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thewriterg · 1 year

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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬, 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. pt.3

pairing(s): simon ‘ghost’ riley x fem!reader, john ‘soap’ mactavish x fem!reader, simon ‘ghost’ riley x john ‘soap’ mactavish, force 141 x black!reader, r is referred to as ‘grim’

summary: These missions never go as planned is what you tell yourself after every stealth/informational mission you’ve been on in your career now after shooting down everything that moved in that alleyway you can ignore the pain in your chest Ghost and Soap however can not

word count: 3.4k+

warning(s): Red Room AU, slowburn-ish, past SA, past abuse, kidnapping, violence, weapons, childhood trauma, trauma in general, teen pregnancy, child loss, abduction, death, blood, destructive behavior, mentions of self harm, polyamory relationships, and language

A/n:—GIFs @slowillusion & @daniel-bruehl—

There was red ringing in your ears, something that didn’t simply come from the repeated bullets coming out of your gun no. You’d been used to by now it was a white noise to you that never seemed to never leave your life

You’ve even felt the siring pain that made its way into your shoulder in places more than one on or in your body you however have never felt such… rejection your body was beginning to put up

You’ve always welcomed death with open arms but you’d always manage to slip past the Grim reaper even though you’ve touched hands more than a normal person should in a life span

You’d really wish Soap and Ghost would stop screaming your name you just wanted peace with your thoughts and they were very aggravating to be disrupting such a personal moment alone with your thoughts

“There you go bonnie, that’s it lass open your eyes.” When was Soaps voice so… pretty? It was soft and you heard it coming from your left unlike the heavy breathing coming from your right where Ghost applied pressure to your shoulder

You weren’t completely out of it… you knew you were in the alley, you knew you were with two of your comrades, and that you were here because of a stealth informational mission

But of course

Just like you said

These missions never went as planned.

And now you were laying on the cold concrete a small pool of blood soaking the strap of your dress

You felt weak for letting anyone see you this vulnerable

It was disgusting.

So from laying on your back to putting your hand on the Scotsman’s shoulder propelling yourself up with a heavy breath as the two men yelled in disagreement

“You need to watch yourself sergeant” It was Simon’s gruff voice now that voided your ears as you rolled your eyes before meeting his blue ones that were wide and frantic almost

almost

“Been shot plenty, doesn’t bother me like it used to” You grumbled your words slightly slurring together as your hand still rested on Soaps shoulder and Ghosts forearm

“The trucks not far, I can make it” Your voice left no room for arguing and the only thing the men could do was help you to your feet in assistance hissing at you along the way if you tried to take over

Once you got to your feet your head span in circles and almost knocked you right back on your ass but you stood tall and suddenly the stilettos you wore felt like pins in your foot

Not that they didn’t before

“Fuckkk” The groan erupted from the back of your throat without your permission

“Fuck this, Johnny you got my six” Ghosts voice raided your ears before you were swept from the ground pressed against Simons chest as he held you bridal style his voice left no room for any objections and have you been in a better position you would’ve kicked him in his nuts for putting his hands on you

but here you all were

Ghost carrying you out of the alley

Soap occasionally letting bullets fly from a pistol if an enemy tried to erupt from the shadows

And You

Little ole you

Your groans were the only thing Ghost could bring himself to hear

Not Johnny shouting at a enemy

Not the gunshots that flew past his temples

Not the gravel that crunched and groaned under his weight

But your noises of discomfort

“I know Grim. I got you” His deep voice shielded your body’s as you ran through crossfire your lids began to get heavy and his fingers began to slip

But you didn’t close your eyes

And he didn’t drop you from his hold

💌💌💌💌

Your head felt fuzzy and the next thing you knew you were approaching the truck as Ghost flung the door open wide almost ripping it from its hinges and Soap throwing himself into the drivers seat starting the car and throwing it in drive before Simon could get himself in the vehicle fully

Your eyes fluttered o p e n and closed as the lieutenant applied a cracking pressure on your shoulder and collarbone growling at you to keep your eyes o p e n… to keep your eyes on him

You both knew you were failing

“Johnny step on it!” He shouted

“I am!” He called back

“You keep your damn eyes open Sunshine!”

Sunshine?

You couldn’t bring yourself to think about the fact that Ghost the infamous Simon Riley the man that you unknowingly competed over the years with as people argued over which one of you held the title of a human Grim Reaper just called You sunshine

Your eyelids felt like weights so you finally put the dumbbells down letting your eyes close

💌💌💌💌

You sat in a chair at a table staring at the ceiling of the room you tried to ignore your senses around you and it usually worked where you went void of the world.

But it wasn’t

Because people didn’t get the damn hint

Especially Daisy.

You wouldn’t say she was your rival in all honesty she was fighting with herself, but sometimes you would humor her and feed into whatever antagonization she wanted to portray

Daisy was a brunette with shoulder length hair when it wasn’t in a strict bun bangs resting just above her brows, pale skin, and rosey lips. She was only an inch or two shorter than you and even then it wasn’t very noticeable.

It was a cycle the both of you repeated

You would crack either one of you would crack and it was mostly Daisy you’d fine one another on the roof or at the gun range ready to jump or blow your brains out with a cigarette in hand and very few words talking each other off the ledge each time

You were the Grim Reaper you would be standing over her as genially as possible her soul in your arms as you carried her away as gently

She was the the flowers and vines that would wrap around your dead body shielding you from humanity’s grasp never dying always up and vibrant

Even though you were each others rival, enemy, arch nemesis, or even guilty pleasure. You were each others.

(You'll break that foot that you're standing on I'll walk with the other one)

“You’re just Jealous Y/n.” You finally looked over to the girl your eyes no longer directed at the ceiling you weren’t supposed to know each others names that was if you could remember your name some girls were brought in at young ages where they couldn’t remember their own names only the ones that were forcefully given to them

Even if you did remember your name you were not to use it and if you were caught doing so you would be executed they left no room for misconstruction or imperfections

But here you both were.

(do what you want to, do what you want to, be what you want to.)

“Because I got better, because I have a chance.” Her voice was barely above a whisper as she looked down at you smugly and small smirk on her pink lips

“They didn’t let you go on that mission because you were better Daisy, they just gave up on trying to make you better.” You stood from your seat and her smugness barely faltered as she just slightly moved her brows to her hairline tilting her head shrugging her shoulders before you walked away

💌💌💌💌

Suddenly you were up, wide awake.

Your dress was up to your upper thigh keeping your underwear covered as someone pressed down on the syringe the rest on the way down with way more force than needed it was stim shot

You were up but you were so down

You couldn’t move but you couldn’t close your eyes all you do was breath heavily and dart your eyes frantic as uncomfortable noises e s c a p e d muffled from your sealed mouth

“I know lass we got you, I got you.” It was Soap who held you now cradling you like an infant the Scotsman observed your glossy eyes and jagged breaths as you slightly twitched in his arms

You weren’t fighting to stay alive.

You never were.

“L.T!” The brunette shouted

“I KNOW JOHNNY!” The blonde yelled back

The truck scurried to the closet entrance of medbay they could find Simon jumped out the car not bothering to shut the door running to the other side of the vehicle flinging the door open as Johnny kicked it with his foot

Ghost took your body into his arms and you began to feel sick the way your limp body was bouncing up and down in his hold as he began to sprint bursting through the doors of the corridor

“I need a medic! Medic!” It wasn’t long before nurses and doctors were swarming him having to practically rip you from his tight grasp promises on top of promises you would be alright

those were just promises

it’s always promises that leave to mayhap

mayhap is a possibility it leads to; maybe, might, probably, even sure

Not; yes, for sure, without a doubt, and affirmative

Simon Riley didn’t want promises he wanted affirmatives

His hands stained with your blood some of it dried under his fingernails he barely could acknowledge Soap his white suit now staining crimson as they watched the team of medics roll you away on a bed

Ghost couldn’t register Prices hand on his shoulder and Soap couldn’t register Gaz’s concerned pleas to tell him what happened and no one bothered with König’s glossy puppy eyes as he stood in the corner

💌💌💌💌

“What the hell do you want from me Daisy!?” You screamed throwing a glass vase Meer of five feat from where she stood as she flinched a gasp rolling from her tongue out of her mouth into the open air

The brunette backed away in steps as you stalked closer until her back finally hit the the wall with a thump and you could visibly see her swallow thickly staring up at you with glassy puppy dog eyes

“Your either here because you want me to you want me to fight you or you want me to fuck you and we both know you hate my guts so get the fuck out of my room.” You weren’t screaming anymore but your voice was low and had a dangerous underline to it

It made Daisy Dizzy

As you went to walk away like you always did a hand caught your sleeve and you slowly turned back around to see the brunette darting her eyes around the room like she was contemplating what to do

Her eyes finally met yours

She reeled you in

Pressing a shy kiss to the corner of your mouth

You stared down at her for a second a second to long Daisy thought as she went to shy away

But you didn’t let go

Instead her soft jaw landed in your hands as you kissed her rosey lips soon to turn red you couldn’t think

Her legs wrapped around your waist and your hands wrapped around the base of her throat she left kisses on your neck and scratches down your back until it rubbed raw

You were both drowning together in the most enjoyable way possible

💌💌💌💌

Your senses came to you one by one first it was the smell of bleach and cold. The type of cold that doesn’t chill your body but bones and the thoughts in your head

Second was your sense of touch you felt the cotton sheets under your exposed back and yet your front was covered in thin sheet like wear you could also feel the IV needle in your wrist

Third was the taste of sandpaper in your mouth it was dry and scratchy going down your throat water would barely do anything for the quench

Next was your hearing, the sound of the heart monitor steadily beeping and could imagine the green pixelated lines steadily going up and down in a pattern

Last was your sight you were reluctant to open your eyes you’d been in this position before the bright lights after days of darkness were a pain you’d never forget but you did it anyway peel your eyes open with a small squint relief flushing through your veins at the dim room before you began to scan your surroundings

It was empty in your room to the common eye, but that was the common eye. Not the eye of hard cold trained assassin working in the military

Simon sat in a chair just in front of the wall still as a sniper locking eyes with a target and that’s what is was like he’d been waiting, observing, yearning to see your eyes lock with his

When you looked at him you could notice the rough look in his eyes not like lack of sleep it didn’t take a genius to know that your lieutenant wasn’t getting any sleep no how it wasn’t the physical tiredness

The type of tiredness you’d be fighting for days in your head going back and forth with the voices until you just give up and let them scream in you ear as you watched the world past by silently

“You called me sunshine” Your raspy voice stopped Ghost in his tracks his lanky yet buff arm reaching for the ‘nurse help’ button as he met your eyes once again

“You’ve been out for two days, doctor says You should be dead with all the blood you lost”

‘There he goes again, that bastard.’

You’ve slipped past him again why won’t the son of a bitch just take your hand and leave your shell of a body here you couldn’t begin to space off as Simon held a un-opened bottle of water to your lips and as you tried to grab it yourself the lieutenant shook your hand away pressing the rim of the bottle to your mouth

You finally caved in staring at the swaying liquid through the plastic bottle as some of its contents slipped into your mouth down your throat disintegrating the dry sandpaper in your throat

You dared to look up why? You had no clue. But you did see blue eyes staring back at you you could finally take him in more he had on a black hoodie which covered his mane of hair along with the simple black balaclava on his face

Had you lost feeling in your face? You own balaclava rested on the tip of your nose as you greedily swallowed the water the fabric touching over your skin you barely breathed your heart monitor dropping off slightly until You finally began to pull back a Ghost let up

“Team is worried about you Price had to pry Soap away from your side, Gaz’s locked up in his room blowing an eardrum with his headphones up so loud, and König can’t even bring himself to step foot in here keeps staring at the door like a puppy kicked out” You were silent which wasn’t abnormal but somewhat unusual

“They don’t mean it.” Four words, fourteen letters, seven vowels, and yet Ghost understood every underlying tone about it and it pissed him off heavy

“The hell they do Grim, I’ve been in here watching you waste away, nobody wants to eat food that’s not yours”

💌💌💌💌

“What are you doing Lass?” Soaps voice fell over your ears while you chopped up peppers on an old wood cutting board with a Nakiri Bocho knife in hand something you were surprised the base even had Gaz standing next to him also with a confused expression

“I’m not listening to any of you complain about your stomachs from eating that slop in the cafeteria, go tell Price and Ghost dinner will be done in fifteen and if they don’t come down here I will go up there” That was probably the most words you said in one setting Gaz thought to himself

Without another word the boys left to go do what you told them you never left any room for arguing and they knew that

“König set the table.” The fact you could demand a 6’10 soldier to do something and they would get to it no hesitation was a powerful thing but you might as well put him to use since he seemed to follow you everywhere like a lost puppy

💌💌💌💌

Ghost stood from his chair the legs of it pushing back scraping against the smooth white concrete floor at the motion with a loud ‘SCREEECH’

“Price has been smoking more Cigars then I can bring myself to count”

💌💌💌💌

You sat outside watching the horizon on the bench you had claimed as your own balaclava secured on your face and you didn’t bother to look over to your left to see Price sitting next to you smelling of pine and cigars with that God awful hat on his head

He didn’t utter a word and you appreciated the fact while the cigar smoke blew in your face as the wind pushed by carrying it away and one moment the brunette that was turning gray had a cigar in his hand and the next he didn’t as it rested against in between your fingers and you took a drag letting the smoke settle in your throat carrying between your lungs

“Smokings bad for your age don’t need you wasting away and earlier than you have to” Price chuckled at that shaking his head he knew what to do with kids soldiers like you he had to do it with Ghost and their relationship was successful

“Sure kid” The captain knew he had you right then and there as you both stared into nothing with one another

💌💌💌💌

“König is hunched over sulking because he doesn’t have anyone else to follow” Your eyes began to barely water you wouldn’t crack under a little yelling

But you eyes watered for the first time in years and that was too much progress for your liking

💌💌💌💌

You sat in the gun range with a cigarette lit in between your fingertips as you took a drag from the ‘cancer stick’ as you called it. König didn’t really understand if you knew the result of smoking the damn things then why did you do it anyway?

Your relationship was warming up when one day you just stopped in you tracks and demanded to know why the soldier was following you around everywhere like a ‘lost puppy or lovesick fool’

König couldn’t answer you as he stood there stuck in place thankful for the hood that covered his appearance as his face burned a pink and red and you simply rolled your eyes before beginning to walk away as the man just stood there

“Well Are You Coming or not because I’m hungry?” Your voice called out to him and he scurried following behind you as you both headed to the cafeteria

But that was about two months ago and this was now

The German mountain of man sat next to you letting the smell of smoke and gunpowder fill his nostrils

“König you should stay away from me” He snapped his head towards you at the statement already bombarding you with questions slipping through his teeth

“Im not good for you” You didn’t say anything more you didn’t go on a rant of self hatred you just simply sat there waiting for a reaction yelling, throwing things two inches away from your head, the degradation.

But it never came.

What did come was a large hand on your shoulder covering it while without so much a stretching it

“Unsinn, I’m not going anywhere Meine Taube. If you decide to change I’ll be there, if you stay your old special self I’ll always be there” König didn’t expect a response and he didn’t get one but you still sat there with him

And he knew he had you

💌💌💌💌

Ghosts hands held the white remote in them pressing the red ‘nurse help’ button before sitting down on the table on wheels

“I’ll tell the team you’re up” His voice was ice cold as he walked out of the room the door slamming shut behind him leaving you alone

All alone

Is all you know

Alone.

Alone..

Alone…

💌💌💌💌

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