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#smokingbomber writing
smokingbomber · 10 months
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RP Justice Speech Compilation
At a youma poetry slam: Heed my words, you heartless demon! Plans you've wrought through Coleridge schemin', still not fit for basic dreamin', break when faced with justice gleamin'! This missive you’ve delivered through apostrophic caesura… gonna find your metered scansion in the throbbing from a beating. And your boss, he stanza lone reciting antiquated poesy while your flow is deconstructed by a justice swift and rosy, and your sins against humanity and decency are dozy so they'll ever weigh you down so hard you'll never take a bow until your reign of fail is ended with a SAILOR MOON! NOW!
In civvies: Chocolate is a treat that brings pleasure to both palate and soul when enjoyed in moderation. I won’t forgive those who abuse its delicious flavor and rejuvenating qualities in the name of fear and supernatural intimidation! You are cowardly and perverse to twist such delight into terror. I, Chiba Mamoru, will be your opponent!
Standard justice speech: Beauty magazines should be used for stylish inspiration only, not as a judgement of worth! I won't forgive anyone who tries to hurt innocent people with a wrongful interpretation of loveliness!
To a giant monster in Tokyo Bay: Those who stir from the depths to disrupt the peaceful and enjoyable off-hours of hard-working students and heroines with slovenly and oversized misconduct are no more excused if they are kaiju than if they are simply bullies! I, Tuxedo Kamen, cannot forgive you!
At a youma quiz show: People wish for adulation and fame for the hard work they do to learn everything they can! To use this desire against innocent contestants and their friends and families who have come to support them is a crime! I, Tuxedo Kamen, shall not forgive you!
Whispered in the middle of the night at an orphanage: For pretending to be a pile of delightful snow in which children play with innocent laughter, I cannot forgive you!Whatever you are. I, Tuxedo Kamen, am your opponent! So chase me right now or we might wake up the kids!
Deadpan in civvies to a friend: Anyone who would dare to use cookies in such a violently non-delicious manner is unforgivable. I won't stand for it. You don't need to thank me for allowing me to help punish that creature for his evil intents.
To a cook villain: BASE TREACHERY! How dare you waste excellent cuisine! How DARE you seek to destroy the dreams of a young maiden dedicated to bringing the delight of gourmet cooking to appreciative palates! You are a CHILD, throwing tantrums at the idea of losing! And you will ALWAYS lose in the end!
To the same cook villain who made a nice youma: How dare you create a sweet youma from a child's treat, only to let her die in your service! HOW DARE YOU STEAL the inner heart of a young girl and try to gift it to your dark mistress?!
At a play audition: A young girl's heart is the home of dreams and wishes too pure and good for you to understand, but your wickedness is not excused by your ignorance! Hell-spawned creature of darkness, who has seduced and brainwashed innocent maidens and taken that precious innocence from them, I won't stand for this! For what you have done, there can be no punishment great enough to be sure justice is done-- death is too good for you! But your death shall serve to protect the future from your curse, from your predation, your depravity--!! YOU ARE UNFORGIVABLE!!
Standard justice speech: The aspirations of young girls are nothing to be toyed with or attacked, and to use them against one in order to take her energy is unforgivable! Let the powerful love of Runealy-san's friends violently demonstrate to you the error of your ways! Allies of justice, this is the work of the Dark Kingdom! Erase its impurities from this world!
When visiting a friend and finding a burglar: This is my friend's dorm! How dare you lurk in her sanctuary, waiting for her to come home so you can ambush her! Her dormitory room is a place of excellent cooking and terrible timing, and I, Tuxedo Kamen, won't forgive you for trying to ruin her day!
Standard justice speech: Nothing-– nothing is truly hollow; no ghastly sin is forever damning! I, Tuxedo Kamen, won't stand for despair! Not for those who bring it, and not for the despair in their own hearts!
Standard justice speech: Villains who use the sweet art of harmonic vocal expression to bolster the foul trespasses of a bully who apparently consumes sentient life, I will not forgive you! I, Tuxedo Mask, oppose your evil ways!
Standard justice speech: Happiness may be fleeting, but it will always return. However, when wise old women tell young maidens with broken hearts that there are many fish in the sea, they do not intend for those fish to then exit the sea and wreak havoc on land! For intentionally misinterpreting the lovingly given adages of those kindly people experienced in the ups and downs of lives lived with conviction and valor, you will not be forgiven! I, Tuxedo Kamen, will not stand for this gross injustice!
As an example versus Fiore for a redeemed Nephrite: Flowers have a language steeped in the history and tradition of secret love, and to twist those unspoken words into a message of hatred and destruction is unforgivable. You have taken the loneliness of a lost boy and disguised lies and maliciousness with a perverse mockery of the sweet perfume of floral linguistics, and I, Tuxedo Kamen, will not stand for it!
I'll kick my own ass: THE HOPES AND DREAMS OF YOUNG GIRLS ARE A PRECIOUS AND SACRED THING, AND IGNORING THEM IN FAVOR OF SELF-CASTIGATION IS A HEINOUS ACT OF VILLAINY THAT I WON'T STAND FOR. TUXEDO KAMEN, YOU HAVE BEHAVED UNFORGIVABLY! I, TUXEDO KAMEN, SHALL BE YOUR OPPONENT!
Jokingly, OOC: Those who break the rules of grocery store fast lane checkout lines are not only upsetting the social order but inconveniencing their fellow shoppers, who have joined the queue with the understanding that having fifteen items or less would allow them to escape the store and go home to make sandwiches for their loved ones in a timely fashion! Madoka Kaname, such behavior is unforgivable, and I won't stand for it! I, Tuxedo Kamen, shall be your opponent!!
On this blog: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! Love of, shipping of, and identification with the values and travails of fictional characters are wholesome and safe occupations in which fans of all genders and ages should be allowed to participate. Ostensible other fans who levy the terrible crush of hatred and oppression on innocent shippers and character-lovers, filling bright loving hearts with shame, darkness, and misery, and who spread this hatred to new fans who haven't yet been allowed to form their own opinions of the intellectual property in question, cannot be forgiven! I will not stand for such inconsiderate behavior! I, Smokingbomber, shall be your opponent!
Versus King Endymion in the breakup arc: AS WELL YOU KNOW, King, my love for Sailor Moon is a sacred thing: she is a girl of great strength, kindness and care, and I have fallen in love with her no less than three separate times! Once in the life before this one, whose name you bear now, once as her sweet and clumsy self who was brought up in the arms of a loving family, and once as the self-sacrificing and strong Senshi of Mystery, the soldier who embraces all! It is this unparalleled paragon of love that draws the lost from darkness which is not to be toyed or tampered with in the interest of excising my faulty communication preconceptions! How dare you use that love to create a situation that causes her pain, taking advantage of my appalling social integration, even to attempt to correct that terrible personality flaw! It is a gross miscarriage of justice, and will not be tolerated! I, Tuxedo Kamen, shall be your opponent!
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hi this is smokingbomber's main-- i just wanted to say i really really love what you're doing here ❤️❤️❤️
Hey there! It's so nice to meet you and I'm so glad you love it so far! I put a lot of thought into this story and a lot of time examining this character thoroughly. Dude, seriously, if you're being consistent with the 90s anime this character is wild to try and write canonically for lol. Interestingly enough I think his favorite band would be Queen. But I digress, Thank you soooo much for the compliment <3 I really really appreciate it.
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random-mailbox · 8 months
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I saw posts by @daikon1 , @lilliebellfanfics and @kaleidodreams for this meme and thought I would go through my bookmarks for AO3 and see what stories would fit into each one of these categories (since I don't write and all).
Fic Meme
Fic stats meme! 💌 rules: give us the links to your (bookmarked in my case) fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.
Most Hits: The Unintentional Seduction of Chiba Mamoru - @floraone
Most Kudos: i'll tell you my sins (and you can sharpen your knife) - @hedgewitches
Most Comments: The Boy Next Door - @idesofnovember
Most Bookmarks: Ikigai - @floraone
Most Words: Finding Love - @wildriverinthesky
Least Words: Light a Light - Kitsune_Moonstar
Tagging @master-ray5 @wishwars @smokingbomber @kasienda @areptiledysfunction1107
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senshilegionnaire · 3 years
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also hey have a whopper of an angsty Bart Allen elseworlds, dragged here out of 2012.
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COMMENCE SHITTY WRITEUP OF BG:
Born to Don Allen and Meloni Thawne, heir to the legacies of both Flash and Reverse Flash, Bart Allen was raised in the 30th Century in a big VR tank because only a computer could keep up with the speed at which he was aging. His grandmother Iris, wife of Barry Allen, broke him out when he was chronologically two and hit his teens because she was sure Earthgov wasn't interested in curing him, just in studying him. She spirited him away to the twentieth century so his grandfather could help with his speed issues, undershot, and wound up foisting him off on the then-current Flash, Wally West.
As Bart had been fond of saying, the codename he was given – Impulse – wasn't a name, it was a warning. He gained himself a reputation as having a heart of gold but being way more trouble than he was worth to work with. Nevertheless, as the years went on and he was in and out of the Titans and eventually mentored by elder statesman speedster Max Mercury, he grew up while no one was noticing. He was one of the founding members of 'Young Justice', a team of sidekicks and junior heroes, along with Tim Drake, Robin, and Kon-El, Superboy. They were his BFFs!! IT WAS RAD.
Crises continued, as they do, to hammer his reality. Time broke a lot, reality broke a lot, he time travelled, he found out he had a cousin in the Legion of Super-Heroes (XS!) and made friends with some and annoyed the heck out of others, and every time everything blew up he found out more about who he was, who his family was, and what he was capable of. Still, still, no one noticed he was growing up. He was still short, he still had big hair, he still had crazy ADD, and he still pulled pranks and had fun and was never ever grimdarque.
Enter Ra's al Ghul and the Worst Thing Ever. That rat finally got his way, managing to unleash a bioweapon that killed off roughly four fifths of the world population and every single superhero that was on the planet at the time. The only supers who got off the hook were the ones who were time travelling, offplanet, in another dimension, or… whatever, superheroes do a lot of weird things. But the point is it wasn't many. All his friends died.
Even Batman died.
When Bart came back to the present time – because obviously his friends in the Legion and his whole future history were still intact in Hypertime – the bioweapon's remnants had filtered away, cleaned by Mother Earth, just as Ra's had known they would. He's a speedster; it didn't take him long at all to figure out what happened, to figure out who was left. And it didn't take him long to put together, once he put his mind to it, who he needed. More than the Flash, more than Kon or Tim or Max, more than Superman or Zatanna or Wonder Woman– he knew he needed Batman to help him start to put the world back together.
So, having known about Ra's and his habit of resurrection, and its cause, due to both being friends with Robin and lots of crap happening before and being able to remember EVERYTHING, Impulse ran around and around and around the world looking for Ra's or a Lazarus Pit. He found both, and seconds later he was dragging Bruce's corpse in and dumping it into the bubbly goo–
–and Ra's, not at ALL having planned for this, and knowing he was dealing with a speedster, decided to blow it all up.
So *HE* died, Bruce /lived/ because he was crazysauce and rawr and supermighty from being resurrected and not sanity-ridden yet, Bart ran them both out and dropped Bruce in a lake in like Kentucky or something, and while he was waiting for Bruce to simmer down he looked and looked and LOOKED for another Lazarus Pit so he could start bringing other people back to life. He couldn't find any. Like at all.
Basically when he came back to where Batman was heartachily and despondently and grimly and Batmanily pulling himself out of the lake, he was crying and he couldn't stop. But it was just crying, not hysterics. He was able to explain everything. And even if metahumans annoy him, Bruce has, in fact, always had a soft spot for kids who've lost everything, and the explanation of what Bart had done when he came back? It was enough to convince Bruce that the kid was not, in fact, either a complete dip /or/ nearly as unreliable as he frequently portrayed. He'd had an idea, but this was proof. So yeah, he asked Bart if he actually -did- want to work with him to try to fix the world– and of course Bart /did/– and it was Bart who asked if he could keep Tim's boots warm until they could bring him back. If they could. Ever.
It was a WHOLE LOT of 'NO POWERS BART' training. And then fighting weird mutant Mad Max monsters and crime bosses who decided to build Thunderdomes and also Poison Ivy and the Fluoronic Man and whatever. They never /did/ find another Lazarus Pit. On the other hand, they were able to establish for realsies that that was in fact bits of Ra's al Ghul all over the place where the pit blew up, so he wouldn't be coming back either, at least.
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One seriously bad habit Bart had, and still has, but it was worse at the time, was running through the timestream to just– look. To see his friends again, where they were, in the past. Never to interfere, but always to look. He thinks Bruce knows.
They don't talk about it.
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jaskier-than-thou · 2 years
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Rating: Explicit 
Ship: Geraskier 
Tags: Under-negotiated Kink, Somnophilia, Comedy, Awkward Sexual Situations, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Jaskier has ADHD, Geralt has a Praise Kink, Loose Canon (get it?) 
Summary: Childe Geralt to the dark tower came (then came, eventually). Anyway he's there to rescue his husband Jaskier and kissing the prince doesn't work because the mage who did the curse was a complete tit. Things progress, as they do. 
(Written for Maya on the Witcher Bog) 
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Go read Conversations With Death. It’s SO GOOD you guys SO GOOOOD. I did a bunch of calligraphy and some pretty pictures for it but GUYS IT’S AN ELLORGAST FIC GO READ IT.
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chuplayswithfire · 3 years
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last line tag game, i was tagged by @smokingbomber
Rules: Write the latest line from your WIP and tag as many people as there are words in the line. Make a new post, don’t reblog.
And if you become a nothlit, you'll lose the only power Elfangor gave us to fight back."
@plotdesigner @steeple333 @raptorific
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starlingsinclair · 4 years
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This past fall I wrote a pretty awesome AU for the 2019 Senshi/Shitennou Reverse Mini-Bang. At some point, @smokingbomber prompted me to write this as an exercise, and I thought I’d polish it up. It is Mermay after all.
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smokingbomber · 1 year
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It was the nights when she was alone. Rare but nonzero -- one would think Neo Queen Serenity would never lack, at the very least, a cuddle partner. Only, sometimes there were scheduling conflicts on top of diplomatic assignments and then an emergency on top of everything else, and not even Diana was there to be warm and soft and breathing and heavy.
Rare, but sometimes it happened that Sailor Moon was alone with her thoughts, and the first thing that always bubbled up was a feeling which tinged everything that came after with a quiet, desperate horror and a piercing loneliness. It was what she felt when she was truly alone, with none of the others in the world with her. It was what she felt when she remembered what she'd seen at the airport, what she felt when she spoke with Sailor Cosmos at the Galaxy Cauldron. It was the taste of incomprehensible loss. Alone, alone, she never wanted to be as alone as Sailor Cosmos. She never wanted to be that sad, that filled with despair. But if that were going to be Usagi's life, to outlast everyone and everything she'd ever loved, then...
She would be alone, wouldn't she? To outlast even the Guardian of Time-- but she would never wish that fate on anyone, nevermind one of her beloved Pretty Soldiers, so better she did outlast them. That way they would die knowing she was all right, which seemed to make them happy when they'd died before.
She wouldn't be all right, though.
Alone, bereft. What she felt when they all went into the cauldron, one by one. When Galaxia pushed Endymion in-- pushed her Mamo-chan-- after bringing him back from already having killed him! In front of her! Truly, she should be used to loss, and possibly she should take into account that they've always come back before, but what if the next time they don't? What if she can't bring them back?
Would they outlive their planets? Would they come back, or would the Cauldron remake them entirely, not let them return as someone who'd remember? Could she bring them back from that?
Would they even want her to?
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floraone · 5 years
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A pretty random question, but what's your favorite piece of Sailor Moon merch?
So, I'M SORRY ANON THIS TOOK ME LITERALLY FOREVER TO ANSWER!
Anyway, I have a lot of Merch that I love and I totally did not manage to narrow it down to one. So here you get my top 4:
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My fountain pen and my chopsticks are in this list because of the amount of time I use them. They are my number one used pen and my number one used eating utensil. I use these almost every day and they make writing and eating special, lol???
And then there is that one particular dolce doujin in there. I have a few dolces, but this one is special because it came from @uglygreenjacket. Same goes for my little Mamoru and Usagi in wedding garb (AND TINY LUNA LOOK AT TINY LUNA) - I have a lot of Petit Charas and I love them all, but this one was a birthday present from UGJ and so it feels like the most special of them!
(But there are tons I didn't list that were friggin hard to choose from ok?!!! I have washi tape in the look of Usagi's blanket, you know??!!)
Anyway despite having trouble answering this I really liked the question and am curious as to what other people will say SO I'M TAGGING YOU and I want a long ass thread of beloved Sailor Moon Merch lol. @uglygreenjacket @irritablevowel @queenrisa14 @tinacentury @idesofnovember @kasienda @sparklemooniefun @mamaladykt @aurorafiberarts @nebelflecke @wishwars @graciiedancer @smokingbomber @purplesupersiren @guardians314 @haruka-usagi-forever @myindy13 @sessediz @she-dreams-in-pink @everythingelsewithoutreason @cassraven @shitennouland @astraearose93 @misselaineofoz @ladyayami Yes now I ran out of tagging space but WHATEVER I want you all to do this lol. Also if you weren't tagged.
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senshilegionnaire · 2 years
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in the woods at night, i stand with a carton of whole milk and a wadded-up cotton/poly blend t-shirt. it's old, the stretch is gone out of it and there are holes.
i'm alone in a circle i made with embroidery thread and piano wire, and under my feet is a hollow grief that i've been trying to plant for over a year now.
i take a drink from the open carton and look up. through naked branches, i can see into the light-polluted sky, where only the brightest stars are visible. the milk is fresh. i finish it.
my feet are cold. i should have worn socks; i can hear the accusation in the dull crackle of broken dead leaves. old habits die hard, and i'm still used to warm feet.
i place the old t-shirt on the ground, then throw the milk carton outside the circle but leave the cap. i take a reused plastic bottle of filtered tapwater out of my hoodie pocket and pour out three quarters into the cold earth.
it's enough filtered cool water to fill a corelle-wear cereal bowl.
i finish the last quarter of the bottle and crinkle it up flat to go back in my pocket, and the sound itself is a siren call.
there's no food to give, not that she'd deign to eat. there's the t-shirt, my favorite one; there's the milk cap, there's crinkling; i put down a hair tie.
there's no food, so the last element is the little wax paper envelope i filled from the last of the garden's harvest. it's strong enough that even i can smell it.
the contents get placed in the hollow under the t-shirt, and i step out of it but stay within the circle. i rest my fingertips in the cold damp dirt and scrub at my eyes with the heel of my other hand.
"if you won't let me go," i say and then stop, because my voice cuts with how flat and wingless it falls in the dark open night.
i huff out a sound that isn't a laugh because it's fingers digging into my heart. then i whisper and it's safer, "then come back. let me hear you between dreams and awake."
"sit on my feet in the night and keep them warm and heavy, sit on my hip or my shoulder and weigh me down warm and rumbling. yell at ghosts in the night. cry for me again and this time i'll answer. i promise this time i'll answer!"
my face is hot and stinging and wet, and my throat and nose are rucked up inside, inflamed, congested. i could barely breathe, her last two months. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry. all you wanted was to be with me at the end and i was sick--"
there's no answer. i sit on the cold ground in my circle of bright silk thread and dull oxidized wire, and i put my hot face in my cold arms, and i exist.
maybe she'll visit tonight.
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jaskier-than-thou · 2 years
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title: "i guess you're off the hook"
prompt: letters
pairing: geraskier
rating: g
warnings: sass
song written "by jaskier" for @themountainarchives (by smokingbomber at ao3)
Well is it really leaving you if you were never there? /
I was not deceiving you, just me, I thought you cared-- /
I should have understood it since you said a thousand times, /
"Hmm hmm hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm-mmm."
//
(chorus) Listen to this missive and I'll not say you did wrong /
The inns are always open, with beds and wine and song /
I'll likely have a place for you, if you decide to look /
Since no one wants the sad songs, I guess you're off the hook
(chorus)
Oh I'd be writing letters but I don't know where you go /
I only know we've parted ways each year before the snow /
But if I did, do you think that you'd open them and read /
Or would you see the sender and say "Hmm-mmm"
(chorus)
The kindest of my daydreams are at once so very cruel /
In them you send me letters and they say you were a fool /
You ask me if I'd meet you, I do and then we talk-- /
But there's the rub, I know you'd tell me "Hmm-mmm"
(chorus)
This song is just a lark, love, and I hope it finds you well /
When other bards perform my words I hope you'll sit a spell /
And maybe you will miss my care, but probably you won't /
'Til chamomile reminds you and you "Hmm-mm"
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About the Writer Tag!
Tagged by @radiowrites​ thank you hun!
Rules of the Game: Answer these questions and tag 20 8 blogs you’d like to know better.
Nickname: Saltine is my online persona, but I also go by zoi in the sailor moon bang chat
Zodiac: Cancer
Height: 5′9″
Time: 7:44 pm at the time of posting
Favourite band/artist: Uhhhhhhh Desired and Macross 82-99????? I just like music
Song Stuck in my Head: POP/STARS (it’s playing on my spotify rn okay leAVE ME ALONE,,,)
Last Movie I Saw: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH lemme get back to you on that
Last Thing I Googled: “tpn gillian”
Other Blogs: @saltedtypewriter​ is  my writing blog
Do I Get Asks: Very rarely, especially considering I only just came back to tumblr a short while ago
Why This User-Name: I used to rp as L.nce from v/d and my url had the word “salty” in it, and I’m very white so I joke about calling myself a cracker. Saltine just kind of stuck.
Following: 52
Average Amount of Sleep: Lol we don’t ask this question anymore
Lucky Number: no idea, not really my thing
What am I wearing: T-shirt and sweatpants
Dream Job: videogame character designer!
Dream Trip: ,,, Japan and S.Korea,,,,,
Favourite Food: g r a p e s
Instruments I Play: I play a little piano
Aesthetic: Geometric shapes, space, witchcraft, sailor moon, vulgar kawaii fashion
Languages I speak: despite the fact that half my family is hispanic and speaks spanish, I, unfortunately, only know english.
Most Iconic Song: FIGHTING EVIL BY MOONLIGHT-
Random Fact: I collect snapbacks!
Tagging:
@smokingbomber​ @caffeineivore​ @apsaraqueen​ @starlingsinclair @teamvanessacloud @antigonetwo @coppercrane2 @antivanruffles
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tiny012 · 6 years
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I hate how much hate 90s Jadeite gets bc of shitty writing, esp since he's the only one of the 90s Shitenno I actually like; the others were annoying af (Nephrite was a joke and the other two only existed to be the token gay couple). It's so hypocritical how the fandom praises other charas for the same shitty writing. @smokingbomber has a really good essay defending 90s Jadeite that I highly recommend.
90’s Jed was pretty cool until they used him for a female empowering statement which backfired due to a scene beforehand where the secondary main character told the main character that a monkey looks prettier than her...
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luna-whiskers · 6 years
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SM Review Event Day 4: Celebrate New Authors
I’ve got three shout-outs here.
@smokingbomber (fanfic HERE) - Just as I felt my interest in fandom wavering, you showed up and completely revitalized everything for me. You made fanfic fun again. I love your enthusiasm, I love the way you write Mamoru, I love how you explore rarepairs and polyships right alongside the classics. I love how your work can range from silly to dark to nightmare fuel. I don’t know how you’ve been so prolific in such a short amount of time, but I hope you keep going.
@fadesinthesun (fanfic HERE) - Your Kunzite gives me life. I just love your prose, I love your version of the Silver Millennium, I love the clever way you look at things. I hope you’ll keep writing so more people can see the absolute genius that you are.
@storyofthedoor (comic HERE) - YOU ABSOLUTELY COUNT. Your art is so beautiful it makes me want to cry, but we’re talking about writing here, and yours is a delight. Your version of the characters feels so fresh, yet so natural, like we’ve already known them for a long time. I love your witty dialogue. I love your Venus so much. I long for more Venus Perihelion, but I feel blessed that you gave us so much of it already.
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