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zoroshark · 17 days

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Hey! This is Zoro coming with an update about my health as quite a few things have happened the past couple of months. As some may know, I've been dealing with chronic pain and illness since February of last year as mentioned in this post here.

A quick summary of it was that I have been dealing with constant bladder and stomach problems suddenly that were disrupting day to day life as they were painful and constant. Despite the multiple hospital visits, nothing was really done and at the time I could only wait to see certain specialists (which required a lot of money to see). Recently however, I finally got an answer to what was causing me pain in one part of my stomach! The culprit was my gallbladder and it has been removed!

The rest of the post will be caught off so for those who want to read in more detail, but one issue has been solved (at least i hope so)!

I also want to note here and thank everyone who's been supportive of me during this rough patch in my life. I also want to thank those who sent money for the GoFundMe! However, due to a few circumstances which will also be explained in the read more section, I will be refunding it all to those who donated.

TLDR version of my reason is that I was advise to do so for the eligibility medical/financial benefits I've been looking into. The refunds should be sent in about a week, so keep and eye out!

TW for Medical related subjects such as surgery.

For what was causing me pain in my stomach, or at least one of the reasons:

Turns out I had gallstones that somehow CT scans and ultrasounds didn't pick up last year, despite the pain and discomfort I was in from them. It got to the point where the pain was so unbearable, I was crying for about 2-3 hours before going to the ER. They found one stone had thicken walls through the ultrasounds and my gallbladder was infected from these stones.

Because of the findings, I underwent surgery to completely remove it during my stay in the hospital. I am now close to two weeks post-op and so far it has relieved most, if not all, of the constant pain I've been in my upper right. While I still have issues elsewhere in my body, it feels nice to have one issue solved. I just hope I don't need another trip to the ER anytime soon.

As for the detailed explanation for refunding the GoFundMe donations:

A few months back I after the go found me, I was accepted in a financial assistance program that made doctor's visits way cheaper. From close to hundreds of dollars to 3 dollars, that was way more an affordable price range for me. Despite that, i kept the donations on hold just in cause anything changed or something wasn't covered by the program until now.

Along with that, I've been applying for disability as I am considered disabled by my psychiatrist due to my mental health. After talking to a few folks who knew about the system, they mentioned that the money from the fundraiser could harm the process in gaining these benefits. Their recommended course of action was to refund the money as a precaution, so I'm following their advice. After the refunds have gone through, I will be closing the fundraiser.

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Again, I want to give a massive thank you everyone in general who have supported me through all this. Its been difficult, especially since I had to accommodate to the pain and changes in my body. There has been MANY ups and for sure downs, but I'm still holding on!

Thank you for reading on this update, and expect to see me slowly become active again on here! I'm still in my Zonai phase so expect more content revolving around that, along with possible Zora content. Original works not involving fandoms will also (hopefully) be posted too!

Im also thinking of opening commissions in the future! I'll need to ask about that first due to what I mentioned above, but as far as I'm aware, I should be okay to do so (but don't quote me on it). So keep an eye out!

#zoro rambles #health update #tw medical #gofundme update #lifes been freaking rough man #i still have these other issues giving me problems #but one thing at a time i guess #long post #feels weird thinking I don't have a gallbladder anymore though #I gotta be more cautious about my health now

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dearestxiao · 10 months

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Hey I just wanted to ask and I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfy but what happened to saekogun? I missed your #junesdegeneracyau and then I found out everything disappeared which was weird bcs I recall seeing ur blog in like March 2022

hi there nonnie... omg wow it's been such a long time since I've actually posted on this blog. thank you so much for the concern and to anyone else who's asked about me.

to give a quick tldr as to what happened with saekogun exactly: I took a break from writing right around a point in my life where I was both very busy, and slowly becoming more and more happy. the break turned out to be much longer than I thought it would be, and I one day decided to get rid of saekogun. my mental health has improved immensely, and I just wanted to say hello again.

I will start this off by saying I am very much alive and well. at the start of my first semester last year I decided to take a break from writing so that I could focus on my classes and internship and... just about everything else life had in store for me. it was initially supposed to be a short two week break, which is why I had initially never posted about it. but as more and more time went on, big (good) things kept happening in my life, and I had felt as if my mental health had additionally improved being away from tumblr. I decided that, for the sake of my mental well-being, I would not return for quite some time until I was fully stable enough to do so.

tumblr was a really weird source of turmoil in my life back then, which is kind of funny to say now that I look back on it (it sounds sooooo unserious, I know I know). I never talked about this openingly on my blog, but I did struggle a lot with my mental health, especially as someone with bpd. during the time that I wrote for saekogun, I had consistent and heavy episodes and mood swings. I knew no one else with bpd nor did I have someone I could talk about it with, so I felt a bit alone.

I felt very alone in my struggles and used tumblr as a sort of crutch and aid and it helped. immensely. but it also hurt me in different ways. I treated tumblr as a big responsibility in my life and it felt like I had a full time job as a content creator. I'm also neurodivergent and my executive function issues were beating me up without remorse. this was at a point in my life where I really did not have time for running my blog, but writing and interacting with the lovely following I had generated felt great. it was just too much for me though unfortunately, so I decided to move on.

I decided that I would keep the blog up running so that people could still enjoy it in my absence. however, one night after thinking on it for months I decided to just get rid of it. it sounds odd, but now that I was healing, that blog was just too representative and tied to a bad era of my life for me to want it to keep existing. so I banished it into the void, never to be seen again.

a lot of stuff has happened between now and then. to keep things short and sweet, I'm a lot happier now. I won't say things are absolutely perfect, because not everything can be of course, but I feel as though I've healed and grown. some amazing things have happened and for the first time in years I experienced true joy for a very long period of time. I'll stop myself from rambling before I get too cheesy and corny. but just know that it fr does get better y'all. I'm so glad I've lived long enough to a point where I can confidently say that.

I have a lot of regrets when it comes to saekogun. I definitely was not the best blog runner. I was constantly behind on asks and projects and I made lots and lots of mistakes when it came to my posting schedules and how I handled asks. I had so many asks that I never got to and made so many promises I couldn't keep. for that I deeply and utterly apologize. I do wish that I had done better and am sorry to those who've I disappointed. I thank everyone who had took the time to send something in and put time and energy into my blog.

another regret I have is not saving the color blue before I had gotten rid of the blog. that story is unfortunately lost to time itself since I don't have any portion of it saved. which sucks because if there was anything I'd continue to write about here from my old blog, it'd be that, but I have no access to it now.

I'm also sorry for anyone I have worried in my absence. I really should have made a post sooner, but I honestly had no idea what to say. I didn't know how to come back, and the longer I took to say anything, the harder it got.

I am beyond grateful for everything you've all had done for me, and for sticking around and checking up on me, and for enjoying my content in the first place. I cannot put into words how much it means to me for people to have cared about my silly little degenerate posts. from the bottom of my heart, I seriously thank you all. I also thank my sweet anons, old mutuals, and any followers who are still here.

now, onto the big question: will I ever write for this blog again? the answer is... iffy. I often fantasize about being able to write again, but the truth is I'm not into genshin anymore whatsoever, which is an issue since my primary fandom was always genshin. at some point after sumeru's initial release, I was simply just not as into the game anymore, and was too busy to actually sit down and play. I have no idea what's going on lore or game wise, and anything thats happened fandom wise either.

unfortunately, I'm not interested in getting back into genshin, so I'm very sorry to disappoint anyone who was hoping for more content like what I used to create.

however, I love writing. and I'm still really into yanderes and dark fiction as a whole. but I'm currently not into any fandoms that I think people would really be interested in so I don't think I have much to offer in terms of content. so for now, it's a... maybe? I guess we can talk about that as time goes by.

this is absolutely not to promise I'll actually be back though. I'm not sure if I'd be able to run a blog still to be honest, atleast not consistently. but I would love to drop by and post a little something every now and then and talk with you all.

thank you all once again, and thanks to whoever read this entire mess of words. listen, I'm rusty okay 😔

#june speaks!

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sungpeach · 10 months

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n a v i g a t i o n

hi yall i'm demi (26, they/she, pacific) and this is sung! feel free to give this a like or dm me on discord at demi6468 if you'd like to plot

if you're wondering if i'm the demi you know... probably. it's been a while since i've done tumblr rp so pls bear w me. this barbie is also a shawol so expect constant references in and out of character. that said, more sung info (sungfo, if u will) below:

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background:

grew up poor but then listened to paris hilton and just stopped being poor (or, as history will say, his parents' restaurant business blew up)

moved around quite a bit in older child/tween years as the business grew

was an idol fan from a young age, but the 'rents wanted sung as their business successor

sucks 4 them sung became a trainee anyway. was set for debut after a couple years but that fell through, then the company started treating him as a model instead of an idol and it wore him down and he left

took on military service

didn't give up on his dream tho, joined another company after coming back and worked as a back up dancer for a fallback

tldr for the ending survival show > temporary group > disbandment > solo

personality:

vitamin, sunshine, kind, sweet, polite, hopeless romantic, hard working, determined, introspective, dreamer, overthinker, judgmental, gives himself very good advice but very seldom follows it, can be a bit manipulative (though he doesn't think he is)

he's a pisces, for context on all the above. also a crybaby. cries for happiness, sadness, anything in between

sung's idol self and true self aren't particularly different, idol sung is just more careful/shows negative traits less. he has a pretty good reputation, and a lot of his Brand relies on being likable

the biggest actual difference is sung's a raging homo, which ofc isn't public knowledge

introverted extrovert. most would class him as an extrovert, but he really needs the time to have a cool down period

plots:

sung loves to read, so fellow readers are an easy connection

cares Very Much about music and dance. while he's a known kpop gg stan, he has a decent range of taste in music. over his idol career, he's developed a strong love for songwriting and choreographing to where at this point he's not particularly interested in releasing anything his hands Haven't touched. this is a great place for other diehards/creatives to connect, but also where sung's negative traits could come out. he could be quick to judge someone's commitment level and react poorly due to it

it'd be Lovely to fill the role of a choreographer that sung really respects and has a close relationship with. preferably not an idol for this one, but they would be the person who co-choreographed and starred in sung's move! i see this relationship as one where their passions about dance line up very well and it was an instant connection. they could have worked together at other points as well, like choreographing for bsides for his first solo concert

that said, would also love other dancers that he keeps on retainer for releases and performances! as he cares so much about his ~art~ he really wants to keep those he feels align with his work. so the same faces pop up a lot. he's very loyal and gives flowers (mostly metaphorical but literal too) to all staff and crew, whether they're on stage with him or not

also loves romantic dramas. he's less knowledgable in other fields (least knowledgable in horror) but still partakes. he's just more likely to sims 4 get famous scream and faint over a romance actor

any athletes i am so sorry to tell u this gayby has no clue who you are

other survival group members! idt i'll make it an official wanted ad since i left everything so vague, but there are so many directions for that. i also Headcanon jsj (the temp group) to being a pseudo sibling group with rhiannon and yebin's viv:id 🤓

i'd love for another vivid member to come and be the feat on sung's song be your enemy! yebin was karina in want and rhi was seulgi on heart stop so it'd be fun to continue the trend

another negative place to come from could be just catching sung on a bad day back when he was pushed as a model in his og company. he was very worn out, discouraged, and idk teen hormones im sure didn't make it easier. on the flip side, someone supporting him then would be lovely

the easiest way to tick sung off without much effort has to do with politeness. he gives a lot more grace to foreigners, but really doesn't stand for it from born koreans

i mention negative ideas most since those are hardest for nice muses BUT in gen, sung is kind of a 'friend of the industry' guy. though, especially when he was younger, he had a hard time picking up on cues from people that they didn't want to be friends. he's pretty full on and touchy straight away. loves him a little cuddle

with romance, he's a chronic falling in love with friends-er. but he's also a True hopeless romantic so a guy says smth nice to him once and he walks away with a little bit of a crush 9/10 times. doesn't tend to go for his best interests, so negative romantic r/s are welcome too (past or present)

also he had a gf sometime when he was around 16-18, so that could be fun to play with!

#thefourintro

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mihai-florescu · 2 years

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Hi as my designated Madara mutual could you tell me about Double Face pls also hi hope you’re having a wonderful day ily

Omg hii yes well. What do you know already? I'll give the quick tldr of their first event: Kohaku was tasked to investigate a shady producer, Madara was also interested in this man's downfall because of his connections to Leo, so the 2 joined forces to take down gfk under the name Double Face (which was initially used yeeears ago by Godfather to form a duo but it didn't stick cuz the other person died. I'm sure that's um. Irrelevant though...👁👁)

They continue Double Face even though initially it was supposed to be a one time teamup situation and they investigate Ibara and Valkyrie in Antique Legend. Their dynamic works because they both have quite dark backgrounds, Kohaku's assassin family and Madara's whole yakuza-police-cult childhood. So neither reaaally fits into "normal society" although Kohaku's more well adjusted since 1. He was shielded from much of the family's business, for better or worse, and 2. He has Crazy:B as well. So, despite initially not wanting to team up, in the end Kohaku's the one pushing Madara to open up and realise he's not as alone and damned as he thinks. Tfw a 15 yo is more emotionally mature than you. Rip😔

In Secret Service, Madara and Kogaku have a reaaally good showdown, I cannot even begin to describe it, I really recommend reading it. Kohaku threatening to kill Madara (who had formed an alliance with Gatekeeper to ensure he progresses in SS) since their duo was only formed by coincidence and they're not even friends and Madara being certain Kohaku can't follow through with the threat is something you have to experience yourself, i'm still wrapping my head around it rereading from time to time. Secret Service has some of my favorite quotes exploring Madara's loneliness.

I think the last story they were both in is Spring Evening's Respite where Madara tries to shut down Double Face by faking a (i dont remember exactly) journalist or blogger or paparazzi that is alegedly capable to figure out his and Kohaku's pasts if they gain more traction as a unit, so it's better to just disband now. Which was another one of his attempts at distancing himself from people cuz he thinks he'll inevitably hurt them but Kohaku calls him out on this and doesn't let him end Double Face so easily. They have a live where df, crazyb and mam all perform (and 2wink but we're not focusing on them rn) and i really love that they got to participate with All of their units. Even brought back MaM! And that's it, we're up to date, I'm sooo curious what their next story will be like.

#ask #enstars #crane🌺

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goldentemplariumcrow · 2 years

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What I'd say about your blog: very open, easy to follow when it comes to writing. I know they're assassin creed based off your description, but im getting more DC vibes given all their interactions! Overall I'd say nice to see on the dash and see all the relationships they have

@dandeliicns

I'm still mainly AC based and all my boys' interactions with DC-based muses are placed in one of my two-and-a-half crossover verses. All the bases for all my muses are Assassin's Creed, but I find the gaps where both verses can meet and play along fascinating.

I also RP mostly on those because well... The AC community's last boom in roleplayers happened with AC Syndicate and since then, is kind of comatosed, with sporadic bloomings and quick withdraws like when AC Origins and AC Odyssey came out. The RPC kind of went downwards and the number of roleplayers became smaller and ever more selective, which left me with close to no options of what to do, I could stay in the toxic enviroment where people would treat me bad for playing original characters (there are exceptions and you all know who you are, I love you all for your time and patience with me, specially those who have been with me for so long you even know my old blog), or try to find other ways to keep my muses alive while being true to their origin and background.

I came in contact to the DC fandom by RPing with a friend who's not around anymore, they played a Talon version of Dick Grayson who they named Nightraven and since I like knowing more about my partners muses and worlds, I ended up starting to branch out.

My friend isn't around anymore, Covid got them, but they introduced me to a world where I made some of the most meaningful friendships I could ever ask for. @nerdybirdboy , @rxsurrxcted and @strategiic were the first ones to really give me a chance around the fandom, they were super nice and kind enough to hear my ramblings, correct me when I got something wrong in my understanding of their muses and universe, then came @lostxndbroken who showed me I didn't need to be afraid of approaching others and ask for RP even though I knew nothing of their muse, @celerem followed with talking to me and assuring me that I wasn't an inconvenience or bother for not going full -DC-verse, that it was fine to want to keep my muses' AC connections, I had lots of fun with @lcbotomy with the concept of how Dio kind of is already so done with everything that he just goes with the flow and likes to see the world explode from times to times, and I didn't RP much with @thecursedhellblazer because I'm way too awkward to ask for it when tumblr keeps eating notifications and so I miss the threads, but I appreciated every little interaction John and Dio had; lately, there's been @chaoticxgays too, who so kindly let me RP with them and I have a blast with our plotting and talking headcanon (and naughty-naughty stuff too xD), @flashgotthis , @speedsterredhead , @whxlmedwing and @yetanotherhubblog all who have been around and I can't wait to have threads with all of them, I love to see how creative they are, even if some of them scare my living soul out of my body with the amount of muses they have (I'm scared by big numbers due to past bad relationships, but I'm always willing to try again and again until it works!).

The tldr; is that I just feel welcome in the little corner of this community I accidentally carved for myself, even if I know I'm an outsider and will never not be one, since I remain faithful to my humble beginnings and muses' backgrounds. That's just how the cookie crumbles on my side, the quality time I spend with those who approach me or allow myself to approach them is all that matters to me, and it's what keeps me around.

I love to RP and chances are, if I'm allowed, I'll never stop. It's a passion of mine and I just change my enviroments and carry on the friendships I made on the way as I move from one fandom to another, which is often a long process, because I don't let myself be taken by hypes.

On that note, I hope I managed to explain how it all happened and why I'm here, in the line between DC and AC ♡ Also, feel free to DM me and stuff. I'm still open to RP with your boos~

#》ooc #//sorry everyone who were mentioned #//you're all so important to me that i can't help but gush a little bit about you all ♡

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scoups4lyfe · 2 years

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if you can't liveblog then it's fine that you can't!

AWWWWW

*BRO*

(♡μ_μ).

Ngl while my sis's cancer diagnosis is like surreal as sh*t, right now everything is looking REALLY good. (I'll expand on this in SS-anon's ask that I see out of the corner of my eye <33)

Some hearts for y'all beloved homie(s):

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

But damn I'm sorry y'all. Like yeah I'm always a lying liar that lies when I say things like "Gonna liveblog tonight" [3 days no word] LOL.

See I have a multi-layered problem that consumes my time faster than GIff consuming Squid.

Yeah, life (lol). But for me it's a mix of my ADHD fking me up sideways and a little to the right.

I always feel like things would flow much smoother if I was more transparent and just live-blogged every now and again what I'm doing like "LoL at work yee YEE". Cuz then at least you'd get a feel for what exactly I'm doing instead of like the three days of silence.

(Three being a metaphorical representation of any number to infinity)

But why it takes me so long boils down to three things (for myself and productivity) ---

(1) Time Blindness (this one ALWAYS gets me LOL)

you would not believE how fast a day can go for me. Like these weeks have been flying by so quick I feel like I'm drownin (rip)

(2) The clock and expectation mixing together gives me an unfortunate bout of anxiety.

Like I rlly love and appreciate every1 that follows and enjoys and engages with my liveblogs lol. It's really such a highlight being able to share my thoughts and just go fan-crazy with other ppl who *GET* it, y'know? And it is also SUCH a motivator.

But tumblr's media limit shot me with adrenaline. Where (with my time blindness lmao rip) I always feel like I'm in a race against the clock to post as much as I can before it hits midnight (and everything resets)

So if its like 10pm the amount of anxiety spikes that shoot through me if I even glance at the clock and put any care on time is like insane actually. I guess "adrenaline" is more correct than anxiety, but it def has an anxious edge to it.

And I don't really care about anxiety cause I'm not an anxious person. A lot of people actually call me too laid back /lackadaisical.

But the problem is that if I get these spikes they almost immediately send me into a mixed state.

(Lol no idea if y'all even kno what that is so:)

And if I get into a mixed state oooooooooo. Well lets just say those are the times where I have the tumblr tab open along with like 20 other tabs, and then I proceed to spend 42-75 hours without sleep obsessed over something random and unimportant.

(last week I was looking at BJD --hAH. That I can't even afford smh. WHY. And I did this for at least 42 hours without sleep. ).

....This post is getting too long so:

TLDR;

I work a job but since I'm a writer (in my own time), I need to write/edit, and also I need to practice drawing -- And these can take up an incredibly long amount of time if I don't set alarms LOL.

Then combine that with ADHD, and bi-polar episodes and WOO. We are truly partying >:)). And THEN combine that with life responsibilities and things like my physical health issues --directly relating to food allergies, which are always ready to duke it out with me in the yard.

(Below is a journal entry from when I was in a mixed episode)

(If I don't seriously monitor when I last ate and how much I ate my blood sugar drops and I get brain fog that makes it literally impossible for me to think or retain anything in my mind past 5 seconds.)

#I mean I def get distracted do other things LOL #I'm literally making the stupidiest revice ppt rip #and also working on revice fanfiction / drabble #one requested by you mxbbadperson #mxbbadperson #anons #kronthescoup #my thougts #kamen rider revice #ikki why is ur demon so cringe #kamen rider #revice liveblog #4lyfe #asks #inbetween baths #bath 34 #revice

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solidwater05 · 7 months

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Following up on my previous "ask" about "punctuationverse";

I would indeed appreciate some explanations of the events, as you offered. Reading through the accounts you linked is a vigorous task, or at least a time spending one.

-S.

[PT: I would indeed appreciate some explanations of the events, as you offered. Reading through the accounts you linked is a vigorous task, or at least a time spending one. /End PT]

(If you want me to color-code any of this to make it easier to read just tell me!)

Alright! The most important event that still has repercussions today was the Sun Blackout, which luckily already has a tldr I can link (it doesn't have plain text tho, tell me if you need it!).

There's been quite a few apocalyptic events, so I'll only explain the ones that are related to current events. If you want to know more, Prof's (@/character-profiles) #epprbcu event tag has a few more tldrs like the one I linked

So, because of a series of code related shenanigans, the @/plus-minus-contingency (know as The Contingency or just ± back then, currently know as Genny) was awoken. They were sent by the devs, and they were extremely violent and sadistic. They would approach NPCs and game functions at random, and would ask them if they were 'following their purpose'. Since they were all sentient, the answer was always no, so Genny would attack them, but she never killed them. It just terrorized them

One of their victims was @/epcuartbook (known as Art back then, now known as Artemis). Since their first encounter, Artemis hated Genny.

At some point, some 'apostles' that claimed to follow Genny appeared. Despite being associated with the ± symbol, they don't actually follow Genny and just do whatever they want. Namely manipulating people for the sake of it.

Eventually, some anons started giving gifts to Genny, which helped her discover that she is a trans woman, and it was eventually revealed that repressed dysphoria was causing her to be so violent. She changed her ways now and she's pretty friendly!

Artemis, however, was manipulated by two apostles to still believe her to be irredeemably evil. She's full of wrath and will not listen to anyone who contradicts what the apostles say to her. She took over Genny's old Citadel, now called Bastion, and she's hellbent on killing Genny to 'be a hero'. Her dad (who is also her warlock patron), @/zigsaw-puzzle, is an eldritch horror that tore the Bastion off the ground and makes it move so. yeah she's pretty scary

Artemis is (or was??) dating @/semi-headless-semicolon, who has PTSD from the war they died in centuries ago, and they have a lot of tension because of this. Y'know, with Artemis wanting to go to war so badly

I don't know if this makes a lot of sense, sorry if it doesn't! I missed some of the things that happened between Genny's transition and Zigsaw making the Bastion walk and I just kinda filled in the blanks-

Currently, there's another character trying to take away people's sentience to make them 'follow their purpose'. reSet from @/settinggeneral. Artemis has already killed him once, but he'll come back

For some quick backstory, there was this guy called Set, who was the settings menu. He eventually split in two parts: Amar, and another one also called Set. What happened in their past is still unclear? But basically Amar wasn't sentient until she fused with Set, and she never liked sentience, so she resents Set. She tried to kill him, and she realized only at the last second that she didn't actually want him to die. But he was already dead.

Now, I'm not exactly sure what happened, but Set, in his death, made some kind of pact that backfired quickly, because it resulted in reSet. Set himself is trapped, barely able to communicate with a few people who have the knowledge necessary to hear him. Or at least this was the case until Artemis killed reSet, I know that reSet will come back from death, but I'm not sure about Set himself

#punctuationverse #epprbcu #!cu #not tagging everyone I talked about #ice speaks #ask tag goes here #anon ask #S.#long post #this makes sense in my head #but idk if it makes any sense outside of it #lmao

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addershade · 4 years

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A Semi-Stuctured Rant on Antishipping, Fujoshi Culture and the monetization of Homosexuality in Japanese and American Media

Antishippers are homophobic and it's bothering me. But also so are fujoshis and that bothers me too

Part One: Antishippers

Where there sails a ship ship so to the antishippers let fly their flags. A common argument I see painted on the bows of their warships is 'This character hasnt been stated as gay yet don't ship them with them.'

This is such a problematic sentence I don't even know where to begin. The fact that people view the default state of sexuality as 'straight until declared gay' creates the stigma that being homosexual is in some way deviant or taboo.

As an example: nobody has a problem with Todoroki being shipped with Momo despite them having minimal character interaction and very little shared dialogue in the show. Yet because they have been seen together in one (1) episode it has even been assumed canon on the same level as Izuku and Ochako which it quite simply is not.

Compare this to Bakugo and Kirishima who have several scenes together, most in even more intimate settings than Todoroki and Momo (study date, walking home at sunset together, the money scene, the rescue, I could go on) yet since the creator has not OUTRIGHT stated that either of these two are gay they have been assumed straight. Antishippers never go after TodoMomo in the same way they do KiriBaku.

I've seen people go as far as to say it would never happen, the creator would never do something so radical as to include one (1) gay couple. Despite the already pretty strong LGBTQ+ presence in the show with characters like Tiger, Big Sis Magne and Toga. These three have their own problems (an issue for another time) but they are there and that's a big step forward that people like to forget about.

Also, is the concept of 'we don't get good gay representation in the media so we write our own' really such a hard thing to grasp? Because it shouldn't be. Gay representation in media is scarce and even if its there it might not be handled sensitively (cough cough banana fish cough) and people naturally would want to go out of their way to provide it for themselves. Because representation is important. Straight, cis, white men really wouldn't understand because they are represented in literally everything all the time so I geuss they can't really fathom not being able look at the main character and go 'it me.' Which is why they put up such a fuss about every single time a woman is cast as the lead role. In anything. But I digress.

My point is basically this: Characters with undefined sexualities are obviously going to draw people in and be used as a comfortable, familiar and interesting starting point to create someone you can resonate with on a deeper level. Especially if there's nothing contradicting your head canon. And even if there is, who cares? There's plenty of straight characters already, representation is not pie and also they aren't real people so thats an extra helping of 'it shouldn't bother you.'

Oh I forgot to mention this rant only extends to fictional character antishippers because I think shipping real people is icky and shouldn't happen regardless of sexuality.

Part Two: Fujoshi Culture

Yes there are straight gals and guys that fetishise it (the male version is a fudanshi at least get it right people) and that's gross and unforgivable please stop doing it.

I would argue however this epidemic is caused by the fact that media, eastern and western alike, refuses to normalise gay relationships. Which means they see it as this sick fetish thing and call it 'sinning.' The literal terms fudanshi and fujoshi are derogatory and paint enjoying 'yaoi' as a guilty pleasure, something to be ashamed of and ridiculed.

And I'd bet my bottom dollar that Japan would want to keep it that way because it does work to sell their mangas.

Nagisa really sums up the whole issue in 50 percent off here's the clip:

https://youtu.be/c_xwtbrXbZM

youtube

Part Three: Western Focus

I just want to point out how half hearted and overly subtle these relationships have to be, like you're sneaking it past the republicans like the producers dirty little secret.

Good examples from both sides are Bubbeline, KoraSami, All of Voltron and Literally Any Gay Man In Anime Except Yuri on Ice. Although Yuri on Ice is still pretty coy about admitting that their characters are in a gay relationship.

KoraSami, Bubbeline and Shiro x Shiro's flashback buddy are all western depictions. Being gay in western media is much less commercialised and much less marketable, which is why the main issue with all of these were the writers pushing for something that was then only really confirmed either in: a very heavily fought for kiss last episode or the love story told entirely in (two bros chilling in a hot tub style) flashbacks where said love interest dies in the same episode. None of these are good representation and I don't think I have to spell out why.

Anyway this is another video that sums it up better than I can

https://youtu.be/TOj4WfQPNlk

youtube

Part 4: The Bad, The Worse and the Ugly

tw: s*xual a*sault mentioned (part 5 is safe)

I'll be quick

Anime like Banana Fish and Black Butler really like to perpetuate the stereotype that gay men are only gay because they have been r*ped by sick, twisted older men.

As a gay man who has been s*xually a*ssulted in the way that they like to pretend defined my sexuality I can say that this is insulting, triggering and Never. Ever. Handled. Properly. Anime has some issues with sexuality as a whole but it really takes the cake when characters like Ash are abused in real time in the anime and then it's used to 'justify' their promiscuity with men moving forward.

Banana Fish in no way handles the sexual assault tactfully, no matter what people have said to me.

This is an extract I agree with heavily from a pretty well written article (Banana Fish spoilers) :

I mentioned earlier the finale sent an awful message to new viewers. Ash’s story was about survival so for him to easily give up, in the end, sent a horrible message to survivors of sexual violence because it not only told them a moment of vulnerability would get them killed, but the only way survivors could find any peace was through death. The fact that Ash gave up, told survivors they could never escape from their traumas and despite all their efforts, they would never be able to heal from their abusive circumstances.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thatnerdyboliviane.com/2019/01/21/banana-fish-a-bittersweet-experience/amp/

'Kill your gays' is a bad trope in any case but really was an especially poor choice here.

Part 5: Sex Sells and Gay Sex Advertises

I've mentioned above how manga and anime likes to package gay relationships into problematic little bundles and sell it to straight women as a curiosity or oddity. But I really think that it needs to be talked about more. Things shouldn't be more interesting to you just because they're gay, and fetishising minorities is never okay in any context.

I think it's important to note that really the attitudes in both Western and Japanese media are actually the exact same. That being, Gay people are 'others' and should at all costs be hidden away into corners. The only real difference is that Japan is known for selling that kind of content, lumping it in the same category as tentacle hentai and... I don't know any other categories but the point stands. Whereas western media tends to just sequester it into a corner and hope it gets past censorship boards and Karen's. Money is at the forefront of both of these descisions.

It's a real problem that both sides of the anime culture are so problematic. One side is way too into it and the other can't begin to process it.

Here's a video by the same person that covers basically the same ground that's concerning me so much.

https://youtu.be/t3FKlqDocQ4

youtube

Part 6: In conclusion

I feel like this is something that is worth being angry about. I'm just sick of how being gay is treated at the moment in anime, tv and film, and how it's being received by straight audiences. The LGBTQ+ community barely seems to get a real say half of the time because people are too busy being head over heels that the author confirmed in an interview that a character is bi or gay but never follows through with it in universe. Or when you try and create content for yourself and get criticised like you were supposed to be happy about what little representation you get in mainstream media. Like shows do the bare minimum and then we're supposed to be happy about it. But I ain't. And I don't think many other people are either.

TLDR:

Gay people being treated like a taboo little secret on both sides of the issue is insulting and gross and never leads to anything good.

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