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chrissturnsgirlll222 · 3 months

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second, never first

part one | part two | part three | part four

chris x fem!reader

summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become close friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.

warnings - underage drinking, throwing up, use of y/n, BOYS (no smut… for now lol and yes i am 18) currently not proofread or written with pristine punctuation

word count - 2500+?? (i know its long but i had a bunch of ideas for the beginning)

this is also my first story so pls be kind :) also just wanted to mention that i wouldn’t have the courage to write and post if it werent for other writers on this app so i would just like to tag and thank a few accounts who inspired me to write<3

@lovingmattysposts @flowerxbunnie @strniohoeee @lacysturniolo @strawberrysturniolo @flynnriderishot @stuniolobbg

for as long as i could remember, being the second option was all i knew. just always being the backup, never the go to.

this constant course of events led to my passion of reading and writing, pretty much consuming myself with content or sources that provided me with a sense of belonging, or just putting myself into a different reality.

i always had been drawn to romance. its a un-comforting comfort for me, if that makes sense. i love reading about it and watching movies about it but love just seemed so out of reach. im sure many people feel this way but i just believe there are certain people in the world that just go through life without any sort of romantic experiences. now while that may be true i also think thats just something i made up in my head to comfort myself from the fact that i have never had a single romantic experience, ever. i mean im 17 years old and havent even had my first kiss. hell i havent even held hands with a boy.

that of course all changed during my senior year.

“oh my god look at what cody sent me” anna says.

anna is my best friend, though at times she felt like my biggest competition. she is everything im not. constantly talking to boys, what people consider ‘boy pretty’, very out going and popular. the fun one.

i look over at her phone to see a text from one of the many boys shes talked to in the past year “i thought you guys were done?” i say

“yeah were not talking like that anymore but i still talk to him here and there” she says

“i dont know if thats the best idea, i mean if you guys keep talking hes probably going to get the wrong impression”

“your such a buzz kill sometimes” she says slightly annoyed. i stay silent. I might sound like a complete bitch here but when your friend is constantly talking or complaining about guy, a, b and c you eventually get bored and exhausted of hearing about it, I try my hardest to be understanding when she brings up guys, but I’m apparently never supportive enough to her standards. I suppose she wants me to be there and give her advice but what do I have to offer to that conversation?

we were driving through the school parking lot to park in our usual spot next to chris.

chris is, well complicated. ive known him since 7th grade and hated him up until about 3 months ago when senior year started. the friendship started off with him just parking next to my car everyday and him just pestering me all the time but the longer we kept parking together, the more we grew to enjoy our casual conversations.

we both roll down our windows.

“morning” i say waving at him, anna does the same “hey, i wanna skip first block if you guys are down” he says “you know i would never say to to that” anna says “ehh i dont know about today i have a bio project i need to work on and didnt getting the planning sheet so i should probably head in” i say

“alright, anna come on i wanna get mcdonalds” chris says tapping on his passenger seat.

“looks like its just us this morning! y/n me and chris can just go get food and ill bring you back something for lunch” anna says turning to me.

“ill see you guys at lunch” i say grabbing my bag and locking my car doors as anna gets in to chris’ car and they drive off.

if you havent caught the weird passive tone from anna, thats how she was. no matter how much i tried she always had to be the centre of attention . i honestly dont even think she does it on purpose. i love her and she is my best friend but i just find her insufferable at times, its just who she is. chris is a great friend to me but i always caught the vibe that chris liked anna or at least thought she was hot. which is also why i think he treats her with more respect than me.

now when i said we grew to like eachother i left out a slight detail.

even though i hated chris for most of high school for the way he treated me and constantly teased me, i couldnt help myself from starring at him from time to time as he talked or even looking at his hands. not only was he visually pleasing he could be really sweet and the conversations we shared were really meaningful at times. was he attractive, yes. was he a complete asshole to me for years and still hasnt apologized, yes. did i completely fall head over heels for him when he began to show me his nice side, sadly yes.

its so cliche but i fell for my “bully” so to speak. i hated myself for it but what i hated even more was how much i let my feelings for him effect how i saw myself even more as the second option. if it came down to it and me anna and him were the only people in the world he would still fuck anna before he even though about kissing me.

i know that i might only feel this way towards him simply because hes the only male thats shown me any attention at all. though it hasnt always been positive or romantic it was still something that i had never experienced from a male before.

like i said, second option.

i finish up my final class and head out to my car and wait for anna who is doing god knows what considering i drive her home everyday after school. while waiting for anna, chris gets into his car and starts it to heat up as it is the beginning of winter. i watch what hes doing through his car window as he scrolls on his phone for a sec and then storms into the backseat of my car, always the backseat.

my head whips around to look at him and he looks annoyed. “why do you look mad” i say. “look at what this bitch said to me” he says leaning up to the middle console shoving his phone in my face and i read texts from a girl hes talking to.

friday 3:14pm

alice: chris i cant keep talking to you

chris: what do you mean

alice: i mean that i cant keep talking to you what were doing is messing with my head and i dont want to be a victim of one of your fuck and dumps

chris: im sure i have many other girls who would kill to be in your position

alice: then go have them i dont want to be apart of your sick and twisted hookups

“ok wow” i say my eyes wide “i didnt even know you were talking to alice”

“well now you do, and im not anymore apparently” he says throwing his arms up as he sinks in to the middle seat. “we have been fucking since the halloween party, remember when i kissed her infront of you?” he says in a duh tone.

ah yes halloween. the night i went home crying after said kiss was shared infront of my face.

“yes i remember” i say blankly.

“we were supposed to hangout tonight but she decided to blow me off, i was ready to get my dick wet but i guess ill just have to be fucking boring alone” he says as i make a disgusted face.

“well i dont know what to te-“ i was cut off by anna coming into the car.

“ok sorry i took so long but i was just getting the details for a party tonight!” she says out of breath. chris sits up at the news, “maybe i will get my dick wet then.” he says smirking and jokingly raising his eyebrows.

“what? alice blew you off already.” anna says turning to chris. i dont bother questioning why anna knew and i didnt because im sure i know answer.

“yep and im scoring tonight.” he says fake punching the air as me and anna giggle.

anna and i finished getting ready at her place, her wearing jeans and a hot pink tank top and me in black jeans and a white long sleeve crop top. i stare at myself in the mirror when i hear annas phone go off with a text from chris.

friday 10:27pm

chris: here

“anna! chris is here!” i yell grabbing my phone and my drinks for the night from my bag and start making my way downstairs as i hear her close behind me. i tie up my shoes as i hear her grab her drinks from her fridge and say bye her parents. i wave goodbye to her parents as well and we make our way out to chris’ car.

upon entering were greeted by matt, chris’ brother in the passenger seat.

“hey matt i didnt know you were coming out tonight!” i say smiling at him as loud music blasts from chris’ speakers.

“yeah nicks also going so i just tagged along, plus i need to drive you guys home since chris is drinking tonight.” he says lightly punching chris in the arm. “oh yeah, speaking of nick where is he?” i say. “nicks already there he came with his friends.” i nod in response and sit back starting to chug down one of my drinks. i may be a buzz kill in annas eyes but i knew how to party and loved drinking with my friends.

matt is chris’ triplet brother along with nick. i never really got to know his brothers all that well, i just know that matt has become a lot more comfortable around me and anna as we have started to spend more time with chris.

once we arrive to the party me and anna walk around to see whos there and we meet up with some of our other friends. i can see chris from across the room laughing and talking to nick and matt.

the night goes on and i finish my fourth cooler of the night and head out to the car to grab another. when i step outside the cool air hits me and i instantly regret the 2 shots of tequila i had on top of the fruity coolers i had throughout the night. shivering and rubbing my arms i continue walking to chris’ car to sit down for a sec and when i reach the backseat i see chris’ naked back and steamy windows. i take a step back once i realize whats happening.

i knew he was going to end up fucking someone tonight since thats what he said his plan was but i did not need to fucking see it. hes not mine for the taking obviously, but seeing him constantly with girls just hurt.

i turn around to walk back into the house but suddenly feel sick to my stomach. i hunch over and throw up in the middle of the road. i cough and collapse to my knees continuing to gag as strings of spit come out of my mouth. i hear a car door shut behind me as i try to stand up wiping my mouth. i feel arms grab my waist and pick me up bridal style and thats the last thing i remember before everything went black.

i wake up in a car with the same clothes on from the party, still drunk, my hair crispy and the smell of cologne. i look around me and realize its chris’ backseat im laying in but its still pitch black out.

i hear faint voices outside and the door my head is resting on swings open and my head flys back.

“holy shit chris are you trying to kill her” i hear matts voice. “shut up, i didn’t know you put her head there.” chris says as he starts pulling me out of the car.

“chris” i say quietly. “holy shit your awake” he says leaving me to sit up. “yeah i am, what happened. i think i- blacked out.” i say slurring my words.

“well i was in the middle of getting with summer-“ he says getting on his knees to talk to me better “and i just heard gagging outside the car and it was bothering me and i looked outside the car and you were bent over on the middle of the road throwing up. i just grabbed you and told summer to fuck off and put you in the car while i grabbed matt and anna.”

“oh my god” i say as i nod off.

“woah woah stay with us here, chris lets get her inside now” matt says placing my head back up.

“where is anna?” i question.

“we had to drop her home and bring you to our house since she said her parents couldn’t see you like this.”

“of course” i say

classic anna.

“what time is it?” i ask rubbing my eyes.

“2:44am” chris grunts taking me out of the car.

“ok lets get you inside” chris says pulling me up to stand. “you think you can walk inside?” he says still holding me up. “ill try.”

he lets go of me and i slowly make it up to the front of their house but start wobbling once i reach the steps and feel both matt and chris grab either side of me and help me up to the front door. matt holds on to my arm as he uses the house key to get inside and i walk in.

they walk me over to the living room couch and i slump over resting my head on the arm rest of the couch.

“where is she going to sleep?” matt says. “my room obviously.” chris says as i smile to myself.

“come on y/n” he says picking me up again and bringing me to his room to lay on his bed. “im gonna give you clothes to change into since yours are covered in vomit.” he says opening drawers. i nod my head as my eyes close.

he tosses me a big white shirt with some graphic designing on it “can you dress yourself or-“ i cut him off “yea- yeah i got it” i say sitting up right and hiccup.

he turns around so i can change into the shirt. i begin taking my long sleeve off and i get one arm off before i get stuck. “chris, help” i say quietly and he turns around to see me with my arms slouched and my eyes closed. he rushes over “lift up your arms” he says pulling my hands up. i hold them up as he grabs the hem of my shirt and slowly pulls up. i admire chris as he pulls off the shirt completely throwing my shirt across the room all while being careful not to look at me.

he grabs his shirt and places it gently over my head and then threading my arms through the shirt. “wait” he says walking over to his closet, grabbing a pair of his sweatpants and walking over to me with them. i sit there with my eyes closed smiling as i had thought about the scenario of him taking my clothes off many times, just not the me being so drunk i cant dress myself part.

he takes my jeans off and helps me in to his sweatpants still being respectful and not starring at my body. “ill be right back just sit here im going to get you water and an advil.” he say as he walks out of the room. i just sit there, my eyes still closed, still smiling and nod at his sentence.

i lay back down on his bed and wait as i hear him rushing upstairs talking to matt and nick before walking back in to the room sitting down at the end of his bed. “sit snd open up.” i obliged to his words before he places two advils on my tongue.

“im going to fill up your mouth with water so don’t breathe.” he says opening up a water bottle and slowly pouring some in to my mouth while my head tilts upwards slightly. he watches me with concern as i swallow the water.

“please never get drunk like this ever again, you really freaked everyone out kid.” he says. i don’t respond and nod at his words.

kid, the all too familiar nickname chris gave me. it always made me feel weird when he called me this as if he was an authority figure or something.

i lay back down on his bed and close my eyes and quickly drift off to sleep. the last thing i remember from that night is him crawling in to his bed next to me and turning off his light.

“goodnight kid”

thank you for reading!!!

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo edit #sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x y/n

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nerdysleepybunny · 4 months

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Hallo! im new here so please let me know if i cross any boundries.'

anywho, I was wondering if i could request a platonic philza and/or techno comfort? ive had bad few days :(

Have a wonderful day/night!

I APOLOGIZE FOR GETTING TO THIS SO LATE!! I literally love dsmp asks even though the fandom is dying off, so this definitely isn’t crossing any boundaries! I hope you’re doing better. My dms are open if you ever need to chat! :D

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Character(s): Philza, Technoblade (ft. Mumza & Chat)

Fandom(s): DreamSMP

Reader: Gender neutral (you/your)

Style: Hcs

TW: N/A

Summary: How Philza and Technoblade (separate) would comfort you!

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Philza:

I feel like he’s the type to just know you aren’t doing well before you even say anything.

Like, you’re just sitting there in your feels, then suddenly?

BOOM CONCERNED DAD RIGHT IN YOUR FACE

“Are you okay, mate?”

“Do you need anything?”

“Here, let’s sit and have a chat.”

Literally shooing chat away so it’s just the two of you having quality time together.

Would sit down next to you on a couch, but probably wouldn’t initiate any touching. The most I see him doing is a shoulder pat or a hand rubbing your back.

Of course, he wouldn’t mind you leaning on him or embracing him! He just doesn’t want to touch you in case you want your space :)

If you want to talk about it he’s there to listen and offer wise old man advice (if you call him old while you’re upset, it’s the ONE time he won’t get defensive about it)

He’s just talking giving you some advice about your problems, then he hears you snickering

“What’s so funny?”

“You sound so old right now, Phil.”

Usually he’d shout his usual “I’M NOT OLD/I’m only in my 30’s, mate…” (I’m pretty sure he’s canonically thousands of years old but shh let grandpa be delusional)

But now? He’d just chuckle and shake his head

“Whatever you say, mate.”

DON’T EXPECT HIM TO BE SOFT FOREVER, IT’S ONLY BECAUSE YOU’RE CURRENTLY SAD

After you’ve concluded your venting/told him that you don’t want to talk about it

You know what time it is…

DISTRACTIONS!!!

Pillow fort anyone? He’s giving pillow fort vibes.

He’s a dad, so obviously he’d just do all the work and build it for you. Again, only because you’re sad. Any other time he’d yell at you for not helping.

Speaking of sadness

Don’t let Phil’s wife see you sad…

OH NO YOU’RE SAD? NOW MUMZA IS SAD AND IS RUSHING TO COMFORT YOU

Mumza is the type to cry when she sees someone else crying, so now both of you are just sobbing together and Phil is there trying to comfort the two of you but is an overwhelmed old man and may end up crying himself

Uh… cry party?

Either you all end up making fun of each other for crying which results in you all laughing together, or you just cry till you get sleepy and pass out on the floor together.

What an interesting way to family bond.

Technoblade:

So you seek The Blade for comfort, the most monochrome and nonchalant man on the server. What a wonderful decision, reader! /lh (I’d do the exact same)

If you’re a Technoblade fan you’ve definitely heard the “it’s fine” audio.

Now I can either be wholesome and say he’d hold you close and whisper that everything will be okay to you

Or I can be silly and realistic and say that he’d pull out a phone and just play the audio with a blank face, but is laughing on the inside due to your “what the actual fuck” face.

Okay now for some actual comfort!

As we all know… Technoblade isn’t exactly good at comfort.

He kills orphans for a living, how do you think he’d react seeing someone crying like a child?

He’s standing looking at you with a look of “why is this creature screaming” and “wtf do I do”

“Uh… you good? You okay? You, uh… need a hug…?”

Very awkwardly holds his arms out for a hug, and if you accept, he even more awkwardly pats your back.

If you got his shirt wet with tears, he’d DEFINITELY comment about it

“Are you seriously ruining my shirt? How are my enemies supposed to think I have a good fashion sense now?!”

Goes into a rant about how he needs to look his best and how it’s a good strategy to beat his enemies in battle while you’re kinda just there… honestly are you even crying anymore?

You’ve stopped crying ages ago, and he’s still just talking

In conclusion, Technoblade is good at calming people down without even trying (I was literally having a breakdown and all I needed to do was listen to the silly pig man talk about Greek mythology. It must all be part of his master plan…)

Speaking of listening to his voice, here’s a scenario.

“Technoblade, can you read to me?”

“…what?”

“Read to me.”

“I’m not reading you a bedtime stor-“

“I wanted you to tell me about Greek mythology.”

“Fine. Come here.”

Long story short, he starts by reading you just one story. That one story turns into the entire history of the Greek gods and goddesses… yeah you pass out pretty quickly. But Technoblade isn’t one to stop mid-ramble. Once he notices you’re asleep, he’ll continue talking, just quieter. He’ll eventually get sleepy himself, and soon enough… you’re both asleep.

Works like a charm!

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

#bun asks #bun writes #technoblade x y/n #technoblade x you #technoblade x reader #technoblade fluff #philza x reader #philza #philza minecraft #philza x kristen #dreamsmp x reader #dreamsmp x you #dreamsmp #mumza #dsmp fluff #dsmp x you #dsmp x reader #dsmp x y/n #comfort fic

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stargloom · 1 month

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hey. i dont like doing this. and i dont want to be a tumblr bitch who's wrote a callout before. but i cannot in good faith continue posting in the same community as this guy and allow him to pretend to not be genuinely a sicko. but @/bloomingduskk (who im sure will change urls after i post this is. a prosh.ipper radq.eer trans.d alongside a plethora of unfavorable unethical things. most of which being too personal to share, but enough left for me to be uncomfortable with my own silence. tw for like fucking everything lol

I never wanted to be in this position, or ever have to be the author of something like this. I am not a confrontational person or someone who enjoys drama, i’m entirely someone who goes out of his way not to get involved in such things, but due to my past public friendships with this person, and his tendencies of covering his tracks and lying about me and my friends, i feel as if it would be cowardly of me not to at least issue a warning about this user, and hope my message is conveyed well. If this was solely a personal gripe, I would not come out with a doc publically, I have no intentions of being petty, and am purposely leaving out a lot of petty issues and things that have been done to harm me personally. I only intend to talk about the actual dangers he promotes, and provide counterclaims to the narratives he tends to enjoy putting out.

Before going further, i will be addressing him by his url, or nothing at all, as i will not be calling him by the japanese name he chooses to go by as a white person. It is against my morals. I hope that my decision doesn’t make this document more confusing than it needs to be.

--- bloomingduskk uses Japanese names as a white person, and has done so for a while. He currently uses the name “maki” , and for the last half of 2023, went by Kaede, despite the fact that i firmly told him not to due to it being cultural appropriation multiple times, and each time he gave me an excuse, before continuing to do it. This is not a targeted attack against him, as he has said before in regard to being told not to use a japanese name, but something that i would condemn no matter who the person was. He identify(s)d as transracial. No matter the mental health issues you may have, the entire concept of “transitioning” into an ethnic minority is racist and entirely unacceptable. Here was his response to that.

And here is him self describing as transracial, and his pinned post on his old radqueer blog

^^ his discord at the time, which i and many others have personal dms with, matched exactly with his radq.ueer blogs. he cannot fucking say this isnt him i will go insane if he tries to deny this shit. He has spoken about me under the guise that I am stalking him, despite never having me blocked on anything but an old art account, and also the fact that I have gone out of my way, due to having severe morality ocd, not to scroll through or look at his content. All screenshots were provided to me secondhand, and not from my own devices, due to how severe this situation was for me, a person with ocd who he knew has ocd. At the time of these screenshots, i specifically requested my friends to block out his usernames so i didn't obsessively compulsively make myself feel sick scrolling through his blogs. (the screenshots in question here are not mine, i own a samsung galaxy, this ui does not match. I added my own annotations to the second image though.) VV his self identification as a proshipper + some stuff he had on his propara blogs (heavy tw)

^^ the first image here is in repsonse to an extremely long and thought out message my friend sent him during this period to this specific blog of his when it still existed.

his response to this was full of lies and empty promises and excuses, and plenty of vapid words he has taken back. i dont see a point in including what he had to say about this purely because he was lying through his teeth.

his twt account was probably the worst thing of his that was shown to me. i do not want to include screenshots of the things he would retweet as they were all sexually explicit imagery and posting of pedophilia, rape, beastiality, severe abuse, loli/shota content, and general dangerous and exploitative philias. i do not want to make that content more reachable to anyone than it already is . this account has been deleted. but i have been given screenshots of him posting his art there. along with the most tame thing i think he posted there. yeah

a lot of the harm he has done to my friends and i is extremely personal, far more personal than i feel comfortable airing out on a public blog that i've worked hard to distance a public personality from. so, i am not willing to spend time slowly outlining every single lie and harmful action he has done. that would make this post impossibly long, and i dont have the stomach to retrigger myself in this way. this has taken me two months to write, as i am deeply bothered by it and this entire event with him made me the sickest i'd been in a long while. do not fucking harass him. block him. im certain he's going to send himself anon asks pretending to be stargloom rabid fans or pretend to be my friends or whatever but all i want is for him to stay the fuck away from me and my friends and spaces where he pretends he isn't into vile shit. block him. dont interact. dont send him anything. just be careful of this cunt . i refuse to let him walk around as if he hasn't happily and enthusiastically promoted the most vile content one can enjoy.

im sure he's gonna scramble after this and probably start spewing revolting shit abt me which hes done at every single turn after me being upset. but he cannot pretend like nothing happened forever. thanks.

#long post #starspeak #jesus christ. now i gotta fucking trigger tag this shit #tw inc*st #tw pedophila mention #tw sh #tw zoophile mention #tw unsanitary #i already said this but DO NOT harass him please just dont interact w this sicko or engage w his work #i know he will send himself anon asks its his favourite game but genuinely. dont do that. thanks #this is rebloggable please do if u can i dont like how he slinks around in the dgr fandom all innocent #tw r4p3 #bruh i cannot keep up w these censored tags #i will probs rb this throughout the week bc i want . this to be known #i am leaving this up because i dont want this to be ignored or forgotten about .

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aorelemos · 2 months

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First attempt at 'fanfic' (hananene)

since this is like my first post ever and also I dont use tumblr... like, ever i thought a good way to get myself introduced to this platform would be to show off a little bit of writing i did, tbh its not very good and also like *very* unfinished but I'm kinda just putting this on here so i can get it out of my system, also i doubt any of my friends would be interested in it (also since its very unclear the kind of idea i was going for was like.. idk nene gets sent into an alternate universe where Amane is in her position)

Im gonna copy paste it below this bit of text ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yashiro skipped down the halls of the Old School Building on a mission, she absolutely could not wait to tell Hanako about her little adventure - turned misadventure- turned real life fantasy, a fantasy which obviously involved her dearest Teru Minamoto and how he’d chivalrously stopped her from tripping down the stairs due to her untied shoelaces, however he’d tripped himself and that's wher-

wait. We're saving this for Hanako.

As Nene continued humming a lovey-dovey tune, she’d made it to the bathroom. And despite being in such an old and honestly kind of creepy building, this bathroom had quite the atmosphere (probably in part thanks to her amazing and feminine cleaning skills) The light that seeped in from those stained glass windows always helped to add a kind of warmth to the somehow pleasant bathroom, She didn’t know how to explain how it felt, only that it always gave her a comforting feeling.

After basking in the light of the soon-to-be-setting sun through the panes, she turned to the last stall furthest from the door and knocked, “Hanako~ You in there? Oh my, I’ve just had the *best* day of my life to ever happen ever!...so far. Anyways! Minamoto, he- Oh wait, no, you should guess! (it was really quite romantic!)” Nene gleefully and excitedly spoke, almost shouted to the door, not making any room for even a breath of air, however, Nene got no response. “Hanako? Hanako, are you seriously ignoring me?” Nene whined, looking around the room to see where her silly friend had gotten to, continuing to ask for him. It had only been minutes and yet Nene had gotten sick of her no-show friend. As she turned, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

Weird.

Something felt, different. nothing in particular had changed in the warm and not so smelly room and yet, she didn’t feel that same comfort she normally did... “Not my problem” Nene being Nene, brushed it off. However, she did wonder “where is this boy?” It wasn’t like she *cared* y’know, she just wanted to tell someone about her absolutely strikingly romantic experience she’d had and that someone happened to be Hanako, she still wanted to ask why he wasn’t in his usual spot, it wasn’t like she *didn’t* care, she wanted to make sure he was alright, yknow?

After a moment of stalling she’d made up her mind, if he wasn’t in here, she was going to find him no matter how long it’d take.

Taking one last glimpse of the room to make sure he hadn’t been trying to pull a silly prank by hiding from her (which he had not) she strode out the doorway, Yashiro began to skip through the old school building on a mission… She really, really, really couldn’t wait to blab on about her close encounter with Minamoto because wow! Somehow he’d managed to look even more handsome today than any other-

Yashiro paused in her tracks, she’d spotted a familiar face standing before her in the hall, she knew he’d spotted her too. Yashiro noticed his peculiar choice in clothing (why was he wearing the current school uniform?) however she dismissed it and opened her mouth to greet him-

“Hanako-Chan! Why- no, How are you wearing that?”

The young black haired boy exclaimed to her, not dismissing her current uniform. Yashiro paused in her tracks, feeling somewhat offended “Ha- Hanako- kun, were you calling me a- a-?” she looked down at the new leggings she’d bought just that day, she knew they made her legs look big! the expression on her face was one of shock and heartbreak ‘I KNEW PEOPLE WERE GOING TO CALL ME A DAIKON AGAIN I SHOULDNT HAVE EVER WORN THESE NEW LEGGINGS! I SWEAR IM GOING TO RIP THESE RIGHT OFF RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW... UGH … AND OF COURSE *HE* HAD TO BE THE ONE TO BRING IT UP, OF COURSE IT WAS HANA-. wait. Did hanako call me…

“Hanako-Chan?”

Nene asked aloud once she stopped her mind from wondering about her legs and instead, she inspected the boy before her, Well, It definitely looked like Hanako, with his bright and curious eyes, “Uh, yes, H-Hanako-Chan are you feeling okay?” not listening to him, she continued to glare. Soft black hair and a devilish smile, that was still the same however he also looked… different, Yashiro could hear footsteps coming closer but that didn’t matter, what was it that made him seem so different- Oh gosh! He looked- He looked alive! “Hanako-chan are you? Are you uh-” Nene also couldn’t ignore that he looked… much taller and much more… well, handsome. Nene felt her ears flush at that last thought and slapped her hands to her face ‘I can’t get distracted here, there's clearly something wrong’ she thought.

Nene noticed that she and the young man infront of her had been quiet for too long. Hm? When had he gotten that clos- “AHHHHHH!” Nene shrieked as she felt the boy grab and move her into a stairwell, she felt as his fingers trailed down her arms and his hands gently yet forcefully fondle her face, ‘this has surely got to be one of the worst cases of grabby-hands Hanako has treated me with yet!’ she thought, feeling the temperature of her face rise as the now very handsome (despite only being a few inches taller now) hanako traced her arms, neck and face. As she noticed her own heated cheeks, she then noticed his, for a supposedly dead-man.. He had very rosy cheeks.. And why were his hands so warm? As Hanako’s hands stopped trailing over her upper body, she convinced herself to look at him, two bright warm eyes met her back.

“Are you alive?” they asked eachother in sync.

#hananene #toilet bound hanako kun #nene yashiro #tbhk hanako #tbhk #hanako kun #first tumblr post #wait can i literally just write whatever i want as a tag #poopoo #holy crap i can #im going to abuse the hell out of this #well #if i even end up using tumblr regularly #anyways #yugi amane #jshk #jshk hanako #jibaku shounen hanako kun #fanfic

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justauthoring · 2 years

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lacuna - chapter one.

*lacuna: a blank space; a missing piece or, “you’re my missing piece”.

word count: 4,026

a/n: here it is! (like four days late) my new series :) it will eventually be a kakashi hatake x reader, but im starting off things slow. i honestly have no idea how long this’ll be, we are just kind of going with the flow currently. nonetheless, i hope you guys enjoy this first chapter!

“Lord Third—!”

“We’ve set him up with an apartment, I’ve taken care of how his monthly expenses will work once he’s old enough. Y/N, honestly, there is no need for worry. The boy will be taken care of.”

“By who?”

The Hokage frowns, and you can tell by his lack of response that there isn’t specifically anyone.

Huffing, your shoulders fall. Your throat feels raw and the pure desperation flooding through your veins is making you lose sight of coherent thought. All you can think about is getting your point across, about trying to make the Hokage see reason—he had to see reason.

He had to understand.

“He’s just a child,” you cry out; forgetting yourself, forgetting who you’re stood before. “He shouldn’t grow up alone.”

“Y/N, you are a child yourself.”

Faltering, you shake your head, apprehension coursing through you as his words sink in. He was right, of course he was—you were just a child, no older than fourteen and by all rights, you were probably, realistically the least most qualified person to take care of a child. Of a baby no less. But he had nobody else. Not anymore, and certainly not when everyone who heard his name shrank away in pure terror.

No one wanted to take care of him, a mere baby, because of what was inside him. It hardly mattered either way to you—Kushina had had the same ‘monster’ in her, and she’d been like a mother to you. A guiding figure in your life. Never once had she scared you, hurt you and rather, she’d comforted you, cared for you and loved you when no one else had.

You weren’t afraid of this monster and you certainly weren’t afraid of this baby.

What did it even matter that you were a child? You’d been taking care of yourself for as long as you could remember and had done just fine.

Besides, anything was better than growing up alone.

You knew that better than anyone.

“Kushina and Minato took care of me when no one else would,” you whisper, the Hokage’s eyes widening at the mention of their names, a deep frown curling onto his lips. “Kushina was like the mother I never had and I know she would hate if her baby, her son grew up alone. With no one to love him. To hold him, care for him...

“I know I am just a child myself, Lord Third. But please,” steeling your gaze, you meet his own firmly, squaring your shoulders. “I don’t want Naruto to grow up not knowing what love feels like.”

His lips part, but words hesitate to leave.

“Like I did.”

Letting out a sigh, the Hokage’s head falls in defeat. It takes him a moment, a pause in thought, before his head is lifting and he’s pushing himself to his feet. You watch him closely as he rounds his table, before stopping before you, a gentle hand falling on your shoulder and a soft smile curling onto his lips.

“I will help with expenses and we will figure out how to work out missions for you.”

Your eyes gleam with hope, promise shining in them.

“But, Y/N, are you absolutely sure?”

And without hesitation, without even a thought of doubt, you nod.

“Of course I am.”

Before you know it, he’s in your arms. A bundle of giggles and blonde hair, wrapped up tightly in a blue blanket with small, chubby hands reaching out for you. You see Minato in him, the tufts of blonde hair and striking blue eyes, but it’s the expression in his eyes--just a baby, no more than a few weeks old--that you see Kushina staring back at you.

The tears well in your eyes before you can stop them, blurring your vision as he continues to babble on up at you.

Reaching out a finger, you poke at the whiskers marking his cheeks ever-so-gently, a smile curling onto your lips when he giggles at the touch. The sound is infectious and it warms your heart, love blooming in your chest as you sniffle.

“My names Y/N, Naruto,” you whisper, “and I’m going to take care of you for your mama and papa.”

—

“Naruto!”

His head is bowed so all you can see is his wild blonde hair staring back at you, hands folded in his lap as he brings his knees closer to his chest. You know it’s an attempt to hide himself from you; definitely, at the very least, hiding his face from your eyes. But you’ve been nearly out of your mind in worry for him, searching high and low through the village, that you don’t have the mind to care.

Falling to your knees before him, you let out a huff. “I’ve been worried sick about you, Naruto! You know you’re not supposed to--”

But your words fall silent as he slowly tips his head up, just enough to see his face and the scuffs marks across his forehead and his clothes, dirtying the freshly washed shirt you’d given him earlier that morning. However, that hardly bothers you and rather, it’s the large bruise across his cheek that catches your attention, eyes widening in panic as you instantly reach out for him, fingers softly brushing against the darkening mark as he winces.

“Naruto... What happened?”

Your voice is soft, a mere whisper; not a single trace of anger or frustration left in your voice as you frown deeply, chest tightening with panic.

Who could’ve done this to him? A little boy, no older than four--

Then it sinks.

“Naruto,” you call gently, a hand falling to his chin where you gently tip it upwards, meeting his eyes properly. “Did the villagers do this to you?”

His eyes instantly water, bottom lip wobbling as you feel your heart practically shatter. It’s not only the sight--a little boy, reduced to tears by cruel adults who sneer at him, say horrible, cruel things to him, and throw things at him hard enough to leave bruises. But the realization that no matter how hard you try, no matter how many times you’ve yelled and pleaded--falling to your knees, begging, in front of people--just for them to stop.

Stop terrorizing him.

None of it matters.

Their fear is too strong that they hardly care to see reason.

“I-I don’t understand,” Naruto babbles—words slurred and fumbled as tears stream down his cheeks and a sob wretches past his lips. You hastily wipe at his tears, the frown on your lips deepening as his tiny fingers grip onto the hem of his shirt, knuckles white. “I didn’t do anything!”

And he’s right of course. He hasn’t. Naruto, four years old, hasn’t done other than maybe break a plate or throw a tantrum for a silly reason. He’s a perfectly innocent child, maybe a little mischievous but nothing more than that.

But this monster, this thing inside of him—that was hardly in his control—had. More than just had; it’s killed people. Innocents. Terrorized the village. Killed Naruto’s own parents. And it’s just because it’s inside Naruto that he’s feared.

It’s hardly fair but you can’t do anything about it.

Mustering a smile to your lips, you hope it’s convincing enough as you lean back, pulling Naruto gently up to his feet. He lets you lead him, the tears having faded but still a frown on his lips as you dust off the dirt on his clothes, tidying him up.

“Come on, Naruto.” You call gently, brushing a hand over his bruise. “Let’s get you home, get you in some new clothes and how about I take you out for ramen tonight?”

Almost instantly, his face brightens. His eyes shine at the thought of his favourite food, especially from Ichiraku and not cup-style, and the pain is far from his gaze as he eagerly takes your extended hand, threading his fingers through your own firmly. His hand feels warm in yours, and like a perfect fit as you squeeze back, chuckling to yourself as he bounds ahead of you, skipping and pulling you along.

—

“You didn’t have to walk me...”

“It’s your first day, Naruto! Of course I had to.”

Blushing profusely, Naruto huffs, turning his head away from you as you merely sigh, shaking your head.

“Lot’s of other kids have their parents walking them.” You call out, hoping that he’s not actually that mad at you for your insistence to walk him—you knew it was slightly embarrassing, but you couldn’t help yourself! You remember your first day at the academy and how nervous you’d been. You didn’t want Naruto to have to go alone.

Even though the young boy was the complete opposite of you and was the furthest thing from nervous.

Crouching down next to Naruto, you point ahead of yourself. “Look, there’s a pretty pink-haired girl walking with her dad. See?”

Naruto peeks slightly, behind his hand which he’s used to cover his reddening cheeks, and when seeing what you have, his shoulders slowly fall and his hand returns to his side. The red in his cheeks fade slightly and he takes a good look around, noticing that, yes, in fact, lot’s of kids were being walked to school by their parents.

“…Thank you, Y/N-nee-chan.”

Smiling softly, you ruffle the top of Naruto’s head, laughing as he quickly swats at your hands.

“Your hairs already a mess, Naruto. I’m helping.”

“No, I styled it this morning!”

“With what?”

“Water.”

Rolling your eyes, you snort—but still, you pull your hand away.

“Okay,” you inhale sharply, “you’ll be good, right?”

Meeting your eyes, Naruto huffs. “Of course.”

Quirking a brow, you raise a finger, starting to list of the rules you’d gone through with him before. “No pranks, no yelling or interrupting the teacher, stay in your seat until the end of class--”

“Yes, yes, Y/N-nee-chan! I get it!”

Huffing, you nod, a smile gracing your lips as you reluctantly stop. A quick glance to your right and you see Iruka-sensei calling forth the new students and know it’s time to say goodbye.

Ignoring the tightening of your chest and the worry, you turn back to Naruto, setting your hands over his arms.

“I’ll pick you up after school, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Right here.”

“Yes! I’m gonna be late.”

Knowing Naruto’s right, you nod, letting go of him with a nervous smile.

But, just before he runs off, Iruka’s voice growing louder, Naruto leans forward, pressing a firm but gentle kiss to your cheek. It’s quick and when he pulls back, he’s red in the face, but there’s also a bright, radiating grin on his face and you feel your heart bloom at the sight of him so happy.

“Bye Y/N-nee-chan!”

Waving back at him, you watch him run in to the building past Iruka, pushing yourself up as you press a hand to your cheek.

What a sweet boy.

—

“I can’t believe she would take in such a child.”

“She must be as much of a monster herself.”

Rolling your eyes at the passing comments, you clutch the bag of groceries tighter. At this point, it was easy enough to ignore the gossip that travelled amongst the village. People could hardly keep their opinions to themselves, and outside of your fellow coworkers, quite a lot of the citizens seemed to be puzzled by your decision to take in Naruto.

As if he wasn’t just a child.

Nonetheless, you weren’t as childish yourself to retaliate. Truly they could say what they want about you, it hardly—

“How does she know he won’t murder her like he murdered the Fourth Hokage and his wife?”

Stilling in your step, your body freezes.

Head turning over your shoulder, you glance around, looking for the woman who’d spoken. She’s easy enough to find; tucked into an corner next to a fruit stand, whispering with her friend like two school girls.

Eyes sharpening, you turn towards her, marching right her way.

The two woman’s eyes widen when they see you’re approaching figure, shuffling back slightly in uncertainty as you bound towards them. You’re practically huffing in frustration, anger and disbelief coursing through your veins at their complete lack of respect and decency.

“I’d appreciate if you kept your mouths shut on matters that don’t concern you.”

The woman who’d spoken, scoffs; “excuse me?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” you hiss, leaning further towards her. “You can say all you want about me, but he’s just a boy. I won’t tolerate you spitting such ridiculous lies—“

“Y/N-nee-chan?”

Pausing at the sound Naruto’s soft voice, your eyes widen at the sight of him stood slightly behind you, glancing at you with furrowed brows and a frown.

“Naruto…”

You hear a gasp and you just barely manage to catch sight of the two woman gasping in fright at the sight of Naruto before quickly turning around, running the other direction.

Scoffing, you roll your eyes. Pathetic.

“Nee-chan?”

Turning back to Naruto, you smile down at him softly, extending your hand out towards him.

“Come on, Naruto. Let’s get you home. It’s almost dinner time.”

“Oh! Oh! Can we have ramen for dinner?”

Laughing lightly you shake your head, “we had ramen last night, Naruto. You need a better diet for a growing boy.”

—

“Would you like me to help with shuriken practice today?”

The continuous sound of Naruto’s slurping suddenly stops, and with a quirked brow, you turn your head over your shoulder, brows furrowing at the expression on his face.

Frowning, you shake your head.

“We don’t have to--”

“You’d really help me, nee-chan?”

Frowning, you set the plate you’d been drying down, making your way over to the table and taking a seat in front of Naruto.

“Of course,” you say with ease, nodding. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Naruto shrugs. “Everybody in my class is always talking about their fathers and brothers training them... There’s this one boy, Sasuke-teme. He thinks he’s so much better than me and he always beats me at everything! And I saw him with his brother today after school talking about how excited he was for shuriken training, and I don’t think it’s fair that he has someone to train him.”

Lips parting, your chest tightens as you feel guilt flood you.

You hadn’t realized Naruto wanted someone to train him that badly. Sometimes you’re so wrapped up in missions and trying to make sure Naruto has everything he needs that you sometimes forget how he must be feeling sometimes. Or about the basic, day-to-day bonding he’d be craving as a young boy. You’re not his mother, and you made sure Naruto knew that—the Hokage doesn’t want him to know who is parents are, a fact you’ve fought tooth and nail for with the no avail.

But you didn’t want Naruto thinking you were his mother—not when he had two parents who loved him deeply. And always would, even in death.

And even if you’re not his mother, you’re certainly (obviously) not his father—and you couldn’t give him that guidance that a young boy needs from one. You could hardly speak from experience, having no father yourself.

“I’m sorry, Naruto,” you sigh, shoulders slumping as you shake your head. “I didn’t realize how you must be feeling.”

Lips parting, Naruto moves to speak—but you don’t realize, and continue on before he can.

“I know I can’t be a strong father or a cool brother to you, and never can be, but I’d love to help you with your training. Whenever you need, okay?”

“Y/N-nee-chan.”

Blinking at Naruto’s oddly stern voice, you meet his gaze.

“I don’t care if I don’t have a father or brother,” he whispers, “I just want you to train me.”

Body easing, a warmth floods your chest at his words, a bright smile curling onto your lips.

“Finish your supper and then we’ll go out to train, okay?”

“Okay!”

—

“Good luck today, okay, Naruto?”

With a bright, shining grin, Naruto hardly falters just like he always does. Today was the day, the test that would confirm if he would be a ninja or not. He’s, unfortunately, failed two times previous today and the two have you have been relentlessly to help him sharpen his skills.

He was pretty good at most things... mostly good. But he seemed to struggle at producing a shadow clone, one of the basics that a child needed to know in order to graduate from the ninja academy. You’ve been working hard to try and help him at least create one semi successful shadow clone, but have yet to be able to.

Nonetheless, despite you spending the entire night worrying—Naruto had woken up with a bright smile, never wavering and not an ounce of doubt in his mind.

If there’s one thing Naruto had, it was confidence

“Of course, nee-chan. I’m gonna pass the test today, for sure.”

Biting your lip, you swallow thickly. You smile lightly, meeting his eyes with a nervous laugh. “I’m sure you will. But... even if you don’t, I won’t be any less proud of you, okay?” Naruto’s face falters and he frowns down at you, not understanding your words.

“I just mean... there are lots of other things besides being a ninja, right? You don’t have—”

“Of course I have to!” Naruto sharply interrupts you, stunning you as you blink at him. His face has hardened and he looks suddenly ten times more determined than he had seconds prior. “I already told you. I’m going to be Hokage one day, nee-chan, and will make the world recognize me. Believe it!”

Shoulders easing, you smile slightly. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry, Naruto. I know you will.”

Grinning, Naruto sends you a thumbs up. “Today’s the day! I know it! I’ll be one step closer to being Hokage, and being able to protect you, nee-chan.”

Cheeks warming, your smile brightens at his innocent, warming words.

Reaching forward, you lightly ruffle his hair. “I know, Naruto. You’re gonna pass today, believe it!”

He shrugs your hands away, but grins at your words, his thumbs up never wavering as he shuffles back.

“When I see you later today, nee-chan, I’m gonna have a headband, believe it!”

“Please, Lord Third, you have to understand! I’m sure he didn’t mean it. He’s a good boy, a really good boy. I know he plays pranks a lot and can cause trouble for the village but Naruto means well. If I could just speak to him, I know he didn’t do this—!”

The Hokage raises his hand and you still have half the mind to understand what that means and what your position is as a ninja. Wisely shutting your mouth, you ignore the tightening of your chest and the way you desperately want to plead and beg until you’re positive Naruto is okay.

Instead, you keep your mouth shut, waiting patiently.

You know the Hokage is not a cruel man and you pray he’ll have sympathy for Naruto.

“You misunderstand me, Y/N.”

Brows furrowing, you glance up to meet his eyes.

“I have no intention of bringing any harm to Naruto. I merely want to find him and the scroll.”

Eyes widening, your lips part; “I—!”

“Surely you understand why I cannot send you after the boy, Y/N. But I promise you, I’ve sent teams to find him already and I’ll bring him safe back to you.”

Shoulders easing, you bite back the argument about finding Naruto yourself. It’d be wise not to push the Hokage more—because at the end of the day, you know what Naruto has done is terribly wrong. Stealing The Scroll of Sealing... You can’t believe the boy would have the nerve to do so.

You honestly thought you raised him better than to do something so childish and stupid. An act like that would normally be considered an act of treason, and you have all the Gods to thank, and the Hokage stood before you that Naruto’s actions haven’t.

You don’t know what you’d do if they had.

Setting a hand on your shoulder, much like he had on that day twelve years ago, the Hokage squeezes it; as if already knowing the thoughts that swarm your mind relentlessly.

“Just wait here.”

And so you do. You do, and it feels like eternity has passed when really it’s only been an hour. You’ve dug welts into your palms from clenching your fists so hard, and you’re sure you’ve dug a whole in your own lip from biting it so hard. And you’re just about to disregard the Hokage ordering you to stay put and find Naruto yourself, when the door opens.

When you turn, eyes wide with hope and anticipation; the first person you see is Iruka. And for a second, just a split second, your heart plummets and you fear the worst, but then you see a peak of blonde hair and relief floods your entire body, easing the muscles that had been tensed since you’d heard about what Naruto had done.

With a gasp, you call out; “Iruka!”

He smiles at you, and distantly you notice the wounds marking his face. But you can barely think of asking him if he’s okay when he turns, letting Naruto slip past him and your eyes finally fall on the boy that’s sent you into a near panic attack with absolute worry and fear, your feet moving before you can stop them.

Naruto walks in slowly, head bowed, fearing how mad you’ll be. Especially when he wouldn’t expect anything else, knowing how severe of a mistake he’s made. However, he’s shocked when instead of hearing yelling or receiving lecture, he feels your arms wrapping around him tightly, pulling you flush against your chest as you press a hand to the back of his head.

He’s frozen still with surprise for a moment. But then, as Naruto listens, his lips frown and his guilt-ridden gaze turns to one of concern when he hears how shaky your breathing is. He also, in that moment, notices how despite how tightly you’re squeezing him, he can feel you shaking against him and hear your heart pounding erratically against his ear that’s pressed against your chest.

“I was so worried,” you breathe, voice a gentle whisper.

Iruka slips out of the room then, but neither of you notice.

“Don’t ever do that to me again.”

Slowly easing in your grasp, Naruto shakes his head in your grip, pulling away enough to meet your gaze. “You’re not mad?”

“I was,” you admit, nodding at him with a deep frown. Naruto falters, guilt flooding his gaze once again, avoiding your gaze, but you just shake your head, letting your hands fall on his arms. “But I’m just happy you’re okay and safe and—“

Pausing, your eyes catch a glint of silver and your lips part.

“Is that—?”

“Oh,” blushing, Naruto chuckles faintly, bashful. “Iruka-sensei gave it to me. He told me I’d proved myself as a ninja.”

Eyes widening, it’s take you a second to process Naruto’s words before a full fledge smile curls onto your lips. You have no idea what had happened tonight, but you know Naruto and his infectious ability to help everything and everyone around him. You’re sure he’s barely aware of it himself, but him simply just being apart of your life has healed you in ways you’d never thought possible.

You figure that he’d done that tonight, and proved he was ready to be the ninja you’d always knew he’d be.

A squeal of excitement leaves your lips, stunning Naruto, before he finds himself wrapped tightly in your waiting embrace once more.

“Nee-chan!” He sputters, startled.

“I’m so proud of you, Naruto! So, so proud!”

And after a moment, seeing the genuine pride shining in your eyes and the bright, radiating smile on your face, Naruto returns your embrace, smaller arms moving to wrap around your waist as he presses his head into the crook of your neck.

He relishes in the moment, eyes falling shut.

“I’m gonna be Hokage one day, nee-chan, and I swear to you, I’ll protect you for the rest of my life, believe it!”

#naruto #naruto imagine #naruto x reader #naruto shippuden #naruto shippuden imagine #naruto shippuden x reader #kakashi hatake #kakashi hatake imagine #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi #kakashi imagine #kakashi x reader #naruto uzumaki #naruto uzumaki x reader #imagine #imagines #my fics

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grahamcarmen · 4 months

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Nothing making my eyes roll all the way back in my head more rn then " he doesn't deserve her but -" in reference to any type of relationship they could have [usually to the tune of him returning to being the " like a big brother" she used to think he was and completely ignoring the *everything*]

Its so off handedly dismissive of gray and by proxy carmen for caring about him I hate it

Do I understand hating the double down decisions? Sure. but like wow its almost like hes literally the one who got shot FOR her sake BY her after thinking he would be left with nothing but a [hey she made it]

and then people start pulling the *deserve card for a [ I GUESS they probably can acknowledge they give a shit about each other or smth as a lil bow, maybe continue the same old same ol']

Because Heaven forbid carmen actually have to fully go through a complex thought about a dynamic that wasn't as simple as her side or nothing at all when how it ended currently was her side and nothing [because wattya know he probably has feelings about this whole thing that aren't so simple and double forbid his feelings be allowed to be more complicated than gee wilikers im ready to be the brosef i guess you wanted me to be. 😒barf.]

CARMEN values his past kindness and she decides. This person is important to her. She wants him to be with her.

her reaction to him

* getting what he deserves* is to break down

[Which I guess side note: 🙄there ya go. what a VILE agent might "deserve" canonically all done.]

saying he doesn't deserve her caring???

Bro HE GOT ELECTROCUTED

AND the phrase is a mild stab at carmen at literally any point even when they're guarded [mildly still nostalgic] towards each other like in the pilot because SHE IS THERE BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO SEE IF HE COULD BE ON HER SIDE AGAIN, KNOWING! WHAT HE WAS CAPABLE OF.

She still thought he deserved* that much at least.

And she still has affection for him even when it looks like he's someone who doesn't *deserve* it

She wants to be allowed to care.

Like sometimes

Love&affection =/= only to those who deserve it

Like sometimes -

Its just something someone wants to give [and hey look its almost like he ends his current arc giving back to her as well] and the phrase "doesn't deserve but I guess -" just -

Just -

Youtube look straight into my eyes and explain why it occurs to you to think that that is what I love seeing on my browsing experience

#its annoying. i dont subscribe to the i GUESS sentiment concerning them. never will.#op vents #if you were real sibling truthers you'd understand (i know theres better brothers but your the only one thats mine)#GOD and thats why im not a sibling truther at all #barf if the conclusion is that carmen not have to actually have a complex thought about their dynamic at all #barf if gray has to swallow any feelings for the rest of time just to fall in line #like gah #i know i say i hate them sometimes but its just a joke on how they just shake my feelings in their storm of emotions. i love it.#maybe if you guys love each other true youll feel better 😤#youtube why dont you offer me amvs i like instead #stupid ass

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lesboygamzee · 5 months

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ACT ONE - PART ONE

in reading homestuck again im going to try my best to analyse it to my fullest potential ; while i definitely like to enjoy homestuck Casually i think that doesnt necessarily mean i need to abandon fullblown analysis . i can acknowledge Hard Canon and The Implications in the same way i can acknowledge silly stuff + how im usually going to write characters . something something you have to know the rules to break them . thisll be half rambling half ( poor ) attempts at analysis and a bit of me going Hehe joke funny also i will use the characterses canon names and pronouns for simplicity + i feel its most suited . the exception is tavros because i have tried to not she/her tavros before and it was difficult and Painful i would never do that to her ... anyway .

[…] My intent was always to make the start date a very significant number in the story, recurring frequently. Consequently, I decided to make him thirteen years old, thus making the story about four thirteen-year-old kids. There are more references to this number than can be mentioned casually, some of which are serendipitous. Playing cards, which have a good deal of relevance later, are comprised of four suits of thirteen cards each, for instance.

(page 1 author commentary)

i wont point out every case of 413 occurring but i will point out cases i find particularly interesting or fun :o) the suit of cards thing isnt something i picked up on at first but thats interesting to know ! on page two john is incorrectly named ' zoosmell pooplord ' . zoosmell being a reference to an older comic ( series of comics ? ) of hussies . i read it to see if theres anything of value i can find in there ; even in the silliest and least plot driven media you can find some sort of significance to an authors later work . maybe an idea , a character archetype , or just the plot structure . zoosmells holds no value at all and is stupid though so

im not sure if i talk about it much but i do really like how each main characterses room is in homestuck . not only are they typically really good at getting across a characters basic interests but early on with the beta kids they really sold the whole ' webcomic pretending to be a game ( that is actually a game pretending to be a webcomic ) ' thing . the simplicity of it all , the items of interest scattered around in sometimes nonsensical places , even shit like how the walls are drawn just gives the impression of a guy who you can walk around and play as . and you can ! eventually .

Your name is JOHN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. You also like to play GAMES sometimes. What will you do?

(page 4) time for analysing interests . while characterses interests definitely dont mean NOTHING in the greater scheme of things theyre probably not as important as most other shit . i find them fun to look into , though :o3

really terrible movies - i need to actually watch these , and i plan to ! im not much of a movie guy unfortunately . i dont think theyll be the end all be all of john analysis but i doubt theyll hold NO value . apparently theyre quite shit but i willing watch the big bang theory so i think ill be fine programming computers - john is the ' player character ' in a story that is currently quite programming-joke-heavy . the fact that hes kind of dogshit at it adds to this . guy doesnt know what hes doing yet and neither do you ! simple enough . paranormal lore - johns interest in ghosts is relatively significant but id consider it more ' iconic ' . the guy likes ghostbusters , his tshirt is a knockoff slimer , etc. i think all of the kids have one of these . it doesnt matter much in the greater scheme of things but i think its cool to see what interest a character is sort of built off of even if it gets overshadowed by other shit quickly ameteur magician - im a little lost on this one honestly . it can kind of go hand in hand with pranks i guess ? maybe theres something worth looking into with regards to characters and their relationship with magic . john seems to specifically focus on magic tricks which is opposed to roses interest in Real Fucking Magic . probably not though thats stupid

on page six is a rare appearence of the cursor . its a remnant from the homestuck beta where every panel was going to be a flash panel . it was ditched for good reason

its also one of the most blatant parts of the video game feel of early homestuck . thats a reader input interacting with a fictional world ! thats all there really is to say on it though i just thought it was neat

biggest plot twist in fucking history

You stow the SMOKE PELLETS on one of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS in your SYLLADEX.

(page 9)

i love sylladexes . johns is obviously based off a stack data structure . john rose and dave all have data structure inspsired moduses which i appreciate but i kind of like the silly ones that come into play later on too !!! like all of jades . unfortunate that they get dropped almost entirely eventually :o(

i should give characters that dont get one them . theyre pretty awesome i think

John: Examine Problem Sleuth Poster.

PROBLEM SLEUTH MENTION !!!!!!!!!!!

John: Read note on drawer. This note is rich with the aromas of FATHERLY AFTERSHAVES AND COLOGNES.

(page 12)

i made a seperate post awhile back on how dadbert is a sort of symbol of masculinity of fatherhood of manhood etc etc and more specifically how this interacts with reading jeggbert as transfem or otherwise Not A Dude . i still think that holds some decent value

In any case, you now feel like you have gathered enough things to get down to business and do some really important stuff. The next thing you do will probably be exceptionally meaningful. John: Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk.

(page 15)

snrk . anyway , since it reminded me : regarding analysis that strongly take timelines into consideration when i look at a lot of homestuck character analysis i see a lot of people try and make a point of ' oh the homestuck characters dont actually HAVE these specific character traits because in ANOTHER TIMELINE they did so and so ' and while i get that , timelines are interesting as a concept and its fun to think about , it doesnt exactly have a place in character analysis . homestuck is ultimately a story and the characters are less like people and moreso tools to tell that story . this is simple shit i am well aware i am not acting like what i am saying is revolutionary but it does lead to people losing the plot a little ( literally lol ) but like .. character a doing something instead of character b or character c sparing character d or whatever blah blah blah . did these all happen ? yeah sure probably . hell you can explore that in an au and ill probably go ' woah , cool ! ' because again its fun to think about . but it doesnt matter .. homestuck tells a story and while it focuses on multiple timelines . just because john took a shit on his desk in one timeline doesnt mean i need to be factoring in ' probably took a shit on his desk at least once ' to how i write him as a character . he would not fucking do that because he does not do that in homestuck . go and write your shit-on-desk-taker!john au but it has no place in canon analysis and you dont really need to think about it all that much

typheus is a wind god etc etc basic observation . i would really like to read more on the denizens and what gods theyre inspired by but the sources i find are really long and hard to parse .. ill have to look at other peopleses analysis if i want to understand anything i will be honest

on page 25 is the first pesterlog to appear in homestuck , between john and some loser nobody cares about . in a post i unfortunately dont have the link to , said loser is compared to a sort of tutorial character for early homestuck , similarly to johns status as the player character . obviously as homestuck goes on more characters become ' playable ' , as in you see the story through their perspective . but its a pretty neat observation for the early comic !

TG: but who cares about this lets stop talking about it TG: did you get the beta yet EB: no. EB: did you? TG: man i got two copies already [...] TG: why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now EB: alright.

(page 26)

^ classic tutorial conversation . go do your objective !!! your first quest !!!!

[...] The red flippy-lever thing means you have new mail. And that means the beta might be here!

(page 28)

FACT CHECK : this is false === SHITTY ASCII 'BANNER' THAT OF WE ARE DONE HERE ===

anyway it is day two of me working on twenty eight fucking pages and it just hit midnight which means i am going to play miitopia . this is likely going to be one of the shorter posts but i hope i get less rambly as i go on so i can read more than an average of fourteen pages a day jesus fucking christ . Anyway

#homestuck #gamzreread

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neatimmortal · 3 months

Text

Snippet of something im working on rn

this is gonna get lost anyways lol. anyways here's your fanfic formalities:

heizou x GN reader! modern?au!

TW: Character death, direct mentions of war (not a specific just a war), implied terrible injuries but very vaguely described.

DISCLAIMER: this is part of a longfic im currently cooking, and plan to start publishing on ao3 (once i figure out how to even work the site). This is not proofread! I quite literally just wrote this. Excited for this project.

1k wk.

As the bullets flew, one thing was clear. This was the end. And by Archons had it taken its’ time, you thought. A hand that took you longer to identify as yours than it should’ve was wrapped tightly around your abdomen, in a pitiful attempt to dissuade the bleeding from continuing it’s relentless pace. Your ears had been ringing since you arrived here weeks ago, the non-stop firing of guns and other military-grade weapons of destructions and what have you. You had assumed your eyes to refuse to focus on anything much like how your ears never ceased to stop ringing however you had not been aware of just how unfocused they could be until you had caught a couple of bullets yourself.

Was it vain to be curious as to what you looked like? Not in the “I-hope-I-at-least-look-as-decent-as-I-can-be-given-the-situation” type of way, but just how harshly had this war torn into you? Did you look as bad as you felt? You pondered as you trudged along the debris and worn trees. You weren’t sure where you were going. Just away, was all you really could think at the moment. Away from the gunfire, from the yelling, from the flares, the blood, the death, all of it. Away from all of it. A moment of peace.

Surely you at least deserved that, right? Just a moment. Nothing shorter or longer. Just a moment, to tip your head back, breathe in some air that didn’t feel filtered through the horrors you had been facing for the past couple of weeks while being stationed here. Your feet made up the destination before your mind did, tripping clumsily and falling to the ground in a partially-shaded area in the woods. Not even the strength to complain, a moment of peace, was all you repeated in your mind, as you struggled and eventually managed to turn on your back and face up at the sky.

You must have been further out than you thought. That or you just never really had the time to admire the sky when you were busy reloading the gun you had been given. It was a pretty blue. Not a cloud in sight, yet the sun’s warmth wasn’t unbearable. It was almost comforting, like how a mother cradles their child in their arms to help soothe them.

It was by some misfortune that your moment of peace was so rudely interrupted by someone else. They were picking their way through the forest, much like you had been doing not so long ago, with heavy, labored breaths. It was an even greater misfortune when you managed to discern the sound and made eye contact with a reddish-brown haired man, wearing the enemy’s uniform.

You had no gun on you. Not anymore at least. You knew the exact reason you had come all this way out here anyways, and figured you wouldn’t need it. Would he put you out of your misery, with a bullet to the head? Would he be kind enough to do that? Or would he beat you as you slowly bled and laugh maniacally? War was a terrible invention from long ago that brought out the inhumane side of humanity. To your upmost surprise, he let out a breathless chuckle, before flopping down near you. “Looks like someone had the same idea as me. What are the odds?” He spoke, his voice was terse, no doubt in as much pain as you probably were.

You let out a similarly sounding laugh as you replied, “apparently greater than either of us probably realized.” After a moment (used to gather enough oxygen in your lungs to speak again, truly it was a feat at this point), you continued. “How old are you?” The man let out a cough, then a couple more, before responding, “20, you?” “19. Turning 20 in a couple of weeks.” “Happy early Birthday then!” He congratulated, mustering whatever grandeur he could, earning another strained giggle from you. It was quiet for a moment. Then two. Then three.

You turned to look at your companion, had he already left you? To some relief (ironic how you were thankful that this soldier that you had likely been shooting at for days on end was still alive, if you made it out of here you’d for sure laugh about it.), it seemed as though he was just coming to terms with it all, he knew as well as you. He hadn’t fallen too far of a distant from you actually. Mustering up some strength, you reached your hand out towards him. Thankfully, he noticed without you having to get his attention. Looking at your hand, then up to make eye contact with you, you could see the tears forming in his eyes. He stared at you for a second, his troubles all televised too well on his features before he spoke. “I don’t want to die.” He whispered, the joking tone from earlier miles away. His voice wavered slightly, likely from the tears, but it must have been the way that he said it that caused a weight to settle in your chest. Rather than breaking down, though you could certainly feel your own tears beginning to well up in your eyes, you simply nodded at him.

“Me either,” your lips pressed into a sad smile, as there was no help coming, Both of you knew it. That was why both of you had come out here. For a moment of peace. It was well deserved, wasn’t it? He nodded and took your hand, grasping as tightly as he could muster for some solace. The two of you laid there for some time. No words spoken, no more action took. You each just stared up at the sky, not daring to look at each other anymore (at the chance to see their new companion had already gone ahead of them), hands intertwined. It was not what you had expected when you began your march out here, but you doubted that his expectations were any different from yours.

A moment of peace was what you both got.

#heizou x reader #heizou x reader angst #heizou angst #idkman #i think i might be an old lady in disguise cause idk how to format posts here #dont let this snippet fool you this is a very short section of the fic #youtube:howtousea03.com

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destinyc1020 · 8 months

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By the way Hollywood is i would just b content with Kaia being in her late 20s n Austin in his late 30s bt 20 (wen they met) is just so.. young. I actually enjoy Kaias book club n she said in the last one that was told a lot that she was very "mature" n a "old soul" when she was young n i definetly get that vibe from her, i feel like she thinks shes more mature bt by her interviews she sounds like her age to me tbh (nt a bad thing though shes still seems more stable than a lot of other nepo baby models).

I did think her n JE were going to last longer, they give off the same kinda vibe imo. In his print interviews he seems pretentious/wanting to emulate old hollywood stars or Health Ledger n Kaia mentioned smthin about how an artist isnt going to sacrifice their movie for someones kid (wrong lol) cuz thats not how art is made n she wants to "make art". Just by those comments i got why they were a couple ☠️ both of them can just sound very eye rolling to put it plainly lol kaia seems a lil more geniune wen shes nt ignorant about nepotism tho lol

Im srry bt the "rent a model gf" gave me a lil chuckle lmao it def helps wen her last n current bf have been actors n she wants to b an actress now. Anytime someone mentions her its either cuz her mom or shes "_'s gf". I think shes prob going to continue to have a deal with the paps until or if her acting career takes off cuz they give her visibility in hollywood

Late 20s would be fine....shoot... even 25 would be better and just fine imo lol 😆

I've always liked the fact that Kaia had her book club, and it's smthg she's done for years. She's a VERY avid reader, so I'm not even surprised that Austin was attracted to her, coz he loves to read also! 😊 Like, I can totally understand why they clicked, cuz they actually have quite a bit in common.

While I do think that Kaia has been forced to grow up VERY quickly in the modeling world, and probably isn't a "regular person's" 21 year old, she's STILL very young (imo), and pretty naïve and out of touch.... You can tell by her interviews. The funny thing is, she doesn't even realize it yet, which is why it's so ironic.

I'm not sure of the context of what she meant by "making art", so I won't comment on that, but part of me almost feels like she's just repeating buzz words lol. At least with JE, I feel like that's who he truly is, and what he truly wants. Although they sometimes looked miserable together lol, I actually think they were better matched? They were closer in age, and seemed to have similar backgrounds.

ALL of us were more naïve at that age though, so it's not a slight towards her, it's just a reminder that she doesn't have much life experience yet. 🤷🏾‍♀️ According to Psychologists, your brain isn't even FULLY developed until your mid-late 20s!

JE grew up pretty privileged, and so did Kaia. When you've been raised around wealth your entire life like Kaia has, it's hard to know how to relate to "common folk".

Re: JE.....

I'm not even surprised he's with Olivia Jade rn lol. 😅 They've actually lasted waaaay longer than I expected, so I guess he stopped cheating on his gfs lol. 🤭

Re: Rent-a-Model-Girlfriend...

Lol I'm sorry rofl 🤣 But after dating Pete Davidson, Jacob Elordi, and now Austin Butler lol, it just seems like I'm noticing a pattern here rofl 🤣 (Hot, up-and-coming actors who are going places lol)

As far as Austin is concerned.....

I'm probably gonna ruffle some Kaustin/Kaia feathers by saying this lol, but I'll say it anyway since I'm ALWAYS 💯% honest here on my blog....

First off, I'll just say, I think Austin is actually a very nice guy, and definitely seems way more humble and in touch with reality due to his background.

But boy does he have a bad woman picker lol 😂 Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the women he's been with have been "bad women" at all (I actually didn't mind Vanessa back when they were dating pre-covid 🥴), I just think that his personality doesn't always align with who he's dating. So his choices are sometimes like, "seriously?" to me lol. Almost like, he doesn't realize that he could do better. 👀

Tbh, I've often wondered if maybe he got with Kaia because after the lengthy Vanessa rlshp and breakup, maybe he just wanted smthg more low-key, easy maintenance, a pretty girl on your arm for movie premieres and press tours so you're not asked about your ex all the time 🙄, and just someone who can be private, and not rustle feathers too much, or be overly obnoxious on social media. 👀

I could be dead wrong, but I kinda get the impression that he's more so focused on his career right now. Yes, he's been in the business for almost 20 years, but he's JUST now getting his big break, so he's a bit behind than some others who got their big breaks in their early 20s or younger. He could def date an older woman again in the future, but I don't think at this moment in his life that he's really looking for an older woman who might be wanting or pressuring marriage right now.... hence, KAIA. 👀 🤷🏾‍♀️

I actually wouldn't mind Kaia too much if she were at least 25 and came from a regular background like himself. She's private, she doesn't say anything about the rlshp, and many famous ppl need you to be that way when you're dating such a high-profile man. Maybe she took notes from Zendaya lol 🤭

Anyway, I think his focus at the moment is his career. You saw how QUICKLY those engagement rumors got squashed right lol? Rofl 🤣 😂 I'd be a little surprised if he gets engaged to Kaia anytime soon. (I could be totally wrong though)

But he is def a guy who seems to prefer stable, long-term rlshps though, so they will probably last quite a while! They might even surprise everyone and get engaged one day, but I don't see it happening tomorrow, in other words. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Honestly?? I actually think Austin would do well to just be SINGLE for 6 months lol. I know that's a TALL order for a handsome, nice guy in the industry lol, but imo I think it would do him well. He's been through a LOT. Not just his mom's death, but other things in his life as well.

Relationship-wise, he went from an 8-yr rlshp with Vanessa, to then a massive breakup, to then a rebound "situationship" with his Elvis costar Olivia, to then another rebound fling with Lily Depp lol.... like laawwwd dude rofl 🤣 😂 Can't you just be single lol? 🤣

I'll give him a slight pass though, cuz 8 years is a very long time to be with someone, and then NOT have anybody.... I always say that the longer your relationship was, the longer you rebound also. I don't even think they broke up in person face-to-face. 👀

Anyway, IF he and Kaia do breakup one day, I'll be looking to see who he gets with next, cuz if it's some young 21 year old again I'm gonna be giving him the MASSIVE side-eye.

🤨

Anyway, those are my thoughts/opinions.... you don't have to agree. 🤷🏾‍♀️

#sorry for the dissertation 😆

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verdantglow · 1 month

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so is it safe to assume that you're going to be going through each of the seasons chronologically then? and exploring how each of their relationships form and change over time? or are you going to pick a set point that is the "current" times and make references back to older series and stunts?

also out of curiousity, whos pov(s) do you watch? im always interested in learning this stuff

also also i think seer of void is perfect for Sc(h)ott and i think heir of rage works really well for Joel. im trying so hard to think of any other classes that would work for him and im just... coming up short. maybe page? because i can see him inciting rage in others and growing stronger as time passes with it. but i dunno. youve thrown me back into my homestuck phase that i thought i had gotten out of years ago and thus have forgotten too much :')

So that’s a bit of tricky question. The campaigns happen in the chronological order of the seasons, but I honestly haven’t settled on what is ‘now.’ Tbh, I’m kinda treating this AU as a playground for all my crossover relevant headcanons & plot bunnies. I’m not planning on making one cohesive fic for this AU. My hope is to do an assortment of art, comics, & fics (& maybe animations?; gods I’d love to do mini animations/“flashes” for this & would like to try to, if I can get my brain to sit still long enough). Each piece will be a different chunk of the story, a significant event or plot line that I feel like examining, rather than there being a linear story. Kinda like a selection of vignettes rather than a novel.

Granted, I’m not married to this idea yet. It’d be a nice way to do things in that it’d allow me to follow my inspirations rather than be stuck in a timeline. But at the same time, I’m not sure how that’ll read/look. I might just start at Secret Life or after Secret Life & do everything else as flashbacks. But it’ll definitely be around the Secret Life time if I do decide to do some linearity because Gem is bae & I desperately need her at least somewhat prominent. (& she joins up with the others between sometime before Limited Life & before Secret Life. Haven’t nailed that quite down either, but she wasn’t part of the group from the get go, like the others. (Everyone was somehow linked to each other from before/around the 3rd Life campaign, even if they didn’t join the VLARP until Last Life.))

Tbh, I haven’t comprehensively watched most of the Traffic seasons. I started watching mcyt when Limited Life was happening, but couldn’t maintain focus at the time. (Probably because I was watching Grian’s viewpoint of EVERY SINGLE SEASON AT THE SAME TIME, dear god what is wrong with me lol.) So until recently, I’d only seen the first half of all of Grian’s seasons. I finally finished his 3rd Life the other day (in one sitting mind you; wild experience) as well as Martyn’s 3rd Life.

When Secret Life rolled around, I was more invested & wound up watching Grian, Mumbo, Gem, Joel, Scar, Lizzie, Martyn, Jimmy, & some of Etho & Cleo.

Right now I’ve got Jimmy & Tango’s 3rd Life, Joel’s Last Life, & Etho’s Double Life going on a rotation. I think that’s all I’m currently watching? I’m kinda crawling through those as I’ve got an absolutely massive list of Hermits I’m watching at the moment. Other POVs I’ve got earmarked for watching at some point: Impulse 3L, Lizzie, Martyn, & Pearl LL, Joel, BigB, & Pearl DL, & I haven’t even started figuring out who I’m gonna watch for LimL.

I’m so flattered this AU is getting you back to Homestuck! You know, I hadn’t seriously thought about it in… six? seven? years, until I had the thought that Scar & Grian made sense as fucked up moirails & I suddenly had an AU to be fascinated by lol. Like. I haven’t even been observing the high holidays for a few years, & now I’m doing in depth research on Lore so I can work on this AU. Funny how life works that way, a new special interest resurrecting an old one.

#trafficstuck #verdant answers #verdant rambles

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alienaiver · 1 year

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oh, for the little writing game how about sakusa wasn't sure if it was a wonderful sign or a sign of disaster but he knew...

also, sorry in advance if the prompt is not very useful haha (๑^-^;๑) i'm sending you lots of love, nohr ♡ you are a fantastic writer!!

ELLE !!!! this one RAN from me i swear i have no idea how it got so long...... it was so fun!!!!!! i hope you enjoy it! im not sure if its exactly what you envisioned but i hope it works all the same and makes you smile !! i love a little lovesick-but-very-awkward sakusa so much.... have a whole fic in my mind for him about being Like That with msby supporting him in woo'ing you //sobs hes SO GOOD had to give this a read more bcos it got long and dont wanna attack anyone with the length LKJFESKFJS <33333

send me a sentence + character and ill write a short scenario where the sentence's included!

Sakusa’s late. It’s a long list of annoying circumstances that makes him late for the last practice of the season – one that he’s been dreading because not much has gone his way and ending it on a negative note grates him. He’s in need of a new phone currently and while that may seem unrelated, it’s unfortunately not. His alarm clock – that Miya talks shit about because who uses alarm clocks in 2022? – laid it’s life last winter and he hasn’t been able to find one that’s the same.

Which is important, because the sound of the clock is what matters and his old one was right.

So he’s been using his phone the past year and it hasn’t been much of a problem for the first part until the battery mysteriously started being unreliable. First, he cursed the charger and bought two or three new ones before he had to finally admit it had nothing to do with those – but that his six-year-old Huawei was about to say goodbye.

Which is still impressive because back then he picked the phone based on the price and didn’t expect it to last as long as it has. He was a broke student at the time and while he isn’t one now, the phone market has become so over-saturated and frankly overwhelming. Every time he goes online to check out which phone to purchase there’s a long list of perks that makes him decide on one – and then he stumbles upon a Reddit post that tells of the longest lists of downsides he’s ever seen.

And it’s like this with every phone he finds. Which pisses him off and he’s been putting off getting a new one precisely for that reason. Komori’s talked about just getting the first and best one since they’ll all have drawbacks but it seems like too a significant choice to just leave up to random chance – what if one of the exact downsides are what he needs the most?

But his alarms didn’t go off – and last night he came in late because Bokuto, Hinata and Miya insisted on watching movies and eating together. If they mention how late he stayed, he’ll probably tell them he felt it rude to leave. If he wasn’t so grumpy from waking up on the wrong side of bed, he’d have told them he had fun. Genuine fun.

He opens the doors to the arena they train in and go straight to the changing rooms. He’s trying to turn on his phone as he walks, knowing the way by heart. Considering that others might walk on his exact route wasn’t on his mind today, so the impact he feels at walking straight into you and dropping his phone makes him yelp out loud. He inhales sharply to try and mask his embarrassment from making the sound of loud. He narrows his eyes as he watches you, keeping himself as neutral as possible.

Of all days, he meets you today.

Sakusa’s not sure if it’s a wonderful sign or a sign of disaster but he knew… today would be the day he asks you out. After all, he won’t have a reason to come here for a while as off-season begins.

There’s a small café in the sports arena that mostly sells sports drinks and quick foods for the athletes who come here. You work there and every day you sell him all the sports drinks for the entire team. He volunteers to pick them up every time so he can have a chance to talk with you but fails miserably every time. It always becomes a stuttering string of words as he pays for the drinks and bows at you before he awkwardly tries to balance them all in his arms.

Once, you even helped him carry them. He blushed the entire way and said not a single word to you.

You apologize and bend down to pick up his phone. The screen is shattered to pieces – no luck turning that on now, he thinks. You start to apologize profusely as you realize what’s happened and he yells, “it’s okay, it was”- he clears his throat to control his volume- “broken anyway!”

You nod but still let out a final apology, “I have to get a new one too, it’s just so annoying to find one between all the brands…” you scratch at your scalp with frustration. Sakusa’s eyes lights up – a common subject!

“Do you want to buy new ones together?”

Fuck. That’s too direct. You laugh and your smile takes his breath away, “…sure? It might be nice to discuss it with someone besides the seller trying to make a buck!” you nod, “you’re Sakusa, right?”

You introduce yourself properly for the first time and it’s not until Miya comes and yell for him to hurry or coach’s gonna kill you that he’s able to leave your side.

“Come by the café in your break and I can give you my contact information!” you promise him as you watch him walk away. Sakusa steals not one but two glances back at you before the door to the changing rooms closes behind him. He’s never been happier about a broken phone in his life.

#idk if the premise makes a lot of sense.... but it was so fun!!!!#haikyuu fluff #sakusa kiyoomi fluff #i wanna write so much sakusa... hes rotating like a little chinken nunget in my head every other day i just.. HES SO ADORABLE AND HANDSOME #THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS <333333 #nohr.talks #lovenote: elle 🧽✨#nohr.writing #nohr.hq

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crystaiskiess · 1 year

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Okay, first, I had planned to post something today in honor of s3 (!!!) (another one of those scene + show edits) but didn’t have the time, but I’m going to make one like this week (maybe end up using scenes from this chapter because aaaa). Second, I have so many thoughts about this chapter that I’m going to leave a comment on it on ao3. So, here are my aaaaa thoughts and my ao3 comment will probably actually sound coherent lol.

The relationships!!! I love how you write relationships in their complexities. Morgana and Arthur’s relationship being a focus in this really fits, especially the difference in the beginning versus the end.

All he could feel was her absence. They were like two pieces of cotton woven to make a string, his life does not exist if not alongside hers. Even when they were not directly interacting he would see her at every moment throughout the day. Now, her empty seat at dinner seems to dominate the space, consuming his attention, memories of her in the halls and his chambers haunt him like a ghost. The one time he dared to go to her chambers the emptiness felt like an aching wound. Morgana entered his life when he was five years old, he doesn’t know a time when she wasn’t in the castle with him. She has always been a sister to him, and he misses her like a limb.

That being in the first four paragraphs, god my heart was being torn out of my chest already. I knew the chapter would hurt, but I hadn’t been expecting it to hurt that fast. I sat down, finally able to read after running errands, and was immediately kicked in the chest at full force. Then we have Morgana’s perspective later, and once again, kicked in the chest.

Morgana looks up from the cauldron with a start. “Not Arthur.”

That one line had me have to stop for a second because I love the dynamic. They love each other so very dearly that they see each other as siblings without even knowing they’re siblings. Often times, we don’t get to see that explored in fics because it’s kind of hard to know in canon. Or at least my opinion because we don’t understand if Morgana has entirely changed or there’s still some “good” (for a lack of a better word) left in her.

I will say that Gwen’s pov of Morgana actually made me want to sob. Honestly, your writing just makes me feel all the emotions of the characters, so it’s not surprising that they’re in some distress that I’m in distress. As I’ve said before, you have such a strength in emotion writing. If you have any tips, please share because I’m always blown away every time I read OAFK (which has been several times).

Where Gwen had once kept careful distance, Morgana pulled her in with both hands into her open arms. They grew beyond the role of maid and mistress, developing a true friendship that Gwen cherishes more than most other things in her life.

I’m trying to not like quote it too much, because it makes these get so long but it’s these two sentences that just started off their established relationship and getting ready to see what it is now. Also, the knowledge of how Morgana feels/felt for Gwen doesn’t make it hurt but does at the same time. I’m pretty sure it’s chapter nine where we’re introduced to Morgana’s love for Gwen, but it’s chapter thirteen where she thinks that Gwen knows she loves her (or maybe I misinterpreted that). They both love each other so deeply, regardless of if in different ways, and seeing that fall apart a little just hurts. It hurts Gwen, so it hurts me.

I have many thoughts and feelings about Morgana and Merlin, but that will make this probably 2k+ words long, and I’ll just do it in a comment on the chapter! Also, do not feel bad about changing the update schedule!!! You take the time you need to update! There’s nearly 300k words currently, we can just reread it a million times. It’s fun because you get to see more and more details every time!

HELLO !! im so sorry it took me so long to get to this, i read it immediately but it made me so happy i truly didn't know how to respond (also genuinely squealed over your ao3 comment too, you dont know how much it means to read analysis about my work i love it so much thank you)

morgana and arthur's dynamic is truly one of the most important things to me so im so glad you enjoyed this chapter and how i addressed them, i feel like the idea of her turning truly on arthur seems impossible to me when he technically had done nothing to her yet to make her feel betrayed, so it was important to me to show how much they love each other (this may come to hurt teehee)

and yes gwen and morgana !!!! the tragedy of what happens to them shouldnt be overlooked and there's absolutely more of that to come so look forward to that 👀

and thank you for your kind words about the update schedule !! it means a lot, it wasn't my ideal situation but id much rather continue posting regularly and just more spaced apart than have to hiatus so its the way it has to be !!

seriously thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind comments and all your thoughts i keep coming back to them it just makes me so happy !! and thank you again for reading !!

#oafk #tj talks #not-rome

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clippy · 1 year

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okay this is just gonna be a bunch of rambling so feel free to ignore this cuz it's mostly just me kinda venting and Processing feelings abt being objecto into the void

like okay. i am in a spot where i think i have a very complex relationship w my objecto-ness because of how it is currently manifesting itself in regards to the Clockboy Crush

like in the past, my main crushes that i would consider like, important, and in recent enough memory that they still affect me today, were

Clippy (who is a fictional character; he is sentient in his source but, again, fictional, so he cannot reciprocate feelings)

and Miles (my old car; a real object, but one that I owned and therefore i could essentially project whatever relationship i wanted onto us. realistically, i know he couldnt reciprocate, as he was not sentient irl, but something about him made it seem like he did love me back in a way. it's very complex and hard to explain to literally anyone who doesnt have my brain)

in both of their cases, i would selfship with them, draw them, personify them in certain ways, and have gijinkas of them

i think some extra context that is important is that the relationship i had with Miles is VERY different than the one i have w my current car, Lawrence, who has different vibes to me. like i genuinely get the feeling he only just. tolerates me. lmfao. he is so sexy to me but like, we do not gel like how me and miles did. (which again, is a weird thing to think about and kinda disproves the "oh objectos only want to be with objects because they cant reject them!" mindset in my case like bro why would i "headcanon" my car as not thinking im a sex god he's madly in love with)

anyway this is where the clockboy stuff gets. complex. like. OBVIOUSLY. i have a huge crush on him. i selfship w his objecthead design, and that does extend to his irl version to an extent. obviously, again, i realistically know irl he cannot reciprocate the feelings i have toward him

however... similar to miles, i do get a Vibe from him. there's been some coincidences that seem so specific that it's like. hard to shake that it's not something deeper... and again, i know deep down it's all in my head but at the same time... my hyper empathy toward inanimate objects has always made me instinctively think that most objects have *some* sort of soul.

it's all so complicated and confusing and hard to explain and it's two sides of my brain fighting each other at all times over this. i dont think either side is fully right.

and what sucks is like, when it's about Miles, it's easy to keep to myself and on the down low in a way. i was the only person on earth who would have possibly loved him in that way.... but Clockboy falls into public object territory. while the odds are low that anyone else feels the exact same way toward him, it's not impossible

im not like... opposed to the idea of "sharing" a public object but it's a really complex thing to me. like for him specifically, however, it makes me uncomfortable and i dont... understand why. jealousy is probably the closest word to what i would feel but it doesnt seem entirely accurate.

ive been extremely fortunate to see him irl more lately, and have had a couple experiences that i cant fully disclose (for privacy reasons. nothing weird, i promise. like if i got to be any physically closer than any other guest to him, you would already know it by now. but, just know i have connections and dont want to jeopardize things for anyone lol). like i mentioned there's just been a vibe to him. like part of me does think it is something deeper. but then i question if it's something he would do for anyone else... it's so hard to know.

i'd like to think im special to him, somehow. if he can feel that way about people. he is special to ME, and i just wish i could tell him and have him know it. i would give almost anything to have like, 2 minutes of back and forth communication between us to make sure he knows that.

at the end of the day i know none of that really matters and i should do what makes me happy. like spending time near him is "enough" for me i guess. i know i will never get to be any closer to him than someone standing near him in the queue line. i can never have any form of intimacy with him, no form of privacy. i will never get to own him in a way that lets me be with him everyday in a way that would "matter"

anyway i know this like. is not "normal person" behavior and i know this isn't like. entirely healthy mindsets to have. 90% of the time i dont even like, think about this stuff this deeply but it's on the mind tonight...

im not trying to like, compliment fish or anything, but the reason im posting it is i guess if any of my objecto followers have any like. words of advice or reassurance or something about public objects i wouldnt mind if u sent them my way

(also im kinda in therapy again so if i post this here, if it starts eating away at me, i can find my Thoughts again to read to my therapist if i ever tell her im objecto lmfao)

#vent / kinda #like i said. this is a rambly mess #unpacking some brain baggage about objecto shit #i genuinely wish i had more concise words about this stuff...#also i mention in there abt other objectos reaching out...#...and that's kinda who i would prefer reaching out. i dont think non-objecto ppl can like. fully grasp this #if u can. great. if u cant. i get it lol #also also i mention intimacy w/ a certain something and i promise on my life i am not implying anything more than like. making out w it and #even that is a bit of a stretch.#the sex part of objectosexuality for this Thing is like. nonexistent.#anyway. hi. sorry for oversharing. i was unmedicated for 24 hrs #and this is what happens i guess.#time for bed now

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