#seeing other people i want to be friends with but cant get out to

[teddynottss]

• - ARE YOU FLIRTING OR STARTING A FIGHT?- •

PAIRING(S): theodre nott x fem. reader

WARNING(S): smutt

SUMMARY: theodore and y/n are academic rivals, and when one time she gets into an argument with snape and gets detention, the slytherin boy finds a way to follow her there

A/N: thanks for 100 followers ily all 💓

——————————————————

Everyone knew you and theodore were academic rivals, both of you had always been racing to be at the top of your classes for years now. However, you always were a few points ahead of him, so you always managed to find a way to brag about it.

You’d always rub your higher marked grades in front of his face, you’d tease him about it in the corridor, lunchtime, anytime, all the time. One class however, potions, was one you faced difficulty with.

Snape wasn’t the biggest fan of your house, Ravenclaw, neither was he of you. He gave you a hard time in his class, while on the other hand theo had it the way he liked.

One time in potions class, Draco gave Neville a potion which caused the Gryffindor boy to throw up slugs all over the room. This little show earned a good chuckle from pretty much everyone, and seeing as Snape wasn’t really trying to do anything about it, you finally snapped. “What the hell is going on?” you shout. “Calm yourself, ms.” Snape answered. “No, no! Look what hes doing to him, do something about it!” “Alright, shush now. This is my class, my business to handle, my choices to make and take.” He said, more angrily now.

“This is bullshit!” You shout. “All right, detention ms!” Snape shouts angrily. Just then, theodore punches blaise in the face, making his nose bleed. Holding his face, blaise speaks “what the actual fuck was that for?”. Theo then goes for another punch and thats when snape stops him using his wand, “alright nott, detention for you too!” you could see the little smirk appearing on theo’s lips as snape spoke.

Later ~

The both of you had to spend your night cleaning the library for detention, wonderful. You got there and to your surprise, theo was already there before you. You ignore him and immediately get to work, you wanted to be done and out of here in no time.

As you’re putting some of the books back, he approaches you. “You’re not going to ignore me the whole night right?” to that you dont answer. “But really, Longbottom, out of all people?” He chuckles. “What are you trying to say, neville is my friend and everyone always finds a way to make fun of him so i will not allow that to happen in my presence.”

You leave the slytherin boy in shock and he turns back to keep working on his part. After a while, he speaks again “You know that this whole problem thing with snape will cause you to fail his class?” he speaks.

“I do.” You scoff. “That means i have a higher chance of getting ahead of you and being at the top of the grade this year.”he teases. “I dont even fucking care nott.” You speak as you keep your face to the front, putting the books back in place. “But that wont happen.” He adds. You turn to him confused, “huh?”. “That wont happen i said.” He speaks.” “And how come?” you ask. “Listen to me, we’ve been academic rivals for years, every single time i was so close to beating you, but i never did, do you ever wonder how?”

You don’t speak, as you cant quiet understand what he’s talking about. He then proceeds to continue “i did it on purpose, i knew how much it matters to you, i read your diary in our first year saying how you were so bad at everything you’ve tried and that studying was the only thing you were good at, thats why i’d write the wrong answers on purpose. Id also steal potter’s invisibility cloak to sneak into the classrooms and change your wrong answers.”

“There is no way,” you say hesitantly unsure what to say instead. “Yes, you need to believe me.” “What the fuck, are you flirting with me or tryna start a fight?” He tilts your chin to look up at him, “i never wanna fight with you, i just want you to be happy.”

Just then you lean in closer and connect your lips. He kisses you back, tongues colliding, his hands land on your hips and he pulls you in closer. He pins you to the bookshelf and starts leaving wet, hungry kisses on your neck and collarbone. You moan at the feeling and grab his hair, to which he responds by biting the skin on your neck, slowly, then more aggressively. “Theo, i wanna thank you for what you did” you speak in between moans. “I wanna pleasure you please.” “You’ll only pleasure me by doing what i ask you to do, let me give you head until you forget your name, cara mia.”

Just then he lifts you so that your legs rest on his shoulders, he raises your skirt and lowers you panties. “God you’re already so fucking wet f’me bella.” He says as he begins trailing kisses around your pussy. You arch your back a bit, wanting him to eat you out already to which he chuckles before he begins teasing your folds with his tongue.

He licks your folds then keeps a hand on your thigh to make sure you don’t fall before he adds three fingers inside you all in one go. “HOLY FUCKKKK” you scream and squirm and squeeze around him, only burying his face deeper into your pussy as his tongue and fingers work in sync. You feel your climax building already, “im gonna cum, theo.” You moan as theo speeds his movements. “FUCKK, OH SHIT YEAH JUST LIKE THAT.”

You release and theo licks you clean. He then shows you some of your come on his fingers and he makes you lick them off his fingers. “You taste so fucking good,” he speaks, kissing you. You moan into his mouth then speak “let me give you head, please, i promise to swallow everything.” He breaks the kiss and smiles at you before beginning to remove his pants. You kneel between the boy, who’s now sat on a chair, and find the lace of his boxers.

You pull them down to reveal his hard, throbbing cock. You begin leaving trails of kisses along his v line. Then, you grab his cock and begin massaging it. He leans down to kiss you as you’re playing with him. You palm him and feel his dick twitch at your touch, then you take most of his length in one go. He moans loudly at the feeling as you lick around, sucking better than ever.

You allow your head to move up and down as you try to take more of his length, your nails digging into his thighs. He tugs at your hair, his fingers playing with your brown curls. The slytherin boy then pushes your head completely making his cock hit the back of your throat.

You gag loudly, the sound sending shivers down theos body. As a result, he throws his head back, moaning as you quicken your moves. “Ohhh, my god ‘hm, yeah, please.. mm.. hmh.. fuckkk just like that principessa.” The boy now a whining, whimpering mess. him moaning like that oml.

Without warning, he cums into your mouth. You look up at him between your lashes, your eyes filled with tears. He smiles down at you, watching you swallow everything. He then carries you and places you on his lap, “good girl, that was fucking awesome, tesoro (sweetheart).”

“I wanna make you cum one more time tonight, i know you have one left.” he speaks. “Only if you promise to come inside me.” You announce. He chuckles and nods as he begins removing your shirt. He removes it then proceeds to remove your bra.

Your boobs fly out, bouncing, also revealing your hard tits. He immediately lays his mouth on your breast, pleasuring your left boob, licking and sucking on it endlessly. He also used his other hand to pinch and play with your tit on the other side. This man, lord. He was only playing with your boobs and he was already gonna throw you over the edge again.

He then pleasured the other boob similarly, licking, sucking, and biting before he started leaving a trail of kisses all the way up to your neck. He then held your hips and slowly begin lowering you onto him, you were able to get most of him in the first time. Then, he gave you time to adjust before pushing more of himself in. You moan when you have his whole length in and then when you get used to his size, you begin riding him.

As you begin riding him slowly and carefully, he groans slightly at the feeling. Theo then places his fingers on your clit and starts rubbing hard which makes you feel yourself cum start to form. “Im gonna cum again teddy..” you announce. “Do it, f’me cara mia.” You speed your movements and so does he, you begin moaning at the speed of things to which he kisses you to stop the moans from being too loud.

Then, theo uses his hips to thrust deeper into your so that you’re practically bouncing on him. That is followed by him sucking on the sensitive skin on your neck, biting and licking it until you scream as you release onto him. As he’s helping you ride out your climax, you moan his name making him groan and cum inside of you.

The boy then grabs your face and kisses you hard, “i fucking loved that,” he speaks. “So did i” you smile back at him. Just then, you hear a sound coming from somewhere to which you both jump in fear and begin getting dressed. You manage to put your skirt and shirt on, but the slytherin boy only his pants before mr lupin appears.

His eyes widen in surprise at the site of the boy half naked, “a little hot mr nott?” “uhh.. yes sir” he says hesitantly. Remus then chuckles, “im gonna let it slide this time but please try to do it in a more private place and finish your duties too.” You both nod before moving back to your jobs.

#harry potter #slytherin #theodore nott #theodore nott fanfiction #slytherin boys #smut #theodore nott x reader

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for calling my friend s bad friend?

Basically, I cant stand people being late due to constantly being let down by family (like saying they would show up to my university graduation and then didn't, missing me win an award at an award dinner I was at but showing up in time for dessert, etc). I've been in therapy and am getting better.

I can handle 5-10 minutes of lateness. I can understand if there is an accident or traffic jam, just let me know!

But Jenny...

Jenny knows I have these issues, I had told her to her face about how I despise lateness and view it as someone not valuing my time or friendship, but I guess I didnt explicitly state SHE was doing that. However she was late two weeks ago by 30 minutes and told me "yeah I know you don't like it when im late" so she does know

Shes always late. Shes on time for work and her classes at university, but not for when we meet up. The first time she was 2 hours late, causing us to miss the show we were going to go see.

The other day, she was 3 hours late. She only lives 15 minutes from me and told me she had just made it home and was going to eat lunch then come to mine. When the first hour went by I texted. Then the second I did again. No response any time. It freaked me out because then I was panicked, like what if she got in an accident. 3 hours late she finally texts me saying "hey can we postpone until 6?" To which I told her we should just meet another time. If she had said she didn't want to meet up I would be fine with that, but don't leave the expectation that you are still coming.

So, today Jenny was supposed to meet so we could see a movie. We had to leave to get there in time. She didn't arrive at the time I told her, which was not the real time. 30 minutes go by I text her and she doesn't respond. I leave at the latest I could have and maybe sped a bit to get there in time. I watched the entire movie and she didn't text me until almost an hour after, by that point I was already home.

She got upset i watched the movie without her. I flat out said she was a bad friend for not texting saying she couldn't make the time, constantly making me worry when she doesn't show up on time, and even being aware that I dont like when people are late and choosing to do it anyways. She called me an asshole and said I was overreacting because of how my family treated me.

AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole

[lynchzitos]

the adam parrish - richard gansey situation is so REAL between two best friends who admire each other and have almost like opposites personalities. yes when you're the awkward one while your friend is such an extrovert and get the whole room looking at him when he enters is something that can cause this envy feeling. why cant you just be like him? why do you have to be so weird and cant talk properly to people? and then money. why did life came so easily for him and i have to f myself up for the bare minimum? his family is rich and amazing and have no problems and there's so much love why didn't it happen to me instead.

and then there's gansey, who doesn't understand why him instead of noah, who tries to measure his words but they are like swords. who never felt like he belonged anywhere until henrietta. who never felt like he was truly participating in his own life. who knew he was going to die and who was destined to greatness, which was wanting to live, but dying for a greater good.

adam and gansey, the friends that "when gansey was polite, it made him powerful. when adam was polite, he was giving power away."

gansey, who "was just a guy with a lot of stuff and a hole inside him that chewed away more of his heart every year. they were always walking away from him. but he never seemed able to walk away from them."

adam, who "what a lie 'unknowable' was. the only person who didn't know adam was himself. what a proud idiot you have been, adam parrish." and "for so long, he'd wanted gansey to see him as equal, but it was possible that all this time, the only person who needed to see this was adam"

adam and gansey "friendship of the unshakable kind, friendship you could swear on, that could be busted nearly to breaking and come back stronger than before. adam held out his right hand and gansey clasped it to a handshake, like they were men, because they were men."

#im not okay #the raven cycle #trc #adam parrish #gansey #richard gansey iii #blue lily lily blue #they make me ill #i cant do this #adamsey #the raven king

[sweatertheman]

a lot of smut and otherwise sexy fandom creations feel lazy in their concepts, like the person creating them was just skipping over all the characterization and stuff to skip to the part where you see big booba and big schlong.

i cant blame them or anything but i just get tired of people making the same boring assumption that being assertive and headstrong corresponds to sexual dominance. it seems to go together intuitively, sure, but it can end up being the inverse when you consider which character is boning which other character and why.

like, im sorry, but there's no way susie deltarune is going to be pounding asses and degrading her partner. susie enjoys teasing people, but she actually does care very deeply about her friends. she teases and mocks them because it can be funny, not because she finds it hot. and also, despite being assertive and headstrong, susie is primarily a scared person. she attacks others out of fear of being harmed herself. she fears that if she is vulnerable, others will take advantage of her, or attack her, or reveal her vulnerability to the world. sexual intimacy requires being at they very least physically vulnerable, and i cant imagine susie has the best body image. for her to even take her clothes off in front of someone would require either that she be very comfortable around them, or that she wants to connect with them in that way badly enough to put aside her discomfort. if she's comfortable with someone, she wouldn't have any need to put up a tough front. if she was uncomfortable but was willing to put that aside, wouldn't she be reserved and unsure, afraid to mess things up and ruin her chances with the other person? and if she wasnt comfortable at all, wouldnt she just prefer to leave?

maybe she'd be willing to be the dominant degrading person if she was teasing them, or if it was something casual with someone she had little investment in, but any of her close friends? kris, ralsei and noelle? no way she isn't going to be reserved about that.

plus, i cant imagine susie being very comfortable with sex in general. like, not that she's asexual or anything, but i feel like the idea of her being at all brazen or open about sexual needs of hers excluding rare circumstances is just ridiculous. mostly just because its something she isn't used to. sex, AND having a relationship with someone else. even if it was someone she was comfortable with, she'd still be extremely careful not to overstep any boundaries or be too much of a nuisance about her needs, emotional romantic and sexual, because she really wouldnt want to mess things up. for her to get into the kind of dominant position people imagine coming naturally to her would require warming up to for her. she'd need to know her partner was okay with it, she'd need to test the waters and ask for feedback, and even then i doubt she'd be super comfortable with the idea of someone getting off to being mistreated by her. i mean, she isn't comfortable with others being desperate for her validation, imagine someone being desperate for her abuse.

...oh damnit my complaining about porn turned into a character analysis! d'oh!

[ruinikaido]

i wish i was as social i make myself out to be irl, more social than the average awkward inept tumblr user is still not social enough

#anddddd i want people to like me a lot more #and i want to take care of my appearance more and not go in the same four bland legging-sweater outfits to school #wouldnt hurt to have a stable friendgroup and not be thrown around by the same couple of people 60% of whom i do not care about like that #would be nice if i was allowed to hang out in my old friend group and have them actually care when they never did also #i talk to everyone in my grade but because i do no one caresssssssssssss #well im going to uni next year i can fix all of this ^_^ #i dont like feeling people lose interest in me and feeling myself lose interest too im boredddddddddddddddddddd #(massively insecure) #extremely rude to say this but the majority of people i am currently in contact with irl to some degree annoy me if youre on here not you #btw i love you and i just mald over like #seeing other people i want to be friends with but cant get out to #i should be and im made to be more popular so whats holding me back #ughhhhh i feel empty ever since something!

[oatbugs]

my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you

#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot #of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality #friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers #more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso #he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her. #and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap #the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth #bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel #how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter #how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do #very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly #and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips #(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner #about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a #knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more. #he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you. #the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her. #red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends #we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said #jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes #i wish i had met you years ago. #crushposting

[fleshdyke]

#csa warning for tags #ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh #completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i #also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad #like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man #was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to #'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background #all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or #whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important #i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting #that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently #wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all. #and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head #like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have #to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it. #bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit #i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus #an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually #harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all #bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid. #and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is #but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core. #i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways #rambles #vent

[lesbiradshaw]

just started thinking about bradley as a teenager struggling with his emotions both pre and post his mother’s death/fall out with maverick but not wanting to reach out for help because a history of mental health problems can get you disqualified from enlisting in the service. happy saturday guys.

#that boy should have been in therapy from ages 2 on up like. #i def hc that carole took him to someone when he was younger but bradley probably stopped going once he was older and was given the choice #but like. idk. picturing carole trying to bring up him going back after she gets sick because she KNOWS he needs to talk to someone #and maverick cant be there all the time. but bradley says no because hes a teenager and hes started thinking about how to make himself + #appealing to the navy and that opens a whole other can of worms where carole sees that but doesnt want to deny him #because she can see hes already having a hard time with things as they are. #mav trying to convince him to go and bradley pointing out it’s hypocritical because maverick doesnt like talking about his feelings either #i just think people ignore his trauma So Much. they only pay attention to the maverick and goose bits #but they fail to consider how even before the maverick stuff happened bradley had a lot to deal with from a very young age #he spent most of his life on his own! he lost the people he loved most OVER and OVER… #the amount of trauma that must have come flooding back when phoenix (&bob but phoenix is clearly bradleys closest friend) had to eject #i think thats why people painting him as angry & agressive because of the scene where he yells at mav never sits right w me #that moment is so incredibly raw for both of them. bradley lashing out when hes just been triggered is not that surprising???? #anyways. #carolcore #bradley rooster bradshaw

[trainingdummyrabbit]

Muichiro 3, 4 and 12 for the ask game :>

goooood morning! hell yeahg.

3) A song that reminds me of them

sugar song to bitter step. yknow, that one anime ed. ohhh my god the minute i put it together it was All i could think about for Days. its. on my animatic list actually.. (which like, no promises but his birthday IS coming up...)

4) How many people I ship them with

uhhhhhhh none, really! because--

12) Sexuality hc!

aspec mui propaganda! greyaro+ace, specifically. i definitely dont Mind a lot of the ships i see commonly w him (re: genya and tanjiro, theyre very cute!) but... i just dont see any romantic context with him, with anyone really! a lot of his arc feels very personal, to him specifically i mean, in that a lot of it is focused on how He feels and that happiness that He wants-- which makes it feel that much more important that he just... Gets It. he feels like he understands himself, and that, genuinely, he Is happy with those he's around-- in the way that they are around each other. does that make sense? basically, when he's around others, he feels very self-assured. i cant really explain it well (because i personally cant explain it being aspec myself WAHAHA) but he just. he just Is! and i think he's happy with that. like... theres definitely Something going on re: him and gen and tan, but i cant say i think its Romance (whether its because we just dont see as much of them casually as we could or for whatever other reason.) like... they feel like they Go Together, inherently, 'obviously', and . the more i think about it the more i think i might just interpret them as some sort of qpr or something actually. like not quite, but . i cant explain, just. hang on.

yeah.

#this . took me so much longer than i thought apawlogies i blacked out and had to. yknow. you understand. nods. #pikasks #ask game #kny #like. i cant find anyplace to put this in-text so tagramble it is. #mui feels to me like hes just kind of. chill. he just Is. but theres a rare instance of people where he just #Immediately attaches at the hip to. like you wouldnt really be able to see it happen because he doesnt really outwardly emote much-- #but theres a Very Obvious Bias he will get. and he will just say or do things that make others double take like #. 'what. did he mean by this???' and he is blissfully oblivious of any Implications because he just says what he means. obviously. #hes getting a good grade in friend which is both normal to want and possible to achieve. #basically. picks him up. Oh Hes Just Like Me FR.

[silenthillbunni]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[just-eyris-things]

Vent post. Because i feel like kicking a hornets' nest.

Honestly im just tired of how people will call someone ignorant/uneducated and will go for the throat for every little thing, while they themselves say shit like pierogis all the time. If you're going to point fingers at others, you yourself should be without fault.

The question is... can you?

#im just so tired of all the shit that i constantly see on the internet #ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY DIDNT DRAW SOMETHING PERFECTLY #or ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY USED A DIFFERENT COLOUR PALETTE #ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEIR IDEA OF A FICTIONAL CHARACTER ISN'T UP TO FANDOM'S STANDARDS #i bet other people also get shit like that all the time #for example my friend is a writer and he just happens to be a cisguy and whenever i mentioned it to people #they would instantly start saying that they are sure he writes shit like she breasted boobily down the stairs #or i remember how i got told off for making trahearne lives au because apparently #messing with canon is just as bad as falsifying information in history books #just stop for the love of whatever's devine #this has been boiling in me for so long i cant even express it #sorry for going off in the tags in case you decided to read them #peace out imma go and read a book and touch grass #finally its green and soft again after so many rains and storms so it will be a nice chilling time outside #oh btw proper plural is pierogi without the s. singular is pieróg. you want to add s - say pierógs #ngl that pierogi-pierogis is one of my biggest pet peeves #like i wont be stabbing you over it or throw a tantrum and i will just move on with my day i have better things to do in general than #than throwing fits and also im not omniscient myself #like i dont know all the words in english and my german knowledge is very scarce #so i in no way demand others know about pierogis #just give people some room to breathe for gods sake #ok ok ok i think im overwriting this and i cant edit tags on phone so now fr im gonna go and enjoy outside and watch the squirrels

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one? #the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone

[the-good-luck-anomaly]

#good tweet anomaly #poetry #THIS IS POETRY TO ME.so at work.at my stupid gay job. i spend alot of time standing infront of tvs. just all over the place. #SO ALOT OF ADVERTIZMENTS ARE CONSTANTLY GETTING BEAMED INTO MY BRAIN.and honestly. i prefer TV ads over computer or mobile ads. #theyre still like. catching up if that makes sense. still feeling jsut a bit more human. i remember looking at the behind the scenes for ad #and thinking WOW!! they put soap in the glass for beer ads to make it foam up more!! they make food out of wax to make it look appealing! #they have to make such SPECIFIC MACHINES to rotate cameras JUST RIGHT for the PERFECT SHOT #THATS BEAUTIFUL!!! ISNT THAT COOL??just to say 'buy our stupif fucking thing' they bring together so many ppl #to do what humans do BEST!! THEY WORK TOGETHER AND CREATE!! THEY MAKE UP PROBLEMS TO SOLVE!! #scienceprojects in highschool were so cool sometimes. i remember working w other people to build towers out of marshmellows&spagheti sticks #these ppl werent exactly my friends. but it was still fun bc we were all really trying. bouncing ideas off eachother. working together. #i like thinking about how things are made. i LOVE looking behind the curtain and breaking the magicians code. #LIVING HAPPY MEANS FINDING BEAUTY IN ALL THINGS.so i will find the silver within the screen constantly blaring into my head. #so it cool to see ads that look like they took alot of effort and creative knowledge to make.could you imagine if it was all suddenly gone? #im on the side of robots. and its thegreedy n lazy n cruel people that want to bend a machine to their will. bc it cant yell and fight back #A COMPUTER MADE THIS BASED OFF WHAT IT WAS SPOONFED.its an amazing advancement of technology!but so was fire. #it WILL be used as a weapon.which is unfortunate.but we will adapt.we WILL adapt.in ways we may not expect. #got distracted n lost my train of thought. TILL NEXT TIME!!!!

[certified-anakinfucker]

ok this is unprompted but if you pride yourself on being the reason people leave a space for something they genuinely love and have done no objective wrong - youre a piece of shit btw. like full send youre horrible.

#cheeri rants #this is brought on by me finally letting myself get back into smth i loved for like 5-6 years #and got squicked out of by senseless witch hunts and trans/misogyny and the like #im really sitting here remembering all the nights i stayed up with amazing friends #the shoulders i cried on and the hands i held for others #the people who stood with me through some of the toughest times i can remember #we all loved the same silly things #we all poured bits of ourselves into everything we created and we shared that with everyone #i still so vividly remember lamenting that id never get to see our interest irl #and someone i didnt even know all that well dm’d me a few days later asking if i had venmo or paypal #because they were going to give me $50 to buy a ticket. they wanted to go but couldnt #for some reason i cant remember but they gave me their own money and told me to please enjoy in their place #and you know what? i fucking cried that night. you dont see that anymore #the all-nighters i pulled with my best friend watching the live reruns of our interest before we even got into the fandom #doing my homework while we were on facetime together squealing #and all of this came to a screeching halt because of some . PEOPLE. #who figured we were having fun the wrong way because they didnt like it #and we put up all the flashing neon signs to warn people #warn them of smth they should have already known #and just because people ignored those signs it was taken out on us anyway #and i have never been so heartbroken to watch one by one as some of the brightest people i ever knew #started leaving. breaking down. their light was being stomped out because some assholes cant mind their own #and i will be fucking damned before i stand by and let that happen again. to anyone.

[widevibratobitch]

moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love

#i mean if the alternative is whatever the fuck is going on with my best friend rn then hooooo boy #cancelling therapy immediately i never want to change i wanna keep my trust issues forever and ever if its gonna save me from THIS #is he a dick? kinda. yeah. and a coward because if dude was sure he didnt want it since AUGUST and didnt have the guts to end it till now #actually he didnt end it. she was the one who finally snapped. but we seriously fought twice before because she just woudlnt listen #when i said that girl this isnt gonna work and you trust him too much and you're attachment styles are incompatible as hell #your* #but nvm. the least you could do when a 7 years younger girl who's clearly obsessed with you is breaking up with you #cause she just cant take it anymore. and you can see she's still in love with you because you've been lying to her for half a year. #imo the least you could do at that point is just. dont tell her that jfc. just say you're sorry it didnt work out etc etc #dont fucking tell her you stopped being in love with her in fucking august #and just 'didnt know how to end it' and lied when she asked if everything's alright #like my god. yes ig this would never have happened if she hadn't trusted him so completely and expected love to fix her whole life #but jesus dude. she's not even 23 she has a right to be naive. you're almost 30. you DONT get to be a man child anymore #christ. okay. #anyway i wish i could help her but telling her to 'trust less' and 'never truly rely on other people' sounds horrible and cringe and edgy af #but i genuinely dont have any other advice #like babygirl im sorry but your bestie is a piece of human garbage and she's doing the best she can but her best is Not Much alas

[aroacesigma]

.

#ramblings #honestly ive had a really terrible holiday #like summer break is supposed to be good but seeing family wasnt fun like it usually is #the cousin i usually hung out with is an asshole now who didnt even want to talk #so the fun part wasnt fun #i havent seen any of my friends all holidays . i feel like shit and i feel fucking lonely #the only people ive interacted with really are my family and thats horrible because my sister acts like a stereotypical mean girl #ive got no fucking will to leave my room or to fucking eat properly or do just about anything other than sit in my room #and now im about to go back to school . ive accomplished not even close to enough of what ive needed to #ive forgotten everything from math . my tech is probably behind . english should be finished but its not #chemistry is completley half assed #and i know i should be getting up and fixing tht but i cant i fuckign cant do anything #its probably all my fault i have to stop staying up so late im so fucking tired #i dont want to go back to school i dont feel like ive had a break even though ive done nothing all holiday #im so fucking done with this shit #vent #ask to tag #i guess