#sigh this feels messy

[humans-are-tasty]

#monkey d. luffy #gear 5 #gear 5 luffy #one piece #my art #messy and i have no clue about anatomy #very inspired by 2964_KO on twitter #check them out if you dont know them.. i cant remember the last time i was more blown away and inspired by art honestly. lol... #theyre the same age as me too sigh #but now i feel more motivated to level up and push myself to try new things so yeah. life is ok for now #my friend calls g5 luffy 'cloud luffy' :)

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2023. VILLAINS by V. E. Schwab.

Time for a NaNo Prep Reread! I love Victor and this vicious little family with my whole chest. This'll be my second time rereading VICIOUS, but only my first time rereading VENGEFUL.

#books of 2023 #villains #vicious #vengeful #ve schwab #books #book photography #seriously i love these so much #shades of magic was good but vicious as my heart lol #vicious held up on the first reread a few years ago so im excited to dissect it for the Revenge Arc this time #i feel vaguely bad because i remember nothing about marcella but. tbf. how could i when victor and sydney and mitch are RIGHT there #also this is just. so much better. than hench.... #i finished hench at three o'clock this morning just to be Done #the pacing was Messy™ and it didn't get better #definitely brutal and fucked up (that body horror at the end was epic actually) but. overall mediocre for me.... #parts did make me laugh and i'm love the spreadsheets take but. i couldn't get over the pacing #WHICH AGAIN I KNOW IS RICH COMING FROM ME #sigh #anyway i read the first scene this afternoon but now i'm gonna watch nate wreaking havoc in heist fambly while my laundry goes #and THEN bedtime reading

[catboyvader]

one week away...

#loser.art #obi wan kenobi #star wars #the forces poorest little meow meow </3 #star wars: kenobi #its so messy i rlly love it tho tbh #i rlly need to fond a better way to draw beeards #tbh not feeling the bg color but nothing else was workin either *sigh* #star wars art #i cropped this above the chest hair cus i was abt to do unsavory things to that old man #oh look i remebered to actually sign my art this time

[nia-academia]

reminder to not let myself be washed away, to stand my ground even when it seems much easier to just let go, to stay firm in what i believe and to never feel small because everything else seems bigger.

reminder to never again live passively.

#im having a Moment today #or maybe its just my period #idk i just feel like i want to live by these principles rather than just letting the days merge into one long sigh #i would rather try and give it my all and be imperfect and messy in what i put out rather than detach myself from everything that im not #100 percent perfect at bzc then i'll just end up detaching myself from mostly everything and at the end of it all i'll jsut be left here #regretting the things i couldve shouldve done #self help #self improvement #student life

[v-thinks-on]

So I’ve been gradually watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer over the past many months, which has been fun, but I haven’t had much to say about it... until now... Somehow I got super invested in Spike’s arc in season 5 and then season 6 happened and now I’m on season 7 (I’m still early in the season so no spoilers please) and I just keep thinking about it... How, if only, after the musical episode in season 6, Buffy had said outright that she couldn’t trust Spike because he didn’t have a soul, so then he went out and got one (when he was doing so well, I had this idea for a gag that he gets his soul back except basically nothing changes because he had become good already). And then Buffy helps him work through his remorse trauma while he helps her with her whole coming back “wrong” thing (and if we’re going to smush seasons 6 and 7 together, the evil from below could be what poisons Willow’s magic rather than it just suddenly being addictive for inadequately explained reasons and Tara doesn’t have to die). I don’t quite feel up to writing it myself (writing in general has been a bit of a struggle lately) and I don’t want spoilers so I can’t read fic until I finish watching the series, but when I do, someone must have written a fix-it (or a zillion of them), right?

#v thinks #v rambles #Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Spuffy??? #I never thought I would ship it but somehow I kind of do??? #everything is a mess and it becoming canon after everything in season 6 has so many messy implications but also I want it all to be okay #if only they could let Spike just be good and loyal and not a problem #sigh #too many feelings #fics I want to read (as soon as I'm done with the show...) #buffy spoilers #so many spoilers

[cactusringed]

I think etho and bdubs might be in love

#I made myself sad by seeing people be genuinely rly mean on the Internet #So now I am cheering up w the knowledge that ethubs are in love #I think everytime etho looks at bdubs he feels his heart melt #I think everytime bdubs mispronounces sth on purpose in a goofy way etho falls in love all over again #I think whenever etho sees bdubs' messy and un-optimised redstone the first words that come to his mind is 'I love you' #I think any moment spent together is a gift #To both of them #I think they both think of the other as their sunshine #I think they're just so stupidly in love #Sighs

[kithj]

#tfw you wake up in a pool of blood with an insatiable bloodlust #anyways im giving up on this it's just going to have to look bad #i didnt really finish rendering the blood but i cant get it how i want it anyways so. giving up! #the hair....sigh #i really wish i could actually paint :/ i always feel like my illustrations look so disjointed/lacking cohesion #like to me angel looks detached from the background and so do the curtains. but idk how to fix it lmfao #and none of my art is ever polished i cant do lineart everything is messy it is what it is #whatever :pensive: #angel #hell's holler #nudity #blood #my art

[buck-yyyy]

something interesting i noticed while reading the goldfinch, that im sure many people have pointed out but is new to me, is his idolization of pippa.

also, quick note, i have NOT finished the book yet, so if i’ve missed anything or gotten something wrong, that would be why.

like it’s not news that he idolizes her, obviously, but just like. a really strong,,, theme, i suppose, in the goldfinch is that in one way or another, all of them are somewhat bad or unlikable people. his dad is exploitive, an angry drunk, and at some points, abusive. kitsey is a cheater and spoiled. xandra is cheap, trashy, and irresponsible.

the only exceptions to this theme are pippa and his mother (one could argue hobie as well, but in my opinion, hobie is still written with flaws, and theo doesn’t view him as perfect, he simply admires him).

i think that having pippa and his mother be the only two “morally pure” characters was a very intentional choice, and in my eyes, is further evidence towards theo being gay with a truckload of repression, internalized homophobia, and comphet.

sure, what he feels for pippa is painted to be love, but think about one of most common experiences in compulsory heterosexuality- your so called ‘crushes’ on the opposite sex are a combination of that mentioned idolization as well as only “falling” for unattainable people because you subconsciously know that it’s safe, that you’d never have a chance with them so you don’t have to worry about questioning your sexuality.

this is also not to mention that he is likely VERY trauma bonded to pippa because of the horrific trauma and loss they both experienced at the museum bombing. i mean, theo is a very unreliable narrator, because we’re seeing everything through the lens of severe unprocessed trauma and drug addiction. it wouldn’t be unthinkable to say that he’s interpreting this trauma bond and compulsive heterosexuality as love or romantic affection- it’s incredibly common.

i believe that this connection between pippa and his mother is a VERY intentional choice made to tell the reader that there’s more to it than it seems.

#sigh #this is messy but shh #i feel like i shouldn’t be writing analysis on this book because it’s way above me i’m not even gonna lie- #the goldfinch #theodore decker

[rosy-bless]

something incredibly tender about a self-conscious, painstakingly composed sickie finally wearing themselves out and unavoidably submitting to the untidiness and vulnerability of a head cold

#thinking about a caretaker who comes home to see their beloved sickie asleep on the couch #tissues strewn and one crumpled in their hand #snoring congestedly with flushed cheeks and messy hair #and the caretaker breathing a sigh of relief as they gently brush their sickie's hair back from their face #because their sickie is finally resting instead of trying to act like nothing's wrong #<3 #dang i came on here to be h word but i am feeling so emotional about colds right now #snz kink #snz scenario #whump #bona fide babbs original

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

i fall in love with komos. he makes me smile. he (with frankie) makes me want to finish this godforsaken movie in one sitting just for them to put him in krampus cosplay and throw a plot twist at me????

#this is why we can't have nice things!!! #THIS is why we can't have nice things #THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS #give me a man with messy hair and glasses and i lose all will to act like i don't even like men #they knew this about me #and they used it against me #okay so i finally watched the live action monster high #this is has been my most repeated thought ever since the plot twist #i just feel so....so ashamed #so angry at myself for not seeing it sooner #*sigh* welp off to watch the sequel when i wake up #monster high #monster high the movie #mr komos #monster high komos #monster high hyde jr #is there even a komos following??? #komos #mr. komos

[mountinez]

sometimes i keep wondering, and i can't help but think that ney just didn't settle down yet because leo is already taken(?) 😭 i know it is absurd and i'm delusional and a ficwriter but in my head leo is the love of his life 😭😭😭💔

[neymar's lawyers the print to sue me is right here no need to search for the posts i call him a sl*t]

#neymessi #neymar jr #lionel messi #i feel the same about anto already being taken btw i fucking love and crush her *sigh*

[boxwinebaddie]

so how does kenny feel abt kyle in rm?? like did kenny go to southpark? were they friends? is kenny cool with jersey and raven with their hate???? SO MANYY QUESTIONS!!! ily u and ur writing omg

ooooh! these are...very interesting questions, darling. and your perception is marvelous. but in risk of spoiling my entire fanfic, which i would gladly do even though i'm not supposed to ( just say the word ), i will strategically answer as much of this question as i can. xx

so kyle, unabashedly, is an abrasive, abhorrent argumentative a-hole.

he is unfriendly and unpleasant and unnerving, harsh and hard, cold and cruel, fierce and freezing. tldr; evil stalks where kyle walks.

or so it would seem.

because...we know that behind the harsh glare of kyle's glasses, his eyes are soft, green and inquisitive and so lovely. he's nice. on the DL. he's our ornery but secretly nice law student slenderman asshole.

and i would say this is agreed upon by all the RM side characters.

...except one.

kenny mccormick does NOT like kyle broflovski. AT ALL.

which, makes sense, of course. again, kyle broflovski is a wicked son of a bitch. he's a self-righteous bastard, an accused licker of law boots and, as such, is the mor(t)al enemy of kenny-style chaotics.

but kenny not liking kyle goes way deeper than their ideologies clashing or them personally thinking kyle is a bootlicking dickhead.

kenny...doesn't trust kyle.

in general, around their inner circle ( cd ), but specifically,

around ravenstan.

now, in a poor attempt to answer your second question, kenny did not live in south park...per say, dear nonnie. their family's trailer moved around pretty much bi-weekly their entire childhood, so nowhere was really home to kenny...except...you guessed it...

ravenstan. ;)

so for context, i would say that the events preceding rm/raven povs can be split into about three sections which i will define by location:

part one is south park before the fire,

part two is in another location after the fire,

and part three is in los angeles where the punkrock avengers assemble, and four broke hooligans with butterfly tramp stamp tattoos become OG Crimson Dawn

*** ( there's kind of two LA parts. LA SIDE A: where they are poor, working shitty jobs and playing music on the side, and LA SIDE B: where they are shot into stardom and grappling with all that glitters.

both are very fun and stressful, in different ways. xx )

kenny comes into play around part two in the undisclosed location. they become essentially what kyle was to stan during part one and kenny is ravenstan's best friend, number two, right hand person, and is fiercely loyal/blindly and unconditionally devoted to him.

ken is also usually a rough and tumble, balls2thewall, caution to the wind spitfire, but their reckless, uncommitted barbed wire heart grew up in steed with stan's sweet, tender, wildflower boy heart and so kenny spent the bulk of their teen years onwards chasin after stan w/ tissues, knocking people out for making him cry, defending him etc.

so kenny is SUPER overprotective of raven. with everyone

....but especially with Boys.

tbh there is a lot i can't talk about, but as we have gathered, sultry, seductive superstar sensation raven of crimson dawn is really just sweet stan who...has been through a lot. every1 say we love u, raven.

and that alone warrants an undercurrent of overprotection but i'd be lying if i said it was all purely...

platonic.

because i will say...kenny does have a little...secret passionate ~something~...for ravenstan. been slowburnin since after the fire. i would say kenny, our king of deception, is very good at being aloof about it, but if you look close enough you can see it...lots of dawn spawn theories and edits about it. lots of painful longing eye contact.

....raven has...no fkin idea tho. smh.

beautiful oblivious king. rip ken.

but to answer your last question: kenny was very...Very Unchill with the raven and jersey hate-date and did NOT think it was a good idea.

kenny was, for lack of a better word, severely pissed the Fuck off by the news. and ( okay, i did delete rm6, i'll explain later ) if you can remember their phone call, kenny was giving ravenstan a lot of shit, being very overprotective, acting like a huge, raging asshole on the phone...and it was because they were worried about raven getting hurt ( amongst other complex things ) but also bc...they were Hurt.

i will say, kenny did still cover him. loyal legend and icon. but they did also...do...a lot of shots, several lines of coke and a couple of people in the coat closet to cope. one of them had an eyebrow piercing.

-uncle nina, releaser of the secret, steamy stenny romantic second lead subplot and curator of chaos and drama in the rmverse

#whew #i have been wanting to talk abt this for so long #i feel like this seems like i said a lot but there is actually so much more i didnt say bc i was trying to have self control smh #BUT WHEW KENNY IS SO COMPLICATED I LOVE THEM #also yes unfortunately they did catch the staven cooties he is really cute i dont blame them i too would accidentally fall in love #its a secret but its not theres a lot of intensity kenny gets very fucked up to ignore it its very messy oof #but dw im not gonna tolkien u guys w/ kenny tho i promise its just important backstory and it hurts my feelings lmao #but yeah they have...History #AND KENNY DOES NOOOOT like kyle #not at all kenny is Anti-Jersey i am actually surprised kenny didnt pull up and try to fight but the night is young! <3 #date night hate fight same difference right darlings ;) #also i will talk about it but i didnt like rm6 im gonna rewrite it so its not up there it was bothering me a lot #i am sorry for the surprise it just was eating at me :((( #BUT I HOPE WE LIKE THIS NEW INFORMATION IM SORRY FOR BABBLING BUT ITS ALL STUFF I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU REGARDLESS I SWEAR #also be nice to kenny theyre...sigh...going thru it ily skeleken #ALSO ILY TOO THANK U SO MUCH FOR READIN MY FILFTH

[attaboy-art]

dr michael morbius(toklasa)

#sighs contently. This was really fun i love getting messy when it comes to art #like yeah.. i CAN just draw on that layer. i CAN cake on that charcoal brush! #i feel like i yassified rich on accident #sighs. Someday ill get his face right #anywayyysssss #art #rlm #redlettermedia #red letter media #rich evans #mike stoklasa #fanart

[elvesofnoldor]

Armand in the latter third of the vampire armand is so fucking interesting. He was like, lestat is my brambling, laughing friend. He's like a brother to me. He's deeply and excruciatingly annoying. If anybody disrespects lestat's personhood, im about to start mauling. i will tear a bitch apart for Lestat. i will lie my own life down for him. Armand drank from lestat and saw a vision of Christ and later said that Christ was like a brother to him, that Christ was a human man just as he Armand is a human man. He said Christ's an extension of his own self, a mirror holding up to his own face, and it just sounds like Armand was really talking about lestat. Lestat is the focal point through which Armand learns, unsteadily and messily, to finally become a person himself. Armand's love for lestat feels like self-love. This demonic messed-up kid, he's healing through lestat, and I'm so obsessed with this fucking shit.

#people talks about lestat and armand like their intense shenanigan is romantic/sexual....*sighs* #yes anne rice wrote this fucking shit so i can't really blame you people #but i only find it meaningful and interesting when it is interpreted as a purely platonic relationship #and after all armand was a 17 year old for 500 years. lestat was 21 for 200 years. just FYI #also yeah anne rice lowkey made lestat some sort of vampire jesus but don't worry about it #you know her deranged Catholic mind was #mae overshares #again. no time or space or will for essay but #If anne rice wasn't so busy fetishizing armand's youth and the abuse that completely and utterly messed him up in the first half of the boo #and actually fleshed out ricardo's character and his relationship with armand #perhaps we'd better understand the nuance of his feeling towards lestat #and why he is so jealous of lestat. angry with lestat when he thought lesat did not love him #why armand wanted nikolas dead so much #this book is SUPPOSED to be about armand's relationship with lestat. his messy journey in healing from his abuse #and frankly. hopefully becoming a better person himself. so. just saying.

[ronkeyroo]

cw for naked mid-werewolf fluffy vilkas butt and unhinged anatomy under the cut because i am very not feeling art today  T_T

#super messy sketchy mess #im really not feeling it artwise today...agh...its hard when everyday the only thing i do is draw so like #what do i do when i dont feel like it ;_; #stare at the wall and think about vilkas ass #but at least we get some more (rare) werewolf vilkas ;_; #vilkas #skyrim art shenanigans #deep sigh #snap out of it ronkeeyyyyyy #you got work to do #sketches

[fluffy-flock]

Anyway Masumi Arakawa is canon genderqueer in my fics and all the art I ever draw of him send tweet

#at some point im gonna write snapshots about it #i dont know if i have any canon justification but i imprented on him and now he gets my messy Gender feelings #bitch i wanna feel handsome i wanna feel pretty yanno #get a man who can do both and also have an unaddressed crisis of gender and longing for femininity that he can't explain #he watches Akane put on her makeup and smiles and sighs #and part of it is because he thinks she's beautiful #and part of him misses doing his theater makeup very badly #and remembers how he felt looking in the mirror before opening night #and thinks he just feels nostalgia for a part of his life that did bring him joy #yanno??????????? #anyway i dont know that he would ever use that term but the man aint cis is what im saying #so ambiguously genderqueer is it