#relaxx writes
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red scissors chapter two ✂💘
#red scissors#theres some mild solkat in this one i hope youre hungry for that O_O#hey i said davekat is endgame i didnt say no solkat#forgive my multishipper heart there will be a lot of nonsense#relaxx writes
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A SLUMBER PARTY WITH SUMMER
SUMMER TROUPE SPECIAL!
PAIRING : SLIGHT! MUKU SAKISAKA X FEM!READER
GENRE : FLUFF
C/W : Nothing Much. Just Tooth Rotting Fluff!
LIBRARIAN’S NOTE/S : this was made on a whim—I was supposed to be sleeping, but I felt like writing, so here ya goo, this ended up being longer than expected. don’t worry, you have the same age with muku here
NOTES & REBLOGS ARE ALWAYS VERY MUCH APPRECIATED ^^
It was late. Very late. You were the only one awake right now. The Summer troupe decided to have a sleepover in Muku’s and Kazunari’s dorm. You, their ever so close friend, was invited, well more like you happen to be hanging out in the room when Kazunari suddenly decided to host a slumber party, Summer Troupe edition. This took a lot of convincing on Tenma’s and Yuki’s part. They thought it was childish at first but they ended up obliging to it anyways. It was tons of fun, despite how late the night was, their energy just never seem to drain. Not until a pillow fight was instigated. Totally not because Kazunari just suddenly throwing it to Misumi, but the said Trianglian ended up throwing it to Yuki. Who in turn decided to throw it Tenma just to annoy him. Now the said leader went “What the hell was that for?!” and then threw the pillow back at Kazunari. “This is all out war!!” The said Instablam Influencer declared. It was all laughs and shouts. You didn’t participate much since you were busy recording it all, but that didn’t excuse you from getting hit. So let’s just say the whole recording was well, chaotic. Soon enough it died down, and right now here you were, unable to sleep, very wide awake.
Looking at everyone was so endearing so you took a photo of it BUT you forgot to turn the shutter sound off so SNAP! This alarmed you and your face legit went, “Oh My Goodness! Please don’t wake up—“ Fortunately for you, they were dead asleep, well except for a certain pink-haired prince. He got up and saw you awake, “Y/N-san?” He asked while yawning, “Ah. Sorry for waking you up Mukkun.” You apologized. “It’s fine Y/N-san, don’t worry about it!” He said with his signature cute smile. “If you don’t mind, but why’re you still awake?” He asked while approaching your spot to sit next to you. “Nothing much, simply can’t sleep. I’m usually still awake at this hour so I’m not surprised I’m not yet sleepy.” You answered, making sure your voice is not too loud. “Usually me and Kyuchan would drink warm milk when we had sleepovers like this and couldn’t sleep. Juchan would always accompany us to make sure we don’t hurt ourselves.” He said, “Wanna drink warm milk then?” You offered, “E-Eh?! But what if they catch us and we’re still awake?!” He panicked softly. “Relaxx, we should be fineee, plus it’s a weekend, I bet you Itaru-san is busy gaming with Banri-san right now.” You assured the pink boy. Standing up you offered your hand and him accepting it.
You both ventured off to dorm’s kitchen, much to your surprise Omi was still awake, contrary to that, you anticipated that Chikage would probably be outside working if he didn’t have any “business trips”. “Oh. You two are still awake. I thought all of you fell asleep when the shouting died down.” Chikage commented, “Yeahhh—I accidentally woke up Mukkun while taking a photo of them sleeping.” You admitted awkwardly to which the cabbage head chuckled in response. “You two need anything?” Omi asked, “Ah…we were hoping for some warm milk.” Muku answered. “Sure, let me handle it.” The brown haired adult said. “By the way, Y/N, you said something about a photo, do you mind sending it to me later?” Omi asked, “Yeah sure.” You said. Then silence fell. It was a bit uncomfortable since you weren’t very close with the other members of Mankai but thanks to the warm milk finally finished, you could brush that feeling off now. While drinking, the warm milk, you and Muku would start small conversations here and there and if the topic was something the two adults could relate to, they’d butt in for a bit too.
After drinking the warm milk and thanking Omi, you two decided to go back. Only to be greeted by the Summer Troupe with questioning faces. “Looks like you two finally came back from your date!” Kazunari teased. “E-EHHH?!” The both of you said in unison, “We just went outside to drink warm milk!” Muku ended up exclaiming with his terrified looking face while his cheeks were as red as Sakuya’s hair. “Looks like fairy tale boy had fun. Bleghh! Couple things are gross.” Yuki said with his deadpan face. “H-HE-HEY WE WERE NOT—“ You were gonna say something but Misumi just had to throw his triangle pillow at you. “No fair! You guys had fun without us.” He pouted, “Yeahh! You broke the unspoken and sacred rule of sleepovers!!” Kumon argued. “THE WHAT NOW?!” You exclaimed. “You guys need to be punished.” Tenma said, “Oh look. The hack finally spoke up.” Yuki commented, which earned a “hey!” from the leader. Then soon enough, everyone was wide awake and more chaotic than ever. This—This night is indeed gonna be a veeerry long night.
!! DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE ELSE !! THIS IS THE PROPERTY OF YUUNEMI !! IT DOESN’T CLAIM TO OWN THE CHARACTERS THAT BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS !!
#a3! x reader#a3 x reader#summer troupe#a3! summer troupe#a3! natsugumi#a3! summer troupe x reader#natsugumi#muku sakisaka x reader#a3! muku x reader#a3! kumon#a3! kazunari#a3! tenma#a3! misumi#a3! yuki#a3! muku sakisaka x reader#a3! fluff#fluff#reader inserts#a3! fanfic#x reader
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Heartbreak Woman [Cho/Cedric Ending]
Warning: Angst! Brokenhearted!Reader
WC:1454
I proposed 3 varying endings and the response was across the board so I decided why the heck not write ALL 3 choices!
a/n: I haven't been active on tumblr this past month. Motivation to read & write wasn't really there. Feelin pretty crap. I don't think it's my best work- I actually wrote this ending last month but delay posting it since I promised to post all 3 endings back to back- but with the recent burnout, my progress is slow. Proofread it and push the insecurities & anxieties away and here we are. Love was put into this, I hope you enjoy it! Don't worry, the other 2 endings are on the way.
I tried posting this 9 times now and it keeps saying error. this is me testing it with mobile so formatting is hard but I hope it posts
BG: You were hoping that your best friend, Cedric to ask you to the Yule Ball. Instead you were roped into helping him ask Cho out. It broke your heart, but at least this way while helping him out you could pretend that he was doing all the sweet things to you. On the other side of the picture, Harry was too heartbroken upon learning that Cho is going out with Cedric.
Read the main story before it diverges ending here!
>>>Heartbreak Woman [Main]
>>>MASTERLIST<<<
Did Harry Potter really just ask you out and you said yes?
Touching your forehead, it wasn’t bleeding anymore but there is still a slight sting to it from the collision with Harry’s broom. Yes. That definitely happened. You thought to yourself, this isn’t some delusion from the injury.
This is good. This is good. Hyping yourself up. You enjoy his company and that should be enough to stop your thoughts from going about a certain Hufflepuff boy. The same boy you had abruptly left alone in the greens. It’s not his fault nor it is Cho’s for wanting to date each other. You have nothing against them, they are both such lovely and kind people and not to mention popular- it was only a matter of time that they got together, Hogwarts’ Power Couple.
No, it’s just you and your stupid feelings falling for your best friend and agreeing to help with the courtship.
‘Y/n? Hii.” The voice reels you back to reality.
You blinked. “Cho! Hi!” Greeting her loudly had been taken by surprise. You dial down your volume. “What can I do for you?”
“It’s actually what you did, really… I just wanted to say thank you.”
You were confused, why was she thanking you?
“For helping Cedric I mean” She clarified. “He mentioned that you helped him with the picnic idea. It was very sweet. It was what made me finally say yes.”
“That’s awesome.” You force yourself to smile. “I’m glad you guys are together, I can finally get that git to stop bothering me with date ideas. That’s 3 weeks of my life I’m not getting back!” There was some truth to that statement, now that she and Cedric are together you don’t have to go through the pain of practice dates with Cedric.
“You y/n are the absolute wingwoman! Legend material!” Cho praised. “You're like my fairy godmother!” She continues, wrapping you into an embrace.
“yayyyy….That’s me…” You mumble into her luscious hair. Grateful that Cho couldn’t see your face. Pulling apart, you don’t let her go quite yet. With hands on her shoulder, you stare unwavering. “Just don’t break his heart yea? He’s really smitten by you, promise you won’t hurt him.”
Cho is taken aback a bit, your words clearly coming from a strong emotional bond with the boy. Thoughts of love, Eros, passed through her mind but brushed it away - It can’t be y/n help them get together. Y/n’s words must come from Philia love, y/n and Cedric had been best friends since before they could talk! Everyone knows that. They have a soul connection that can’t be replicated. “I promise.”
~
14th February.
Valentine’s Day.
This holiday sucks.
No, not for the reason that you’re single. Nah.
Today is a downer as you won’t be able to do your annual tradition.
See every since 3rd year you and Cedric would be in a pink ensemble outfit complete with red heart sunglasses. Spreading chants of self love and showering fellow single students and professors with compliments. This all started out when your roommates teased you for not having a date for Valentine’s day. When Cedric had heard about it, he went all out. The boy basically made sure that every single person knew how wonderful, beautiful and intelligent you are.
It was this day onwards that 2 things happened.
Complementing and advocating for self love, Philautia, in a pink get up became an annual Valentine’s tradition. (Even a couple of students joined the cause, expanding from you just both into an association/group of sorts.)
You started to see Cedric in a new light. In other words, you were falling in love with your best friend.
Scanning the Great Hall for pink cladded pupils, you were glad that the group had saved you a seat however a certain Hufflepuff was out of sight. Taking a deep breath, you cleared your head. Get it together y/n. Today is about sharing love and do NOT think about Cedric and Cho going on a romantic date in Hogsmeade.
You were about to take a step forward when-
“Argh!” Shutting your eyes as the hall spun around.
“Relaxx!! Relax! It’s just me.”
Feet back on solid ground, you turned towards the perpetrator, the one boy you did not want to see right now. “What the fuck Ced! Don’t scare me like that!”
“I’m sorry…” Cedric raises his arms in surrender. “Is everything alright?”
“Yea everything’s fine.”
Cedric raises a brow. You forget that this boy can see through your bullshit.
“Only had a couple hours of sleep, that’s all.” It wasn’t a lie, in fact you’d only gotten 3 hours of rest last night, it was just the case of omitting that his upcoming date with Cho was the reason for your restlessness. You don’t want to blame it on jealousy, but it is.
Grabbing hold of your hand, he pulls you towards the group. "Alright then, I've got some spare sleeping potion if you need."
You wave to your fellow singles as you sit down."uh..thanks Ced." You couldn't stop vocalizing your confusion as to why Cedric is still right next to you. Normally you wouldn't complain, but today was Valentine's Day.
"Ouch y/n!" Cedric sassed, eyes focused on piling food onto his plate." Just because I have a girlfriend now doesn't mean I would disappear on my best girl."
My best girl. It hurts to be called that in another context than you wanted.
"Don't you have a date with Cho today?"
"Yea but Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop doesn't open until 11am. Which gives me time for our annual Valentine's tradition!"
"But you're taken."
"Yes….but I could still help spreading the love!" Cedric glanced around. "No one minds that I come to join you right?"
A murmur of Nos filled your eyes.
"Haha! See I told you!" Cedric brags, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Looks at you straight in the eyes, those gorgeous grey irises melting away your defenses."You can't get rid of me that easily." He whispers, loud enough only for you to hear. You could feel the heat filling up your face due to his closeness. Too busy lost in the rapid beats of your heart, you failed to notice his face getting even closer.
A softness like cotton grazes your cheek.
Cedric kissed you!
Your mind is close to being short circuited. The area of where Cedric's lips were a nanosecond ago is cold as ice. The cold contrasted with your now burning hot, blushing face.
You could live in this forever. All external environments quiet, blocked out of focus. Cedric's arms around you while the butterflies in your stomach bursts out, occupying your whole body with sheer giddiness from having his lips on you.
But the daydream breaks.
"Hey Love! You ready?"
"Morning!" He greets, kissing her. "Uh…" It's only 9:34am. You nod, silently telling him that it was okay to miss your annual tradition. You weren't expecting any quality time today, yet he managed even if it was just for breakfast. "Yea.. give me 10 minutes to go change and I'll pick you up at the courtyard?"
"Sounds great. Be quick cause I miss you already!"
"Sure will sweetheart." He pecks her lips again then waves goodbye to the table and he's off, running.
The tension changes once Cedric is gone.
"Can I talk to you outside y/n?"
"uh yeah" Once outside. "What's up?" Trying to sound casual. Cho inviting you to speak privately isn't usual-seeing that you were the couple's go to accomplice for surprises.
"I see the way you look at him."
"I'm sorry?"
"I know.you like him. y/n. I know you like Cedric."
"Cho.. you can't be serious, he's my best friend!"
"I wasn't sure then.but just now..the way you act around him. the way you look at him. y/n is undeniable. It’s so obvious-I had assumptions then but everyone just brushes it off as your childhood friend with each other. heck even both of you say that."
"Cho…."
"I didn't bring this up before because I felt insecure, jealous even that I can't live up to the standard of relationship you and Cedric have.”
You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. There were too many revelations bombarding you all at once, that you are having trouble processing what is going on.
“But I am tired of what ifs and worrying.” Voice quivering, she continues. “You've got to tell him, y/n."
The words snap you back into place.
"Cho… I can't. I can't ruin your relationship."
If you love someone and they love someone else, you let them go.
~
Everything Taglist :@gruffle1
HP Taglist:@onlyfreds
Heartbreak woman Tagist:
@joalinbenefits @the-natureofme @romanoffs-heart @justmesadgirl @plumso @gleefulleve @wolf-phoenix-lover @ceofcedric @savvy7392 @cedricsfluffyhair @thewayilookatbacon @LIONLIKEWOLFLIKE @mellifluous-cosmos
#cedric diggory x reader#cedric diggory#cedric diggory imagine#cedric diggory angst#cedric diggory fluff#cho chang#harry potter x reader#cedric diggory imagines#cedric x cho#cedric diggory x cho chang#fandomscombine writes
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just woke up and im gonna cry this is the best news ever, like eighty good news announcements all at once, like literally omg?? is it my BIRTHDAY or something????
thank you so much for staying awake and writing it down youre my hero rn
- max relaxx
As if I could sleep while Tubbo is balling this hard rn Max Relaxx... He was SO excited to make farms and he gambled his way into a pufferfish spawn egg (only egg on the server) which he is going to use alongside Ranboo's Talents to make a pufferfish spawner. He gets no benefit from this other than having more fish and yet he almost passed out from excitement when Dream allowed him to have it
#cannot recomment Tubbo's vod enough best vod in a LONG fucking while#(also hi! :] )#asks#FOR REAL HE STARTED PLAY8NG MCR AT SOME POINT.#IM SRS HE RANDOMLY WENT "Wahts that song thats like 'teenagers scare the-?' im gonna put it on''#AND HE DID??? GENUINELY GOT WORRIED I WAS DREAMING FOR A SEC#your prediction abt everyting coming back in October...... You were right you did it
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the Gay Panics©️ 2.0
I guess this was long awaited. *drumroll* THE GAY PANICS FROM CHOI HERE LISTED FOR YOUR QUEER ASSES
(This is kinda shorter than last year's, but just cause the entire fucking book is a gigantic gay panic)
"There you are," Ariadne said. "James, Cordelia. Congratulations." Then, without pause, she turned to Anna. "Would you take a turn about the room with me, Miss Lightwood?" [...]
Anna's posture changed; she had been lounging with her hands in her pockets, but now she straightened up. "No one else in wandering about the ballroom. Ariadne."
ANNA MY LOVELY LOVELY FREN. YOU SHOULD TRY TO KEEP YOUR GAY AT BAY FROM TIME TO TIME
[Ariadne] was sure her cheeks were dark red. Hopefully Anna couldn't see her properly. Ariadne took a deep breath.
I'll give you that girl. I imagine being that close to Anna does things to your respiratory system;)
[...] But it had been Alastair who had answered the door. Alastair, looking strained and tense, as if grief had tightened his skin over his bones. His lower lip was red, as if he'd bitten it, his fingers-fingers that had run so gently over the inside of Thomas's forearm, where a compass rose now unfurled its inked lines-twitching nervously at his side.
Thomas had nearly run away on the spot.
LOOOK WE ALSO HAVE A FLASHBACK TO THE FIRST GAY PANIC
[Alastair] knew he had to stop starring at Thomas, but he wasn't quite sure how to manage it, [...]
Rereading this after having finished the book hurts like a motherfucker. You'll manage just fine apparently, don't worry Alas.
AND LAST PLACE GOES TO THE ACTUAL PANIC. VISIBLE TO THOSE NEXT TO OUR BOYS AS WELL CAUSE IT WAS JUST THAT. UTTER PANIC.
Alastair's chin was up, his expression haughty. A terrible tension knotted James's stomach. He could see Thomas looking at Alastair with an expression almost of panic.
MY BBY, RELAXX! HE'S HERE TO MAKE OUT!!!!!
(everyone feel free to add whatever you want-i just stopped writing them down at some point cause shit was going doown)
#choi#chain of iron#chain of gold#chain of thorns#tlh#the last hours#gay panics#thomas lightwood#alastair carstairs#ariadne bridgestock#kamala joshi#anna lightwood#thomastair#arianna
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Ayo curious anon here- im gonna rewatch rewatch the vod and take note of every single punch and why it appears to have happened then we can compare notes. Also i am interested in your opinion on relaxx's post :0 also if u want a vid rec i know a cool vid where someone replied to a dream apologist who;;; excused exile but it also brings up some interesting points :0
alright, well good luck! my focus was more on the fact that c!dream didn't start punching first until the very end (he did punch back a few times but that's not what i was tracking), and c!tommy was punching him the entire time beforehand, so if you count more "first punches" for the very ending i don't think that would matter that much, but if you have something beforehand that's a discrepancy on my part feel free to tell me :]
i'm not going to watch it for myself because i'm afraid they'd generalize dream apologists based on that one person and make a lot of assumptions that don't apply to me + use possibly insulting, emotionally charged language as a result, but if there are good points you'd like to debate about feel free to send those!
as for relaxx post ( link to the original ) i have a reply written up with my opinions, so yeah;
/dsmp /rp
i was going to put in a first part saying how this is biasedly worded and insinuating that c!tommy was somehow protecting his family by standing up against c!dream during the negotiation (which really was the other way around, him being reckless and endangering them) but i don’t wanna seem aggressive or condescending so i just deleted that. they have emotions about c!tommy and they see him in a certain light thanks to that and i respect that enough not to bother them.
the majority of this is about c!dream anyway, which is more my playing field.
“it didn’t even work because dream didn’t care about spirit”
basic misinterpretation by someone not knowledgeable about the character besides watching c!tommy’s pov. obviously this is not true in the slightest, c!dream has proven time and time again that spirit’s leather is what he cares about the most right after his friends - he traded one of the discs for it, and he had sentimental attachment to the horse. him saying later that he doesn’t is not him revealing anything, or maybe even lying (there’s different interpretations of that scene - in my opinion it’s more of a decision than anything).
of course i do agree that c!dream is manipulative. the reasons for that can be debated, but he is. i wouldn’t call him a “master manipulator” - that’s reserved for people who not even the audience notices are being manipulative despite the obvious red flags, but c!dream is very much manipulative - he’s just the only one people notice, which isn’t really pro of him /j
“dream tells tommy he cut off all attachments, he abandons and stops talking to his friends”
he did stop talking to them… after they abandoned him. small mistake, big difference in the way we see the character.
“he tells tommy among other things that he “does it all because it’s fun and he’s playing with his food” “no, i just like to cause chaos” “i’m doing this so you can have an origin story. the perfect hero origin” “i can make us immortal together!” we don’t have a way to confirm or deny these as true/false since we don’t know what dream’s thinking, but. sadly they appear to line up with his actions.”
no, it doesn’t. it doesn’t line up at all with the way he talks to… anyone else, or with his character in general. it’s an intimidation tactic to cover up his true intentions and make himself out to be more of a threat because he wants people to be afraid of him - that’s what gives him power, basically. threats and ultimatums are what gives him the most control over others even if he has no real power, so it’s important people fear what he could do or what he would be willing to do, rather than what he actually will.
“sapnap actually visited dream in prison and dream seemed to care more about using sapnap to get to ranboo then sapnap himself. ouch.”
have they. have they not watched the video where c!dream spends the first like 98% writing in a book about how he wants c!sapnap and c!george to come visit him again and trying to convince c!sapnap he can get better and be let out and meet again? where he only asks for c!sapnap to deliver the message like half a minute before the end? where are they getting this info from? because this is outrageously incorrect, i’m sorry but what even lead you to that conclusion?
“i am actually fully on board with the idea that dream lied, and that he does still miss and care about his friends! i consider often (because i like angst lol)! when dream finally gets his pov, we might learn about this. because we don’t know what he’s thinking. he could be missing them every second for all we know! it could all be one master plan to make them like him, or save them, or something. dream is innocent until proven guilty. as far as we can tell, he wasn’t lying. and he did cut off his friends.”
i think from everything that’s happened before and after the scene it is obvious he does in fact care about them. he did emotionally isolate himself, he did “cut himself off” (moreso by not reaching out than actually doing anything for himself), yes, but that doesn’t mean he wanted to or that it didn’t hurt him.
“even if it turns out he actually loves them, he still treated them awfully by abandoning them as he did”
i… don’t remember that happening, i’ll be honest. they left him and they never came back, so it’s much more on them than it is on c!dream that their relationship fell apart, although he technically could’ve tried harder. however, that’s only c!sapnap and c!george - he still proved to care about c!punz during before the finale, and even during the prison he still shows attachment to c!techno.
i could give examples of him caring about his friends, and will if asked (that’d take a while because there is a lot of canon evidence but honestly it’d just make me very happy so i wouldn’t mind), but in general it’s not that difficult to see that he… does care about people, as hard as that is to believe, and yes, he did hurt them indirectly because it hurts to see people who used to be important to you spiral to the point of doing terrible things, but i wouldn’t say he made c!sapnap feel terrible, especially during the prison visit when c!dream is very obviously Going Through It.
also i highly dislike the anon’s attitude. there’s no need to be that aggressive, like what the hell dude. everyone can have their own interpretations and opinions. in my eyes, this is sort of biased and partially incorrect, but maybe let people exist on the internet.
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hello :)
fishbowl!!!
BEFORE YOU FOLLOW: hey if you’ve got a blank blog with no layout/description people will probably report you as a bot and block you so please give yourself a profile picture and a proper blog title and description thanks lol
i do not like dream i will probably block blogs on the dteam side of tumblr 👍🏽
[ID: a pink banner with polka dots by @/ cannosoup.
the text has been edited and it reads, “C!BEEDUO.” in white bubble font with a black text outline, and below the text says, “E-B BLUR + IRL shippers DNI!” the banner features a drawing of Tubbo from Dream SMP on the left, and Ranboo on the right. end ID]
banner
[ID: a banner by @/ relaxxattack with a colour gradient going from green on the left, then blue, then purple, then pink, and finally fading into red on the right.
the banner features Ranboo’s minecraft skin on the left, and Tubbo’s minecraft skin on the right.
in between ranboo and tubbo, there is white text with a black outline that says, “Dream SMP is a fictional series where youtubers write & roleplay as characters. I am not headcanoning and writing analysis and plot predictions about real life people.” end ID]
banner
(and im certainly not shipping any real people)
[ID: a green banner by @/ metfell that says, “this user’s life is forever changed because of bishop’s knife trick by bovinedaemon.”
on the left of the banner is a drawing by relaxx-attack of the characters ran aetherman and jackie brackett sitting on a motorbike.
jackie is sitting at the front, leaning over the handle and ran is sitting at the back holding a gun. end ID]
banner
[ID: a screenshot from a minecraft in-game chat. the message is a whisper from Ranboo and it says, “Ranboo whispers to you: mess him up bb.” end ID]
[ID: a screenshot from a minecraft in-game chat. the screenshot shows four messages from TommyInnit. three of the messages repeat, “FUCK YOU!!!” and the final one says, “it’s okay tommy. you’re going to be okay.” end ID]
[ID: a post by @/ tubbobot that says “i dunnit care so...” end ID]
[ID: a minecraft screenshot of Dream SMP character Tubbo Underscore looking down at his son Michael, who is a zombified piglin.
michael is gazing up at tubbo, and holding a gold sword. Tubbo is wearing enchanted netherite armour. to the left of tubbo is a chicken. end ID]
[ID: a minecraft photo of new l’manberg from the dream SMP during the night.
the picture shows a set of wooden houses standing by each other, red, white, and blue lanterns hanging in the sky, a red-white-and-blue hot air balloon floating in the top left, and eret’s tower is at the centre of the image, behind the houses.
at the bottom of the image is white block text with a black outline that reads, “I miss her.” end ID]
^_^, :], :/, :D, :3 :(((, !!, o(-( <- my best friends
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Noo im not disappointed at u, relaxx chill ;333 Ik how it feels when u write something but the character is just 2 ooc 4 u tho :"))
Thank you so much for understanding it, dear anon🥺💕💕💕 Now I wanna hug and love you more! *jumps on you*💕
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Ive seen your fic and your starters! I love this page so much <3 But curious if you write headcanons? Maybe involving Charles, Arthur, Javier and Micah? =^_^= OOH! Maybe about how they hear reader singing alone and he/she has a beautiful voice? Fluffy moment teehee.
( I can do that for sure! Unfort I dont fancy Micah enough to write him tho 😰😅😅 im sorry. I portray him so much as a villian its hard to realistically see him as a fluff kind of character. Next time tho maybe!! Maybe am angst post?)
Arthur Morgan
Arthur had caught you humming to yourself from time to time around camp whilst you did your chores.
He always tried to catch the tune you’d be humming but could never catch it.
At night whenever the gang would happily be singing a shanty, their were times he’d notice you happily humming along.
He tries singing along which makes you giggle at him at the mere fact the man CANNOT sing along to save his life.
He’d get flustered but notice you werent better.
He would assume you never knew any of the words and would just hum to spare yourself from attempting to sing. Dont worry, he wont sing often either.
One day as hes riding back to camp. He’ll notice you aint around.
At first, he wont be worried. He’ll go about his tasks as normal.
Some time passes and he starts to worry, so he’ll search for you. Asking around camp.
After the men tease him for worrying so much, Mary-Beth will assure him your fine and point the deriction your in.
Thanking the woman, he’ll go and check up on you to make sure your fine.
As he gets close, he’ll slow down upon hearing a soft beautiful voice.
As he approaches quietly, he spots you, and realizes the owner of such a voice. Is YOU
Without interrupting you, he’ll lean on a tree and simply listen to you sing.
Your pouring your heart out it seems, and he cant help but feel his heart flutter at how happy you seem.
He also notices your dancing at the same time.
Once your done, you turn around and nearly jump, startled by the pressence of the man and question how long he’d been standing there.
In a cocky smug grin, he’ll shrug and pretend to look at his pocket watch.
“ A good five minutes, didnt know you could sing like that, darling”
He’ll laugh at your attempts to playfully punch him, but unfortanetly for you he’ll grab both your wrists and just laugh a bit at your attempts and at how flustered you are.
You calm however when he reassures you that he wont tell a soul at camp.
The catch is, he wouldnt mind hearing your voice again real soon~
Charles Smith
Charles has heard you only a few times mumbling words in poem.
He’ll notice you tend to quietly talk to yourself whilst your doing chores or while your drawing in your journal. ( You quietly singing)
Sometimes he doesnt mind when he offers help, that your humming quietly to yourself. So, to catch you off gaurd, he’ll hum to.
When he does this, you shy away and seem to keep to yourself.
He seems to take interest in you when join the other gang members in a shanty, youre drunk so your not singing at your best. But the fact how happy it makes you, makes him more interested.
He’s suspicious at the fact how well you know the words and grows curious if you grew up with the songs.
One day, hes resting outside of camp by a large rock that hides him well.
This is a spot he is certain no one else knows of seeing he doesnt like to be bothered by most of the gang. Unless its Arthur or you of course.
He is so sure no one knows his spot, so as he slowly falls asleep. He nearly jumps when he hears a soft alluring voice closeby.
The voice relaxxes him as he peeks around the corner of his hidden spot, that is covered by bushes to see you.
Your sitting happily on a small log as you are singing
He is unsure how to approach the situation he’s in so he’ll let you sing to your hearts content.
After awhile, he notices you sing a song he’s familiar with and..he unconciously starts to sing along quietly
But when he realizes your no longer singing, he’ll turn to only be greeted by a bright blushy you.
The two of you are quiet for a moment before he breaks the awkward silence.
“ In my deffense, i was here first, songbird”
You cant help but get flustered but simply giggle at his petname.
The two of you often come to this spot together now to harmonize in some songs, and he even teaches you a few songs of his tribe!
Javier Escuella
Javier is often playing his guitar or singing his songs around camp.
One day, when he isnt playing, he’ll notice your quietly singing one of the songs he wrote.
He wont approach you, but he is thrilled to see youve taken interest in his singing.
But now the man is curious if you can sing yourself.
For the next week, he’ll play certain songs to see which ones you enjoy. Making mental notes which to do more often.
One night, he’ll hear you speaking some lyrics off to yourself.
Its a song YOU loved judging by how happy it made you.
A special night, when he catches you with the others around the campire, he’ll purposely play thesong you sang the other day.
He cant help but smile when he sees your blush at the realization.
He listened.
You thank him for playing the song but be quick to run off as a baffled mess.
He’d assume he embarrassed you and would let you spend time away from him.
He’ll one day go and find a place to play his guitar but he hears a voice that is angelic.
Curious, he follows the voice outside of camp and spots you right away as your sitting atop a rock.
He gets an idea and lets you get into the moment.
Once he knows your in your moment, he’ll start to play his guitar which at first startles you but, he reasures you its ok as he continued to play.
At first, hesitant, you cotninue to sing as he played the melody on his guitar which seems to brighten your day up even more.
After the song is done you cant help but blush and once again thank Javier for playing the song on his guitar. But ask him how he found you.
“ Mi amor, you’d have to be a fool to not follow such an angelic voice. Tu voz es muy preciosa!” (You voice is very precious)
His positive reinforcment helps you grow confident to often sing by his side at camp. A treat for everyone with two such beautfiul voices.
#arthur morgan#rdr2#red dead redemption two#red dead redemption imagine#van der linde gang#ask arthur morgan#john marston#rdr2 community#charles smith#camp shenanigans#javier escuela#arthur response#low honor arthur morgan#red dead redemption arthur#javier rdr#rdr2 spoilers#rdr2 scenery
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so people were saying that relaxx was 'breaking cc boundries' and 'writing blood libel' both of which aren't true btw. relaxx tried reaching out and tried so hard to stay within boundries and the blood libel thing was because people thought that missing children was relaxx writing antisemetic which is like the biggest reach i've ever seen? are you going to tell me that every single story about missing children is antisemetic? no because that's an excuse to attack something and feel morally right about it
i feel really sorry for relaxx :( people r dicks
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the first chapter of the first thing i've written in ages is finally up :') please enjoy:
Red Scissors of Fate
and happy valentines day!!! 💘❤️💓💔💕💖💗💝💞♥️💌❣️
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Feb 2021 Wins
1 - osce study with clara almira, tryout 9 fkui, tryout review with clar, study sesh with clara that finished at about 10 pm. watched some youtube vids together til 11:15 pm. no longer sleepy, so i made my cv and finished it at about 3 in the morning lmao, bcs i saw this interning opportunity and i was like “damn i should make my cv”
2 - woke up at 7 am, didnt shower lmao, off to kiara for vaccination. Waited for a bit and i finally got it. ate mamdaging pesto rice with beef at kamkan w/ ren ness ara akisyah. talked at studied osce a bit. waited for mom to pick me up. until when do i need someone else to pick me up. i feel helpless and i hate that i cant just ride my motorbike because its too tiring. went back and dad got mad at me bcs i didnt greet him when leaving and entering the house. I truly didnt see him when i entered even though i heard sumn lmao. He said sumn along the lines of "you can always leave if u dont like me" (which is lowkey appealing). I cried bcs i felt sad and annoyed with our terrible emotional parent-daughter relationship. Hold the tears for a bit to study with clara. Darkened the room and slept still in my going-out clothes. I did not shower today lmao,,,,
3 - woke up at 10 am. Tryout and review w clara. Psych coaching. Psych practice with irun. Called lau and dajen bcs hes leving to medan. Randomly checked my email and my intern submission, which i emailed yesterday, that turns out the doctor replied at 8pm yesterday asking for interview today 11 am. And i saw it @ 6 pm. Aka super late. The stupidest thing ive ever done in FKUI. No cap. :( i panicked and it gave me a reason to talk with dad (asking how to reply) so i guess its a form of effort to banish the awkwardness between us. Studied w clara. I hope the doctor can forgive me. Its one loose end after the other lately.
4 - went to starbucks with atikah. got treated matcha latte yayy. cicil osce. called clara to learn imunisasi. went to kaleyo w atikah clara, ate bebek muda cabe ijo yumm. talked abt a lot of things in a span of 1-2 hours. we’re all pragmatist lmaoo.
5 - osce briefing, DV osce practice w irun, watched run bts again lmaoo since knowing my osce schedule is thursday. read buku osce biru.
6 - slept and lazed around til 1 pm. went to flavola since the construction was so noisy. osce simulation with UKMPPD Wibu. turns out flavola’s siomay is very fulfilling.
7 - todays construction noise escape is jco. Bought jcool double with almonds and chocolate crunchy. A bit of psych practice w aisyah. After maghrib practiced neuro w irun
8 - had no mood to study in the morning. Went to flavola, kopsusss coklat as usual. Reviewed osce materials (theres some tea about what might come out). Reviewed again at home (even tho i procrastinated from 6-9pm). Asked my bro for some ovo bcs i bought a mini keyboard in tokped lmaoooooo so random
9 - went to merra (ara and nessa’s place) but mom drove dad to the airport first. stome osce study, group consolidation for osce, tried mad bagel (the garlic cream cheese and tuna salad). the bagel was quite dense and fulfilling. the garlic cream cheese is quite heavy. arrived at home by 9 pm, went straight to sleep
10 - omg dr eva contacted me again :”) and i got the chance to be ecmocard research assistant. osce study. line call with ara. matcha latte. studied in juan’s room bcs it was so noisy. the keyboard i ordered arrived lolll cant wait to try. i dont know if its the anxiety or fear but i cant sleep and forced myself to sleep 11pm-ish
11 - osce. Went early to learn sumn more w ara tri. Osce (i forgot opv for the 5 mo old baby in peds station 😭 there was dr yogi omg) prayed zuhur and ashar in merra while waiting for pick up (i rly wish i could just bring my own vehicle but motorbike is rly tiring). Finally tried the mini keyboard, with earphones on. Practiced the song aku bukan untukmu by rossa lmao bu sihar taught us that in 33. I felt rly excited and not sleepy afterwards (that "normal" feeling with nothing looming). Its been a while since i tried something new, voluntarily. I guess its kind of what i felt when i tried the korean duolingo. That lasted for a couple months. Lets see how this keyboard thingy goes
12 - finally finished reviewing to oneshot (took ages lmao). Lazed around
13 - inten ukmppd w ness ren ara @ merraaa always. Went through 5 pdfs. Tried fastfit chicken burger and sweet potato fries. Quite fulfilling. Went back home and straight to bed (didnt eat anymore)
14 - started my day late as usual on weekdays lmaoo. flavola kopsus coklat as usual at my usual seat facing the window. did padi final tryout, score: 69. booty call with fianti, did mindset tryout, got 76,5.
15 - lazed tilll i start my day as usual @ 11-ish. Reviewed to padi final answers. Wow it sure took some damn time. My attention span is rly horrible when im alone in my room
16 - second dose of vaccine today. the rain was POURING. mom and emir waited in mcd. read half of aipki citation.
17 - finished aipki citation, read CBT 2020 batch I and 2019 batch III questions. read a fantastic slow burn dramione fic. reviewed the last to solid.
18 - accompanied clara for swab antigen near airport train station (we came with motorbike since clara’s car was used). got called over by the police bcs we were in the car-only road lmaooo. went over optima tryout 2021.
19 - cicil ukmppd at flavola with the usual menu, read some more afterwards
20 - ended up going to tamel bcs the flood in tb simatupang toll. Stayed w nessa and henny. Ate garlic carbonara spaghetti by bittersweet najla. Quite good for the price. Went over mediko questions with nessa and first session citation. Atikah sent some krispy kreme donuts 🥺🥺
21 - woke up at 4 bcs henny and nessa already did. Ate cold kanayam for bfast. Did ukmppd. I flagged quite a lot of questions huaa. I hope i can pass, aamiin. Went to tamel to get stuff (nebeng oca uye), climbed jembor to get to akis et al. Went to aeon (super crowded tffff), followed by ikea (parked at decathlon). Ate at both places (shared portion w kris lmaoo we get full quick). Aeon sushi and ikea meatball. So fulll. Went out of ikea to be briefed by dr Debby (ecmocard) and put my stuff to mom's car. Went in ikea again. And finally we went back. such a good sleep yall
22 - relaxed and i mean RELAXXXED. woke up and slept again. showered to prepare to go to harkit for intern briefing. i was late (thanks daan mogot road) and had to grabbike from untar. put on some sheet mask (natrep rose) bcs im realizing i need to fix my face and look decent for this new environment lmaoo.
23 - left home at 7 am, went through highway (i aint repeating daan mogot tragedy again). walked a bit backwards bcs the hightway exit was infront of dharmais. super slow progress on entering medical datas. took half a day to get one. and another half for the other. ate marugame udon, somay, chicken katsu and otak otak. we finished after maghrib and im writing this while waiting for mom
24 - tried salted egg dori rice from salt inc. its quite salty and eneg inducing (a bit more than eatlah), but for the price (19k after cashback) i wont complain. Went back home before maghrib but there was still some medical record stuff i did in my room.
25 - magang as usual. Tried chicken egg salad from salad hut. Bought ice french hazelnut coffee from lawson coz i just cant take it anymore (the slump and sleepyness). I feel like the moment that sugary beverage enters my system i rise like a freshly watered plant. First meeting with dr eva and the others
26 - felt so tired even in the morning. Its 9 am and im already ordering janjiw coffee (with hazelnut and milo, quite sweet. Like a mix of kopiko and milo). Slow progress today i dunno why. Lunch is nayam rica2 and egg for 21k. Went back home by tj and mom picked me at gajah 2
27 - i hate to say this but bcs for 5 days now ive been fighting sleeping instincts, i snap out of sleepiness easier in the morning. Nasi uduk for brekkie. Moved some stuff up bcs the noise, played keyboard. Learned the (difficult) chords to tyler's see you again and im feeling satisfied. Went to racheel's place. Got fed chicken noodle. And then off to silvi's with devi also. Got fed chicken rice and dimsum. Thanks to friends im eating superwell today🥺
28 - relaxed at home. Skipped breakfast bcs i fell asleep and ate heartily in the afternoon. Evening run w racheel at citra 6
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Dead Evan Hansen AU
@totally-not-using-a-fake-name yelled in our gm one day about an AU where Evan’s suicide was successful but he becomes a ghost. And then him finding Connor in the woods trying to kill himself and stopping him. So, as per usual, we wrote it, with @just-musicals throwing in a thought every once in a while or screaming at us for hurting her boys.
@monsterunderthefedora is writing a fic based on this AU, go check it out and read it! It’s really awesome!
Bold is @totally-not-using-a-fake-name, Italics is @just-musicals, and Regular is me ( @nyancheetosmusical )
Attempted suicide and a fair amount of self-loathing occur, so here’s your warning if you need one
connor was out in the forest to do it himself
and he's trying to do it
and like
there’s this kid there
who's trying to talk to him
it's like looking at a blurry photograph
the kid is kinda there, kinda not
...probably just the traz doing its job
"n-n, st-stoppp!"
....he recognized that voice
just a little bit
and Evan is watchiong this kid keep poppin pills in front of him
and he doesn't know what comes over him
but he just like
pushes at Connor
and all of a sudden Connor throws up
all these half-dissolved pills
and connor has no idea wth just happened
but he's feelin woozy
and now really frustrated
cause he screwed up killing himself, too
couldn't he do anything right?
but Evan stays there and trys to comfort him as best he can
he can't really touch him
but Connor gets this kind of warm sensation
like an electric blanket
Evan is trying to wipe away his tears
and connor in his half aware state freaks out
this strange hand kind of passes through his face but it leaves behind a warm sensation and it gently pulls the tears with it
"-w-ww-wha-what i-is...."
Connor eventually passes out for a bit
his body has to try and recover
but he wakes up and this kid is still there
he sits up very self-consciously
"...what do you want"
"a-are you okay, Connor?
"'m fine. why do you care"
he pulls his hood over his face
he doesn't feel strong enough to stand up but he’s frustrated and embarrassed
this kid he doesn't know watched him try to kill himself ....who was this kid anyway?
"J-just leave me alone, alright? I'm fine "
Evan really does want to go, this makes him so nervous
and you know
he thought when he died he was going to be done with his troubles
but he's dead and still anxious
(I had to leave for a bit but I had a thought that I got very excited about)
EVAN IS ABLE TO TAKE CONTROL OVER SMOL PLANTS
SO LIKE CONNOR IS HAVING A BAD DAY AND SITTINNG GRUMPY IN THE FOREST LIKE ANY STONER BOY DOES
AND HE TOLD EVAN TO LEAVE HIM ALONE AND EVAN DOES
BUT THEN
ONE OF THE LITTLE VINES BY HIS FEET REACHES UP AND GENTLY BRUSHES HIS ANKLE
AND ITS LIKE PETTING HIM
"...dude stop"
but he doesnt
and the vine very carefully wraps around his ankle, like a little hug
and then around connor the other vines very gently do the same
just a ton of tiny hugs
one literally hugs the drawstring on his hoodie
and one reaches up and pats his face
okay I'm gonna add this because why not
so connor is sitting there really sad and evan is having a hard time trying to cheer him up, and connor just gets upset and tells him to "leave me alone"
and evan just walks off and connor is sitting there
and now that evan is gone...he realizes how much he wanted someone to stick around
and be there for him for once
and now he's just sitting in the forest with his knees pulled in because he keeps messing everything up
then he hears some footsteps and he looks up
and evan has this flower in his hands
"I-I I don't know if you like these, but-"
and connor just takes it and holds it in his hands
He's quite. Evan thinks he made matters even worse and waits for the anger to come back
But Connor just sadly smiles, "Thanks."
Later he tucks it into his hair subconsciously
And Evan is just standing there smiling for once
And eventually
They actually start talking
The first time Connor cones to the woods and doesn't get high
And thinks that Evan won't be there
Because Evan can control plants and disappear and normal people can't do that
So he thinks Evan's a hallucination from the drugs
But there's Evan
Waiting for him
And he's like... okay... Not the drugs then...
Which makes him freak out
freaks out that he freaked connor out
Because this kid can do some weird stuff and if it's not the drugs, then is he just crazy?
But once the initial freak out wears off, he and Evan vhat like normal
and it's nice because Connor can actually hold a conversation when he's sober
And this goes on for many many days, weeks
And over that time, Evan's support has helped Connor improve
But.
One day
Connor and Larry have a big fight.
And Connor gets very high
And goes into the forset
Way deeper than he ever has before
And he stops at this big tree
And sees someone lying at the base of it
And he sees the shirt and thinks,
So he walks up
And shakes the lump
And he stops
Because something is not right
And he's really regretting the high because he can't tell what it is
So he rolls Evan over and screams.
Because what was wrong is that the figure was too stiff and too cold and the neck was too slack
And the green eyes that he's leaned to associate with excited rambling about trees or tentative moments of affection are glazed and staring at nothing
And there's moss and grass entangling the arms and the legs
And the mouth is slack and gaping like the boy had been gasping for air when it...
dies
And Connor is screaming because the plants have grown over Evan and the bod is cold and stiff and must have been there for MONTHS
He just screams and screams
"EVAN!"
"EVAN EVAN EVAN"
And he's not thinking straight but he sure as heck knows something is up
It won't stop raining or maybe he's crying
Who knows
The color of Evans dead eyes begins to spill out. Slowly it's like a pattern
Dead, glazed over irises watch over Connor from everywhere
Connor can't move
The smell of a dead body is horrible
But he can't find the strength to roll over
WHY WONT IT STOP RAINING
EVANS GETTING ALL WET
HE MIGHT CATCH A COLD AND
and
...die
Oh
Oh gosh
Evans dead
He's dead
He's dead
I wish i was dead
Evan stop looking at me
You can see too much of me
Stop
Stop
You won't like what you see
No one does
There's been a dull pounding underlying this whole moment
Maybe it's his heartbeat
Maybe his screams
The forest floor is grabbing at him
Like Evan was here
But it's not
Because I'm just high cause I can't stand myself sober
Because I'm a broken trash bag
I wonder if evan could see me
Would he hate what he saw too
The dull thudding gets stronger and stronger
Its
It's not thudding
It's words
Whose words
Good maybe his dad found him
Maybe his dad would finally give up on him
If he could see him like this
...
Yep
Definitely his name being called
It's so cold
Like ice cubes
He wished he could swallow an ice cube
Choke on it
See how long it took to melt
Would he die first or would it melt
"-NOR!! CO-"
That
That wasn't his dad's voice
The eyes were back
They were blurred, like an old photograph
"CONNOR P-...PLEASE..."
The crack in the voice shattered a canyon in the rock choking Connor
he should chip his way out
that voice
the rock was so thick
how could he hear
but he wanted to hear
it had been a while since his name had been said and it meant good things
dig dig dig
oh hey
he wasn't in a rock at all
just in the mud
trying to move
trying to see who was there
collapsed on Evan-
Evan
because Evan was-
"Connor, please, I can't...."
his throat felt like sandpaper
he should probably stop screaming
"C-connor, j-just relaxx a bit, okay? Please?"
the voice was crying
he wanted to listen
maybe he should
yeah
it'd be easier than trying to move
lets relax a bit
connor let go
he felt himself flop back onto the ground as if he was pulled
the impact on his skull shook
...it was a pleasant distraction from the eyes floating around all fuzzy like
a new pair of eyes joined them
these had a face
they were green like Evan's
but so were the rest of the eyes
The eyes weren't just Evan's
the face was his too
but this one looked more alive
"Th-thank you...j-just lay there for a bit, okay? L-let it wear off"
and a warm sensation spread through Connor
it didn't feel normal
like
if a heated blanket gave you a hug
that's what it would feel like
if connor closed his eyes, the other eyes went away
so he closed his eyes and let himself be
he eventually comes to
the high has mostly worn off
he sits up
and tears off a layer of grass and vines
....like a blanket that had been grown over him
he's incredibly dizzy
but eventually is able to see straight
there's Evan
sitting
watching
waiting
"-E-evan....you're....you're..."
evan has to look away
...somehow he had had the courage to stop Connor that day
but couldn't stop himself
good going Evan
"yeah, I'm....yeah."
"isss that why you can...you know, and we can't touch?"
Evan shrinks into himself a bit
Connor had been the one thing that had made being stuck here worth it
otherwise he stayed in this forest and relived falling and falling and falling over and over and over and over
“...yeah...I d-don't get it. I'm j-just here...and I can't-"
he heard a yelp of pain
he looks to see Connor have grabbed his own arm, only to feel the bruises there
oh no
he had hoped he had discovered those at home...
connor rolled back his sleeve
bruises twisted down his arm
strange spiraled patterns
almost like...
vines
"I'msosorryIdidn'twanttodoitbutyouwerejustgoingtoandididntwantandthen-"
connor looked up at Evan
The boy looked afraid to come close
but he could tell ghost kid wanted to
"slow down, what happened?"
...could ghosts even cry?
"You...you were..." Evan took a breath to steady himself
"you started to...to scratch at yourself, at your arms, a-and then you started to scratch the tree, a-and you were hurting yourself and I couldn't..."
"I didn't want you t-to do that"
"s-so I tried to hold you back b-but um but you were re-real strong n stuff"
"I didn't I didn't realize how h-hard I pulled...I'm sorry..."
Evan had
Evan had tried to stop him
Connor thought of all the times he had been in his room
alone
hurting
something clearly being wrong
someone at the door asking if everything was fine
a "yes" meaning no help me
but the someone at the door couldn't be bothered to notice
and so the hurt stayed
but evan
evan had tried to stop
he had seen connor at his worst
he had been insulted and hated and attacked by Connor over and over
and yet
he had stayed
stayed to help a stoned kid from ripping himself apart
....for someone very dead, it was the most human interaction Connor had in months
he looked at the brusies running up and down his arms
"....thank you."
Evan stared in shock
a
a thank you?
from Connor Murphy?
hardly daring to hope, Evan got a bit closer
he wanted to help, he wanted any human contact, anything
Connor didn't say no when Evan got closer
They sat together
both broken
thinking about their own deaths
and wondering
why had they not found each other sooner
but they were there for each other now at least
Connor eventually looked up at Evan
"...Why do you just stay here?"
Evan looked away
"...where would I go?"
"I...I dont want to watch my mother try and cope."
"I don't have any friends"
"I don't want to think about who I was"
"If I just stay here, all I can really think about is dying...at least it's better than thinking about me...."
....connor determined that ghosts could indeed cry
"what if you came home with me?"
wait
why did he say that
evan looked over
["Wh-what? Y-you mean, like-"
Connor looked away, slightly embarrased
but also hurt
why did showing kindness feel so strange?
was he really that...bad?
"You just seem kinda lonely out here. You're also kinda...dead, how many people can see you?"
"....only one person."
Connor looked over in surprise
"really? who?"
Evan looked back, confused
"...you."
oh
duh
"whu....anyway, your're probably lonely or something, i don't know, so....if you want, my house isn't great, but maybe it's better than the forest...?"
Evan looked excited for a moment, but then looked away
"I don't actually know if I can leave...I tried before, when I first...woke up, I guess, and I couldn't leave. I've been stuck here."
Evan wanted to leave the forest
he really did
he was tired of looking at his body rot day by day
watching his mistake be buried under forest growth
but could he?
He knew Connor had a rough home
but anywhere would be better than here
please, just let him leave...
"come on, we can try anyway, can't we? A-at least walk me out of here, I don't really know where I am."
Well, Evan could do that
they didn't talk much as Evan lead him through the woods
they talked a bit about their favorite bands
quoted some songs
Evan told some jokes he remembered
they were all dumb and stupid but Connor found them so dumb they were funny
they take in the view
there's only trees
forever and ever
they focus on each other
they begin to dream
imagining the future
what would they do? (...if they had one…)
Bike the Appalachian trail? Write a book? Learn to sail?
heh, that’d be cool
they've slowed their walking
Evan knows they're close to edge of the woods
and so does connor
but Connor just stops
and he takes a breath
letting the world around him go still
and he opens his eyes and looks at Evan"just...thank you. Things have been so....you know, and honestly....right now, there's nowhere else I'd rather be"
Evan feels his stomach drop
"m-me too."
"w-well, I mean I-I wish I w-was still alive and and you know um but I um-"
he stops as Connor laughs a little
"what?"
"This whole situation....it's just so....so strange"
"I'm trying to bring my only friend home so he doesn't have to live in this creepy a forest 24/7 cause he's a ghost and also does cool things with plants"
Evan gasps a little
" you think plants are cool? "
Connor laughs again
he forgot how good it feels to laugh
"yeah, sure. Come on, I don't really want to go home, but I'm hungry."
hey walk the rest of the way to the edge of the forest in silence
they arrive
He looks over at Evan
"wanna see if you can, you know...."
"y-you first, okay?"
Connor shrugs and steps out of the forest
he turns around
"alright, come on, I think there's a bit of milk left and I am craving some milk right now"
Evan is nervous
well when is he not
but he's extra nervous
because he had let himself hope
and now his hopes could easily be crushed
he steps forward
...and doesn't go anywhere
he tries again
nothing
he is still stuck in this forest
this god damned stupid forest
this was purgatory and it was full of the thing Evan thought he'd loved the most
and now he was surrounded by his poor choices forever
he looked up
he could barely see the sky through the tree cover
branches and leaves for forever
he was trapped
no hope
no future
just a dead kid in a forest
Wonderful
Just
wonderful
he probably deserved it to
the world is meant for people who are smart and social and intelligent and kind
not losers like Evan Hansen
He looked out at Connor
so close
but so far
and shook his head
"I....I can't"
Connor felt something inside him break a little
Evan looked so hurt
"what-no. That's bullshit"
"I don't care what the laws of the universe are or whatever"
"You're not staying in there, you're coming with me"
Evan shook his head
"I can't Connor, I c-can't! I'm trying but I but but I can't!...J-just go home, okay? I will, I'll be here when you when you come back"
Connor took a step towards Evan
"Yeah, well, I don't want that, and you don't want that either-"
"WHO CARES WHAT I WANT? NO ONE ELSE DID!" Evan quickly shut his mouth
Connor didn't need to hear that
and right when he was so close to a breakdown too....
Evan needed to let him leave
"Just go, please, you need you need to g-go home, a-and rest."
Connor took another step
"I'm not coming if you're not"
Evan looked helplessly at him
"I I can't-"
"I don't care that you can't! You're gonna come with me!"
"Why why do you care so much about a dead kiddd in a in a forest, Connor? I c-can't do anything for for you!"
"YES YOU CAN!"
Connor knew he was yelling but didn't stop
"YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO GIVES A DAMN AND I’M SO TIRED OF WAKING UP AND WISHING I HADN’T AND YOU MAKE THAT FEELING GO AWAY, I’M TIRED OF BEING SO UNHAPPY, SO P-...please, j-...just....I want you to-to help me...."
He turned away to hide his tears
he hated crying in front of people
Evan was quicker
he stepped forward and tried to wipe the tears from Connor's face
like the first time they met when Connor had tried to overdose
his hand passed through Evan's face
leaving behind a warm feeling
and the tears were gently pulled away with his hand
they stared at each other
Connor looked down
"...Evan"
"Connor, please go, I can't help you-"
"EVAN!"
Evan flinched
he was not a fan of yelling
but connor wasn't angry
he was excitedly pointing at Evan's feet
"Look!"
evan looked down
they were standing in the street
behind them was the forest
he began to laugh, relieved
he
he was out
he looked up
there was the sky
it stretched on for forever
beautiful
open
speckled with stars as the sun began to set
it felt as if a haze had been lifted from his mind
n his mind he no longer heard himself screaming over and over
he no longer felt the dropping feeling in his stomach of falling
the wind racing past
the impact on the ground
he had learned to tune it out, but the feeling of dying over and over... it was finally gone
he felt so much...free-er
he looked at connor
and connor
connor murphy
he
HE WAS SMILING???
SINCE WHEN DID CONNOR SMILE???
He noticed Evan watching him with wonder and tried to look away and wipe the smile off his face
it was still there a bit
Connor had seen a change take place in Evan as he stood before him
He became more...ghostly
more transparent, a bit blurred, but still there
but at the same time
he was clearer
it was as if the Evan he had been looking at in the forest had been behind a layer of static
and now he was fully there
it was weird
but good
"were um, were you gonna go home and and get some milk?"
Dang, he couldn't keep the smile off his face
"yeah. Let's go do that"
and off walked Connor, his friend only a step behind
home might be rough
but at least he had someone with him
Walking into the house hit something inside Evan
It was Connor's house, not his own, but the concept of walking through a door seemed so foreign at this point
There were no doors in the forest
The house was lit, but quiet. There was some sort of muffled music coming from upstairs and talking coming from somewhere, but it was hard to place where.
Connor slunk through the house, his boots trekking mud on the carpet, but he didn't really care. He was too busy watching Evan
Evan who was looking at the floor under his feet and the ceiling above his head with a mixture of fear and awe.
"Hey, Evan?"
The ghost turned, there was a shiny glaze on Evan's eyes.
"You okay?"
"I just- I didn't- I never thought I'd get to walk into a house again... I thought I'd- I thought I was gonna be trapped there forever and I just...."
Connor smiled sadly.
"C'mon.nLet's go get that milk."
Connor padded into the kitchen, Evan following with gleaming eyes and a big smile on his face.
Connor honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd been so glad to be home.
He pulled the milk out of the fridge and glanced at the cupboard where they kept the cups before shooting Evan a mischievous look.
Evan gave a shocked laugh as Connor started drinking straight from the carton.
Suddenly, there were footsteps.
A door opening.
"Where have you been young man?"
Damnit.
Good feelings gone.
Connor turned around to face his father
"Why do you care?"
His father bristled
Are you going t-"
He stopped at a hand on his shoulder
His wife had come down too
"Connor, honey, what your father means is where have you been? We've been worried about you"
Connor snorted
Yeah right
Worried about him
It's not like they ever even took their eyes off Zoe
they probably didn't notice he was gone
He went to say as much when he saw Evan step out into his field of vision
He looked almost scared
...scared of who?
Connor?
...he was getting angry for no reason again
He took a breath
"I just...I needed some time to think, okay?"
"Pft, more like you needed some time to smoke-"
"Larry! Not now!"
His father grunted and looked away before turning around and marching back up the stairs
Connor watched him go
Good riddance
To his surprise, his mom came close and gave him a tentative hug
"Sweetie, we were...a little worried about you, you were gone a lot longer than we thought"
"...yeah. Uh...."
Evan leaned in close to Connor awkwardly standing in his mothers hug
"M-maybe say you're sorry?"
Connor looked over, surprised
sorry for what?
But the way evan nodded at him just made Connor slip out a small "sorry", just loud enough for his mother to hear
He felt her shock at the word
But then hugged him tighter
...how long had it been since he had said sorry?
She pulled back and Connor saw her eyes a little wet
"You're here now, okay?"
"Yeah, I guess..."
She took one more look at her son before heading back up the stairs
Connor stood in shock
The combination of the easy resolution with his father and intimate moment with his mother had him in frozen
He saw Evan creep in from the edges of his vision.
"You- That was a good thing to do."
“Hey, it was your idea”
"But you didn't have to do it. It was nice of you, She seemed happy."
"I guess."
Connor and Evan stared at one another for a while, just watching the other and taking in the events of the day.
It had been a busy one.
Their gaze was broken by the grandfather clock in the living room going off,
One chime
It was one in the morning
No wonder his parents were mad.
He crept up the stairs to his room.
Zoe's room was across the hall. Music was seeping out from under the door, but he could hear the muffled snuffling of Zoe snoring too, so she must have fallen asleep with it on.
Connor's mouth twitched. Whether it was to smile of frown, he didn't know.
He slipped into his bedroom and van followed him in. Connor threw off his boots, but opted to stay in his clothes. He was too tired to bother with changing.
Sleep pulled on his eyelids, but he forced them open.
Evan.
What would happen to Evan if he fell asleep?
He watched the ghost staring at his bookshelf, examining the titles there.
After a while, Evan seemed to notice that Connor wasn't sleeping
"Connor! It's late! Err... early. Go to sleep."
"But... What about you?"
Evan seemed surprised. "Me? I'll be... I'll be fine. I spent all that time alone in the forest, I'll last a night."
"No.. I mean, if I was the reason you could leave... If I fall asleep, will you be forced back? Will you still be here when I wake up?"
Evan blinked for a moment
and suddenly was flooded with worry
what
what if he did end up back in the forest?
Back to his body? Where he always seem to 'wake up'?
Connor seemed to be the reason he got out of the forest
could he make him go back?
he tried to hide his anxiety
"o-oh, um , well...I, I don't know, b-but I'll be fine! Y-you need to sleep, please"
Connor shook his head
"but what if you-"
Evan shrugged
"what if I do? You-you'll come and get me."
"...RIGHT?"
Connor chuckled
"of course I will. We'll figure this out, okay?"
Evan put on a brave smile
he was honestly terrified
if he could make connor stay up for as long as possible that would be great
but
he cared too much about connor
connor needed sleep
Evan knew that
anyway, Connor is the one who's still alive here
His needs take priority over any of Evans
"Sleep, alright? W-we'll see what happens."
Connor nodded, but tried to stay awake anyway.
There was a tight bind in his stomach that made him want to squirm
If he fell asleep and Evan went back to that forest...
If he fell asleep and Evan...
Evan...
The next thing he knew, his eyes were snapping open as Zoe pounded on his door.
"-nnor? Connor! Oi! If you aren't up soon I'm leaving without you!
Connor jumped up and looked around
Sunlight was streaming in under his window.
He was in his room
And Evan?
Evan was gone.
Evan was gone
Zoe was banging on the door and Evan was gone
Evan was gone, gone, gone....
Banging
"Connor-"
"SHUT UP!"
Silence.
"Evan?" Connor whispered as he looked around.
He frowned as he saw what looked like a bundle of static in the corner of his room.
He went over and saw the outline of a person curled up in the static.
"Evan? Evan is that-"
"Co- Connor? I can't see... I can't- where are- Connor?"
Connor knelt down
he tried to grab the blur but nothing happened
his hands went right through and smacked the wall
"E-Evan?!"
crap crap crap
can't lose him
what is-
the static was slowly disappearing
but so was evan
"wh-where are you-"
“Connor wh-what's what's what's-
like a broken record, Evan called for help over and over again
nothing Connor could do
and then the world twisted
and connor stood up in a tree
beside...
"Evan?"
but evan seemed to ignore him
he took a deep breath, looked over the edge of the branch, and-
"EVAN-!"
And then Connor was falling, falling, falling, and he tried to scream but he had no voice, and Evan was falling with him and they were both going to crash and die and-
With a start, Connor ripped back and gasped for air
he was on the ground
in his room
what had-
Evan
where
where was Evan
with a near audible pop, Evan appeared in front of him
he looked dazed and scared but almost...bored?
"...you had to feel it too, didn't you?"
(there’s a fair amount more, and we’re still writing stuff for it. But here’s some of it for now)
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About: A famous blogger and her friend. Genre: Contemporary. TW: Mentions of suicide.
Playlist:
Go the distance - Robert Bart
Immortal - Elley Duhé
Don’t Kill My Vibe - Sigrid
//Download as a pdf//
Keep reading to read the story directly on the blog. Feedback is always appreciated.
August 10
11.47 p.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Blog
Anonymous said: Where are you?
Here.
Anonymous said: Where have you been?
I took a break, but I’m back now.
Anonymous said: Kinda though you had been kidnapped my aliens.
I wish.
Anonymous said: Are you okay?
Yeah. I’ll start posting again tomorrow or something.
Anonymous said: We were worried. Remember to drink water.
What the fuck have you guys been smoking? I’m fine. And relaxx, you’ll get your regular dose of conspiracy theories tomorrow. Promise. Peace out.
August 10
11.49 p.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Innbox
Private message from anonymous: Have you finally killed yourself? I fucking hope so. I’m so sick of seeing your ugly blog. Do everybody a big ass favor and NEVER COME BACK.
Private message from anonymous: Really, you just can’t disappear from a famous blog like this. Fucking ungrateful shit. I’m unfollowing, just so you know.
Private message from anonymous: Whore.
Private message from anonymous: I’m going to start following sunnyalienn instead of you. At least she can keep us updated.
August 11
9.15 a.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Blog
Conspiracy theory #107
Theory: According to a transcript and a documentary, Marilyn Monroe was killed because she intended to leak the existence of aliens. Marilyn, according to some people, had an affair with JFK and his brother. The threat is a result of her being ignored by both of them. She probably didn’t know how dangerous the american government was and what kind of resources they used to protect the secret about the existence of alien life on earth.
My opinion: Not one of the most interesting conspiracy theories, but just think for a second what would happen if this was true, and Marilyn hadn’t been killed? Could we have known the truth about life on other planets as early as 1960??
And how scary is it to think about this happening to other celebrities. What the fuck did Elvis, MH and Robin Williams know??
What do you think?
August 11
11.05 a.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Inbox
Theodyssey51: Hey girl, have you seen Alien: Covenant yet? I won’t spoil it, but damn, it’s worth seeing. Are you up to an Alien marathon soon? My boyfriend seriously wants to see all the Lord of the Rings movies. How in the hell did I end up with this idiot? SAVE ME.
nostromojinn: I seriously think you have to break up. Lord of the Rings? LORD OF THE RINGS?? That’s strike one, by the way. Also, wasn’t he the one that made you listen to One Direction?
Theodyssey51: Are you going to kill me if I tell you that Harry Styles’ music isn’t THAT bad? He’s gone solo now if you haven’t heard. All the members have, but Harry Styles is the only one worth listening too. Listen to Sign of the Times. Okay, did I just write a whole paragraph about a pop artist?
Nostromojinn: Yes, sir, you did. Strike two.
August 12
1.05 a.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Blog
Far away
Does anybody feel like they belong somewhere else? That they where meant to be born on a different planet, but then some cosmic disaster happened and you were born here on earth? Maybe that’s why I like everything connected to space and aliens. Because I am one.
Too weird?
I’ll go to bed now.
August 13
2.13 p.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Inbox
Theodyssey51: Have you seen that new blog everyone’s talking about?
nostromojinn: Yeah, what the hell is that? Fan-fiction about us?
Theodyssey51: Looks like it. Someone asked her about it and she didn’t deny it.
nostromojinn: Sick.
Theodyssey51: No it’s cute.
nostromojinn: Is that Vinn person suppose to be me? «It’s seemed like it dripped experience from Vinn’s eyes, like they were too eager to share all the beauty they’d seen.» Don’t think she wants to know what’s really dripping from my eyes.
Theodyssey51: Bile? She mentioned you in her first posts, so it’s probably you she’s writing about.
nostromojinn: Isn’t that kinda weird?
Theodyssey51: Can’t you just take a compliment like a regular person? Now be a cool celebrity and comment on her blog.
nostromojinn: Funny.
Theodyssey51: My character seems fun though. You think Tana is the girl who writes these stories? Maybe she needs friends.
nostromojinn: Maybe she needs a life.
Theodyssey51: You’ve reached you sarcasm limit today. Please try again with a different response.
nostromojinn: (~˘▾˘)~
August 13
5.46 p.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Blog
Conspiracy theory #108
Theory: God was created by aliens that landed on earth for many, many years ago. According to this website: ufointernationalproject.com, it was aliens who created all religions that exists today. The humans are apparently not smart enough to invent religions, and that’s why it’s more likely that aliens created them. And also, they’re headed towards earth right now to take those religions back, and put all humans in quarantine to prevent a cosmic disaster.
My opinion: This is BS. It has to be. Humans have figured out that the universe are made up off quarks, I think we’re smart enough to make up a man in a white dress yelling «LET THERE BE LIGHT!» And I’ve met enough stoned people to know where that «the world is a turtle» - theory stems from. Sorry guys. It was a fun one though.
What do you think?
August 15
11.30 p.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Inbox
Theodyssey51: HEY, guess who just got fucked.
nostromojinn: What? That’s nasty.
Theodyssey51: Ha ha. It’s not me. A friend stopped by with her cat, and we might’ve made kittens! Or our cats have. All i did was put them in a cage and wait until they got so bored and didn’t have any other choice than to mate.
nostromojinn: That’s still nasty. What if we did that to humans?
Theodyssey51: We already do. It’s called SCHOOL!
nostromojinn: I’m so happy we went to different schools.
Theodyssey51: OMG. Have you seen this?
nostromojinn: What?
Theodyssey51: https://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostromojinn
August 15
10.31 p.m
Wikipedia / Nostromojinn
Nostromojinn
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Nostromojinn is a famous blogger who runs nostromojinn.tumblr.com. She frequently blogs about aliens, but also about songs, feelings and every day life.
Origin and name.
Nostromojinn has been blogging for three years and have several thousand followers. The name nostromojinn stems from the ship Nostromo from the movie Alien. The blog’s tagline (In space no one can hear you scream) is from Alien’s tagline (In space no one can hear you scream). She also calls herself Random chick no. 426. Something that probably refers to the planet where the Xenomorphs are from, LV-426.
Personal life
Nobody knows Nostromojinn’s real name or what she looks like.
Links
https://nostromojinn.tumblr.com
August 15
10.35 p.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Inbox
nostromojinn: WHAT THE FUCK? Did you do that?
Theodyssey51: No. I promise! It’s kinda cool, though.
nostromojinn: It’s weird. Like, sooo weird. Who’s interested in reading an article about me??
Theodyssey51: Me. And you.
nostromojinn: Nope. I’m good.
Theodyssey51: Are you going to show your face on your blog soon or what?
nostromojinn: NOOO. How do you figure that’ll go? I can fucking hear all those anonymous bastards. I thought you were prettier. Have you always been this ugly? Now I understand why you didn’t show your face.
Theodyssey51: Fuck those anonymous bastards.
nostromojinn: Easy for you to say.
Theodyssey51: Yeah, i’m an unpopular and unimportant fart.
nostromojinn: Exchange lives?
Theodyssey51: Yes plz.
August 16.
5.25 p.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Blog
Conspiracy theory #109
Theory: I’m not sure if this is an conspiracy theory about aliens, but when I fell down this rabbit whole, I couldn’t stop falling. Okay, so the theory is that there’s an elite (celebrities and presidents and kings and the likes) of reptiles. REPTILES? Yep. They’re shape shifters and apparently they can take human form. And they control the world. And yeah, apparently both Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus are reptiles. Just check out this youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C83f40Z9azM
My opinion: Maybe I’m a reptile? Who knows?
What do you think?
August 17
11.17 a.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Inbox
Theodyssey51: Excuse me, but did you change your bio to random chick no. 427 just to be an ass?
nostromojinn: Wikipedia don’t know shit.
Theodyssey51: And the price for the most petty celebrity is…. You.
nostromojinn: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Theodyssey51: You’re VERY funny.
nostromojinn: ?
Theodyssey51: https://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodyssey51
August 17
10.38 p.m
Wikipedia / Theodyssey51
Theodyssey51
Fra Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Theodyssey51 is an unpopular and unimportant fart.
Links
https://theodyssey51.tumblr.com
August 17
10.41 p.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Inbox
nostromojinn: There you go, you’re famous too. Now you have nothing to complain about…
Theodyssey51: You’ll regret this.
nostromojinn: I’m so afraid.
Theodyssey51: How do you change wikipedia.
nostromojinn: Just go to edit.
Theodyssey51: Where?
nostromojinn: Omg, use your eyes.
Theodyssey51: I CAN’T FIND IT!
nostromojinn: No problem, I’ll help you.
nostromojinn: https://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodyssey51
August 17
10.45 p.m
Wikipedia / Theodyssey51
Theodyssey51
Fra Wikipedia, den frie encyklopedi
Theodyssey51 is unpopular, an unimportant fart and fucking great with technology.
Eksterne lenker
https://theodyssey51.tumblr.com
August 17
10.47 p.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Inbox
Theodyssey51: I hate you.
nostromojinn: I love you.
Theodyssey51: Why are you so CUTE? I can’t stay mad at you.
August 25
9.49 a.m
Jinn / nostromojinn.tumblr.com
Innbox
Private message from anonymous: Why don’t you answer everyone’s questions?? It’s fucking rude.
Private message from anonymous: Why haven’t you updated your blog in several days?
Private message from anonymous: You’re pathetic.
0 notes
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i got an ask a while back about one of the fics i took down-- i don’t know where it went, but i thought i’d put links to all the fics i took off my account in case anyone still wanted to access one.
i took them off my ao3 because i would prefer to not be associated with the dsmp fandom, but they aren’t deleted permanently. here they are:
How Do I Live (BUNNY IN THE BOX V)
is it really so unbelievable?
on the subject of paschal lambs
oh, so this is what love is
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i feel bad for not knowing some of these but some more questions (some of these are more personal, so no pressure to answer)
1) collective names? pronouns?
2) do multiple alters have partners? do certain alters date people in different bodies? do you have a partner system?
3) everyone's music tastes? (if not everyone, frequent fronters)
4) how many alters do you have?
5) would you, if given the option, pursue being a singlet? why or why not?
6) do all alters write/draw? do some of you have different art styles/handwriting?
7) what is your favorite memory in headspace?
8) how long have you known you're a system?
1) our “collective” name is currently relaxx, it’s sort of used as a last name :] and i use this emoji as a sign off 💤
2) at least two pairs in the system, and two dating someone in different bodies. i wouldn’t actually call it a partner system, but both the different body pairings are to the same other system, so i guess possibly? not sure the meaning of that term fully though so i could be using it wrong
3) one of them has a playlists of only marina and the diamonds songs. another guy likes pretty much just romance songs
4) uhh not THAT many… this isnt an exact number but i would assume around 12
5) yes and no. it was super hard to come to terms with any of this about myself and tbh i still have times where i think im just a singlet with a weird issue or need for attention. imposter syndrome i guess. but yea its weird because although i would sort of prefer not being a system just for the simplicity, there are some experiences (and obviously people) who i would want to still happen and exist
6) there’s only a few i know write or draw, mainly my cohost. there’s one who tries to draw but is not that good at it. we do have different handwriting i think
7) last christmas we put up a tree :] also towards the start when nobody had rooms yet and we all just camped in the living room
8) almost a year now, although considering my imposter syndrome “known” is a bit too big of a word
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