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myosotisa · 5 months

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Chasm - e.m.

Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

‖ summary: You're a researcher working at one of the fault lines throughout Hawkins, studying the closed and dormant gates to an alternate dimension. While you're alone on site, one of the gates wakes up again.

‖ tags: horror. i cannot stress this enough. this is unsettling and creepy and angsty with slight sexual tension. in line with the content in the show. post season 4, canon compliant. emetophobia warning. dubcon kissing. forced consumption (writing it made me gag just warning you. but im also kind of a baby so). no y/n, she/her pronouns used. flayed!eddie infects you. open ended ending. also steve is there sometimes. there's a ton of background lore that is only vaguely explained lol

‖ word count: 8.3k ‖ read on AO3 ‖ the song ‖

None of the rifts have shown any activity in over a year. Months and months of dead readings and no signals. Just waiting.

So what's a girl supposed to do when your EMF meter spikes alone on site? Sit around and wait for a crew to suit up and march their way over to the fault you were at? No fucking way. No chance.

You report in about the sudden spike in gamma radiation and tell them you're going to find the source. The project lead tells you to stay put and wait for assistance, as expected.

Your radiation gear was already halfway on. Oops, sorry boss, didn't hear you.

Handheld voltage meter in one hand, audio recorder in the other, and a pocket full of glow sticks, you push out past the plastic tarps and into the humid night air of Indiana summer.

The readings bring you west, toward the condemned trailer park and the "start" of your fault line. You crack a glow stick and drop it every few feet, marking your path. When the reading jumps up, you make a '+' sign with two at the spot before continuing forward. It was hard to say without exact measurements, but it seemed to be increasing at equal intervals. Like frozen waves on the surface of water.

"I'm approaching the Forest Hills sign," you say into the receiver, your own voice the only sound in the night air. "Current readings are…" You bring the meter up, using the light hanging from your neck to read the display. "Approaching 70 mv/m of high frequency radiation, roughly 31016 Hz. The next… 'Layer', for lack of a better term, will most likely breach Safe EMF levels, not considering the potential protection of the suit."

Lowering the meter again when it gives a beep of warning, you tuck it under your arm and crack another glow stick, leaving a '+' at the boundary to the trailer park. "I'll probably need treatment when I get back to base – as long as I grab a reading from the source and get out quickly, there won't be lasting damage. You hear that, Dr. Pierce?" You say through an over-confident huff, readjusting your arms to keep moving forward. "I'm well aware of the risks and take responsibility for my own actions."

The park itself looks like a bad dream at night – trailers abandoned hastily with doors still hung open and belongings scattered along the ground. Between the sudden fault opening and the bureau rushing in, the existing residents had been given very little time and grace to move into temporary housing across town. And it looked every bit like an entire community of people had just up and disappeared.

The suit you were in didn’t exactly help coordination, so you moved slowly and carefully over and around discarded objects along the dirt. Clothing, kitchen utensils, a quilt, a stack of newspapers, a child's toy. All left untouched for over a year.

Clearing the corner of one of the empty trailers, you catch sight of something strange.

“The fault itself has looked normal up to this point, no activity. But I can see the source now. It’s… It appears to be glowing red, fading in and out in a constant cycle.” Approaching even slower than before, you watch intently as the glow grows and then retreats again. Like waves on the shore.

The meter gives another shrill alarm – making you jump nearly out of your skin as you swat at it with the recorder. “Jesus Christ!” It quiets with a sinking pitch in your hand.

Before checking the reading, you quickly make another ‘+’ with glow sticks, digging them into the dirt a bit in an attempt to keep them from moving. Still down on one knee, you bring the meter up to your flashlight again.

“The meter is now reading 110 mv/m, same frequency. I’m roughly… 12 feet out from the source now. There’s a, uh, humming sound. Not sure if the recording is picking it up. And feeling pressure on my eardrums,” you explain into the device, eyes locked on the glow ahead. “I’ll continue to approach – see if I can get a closer reading. If it jumps above 150, I’ll fall back.”

Pushing to your feet again with a huff, you readjust your full load and press forward slowly. The closer you get to the source, you can see that the fault rapidly grows in size. The space between the edges looks large enough to fit a car as it rounds out at the end – a red pond in the ground.

“I can see the source clearer now. The glow is coming from within – there’s a…" You take a few steps closer, squinting to get a better look. "It appears to be an opaque membrane covering the space between. The glow is coming from behind it. Still cycling at an even rate, no change.”

The meter in your hand gives its shrillest warning yet, scaring you badly enough that it goes flying out of your hand; it hits the ground and flips closer to the edge. “Shit, fuck!”

You shuffle forward and drop down onto your shaky knees, grabbing for the meter as it continues to let out that grating alarm into the night air. Smacking it once more, the sound cuts off abruptly, giving you a chance to breathe.

Bringing it up to your flashlight, your eyes go wide as you lift the recorder again with your other trembling hand. “I’m nearly at the edge now, only a foot or so away – EMF reading 187 mv/m. Rapid increase from the last point.”

Movement in your peripheral vision catches your attention, your head snapping toward it.

“There’s… What the fuck?" You pause, tempted to rub your eyes to make sure you're really seeing what you're seeing.

"There’s movement below the membrane. It… It’s just a shadow, I can’t tell what it is, but the movement is rapid and the… The humming is getting louder.” Your heart is pounding now, a cold sweat breaking out across your skin beneath the suit.

“Going to retreat back to base,” you say, mostly attempting to reassure yourself as you slowly back away from the edge. “Final reading was 189 mv/m at 31016 Hz.”

There’s a crackle of static right before a thumb presses the pause button roughly, silencing the recorder in the center of the table.

“Is that all?” General Richard Highland asks, sounding impatient as he leans back in his conference chair. “That doesn’t tell us anything about what happened to her.”

“No, sir, there’s more.” Private Steve Harrington insists, inclining his head toward the dirty recorder he had delivered. He’s standing by the edge of the table at attention, hands clasped in front of him. “The recording keeps going.”

Dr. Pierce leans forward from his seat, giving the General a stiff look as he presses the play button again.

There’s a few more moments of static before the woman’s voice fades back in, layered beneath the hum of attempted interference.

“I’m definitely gonna need that rad treatment, Dr. Pierce. My badge is that warning color, even beneath the suit,” she continues with a shaky laugh, the sound of plastic shuffling behind it. “Hopefully I don’t lose my hair or something, but that’s… What?”

The table of scientists and military personnel sits in tense silence as her voice cuts out again. Half of them are on the edge of their seats, the others showing off a measured calm or disinterest. The general looks particularly annoyed and impatient, while Dr. Pierce looks almost like he wants to throw up.

“There’s… Something’s happening – I don’t–”

An abrasive crackle echoes out into the room, loud enough to send nearly everyone into a wince, before the recording cuts back in with the sound of screaming.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?! SHIT – I’ve gotta get–" A burst of interference sounds, followed by a metallic grating, like a ship groaning beneath the weight of the ocean.

Her panicked voice comes through, sounding further away than before. "FUCK! It – It’s got my ankle. Let go, you fucking piece of –! SHI–”

The recording cuts out to a buzzing hum.

No one moves for a few moments. Not until Private Harrington steps up to silence the recorder. “We found this recording, a lab issue EMF meter, and a broken flashlight at the edge of the fault." He explains, producing the other two items from the pack resting at his feet. "It was dormant when we got there – solid again.”

“So it just…” One of the other scientists starts, looking at Dr. Pierce uneasily.

“Dragged her through and went back to sleep.” Dr. Pierce confirms solemnly, his gaze locked on the dirty recorder.

“It’s never done this before?” A 2nd scientist, new to the project, asks. The others shake their heads. “So what do we do?”

All eyes turn to Dr. Pierce, who looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“We wait for it to wake up again.”

Wake up.

Come on, little lamb.

Wake up now.

Looks so peaceful.

But you’ve got to wake up.

…

WAKE UP.

There’s something wet on your face.

Feeling is slowly returning to your body, your eyes closed and too heavy to open. But there’s something dripping on your cheek – droplets running down toward your mouth. Sticking to your dry lips for a moment or two before falling off. You’re on the ground on your stomach, your cheek squished against something that feels like mud.

Your brain has yet to kick on fully as it tries to regain consciousness through a pounding ache, resonating with the throb of your left leg. It feels like you’re still wearing the rad suit, but the head piece is gone and it might be ripped in places – mud seeping in to touch your skin.

It’s almost like you’re sinking.

Eyelids fluttering open and you’re faced with a desaturated swamp. Like someone came through and sucked half the color out of it.

Lifting one arm is difficult, suctioned into the mud you’re laying in. Once you’ve freed it enough, you’re able to push off the sticky, wet sludge beneath you enough to roll over onto your back.

“Sucks, doesn’t it?”

You sit up with a start, your abdomen screaming in protest as your brain swims. Blinking through the blur in your eyes, you struggle to see anything at all in the dark – only momentarily granted sight by the flashes of red lightning overhead.

“Who’s there?” You call out into the dark, an attempt to sound brave, but your voice trembles as your eyes rapidly flit back and forth.

“Over here.”

The lightning flashes once more as you whip your head toward the voice – showing the silhouette of a man standing a few feet away. From what little you see, he’s tall and slender, head tilted to the side like he’s curious. There’s no chance you can see his face or anything else about him.

Until he’s in your face, crouched down right beside you – crossing the space and appearing in the span of a blink. It gives you a start, attempting to back up but getting caught up in the mud still suctioned to your lower half.

Your fear seems to bring a small smile to his face, plump lips tilting up at the corner. He looks so familiar… Long curly hair draped wetly over his shoulders, the sparse bangs across his forehead, and the soft turn of his nose. Curiosity gets the better of you as you lean in again slightly, squinting your eyes a bit more in the dark to see him better.

“I know you…” You insist softly, causing his eyebrows to raise slightly in surprise. “How do I know you?”

“No clue, because I’ve never met you in my life.” He replies, lips parting in a grin. “And I’m good with faces – ‘specially pretty ones.”

His response catches you off guard as your brain continues reeling and struggling to intake information, which is normally your forte. There’s a million questions on the tip of your tongue and you have no idea where to start.

“You’ll probably need to lose the suit if you want to get out of that shit,” he continues when you don’t respond, motioning to your stationary legs with a wave of his hand. And he’s probably right, with the way the mud beneath you is stuck tight to the shiny plastic. Your best hope is to try to use the suit as a stepping off point to get to stable ground.

“Where should I step once I pull out?” You ask, hoping he’ll understand your goal.

A blink and he’s gone again – another flash of red light placing his silhouette off to your left. “Think you can make it to here?” He responds, voice raised slightly and sounding like he’s teasing you or challenging you. It makes your competitive side flare up on instinct – a frustrated huff leaving your nose as you plan your escape.

Opening the front of the suit, you slip both arms out and let the upper half fall flat behind you. Pulling out both of your legs next, your butt sinks deeper into the ground, nearly sending you off balance as you quickly shift your weight forward onto your knees, using the suit as a stepping stone. It starts to sink, mud coming up over the edge and inching toward your knees, so you have to move fast.

Pushing to your feet makes it sink faster, wet sludge touching the side of your ankle just as you push off in a jump toward where the man was standing.

You land on the ankle that had been grasped by the tentacle, not realizing the throbbing meant it’d been twisted. It makes you cry out in pain and fall forward, directly into the man’s chest.

“Woah there!” He says in surprise, grasping onto your elbows to keep you sort of upright. Between the aching pain and the tears pressing at your eyes, you just barely manage to notice how cold and clammy he is – especially where his hands grip your bare biceps.

Rocketing back, you press your weight onto your good leg and put some distance between the two of you again, your dirty arms crossing over your tank top and smearing it with mud. “Sorry, my, uh, ankle…” You offer awkwardly, still not even sure who you’re talking to.

“Don’t worry about it, angel. You good?”

He actually sounds like he cares. Like he’s concerned for you. Who is he?

“I’ll be fine,” you insist stubbornly, swallowing down the lump of tears in your throat. Free from your precarious situation, at least partially, you struggle to figure out what to address first. “How are you doing that? Like… Teleporting? Or are you just moving really fast?”

He chuckles softly, shaking his head. “What–,” he disappears in a blink and then you feel a burst of air on the back of your neck, making your hair stand on end, “this?”

You lurch forward before turning around to level him a glare. “Yes, that – don’t do that.”

His hands tuck into the front pockets of the leather jacket he’s wearing as he shrugs, looking quite pleased with himself. “Sorry, angel, didn’t mean to spook you.”

Then silence falls, both of you eyeing each other – you suspiciously and him curiously. The extended pause makes you think you aren’t going to be told how anytime soon.

A breeze kicks up, rustling the branches of the trees in the surrounding swampland and sending a shiver down your spine. Suit lost, you’re down to a tank top, jeans, and a pair of no slip shoes (which were required for people working in the field for some reason). You were dressed for the humid interior of the field site tent in summer and it appears that you have landed yourself in a place where that is not enough.

Taking advantage of the silence, you try to remember everything you can about your studies into the ‘gates’ from when they were open. Very little was known beside second hand accounts and old data – some of which may not even be accurate anymore given the nature of the fault lines. If there was anywhere to start, it would be trying to find the gate you’d been dragged through.

With any luck, you could go right back to your dimension.

But that didn’t account for him. The pale, wet, unsettling-yet-somehow-charming guy that was still staring right at you.

“How long have you been here? Do you know?” You question cautiously, not wanting to upset him in any way.

“That depends, what year is it?”

Your heart drops into your stomach, completely at odds with the continued grin on his face. It looks almost manic now – like every time he sets you off balance brings him great joy. Deciding you’d actually rather not know how long he’s been in here, you move on.

“Have you been alone this whole time? Or are there other people here?”

His grin spreads, like he’s in on a joke you’re not aware of. “I haven’t been alone, no.”

This piques your curiosity again, adjusting your weight on your good leg. “Do you have a community here? How many of you are there?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” He suggests, taking a step or two away from you, his hands still tucked into his pockets.

The idea is tempting, if only to learn more about what is going on here, but there’s something nagging at the back of your mind. Something you should be remembering. Something you’re missing. Plus, for all you know, this man does not have your best interests at heart.

“I should probably try to find the gate that brought me here,” you say, slightly regretfully. “See if I can cross back over.”

“Oh, right,” he responds, tapping his forehead with his palm like it should’ve been obvious. “Yeah, I can show you the way.”

This surprises you again, slight concern causing you to stand up straighter. “You can?”

“Sure thing, the closest one isn’t far,” he motions behind him with a tilt of his chin, taking another step back. “Come on.”

So you follow the strange man into the dark, limping after him on your twisted ankle. The mud starts to dry on your skin, hair, and clothing – crusting over and hardening in places. You pick at pieces as you walk, letting the chunks and flakes fall to the ground behind you. From what little you can see, there are vines everywhere along the ground, weaving between tree trunks and layering over each other in place. The man seems to step over them – and you can’t tell if it’s on purpose or a coincidence – but you make a habit of not touching the vines just in case.

It’s unsettlingly quiet here. Every once in a while you’ll hear what sounds like an animal – a howl, a chittering, the thump of feet on the earth. But they are few and far between, leaving mostly just the rush of wind through the trees and a sort of muffled silence, pressure on your ears.

Your paranoia kicks up as the quiet continues, suspiciously eyeing the back of your escort as he leads you forward. For all you knew, he wasn’t leading you anywhere near the gate. You have no reason to trust him beyond the fact that he helped you get out of the sludge you woke up in. He was in this dimension after all, clearly familiar with it. That had to be a red flag if anything, given what little you actually knew about it.

So much was classified beyond your reach – the bureau was very specific with what you were allowed to read and know and what you weren’t. Given the dormant nature of the fault lines, it hadn’t been necessary for you to learn too much about the dimension on the other side. Most of what you studied and knew was about the gates themselves.

Even with the bureau being as paranoid and obsessive as it was – a lowly field researcher getting dragged to the other side and needing to survive hadn’t seemed to be on their radar.

The pessimistic part of you not-so-helpfully supplies that was probably just because they weren't very interested in your survival at all. They’d probably prefer it if you died here. If anything, your exposure to the other side made you more of a liability.

Maybe one they could experiment on, if you got lucky and survived.

This train of thinking isn’t helping anything. You could worry about what your life would become if you made it out.

Walking up to the lifeless and solid gate turns that into a very tentative if.

“Looks like the door’s shut tight,” Eddie offers vaguely, rocking back and forth on his heels as you circle the hole in the ground, like seeing a new angle will change something about it.

The opening looks largely the same as the other side, in the center of the abandoned trailer park with the forest surrounding. Your arms are covered in goosebumps as the breeze hits harder in the open field, no longer buffered by trees on all sides. On the bright side, it is slightly better lit here and you can see your companion a bit clearer now.

“Do you know how these things work? Like how and why it opens and shuts?” You ask desperately, looking at him from the other side of the crevice.

The corner of his mouth tilts up minutely, his shoulders shrugging. “Yes and no.”

The scowl returns to your face, frustration mounting as another shiver of cold racks your body. “Are you intentionally being unhelpful? Or are you just an idiot?”

His lips part in a surprised ‘o’, his eyebrows raising like he’s impressed. “That hurts, angel. I’m no idiot, and I think I’ve been plenty helpful. After all… I could’ve just left you to drown out there. Or maybe led you into a trap. Or left you for the dogs.” He taunts, returning to a toothy grin. The question of if he has your well being in mind gets more and more clear with a resounding no.

A fearful jolt runs down your spine as you stare him down, trying not to let your fear show. Grappling tightly to your anger, you taunt back, “Oh yeah? Then why didn’t you?”

A blink and he’s gone.

Your entire body goes on alert, tensing for attack as your heart starts to pound against your ribs. Eyes searching the immediate area in front of you come up empty. He’s either behind you or far enough you can’t see him in the low light. You never got an answer as to whether he’s moving quickly or teleporting or exactly how far he can get in the time you blinked.

He’s either long gone or… Trying to surprise you.

As soon as you have the thought, the hair on the back of your neck stands up – like some kind of unconscious sense of danger.

You turn in a quick 180 and he’s right there. Only a foot away from you with a sadistic sort of smile on his face. Your breath catches in your chest as it feels like a fist grabs tightly to your heart, suddenly much more terrified of the man in front of you.

That appears to be the way he prefers it.

“I think we can help each other.”

You blink at him, muscles pulled taut and ready to bolt as you try to figure out what the fuck he’s doing and what the fuck he wants. “What?” You question, your voice coming out a bit breathy and scared.

“I said, I think we can help each other,” he repeats calmly. “You help me, and I can help you get back home.”

“Why– What– H–how could I possibly help you?” You sputter, trying not to sound as terrified and confused as you feel.

His grin turns cheeky again, slightly less unsettling than it was a moment ago. “It won’t take much, angel, scout’s honor.” He says as he lays a hand over his chest. “You help me, then you’re free to crawl right back over to the other side and continue your life.”

Disbelief and uncertainty nags at you as you fidget in your spot, wanting desperately to put some more distance between the two of you but nervous to offend him. “So you can open the gate? You just want something in return?”

He shakes his head emphatically, appearing to be genuine in his denial. “I can’t but I know who can. They opened it before you were brought over.”

“And they would open it again? Just because you asked?” You question suspiciously, studying his facial expression for a sign that he’s pulling your leg again.

“Let’s just say that me and them have similar goals and leave it at that.”

There are 100 more questions on the tip of your tongue, but with the potential of getting back to your own dimension on the table, you’re reluctant to press too hard. He seems to recognize the battle you’re fighting with yourself as he laughs to himself. “You know what they say about curiosity, angel.”

An annoyed exhale punches out of your nose. “And I assume in this case that I’m the cat.”

“Bingo!” He says happily, tapping the end of his nose with his index finger. “So what do you say?”

There is so much you want to say. So many questions you want to ask. So much more info you need. But beggars can’t be choosers, you suppose.

“What would I need to do?”

His smile goes sharp again. “So glad you asked. I’d just need a kiss.”

A beat of silence. Then your expression drops in disbelief and disappointment. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Dead serious,” he insists, laying his hand on his chest again as he regards you intently. “And it’s gotta be real – gotta kiss me like you mean it. None of those little pecks you give on the cheek.”

A strange swirl of intrigue and revulsion mixes together in your gut as you continue waiting for the punchline. The ‘just kidding, your face was priceless’. But it doesn’t come.

“Is this some kind of sick joke? Been so lonely out here that you have to twist the arm of a desperate girl just to get some–”

“Hey.” He interrupts, his tone intense and cold. It shuts you up immediately, though you can’t say why. “Don’t be mean, angel. This isn’t just me trying to take advantage of you. It has a real purpose.”

The dubious look you give him makes him crack another small smile. “Cross my heart and hope to die, I’m telling you the truth.”

“And am I allowed to know what this purpose is?”

He shakes his head again, displacing the curls draped over his shoulders that still appear to have not dried at all. “I’ll tell you when it’s done, how about that?” He offers, using your curiosity against you to try to sweeten the deal.

Really, it’s a no brainer. Sure, he’s a strange person that lives in an alternate dimension that has some strange abilities. Sure, you know next to nothing about him despite that itch in the back of your head telling you that you know him somehow. And sure, this could be a huge mistake. But having to kiss this admittedly-attractive dude just to get out of this nightmare dimension and get back home? The choice is simple.

Which only makes you more certain there’s a catch you aren’t seeing.

“Fine. If you swear I’ll be able to go home, then I’ll do it.”

His expression brightens excitedly, a sort of childlike joy appearing on his face. It’s different from any of the expressions you’ve seen on him so far – like genuine surprise. “You will?”

“Yeah, sure.” You reply, trying to brush it off as nothing. “Not like I have a lot of other options here.”

His excitement fades slightly, though he still looks pleased with the outcome. “Glad you made the right decision.”

An unsettling silence falls as the two of you study each other once more, now much closer than the last time. Fear and anticipation builds steadily as you find yourself glancing down at his lips – realizing you’re about to know what they feel like on your own.

“Do we, uh,” you pause to clear your throat as you awkwardly break the silence. “Do we do it now? Or… What?”

He takes a step closer, entering your personal space. His voice is lower, stickier, and richer when he responds. “Do you wanna do it now, angel?”

You suddenly feel like a fly stuck in a honey trap – eyes widening as you struggle between wanting to further close the distance and to run away from him. “Now’s as good a time as any, I suppose?” Though you meant it to be nonchalant, it comes out as a nervous question.

The uncertainty in your voice only seems to make the man crack another amused smile. “I suppose so,” he replies softly, gently teasing you as he gets even just a little bit closer. You can feel your heart pounding in your neck, constantly flipping back and forth between fear, interest, nerves, and embarrassment. Looking at you through slightly lowered eyelids, he leans in toward you. Close enough you can feel the exhale of his breath on your face.

“Kiss me like you mean it, angel.” He reminds you quietly, the tip of his nose nudging against yours as your eyelids flutter closed instinctively. “Don’t forget.”

Then his lips are pressing to yours. You make a small noise of surprise, both in that you weren’t sure if he was actually going to do it and because he’s so cold. But his lips are plush and soft as he places your lower lip between his own. As promised, you kiss him back, trying not to think about how strange it feels that he’s cold and the situation you’re in – focusing on the gentle pressure of him as he steps even closer and brings his hand up to cradle your jaw.

It’s gentle and sweet as you find yourself starting to forget the reality of it all. Your hands find the edges of his leather jacket, tugging him closer as he hums happily. His other hand finds your waist – cold through the thin fabric of your tank top.

Teeth nip lightly at your lower lip and you make another small noise of surprise, a flash of heat through your chest at the pleasant feeling. It distracts you further – not even questioning the adventurous flick of his tongue against your mouth. You part your lips on instinct; his hand flexing happily against your jaw as he tests the waters to run his tongue along yours.

You return the gesture, encouraging the touch as you breathe heavily through your nose. You’re running low on air and will need to part to breathe soon. You’re surprised to find that you aren’t really sure that you want to stop to do so.

He seems to recognize the impending need too; his lips pressing against yours more insistently, like he’s getting what he can before it ends. His tongue ventures past your lips one more time, pressing further than he had before. Is… Is his tongue longer than normal?

In the same moment that he pulls away from you, the hand on your jaw claps over your mouth to keep it shut. And there’s something in your mouth.

There’s something moving in your mouth.

You make a high pitched noise of panic as your eyes double in size, looking at him in terror while he holds you tightly to his front and keeps his hand firmly over your mouth. “Ah, ah, angel. You gotta swallow it.” He coos, his palm clammy and cold against your slick lips.

You shake your head as well as you can with his grip, making noises of protest as you struggle to keep the smooth, wiggling object from sliding down your throat. Your hands grab at his wrist and forearm, trying to pull him off, but his grip is too strong. Begging him with your eyes, sharp and stuttered breaths coming out of your nose as you hyperventilate, he just gives you a sad smile. “It’s not that bad, I promise. Just gotta swallow and it’ll be over – don’t make me plug your nose.”

Painful tears poke out of your eyes and start to descend down your cheeks, nails digging into his skin to try and get him off. It seems not to affect him at all, his other hand giving your waist a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay, baby. It’s gonna be okay. This is it – you won’t have to do anything else. Come on, angel. You can do it. Just swallow for me.”

His words of encouragement make your head spin in confusion, panic mounting as the outcome seems inevitable. More tears pour down your cheeks as you choke on a sob, inadvertently allowing the object to slide down your throat.

“There we go,” he sighs in relief, grip on your face loosening, “Good girl.”

Somehow he knew that you’d swallowed it because he releases you right as you start to cough roughly, stumbling away from him and bending forward. You can still feel the strange coating from the creature on your tongue and down your esophagus – thick and wrong as you cough and gag.

Get it out, get it out, get it out, GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT!!

“What was– How do I– I’ve gotta–” You stammer, stumbling over your words as you tremble wildly and gag, your body responding to your panic by wanting to reject the new contents of your stomach.

He appears right beside you again, gripping both of your wrists with his hands as he forces you upright. “Don’t throw it up.” His voice is a command, his expression intense. “If you throw it up, I’ll have to force feed you another one. And trust me, it’s way less fun the 2nd time.”

Tears continue to pour from your eyes as you rapidly shake your head. “What was– What is– Why are you doing this? What was that thing?”

“Calm down, angel, please calm down,” he begs, starting to look distressed himself. “It’s gonna be okay, I swear, it’s gonna be fine. You’re a part of something bigger now. It’s all going to be okay.”

You try to pull out of his grip on your wrists, alternating between yanking back and rushing forward to push him away. “What the fuck does that mean?! What have you done to me?!” You shout through your tears, white hot panic spreading through your body. “It’s not too late – I can still, I can still throw it up, I can…”

He drags you in, wrapping you up in a tight bear hug with your arms trapped between the two of you. He shushes you, standing steady against your weakening struggling against him. “Shhh, shh, it’s alright, angel. It’s okay. You’re gonna get to go home, okay? We’re gonna get to go home.”

“Sir, we’ve got activity.”

Dr. Pierce pushes out of his desk chair fast enough to make his head spin – lack of sleep and too much coffee weakening him beyond measure. He’s barely left the main building since you went missing.

Since you were dragged through.

There have been constant patrols of the fault line you disappeared into, hoping for any sign of it waking up again. It was on his order and against the wishes of General Highland. She’s a level 1 researcher. She knew the risks. It’s not worth the cost.

But you didn’t know the risks, not really. Pierce knows he didn’t do enough to prepare you, to warn you. He didn’t do enough to protect you.

This is his fault.

He’s not the only one buzzing with anticipation as he exits his darkened office; several other scientists and field agents are reacting to the news of activity with a rush. Not everyone will be allowed to go to the site, as it would be a madhouse, but several live cameras and other surveillance equipment have been set up in the area. At least a quarter of the bureau across the country will be intently watching whatever happens next.

Pierce says nothing as he makes his way for the garage and the people he passes know better than to approach him now. He can still feel their eyes – judgemental, curious, concerned. He’s felt their eyes for days.

There are several SUVs already prepared by the time he arrives, most already full of people who were approved to be on site in the case of reactivation. He recognizes the soldier standing by waiting for him as Private Steve Harrington, the same man who brought in the recorder originally. He’s one of the few people at the bureau with prior knowledge of the other dimension despite his low rank.

“Sir,” he greets with a respectful head dip, opening the backdoor of the SUV for Pierce as he approaches. Pierce returns the gesture before climbing into the backseat, sliding across the bench to the opposite side. Steve gets in after him, his bulky gear forcing him to sit far forward on the bucket seat as he slams the door closed behind him.

It only takes another minute or so before the caravan lurches and begins to move, following after the identical black SUV in front of it.

The walkie-talkie on Steve’s shoulder kicks to life quietly, a short and concise signal coming through that Pierce doesn’t understand. The exhausted scientist looks over curiously as Steve murmurs an, “Affirmative,” into the device before clicking it off.

“Any news from the fault?”

Steve glances over, surprised to be addressed, before he turns back to look out the front windshield. “Nothing yet, sir.”

Pierce keeps an eye on the soldier as they travel – watching with intrigue as the man continuously searches the vehicle’s surroundings, like he’s expecting an attack.

“You seem on edge, Steve.” He straightens in response, looking even more uncomfortable at being referred to by his first name. “Is it because the gate is active?”

A muscle in his jaw rolling with tension, Steve keeps his gaze firmly forward as he responds. “It doesn’t supply a good feeling, that’s for sure.”

“And yet you still volunteered for the theoretical strike team to go through?” Pierce wonders aloud, phrasing it like a question.

There’s a tense moment of silence before the private answers. “At least I already know what to expect on the other side.”

The two don’t interact again for the reminder of the drive.

The SUVs all pull into the vacant field beside the field tent in a line, the leader of the patrol team coming out to meet the first vehicle. Pierce watches General Highland step out of it and start to converse with the uniformed woman. By the time he makes it way over, he seems to be catching the tail end of the conversation.

“We have each unit spread out in even intervals along the fault; so far there has been no change since it first activated.”

“And they all have their protective equipment on, I presume?” Dr. Pierce cuts in, surprising the patrol leader and earning an annoyed look from General Highland.

“Yes sir,” she responds with a head nod. “I was just telling the general that they’re all outfitted with gear to protect them from the worst of the radiation, but it would still do good to regularly swap out the unit in the center, where the worst of it is.”

Pierce agrees with a stiff nod, not waiting to hear the general disagree before he turns to look back. As he expected, Private Harrington trailed him over, waiting a respectful distance away as to not eavesdrop. “Harrington.”

Steve turns at the call, jogging over to Pierce. “Sir.”

“Suit up. You’re coming with me to the source.”

“Yes sir.”

The pair of them push into the field tent, currently staffed with 15 more people than usual. There are researchers and scientists bent over displays and documenting readings, soldiers standing by with weapons, field agents watching over the researchers shoulders. Pierce walks past all of them, parting the way as he does, and starts to strip off his lab coat while pulling a radiation suit off the rack. Steve follows suit, removing a majority of his gear to reequip on top of the plastic suit.

The buzz of excited chatter is nearly grating on Pierce’s ears as he goes through the annoying process of putting on the PPE. But he misses it when it suddenly cuts off, directly after one of the researchers announces, “We’ve got a spike in activity!”

Pierce looks over at Steve, who is still clipping things to his belt again. “We’ve gotta move.”

“Yes sir,” Steve repeats once more, gathering the bare necessities in his arms to try to equip as they move. The pair of them push out the other side of the tent and set into a jog towards what used to be Forest Hills Trailer Park.

They pass a few pairs of outfitted people as they move – soldiers patrolling and scientists maintaining the monitoring equipment placed along the fault. None of them interact as the pair jogs past, heading for the end of the fault line. They can see a small group ahead – presumably gathered closer to where the spike in activity happened.

“Make some room!” Steve barks out as they approach, the gathered group moving further away from the fault line in response. Some look back to see who is coming while others keep their eyes locked on the glowing source beyond.

“Keep at least 10 feet back from the fault at all times,” Pierce orders the group as they pass. “Stay in pairs, don’t go off on your own. We have very little idea what we’re dealing with here, but we have reason to believe there are things that will try to drag you through the gate. If something comes out, fall back and call out. Don’t let your partner get grabbed.”

There is some murmuring in response, but no one openly disregards the order, starting to pair off as a few people move further back along the fault line. Pierce approaches a pair hunched over a meter near the source, keeping his eyes on the glowing red below. “What are we looking at?”

“It’s fluctuating slightly; was 116 mv/m at 31016 Hz at peak.” The researcher responds, keeping a close eye on the EMF before them. “Nothing close to the reported 189 mv/m. We might not be looking at full activation. Or maybe it’s building up, it’s hard to say.”

“Wait,” Steve cuts in, holding a hand out for the researcher to pause. “Do you hear that?”

They all fall silent, listening closely.

Then Pierce hears it – the hum from the recording. The one you were talking about hearing.

The scientist gives him a nod of agreement before looking back to the researcher. “Any sign of movement from the other side?”

“Not that we can tell from here,” the field agent answers for them. “We’ve been following the guidelines to stay back so it’s hard to catch anything from here.”

“Radio? Portable EMF?” Dr. Pierce asks, and the field agent presents both. He takes them and then looks back at Steve. “We’re moving up.”

Even behind the protection of the face shield, Pierce can see the tension in his expression. Regardless, the private still answers with a confident, “Yes sir.”

Keeping the meter within eyesight, the two push ahead, closer to the large opening at the source. Pierce watches it tick up with each step closer, crossing the 150 mark as they get within 5 feet of the edge. Looking out across the opening, the glowing membrane pulses and hums with energy, louder and louder as they approach.

There’s very little movement on the other side, but every once in a while Pierce catches a glimpse of a dark shadow moving beyond.

“Never gets any less unsettling to look at,” Steve murmurs beside him, shifting his weight between his feet as he keeps his eyes locked on the unbroken membrane.

“Dr. Pierce, we’ve got another spike!” The researcher calls from behind, voice sounding a bit concerned. “We’re edging 170 now.”

The humming increases steadily along with a slight vibration in the ground beneath their feet. Steve steps up beside Pierce, a hand out like he’s ready to drag him back from the edge, as Pierce stares into the membrane intensely.

Come on. Come on. Come back through. Just be alive. Come on. Please be alive.

A more defined shadow moves along the edge closest to the trailer and doesn’t pull back. “We’ve got movement!” Steve calls back, alerting the nearby units as Pierce’s hand flies out to hush him. They both watch with a certain level of horrified fascination as the shadow grows defined enough to make that section of the membrane appear black before it begins to tear.

A bare hand extends out of the membrane, blindly grasping for the nearby edge. Steve twitches forward, like he wants to go and help them, but Pierce holds him back wordlessly, leaving them both standing perfectly still as another hand appears and grabs onto the edge.

The person uses the grip on the edge to pull themselves through – a woman in a filthy tank top and jeans struggling to pull herself onto the flat ground. As soon as she is through, she quickly turns around on her knees and reaches back through the membrane.

You’re… You’re actually alive.

Several soldiers approach slowly with their rifles out, aiming at you as you take hold of someone else’s hand and start to pull them through. A pale man with long, messy hair appears from the other side, holding on tightly to you as you help him reorient to the change in perspective. “No way…” Steve whispers, standing frozen as he watches them start to sit up and look around.

“Dr. Pierce!” You call happily once you spot him, waving at him like you’re excited to see him. There’s a huge smile on your face, a stark contrast to your utterly disheveled appearance. “I made it! I’m back!”

The soldiers continue to keep their weapons trained on the newcomers, watching for some sign of aggression. You slowly get to your feet, offering your hand to your companion and helping him up too. Steve takes a few mindless steps towards them, Dr. Pierce no longer stopping him. “Eddie?” He calls uncertainly, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Eddie, is that you?”

The man’s head perks up, looking in Steve’s direction. “Harrington?” He replies, sounding just as uncertain and confused. “Is that you in there?”

“Eddie, as in Eddie Munson?” Dr. Pierce asks Steve, still unmoving as he stares at you, seemingly unharmed.

“Yeah…” Steve breathes out, still looking stunned. “And he doesn’t look like he’s aged a day.”

You and Eddie start to walk over when a soldier barks at you to stay back, both of you nervously putting your hands up as you look between the armed soldiers, Steve, and Pierce.

“It’s me, Dr. Pierce. It’s really me.” You insist, looking at him pleadingly. “And this is Eddie, he helped me find my way back. He saved me.” You add, motioning to the man beside you. The two of you are close together; you stand slightly in front of Eddie, like you’re protecting him. Eddie just offers a sheepish smile and a shrug, like it was no big deal.

“Sir? What do we do?” One of the soldiers asks, glancing in Dr. Pierce’s direction.

The two of you look exhausted, dirty, hungry, but… Harmless. No worse for wear despite the time spent on the other side.

“Bring them in.” Pierce orders. “No excessive force. They’ve been through a lot.”

The soldiers nod, lowering their weapons and urging you both to come forward. You look particularly relieved, while Eddie appears mostly unphased by all of it.

“Thank god, I need a shower so badly.” You announce with a happy laugh, walking toward them as you shake your head and make a disgusted face. “No one smell me, I’m begging you.”

If anyone finds your behavior unsettling or strange, they don’t say so. Everyone mostly looks relieved it didn’t turn into some kind of fight. While there is something off about how you’re acting, Dr. Pierce can’t find it in himself to feel anything besides relief at your return.

Steve stands motionless and tense as Eddie approaches, looking every bit like he’s seen a ghost. There is no excitement, no relief, no… Trust. Like this is all a bad dream and he just wants to wake up.

Just before you and Eddie pass the two of them, you flash another excited smile. “And not a moment too soon – I’m so thirsty.” You look over at Eddie, who nods in agreement, before you continue walking toward the field tent in the distance, flanked on either side by armed soldiers.

Eddie stops by Steve, giving him a tilted smile. “Hey Harrington, didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I could say the same to you,” Steve replies, his tone apprehensive and flat. If Eddie catches on, he doesn’t show it, just continuing to show that same smile – like he knows something you don’t.

“What can I say?” He offers with a shrug and a wink before he continues to trail after you and toward the growing crowd beyond. “It’s good to be back.”

thanks for reading, please let me know if you liked it!!

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x afab!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #eddie munson oneshot #flayed!eddie munson #kas!eddie #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #posting a oneshot that barely explains an entire fic universe you've never told anyone about :)#myos ideas #myo4munson

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puck-bunnies · 1 month

Text

vampire love

jack hughes x fem!reader

warnings: nsfw 18+, basically pure word porn, oral sex (m and f receiving), throat fucking, unprotected sex (p in v), praising, dirty talk, not proof read

“i fuck her like a god, that’s without a doubt. that bitch gon give me top, that’s with out a doubt.”

word count: 3k

♪ - vampire love, yung bruh

we sit around the burning logs of the campfire, the sun recently just setting as the waves crash along the shore. the bright sun and foggy clouds washing away to leave the stars scattered along the dark sky.

i sit on jack's lap, my head resting against his chest and his hands comb through my hair. it feels like old times, the summers we would come here as kids and spend endless hours outside together.

jack’s family had previously retreated back to the house, falling asleep as me and jack stay under the beaming stars. my eyes are lost in the fire, head gone into a fuzzy state.

i finally snap out of it once i see the fire die down, the amber light not flooding the area around us. i get up from jack's lap, grabbing another log of wood from the pile and throwing it on top of the dying flames. i repeat the action, grabbing another two logs and perfectly laying them on the pit.

once the logs are placed well for the fire to come back to life, i rest back on jack's lap. i'm stunned once i feel something hard underneath me. "jack." i mumble, feeling his hard cock against my leg.

"i'm sorry baby. you were bending over, and this things got a mind of it's own." he chuckles, not ashamed of the boner making the crotch of his jeans tighten. i let my hand travel from his chest down to graze his abs, his jeans tightening even more with my teasing fingers.

my fingers don't stop, going lower getting a groan from jack's lips. "don't start something you can't finish y/n."

"i can deal with it." i whisper, letting my fingers rub just above the waistband of his jeans. jack's jaw tightens, clenching as i move to his belt. i climb off of his lap, setting one of the yard pillows on the ground before kneeling on it between his legs. my fingers undo his belt, button and zipper.

jack raises his hips, helping me maneuver his jeans and boxers down his legs to pool at his ankles. my one hand rests on his thigh, the other wrapping around the base of jack's thick cock. finger traces up the one prominent vein on his length, squeezing lightly at his almost pulsating hardness, getting a soft groan from his lips.

my thumb rises to his tip, swirling around the pre-cum that soaks his needy tip. jack sucks in a breath as i continue to tease him, he resists the urge to buck his hips up into my hands, begging to feel the friction against him.

i form my hand in a circle, slowly running my hand down him. jack lets out a long harsh breath, "oh shit baby." he groans.

"you like that?" i smirk, swirling my thumb around his tip again, pumping back down his base.

my other hand squeezes his thigh, "oh fuck yes." he submissively whimpers out. a hum passes my lips as i replace my thumb with my tongue, circling around his salty tip. my eyes stay on jack's as his start to roll back in his head, thighs tightening beneath my grasp.

i can feel the heat in my core burning, wetness starting to ruin my panties. all my body wishes for is to be filled by the very cock that my tongue is swirling around. but my mind wants to please jack, to have my throat to his desire.

that's why i don't mind when his hands push through my hair, forming a makeshift ponytail to keep the hair out of my face. slowly pushing down my head to fill my mouth with him.

his tip hits the back of my throat, i fight the urge to gag, wanting to be able to last for jack. my tongue acts like a cushion for his cock, letting it slide against his veiny cock with every push down of my head.

because of the way jack's fucking my throat, i somehow take his whole length inside my mouth. leaving both of my hands to steady myself on his thighs, squeezing his muscles causing him to softly groan. his head slowly rolls back, closing his eyes while taking in the blissful moment.

usually i would prefer for jack to keep his eyes on me whenever we're having sex, wanting to feel the love surging between us with the eye contact. but this feels different, the neediness of his groans and my openness to whatever jack wants, i don't care as much. this feels like pure lust, not a loving moment.

i hallow my cheeks out more, letting jack fill me up more, earning a deep groan to leave his mouth as it is continued to roll back. "oh fuck y/n, just like that." he praises, pushing and pulling my head down faster. he starts to buck his hips with his pace, needing more from me then he can get. "al, almost there." he moans out.

jack's cock twitches in my mouth, quickly followed with ropes of cum spilling down my throat. his grip shortly tightens around my hair before completely falling down, letting me take back control over my head.

i slowly bob my head a few more times, letting jack chase his long awaited high. i let his cock pop out of my mouth, letting the softened cock lay down. jack's cum spills down my throat as i swallow it, letting the warm sticky substance run down me.

it takes a moment for jack to come back to normal, his chest heaving up and down as he gains his breath back from his orgasm. "shit baby, that was.. amazing." jack compliments on the new way i sucked him off. "but i'm not going to let go unrewarded." he smirks.

he stands up, towering over me as he collects his boxers and jeans from his ankles. he looks down at me with almost a degrading manner, his stare makes me feel small, like i could be damaged by a pin dropping. jack's hand cups my jaw, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"lets get you inside." he coos at me, taking my hand and helping me rise to my feet. he practically drags me in the house, his mouth craving the taste of me that he misses. we slide the glass door open, trying to be quiet and not wake the entire hughes family.

he stops me in the darkened living room right before the couch, a prominent smirk growing on his face. he softly pushes me down on the couch, stunning me as my ass hits the soft cushions. "what're you doing jack?" he doesn't answer me, dropping to his knees between my legs like i once was to him.

jack guides my legs apart, looking up my short tennis skirt to my mess of my panties. a proud smirk resting on his face as he sees what he does to me, how even just having his cock in my mouth can have me soaked. he reaches his fingers out, softy stroking up my wet folds.

"jack, what're you doing? someone could catch us."

he hungrily licks his lips, "i'm willing to take that risk." he hooks his fingers in the waistband of my panties. "do you trust me?"

"always."

that's all it takes for jack to slide my panties down my soft legs, pushing my skirt up to show off my core. i can hear his breath hitch, looking at my gleaming folds as their coated in my wetness.

“such a pretty pussy baby. so wet for me, from only sucking my cock?” he husks at me, pressing a soft teasing kiss to my inner thigh, slowly getting rougher with ever inch closer to where i need him the most.

i bite my lip, nodding to his degrading words. his kisses finally get to my core, pressing a soft kiss to my swollen clit. my lungs suck in a harsh breath, my jaw clenching as jack works slowly.

he finally sticks his tongue out, swirling around my bud of nerves. my hands find their way to his hair, pulling at his roots as i try to steady myself. i can feel a smirk spread on jack’s face, looking up into my eyes as i stare down into his.

jack’s tongue darts out of his mouth, kitty licking my aching clit. “please baby.” i beg out loud for jack. his hands go to my mouth, covering my mouth as i speak too loudly.

“shh, you gotta be quiet if you want his to happen.” he hushes me. i nod against his hand, my eyes softening. i’ll do anything for jack’s touch, beg embarrassingly just for him to get a taste of me. “good girl.”

he keeps his hand against my mouth, he knows me well enough to know that i won’t stay quiet enough without his hand there. his other hand takes one of my ankles, putting my foot up on the couch to let him have a better angle of myself. i mirror his action with my other leg, folding my knees almost up to my chest.

once i’m in the perfect position, jack starts. instead of working on my clit, he goes to my folds. running his tongue down to my needy hole as it was previously clenched around nothing. he’s quick to start slurping on me, fitting my whole slit in his mouth.

i try not to make a peep, jack trusting me enough to remove his hand from my mouth, pressing his thumb to my clit. he rubs circles around my puffy and needy bud, i have to bite down harshly on my bottom lip.

“taste so good baby.” jack hums into pussy.

curses flow out of my mouth softly, trying not to wake his sleeping family through the thin walls. the overstimulation of his tongue plunging deep into me and his thumb rubbing quickly on my slit making it almost impossible to keep myself quiet.

jack’s eyes stay on mine, watching as i struggle to stay quiet on how good he makes me feel. “doing such a good job.” his words make my walls vibrate again.

my thighs start to gravitate towards each other, almost crushing jack’s head between them. his large hand has to guide them back open, his skin harshly gripping me.

it’s not long before i can feel my stomach tightening, the overstimulation making my whole body shutter. my orgasm almost coming over me, “i’m so close jack.” i rush out in a hushed moan.

his tongue is fast, exploring deep inside me as his thumb is quicker then ever. “it’s okay.. let it out.” i can’t take it anymore, relaxing my body as the knot that was unbearably tight loosens all over jack’s tongue.

my head rolls back on the couch, chest heaving as jack helps me chase my high, hushed moans rippling through the air. curses leave my lips mixing with gasps of jack’s name.

once i feel my orgasm completely wash over me, jack works slowly to clean my folds up. getting rid of the remains of my orgasm littering my centre. jack presses a kiss on my inner thigh once again.

“you did such a good job.” he whispers.

he climbs up my body, pressing a kiss to my collarbone then to my jaw. he finishes it by pressing another one onto my lips, the faint taste of each other in our mouths as jack slips his tongue into my mouth.

my chest still tries to catch up to my lungs, trying to regulate my breath as my orgasm still lingers in my veins.

jack backs off of me, standing up above me once again. that’s when i see it, “how are you hard.. again?” i softly giggle, my eyes staying on his strained jeans as they contain his growing size.

“the sound, sight and taste of you was too much.” he whispers. “i need you so bad y/n.”

a smile appears on my face, i fold down my skirt off of my stomach as it was piled up. standing up to level my height with jack, quickly bending down to grab my discarded panties, not wanting to leave any evidence of our actions in the living room. i stuff them into jack’s jean pocket, lacing my hand into his.

“how about this time, we go somewhere we won’t get caught.” my words are soft and suggestive, leading him out of the living room towards his bedroom.

the unmade bedcovers scrunch at the bottom of the mattress, the darkness of the room concealing our bodies as jack seels the door with a lock. before jack can turn back around, i strip my shirt off of me, throwing them on the ground to soon be forgotten.

the soft glow of the moonlight peaks through the window, illuminating me and jack’s bodies as we lower on the mattress. our bodies are quick to entangle each other. i lay on my back, being engulfed by the soft mattress as jack lays between my legs.

our clothes were somehow discarded onto the ground leaving only our naked bodies to be met by the cold air.

our demeanour stays the same, venturing away from our usual love making to a rougher style. i can't complain, the way jack is acting it turning me on more then ever, the cocky and sex drawn jack has the heat in between my legs pooling again.

he's quick to rub his tip up and down my aching folds, teasing my entrance before finally slowly lining up with my hole and pushing in. his hips push in slowly at first, letting me adjust to his almost painful size as he bottoms me out.

stretching a leg over his broad shoulders, he presses down farther somehow, filling me completely. a silent moan falls from my open mouth as my chest doesn’t have enough hair to let a real one out, my lungs grave oxygen but my nerves are too weak to grant it.

jack’s strong hands grip the flesh of my thighs, adding a soft slap to them as he rocks his hips back. when he thrusts in this time it’s harsh, snapping his hips to mine with a soft sound of skin slapping. a quiet, “oh shit.” falls from my lips as my hands bunch up the covers in my palms.

with my words jack’s smile grows, he leans down, pressing a kiss to my lips to silence me. his hips quicken with rhythmic thrusts, his skin hitting against my thighs with each buck of his hips. jack’s tongue slips into my mouth, the still faint taste of each other lingers between our mouths.

my grip on the balls of material between my fingers losen, the pads of my fingertips lingering up jack’s arms to his hair. i gently pull his roots receiving a muffled groan from his throat that feeds into mine with our heated kiss.

with this being the second round of my orgasms, it doesn’t take long for another one to come. my back starts to lift off the mattress, arching into his chest. the reoccurring knot forms in my stomach, the familiar tightening of my joints and heaving of my chest.

“i’m so close baby.”

jack’s hips keep their pace, but with every thrust they become sloppier. my muscles clench around the long cock continuing to pump in me, it’s gets another groan from jack’s plump lips.

“let it out pretty girl. make a mess.” he degrades once again in my ear.

it only takes three or four more snaps of his hips for me to undo underneath his warmth. moans litter out of my mouth, echoing around the room and feeding into jack’s ears. the back of my head grinds into the pillow underneath me, riding my high as i feel his cock twitch in me following with his soft and warm ropes of cum.

only a couple more strokes of his cock and we both run off of our orgasms, my leg falling off of his shoulder. jack softly collapsing on me, his head falling onto our chests as we catch our breaths.

after a few moments, jack props himself up again, swiftly pulling himself out of me. his hands run underneath my back, helping me to sit up on the bed. “let’s get you in the shower.”

jack helps me into the bathroom, letting me on the counter as he starts the shower, letting it warm up before he helps me stand in the shower. before he joins me in the shower, he grabs a washcloth, running it under the warm water to wash me off.

once the insides of me are clean from the remains of my orgasm, he wipes over his length. “you did just a good job baby.” jack presses his lips up to my temple, giving me a soft kiss before letting us underneath the hot streaming water.

my mind is still a mess, i can only mumble to his words. i let him shower me, washing all over my body to remove the sweat from our actions.

#jack hughes x y/n #jack hughes x you #jack hughes one shot #jack hughes fanfiction #jack hughes fic #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #nhl oneshot #nhl x reader #nhl fic #hockey player x reader #hockey imagine #hockey fic #puck-bunnies

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stardust-kenobi · 22 days

Text

Nerves

Crosshair x F!Reader

Warnings: SMUT, angst, fluff, friends to lovers, soft and slightly ooc Crosshair (not much though, I think he really is a softy)

Word count: 2.7k

Summary: You'd been helping Crosshair work on his aim after his traumatic experience being held captive by the Empire. After not much progress, you get into a heated discussion when he tries to give up, which turns even more heated after he admits his feelings for you.

Read on AO3

“Try it again” You paced behind his stoic stance, doing your best to encourage him without showing any sign of your very present empathy. The slow-setting Pabu sun would still provide you both with another hour of visibility. The amber glow warmed your skin, which was a welcomed change of environment from being cramped on the ship for days on end.

“Why?” Crosshair growled, fueled by the burning rage built up by his defeat. The tremble in his fingertips broke your heart, but you could see that he’d made progress from the exercises. It was slow, sure, but there were definitely improvements. T

“Because I said so. You won’t make any progress if you don’t keep trying” You emphasized, doing your best not to express your impatience with his pessimism.

“It’s useless, Y/N” He lowered his blaster from his shaking hand and let it fall from his grasp before lowering himself to sit on the rock beneath him. You sighed, but this time your breath didn’t hold any frustration, only disappointment in his self-defeat. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what he’d been through, and you still didn’t know the extent of the torture he’d endured. Months had passed since he and Omega escaped. Omega had worked with him a few times, mostly with meditation, but you were better skilled with blasters and aim.

Crosshair held his head low, focusing his vision on the sand beneath his sore feet. You joined him without another word, sitting next to him on the rocks that scattered the shore. There were no words to comfort him in this moment, so you opted out of a conversation this time. The breeze from the ocean enveloped your frame, almost as if pushing you closer to Crosshair.

The seconds passed. Then minutes. All the while you soaked in each other’s company, for good or for bad. He was growing annoyed with you lately, despite being one of his closest friends, all because you were insistent upon helping to heal his trauma from his captivity with the Empire.

As the moments passed, Crosshair never tried to leave his spot next to you. He didn’t push you away this time. This, you decided, was an achievement.

The half-hidden sun drifted slowly below the horizon, replaced then by a casting a blue-toned light from the rising moon. It was peaceful, sitting together, communicating without saying a word.

“I’ll probably head back soon. We’ll try again tomorrow” You spoke gently when breaking the silence.

“I’m done” Crosshair spoke softly, his tone was firm and assured.

“Cross-” You sighed.

“I said I’m done” He reiterated, interrupting your plea.

“You’re just going to give up?” You scoffed.

“Seems so” He shrugged.

You crossed your arms to your chest and stood in front of him now, staring at him in disappointment.

“You can stand there all night if you’d like. I’m not changing my mind” He muttered, finally looking up to meet your gaze.

You pondered your next breath, but ultimately fell short on your words. With a subtle nod in his direction, you began walking away from your peaceful corner on the beach.

“I’m sorry for what they did to you, Crosshair. But you can’t punish yourself forever” You spoke calmly as the distance between you grew.

“What did you say?” He sneered, turning his body toward you, still sitting on the rock.

You froze in your tracks. You’d struck a nerve. Good.

“You heard me”

He slowly stood up and turned to you, “You think it’s my fault that I’m not improving?”

“You are improving, Crosshair. But, you’re giving up too easily”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about”

“I care about you, Crosshair. Believe it or not, I do. I know you’re not used to that but…you’re going to have to get used to it because I’m not going anywhere. And I’m not giving up on you”

His eyes grew subtly sorrowful as he stared into you, absorbing your words slowly. His head drifted from your gaze over to the open water that was now glistening in the moonlight.

“It's..my nerves” He said shamefully.

“Okay…” You tried to understand what he meant. Maybe you’d been pushing him too hard “Would it help if we took a break for a few d-”

“You. You make me…nervous” He admitted with a loud sigh trailing the end of his words like he had to force himself to say it.

As you pondered what he’d just said, your heart fluttered with unexpected excitement.

“What? How do I make you nervous?” You breathed out with what was almost a chuckle.

“Forget it” he scoffed, picking up his blaster and turning back toward the island, passing you in the process. You grab his arm to stop him. He doesn’t resist even though your gentle touch should not have stopped him in his tracks, but it did tonight.

“No. Tell me what you mean.” You demanded.

Crosshair contemplated it for a second before yanking his arm from your grasp, “You really want to know? Fine”.

He looked toward the island as if to check and make sure you were alone.

“I can’t…I can’t think around you. I can’t focus” He lowered his head,”I’ve tried to ignore how I feel around you, but it’s been just as useless as you training me”

For the first time in a long time, you were speechless. Crosshair was not a man of many words, nor was he one to express his feelings.

“Crosshair-” You tried to answer but he was uninterested in your counter argument. What he didn’t know was that there was no counter argument to be had.

“Don’t. Just don’t” He groaned.

“I love you” You hurriedly responded spitting it out like it was stuck on your tongue. You laid it all out plainly and simply. You loved him. You had for months.

Crosshair’s expression held a look of pure disbelief that quickly transformed to warmth and content.

Your longing gaze pierced through his tough exterior. Something ignited within you as a tension pulled you into him, leaving hardly any room between the two of you

“I…” You whispered softly, but lost yourself in his eyes.

Without another breath, Crosshair curled his finger beneath your chin, pulling your lips up to meet his.

Nothing this electrifying had ever grazed your skin before. His lips pressed passionately against yours as if he’d waited years to do this. You leaned into him, resting your hands on his shoulders as your mouths became intertwined so rhythmically.

Every fantasy you’d ever had of a moment like this that had always been shoved to the back of your mind came flooding back. Never did you think he’d feel the same way, but everything about his lips on yours just felt right. His finger beneath your chin trembled, and you were unsure how much it was from the overwhelming nerves of kissing you or the already present shake in his hands. You wrapped your hand around his, intertwining your fingers to calm him. The kiss was deep and raw, devouring each other as the motions intensified. A warmth spread through your body while your heart nearly lept from your chest.

Slowly and hesitantly, you pulled away from the kiss to look up into his uncertain gaze.

“You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that” He whispered, and a smile crept upon his face. Something rare and welcome that you never saw too often with him.

“Me too” You smiled back, holding his hands in yours.

You wasted no more time before pulling him for another kiss. It was heavy and breathless. Your hands wandered from his to the firm muscles on his chest. Crosshair let his hands wander, too, until they hovered gently above your breasts.

“Touch me” You breathed in between the motions of your lips.

Your permission was all he needed. His hands explored your body like he was lost in the dark. Like he was starving for you. The boulders on this corner area of the beach kept you hidden in your own oasis, with very little concern of being discovered. Your fingertips found the hem of his black shirt, and tugged at it gently.

“Here?” He pondered.

“Why not?” You smirked. He nodded and helped you remove his shirt, revealing his battle scars and perfectly carved muscle. You admired it, trailing your hands down his abdomen.

Conveniently, you had a blanket in your satchel that you brought with you. Crosshair rushed over to lay it out. He then took your hand in his and guided you to it.

“Lay down,” He instructed. As you did so, he hovered above you, his lips exploring your exposed neck and chest just above the neckline of your dress. You whimpered softly, unable to contain yourself even with the slightest of his touch.

His nervous touch was endearing as he traced up your thigh, searching for your most sensitive area. You shuffled your hips a bit, encouraging him to keep going

“Are you sure?” He asked, his brows furrowed. It was a look of longing, concern, and desperation all in one. Crosshair needed you, but wouldn’t dare touch you like this without assurance.

“Yes,” You breathed.

He pulled your panties down, and you lifted your hips to help him remove them completely.

He returned his fingers to your aching heat and discovered your arousal for him, which earned a small whimper from his lips. Crosshair knew exactly what he wanted to do to you. He’d surely thought about it enough in his head while he sat alone in his quarters, pumping himself to the fantasy of having you in his grasp like this. But, he was letting his nerves get the better of him now, and felt weary about how he’d perform for you.

“Cross, please” You begged with a tone of reassurance. His hand rested on your thigh, just beneath where you craved his touch.

You felt his hand tremble subtly against your skin.

“Hey,” You started, pulling his attention to you, “it's just me and you”

He nodded and kissed you hard, letting himself dive into you again, and found his fingers sliding through the wetness between your legs. He rubbed your clit in delicate circles and you bucked your hips up into his touch. He found a perfect rhythm and responded to your body’s signals as he felt them.

“Maker…You’re so wet for me” He muttered in total awe of the effect he’d had on you. Looking down to your exposed cunt as the bottom of your dress now rested against your abdomen. Suddenly his middle finger found its way to your entrance and slid inside, pumping slowly and pushing you to the edge while his thumb kept working at your clit.

Crosshair was propped on his side next to you, and instinctively ground his hips against your body, overcome with his desire to feel friction. He added another finger inside and fucked you as you rolled your hips into his hand. Each thrust of his curled digits grazed your most sensitive spot against your walls. A tingling sensation bundled and tightened in your lower belly, pushing you closer to your climax.

“Don’t stop” You begged, and he listened.

“Come for me, darling” He instructed, which sent chills down your body. Hearing him say something so arousing was unfamiliar but absolutely intoxicating.

With his lips at your neck and his fingers working eagerly inside of you, your release was so close now. Your senses were deliciously overwhelmed.

“Crosshair” You cried his name before rolling your eyes into the back of your head, seeing stars, overwhelmed with the pleasure that flowed through your body as your orgasm overcame you. Your hips rolled up into his body still hovered above you and your back arched in response to the sensational feeling radiating through you. Your fingers dug into his arm but he never slowed his pace. Crosshair was absolutely infatuated with watching you fall apart for him. You came down from your euphoric high slowly, catching your breath in the process.

“Are you alright?” He whispered. This was a side of him you never expected. You knew he could be caring and kind when he wanted to be, but seeing that translated to handling your body was a pleasant surprise. Your cunt hopelessly clenched around the emptiness as he removed his fingers.

“Never better. Now, please fuck me” You demanded, chuckling softly.

“Only because you asked so nicely,” He wasted not another moment before helping you lean up to remove your dress completely. Your breasts fell from the restraint of the fabric and caught his eye immediately. He took them into his hands massaging them gently before bringing his lips to your mounds and kissing them.

He pulled his pants down just enough to release his length that begged to be touched. You stared in awe of his size. You opened your legs slightly, allowing room for him to adjust himself in between your legs.

As he lined himself up with your entrance, he looked into your eyes and devoured you with a loving gaze. He kissed you softly before slowly sinking his cock into your wetness.

Crosshair choked on his next breath, your warmth encasing him perfectly as you took his length with ease. Once he bottomed out within you, he whimpered softly and buried his face into your neck. He was slow at first, allowing you to adjust to his size, which you probably needed as he was bigger than you expected.

“Fuck, Y/N” He cursed, overwhelmed by it all. To be able to take you like this, having you begging for his cock, you writhing beneath him…it was all wonderfully too much, and he loved it.

“Maker, it feels so good, Cross” You encouraged him. His cock stretched you open with each thrust as he picked up the pace. He fit inside you like you were made for each other, and you felt a closeness and intimacy you’d never experienced before. It was indescribable.

You held his face in your hands as he thrust into you faster and harder, holding his gaze while you both let profanities and cries of pleasure fly from your lips. If there was anyone nearby, they would have heard you, but it was a remote area, and you could feel safe. Each curl of his hips snapping into you sent your mind and body into a frenzy of pleasure.

“You take me so well, sweetheart” He praised, turning his attention to looking down where he disappeared inside of you. Crosshair was no virgin, but he’d never experienced such intimacy and passion for someone like he did for you in this moment. He wanted this for so long, same as you. The months of lingering glances at one another, your heart racing each time your skin grazed his on the ship, the way you’d cared for him since he’d escaped Tantiss. It was all leading up to this moment of pure desire for one another, and you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

“I won’t last much longer” He

You nodded to assure him it was okay. It was then that you felt another orgasm quickly creeping up on you. He could feel you tightening and knew you were close.

“Come on my cock, that’s it” He spoke softly, his words sending you over the edge.

It burst open, washing over your entire body, more captivating and intense than the first release. You dug your nails into the rigid muscles of his back, pulling him into you as he kept his pace. You cried out, feeling overtaken by the pleasure that electrified your entire body. His thrust began to falter and his body shook beneath your fingertips.

Crosshair’s moans were low and rough as he reached his climax, spilling his release deep inside you, his brows furrowed and face twisted in pleasure.

You both took time to catch your breath, soaking in the highs you were riding and taking in this feeling of closeness with one another. He was careful to remove himself from you, knowing you were both sensitive.

He lay beside you, wrapping his arms around your body and pulling you into him.

“I love you too” He said suddenly, confusing you for a moment, before realizing that he was finally responding to your declaration of love to him earlier.

You smiled up at him and laid your head onto his chest. As you listened to a combination of the gentle waves and the beating of his heart, you felt warm and loved for the first time in a long time.

#Crosshair #crosshair x reader #crosshair smut #fluff #angst #the bad batch #tbb #crosshair x f!reader #crosshair x you #reader insert #tbb fanfiction #bad batch #pabu #my work #stardust-kenobi

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notjustjavierpena · 6 months

Note

Oops, I accidentally sent the request before actually typing it, lol

Here we go again:

The family is away for summer vacation and reader bumps into an old high school boyfriend of hers at the beach while Javi is playing with the kids (making an adorable mess with sand castles), and he sees it at some distance and get super jealous about it, but only get to talk to her about it after dinner when the kids are asleep in their hotel room. Idk, something about that with obviously make up sex for reader to show him how much she’s all his and etc

Random thoughts, I know, but I’m sure you’ll be able to work magic with this

Sand

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost

A/N: Hi hi hi, and so sorry for the wait. I hope this fulfils your heart’s desires, my friend. Thank you for following my work ❤️

Summary: You bump into your high school sweetheart on holiday and Javier is not a fan.

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader/You (No y/n)

Tags: +18 smut, jealousy, javi is whipped for reader, dirty talk, piv sex, rough sex, bit of roleplay, creampie, use of papi, possessiveness, aren’t they just the cutest?

Word count: 3.1k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51262198

Sand

Children’s laughter travels through the air to meet your ears along with the sound of a soft summer breeze, making you put down the book that you’ve been holding in your hands. It’s impossibly sunny hence why you’ve decided to hold up the book, shielding its pages from the rays, and the skin of your back glistens with sweat. There are seagulls in the air, busy noises from families around you, and the therapeutic push and pull of the waves.

Beside you, you have a glass of strawberry lemonade and in front of you, you have a view of your husband enthusiastically digging moats around the various sandcastles that have been scattered across your chosen spot on the beach. You feel refreshed and relaxed; just how you’re supposed to feel on your vacation during the hottest days of summer.

It had been Javier’s idea to go away for a week to your hometown. You are thankful for his suggestion because you would never have voiced your wish for a break out loud yet he had sensed it despite your silence.

You’ve visited your parents, yes, but the majority of days have been spent on the beach where you’ve gotten some quality time with yourself. Javier has managed to tire out both of your kids with endless activities, and the evenings have been filled with long, slow kisses on the hotel room balcony. You have hoped for more but a shared hotel room means that you will have to keep everything PG-13.

“Look, Mommy!”

Your thoughts are interrupted by Inés’ excited shout. She has placed seashells on the biggest of the sandcastles’ walls, making them imitate grand windows.

“They’re beautiful, baby,” you praise adoringly.

Lucas is by the shore with a bucket, filling it with water for the moats. He beams at you when he returns, and you smile right back at your beautiful boy.

“Remind Papá to take a picture of you when you’re finished,” you say loudly for Javier to hear as well. He looks back at you, grinning with genuine joy and happiness but you’re too busy staring at his happy trail just above the hem of his bathing shorts. He notices.

“What’re you looking at?” He winks.

“Nothing,” you say back and shoo him, holding up your book for show, “Go keep an eye on your offspring, Dad. I’m very busy.”

The day continues. You manage to go through a few more chapters, occasionally watching Javier over the top of your book as he is enjoying himself.

And then it is late afternoon but the sun is nowhere near descending yet. You are interrupted in your reading by a shadow above you, and you don’t manage to catch yourself as you automatically tell Javier off, “Honey. You’re standing right in front of the great big reading lamp in the sky.”

The shadow laughs and then you realize it isn’t your husband. You look up to stare at a familiar face anyhow, and your face grows hot. With quick motions, you put your book down and push yourself to stand.

“Jonathan!” You exclaim in what you hope is a calm and collected voice. You know it is a possibility, being in your hometown, that you run into your high school ex-boyfriend but it still catches you off guard.

“You mean ‘honey’ right?” Jonathan jokes. You laugh politely and awkwardly, and despite the ring on his finger, Jonathan doesn’t seem to back down. He hugs you, splaying his large palm on your back - right under where your bikini top sits.

Afterward, he gives you a once over with his eyes, and out of the corner of your eye, you spot Javier glancing in your direction.

“God, you look well,” Jonathan continues, “Still in Laredo?”

“Still in Laredo,” you confirm, curling your toes into the warm sand. Jonathan looks almost exactly the same; blond, wide-eyed, and pale. He still sports a t-shirt with a print of a ‘70s band logo on the front that you remember him buying when it was cool.

You realize that you haven’t done anything to make conversation, quickly adding, “And you? You haven’t aged a day.”

“Never escaped, teachin’ at our old school,” he shrugs. He eyes Inés and Lucas but only briefly, turning back to you when he realizes that you are here with a man too. Javier is throwing daggers his way but for once, he has no intention of interrupting which is fair since he would have to leave his children unattended for the time it took to play macho.

“Course you are,” you smile genuinely. It suits him perfectly to be one of the people who keep the cycle of the quiet town alive, even if it is by simply replacing your old teachers, “And the ring? I couldn’t help but notice that we’re both married.”

Jonathan tells you briefly about his wife and kids. You don’t actually care, but he lights up as he speaks about his two daughters and that’s the most important thing in this whole conversation. He has a dreamy look in his eyes as he finishes, “And to think we thought it would be us.”

By instinct, you reach out to touch his arm and then you giggle softly because the image of the two of you getting old together is absurd. You have everything you need in Javier Peña… Who is fuming without you noticing.

You hug Jonathan goodbye and the rest of the afternoon is suspiciously quiet.

Inés and Lucas fall asleep quickly, exhausted from the amount of fresh air they’ve breathed in today. Outside the sky is turning rose-colored from the evening catching up on you; the sunset will be long and beautiful. But you don’t want beauty with how much tension is between the two of you.

You are brushing your teeth side-by-side in the hotel bathroom. It’s been a tight-lipped dinner. You honestly just want to go to sleep so you can start over tomorrow.

Javier finishes brushing his teeth first. He waits for you, looking like someone who is contemplating whether to say something or not.

You finish brushing your own teeth just as he finally makes a decision, off-handedly throwing a remark at you.

“You sure were friendly with Jonathan earlier,” he says simply.

You let out a long sigh, stepping away from the sink after putting away your toothbrush, “Jesus, Javi, I knew this would happen.”

“What?” He leans against the sink.

“You don’t have to act like a fucking… I don’t know. It is every damn time a guy even looks at me - and it’s just not very attractive,” you are exhausted.

“Excuse me for liking you to myself,” he looks away, “I like having you alone.”

You decide on something at that moment.

“You already have me. Don’t you know?” You ask in a voice close to a purr. Javier raises a brow in annoyance, but you don’t give in to a fight so easily. Instead, you go to close and lock the bathroom door.

“Know what?” He asks impatiently.

“That you’re the only one?” You watch him standing against the sink counter. He doesn’t look as annoyed after those words but he still isn’t overly impressed with your actions earlier. There’s no way that he doesn’t know what clicking the lock means though. If only he knew the power you have over him, the power that you’re soon to make a display of.

You cross the room to stand in front of him. You tilt your chin upwards to look up at his face but his eyes stray from yours the second you catch them. He can get so pissy sometimes, a part of the game, but you’ll take the challenge especially when you haven’t had his cock inside of you for a week. At this point, your core aches for him.

Gently, you put two fingers under his chin and pull it down towards his chest so he is forced to look at you. Your smile is sweet as honey, “Thoughts of you keep me up all night sometimes. Hot and bothered, legs barely knowing what to do.”

There’s a pause where you can only hear his breathing matching yours. His pupils have blown wider, signaling desire for you.

“What do you think of?” He finally gives in.

“I think about all the ways you turn me on,” you tap his chin but then let your hand go down. It skims down his bare chest and over each ripple of muscle that quivers with each touch.

“Yeah?” He murmurs. His eyes flick down between the two of you for less than a second when your hand hovers over his happy trail. The second you catch him doing it, your own eyes follow suit. It’s too hot to wear his usual pajama bottoms, so it’s so easy to spot that he is hard already, showing off the outline of his dick in his gray briefs. There’s a stain of precome.

“Yeah, baby,” you don’t even hesitate, reaching down to palm the length of him. His breath hitches in his throat the second he is touched, and your voice lowers to a whisper, “All I do is fantasize about you. The way you kiss, the way you touch me, and mmm, the way you fuck me.”

“Mhm,” he hums softly in the way men do when they don’t really know what to say during their current state of mind. You have him scatterbrained with your touch, a moan falling from his lips and replacing the hum when you snake your hand into his underwear, wrapping your fingers around his cock to stroke him lazily.

“You like this?” You ask but don’t give him time to answer since you tighten your fist around his girth. He forces a nod and you lean up to kiss his lips teasingly soft, “You really think I would ever touch another man like this? There’s no way. No comparison to how you look when I do it.”

“Go on and I might forgive the eyes you were sending him,” he tells you with a hint of edge in his voice. He sounds more desperate than confident, more wanting than he might want to let on. It fills you with self-satisfaction because you know that what you are saying about him goes for you too; you’ve ruined everyone else for each other.

“I told you I was doing no such thing,” you reply. He pulses in your hand, precome sliding down over your knuckles when you make your fist a tighter fit, reminding him of what waits between your legs. You go a little faster, and Javier’s breathing speeds up.

“Liar,” he challenges raggedly.

“As if he could ever make me come as hard as you,” you egg him on, patiently waiting for him to lose control with you, “There’s only you, Papí.”

That seems to do something. Javier yanks your hand away, and you know the strength behind the action because he breathes the same way that he breathes when teetering on the edge of release. He has stopped himself but it’s only to enter your personal space more than you even thought possible.

He grabs at your hips almost violently, steers you backwards a few paces so he can flip the positions. Now, you are the one against the sink counter and it gnaws painfully into the small of your back. There’s an air of consideration for a moment as he checks in on you during the beginning of what can be regarded as playing with each other. You give him a dirty look, a small nod and he smirks back.

“Javi,” you mumble in fake confusion, reaching up to put your hands on his chest but you don’t get to do much because one of Javier’s hands comes up to catch one wrist after the other. It’s so easy for him to do, both because of his job and his physical superiority.

He twists your hands behind your back and roughly shoves you down over the sink. He lowers his voice as he speaks, “You’re not gonna wake up anyone, are we clear?”

“We’re clear,” you promise, finding his eyes in the mirror. If he touches you now, he’ll find you wetter than you have been in a long while. What is it about holidays and hotel rooms? Mixed with not having been able to touch each other since you have arrived here, it is a dangerous combination.

“Te deseo mucho, amor,” he says softly and out of character.

“I love you,” you reply.

He dives back into the scenario. His other hand tugs at your cotton shorts, dragging them over the curve of your ass and down your long legs. You step out of them as soon as they lay around your feet.

“I’m gonna let go,” he says and shakes your hands in his grip to indicate what he is talking about, “But only so you can cover your mouth for me and I can get out of these fucking underpants.”

He does as he said he would. You move to prop yourself up on your elbows, neck already having strained from the mere moments you’ve had to feel the cold porcelain against your chest.

Behind you, there’s shuffling. You cover your mouth as he enters you swiftly, jerking forward at the intrusion that has you panting damply into your palm. He fills you to the brim, stretches your cunt as only he can, and then he fucks you - hard, rough, and fast.

Your head spins, your knees bang against the cabinet’s front, and you try to strain the muscles in your legs so they don’t. He knows the ticking bomb that is your children sleeping soundly in the room next door, but he cannot help himself as he drives into you. He leans over you.

“No one but me,” he growls lowly, “This little cunt belongs to no one else. She gets red and puffy for me, no? Filled up with only my come.”

“Sí,” you practically sing out but then quickly cover your mouth. He gets rougher with you then, each snap of his hips a reminder of how only he can make you feel like this. He is getting exactly what he wants, and he has you a moaning mess soon after.

Your first orgasm tears through you after a rough pounding of your g-spot, sending shockwaves down your spine to burn at the base and throwing your upper body forward with such a force that you nearly lose touch with the floor, standing only on your toes as you clamp rhythmically down on Javier’s cock.

“That’s it,” he praises quietly, not relenting, “You can do one more, can’t you? Gotta remind you who makes you feel this good.”

You nod through sobs. More, more, more.

Suddenly, he leaves you empty. The feeling has you on edge, makes you look at him over your shoulder because gaining eye contact in the mirror is somehow not good enough for the look of betrayal you want to give him. He takes a step back from you whilst panting frantically, gesturing to you by drawing a circle in the air, “Turn around.”

You straighten without thinking and flip around, so you are positioned as you were at the beginning of this. He seizes your hips, hands going down your thighs to grab at them and lift you up onto the edge of the counter.

Your hand clasps around the back of his neck. He lifts your legs up to settle them around his waist, and then he guides himself back into you and continues fucking you with a force that has you lifting your free hand up behind you to brace yourself against the mirror.

“Javi,” you whimper repeatedly, clutching at the curls at the base of his skull. He had wanted to cut it before summer came, but you are so glad that he did not.

“Shh,” he soothes your growing cries and you know that he’ll make you come again soon, “Be quiet for me, baby.”

You don’t think he is quiet enough himself to demand such a thing from you. His stamina has always impressed you, but it’s the sound of his breaths that tears your own from your chest. Alongside the hungry eyes that bore into you, you don’t think that it’ll take long for this to reach its peak for both of you.

“I can’t,” you stutter a little more high-pitched than you intended.

“You have to,” he says with a hint of sternness but he cannot keep it up. Especially not, when he has to take the consequences of reaching down between your legs to thumb at your clit.

You come so fast that you don’t even have time to warn him, and you cry. So loudly that he needs to kiss you to swallow the sound of you reaching your second, over-sensitive high.

You throw your arms around him as he chases his own peak, whimpering at the hard thrusts he is giving you to reach his end. You hear him let out a drawn-out fuuuck as he spills inside of you. He pulses, settling deep inside you. He kisses you lazily.

Everything goes quiet except for your shared breathing. You want to say something to finish the argument that almost never took place but a knock is heard on the locked bathroom door.

You freeze. Javier pulls out of you. The bathroom counter is a mess.

“Mommy?” Inés’ little voice sounds anxious. You figure that it’s far from nice to find your parents’ bed empty on holiday.

“Just a second,” you say with a weak voice.

“We’ll be right there, mí vida,” Javier says as well.

“What are you doing? Why is Mommy crying?” You hear her ask and Javier’s face twists in surprise for a moment before he starts laughing, burying his head in your neck as he holds you close. You slap his shoulder.

“I’m not crying, baby,” you reassure. With a glare that’s anything but actually angry, you push Javier away from you to get cleaned up.

“I have to pee,” Inés continues with a hesitant tone to her voice.

Javier kisses you one last time, and you draw it out for a few more seconds than you have time for. It’s still romantic despite you holding a hotel towel between your legs.

“One moment, mija,” Javier says and gets dressed in his briefs. He waits for you to dress too.

When you walk towards the door, he smacks your ass and you whip around to slap his hand away. There’s a grin on your face though, “Dog.”

“Go to bed, I’ll take her,” he just says.

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thyme-in-a-bubble · 8 months

Text

the lake

lilac, chapter five

a/n: this chapter made me scream so much... both for horny reasons AND for emotional reasons...

summary: “oh my god,” you hastily spun around, droplets dancing down your spine as you turned it towards the familiar logger, “how long have you been standing there?”

warnings: lumberjack!frank castle x reader, lumberjack AU, pete castiglione era, past domestic violence, crazy ex trope, slow burn, swimming in a lake, unintentional flashing, crying

word count: 2688

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There are those comforting places that you go to in your mind when you try to fall asleep. Sometimes it’s a fantasy land from a novel, but for you, it had always been this forest.

It was frankly kind of incredible how well you still remembered everything from the winding paths to the specific swaying trees.

Tilting your chin up, you tried to catch sight of the birds you heard chirping to each other and whistled right back at them, just as you did as a child, the action purely pavlovian, causing you to smile after realising you’d done it.

Glancing back down at the trail ahead of you, your grin only grew as you realised what the towering tree you were now nearing was.

There was this legend around the parts of Dunbrook saying that if you and your sweetheart carved your initials into the thick trunk of this exact tree, whose branches had a wingspan so wide that some came down to kiss the wide lake it grew adjacent to, then you’d stay together forever in perfect happiness.

Now was it true? Probably not. But that fact hadn’t squashed your childish wish of doing it one day.

Pressing your palm against the grand trunk, you traced a few of the scratched letters and hearts scattered about. Exhaling slowly, you felt the warm rays of the sun, streaming through the treetops above, kiss your exposed skin that poked out from the breezy dress you wore.

Giving the bark one last little tap as a goodbye, you then bent down and plucked one of the white flowers that sprang out of the mossy forest floor, rolling it only briefly between your fingers before sliding it into your hair, right over your left ear.

You didn’t get much further before the glistening surface of the lake became too entrancing to resist and the next thing you knew, you’d tossed all of your clothing over a low-hanging branch and jumped in.

Giggles bubbled out of you as you swam through the mild water, swiftly twirling onto your back in order to float, peering up at the clouds as a nostalgic melody tickled your memory, coaxing you to gently hum it to the skies above.

Though suddenly, a clatter found your ears, startling your relaxed form enough to whirl to a stance in order to find the source.

A few logs rolled across the bank, down towards the water, though in following their trail, your hands quickly shot up to cover your chest, as you spotted the person who had dropped them.

“Oh my god,” you hastily spun around, droplets dancing down your spine as you turned it towards the familiar logger, “how long have you been standing there?”

“Oh, fuck, I–…” you heard Pete curse, “I swear I wasn’t looking.”

Utterly mortified, you shrieked, “what are you even doing out here in the middle of the forest?”

“I live here, uhm, right over there,” you briefly glanced over your shoulder to see him stiffly gesturing to the previously undetected log cabin not too far from the water, his eyes firmly averted and boring holes into the leaves looming above.

“Oh, fuck my life…” escaped your lungs like a muffled cry, before you peeked back at his flustered visage to shout, “can you turn around? Please?”

“Uh, yeah,” he obliged instantly, “of course,” turning his broad back to your partly submerged form.

The water sloshed around your legs as you made your way to shore, the branch where your outfit was draped over, as if it was a clothesline, curled much closer to his figure than you’d realised.

“I’m really sorry,” you uttered as you hurried to tug your dress back over your head, “I didn’t know you lived here,” though the linen quickly darkened as it began to cling to the wetness of your skin, “I just used to come up here as a kid and back then no one lived in there,” cheeks aflame, you promptly decided to keep your arms tangled over your chest as you glanced down to discover your pebbly nipples poke clean through the now much sheerer fabric.

“Please do not apologise, ma'am,” he cautiously turned back around, never looking at you directly as he sighed, head hazily shaking atop his shoulders, “I should have–, I’m sorry…” a desperate offer then forced its way out of his lungs, “do you want a towel? Please let me give you a towel.”

“Uhm,” you blinked, toes curling into the damp moss, “a-alright, thank you.”

“It’s just, uh,” gaze ever averted, his broad palm awkwardly tapped the top of his thigh before pointing towards his home, “inside, so…”

“Yeah…” you nodded your burning features, swiftly following his long stride as he marched up to the hut, mastering all the steps in one leap as he hurried up onto the worn porch in order to nearly rip the front door off its hinges.

Frozen just shy past the threshold, you watched as Pete determinedly darted to fetch the offered item from the bathroom, leaving your eyes to explore the interior till he returned.

It was oddly comforting in its haphazard decor. Kinda like a vacation home you nearly never visited, everything was mismatched and simply there for the functionality of it all, yet from the raw log walls to the rays of light streaming in through the small window over the round, steel sink in the kitchenette, it all sent a warm flutter throughout your belly, evening out a bit of the frantic nerves that were jostling around in there.

“Here,” his return managed to startle you slightly, your eyes haven been glued in the opposite direction as he came back holding out a navy towel for you to grasp.

“Thank you,” you finally uncrossed your arms and seized the terrycloth material, offering him a sheepish smile in return.

Leaning back against the humble kitchen counter, Pete’s eyes raked across the woodgrain of the ceiling, surely counting all of the spiral eyes that dotted where branches used to be, while you gently patted the towel over your dripping form.

Stepping further into the quaint cabin, you bashfully found yourself asking, “so, you live here?” earning a low grunt in confirmation as you carefully took a look around, “it’s nice, cosy…” the additional words came out in a tone that made you cringe lightly to yourself.

As you finished squeezing your hair lightly in the towel, the stout bookcase, settled to the right between the sofa and the unlit fireplace, caught your wandering eye. Draping the cloth around your shoulders like a blanket, you crouched down before the hardbacks, a breathy giggle uncontrollably bubbled out of your form as you spotted the unexpected titles that filled up his collection.

“What?”

“Sorry, it’s just–,” you glanced back at Pete’s cocked head and clasped your hand over your lips, “I don’t know what I imagined your bookshelf to look like, but I definitely didn’t peg you as a lover of the classics.”

“Hmm,” he simply hummed, the rumble too neutral for you to decipher the unspoken meaning within it.

Turning your vision back to the novels, you ran a finger over the spine of a tattered copy of Persuasion, “kinda didn’t imagine you being a reader at all…”

Bottom lip captured in between your teeth as you rose back up to your feet, virtually feeling the rugged man’s stare fixed on the back of your head before you heard his low timbre break the silence, “do you want a cup of coffee?” you turned to meet his gaze, “it’s not like the stuff at the inn, but it’s something.”

Taken slightly aback, a faint smile bloomed on your lips, “I’d love some,” and you pulled out one of the wobbly chairs at the small dining table. Your eyes followed his brawny form as he snatched up the thermos that already stood on the counter, hooking his fingers in the handles of two of the mugs that hung on the wall before he sat down opposite you, pouring out the dark beverage into your cup before his own, “thank you,” you wrapped your fingers around the enamel mug, the warmth radiating straight into your bones.

Lowering the cup after taking a sip, you stared down into the murky liquid, the embarrassment still stinging in your belly as you counted the faint coffee suds settled on the surface.

Snapping you out of your trance, Pete’s broad palm suddenly came into view, his fingers swiftly reaching out for the hair dangling by your chin. Bewilderment fogging up your features, you nearly reeled back, before his fleeting touch faltered, briefly presenting to you the forgotten white flower that you’d previously stuck behind your ear in order to soothe your slight panic.

A giggle then bubbled out of you as he placed the small floret down between the two of you in the middle of the table. Blinking up at him only seemed to make it worse, “I’m sorry, I just–,” your hands clasped your face even though you knew you’d never be able to hide your mortified flush no matter how hard you tried, “I was about to say that I feel like you’ve seen me naked, but that’s exactly what happened, so…” a laugh shook throughout your belly, “you know, it wasn’t even really my idea, or well, the swimming part was, but not the spending my day out here, that was my dad’s. He thought I needed a break, so here I am, accidentally flashing you…”

His restless forefinger glided over the smooth surface as he held his steaming mug, “if it makes you feel any better, I didn’t really see anything.”

Your eyes twitched, unsure if you were to believe him, “it does, a bit…” though still appreciating the gesture.

Casting your glance out the window, you watched a moment as the birch branches swayed in the wind, the rigidity porch in plain view as you spotted a forgotten mug on a long wooden bench, surely one that once contained the same beverage you sipped on now.

“Can I ask you something?” you heard Pete enquire after a few moments had passed.

“Of course.”

Carefully, he took a second to gather the courage needed to ask you cautiously, “are you okay?”

Chuckling lightly, you rolled your eyes, “yes, I’m alright. I’m sorry to tell you, Pete, but you’re not the first ever human being to see me naked,” you waited for him to mirror your laugh, but his expression only stayed as gloom as before.

“I wasn’t–…” he exhaled deeply before repeating, “are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” you glanced back at him, your eyes wandering over the hint of age speckled throughout his beard.

“I just, uh,” he uttered warily, “I noticed some things.”

“Things?” the tightness of your furrowed brows dissolved as you watched him vigilantly gesture to your arms, exactly where your bruises had healed not too long before, “oh… o-oh…” your voice shook slightly as the realisation settled in, “uhm… did you tell anyone else?” you heard your paranoid words filled the air, “did you tell my dad?”

“No,” his head gently shook from side to side, eyes gingerly glued to your reaction.

“Can you maybe not tell him?” you felt your bottom lip tremble, “I never told him about it or even him before and I just don’t want him to–…” if you’d been standing up then you might have tumbled over from how your head spun, “since he never knew, it kinda feels like, every once and a while, like it never even happened to begin with. Even if it’s just for a second, I can pretend that I’m just a kid again, with my dad and that I never had to grow up and be with–…”

Tilting his head in an attempt to catch your rattled vision, he promised, “I won’t tell him.”

“Thank you,” like a dam, the tears came flooding out, “fuck, I’m sorry,” every nerve across your skin felt utterly raw, each little hair standing up in alarm, “I don’t know why I’m crying…”

“It’s okay,” you struggled to meet his gentle glance, “have you not talked to anyone about it?”

“No… it always felt weird to tell my dad about the people that I dated and then when it turned into something more, something else, then, I don’t know, I just couldn’t… and I didn’t really have anyone else in the city… or I guess I did once, but Preston,” you sucked in a painful breath as you pushed through, continuing to share, “he didn’t really like them, so at some point, I stopped talking to them all together…”

Tears collided with the wooden tabletop, leaving little sombre stains in its wake, you heard the man sitting across from you offer carefully, “if you want someone, a friend, to talk to, then know that I’m always here.”

“Really?” you blinked up at him, raising a shaking hand to wipe your cheek.

“Yeah,” he exhaled solemnly, looking back at you in a manner that caught you off guard by how, for a lack of better words, safe it made you feel, even amidst all the chaos.

“Thank you,” you sobbed, “you know, he wasn’t like that to begin with, he genuinely wasn’t, I really don’t want you to think that I just have a thing for abusive assholes. He was charming. Did everything a girl could dream of for her first love. I think I genuinely loved him, he was perfect and it happened so slowly, gradually over such a long time that I didn’t even really notice that he had changed, or maybe just dropped the façade, till he was holding me down, cutting off my air supply, just because he had a bad day at the office… I even tried to break up with him a few times, but it never worked… last time I tried I ended up with a ring on my finger…”

“Does he know that you’re here?”

“No, don’t think so. I was so hungry for a fresh start back when I first met him that I barely told him about where I grew up, just that it was in a tiny mountain town and that my dad owned an inn… I mean, not that he ever really cared about that kind of stuff… guess I was a bit embarrassed about where I came from in comparison to him. He grew up on the upper east side, had always been used to having servants and that kind of stuff around him and I very much didn’t… I remember thinking he was like a prince back when I met him. I just couldn’t believe he loved me. But he sure did, does… he was set on me, wanted nothing more than to mould me into his perfect little–…”

Your voice broke as you caught Pete's woeful eye, “I’m really sorry that you had to meet him,” he uttered genuinely.

Tears welling up in your eyes once more, it took you a bit before you managed to say, “yeah, me too,” forcing your eyes up towards the ceiling, you attempted to compose the uncontrollable sobs that rumbled out of your lungs, “I really hate that game of what if this thing didn’t happen or what if I learnt this lesson earlier. It never fixes anything, never makes it better. All it can do is make you even more depressed, you know?”

“Yeah,” he breathed distantly as you wiped the corner of the towel draped over your form across your glistening cheeks, “I know exactly what you mean…”

Bloodshot eyes, though foggy, still managed to notice the shift in his features as Pete stared down his half-empty mug of coffee, “hey,” you reached out to lightly rest your hand over where his lied on the table, “I’m really sorry too.”

Eyes flickering up to meet yours, a light crease formed between his dark brows, “for what?”

“For whatever happened to make you look at me the way that you are right now… whatever it is, I’m really sorry…”

#lea’s writing #lilac series #lumberjack!frank castle #frank castle x reader #frank castle imagine #frank castle x you #frank castle x y/n #frank castle x female reader #frank castle x fem!reader #frank castle x f!reader #frank castle fic #the punisher fic #frank castle fanfiction #the punisher x reader #frank castle fluff #frank castle series #lumberjack au #frank castle hurt/comfort #frank castle angst

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damienthepious · 2 years

Text

if i were to tell u that i wrote some Scattered!verse shenanigans. would u be happy. i hope so. [inhale] [jazz hands] here we go!

Found Inbound (Unfettered to the Homeland)

← Previous Work | Part 2 of the Scattered series | [ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla, Original Monster Character(s)

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Established Relationship, Mild Injury, Canon Typical Rude Arum, Awkward Introductions, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Lizard Kissin' Tuesday

Summary: A visitor unexpectedly returns to Arum's swamp. Arum, as should be expected, is displeased.

Notes: okay so like this isn't a SEQUEL to Scattered, really, but i have a few little... lingering, persistent oneshot ideas from that universe that i just REALLY want to explore, and this one has been on the back burner since... like. the day after i published the last chapter of scattered, probably. I have at least two more that maybe eventually I'll finish. i would REALLY love to finish the one that features Marc. But! for now! THIS. finally, my poor lil monster oc gets a name. Title from the song Only For Today, by Eliza Rickman. :)

The faun slaps facedown into the mud as Arum steps out from the portal, and he cannot help but roll his eyes.

"Really, now, the swamp isn't even chasing you, this time. Why are you- scrambling as if you've never stepped over a tree branch before?"

The faun groans as he rolls over, but when he manages to prop himself on his elbows his expression falls open, his frame sagging with what looks like relief.

"Oh thank- thank the Universe, oh I didn't think I'd crossed the border yet- thank magic-"

Arum steps back delicately as the faun hops to his hooves, leaning to one side as he shakes some of the mud off of his lower half. Arum frowns, still glaring down his snout at the creature with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

"What does the Senate want now?" he says, grit through his teeth. "If you have another letter, I will admit that I am tempted to tear it to shreds without the courtesy of a look."

The faun, surprisingly, laughs, though he still sounds breathless. "That would- that would likely be best, m'lord, but- I don't have a letter, this time."

Arum blinks, then huffs. "What are you back here for, then? I told you before, my swamp no longer acknowledges the rule of the Senate, and I do not care what they-"

"Exactly," the faun says, his voice a tremulous sort of yip. "That's exactly why I'm here, m'lord."

"What." Arum says, his tone flat despite his bafflement.

"They- well. They weren't- the Senate, they weren't exactly- happy? About the letter you sent them. And they-"

"Good," Arum snarls, emphatic. "I will delight in displeasing them so long as I live, I think."

"And they decided that I must be a traitor, because-"

"What?" Arum pulls his head back, his lip curling. "That's nonsense."

"Well-" the faun laughs, uncertainly. "Yes, but- they aren't exactly-" he winces, eyes flicking aside as his nose twitches. "Er- they decided I was a traitor anyway and- and they were going to send me to- to Fort Terminus, but- I've heard- I know- I've heard what happens there, and- and-"

"And you would prefer not to be thrown off the edge of the world," Arum finishes in a monotone, crossing two of his arms over his chest and lifting a third with which to gesture. "Obviously. But what does that have to do with me?"

The faun pauses, blinks, and his fidgeting stops entirely for a long moment before he tilts his head towards Arum with wide, pleading eyes.

"Well... everything? I know they'll kill me if they catch me, or worse, and- and I can't go near the human settlements, because of the knights, obviously, and- and- and the only place I could think of where the Senate and the humans won't be able to kill me-"

"No."

"Is here, so-"

"No," Arum says again, teeth bared and tail lashing. "Out of the question."

"They already believe that I have c-colluded with you somehow, m'lord-"

"Stop that, I am not your lord-"

"And I- I don't know where else to- I'll, I'll beg if you want me to, Lord Arum-"

"I don't, I do not want that, do not go down on your knees, I will-"

Arum reaches out and snatches the faun by the collar of his coat, lifting him bodily back to his feet.

"Stop. You are not among my subjects, and you are not my responsibility. I will not have you endangering all I protect for the sake of your-"

"Arum?"

Arum winces at the familiar voice and the faun slips from between his claws, dropping fully to the ground. He curls into a ball, shielding his face with a hand and trembling hard, and Arum ignores him for just long enough to spare a glance over his shoulder.

"I told you I would only be a few minutes, h- Damien," he says, trying to sound mild rather than tense. "You should have waited."

Damien, standing in the threshold of Arum's portal, blinks down at the faun, then back up at Arum. "I'm... I'm sorry, Arum. The Keep seemed- worried? I just wanted to make sure..."

"The Keep is overprotective, you know that perfectly well."

"It has good reason," Damien says, his expression gone a little pleading, and Arum resists the urge to dart to the poet's side and gather him up in his arms.

He shakes his head instead, sighing. "Well... fine."

"And I wanted to ensure that I saw you, before I needed to return to the Citadel."

Arum ducks his head, his frill raising with the flutter of his heart. "Hm."

"So..." Damien glances past Arum towards the faun, still trembling. "So this... is this-" Damien pauses delicately, "a... friend?"

"This is a problem," Arum mutters, dour, though he reaches a hand down to lift the faun back up by the elbow. "He isn't going to hurt you. Stand up, you ridiculous thing."

"But- but- but-" the faun half-ducks behind Arum as he compulsively rolls his eyes. "But- a- a knight-"

"Retired," Damien says. "Er- or, retiring, at least." Damien's brow furrows, his gaze and his attention drifting distant for a moment. "As soon as I can get the words just right, just as soon as I..." he blinks, shakes his head, and then tries a strained little smile. "My apologies. Ah- I suppose I am, for the moment, a Knight of the Crown, friend monster, but I have no intentions of harming you. My arrows are meant for creatures of malice, and you," he pauses, tilting his head slightly to catch a better glimpse of where the faun hides behind Arum's cape, "you do not quite seem like that motive lives in your heart. Please, I mean you no harm. I would be pleased to meet you, in fact! I am Damien the Pious, but a humble guest in these lands."

"More than a guest," Arum mutters quickly, his frill twitching wider as the poet smiles more softly at his words. "Get out of my cape, you little coward-"

The faun flinches lightly as Arum steps fully towards Damien, leaving the creature without a barrier between himself and the human, but after a moment he glances nervously between the pair of them, and then he tilts his head, straightening just a bit.

"Oh," he says. And then, "Oh. Oh, is that why the-"

"Do not attempt to come to any nonsense conclusions or assumptions about my life and my choices or I will take my knives and-"

"Arum," Damien chides, and Arum subsides into a growl, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No assumptions!" the fauns says quickly, holding one furry hand up in surrender, his eyes wide. "I only- it makes- sense? More sense. Now. I mean."

"The Senate tried to kill me before I ever met these tw- before I met the knight."

Damien glances towards Arum, then back towards the faun again. "We met, in fact, because the Senate tried to kill him," he muses, and then he smiles sympathetically when Arum shoots him a look. "Saints only know if we would have ever been lucky enough to meet otherwise."

Arum- considers that for a long moment, distracted by the idea of not knowing Amaryllis and Damien, and then he blinks when Damien makes a small worried noise.

"You... are you alright? Your arm-"

The faun winces, and Arum notices for the first time the way that the creature holds one of his arms tight against his stomach, the way his wrist seems swollen on that side, beneath the fur. "I don't- know. When the pigs grabbed me- might be broken? Can't tell, didn't have time to stop and look it over, I only-"

He freezes prey-still when Damien steps closer, tutting lightly and tilting his head to get a better look, lifting his hands but pausing before he actually touches the monster. "May I?" he asks, and the faun stares wide-eyed for a long, terrified moment before he flicks his eyes over Damien's shoulder towards Arum and back. He nods, still wincing, a little jerky, and Damien smiles again. "Thank you."

Damien gingerly takes the faun's elbow in one hand, touching his fingertips with the other, very carefully scanning over the limb with sharp eyes, and then his lip tilts wryly. "Difficult to tell," he murmurs, "I am, alas, not the physician between us, but... it certainly looks broken. We should have Rilla look at it, yes?"

He glances towards Arum, and-

Damn him.

Delicate, compassionate little songbird. He and Amaryllis learned to care for Arum despite his innumerable cruelties and missteps, of course the poet would have no difficulty sympathizing with this harmless, hapless little creature.

Arum sighs.

"Oh, fine," he grumbles, rolling his eyes when Damien beams. "She can patch the sorry thing up. But that's all. Keep, I don't suppose she's too busy to bother, at the moment?"

The Keep sings a pleasant denial (the faun flinches again; Arum ignores him) and rearranges the portal to take them back to a different section of the Keep.

Amaryllis faces away from them, leaning over her commandeered table in the workshop with four books open in front of her (Arum notes two herbiaries from rival authors, a handwritten conversion guide for units of measurement from the Western Wastes, and Amaryllis' own handwritten journal) as her recorder runs with its subtle hiss-whir against the wood beneath it. He can tell that she's heard the noise of the portal, but she only lifts one hand up beside her shoulder, palm open in a gesture of both greeting and her own casual just-a-sec.

Arum's stomach warms with the fierce focus on her face even observed sidelong, distracted if only for a moment from his absurd purpose in disrupting her. The faun does follow him through the portal, though his limbs have taken to trembling again even as Damien gives the creature a reassuring smile.

"H-how many," the faun whispers pleadingly, "how many h-humans- how-"

Amaryllis blinks at the unfamiliar voice, her focus shifting swiftly as she glances over her shoulder.

"Oh!" she says brightly, despite the obvious confusion on her face. "Arum, you didn't say you were having a friend over."

"He is not a-"

"He's injured, love," Damien says, before Arum can fall woefully off track, stepping closer to touch Amaryllis' side and kiss her cheek. "His wrist. Would you-"

Amaryllis' attention pivots again, arrow-straight and arrow-sharp on the faun's swollen joint even as the creature winces. "Keep," she says in a quick firm voice, and before she even finishes lifting her hand out, the Keep presses her medical bag into her grasp, and she steps towards the faun without a breath of hesitation.

The faun does hesitate, though, wincing back from Amaryllis' quick approach, and she blinks in response, slowing very slightly and twitching her lips up into a wry smile.

"It's okay," she says, her voice earnest in that old familiar way, the way that makes Arum's ribcage feel tight with affection. "I'm a doctor," she says, and then she gestures to a little stool by another of the workbenches. "Here. Take a seat and let me have a look-see. Please?" she adds, when the creature flicks his eyes to the stool, then quickly to Arum, and then nervously to the humans again.

"I... wh-why?" he says, after a pause, and then he winces again, apparently at his own words.

Amaryllis smiles though, an amused fondness on her face as she looks towards Arum for half a moment before she answers.

"I'm a doctor," she says again, "and you're hurt."

As if that is all the answer in the world. All the answer she ever needed, to help someone. Arum can't help but smile.

The faun still hesitates, though, and Arum slips into a scowl instead.

"You wanted help, didn't you?" he growls, folding his arms over his chest and pretending to ignore when Damien touches his elbow. "Sit and let her help, then, you ungrateful little-"

"Arum," Amaryllis warns, though her frown still looks amused. Her lips twitch when he huffs and rumbles another growl at the base of his throat, but then she turns her attention back to her new patient instead. "It's alright," she says, chipper and calm. "Trust me, I know how weird it probably is just to let a human this close to you, nevermind the idea of medical treatment. Look-" she smiles more sheepishly. "My name is Rilla."

She pauses, and the faun takes a beat before he seems to recognize the cue.

"Ah- I'm- I'm called Hopskip," he says, his twitchy ears pressed back against his head, and Amaryllis' eyes gleam with delight.

"Hopskip," she says. "It's nice to meet you. Now. Would you mind if I take a look at that? I imagine it's probably pretty painful."

He glances down at his swollen wrist, and his jaw trembles, slightly (Arum resists the urge to roll his eyes), but he swallows and nods and finally moves to perch very delicately on the stool, his eyes wide as Amaryllis thanks him and moves closer to examine the injury.

Damien sidles up beside Arum as they both watch their doctor work, efficient and poised and warm enough that after a few minutes of careful examination and gentle questioning, the faun finally relaxes.

"May I ask, my love," Damien whispers as he laces his fingers with Arum's, "if there is a reason you seem so terribly irritated by our guest, or if this is simply your inherent prickliness rising to the surface?"

Arum scowls, turning his face to glare down at the poet, but the affection in Damien's eyes muffles a large degree of his annoyance.

"I wondered," Damien murmurs, something teasing on his face, "if perhaps you might feel... jealous, to see our dear Rilla treating another monster quite so gently."

Arum sputters, his hand flexing against Damien's as he hisses and snaps his teeth in denial. "Don't-" he gasps, "don't be ridiculous, little songbird. I don't- I hardly care what-" he pauses to grit his teeth, then sighs. "Amaryllis... her compassion is... infinitely impressive. I would never begrudge her any use of her talents."

Damien's expression clears into something more fond, and he leans up to kiss Arum's jaw. "I know, beloved," he murmurs. "I apologize for teasing. But- why, then, does this creature's presence trouble you so?"

"He is a messenger for the Senate," Arum spits under his breath, eyes narrowing, and then he amends, "or- was. And- he is nothing to do with us. I cannot justify endangering- or-"

"It's sprained," Amaryllis says, her voice firm and reassuring as she gives the faun a smile. "Not broken, so that's a relief. It should heal up just fine if we splint it and if you just take it easy for a few weeks. Okay?"

Hopskip nods, his face a little blank as Amaryllis arranges the splint board and wraps it gently to his wrist.

"There," she says, smiling again. "If you can keep it cool that would reduce the swelling, but Saints help you with that in this muggy ass swamp."

Hopskip stutters into a laugh, apparently startled by Amaryllis' informality, and then he twitches a smile. Amaryllis nods, then, satisfied, and turns to start rearranging her materials back into her bag.

Hopskip hops down from the stool, and when the knight steps closer to help Amaryllis with her bag, he delicately backs away from the pair of them, towards Arum again. He still looks somewhat dazed. Arum wonders how long it will take the creature to get over that particular reaction.

"They are so... strange," Hopskip murmurs absently, his uninjured hand delicately touching the edge of his splint as he watches Amaryllis swat at Damien's hands, arguing about proper organization as the poet smiles with helpless fondness. "I keep expecting them to- to blink and remember what they are, and what I am, and- and-"

Arum can't help the laugh, a choked little noise he manages to catch before it grows into a proper cackle. He rather well knows the feeling. It haunts his less generous dreams, still, Damien's bow and that cold calculation in Amaryllis' voice. He cannot even be properly defensive over the monster calling them strange. They are. Arum is rather grateful for that.

"They won't," he says instead. "They know perfectly well what you are and who they are. They have simply decided that the Senate's war is entirely pointless."

"As have you," the faun adds, his tone... hopeful? Careful, at least. Arum hums.

"Well... it is pointless, and I want no part in it. Humanity is persistent. It is their best and their worst quality."

The faun thinks for a long moment, his tuft of a tail flicking as his ears press lower.

"Persistent..." he says slowly, and then he sighs. "I'm glad for you, and for them, but... I don't expect that the rest of the humans could be convinced to refrain from slaying the lot of us, too."

Arum doesn't quite know what to do with the idea of this creature being glad for Arum and his situation, so he ignores that part. "As a group," he muses, "as a kingdom, perhaps not. Individually... well. They are stubborn," he says, "and almost obstinately social. If they decide to make you part of one of their little packs... their families... it seems to be something of a permanent arrangement."

Hopskip frowns as he considers that, and Arum, still considering humans as a whole as well, realizes with a flash of amusement more than irritation that he has already failed his initial goal to remove this creature from his swamp as quickly as possible. His humans... well, he knows perfectly well what their reactions would be, if he insisted on turning this little monster back out into the Wilds, now.

Arum sighs, and Hopskip blinks his attention back towards him.

"Watch," he says with a self-deprecating smile, and then he lifts his snout. "Amaryllis, honeysuckle." They pause in teasing each other, both of their expressions curious as they turn towards Arum and the faun again. "This creature- Hopskip," he amends wryly, "is fleeing the Senate. He would be unsafe in most monster-held lands, and actively in danger in those patrolled by humans. What would you suggest he do, then?"

Arum fails to bury a smirk at the way the humans unsubtly lock eyes with each other, that silent communication between them that he is slowly learning to admire and adore, rather than envy.

"Well," Damien says slowly, his eyes pleading as they both look towards Arum and Hopskip again. "Couldn't... perhaps... the swamp is rather vast, isn't it?"

"Couldn't you let him stay here for a while?" Amaryllis says, more bluntly. "Not in the Keep, I mean, but- you know. Somewhere close? So I can keep an eye on him until we can take the splint off, at least. Right?"

Hopskip pulls his head back, almost alarmed by their immediate acquiescence, and- Arum can't help it. He laughs, and when the humans give him matching expressions of bafflement he laughs a little harder, shaking his head and waving a hand in the air.

"See?" he says, addressing Hopskip again. "I told you. Social. Stubborn. There'll be no arguing them down now, and I blame you fully," he adds, unbothered when his tone fails to sound at all intimidating. "So."

"S-so?"

"Until your arm is healed," he says with a shrug. It is a lie, of course, and he knows from the way that Damien purses his lips and Amaryllis raises a single pointed eyebrow that the humans can tell. "We will find a place for you."

A pause, and then-

Hopskip seizes Arum's hand in his uninjured one, exhaling something that resembles a sob as he squeezes, his eyes wide and watery and stunned.

He doesn't actually say thank you, for which Arum is grateful. Arum suspects, however, that this is only because the faun doesn't seem quite able to speak, just now, considering the hiccuping hitching of his breath.

After an awkward moment (sympathy, Arum is unpracticed in sympathy, what is he meant to do while this little creature shakes and clings to his hand?), Amaryllis steps closer with a very bright, very gentle smile.

"So," she says, not at all sly, "if we're going to be neighbors-" she pauses as Arum snorts, "can I give him a tour of the greenhouse? It's beautiful, he'll love it. Anyone would, and it's not like we ever get the chance to show it off, right?"

Arum chuckles again, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, but he takes his cue to pass Hopskip's furry hand over to Amaryllis instead, and the faun barely even flinches, this time. The Keep has already opened the portal, prompted by Amaryllis' suggestion, and she snatches Damien's hand on her other side as she leads Hopskip through, chattering enthusiastically as the faun finally eases into a smallish smile, shooting one last grateful look over his shoulder towards Arum.

Arum will follow them through, soon enough. He takes a breath first, allowing himself a grinning sigh and a shake of the head.

He revels in the quiet in their wake for a moment, and then he reaches to touch the still-lingering ridge on his horn, where the crack healed, one of the last hints of his former injuries. He thinks-

He wouldn't even be alive, still, were it not for the obstinate compassion of his humans. He wouldn't dare begrudge them that persistent little instinct.

Though... he hopes this incident won't be repeated.

"Keep," he says, and it brightens to attention with an immediate warble of song. "Dust off one of the outposts in the swamp, if you would." He smiles, despite himself. "I think we may have managed to adopt a new subject."

#elle's fanfic #scattered on my shore #found inbound (unfettered to the homeland)#second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #lord arum #sir damien #amaryllis of exile #hopskip the faun #FINALLY. NAMED.#aughghghghhg oh scattered i love u still. so much

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ilythena · 2 months

Text

𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘 || 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒

★SUM after spending a night in a small island, luke keeps seeing you everywhere he goes.

SMUT! Fem!reader, let’s just pretend alcohol is free for them, reader is not a human, oral (?), p in v, obsession, praise, Luke is a pussydrunk FOOL, definitely submissive Luke over here guys, one night stand turned spooky….readers a succubus? Idk guys I just like writing smut… this will probs have a part 2

♪ CANDY - DOJA CAT

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Jack sighs as the flight attendant announces that they would unfortunately have to stay a night in this random island after the plane had difficulties.

The plan was simple, get on the plane to Australia, stay there for a few days, and then fly back to New Jersey. But like his life, things were never easy for him.

Luke groans in annoyance as the flight attendant looks at him with guilt on their face even though everyone knew it technically wasn’t their fault, and set them up for three different hotel rooms a few minutes away from the airport they had to emergency land in

“Well, at least they weren’t shitty enough to just leave us without rooms and put us somewhere” Nico says and the two brothers huff in dissatisfaction

“Come on! Cheer up! Like, let’s go out to a club! They gotta have one somewhere on this island.” He says and while everyone’s not pleased at their situation, they begrudgingly agree to his plan.

After a while and everyone’s settled, they google a club, look at the reviews, and luckily it was in walking distance so they wouldn’t have to pay for anything.

They get in there and the place is full of tourist and some locals scattered around the place, and it was actually kind of fun. Everyone was letting loose of the tense atmosphere they had earlier.

“Hey, I’m gonna go search for the bathroom! I’ll be back!” Jack shouts to Luke over the music and Luke nods his head in agreement. As jack’s seat next to Luke suddenly becomes empty, it quickly becomes occupied again as you slip into the seat

Well, more like your friend pushed you there after you’ve been eyeing the curly head the second he stepped into the resort you were staying in, but same thing.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, didn’t mean to bump into you like that.” You say and straighten up his sleeve before he could do it himself. “…it’s fine. You’re fine.” He says and he could feel his breath suddenly getting caught in his throat at the sight of you next to him.

Your eyes capture him in a way he can’t escape, shining and glimmering under the clubs lights and he’s stuck, trying to tear his eyes away from yours and despite how hard he tries it’s impossible.

“You from here?” You say, moving your tone to a more flirtatious one as he shakes his head no. “You look a little overwhelmed…why don’t we step outside for a minute? Get you some air…” you whisper into his ear, pulling him close to you by his collar and Luke’s mouth is moving quicker than his mind as he chokes out a yes.

Before he realized it, you two were outside on the beach right next to the club, the waves crashing down onto the shore and the dress you’re wearing is slipping down your shoulders that Luke can’t tear his eyes off of.

“I never got your name? And honestly you didn’t get mine either.” You giggle and that’s what brings him down from his cloud of ecstasy, suddenly flustered that he’s out with a stranger. What about Jack? What if him and Nico are looking for him?

“U-um, my names Luke, I’m sorry, I don’t think I should be out here-“ he says and you silence him with a toothy grin that has his heart hammering against his chest

“Y/n. What’s stopping you? Got a lady back home?” You say, bringing your hands up to rub his chest and he fucking melts, you could tell he’s an awkward one, but that’s how you like them.

“N-no…..forget I said anything” he mumbles and despite the faint background music from the club, you could still hear him due to your proximity.

Looking into your eyes again, Luke can feel himself slipping into a foggy mindset. It’s like he can’t control himself despite not even knowing who you are.

A Deep feeling of anxiety swirls in his stomach, but lust quickly takes over him as he feels your lips press into his. Your teeth slightly biting into his lower lip makes his mouth drop open and you take that chance to shove your tongue into his mouth.

He moves his hands down to your waist and whines into the kiss as you reach your hands up to tug at his hair, the two of you kissing in the middle of the beach as if there wasn’t anyone else in the world.

Your plan was almost ripped away from you when you part away from him for air, and he gets a text as soon as you take your first breath away from Luke.

Jack 🏒

Didn’t think you were that type of person lukey 👀

Be safe!

You quickly shove his phone back down away from his eyesight so you can ensure that you can get Luke in your hands for good.

“Don’t worry about it, whatever it is.” You say grabbing him by his chin and redirecting his vision towards you. “Take me to your hotel? I’ll show you how we do it over here” you whisper and he takes you by surprise when he drags you towards the place.

You two messily stumble into his room and you don’t hesitate to get your mouth on his again, reaching for the bottom of his shirt and moving it upwards to rub his stomach and fidget with his belt at the same time.

You shove him down onto the bed and his face is astonishingly red, the bulge in his shorts making them unbearably tight.

He moves your hands out the way to take his belt off and you stop him, “you’re not gonna ask me? And here I am thinking you’d be obedient.” You tsk and he hesitates “what do you want me to do?” He whispers and you don’t skip a beat telling him to beg for it.

Attaching your lips to his neck, he lets out a small moan he was desperately trying to hold back and lets out a quiet please. “Please what? Ask me properly.” You demand and he shakily obeys “please, please take my shorts off.” He says and you finally shake them down his ankles to which he very swiftly kicked off.

“Good, knew you could do it for me.” you purr out and he huffs as you start to palm him through his boxers “please take those off too” he groans out, with a giggle you gently take his cock out and a hiss is heard through the room as the cool air hits his tip. Not wanting to keep him waiting, you pump him and small puffs of air escape his lips before you spit down on it to give him more lubrication

“Fuck, I’ve never- never been this fucking hard from a handjob before.” He moans out, another smiling snicker along with a kiss below his ear has him crumbling completely.

“C-can I mention how this isn’t fucking fair at all? I have my whole dick out and you’re fully clothed. Not really equal over here” he whines and you hum. “Want me to take my tits out?” “Dear god please do. Wanna see them so bad.” He breathes out and flinches when you swat his hand away when he tries to reach for your chest

“No touching.” You state and he grins, “really? Not gonna let me touch your chest, but you’re jerking me off- oh” he cuts himself off when you run your thumb over his tip as a gentle reminder that you expect to take control here.

“You have an attitude on you. I’m gonna take that away, but for now I guess I’ll give you what you want…” you say as you slowly move your dress down your shoulders to reveal yourself to him. You roll your nipple between the fingers of your free hand and he swears he can feel himself about to drool.

“Fuck, please? Can I at least put my mouth on them? You’re gonna kill me.” He grumbles out and you play pity on him, sliding your dress off and straddling him so you can push your panties to the side and rub himself between your folds.

“Since you asked so nicely, I’ll let you.” You state and he immediately latches onto your left boob, groaning in both disappointment and excitement when he feels your hand move him near your entrance

You can feel the vibrations of his muffled gasps when you rub his tip against your clit, anticipation biting Luke in his gut waiting for you to finally put him inside.

“Mmm, it’s so close, would be so easy to-“ “you’re getting bratty. Keep it up and I won’t hesitate to hold off your orgasm tonight.” You bark out, interrupting him. “Fuck, ‘m sorry” he mumbles, wiping the drool off his mouth and leaning back

“Oh fuck” he suddenly whimpers out when you finally have enough and slip him inside of you. When he reaches for you for a second time you have enough and pin his hands to his bed.

“Gonna pin me to the bed? H-oh god” he cuts himself off and you smile in satisfaction, knowing that he’s giving up that ‘wanna be dominant’ attitude.

The room is full of you two, the sounds of you bouncing on him and Luke’s whimpering along with your gasps

“Please let me touch you, I’m gonna fucking lose it over here. Please, please.” He begs and you coo down at him. His face red, eyes hooded, and begging for the most simple thing.

“Sure, baby. See? I’ll give you what you need, as long as you ask me nicely.” You let his wrist go and he immediately grabs handfuls of your ass, moaning when he’s able to feel your soft skin under his fingers

“I’m close.” He whines out and you look at him with confusion “already? We just started baby…..if you cum, how am I gonna get off?” You mock him and all of a sudden he feels this wave of embarrassment hit him, tossing his head back with a groan.

“I don’t know what you’re doing to me. I’ve never- fuck- never been like this before for anyone.” You bite down behind his ear and he shudders “mmm… maybe I’m just different. All I know is that you shouldn’t cum yet.” You whisper and he shakes “can’t. I can’t hold it. You’re too fucking good.”

“Hold it.” You demand, and go right back to attacking his neck. “I’m trying. I’m trying.” He cries out, repeating himself. A small part of you wonders if he’s trying to convince you or himself, and right when he’s about to break, you let go of your pending orgasm and give in.

“Cum for me, Luke.” You rasp out, and he’s a mess as he comes undone under you. Shaking and eyes rolling into the back in his head, you get that feeling of accomplishment take over you as you orgasm. This is what you came here for.

Helping him ride out his orgasm, you gently grind yourself on him, watching him slowly come down from his high.

Everything for Luke after that is a blur. All he can remember was you cleaning him up and basically tucking him into bed before he knocked out.

The morning after, Luke woke up to Jack blowing his phone up, asking him where he was.

He frantically got up and got dressed, rushed to the airport, and met up with the other two boys. “Luke! Where were you at, man?” Nico asks and Jack smirks, looking at his younger brother.

“Lukey here had quite an eventful night if I say.” Luke can feel his face heating up at jacks words and brushes him off. “Whatever, man. Let’s just get on the plane?” He says and he was the first person to sit down and plug his headphones in as soon as he sat down, waiting for the flight attendant to give him the green light to board the plane.

As Nico goes over the plans for the trip when they land, Luke glances over to Jack and almost has a heart attack when he sees you sitting at the bar across the area from them. He sits up abruptly and when he glances at Nico for a second when his captain asks him what’s wrong and then looks back to where you were, you aren’t there anymore.

“…..Luke?” Jack repeats, concern spreading on his face as he waves his hand infront of Luke’s face. With his mouth parted and stuttering, he eventually says never mind and sinks back into his chair, gaining confused looks from both men next to him but slowly moving back into their previous conversation.

Sneakily glancing back to your spot, you still aren’t there, and he begins to wonder if his mind was playing tricks on him, but he can’t shake off the feeling that he was right.

Eventually he boards the plane and flies to Australia like it was meant to do, and Luke takes a nap. The rest of the flight is smooth, nice and quiet like he wanted it to be. He couldn’t stop thinking of you. What you two did last night, and if you were really there in the airport with him.

He wakes up when the plane lands, collecting his stuff and joking with Jack and Nico, he freezes when he leaves the plane and sees you again across the room talking to another girl.

He stands there for a solid second, staring holes into your back like if he looks away you’ll disappear. Jack bumps into him from behind due to the sudden stop and when Luke slightly lunges forward and his eyes snap off you for a second, you weren’t there anymore.

“Luke, are you okay? You’ve been acting weird since this morning.” Jack says, gently rubbing his shoulder after running into Luke and all of a sudden Luke can feel anxiety bubbling in his chest. “Yeah. I’m fine.” He states quickly, trying to return back to normal when Jack and Nico look at each other, both equally aware that something’s going on.

What they don’t know can’t hurt them.

I FUCKING HATE THE WAY I ENDED THIS but I wanna post for my pookies

#x reader #nhl x reader #nhl x y/n #nhl x you #luke hughes #luke hughes x you #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes blurb #jack hughes #nico hischier #nj devils #luke hughes smut #ꨄ angie’s works.

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grapejuicestyless · 8 months

Text

Don’t Be A Stranger.

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

Summery: To Conrad, you are all things good in his life. But, it doesn’t feel that way when he keeps you a secret.SHES A LONG ONE!!(perspectives will switch between Conrad, Belly and the reader.)

Conrad had many secrets. Ones he carried not because he didn’t have anyone to share them with, or to trust them with, but because he chose to keep them the way they were always meant to be, a secret. A silent fact that only he would know of. And to Conrad, that was y/n.

Conrad still remembers the day he met her. It had been the morning after a particularly rough storm. Branches and trash scattered along the shoreline, sand messed into piles. But in the mess, sat a girl. Quiet as a mouse, breath steady and face calm. Like the place around her was perfectly normal. She remained unbothered at the center of the chaos.

Her hair had been up, tucked behind her ears. Her top was thin and white, a silky button up that was hanging low on one of her shoulders. From what he could see, her bra strap was light blue, the same shade as her jean shorts. Conrad believed that he had never seen someone so beautiful, not even close to what he was seeing with her. Even in his tween years, he felt sure that he never would see someone that beautiful. But one thing stood out to him.

Looking down, taking her in fully, Conrad noticed that her feet, which were half buried into the warm sand, were still covered in her now stained white socks. Now, he was never one to judge. At least, not verbally. Conrad had his own fair share of oddities, he knew that as well as anyone else. But he couldn’t help but wonder why she didn’t just take them off.

Perhaps it was the fact that he wanted to have a reason to talk to her, searched for a reason to talk to her, or maybe it was pure interest. But something inside of him urged Conrad to approach the girl with her socks in the sand.

“Why don’t you just take your socks off?” His words weren’t mean, or teasing in the slightest. Every word that came out was from pure curiosity and interest. The girl simply shrugged at his question, eyes glued to the water.

“Didn’t feel like it.” Short, but straight to the point. Her lips pulling into a tight, downward slanted smile. Her answer caused Conrad to pull his eyebrows together. Nose scrunched and mouth parted.

“But it takes like three seconds to get them off? And they’re white and the sand might stain them…“ He found himself rambling. Something he never did. No, usually Conrad had very little to say. Only really showing his personality around the residents of the Cousins summer home. But really mainly just the moms, Steven and occasionally Jeremiah.

“Why do you want to see my feet so bad?” In his rambling, Conrad hadn’t realized the girl had turned her gaze to meet his face. One eyebrow slightly lifted up and her nose scrunched barely. Her eyes squinted to look at him through the bright sunlight behind him.

He blushed, feeling embarrassed, and the beach fell quiet again. The only sound the seagulls and the waves crashing into the shore.

The girl sighed, a playful smile spreading across her face. Her hand patted the sand beside her in a welcoming gesture. Her head nodding in approval.

Conrad was careful, sitting down cautiously beside the mystery girl. His body was tense and his eyes trying every hard to not sm get stuck looking at her. He didn’t want to come off too strong, or as a creep, at best. But she was so magnetic. It was like she demanded his attention.

“I didn’t mean to be mean.” Her voice was soft, but carried an undertone of certainty. One that asserted that she was sure in herself but was gentle about it.

Conrad looked at her then, sensing that it was fine to really look at her. When he did, he found her eyes already looking at him. Curious but also shifting. She came across shy, much more shy than she talked. Like their eye contact was physically hurting her.

“You weren’t mean.” He had reassured her.

“You were just curious. I mean, it is odd. Who wears socks in the sand?” She wiggled her feet playfully, making fun of herself. But it wasn’t degrading. She carried too much pride in herself to do that. She did it in a way that showed she meant her apology, and lifted the mood in it. A shared laugh sounding between them.

“I’m Conrad.” He held out his hand, chest still shaking with laughter. The girl took it, eyes directed to where they were now connected, avoidant of his eyes again.

“Y/n.” Her eyes found his, and the smile on her face showed maybe she wasn’t as afraid and shy as Conrad had assumed.

Their conversation that followed after the exchange further proved that. Y/n was complicated, but not in a bad way. She was shy, but prideful. She wasn’t cocky either, but also didn’t allow people to take credit for what she had done. She was genuine and honest. She wasn’t sorry for being her. Unapologetically herself in all ways, but knew how to apologize and mean it when it counted. She was reliable but leaned more towards an introverted life. She hated large groups of people, but loved them when she knew everyone well enough. She didn’t have many friends, but she loved the ones she had like a family. Y/n hated the feeling of her hair on the back of her neck in the summer because she claimed it stuck too much to her skin and made her feel gross. But she loved it in the winter because she thought it made her look better. Conrad couldn’t have disagreed more. Even only seeing her hair up, he decided for her that there was no way she could’ve worn her hair that would’ve made her less attractive. She was perfect to him.

It had been years since that morning. Years and still, the pair found time for each other every night. Meeting in the same spot as where they met when the clock neared midnight. Y/n slipping from her bedroom window and Conrad the back door into the darkness of the night. Their meetings innocent, but secret. The two of them enjoying the bond that was only for them to know.

They spent hours out there, laughing and whispering dirty jokes and juicy secrets like young children gossiping on the playground after lunch. Their butt prints left behind in the sand the only evidence that they had been there. And the day would go on, everyone in their lives unknowing of who the other was, and what they were doing every night.

“And don’t get me started on Jo and Laurie. They were always meant to be platonic and I do not understand the argument that they could’ve been more! If-“ I cut off her ramblings with a laugh. Hearing the shy girl so passionate about something so random was so refreshing. Y/n often did this. She would find something she really liked. Whether it be a book, a movie or even only something that had been said weeks ago, she would find a way to make it known how she felt about it. A habit that grew more passionate the longer we knew each other. It was something she could find herself to get lost in. Just expressing to me how much she loved certain things. It made me feel special, important. Loved.

“And-uh…” My laughter seemed to throw Y/n’s rant off track, her mind losing its train of thought. She blushed, realizing how long she had been talking about one of her favorite books at the moment, my laughter triggering her own. Each word becoming messier and messier until it was only a laughing fit between the two of us.

“Continue.” My lips curled into a smile, eyes bright. She was sat in front of me, legs crossed over each other and pulled into her chest. Her arms were tight around her calves and her head that was once stretched upward in a daydreaming kind of way was now rested on her knees. Her eyes squinted and her teeth showed, pure happiness written all over her.

A beat passed. My foot was starting to ache from being tucked beneath my body, my other leg stretched out in front of me. Bent so I could rest my arm on my knee. The slight discomfort and shifty positions all signs that that night was ending soon.

I felt her fingers pass over mine. Touches feathery and light. Eyes never once leaving mine. I let her press her palm flat against mine, her thumb wrapped around the back of my hand, my thumb gently rubbing the back of hers.

“What?” I asked, seeing how amused she looked, how happy she was.

“Nothing. Can’t a girl be happy?” Playful as ever. I sighed contently.

“No, of course. You just seemed…I’m not sure.” I took in her face once more. I wished I had a camera in that moment. I would frame this moment in my room, make it my lock screen. Anything to cement it further into my life. So it wouldn’t just be something left in my mind. More than just a ring memory. Something I could hold.

Her hand pulled out of mine. I tried to clamp down on her hand, stop her from slipping away. I loved the way her fingers slotted between mine. How warm her palm was against mine. How my hand swallowed her whole. Still, she managed to escape, flopping dramatically onto her back and throwing her arm over her eyes to really exaggerate it.

“It’s just so beautiful out!” Her arms shot up, fingers stretched to the sky. Eyes bright with wonder and the reflections of the stars.

Like you.

I didn’t say it, but I should’ve. The stars were so beautiful tonight, that was true. But the girl I proudly called my best friend made them look dull next to her. Instead of speaking, I only laid next to her, hands intertwined and laid on my chest. I relaxed into the earth.

“This might just be the brightest they’ve been all summer.” She expressed. I turned my head to face her. Y/n turned to face me hearing the sand shift and our noses almost touched. I watched intently as her nose scrunched, lips drawn together in a tight smirk.

“Not as bright as you.” I meant what I said, but the way I said it made it come out as a joke. Something unserious, something light. And I watched as she took it that way. Though, a blush still did find its way to her cheeks, her hand pushing at my shoulder and a small groan of fake disgust emitting from her throat.

“Stop.” We laughed for the millionth time, looking back to take in the sky. The silence that overtook us was comfortable, still and calming.

“I wish summer would never end.” Y/n confessed. I nodded, feeling the same exact way. Not only because the warmth and the ocean was a nice sight, but because I had her next to me throughout it all.

…

A kick to my shoulder is what woke me up. Sand stuck in all the wrong places and my body aching with sleep. Everything felt drier that usual. Lips chapped and eyes aching in tiredness. The sun was high by now, the birds singing and the seagulls screaming over the soft melodies of the other ones.

It took me a second to register what was happening, where I was. It wasn’t until the second kick that I finally peeled my eyelids back and blinked until the blurriness faded behind the sleep stuck in the corners of my eyes.

“Dude, get up.” I groaned, swatting at whoever decided to wake me up so early. It was cold, I decided. Hands reaching by my sides to yank at the softness of any blanket around, only to be met with mounds of sand falling under my hold.

“What the fuck..” I whispered, still loopy. My eyes processed I was outside minutes ago, the sky and the water just feet away a clear sign that I was not within the confinements of my own room. However, it wasn’t until the discomfort of sand sticking underneath my nails and the feeling of it in mass amounts on my palms that my mind caught up to my vision.

My heart raced, and my head turned. There, just mere inches was the girl I spent each night with. Her back facing my face, hair falling messily from her braid and shorts riding up her thighs. Her skin was warmer, in the sun. I never really saw it closely. All interactions outside of our designated time frame from afar or short. Now I could see it. How the sun had made her glow even more so than before. How tiny freckles covered more than just her cheeks, and how beautiful she was in a brighter light.

“CONRAD!” This voice was much deeper in pitch than the original, and the kick was harder than the first few. One that had jolted me up, hand cradling my ribs to aid to the now fading pain.

I scratched at the back of my head once more, shaking out the sand and rubbing the sleep away with the firmness of my knuckles.

In the sand next to me, the sun cast three shadows. Two males and a girl. Silhouettes I could recognize from miles away. Even without any details other than the blackness. With a hand held out above me to guide the sun out of my eyes and a few more blinks, I felt sure it wasn’t my imagination. No, because above me stood the three people I wished I hadn’t seen. Jeremiah, Steven and Belly. All wearing different expressions on their faces.

To start, Jeremiah wore a almost disgusted look on his face. One that suggested he believed I was outside next to a girl for dirtier reasons. Stevens similar in that sense, yet his face was more of a proud smirk. One that led me to believe he was celebrating the idea. Belly’s expression, however, showed one of mixed emotions. She looked the most confused, a little more lost even. But in her eyes there were undertones of sadness, hurt. Betrayal. Even though it was clear we would never be more than friends, her maturity lacking and her attitude developing the prettier she got, she always believes something could happen. Probably because I never gave her a straight reason to my dismissive attitude and constant, “no’s.” But how do you explain to someone how your heart only knows how to love someone else. Someone she hadn’t even known existed until now. Someone you’d been hiding for years? You don’t. You just hope one day she’ll understand.

She was the first to break the silence. One so awkward and heavy it could be cut through with a knife. Clearing her throat she motioned to the girl beside me. I felt too scared in the moment, to look at her. Too shy to introduce her. It wasn’t that I didn’t want them to know her. I wished everyone knew her like I did, I think everyone would love her just as I do. But jealousy is a disease, and even the thought of having to share her made me seethe with it.

“Y/n.” The sound of shuffling made my head snap back, eyes wide. She was awake. How long was she awake for? Did she see the looks on their faces like I had? Did she care?

I watched her run out the sleep from her eyes just how I had done to mine. Her fingers swiping delicately underneath her waterline to wipe away any mascara that had smudged. Even sleepy and sore, she looked like an angel.

“Y/n…” Jeremiah bit his lip in thought, trying to recall if he’d ever heard the name before. He came up short, it sounded unfamiliar. Shaking his head, Jeremiah looked to the others to see if they had any clue.

“Oh…” Steven let out a drawn out, overdramatic sigh. “You’re the girl from the gift shop. Down by the board walk!” I lifted a brow at Y/n, she seemed just as confused.

“You were so quiet, the cashier had to ask you to speak up like five times!” He hadn’t meant it in a mean or sarcastic way, Steven never did. He just came across that way, and it was no exception this time. I could see it, how the redness overtook her face, eyes flicking down to her hands were her fingers laced together and tangled. She nodded, not too sure about herself. I could read it.

“Yep.” She popped her “P” awkwardly, still avoiding Stevens eyes.

“Okay, so what are you doing down on the beach at seven in the morning with her?” Belly spoke up, eyes flicking between us. I felt her gaze burning my skin. She tried to look like she didn’t care, but the way she was examining the two of us for any marks or hints that we had done what they had expected happened showed otherwise.

“We…uh…” I stumbled over what I wanted to say. I didn’t want them to go on believing something had happened when it hadn’t. Especially if it could make Y/n uncomfortable. But even more than that, I wanted to keep these secret rendezvous just what they were. A time where we could just be us and let the world continue to be oblivious to us like it had always been.

“It was my idea. I love the stars so, Conrad started looking at them with me. We just fell asleep last night, that’s all.” She sounded almost nervous, but that was only to me. Anyone who didn’t know her would think she sounded calm. But I noticed the shake in her voice. How her lip trembled for a second after she’s finished getting everything out. She said it quicker and quieter than she usually did with me, all things only I would pick up on.

The confusion turned to utter shock, even Belly losing the jealous look and fighting a gasp from escaping. Though Y/n hadn’t explicitly stated that this was something that had been going on for awhile, everything about the situation alluded to it. Their mouths remained stuck open, stuttering.

Maybe it was because even though we had both been adamant about what the boundaries of our friendship was, and clear in the fact that we were nothing more than that, they still suspected there was something more.

“I’m…I better get home before my mom freaks out again.” Y/n was quick to wipe the sand from her jeans. Anything that was in her hair long gone from her shaking it out throughout the conversation. Her legs looked stiff, probably from sleeping on the beach for so long, and her eyes weren’t fully open still.

“Yeah, I’ll drive you.” I was quick to my feet, not bothering with the sand like she had. A snicker reached my ears, soft enough I was sure Y/n hadn’t heard it, but loud enough for me to turn to glare at the three who were sure to be gossiping about this when we left.

Even when the distance between us grew so big that they became nothing more than tiny specks of darkness on the light shore, my heart still pounded. Beating louder than the sound my car door made as I slammed it shut. Not in a hurry to get her home, but to get away from them.

The car ride was silent, on my end, yet Y/n, who seemed to have a sixth sense just for me knew to keep talking, to both lighten the situation and my mood. She rambled on and on about her school courses she’d picked. About how lucky I was to be going to brown. Joking that she’d only be just a few hours away now, instead of across the country. Even though deep down we both knew Y/n was much too serious about her grades to ever come and visit unless she was far enough ahead in her classes. Her anxieties too high. She likes to overthink everything. Any interaction, anything someone had said. If it was rude, if it was unserious. She wasn’t overly insecure in that fear, but it was noticeable how she took the time to really think everything she said through. That was, until she found something she loved. Then it was like her brain detached from her body and she could just speak for hours without stopping.

I didn’t talk until the gravel from her driveway crushed underneath my car tires and the car was in park. She sat silently, waiting for a goodbye patiently. A playful grin stretched on her cheeks. My knuckles were white from how hard they were curled on the steering wheel. My cheeks just starting to return to a normal shade.

“You going to say goodbye or do I need to hug myself?” She punched my shoulder. I held it, pretending it hurt. It never did. I sighed.

“I’m really sorry, Y/n/n. I am.” I looked to her straight on for the first time since we’d gotten in the car. Before then, my eyes had only caught hers in the mirrors or in my quick glances to check the other side of the road. She looked just as youthful and happy as last night. Not at all like she was bothered.

“Con, really. It’s fine. Shit happens. Yeah…it was really, really fucking weird the way they were acting, but who cares? At the end of the day it’s always going to be you and me. We’ll never have to see them again.” Her hand reached up to touch my cheek. It was warm, like her. And soft. A gentle touch I’d only ever felt twice before, as it was too intimate for just friends to be doing. Or at least the in the way she did it.

I nodded into her touch, closing my eyes to breathe and calm, something I felt the most when I was near her. Calm, collected. Like I could think better, oxygen reaching my brain more.

“Ok, then I’m fine if you are.” I smiled again her palm, fighting the urge to simply turn my head a press my lips to her skin. It would be so easy, so simple. But friends don’t do that. So I pulled away, opening my eyes and licking my lips.

“Great.” She swung the door open, the click and the zipping of her seatbelt coming off quick and loud in the mostly quiet atmosphere we created in the car. “See you tonight.” I didn’t get a chance to respond, but maybe that’s how she meant it. So I wouldn’t have a chance to respond. Y/n walked off in a hurry, slipping the key out from under the welcome mat by her door and waving sweetly before disappearing into her house. I was already counting down the hours until I could see her again.

That night I was extra quiet leaving. Slipping through the back door particularly slow, I didn’t latch it shut completely, fearing the sound of in clicking shut that could wake anyone. A fear I never had before, but knowing of my brother and the Conklin’s tendency to stick their noses where they weren’t meant to be. I made sure to walk toe to heal, a trick Y/n had once mentioned. She claimed it gave you more control and would soften my steps. She was right.

I all but sprinted down the oak stairs, old and leaned against the sandy grass, a small hill that separated the summer home from the beach itself. I figured the creaks would fall deaf on their sleeping ears, the wind and branches of trees nearby swallowing it whole. I didn’t stop moving, not even once the sand kicked up around my shoes. I hadn’t bothered to take them off, in such a rush. My chest was on fire and my lips were drying, but still I pushed. I pushed and I didn’t stop until the house was far off to the left, still visible but far gone enough that even the loudest laughter would be only a whisper.

There she was, sitting patiently, stilled in her spot in the sand. Her hair was up, again, but she still when to tuck it behind her ears. Maybe out of instinct. Her eyes were focused in at the sea, where they always laid before I arrived. Totally consumed by the world around her, it wasn’t until my feet kicked sand into her lap in an attempt to be playful that she acknowledged my presence.

“Look what the cat dragged in.” Her smile was mischievous, but I was so easily fooled behind that fake innocence she radiated, her hand that was held out an easy trap. When I fell into it, fingers wrapping around hers, Y/n wasted no time in pulling me down harshly. Sand in my mouth and down my shirt. I coughed while she laughed.

“You minx!” Rolling onto my back, I yanked by the back of her shirt until Y/n’s head was beside mine. The stars above us and the ocean beside us. It was dry over here, the tide not touching this far out, so the ground was soft beneath us. Comfortable.

“You fall for it every time, Con. And you know what?” She rolled over, nose nudging into my cheek. I watched from the corner of my eye, Y/n’s body shifting away so we weren’t unbearably close. Only then did I turn, realizing that even with her silly efforts, it would only take me leaning in just an inch for our bodies to touch.

She poked my cheek, seeing how I was drifting out into thought. I squinted, looking at her, waiting. I hummed, letting her know I wanted to know. I always wanted to hear what she had to say.

“It gets better every time.” Her innocence completed faded then, the pure teasing side of her coming out, it was humerus seeing her so outgoing this way. It was something that kept me so attached to her. That pulled me to her. Enough that my body was up off the sand without her even getting another word in, hands planted on her sides and the most unserious look of anger on my face. We rolled around, sand covering every part of us. Our laughter echoing. The insistent tap on my shoulders signaled she’s had enough, Y/n swearing she was sorry, my grip left hers and the force that built between us in our battle threw us outward. Landing with a soft groan and the sand underneath our backs again. Laughter consumed us once again.

“That was really good.” She was sarcastic.

“Yeah? Well I bet you-“ Y/n’s lighthearted teasing called for a round two and the look in her eyes only further proved it was what she wanted. What the goal was. My elbows bent up, ready to get up in a moments notice.

She was always so willing to match whatever I felt, just as I did. Our energy syncing up perfectly. It made moments like these special, memorable. The more I waited, prolonging when I would strike, the more uncomfortable Y/n grew. Only this time, it was serious. Usually, her backing away was something that would happen. My looks could kill, and there was no way she could outrun me, out wrestle me. She had a tendency to want to take back what she started after realizing this. So her running off wasn’t unheard of. I would do it too. The breeze of the late summer night and the knowledge that it was truly just us in that point in time was something so thrilling. We could do anything. But this was different. She wasn’t backing away. No, but her eyes lost that sense of play. Of joy that they held. The sparkle dimmed and her head faced her feet in the sand. She sat up quickly then, unwilling to face me. Her throat cleared. Something was wrong.

Wanting to find what causes the shift, I looked around. Searching the area, trying to fix what had happened. My heart sank.

Walking rather enthusiastically towards us were the three people in the world I did not want to see again today. Belly skipping ahead of Steven and Jeremiah, all wearing big smiles and waving even more emphasized. I wanted to turn to Y/n, tell her it would be fine. They were just curious and would be gone soon. I would get them to leave, but that wasn’t a given. And I couldn’t make them do anything. So I curled up into myself, head facing down at my fingers that drew in the sand and I mirrored what Y/n felt. Uncomfortable.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I said it in my head, multiple times. Like the more I said it, the more it would be true. Maybe it would be better with more people. More the merrier, whatever they say. I knew it wouldn’t be, deep down. Y/n wasn’t one for big crowds. And I wasn’t the best with expressing how I felt.

“I told you I saw him leave!” Steven hit Jeremiah’s shoulder, pointing at us like we weren’t right there. Like we couldn’t hear them simply because we hadn’t chosen to acknowledge them yet.

Licking at my gums, a soft sigh tumbled out of my lips. Looking to Y/n, her I found her eyes had already been trained on me. And if eyes could talk, I swear in that moment hers would’ve been a jumbled mess. “What the fuck.” Is what would’ve been the underlining message, though. And I couldn’t blame her. Because I was thinking the same. What the fuck.

I tried to reason with her through my eyes. Signal that it might not be as unbearable as we thought. Maybe I could persuade her into being alright and she wouldn’t mind. She would be perfectly fine. I wouldn’t, how could I believe I could help her when she trusted it would only be us forever. A promise I made so long ago. I knew her like I knew my reflection. I knew she would hate this like I did. I knew she would go home and question tonight. I might get a few stray texts, but ultimately, she wouldn’t like it. She wouldn’t be able to be as open, and she’d close herself off.

“Hey guys. Y/n, right?” Belly leaned forward, holding her hand out for Y/n to shake. She stared blankly, hesitating. Her eyes flicked to mine. “What’s happening?” They said. “I don’t know.” Mine replied.

Y/n took Belly’s hand in hers, their touch awkward and short. Even in the dark, I didn’t miss the slight shake in Y/n’s hand, or how Belly wiped away her touch as soon as their skin lost contact. I had to look away. It felt weird.

“So, this is what you do every night?” Jeremiah spoke up, completely oblivious to the situation. I swallowed. I couldn’t look up from my feet.

“Yep.” I bit my tongue. I didn’t want to be rude, but I didn’t want them there.

“And you just sit here?” I nodded again, I couldn’t meet Y/n’s eyes, but I felt them on me. Burning into my skin like she desperately was trying to pull for my attention. I couldn’t look. I couldn’t force myself too. I was too focused on myself. I barely heard how their voices grew louder. A conversation being born. How they had started talking to Y/n. Forcing her to open up in a way.

She looked to me again, I met her eyes, but avoided them quickly after. I couldn’t bare the look she was giving me. “Conrad, please.” They begged. But these were my friends, this was my family. I couldn’t just get rid of them when they were so obviously excited to be around someone new. No matter how much I disliked it. Hated it, even.

She answered their questions at first, shared very minor details about her life in each story. But these were all stories I’d heard thousands of times. So I knew what details were being left out. And how I wanted to blurt out what was missing, out together the full story. Laugh and reminisce on how good those times were, but I bit my tongue. Silent.

Soon, though, her voice became less and less. The others growing more and more. Their interest diminishing while they became immersed in their own lives. Their own memories that they could smile at. Talking over her voice, not giving her a breath to speak. I met her eyes then, and like a silent conversation, it was clear the night was already over.

“Hey…uh, guys.” I cleared my throat, speaking for the first time all night since they’d shown up. It went silent around me. “I think Y/n and I are gonna head off. It’s getting late so, I should probably drive her home.”

“Already? Dude it’s like eleven thirty?” I shot daggers at Steven, he backed off. “Have a good night, I guess.” He couldn’t look at me now.

Their goodbyes were lazy, and rushed. Like even though they had crashed our time together, we were the ones interrupting them. Their time. In a hurry to get back into their conversation. So, after helping Y/n up, it wasn’t hard to slip away without much trouble.

Again, like the past morning, the car ride wasn’t the loudest. Only, this time not even the soft chatter came from Y/n. No ramblings or nearly unbelievable stories that in no way I would believe normally, but it was Y/n so how could I not? She was the most truthful person I knew. Plus, even when she did lie it was very obvious. That’s what made the stories even better. Because they were true.

No, this time it was a complete silence. Other than the faint flicking echo from her nails scratching at her skin, and the tap of her heal on the floor in front of the passenger seat. Her face was flat. No emotion showing. No hints at how she was feeling. It killed me, not being able to read her. I didn’t know what was happening, but I wanted to make it right. I wanted her to be happy.

I watched the confusion cross her face as her street passed, growing further and further away until it was so distant that it was unnoticeable.

“Conrad, what..?” He pointed out the window, looking over her shoulder to signal what she was referring to. I shrugged.

“The night is still young. I still have so much to talk to you about so I figured we could go for ice cream?” My eyes left the road briefly, flicking over to her face. Her eyebrows were still drawn together, lip bitten between her front teeth.

“I don’t have any money.” She almost whispered.

“Don’t worry about it.” I wished in that moment that I could’ve taken her hand in mine. Rubbed over the soft skin and assured her it would all be fine, that’s not where our relationship stood. As close as we were, there are always boundaries. A line that defines what is platonic and maybe not. My loving hand in hers would edge that line, and considering what tone she was setting in the car, it felt inappropriate.

…

Chocolate soft serve with rainbow sprinkles and a few strawberries.

It was her order. One I had memorized so well, so down to the exact detail that she wouldn’t even have to speak. Just a look at the menu and I knew what she wanted. The same as always. If it was anyone else I wouldn’t have known, wouldn’t have cared. But it was her. My Y/n. Of course I knew. Why wouldn’t I?

We’d only gotten ice cream a handful of times. The beach was our place. One of peace where it was truly just us. Everybody long gone, sleeping and unaware of our presence by the time we got out there. Here, the few who also enjoyed the peace of the night wandered into the cool building. Looking for a sweet treat to finish the night. It didn’t feel the exact same.

Like the beach, we had a bench here. Our spot. It was tucked away, closer to a patch of overgrown grass and rotting. Separate from the rest of the bunch. But it was more quiet over there. More secluded, the way we liked.

It was less quiet now that it was just us. Conversation flowing easily. But it wasn’t the same. Y/n didn’t go on a long rant about her favorite book. How A Little Life had destroyed her or how her favorite sitcom was slowly making its way back into her daily routine. And she didn’t eat as quick as normal. Her spoon stirring at the cold food until it was soupy, warmed. Untouched. She was off. I knew it. Even if Y/n tried to act like she was just the same, like her mind wasn’t somewhere else, I knew. I knew her more than anyone gave me credit for. Something was wrong, and I had a good guess as to what.

“Y/n.” It fell deaf on her ears. She kept playing at her food.

“Y/n, hey.” I put my hand over hers. Keeping my fingers bent to keep a small distance between our fingers. I hoped my warmth simply radiating into her skin would be enough to gain her attention.

Her head snapped up. Clearing her throat, she blinked a few times. Clearly out of it, it took her a second to hum in response. Trying to remember what I was saying. I gave her time.

“What’s wrong?” She shook it off, moving her hand off the table and into her lap. It stung, it shouldn’t have, but it did. After all, we were only friends. Nothing more. So the rejection of my touch shouldn’t have meant anything.

She was silent, shaking it off and swallowing down any emotions rising, forming a lump in her throat. She pushed it back. “No, nothing. I’m fine.” I raised a brow.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not.” She defended. My look only grew more knowing.

“Y/n…” I pleaded, eyes searching hers. She wouldn’t open up. Something I was familiar with. Never the greatest with sharing how I felt, not in the slightest.

“If this is about tonight, I never meant for them to join us. I hope you know that. I didn’t ask them to. They just did.” I started to explain. She shook her head, eyes glued to her lap.

“No, no. I know. It’s, really it’s fine. They were nice, so it’s…” She trailed off, unsure of what to say next. The space between us fell quiet for the millionth time.

“Hey.” I broke the silence, wanting to fix this. Fix us. She looked at me, eyes drained. She looked tired. I didn’t blame her. I felt it too.

“I’m going to talk to them, fix this, okay?” I assured her again, hoping she knew I would follow through. That I would make it all better. She nodded, eyes sparkling under the stars.

The night wasn’t what it was meant to be, but it wasn’t ruined. How could it be? I got to see Y/n. That’s all the counted at the end of the day.

The sand was cold in my shoes, sticking to the fabric of my socks. It was colder now, darker. The world even quieter than how Y/n and I had left it. The only noise the laughter of life long friends. A sound that should’ve thrilled me. My face should’ve been drawn into a smile, my heart beating. But it felt heavy. And my heart wasn’t fluttering. It sank, feeling sore, hurt even. I felt betrayed and I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like we were dating, we were only friends. Friends who hung out together a lot in a public area. How could they invade something that wasn’t ever truly hidden?

I didn’t know what to say, and it was strange. I went over it the entire drive home. How I would be straight forward, tell them flat out that they were not welcome here with us. That Y/n wasn’t the most comfortable around them like I was. How I hadn’t even been able to calm down until it was just us again. But looking at them now, faces glowing with the smiles they exchanged, hands swinging wildly around to bring the conversation to life, I felt like a party killer and my pace slowed.

“Conrad!” Belly all but screamed, excitedly waving me over. She patted the sand beside her, but I didn’t sit. I couldn’t. My fists clenched on the sides of my body, my mind racing. I drew my lips back into a tight line.

They all looked at me, expectedly, waiting for me to either sit or leave. I stayed cemented to the ground where my feet resided. I couldn’t move, not even if I tried. I was stuck there by some force. Something pulling me down. I licked my lips, swallowing hard. Eyes flickering around their small circle, I found the courage to speak.

“Listen, guys, about tonight…” I wanted to say more, I did. I had so much to share, to tell them. I had boundaries to put in place, but I couldn’t. Not with their excitement.

“That’s what we were just going to talk to you about!” Steven talked over me subconsciously, too excited to hear my tone of voice. To see how my shoulders were slumped and my eyes drooping.

“I have no idea how you kept Y/n a secret for so long, she’s awesome.” Steven continued, sparking my interest. No matter the situation. How down I was, how frustrated, just the mere mention of her name made my heart race and lips fight a smile.

“Yeah, no. I agree. I mean, she’s a little quiet but she has good stories. I mean that one about how she started coming down here…” Jeremiah continued to rave about her, going on and on about a story I knew in and out. About a girl I had memorized completely. And I forgot why I was angry. Why I had even bothered to talk to them in that moment. It seemed almost silly, how worked up I had been. All while they believed she was an angel, just as I did when I met her. So, selfishly I had gotten lost in all the good things about Y/n to remember that she was upset earlier. That this couldn’t happen again. And I let slip away into the past. Finishing the night with soft goodbyes from everyone and a sincere text to Y/n, wishing her one as well. I didn’t wait for a response like I usually did, I assumed she might be asleep by now. I just hopes she knew I hadn’t forgotten about her.

Waking up that morning, it felt like no time had passed. Like somehow, even though the sun was well into its journey through the sky, it was still midnight in my mind. A never ending loop. Day, night, day, night.

It was the nights spent with Conrad that held me over. That differentiated between the night and the day. A feeling that could only be described as pure sunshine, ironically, being what flooded my systems during the evening and the intense excitement for the night during the day helping to move the cycle on. Kept the world revolving around during the summer. But last night, hadn’t been that.

No, what started as pure bliss was cut short by the heavy awkwardness between Conrad and I, the laughter of his other friends bellowing over anything I shared. It was sweet, how he’d tried to fix it. Offered some ice cream and fought for some alone time. But it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t just us under the stars at the beach. And it wasn’t light hearted.

Conrad promised he’d talk to them, and Conrad wasn’t a liar. He wasn’t the most open, and he wasn’t the most forward with himself. Always avoiding the situations he was placed in. But he was true, and he was honest. If he promised he’d talk to them, I didn’t worry about if he would or not.

Truthfully, it wasn’t them that bothered me. Not too much, anyway. It was overwhelming, sure. All the noise and the pace of the conversation. Talking about everything they’d experienced, I’d felt rather invisible among them, so I didn’t mind. It was Conrad.

I didn’t care how invisible I was to them. I didn’t care too much about Belly or Steven, and I’m sure Jeremiah should’ve been important given their relations but he wasn’t. I couldn’t care less what he thought of me. I only thought of Conrad. And he couldn’t even look at me. I practically burned a hole into his head with my gaze. Begging, pleading for him to even acknowledge me.

But he wouldn’t pull his eyes from the ground. He couldn’t. Maybe I wouldn’t have minded, played it off like he was just nervous. But these were his people, his family. If there was anyone to be comfortable around, it was them. So it had to have been me. Something was wrong with me.

I mulled over the thought in my head all day, trying to figure out what I had done, what about me I could change. What could I do better?

It consumed me completely. I barley noticed how the sun was setting, I didn’t even realize I had made my way down to the beach. The sand beneath my toes and the moon high in the middle of the stars. It wasn’t until the waves crashed particularly hard against the shore and the last of the seagulls around called out that I found myself sat in the forever indented spot on the beach, a cemented memory of what happened each night.

I hoped things would be different. That just being around him could ease my nerves. It always did, he had that affect. No matter how tired, or worn down I felt, Conrad only had to flash me a smile and wave. And my heart would start beating and cheeks would flush a deep red. A feeling that was reserved for him.

And it started that way, fulfilling that hopefulness I held earlier that night. It was only Conrad, body swallowed by his red zip up and worn out shorts. It was something that made him so easily identifiable. Paired with that smile and his shy wave, I almost melted. Ready to forget the night before.

Only then, did I see the rest of them. Sneaking behind him from afar. Quieter than the previous night, which led me to believe that maybe he had said something, but the message wasn’t clear. It wasn’t just us and I knew tonight wouldn’t be what I wanted it to be.

Again, like a repeat, his eyes found the floor. He couldn’t even look at me. He couldn’t even be near me. He was so distant. Not only mentally, but physically. Leaning away, looking everywhere but at me. He showed no emotion. He showed no emotion, nothing at all. My heart broke, then. How the boy I loved more than life, felt the safest around hadn’t even had the slightest care about it. How ashamed he was, of me. It hurt to even be around him then. Only a reminder of how I wasn’t enough, not for him. Only meant to be a secret, a guilty pleasure. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to leave.

“Hey, uh…I think I’m going to go. It’s, it’s late. So, I don’t want my mom to worry.” I found a good break in the conversation, standing slowly and wiping the earth off of my legs. Flashing the fakest smile, I went to part ways.

The sand rustled behind me, quickly as if whoever moved it was in a rush.

“Hey, I’ll take you home. It’s dark so…” Conrad spoke, I didn’t even feel his eyes look at me. Not even then, not even while he spoke to me. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be around him anymore, it hurt too much.

“No, no. Stay. Really, I just, I need some air, so. I’ll text you.” I lied. I wouldn’t text him. He must’ve known. Because his steps faltered. Only then I turned to him, nodding goodbye to everyone, I left.

I didn’t text that night, laying alone in the quiet of my room. I stayed up all night watching the most beautiful movies and listening to my favorite music. Skipping the songs that reminded me of us. It wasn’t how I wanted the night to end, not at all. But I’d rather be alone than spend my night in a place where I was not wanted.

Just then, while I was turning in for the night did my phone buzz. A single text illuminating my lock screen. A photo of the stars and Conrad’s silhouette admiring them. It was from the boy on my screen. The one whose eyes were filled with love looking at the thing I loved like I loved him.

“I hope you got home alright. I really thought they weren’t coming. I swear. See you tomorrow? Maybe we can find another spot on the beach further down. Let me know if you’d like that. Goodnight, y/n/n.” He’d sent it with a heart and a smiley face. I typed for a second, hovering the buttons.

“Why are you ashamed of me? Did I do something wrong?” I erased the message.

“Goodnight, Con.” I edited this one, not wanting to talk to him, but never wanting to worry the boy.

“Goodnight, Conrad.” Sending it, I let the light dim into darkness, the moonlight shining through my curtains and easing me into a light slumber.

She’d left so quick. So coldly. Like it physically pained her to be here, at this beach with me any longer. All night I had felt guilt, guilt for my actions, or lack therefore of. I hadn’t kept my word, and I couldn’t even look at her knowing that. I probably had disappointed her.

I wasn’t as smart as Steven, as charming as Jeremiah, or as open as Belly, but I could comprehend what was happening. She was drifting, and I watched as she left me stranded.

I wanted to reach out for her. Chase her down on the beach a beg her to stay, for me. To just talk. Maybe we could go for a walk. I could buy us ice cream. Keep buying it until our stomachs were full and my bank account drained. But the way she shook off my efforts to help her made it known I was not wanted. Not needed. So like I did with all the greatest things in my life, I let her go. And I watch with tears in my eyes and my chest pounding as she left me behind, a promise to text me when she got home.

But I hadn’t kept my word, so why should she have kept hers?

Not hearing from her was the final punch that did me in for the night. The one that hit in the face that keeps you down. Struggling to breathe. It became more obvious she wanted not to talk to me. I tried to be nice, show how much I still cared. I’d always cared. How could I not? I tried to be sweet, as sweet as I could. Telling her I loved her in the only way I knew how. By showing her how much I thought about her, cared about her. She responded soon after. And she used my full name. It was cold, and it hurt, but I deserved it.

I always used to tell myself that if I hadn’t done something, haven’t said something I wish I had, I always had the next night. That was a given. I had twenty four hours to remember it and perfect what I wanted to say, and I could always just blurt it out into conversation. Our time together was easy like that. No conversation staying on the same topic for more than a few minutes. Now I was unsure. Maybe I didn’t have the next day, maybe she wouldn’t be in the mood to joke around. Only being there to say she had shown up. Mentally somewhere else.

That night had a lead up to it. Anticipation building to when I could see her again. I vowed that after last night, I would tell her exactly what was happening. Fix it, make it better. I just wanted to make it better.

When I got there, the beach was empty. Not that it was unusual. I was early. To eager to wait any longer. Even as the moon grew higher and the night later, still there was no sign of Y/n. Her seat left unattended and unused. Midnight struck, and she remained unseen. Familiar sounds of shoving and laughing filled my ears though.

Hopeful, I turned to them. The group that had ruined it as if Y/n would magically love them and be caught up with them. It would hurt to know she was late because she preferred to spend her time with my better friends, but it didn’t matter. I would wait hours for her to show just to see her even for a second. But of course, Y/n was just as present as a ghost. Still missing.

I texted, a few times. The blue of my texts staring back at me in a long line. Each unanswered, some read, the more recent ones not. My heart sunk a little. My face heated up. I waited, the longer time passed the more the voices of my family muffled behind the loud ringing that filled my ears.

“Don’t wait for me. I don’t feel like coming out tonight. Don’t come find me, goodnight.” She couldn’t even say my name. She couldn’t even let me know in advanced. She probably debated even sending it. How could I have let this happen? Been so careless, gotten lost along the way?

I looked at the others then. Silencing my phone. I should’ve felt nothing but pride, looking at the people I love most. But I only felt bubbling anger. Disgust. In their own selfishness, they had taken her from me. I couldn’t think straight. Hearing them laugh so carelessly in the sacred space that Y/n and I had created. Parasites in what was once a paradise. I lost it with the way they all looked to me, asking for my opinion on a topic I didn’t care to listen to. Too lost in thought.

“Connie?” Belly leaned closer, eyes fluttering. I saw the knowing smirk on Stevens face, always the biggest supporter of Belly’s obsessions. Her number one cheerleader. I could always find it on me to find it sweet, a cute sibling bond but now I only found it annoying.

“What?” It came out harsh. I meant it that way too.

“Woah okay, jeez I didn’t…” Belly backed off, and the looks that were shot at me were almost humorous. How I was the bad guy somehow. Like they hadn’t ruined everything.

“I’m leaving.” Going to stand up, the others stood with me. Sensing the mood shift. I was closing off, they knew that, they didn’t want that. Not when I’d been getting so much better.

“No, come on stay. Connie-“ Belly started again.

“No! Don’t talk! I’m leaving. There’s no reason for me to be here. Honestly. Does anyone see Y/n? Cause I don’t.” I waited for someone to speak up, to piece together the puzzle. When they all remained focused on what I had to say I let it overflow.

“Coming out here was the best part of my day. My summer. It was the one time I got to see her, she Y/n. And you-you just took that! She won’t even talk to me anymore because of you guys! And, and you didn’t even ask me. You just did it.”

“Shit, I had no idea. We thought Y/n liked us around. I mean-“ Whatever Jeremiah had as an excuse didn’t matter. I couldn’t stop.

“Did you even ask? You guys don’t even know her!”

“We do!” Belly argued.

“No you don’t! Not like I do. I mean, how could you? Did you know she hates big crowds? How it makes her anxious being around so many people? Or how about how she can’t stand being talked over. Her number one pet peeve? No. Or-or what about how much she loves sad books? The ones that make her cry so bad she gets a headache. How she’s so obsessed with romantic movies that she can quote them backwards. Did you notice how she picks at her nail beds when she gets nervous? And her legs bounce? She tucks her hair behind her ears and can’t look anyone in the eyes when she lies? How the beach is her favorite place but she can’t stand the smell of seaweed!” I hadn’t meant to go on a rant. Listings all the basic things about her to the tiniest details only her and I would know. I felt my face get hotter the longer I yelled, growing closer to the others, my head hurt and my throat ached but it didn’t matter. It wouldn’t matter until I had my Y/n back and everything went back to how it was before. Just us.

Their eyes were wide, some glassier than others and mouths agape. My chest heaved, everything felt weighted down. My lungs felt like they’d were closing everything was burning. I had to leave, I had to go.

Quick as my feet would carry me, I fled. Far away from where the others stood. Their voices yelled, but they felt more distant. The ringing returned in my ears, louder, more deafening. I couldn’t stop. Not until my bedroom door was locked and the sheets pulled over my head. I wanted to punch something, but found it in myself to refrain. I bottled it up, opening my phone shakily. She hadn’t sent anything else. I texted her again.

“Okay, goodnight Y/n/n. See you tomorrow? I love you.” I caught it before I sent it. Taking it back.

“Okay, goodnight Y/n/n. See you tomorrow?”

There was no response. I hoped she was just asleep, I couldn’t bare the idea that she was ignoring me.

Growing up, I’d known the Fisher brothers more than I knew myself. I knew who they were, what they did. I knew to go to Jeremiah when I needed help, but to seek Conrad’s advice when I really needed to think it through. He was less spontaneous. Really sat with things. Maybe that’s why I liked him so much. Because he was so mature. So level headed and calm.

Never had I seen him like that. Never had I expected to see him like that.

Seeing Conrad laying so closely to another girl, one who seemed to glow under the early morning sunlight and somehow was completely unaffected by the intimacy of it. It made me jealous, how close they seemed. How she looked like it didn’t matter. How it didn’t matter when it’s all I’d ever dreamed of.

I drowned in jealousy, imagining it was myself next to him, not Y/n. Not the ungrateful girl who was totally unaware to how my heart was breaking just looking at them. I truly believed I could handle it. Seeing his hookup, fine. He was a college kid. Who says they can’t do that? Why was I being immature?

But she wasn’t a hookup. She was a friend. Something that should’ve relieved me, but it didn’t. Because I saw the way his eyes avoided ours, searching hers to make sure she was okay. I saw how gentle he was when they walked. How when he’d offered to drive her home his hand ghosted over the small of her back. Not even waving goodbye, looking back. So encapsulated by her. It made it even worse.

He was in love with someone else. Someone who didn’t appreciate him as I did. I hated it. I hated knowing she got the special moments in his life. The quiet nights alone, talking and getting closer. I got envious. I craved it, wanting that so badly. I saw things through rose colored glasses.

Conrad liked us. I saw the way his lips quirked up when we swam, my legs swung around Jeremiah’s neck and Steven sat on top of his. I knew he adored the chicken fights and how he secretly loved the old black and white movies. He would never share it, but the way he focused in, mouth stuck open mid chew showed otherwise.

I became selfish in that, convincing myself and the others that it was great idea to crash their plans. See what was happening. I wanted to have those intimate moments that she had. I wanted Conrad for myself.

“Are you sure?” Steven had questioned, watching Jeremiah mix together a bunch of various fruits into one big mush.

Jeremiah looked just as skeptical. Unsure if it was the best idea, if it was overstepping. I may not have been ‘mature’ enough for Conrad, but I was always the most persuasive of the bunch. Even if I lost the fight, I could find a way to win the war. If I couldn’t have Conrad then, I would now.

So we decided on it. We’d stay awake, pilled together in Stevens room. It was directly beside Conrad’s. No matter how quiet he was, the hallway had one connecting floorboard the reaches under the door frame. When he stepped just right, it would creek and we would know he was leaving then. He was being careful, it was obvious. Moving slower, his hands bracing the walls so hard they groaned. He left the back door unlatched. His footsteps even and in a tiptoeing fashion. That was until the oak steps. The way he took off was almost comical. I’d never seen him in such a hurry. It made my heart sink all over again. Setting in the fact that Conrad had never done that for me. Never been so excited he just couldn’t wait, taking off just to be close.

Any second thoughts that I had went out the window, shoved down deep inside until they were to buried away they almost didn’t exist.

I wanted to hate her when we crossed paths again. I wanted to make snide remarks and unleash all the back handed compliments I could think of. But I couldn’t. She was so kind, so down to earth. She was quiet, reserved. But she didn’t shy away from anyone’s questions. Answering them truthfully and making them interesting. She was like the female Conrad, only less moody.

I wanted to be around her more. She was like the friend I’d always wanted in Conrad. So easy to talk to. If I closed my eyes it was almost like talking to Conrad in some twisted way. The more we talked, the less I realized she had stopped. It shifted from learning about her to reminiscing on old memories that excluded her. I hadn’t realized she was being shut out. Nor did I see her uncomfortable shifting or nervous tendencies. I wouldn’t have come back the next night if I had, but I didn’t. So when Conrad helped her make an escape, I assumed it was because of only his feelings. Not even considering hers.

The next night came and it was just the same, but Y/n was quieter and so was Conrad. It didn’t feel as light. Y/n leaving was only solidifying that fact. It felt more of a hangout between the three of us, Conrad and Y/n just there. It felt wrong. And it was wrong. It wasn’t my place to be. It wasn’t our place to be. It was Conrad and Y/n’s. It was then I decided I couldn’t bury my regrets anymore. I had to apologize. So I planned.

I planned if for the next night. The moment I saw her I would apologize. I wouldn’t give her a second to breathe. I would back off, as long as everything would be fixed. I wasn’t the most mature, but I didn’t want anyone to be hurt. Not even in my worst heartaches. I just wanted everything to fit together perfectly.

All my life I’d seen myself with Conrad. But he was never mine. So it became more and more apparent that maybe the perfect puzzle coming together wasn’t one that pictured me and Conrad together. It was one of Y/n and him, it was clear now. Now when she was upset, he was too. Only happy when she was.

She didn’t show up that night. At first I believed just what Conrad did. She was late. But with the moon rising and the air getting colder, it became more clear she had bailed. I saw his eyes dull, his posture falter. He looked defeated. I wanted to make it better. I wanted to fix it, but I couldn’t. I already did the damage. It was broken because of me, I caused it.

That night I lie awake, the ceiling get lower and lower. I debated knocking on Conrad’s door. Explaining myself, but I knew it would be no use. So instead I spent the time lying awake, praying that tomorrow would be better. That it was just a fluke and Y/n was only feeling unwell. That I hadn’t ripped apart row beautiful people in my own selfishness.

…

The next morning came and went. The light reflecting off the water and laughter just as loud as the day before. Cousins was alive again. The night almost slipping completely away. But as everyday does, the sun slipped behind the horizon and the day turned into afternoon, and that into night. And with the stars so high in the sky, scattered like splattered paint on a blank canvas, Conrad’s silhouette sat still in the same spot as always.

You couldn’t see it from the beach house, but if you leaned over the railing of the old oak stairs just enough, there he would be. In my head I saw her walking towards him, a smile would be on his face and he would stand up quickly to greet her. But Y/n never showed. And Conrad sat out there until the sun began to rise. His bed untouched, eyes tired. He did the same the next day, and the day after. Still, Y/n never showed. And she never reached out either. It was obvious, the way Conrad’s phone never chimed. Notifications only on for her now, waiting for her. Something only I noticed. But she was gone, quicker than she had came and the guilt that settled was suffocating I had ruined everything.

I couldn’t stand it after the third night. Watching him wait hopelessly for someone who wouldn’t show. It would’ve been pathetic if it wasn’t so romantic. Even his text messages left stranded.

“Is everything okay between us? I’m sorry.”

“Y/n/n are you coming? Should we just call it a night?”

“Goodnight, Y/n/n. See you soon?”

It was something I’d never seen in him before. Watching his fingers dance over the keyboard only to erase and retype millions of times. Overthinking the same way I did to him. I couldn’t bare it. Maybe if be out of guilt, or the selfish need to make Conrad happy, not hate me. But with a bit of digging and the use of Conrad’s phone, I had her number typed up. I swallowed, what would I say? It’s me, the girl who ruined the one hood thing Conrad had going in his life, sorry by the way. No, there was no good way to put it. But it had to be done, so I clicked it and let the phone ring.

“Hello?” Her voice cracked through the phone. It was quiet other than her voice. Only the faint noise of some nineties sitcom playing in the background filling it with something other than awkward ringing.

“Is this Y/n?” It was a stupid question. I knew it was. I knew her voice.

“Yea, who is this?” She was unsure, but something told me deep down she knew it was me.

“This is uhm…this is Belly.”

“Oh.” Her end went quiet. Only the television telling me that she hadn’t hung up yet.

“I know I’m probably the last person you want to talk to right now, but please hear me out.” I sighed. She nodded, I could hear the shifting of her head crack through the speakers.

“I want to say sorry. I know, I know it’s too late now, but it’s been eating at me and I had to tell you before the summer ended. I’ve loved Conrad since I’ve known what the word meant. He was always the older, kinder brother in my eyes. The only person who included me when everyone was so willing to give up. I idolized him for so long. Seeing him with someone else, someone he idolized like I did to him, it made me sick with jealousy. I couldn’t stand it, and I know that’s wrong. So it’s my fault that everyone crashed the nights at the beach. I was the one who plotted against you guys and I’ve never regretted anything more. The moment you didn’t show up, Conrad really laid it onto all of us. We were so caught up in ourselves, we-I didn’t see how it was affecting the two people the night really meant the most to.” I heard a heavy sigh in the middle of my ranting.

“Belly, this is sweet and all but-“ She started, sounding more defeated that Conrad had looked somehow.

“No, please. Please listen to me, please.” I wanted to cry. I almost did. I didn’t though, I found the strength to hold it together in my most desperate moment, it wasn’t about me. “That boy knows you better than anything he’s ever known in his life. He knows your likes and dislikes. What you love and what gets you going. He has your mannerisms memorized and your favorite movies. He defends you like his life depends on it and I know it’s my fault you guys aren’t talking, but please, he loves you more than he can show and he’s been sitting out there every night for the past few days waiting for you to show. Please go see him. If not for me than for him? Even if it’s only just one more time, give him the closure. Please.” There was no response, I could feel her hesitating.

“Okay, Belly.” She sounded like she wanted to say more. Like she was thinking something else. She didn’t though. She kept it in her head and responded in the simplest way she knew.

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

“Goodnight, Belly. And hey, don’t worry about me, okay? Take care of yourself.” I wanted to answer, but the line went dead before I could. Now all I could do was hope that maybe I made a difference. Maybe tomorrow Conrad wouldn’t be the only person sitting on that beach.

The call came unexpectedly, the number unknown. The naïve part of me wanted it to be Conrad. Reaching out through another persons cellphone because he knew I wouldn’t answer him. I wasn’t ready. The logical part of me knew better. And that part was right, because the voice that greeted me nervously on the other end wasn’t deep or slow. It was shaky and airy. Quick and higher pitched. It was Belly’s voice.

I knew it was Belly, the moment she even asked. But I lied to her and myself, acting like I had no idea. I didn’t want to hear her voice. It was like a reminder of what had happened. A reminder of who had started it. But I wasn’t mad at Belly, it wasn’t her fault. How could she have known things would get ruined, she was only excited? Or, jealous she confessed.

She had purposefully intruded on us, she had seen how it was ripping us apart and she continued to. She blamed herself and became the bigger person.

How could I tell her that it wasn’t just her? Yes, sure what she had done had started this all, but it was so much more than that. Conrad had been the final break. He was the one avoiding my eyes, treating me like a parasite whenever we weren’t alone. I was his secret, and it was clear he wanted it to stay that way.

I was never meant to be more. Why would I be when he couldn’t even stand to be seen with me? I was his secret, playing the role of a stranger when he’d see me on the street. Each glance random and short. I didn’t want to play that role anymore. I tried to get past the uncomfortableness of the expanding group, I thought that this could be the change, we wouldn’t be strangers anymore.

But Conrad obviously didn’t want that. No, he didn’t jump at the chance. He shyed away. It caught me off guard, hearing everything Belly had to say. I can’t lie.

Conrad was never the best at sharing his feelings. He would much rather sit in silence in his own self pity than to have to share something so vulnerable. I knew where he came from with that worry. Sometimes it just felt like he’d rather push me away than be honest.

It was refreshing hearing how Belly confirmed he had talked to them. How he truly did know me, he didn’t act like he didn’t. He knew everything about me, without a doubt. Knowing that he didn’t ignore that and felt confident enough to let that be known almost instantly killed all my insecurities I’d gathered about us. So I thought hard on what Belly said.

Conrad was sitting there, waiting for me every night because he cared. Because he wanted to see me, and he didn’t hide that.

Staring at the listless amounts of texts I had been on the receiving end of, all just as concerned and curious. Never one a hint of anger with my behavior, my sudden ghosting. I felt guilty.

He signed every single one off with a simple, “Goodnight, y/n/n. See you tomorrow?” It almost made me forget why I was mad. I couldn’t let these keep collecting, taking up space. Even if I felt nothing but sadness around him now, and everything was gone. Belly could’ve been right.

The longer the night grows on, the more I believe I will fall to the familiar fate of the loneliness the once lively beach brings without her here.

I knew I fucked up. I lied, and ignored. I acted like everything was fine. Like I didn’t care and in that, I hurt the one girl I loved most. The one person I would protect with my life. I hurt Y/n.

It was understandable why she wouldn’t show anymore. It wasn’t what we did. It wasn’t just us. She was being thrown into the exact opposite. Our long talks turned into theres. Her voice no longer ranting about what we liked, but being talked over by the others wants. She was cast away to the background when it should’ve been all about her.

I just hadn’t expected to be completely shut out. Not showing was one thing, but to be completely ghosted was another. It was like we didn’t exist. Like we didn’t know everything about each other. I didn’t need a goodnight text from her, but I would’ve liked one.

“Can I sit?” Looking out at the water, I hadn’t heard someone approaching me. My eyes blurring with the water collecting on my waterline. My throat burned. Biting my lip, I went to nod. Then, from the corner of my eye I saw it.

I knew that face like I knew my own. Her eyes were easily recognizable and her lips were still pulled into that same smile. Only now it was sadder, still just as genuine, but not as big as the last time I’d seen it.

“Y/n, hey.” It came out like a sigh, relief flooding through my body. She came, she was back. It wasn’t over.

She continued to look at me expectantly and only then did I realize she was still waiting. I patted at the sand enthusiastically, almost too eager considering what had happened leading up to now. I watched how carefully she sat herself down beside me. So close but still so distant. Her body angled away, head facing the sky. I could see how hard she was swallowing. I felt the same lump forming that made it just as hard to swallow myself.

“Can we talk?” She broke the silence first, fingers dancing awkwardly around in the sand. She drew stars around the rocks and pebbles scattered in the sand. Keeping her mind more focused on that than the rising desire to break down.

Her lip quivered, I saw it even in the dark. I saw how she blinked rapidly and her chest heaved unevenly. She was upset, she didn’t come here to simply make amends.

“Yeah, hey.” I tried to get her attention, but she could only shake her head. She couldn’t look at me. So instead I took her free hand in mine, playing with her fingers partially to comfort her and also to distract the bubbling sadness in my throat.

“Conrad, what are we?” She finally looked at me, her eyes big, looking into mine. She searched around to see if she could think up what my answer would be.

“We’re…we’re us.” I thought about it hard. The answer seemed to vague but to me it screamed everything. “I mean, isn’t that enough?” I tightened my grip on her hand. I could see my answer wasn’t enough for her.

“Conrad…” She trailed off, like she couldn’t get out what she wanted to. So I finished it off for her.

“No, you’re right. It’s all my fault, Y/n. I mean, these nights, this time we get to be together, I look forward to it every day. It’s all I can think about. You are all I can think about. And-and I guess I just got lost in that. I was just so focused on getting to spend time with you, I didn’t really care about anything else. How expanding who was involved would affect you. And I’m sorry, it was unfair. And I promised I’d fix it, but I didn’t. I fucking didn’t and you were treated horribly because of that. I just-“ I was cut off with a scoff, the sand falling onto my lap as she stood. I followed her quickly, wanting to stay close.

“Are you serious? Conrad I don’t care about anyone else, what they think. They can talk over me all they want. This is about us. About you!” She stepped back, looking around to gather herself. A harsh breath passed through her nose, lips turned down into a frown. “All my life I have spent chasing after you! Your attention. To me, you…you were everything! I used to count down the hours to the next time I could see you again. Conrad, I have spent these past years so embarrassingly in love with you. And you know what’s the worst part? I really thought I had a chance.” I froze at her confession. Her anger and sadness surfacing everything.

“Y/n, woah, woah.” My hands found her shoulders, stopping her with a soft sputter leaving her mouth. “I do, I do.” I promised, voice growing hoarse with the lump growing bigger.

She shook her head, closing her eyes, “Then why, why didn’t you do anything? Why did you make me feel so stupid?” She inched closer, still just as upset.

“I didn’t know, how could I have known? Y/n, I never meant to hurt you. I wouldn’t have done that, you mean everything to me. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” I was as honest as I could be, the desperation in my voice going from a loud, frustrated tone to a softer, slower tone. I wanted her to know I meant it, but I didn’t want to start a bigger mess.

“I don’t get it, Conrad.” I looked into her eyes, she was crying by now. “You ignored me for days and now all of a sudden you like me? Conrad, you acted like I didn’t exist for days. Like whenever Belly or-or Jeremiah was around I was some stranger. Admit it, you were ashamed of me. I was always just some stupid secret to you.”

“I wasn’t ashamed of you, god, how could I ever be ashamed of you?” She stepped back, my voice loud again to match her volume.

“Then why did you do it? Why did you run?” She was desperate for answers.

“Because I love you! I’m so madly in love with you, it makes me sick. I go to bed some nights and I think that you might be the only girl I could ever love. The only one I could ever be with. And it’s so embarrassing. To be so fucking obsessed with someone that it’s all you can think about! I couldn’t even look at you those nights because I didn’t want anyone to know. I wanted you to know first. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t. And them being there only made me more scared. I mean, I’m not nearly as smart as Steven, and I’m not charming like Jeremiah is. I’m not as nice as Belly, I don’t compare. How could I have told you when I’m not enough. I was ashamed of myself.” I could feel my own tears streaming down my face now.

“Conrad, I love you. But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep being a secret. I’m tired of sneaking around.” Even in her own frustration I felt her hands cup my face, thumbs brushing away my tears. My own hand wrapped around her wrists, not holding but resting there. I let my forehead rest against hers, looking around, trancing a triangle with my eyes around her face.

“Okay, no more secrets.” I agreed, eyes focusing in on hers. Her skin rubbed mine, nodding. There was no going back now. Both having confessed to something that was taking over our lives. Problems dissolving behind it.

Silently, I asked permission. I wanted her to be okay with it, not just kissing to forget about our issues. With the go ahead, I leaned in.

Her lips were soft, warm. Melting together with mine like they meshed perfectly. Made for each other. It was all so slow and sensual, nothing rushed. My hands found the back of her neck, just reaching the edge of the back of her head. Her hands in my hair. It wasn’t messy, or blinded by lust. It was a long time coming, and lasted just as long as both of us wanted.

Secretly I wished I could have her lips on mine forever, wanting to be near her constantly, but her hand in mine was a good substitute, a smile plastered on her face. Bigger than it had been all week, a blush creeping into her cheeks.

“Come here.” With the swiftness of my hands around her and the force of my body hitting hers, we tumbled around in the sand, laughter and smiles radiating off of each other. The moon grew lower and the sun rose higher, the night turning into the day. Our tumbling turned into a peaceful slumber, arms and legs tangled together to pull us as close together as possible. My lips rested on her forehead, the summer sun was warm and welcoming. It felt like a dream, but it was real life.

“I meant what I said.” She leaned it again, stopping to hear me out, smile stuck on her face. “No more secrets.” The sand stuck to our legs, falling out the backs of our shirts. Her lips chased mine, molding together wetly. She ran in front of me, laughing as I chased her.

“Hurry up, Connie!” She teased, my arms wrapping around her waist. We spun like a romcom couple at the end of the movies, still moving towards the old oak stairs. My lips pressed to her cheek, my own cheeks hurting from how happy I was.

Our feet moved quick, soft laughter and snickering stifled underneath our breath. My hand held hers and our heavy footsteps grew feathery light the closer we inched to the back door.

Through the glass I could see her now, just beyond our reflection stood my mom. A soft smile on her face and her hands working on creating another flower bouquet. She was focused, eyebrows drawn together and tongue pointed out that it was only the creaking of the sliding back door opening that could pull her from her concentration.

“Connie.” The familiar nickname that Y/n called me was one her and my mother shared. Her eyes flickered to Y/n, smile widening. I saw her wipe her hands on the old clothes hung around the oven handles.

“Mom, this is Y/n. She’s, my best friend and my girlfriend.” There was so much more to say, to fill in. I wanted her to know about the nights we spent together, what she liked. When we met, how we met. But that could wait. I still had so many people to share Y/n with.

After all, there were no more secrets.

#conrad fisher #conrad x reader #conrad fisher angst #tsitp x reader #tsitp season 2 #tsitp conrad #tsitp x y/n #conrad x you

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