How on earth did these goats get there?
*****
In reality the goats are lying on their sides on rocky ground, looking up at a crane-mounted camera. The photograph was taken some years ago, part of a series reconstructing Central European folk customs and traditions which have fallen from favour or are now prohibited.
This old-fashioned rural blood-sport was originally practiced in parts of Anatolia, Turkey, where the game was called keçi fırlatmak, and also in the Carpathian Alps of Romania, possibly imported during the Ottoman conquest. The name there was aruncarea caprei.
*****
The goats would have been coated in a strong adhesive traditionally distilled from pine resin.(represented pictorially here by darker patches of dye on the flanks) and were then thrown upwards towards a cliff or rock-face with makeshift catapults, often a primitive form of counterweight trebuchet assembled from wooden beams and weighted with rocks.
The game ended when the glue dried and lost adhesion, and the goats fell to their deaths. They were then cooked and eaten, their meat being valued like that of Spanish fighting bulls.
The meat of the last goat to fall (başarılı keçi or cea mai durabilă capră) was prized as a special delicacy and selected cuts from the legs of this particular “winner” goat were often smoked and dried into a kind of jerky.
*****
In his “Grandes Histoires Vraies d'un Voyageur le 1er Avril” (pub. Mensonges & Faussetés, Paris, 1871) French folk-historian, anthropologist and retired cavalry general Gilles-Etienne Gérârd wrote about witnessing a festival near Sighișoara, Transylvania, in 1868.
There he claims to have seen catapults improvised from jeunes arbres, très élastiques et souples - “very springy and flexible young trees” - which were drawn back with ropes and then released.
Bets were placed before the throw, and marks given afterwards, according to what way up the goats adhered and for how long. The reconstruction, with both goats upright, facing outward and still in place, shows what would have been a potential high score.
The practice has been officially banned in both countries since the late 1940s, but supposedly still occurred in more isolated areas up to the end of the 20th century. Wooden beams from which the catapults were constructed could easily be disguised as barn-rafters etc., and of course flexible trees were, and are, just trees.
*****
Gérârd’s book incorrectly calls the goat jerky “pastrami”, to which he gives the meaning "meat of preservation".
While pastrami may be a printing error for the Turkish word bastırma or the Romanian pastramă, both meaning “preserved meat”, at least one reviewer claims that Gérârd misunderstood his guide-translator, who would have been working from rural dialect to formal Romanian to scholarly French.
Since this jerky was considered a good-luck food for shepherds, mountaineers, steeplejacks and others whose work involved a risk of falling, Gérârd's assumption seems a reasonable one.
However, several critical comments on that review have dismissed its conclusion, claiming "no translator could be so clumsy", but in its defence, other comments point out confusion between slang usage in the same language.
One cites American and British English, noting that even before differences in spelling (tire / tyre, kerb / curb etc.) "guns" can mean biceps or firearms, "flat" can mean a deflated wheel or a place to live, "ass" can mean buttocks or donkey and adds, with undisguised relish, some of the more embarrassing examples.
This comment concludes that since the errors "usually make sense in context", Gérârd's misapprehension is entitled to the same respect.
*****
The good-luck aspect of the meat apparently extended to work which involved "falling safely", since its last known use was believed to be in ration packs issued to the 1. Hava İndirme Tugayı (1st Airborne Brigade) of the Turkish Army, immediately before the invasion of Cyprus in July 1974.
Nothing more recent has been officially recorded, because the presence of cameras near military bases or possible - and of course illegal - contests is strongly (sometimes forcefully) discouraged, and the sport’s very existence is increasingly dismissed as an urban or more correctly rural legend.
The official line taken by both Anatolian and Carpathian authorities is that it was only ever a joke played on tourists, similar to the Australian “Drop-bear”, the Scottish “Wild Haggis” and the North American “Jackalope”.
They dismiss the evidence of Gérârd’s personal observation as “a wild fable to encourage sales of his book”, “a city-dweller’s misinterpretation of country practices”, or even “the deliberate deception of a gullible foreigner by humorous peasants”.
And as for those paratroop ration packs, Turkish involvement in Cyprus is still such a delicate subject that the standard response remains “no comment”.
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Comments by people about how disappointed they are to hear that Etymonline is a pretty bad source for (English) etymology make me realize how spoiled we are in Slovene with the (relative) quality and accessibility of etymological dictionaries.
There are three (modern) etymological dictionaries for Slovene: the standard work by Bezlaj, Furlan and Snoj, ESSJ (Etymological Dictionary of the Slovene Language; 4 volumes + indices; begun by Bezlaj in 1976, joined in the following volume (1982) by his student Snoj and in the third and fourth also Furlan (1995, 2005); Bezlaj died in 1994); Snoj's more "popular science" version, SES (Slovene Etymological Dictionary, 1st edition in 1997, 3rd in 2016, available online); Furlan's much more rigorous and dialectally oriented NESSJ (New Etymological Dictionary of the Slovene Language; trial folio in 2013, online publication since 2017).
As mentioned, SES and NESSJ are available online, though the very limited scope of NESSJ means that SES is the usual reference. There are talks about putting ESSJ online as well, but there are some issues with rights and Bezlaj's family etc.
Before illustrating the differences between the various Slovene and English sources for etymology, a few notes on what a good etymological dictionary entry should include:
philological documentation (current meaning, phonetic/phonological information (incl. suprasegmental features), morphological characteristics (inflection, gender), word family (derivatives, parallel formations), attestation (historical sources), onomastic material (esp. anthorponymy and toponymy)
comparative material (cognates or related words in closely related languages and in the wider language family)
etymological explanation (word form at the moment of creation, morphemic structure, meaning and semantic motivation)
To demonstrate the differences between the dictionaries, it's best to consider their entries for the same words:
— ESSJ, SES
poln, adj. 'full' in ESSJ and SES. NESSJ does not have this word.
ESSJ includes more information on Slovene historical and dialectal attestation, as well as all the existing forms in other Slavic languages.
SES, on the other hand, besides the relevant derivations only includes those Slavic languages that are more relevant for the Proto-Slavic reconstruction.
It is important to note that this entry from ESSJ is from the third volume, which systematically takes into account the findings of the laryngeal theory (you can see that the reconstruction of the PIE root in ESSJ is *pelH-, with a laryngeal, even if it is not specified which one; cf. the update in SES with *pleh₁-). The first two volumes do not, however, and are therefore in many ways superseded by the entries in SES, even if those are otherwise less rigorous.
***at this point I should note that I'll gladly(!) translate all the Slovene entries if anyone wants me to do so, but I'm not going to do it if no one asks because there are quite a few of them here
Compare the entries in popular English online sources for etymology – Wiktionary and Etymonline; and then also Kroonen's Etymological Dictionary of Proto-Germanic for comparison:
— Kroonen, Wiktionary, Etymonline 1, 2
The Wiktionary entry for full is roughly on par with SES, while Kroonen's Germanic material is more comprehensive. Etymonline, however, shows no trace of the laryngeal theory and when looking at the cognates listed under the root, it's like they've never heard of a diacritic either (except in Old Norse "fjöl-", even though ö is not normally used for Old Norse – ǫ is) – even though those are often crucial! –, not to mention fully replacing ə with e in what should be Avestan pərəna- ...
To also include NESSJ, the word for 'birch' will be used, but first the entries for this word in the already mentioned dictionaries:
—Kroonen, Wiktionary, Etymonline
Again the Etymonline entry just does not compare – it's not just that the PIE reconstruction is non-laryngeal, it's also plain wrong because it has *g instead of *ǵ; also again with the diacritics ...
— ESSJ, SES
As you can see, this entry is from the first volume of ESSJ and thus also non-laryngeal. It is still more comprehensive in terms of material, but the explanation in SES is more up-to-date.
The entry in NESSJ simply does not compare to the ones above – it is more in line with a dictionary like the Etymological Dictionary of Slavic Languages (ÈSSJa) in the amount of information it includes, which means that it is so long that I will put it under the cut:
— NESSJ
You can see that this entry includes much more dialectal and historical material and discusses in depth its historical morphology and types of derivation, finally constructing its diachronic word-family.
And since I mentioned it, here's also the ÈSSJa entry for 'birch':
— ĖSSJa
As it is from the very first folio, from 1974, the explanation is non-laryngeal, as in ESSJ. Compared to NESSJ, it includes (literally) a couple more Slavic languages: Slovincian and Polabian, though understandably no further dialectal material, which NESSJ includes specifically for Slovene. ÈSSJa, as a rule, doesn't reconstruct accentual paradigms for Proto-Slavic, while on the other hand, some of the discussion in NESSJa specifically concerns the question of accentual features of the discussed word and its IE word-family. NESSJ is also more explicit in the discussion of the models of derivation and morphological variants.
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Judgment of the Damned (translation) PART XI
Link part X
Summary:
In the realm of Limbo, where souls deemed too good for Hell but not virtuous enough for Heaven reside, Victoria finds herself thrust into an unprecedented mission. When a notorious sinner, Sir Pentious, achieves redemption and ascends to Heaven, it sends shockwaves through all realms. Tasked with unraveling this mystery, Victoria, a minor judge of souls, is sent to the infamous Hazbin Hotel in Hell. For the first time, an emissary from Limbo steps foot into the fiery depths, tasked with observing and judging the denizens of Hell for their potential for redemption. As Victoria navigates this unfamiliar territory, she captures the unrequired attention of the enigmatic Radio Demon, Alastor. Amidst the chaos of demonic antics and the pursuit of understanding redemption, Victoria must confront her own beliefs and judgments. As she delves deeper into the secrets of the Hazbin Hotel, Victoria uncovers hidden truths about sinners, redemption, and the ultimate fate of souls caught between damnation and salvation. With each soul she encounters, Victoria's journey becomes not only a quest for answers but a personal voyage of self-discovery in the heart of darkness.
Chapter 11: Defying the Limits
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Hello everyone! I apologize for the delay with this chapter. Once again, it was a bit challenging to translate due to Zestial's archaic dialect. I hope you enjoy it!
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Zestial
To say he was furious would be an understatement. The Overlord was indignant as if he had been directly attacked. It couldn't be a coincidence that the radio demon had asked about the Limbo just before the appearance of a judge. Alastor had blatantly lied to his face, and that wouldn't be overlooked. However, Zestial was not someone who let himself be carried away by strong emotions, as it denoted a lack of character and control. No. He preferred to act with intelligence and take advantage of the situation. Therefore, without announcing himself, he showed up at the Hazbin Hotel with the intention of unsettling Alastor and, hopefully, locating the minor judge. Zestial sensed that the radio demon had managed to keep her close.
Once in front of the door, he knocked gently on the stained glass, admiring the building. Clearly, the reconstruction had greatly benefited the hotel. The details in the architecture seemed curious to him, but tasteful. After a few minutes, the door was opened by a timid, frail sinner, whose eyes looked at him in astonishment. Zestial knew it wouldn't be difficult to scare him and thus enjoy a delightful scream of terror, but his priorities at that moment were different.
“Good day, young sir," he greeted courteously. "Pray, what be thy name?"
"Adrian," the boy replied timidly. Zestial couldn't help but smile. This boy was intimidated by his mere presence. He seemed like a fairly new soul and doubted he was very cautious. He decided to seize this opportunity.
"Very well, Adrian. Permit me to present myself, I am Zestial. I have ventured hither in pursuit of my esteemed comrade Alastor. I surmise he is presently engaged. As an Overlord myself, I can empathize."
"Also an Overlord?" the boy replied, widening his eyes. "Unfortunately, the radio demon is not available at the moment. I believe he is hosting his radio show at the station."
"In sooth, might I speaketh with thy grace, the judge who resideth in this inn?" he inquired nonchalantly, trusting the sinner wouldst be ensnared in the stratagem
“Do you know the judge?" Adrian asked, surprised.
"Verily!" he replied, barely containing his laughter. The young man had unwittingly validated his conjectures. The judge did lodge at the inn. "I have e'en kept vigil over her from afar since her advent into these realms.
"Really? But she has never mentioned you," the young man inquired, with a hint of skepticism. Perhaps he wasn't as naive as Zestial had thought.
"Of course she hasn't mentioned me," Zestial expounded. "Thy lady had to keep her connections hidden. Now that her presence in the infernal realm is no longer shrouded in secrecy, there is no utility in maintaining discretion. Thus, I would be beholden to thee if thou wouldst lead me unto her.
"You speak a bit strange," the young man observed, then sighed. "She's still a bit weakened. She woke up just yesterday. It's okay. Just because you're a friend of hers and Alastor's. But don't tell Vaggie or she'll probably kick me out of the hotel."
The Overlord contained a smile. He couldn't believe how easy it had been to convince this young man. Luck had played in his favor, as if someone else had opened the door, this scenario would never have unfolded.
As Adrian led him through the hotel corridors, Zestial took the opportunity to memorize every detail: every nook, every corner, every elevator. He decided not to let his guard down in case he encountered anyone else. However, his concentration was interrupted by the sound of tiny footsteps behind him. Turning around, he found a small lady with a single large eye watching him with a disturbing smile. Zestial merely looked at her with curiosity.
"Uh, you seem like a very bad boy... very bad and scary," said the red-haired woman followed by a chilling laugh.
"She's Niffty," Adrian explained nervously. "She's a bit odd, but she's not bad. Anyway, I recommend you don't be alone with her."
Zestial remained silent, feeling unsettled by the way the little woman was looking at him. He simply nodded. The lady started walking towards him, which put him on alert.
"Niffty! I forgot to tell you that someone dirtied the windows in the lobby," Adrian urged. At this, the tiny sinner made a sound of annoyance and proceeded to leave. Zestial found himself surprised, sighing with relief. "We'd better continue before she finds out I lied to her."
Zestial trailed behind the youth, casting occasional glances rearward. Though loath to concede, he hadn't experienced such discomfort in centuries. The prospect of encountering that dame anew held no allure. Finally, the young man stopped in front of a door, indicating that it was the judge's room. Adrian knocked softly on the wood with his knuckles.
"Yes?" came a pleasant voice from within.
"Judge Victoria, you have a visitor," Adrian continued. Now Zestial knew her Honor's name.
"Let them in," the woman's voice came after a few long seconds.
Zestial entered the room without Adrian. Lying on the bed was a woman with chestnut hair and amber eyes, looking at him defiantly yet with a hint of intrigue. The judge's presence was striking, her upright posture adding to her aura of dignity. Zestial held his breath for a moment. He was facing a strong woman not easily intimidated. She reminded him of Carmilla, whom he deeply respected. However, he didn't know if this judge felt any compassion or had someone to protect, unlike Carmilla, who was willing to do anything for her daughters. The woman didn't avert her gaze from him for a single moment and slowly began to arch an eyebrow.
"Well?" Victoria asked in a calm yet firm voice. "How may I assist you, Mr. Zestial?"
“I should not marvel that thou knowest who I am. I suppose thou camest prepared to these domains. I am sorry for troubling thee even in thy weakness, but thy appearance in the news deeply caught my attention. It was imperative for me to finally meet thee,” he responded with a slight bow. He chose to show himself respectful and courteous.
"I sense you wish to know what brings me here," the judge concluded, remaining calm, with a slight smile on her lips.
"Verily. Furthermore, I shan't deny that having thy friendship is advantageous. Besides, I wish to inquire further about the Limbo. I have always been fascinated by the legends surrounding that domain," responded the Overlord, taking a few steps forward. The woman was intriguing. Zestial could wager that Alastor was already doing his utmost to gain the lady's trust. A challenging endeavor, undoubtedly.
"I must inform you that I cannot divulge much information. Nor do I intend to favor anyone. What I can say is that I have come here to report on the situation of Hell to the Supreme Judges. It has been a long time, and it is necessary to update the information we possess. To do so, I intend to remain as neutral as possible," said Victoria, with a cunning gleam in her eyes. "That being said, I am very glad to have your presence here... what better than an Overlord to speak to me about this circle of hell?"
Zestial could not refrain from a light laughter. The judge was playing her cards to gather information. "I understand. Yet it seemeth more suspicious to me that the supreme judges wish to update their knowledge about hell at this moment. As thou thyself didst point out, it hath been a long time. Surely there is some event that motivated such interest. Regarding the other matter... Dost thou not already have another Overlord by thy side?"
"Perhaps you are giving too much credit to the supremes and they simply needed something to entertain themselves with. And about Alastor, he hasn't been in hell as long as you have. When exactly did you arrive in hell? Was it difficult for you to be an Overlord? Do you think you are different from the Zestial who arrived in these domains?" said Victoria with genuine interest.
"Why dost thou inquire so deeply into me?" he asked, somewhat surprised. He could perceive that the judge was being genuine. However, that did not imply that she had no hidden motives behind that curiosity.
"I already told you. You managed to catch my attention. After all, you managed to make your way to my room by tricking Adrian, I assume... Is your curiosity about a minor judge that strong? What motivates that curiosity? What sparked that aspect of your personality? What are your motivations and what are the sources of those motivations? I believe it is convenient for me to fully understand such an ancient Overlord as yourself to infer the impacts that your presence has had on hell and how it influenced the current state of this circle," Victoria pointed out with great eloquence
Zestial began to laugh. This girl knew how to get someone talking, and he wasn't going to deny her that. He decided to sit in the chair beside the bed, conjuring a cup of tea. The girl was charming. He thought she could be a good ally of Carmilla's, or at the very least, a friend. "Very well, Your Honor," he said, getting comfortable. "Thou hast convinced me with thy eloquence. I shall answer thy questions, but I want something in return. Nothing complicated. Allow me one of these days to introduce thee to a friend of mine." The Overlord saw the judge nod. The girl inspired confidence. Her elegant presence and charisma made her a being with great potential. Zestial dared to think that this girl might even get the nobility on her good side and influence them. Perhaps she was the pawn they were looking for to unify the masses and have the princess under their influence. "So, Your Honor. Where do we begin?"
Alastor
After finishing his broadcast, he decided to linger at the station for a while. He tried to stop thinking about yesterday's events, but he found himself making excuses to visit Victoria. The judge had openly recognized his ability as a radio host and had also sincerely thanked him for his small rescue. Every time he thought about it, he felt a certain pride, but then the whirlwind of thoughts would come crashing back. He still had many questions to ask her, but he needed to find a way to confront her without his mind descending into chaos. On the other hand, he couldn't waste too much time, as she was now in the spotlight of prominent figures.
The judge was the key to his freedom. He needed to get her to nullify the contract that bound him, even if there was no real legal basis for it. She must have sufficient authority or at least the necessary knowledge. However, he found it difficult to believe that she would act corruptly. He would have to convince her somehow that it was for the greater good, or simply deceive her. But that would have to wait. For now, he needed to learn more about the Limbo and the Supreme Judges, because why limit his ambition only to Hell when he could aspire to also pull the strings of Limbo? Everyone had a weakness. Lucifer's was Charlie, for example. Surely the Supreme Judges were no different. Moreover, Alastor had no doubt that those beings could also die. Patience was needed.
"Alastor!" he heard Vaggie shout from outside his studio. "You better come out of there. Niffty is being more weird than her usual self, and I can't find Adrian anywhere. Take care of it."
Alastor frowned in irritation. Weren't they capable of dealing with anything on their own? Interrupted in his moment of peace, he had no choice but to investigate what was going on. He transported himself out of his studio with Vaggie, concealing his annoyance. "There's no need to shout. It's quite annoying," he informed the former exterminator.
"Ugh, don't you hear the commotion?"
"Mmmm no," the radio host responded mockingly. "We all have the right to rest from others, and I've learned to ignore them, like white noise. Well, let's not waste any time. I'll go see what's going on with our little companion." Once again, Alastor transported himself, arriving in the lobby, where Niffty was running frantically around everywhere, beside herself. Then, the small woman headed to different areas of the hotel, non-stop. Eventually, Alastor stood in front of her, causing Niffty to bump into his legs. "What's going on, Niffty? Some particularly elusive insect?"
"Something like that, Alastor," she replied with that disturbing laughter. "A very bad boy slipped away from me. Adrian tricked me with the windows."
"I beg you pardon?" he inquired, confused. Had Niffty's instability reached the point of delirium?
"Adrian brought us a very, very bad man, Alastor. With four eyes and a spider leg bow tie. Taller than you. I'm looking for him to take something from him and add it to my collection," Niffty continued, even more unrestrained
Alastor felt a chill run down his spine. That description matched Zestial. How could he have underestimated the Overlord so much? It was only a matter of time before he connected the dots and appeared at the hotel, but he never thought it would be so soon or in such an inconspicuous manner. How had no one noticed his presence? Without wasting a second, he appeared in Victoria's room, finding an unexpected scene.
Sitting upright on the bed, with a cup of tea, was the judge, engaged in a friendly and lively conversation with Zestial, who was casually seated in the chair next to the bed. Both fell silent and looked at him when they realized his abrupt arrival in the room. Zestial smiled at him, squinting his eyes.
"Alastor," Victoria called out. "It's rude to appear like this in someone's room," she scolded, tilting her head.
""I would venture to say the offense is greater considering that this is a lady's chamber," the old Overlord added indifferently, but Alastor knew that Zestial was enjoying his humiliation.
"My apologies, dear judge, but I thought your integrity might be threatened upon learning of Zestial's presence in the hotel," he reluctantly replied. Of course Zestial would play the role of the gentleman!
"My integrity threatened by Zestial? Oh, don't be absurd," Victoria chuckled lightly. "This gentleman is very kind, with impeccable manners and a fascinating story. We're simply learning from each other."
"Verily, thy grace hath a silver tongue," Zestial continued, his gaze fixed upon Alastor. "Yea, she is a charming damsel. I comprehend why thou didst keep her hidden, Alastor. But thou needst not bear the task of her welfare alone any longer, for we are now comrades," the archaic Overlord said, placing his hand on the judge's shoulder.
"Splendid!" replied the broadcaster, masking his irritation. Zestial had barely interacted with Victoria and already he called her his friend! Not only did he have the audacity to touch her shoulder, but also to proclaim himself her protector when only he had that right. "But Zestial, believe me, it wasn't merely out of preference that I hid the judge's presence. Her grace insisted on keeping her visit confidential," he continued, feigning indifference. "I hope there are no hard feelings between us." Alastor felt his ego being attacked by the Overlord and was unwilling to give him the satisfaction of seeing him irritated. He wanted to deny it, but he was deeply frustrated that Zestial thought it was so easy to gain the judge's trust, as if all the efforts he, Alastor, had made so far were worth nothing. It was like being a spectator in his own play. No, Alastor had already decided that Victoria was his source of entertainment, and he wasn't willing to let anyone else monopolize that fun. After all, she was his challenge.
It's reassuring to know that I have the support of two Overlords," said Victoria amiably, taking a sip of tea. Her carefree attitude infuriated Alastor even more.
"Well, dear judge, I fail to see why bother Zestial when I am more than enough," replied the radio demon, not holding back his words but maintaining a cheerful tone. "After all, he's already somewhat Carmilla's protector. Besides, you seem to have a knack for causing trouble, don't you?"
"Really? Well, Zestial, you do seem to enjoy looking after people, don't you?" Victoria remarked, looking at the archaic being, ignoring Alastor's sarcastic comment.
"Verily, I cannot gainsay it. 'Tis but individuals of worth. Both possess determination and strength of character. 'Twould be naive not to wager on thee," replied Zestial with pride
"In that case, Alastor is right. I truly don't want to inconvenience you. And from our conversation, I can tell that you are a busy individual," remarked the judge, setting a certain boundary with Zestial. "But don't doubt that I will come to you if I need help."
"Fear not, Judge Victoria. I expect no more. And Alastor," continued the ancient Overlord, transporting himself before him, "There is no ill will. Your grace has vouched for thee already."
Alastor glanced at Zestial. Clearly, those words weren't entirely honest. The archaic being was going to seize any opportunity to level the playing field. He didn't blame him. Certainly, the situation could have been worse. "How delightful to hear that, dear friend."
"I bid thee farewell for the moment. We shall meet again, Judge," concluded Zestial as he departed the room.
Alastor remained silent, gazing at the chair where Zestial had been sitting just minutes ago, trying to contain his annoyance. How could the Overlord claim friendship with Victoria as if it were so easy? He hadn't even interacted with her enough to arrogate that title. How could he be losing ground so easily? And why on earth wasn't Victoria seeing through Zestial's machinations? Didn't she see that he, too, was an opportunist looking out for his own agenda? Why did it bother him so much that she was giving in so easily? Why did he hate that someone else was trying to enter the game between them? It churned his stomach with irritation that Zestial would seek to win the favor of the judge in the same way he did.
"He's a pleasant fellow. Don't you think?" Victoria remarked with a smile. That was the last straw.
"Are you out of your mind? Do you really think Zestial is a good fellow? Don't be naive! You're cautious with me, but with him, you let yourself be fooled by pretty words and manners? He's another opportunist seeking his own benefit. Like everyone else here!" he reproached, barely containing his frustration.
"Oh, come on," she replied with a small laugh. "He was quite pleasant and helpful. And he didn't even make much effort to hide his true nature."
"Does your arrogance cloud your judgment? Getting involved with him will only bring trouble. Don't trust him," he continued, growing more frustrated at Victoria's lack of seriousness. "Zestial is an ancient being who knows perfectly well how to play his cards. After all, I couldn't get rid of him back then. And here you are, playing tea party as if he were a harmless rabbit."
"You're exaggerating. I assure you this won't affect your own interests," the judge replied, shrugging.
Alastor bit his lower lip, feeling frustration and confusion creeping over him. He didn't know how to explain to Victoria what he was really feeling because he couldn't even understand it himself. Why did he always end up questioning his relationship with her? Why did her opinion of him matter so much? He couldn't help but feel a certain... emotional connection, despite his efforts to deny it. But no, it couldn't be. This is just a game, a pastime. Or is it? A means to an end. Alastor decided to try another angle and be honest. "Victoria, I didn't lie yesterday when I told you that you've earned my respect. I hope to be able to have a camaraderie with you," he finished, thinking of Rossi. Curiously, it didn't leave him satisfied, but for now, it was enough to calm his mind.
"Alastor, didn't I tell you not to underestimate me? I thought you had already learned that," Victoria said with a soft, kind and playful voice. "I understand Zestial's intentions perfectly well, and I don't take his words seriously. I simply played along. I know he's cunning, but it was necessary to enter his courtesy board to get what I wanted."
"What do you mean?" he asked, feeling curiosity slowly replacing his irritation.
"My job, Alastor. Remember that I'm here to determine if there are redeemable souls here. I hope that this investigation ends with a staggering number of salvageable souls and thus achieves a change in the system, an improvement. For that, I need to have information on as many souls as possible. And I don't just mean the story of their lives. For that, I could simply lock myself in the Limbo archive. I need to know their motivations, the source of their decisions, every introspection they've made since their arrival in hell, their reflections, hopes, and shattered dreams. I need to know the depth of their hearts."
Alastor absorbed Victoria's words, surprised by the depth of her mission in hell. For a moment, his mind shifted away from frustration and immersed itself in the seriousness of the task she had undertaken. "So, is Zestial just a pawn in your larger game?" he asked, seeking to fully understand Victoria's strategy.
She nodded with a smile, her eyes shining with determination. "I hate to call it a game, but yes. Zestial is just one of the many players on this board. My goal is to gather as much information as possible to make informed decisions about the fate of these souls. To truly make a change. There are many things I don't agree with in this system," she explained. "I can't afford to overlook any opportunity to obtain valuable information, even if it means playing the role Zestial has for me. You must understand that to achieve this, I must be open with the souls of this place and show a genuine interest in them, something I truly have. I'm not here just for the Supreme Judges; I'm here for myself and for my ideals."
Alastor couldn't help but let out a small laugh. The Radio Host couldn't help but see himself reflected in the judge's ambition. She looked at him confused for his reaction. "Don't misunderstand me, my dear judge. I'm not mocking you. I just find it incredible how, despite being so different, having such divergent goals, we both long for something greater. The pursuit of power and knowledge, the need to challenge the limits imposed on us. Darling, you want to challenge the status quo, playing this game to achieve your goals. Your methods may not resemble mine, but whether you like it or not, you and I are not so different," he concluded, leaning on his cane with a wide smile. Realizing that her presence went beyond blind obedience confirmed his suspicions. This woman was much more than she let on. She was a force that not only had to be reckoned with but also mastered.
The judge looked at him perplexed. Her mouth moved as if she wanted to deny his words, but she couldn't find a way to argue against them. Her amber-colored eyes looked at him completely open. Alastor couldn't help but smile conspiratorially at Victoria's confused expression. He had never seen her put on such a different expression from her elegant and dignified aura, from her usual calm demeanor. It was a sight he was deeply enjoying. "Perhaps you're right," Victoria replied, looking away.
"Don't be so surprised, my dear judge. After all, we are two forces sharing a determination that defies established norms. Beings like us always strive for something, be it power, knowledge, justice, or simply freedom." Alastor fell silent after his exchange with Victoria, letting his own words resonate in his mind. The feeling of discomfort was making its presence felt again, but this time he wasn't going to let it dominate him. He had to face it. He couldn't deny it anymore; it was impossible to continue rejecting any hint of an emotional connection with the judge. He had convinced himself that these interactions were just a game, a strategy meant to satisfy his own desires and ambitions, to find an endless source of entertainment. He scolded himself. He should have listened to his instinct when it screamed at him to stay away. The situation was completely bewildering and inexplicable, but a fact nonetheless. How could he have allowed this to happen? To have an emotional attachment? It was ridiculous, and it infuriated him. He felt as if he had betrayed his own nature and identity. He still had time to distance himself, but a part of him refused to do so because he still had goals to achieve in which she was an important card. Once again, she was his challenge, and now he had even less reason to allow anyone to claim her attention, time, or interest.
"I find it hard to admit that you understand me more than I thought. I thought there would be mockery or disdain from your part. You're more insightful than I had anticipated," Victoria admitted with a small smile curving her lips. "Perhaps this camaraderie you seek is a good idea."
Those words were enough for Alastor to feel that warm sensation in his stomach again. However, that feeling was quickly replaced by the frustration that all of this caused him, by the betrayal he felt toward himself. Without thinking, he approached Victoria and leaned towards her. The judge looked absolutely surprised.
"My dear judge, I'm glad you understand," Alastor said in a cold voice, "but for that, it's crucial that there are no secrets between us," he continued, taking her chin so she wouldn't look away. "Tell me, my dear Victoria. Why do you bleed red?"
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Link part XII
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