#so he plays the damsel in distress

[alumirp]

Luffy works as security for a fight club. It is illegal and is located in the poorest and most remote part of the city, where the police have no interest in going. The problem is, while the job pays well and beating up drunks or competitors who break the rules is fun, things can also get ugly and he ends up getting injured.

The best option to treat these injuries is to go to the 24-hour clinic on the other side of the city, a few minutes from Luffy's house.

That's where Law works, he's a grumpy doctor with a history of terrible insomnia who always takes the most godless shifts at the most ungodly hours. Luffy is a very popular visitor and at this point Law has stopped asking questions, knowing he won't get satisfactory answers. Plus, the guy didn't seem like he was lying when he said he was a security guard and not a gangster.

Still, especially with the number of visits and the growing crush, Law can't help but worry. A security guard shouldn't get hurt that much. They play this game where Luffy comes in hurt, Law scolds him and treats him anyway and then they flirt, for a few minutes before Law has to see another patient for a few months, without ever going any further than that.

The fun ends when the next time Luffy goes to the clinic looking for stitches, he doesn't find Law. Not the time after that and not the next. In fact, the next time he sees Law, the doctor is being dragged, chained and bruised, into the fighting ring, pitted against an opponent twice his size.

#lawlu #lulaw #one piece #one piece lulaw #the thing is #someone its about to get beaten and its not law #doffy is in the background kidnapping his nephew #and throwing him on the fighting ring #He doesn't even know the mistake he made #Luffy likes his job :( #he gets paid to hit people #I'd like that job too #law is worried #Right now I think he should worry about himself #but I bet he's still worried when he finds out that Luffy is a security guard at the fight club #which is five minutes after being thrown into the Octagon when Luffy appears panicked outside the bars #lol #doffy is going to get the beating of his life #luffy will not play about his hot doctor being hurt on this hellish place #Law can defend himself #but Luffy gets hot when angry #so he plays the damsel in distress

[merakiui]

MERAAAA wouldn't it be funnier if the Jade falling for an otaku (with their fictional oshi) is tmdg Jade? Orz if he could play Floyd he could cosplay your oshi! (Never a W for Jade lol)

T_T always an L and never a W for tmdg!Jade. If you tell him to cosplay one of these two fine men here, he's already losing to the competition and the competition is pixels. OTL

But maybe it's not impossible! Since you like the butler type characters, he may already have a solid chance at earning your favor because he, too, is a butler type. <3

#twisted chit chat #jade visiting heartslabyul to convince riddle to cosplay ciel for a day #so he can act out all of the scenes where sebastian looks cool when he's rescuing ciel LOL #riddle: and why do i have to play the damsel in distress??? >:/ #jade: are you not just as short and bratty as this ciel character? :) #jade returns to octavinelle with the collar :(

[bumblingbabooshka]

Going into the Tuvok tag and seeing a bunch of people shouting his name with ‘Picard’ also tagged makes me feel like Troi: “Something terrible happened here...I have a bad feeling....”

#I can't wait for him to get out of idk being tortured or doing drugs or whatever and then go #'Indeed that was most unpleasant but not nearly as unpleasant as spending time with my wife' #Just watched a clip and honestly him showing up only to be being tortured at some undisclosed location is so him. SUCH a damsel in distress #that guy. If he dies I'm killing jean-luc picard & seven. The people not the actors playing them v_v I'll find a way. #I can literally see it now: they get there but its too late ohnooo seven's crying oh no you were like a father to me and tuvoks last words #are said while in her arms and then I come up from behind with a STEEL CHAIR-???

[zappedbyzabka]

Beauty

#Remake #queue #So so pretty #william zabka #When a guy won’t leave you alone at a bar #I like to picture the last gif as vamp (but like how the flapper girls would say it) scammer Johnny who uses his pretty face and coquettish #flirting to swindle people out of money. and Daniel being the one to ‘ward off’ a guy bothering Johnny at a bar. Johnny realizing it’s #Daniel. and also noticing how wealthy LaRusso got like ‘👀 Hey do you want me to wear my bikini bottoms I call a speedo and lounge around #your pool? Free of charge except the money and twink-dick I want from you :)’ #Then UH OH he falls in love with Daniel and bonds with his kids. #Daniel didn’t even know it was Johnny at first. but he didn’t regret when he realized. #Johnny was just playing up the damsel in distress act because he knows guys like that. especially small ones with hero complexes

[paisleywraith]

No, listen, I was just trying to spar I swear- 

#sp k2 #Kysterion #kitesterion #kenny x kyle #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #mysterion #Kite has a massive fat crush on Mysterion of course #Kite seems to talk to/train with/show up around Mysterion all the time for some reason weird #Mysterion has met Kite out of uniform as well- got to play damsel in distress and everything he's so damn smitten with the guy #Too bad Kyle's got his head too far up his ass to notice #Scrambling to apologize while he's getting actual heart eyes #Kyle knows Kenny and reported back to Stan (also a hero) that he's in town but doesn't know Kenny is Mysterion #He's kinda got a crush on Kenny but now he's falling in love with Mysterion also #Stan finds out Mysterion's identity one night during a mission that almost goes really bad #And is now stuck in the middle of fucking everything the poor guy

[chaoticvictorianspirit]

I made this for my dear snootual but I'm releasing it into the wild in hopes that it confuses the shit out of some innocent unsuspecting tumblr users.

Please if you stumble across this I am begging you to tag whatever you think the context is. For science.

#inside of you there are two wolves #okay wait this is NOT the original context at all but the blorbo brainrot is strong today and I just had a realisation #lying about theit life goals in french - aziraphale inviting people to his “meeting” that is actually an elaborate secret regency ball date? #pretending to be mad (for evil feminine schemes) - crowley getting high on laudanum to save a human's life? #or alternatively: #lying about their life goals in french - crowley saying he showed up at the bastille because he was nearby as if he isn't actually just #playing his role in their immaculately crafted 6000 year long damsel in distress x knight in shining armour foreplay #pretending to be mad (for evil feminine schemes) - aziraphale acting pissy so crowley would do the apology dance #((I know it's mad as in insane but mad as in angry counts too cause I said so)) #((evil feminine schemes = getting to watch your boyfriend twist and twirl on demand while you give him the fuckiest of fuck eyes)) #okay this post is running away from me

[athetos]

Btw yes I saw the live action zelda news and yes I am pretending I didn’t

#maze runner director….? #look the books weren’t good so maybe he didn’t have much to work with #I’m terrified to know whether they’re going to do an original story or adapt one of the games #I’m hoping it’s an original story so they don’t tarnish the image of one of my favorites #probably original so they can give link more characters to interact with on his quest #like sidekicks that aren’t just navi or fi #zelda probably won’t be a damsel in distress either considering how they portrayed peach in Mario movie #if it IS based off a game I feel they’d want to go for breath of the wild just based off popularity/recency #I think that will make for an abysmal movie though #which leaves idk. either skyward sword or ocarina of time probably? #skyward sword probably the most cinematic and you can play up zelink romance #and link would feel connected to zelda as they knew each other for a long time #ocarina of time I don’t think the time travel gimmick would adapt well #p

[riddlers-roulette]

Forever upset that Bruce had to interrupt right when Ed was gonna climb onto Oswald’s lap and-

Well, at least they got to hold hands as they dangled from that lamppost

#listen the amount of awe and longing and relief and infatuation in Ed’s voice when he said Oswald’s name??? #the ‘I thought you were behind this’ because he had FAITH Ozzie would come for him #man didn’t even question the explosives left behind in the warehouse bc Oswald’s his sugar daddy and we all know it #Ed noting the change in Oswald’s figure and following it up with a ‘DAMN it’s good to see you/you look good’ (I frgt the exact wording) was #PERFECTION- this man is a thirsty ass hoe and he’s also so in love and it’s OSWALD after all this time and he’s right there and he’s saved #Ed again when Ed finds himself playing damsel in distress and it’s just. he loves him. and he can admit it. he’s READY now #but then they get strung up by a furry and then they get arrested by Gordon and THEN Ed picks the locks and theyre gone #nygmobblepot #edward nygma #oswald cobblepot #Gotham

[kymal]

another thing i like about tlovm is vax's sort of codependency wrt vex being written very plainly for what it is. vex doesn't need vax, she can get on just fine on her own but protecting vex gives vax a sense of purpose. the subversive cain and abel narrative of it all!!!

#i feel like so often in the initial campaign that element of their relationship... #was kind of... idk not played for what it was?? #at the very least the audience responded to it in a way where i constantly had to see #vex be treated like this damsel in distress character that she very much wasnt #and vax just constantly constantly constantly having his whole existence revolve around protecting her and being his sister's martyr #and that being treated as a positive!! oh hes so self sacrificing and possessively protective!! #no bestie it's a character flaw!! it literally turns out to be his downfall in the end!!

[gigginox]

sorry for getting mad abt scott pilgrim again but i think its really funny the movie ends w scott like. getting along w nega scott rather than actually defeating him like from a narrative standpoint it really captures how movie scott learns absolutely nothing and he just gets a gf bc hes in a band and likes video games

#like him beating nega scott in tge comic is supposed to represent him coming to terms w how shitty he is and trying to be a better person #so its so funny ghat that just. doesnt happen in fhe movie he doesnt learn anything theres no lesson ramona is just this damsel in distress #and hes the hero and everyone loves scott cuz he plays bass or whatever. god i hate tge movie so bad die die kill die kill

[attllhak]

Ok since you fully got me onboard your fairy agenda, what are you most excited in regards to each of your fairy fics?

Did not realize I had a fairy agenda, but you're right, I totally have a fairy agenda. Welcome to it.

I think for 'Meeting Fairies' it's getting to Vie and some of the later fairies. Eventually I'll get to a point where there are fairies draped on Link as he pulls out a new bottle to let out another fairy, and I am going to enjoy that immensely.

For the Adoption AU fic, I think it's just going to be Warriors getting back to the sorority house and promptly texting his brothers and one of them (probably Legend) declaring him the resident damsel in an action movie. (Warriors will, of course, take this to a dramatic extreme. He's going to play into it, hard. The girls will naturally encourage this as they find it just as funny.) And also some general healing for the poor guy. The girls are going to bundle him up in blankets and feed him ice cream and watch movies on the couch of the sorority house with him.

#atta answers #anon #love that i've got a fairy agenda #also love that people are getting onboard it #i adore these girls so much so i'm glad other people are also starting to love them too #i just like warriors having a bunch of friends who love him unconditionally and without expectation #he needs and deserves that #people who see him as HIM and not the hero/captain/whatever #and now he's got two dozen of them! #and adoption au warriors is going to lean into being a charlie's angels macguffin hard #if he's the damsel in distress for his badass friends then he's playing the part #they will naturally encourage this because it's funny #they love him and all his dramatics #he's very dramatic

[valleydoli]

𐙚 Ao3 Fics I’ve read and love 𐙚

𐙚 infidelity by @tawus (completed)

gojo x fem reader

Your marriage to Gojo Satoru lost its initial excitement, since your husband spent all his time either at Jujutsu Tech or on exorcism missions across the world. To ease your loneliness, you picked up your favorite pastime from your student years — clubbing — behind his back. Too bad that on Satoru’s most recent mission he spots his wife dancing in a nightclub with a bunch of guys in the skimpiest dress he has ever seen on her…

𐙚 desert rose by @sadistic-kiss (on going)

all jjk men x fem reader 😭

Toji Fushiguro finds you during one of his hitman jobs. With no idea what to do with you he decides to bring you home to his house of misfits. They weren’t picture perfect but neither were you.

𐙚 mascara by @/softstellars (on going)

geto x fem reader

You've never been a particularly good person, you're self-aware enough to know it. It's your only flaw, and recently you've actually been working to better yourself. For example: paying for a 30-dollar Uber so you can take your friend home only for her to ditch you for some guy when it comes down to it. Although you’re pissed, you decide to try and make the best of it instead of get into a screaming match with her. It's an easy thing to do when Getou Suguru is offering you everything to do just that. Everything a party entails: liquor, weed, and sex with a perfect stranger. And Getou knows perfectly well you have a boyfriend, so it's not like he'll want anything serious.

𐙚 a pearl by @lemonlover1110 (completed and posted on tumblr!)

toji x fem reader

The Fushiguros needed a nanny, and the pay was too good to not apply, especially since your family needed financial help. You were the perfect nanny for the kids, they loved you as if you were their own mother. Slowly, you built up the perfect relationship with the family. Especially with Mr. Fushiguro. A man who would constantly visit you after dark. A man who you thought had sincere intentions but at the end of the day didn't care about you. A selfish man who just saw you as a tool to make his wife mad. A man who didn't care about you but didn't want you with anyone else. A man that took away your ability to know what a healthy relationship was. You couldn't speak up about it since all the fault would fall at your feet and would be deemed as the "homewrecker".

𐙚 you, my angel and my saint by @lemonlover1110 (completed and posted on tumblr!)

toji x fem reader

sequel to a pearl!

After having an affair with your boss, you're left to deal with the consequences, those being: two exhausting new jobs and a child. A child that he never got to know the existence of. Now all you had to do was keep her hidden, which should be an easy task, right?

𐙚 rings by @/bungeemum (on going)

toji x fem reader

you divorced the man in front of you for a reason. so why was he standing on your doorstep, guilt plastered on his face, and eyes glinting with hope?

𐙚 a dangerous game by @/anaoyuo (completed)

gojo x fem reader

geto x fem reader

Both men agreed to a game about who fucks you first, but they didn't play their cards right. Gojo and Geto changed the course of the game when they decided to keep you around for way longer than intended, making you fall for their sweet way to deprave you, and now you have to face the consequences in a gamble that they call their life.

𐙚 fate’s gamble by @/anaoyuo (on going)

gojo x fem reader

geto x fem reader

sequel to a dangerous game

缘分— a story about predestined affinity, set in a world where the intoxicating thrills of wealth intertwine with amorality.

𐙚 him & i by @pharixden (on going)

gojo x fem reader

toji x fem reader

sukuna x fem reader

A cheating husband, a widowed bodyguard and a malevolent fling of the past who owes a favour isn’t a combination for the faint of heart, but not every girl is a damsel in distress.

𐙚 changes by @lemonlover1110 (on going also on tumblr!)

gojo x fem reader

From childhood friends to lovers to mere strangers. Your love story with Satoru Gojo was one from a fairy tail, until it wasn't. When you were twenty-one, Satoru left you without an explanation. Five years later, you meet again but nothing is quite the same. Too many things need to be explained, especially the fact that there's another Gojo that Satoru has yet to meet.

𐙚 the man in apartment 381 by @lemonlover1110 (completed also on tumblr!)

toji x fem reader

Looking for a new beginning after the death of your husband, you move away from town. That's when you meet him, Toji Fushiguro, a widower with a three-year-old son. You two understand each other, which draws you close. Except you two don't realize that feelings would eventually develop, and neither of you want that. Feelings are the last thing you two want after finding out the great damage that they can cause. When you two discover this, it's too late.

𐙚 4th avenue viewing by @/softstellars (completed)

nanami x fem reader

Nanami Kento is intelligent, serious, reserved and can easily catch someone in a lie. It's his job to do just that, he's renowned for it. So when he comes to your university to offer up an internship, it's quite the opportunity. Anyone would jump at the chance, except for you. But no, you just had to be the one caught in a lie.

𐙚 forgotten souls by @/killerpoultry & @/bebobopobo (completed)

sukuna x fem reader

You and Sukuna have been married for years. Even though he is brash, mean, and sadistic, you love him more than anything. While he may not show it much, he truly loves you too. One day you get into a terrible car accident and lose all your memories. You learn to live once more while Sukuna must now get you to fall in love with him all over again.

𐙚 love kills by @/sourome (on going)

i actually don’t know 😭 i think toji x fem reader

The wealthy and successful Zenin family, well respected and seemingly perfect. But all that glitters is not gold. Toji Zenin, CEO and face of the Zenin Group acts like a gentleman but is a vile creature that has ruined many lives, such as yours. That married man dared to play with your mother’s heart many years ago, destroying her sanity and her life and ultimately killing her. Now years later and being all grown up you decide to seek revenge, he deserves to suffer that same destiny and die of love. With the help of a few friends you plan to become a part of his life and his every thought but you didn't take into account his son, that man had the potential to turn your plans upside down.

𐙚 the black swan by @uselesslydamaged (completed)

sukuna x fem reader

Loving someone is easy, but experiencing it is harder.

𐙚 bodyguard by @/succybuss (on going)

toji x fem reader

Your Grandfather, a man involved in unsavory businesses that has taken you under his wing, has informed you that you will be under the care of a full-time Bodyguard. Unhappy with your grandfather's decision, you decide to go out for a night of drinking for your last night of freedom. There, you encounter a man you planned on taking home, but life had other plans in store for you...

𐙚 violet lights by @septembersummer (completed)

gojo x fem reader

In which you're at a party that you should've skipped when you capture the attention of a boy who looks like an angel and grins like the devil. He looks beautiful in the neon lights, and maybe you just want to make your ex-boyfriend jealous, but trouble with a tongue ring does sound like fun, just for tonight. What's the worst that could happen, you know?

𐙚 starboy by @septembersummer (completed)

gojo x fem reader

sequel to violet lights

After your ex-boyfriend gets arrested on national television, you find yourself realizing that you really didn’t know much at all about Gojo Satoru. Well, he’s better known in the Yakuza as The Six Eyes, not that he ever told you that.

𐙚 sweet little lies by @/mooglepaws (on going)

toji x fem reader

Megumi Fushiguro is the perfect Fiancé. Caring, loyal, successful, devastatingly handsome and crazy in love with you. So how and why do you end up fucking his Dad? As your wedding looms and the consequences of your affair unfold, you have to make a choice between the Fushiguro men.

This is a Toji x Reader x Megumi but the smut is almost exclusively Toji x Reader focusing on their affair.

𐙚 the twist of a knife by @darkcat23 (on going)

gojo x fem reader

This world is dull, colourless in your eyes. You are just trying to keep going with your life, not bothering anyone, trying to support your mother and yourself. So what happens when you agree to help your ex one night? And what if you catch the attention of a certain white haired assassin? And he shows you just how colourful this world truly is. or, a story of a girl with a violent mind and a boy with violent tendencies, finding each other, intertwining, and feeding off one another. perhaps it is fate that has brought them together. or perhaps it's something more sinister, something more cold.

𐙚 untameable waves by @/circedemedici

(unknown i guess hopefully i can let you know)

has been taken down i dont know if it’ll come back but if it does i’ll link it! but i’m leaving it here because it was most definitely my favourite :(

please let me know any other fics you’ve read because i love reading fics with a LOT of plot and also let me know if you end up reading any and you enjoy them as much as i did! :3

i think i used every tag known to man LOL 𐙚

#modern sukuna #sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna smut #dilf toji #toji zenin #satoru gojo smut #satoru smut #jjk x reader smut #jjk x reader #jjk angst #jjk smut #jjk gojo #jjk sukuna #jjk fanfic #jjk fic #jjk x black reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen smut #yandere jjk #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu geto #kento nanami smut #kento nanami x reader #nanami fluff #nanami kento fluff #nanami kento smut #nanami kento x reader #nanami smut #nanami x you

[nitw]

OKAY REAL TALK. i'm on episode 5 rn. if this keeps up the way i think it is then this show is such a fucking genius adaptation, and i never would've seen it coming

like yeah, an animated scott pilgrim series authentic to the comics and the story bryan originally wanted to tell would've been amazing too. but when you think about it, SCOTT'S story has already been told to us more than a few times now. even if the live action movie took a different turn by accident, the overall message of "well-intentioned people can still make, and should still take responsibility for, mistakes that hurt those who care about them, and indifference will only end up hurting them back" still sticks for the most part.

but it's mainly been from scott's perspective. which makes sense! he's the main character, so, obviously!! but here's the thing: ramona has ALWAYS served as a reflection of scott's issues. ngl i think this is one of the most consistent things in the entire franchise, and it's why i love ramona so much. as we dive further into her backstory we learn just how much of a wall she's built around herself, how she's afraid of trusting people, but especially that, as sympathetic as she is, she's also caused so much (unintentional) damage herself. although she's introduced as someone literally too good to be true and unreachable by scott's standards, it becomes more and more apparent how similar scott and ramona are, and so they're perfect for guiding each other towards a brighter path.

and what better way to highlight this than to flip the tables completely, putting RAMONA center stage aka making the audience intimately familiar with her immediately, making SCOTT the mysterious damsel in distress/goal at the finish line instead, driving ramona to face the 7 evil exes and making amends with them in a way scott never could???

also can i just say. HUGE SHOUTOUT to the marketing team for hiding this reveal SOOOOO well. like seriously, i was worried they were showing TOO MUCH in the trailers BUT I WAS WRONG. WE GOT PLAYED SO HARD

#ANYWAY ILL KEEP WATCHING NOW #leo.txt #spto spoilers #ramona flowers #scott pilgrim #spvstw #scott pilgrim takes off

[devourable]

⚘ the boys next door

sfwish, mdni | tags ; poly!male yanderes x gn reader (no prns used but 'you'), manipulation, yan behavior, slight fetishization of virginity

originally this was just gonna be one character so thank mazzy for convincing me to make him a poly duo instead lmfao. ik i have things to finish but like,,, boys 🫶

not too proud of this one so ill probs revise it or make a part two at a l8r time when im feeling less rusty

the boys next door were the two that everyone knew of as a pair.

sebastian and tobias grew up together, learned together, played together, and shared absolutely everything practically since they were born. they were what people thought of when the words 'best friends' came to mind.

nothing could or would ever come between the two boys, everyone said.

so it was no shock that when you came in and quite literally got between them — by virtue of moving into the vacancies that separated their homes — their instant mutual attraction to you would do nothing but strengthen the bond between them.

it was odd. any additions to their relationship was unheard of, but...

the boys next door shared everything. you didn't think that'd exclude you, did you?

toby and sebastian were quick to befriend you when you entered their life. you were around their age, practically the only other child in the area at that; but unlike the children at school who they'd turn away from in favor of each other, they readily made you part of their dynamic.

they didn't quite understand the feelings you gave them at first, they were too young to. all they really knew is that they liked being around you, they liked talking about you, and they wanted you to themselves.

when you were young, everything became about you. their favorite games involved them being your loyal knights, or bodyguards, or any other role that involved protecting you from whatever threat their little minds could imagine up.

and when you grew tired of playing the damsel in distress? they were fine with it. whatever you wanted from them, you got. sebastian's gaming console was practically yours with how much he pushed you to play on it. toby would beg his parents to get him any toy he'd seen you show interest in; and he'd always eventually get them for you.

they didn't want you to ever be bored around them. you'd always have a good time on their watch, and they spoiled you relentlessly to the best of their abilities.

you were theirs, now! and you took care of what was yours, no matter what. that's what both of them were taught.

they grew up with you. learned with you. played with you, and of course, they shared you — even as the three of you grew up.

everyone around you saw how much they adored you, too. when asked, the two boys would proclaim how they'd both marry you in the future. it was so cute! no one saw an issue with how they always took up as much time and attention as they could from you. or how you never really seemed to be able to make friends with other kids at your school...

you had your best friends, so it didn't matter. they were all you needed.

the pair grew to love their constant close proximity to you. it ensured that they'd know what was going on in your life at all times as you grew and developed. when you weren't all hanging out together, it wouldn't be unusual for the pair to simply watch your home from their windows, glimpsing into your windows to watch you go about your life.

you were turning into a fine young adult. but you still needed their protection! they both easily surpassed you in size as you all grew up — sebastian in particular, who's height was staggering compared to both you and toby. he liked the edge it gave him, and how intimidating he could be when needed. tobias didn't have that advantage, but everyone liked him enough to respect you as his territory anyway. you were so small and sweet, what if someone saw you the way they did? they couldn't have that, they had no choice but to keep you to themselves.

it felt like you always had at least one of the two at your side at all times. so much so that it felt odd when you were without either of them. sebastian and toby being by your side was as natural as breathing and you grew to never really question their behavior.

they were just making sure you were okay when they insisted on keeping you company when you were home alone. when toby took your first kiss, it was because it only made sense — it should go to someone you trust and care about, right? and when you told the two that you were still a virgin well into adulthood (which they knew, of course), they insisted on being your first.

they knew you better than anyone, they'd know how to make you feel good. and who better to give your virginity to than your best friends?

getting to claim your body, inside and out, was one of the best moments of their lives. no one would ever get to have you the way they did.

no matter what you'd do, where you'd go, you'd always be effected by them in some way — and that's exactly how they wanted it. they'd always be your first best friends, your first boyfriends, your first everything. and you'd always be theirs.

the boys next door would always be entangled in your life. but you wouldn't have it any other way, would you?

they know you better than anyone, after all.

#🍀 the neighbors #sebastian lee #tobias lovell #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere boy #yandere boys #poly yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere male #yancore #yandere male x reader #yandere oc #yandere x darling #yandere writing #yandere fic #yandere x oc #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines

[lets-go-hurt-someone]

I call myself an Astarion simp and make fun of myself for loving the dumb sexy pixel man but to be honest, I’m like 30 years old and I just never expected to see my experiences not only reflected in media, but handled so delicately and compassionately.

I spent a lot of time “healing” from my past through hypersexuality. I knew it was hypersexuality. I used to tell myself, “What happened can’t be sad or important if you do it a hundred more times.” Like somehow if it was my choice x many times then the time it wasn’t can’t possibly matter anymore. Logical, right? It’s just statistics.

And then the journey of fucking your way to a semblance of mental safety just becomes a joke. It’s edgy and funny. I was doing exactly what Astarion does — if I fuck them, they might like me. And if fucking them is easier than not, I might as well, because I’ve done it so many times before anyway. I’m so good at it I’ve fucked people using the lamest lines you can imagine — wanna hear? I promise it’s hilarious.

And he’s not a perfect sweet victim or a funny edgy free love sex pest. It’s not played as a damsel in distress or a punchline. He’s just hurting and learning and when he realises the hypersexuality isn’t serving him… you can tell him it’s okay and you still like him for who he is.

I don’t know if I can really articulate what it means to me to see a background like Astarion’s being portrayed honestly and not as a sexy funny trauma thing or just straight up tragedy porn.

It genuinely made me feel like maybe I’m not alone, and think maybe other people out there also might just… understand. Not pity me, or laugh when I tell them to, but just… get it.

I’m still kind of processing it to be honest. Maybe that’s why I’ve played this stupid game like 5 times in two months.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #tw: sa #astarion ancunin

[formosusiniquis]

This one goes out to that old guy I saw at walmart yesterday loading up his pioneer woman cookware onto his motorcycle while enter sandman played

steddie | G | WC: 1154

---

“Hey baby, can you?”

“No.”

Steve's sweet tone sours immediately returning to the much more familiar gently bitchy tone Eddie knows and loves. “You don't even know what I was gonna ask.”

“Twenty-five years of marriage, lawful and not, Sunshine. I know when you're about to ask me for some shit we don't need.”

“Why would I be calling you if we didn't need it?”

“Because if you needed it you would have told me about it when I said, ‘Stevie, sweetie, light of my life, sun to my dawn,’” he looks around trying to figure out where the hell they moved the oranges and why the produce section is never in the same configuration anytime he comes here. He makes eye contact with a kid wearing an artificially faded printing of his own tour merch looking at him with a starry eyed look of recognition not of the celebrity but of family.

“Did you forget where you were going with that old man?”

He decides he might as well put on a show, both halves of this conversation already know he's going to do what he's told. “‘Stevie, my one truth north, my muse, my reason to continue living, my dearest husband, I'm going to Walmart,’ I told you not but thirty minutes ago and asked if you needed me to get you anything and you said no.”

“Oh, you aren't going to monologue for your adoring public all the sweet names I called you?” Steve is amused, he can tell, he's always been able to tell. He's accepting this as his penance for not giving Eddie an actual grocery list when he left.

“Well dear heart I am in public, but if you think we can find another grocery store to go to after getting banned from this one. I guess there is the Kroger on the other side of town.” The kid laughs, tries to hide it behind their hand, but if Eddie has had anything in this life it's experience with teens eavesdropping on conversations they shouldn't be.

“Oh you're really hamming it up, huh, Teddy. Can I tell you what you're getting me yet or do you still have a couple minutes in your set?”

He's given up on oranges, moves on to the onion he actually came here for, the lone ingredient for dinner that he'd forgotten from his clicklist. If they want to actually have the roast tonight it needs to start soon. “What is it that you remembered we needed, oh song of my heart.”

“I already sent you the link so you get exactly what I want.”

It's just ominous enough of a non-answer that he pulls his phone out of his pocket, juggling it and the five things he'd already grabbed that weren't on his one item list. He doesn't have the time to regret not grabbing the cart he was sure he hadn't needed when he sees what he's been sent.

“I'm on my bike! Where am I going to put that?”

“I'm sorry, am I hearing you correctly? Was I right when I said, ‘Teddy bear, my stars, my bard-’”

“You aren't on speaker.”

“My beloved damsel in distress, maybe the motorcycle isn't the most efficient of midlife crisis vehicles. Aren't you going to want something with more trunk space, why don't you get a Caddy or a Bimmer for old times sake. And what did you say?”

“I don't recall.”

“Probably for the best wouldn't want you banned from Walmart, what would the tabloids say?”

“Nothing that would match your wit, Sweetheart. Does it have to be this one?”

“Yes, the plaid matches the kitchen remodel, so be a good boy and strap it to your bike. And remember we've still got one kid to put through school if she decides to go, don't bring home any strays with you. Do you need to do your encore now, baby?”

“I accept your quest, my dashing prince. I shall return home with my bounty posthaste.” Encore complete, audience still enraptured, Eddie dips into the sincere. It's been nearly thirty years together and he's not once ended a call without saying, “I love you.”

“Love you too, my knight in denim battle vest. I'll see you when you get home.”

The call ends with the usual dull toned beep beep, the playlist the call interrupted starts to filter back into his earbud. He realizes he's going to have to walk right past the kid to get to the side of the store with Steve's Instant Pot.

“Hear they're about to have a reunion tour,” he says gesturing down at the reprint of their Came Back Wrong Tour shirt. The faux-fading has left a crack through his own face at the bottom making him unrecognizable, not that he looks the same now as he did at 25. “Those old bands just don't know how to retire.”

“I think it's smart that they're playing up the recent tik tok fame.” The kid says, “No one's even seen their lead singer since the 90s and after their first national tour he'd started wearing that mask.”

It hurts a little bit the way the kid says 90s like it's some bygone era lost to time. Tries to appreciate instead how good the mask idea had been, he'd really been an innovator. “That was a pretty sweet gimmick, you think he'll bring it back? It's kind of Orville Peck's thing now isn't it.”

The kid slumps, managing the impressive feat of looking desolate while standing over the tomatoes. “Probably, not that I'll see it. I couldn't manage to get a ticket.”

That is something he can fix, “Here,” he manages to grab ahold of his wallet, “as luck would have it, I've got a couple spares.”

The kid looks torn between fear and elation, it's likely at least the second strangest thing to ever happen to them in a Walmart. “Oh I can't-”

“No strings, I got it through work for my sister-in-law to go with my husband. She asked why none of the good bands ever have reunion tours so… not going obviously. And my husband insists he's too old to be that close to the stage. You'd be doing me a favor really.”

“If you're sure,” they say, the hesitance more a mannered necessity than real.

“Sure as shooting. Seriously, here give me your name so my husband knows who to make the thank you note out to.”

“Aspen, thank you really!”

Twenty minutes later when he’s got a kitchen appliance bungied to the back of his bike he’ll appreciate that something good came out of this. Three weeks later when he’s standing at the front of a sold out arena he’ll mostly appreciate another chance to be dramatic, “This next one is for Aspen who didn’t laugh when an old man tried to flirt with his husband in the produce aisle. Gareth, count me in.”

#steddie #steddie fic #old man steddie #rockstar eddie munson