#seventeen seokmin fluff

[strawberryya]

love to keep me warm

seokmin x reader

synopsis: The holiday season is approaching, and you and your boyfriend decide to spend Christmas together for the first time since you began seeing each other. Trees must be chosen, sweets must be made, and gifts must be wrapped and placed just in time for the day. And nothing makes it better than doing it together with Seokmin.

currently playing: love to keep me warm - laufey, dodie

word count: 5.2k

genre/contains: fluff, comfort, moments of love, long-term boyfriend!seokmin, gn!reader, mentions of food, cats, overload of cute shit and sickeningly in love people, physical affection (kisses, cuddles), domestic things, Christmas gifts

a/n: merry Christmas guys! this is a part of the snowventeen collab that @svthub is doing this year and you can find the masterlist for all the wonderful December and holiday-themed fics here! have a happy holiday this weekend!!

.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・.

The first snow always reminded you of those first months with Seokmin; the excitement, the nervousness, and all the firsts you had together during that first season you spent together. It had been two years since then, and by now all those first seemed to already have happened for you two. 

All but this, you realized, this was the first time you two would be spending Christmas together. 

Instead of going home to visit family in your childhood homes, you would be spending it in the city, together. It would also be the very first Christmas you two would be celebrating in your new place which you had only moved in together earlier this year. 

Now you were standing in the street, looking up at the streetlight and watching the tiny crystalized flakes floating down towards the ground where they quickly disappeared into the dark asphalt. 

“This is fucking incredible,” you said, flabbergasted at your own timing. 

“I think this might be a sign,” Seokmin responded, making you look at him with a questioning expression, “it’s the universe telling us that we will find the perfect tree for sure,” he explained with a decisive and assuring voice without even seeing your face. 

You couldn’t help but laugh at this, but perhaps he was right. Just as you had begun walking towards the plaza where they had begun selling trees for the holidays, the very first snow had appeared from thin air, shocking you both and apparently giving your boyfriend enough reason to think that the universe was on your side on your Christmas tree hunt this cold December evening. 

“I hope you’re right, I really want us to get the most perfect tree for our first Christmas together!” you cheerfully exclaimed into the night air. 

“Well, if that’s what you want, that is what you must get my love,” he said with a warm smile as he pulled you close to his side and continued to stride towards the tree market with renewed purpose. You giggled at his behavior but followed along without protest. 

Two years, and he was still trying his very best to give you everything you wanted. If you asked, you were sure he would try and give you the world, wrapped up in a shiny little box with a pretty bow on top as he stared into your eyes as if you were the only world he needed in his life. 

You were smiling to yourself as you walked towards your destination while admiring the snowfall that had begun laying a thin, sheer layer across the dark roads and sidewalks where you were promenading arm in arm with your boyfriend when he interrupted your daydreaming. 

“So what exactly is it that we’re looking for when it comes to the perfect tree? Do we have a checklist?” 

“Not a checklist per se… however, I do have some thoughts,” you began, and from the way Seokmin was nodding you understood that he was eager to hear these thoughts of yours. “First of all, I want it to smell good of course, but more importantly, I need one that won’t litter our floors with tiny needles these next couple of months,” you said, cringing from the pure pain of imagining stepping on those little pointy things. This is not even to mention having to vacuum the space literally every two seconds since the cats would most definitely be doing everything but leaving the tree alone and in peace. 

It seemed like Seokmin had fully realized the pain in the ass one of those trees would be and quickly agreed with your requirements. By now you had reached the market, and you were standing at the far end of a huge parking lot, remarkably lacking in the car department and instead filled to the brim with what looked to be a giant forest that had sprouted overnight. 

“That definitely sounds preferable. Let’s go with one of those… now which one is that?” he asked and looked around at the hundreds of trees standing leaned against fences and tied up with ropes in lines up and down the aisles. You couldn’t help but laugh at his dumbfounded expression, but honestly, you were feeling a tad overwhelmed by the sheer number of trees you had to select yours from. 

“If I remember correctly from my googling I would say we should look at Fraser fir or Caanan fir, but also the classics like Balsam fir and Grand fir, and then we can see which one we can find a pretty one of,” you rambled, Seokmin nodding his head as if he knew precisely what you were talking about (he did not).

“I can’t really see if there are sections for the specific ones yet, so what do you think about just wandering until we see one that looks good, and then we ask what it is?” Seokmin suggested, which you agreed to very quickly since you didn’t really feel like asking for help right away. Especially since the small snowflakes had begun falling on top of the dark green needles covering the area surrounding you. 

It was so beautiful, you felt as if you had wandered down some sort of magical winter wonderland while you analyzed the potential of each of the trees. 

You walked down the rows of leaning trees, asking Seokmin to lift one up every now and then to get a better look at the tree when it stood up properly, and catching it when it inevitably (and of course accidentally) was dropped by your boyfriend, then followed by giggles from you and his flustered self apologizing and explaining how he once again just lost his grip on the prickly tree for a second and that he was sorry you were now covered in tiny needles. 

Nevertheless, none of the trees, not even the ones that literally crashed into you, turned out to be THE tree you were searching for. 

At least that was until Seokmin stopped right in his tracks, your body shifting a bit along with him as the forward motion you had going was now being pulled back to instead come to a sudden halt by the arm connected to the boyfriend who had just decided to stop. However, before you could ask why the hell he had stopped without warning you saw what he was staring at, his face concentrated and his eyes squinting as if to decide if he was seeing it right. 

“Oh… you’re a genius,” you breathed out as you looked at the majestic tree in front of you. 

He stopped squinting as you said this, instead he looked over at you and chuckled briefly at the look of wonder on your face. The simple fact that a tree could make you so happy gave him a feeling of something great. It was a sensation that he couldn’t place right away, but it was love he soon realized. Not the kind he had felt during that first winter you had spent together, when everything was new and exciting in a puppy-love kind of way. No, this love was all-consuming and so so sweet, and most of all comforting. It felt so safe that he wanted to freeze this moment and revel in this feeling; the feeling that you were what all those people had talked about when they said that home isn’t a place - it’s a person. 

You felt like home, he thought, and felt it in his every cell. 

Right as you proclaimed “This is the one,” Seokmin quickly pecked your soft cheek as the smile on his lips grew even wider along with your sudden decisiveness to pick up the giant tree and bring it home with you. 

.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・.

This was of course easier said than done, but in the end, you both made it home with both the tree and yourselves intact (for the most part). 

“Holy shit, I had no idea getting a tree inside and up all those stairs would be that harddd,” you whined as you finally plopped yourself down onto the couch after having managed to put the tree in its foot. 

After just a little while to rest you got up, sprinting towards the cabin where you store all the decorations. You looked over at Seokmin who was an exhausted mess on the couch you had just gotten up from and nodded while looking straight into his eyes. In response his own gaze hardened a bit, noticeably bearing the meaning of him understanding the seriousness of the moment. 

“Let’s do this.” he said with a determined tone and you pulled out the multiple boxes you had both managed to collect from both family and from years of living by yourselves. It was time to decorate the house and the tree, and it would get done tonight! 

At least that was what you both intended for when you had begun. 

However, as most things you two do together, the hanging of the lights and stars in the windows, the colorful bulbs in the Christmas tree, and the many many elves and Santas that needed to be placed out in every nook and cranny, soon turned into a much slower affair. 

At this point the stars had been hung, a couple of Santas had been placed in their new homes for the season and it had somehow already been hours. You had decided that a late dinner would be eaten once you had finished the tree, and then you would get the rest done tomorrow since every step was taking at least double the time you had calculated. 

Now, you might wonder: why were things taking so damn long?? And well the only answer either of you could come up with was that it was simply impossible to make your new home into a Christmassy home without taking your time with every step. Every Santa and elf needed a name and a personalized home, which of course took its own little time to figure out, and then the fact that neither of you were experts on how to hang lights took a little extra time even though it was definitely quicker than housing and naming the tiny figurines. However, the thing that took up most of your time in the end, was the neverending talking. Somehow you still hadn’t run out of things to talk about after all this time spent together, which you found astounding if you were honest. 

“I kinda miss having my own chocolate calendar this year,” you said when Seokmin asked if you were missing anything Christmas related this year. 

This made him chuckle, “Why don’t we go get you one tomorrow then? I think that one is worth keeping alive.” 

“Yeah? I’d love that,” you smiled as you hung yet another red bulb on one of the branches in front of you, “Which traditions do you wanna have for us?” 

“Maybe making a gingerbread house and then eating it whenever my parents weren’t looking?” he answered, making you laugh at the thought of a teeny little mischievous Seokmin trying to break off a tiny piece of the house and running away as soon as he got it. 

“Cute,” you laughed, “definitely worth keeping too, would you be eating one we made in secret too?”

“Well, of course, it’s half the fun isn't it.” 

You shook your head, but it was impossible to put a stop to the laughter bubbling up as you thought about grown-up Seokmin copying little Seokmin as they ran away with big eyes that looked ever so scared to get caught. 

The tree continued being dressed, the decor filling most branches with sparkles or different shades of red and gold. In the meantime, the conversation ended up touching on all kinds of traditions you both had had in your childhoods. Like powdered sugar and vinegar bookmark decor for the tree, oranges pricked with clove and hung with a shiny red ribbon in the kitchen, and the endless baking that used to be done in your childhood homes around this time.

Of course, the kittens decide it was absolutely necessary to help out, or well, to play around with strands of tinsel that was now in places of your apartment that you wouldn’t look in until way into next year. A surprise gift if you may say so. 

.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・.

Cookies of all shapes and sizes had been made and you were in a Christmassy and cozy mood on this fine baking day. The jazz playing in the back was flowing through your body as you wiggled your body, arms close to your chest as you shook your bum in slow side-to-side motions in beat with the jazzy holiday music. 

From behind you a chuckle was heard, making you turn around, never stopping your little dance for a moment, the action inviting Seokmin who had spotted your moment to join you in your dancing. 

He walked up to you, reaching forward his hand while bowing slightly. 

“May I have this dance?” he asked in a deep genteel voice which made you choke back a laugh that was threatening to burst out. 

“Oh, what a gentleman you are this evening,” you joked, and let your hand fall into his. 

He carefully and rather sensually took the hand you had placed in his hand and repositioned it carefully on top of his shoulder, leaving it there as he led your other hand to meet the first one behind his neck. You let your fingers slide through his soft locks as he pulled you in by the waist, both hands placed carefully around you. He was so warm and comforting you thought, loving the way he held you safe in his arms as you swayed together to the music playing throughout the kitchen. 

As the music had a drop he spun you around, making the warm light all around you blur, creating a magical aura just behind Seokmin who looked even lovelier than usual with a warm smile on his beautiful face and messy flour on his cheek. 

You laughed at the feeling of being spun and as you came back to being held in his arms you gave him a peck before you let his neck go in order to reach for one of the trays of newly baked cookies you had been waiting to eat until they wouldn’t burn your mouth completely. 

Soon Seokmin began cutting out tiny gingerbread shapes on the counter yet again, meanwhile, you were placed a bit away from him, nibbling on pieces of dough you had managed to steal away from him as well as cookies you had pulled out of the oven minutes before. Your position gave you the perfect angle to look at your pretty boyfriend concentrating on the shapes in the dough in his red Christmas apron you had gotten him last year, as well as a pretty view of the dark sky just outside your window. 

The snow falling outside once again reminded you of those first months of your relationship. Everything was really so different now, not in a bad way, but the fireworks had somehow faded into this safe bonfire relationship. It kept you both warm and cozy but you couldn’t help but wonder if he felt like something was lacking. 

“Do you ever miss it?” you asked, not stopping the impulse to find out if he had been thinking about the same thing as you. 

“Miss what?”

“Miss how it used to be. With us.” you tried to further explain. 

“If I miss how we used to be?”

“Mhm,” you nodded. 

“I mean, I’ve been thinking about how it’s different now, but I don’t know. I don’t think I would say I miss it.”

“What would you say then?”

“I would say that you’ve become my person, my… home,” he said and looked up from the tiny tree shapes in the dough. 

You giggled a bit, trying to hide just how flustered you became after hearing him call you his home. “You’re my home too now,” you said peeking out from behind your hands that you had put up as a fort in front of you. 

“Why are you asking this though? Do you miss it?” he asked as he placed the final gingerbread figure on one of the sheets and picked up another ball of dough to get started with. 

“I don’t really know, I think I’ve been reminiscing about it since we met around this time, you know? And for some reason I just kinda… I don’t know, I just wanted to know how you saw it,” you said and shrugged as you smiled a small smile. 

“I get it, I have been thinking about back then too, but honestly I think were both better now. Yeah, we’re not the same people as back then and of course, we’re not the newly in love people we were back then… but we have grown, and so has our relationship.” 

You nodded, listening intently to what he was saying, feeling a type of relief settling over your restless mind. 

“Just so you know,” you said with a wide smile on your face, “I think I love you even more now than then, I think my feelings grew or something.” 

“I can’t lie, I think mine did too because every day I seem to find another thing about you to love,” his entire face shone as he spoke and it touched you more than you were prepared for, “it’s mindblowing honestly.” 

You nodded again, smiling as he rolled out the dough in his hands and glanced up at you where you sat, no longer nibbling away at the dough in your hands, holding back the tears threatening to fall down your cheeks. 

He was right you realized, it wasn’t that you missed the excitement of feeling the fireworks as much as it was just knowing that you had changed, knowing things would never be that way again. But it was okay, things change, and in this case, you knew deep down that it had in fact changed to something even better. You had finished wandering the streets under the open sky with fireworks exploding and the cold making you shiver, now you were home. 

You shook your head, enough sappiness, for now, you thought as you rose and grabbed the spoon in the empty bowl that was once filled with melted chocolate for the cookies. You licked the spoon, removing the leftover chocolate from the metal surface of the utensil before you put it down in the sink. When you turned around, however, you were met with a shocked look on Seokmin’s face, an expression that soon turned into unstoppable laughter making you panic for just a second before you realized that you must have gotten some of the melted chocolate on your face. 

You scowled at him for laughing at you when you didn’t know why. However, there was no way you would let him have all the fun on your behalf!

So in retaliation, you puckered your chocolaty lips at him, letting him know that you would be messing up his pretty face if you got your way. Before you got the chance though, your forehead was met with a large hand pushing you back and holding you in place. He was just out of reach and you pouted just a bit before you tried yet again. 

“C’mon! Let me kiss you! I need my revenge!!!” you shouted as you continued trying to get away from the hand that was creating an impenetrable wall between you and your target. 

Just as you were in the middle of another escape attempt the wall suddenly disappeared and Seokmin’s laughter subsided into a small smirk decorating his gorgeous face. 

“Fine, do it,” he smirked and pulled you in close to him, the sudden shift had your heart palpitating in your chest. 

“Thank you,” you said and smooched his cheek, leaving chocolate traces all over. 

Seokmin looked down at you with the same goofy smirk he had had before you kissed him, “Happy now?” he said and you looked at him with a faux angry look on your face as you fought your own emotions so as to not let your smile bubble up and show on your face. However, that was a battle you were destined to lose against yourself and you cracked within seconds. 

He gave you a quick peck before he unwrapped his arms from around you and went to fetch a damp paper towel to clean the mess off of your face as well as his own. You couldn’t help but sigh deeply as you watched him move around the kitchen. I kinda hate you for making me this happy, you thought as you smiled to yourself. It was really not fair how he could make your heart flutter still after all this time - so rude. 

.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・.

In the few days right before Christmas, you were both busy trying to sneak all those hidden gifts out of their hiding places and wrap them. However, there were surprisingly few moments where either of you could manage to find the time to secretly wrap your gifts. One might expect it to get easier when you’re just two in a household, but for the two of you it turned out to be one of the hardest things you had ever had to do. 

Somehow you both managed to walk in on the other as they tried to wrap their things, resulting in panicked shouting as Seokmin was entering your bedroom after coming home just a bit early from work one evening. Alas, conversations such as “NO! Don’t come in!!” “What why? Is something wrong?? Are you okay?” “Yeah! I’m just wrapping stuff, so go away!!!” followed by muffled laughing from Seokmin on the other side of the door as he went back into the living room with a “Put a damn sock on the door next time honey!” Which of course led to you scowling at him through the closed door. 

Another time you had rushed into your bedroom after one of the cats who had kidnapped one of the Santas as he had decided it was now his and his only and he would take it. So just as you ran through the doorway you saw the blurred figure of Seokmin appearing before you, the cat quickly disappearing from your view. He threw himself directly at you, kissing you breathlessly as he backed you out of the room, effectively closing your eyes as you melted into the kiss and simultaneously keeping his gifts secret from you. 

His techniques were surprisingly good as he managed to act on the spot every time, coming up with a new way to hide his secret little presents. They did end up with him kissing you most of the time, but… well okay maybe he only had that one way to get you to not look. However, it did work each and every time. 

.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・.

Christmas eve, it was finally here, and you had spent the day in Christmas-themed pajamas under your covers with Seokmin. The food had been ordered in and the cookies you had baked were being eaten with gusto as you watched your fourth or fifth movie of the day (they were blending together at this point). 

On top of your both, the cats were cuddling together identically to their parents underneath the fluffy covers. The entire day had actually turned out perfectly, which seems like something that should be impossible when it comes to big holidays, but it really had been just perfect. The apartment felt so Christmassy and the food had been incredible, and since you had ordered it in there weren’t even any dishes which might’ve made the day a tad bit less perfect. 

The happy ending of the movie was just coming to an end, the scene ending with the kiss under the mistletoe and the camera panning away to the carollers in the snow singing about basically exactly what had been happening in the movie as the credits began rolling. 

“Should we do Home Alone next? I’m in the mood for some violence now,” you asked, receiving confirming nods from Seokmin who had a cookie currently halfway in his mouth. 

But as you bent over to pick up the remote from the table in front of you, you caught a glimpse of the clock in the kitchen. “Oh my god? I didn’t realize it was this late,” you said with a gasp. 

“You haven’t even gotten your gift yet!” you exclaimed and rose from your position, detangling yourself a bit from Seokmin, minding the cats so as to not disturb their Christmas-peace. “Wanna do gifts now?” 

“Yeah, let’s do it!” Seokmin agreed, still trying to finish his cookie. 

The both of you ran away to your separate secret hiding spots and returned within seconds, the wind chasing after you as you ran in excitement. Once you were both situated back in your spots, and the cats had begun placing themselves back in their own spots as well, you held out your gifts for him to take. He squished the package, a pensive expression taking form on his face as he tried to think about what it could possibly be. 

“Do the little one first, I think that would be best!” you advised, finding it hard to keep your excitement inside as he began unwrapping the paper. 

Seokmin pulled out a pair of beautiful wool socks from the shiny wrapping, his smile growing as he looked at them. “These are perfect! Thank you gorgeous,” he said and gave you a peck before he gestured towards you that it was your turn to open the packages he had placed in between you for you to grab. 

You picked up the small, hard, and rather heavy package which surprised you at first. However, as you began pulling off the wrapping a lovely scent began spreading from the present. The candle you pulled out from its hiding spot was huge and red, and the fragrance of cinnamon apple with a hint of firewood made your heart and brain melt with cozy feelings. 

“Oh my god, it smells so good!!” you exclaimed, shoving your nose into the candle yet another time. 

“I hoped you would like that one, it felt so Christmassy you know,” he said with a huge grin on his face as you had your eyes closed in an effort to try and become one with the candle in your hands. 

“I love it, now, your turn!” 

“Alright, really hope we didn’t get the same thing,” he said, glancing over at the package you had yet to open which was roughly the same size and looked to be just as soft as the one he was holding. 

“I doubt it, but you never know,” you snickered, excited to see how he would react to your gift. 

It didn’t take long before the wrapping had been ripped off along with the ribbon, which to the cats’ pleasure was now available to steal and play with on the floor beside the couch. Left in his hands was a soft pile of fabric; a quilt he soon understood. The pattern, intricate and beautiful, completely covering the large blanket. 

Seokmin was stunned just by how pretty it looked, but you spoke up, telling him to check the little leather patch in the corner of the quilt. As he read the words written on the patch his gaze became even softer than earlier, and as he looked up at you he said out loud “Love to keep me warm…” 

You giggled, yet again a bit flustered from his unfiltered emotions being shown so obviously on his face, no matter what was happening, “What I mean is that I never really feel the cold, because you know, I have your love to keep me warm,” you began, emotions making your throat a bit thicker than usual as you tried to finish your explanation, “and so, I was thinking that now you will hopefully always be warm too with the help of this… and that it will remind you of how much I love you too.”

The tears felt like they would fall any second now, and then Seokmin pulled your entire body towards him, embracing you so tightly you could feel and hear how loud his heartbeat was inside of him. He kissed the top of your head and whispered “I love you too, thank you,” into your hair. You smiled widely as you buried your head in his warm embrace, letting a couple of tears escape from your eyes and ladning on the soft fabric of his shirt. 

For a couple of minutes, you both just stayed like that, swaying slightly, kissing each other whenever you looked up and his hands stroking your back softly as you talked about how pretty the fabric of the quilt is. 

“Wanna open your last gift?” Seokmin asked, “I mean, I don’t think it will be anywhere near as good as this one but maybe you will like it anyways.”  

“I will love it, I’m sure,” you told him, which you within the coming minute would have to regret saying if you were honest. Because what you found inside the shiny wrapping was four sweaters and not just any sweaters, but matching sweaters; matching ugly Christmas sweaters you realized as you stared at the one you were holding up in front of your incredibly shocked face. 

“They’re… really cute,” you said, baffled by how ugly these particular ones actually were. However, when you picked up the tiny ones, realizing that they were indeed ugly Christmas sweaters made for cats you couldn’t hold in your giddy laughter anymore. Seokmin looked so proud of his gift, and you knew that he did really think they were cute and you knew you would never have the heart to tell him otherwise so you didn’t. Instead, you looked over at him with a pout on your face, “They’re absolutely perfect baby, I love them. And you even got the cats their own, that’s so cute!”

This made Seokmin smile like a very cute fool, “Yeah? I wasn’t sure but they had it in so many sizes and I thought it could be cute,” he rambled on about the sweaters and you looked yet again at the one in your hand. Maybe they aren’t actually so bad, you thought, loving the way he had thought about you and the cats when he got them. Even if they weren’t cute in and of themselves, at least he was cute enough to make them a great Christmas gift anyways. 

Putting them on the cats turned out a lot more difficult than either of you had imagined, but to your surprise, they were unexpectedly comfortable. With yet another kiss you enveloped his pretty lips with yours, saying thank you yet again before you snuggled into the soft fabric of your Christmas gift in Seokmin’s arms, the cats settling in their spots on top of the covers yet again. It really had been a perfect holiday season this year, and for this and many more reasons you felt yourself getting excited about next year’s festivities already. 

.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・.

[navigation post!]

#seokmin #seventeen #snowventeen #svthub.collab #svthub #fluff #dk #lee seokmin #dokyeom #lee dokyeom #svt #dk svt #seokmin seventeen #dk seventeen #dk fluff #seokmin fluff #seventeen seokmin fluff #seventeen dk fluff #dokyeom fluff #svt x gn reader #dk x gn reader #seokmin x gn reader #svt x reader #dk x reader #seokmin x you #seokmin christmas

[slytherinshua]

Hiii Could I please request #1 and #18 from fluff and #29 from action for Dk of Seventeen please? <33

Tipsy Love

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ genre and tags: fluff. dk is very drunk. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ warnings: alcohol mention & kisses. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ pairing: dk x reader. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ wc: 681. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ a/n: tysm for requesting!! i hope you enjoy ❤️❤️

Did your boyfriend handle alcohol well? No. Did you two decide to go out for drinks anyway? Obviously. 

It was a boring Friday evening, and both your schedules were free. You hadn’t had some fun in a while, and what better way to spend it than with drinks and food? You had to admit it was your suggestion, but Seokmin was on board with the idea immediately.

And you happened to stumble across some friends at the bar. One thing turned to another, and you ended up playing a drinking game with them. 

Bad idea.

They had said goodbye about 2 minutes ago, and you were now left with a very… very drunk Seokmin. In fact, you had never seen him this drunk before. Under the influence of alcohol, your boyfriend had forgotten he was your boyfriend. As in, he forgot he already won you over, and that you had been dating for 4 years.

“You’re so pretty.”

You just smiled at him, nodding and trying to pay for the bill so you could get back home.

“I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.” Seokmin giggled, trying his best to flirt with you and coming out with the cheesiest pickup lines you had ever heard.

“I think that might be our sign to go home.” You told him, shuffling through your purse to find your wallet. 

Your boyfriend rested his head on your shoulder, mouth right by your ear before whispering, “Did you just come out of the oven? Because… you’re hot.” Your eyes widened and you were embarrassed that he managed to make you blush from a pickup line like that. The only person that had that kind of power over you was Lee Seokmin.

“Hey, let’s get going.” You took his hand and led him out of the bar, hailing a cab on the street quickly. He just followed you like a lost puppy, and you had to admit that he was adorable drunk. But you did hope he sobered up soon. You didn’t know how much more of his drunk pickup lines you could take.

Once you made it back home, you stumbled through the door, carrying almost all his body weight as his arm was thrown over your shoulder. You led him to the couch, making sure he landed on it without hurting himself. He had quieted down a bit from in the car, so you were hoping he was starting to think clearer.

You were going to go get some water for both of you to drink, but Seokmin refused to let go of your wrist. “Don’t go.” He pouted, and you had no willpower left in you to resist him. You joined him on the couch, letting him snuggle up to you with a giggle.

“You’re still so drunk.” You said softly, combing a hand through his hair.

“Can we just stay like this?” He mumbled. You nodded, sighing comfortably. It was nice to have him this close - you didn’t cuddle as often as you wanted to.

“Can I…?” He whispered after a while, lifting up his head that was resting on your shoulder so that he could look at you. His eyes were conveying what he wanted more than his words were. 

“You don’t have to ask, baby.” You cupped his cheek, kissing him softly. You stayed like that for a while, curled up together and your lips meeting every-so-often. Even when one kiss ended, another one would follow in close succession.

“We should go to bed.” You murmured, attempting to move your leg and get off the couch, but your boyfriend had other plans.

“Don’t leave! You’re warm…” You stopped, wondering how much more of your boyfriend being this endearing you could take. Drunk Seokmin was completely different from sober Seokmin. He was extra clingy in the cutest way.

“You’re very convincing.” You kissed his cheek, getting back into a comfortable position again, and accepting the fact that you wouldn’t be getting up again. If your back was complaining tomorrow morning from sleeping on the couch, it was your boyfriend’s fault.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-bluehair,, @syrxiee2,, @ddenoudepression

#﹒fics 𓈃 ⵌ #﹒events 𓈃 ⵌ #dokyeom #seokmin #dk #lee seokmin #seventeen #svt #svt dk #svt dokyeom #svt seokmin #svt lee seokmin #seventeen dk #seventeen dokyeom #seventeen seokmin #seventeen lee seokmin #dk fluff #dokyeom fluff #seokmin fluff #lee seokmin fluff #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #svt dk fluff #seventeen dk fluff #svt dokyeom fluff #seventeen dokyeom fluff #svt seokmin fluff #seventeen seokmin fluff #dk fic #dokyeom fic

[jaemified]

keep it quiet - choi seungcheol

“you gotta keep it quiet for me baby”

pairing ; bf!seungcheol x fem!reader

genre ; smut (MDNI), porn w minimal plot, fluff towards the end, est relationship, secret relationship

warnings ; swearing, soft dom cheol, pillow princess reader, unprotected sex (pls keep it safe</3), soft sex, groping, sucking, praise kink (f and m), begging, fingering, sorta manhandling, marking, mention of seokmin jerking off and pictures being taken

wordcount ; 2.1k

synopsis ; you and seungcheol never liked taking risks, especially with 8 of his 12 roommates home. but, up until your self control couldn’t handle it anymore, you both found it was best to keep it quiet.

read below the cut !

despite being together for a year now, neither yours or seungcheols friends knew. though, you both would post a little corny caption on social media hinting towards one another, none of your friends were able to connect the dots.

except miyeon or seungkwan, they had their suspicions at times but you were still able to keep them from knowing.

cheol had always liked things private, finding it best to keep what’s closest to him, closest to him. you were the same way, and you weren’t sure what or how your friends would act, so for the sake of your own anxiety you both decided to keep your relationship secret.

so, you were celebrating your one year anniversary. it was big for the two of you, yet you still kept the celebration to a minimum.

seungcheol had taken you to your favorite restaurant, then a small ice cream parlor before heading to the park to talk and enjoy one another.

that was, until he realized his roommates all were busy for the day and thought it would be a good idea to take you home with him.

of course, you had been there before with your friends seeing as your circle was intersecting with one another, but you had never been there by yourself, not wanting to take the risk.

but cheol wanted to take advantage of this, with all 12 of his roommates busy for the whole day, you could do whatever you wanted and he’d have you home by the time they came back.

or so he thought.

you were under seungcheol, his hand clamped tightly over your mouth to suppress your moans as he slowly but deeply thrusted into you.

the way you looked up at him with those hazy eyes had him over the moon, he knew he hit the jackpot when he fell for you.

the way you clenched around him so tightly had him releasing even the slightest low whimpers.

he removed his hand from your mouth to support himself up to thrust into you at a better angle.

seungcheol pushed one of your legs up to your chest and reveled in how good you felt, sucking on his tip as he plunged back into you deeply with a small groan.

neither of you expected for soonyoung, chan, joshua, mingyu, wonwoo, jeonghan, jun, and especially not jihoon to come home all at the same time.

with the 8 of them scattered around the dorm, you did your best to bite back any sounds but cheol was fucking into you too good it was hard not to have any reaction.

your eyes rolled back as you let out an almost too loud mewl while he hit that one spot that had you arching your back.

he immediately jolted at the sound that left your throat, it was too pretty, but only for him to hear.

seungcheol slowed down his pace and released your leg, not letting your high slip away while still going slow enough for you not to make any noise.

you reached down to rub your clit as you groaned at the loss of friction before he softly slapped your hand.

“no touching.”

“i cant! its not enough!” you cried out as you felt cheol slip his cock out, and replace it with his fingers.

he slowly pushed two of his fingers into you, letting out a shaky breath at how tightly you sucked him in despite all the foreplay earlier.

“were my fingers not enough for you earlier? god. you’re as tight as a virgin.” he groaned as he watched how your slick coated his fingers. “you’re absolutely dripping for me.” he scoffed.

“only for you,” you whimpered. “need your cock, please.” you begged, digging your nails into his bicep.

“you gotta keep it quiet for me baby. you don’t want them finding out, do you?”

you let out a choked sob as he began to pick up the pace, the sound of his fingers moving against your wetness being the only audible thing in the room.

seungcheol leaned his head down to wrap his lips around your hardened nipple, swirling his tongue around it before taking your whole tit into his mouth as he massaged the inside of your walls.

“fuck. so good cheol. feel so good..”

“yeah?”

he began to relentlessly finger fuck you, biting his lip at the little sounds that escaped your lips as you did the best you could to be quiet.

“you gonna be a good girl for me?”

“ill be a good girl. yours! just, need you in me. please.” you whimpered before throwing your head back into the cotton pillow as cheol mercilessly hit your soft spot.

you clenched around nothing in sensitivity before he had slipped his dick back into you slowly, never missing the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head in pleasure.

he began to slowly thrust into you again, almost a little too hard though as the headboard of the bed began to tap against the wall, almost too risky as jeonghans room was on the other side.

he didnt want to end up like seokmin, who they found jerking off after some wet dream in his room. they had barged in before taking some pictures and leaving.

privacy really was non existent in this household. good thing seungcheol made sure the door was locked out of paranoia.

“c-cheol. the wall.” you managed to get out.

he said nothing, but flipped you over so his back was pressed against the mattress and you were sitting on top of him.

you began to move your hips against his, grinding deep onto his cock before it got too much for you after such a short amount of time.

cheol always knew you were a pillow princess at heart.

he pulled you down so you could rest on his chest while he moved his hips up into you slowly.

seungcheol pressed a kiss on top of your head as you tried your best to meet his thrusts.

you sat up, propping yourself up by having your hands flat against his chest.

you both knew you wouldn’t be able to finish off if you did all the work, so you continued to meet him half way, moving your hips down as he thrusted up into you.

seungcheol moved back up to rest his head up a bit so he was slightly upright, sticking his tongue out to suck on your tit again, using one hand to fondle and grope at the one getting lesser attention, while using his other hand to tightly grip at your waist.

you looked down at him, a suppressed moan escaping your lips as you relished in the sight beneath you. your beautiful boyfriend under you, looking up into your eyes with the utmost attractive gaze while he licked and sucked at your chest.

“fuck. you’re so pretty under me. make me feel so good cheol. so so good.” you managed to whisper, the pleasure getting to your head as you felt the band in your stomach ready to snap at any moment.

“y/n. ‘m close.” he mumbled as he moved to leave marks up on your neck.

“inside.”

his eyes widened in surprise, “are you sure?”

“please cheol.” you sighed with a shaken up voice that came out more as an elongated moan.

that was all it took for him to go over the edge, his warm seed being released into you, coming out in thick white ropes.

he enveloped your lips into a soft kiss before letting out a twisted grin, or whatever that was as he was still pussy drunk via post orgasm. your eyebrows raised as you knew that stupid look on his face meant he was up to no good.

seungcheol pulled out of you, ignoring how his cum leaked out of your sopping wet hole, before grabbing your waist tightly and flipping you over so you were on your back once more, before he slipped back into you so he was sure to drive you over the edge without making any noise, deep and slow, yet fast enough so you could feel your high approaching.

“c-cheol. im close. so close.” you whined.

he moved a hand down to rub at your clit with the pad of his thumb aggressively, as you let out an exasperated sigh.

“so good for me, pretty girl. youre my baby arent you? my pretty baby.” he cooed softly as he felt you release all over him, thrusting into you slowly to ride out your high.

“such a good girl. cheols good girl. there you go. let cheol take care of you hmm?” he hummed, pressing his lips together into a smile.

you whimpered at the empty feeling of nothing as he pulled out to lie down next to you, pulling you into a hug as you kissed his cheek.

“hold on.” he told you as he heard his phone buzz.

broz b4 hoezzz🥶🥶😴💤

9 online • 4 inactive

lee chanz ; yo we just left home so if yall want anything pay up and place your order nd we’ll get it @/wooziz @/vernonz @/coupz @/myunghoez @/kyeommiez @/kwanniez

kwanniez ; i thought @/wooziz was with u

gyuz ; he left to the studio

wooziz ; i want fried chicken

vernonz ; me and seokmin will share tteokbokki

kwanniez ; chinese food for me and @/myunghoez thx

hanniez ; @/coupz ? you want anything or not unless u jus want the leftovers, we can drop it off to your office

gyuz ; @/coupz ??

cheol smirked as he showed you the chat room displayed on his phone, not even realizing they had all left earlier. “one more round?”

#kpop imagines #fanfic #seungcheol smut #svt x reader #svt smut #seventeen smut #scoups smut #seventeen #seungcheol imagines #svt fanfic #scoups fluff #svt seungcheol #seungcheol fluff #seokmin smut #dokyeom smut #svt imagines #choi seungcheol #svt fluff #jaemified

[gyuslcve]

can i request “svt members when their S/O falls asleep on another members lap/shoulder”?☺️

how svt reacts when their s/o falls asleep on another member’s lap/shoulder

genre: head canons, fluff if u squint

rq: requested by anon!

not proofread

notes: this idea is so cliche (in a good way) and never fails to make me go <333 thank u anon for this rq xx i really enjoyed writing this

SVT MEMBERS WHEN YOU FALL ASLEEP ON ANOTHER MEMBER’S LAP/SHOULDER

choi seungcheol

✧ i think he’d be conflicted because he doesn’t wanna wake you up but he wants you to lie on him and only him

✧ ends up trying to move you from someone else’s lap to his without waking you up

✧ is very gentle with you, afraid of disturbing your sleep :(

yoon jeonghan

✧ wakes you up and apologises

✧ “sorry darling.. i’m here now, go back to sleep”

✧ you don’t notice it but he looks at you tenderly and smooths your hair

hong joshua

✧ same as cheol, he’d try to shift your head from someone else’s shoulder to his own

✧ once you’re settled on his shoulder he glances down at you every once in a while, making sure you’re sleeping safe and sound

✧ chuckles to himself at your sleeping state (he finds it t o o adorable)

wen junhui

✧ slightly ???? when he sees the situation

✧ doesn’t really mind tbh

✧ shushes the members bc he knows you’re easily woken up by noises

kwon soonyoung

✧ pouts and hopes no one notices (he’s jealous)

✧ wakes you up gently and shifts next to you so you can lie on him instead

✧ instantly wraps an arm around you in a protective manner once you’re by his side

jeon wonwoo

✧ heart melts when he sees you asleep

✧ doesn’t have time to be jealous, he just walks up to you and wakes you up,

✧ “hey baby.. let’s go home yeah? i know you’re tired”

✧ if you insist on staying he’d bring you to his lap so you at least rest comfortably

lee jihoon

✧ doesn’t notice at first - when he does he gets jealous

✧ he tries not to show it but it’s written all over his face

✧ doesn’t wake you up or anything, makes a mental note to talk to you about it when you get home

✧ not from the intention of possessiveness but he wants you to know he’s uncomfortable with it and assures you he will always, always be by your side whenever you need it

xu minghao

✧ almost jumps out of his seat from impulsiveness and then sits his ass back down because he tells himself “it’s not a big deal”

✧ probably would sit there and debate whether he should wake you up or not for at least five minutes

✧ it puts his mind at ease once the thought that you fell asleep on the other member’s shoulder accidentally crosses his mind

kim mingyu

✧ torn between being jealous and heart swelling with affection

✧ lots of thoughts go through his head (while pouting)

✧ what if she gets mad at me for waking her up? w-what if she doesn’t love me anymore ;-;

✧ please give assurance to this big baby

lee seokmin

✧ another ???? member

✧ doesn’t really do anything, first thing that crosses his mind is when you fell asleep the night before

✧ he’s honestly just worried that he’s staying too late and you’re not getting enough rest :/

✧ wakes you up while brushing your hair and asks if you wanna go home

boo seungkwan

✧ man would jokingly make a threatening face at whoever you’re lying on

✧ then proceeds shush everyone in the room

✧ would take off his hat and place it over your head so that it blocks out the brightness

vernon chwe

✧ bro is too busy vernon-ing to notice

✧ not that he’s not paying attention to you.. he’s just vernon yk

✧ only finds out when the member you’re lying on texts him “yo, come get your girl”

✧ chuckles and slowly manoeuvres you into his arms, excuses himself and you from the room and brings you back home <3

lee chan

✧ furrows his eyebrows

✧ somehow shoos the member away and adjusts you onto his lap instead

✧ forgets about whatever conversation he’s having and spends entire night placing occasional kisses on your forehead and holding your hand

author’s notes: thank you again anon for the rq!! i really enjoyed writing this <3

#gyuslcve.writes #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #wonwoo x reader #jeonghan x reader #jihoon x reader #joshua x reader #junhui x reader #lee chan x reader #minghao x reader #seokmin x reader #seungcheol x reader #vernon x reader #mingyu x reader #soonyoung x reader #seungkwan x reader #seventeen headcanons #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagine #seventeen drabbles #seventeen fanfic #svt x reader #svt imagine

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: clueless!seokmin, established relationship, afab reader, he's a lil airheaded but thats fine bc he's cute, reader is a lil pushy, smut, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 1690

a/n: tysm to the person who requested <33 i lovelovelove this concept so much its so fitting for seokmin

masterlist

you loved seokmin, you really did. but there was only so much you could take before you went crazy.

he was the perfect boyfriend, truly! he fulfilled every boyfriend duty to an exemplary extent, leaving no part of you dissatisfied. except, well, for one.

you'd only started dating recently. it had been one, no, two months - if you count the talking stage, that is - since seokmin had grown the balls to ask for your number, claiming he had fallen head over heels for you the moment your mutual friend jeonghan had introduced you at a gathering a few months back. at first it had been simple back and forth flirting through text (and occasionally face to face, whenever you'd both had enough drinks to look into each other's eyes without blushing). then it turned into an official proposition from seokmin, who showed up with flowers one day and sheepishly asked if you'd consider being official with him. you, not being an idiot, jumped into his arms with an enthusiastic yes. and that's how you ended up here, two months into the perfect relationship.

and also two months into a sexless relationship. yes, sex was not the most important part of a relationship. you could accept it if seokmin never put his hands on you in that way, loving and respecting him no matter what. except he constantly did. he was an overly excited man, who would consistently touch and caress you (always innocently, in seokmin fashion) in order to express his love. it was never explicitly sexual, but to you it felt borderline. plus, you knew for a fact that the feeling was mutual. you knew that seokmin wanted you in the way you did him. at least going off one of the drunken conversations you had with him at some random gathering during your talking stage. he had made clear the way he saw you (in words you were too flustered to repeat). except that was the last mention of it. he'd never mentioned his sexual desires to you since then. you knew seokmin was a very proper and respectful man, that he would never push you into an uncomfortable position, but you really wished he would just take a damn hint.

you'd tried everything by now, except you were subtle about it, not wanting to come off as desperate. you'd tried extending the quick pecks he gave you every time he said goodbye, but were always met with a sheepish chuckle as he pulled away and gave you a cheeky wink before you could even try to stick your tongue in his mouth. you'd run your hands up and down his chest any time he held you in his arms, but would be promptly stopped as soon as he started tickling you. you'd press your ass up against him as he held you in your sleep, but you'd be met with big arms flipping you over to face him, cocooning you in his embrace.

he'd never outwardly reject you, but he'd absolutely misinterpret your advancements for innocent requests for his affections. you weren't sure if the man was trying to send you a message, or if maybe he was just an idiot when it came to this. you also weren't sure how many more nights you'd be able to walk into your room after your nightly routine to find a very delicious-looking seokmin, arms bare as he laid in your bed waiting to hold you in his arms.

the answer was zero. you weren't sure exactly what had broken the camel's back for you. but tonight you had just gone insane with desire for him. you'd walked into the room, spotting seokmin as he laid on your bed, sleeveless shirt showing off his muscles as he laid one of them behind his head while the other held onto his phone. the position gave you a perfect view of his flexed muscles. you were dizzy just at the sight. it was no surprise to you when your body took control over you, leading you to his side of the bed as you snatched his phone and threw it to the side before straddling him, attacking him with a heavy kiss. this was the first time you'd been so forward, but there was only so much a girl could take.

seokmin's reaction was what you'd expect from any man with a pretty girl sitting atop his lap. he kissed you back just as eagerly, allowing you to let your tongue play with his. you made out for a bit before you allowed your hips to begin sensually canting against his. much to your surprise, his arms wrapped around you, holding onto your ass as he guided your thrusts.

his breathy moans against your mouth were driving you mad. you could tell he had felt just as deprived as you. he must've been trying to be a gentleman all this time, not wanting to pursue you sexually unless you were 100% explicit about you wanting him in the same way. for some reason this made you want to jump his bones even more. thinking about a pent up seokmin holding back from letting you ride him into oblivion due to his respectful demeanor made you wanna sit on his cock until he cried.

you finally pulled away from him, heavy breath as you looked down at him, "seokmin."

"what's wrong?', his breath was just as heavy as yours, "do-do you not want to, baby? it's okay, we don't have to. would never wanna for-"

"seokmin. if you don't let me sit on your dick, i swear to god."

he looked up at you with wide eyes, mouth still open from having been interrupted mid speech, "w-what?"

"minnie, i've been wanting you to fuck me since the day you asked me for my number. you've been dodging me all this time and it's been making me go insane. i want you so fucking bad."

"me?! i-i wanted you too! just .. didn't wanna push you into anything. wasn't sure you wanted to do anything. it's only been one month ..."

"two months! i've been wanting to jump you since day one, minnie."

"o-oh."

"can i fuck you now, baby?"

"yes. fuck. please."

and that was all confirmation you needed to throw off your shorts and shirt, giving seokmin perfect view of your nude body. his reaction had your ego reaching brand new levels of high as he shyly reached out his arms to your chest, audibly moaning at your pretty silhouette. you helped him the rest of the way by placing his palms around your tits and lowering yourself to explore his mouth with your tongue once again.

you only made out for a minute or so, growing too frustrated with desire to have his massive length inside you. you made quick work of his tank top, throwing it aside as if it were your biggest enemy. but the real enemy had been his sweats, which were keeping you from the dick you'd daydreamed about every night for months on end. you must've looked insane, reaching superhuman speed to remove his pants and boxers all at once, leaving a very naked seokmin before you, with his cock taking the role of main character as it stood in all its might before you.

you couldn't help but salivate over it. it was so tall and thick, just as you'd imagined. you had to hold yourself back from begging seokmin to let you gag on it, not wanting to scare him off. you didn't want him to think you were some kind of sex maniac, but the sight of such a pretty cock without a mouth to envelop it made you feel violent inside. but these thoughts could be left for another day. right now all you wanted was for him to bruise your cervix.

"baby ... please stop staring like that, you're making me self-conscious," said the owner of the delicious length standing before you.

"self-concious?? minnie, you're hung as shit! jesus, can't wait to sit on you baby. can i? wanna feel you so bad."

"goddamnit. don't say stuff like that .. i've been waiting so long, you're gonna make me cum."

god, the thought of his cum filling you up was yet another thought that had you humming in satisfaction. but you needed to put the distractions aside. you could not go another minute without molding to his size.

after rubbing his dick a bit as if to ensure exactly what was going to be impaling you in a few minutes, you finally sank down on him, sighing out in pleasure as you threw your head back.

so worth the wait.

"b-baby! fuck. you feel so ... so fucking good."

you sped up immediately upon him entering you, already so pent up you knew your orgasm would find you earlier than it usually did.

"can't believe you deprived me of this for two months, minnie. could've been keeping you warm all this time."

"no ... didn't wa-wanna push you. wanted you to want me first ..."

"minnie ... i've always wanted you. you're so ... you're perfect," your pace had now slowed down, allowing you to angle yourself in a way that had your toes curling, mouth hung open as your words disappeared in your throat.

"gonna cum if you keep saying those things, pretty."

"yeah? gonna cum for me, minnie? want you to fill me up so bad. will you do that?", you were taunting him, fully aware your end was just around the corner. you knew nothing would compare to the feeling of the pretty man filling you up, so you squeezed your walls around him, making him groan out at the feeling.

his hands tightened on your skin, maniacally trying to guide your movements as he finally climaxed, leading you to your own climax almost immediately after. you both shivered against each other, feeling the intensity of your orgasms cruise through you.

it took you a few seconds to regain full consciousness. seokmin had been the one to speak up first after the fact, making you giggle at his breathless statement.

"next time, please just jump me."

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #svt fanfic #seventeen #svt #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen oneshot #seventeen smut #svt smut #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #seokmin fluff #seokmin imagines #seokmin scenarios #seokmin x reader #seokmin smut #dk imagines #dk smut #dk x reader #dokyeom smut #dokyeom imagines #dokyeom x reader #dokyeom fanfic

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen react to their s/o's baby photos

notes: ive been choosing baby photos for our school yearbook cz it's the end of the year and it had me thinking.... what if i made this a svt hc??

masterlist

seungcheol, jeonghan, hoshi

eyes are positively gleaming at the chance to see your embarrassing moments when your parents bring up ur baby photos when he's visiting one day. he is so very ready to make fun of you for how ridiculous you looked as a baby. only, that all gets forgotten when he's shown the first picture and his jaw drops open because???? you were so cute wtf????? how is this even possible omg you were the cutest baby he's ever seen. all thoughts of blackmail are gone from his head. he's just in awe over how you've stayed so CUTE over the years

joshua, woozi, vernon, chan

finds you absolutely adorable no matter what. every picture that gets placed in front of him, he's instantly smiling and pointing out your chubby cheeks and saying that you're the cutest little bean he's ever laid his eyes on. you could be screaming and throwing the biggest tantrum in the photo and he'll still giggle and say you're soooo so adorable. is he ridiculously, horribly in love with you? yeah. and he knows it. doesn't stop him from steadfastly believing you were the cutest baby ever tho

junhui, dokyeom, mingyu

giggles at all your demented baby photos. your parents were the kind that took photos of every single memory during your childhood, so there are many of you with your face screwed up into a temper tantrum or with food all over your face or when you're drooling all over yourself whilst u were teething. you find it embarrassing, but this guy thinks that it's soooo unbelievably cute. keeps giggling like he's gone insane. is, weirdly, especially attached to that one picture of u trying to gnaw off your grandma's hand with your toothless gums

wonwoo, minghao, seungkwan

he always had a feeling that u were cute when you were a baby, and on the day that your parents busted out the childhood photos, his feelings were confirmed. good lord, you were such an adorable baby that he can't help but smile with such ridiculous fondness down at the photos before looking over at you again, pinching your cheeks and saying that you're still as cute as you were back then. very seriously asks ur parents if they can send him copies of the baby photos that he likes the most so he can keep them for himself

PLEASE REMEMBER TO REBLOG <3

request guidelines

reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @kikohao @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @dokyeomkyeom @kikohao

#fairyhaos.works #seventeen #svt #seventeen fic #seventeen drabble #seventeen headcanons #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #svt fluff #scoups #seungcheol #jeonghan #joshua #hong jisoo #junhui #hoshi #wonwoo #woozi #jihoon #minghao #the8 #mingyu #dokyeom #seokmin #seungkwan #hansol #vernon #dino

[kozukensgf]

bf texts with seventeen! maknae line

their reaction when you didnt say "i love you" back to them

genre: smau, fluff, one shot, crack, fake texts

character(s): the8, dk, mingyu, seungkwan, vernon, dino

masterlist

hyung line version

#hazel posted #smau #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #kpop smau #svt fluff #svt smau #seventeen #seventeen smau #seventeen texts #the8 #xu minghao #dk #lee seokmin #mingyu #kim mingyu #mingyu imagines #mingyu x yn #mingyu fluff #seungkwan #boo seungkwan #vernon #chwe vernon #dino #lee chan #lee dino

[elllisaaa]

Can I pls request seventeen reaction when they have a crush on reader they get jealous when she hangs out with her guy best friend (they are also super close) more than them?

hiii anonie ! i love that everyone keeps sending me these type of request for seventeen because i love to do them so so much ! hope you'll like it !

seventeen being jealous of your bff

-> pairing : svt x gn!reader

-> word count : 2.7k

-> genre : fluff

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> masterlist | svt masterlist

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

Despite Seungcheol being cute and sweet around you most of the time, he’s not so chill anymore when he sees you being all over another guy. He perfectly knows that he’s your best friend, perfectly knows that you want both of them to get along well because that’s why you asked him to come with you to this café, but he couldn’t help glaring at the other guy like he committed the worst crimes ever. Cheol tried his best to remain respectful and answer your best friend's questions, but he couldn’t help feeling a little jealous at watching you laugh with someone else about things he had no clue about. This would make him realize how bad he wanted to be with you, and how dumb it was of him to try and act as if he was not smitten by you. After this meeting during which he spent the whole time staring at the guy, he would plan the perfect confession to tell you how he feels about you and to not have to support this anymore. 

YOON JEONGHAN 

As usual, Jeonghan will act like a little shit. When you told him you wanted to plan a game night with him and your best friend so they could meet, he knew it was his chance to be insufferable. And he was the most annoying the whole night : cheating at every game and pretending to have done nothing, teasing your best friend for being a loser, and being the cheeky bastard he is. Deep down, he just felt like he was too late to confess to you about his crush, seeing how close and comfortable you seemed to be with this other guy. And it was only the worst side of him telling him to take some kind of revenge by being very irritating. Though Jeonghan would feel bad when you left and told him that he could’ve been nicer to your best friend. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel like he didn’t care about you and your emotions. It would take him a few hours of deep thinking before he sent you the longest text ever to explain his behavior and thus confess. 

HONG JOSHUA

Not being a very jealous person, Joshua didn’t expect the rush of anger that came with running into you and your best friend at the mall. There was seemingly nothing to be jealous about, you were just acting like a normal person being close and affectionate with their best friend. He was perfectly aware of that, but still, he felt like the third wheel while walking with the two of you. When he would try to talk to you, the other guy would always open his mouth and Joshua was getting really annoyed. Finally, your best friend left, leaving you with a pouty Joshua. You would ask him what’s wrong, and why he didn’t make an effort to get along with your best friend. And even if Joshua had been planning to confess for some time, trying to think about the most romantic way to do it, seeing another guy looking at you with the same lovestruck gaze he stared at you with was his last straw. He would tell you all about his feelings on the spot and pray inside that will not reject him.

MOON JUNHUI

He really holds his heart on his sleeve, so it’s not difficult to notice whether he’s happy or angry. Thus when you presented your long distance best friend that you hadn’t seen in a long time to him and his members, you could see how annoyed he was by the other guy's presence. You had every right to be all over someone you hadn’t seen in over a year, yes, but Jun felt a little bad anyway. You two had grown closer and closer, and he really thought that you had something special going on, that it was starting to be a little more than a casual friendship on your side too. But when he was seeing how you were acting around your best friend, he was not so sure anymore that you could maybe reciprocate his feelings. You were never so touchy with him, never so affectionate, never so flirty or straightforward. You would obviously notice how bothered and mostly sad Jun seemed to be the entire night but he kept saying that everything was okay, and he would end up leaving earlier because he could not stand the sight anymore. He would doubt a little but in the end, his friends will convince him to confess before it’s too late. 

KWON SOONYOUNG

He would think that he’s sleek, but frankly, even you could see that he was jealous of the bond between you and your best friend. You would often bring him with you for your friendly gathering because you didn’t want him to spend his weekends alone and he was getting along well with everyone. Everyone except Soonyoung who couldn’t seem to appreciate him. In all honesty, your best friend was a cool guy, but Soonyoung didn’t want to befriend the guy who could probably steal his crush if he tried. This would get to the point that you would get in a fight with him about it, clearly not pleased that he didn’t make any effort to try and talk with your best friend. Your argument would be really bad, and you would both ignore each other for a week or two, too proud to admit that both of you had some parts to take in the fight. Soonyoung will eventually come back to you, practically begging on his knees to let him back in your life and accidentally confessing along the way of his monologue. 

JEON WONWOO

Wonwoo is not one to get jealous easily, especially since you’re only his crush and not his partner, he has nothing to say in who you’re talking to and how you act with these same people. So to be honest, he’s not really jealous of the relationship you have with your best friend, but more of the way this guy is able to openly express his interest in you, always finding a way to compliment you and flirt with you without it making you uncomfortable. Which is precisely what Wonwoo is struggling to do, not knowing if saying that he finds you incredibly pretty in this or that outfit is off limits for “just friends”. Is it different because your bestie has no real attraction towards you and Wonwoo is genuinely trying to show you that he could treat you right ? Probably. But still, he’ll stay more quiet everytime your best friend is with you. You would assume that’s because he doesn’t feel too comfortable with people he doesn’t know much the first few times, and Wonwoo would take care that you don’t discover the real reason while taking mental notes of how to try and show you that he wants more as subtly as possible. 

LEE JIHOON

Since he’s always trying to remember the most insignificant details about you and what you like, he would take pride in knowing things that your best friend doesn’t. He would never say it out loud obviously, but still, the discreet smirk on his face would give it away. When you go out at a coffee shop, your best friend always has to ask you what you want when Jihoon simply brings you your usual because he got your order memorized. While your best friend always has to ask you what you want or need for your birthday, Jihoon always knows exactly what to gift you and he never misses. But every time you told him about the things you did alone with the guy, or what you had planned with him for the weekends, he felt a little jealous. At this point, he thinks you’re either not interested in him or that you’re just very dense and oblivious to all the subtle things he does to show his interest in you. You have so much partner privileges and he’s not even your boyfriend. Yet. Because it would take him only a few more times of your best friend missing on what you really like to rush and finish the song he wanted to confess to you with.

LEE SEOKMIN

He doesn’t hide his jealousy well at all, everyone who knows him a little bit is able to tell that he doesn’t like your best friend. He thinks that the guy is not handsome, not interesting and not even funny. Well, not as much as him at least. That is a lie because deep down, he can’t help but wonder if you really like this guy more than him. So Seokmin will try to take as much space as possible, talking louder and making a lot more jokes than usual so that your attention would be on him and not on your best friend. He’s always a little extra on a daily basis, but when your best friend is here too, he’s even more outgoing, to the point he becomes a little annoying. But the only way he has to be more interesting than your best friend is by doing all this, or so he thought. When you told him that it was in fact a little disrespectful for the other guy and that you didn’t understand why he could not try to befriend him when he was usually the sweetest, Seokmin felt like an idiot and apologized immediately, cheeks burning and trying to come up with an excuse. His crush is as well hidden as his jealousy (that is to say, not at all), so you’re only waiting for him to finally confess. 

KIM MINGYU

Another one who’s painfully obvious but he wouldn’t make a big deal of it in front of you, simply pouting and getting a lot quieter than he usually is. He will get so sulky, everytime he finds you laughing more at your best friend's jokes than at his. But he finds you so cute that he can’t stay mad at you for too long and he ends up liking the other guy because he’s obviously not mean nor annoying, Mingyu just can’t bear the thought of him snatching your attention away. And if he would of course never say a word about it to you directly, he will definitely complain about your best friend to some of his members, going on and on about why he can’t make up the fact that you like this guy more than him and that he can’t stand to hear you two joke around about things he doesn’t know about. Mingyu’s members would end up telling you to please do something about the situation because they can’t spend another two hours listening to why you should go out with him and not your best friend. He would be so shy when you address the issue with him, trying to deny it despite his red cheeks. But it’s okay because he’s very cute. 

XU MINGHAO

He's pretty level-headed so it's not easy to get him to feel jealousy. And if it ever happens, Minghao knows that this emotion is not rational because firstly, you told him time and time how much you loved your relationship with your best friend and didn't want it to change, and secondly, you were not his partner - yet - so he had no right to be jealous. Of course, he doesn't doubt your intentions and what you told him, but he can't help but be suspicious about how your best friend perceives you. Because the guy looks at you the same way Minghao does : with fondness, like you were his entire world. And that was the whole problem. Because Minghao had tried to give you some hints here and there for a few months, just to test the water and you seemed not to have pushed him away so he was happy. But seeing the way you did the same thing with your bestie when you had explicitly told him you didn't have any feelings for him got him worried. Maybe you didn't really like him in the end, maybe you were just trying to be kind and not hurt him ? So rather than being jealous, he would be anxious. It's probably what would give him the little push he needed to finally confess to you.

BOO SEUNGKWAN

I think he would try - and notice how I insist on try - to stay calm and collected because from an outside point of view, there is nothing wrong going on. But from his point of view, your best friend is clearly being too touchy and Seungkwan feels jealous even if he denies it. Because the nasty looks he gives your best friend everytime he hangs out with you kinda gives it away. He’s so obvious but won’t say a word about the real reason. Seungkwan will instead pretend it’s because he doesn’t get along with your best friend and dislikes him. He can’t stop himself from making snarky remarks, or mocking him under the guise of it being a joke. And he would have continued like that if you hadn’t told him one time that you were kinda sad that he didn’t like one of the most important people in your life. Seungkwan would feel bad and make an effort to at least tolerate the guy and be a little less mean but the side eyes everytime he did or said something he found embarrassing didn’t go away. He would certainly not be able to put up with this situation for long, and after another time of him not being nice to your best friend, you would have a silly fight during which he will confess. And magically, he was all gentle and friendly to your bestie after you became his partner. 

CHWE HANSOL

Hansol and you immediately clicked when you were introduced to each other, never going through the awkward stage of a friendship. So when you told him how, on the contrary, you stayed pretty long in this uncomfortable situation with your best friend before getting very close to each other, he felt kind of superior to the other guy, like his bond with you was much more real and valid. Hansol didn’t really know where all these feelings were coming from, nor why he felt so upset seeing you hug and be touchy with someone that was not him. Not that both of you were particularly physically affectionate, but you often had a hand on his arm when you talked, or you placed your head on his shoulder when you were watching a movie, or you held on to him or his jacket to not get lost when walking through crowded spaces. And Hansol thought that these moments were special, that he was special in a sense. This wouldn’t really be jealousy, but much more disappointment because he would think he read the signs wrong and start to cancel plans if he knows your best friend will be here. He would however decide to confess or at least do something to sort this problem when you told him that you were sad he was distancing himself from you.

LEE CHAN

Even if his crush on you is pretty obvious, his jealousy would not be so visible. Chan would choose to befriend your bestie instead because you know what they say : keep your friends close and your enemies even closer. So he’ll play the kind and fun guy around him, just to see how your best friend acts with you. And he’s clearly not having it, not loving at all the fact that he always touches you and tries to get closer to you. Sometimes, it even seems like you don’t even want him to touch you and swat his hands away but he always comes back pretending it’s a joke, playfully fighting. But Chan doesn’t need to be an expert in relationships to understand that this is clearly not okay, and he can’t help thinking that he would never do that to you, that he will always respect your consent. He’s also pretty sure that you have a thing for him too so he’s not going to put up with the situation for too long. Until then, he’ll subtly make comments or do things to make you understand his intentions more and to signal to your best friend that he’s not going to take you away from him anymore. 

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

svt taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@lil-kpopstan @hann1bee @iraisswiftie @bewoyewo

#seventeen #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seungcheol x reader #scoups x reader #jeonghan x reader #joshua x reader #junhui x reader #hoshi x reader #soonyoung x reader #wonwoo x reader #jihoon x reader #woozi x reader #mingyu x reader #seokmin x reader #dk x reader #minghao x reader #seungkwan x reader #vernon x reader #hansol x reader #chan x reader #dino x reader #eli answering your questions

[wifeyoozi]

ot13 seventeen : when you have trouble sleeping

seungcheol : probably buys you a lot of products and gadgets like white noise machine and air purifiers and blankets to help you sleep better. will indulge you and cuddle you till you get comfortable and sleep

jeonghan : will run his fingers through your scalp and massage your head lightly to induce sleep. surprisingly it worked

joshua : will end up staying up with you. you two have some real deep talk about yourselves and your relationships and just everything around you.

junhui : will take you to the balcony with a lot of blankets and cuddle you on the relaxing chair. he believes stargazing and the fresh cool air will help you sleep better. both of you end up falling asleep in the single chair, you on top of him.

hoshi : will tell you a silly bed time story and keeps extending it with his imagination till he hears your soft snores, and then wraps his arms around you, murmuring a good night in your hair before sleeping too.

wonwoo : would joke about fucking you so you get tired and fall asleep and gets actually surprised when you ask him to try out. he would fuck you, but more gently and passionately to bring you to a satisfying, sleep-bringing orgasm

woozi : magic in his arms. somehow he will hug you tight and you'll just fall asleep soon, full of his scent as you nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck. will pepper you with kisses, making you feel full and loved.

minghao : will make you some hot chamomile or hibiscus tea for you. will sit down with you and ask if there is anything on your mind that is keeping you up and talk with you about it if there is.

mingyu : he is very cuddly while sleeping and with those big arms, he is usually very warm and comfy to cuddle with. however if you can't sleep with that, he'll hold you loose, letting you get some air and get comfortable in your space before pulling you close into a comfier position

seokmin : he'll hum or sing for you. he has a very sweet voice and it be such a waste if he didn't. you find his voice very soothing and have told him before so he knows the best way to help you sleep is by softly singing by your ear.

seungkwan : he is used to staying awake till you sleep first so when you are not able to sleep for a long time he knows something is wrong and asks you about it. whether it you are not finding a comfortable position to sleep or are bothered by something in your mind, he'll help you with it.

vernon : wouldn't be as quick to notice your discomfort but when he does, he is really concerned. would take you for a long walk if it helps your mind come at ease. he won't pry you to tell him whats keeping you up, but if you tell him, he'll listen to you diligently.

chan : will stay up with you if you need to talk about something or just watch tiktok with you while spooning you or cuddle you in whatever position you feel most comfortable in or all of the above, depending on how you are feeling.

#svt #seventeen #dk x reader #hoshi x reader #jeonghan x reader #joshua x reader #scoups x reader #jun x reader #wonwoo x reader #woozi x reader #the8 x reader #mingyu x reader #seungkwan x reader #vernon x reader #svt x reader #svt fluff #scoups fluff #jeonghan fluff #joshua fluff #jun fluff #hoshi fluff #wonwoo fluff #woozi fluff #the8 fluff #mingyu fluff #seokmin fluff #seungkwan fluff #dino fluff #vernon fluff

[mangocustard16]

BOYFRIEND DOKYEOM WHO...

pairing: idol!dokyeom x reader genre: fluff, established relationship, comfort warnings: skinship :) wc: 252 a/n: this is very self indulgent sorry not sorry!

bf! dokyeom who gives you a new nickname every three business days

bf! dokyeom who loves to give you back hugs, like picking you up and swirling you around type back hugs

bf! dokyeom who makes you laugh till you have tears in your eyes

bf! dokyeom who was way too insistent on buying the damn sogo

bf! dokyeom who asks you questions like, "Babe will you still love me if I were a pigeon? Would you cage me if I were a pigeon? But if I were a pigeon I wouldn't like being caged up. Do you even love me?"

bf! dokyeom who has like a million heart emojis next to your name in his contacts

bf! dokyeom who'd be the type to send you a million voicemails when on tour (bonus: all his voicemails end with kissy noises)

bf! dokyeom who doesn't do sit-down type dates, you guys are either jamming in the karaoke or running along the han river

bf! dokyeom who fishes for compliments because it really makes his day

bf! dokyeom who can lift the 30 pound rice packet with one hand but cannot remove the bug from the room for the love of god

bf! dokyeom who whispers "i love you" every night just before he falls asleep

bf! dokyeom who loves to use the lamest pickup lines while picking you up for every date

bf! dokyeom who would gladly drive to mcdonald's at 2 am because you said you wanted it

@kflixnet @k-films@k-labels

taglist-˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅: @bangchansbae @haecien @aaniag @aaasia111 @weird-bookworm @gigification @bewoyewo if you want to be added just send me an ask ♡⸝⸝

pls reblog if you liked !!

#mango.writes #bf! seventeen #seventeen #kflixnet #k-films #k-labels #lee seokmin #dk #svt #seventeen headcanons #svtcreations #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #kpop fluff #fluff #seventeen fluff #seventeen fic #seventeen x reader #dokyeom #seokmin #dokyeom x reader #dokyeom fic #dokyeom fluff #dokyeom imagines #seokmin x reader #seokmin fluff #seokmin fic #seokmin imagines #seokmin headcanons #dokyeom headcanons

[bookyeom]

anything but shy - lsm

pairing: dokyeom x reader word count: 1.6k warnings: a single swear i think, alcohol, kissing, a little suggestive but not much summary: seokmin is shy… kind of.

A/N: FINALLY A LITTLE ONE FOR MY ANGEL BABY LOVE OF MY LIFE SEOKMIN. It’s just a small one, but it came to me and I love him. That’s all.

“Seokmin — oof.”

The man beside you giggles as he tries to right himself against you after stumbling, mumbling an apology that doesn’t seem quite genuine. The two of you finally make it down the hall to his bedroom door, and he moves to put all of his weight against the door frame. He’s not even pretending that he’s not watching you, which makes you feel all sorts of funny on the inside, because when he’s sober, Seokmin is as shy as they come. 

You can’t count the number of times you’ve caught him looking, only for him to flush and look away when you do. Your friends keep telling you that he likes you, that the two of you act like way more than friends, and you’ve kind of given up on denying it at this point. He’s your friend, and sure — you’ve thought about what his lips might taste like. Or what those beautiful hands might feel like against your skin. That’s beyond the point.

Since you’d gotten him back to his apartment, you’d managed to get some water in him. He seems to be pretty sobered up already, but you can tell there’s enough liquid courage left in him for him not to care that he’s being obvious. You try your best to ignore his intense gaze as you turn the handle, kicking a pair of shoes out of the way that block the path to his bed. You reach for and tug on his wrist, pulling him into the room behind you, and the two of you finally make it to sit on the end of his bed. He doesn’t make a move to lay down, his head lolling onto your shoulder with a contented sigh. You try desperately to ignore the chill that shoots down your spine when you feel his breath against your neck, when you feel the weight of his side pressed into yours. 

“You’ve gotta get changed, Seok.”

Seokmin shakes his head. “Too much effort.”

“Well I’m not dressing you for bed.”

It’s quiet for a moment, and then you can hear his sharp inhale against your neck as he says, “Will you undress me, then?” 

What the fuck?

You absolutely cannot do this. 

“Sorry,” he adds a moment later, his voice much quieter, and you can almost hear him second guessing himself.

You choose to ignore him for both of your benefits as you gently push his head up and off your shoulder. He whines but stands up, making his way over to his dresser. You avert your eyes quickly as you fall back onto his bed, but you’re not fast enough to miss him pulling his shirt off over his head. You squeeze your eyes shut, the image of his tan back and shoulders seared into the back of your eyelids.

You’ve been trying desperately not to dwell on any of Seokmin’s flirty little gestures or comments for a long time now. You’ve been friends for a while and it happens often when he’s drunk, which was difficult to handle at first — but manageable. The problem is that recently, he’s been teasing you while entirely sober, too. You wonder when he’d gained his confidence; you think it might have something to do with the way Soonyoung and Mingyu have been hyping him up at the gym. 

It’s subtle, and still very Seokmin, the way he goes about it. A little squeeze of your hand before he gets up to leave; a wink as he pays for your coffee; a compliment that catches you by surprise. You have no idea how to react to any of it because he’s just like that so effortlessly — so full of teasing remarks and kindness. It’s been shaking you to your core, and you wonder if he knows. On occasions that are few and far between, you manage to catch him off guard in return with a flirty remark. You cherish those moments. 

You wince as you replay the evening. Tonight, he’d been an absolute menace. And by that you mean he’d hardly left your side, brushing soft touches across your back and shoulders, grasping for your fingers when the group of you went anywhere. You know he didn’t even drink that much, so you can’t help but wonder why he’s being extra flirty tonight. 

Your breath and thoughts are promptly stolen from you with a whoosh as Seokmin sprawls on top of you without warning. You let out a groan at the sudden weight. 

“Ow,” you whine, and he just hums in response. 

“You’re really comfy,” he mumbles against your shoulder. He sounds shy again, a completely different person from the one you’d seen just moments before. You can feel your heartbeat pick up at the realization, at the thought of you being the one to make him feel shy. You momentarily forget about the pain you’re in when he adds, mumbling, “The comfiest.”

“Thank you,” you whisper.

He nods, lips brushing against your skin as he hums. Neither of you speak for a few moments, and you find yourself holding your breath in the silence. You can feel him against every part of you, and you’re terrified that he’ll hear how fast your heart is beating with him this close.

“I think I’m more comfortable with you than anyone else.” He says the words so softly that it makes your head spin.

Oh. 

Your hand lifts on instinct to the hair at the back of his neck. You feel him still for a moment before he relaxes, and you let your fingers start to play with the strands. He sinks further into you with a sigh. You desperately don’t want to move, don’t want to break whatever is happening here — but it’s really starting to get a little hard to breathe. 

“Seokmin,” you try again softly, and this time he lifts his head to look at you. The breath is effectively knocked out of you when his eyes meet yours, soft and hesitant, and you swallow. “I don’t want to disturb you, and I know you want to show off that you’ve been working out… but you’re really heavy.” 

His eyes go so wide that you’d laugh if you weren’t in the position you’re in. “Shit! Sorry, oh my god.” He moves to push himself off of you in a panic, but you keep him from going too far with your arms around his neck. 

“I didn’t say I wanted you to let go,” comes out before you can stop it, and you watch Seokmin’s face switch from horrified to surprised to pleased, all in the span of ten seconds. Confident Seokmin is back, and you’re screwed. 

Because it only takes a second for his hands to slide around your back, another half a second to flip you over. Then you’re suddenly on top of him, pressed down against his chest as he beams up at you. “Does this work for you?” He smiles. “Works great for me.”

He’s flirting with you. 

On purpose. 

Sweet, shy Seokmin is flirting with you, looking you dead in the eyes as he does. 

“I wanted to play with your hair,” you finally manage in an attempt to tease back, and you know you’ve succeeded when Seokmin smiles so wide you wonder if it hurts. He lets his head fall back against the pillow, his hands squeezing against your lower back as he makes a show of getting comfortable.

“You may continue,” he finally says dramatically.

You roll your eyes, but the fond smile on your lips gives you away. It fades slightly as you stare down at him, and he gazes back, watching and waiting for you to make the next move. He’s so handsome, you think, all big brown eyes and soft touches, the only indication that he might be nervous seen in the way he swallows thickly in the silence. Your eyes travel across his face as your hand lifts to brush his hair back behind his ear, and you break eye contact as your finger trails down to gently play with the hair that curls just behind his ear. 

“Are you sober right now?”

Your question comes out timid. You can feel him look at you, as serious as ever, hands squeezing where they’re linked together against your back as he replies, “I only had two beers.” He waits for you to meet his eyes again before he adds, “I’m nervous, but I didn’t want to rely on liquid courage tonight. Not with you.” 

You can feel your heart skip a beat inside your chest. “What do you need the courage for?” 

He opens and closes his mouth for a moment, debating. Then he squeezes his eyes shut. “To tell you that I like you a lot and want to date you, mostly.”

You had kind of expected him to say something along those lines, based on your current predicament. 

Does that mean you were prepared for it? Absolutely not.

“Mostly?” Is all you can manage. 

“Also to tell you that you’re super hot and funny.” His eyes are still closed, eyebrows furrowed, and your hand moves to rest against his jaw.

“Seokmin.” He opens one eye, then two. You are so fond. “You’re super hot and funny, too. Also, yes.”

”Yes?” He repeats, and you nod.

”I want to date you, Seok. Yes.”

He blinks up at you, jaw slack, before he murmurs, “Holy shit.”

You can’t come up with an answer to that. So you do the next best thing: you lean down to capture his lips with yours. And you’re quick to learn that Seokmin is anything but shy when it comes to kissing you.

Taglist: @wheeboo @tae-bebe @waldau @eoieopda @gyuminusone @minisugakoobies @lvlystars @seohomrwolf @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @christinewithluv @wqnwoos @iluvseokmin @darkypooo

#lsmfic #lsm x reader #DoKyeom x reader #dokyeom x you #dokyeom fluff #DoKyeom imagines #Seventeen x reader #svt X reader #SVT x you #Seokmin X reader #seokmin x you #svt fluff #seokmin fluff #my writing

[waldau]

hand in mine — lee seokmin | 1,550 words | fluff

slightly inspired by my friend and their partner, i didn't know it was possible for two people to be so in love :') here's just...dk being sappy. sappy dk.

gender neutral reader. warnings: bonus pov?

dokyeom swears you're like a portable human charger.

when he's away, whether it's because he's still in practice or because he's on tour or even when he's at his parents' place, a single phone call from you is enough to lift his spirits to get him through the rest of the day. weekends spent at each other's places together are almost enough to convince him to just become an apartment hermit.

it's been true for ages — and it's true again, tonight.

or it will be, if you'll stop talking to one kim mingyu.

dokyeom's getting antsier the longer you stand there talking to mingyu, nodding along to something he's telling you. can't it wait till tomorrow? doesn't mingyu see he's in dire need of recharging?

now he knows mingyu's not telepathic, but somehow the younger man realizes dokyeom's staring at the two of you, so he finishes whatever he's saying with a nod towards where dokyeom's sitting. you follow his gaze and smile when you see dokyeom, who swears his heart melts a little, right there.

but then you stop to greet joshua, chatting with him for a minute (a whole minute, in this economy?) before you're standing right next to dokyeom.

he stretches his arms out to you. you bend down, letting him wrap himself around you the best he can. it's good, but it's not enough. he lets go only to tug at your hand. "sit down."

you look around. "there's no place, kyeomie. i don't mind standing."

he frowns at you. "i mind. you can sit in my lap."

you give him a look. "in front of your friends? i'd rather not."

dokyeom pouts. "they're your friends, too."

"of course i know that, baby. but they don't ever stop teasing us, do they?"

"ugh. they'll make fun of me, not you. please?"

you run a hand through his hair. "i don't want them to make fun of you, either."

he huffs. "fine. c'mere," he mumbles, scooting to give you some more space. you go willingly this time, settling yourself into the minimal space next to him. it's not easy when there's already thirteen of them in a room, but he manages to nudge chan away to give you some more space.

"hi," you whisper, letting him throw his hand around your shoulder to pull you closer. "missed you today."

dokyeom pulls back to look at you. he feels almost shy to have all your attention on him, silly as it sounds. "just today?" he asks, grinning when you roll your eyes. "you got here safely?"

you nod, leaning up to press a kiss to his nose. "perfectly. there was way lesser traffic than i expected."

"good."

you snuggle into dokyeom's side, stretching your legs out next to his. this is always his favourite place to be — because he can have your words be all for his ears only.

but then he frowns when he sees your outfit — a shirt and a pair of shorts. he takes off his jacket and drapes it across your legs despite your protests.

"you should've worn something warmer," he frowns. you're never good with the cold, and you're not going to be comfortable with the way more than half the members need the air conditioning to be switched on at all times.

"i was almost ready to go to bed, kyeomie," you explain, adjusting the jacket on yourself nonetheless. "i wouldn't be here if shua didn't call me. thank you, though. how was your day?"

dokyeom sighs. he doesn't want to talk about his day when he's been living through it for the entirety of...well, the day, but he has to say something for you. "not...the best," he concedes, resting his head on your shoulder.

"do you want to go home soon?" you ask, your hand finding his, tracing random patterns on his skin. the tingles help ground him.

he shrugs. "i don't know."

it's true, as much as he hates it. he doesn't want to leave because it'll end up breaking up the party — it always so happens that the first person to leave is the catalyst for most others to start wrapping things up, unwittingly. he doesn't want to be a party pooper, but at the same time, he's had a long day. it's like he's been aware of every single second he's been awake, and it's exhausting.

"okay," you say simply. "let's stay for a while more. it's not like we're in a rush. and i know how hard you worked today."

dokyeom closes his eyes at that. he knows he's done well, today being one of those days where he's genuinely looking for the end, but hearing it from you makes it much better. "yeah?"

"yeah," you affirm, hand rising to comb gently through his hair again, left open now that he's discarded his beanie. "i love you, kyeom. so much. it's still hard to put it into words sometimes."

he snuggles a bit more into you at that, slightly satisfied when seungkwan chucks a piece of popcorn at him from the bed, telling you both to stop being so cheesy. he feels even better when you throw it back at seungkwan, letting out a triumphant ha! when it hits him on the knee.

he loves you.

there's no bottom to that endless truth. he's somewhat loved you ever since he first saw you, drawn to the way your sense of humour was so close to his, and the somewhat turned into a definitely the more he got to know you.

dokyeom isn't half of anything — he's all of himself, lee seokmin, content with the way he is except for a few gripes here and there, but you complete him in a way he didn't know any person could.

he's not worried about you leaving him — there's no way either of you are letting that happen. it's more about not knowing who he is without you, now that your lives are so intertwined.

"stop," you mumble, your grip on his hair tightening slightly.

"stop what?"

"thinking. about whatever you are. i told you i love you and i'm not going anywhere."

the haze he's in almost clears a bit at that. "how did you— i didn't—"

"you always get so pensive when you're tired, did you know? i should record you some time. it's like there's a philosopher hidden inside you."

pensive? when he's tired?

"i love you normally," he blurts out, scared at the insinuation that he thinks about how much you mean to him only when he's vulnerable like this.

you're not saying anything back, though. you're just smiling at him.

"what," he asks, breaths a bit shallow.

"i know," you press, hand lifting his to show the ring that sits on his fourth finger. "i love you normally, too."

dokyeom lets out a chuckle. he still can't believe it's possible to love someone this much.

"now let me get you home and help you get some sleep, okay?" you ask, punctuating your question with a tug to his chin. "the others will understand."

as if you have to ask him. he'll go wherever you take him, no questions asked.

joshua can see the change in dokyeom's eyes the moment you walk into the room.

the conversation doesn't stop; mingyu and jun are still arguing about how mingyu should stop taking inspiration from jeonghan when it comes to board games and cheating. jeonghan has a proud smile on his face. wonwoo and minghao have zoned out entirely, too busy with their phones to acknowledge the little fight going on. the others are busy eating or ordering more food or arguing about which movie to watch next.

there's just one person missing from the chaos.

dokyeom's sitting on the floor under the window, entirely in his own world, constantly checking his phone and looking at the door, shutting his eyes for a minute before repeating his actions.

joshua would've poked fun at him if he didn't know how tired dokyeom already was today. a particularly tiring day, especially with a comeback practice they'd just gotten back from, and a going seventeen shoot in which dokyeom had been on the losing team. even though he doesn't like to show it, joshua knows dokyeom is somewhat upset over not winning.

but the moment you walk into the room, it's like a switch has been flipped. dokyeom sits up straighter, the neutral expression on his face morphing into a tired but real smile. he holds his hands out to you and pouts when you stop to greet all the other members first, shaking hands with them or giving them a quick side hug.

joshua pulls you close with ease. "thanks for making it here on such short notice."

"are you seriously thanking me for that?"

"i mean...he really needs to see you. today hasn't been his day."

you look over at your husband for a moment. "i could tell. his texts were pretty dry."

"right? now go get your lover boy. he's been moping all evening long."

you wrinkle your nose at the term, just like he expected you to, but you nod and make your way to dokyeom.

joshua turns away when dokyeom gives you a dopey, lovesick grin. he'll let the teasing go for tonight.

taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched @minnieminshi @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae

#kinda eh about this but i love dk so much #lee seokmin #lee seokmin fluff #dk #dk fluff #dokyeom #dokyeom fluff #seventeen #seventeen fluff #svt #svt fluff #fluff #waldau writes

[seuonji]

彡on a variety show w your svt bf!

๑ idol!svt x idol!yn secret relationship series! no storyline, just fun.

one ๑ two ๑ three ๑ four ๑ five ๑ six ๑ seven #mlist

notes ๑ variety show 'my alcohol diary' has mentions of drinking & getting drunk.

your group plays esports (valorant, leave of legends, apex, etc) against svt as a hybe special!

wonwoo gives you a look when you both sit at the end of your respective tables, you on the right, him on the left making you two sort of beside each other.

as you both play, the host points out that your skills are extremely good. your group member brings up the fact that recently you’ve been spending a lot more time gaming in your free time to which wonwoo rests his head on his hand to cover his smile knowing that he’s the reason you’ve been gaming more. the host adds on that your play style is a bit similar to wonwoo giving both groups chills. “perhaps it’s what’s adapted after a long time of playing,” you calmly respond.

on the other hand with soonyoung— he keeps messing up, at one point he shot one of his members, “the keyboard isn’t following what i want to do.” and you’d fr just face palm yourself. the host mentions, “even yn is getting tired of your antics.” “what antics!? im really trying.” you hope he can make it when technology evolves further. after filming you meet up with him. “wasn’t i cool earlier?” he asks. “i think my baby cousin can beat you.”

jeonghan would be such a menace in this scenario cause omg he would target you. like if he spots you he will not stop shooting and chasing until he gets you— your group member watching all of this go down would try to shoot jeonghan yet somehow he’s dodging and still hunting you down— “let me breathe!?” jeonghan shouts at your member. “you’re not letting ME breathe?” you shout back.

๑

random play dance! (random song is played and you have to dance the correct choreography)

beforehand you'd ask seungkwan to help you with the dances but he was not about to help you out while you were in a different group! until in one of the rounds where you looked lost, seungkwan comes to the front and dances clearly as a way to help you. "you're helping the other groups! get to the back," competitive seungcheol would shout. "sorry i got excited," seungkwan laughs it off. being fr tho how does that man know that many choreographies.

i imagine seokmin/mingyu would whisper to you, "i got you, just follow me," and then he would be one of the first to be eliminated.

vernon keeps on looking at you and copying your dance— you can’t help but laugh at his facial expressions when he doesn’t know the dance but also somehow he’s surviving.

wherever you are in the arena, chan always ends up beside you.

๑

youngji's program 'my alcohol diary'

you’d go alone to promote your groups album. your episode was relatively short— they covered it up with 'yn got drunk super fast' but actually, whether you have a high tolerance or not, in the end when you got drunk, you just kept on gushing about your boyfriend. (bf can be any member)

when youngji asked you to teach her the dance of your song you went through it step by step until a certain part, “oh soonyoung choreographed this part and i gave it as a suggestion and it made the cut to the official choreo,” you said with a big smile. // “my boyfriend likes this part,” you danced the bit then nonchalantly continued to teach youngji but she’s standing, there still in shock of everything she’s heard.

after filming, your boyfriend would pick you up and take care of you till you sober up.

the next day youngji would message and reveal something to you.

yn: im so sorry for the short episode run-

youngji: if it makes you feel better, seungcheol/soonyoung/mingyu/minghao talked about you way more than you did about them.

๑

chinese whisper game as a mini game (there’s a given word/phrase and the word is passed on through all players, last players needs to shout it out word for word)

you’re standing in front of jeonghan/minghao and he keeps on blowing into your ear before he starts actually saying the given phrase—

but if it was the noise cancellation version (have to read lips or body actions to get the word/phrase)

seungcheol pouted at you when you couldn’t understand what he was saying which a lot of viewers found weird since he would usually only do that with his members.

you almost hug jeonghan/joshua/wonwoo when he got the word correct—

jun/wonwoo/jihoon keeps on giving you high-fives every round.

you consider choking soonyoung when he can’t get the word correct for shit.

you and minghao/chan kept on bickering over the way he would execute the word. the staff and your members would be more interested on how you guys fight rather than the word being finally passed over to the last person.

#彡 idol!svt x idol!yn #🐚☆ #📢aya wrote! #seventeen #seventeen x reader #choi seungcheol #hoshi #kwon soonyoung #svt imagines #svt x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen crack #svt fluff #seungcheol #jeonghan #seungcheol x reader #seokmin #mingyu #seungkwan #wonwoo #jeonghan x reader #wonwoo x reader #seokmin x reader #mingyu x reader #hoshi x reader #jeon wonwoo #svt seokmin #xu minghao #boo seungkwan #junhui imagines

[wongyuuu]

midnight rain | lsm

pairing: seokmin x f!reader genre: angst, smut, a little bit of fluff word count: 17k summary: after seven years away, you finally return home. meeting seokmin again wasn't in your plans, but life wasn't willing to let you have it your way. warnings: minors do not interact, kissing, oral, swearing, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don't do this) a/n: this is part of 1k event, it was requested the dearest @ressonancee. but also, it's part of svt ans songs from midnights. i just wrote two in one and something that was supposed to be short became this monster. i hope i wrote seokmin in a way you'll like it. prompt: “I don’t want anyone else. No one else can make me feel like you do." Seokmin ➝ Midnight Rain He was sunshine, I was midnight rain ↳ it was the oldest story in the world, the bright boy fell for the grumpy girl.

Letter #1

Seokmin,

You know, I've always been very proud of not being a very attached person. I've always been proud that I can put myself first and second, because I know I need to do it, because I know that no one else will do it for me. So, when I came here and dropped everything I had, I thought it would be a lot easier than it actually is.

When I turn around in bed at night, after days of trying to get used to the time zone and weeks to the weather and the people here — which are both bad and for completely different reasons, nothing is like in the movies — I always hope to find you there by my side and being able to snuggle up to you like I always did. I wake up in the morning and make enough coffee for two people and take two mugs out of the cupboard, and only then do I realize I'm alone here. I don't need two mugs and I made too much coffee. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, I find myself typing your number, which I have memorized despite the fact that no one remembers phone numbers, because phones exist for a reason.

You have no idea how much I miss you and what I would do to be able to hear your voice again. I would do anything, I swear I could. But I know I no longer have that right. I know that what I did is unforgivable and although I want your forgiveness, I hope you never forget what I did to you.

You were still good to me on the last day. You took me to the airport, you said goodbye to me, you hugged me tight like you know I like it and you did your best not to shed a tear in front of me.

Every now and then I catch myself thinking that I messed up. I could have done my master's where we graduated, I didn't need to move to the other side of the world and leave the life I knew behind. But at the same time, I accept it. Coming here was my dream, it was always what I dreamed of even when you were by my side as well. And maybe that's why I never told you about the application, about being approved. Maybe I waited until the end, until the very last second to tell you because I knew you were the only one capable of changing my mind.

When I was by your side, I started to dream of a different life, a life that had you at all times and in all aspects. But, as you may have already noticed, I chose my first dream.

I know I won't regret it. I can't afford to regret it. You’ll become who you always wanted to be and I’ll be there to give you a standing ovation. Not there, next to you, but from afar.

yn 

“That was Sunday Morning, by Hong Joshua. Ah, whenever I hear this song I remember my college days. I've said this here a few times, and I think I sound like a broken record by this point, but Joshua and I went to the same college and he was always singing this song in the hallways. Any small gathering between friends he would pull out the guitar and sing. So I'm sorry, but you're going to have to listen to this song at least once a week for the next year. Or until he releases the next one.”

Seokmin looked at the monitor to his right as a pre-recorded commercial for the next show started. The comments were going up too quickly, which made reading them an almost impossible mission.

On the other side of the glass, Chan made a sign indicating that the commercial was over. Seokmin looked at his friend as he lowered one finger after another and finally pointed at him. Chan placed a sheet of paper, which was always used, against the glass, which said “last, chat”. Indicating that he still had one more question to answer.

“We have time for one more question” Seokmin said, opening the internal chat he used with the other radio employees and read the question that Chan had sent “I ended a relationship of almost four years a few months ago, but I still can't understand what happened. I haven't even returned his things yet. How do I get in touch saying I want to return it?”

Seokmin swallowed. He knew that Chan hadn't done it on purpose, that he had no way of knowing everything that had happened between him and you, but he hated how much the question resonated in his head. It was a feeling he shared and for him it had been a little worse because you lived together during your last year of college. So when he entered the house and saw all the furniture, the decorations, your clothes still in the closet, it was like entering a time machine. In that 30 square meter space, for a few minutes, you still hadn't left.

He took a deep breath, away from the microphone so the sound wouldn't be picked, and leaned forward.

“It's a difficult question, really. If it's been a few months and he still hasn't picked his things up, it's because he doesn't need them, so I don't think you should bother contacting him. Hmmm”

He bit his lip and rested his elbows on the table, thinking if he should continue talking or if it would be better to stop there. Seokmin always thought it was better not to let personal feelings show on the radio, but he had moments when he couldn't follow his own rules.

“I can tell you from experience that sometimes silence is better. Because if you know the truth, it could hurt you even more. When I was in a similar situation, after a while I simply discarded the person's belongings. At first, it will be difficult, because you’ll see that shirt you gave as a gift, that letter you wrote and remember what it meant, the moment you gave those things to him. But little by little you will achieve it. Don't feel obligated to just move on when you're not ready. People will always tell you that it's about time, that it's been so many weeks or months. You’re the one who knows about your feelings.”

Chan knocked on the glass again, almost desperate because Seokmin's answer had been too long. It wasn't the first time he had gotten lost in what he was saying and maybe had been talking in circles. It always happened that he remembered you when he answered a question.

And in that specific question he was being a hypocrite because he knew that if he opened his closet, deep inside it, he would find at least two boxes full of your things hidden. He rarely went near those boxes, he liked to pretend they didn't exist and most days he managed to achieve that thought. But there were other days…

“So we come to the end of another Cupid's Corner with Minnie. See you again next week. Cupid’s Corner with Minnie: Unveiling Love’s Melody, One Relationship at a Time!”

Seokmin removed his headphones, stood up, and waved at the cameras he knew were pointed at him. He grabbed his phone and the bottle of water he always carried with him. The red light above the door finally went out and Seokmin left the studio.

Immediately, Chan appeared beside him. He had just gone blond, and it strangely suited him.

He knew the youngest was desperate, not that he was doing a good job of hiding it. The disheveled hair, pointing in all directions, also helped a lot.

“You’re going to have a heart attack if you continue like this” Seokmin said laughing.

Chan was the newest employee, handpicked by Seokmin a few months before. Seokmin needed someone to help him organize the broadcasts after his previous assistant quit because she had gotten a job in the field she had studied. Seokmin even talked to her and offered a higher salary that would come out of his own pocket, but nothing seemed to help. Not that he blamed her, in her place he would have done the same thing. But in the position he was in, changes made him uncomfortable so he did what he could to make sure everything stayed the same.

Maybe it was trauma.

“It’s because they yell at me, not you.”

One of the reasons Seokmin chose Chan as his new assistant was his sincerity. In the middle of the interview he “I think there are things in your program that need to change” and started listing things that he thought were dated or ideas that had been used too much and therefore didn't have the same effect on listeners. The others had found him presumptuous as if he wanted to know more than those who worked at the radio. Seokmin disagreed and that's how Chan got the job.

“They yell at you because you’re the new guy, no one yelled at Jiah”

Chan made a sound in the back of his throat, like a scoff.

“That's because everyone was afraid of her” Seokmin rolled his eyes and reached for the folder Chan was carrying “Oh, right. Tomorrow is your lecture for the communication classes, but they said it is possible that students from other courses will also be there, because it’llll be in the auditorium”

Seokmin nodded, reading the guidelines Chan had made. He needed to admit that he was organized and had absolute control over everything he did. He was sure that if he asked about Wonwoo's program, Chan would know how to answer as if he worked directly with him.

“You know how it is, I have fans” Chan pretended to vomit “If you go tomorrow, we’ll go out to dinner later, I’ll pay”

"Deal"

Seokmin always found it strange to be called to give lectures at the college where he studied. He wasn't a teacher and he didn't think he had done enough to be someone who could give advice to someone. In fact, Seokmin was sure he hadn't done anything big. His life, to put it very simply, was flat. At least, almost all of his life.

Seokmin has always been the type of guy who makes plans and follows through on those plans. When he was sixteen he got it into his head that he wanted to work in radio. It wasn't without reasons, of course. He joined the school radio and despite doing very little, because the school director had to know everything that would be done, even the nouns he would use in the sentence, he fell in love with the idea. That's why he decided he should study journalism in college, that way even if his radio career didn't work out, he would still have a profession.

But his dream was to work on a radio, to have his own program. So that's what he did.

He entered college as planned, sunk into student debt, and graduated exactly as he had planned. In his last semester, he got an internship at the biggest radio station in the country. He was on cloud nine. It was as if he had received the green light in life and everything was on the right track.

At least that's what he thought. At least that was what he had forced himself to believe. The internship became a permanent position and one day he just happened to be in the right place at the right time. That's why he never felt prepared to give anyone advice. Despite having decided on the career he wanted to pursue, he knew that he also needed to count on a little luck and help. The only words he could offer were “you work hard, study, make contacts, and throw the rest into luck’s hands”. It wasn't the kind of thing he wanted to hear when he was a student looking forward to the future, so he certainly wouldn't say it to anyone.

However, Chan convinced him that it would be a good idea to give the talk.

“You’re going to tell me how you got here, that’s all. An unknown face who quickly went on air to cover someone for one of the most beloved radio broadcasters in the country. I'm sure if you say that shit fell on your head, they'll like it” Chan had said laughing.

Overall the lecture went very well. Better than expected. He answered the questions as honestly as possible and used his best smile to get rid of the more awkward questions.

Despite the good day, he knew he didn't want to repeat the dose anytime soon.

“They want to know if you would be willing to do one of these a semester” Chan whispered because he knew the answer Seokmin would give, so it was better for the students not to hear.

“No” was all Seokmin said “But I’ll still buy you dinner”

Chan punched the air in celebration, catching the eyes of those around him, but he seemed to care very little.

"I just…"

What Seokmin was about to say, an announcement that he needed to go to the bathroom, died in his throat as he looked straight ahead.

Letter #2

Seokmin,

I thought I would be able to adapt faster here. It was very hard in the beginning with transport, getting around in general was very difficult. So I chose a weekend and went walking around the neighborhood where I live. I don't know how long I'll stay here, but I thought I should check it out. Besides, I can wake up in the middle of the night and decide that I want to eat something that I don't have at home, so it's good to know if there are any stores or markets that open in the middle of the night (in this neighborhood there aren't any, maybe that's why I won’t stay here).

I discovered that going out there, although productive, wasn't such a good idea. Nothing wrong happened, I didn't get hit on or someone was rude to me. Quite the contrary, most people pretended they weren't even seeing me. The problem was that everything made me think about you.

I walked by the store that sold a lot of random old things and decided to go in. You know I love filling the house with trinkets. I didn't find anything there that I liked, but I saw that they were selling camera films. For a moment I forgot everything that had happened and all I could think was, I think Seokmin is running out of film, I need to buy more because he will only realize when he doesn't have any left.

I bought it and brought it to the apartment. I opened the door and called your name. It was only later, when I noticed where I was, that it wasn't our apartment, that I realized what I had done.

Even without meaning to, even when I try not to, I find myself looking for you. Everywhere. I go to a restaurant and think about what you would like to eat, I see a dog on the street and I imagine you bending down to pet it. It's not on purpose, I just can't help it. I try, but it's in vain.

I wonder if it will pass. Will this feeling that I succeeded in my career but ruined my personal life disappear or will I feel like this forever — or at least for a good few years?

yn.

It was as if all the air had been ripped from your lungs and there was no way in the world to get you to breathe.

Somehow, some way, Seokmin was standing in front of you, in the middle of the college hallway.

For a moment it was as if you had been transported back in time, to when you were still 22 years old. In another moment you would have simply run up to him and thrown yourself into his arms as if you hadn't spent the whole night clinging to him, as if you hadn't seen each other before classes, as if you hadn't shared the smallest space in the world on the subway for 20 minutes. And your body seemed to remember all of this, like some kind of muscle memory, because you felt like you were being projected forward. Towards him.

You thought Seokmin would talk to you, you were sure he would. But you saw the way his gaze changed, the way it went from complete surprise to a hard look, completely different from anything you had ever seen from him.

In your memory, Seokmin was always brilliant and was always willing to welcome everyone with open arms, even when he felt more shy. You didn’t understand, that look he gave you was completely different from what you imagined could happen.

When you made the decision to return, you knew that there was a possibility of meeting Seokmin, no matter how small it was. You didn't know if he was still friends with the same people, if he still kept in touch with them. You certainly hadn't kept in touch with anyone - except for the two times you talked to Joshua. The possibility existed, but being realistic you knew it was as big as winning the lottery.

Of all the places you thought you could find Seokmin, college was the last one and maybe that was even why you accepted the job. When you were taking the last tests, the ones that would say whether you would graduate at the end of the semester or not, Seokmin was categorical in saying that he would never set foot inside college again. So you thought it was a place he would never go, but there he was. And in your first week, when you needed everything to go well. Not to show that you were ready and that you could do the job, but to reassure yourself that you had made the right choice in accepting the job.

You didn't have time to decide whether to talk to him or not. Seokmin made the decision for both of you. He continued walking as if you weren't there, talking to the boy next to him, laughing. The only indication that he knew who you were was silent once and one that only you could distinguish.

He turned around and left as if nothing had happened.

Was it possible that only you had felt that way? That just your heart had decided it didn't know how to beat, as if a storm was raging inside your body?

You didn't have time to analyze what had just happened. You just forced yourself to take a deep breath and also keep walking as if those brief seconds weren't enough to make your entire world turn completely upside down.

Seokmin dragged his feet into the room, tripping over the rug at the foot of the bed. A curse came out of his mouth, followed by a burp. When he invited Chan to dinner he had no intention of ending the night drunk, being carried home like someone who had just had his first drink.

It had been years since he had gotten that bad and it was comical that the previous occasion was also connected to you.

The memory of leaving you at the airport, on a flight in the middle of the night, was still vivid in Seokmin's mind. Worse than that memory, was the one of you telling him that you had gotten a place in a master's degree on the other side of the world, 18 hours before leaving the country.

“I need to tell you something” you said as he pulled his coat over his head and patted his pockets, making sure he had grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone. He needed to leave as quickly as possible, he was already late.

Seokmin had plans to ask you to marry him. He had rented a house where you could spend the weekend, where it would be possible to see the stars. He had prepared himself, but he needed to leave right that second so he would have enough time to go to the house, get everything ready and come back to get you. The owner of the house would help him, since Seokmin decided that he wouldn't tell any of his friends because they might just ruin the surprise.

“I'm already late” he said, quickly looking at his watch. "Did something happen?"

He asked, noticing your already somewhat desperate look. He knew that whatever had happened couldn't be good.

To be honest, he had noticed that something was wrong a few weeks before, and for a while, he decided it would be better not to get into it too much. He knew you well enough to know that you would offer the information when you felt ready to do so. But thinking back on everything, he wished he had asked before, he wished he hadn't given you space, he wished he had forced you to talk to him sooner.

“I passed my master’s degree abroad”

Seokmin’s first reaction was to be happy for you. He knew how much you wanted that, that it was your dream. So he did what any boyfriend would do, he hugged you and congratulated you, told you that you had tried so hard and that they would be idiots not to accept you. The feeling was true and his smile was genuine. He was happy for you.

Knowing what he knew, every now and then Seokmin wondered if he would have done anything differently if he knew what the next words would be out of your mouth. He could have made a fuss, he could have begged you to stay, he could have offered to go with you. But at the time he didn't do any of that.

“I’m leaving today, I need to be at the airport at 11 pm”

Seokmin's ears rang deafeningly. It was as if he had been punched and needed to brace himself against something. The sofa was the closest piece of furniture.

He thought he heard it wrong, he wished he was dreaming, but all he had to do was look at you. It was true. It was as if a puzzle was being completed in Seokmin's mind. The way you had suddenly become distant, how every time he entered the room you hurried to change or close whatever you were looking at on the computer. He didn't even know you signed up. He imagined that you must have done some kind of test, some interview and he didn't even know anything about it.

He had no idea.

Had he been a bad boyfriend, someone who was so focused on making the long-awaited proposal that he had ignored everything else? Or had you hidden it so well that he hadn't noticed?

"What? You’re leaving today?"

It was like the world was spinning too fast and he was trying to keep up with what was happening. It was like being on a roller coaster that kept on falling. He remembered well how the little box with the ring he had carefully chosen weighed in his pocket.

“I didn’t even know you had applied for a position” he whispered, almost just to himself “You didn’t tell me”

And it was at that exact moment, when he looked at you, that Seokmin realized that your relationship was over. You avoided looking at him, your hands were buried deep in the pockets of your coat, which was his. He saw your eyes fill with tears, you swallow hard, and remain silent.

It was unlike you, to stay quiet when you had too many things going through your head. He desperately wanted you to talk to him, to tell him what had been going through your head. He just wanted to understand. Did you believe he would somehow stop you from going? If there was one thing he knew about you, it was the fact that you always put your education first. It wasn't a secret and you didn't want it to be. He just didn't expect things to happen that way.

Seokmin sat in front of the closet, on the floor, and with difficulty opened the doors. Deep in the back, behind several shoe boxes, were two old boxes that he hadn't moved in years. Part of him wished the things inside the boxes were ruined, that they had mold and anything else that could ruin its content. But he had been careful, kept everything in order, taken all necessary precautions, and cleaned the closet periodically.

He ignored the first box and pulled the smaller one towards him, placing it on his bent legs. Seokmin wasn't one to revisit those memories, he liked to keep them as far away from him as possible, but on nights like those, it was impossible.

Seokmin knew what he would find and was sure how he would feel, but he still took the lid off the box, but he didn't dare take out any of the items inside it.

He knew he had reached his lowest point when he was holding on to memories he had of you and not focusing on what was actually happening in his life.

Letter #3

Seokmin,

I talked to Joshua today. Talk is a bit too strong of a word. We exchanged a few words on Instagram. He posted a photo and I liked it, he sent me a DM asking if I was ok and how things were going. I lied, of course. He said everything was fine and he was happy. He didn't talk about you and I didn't ask.

It was very hard to contain myself. I want to know how you are. The more selfish part of my brain wants you to be just as bad as I feel. You know that little demon that sits on our shoulder? He assures me you're even worse. And I hate to think that's the case, but at the same time, I'm sure you're not okay. I know you, we dated for four years, we lived together for almost two years

You were always the more emotional one of the two of us. You were never afraid to show your feelings, not for me or anyone else. You always loved so openly, without any fear. I admit that at first, it scared me a little.

I was an 18-year-old girl who came from a family that had no idea how to show affection, so I was always more reserved in that aspect. And there you were with your beautiful, bright smile, with open arms, affectionate with anyone who came along. I thought you were a crazy person who didn't have the slightest notion of the world. It took a while for me to realize that your world was brighter than mine in ways I couldn't understand.

You were always so untethered, free, showing yourself to anyone who had eyes. When I was closed and more reclusive, you were open and expansive. When I was very shy or reserved, you were more charming and brighter than usual. Not even my worst mood, which seemed endless at times, was a problem for you.

One day you just showed up and decided that you would stay by my side, no matter what. Believe me when I say, I tried to push you away. But with each passing day you were further under my skin.

A kiss at a random party turned into a date at every party, parties became meetings at the college library, which led to coffee dates. One day you decided at the end of each date you had to take me back to the dorms and you kissed me for a long time on the side of the building where no one could see — or at least I made myself believe no one did. Then that alone wasn't enough and you were always with your fingers intertwined with mine, or your arm around my waist. And kisses were no longer reserved for empty streets, of course not. You kissed me anywhere, anytime, no matter who was watching.

You were sneaky, Seokmin.

When I realized it, I was in love with you. Your arms were my refuge. You were my safe space. My home.

yn.

You hated that Seokmin’s reaction, or lack thereof, had gotten to you so much. It was like being punched, and then one more, soon the punch became a beating and to finish with a flourish, it was as if a truck had run over you.

You had plans to go out at the weekend, though alone. Everything was so different, the places you knew no longer existed and friends from the past no longer spoke to you. You would have to rediscover the city without anyone's help. Despite your plans, you couldn't bring yourself to leave the house.

When you decided to return, you knew there would be no way to escape Seokmin. He had become successful not only in his career as a broadcaster but also as a celebrity of sorts. You never imagined you would see his face in magazines or on billboards selling fried chicken. You didn't expect that when you turned on the TV you would see his face in different programs.

In fact, you knew all of that was happening, but somehow you managed to convince yourself that you wouldn't have to see any of it. You managed to make yourself believe that you would not be haunted by his images and voice.

When you were away, you always listened to his programs, more than once each one, but it was almost like a relationship between fan and celebrity. You could separate very well what was him and what was you. But being there, in the same country, in the same city, it was much more difficult to make that separation.

Because once you were back, Seokmin was no longer just the radio host with a show about relationships. Far from it. Seokmin was your college sweetheart, the guy whose heart you broke but who, even after seven years, was still in love with.

That was the reality. you were still in love with him. There was no relationship in the world, no man in the world, that would have made you forget about Seokmin. Sometimes it worked, sometimes you managed to forget about him for a few months and that feeling of loss, of emptiness, that had settled deep inside your heart became smaller and smaller. And then it would come back full on as if it had never left.

Maybe that was your curse, your punishment for leaving behind someone you could have spent the rest of your life with. And somehow you knew you would have been happy. Or at least a different kind of happiness.

After spending the weekend holed up inside your apartment, after convincing yourself that you needed to prepare for teaching classes and unpacking the move, she decided that on Tuesday night she would explore the city.

Exploring wasn't the right word. You had discovered that one of your favorite restaurants still existed, it had just changed location. And, despite being on the other side of the city and being completely aware that you would have to pay a fortune for a taxi or risk taking the subway alone almost at closing time, you decided to go anyway.

You needed to feel like one thing hadn't changed, or at least still be recognizable.

You heard your name being called a few minutes after sitting down. You raised your head, recognizing the voice, but couldn't tell who it belonged to. Directly in front of you was a woman, with short hair, in her fifties.

“It’s really you!”

You stood up and a second later you were being hugged. Maybe you had gone there for that reason, knowing that there would be someone there who would recognize you. Or at least you hoped there was. And when you were welcomed with open arms by her owner, Niah, you wanted to cry for the first time in a long time.

“Hi” was all you could offer, your voice weak.

You quickly turned your face away, trying to be discreet as you wiped away your tears. The last thing you wanted was to cry in front of someone else. Tears were reserved for dark moments in the silence of your apartment, they weren't meant to be seen by people you didn't even know in a crowded restaurant.

“Look how beautiful you look. You haven't been around for so long. Seokmin told us that you had gone abroad to study, but I thought you would come back sooner.”

You just managed to smile, even though it was embarrassing. It was strange to hear his name coming out of someone else's mouth so easily. For years, his name was just an echo in your own mind, almost as if it were a fantasy of yours.

There were days when you managed to convince yourself of this, that Seokmin was nothing more than a dream.

“Are you just visiting or are you back to stay?”

“I'm staying” you said after a second, when you managed to find your voice again “I got a job here, I have nowhere to run”

Niah laughed and hugged you once again, tighter this time.

"Great, that makes me happy. We always miss you” Niah smiled and ran her fingers down your cheeks, brushing away some tears that were stubborn to fall “What do you want to eat? Today it's on the house. Consider it a welcome gift.”

You took a deep breath, swallowing the lump in your throat and the remaining tears.

"What do you recommend?"

The amazing thing about meeting Niah again was that she still acted exactly the same way. She didn't see you as someone who had simply packed a suitcase of clothes and left the country overnight. To Niah you were still that same person from 7 years ago who ate whatever she put in front of. You and Seokmin were always guinea pigs for all the new recipes.

The food was still wonderful, if anything it had just gotten better.

You had a fork halfway to your mouth when you heard the door open, the sound of the bell indicating the entry of a new customer. You almost instinctively turned to look. You choked on your own saliva when your eyes met Seokmin's.

It was as if you were back in the hallway that day. Your heart simply stopped, and the world fell into suspension. For a moment, it was as if you had been transported to the past. You were almost certain that if you looked at the table you would see books open next to the cutlery; you knew that if you looked at Seokmin for another second or two his face would break into the most beautiful smile, he would wave and call your name.

But your illusion shattered into small pieces as his neutral expression contorted into a frown. With the same foot he entered he turned to leave.

“Seokmin!” you called him, getting up from your chair.

Part of you thought he was going to continue out the door, but he stopped. Half of his body was outside the restaurant, the other inside.

“Hurry up and close that door!” Niah said leaving the kitchen “You’re letting out all the heat”

Even with Niah's voice calling him, Seokmin remained standing at the door. You sat back down, but without taking your eyes off him. He didn't know what he expected of him, but he felt an indescribable relief when Niah pulled him by the sleeve of his coat and forced him to sit in front of you.

“The restaurant is packed, so you will have to share a table” she said as she turned her back.

Seokmin shook his head, clearly against sitting there, staying in the restaurant, but he still took off his coat and hung it on the chair before leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

It was clear he was working out, his shoulders had gotten broader and his arms bigger since you last saw each other. You almost laughed at the pose, remembering all the times you had seen him in a similar situation. But this wasn't the time to laugh when everything else was screaming that he was uncomfortable with the situation, that he didn't want to be there.

It didn't take a genius to know that Seokmin wanted nothing to do with you. His reaction to seeing you in the hallway the week before and the way he was looking at you in that moment were enough answers.

You felt like the walls were closing in around you and there wasn't enough air in the room.

What were you thinking when you called his name? What were you thinking when you silently watched Niah pull him inside? Why were you still sitting there?

A waiter who worked with Niah passed by your table and you called him discreetly, not wanting to attract the attention of the restaurant owner.

“Can you wrap everything to go, please?” you turned to Seokmin “You can have the table. I was already leaving”

It was a lie, but he didn't need to know that.

Seokmin laughed lowly, scornfully, his sideways smile making the hair on your arms stand on end. In general, Seokmin has always been the type of guy who didn’t lose his cool easily, who would always rather let things go than have any kind of confrontation. But when he really got stressed out or nervous, it took a while for him to calm down again.

You had seen that storm in his eyes very few times in the years you spent together. The last one was when he went to the airport to say goodbye to you. That day the storm was just confusion and pain, you knew you had done that to him. But he sat there in the restaurant, in front of you, in silence while the people around him chatted animatedly, completely oblivious to what was happening between the two of you.

"What it was?" you rolled your eyes.

“Ah, nothing” he said, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture “It’s just like you to do that”

You narrowed your eyes at the same time you felt your cheeks get hot.

"Do what?"

"Runaway"

Letter #4

Seokmin, 

It took me almost a year to convince myself that it was okay for me to look at social media. I convinced myself that every woman does this, that every now and then we look at our ex-boyfriend's Instagram, just to find out if his new girlfriend is ugly. I've told you this several times, but every female experience is universal.

I wish you were one of those low profile people, who post a picture every 6 months and it's a cut mango on a pretty plate. I wish you hadn't posted so many pictures. But more than anything, I wish I hadn't spent hours and hours looking at the photos. I wish I hadn't been analyzing every photo of you, I wish I hadn't thought “that's a new mole” and wondered which others had appeared since the last time we saw each other.

I had memorized every mole of yours. On your face, on your arms, on your back. On the worst days, when I missed you in a way that almost made me give up everything and go home, I kept remembering each one of them. I tried to remember the sound of your laugh, your voice, how you stroked my hair until I fell asleep when it wasn't a good day.

I keep wondering if one day this feeling will just go away.

It's been a year since I left. I went out with other guys, and I almost dated one of them, but you're always there in the back of my mind, almost comically because even against my will I can't help but compare them to you. I can't help but think that only you know how I like my coffee, how only you know that if I'm in my worst mood, there's no joke in the world that can make me laugh.

I know it's not fair to them. I gave you the chance to get to know me, I allowed you to get closer. I wanted you to come closer to me. Now I wonder if you're doing this for someone other than me.

I like to imagine that you also compare other women to me, that even now that you're dating I stay there, in the back of your mind, making fun of you.

Unfortunately, she's not ugly, but your smile was brighter when I was next to you.

yn.

To say that Seokmin had spent the rest of the week in an envious mood was an understatement. He was stressed and everyone around him soon noticed the change. He really tried not to let his personal life get in the way of his work. It was something he never struggled with. Work was work, what happened when the lights went out and he left the radio should never cross paths with each other. That week, however, it was impossible.

Meeting you at the restaurant caught him off guard. That day in the college hallway had been difficult, but he managed to just keep walking as if nothing had happened. He liked to pretend like he hadn't gone out with Chan right after and drank like there was no tomorrow, like he hadn't opened the boxes he had kept for years and cried while looking at the photos of the two of you together.

He had gone to the restaurant that day because he needed some form of comfort and didn't want to call any of his friends because he knew he would end up telling them everything that happened and would receive advice and words he would rather not hear. The restaurant was the best idea he had. Or maybe the worst possible one.

Maybe he had done it consciously, because he wanted to see you one more time, and wanted to make sure he hadn't imagined you. It wouldn't have been the first time.

In the first few months after you left, Seokmin got into the habit of visiting places he went with you, or places you liked to go alone. It was probably a form of torture, but he liked to imagine it was a way to forget and overcome the breakup. On several of those days, he believed he saw you. He realistically knew it wasn't you, he clearly remembered seeing you get on the plane and waited until it took off to leave the airport.

The worst thing that could have happened to him was you calling for him. Seokmin couldn't help but wonder if he had always reacted that way to you, if your presence was always so great that before he even saw you he knew you were nearby. That day, as soon as he opened the door, before he even saw you sitting there with your eyes wide open, he knew. He knew you were there.

The last thing he expected from you was you saying his name, as if asking him to sit with you, that Niah, knowing how the relationship had ended, would have made him sit in front of you.

Seokmin noticed your discomfort, the way your spine had become a little straighter, the way your eyes were hard and cautious at the same time. Your reaction made him angry. What right did you have to behave that way, as if you were hurt when all the decisions regarding a relationship both of you were in had been made by you?

You were the one who signed up for a master's degree abroad. It was you who never told him about your decision. It was you who kept everything secret, making him believe that the two of you were on the same page and that despite your different goals, you would be able to pursue them together.

Turns out he was wrong, those dreams were just his and didn't include him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Chan asked for the thousandth time.

For the first time in a long time, Seokmin was having a hard time hiding how he really felt. That polished, carefully carved mask had fallen. It was a completely atypical day and everyone was able to notice his sudden change in mood. Even Chan, who normally did a great job of ignoring all the problems around him and focusing solely on his work, seemed to be walking on eggshells around him.

“It’s really obvious, isn’t it?” Seokmin asked in a low voice and Chan just nodded "And if I pretend it's because of the new segment, will anyone believe it?"

Again, Chan nodded. Since he had started the program, 3 years before, Seokmin would receive calls and speak directly to listeners. Although there were always interactions, those were always done through live chat and email when he received questions or stories from people who were not listening to the program when it was airing.

Seokmin wasn't nervous about the idea, he was actually excited. Chan knew this and knew that whatever the problem was, it was still the same as the day of the lecture. He didn't want to ask, and he didn't want to seem invasive, but he still wanted to make sure Seokmin was okay — or at least, well enough to do the program.

“I think everyone is already thinking that” was a lie and even Seokmin knew it, but he was grateful.

“You may already know this, but today we will start a new segment. We'll call it the heart to heart helpline, at least until we find a better name at least” Seokmin's voice and laugh resonated through the taxi “We'll take your calls and some of you will be able to talk to me and ask your questions live, instead of by chat. Each person will have a maximum of 2 minutes and we will answer 6 calls today”

You had left the house completely willing to avoid anything related to Seokmin. Realistically, you knew you couldn't do anything about the billboards and his face at bus stops, but you could very well avoid his radio show. And for a few weeks you had managed to do just that.

That day at the restaurant had almost been a cathartic moment. Somehow, it was as if something had clicked and fallen into place. The Seokmin you left behind no longer existed. It had been a naive thought to think so. You didn't expect that he would still be exactly the same person, of course not. Seven years had passed and Seokmin, like you, was approaching his thirties. Obviously, many things had changed, but you still expected to see traces of that 22-year-old boy you had known and loved.

You didn't spend more than five minutes with him at that table. And it was much more than enough. He had accused you of running away, of continuing to do this for years. Of course, that could be his view on everything, but it was never your intention. The only problem was that you hadn't been able to tell him those things. You had been so lost and so completely helpless in front of him that you had forgotten that you knew how to speak and form sentences.

You had spent years of your life writing letters to him, letters that he would never read, but that was beside the point. You wrote letters as a way to appease the emptiness you felt in your heart. You never, not for a second, thought you were running away. You never wanted to run away, but Seokmin seemed to believe you did.

In a sudden burst of anger, you took your phone out of your bag and dialed the number Seokmin spoke on the radio. You didn't expect your call to go through. In fact, you didn't even know what you expected.

“Please wait a minute, we will connect your call” a non-robotic voice said as you paid for the taxi.

Seokmin was still chatting animatedly with a listener who didn't have a real question, but who “just wanted to say that I really liked your show and that I’m a fan.” It was impossible not to roll your eyes. If she, and everyone else, knew how much of a complete asshole he could be just because he had the opportunity, they would never want to see his face again.

Or maybe they would team up against you in favor of the immaculate Seokmin. God knew how easily a man could turn public opinion in his favor with a beautiful smile. And God was also a witness that Seokmin's smile was simply wonderful, one that took your breath away, one that made you smile along because it was contagious.

“Welcome to the heart to heart helpline” Seokmin’s voice sounded in your ear “What’s your question?”

You didn't really think that your call would get through to Seokmin, you didn't think the signal would be good enough inside the elevator, but none of that seemed to be a problem.

“Hello, can you hear me?” he asked.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You knew you were going really crazy, but you decided to throw caution out the window and be the crazy person everyone used to believe you were.

“Yes, I’m here” you could have sworn, that even over the phone, you felt Seokmin tense up “It’s a question about an old relationship, we broke up years ago, if that’s okay”

You struggled with your keys, trying to unlock the door as quickly as possible. You needed to get to your computer or tablet, whichever was closer. It was almost a physical necessity to see Seokmin's reaction to your voice, your question.

You always knew how to tell if he was truly calm or if he was masking what he was feeling. You wanted to know if you still had any other sort of effect on him. Whatever it was, it was better than angry disdain.

“Old relationships should stay in the past, don’t you think?” he finally said.

You nodded as you ran into your room. You knew you would find the tablet under your pillow — you were sure that if your mother saw it she would say that your brain would explode due to the radiation from the device. With a few taps, you opened the stream of Seokmin's program.

“I think so. But the problem is that we keep seeing each other. I don’t think it’s something either of us want, but it seems inevitable.”

You turned the sound off, you just wanted to focus on his reactions. Seokmin swallowed hard, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes fixed on the microphone in front of him. To anyone, it just seemed like he was concentrating on the call, on what the person on the other end of the line had to say, but you knew very well that it was to hide his reactions.

"Your question?"

“Well, he called me selfish and said I ran away when we broke up, but that's not exactly what happened. I wanted to talk to him, but I don’t think he wants to listen to me.”

Seokmin took a deep breath and seemed to think about what to say next, his eyes no longer on the microphone, but on the ceiling.

“And why does he think that about you? You probably gave him reasons, don't you think? I don’t think anyone would think that about someone without anything having happened.”

“I always dreamed of studying abroad, so when the opportunity came, I went. I…"

“Did you tell him you were going?” Seokmin clenched his fists on the desk, his fingers gripped the pen in his hand tightly until his knuckles were white. “Did you give him a chance to say something or did you just walk away?”

You were speechless, eyes focused only on Seokmin. The way his hair perfectly framed his face, his sculpted thin nose. He was still exactly like he was seven years ago, just somehow different. He was the same, but he also wasn't.

You hadn't given him the chance to say anything, you had just walked away, but because you believed it was the best thing to do. You would have stayed if he had asked, I would have aborted all of your plans for him,

“Long distance relationships don’t work” you said finally, your voice lower “especially when there’s an ocean separating people”

“I'm going to guess and say that you were together for a while because I don't think anyone would care that much about a quick relationship” his voice became more sober, completely in control of his emotions, the opposite of what you felt,  like you were enclosed every second that passed “I agree with you, long-distance relationships don’t work. Different cities are already complicated, I can't imagine what it would be like to be with someone who lives in another country. You didn't give many details, but I believe he had reasons to feel that way, just as you had your reasons for leaving without warning. I think the best thing for both of you is to let it fall into oblivion. It makes no sense for either of you to dwell on these feelings. Maybe your desire to talk exists because you think you've left things open with him, but he may think that what's in the past shouldn't be remembered. Maybe you're just a bad relationship he wants to forget.”

Letter #5

Seokmin

I found out by chance that you now have your own radio show. One day it was an empty slot in the schedule and the next it was your voice. To my joy and delight, it was one of those programs that also had video streaming. I say joy and delight in a very ironic way.

But I'm not lying when I say I'm happy for you. You always said it was your dream and in a way, here we are, achieving our dreams. It would have been better if we could have lived through this together, I think. Maybe if that were the case I wouldn't have this empty feeling inside my chest.

But I discovered a long time ago that I can't keep crying over spilled milk. I left and you moved on with your life. They were conscious choices, I knew what I was doing. I knew that making this choice would have hurt both of us, but I also knew that we could overcome it. It's just taking longer than expected. I honestly thought that by this point, so many years later, we would have been able to live as if the past were just that, the past.

But it's not like that for me or for you.

I may be completely crazy, but your show is about love advice and how to deal with heartbreak. Sometimes, when I hear you talk, I'm sure you've already dealt with all your feelings, after all, you've had other girlfriends. But there are other moments, when you answer a question or when you read one of the pre-written texts when I'm sure that what you said applies directly to what we both had.

I'm going crazy, aren't I?

It's been four years since I left. I already finished my master's degree and started my PhD, exactly as planned. I have a date tonight with a guy who seems genuinely nice, but here I am, writing yet another letter that will never be sent to the guy I was in love with.

What am I still doing?

yn

Seokmin had always believed that for a relationship to truly end there must be no trace of it anywhere. When he told his listeners that they should get rid of items, it was not a lie. He was just terrible at following his own advice. The old story of do as I say, not as I do.

Finally, he decided it was time to take his own advice. With a little pain and resentment added to the mix, of course. At this point, he wondered if he could already be considered a masochist or if he still had a few boxes to tick to get the title.

Getting your address had been easier than expected. All he had to do was ask Niah, who offered the information without any resistance.

“Being thirty didn't make either of you any smarter,” she said as she leaned across the table and wrote the address on the napkin.

“Almost thirty” he felt the need to correct her, but decided he would ignore the hidden message in her words.

Seokmin never stopped going to Niah's restaurant. It was there that he had cried his sorrows over the cheapest drinks possible, he didn't have the money to pay for the good ones, while Joshua tried to console him. He had never seen Niah so stressed and angry. She hadn't said anything, but you could clearly hear the sound of her cutting the vegetables more aggressively than necessary.

Little by little she became calmer about the situation and started talking about you with the same affection as before. Seokmin always thought she had somehow kept in touch with you, or at least found a way to get your number or a way to contact you. At first, he had been angry, but somehow he believed he didn't have that right. It was only after a year that Seokmin decided to ask and the answer he received was “if I still had contact with her, I would have already screamed at her about disappearing without telling anyone”.

Asking Niah for your address was the only option he had. He refused to go to college, where you worked. He didn't know what would happen, whether you would be friendly with each other or the conversation would end in a shouting match just because. Because after years of no contact and considering the way things ended, it was pretty obvious that resentment could resurface — at least Seokmin had resentment up to his neck and knew that not releasing them all at once required almost inhuman self-control. 

He looked at the building one more time before getting out of the car. It was one of those without a doorman. Seokmin knew that if he rang and asked to be let in, the probability of being sent to hell was very high. So he pulled up his cap down and covered as much of his face as he could while he balanced the boxes on his arms.

He stood there like a madman for almost twenty minutes until someone finally left the building. Seokmin felt like he was committing a crime when he slipped through the door before it closed. Even though the feeling was strange he made himself believe it was the only option he had and he really didn't have any bad intentions. He just wanted to return your things and, hopefully, arrange that if you ever met again, you’d simply pretend you don't know each other, instead of talking nonsense to each other.

Seokmin took a deep breath once before knocking on the door. He heard footsteps and a second later the door opened.

When you imagined what your Wednesday night would be like, the only option that crossed your mind was to order a pizza and watch a movie — the random option of Netflix seemed like your best friend and the only possible option because you weren't even able to choose what to watch by yourself.

Not even in your wildest daydreams could you have imagined that Seokmin would show up at your door with two boxes in his hand.

You were partially tempted to close the door on his face, but you knew that doing so would only make the whole situation worse. If Seokmin, who clearly didn't have any good feelings about you, was standing there at your door it was because he had something to say. Or more precisely to hand it over to you, considering the boxes in his arms.

Silently you stepped aside so he had enough room to enter. You wanted to slap yourself for the complete war zone that your living room was in. You were still unpacking the moving boxes, not that you had taken much with you. It was too expensive to send things from one country to another, especially furniture. You had only focused on your clothes and books and a few things you wanted to keep, and that alone was more than you were willing to spend. In addition to the boxes, you had all the things you still had to buy, but you still didn't have the mind to do it.

You had so much going through your head that cleaning the apartment was just another task you wanted to avoid. But it was one that could be left for later. In the few minutes that Seokmin spent there, you wished you had tidied it up, that he hadn't seen how that room represented your life at that moment: a complete mess.

"What are you doing here?" you finally asked when you managed to get your vocal cords to work properly.

Seokmin didn't seem to care about the mess but paid attention to everything else around him.

He placed the boxes on the counter and took off his cap, pressing the brims with his fingertips looking for what to say next. He had rehearsed an almost poetic speech in the car, something about being adults and how your relationship had ended a long time ago, so neither of you should have any regrets left. But the moment you opened the door and looked at him it was as if all the words had simply evaporated from his mind, as if he had never learned to speak in the first place.

It had always been that way with you. Sometimes when he looked at you, even when you were still together, he got lost. He was like a man adrift who had finally found solid land. It was as if he heard a click and the world started to move once again.

One of his favorite things, when you were dating and living together, was being able to come home after an exhausting day and see you sitting on the sofa in the living room, your computer on your lap, while you studied, occasionally shouting profanities at the computer. On those days, Seokmin would simply push the computer away and lay his head on your lap.

“Just five minutes” he used to say with his eyes closed.

You’d laugh, fingers immediately running through his hair, as if it was the most natural movement in the world.

“Who do you want me to insult today? You know my vocabulary is very colorful.”

How many times had he slept in that position, without meaning to, and you had to drag him to bed because “it's comfortable for you, but my legs are numb and you have to take a shower, you won't sleep dirty next to me, sir”.

It was impossible not to wonder where it all went wrong.

“I came to return your things” he pointed at the boxes.

You suppressed the urge to bend down and rummage through the boxes. You wanted to know what he had kept, what he considered important enough to keep for so many years. You knew he no longer lived in the apartment you shared. When you were looking for apartments you saw that that one was up for rent. It was necessary to restrain yourself from choosing it. It wasn't a good apartment, at least not at the time — the photos on the website said the property had undergone renovations two years earlier and had no tenants since. It wasn't big, it barely fit one person, but it was what your extremely limited budget could afford at the time. Somehow you and Seokmin turned that small space into a home full of life. Of love.

In the places where you lived, you bought all kinds of trinkets to fill the space, furniture you didn't need and never used, hoping to imitate, for even a second, the feeling you had in that little 35 square meter apartment.

You never quite managed to do that.

“Thank you” you said sincerely “I thought all my things had gone in the trash”

You laughed and Seokmin squeezed the back of his head and pointed at the boxes.

“I sold what I could, I didn't want to put it in storage because I really thought we would never see each other again. The money is in an envelope”

“Why did you keep all this?” the words came out of your mouth before you could stop yourself “You should have thrown it away or, since you sold it, you should have spent the money”

Seokmin had asked himself that question several times before, sober or not, and he never had an answer. After a while, he simply stopped questioning and accepted it as something he had to do, to have some kind of sanity. It didn’t. Knowing that those boxes were inside his wardrobe, having to go through them the two times he moved, only brought back memories that he would like to forget.

Ever since you had seen each other again for the first time, memories that Seokmin had struggled to bury came to the surface as if they had just happened. He started to dream about you, dreams that range from memories to things that never actually happened, he started to wonder if it would be okay to talk with someone. His brain always screamed NO, so he was stuck just dreaming.

“I don’t have a good enough reason. It is what it is, I guess,” he said.

The last time Seokmin felt so embarrassed around you was right when you met and even then it only lasted a few minutes. The 18 year old Seokmin was much braver than the 29 year old man in front of him.

That boy, without any guilt or remorse, would have asked every question that could cross his mind. You’d say “your mind is beautiful, it even echoes sometimes”. Seokmin wanted to still have some of that boy's strength. Maybe that was the only way to know what he wanted. He wouldn't ask and he knew you wouldn't offer the information to him without being pressured.

“I think in the end, we both got what we wanted.”

You realized you said the wrong thing when you looked at Seokmin’s hands. A second before he was clutching his cap until his knuckles turned white, the next his long fingers were still. You didn't want to see the expression on his face. You knew what you’d find. You messed up, but couldn’t take back what you said.

“You got what you wanted” Seokmin corrected you, his voice firm, his tone hard.

“You always wanted to have a radio show”

“No, I wanted you. I could adapt to everything else if it meant I would have you.”

You shook your head. You knew it wasn't true. Hell, even Seokmin knew it wasn’t true. The first time you talked, Seokmin mentioned how much he wanted to be a radio host and have his own show, of any kind. I don't have a preference, I know I can give anything my own colors. You felt envious of his certainty, of the way he knew he could do it.

“The show has always been your dream” you tried again, despite knowing it was in vain to argue with him.

“My dream was to have a life by your side. You never, not once, told me that you signed up to study abroad, you never even mentioned it. When it was time to go you just got on a plane and disappeared. You never even gave me the chance to follow you. I could have been a journalist anywhere in the world”

Seokmin hated the direction of that conversation, hated being so exposed in front of you after so many years. In the past, it wasn't a problem. Before he wanted to be exposed in front of you, he wanted to share everything he was, every aspect of himself with you. No more. The problem was that he couldn't just stop. A gate was opened and there was no way to close it.

“So, what? Would we both be living based on our dreams? Because this is a dream, and you know it very well.”

You clung to the top rail of the chair, your head lolling forward in an almost futile attempt to stop him from seeing the tears forming in your eyes. You knew you couldn't hold them.

You weren't the type of person who cried often, you did what you could to avoid it, but when the tears came it was impossible to simply stop them from falling.

“Yeah, maybe I was really dreaming, because I believed that you loved me in the same proportion, but it’s quite obvious that you didn’t”

Seven years of pent-up frustration couldn't just disappear, he should have known. He should have imagined that going there would be a problem, that being in the same space as you without any kind of interference was a mistake. But he was still there and there was no way to escape. It was better to end everything quickly than to keep those feelings for another seven years in the hopes of one day being able to say something.

Seokmin watched as you went to one of the boxes in the corner of the room and opened it forcefully, tearing the cardboard, and causing some of the contents to slide across the floor. He felt his body freeze as a roll of film stopped at his feet.

“So explain to me, why do I buy a roll of film every time I pass by a store?” you put both hands inside the box and took out several rolls of film, of different brands and models. “Explain to me, why have I followed your career all this time and never missed a damn show in the last 3 years? Why would I wake up in the middle of the night to watch the broadcast and then listen to the show again while going to work because I just wanted to hear your voice?”

You walked to another box, but you opened this one a little more carefully as if wanting to protect the contents.

“Why did I spend 7 years writing letters that would never be read to a guy I never loved?”

You threw several envelopes at Seokmin’s chest. Your face and body shook out of anger or another feeling he couldn't quite tell.

Seokmin bent down to pick up one of the envelopes from the floor. His name was written in your careful handwriting. He didn't need to look at all the other ones to know that they were also addressed to him. He didn't know how many letters were scattered on the floor, or if there were any left in the box. The only thing he was sure of was that he had no idea how to proceed.

“If that doesn’t say I loved you, if that doesn’t say I still love you, I don’t know what the fuck does.”

Seokmin saw the first tear run down your face and fell silent. He knew he should turn his back, he knew he should walk away, just like you did seven years before. Instead, he took four steps in your direction, his eyes never left your heaving chest and the tears that ran freely over your cheeks. 

At that moment he knew that he only had two options: he could turn around and leave, he gave you back your things that alone made his plan a success; or he could kiss you like he had been wanting to since the moment he saw you again.

To hell with his plan.

Seokmin held your face in his hands and pulled you to him, crashing his lips on yours. It was an all too new feeling but also familiar, almost like coming to a remodeled home. It was him and it was you, if only it was just that simple. 

You sighed into him, your arms wrapping around his slim waist while your hand balled a fist full of his shirt. There were so many moments where you wished you could be right in that spot, again in his arms. Dreams and daydreams, wishful thinking, whatever you could call it. Thoughts of Seokmin had always been a constant in your mind. It was impossible not to compare other people you went out with to him. 

Your longest relationship had been one of almost a full year. Although the beginning had been good and easy, with you somehow managing to avoid any and all Seokmin related dreams and thoughts, it turned sour the second he crossed your mind.

“Seokmin, I…”

He shook his head and pressed his forehead to yours, eyes so intense that it was difficult to keep looking at him. 

“Let’s not overthink it, okay?” was all he said. 

You held his face for a couple, searching for something in his features, anything at all, that could indicate that the moment wasn’t for that. But all you saw in him was the same emotions you felt, the same need and desire. 

You pulled Seokmin to you again, this time hungrier, your chest pressed to his. Your mind was loud telling you all the reasons why you shouldn’t be doing that, why having him so close to you was truly the most dangerous situation you could possibly put yourself in. But all of those voices, all of those words and thoughts were silenced the moment he kissed you again. 

His lips were hungry, demanding all of you. And it was so easy to just give in to him, to his hands roaming on your body, down your back until he reached your ass. He gave it a light squeeze and ran his hand back up again, this time under your shirt. You moaned softly at the contact of his skin on yours, as he kissed your neck, bitting on the exact same spot he found years before. 

He smiled over your skin. 

“At least this hasn’t changed”

It was all too much but not nearly enough. Just having him that close to you was dizzying enough but him touching you and enjoying the fact that you were just as weak for him at twenty nine made you never want to let go of him again.

“Where’s your room?”

You took Seokmin by the hand, guiding him through the narrow corridor. 

Your room was barely a room to begin with. You had no furniture except for the mattress lying on the floor, your clothes were either on the suitcase or on the chair on the side. 

“This is unlike you” Seokmin said, his chest pressed to your back while he nibbled on the skin of your neck. 

“I… hm… I” you sturred a little when he bit into a particularly sensitive spot, making him chuckle “I’m waiting on delivery”

Seokmin turned you around in his arms while lightly pushing you down on the mattress. His eyes never left yours as he ran his hand under your shirt, moving the fabric up until your chest was exposed. 

It had been so long since you had been with anyone, it was almost like a reflex to want to pull your shirt back down. Since him, it had been hard to just let yourself be exposed to someone like that. You had become awfully aware of your body and things you never cared for or paid attention to before suddenly became worries. You didn't like that insecure version of yourself but when Seokmin cupped your breast in his hand his touch was almost solemn. 

It was probably the worst timing in the world when you felt tears burn on the back of your eyes. You pulled his face to yours again, trying to hide your tears from him once again. 

Suddenly, his touch was tender when he pushed a few strands of hair away from your face, his fingers careful. 

Seokmin moved down on your body. When you saw his fingers on the waistband of shorts you lifted your hips off of the mattress to help him move the fabric down quicker. 

He kissed your hips and inner thigh. You moaned in anticipation, your hand taking a fist full of his soft hair. When his lips finally found your clit it was like fireworks erupted behind your closed eyelids.

Seokmin was impossibly hard in his pants, embarrassingly so like he was a teenager having his first time. 

He never thought that he would have you in his arms again and yet there you were in front of him, no reservations. Just for him. And for a moment it was like his brain was in short circuit, the small electric waves running all over his body, down to his toes. 

He licked a path from your cunt to your clit. He went down on you almost in desperation, his nose brushing on your clit every now and then. 

"Seokmin..." his name was barely a whisper in your lips, but it was also a chant. 

Your orgasm hits you quickly, leaving you short of air and with shaky legs. You were spiraling in the most enticing way possible. It didn't stop Seokmin though as he kept sucking you frantically. 

You tugged on his hair, pulling him up and to you again. 

I love you,  the words almost fell out of your lips. It would have been so easy to just say them, to be open about your feelings just this once. 

Deep down you knew that that moment would be a one time kind of thing. It was just the kind of moment people sometimes needed to just completely let go of everything. Or in this case, nothing. It was to let go of seven years of complete nothingness and silence.

You opened the button of his jeans and pushed it down, his boxers following along. You wrapped your hand around his cock, pumping him a couple of times. Realization suddenly came over you. You never expected Seokmin to show up to your place, much less that it would lead to that moment, and there wasn't anyone else in your life, so you weren't ready for it. 

"I don't have a condom" you said breathlessly.

Seokmin looked lost for a second, his brain going to his wallet, questioning whether or not he had one in him. 

"I can pull out," he said "if that's okay"

All you did was nod and Seokmin aligned himself with your hole. He pushed in slowly, savoring each moment when your pussy pulled him in until there was no space between the two of you. 

Seokmin kissed you again to give himself time to adjust to you squeezing him. You held his face close to yours, in your eyes a mix of emotions he didn't want to understand. Not in that moment at least.

"I don't want anyone else," you said looking into his eyes, your thumb running over his bottom lip "No one else can make me feel the way you do"

To hell with care and self-preservation. You let go of those the moment you opened the door for him, the moment you let him into your home, the moment you didn't push him away when he kissed you. 

Seokmin fucks you slowly, his pace torturous as you beg and beg for more. He intertwined his fingers with yours and held one of your hands above your head while the other one held your hips in place. 

"Seokmin... harder"

And it's like a switch has gone off inside his brain. His once slow pace becomes shallow. The sound of your breaths and his skin slapping against yours were the only ones heard, echoing through the empty room. 

Your orgasm sneaks up on you, catching you so off guard you scream because it's too much. 

You pushed Seokmin away and watched in ecstasy as he wrapped his hand around his cock, his hand working fast as your name left his lips when his release fell on the sheet by your side. 

Seokmin dropped his body over yours again, his forehead on your shoulder. You closed your eyes and ran your hand over his hair. 

"I love you" you allowed yourself to say, even if it meant nothing to him. 

Letter #6

Seokmin,

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm coming home. Or the closest thing I still have to a home. Needless to say, my mother is happy with the news. She's been tormenting me for years, asking me to come back, but since I set foot here I decided I wasn't going back.

I wanted to, but I wouldn't go back.

Every time I thought about going back, the first thing that came into my head was the last image I had of you. Your teary eyes wishing me a safe flight, saying I love you and hope you accomplish everything you want. I regretted it the moment I gave my things away and handed my passport into the hand of the airline girl. I should have come back, I should have given up, but I couldn't. That old story of putting myself first and second, you know how it goes. In this case, my entire top 10 was just different versions of me.

I think I actually felt scared because as time went by, little by little without me realizing it right away, you became a very big part of my life. A part that could change everything. I felt like I depended on you too much. It wasn't fair to you or me.

We were only 22, Seokmin. When we were so young, we thought that life was conquered and today I know that is not the case. Far from it. At 22 I had a degree and worked part-time at a cafe to pay the bills, just like you.

You might think I'm selfish, I'm sure you do based on the things you say on your show. I was selfish and on some level, I don't regret it. I did what I always planned to do, what I always wanted to do. And now I'm coming home.

Part of me wants to run and find you, explain why I made the decisions I did, why I never told you. But I know you won't want to listen to me. I wouldn't want to listen to me either. Why would I listen to someone who left just like that? It really wouldn't make sense.

But another part, this one a little more rational, says that I shouldn't throw salt into the wound after so many years have gone by. I have the scar here, hidden enough for no one to see, but prominent enough for me to remember what I did every single day.

I think that's what I'm going to do. I think that's what I have to do. It wouldn't be fair to just show up in front of you and say “hi, I'm back” after seven years.

You have become a big “what if” for me. What if I had stayed? Would we have stayed together or would our relationship have ended years ago? What if I had told you what I was doing while I was doing it? Would you have asked me to stay? What if I had given the possibility of a long-distance relationship? Would we have worked out or would you start to resent me for leaving and end up hurting each other anyway?

The most absurd thing is that I still like you, I'm still in love with you. I've always heard that distance makes love end or something like that. I haven't seen you in seven years, I don't know what's going on in your life — you're really good at hiding everything being a celebrity now — so it doesn't make any sense that my feelings haven't changed even after all this time. This guy I see online might not be the Seokmin I fell in love with, just like I'm not the same person you remember.

Every time I hear your voice I still feel butterflies in my stomach. I sleep and dream about you. When I wake up I think about you and I wonder if you think about me too. It is not normal. It's not healthy. Life went on and I think it is our obligation to move forward together. We are not a museum to only feed on the past.

Let's continue as we are now, what do you think? We will once again be in the same country, in the same city, but I think it's best for both of us to pretend that nothing will change. It's a huge city, what are the chances of us meeting?

yn

Before you even opened your eyes, you already knew what you would find. Or who you wouldn't find. You knew the space next to you on the mattress would be empty. You had noticed the exact moment Seokmin had gotten up, but you forced yourself to believe that he had just gone to the bathroom. You had kept your eyes closed and had somehow gone back to sleep.

You had been naive to think that the night had changed something, that the way everything seemed like it would be fine was an indication that things had finally gotten back on track. If any, the train simply ended up derailing.

When Seokmin kissed you it was magical, no matter how cliché and teenage it may sound. It was as if the world had fallen into place again, as if you had finally returned home after being away for so long. You couldn't help but wonder if that was why you'd taken the job, in the foolish, unconscious hope that there might be a chance, however slight, of being with him again.

You forced yourself to sit up and pulled the sheet up to cover your naked body. The shirt and shorts you wore the night before were next to you on the floor, but you refused to wear those clothes, opting to rummage through the boxes in the corner of the room looking for clean ones.

You didn't want to go to the living room, didn't want to be mocked by the two boxes that Seokmin had left on the counter, but you couldn't help it. It was as if your feet had a life of their own. When you realized it, you were already sitting on the living room floor with the two boxes in front of you.

You momentarily decided to ignore the smaller black box and pulled the large one closer. The first thing you saw was the envelope Seokmin mentioned the night before. Money, especially the one in the envelope, wasn't something you were going to worry about. You didn't care about it, you didn't lie when you told him that he should have spent it. That money would remain untouched.

There were also a few books you read and made annotations on, two stuffed animals, and all the picture frames you had left behind.

One of the things you regretted the most was not taking with you when you left were photos of you and Seokmin. You had only taken one, which was folded inside your wallet. It was already so old and worn out that it had almost turned to dust, but you would never get it out. It was you and Seokmin at Niah's old restaurant, he was smiling at the camera while you looked at him. It was your favorite picture.

At the bottom of the box was the camera you had given Seokmin as a birthday present a few months before you left. You had saved whatever money you could for months to buy him the camera he wanted, one that he always talked about and whenever you passed by a store you stood outside looking at it, almost as if it would magically appear in his hands.

You understood his reasons for leaving the camera there — or, at least, the reasons you could imagine—but you wished he had kept using it. Not because it was a gift from you, but because it was something he wanted. His smile was so big when you gave it to him, the tip of his nose slightly pointed down because of it.

Carefully you put everything back inside and put it aside.

The smaller box, for some reason, was scary. It was light and black, and you could hear its contents moving as you held it in your hands. You took one last deep breath and removed the lid.

Inside were photos you had never seen before. Photos of you alone, Seokmin wasn't in any of them. In none of them were you posing or smiling directly at the camera.

Most of them had been taken from a distance, without you noticing. In some you were inside the cafe where you worked, smiling at customers and serving tables, in others you were simply walking down the street, looking through window shops and pointing at something. Seokmin had taken countless photos of you without you even realizing it.

It was strange to see yourself through his eyes, even if it was a version of you that no longer existed. A much younger and more optimistic version. Did I smile that much? you couldn't help but ask. You never saw yourself as particularly optimistic or constantly smiling. You were happy, that's undeniable, but you didn't know that's how people saw you.

There were so many photos, from completely different moments, both from the beginning of your relationship with Seokmin, and from all the phases you went through together.

Behind the pictures were the post-its that you left around the apartment, reminding Seokmin of somewhere you had together or simply saying that you loved him. So many had a simple “I love you” written on them, others said “have a good day today!”.

You had no idea he had kept them. You always thought that once read, they were discarded, but there they were, intact as if you had just written them.

The very first one you had ever written, when you had just started dating, was also there. At the time, unlike Seokmin who never had a hard time expressing how he felt, it was almost impossible for you to be openly honest. So you wrote it on a post-it and stuck it inside one of his notebooks. He had shown up at the dorm a few hours after you left the library.

“Say it again, but this time looking at me”

You frowned, pretending you didn't understand.

“Your nose is beautiful”

You laughed when Seokmin wrapped his arms around you, squeezing a little, trapping your arms close to your body. His face was very close to yours.

“What you wrote in the note” he said softly, his cheek pressed against yours “Say it again, please”

The truth was that you had loved Seokmin, in a way you didn't believe was possible and maybe that was why you spent the last seven years writing letters to him.

Seokmin never left your mind, not truly. There was always a desire, even if veiled, to return home, to find out how he was, to just say “I know I messed up, I’m sorry”.

It was that desire that made your entire body go cold as you took one last item out of the box. A smaller box that fit in the palm of your hand. You knew what it was before you even opened it and opening it was the worst choice at that moment. Your heart, which was already broken, somehow managed to break even more, into a billion, shiny, new pieces.

Seokmin would have proposed if you hadn't left.

When the first sob echoed through the living room, you didn't try to hold it back, you just accepted the feeling of being absolutely lost and heartbroken.

The weather outside the building seemed to mimic the way you had felt in the last few weeks, torrential rain that had no end in sight. You watched the news hoping for an improvement, hoping that the rain would stop for at least a few hours, but it seemed like a distant dream.

All your students were already gone and there was nothing left for you to do. The handed in assignments were graded and the tests were ready to be applied the following week. You had never hated yourself so much for simply doing your job. You wanted to be, at least for that day, like other teachers who left corrections until the last possible second and left students desperate for their grades.

The hallway was in complete silence, a clear sign that everyone had left already. And you had already waited hours for the rain to stop, until the sky was completely dark, and if anything the rain had only gotten worse.

You sighed and picked up your bag from the chair. You wouldn't risk taking any books, papers, or documents home, the possibility of everything getting ruined was too big. Besides, you needed a rest, at that point it was well deserved.

Ever since you had opened the boxes Seokmin left behind, you had immersed yourself in work in every way possible. You had accepted all of the dean's requests and even offered to teach extra classes whenever there was a missing professor.

And even so, even though you had more work than you wanted, you still found time to look at all of his social media. You still listened to all his programs, even listened to the old ones before going to sleep.

It was almost like a form of elaborate torture done solely and exclusively with you in mind. And worst of all, it was self-inflicted. It was as if your brain liked it, begged for it.

The box with the engagement ring was next to your pseudo bed. It was the last thing you saw before going to sleep and the first thing you saw when you woke up. Instead of spending hours on your phone, you sat there, staring at the small box.

You hadn't dared to open it again. You had never felt so lost as you did that day, looking at that ring.

You wouldn't be a hypocrite to say that you had never imagined your life if you had married Seokmin, but before it was nothing more than a daydream. The ring made that dream an attainable reality. It had been in your hands and you just walked away.

A curse left your lips when you noticed that the umbrella you had used that morning was missing from the umbrella holder next to the door.

“Great, that’s exactly what I needed” you muttered, slamming the door shut behind you.

You were tired, exhausted to tell the truth. All you wanted was to get home, take a shower, and watch some relationship reality show, to escape the tragedy that was your own love life.

You closed your eyes and sighed as you reached the entrance. The next bus stop or subway station was at least a 15 minute walk away. That was a problem that existed when you went to school there, everything was far away. One would think that they would do something to improve that, but one would be wrong.

You thought about taking shelter in the nearest coffee shop, but you knew it was almost closing time. You wouldn't be the person who forces employees to stay late, not when you had worked at that exact coffee shop years ago.

Even with your heavy coat covering most of your body, the rain was cold on your back and it was hard to see anything ahead, even if it was just a few steps away. Even the sound of cars was muffled by the rain.

“yn?” a car was on your left, and it was moving at the same speed as you. The face of whoever was behind the wheel was blurred by the rain, but you would have recognized that voice anywhere in the world.

“Let me give you a ride”

You shook your head. The last thing you should do was get in the car with him. It was too dangerous, you were sure that if you looked at him for more than a second you’d start crying. Just by hearing his voice your eyes were burning and a lump was forming in your throat.

“It’s fine, the bus stop is right there”

“There was an accident back there, the bus won’t be here anytime soon”

You grumbled. Of course, there was an accident, of course, there wouldn't be a bus and with your luck, the subway would probably be closed too.

"If your car went through the accident, a taxi will too”

You quickened your pace, not because of the rain, but because you wanted to get away from him. You needed to get away from him.

“Jesus, yn, just get in the car. You’re going to get sick”

You pretended you didn't hear what he said and kept walking, face down – trying to escape both the rain and him. The first tear fell from your eyes. For the first time in days, you were grateful for the rain, because you could pretend it was just water and not a visual representation of your broken heart on your cheeks.

Seokmin stopped the car right there, in the middle of the street. He didn't care if someone was standing behind him honking like crazy — something that was bound to happen.

When he left your apartment that day he felt like he was 22 again, but this time he was the one leaving.

Hearing that you loved him was everything he had wanted, but the timing was strangely right and wrong, both at the same time.

Both of you screamed, shouted, and said what you wanted to say — or at least part of what you wanted to say. A weight had been lifted from his shoulders, at the same time a new one was placed on it.

After you fell asleep in his arms, the only thing Seokmin could think about were the letters scattered across the living room floor. There were so many. He couldn't believe you had spent all those years writing letters to him.

He needed to read them all. He would have done it in the living room, but he didn't know what awaited him, so he collected them all from the floor and a few more that had been left in the box and left.

He read the first one in the car, he couldn't wait until he got home. 

Seokmin cried right there, the same way he cried when you left. Inconsolable. His heart broke and healed in equal measure with every word of yours he read.

Seokmin always believed that you left like that, without a single word, because you didn't like him that much, because you didn’t want to be with him anymore. Not that he thought the entire relationship had been a lie, but he thought that somehow the love had ended. It happened to everyone, the probability of it happening to him was also high.

The truth could not be different. There wasn't a letter in which you didn't say you loved him, not always in those words, but he knew you well enough to know that was what you said.

After reading all the letters, Seokmin called Joshua. He cried on the phone with his friend and then once again when he showed up at his place with bad beer and takeout food. “Since we’re going to talk about our college days, I think we should do the same thing we did back then” was all he said.

Seokmin was on his way to you when he saw you walking without an umbrella. He wanted to talk to you, to know if even after so long you still wanted to try with him one more time. It was better to try than to always wonder what could have been.

“I read your letters!” he shouted louder than the rain.

His words were enough to make you stop walking, but you still didn't turn to face him. It was too hard to breathe. Your chest rose and fell irregularly each time you tried to pull the air in.

You knew Seokmin had taken the letters. Part of you knew he would read them, but the last thing you expected was for him to want to talk about them.

“I know” you said when he approached “I saw they were gone, and you were the only person who came by”

“Do you know why I accepted to host a love advice show? Besides it being something I've always wanted, of course” he didn't give you time to answer “Because a part of me wanted you to listen, to know that I was okay, even if it was a lie. I thought that if I talked about it on a show that had used the nickname you gave me, you’d regret it. I thought that I should make you regret it because it was the only way I could still think about you without looking like a fool after so long. I thought you didn’t care, that you had left because you didn’t like me anymore, so making you regret your decision was the only option I had”

You shook your head. It wasn't true, not by a long shot.

“I'm sorry” you said softly “I should have told you what I was doing, that I had applied for the and got in. I thought it was my only option. It was so stupid. I was so stupid”

Seokmin laughed a little, fingers running under your eyes. A second later he pressed his lips over yours.

“I know, I read your letters”

Seokmin,

It's been a good few years since I wrote you a letter. After a while, I didn't think I needed it anymore because I started saying everything I wanted, everything I felt, looking at you. Of course, this new arrangement has its demerits, as the paper and pen don't look at me like a lost puppy. But paper and pen don't kiss me either, so it has its bonus.

I thought when I came home four years ago, I would never see you again. I thought you would just be the guy who has a radio show that I would listen to every now and then. I didn't expect to see you my first week back and again and, well,  again.

As you probably know, I've never been a big fan of rainy days. I always preferred sunny days because those were the days I woke up ready to face the world. I felt better overall. But also because they reminded me of you. You know, when the sun appears after gray days? For me, you were always like that. Grand and brilliant.

But after that day, I started to like rainy days too because they started to be full of the two of us. Rain was no longer synonymous of an unproductive day, but rather of the memory of our fresh start.

You know this, we've talked about it a few times, but I spent a few months waiting for it to sink in. Sort of expecting that one day I would wake up and it would all be a dream. It was hard for both of us, I know. It was seven years of hurt and resentment and we had to navigate this uncertain sea without a map. Nobody teaches you how to do this, believe me, I looked. I found countless books on how to start dating, how to save a relationship, and how to get over a relationship. The problem is that none of them teach you how to rekindle a relationship after seven years apart, but during those seven years one of the parties wrote letters and the other had a program just to mourn the sorrows of the relationship.

I've read several, so you can trust what I say on this.

It really wasn't easy, but I think we came out better, stronger, in some way.

I love you and I’ll tell you that every day for the rest of our lives. Our forever begins today, in a little while. So stop crying, put ice on your eyes to help the swelling go down, and go to the aisle because I miss you already.

I love you.

yn

taglist: @wonwooz1, @mirtaspace, @feat-sun, @belladaises, @mayashu, @immabecreepin, @miriamxsworld, @aaniag, @k-drama-adict, @maiamorrrrrrrrrrrr, @roguesthetic, @sofix-hc7, @scarlet789, @moonlightgrleric, @mixling-blog, @haowonbins, @slut4donghyuck, @shuabby1994, @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan, @plumings, @shuasdrafts, @aaasia111, @bouclesdefeu

if you enjoyed reading, please reblog or leave a comment, it really does mean the world to me and i would love to know your thoughts. thank you! 💕

if you want to be tagged in my next fics, please fill out this form

#k-labels #svt smut #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #dokyeom x reader #lee dokyeom x reader #dokyeom x you #lee dokyeom x you #dokyeom #seventeen fluff #dokyeom imagines #lee seokmin imagines #lee dokyeom #dokyeom fluff #seokmin x reader #lee seokmin x reader #seokmin x you #lee seokmin x you #seokmin #seokmin imagines #lee seokmin #seokmin fluff #seokmin smut #dokyeom smut #svt angst #seokmin angst

[hanggarae]

꒰ SNOOPY KEYCHAIN !

↺ synopsis ; finding your lost snoopy keychain at 2 am with dokyeom

dokyeom x f!reader

“min, i’ll lose my mind please come over and help me find it” seokmin almost felt a little bad at how he had to hold back laugh while you panicked over the phone.

in his defence, it was a funny situation! how could he not find you calling him at 2 am because of your lost snoopy keychain a little amusing?

“i’m on my way sweetheart” seokmin said, voice still groggy having just woken up. he was already putting on a think hoodie to beat the cold of late winter. “don’t stress too much i’m sure we’ll find it, alright?”

you sighed, reassured because of your boyfriend’s words.

ten minutes later, you heard the notification from your phone alerting you that someone was at your door. you made sure it was your boyfriend before opening it up, giving him a quick peck before asking for his car keys.

seokmin tilted his head in confusion and you bit back the urge to coo at him while he looked like a lost puppy.

“it might’ve dropped in your car after our date today”

‘today’ told seokmin that you hadn’t slept yet, upsetting seokmin but he wouldn’t lecture you just yet he thought while handing you his keys.

he watched as you ran across the hall and to the elevator so you could get to his car outside. he watched for a few seconds before grabbing the jacket you had hung by your door and chasing after you, ushering the jacket onto you while you both waited for the elevator.

another twenty minutes later, that snoopy keychain was still nowhere in sight.

“baby, i’m starting to think it might be gone” seokmin sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and stifling another yawn for the nth time.

“don’t say that!” you whined, nudging his shoulder gently, “if it’s gone i’m actually going to cry”

“it’s not the end of the world if you lost one snoopy keychain” seokmin giggled, cupping your face and using his thumb to stroke your cheek.

“it is!” you sulked, “you got me that keychain on our first date at that carnival. if i lose it that means i’m a horrible girlfriend”

seokmin looked at you for a few seconds before breaking out into another laugh. he was far too infatuated with you for his own good.

“considering i didn’t even remember that sweetheart i think that makes me an even worse boyfriend” seokmin said gently and tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“shut up, you could never be a bad boyfriend” you mumbled, leaning up to press a kiss to seokmin’s lips and melting at how you could feel him smile against your own.

“i’ll get you a new keychain tomorrow, okay?”

“okay”

#seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen x you #dokyeom x y/n #dokyeom x you #dokyeom x reader #dokyeom imagines #dokyeom fluff #seokmin fluff #lee seokmin x reader #seokmin x reader #seokmin imagines #lee seokmin imagines

[hoshifighting]

I don’t know if this has already been done but, I was wondering if you can do a reaction to SVT members hearing a member and their S/O having sex

Seventeen members hearing a member and their S/O having sex

Seungcheol: raises an eyebrow, chuckling to himself as he thinks, "well, looks like someone's having a good time." not wanting to even dream about who it could be making so much noise that late.

Jeonghan: smirks knowingly, exchanging a glance with Joshua, before casually remarking, "sounds like they're getting pretty into it." and he would probably be one of those who would make fun of the member.

Joshua: "tsk... guess they're not holding back tonight." he would keep complaining to himself, turning up the sound on the TV.

Junhui: he would probably keep his face as static as possible, avoiding contact with the member for a few hours afterward. maybe a lil' traumatized?

Soonyoung: widens his eyes in mock surprise, "just now that I'm dry asf. I wish it was me, do you know if --- is home?"

Wonwoo: raises an eyebrow, not missing a beat in his game, though inwardly thinking, "they could at least try to be a bit quieter." another that would try to increase the volume of the headphones to avoid further constraints. if the other members would listen… it was no longer his problem.

Jihoon: rolls his eyes, muttering to himself, "can't they keep it down for once? some of us are trying to work here." I would pick up his things and go to the studio… which is soundproof.

Mingyu: he would accidentally have a boner, not because of the S/O, or the member, is just It's just because it reminded him of sexual memories of himself.

Minghao: he would judge right away "how do they have so much energy? just listening to it makes me tired." he would say to himself.

Seokmin: blushes furiously, feeling awkward and embarrassed by the sounds coming from the other room. he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, trying to focus on anything other than the noises filtering through the walls.

Seungkwan: would sulk upon realizing what was happening, feeling a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment. "not again," he'd mutter to himself, rolling his eyes and trying to drown out the noise with his own activities.

Vernon: Vernon's mistake this day was arriving home early, not even giving him time to take off his shoes at the entrance. catching the sounds from the main door. he'd immediately feel awkward, swiftly making his exit.

Chan: understanding the hectic schedule and lack of privacy the members face, Chan would be the least bothered by the situation. he'd simply shrug it off, knowing that the dorms serve as a refuge for the members to unwind and have some privacy.

#seventeen imagines #seventeen reactions #seventeen headcanons #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen smut #seventeen fluff #seventeen #svt smut #svt imagines #seungcheol smut #jeonghan smut #joshua hong smut #junhui smut #hoshi smut #woozi smut #minghao smut #mingyu smut #seokmin smut #seungkwan smut #vernon smut #chan smut #dino smut #scoups smut #jisoo smut #jihoon smut #the8 smut