#sarcastic af

[elliottkay]

Happy Audiobook Day!

Poor Man's Fight 6: NO MAN'S LAND is now available in audio! Tanner's post-Navy college life is interrupted by a new interstellar threat. Come for the cute & cuddly aliens, stay for the sarcasm and biting critique of militarism and macho bullshit (in space)!

“I don't belong in the military. I don't want to belong.”

Tanner Malone never aspired to heroism. For him, the Navy and the Debtor’s War were all about survival. Lately, his life has turned to better days with college, friends, and a growing relationship. He’s not interested when a Union Fleet admiral brings him a mysterious alien threat, but he can’t turn away Alicia Wong.

Ancient warfare between humanity’s alien neighbors threatens to reignite. While tensions rise, the Fleet detects a massive alien craft sneaking through human space. The commando team sent to investigate is tough, competent, and straight out of Tanner’s worst fears. Surviving this will push Tanner to his limits—and he’ll definitely need a note for class.

#Poor Man's Fight #Tanner Malone #sci fi #science fiction #military science fiction #left-leaning space opera #sarcastic af #stupid military #stupid genocidal hyper-colonizing alien imperialists #wondering if there's class credit for resolving an alien threat

[kickingitwithkirk]

#dealing with life’s bs #Java Java Java #🛜 #sarcastic af #not pc in my house #and wouldn’t have it any other way #real life #credit to creator #notspn

[slineshia]

Ever since I watched the show, Magnus has been an embarrassingly big inspiration to me. All of that smoothness or confidence is something i strive to be.

Now while i was talking to to friend today I realised I missed my goal.

She is every bit of charming loveliness combined with an open heart and an always open ear for everybody, while i turned out to be the exact mirror of Ragnor....

#not sure if im mad at it tho #malec #magnus bane #shadowhunters #ragnor fell #spirit animal #im so bitter #sarcastic af #really hate people #noone is good enough for my friend/Magnus #she is absolutely lovely tho #why me lord #she is amazing

[the-travelling-witch]

wellll now that you brought up obey me. i do selfship with belphie hehe /)\\\(\ he tends to call me "dummy" (aff) or "giggles" since i tend to get like that whenever we cuddle. similar to tighnari, i find it funny whenever he shows zero chill to people that try to annoy me- hbu and asmo? ~Lycoris

i love belphie, he’s honestly such a mood he’s me fr

hmm i think asmo is a fan of all the classics like sweetheart, gorgeous, beautiful with his favourite being darling and love <3

he’ll throw in kitten or bunny when he’s feeling playful and frosty (or snowflake) when i’m sticking my cold hands and feet under his waist and thighs while cuddling :>

#coffee & tea break #my regulars ♡ #letter from: the lovely ri ✿ #i’m tired all the time #sarcastic af #moody #i’m really just belphie #if i’d live in the hol the brothers would never see me again #i’d just nap together with belphie all the time #literally can’t turn him down when he asks #anyway #back to asmo #he’s probably called me his muse before when he came up with a new fashion or jewellery line #even though i told him to stop being dramatic

[straysketches]

did the "draw your babygirl in this pose" meme... 💖

♡ Website | Store ♡

#my babygirl is an almost middle-aged timetraveling sarcastic af gargoyle #gargoyles #disney gargoyles #disney #brooklyn #timedancer #babygirl meme #pinup #fanart #straysketches #my art #no eyepatch bc I didn't feel like covering the closer eye... #this is also up a print on my redbubble!

[suspendingtime]

#anyway i'm back and i learnt that if you block an anon the asks disappears #but since i mentioned it in the previous one here's the other unhinged anon's ask... should i even say what's bonkers about this #cba to go on about the beast thing (lw is problematic for several reasons but you don't want the long af essay) #and still lmao at “stay the fuck away from kate” - are you ok? #but anyway i will continue to watch and blog about one of my favourite shows and *any* of the characters in it #cause i'm a sucker for period drama romances and will be invested in all the pairings including the ones outside my otp #unhinged #asks #more sarcastic gif answers to weird asks #bridgerton #polin #kanthony

[sarcasticswede71]

If you'd get your head outta your ass, you might actually see the path 🤣🤣🤣

#funny #sarcasm #inappropriate humor #lmao #hilarious #hilarious memes #humor #naughty memes #it’s fucking funny #that’s fucking hilarious #sarcastic #now that's what i call funny #funny af #so inappropriate

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Finally able to pick out a couple Welsh words in songs and figure out what they’re saying using context clues

(I still don’t know wtf is going on lmao)

#i still can’t say ‘please’ and ‘where are you from’ but at least i know how to add and subtract!! (sarcastic) #i’m nowhere near the basic ass spanish i know & learned in high school & i can’t speak spanish at all lmao i’m so doomed #i just wanna sing stuff without sounding stupid af #cymraeg #cymru #i’m not even welsh lmao #personal #find this later miracle aligner

[kamomie]

I'm gonna pull out my hair if one more person insists the others never trusted q!foolish.

He got away with so much pro-federation bullshit because they trusted him and believed he wouldn't actually sell them out.

They included him in all theory meetings whenever he was interested or someone remembered he was on. The majority of the exclusion was either because q!foolish didn't bother to go to a meeting or because someone forgot to invite him OTL

He's heard the majority of the orders theories and plans LMAO

They started holding back a tiny bit when q!foolish upped his pro-federation shenanigans.

Tell me again they never trusted his ass?

#and if one more person calls him a punching bag i might just scream #like please stop solely looking at q!foolish through uwu victim pink glasses #q!foolish #qsmp #rant #tags are mainly for myself so i know who and what i ranted about lol #never trusted him #no no they shared top secrets with someone they didn't trust #in actuality they are stupid af for including him despite not trusting him and suspecting he would betray them one day #last two tags are sarcastic btw #lmao

[youhavebeentraceyd]

when a character asks another character, that clearly looks upset "are you okay?": booo 🤮 that sucks 👎 bad writing 🥱 do better.

when a character asks another character that looks totally fine "are you okay?: oh hell yeah 😍 that's the good shit 👍 now start crying from the question ✨ oh baby this is top tier 💯

#my post #writing #script writing #i notice it a lot recently #the former you see a lot #off the top of my head i can think of two movies where a character is crying looks hysterical throwing shit #and someone comes in with a “are you okay?” #and its a pet peeve bc like the natural reaction is to be sarcastic af #like noooo theyre fine jfc #where as the latter - i actually can't think of any media thats done it #but i have experienced it first hand #all anyone has ever needed to do was put their hand on my shoulder and ask if I'm okay #and suddenly I'm bawling ny eyes out

[cokowiii]

Coko I am having very bad week and you and your late night shenanigans (and Cali talking to Mikey over coms) have been lifting my mood so much. You are so cool, thank you! <3

The benefits of being just so ducking funny yknow? I be Lighting up weeks

#asks and replies #I’m sarcastic af

[non-un-topo]

The way Joe reacts to being stabbed with a blunt ass letter opener like "ahh shit maaann shit" tells me everything I need to know about his personality in battle

#tog rewatch #that man is sarcastic af

[garaktime]

Fucking insane that a good life is entering my periphery

#not trek #just passed the 1% mark on saving for top surgery #I'm not being sarcastic btw I'm chuffed af #shits actually starting to move forward

[red-hemlock]

FIVE SONGS for your muse.

Psyche - Massive Attack: Ridicule they won't allow, Quench abuse and let love flower. Rip the cage out of your chest, Let the chaos rule the rest. Show without showing, What you know without knowing. Twigs snap, I catch no canoe only you and me, Alone on the old teal sea. Dissolving who we are, Call out for yesterday's destiny come. We're on a foreign shore.

Alligator - Of Monsters and Men: I see color raining down. Feral feeling, swaying sound, But I don't know what you want. I am open and I am restless. Let me feel it out, Let it all come out. Wake me up, I'm fever dreaming. And now I lose control, I'm fever dreaming. Shake it out, it's just what I'm feeling. And now I take control, I'm fever dreaming. (I'm fever-dreaming)

Dear Daughter - Halestorm: Dear daughter, Hold your head up high. There's a world outside, That's passing by. Dear daughter, Never lose yourself. Remember that, You're like nobody else.

Show Your Fangs - The Crane Wives: I'm not your highness, A damsel left helpless by fright. I am a lioness, Fierce as I walk through the night. With malice, beasts will show their fangs. They're in for a surprise, For bravely I will wield my weapon, I made from fangs of those that died.

Body and Mind - Girl in Red: I've been seeking solace in the strangest of things. Getting my hands dirty while I beat out the kinks. I've been chasing everything that makes me feel cold. Practicing self love is something I don't really know. So I suppose, I cannot live like this no more Filling a lifetime with remorse, I'm closing up the void.

FIVE QUOTES for your muse.

“People who have monsters recognize each other. They know each other without even saying a word.”

--- Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Last Night I Sang To The Monster

"You keep bringing this ‘illegal’ thing up as if it means something to me."

--- Ilona Andrews: Magic Shifts

"They wanted blood, so you painted your lips red and blew the wolves a kiss."

--- How to ask the devil for a dance | p.d

"I will go to war in a red dress, trample your ashes in high heels, look for my lipstick stain on your collar when I lean forwards not to kiss you, but to whisper: “I win.”

--- I am woman - a.j.

"Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it."

--- William Shakespeare, Macbeth

Tagged by: @corvidamned Tagging: (Whomever wishes to do thissss! @-tag me yus. <3)

#Kill City Killer ( Riverisms ) #Long Post #(Listen okay Dear Daughter by Halestorm gives me such River n' Dagny mom/daughter vibes and it makes me vERY EMOTIONAL M'KAY. 8'T) #(Also it was so hard to actually pick serious quotes and bypass all of the sarcastic af silly ones haha.) #(Buuuut I did pick one. Had to it's a law on this blog. At least one. 8P <3)

[sunshiline-writes]

Rainbringer #2: Say That Again

Kyler starts regretting his decision about making a deal with a goddess. Claire finds out she likes it when Kyler begs.

CW: begging, aftermath of choking, noncon touching (nonsexual), begging, fear of choking, fear of death, brief mention of a knife at the end

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His head hurt. There was a deep throbbing ache on the front of his skull. It took a moment to realize that someone was touching him. Stroking his hair, playing with it. He groaned and tried to lift his head. Then he opened his eyes. Ah, he was still in the temple. Claire was stroking his hair. Oh, she was stroking his hair and his head was in her damn lap. No, no, he didn’t like that. But he felt so heavy. His eyes felt so heavy, he wondered for a moment if she was playing a trick. The gentle, soft touch. He didn’t expect this from her. 

“I passed out,” he mumbled, looking up at her. His brain was foggy, like everything was in slow motion. Even his tongue felt heavy. 

“Yes you did,” she agreed, smiling gently, “I went too far. I always forget..” 

Kyler didn’t say anything, he just started to push himself to sit up. Claire didn’t stop him. His hair had fallen out of its neat low ponytail and he groaned slightly when he righted himself. He brought a hand to his neck, suddenly remembering the feeling of her hands around it. Squeezing, letting go, squeezing. Suddenly he felt like he couldn’t breathe again. 

“I healed the bruising,” she stated plainly. 

Kyler sighed slightly but it came out more like a wheeze. It was the panic, not the damage. He knew he could breathe normally again but it was the memory of it that was making him feel unwell. Holding his head he groaned again. 

“Wow, thanks for that. Really helped me out there,” Kyler said sarcastically, grabbing onto a bench in the temple, and pushing himself into an awkward standing position. He stood half bent over the bench, eyes shut tightly. This headache wasn’t going away was it? No no, this was a different headache. 

“I thought we learned a lesson ten minutes ago about disrespect,” Claire said, her voice right next to his ear, breath hot. She was always so close. Did she need to be that close? “I figured I would get rid of the bruises as a favor. For when you go home tonight. Anyone waiting for you?” 

Kyler winced as he stood up, turning to face her. Lying would be met with punishment so he answered as vaguely as he could. “Yes.” 

“Who?” 

“Knowing my personal life was not part of this agreement,” Kyler said warily, gauging her reaction. 

“True, but knowing makes you more interesting for me to play with.” 

“Great, I definitely want that for me.” Her eyes turned cruel again, and he raised his hands in surrender. “Sorry,” he mumbled. 

There was a pause in the room. Like even the air itself stopped moving. 

“Say that again,” Claire said, a bit giddily. A child. Why did she act like a child when she was the most cruel? 

“What?” he asked, licking his lips slightly. 

“You heard me Kyler,” again her eyes were lit up in childlike wonder at the way she was forcing him to apologize again. 

“I don’t-” 

She shoved him on the bench and he grabbed the front of it to stop himself from falling. He really should have just apologized in the first place. His sarcasm was getting him into trouble here. As per usual, but this was different. This was a goddess. As long as she didn’t put her hands around his throat again. Anything but that. 

“Don’t be stubborn, just apologize. Or I can keep you here for longer. I can make you pass out again. Worry whoever is waiting for you at home.” 

Kyler bit his lip and balled his fists. Step one to getting through this deal alive and not worrying Irvington: get over his pride. 

“No.. I’m sorry..” he finally said, swallowing hard. Picturing her hands around his throat again. “I’m sorry.. Please.. Please just let me go home.” 

Claire sighed contently, gently running her hand through his hair, moving it behind his ear. Always touching, always. What was with the touching? It took everything in him not to slap her hands away. 

“I love how sweet you sound when you’re begging. I’m going to ask for that more often,” she mused, running her fingers over his ear, tugging playfully on his earlobe. He stood up and she took a few steps back. 

“Can I leave now?” 

“Yes Kyler,” Claire said with a pout, “But we are going to have so much fun tomorrow.” 

So much fun, he thought to himself, as he started to walk past her. 

“Bring a knife tomorrow, I want to try something.” 

His heart stopped. 

Started again. 

He left the temple without another word. 

Kyler was starting to regret his deal with the goddess. Was the pain worth the rain? The answer was still yet to be answered.  tag list: @robinbugbanned @devourerofcheesecake @whumpinthepot @for-the-love-of-angst

#whump #whumpblr #poc whump #sunshine writes whump #rainbringer #kyler lluvia #Claire the goddess #lady whumper #touch averse whumpee #knife mention #begging #aftermath of choking #lots of fear and intimidation #Claire REALLY enjoys when Kyler begs #Kyler is sarcastic af and it gets him into trouble #any guesses as to what Claire has planned?

[a-heart-of-kyber]

David/Prince Charming really was a stealth himbo character of joy.

#like honestly my 3rd favorite in the whole show #he's somehow earnest and sarcastic af #prince charming #david nolan #ouat #his relationships with like everyone are stellar