#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one? #the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone

[rouge-the-bat]

i wish there was more of kurama and yukina interacting. like kurama getting close with her partially to try to rope hiei into being around her more (as kuramas presence will help hiei feel a bit less awkward and uncomfortable, and kurama can pull yukina into doing something if hiei gets overwhelmed and needs space), but also kurama genuinely has his own kind of brotherly love for yukina since she is sort of like his sister-in-law (tho he and hiei arent married yet, but hed like to be eventually).

like just!! kurama taking yukina and hiei on picnics!! kurama introducing yukina to various festivals and the history behind them! him helping her start her own garden! taking her clothes shopping to find what kinda styles she likes in casual human clothing! him showing her some fun music and teaching her how to dance!

i also really like kurama trying to help yukina understand what romantic love is like so she can understand kuwabara better and figure out if she wants to pursue him (as kurama and yukina are both arospec (and yukina acespec as well), so he knows what its like being confused on the subject, since hieis the only one hes fallen in love with, and it took him a LONG time to realize thats what it was lol).

#hiei is a little mixed up about wishing he could get close to her as easily as kurama does #but ultimately it makes him really happy to see his two favorite people being close #also i think it takes a long while- like years- before yukina finally develops romantic feelings for kuwabara #and i think shed be excited about it bc like she WANTED to return his feelings and get to experience romantic love #but was afraid that perhaps being a koorime made her unable to feel that kind of love #which kurama wanted to comfort her with the fact that hieis also aspec but experiences it for kurama #buuut hiei hasnt told her hes her brother yet so jjgkdjf #kurama instead goes for comforting her that some people simply dont experience attraction #and its not some sort of inevitability brought onto her by her heritage #and some may be hurt or disappointed that they cant feel attraction to people but that doesnt mean they wont be happy #n generally helped her come to terms with it that she may not ever be able to love kuwabara the same way he does her #anyways im just kinda spilling a bunch of thoughts here. basically as kurama- his and yukinas friendship is so important to me #kurama #youko kurama #yukina #kurahi #kazuma kuwabara #...whats yukinas and kuwabaras ship name #kuwakina #? #okay that seems like it yea cool! #yyh #yu yu hakusho

[kawataslvr]

Hi

Can I request a Mikey (tokyo revenger) x male reader.

Where they both know they love each other, but the reader is scared to date him 'cause they're both men. And Mikey is just trying to convince him (at the end the reader agreed), please ?

Summary : Angst -> Fluff ,, Internalized homophobia ,, hinted at homophobia from readers parents ,, He/Him Pronouns .

A/N : guys i rlly like mikey 😍🙏 this one hit very close to home 🪂

You really liked Mikey, yes he really did, well, as a friend.. right??

So why did his heart pound faster and faster whenever he was around him, its not like he was afraid of rejection.

He’s been told multiple times Mikey had a thing for him, everyone knew it. Wasn’t ever a secret since you two met.

You tried to ignore the feelings, everyone was just playing around. Because you couldn’t like a boy that was GROSS.

Right? thats what your brain told you, so why was your heart betraying you so badly? why was it craving Mikey so often?

It was probably just the teasing from everyone that was getting to your head.

Maybe thats why your heart dropped and then rapidly sped up way too quick when Mikey gave you a confession letter, you could tell Emma had helped him on it with how cutely it was decorated.

How cute of him..

You smiled to yourself before stopping yourself when your brain processed what the note really said.

Mikey just confessed his feelings , and he was in front of you.

He was waiting for your answer, what the hell were you supposed to say.

At least no one was watching, he had the curtsey to do this in private.

You still didn’t want to hurt his feelings “I..Im sorry.. I just..”

“It’s okay for you to say no L/N.” oh, your lastname? You’re heart dropped again.

You liked Mikey, loved even. But.. he was a guy, these had to be just friendly feelings.

“I.. I just don’t know how you feel about dating a dude..” your tone sounded a bit shaky, as if nervous to admit this. It’s not like you were completely against the idea of gay people, you didn’t care if one of your friends or someone around you were gay. You just thought the idea of you being gay was gross, because that wasn’t you.

“Well do you like me?” Mikey said bluntly

“Yeah, I mean.. I guess I do, but that doesn’t mean we can date we’re both guys..”

“Give me one chance, please Y/N.” Mikey did look a bit disappointed, not mad. Not sad.

You didn’t know what to say, “I can’t, even if I did my parents wouldn’t allow me.” Mikey put his hands on your shoulders

Was your heart beating this fast because he was so close? or because the leader of Toman was grabbing onto him.

“Please Y/N, we both like each other.”

After one final Denial Mikey left you alone, at least for the time being.

That whole situation didn’t stop him from sending you flowers and gifts after school and leaving you sweet notes during school.

No not at all.

He made sure to write his name in big bold letters on every gift or card, he needed you to know it was from him.

The feeling inside of you couldn’t deny how much you loved the gifts, how much you wanted to be with Mikey.

You had been avoiding him and his friends.

Mikey had sent you multiple messages practically begging.

If you weren’t so in love, you’d call this pathetic.

Finally coming to terms that you like him you were the one to message him this time, even if you never really gave a reply to his countless messages.

You asked him to meet you, quickly getting last second regrets whenever you thought about it.

It was too late now.

“Y/N!” Mikey said in a cheery tone, this being the only real interaction he’s had with you for almost a month now.

“Mikey.. I wanted to tell you something.” You became a mess again, why the hell were you all flustered? Just spit it out.

“If you want me to leave you alone I’ll stop.” he said in that same blunt tone, again.. but this time it was neutral and more understanding.

Mikey was ready to accept the rejection.

“No! No! I—“ why were the words so chocked up on your throat? ugh.. you were more annoyed with yourself than anyone else.

“I like you too.”

#tokyo revengers #male reader #x male reader #tokyo revengers x male reader #manjiro sano #mikey x male #mikey x male reader #sano mikey manjiro #manjiro #mikey #tokyo revengers mikey #mikey x y/n #mikey tr #mikey angst #mikey fluff #mikey x reader #mikey sano #manjiro x male reader #manjiro angst #manjiro sano angst #manjiro x reader #sano manjiro #tokrev manjiro #tokyo revengers sano manjiro #sano manjiro x reader #manjiro x you #manjiro x y/n #manjirou x reader

[ijumpbridges]

Hi! Just a tip, try advertising that you take requests in a pinned post so people know!! But, anyway, can I get Alto Clef, Jack Bright, Benjamin Kondraki, and SCP 035 with some kind of demon/hybrid/scp reader? Basically, they're pretty dangerous and chaotic, but see them as their mate and basically just instinctively give them gifts, feed them, and protect them LMAO

Scp 035, Jack Bright and Benjamin Kondraki x Demon/Hybrid/Scp!Reader

Omg, it publish while it was unfinished im a dumbass, and i can’t take down.

Scp 035:

At first he knows what’s up with you and your feelings for him.

He is going to play around with your feelings sometimes.

“You brought me a gift?” *Gasp* “For me? You shouldn’t have bother”

He doesn’t need protection but having you around to help him wont hurt him.

Will manipulate you into doing some bad stuff around.

“You know, we could try to kill that guy and run away together”

Might as well randomly abandoned you in a breach containment.

Might as well to come up with excuses to leave you.

Might as well leave you at a gas statin in Chicago at 1:00 in the morning with a cigar and a jacked.

Of course you can teleport and appear in front of him and scared him for his shitty attitude.

Will flirt with you and others in front of you.

The foundation will probably separate you from him since he is bad influence in you.

He is a bad influence but sometimes takes out the best of you

Sometimes will try to get you to host him, of course you don’t fall for it but you get to give him a new one.

Sometimes you two have conversations through telepathy.

Shows you his acting skills.

Somewhat of a chaotic duo.

He might as well tag along 049, who also tells you to stop hanging out with him.

Jack Bright:

The one who is most grateful among the three.

He struggles with depression, so cooking for him and bringing him snacks is the best thing for him.

Sometimes will go up to you to cuddle since he also need some comfort.

Might as well have some sexual intercourse with you.

The one who is less afraid on getting closer while also everyone knowing it.

Chaotic duo.

You always protect him and his body as well as the amulet he wears because you know how bad dysphoria he has.

You are the one who is after him making sure he doesn’t accidentally kill himself.

“You want to see what i can do with a bottle of gasoline?”

He had present you his brother scp 590.

You kinda adopted him.

Now, you also take care of him and visit him too, as well as to take him into the chaotic adventures too.

One time you three were barefooted outside on a hill looking at the foundation while a helicopter flew by with a water because you three decide to cook something especial for the anniversary of you two being ‘together’.

Another time was that you two ran away and a helicopter chased both of you, so you two go inside of it and drove it around of a texas highway, and park it on side walk next to a wendy’s.

Benjamin Kondraki:

He is annoyed it by it at first.

“The fuck do you want?”

Will tell you to stop.

He is an alcoholic you taking care of him is a big thing.

Draven coming back to check up to his Dad and find his place clean and no bottles, as well as food on the table.

Konny will have to explain to him that it wasn’t him, even if it disappoints his son.

He will be very wary of you.

Draven is kinda grateful for what you do for him.

Even so Draven is also as wary as his dad, you are a scp so don’t take it personally.

Leaving him snacks he ins grateful for it, but wont take it.

After a month he will start to take the snacks.

Not much of an affectionate guy, so if you try to hug him he will push you away.

“Listen, this can’t work, i appreciate the snack and everything, but we cannot be together, its against the rules”

He had said that you thousands of time, even so you still stick by his side, you never meant harm to him so he stop saying that.

He doesn’t like chaos since he is already chaotic, so you will have to step down in the making chaos around, unless is use to help him if something happens and he needs to step in to stop it.

#scp x reader #scp 035 x reader #dr bright x reader #dr kondraki x reader

[candyredappledragon]

h-hi! the name is kieran. nice to meet you! ive been here for a bit and uhm.... sadly figuring out how to use this site! ( kind of afraid of interacting with others especially but im trying my best to not be easily scared ! ) i am not familiar with technology and or online things/words so please be patient with me. i know there are other kierans here too and honestly theyre pretty cool! ....d-dont tell them i said that. im not really a battler so if you are trying to look for one then im sorry to say that you will be disappointed but you can ask the others though. really sorry

..uh thank you for checking my blog— furret youre on my facEXSFDGCVHH

🍎 Please no genuine anon hate, nsfw, or anything really bad. ( You can be mean to Kieran! ) Pelipper mail is okay ( but malice is off for now ). Sapient Pokemon or the likes of interacting are fine too, Kieran is too much of a goofball to notice it. Please don't give him Pokemon the thought is appreciated but if you do they'll turn into stickers lol.

Please don't be weird. I'm serious. As well PLEASE be patient with me and not be pushy. I'm trying my best!

This Kieran is in AU as to what happens if Florian doesn't lie to him about Ogerpon and whatnot! Kieran still doesn't get Ogerpon and is fine with it ( kind of, as in this made him feel inferior to having friends and will always be chosen over by other people. ) His way of thinking is that maybe he should try to be nice and kind to others so that will help him get friends as he sees Florian do this the same to others. ( The only thing Kieran thinks he's not good at is having a funny personality. He is very awkward in person. ) Blueberry Academy was hard on him as he was almost practically as ignored and students tend to forget he is the champion because of his cowardly personality. Florian took over later as champion. Okay there.

(By the way this is a summary please don't hurt me. 💔)

Plus I will try to draw for asks but they won't be the best but surely will motivate me to draw! If there are no asks then I'll just draw daily things with Kieran so it's a win-win for me!

💥 This Kieran doesn't like to get involved with stuff so feel free to drag him into antics! He isn't the one to approach people either so if you are wondering why I don't start convos with other blogs with asks that's why. ( I'm shy too. ) He's a bit of a coward online and in person but he won't shy away trying to be friends with others.

🍎 Posts are tagged to make things easier! Feel free to block one of them to make your experience smooth!

Art related: art tag , art reply , daily Kieran art

Text related: text reply/reply text , text ask , text post , ooc post , reply reblog

Other: long post

Anything you want to be tagged? Please let me know! :)

"Can we use your art?" Feel free to use the art or whatever! Don't need to credit and I prefer not to be credited. You can edit it too! Idgaf just no bigotry. :,] "What do we call you and do you have pronouns?" Uhm, you can call me Eight or any other version of the number 8 itself. [ Ex: Ocho, Hachi, Acht, etc ]. No pronouns! Refer me to by name or just call me mod or some other third thing lol. "What art program do you use?" Clip Studio Paint! "Are you okay with collabs?" Of course! Please feel free to message me anytime. :] "What time do you post art/responses?" Uhm....... anytime to be honest? My sleep schedule is ABYSMAL. I am very much online unless I'm busy doing comp. "Are replies time sensitive when interacting with this blog?" Nope! Take your time with your replies. I am pretty chill and everyone is pretty busy with real life. Fair warning I'm a ditz. :( "Why did you make this blog?" To draw Kieran a thousand times over until I'm dead lol. ( Even if it isn't posted on this blog!) And world build my stupid au. :u I'm just currently on a small burnout on drawing. I'm sorry. :c

"Is this a sideblog?" Yeah, you are never going to find out my main!! It's very cringe ( it has different media art ). I will interact with my other sideblog with thoughts and reactions at times. [ if you are curious @/hahahasquib ]

"Do you like Kieran?" No. ( Yes. A normal amount. )

#rotomblr #pokemon irl #pkmn irl #pkmn rp

[yeonjun4beagles]

not sure if u like toxic!txt so if u dont ignore this hehe

toxic fwb yeonjun who convinces you that youre both exclusive, getting so upset while seeing you even talk to another boy.. despite him being an asshole and sleeping around without you knowing. and if you do find out, completely gaslights you and says he wasn’t youre exclusive remember? he would never hurt you that way~

i looove toxic!txt so much, i just think i dont write them well... but i try to hehe

"why did you do that, baby? you do know you only need me, right?", yeonjun said in between kisses, hand grabbing your sides, his hips thrusting deeper. "ngghhh im so sorry, jjun, it was- mmh something important", you managed to mumble, despite broken. "whats more important than me, y/n? fuck, youre never gonna learn your lesson, do you? you fucking whore", yeonjun groaned, his hand coning down to kand a slap on your breast. "jjun, im so sorry, p-please", you teared up, so. afraid of disappointing him... "my sweet girl, you only need to look at me after this, okay? im the only one that matters", yeonjun cooed sweetly, his lips meeting yours as he came inside, painting your walls.

"i thought i was the only one youre sleeping with, yeonjun! and there you are, fucking other girls? i thought you said i was the only one!", you sobbed, voice strained as you stare at him from across the room. "what are you saying, y/n? what do you mean i slept around? you are the only one for me, baby", yeonjun uttered, his voice hushed as he came close, wrapping his arms around you. "dont lie, jjun... people told me things..", you tried to push him away, only for him to tighten his hold. "baby, look at me, you never saw me with other girls, right? then, why are you doubting me, baby? dont you trust me no more?", yeonjun said, holding your chin so youre looking into his eyes, a false gesture providing you a sense of assurance. "i only have you, baby, trust me", yeonjun whispered, closing in, his chapped lips molding into yours, reeling you back into his seas of lies and lust.

#moon <33 #txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #yeonjun smut #yeonjun hard hours #yeonjun hard thoughts

[pretty-chaotic-world]

if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal 

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow 

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining. 

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty 

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me 

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore 

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room 

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless 

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years 

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings 

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people 

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring 

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5 

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again 

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere 

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person  

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

#bpd #bpd awareness #personality disorder #borderline personality disorder #mental illness #mental health #mental instability

[biribaa]

I’m crying your write for stray- I’m in love Ty Ty 4 blessing me 😭 anyway could I get a momo comforting a reader with fluff? I had a shit day yesterday but ur writings just brought my mood up 100% <3(also idc what the reader is upset/mad about I’ll let u choose!)

More Momo conforting reader<33

AAAA IM SO HAPPY IT HELPED YOU!!

You see, this is the main reason for my oneshots, most of the time i write x readers when i'm really stressed and/or depressed, so i write cute scenarios of my F/O, or characters who are not rlly my F/O but are the F/O of my followers, and i have a cool sncenario for they, so i write it and post it, and then make people happy :]]

Im srry it took too long for answear, but i swear i'll make it worth it

Knock knock knock

You slammed your fist on Momo's door, you didn't even needed to knock, you could rest your head on the door right there. You were so tired, you didn't have the strength to move anymore, not even the mentality to think and every sigh you took only exhausted your lungs, you're so done today.

And the darkness around didn't help, the sky that was and always will be a "night with stars" only influenced you more and more to rest now.

The door opened only for your eyes to hurt from the yellow light from inside the robot house. And there, was a silhouette you could always recognize

"Well well wellI, you finally decided to show up, i was starting to get worried you know?"

"Yeah"

You walked inside Momo's house, every move was a scream asking for any kind of comfort to ease your stress, anything, you would accept anything now. So, seeing that the sofa was occupied with Momo's boxes, you moved straight to Momo's bed, you didn't take off your coat or shoes, nothing, you just threw your body that looked more like a corpse onto the fabric. Your face was not visible now that it's directly over the comfort, you blocked the sides of your head with your arms, preventing any ray of light to annoy you.

Well you know Momo is no idiot, he clearly noticed these details in your behavior, normally when you come back you smile and hug him, but today, only that? Did he do something you didn't like? Is he not being enough? Did someone hurt you?

"Hey" A voice echoed through the small room, it was Momo's. "You fine?"

You groaned in response, Christ, you didn't even have the energy to speak. You slightly turned your head until you could poke an eye out of your arms and see Momo standing in front of you, he was curling his fingers over his other fingers, it was a gesture he usually made, it was usually when he was nervous...

You wanted help, you wanted comfort from your boyfriend, to feel his metallic skin on your flesh skin, and listen to his advice as he pats you on the back. But at the same time, what if he doesn't understand? You are afraid, afraid of facing another disappointment with a person, afraid of interaction.

"I..." Words couldn't come out of your mouth, what were supposed to be words, just sounded like grunts.

"Shh." He placed his hand on your exhausted back, drawing circles that comforted your shoulders "You know what, I can see in your face how exhausted and tired you are, and you look ugly when exhausted, i hate to see you ugly. If you want, you don't have to talk about it, okay?" Momo said in a calm tone while looking into your eyes. As you stared with dead fish, dismayed and lifeless eyed, you slowly turned your face into your arms.

"I do not deserve you." You confessed, your humiliating tone hit Momo

"I should be saying this, Y/N." It was the last thing Momo said before you heard his footsteps slowly going away.

You gain enough silence to think about the whole situation, and silence enough to appreciate it. You didn't have any kind of misunderstanding with Momo, none of him getting stressed, or him being an asshole to you, there's no reason for you to be anxious around him. Momo actually understands you, and understands when you want to be alone, and understand when you're going to need him, was he really the best thing that happened to you since you came here?

All these thoughts made you tired... That's when you noticed for a brief second how your shoes were already bothering you, then, looking like an adult just out of a 10-hour shift, you took off your shoes with your own toes, it was even an easy and simple action.

It was a matter of minutes before you noticed a sign of life coming from Momo. You immediately noticed a pleasant food smell, and seconds later, a sound of a cymbal hitting wood, your attention is easily caught. You lifted your head, and on Momo's desk, you saw a warm plate duo the baked potatoes inside it.

"But you said–"

"Doc had some extra potatoes in his greenery and gave it to me." And again, Momo stroked your back gently. "Now do me a quick favor and get up, I want to do something." You, already being more than happy today for all your boyfriend's help, thought that you could do this minimum to reciprocate. You removed your arms that were around your head and lifted your body, placing your feet on the floor and getting up from the bed, waiting for Momo to do some kind of action after that

Momo climbed onto the bed and leaned his back against the wall as he sat up. He spread his legs, and looked at you, patting the empty space between his legs. You quickly understood the gesture, and got your knees up on the bed and crawled up to Momo until you could sit between his legs, and use Momo's entire torso as a backrest. The robot put one arm around your waist, and used the free hand to pick up the plate full of food and give it to you. Now he could put both arms around her waist

Your cheeks turned slightly pink, and you couldn't hold back your sweet smile. With all that, you easily felt safe, especially since Momo was slightly taller than you, and, well, obviously more resistant. You were amazed how such cold skin from a robot made your face so warm and your stomach full of butterflies. Woah, wait, so all this time you've never gotten along with anyone because they're human? And maybe you do better with robots? Damn bro.

You took one of the baked potatoes and put it in your mouth, it was perfect, for a robot that had spent years without human interaction, Momo cooked very well. The potato warmed every corner of the cold interior of your mouth, it was satisfactory. Without hesitation, you started biting the rest of the potatoes on the plate.

While you were eating, Momo clasped his arms around your waist. "Everything is fine now?" The machine questioned

"Yes." You hummed "Thank you so much Momo, seriously..."

"I'm always here when you're stressed, 'kay?" Momo gently placed his screen over your shoulder "Chu..." He simulated a kiss

———

Ok

I'll be honest, I don't feel like I liked this oneshot very much... I feel like I could have done more, but I didn't have any more ideas, I promise I gave my effort :)

#stray #stray x reader #straycats #stray 2022 #stray game #canon x reader #x reader #reader insert #robot x human #robot x reader #gender neutral reader #stray momo #momo x reader #x reader oneshot #oneshot #x reader fluff #fluff #angst #x reader angst #angst with a happy ending

[carmenthabaddie]

New wigs 💖💖💖💖

I am a real bitch and money is coming and ignoring my problems and circumstances and my current reality. I deserve to shine. I know my worth and put myself first and others last. Love my 3 new wigs. Upgrading my look. I’m high ass fuck. I take accountability for my life and decisions.

Planned my day night before in digital planner. And will be productive and busy. Doing laundry and other chores. I know my worth. It’s my time to shine. Black women deserve success and happiness and need making excuses for black men. Most black men are a disappointment to us. I am staying single no kids until I meet a high value man who is provider, protector , lover, friend, reliable . Done with bottom feeder men. Spirit and ancestors want me to speak my shit and shit on my haters all day everyday. Ladies remember your worth and let go of anyone who questions or lowers your worth. No one will lower my worth and question my worth.

I’m only concerned about getting ahead. Real ass bitch. Putting in that work and getting quick results that last. The level up glow up for the women who are honest and take accountability for they life. And doesn’t pass judgement cause they too busy living they life. It’s my time to shine. Real bitches love me. Everything I want I get no questions asked. David will be my husband and support my dreams. And be proud of my glow up. He will be my other half. Never hurt me always honest and true. I can manifest anything and anyone. My thoughts create. What I assume manifests. It’s my time to shine.

No one can stop my greatness. It’s my time to shine. And get lifted and higher and speaking my shit. Damn I’m fine. I’m a rich hoe. I look mad good. I’m a hood bitch. Laughing at my enemies all day everyday. I know my fucking worth. I’m so damn pretty naked. Gone keep intermittent fasting and one meal day. And diet drinks and water and low calorie hot chocolate. And workout on my treadmill and stationary bike multiple times a day. Outfits and gym clothes put out night before. And vlogging my level up glow up journey more often and stop procrastinating or feeling im not ready to vlog. Vlog not gone record itself. I gots to record and schedule and plan upload days. Im going hard. My reality is changing because I said so. Money falling in my lap. Im going viral period. More likes on this blog.

I love and accept myself and it’s all about me. Hoes hate cause I’m a savage and I hold myself accountable for my life. No one can do it for me. Dark skin women are beautiful and should be celebrated more often. Whatever I want he buys. He only has eyes on me. I don’t care what people think of me and my life choices. I make life choices for me and not peoples approval and validation. It’s my time to shine. I’m worth every dollar. I have came so far and blessed and loved and highly protected by spirit and my black ancestors. My pussy gets wet when he worships me. Women specifically black women are the prize.

Today will be good. I’m getting shit done. I’m putting in work. It’s my time to shine. I’m in no rush I don’t have to change overnight it takes effort and consistency over a period of time. I’m so rich and famous and not afraid to say no and leave when people don’t treat me how I treat them. Lord Baal and ancestors and Lord Ganesha is sending me so much money and opportunities and helping me overcome obstacles.

How I look? 💖💖💖

#black femininity #black hypergamy #hypergamy #spoiled girlfriend #black beauty #black girl moodboard #black woman aesthetic #black women in luxury #i wanna lose weight #black girl manifest

[placeinthisworld]

sucks to unstan someone you spent 15+ years supporting - yeah, I feel ya. I unstanned at the beginning of the month. It is weird. I have a weird yearning sometimes to listen to the music but I needed a clean break. I am not saying this will last forever, but this past year has made me kinda hate her in a weird way? Hate is too strong a word. But I just am not into it anymore. I have never idolized her. She has always been a pretty obvious white woman feminist only angered by stuff that affects her. But this year has been on another level. I think becoming an official billionaire was definitely the tipping point. There is no such thing as an ethical billionaire. She is hoarding her money and I can't rage on the guys who do that while giving her a pass. It also seems to have affected the aura around her. Even around Midnights release there was still something refreshing and down to earth about her. That has really vanished. I've been here since Fearless so it sucks but also has allowed me to put more energy in discovering other talent.

yeah exactly. it’s not hate, i don’t think i could ever hate her like ill always have this nostalgic love for her bc she’s always been my safe space. but it’s kinda similar to finding out that santa isn’t real. like oh! all that love and respect and support just….not the same a year ago. the release of midnights definitely brought a shift and i didn’t want to feel it. but it definitely become more evident last year. i literally would defend her to the ends of the earth but she doesn’t feel like the same taylor anymore, and im not about this high school popular girl persona at over thirty years old it’s just annoying. i was so afraid of the taylor swift overexposure during folklore- but damn i guess i didn’t expect it to get to her head. but it feels like it has. the disappointment is so real and it hurts lmao. like i have a whole ass shrine dedicated to her and it used to bring me soooo much joy and happiness and i now i literally don’t even like to look at it (ill prob end up selling most of the expensive items and keep only a few sentimental things) but bro being a swiftie was such an big part of my personality- and snd it feels like it died! there is no such things as a ethical billionaire, but i thought for sure taylor would be the one. but the fact of the matter is that at the end of the day she is no better than any other greedy billionaire.

ugh soooo true, if it’s one thing i’m thankful for it’s the freedom to explore other artists and musicians. i still listen to some taylor here and there, but a year ago today she would have been my #1 still, and she has definitely fallen down the ranks (but hey, maybe it’s for the best!)

anyways, i’m glad someone else is feeling similarly so i don’t feel like a huge bitch 😫 🫶🏻 like genuinely with the mix of meathead, palestine, the environment, and petty rich people drama…taylor has shown where her priorities lie and it’s unfortunately not aligned with who i choose to support

#answered #anonymous #don’t meet your heroes they’re all fucking weirdos!!! truer words have never been said tbh #every time i need a reason to be mad ill think about the 3.5 million dollars she essentially gave to the nfl/ that team specifically 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[cosmicerroraftermath]

//I wanna make an official post that goes on all my blogs rn b/c im just....busted.

I’m hyperfixated on some things, and have lost hyperfixation on other things, but whats the most important is:

Something big happened in my life that really hurt me emotionally. Nothing anyone did here, it was something else.

Only certain things are helping and I’m just.....my Muse to write on Tumblr has dwindled....and I’m so fucking scared....

I have Sovl and Sol in my dm’s saying its okay, and I know its okay for them, but I have other people who while they don’t interact w/ me, they follow me and like my content I GUESS....and I’m afraid to disappoint people on all the blogs and I’m scared to lose friends and followers and I’m crying but I need to step back and focus on the few things that are making the pain go away which is just...talking to friends, focusing on one thing at a time, and getting my shit situated because it hit me so fucking hard you have no idea.

I can’t go into detail, its so complicated and so personal it’s a train wreck, but know that it broke me mentally and emotionally and im not okay in the slightest as much as i try to smile and be funny for friends im not okay.

This is gonna be reblogged to all my blogs, but please know this:

To all my ships, my muses love their partners, they love them dearly and I hope we dont lose them while I’m on this little hiatus of mine, and i hope your muses dont forget that, just like i hope you dont.

To all my threads I hope you don’t forget me and know that I love you and what we’re doing and i look forward to coming back when im better and i’ll miss you.

I’m so, so, so fucking sorry.

God damnit I’m so fucking sorry.

#{Outside Of Time:OOC} #//Cried as I wrote this #//Still crying now

[dubsteplevi]

I just finished watch season 2 of Dead End: Paranormal Park (aka just dead end) and OMFG IT WAS SO GOOD. Literally left me in tears, excuse me while I ramble: (Spoilers for Season 2, duh, please go watch it if you haven't already before reading)

First off, the character Fingers???? So well executed!! At the beginning I was like, "something's up with him" but I couldn't put my FINGER on him (get it?? Yes pun intended). With that, what's up with the master?? He said he had a deal with him and it's almosy like Fingers was afraid of disappointing him! (I mean probably because he would/did get killed but still makes me wonder what made him like that to start with and how their relationship came to be. Hope we can see some backstory in a hopefully season 3) Also Fingers character design and personality is so good!! He's got this creepy vibe to him that immediately caught my attention and sjshdu. Not to mention Im gonna make either a cosplay or overall humanoid version of him simply cause I think it would be AMAZING seriously I know I'm supposed to hate him and stuff but I can't get over how well his character is made!!!

Second, PUGSLEY! NO! That entire scene of him "dying" (putting that in quotations but I don't think he's actually dead with that whole shot at the very end of the episode) with the other Pugsley (The Watcher? Idk mate) was also very well executed and did not disappoint and when they did that whole head nod thing towards each other I was like, "what are they- oh. oh no" I was literally screaming, kind of happy I was home alone while watching this.

Third, all of the callbacks to the first season in the last episode we're amazing!! Not to mention all the new characters and Norma coming out as bi to her mom!!! The whole gym sequence and Asmodeus (seriously if I had a nickel for every time Alex Brightman was in a show with someone else as Asmodeus I would have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it's happened twice, right?) ALSO ALSO NORMA ADMITTING HER CRUSH TO BADYAH?? THEN BADYAH REJECTING HER??? IT HURT TO WATCH BUT THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO SHOW THAT YOUR NOT ALWAYS GONNA GET THE PERSON YOU LIKE AND SUCH! And then Badyah saying something along the lines of her never experiencing romantic feelings? That left me wondering if she was aroace and just didn't realize yet! Not to mention it would be wonderful representation as if this show didn't have enough of that! Oh yeah, if you haven't watched the show and are still reading this, it has wonderful representation! Not only LGBTQ+ but also people who are hispanic and different religions too!! Please watch it it's so good I can not emphasize enough how much I love it!!

Overall VERY well made and I am very much hoping for a season 3 or at least a mini series to tie up what we saw at the end. If you have any extra things to add to this post PLEASE I would love to hear them!!!!

#dead end #dead end logs #dead end paranormal park #dead end barney #dead end norma #dead end pugsley #dead endia #netflix #SO GOOD #GO WATCH PLEASE #dead end badyah

[e-icreator23]

Another thing.

Sorry a bit of a rant or something

Seems like no matter what neither of us can ever make him happy nor my mom. They both are disappointed in me mainly since I came out to them. My dad will yell at us for little things as well as my mom but they usually defend my siblings when they do something bad like breaking something or them blaming me for something I didn't do. I normally dont talk to them since I have to be careful with what I say since he will tell me that Im too weird, question whom im with and talk to an other things. Im am scared of my parents and they dont trust any authority figure, police men/women, doctors, dentist, teachers etc.

Since I like to draw, they find it really weird since they dont like what I draw and it's nothing that bad (in my opinion). They hate who I talk to (they aren't bad at all just they like games comics costplays things like that) and most of all anyone who's LGBTQ+. They hate it. I know I was an accident but they kept me since their parents made them and then they wanted more and they were better off with them. I still remember when my mom slammed my head into the table because she was mad with my hair and when she cut my back. I tried to please them as much as I could and I still do, Im a people pleaser and my friends get me in trouble because it. Im told that im ugly, a fag, stupid, fat, overweight, and that no one would want me and it does hurt. I tried to commit (if you know what I mean by that. the bad one) before but it didn't work so I played it off. I was taught that you couldn't cry for much and if you did you were considered weak. If it wants a funeral or something of that nature then it was stupid for you to cry. They will make fun of you and say it to your face. They also aren't afraid of the authorities. I was taught that you can never trust and authority figure and to be on the look out of them. I still do and my friends brought it up and I had to tell them. With the police constantly having to deal with both sides of the families problems. Ive grown a fear to them why most times I dont ask an adult for help. There was something that happened where a person wanted to do acts on me and I was uncomfortable with it and I did tell an authority figure but my dad told me that I was stupid for doing that and when the security tried to talk to me I walked away. I cant talk to councilors at all now. Therapy is also deemed worthless and a waste to them as well even though it has been recommended but they won't do it. I dont think I will be accepted in my family and those who have came out to them in my family have "disappeared" because they feel uncomfortable around them knowing they hate that. I feel like that as well so I have no idea what to say to any of them. This is why I roleplay so much to get away from it. It's comforting to me. And it also goes why im scared to talk to people like foxalone, nova2cosmos and their friends since I feel like the dont like me from what my family has said to me. Like them, they are awesome and talented creators and I admire them but my family criticize me for liking art and for saying how I feel. I know that my family doesnt like the little things I do and so I think that everyone hates it so thats why I get nervous to talk to any of them or tag them. (also why I say sorry in some since I think im bother them) Im really sorry about this and I know not really anyone will read this far but if you did then thank you and sorry again. If this is stupid for you then I can see why so yeah. Just wanted to say this. Im really only living for my friends and my love. So again im sorry for this rant or vent or whatever you call it. Thank you.

#vent #vent art #undertale persona #persona #personal #wither #Wither dyrk #my art #my artwork #digital art #digital artwork #digital drawing #sorry.

[lovehours]

one day we’re gonna have a serious conversation about how misinterpreted daria, the literal main character of the show that’s named after her is. she’s either girlbossified or hated but neither are for the right reasons imo

daria’s not someone who hates everyone and everything, she’s someone who cares deeply about issues. she’s disappointed in the idiocy around her and how the adults in power who can solve these issues don’t do much out of corruption (ms. li) or are idiots themselves.

behind the sarcastic front that daria puts up shows a person who’s afraid to be alone and is afraid of being hated if she put her best effort in, making her not put any effort to reach out to others at all (“and im so defensive that i actively work to make people dislike me so i won’t feel bad when they do”). it’s someone who’s actually self depreciative and hypercritical of herself. despite her criticisms of everything around her, daria is deeply insecure of her talents, her appearance, and her ability to connect with other people.

this is why boxing daria is such an important episode to not only her but the show. daria was someone who was constantly isolated and bullied for being different, and it stuck with her. back then she DID put an effort in, and all it did was get her shunned and mocked. when she puts effort in to connect with others in the show (episodes like the new kid or the old and the beautiful come to mind) she’s abandoned or not wanted, reaffirming the pushing everyone away mentality that she’s had for so long. for daria, it’s easier for her not to get hurt if she has no one around.

but a huge part of the show is confronting this idea, the front that she puts up. the idea that daria is completely antisocial is denied by the show itself (her mother saying that her antisocial mask isn’t real, but if she keeps isolating herself it will become real in iify). having her acknowledge that she does want some form of connection with people, even if it’s not necessarily her classmates. it’s learning to appreciate those around her even if they don’t completely understand her because they love her (and realizing that she wants to have her family around her despite their flaws/that she wants to be loved by someone). it’s learning that the attitude she has to cope will only hurt her in the end.

so she grows. she acknowledges her mistakes and the fact that she isn’t always right. she realizes that her worldview is actually quite small because she’s only a teenager and she still has a lot to learn. she reaches out to children who she believes may suffer the same fate she did growing up. she stands up for classmates who she may not respect, but she feels that are being exploited. she begins to expand her worldview and grows closer to quinn who once represented every problem she had with being a teenager. she starts to allow people into the bubble few could enter. she starts to show how much she truly cares about things, getting out of her comfort zone by submitting her work that she’s passionate about to newspapers. but people still like to act like she has no interest in anything at all and just doesn’t care.

daria is a teenage girl. an incredibly flawed teenage girl, but a teenage girl nonetheless. one who we see grow massively over the course of five seasons and it’s annoying to see people treat her growth as if it didn’t exist. if you sit here and try and tell me daria is the same person from esteemsters to is it college yet you need to rewatch LOL. and it’s just so tiring to see her mischaracterized so often despite her arc being so clear

#daria #long post #idk if this is coherent but. well #got a dumbass comment on tiktok and had to just get this out somewhere that isn’t my twitter

[enhasubs]

sunghoon…

warning: smut

“i choose sunghoon,” you looked away, afraid of the disappointment that could be seen on the others faces.

“woohoo! suck it!” sunghoon cheered, making you chuckle. thank goodness you were turned away so the others couldn’t see you laughing.

“dude! this is not the time to gloat!” jay hit him on the arm, scolding him for being insensitive to the people who got their feelings hurt due to your choice.

“i hope you’re happy with your choice y/n,” heeseung sighed, getting up to leave.

you turned around and watched him walk away with pained eyes.

“don’t worry about him y/n, he’ll get over it. i just hope you’re sure about your choice and that you won’t have any regrets,” jake smiled to you.

you looked at sunghoon, smiling happily like a child on their birthday before looking back at jake, “i’m 100% sure about my choice jake.”

“if you’re happy, i’m happy,” he patted your head before leaving with jay.

“so…” suddenly sunghoon was shy.

“not so cocky now huh?”

“i dont know what to say.”

“you dont have to say anything at all if you don’t want to.”

“huh?” you cut him off, kissing him a little too rough that the two of you ended up falling into the pool.

“shit! are you okay y/n?” sunghoon pulled away, his entire body soaked in the chlorine filled water to the point that you could see his entire chest through his white t-shirt.

“who said you could stop kissing me?” you pulled him back in, wrapping your legs around him and your arms around his neck as you continued slowly moving your mouths and tongues together, “i wanna take this further, right here and right now.”

“what?” sunghoon was shocked. somehow he was shy now even though he’d been so cocky before.

“don’t you want to put that third leg to use?” you chuckled.

“i thought you’d never ask,” he smirked, lifting you out of the water to sit on the edge of the pool with only your legs in the water itself. the air made your wet body feel cool, making your nipples harden. visible enough to see through your shirt but all sunghoon could look at was your face with stars in his own eyes as he admired you from in the pool.

he slipped your soaking pants and underwear off and placed them beside you, giving you the look of asking for permission before proceeding to dive his tongue between your folds.

your nipples began hardening even more now from arousal as you tugged on sunghoons silver locks, biting your bottom lip to hold in your moans as he gently sucked on your clit.

your plan to hold in those moans didnt seem to work as soon as sunghoon stuck two of his slender fingers into your hole. “fuck yes y/n, let me hear those pretty moans of yours,” sunghoon groaned as he curved his fingers inside you and repeatedly hit your sweet spot causing you to clench around him.

he sped up his movements and continued to swirl his tongue around your clit as he looked up at you with your head thrown back, not even caring who could hear your load moans.

your legs began closing on their own as you got closer and closer to cumming but sunghoon used his other hand to keep them open. he gripped your thigh so hard that his fingernails dug into your skin which stung a little but added to the pleasure.

“im so fucking close!” you whined.

“be a good girl and cum for me y/n,” sunghoon pulled his head away from its position between your legs before going back in, this time much more rough.

you pretty much screamed his name as you came and sunghoon couldn’t help but smirk at that as he ate you out. but you wouldn’t know how cocky he was about that until much later into your relationship.

“you don’t know how much i need to fuck that pretty pussy of yours now,” sunghoon kissed your thighs as he looked up at your sweat covered face. he saw you as the most beautiful person to ever exist in this universe as pieces of your hair stuck to the sweat on your forehead and blood red cheeks. you were breathless and couldnt find any words to say after that mind blowing orgasm so you just slipped back into the pool and kissed sunghoon, slowly removing the wet clothes that clung to his body.

“can i?” sunghoon lined his hard cock up with your hole, teasing your clit and the entrance before slowly sliding into you after getting a nod and a lip bite of approval.

sunghoon buried his face into your neck to muffle his moans as he slowly sunk you down on his length. you were so tight around him because he was the thickest you had ever taken and sunghoon swore all the blood from his brain went to his dick as you clenched even tighter around him because you were still sensitive from the orgasm a few minutes ago.

“you feel so good y/n, i have no idea how im gonna last,” he mumbled into your shoulder, lightly sinking his pointy teeth into your skin, moaning even more as you helped him guide you up and down on his length a little faster now.

“sunghoon, i think you’re taking the vampire concept too literally,” you cried out, chuckling a little as sunghoons eyes widened in shock at the mark and small amount of blood he left on your shoulder (not enough blood to be a problem).

“im so sorry y/n!”

“you can make it up to me by fucking the shit out of me park sunghoon,” you smirked as he walked with you in his arms over to one of the steps in the pool so you could rest your back on it and so it would be much easier for sunghoon to look at you as he gave you the best dick of your life (no shade to jay, you just don’t remember how good he also was).

sunghoon gritted his teeth as he picked up the speed of his thrusts into you, taking a mental picture of every part of your face and body underneath him. your heavy eyelids, the way your eyebrows furrowed everytime he pounded into you a little deeper than the previous thrust, the slight part of your lips, your chest moving up and down with every movement he made, and your hands on his waist. god, he loved your gorgeous hands. he took one of them in his hand and kissed the back of your palm before holding it up to his cheek as he looked into your eyes with pure love an adoration.

you had no idea that sunghoon could be so sappy.

“fuck! i think im gonna cum,” sunghoon groaned, beginning to pull out of you but you stopped him by grabbing his hips and sliding his body right back into yours.

“i want you to cum in me,” you look up at him through your eyelashes, making him melt.

“anything for you, y/n,” he smiled as he picked up the pace of his thrusts again, eager for sweet release. “i’m so close i-” he moaned the prettiest moan you had ever heard as he came inside you, “that was incredible,” he was breathless. he gave you a little peck on the lips before pulling out of you.

“shit! our clothes are soaking wet! how are we gonna get back to the hotel rooms?” sunghoon began to freak out.

“what if we wait for our clothes to air dry and… go for a few more rounds?” you suggested.

“you think i still have any left in me after that?”

“you’re really gonna pass up the opportunity to fuck me until sunrise park sunghoon?” you raised your eyebrow at him.

“absolutely not, get over here,” sunghoon laughed, wrapping you up in his arms.

–

1 year later…

you sat across from sunghoon at a fancy restaurant because it was now your 1 year anniversary.

“i love doing normal things like this with you,” you smiled at him, placing your hand on top of his. *buzz* “fuck!” you cursed under your breath, “you’re enjoying this a little too much.”

“thanks for the anniversary gift y/n,” sunghoon smirked, holding up the small remote control for a pair of vibration panties which you were currently wearing.

“put that away!” you half whispered, half yelled as you smacked his hand back down on the table which only made the remote set off the panties, making you moan as you bit your lip.

“seems like you’re enjoying it a little more than i am y/n,” sunghoon teased, pressing the button again.

“i- sunghoon fuck!” you quietly cursed.

“could we have the check please?” sunghoon flagged down the waiter before turning to you, “i think its time to go back to the dorms and let you finish.”

“finally!” you sighed, rolling your eyes playfully at him.

“vibrating panties in public? check,” he smiled to himself as he crossed it off a list in his phone.

after your first night together, sunghoon had vowed to try everything with you because life was too short to waste the opportunity of being intimate every second of the day.

and every second you two weren’t having sex, sunghoon was a clingy romantic. there was so much skinship and pda because he had to let the entire world know that he was yours and you were his.

forever.

[memes4theshadowwarrior]

We were mindless kids,

All fucked up in our own way

The four of us had problems

That we didn’t speak about

Just linked up smoked and then we dreamed about

Better days

No attention from the home so we got it in our own ways

Coming home late after school after a long day

We didn’t give a fuck, we had nothing else to do,

Depression was hard to deal with

Back then we didn’t know it though

Stealing from stores and chilling in places away from parents

It wasn’t paradise but with them it felt like Paris

Growing up in this small town, we never had field trips

So what we did together was enjoyment that we never had.

His mother betrayed him

He never spoke about his dad

Everyone thought he was just bad

But I seen pain in his eyes

I wish I did more,

It’s crazy how fast time flies

Blamed a victim of the system for his way of life

I tried to help him out but I was just getting in the way of his life

I let my trauma change my perspective

Traumatized from being robbed, struggled with trust

So to heal was a must

OR maybe it was my intuition that I finally trusted

I don’t want to think about it cause it’s pointless now

Had faith that you could grow up and live your whole life out

I knew the streets was fucked up but didn’t know just how

Really gotta make it out, just don’t know how

My best friend lost her mother

So she was living with her father and brother,

No woman around to guide her through this life

Taking the wrong advice from her emotions and her mind

Lost girl, looking for love where it doesn’t live

And what she’s doing for love

Will probably never give,

A tragic story, I’m still wishing the best

Cause I really love her man even if Im not the best at showing it.

Then my other girl had a two parent household

She was insecure

I hope it didn’t come out of her household,

you never know what people go through at home, for some odd reason I never picked up the phone when she called.

I was too hurt by dealing with her when she was bitter

, a bit of a bully

Yet I still hung with her

I guess we never really got along

Hung out for years

but still don’t know who she really is

Maybe i was self absorbed

Too focused on myself

Yet didn’t know what I was doing

Felt victimized and hurt

And the world didn’t understand

Just a kid Screaming out for any helping hand

Made me vulnerable to evil lurking at every bend

Crying every night had no energy for others

Payed no attention

I wasn’t the only one struggling.

Some nights I wonder who I’ve let down

So many people depended on me

Yet I backed down

Thought I wasn’t strong enough to hold the whole crowd

Felt like everyone wanted something from me

Yet I felt silenced when I wanted something for me

Home life was fucked up and stressful,

Bad situations that I couldn’t escape

I was just a kid with a lot on my plate

Didn’t know how to deal so I stayed up late

Thinking bout what I’d do when I left here

Maybe move to another town

Felt like I kept messing up in my childhood

Disappointing the family so many times never felt good

Too different from the crowd

Felt like an embarrassment

Changed myself a lot just to stop the harassment

Now I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to who I was

So much of me trapped in the closet

Still afraid to show myself…

(Unfinished, unedited, just raw thoughts)

#diary entry #journaling #journal #journey #frienship #original poem #poem #poemsociety #long poem