#so neither of them are doing anything about the misunderstandings and its driving her mad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

harlequinmoss · 3 years

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Hey, I noticed in your recent Panchito post that you described how he and José "have a race at the end to compete for Mimi’s hand in marriage, but after José wins it’s revealed that she went off and eloped with the stable boy. 😔 I actually wrote something about the aftermath of that so maybe I’ll post it here some time..." Please do! I'm curious, as I read that story as well...

Oh, I'm glad you're interested <|:•) I'll post it with this ask to save having to make a separate post lol its just a short little drabble, but I'm pretty happy with it. Whenever I write José and Panchito it's based off of their characters in the movie/silly symphonies comics that came out in the 40s, so I write under the assumption that they talk in English to each other since they both know it, but they'll still slip into their native language at times. Since Portuguese and Spanish are similar, they usually understand each other when that happens, but sometimes there's confusion. I'm not fluent in either language, so I just take from Google translate and I apologize if its a bit inaccurate 😅 Sorry for the long introduction but I felt like I needed to explain that since other stuff I write with the characters follows the same formula lol anyway here it is:

What had later become known as the Horse Race Debacle between José and Panchito was not the last time the pair would see each other. Far from it. Mimi had gone off and married the stableman which José unknowingly coached. Neither of them were best man. They met at a bar a couple of weeks later, both unaware that the other would be there.

"Panchito..?" José called, making his way over to the empty barstool next to the rooster.

"José? Fancy meeting you here…" Panchito shifted in his seat to face his previous rival and sipped at his drink. A spicy Bloody Mary. Non-alcoholic. He didn't usually drink to get intoxicated and only entered because he liked the saloon vibe of the place, it reminded him of home.

"Yeah uh, how have you been?" José asked, half meaning it. He knew he was going to use Panchito to pay for his drinks but also genuinely meant it. A part of him felt guilty for taking advantage of him. The guilt always went hand in hand with his schemes but he couldn't help it, had no other way to get by.

"Good! Señor Martinez and I are back in town for a race, and you?"

José sighed and shook his head before signaling the bartender to order another Caipirinha.

"Not too good. Rósinha is mad at me. And over a big misunderstanding too! But she won't talk with me, so I can't explain it to her…"

"Rósinha? You sure got over Mimi rather quick." It was no secret that Panchito had mixed feelings about José. They could get along well at one moment, but then he would say something like this that would make him mad. To be fighting to marry a girl one week and complaining about another the next was just scummy.

"Ah! It's not like that, I've known Rósinha a long time. We've been on and off in the past, but, well, we're mostly just friends now…" Normally José would never admit something like this, but the alcohol was making him vulnerable, and besides that, he felt like he could trust Panchito after what they had been through.

"I see...well what is the misunderstanding, maybe I can help, no?"

"I don't think so. We went out to dinner but the place she wanted to eat at would not seat me because I haven't paid off my tab yet."

"Oh," Panchito narrowed his eyes, suspicious. "You seem to have people cover your expenses a lot. I'm surprised you have such an issue…"

"Well...it's not that simple." He defended, swirling around the liquid in his glass before taking a drink.

"Explain it to me then." Panchito absentmindedly repeated José's action with his own drink, then crossed his arms.

José's heart sunk in his chest. He sighed and choked back something forming in the back of his throat. Then, resting his forehead in his hand, mumbled something before opening his mouth to speak.

"Eu odeio isso. Isso é tão embaraçoso."

"What?"

"Look, I have no money, alright? I'm not an entrepreneur, I'm not a famous horse trainer, I'm not..anything. I'm just a guy who's trying to make something of himself and doesn't know any other way to do it. I love this country but times are tough because of the war and it's hard enough to find honest work, let alone something that won't drive me louco. I live at the dump, Panchie...sometimes, sometimes it can get really hard to keep up with it all…" José paused to look up at his drinking buddy, worried he might get hit, or worse.

"Please..please don't challenge me to another duel for lying…"

Panchito's serious expression turned into a smile, then howling laughter. José looked up at him confused and panicked until Panchito calmed down enough to speak.

"A duel? No no no. Silly José, you should have told me from the beginning. Señor Martinez and me know what it's like to be on hard times. We could have taught you to ride. I must admit, the tying of the rope was pretty funny though, no?" Panchito laughed again and slapped his hand on his knee, wrapping his arm around José afterwards. With his other hand, he extended his glass out toward the parrot, preparing to make a toast.

"Do not worry, mi amigo, I will pay for your drinks here. But only one more. After that, we go talk to this Rósinha and I teach you to make some money like me and Señor Martinez, the honest way."

José smiled and hurriedly wiped away some tears he'd let escape from his eyes. He leaned into his friend's gentle touch and raised his own glass to meet Panchito's.

"Yeah...yeah, that sounds nice…"

#jose carioca #panchito #panchito pistoles #the three caballeros #duckverse

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nonstoplover · 4 years

Text

sand in my shoes ~ Joe Mazzello (song drabble)

my masterlist │ my song drabbles

song used as inspiration: dido ~ sand in my shoes

words: 4.2K

approximate reading time: about 20-25 mins

a/n: number five!! it has a couple of time jumps, small scenes instead of one huge, eventful one. this song is so amazing, i love dido (thanks mum), and i love Joe and i love writing about him. i hope you'll enjoy this as much as i did writing it!! feel free to request anything!

The strap of her bag slid down her shoulder just as the door behind her closed with a loud click. (y/n) glanced around, a weird feeling filling up her body. Her eyes moved around the furniture, trying to find out what it was that felt strange, but everything seemed to be just like when she left two weeks earlier.

Suddenly it clicked in her head. That was the weird thing. That it was the exact same.

After everything that happened, in the back of her mind she thought it would change her normal life as well, but it was as if her trip to Kauai never happened. As if it was only a dream.

She left her bag right at the door where it landed next to her suitcase and went straight to the sofa, sitting down and closing her eyes. She could still feel the salty scent of the ocean, the touch of the light breeze that moved across the beach, the perfume he used and his fingers moving on the skin of her arms.

As she layed her head back, she thought back to the events of the past fourteen days, letting her mind imagine that she was still there, not in her plain, stupid flat in Chicago. If she concentrated with all her might, (y/n) could even exclude the constant sound of cars under her window, something that she was usually a hundred percent used to and even found calming after a long day of work, but after such a holiday, it was nothing but annoying.

Tomorrow work starts again, she thought irritably, knowing that all she wanted was just get in her car and drive until she was in New York to find the guy she met on Kauai. She swiftly shook the thought away before it could totally ruin her mood and instead let these new memories fill her mind up again.

- - - - - - fourteen days earlier - - - - - -

(y/n) took a deep breath as her feet kicked away on the sand, already feeling calmer than she had felt in the past three years. It was the first time she got away from Chicago for a real holiday. Whenever she left the city, it was whether work stuff or visiting her family. She felt like it was well-deserved to finally spend two weeks on her own somewhere so far away from home.

The sound of waves crashing in the shore, the feeling of the grains of sand rolling around her naked feet, the wonderful view whichever way she looked at, the fact that she was alone on the beach as she mindlessly strolled around with her shoes in her hand, it was absolutely incredible, more than she ever thought it'd be.

(y/n) felt a smile make its way onto her face, something that rarely happened back in Chicago. At a particularly beautiful spot she stopped and sat down, enjoying the warmth that reached her skin even in the middle spring afternoon. She let out a contented sigh, leaning back on her hands behind her back, closing her eyes to enjoy the peacefulness.

Joe left his hotel room to find some peace and be alone for a while so when the first thing his eyes fell upon was another human being, he felt irritation fill up his chest. He wanted one thing and yet he couldn't have it. But he continued his way, determined to find a place he could fulfill his desire.

As he got closer, his eyes subconsciously travelled back at the person every other second and he started to notice the beauty radiating from her. He instantly felt drawn to her, as if he was attached to the woman with a thread someone was pulling to make him walk closer.

His mind was racing, trying to find a rational sentence to say other than 'I love you, marry me', but the situation got solved without the need of any as he tripped in his own feet at the last moment, only a few metres away from her.

Her eyes snapped open and her body jolted in surprise and he mentally cursed himself for being so clumsy. And I wanted to blow her mind away and ask her out, Joe thought, wanting nothing but to disappear from there.

"Sorry, I didn't wanna startle you," he offered her a small smile, hoping she wouldn't be mad at him.

"It's alright, I just thought no one else was on the beach," the woman smiled back at him.

"Yeah, me too, that's why I got out here in the first place," he chuckled before holding his hand out to her. "I'm Joe by the way."

"(y/n)."

As they shook hands, all he could ponder about was whether he only imagined the sparkle jolting through his palm and fingers or maybe, somehow, there was a chance that she felt it too?

She looked even more beautiful from this close, her (y/e/c) eyes shining in the orange-ish lights of the just starting sunset.

(y/n) felt a bit weird, this man had just came up to her without technically anything to say and now he just stared at her without another word. Should she be worried? But she stayed still, unable to move any muscle in her body as she silently examined him.

He was attractive and charming in a way she had never seen in a man before and suddenly all she wanted was spending more time with him, hearing more of his voice and that precious chuckle she had heard only a little snippet of a few minutes earlier.

"It's getting a bit creepy," she let out a giggle after a couple more seconds had passed, glancing down at their hands still holding each other, or more precisely, his hand holding hers.

Joe immediately let go of her and an embarrassed laugh escaped his lips as he turned his gaze away, hoping to somehow hide the blush that had obviously appeared on his face. Though if he didn't move his eyes, he would've seen the glint in (y/n)'s orbs, who found the way his cheeks turned pink adorable.

"It seems like we're about the only ones here," (y/n) spoke up to try and start a conversation.

"Oh yeah, even in my hotel it seemed like no other guests were there."

"Funny, I always thought this place is crowded all the time."

"Mind if I sit down?" Joe questioned as standing next to her sitting form, just looking down seemed more and more odd as the seconds passed. The girl just patted the sand next to her, smiling up at him, her eyes squinting a bit from the bright sky that framed his face.

They following couple hours flew by as if they were only moments, the conversation flowing unstoppably. They had so much in common that (y/n) couldn't help but wonder in the beginning if the man only pretended to be so similar to her. But his eyes shined with honesty, clear and bright, letting her know that it's just a strange but pleasant accident.

As if fate pushed the two of them close. But if it truly was fate, why did it wait for so long?

(y/n) waited for the right guy all her life, eventually giving up on ever finding him, but now as she was sitting in the sand with Joe, she felt that maybe it was him she was waiting for. Even if they only knew each other for a few hours, they connected as if they were two puzzle pieces.

"Do you maybe wanna get dinner together?" Joe asked out of nowhere and (y/n) felt like fainting, she spent the previous thirty minutes trying to find a reason to ask him the same thing and now she didn't even had to speak these words afraid of being rejected or worse, finding out that he had someone to get dinner with.

The man started to feel more and more worried, misunderstanding her silence and he was just about to take it all back when she finally opened her lips and said yes. The absolute happiness Joe felt was something he had never felt since being a kid.

He stood up and being the gentleman he always had been offered his hand for her to help her up, not letting go even when they started making their way back to civilisation. After a quick glance at the woman, seeing the pink hue of her cheeks, the way her eyes shined and the smile playing on her lips, he knew she was alright with it and from then on he didn't even try to hide how much he enjoyed it.

They found a small and lovely restaurant and ordered some food, their chat still never stopping. They talked about their jobs, their childhood, their dreams and desires.

"What?" (y/n) giggled after raising her glance back up at the man from her just arrived food and saw him stare at her with a weird expression.

He shook his head, his lips curving into an imbecile grin. "Oh don't mind me, just enjoying the view."

(y/n) felt the blood rush to her cheeks from the bold compliment. "Not much to enjoy," she mumbled to the plate in front of her.

"Oh, please," Joe frowned at her with stern eyes. "I have to disagree."

The girl just shook her head, not wanting to get in a debate about such a subject. And of course, it felt amazing to know that the man thought about her this way. Oh, if she was brave enough to tell him how the exact same thing entered her mind whenever she looked at him...

Long story short, their conversation continued, though with more silent spaces when they got back to enjoying their food. (y/n) hadn't felt this great in a pretty long time, it was such a pleasant dinner that she wished she could experience more frequently. She had wonderful company, a funny, smart and caring man, which in her experience was a rare combination.

At the end of the dinner Joe insisted on paying for her meal as well, no matter how hard she tried to reason him out of it.

"I don't really feel like going back to my hotel room this early," Joe spoke up, an unambiguous yet still unspoken suggestion hiding in his words.

"Me neither."

"Would you like to go back to the beach for a little walk?"

(y/n) smiled so brightly at the man that he needed no spoken answer to know what she's thinking. They set off with a slow and fine pace, walking close to each other but still not touching. Comfortable silence filled the air as they let the sound the peaceful waves of the ocean made fill their hearts and souls.

It didn't take long for Joe to position himself closer to the young woman, closer and closer with every step they took until his fingers ever so lightly brushed hers. He waited for a few moments, giving her enough time to turn down his approach. But her fingers didn't move further, and Joe could almost swear that a moment later he felt them press into his for a second.

He decided to take it as a sign and finally moved his hand so their fingers could freely intertwine. The soft skin of her fingertips felt incredible against his much more dehydrated and rough hand. It was almost equal to a luscious caress in his mind whilst from (y/n)'s point of view it was the raggedness tickling her fingers that sent shivers down her spine.

Under the moonlight everything seemed like they were in a real life fairytale or some romantic, cliché movie. The silver lunar light reflected in the deep blue water and gave the wet sand a magical glimmering. It was a heartwarming sight itself but with such company it seemed even more enchanting.

All of a sudden Joe came to a halt, and the light jolt in (y/n)'s hand made her stop as well, looking up at the man questioningly. He was already staring at her, but only the shining of his brown orbs could cross the darkness. The girl opened her mouth to ask him what it was that made him stop but he broke the silence before any word could have left her throat.

"Can I kiss you?"

The abrupt boldness completely took her aback. It was what she was hoping for since the beginning of their acquaintance and now it finally seemed to come true.

"Yes," she replied, her voice unintentionally raspy with anticipation.

Joe's heart fluttered in his chest and he started slowly leaning in. The girl could feel the impatience in her whole body and she hastened the situation with moving her head up towards his face.

Their lips met in the middle, nestling against each other delicately and softly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Three days later (y/n) raised her arms to rub her eyes sleepily right after waking up. The sharp light made it hard for her to fully open them, she needed some time to get accustomed to it.

When she could finally do so, the first thing her glance met was the man grinning at her from the other side of the bed.

"Good morning," she greeted him, a wide smile making its way to her face.

"Hey," Joe replied before leaning in and pressing a lazy and lingering kiss on her lips.

A few seconds later the girl leant back, the happiness not leaving her cheeks and eyes for a single moment as she sat up, swinging her legs down the edge of the bed to stand up.

"You said my name in your sleep," the man's hoarse morning voice followed her as she slipped her feet inside the hotel slippers. She froze mid-movement, cheeks already burning up in slight embarrassment.

Would he think she was weird or creepy? Was he less serious about this than she was?

"It was adorable," Joe continued and (y/n) let out the breath she didn't even notice holding in.

He crawled closer on the bed and his hand touched her shoulder a moment later, caressing it all the way down to her wrist before grabbing it and bringing it back to his lips to press a loving kiss inside her palm.

(y/n) grinned down at the man before finally standing up to walk into the bathroom to do her morning routine.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You're so cute when you pout like that," Joe chuckled, his hand holding the ice cream up in the air where (y/n) couldn't reach it.

"You won't find me so cute if you don't give it to me in the next few seconds," the girl retorted within a second.

Joe laughed even more at the threat, but eventually lowered his arm so she could get to the oh so waited treat. (y/n) happily eyed it before leaning it and licking a stripe along the frozen dessert. He couldn't resist the urge and slightly pushed his hand up, successfully smearing the ice cream on her face.

"Hey!" She exclaimed. "Don't waste it!"

"I'm not," he replied before moving closer and kissing the already melting yet somehow still cold cream off her skin, eventually arriving to her lips. They shared a playful and passionate kiss before continuing their stroll.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The two of them moved around the hotel furniture clumsily, refusing to pull away, instead accepting bumping into every second thing in their way as they tried to reach the bed.

(y/n) felt her feet tripping in what probably was one of the legs of the chair they just passed by, and she almost broke the contact falling back before his strong arms tightened on her waist, probably sensing the upcoming fall, and he held her impossibly close until she could feel the ground securely under her feet again.

During the past week both of them kinda memorised the route in Joe's hotel room from the door to the bed, it was an unspoken decision that they used this room instead of hers, it became a kind of habit in the first few days.

No words were spoken since they shared their first heated kiss of the night and it stayed like that until they were already laying on the bed, Joe pressing small, sloppy kisses on her neck and collarbone before opening his mouth to an almost too quiet to be heard whisper, luckily with his lips right next to the girl's ears so she could actually manage to understand his words. "I'm in love with your body."

(y/n)'s eyes kindled in a new light, a different warmth spreading across her chest as she moved her head to be able to stare the man in the eyes, those beautiful shiny, chocolate brown coloured orbs.

I never want this to end, she thought but said nothing, afraid that Joe didn't feel that way and that it might ruin it all. Whatever this is, it's the best thing in my life.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I don't want to leave."

(y/n) knew how pathetic she sounded as her teary eyes stared at the ground next to their feet and her shaking voice broke the awkward silence.

Neither of them could find the right words to speak, words that could help causing less damage, words that could make this departure easier. They stood inside the airport, the girl's suitcase between them as they tried to figure out what to do or what to say before she eventually had to step through the gate and leave this island to go back to her average, boring life.

"I know," Joe replied quietly. "I don't want you to go just as much."

The distant sound of a woman's voice coming from a speaker somewhere above them reached their ears, announcing that it was time for her to actually move her legs away from the man.

"So this is the end," she announced and he nodded hesitantly, his eyes fluttering to the side and back to her face.

"Are you sure we can't keep in touch?" He asked. "Maybe we could meet someday."

"I can't make any promises," (y/n) shook her head, flashbacks of her strict and insensitive boss and her constant working coming to her head.

She couldn't afford such an emotional instability this something between them would be. They had different lives, different jobs, living in two cities so far from each other.

He had movies to shoot, Hollywood waiting for him. He travelled between LA, New York, or the other cities he had his movies made, and (y/n) knew that Chicago wasn't high up on that list. Was there any point in chatting, FaceTiming or writing letters, whatever, if they could never meet?

He'd eventually meet another woman, it's inevitable, and it'd be only worse, breaking her heart even more than if they didn't keep in touch in the first place. She told him this already a couple times, and even though he seemed like understanding it and agreeing, he always brought this question back up, making her feel like a heartless monster for not giving them a chance.

Joe sighed, knowing she was right but still not wanting to accept it. He liked her too much to just let her go like this, but she gave no chance for him. He tightened his grip on her hand one last time, wanting to let her know of everything he was feeling.

"If you keep squeezing that hard, you'll break my hand," (y/n) tried to lighten the mood, a weak chuckle escaping her lips. She managed to get his lips curve into a small smile, not the wide, happiness-radiating one that could make her heartbeat fasten any time, but still closer to it than the serious expression that was on his face since they woke up.

Another announcement came, and (y/n) started to pull away, her free hand grabbing the handle of her suitcase.

"Can I kiss you?" Joe couldn't keep it in and let the words leave his lips, the same words he had spoken only fourteen days earlier.

(y/n) let out a small gasp before nodding, letting the man step closer again, closer and closer until the front of their bodies finally touched and he dived in for a sweet, lingering kiss.

"I hope you'll never forget me and our little holiday," he whispered against her lips.

He pulled away and after a small wave of his hand he turned around and walked out of the airport building.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(y/n) opened her eyes to dim street lights entering her living room. For a moment she just let her eyes roam around her surroundings, taking in the modern but somehow boring greyness of her apartment.

The cold temperature hit her skin, sending a shiver down her spine and she just now realised that she was still wearing the thin shirt she put on that morning back on Kauai, something that proved not to be enough against the cool Chicago weather.

With a sigh leaving her lips she stood up and walked to the bathroom to take a quick shower and brush her teeth before she eventually entered her bedroom and fell on her bed to sleep through the night.

Waking up felt miserable. The sleep she got was anything but relaxing. Her dreams were filled with Joe and the events of the past two weeks, making her heartbeat fasten as she was tossing and turning in her bed.

Sleepily she strolled to the kitchen, making herself a cup of coffee and drinking it standing at the exact same spot, staring at the wall mindlessly. When the mug was empty, she placed it in the dishwasher and went back to her room, pulling out the first shirt and elegant pair of pants her fingers touched.

She got dressed and left her apartment still not paying attention to anything around her. Silence filled her mind, no serious thoughts appearing inside as the hours passed by. She survived the day and got back home, eyes falling on the suitcase and backpack standing at the exact same spot she left them the day before when she arrived.

"You gotta do it sometime," (y/n) muttered to herself. "Let's just get it over with now."

With a few groans escaping her she pushed and kicked the bags waiting to be unpacked into her room, and after unzipping the suitcase, she turned it to the side so the clothes inside could fall out to the floor.

She knelt down next to them, and started piling them in two heaps, colourful and white, so she could do the washing easier and faster when she'd find the energy to do so. As she was moodily throwing the pieces of clothing, a piece of paper fell out and slowly floated to the ground a few metres away from her.

Her eyes narrowed and a frown creased her forehead as she stared at it deep in thought. What the hell was that? She clearly remembered not putting any paper in between her clothes. After another moment of pondering she got on her knees and crawled towards the note, picking it up and smoothing it out before sitting back down and letting her eyes move over the words scribbled on it.

"I know that you don't want to keep in touch and/or meet again, but these past two weeks were one of the bests in my entire life and I would really love to see you again. So if there's any chance you'll change your mind sometime, here's my number and address. Yours, Joe"

(y/n) felt a breath hitch in her throat, tears filling her eyes as her finger caressed his name on the paper. Suddenly the things she told him seemed ridiculous, why didn't she give them a chance? Maybe they could make it work out.

Right now, sitting on the floor of her plain, dull room, saying goodbye for good seemed like a terrible idea. And she did it still. Oh, how could she be so stupid?

She swiftly got up, eyes frantically moving around to find her phone as soon as possible. When she caught sight of it, she almost threw herself at it with the newly found determination, flying across the room.

With shaking fingers she unlocked the device and opened her messaging app, carefully but still nervously typing the numbers Joe wrote on the note before texting him the first thing that came to her mind.

Hey, I was thinking a lot and you were right. We should try to keep this going. I had the time of my life with you. Xx

She stood there in nerve-wracking silence for what felt like eternity, though in less than ten minutes her phone beeped, signaling a new message and she let out the breath she was holding in, eyes skimming over his words.

And for the first time in the past 48 hours she felt an honest, real smile form on her face, splitting it in two in happiness.

.::the end::.

my masterlist

#joe mazzello #song drabble #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello fanfiction #joe mazzello x reader #fanfic #x reader #masterlist #nonstoplover #imagine #fanfiction #jurassic park #john deacon #bohemian rhapsody #undrafted #sand in my shoes #dido #dear sidewalk #the pacific

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ladymdc · 5 years

Text

The Seventh Circle

I don’t usually do a lot of fic promoting, however, since this is a joint endeavor with my amazing fren @dismalzelenka, I’m going to do it 🙃

Pairing: Nathaniel Howe x Reyna Cousland AND Anders x Adrestia Tabris Rating: Explicit (will have canon-typical violence & probably smut) Word Count (at the moment): ~2,900 Chapters: 1/? Summary: Run if you can. Madness has filled the silence. Do not return to this place.

[A modern w/magic AU where the Wardens & darkspawn are a myth, a bedtime story parents tell their children. However, an incident in the Western Approach sends Reyna Cousland and Adrestia Tabris on a search to uncover a truth lost to time and secrecy before it's too late to stop events from spiraling further out of control. Reyna belongs to MC & Adrestia belongs to Diz.]

We’ll be tossing updates up on Ao3 (here) whenever the muse strikes us. CH.1 is under the cut for funsies.

Solace 20:19

Reyna Cousland placed her sunglasses in the center console and got out of the vehicle. The estate was lovely in summer, lush and beautiful. She couldn’t deny it, but the beauty felt bitter and false as she took it in.

She opened the back door to let Acheron out then wordlessly led him up the flagstone path to the manor. At the dark walnut doors on the veranda, she paused. She just needed a moment to brace herself. To prepare for what she was about to face.

Inside, the foyer was well lit and immaculate. A circular table sat in the middle of the open area. On it, there was a large bouquet of dark blue flowers interspersed with olive branches—a play on the colors of their house.

Pride.

It was a double-edged weapon, just as able to drive one to succeed as to destroy them.

When she looked up, she found her father standing in the doorway to the breakfast nook. His eyes were a stormy grey. Calm, yet powerful; precisely contained—never show weakness or fear.

Conquered By None.

“Reyna,” he said, absently scratching Acheron’s ear. “Take a walk with me.”

Reyna nodded stiffly and followed after her father. He led her outside then along one of the lanes lined with trees heavy with plums ripe for picking. Her father didn’t make any effort to converse until they were well away from the manor.

“I don’t want you to transfer,” he abruptly declared.

She had already decided to walk pride’s razor edge and told her father as such. “It has already been approved. I leave in two weeks.”

Her father came to a halt as his expression grew bitterly resigned as if preparing himself to be stuck on some quarter.

“I had it on good authority that General Howe—” her lip curled up with disdain of its own volition, “—was going to send me there to add insult to injury. This way, I control the narrative.”

There was a long silence. Her father stared down the lane, his eyes far away.

“What happened should not affect your career,” he said eventually, turning to look down at her. “It had nothing to do with you.”

The betrayal had been so exacting and deeply personal that she could barely bring herself to think about it.

“It has everything to do with me,” Reyna told him. “I am a Cousland.”

“True.” A slow smile curved his lips. Then it vanished, and he glanced away.

But Reyna saw it, the sudden lines of tension around his eyes.

“So, the narrative; what do you need me to do to help offset—” he flicked his hand dismissively at his side, “—everything?”

Reyna blinked. “I don’t need you to do anything,” she said in a tight voice. “Did you really think I was going to distance myself from you? A Cousland always does their duty. You taught me that. You did your duty, and now, it’s my turn.”

Her father nodded thoughtfully. The sunlight catching his hair, silvered with age.

“You know, just when I think I couldn’t be more proud of you, you prove me wrong.”

Her throat tightened so much it was hard to swallow. She managed to tip her chin down in acknowledgment.

When she was a little girl, Reyna had thought he was cold. However, as she matured, she realized he wasn’t unfeeling. Her father felt things; he just did so privately.

In that regard, they were alike; driven by emotions, but never allowed them to dictate. The head always won out over the heart. At least, until General Bryce Cousland was court-martialed for insubordination and suspended without pay for five years.

Then everything changed.

While she composed herself, her father made a convincing job of admiring the blooming hydrangeas. Reyna knew he was proud of her. She never questioned that. But being reminded of it as she tried to be his steady rock in a sea of shifting alliances was overwhelming.

“Come,” he said, briefly placing his hand between her shoulder blades when she stepped up next to him a moment later. “Let’s finish our stroll through the gardens before your mother decides to hunt us down.”

“Did she also assume I was going to cast you aside like some black stain on my career that I couldn’t wait to expunge?” she asked dryly as they began walking down the return lane.

The corner of his mouth twitched faintly. “She didn’t. I believe she just wanted the satisfaction of being present when I was proved wrong. Thank you for allowing myself to be spared further embarrassment.”

Reyna smiled then. Truly smiled for what felt like the first time in months.

Her father chuckled. “In my defense, neither of us have handled this exceptionally well, and I’m unaccustomed to you being—angry.”

Through it all, her father had appeared unaffected. If Reyna had been less angry herself, she might have believed it, but their personalities were basically the same. Which, oddly enough, left her uncertain how to address the strain that had asserted itself between them. But there was an instant comfort she found in learning that it was all misplaced, that he had simply felt as lost as her.

“Likewise,” she said. “I wasn’t sure how this conversation was going to go when you asked me to come home to discuss it.”

He shrugged. “I didn’t mean to alarm you. It’s just easier to discern what is going on in your head when we speak face to face. And we’ve avoided the general topic long enough.”

“I agree. I shouldn’t have tried to talk about it over the phone. I just didn’t want you to hear about my transfer from anyone else and misunderstand. Obviously, that backfired.”

“That is on me, not you,” he said as they began to ascend the large stone steps up to the patio.

Reyna’s mother was setting the small table in the breakfast nook when they stepped inside. Her parents stared at one another for a moment, then her mother arched a single blonde eyebrow.

“It is as you said, Eleanor,” he allowed drolly.

A slow cat-like smile graced her mother’s lips. “Welcome home, Reyna,” she said, stepping forward to give her daughter a quick hug. “Lunch is almost ready, I’m just finishing up the chicken.”

“Do you need any help?”

“Not at all. It’ll take me ten minutes, tops.”

Her father nodded. “Alright, then I’ll be right back,” he said. Then he turned and walked out of the room. Her mother’s blue eyes glittered knowingly before exiting through the adjacent door leading to the kitchen.

Reyna shrugged inwardly before taking a seat. At her elbow, she found today’s newspaper. Something twisted inside her as she read the headline on the front page.

CONTROVERSIAL DRILLING RIG IN ABYSSAL RIFT TO BEGIN OPERATIONS IN EARLY AUGUST

‘Rift Platform 52’, or ‘P-52’, is expected to launch operations on Saturday, August 6th, according to a press release by Antonius Faber, CEO of OFT Enterprises.

This venture is made possible thanks to Orzammar based Paragon Branka Kondrat’s revolutionary structural engineering research. This state of the art drilling facility, the most advanced of its kind to date, is affixed to the cliff-side of the Abyssal Rift using massive caissons and a carefully threaded steel cable suspension system. It is roughly the size of a 15-story building and will deploy three separate drilling units to depths of up to 5,000 meters. P-52 is expected to reach oil reserves that have remained untapped for centuries due to the unstable landscape of the Western Approach and widespread environmental toxicity located within the Rift itself.

While few would question the wealth of resources finally available, Ferelden concerns on the matter initially went largely unheard until King Cailan Theirin and Empress Celene Valmont established the Great Orlais-Ferelden Oil Alliance earlier this year.

In exchange—

Reyna heard footsteps and looked up as her father reentered the room.

His eyes flicked from hers down to the newspaper. He stared at it for several seconds, then sighed.

“For once, I’m not mentioned.”

Reyna nodded, keeping her expression carefully closed as she quietly seethed.

On the surface, increasing oil imports from Orlais at a lesser cost in exchange for military support in the hazardous environment seemed to make good sense. However, production sharing agreements were horrendously advantageous to the host country. The host country did not need to make a significant amount of investment for exploration or production activities because the oil company carried all operational and financial costs and risks. Then, if that weren’t enough, the host country gleaned knowledge, technological advances, and expertise through the agreement.

In summation, the host country— Orlais —would reap endless benefits and profits from this groundbreaking endeavor.

Ferelden would be guaranteed access to cheap oil, and nothing more. This was a fact her father had bluntly relayed to some reporters at the persuasion of his lifelong friend, Rendon Howe, who then used the souring tide of public opinion in the matter to motivate King Cailan to call for his court-martial. It succeeded.

Predictably, Rendon was promoted to take his place.

Reyna rolled her jaw and forced herself to set aside her sudden rage.

“It’s fine, Reyna; I shall live on,” he said, crossing the room.

“We shall live on,” she corrected.

“Precisely.”

There was a pregnant pause.

“I have something for you,” he said, then reached into his pocket and withdrew two metal, half-inch bands inlaid with runes.

She looked up at her father in astonishment.

He smirked, then held out his empty hand to her. “As you said, it’s your turn.”

“I can’t accept that.”

“It was always going to be yours someday,” he said, then beckoned with his fingers to encourage her along.

At that, Reyna swallowed down the rest of her objections and let him help her to stand; Acheron perked up from where he was doing a rather good job at blending in with the wood flooring.

“Part of why I asked you here today was to tell you that I’m resigning from the service,” he told her, slipping the bands onto her left arm.

“When did you make that decision?”

“When the verdict was handed down. I was just waiting for the news cycle to die down. None of this was supposed to be about me.” He began to precisely situate one on her forearm just a couple inches from her elbow; the other was dangling from her wrist like an oversized bracelet.

“It was about Ferelden, and I did right by her,” he said. “That is all that matters.”

Reyna slowly nodded. She understood the implications behind the decision. Going along with it all would be as good as admitting wrongdoing.

Once in position, the bands resized themselves to her perfectly where they would remain unless she went in to have them reset and removed. Reyna could tell there were enchantments woven into the silverite to prevent her arm from chafing and to keep it the ideal temperature.

“Can you feel it?”

Now that he mentioned it, Reyna could recognize a presence pressing against the outside of her forearm. “I can tell I’m connected to it, but I can’t tell how to make it do anything.”

“It takes some getting used to. You’ll just have to practice.” He took two steps back. “Curl your fingers in one at a time, starting with your pinky, and you’ll be able to separate it out better.”

Reyna took a deep, even breath and did as instructed. As her thumb curled inward, she felt it.

The semi-translucent, iridescent blue field flickered to life for a half-second, then vanished.

Her father smiled proudly, and Reyna could feel the pressure in her cheeks and eyes as she struggled not to cry over it.

She knew what it looked like in its full corporeal form. A modernized replica of the shields their ancestors used to carry back in the Dragon Age. It had been a gift from the late King Maric Theirin when her father was knighted for exceptional services to the Crown. In that alone, it was priceless, and yet astronomical amounts of time and effort and magic went into making the one of a kind device.

She parted her lips to speak—

“Don’t thank me, and I won’t…” he trailed off and waved a hand.

Reyna exhaled; part relief, part amusement. “Deal.”

“Good,” he said, shoulders dropping as if he had also found the entire conversation emotionally draining. But then her father put his arm around her and pulled her in for a quick, slightly awkward half-embrace.

As if awaiting this cue, her mother breezed back into the room to begin serving lunch: garlic bread and caprese chicken avocado salad with a balsamic reduction. Reyna’s mouth quirked at the corner when Acheron dug in. It always did. Without fail, he happily ate anything her mother put in front of him.

Later, Reyna would sit in her West Hill apartment and think back on the meal. In that moment, they had all but forgotten what had happened. The only deviation from the thousands of other meals they’ve shared in that room was the bands were affixed to her arm instead of her father’s. Where they should be.

Reyna idly traced the runes wrapped around her wrist.

All this time, she had been supportive but distant, trying to separate out her own personal turmoil over the matter so her father wouldn’t carry that too. He had done so anyway. Penance perhaps for negatively affecting her career, one he knew she didn’t even want even though Reyna had never admitted it.

At least, they managed to set things right. It was far past time, but neither of them were much good at talking about how they felt.

“I think we should stay at the manor until we leave,” she said suddenly.

Acheron barked, stump waggling, and Reyna reached for her phone.

It was a strange feeling, to move back into her childhood home. A home she loved and would someday inherit to become Lady of the Manor. A fact that made her painfully aware while she was an heir, she was not a true heir. No matter what she did, the Cousland name would die with her.

Reyna tried not to think about it.

Instead, she read, ran with Acheron, and cooked with her mother. She practiced activating the shield, which was like strengthening a part of her she hadn’t known existed and had muscle atrophy as a result. Reyna and her father even discussed potential ways she could excel in her new post, to climb rank despite the looming expectation that she stall out or quit.

When Reyna left, it was as if she’d be back the next day. Goodbyes were another thing they weren’t very good at.

The flight was uneventful, as was settling into her new place in Valemont. A two-bedroom, 1.5 bath duplex with exactly one parking space designated as hers behind the home, which was all she needed.

There were some incredulous looks when 2ndLt. Cousland provided her identification at the gates of Griffon Wing Army Base the following Monday, but Reyna ignored it. Then she parked her new jeep and slung her bag onto her shoulder before dropping Acheron off for training on the local wildlife. And now, she made her way deeper into the facility in search of her office.

As she rounded a corner on the third floor, she allowed herself a quick glance around, taking in the layout. Reyna stiffened when she saw him. Seeing her certainly hadn’t seemed to surprise or upset him.

He’d been waiting for it.

Howe simply leaned back on his heels and studied her, his eyes bright as they swept over her in a rapid catalog, lingering a moment on the band visible around her left wrist. Nothing about him had changed since she’d last seen him, and yet she could feel the weight of everything that had in the air between them.

He hadn’t tried to contact her.

Not once.

Whatever they’d been had never been defined. Not friends, but something that had mattered enough for Reyna to feel a growing well of hurt as she blankly met his stare. Not that it mattered.

None of it had ever mattered.

Eventually, Howe looked down, and his lips thinned. Then his posture shifted slightly. There was something he was trying to communicate to her, and her grey eyes flicked over to the plaque on the door he stood nearest to.

316 2ndLt. Nathaniel Howe

Her mouth twisted derisively. Of course, their offices would be across the hall from one another. She should have expected it.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Howe twitch, and his expression harden.

Reyna turned on her heel and entered her office.

She set her bag down and went to the window. The Western Approach was a sea of unstable, shifting sands, rocky ridges, and strong, howling winds. On the horizon, P-52 sat in the middle of a steel web. Without a doubt, this office was also chosen to remind her how she got here.

She should be enraged, but she couldn’t summon it. She hadn’t realized how powerless she was to fight her circumstances until that moment.

People did not believe in facts. Order and truth could be tarnished.

She didn’t know how to rise above it, but she would still try.

She sank into the chair at her desk and went to work.

22 notes · View notes

swellwriting · 6 years

Text

Scars and Secrets

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, mentions of sex but no smut just a soft lil snogging sesh, oh and some bad words like fuck and dickhead :) that is all

Request: Not a request

Word Count: 3.6k

A/N: It’s a weird plot but like, soft nervous Remus makes up for it. Also this bitch is long as fuck oops.

Sirius was being abnormally annoying, droning on and on and Remus and James had had enough they distracted Sirius telling him to look at something down the hall and Remus whispered the password puling James into the Prefect bathroom with him. They laughed as the door shut and they swear they heard Sirius yell. ”Guys?” In a confused manor.

They expected the bathroom to be empty, it was just after classes had ended, what they didn’t expect was to see you fresh out of the shower in just a large towel. Remus felt his cheeks heat up, his laughing coming to a halt.

“Y/N.” James said awkwardly as you sat at the edge of the tube rubbing lotion into your freshly washed skin, one leg lifted but you were turned to the side so you weren’t flashing the boys.

“Hi. You guys can use the bathroom if you need, you don’t have to just stand there.”

“Oh no, we were just hiding from Sirius. To bug him, he can’t get in here.” James rambled.

“Mhm, and you can Potter?” You questioned knowing Remus was a prefect but James wasn’t.

“Well I have been in here before, I’m on the Quidditch team.” You teasingly raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m well aware you are on the team but this bathroom is for captains only and prefects and sadly you are neither. But then again it’s not unlike the two of you to break the rules.”

“Oi mates? Are you in this bloody bathroom?” Sirius yelled from the other side of the door.

“Oh I should go with Sirius.” Remus said looking for a way out but when he opened the door Sirius barged in about to say something to his friends but stopping when he saw you.

You stood up and turned away from them grabbing a piece of clothing to put on.

“Oh we can go if your changing.” James stammered out and Remus just stood there silent wondering if he should look away, just the sight of your bare shoulders driving him mad.

“No its okay, I’ve mastered the art of getting dressed in a towel, not even the girls on the Quidditch team have seen me naked.”

“No one’s seen you naked? Like ever?” Sirius gawked.

“Well, no. I know it’s hard to believe with the stupid rumors, I know you probably have heard and believe them.”

Rumors had been going around the school that you were sleeping with Lucius for money, which was not true at all. Remus was growing more and more uncomfortable and Sirius took note.

“Ah rumors suck, James here knows all about rumors there’s been one for ages about him being in love with Lily! Ridiculous I know, anyway’s I should go.” He said pulling Remus out of the room leaving you there with just James.

“Honestly I did at first, Remus never believed it though, not for a second.” James said after a moment of silence. You were now fully dressed and you dropped your towel making James blink a few times, you were good at that.

You blushed at the thought of Remus not even believing the rumors about you for a second.

“As a matter of fact he pointed out all the plot holes to every Gryffindor in the common room.”

“He is sweet.”

“Anyways any reason why Lucius has it out for you.”

You gulped, this was the first time any one had asked your side of the story, your sadness so pent up you just had to let the truth out.

“Over the summer I dated this boy, I didn’t know he was friends with Lucius. He uh, well he was a shitty boyfriend so I ended things with him and Lucius has it out for me now, he goes to Ilvermorny though so at least I don’t have to deal with him. Just fucking Malfoy and his big mouth.” You paused hanging your towel up to dry and then continued sitting back down on a dry edge.

“Funny how you try so hard to hide yourself from everyone and rumors like this can even be spread, I haven’t even been seen in my bathing suit, how do people believe I’m this… this whore.”

“People like rumors. Speaking of, why haven’t you been swimming yet this year, Rem- I mean we miss you, you’re fun to have around.”

“I uh, I’m kind of insecure, this year more than others.” You frowned as your tears filled your eyes but didn’t dare spill.

“Why this year, I mean I’m not trying to speak out of my place but you look fine.” He gestured to your body.

“It’s not that I just, fuck if everyone knew the truth no one would believe a word out of Malfoys vile mouth.”

“Well tell me, maybe I can help.” He sat down beside you.

“My ex, was super nice for like the first week, but after that he got angry at me, he would yell at me and blame me for everything and by the third week he started taking it out on me, he would hit me and push me into things, I have scars all along my back from being pushed into furniture and broken glass. I just can’t bring myself to let people see them, they are so ugly.”

He was lost for words and could only try to joke.

“Remus has scars...” his voice trailed of thinking about his friend who was head over heels in love with you.

“That’s different, they look good on him. I like the one that goes across his nose, it’s cute.” You said the last part more quietly but James heard it and remembered every word to tell Remus.

“I’m sure the ones on your back are fine, but we could use them to our advantage.”

“Yeah how would we do that.”

“Well Lucius clearly doesn’t know what you look like naked , no one does, but he’s been bragging for days about your body and stuff so if I question him in front of everybody and he chokes not being able to answer my question about you having scars then everybody will see him falter and not believe him. And you don’t even have to be there or anything.” James blurted out.

“I don’t want people to know I have scars.” You trailed off.

“But it’s the only way I can think of to make people believe you. Unless you want us to just prank him, that’s more our specialty.

“I know.” You laughed lightly but tried to explain yourself further. “It’s just, nobody has ever shown any interest in me before and nobody will now after the rumors or the knowledge of my scars I just-” James cut you off.

“No I know how you feel; you think Remus likes his scars? I have to have talks like this with him all the time, he thinks himself unlovable because of them.” James admitted telling you secrets about Remus to try to make you feel better, without telling you too much.

You laughed. “That’s ridiculous, Remus is smart and sweet and cute.”

“And people will think that about you too don’t worry, it will be fine.” James assured you and you just nodded your head.

“Okay Potter, I’m trusting you with this.” You said sighing in defeat but hoping for the best.

“Okay, well how many are there?” James asked referring to your scars.

“What?” You said loudly standing up. “I don’t want to show you them.”

“You don’t know how many there are?” He asked trying not to push you too far.

“No, I can’t see my own back potter.” You defended.

“Okay okay, if I can’t see them will you let Remus? He is the least judgmental person when it comes to that kind of thing.” He asked but you just stayed silent a blush adorning your cheeks.

You didn’t speak for a minute and then James caught on a bit.

“You fancy him don’t you?” He asked you softly and sweetly.

You looked up to meet his eyes and smiled weakly. “Maybe a bit. And I don’t want to ruin my chances with him by having him see the part of my body I hate most.”

“Your back is your most hated part.” He said quietly, usually people would hate facial features or stomachs or such.

“As a matter of fact yes potter, all my other parts are fine.” You loudly defended misunderstanding him.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that I just, well I can see the rest of you is fine, I mean all of you, Remus thinks so… I know that, you know what I’ll just shut up.” He mumbled near the end fumbling over his words.

You giggled a bit but finally agreed, really things were terrible they could only get better now. “Okay. Let’s get this over with.” You agreed and James jumped up. “Well Wait, I should go to Remus first, uh so he knows the whole story before we have him stick his hand up your shirt, not like in that way. Just meet me in my dorm in like ten minutes.” He ran out the door and then grabbed it before it closed.

“You can bring Lily if you want, for moral support of course.” He smiled as he joked.

“Oh fuck of Potter.” You laughed and he disappeared so you made your way to your dorm to change out of the pajamas you had put on after your shower thinking you were spending your evening in bed alone.

“You said What?” Remus asked James loudly after hearing the whole story.

“I was saying that our plan relies on the number of scars there are and you’re the only one she is gonna let see them. Oh and You’re welcome.”

“What am I supposed to thank you? I could barely stand seeing her bare shoulders earlier I choked and had to have Sirius drag me out of the room and you want me to not only touch her bare back but have to count whilst I do it? I’m a complete idiot around her and you know it!”

“Well you have ten minutes until she here.”

“Ten minutes!”

“Actually more like two since I took all that time to explain the story and our plan.”

The color drained from Remus’ face, he instantly regretted ever confiding in his friends about his feelings for you, he wished they had listened to the part where he never planned to act on them.

“I shouldn’t have told you anything.” Remus protested angrily

“No, Moony don’t say that! She likes you too, she even said she likes the scar across your nose, she thinks it’s cute.” He paused as he watched Remus absentmindedly bring his hand to feel the scar across his face, one of the ones he hated most. “She didn’t say that?”

“She did and she called you sweet and nice and cute and smart too!”

“Yeah Rem, I don’t see a downside to this, just keep your composure so you can help the girl out, if you like her so much you will want to help her kill these rumors off.” Sirius added on trying to encourage his friend that he has watched fuss over you for as long as he can remember.

Before Remus could even agree or try to leave there was a knock on the door all the boys turned to each other and stared until peter spoke up. “Well are you dickheads gonna leave the girl waiting?”

“Okay I’ll let her in and me and Peter and Sirius will say we have to go collect other info or something.”

“Got it” Sirius and Peter said in unison and Remus stood there quietly.

Someone finally opened the door and you smiled awkwardly until James welcomed you in. “Hello.” You said awkwardly and the boys all said hello back except Remus who looked like he had seen a ghost.

“Okay so I explained everything to these gits here.” James started.

“I’m not gonna help if you call me a git.” Peter argued.

“You called us all dickheads a couple seconds ago.” Sirius argued back.

“Well is he wrong though?” You shrugged and smiled cheekily.

“If we were dickheads we wouldn’t be helping you.” Sirius said pointing at you and raising his eyebrows like he had made the most intelligent deduction. “Speaking of, Me, Sirius and Peter best be off to get the rest of the needed info on Malfoy.” And with that the three boys left the room.

You turned to Remus who still stood there awkwardly. “We don’t uh, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” You said getting his attention.

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?” He joked and sat beside you on his bed as you fiddled with your fingers.

“I uh guess so yeah. This can’t be that weird for you, I mean it’s weird but I assume you have touched a girls back before.” You laughed awkwardly.

“Can’t say I have no.” He coughed clearing his throat as his cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

“Oh I just, assumed. I haven’t done anything like that either so I’m really not one to talk. Not to mention no one has seen or touched my back since the summer.” The conversation was awkward and Remus’ heart fluttered hearing that you were just as unexperienced as him, not that this was anything sexual just he hoped that this would lead to more in the future if not just friendship.

“Okay, uh turn around.” He said his voice getting caught in his throat as you turned your back to him and sat cross legged pulling your hair out of the way.

You took a deep breath.” Okay Lupin, I trust you.” You whispered and his heart swelled.

Remus used one hand to lift up the back of your shirt reveling three scars going different directions. He coughed “There is um three. I think.”

“You think? You can um touch them, and make sure you remember exactly where they are.” You encouraged him and he took a deep breath bringing his hand to your back.

“Okay there’s this one that’s in between your shoulder blades, it’s really faint.” He traced it lightly his hand brushing over the back of your lace bra and his heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest.

“And this one goes parallel with your spine.” He traced it down, it was a lot deeper and he felt bad for you, knowing some stupid guy did this to you.

“And this one, it starts here.” He started tracing from directly underneath your left shoulder blade. “And it goes across to your ribs here.” He stopped almost wishing there were more to trace but not wishing you to have to endure anything more than you have. He dropped your shirt and you turned around your face hot and you were embarrassed by how much you enjoyed that, maybe just because it was Remus doing it.

“Thanks” You said bashfully and then James came in.

“Okay we are gonna confront him right now, you can wait here y/n and don’t worry we are going to make him look like a fool.” Remus explained to James the scars and their locations and insisted he stay in here with you and wait.

James and Sirius and Peter stopped Lucius in the hallway, just enough people around to witness and Sirius took the lead.

“So I heard about you and that Y/n girl.” Sirius said as casually as he could.

“Yeah, Black. You heard correctly. I thought you guys were friendly with her?” He questioned remembering seeing them together at some point.

“Not as much as you.” Peter chimed in but James glared at him.

“What he means, is not so much this year. We can understand why now; you have been keeping her busy.” Sirius faked a laugh as he spoke, wanting to punch himself in the face for his own words.

“Yeah, I’ve kept her quite occupied.” He smirked people stopping to hear the gossip.

“She’s pretty hot yeah?” James asked and Lucius nodded raising an eyebrow.

“You probably memorized every inch of her haven’t you? You could probably tell us every detail about her, like every freckle or tattoo or mark.” James quipped.

“Yeah you probably know her back like the front of your hand.” Peter added in ruining the saying.

“I don’t think that’s how you say that, but yeah I would say so.” He bragged.

“Well tell us.” Sirius demanded and every eye in the hallway was on them.

Lucius’ eyes widened. “Why should I?”

“Well you haven’t kept anything else a secret why this?” James asked curiously.

“Oh of course she is uh, flawless that one, I mean smooth skin, a few freckles maybe.”

“That’s it?” James asked.

“Positive’ He replied.

“Well, if you actually have been paying her for sex-”

“I don’t pay her for sex, she does it for money because she is a filthy whore.” He spat growing angry.

“As I was saying, if you had really known her body so well you would know she has exactly three scars on her back, put there by your friend over the summer, the one she dumped which is the whole reason you created this stupid rumor about her.” James yelled and Lucius backed up.

“You have no proof.” He barked like a scared dog with its tail between his legs.

“What? Almost like you have no proof in these rumors you started? Pathetic Malfoy, only you would create a rumor in which you still had to pay a girl to fuck you.” The small crowd cheered and laughed at the insult making Lucius speed walk down the hallway. One of the people near the back of the crowd was Lily who smiled watching the Potter boy do something so selfless, she took note of it as she walked away, maybe he was changing.

Whilst all this happened so perfectly you and Remus sat unaware in his bed, once James left the room your turned to Remus facing him. You sheepishly looked over his face “My turn?” You asked and his face fell, you really had no idea how many there really were. “You want to see my back?” He asked confused.

“No I just.” You closed the space between the two of you moving your hand to his face tracing over the one across his nose, your face so close to his he could feel your breath, it smelt like strawberries which he determined must have been from your pink chapstick that he desperately wanted to taste.

“I hate the ones on my face.” He admitted as you traced them, you placed your other hand on his shoulder.

“Really? This one is my favorite.” You smiled.

“Yeah, James told me.” He blurted out before he could stop himself and you took your hand away looking at him.

“He did? What else did he tell you?” You asked mildly annoyed with James.

“Oh nothing that’s it.”

“I find that hard to believe. If Potter spilled one thing, he probably spilled all of it.”

“He may have mentioned that uh, that you might fancy me.” Remus whispered the last part timidly.

“Really? He said that? He said the same thing about you too.”

“What that I fancy Myself?” Remus joked and you laughed.

“Yeah exactly.” You agreed as you watched him look over your lips and lick his own.

“But based solely on the way you are licking your lips and staring at mine I would assume you fancy me too.”

“Oh really?” He smirked.

“And a few other things gave it away.” You teased and before you could continue he pressed his lips to yours roughly, the kiss felt like an eager question and he ran his tongue over your lips tasting your chapstick.

He wrapped his arms around you holding you close, you gasped lightly and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth deepening the kiss, you moaned lightly as he squeezed your sides but before anything more could happen the door swung open and James yelled.

“It worked!” The boys pilled in just to freeze at the sight of you and Remus breaking apart from kissing, Remus still holding you close.

“Worked better than we planned actually.” Sirius corrected but James was quick to object.

“No I totally planned that part too. I get credit for that.” He said excitedly seeing the both of you blush as you hid your face in Remus’ neck.

“Thanks James.” You mumbled and he came and sat directly beside you.

“Don’t thank me, actually do thank me by bringing Lily to Hogsmead this weekend. It can be like a double date.”

“What about us? We helped too.” Peter added in.

“I can get my own date.” Sirius bragged and Peter pouted

“Is that what you call helping mate, a few snarky remarks.” James asked still sitting uncomfortably close to you and Remus.

“I’m sure I can find someone for Peter too.” You laughed genuinely, your day went from utterly terrible to amazing in a matter of an hour and you couldn’t be happier.

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hoaryoldbitch · 7 years

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Let's play devils advocate for one moment. Say J0n3rys does happen... how can it work? D*ny wants nothing short of the Iron Throne, Jon has never wanted to rule. Being cousins might be an issue for anti-Jonsas, but aunt and nephew sounds worse?. D*ny has no problems with taking anything she wants with "fire and blood" but Jon is sick and tired of fighting violent wars. And in GoT's patriarchal society, if D*ny becomes Queen and Jon King, the King will always come first - will D*ny accept that?

Hi, Anon, sorry it took me so long to get back to you on this one… I wanted to take my time to come up with a decent answer for you, but I was often tempted to just say: No, you’re right, it would never work, not in a thousand years.

And I’ll try to go along with your wish to play the devil’s advocate.

I’m going to put this under a cut, because it’s quite long.

First of all, I’d like to point out that incompatability is strictly speaking not enough reason for J0nerys not to happen. There is such a thing as attraction, which simply doesn’t follow any logical rules. Jon and Ygritte for example were also incompatible, at least in a couple of ways. Just think of real-life situations, people who can’t/shouldn’t be together, but still want to for a myriad of reasons.

But of course, this isn’t real life, this is a story and to talk about a possible relationship between two characters, we can’t only look at them as people, but also at their roles in the story.

If we break any story down to the bare components we have a protagonist, who wants to achieve a goal. On the other hand, we have an antagonist whose goal clashes with that of our protagonist and that creates conflict. As you pointed out, Jon and D@ny definitely have these conflicting goals and motivations.

The problem with a story like Game of Thrones/ASOIAF is that it’s just not as clear who is the protagonist and who is the antagonist. It all depends on POV. In this case, we’re familiar with both POVs. Jon is the hero in his own story, but so is D@ny. And the thing is, in their cases we can take this quite literally. They both want to be heroes. You should take this as a very general description, open to many different interpretations.

I think this is what convinces a lot of their shippers they would work together romantically. They both have the best of intentions, but - I think you could feel this coming- the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And that’s especially applicable to D@ny’s narrative. It’s a bit naive to think that good intentions are enough to forgive a character’s mistakes if you ask me, that’s something that’s true for both Jon and D@ny.

To be honest, I could see Jon and pre-Astapor D@ny working, even perhaps Jon and pre-Meereen D@ny… But after Meereen and the fighting pit incident and its aftermath, I can’t, not anymore. At this point, their intentions have changed. The one thing that truly drives them has shifted and their motivations are no longer aligned.

D@ny has embraced her Targaryen legacy and is willing to do anything to take what is hers with fire and blood. I’m not saying she’s going to come in and burn everything to the ground from the moment she arrives in Westeros, but I am anxious to see how she’s going to deal with opposition.

As much as people like to emphasize how righteous and noble her mission to free all the slaves in Slavers’ Bay is - and I’m not even denying that- and while it was crucial for her character development and story arc, it has never been her true mission. Ever since Viserys died, that has always been to conquer the Seven Kingdoms.

She’s always struggled with violence and people suffering and with how she’s supposed to reconcile that with her ambitions as a conqueror, but at this point she’s accepted this as an inevitable part of war.

Jon on the other hand once again finds himself in a position of power he never asked for. I know that on some level it’s everything he’s ever wanted. I feel a lot of people misunderstand Jon when they say he doesn’t want power and that he doesn’t have any ambitions. He does, he’s always wanted that recognition, he’s always known it would never be his, but now that he’s got it, it must fill him with equal measures of guilt and satisfaction.

But Jon is a man on a mission, and he’s going to use the power he’s been given to achieve his goals. He’s still going to do what he thinks is the right thing. Saving the world from the White Walkers is his responsibility, not because he’s Lord Commander or King in the North, but because he’s made the choice to take that mission upon his shoulders. Apart from that the most important thing in Jon’s life is his family.

I think the contrasts here are noteworthy. D@ny wants to rule the Seven Kingdoms, Jon wants to save them. D@ny has chosen the legacy of a family she’s never even known, while Jon has chosen his own family. In the books he chose to break his vows for Arya, on the show he decided to fight for Winterfell, against his desires to abandon everything and go South, because of Sansa and Rickon.

So they are going to clash. This doesn’t mean that J0nerys is not going to happen. I’m actually quite convinced they will in some shape or form, but they’re never going to last.

If Jon bends the knee to D@ny, without consulting Sansa and his bannermen, that’s going to have consequences. I know he might think it’s the right thing if it’s the only way to convince D@ny to help him against the White Walkers, but it’s not going to end well. And he should know that.

If Jon marries D@ny, this is going to cause problems for Jon. His bannermen will not accept a foreign queen, especially not one who wants to be more than a consort. Jon should know that.

Neither of these events are necessarily romantic. And on top of that, I don’t think either of them has their minds on romance at the moment. Emilia Clarke even commented that D@ny has set her desire for a man aside, because she wants to focus on the Iron Throne. But let’s say that despite the circumstances something does occur between the two of them.

Most likely this will, at least initially, only be them looking for comfort in a moment of weakness, and there could be some form of mutual physical attraction as well. This does in no way imply that feelings are involved. People like to say that Jon wouldn’t have sex with someone he’s not in love with, but I don’t know what they’re basing this observaton off. I don’t believe Jon was truly in love with Ygritte the first time they had sex.

But let’s assume that this evolves into more than sex. The circumstances just aren’t right for them. Even then, they could make it work for a while, despite their differences and despite their conflicting goals. It’s inevitable however that at one point R+L=J will be revealed. This is going to cause tension and conflict between them.

Jon will be appalled by the fact that D@ny is his aunt, she will feel threatened by his claim to the Iron Throne. Jon is going to struggle so badly with this revelation and I can see him turning away from D@ny at this point, trying to reconnect to his real family he might feel he has lost at that point. And while D@ny might be willing to put her fears aside because in Jon she can finally gain a family member, his response to the news isn’t going to go over well with her.

Let’s say they are able to overcome even this. The North will not be as willing to follow Jon once they find out about R+L=J. If they’re already in the middle of a war against the White Walkers, they might turn a blind eye for now, in order to survive, but in the long term, it’s not going to work out.

I think it’s very likely that D@ny will die in the War for the Dawn, be it Nissa Nissa style, sacrificing herself or giving birth to a magical Targcest baby. I don’t even want to rule out the possibility that D@ny does go full mad queen at some point or that she at least does something Jon won’t be able to forgive her. I can see Jon being forced to kill her. He’s always felt guilty about Ygritte dying, as if he was truly responsible for her death, so it could be possible we’ll see a repetition of this, but with Jon truly killing his lover.

I know there’s a chance Jon will not survive the War for the Dawn either, but please let me live in denial for as long as I can and let’s assume for a while that both of them survive.

The North will still be a problem. After the White Walkers have been defeated or however which other way the conflict will be resolved, I can see Jon more than willing to abdicate in favour of Sansa, Arya or Bran, but I don’t think D@ny is going to give it up so easily.

This will create yet another conflict between her and Jon, and if it comes to it, Jon will choose the Starks over D@ny. But let’s say that they find a solution. D@ny will still want an alliance with the North, most likely through marriage. She might ask Sansa and Tyrion to renew their marriage, but I don’t think the North would accept that.

The other option of course is for Jon to marry either Arya or Sansa. Jon and D@ny might be willing to set their personal desires aside for the good of the realm. I don’t like this option for any of the people involved.

But let’s take this yet another step further and assume that they find some other way to solve this problem and Jon and D@ny can be together. Where will they end up? D@ny is not going to agree to come and live in Winterfell, so it would be King’s Landing for them.

This would never work out. Jon would be miserable in the capital, away from the North and his family, trapped in that viper’s nest. He and D@ny would clash constantly, both over political matters and personal ones.

As you’ve pointed out, Westeros is a patriarchal society and even if Jon wasn’t a Targ, most lords would consider him the true ruler, not D@ny. She’s not going to be able to accept that. D@ny wants to be a Queen Regnant, not a Queen Consort. And while Jon would probably accept the title of Prince Consort instead of being King, the lords of Westeros would probably still treat him as the King.

Perhaps if they had children together, this could save them. But chances are that D@ny really is barren, or that she’s unable to deliver a healthy child. This would not only put more strain on their relationship, it would also be a political disaster.

I could see either of them ending up looking for comfort elsewhere. You might say this is OOC for Jon, but people simply do things which are uncharacteristic for them when they’re extremely unhappy. And in that case I could see Jon turning to Arya or Sansa or another Northern woman.

So, in the end I’m going to give you the same answer, Anon. No, it would never work out. And I want more than that for Jon. I want him to get his happy ending, his dream of being a lord, marrying a lady and having a family of his own. And in my opinion there’s only one other character whose dreams are completely aligned with his and that’s Sansa.

#jon snow #anti-jonerys #anonymous #i know i didn't even address the incest #but it's been done before #also you basically answered your own question #it is worse #even more so because of targcest #jon deserves to be happy #jonsa is endgame

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former-psychiatrist-blog · 7 years

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@kniivesandlint threatened the lives of everyone i know if I didn’t post this. So heres a weird and bad drabble I did for Joker/Jack and Harley/Harleen.

Harleen was an only child growing up. She was the bastard of a man who manipulated her mother, and Harleen grew up watching the lover her mother had for him destroy every ounce of who she was. All those fairy tales of true love never spoke to this little girl. She'd seen the real face of love.

The ugly truth of what it could be. And so this little girl grew up refusing to acknowledge its existence. Terrified of what it would do to her if she fell prey to its misleading clutches. She lead her life by her own rules, keeping relations with men strictly physical. Using them for the fleeting pleasure she could not be caught by, instead of cheating doom in matters of the heart.

In the spring of her Jr. year in med school Harleen Quinzel's life changed forever when she met a man named Jack.He was a chemistry major. A funny and charming man. Blond hair, curly as could be. He had a smile that was so contagious she deemed it a hazardous material right away. He had bumped into her, knocking her files and books to the ground. How cliche' right?

She thought so too.

He was instantly hooked on her. He loved her smile too. This pretty blonde looked like she needed it more to be honest. He made the choice right then and there to dedicate any free time he had to making her smile.

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and the two found themselves inseparable friends. Studying, lunches, even hiding out in the library just to talk about anything and everything.The weird part about this, was that they hadn't even slept together. It didn't come up. Not for months. Until he took her out on July 20th. Harleen's birthday. He got her into lots of shinanagins that day.

Contraband on campus, including liquor and fire works. Swimming in the fountain. Yea, Harleen smiled a lot around him. She was having such a good time that she couldnt stop herself from leaning in and pressing her lips to his. One thing lead to another, and they fucked right there in the fountain. Once more behind the statue on campus, and then again in his dorm room.

All this energy they had for each other. It was like lighting when they touched. Come that morning Harleen had awoken with the knowledge of her fatal mistake, when he rolled over and pulled her close. A stupid chemistry joke broke the foggy morning silence and he whispered in her ear that he loved her.

Harleen's heart stopped.

Not because of what he said. No. Because she was falling in love with him too.

A quiet panic set in and Harleen excused herself with a fake smile. She was apparently going to be late for class. Jack didn't see her again after that. But she saw him. She saw him waiting for her. She watched him searching campus high and low for her. With each passing day his smile faded, until it was rarer than hers. That was what she was running from. Not him, but what that sickening thing called love was doing to him.It was killing who he was. Everything about him. She would not suffer the same fate. So she cut ties before they could form knots. two years later Harleen Quinzel became the first student at Gotham University to intern right out the gates at Arkham.

She was ambitious and good at her job. So good, they gave her their hardest patient. A man of unknown origins. Driven mad by a chemical accident. Bleached skin, green hair. The most sickly smile anyone has ever seen. Called himself the Joker.

Harleen was not expecting what happened that day when they brought the man in. It wasn't his hair, or his smile that gave him away. It was his eyes. The eyes she spent months staring into telling herself they were the eyes of her bestfriend and nothing more. The eyes of a man so full of love and laughter that he seemed to brighten the whole world around them. Now?

They were the eyes of a man who'd tasted the illness called love, and it'd torn him apart.

"You look familiar doc." He grins, "Havent I seen you on one of the stripper poles of Gotham?"He giggles to himself.

It's the same laugh. Just... Just darker.

"Maybe." She retorts, absent jest or even a smirk.

"Why so serious? Lets put a smile on that face of yours Doctooooor Quinz-"

He has no memories of his former life. Not before the accident drove him mad. But some times he can catch a brief glimpse of something from his past with the right trigger.

Quinzel.

A blond girl giggling and telling him he made awful jokes. He can't quite see her face behind her hand, but he can see her eyes. Those cold blue eyes.

"Do you want to know how i got these scars doctor?""I'm in an accident you see. Chemicals, nasty things in the right combination. Bleaches my skin. Dyes my hair. I woke up in a hospital. They tell me I'm lucky to be alive." He smirks, pausing to lick his lips a few times."Lucky to be alive they say." Another giggle.

" As what? I ask the nurse, a ghost? I have no idea who I am, my skin is splotchy and my hair! Well its a new fabulous colour! Don't you think Quinzel?"

She doesn't respond, just nods and listens. "She tells me," He licked his lips and leaned in like he was still upset about the audacity of the woman.

"She tells me, I should smile. Smiling and laughter are the best medicines."

"So you know what I do doc? I took the kniiiiife, from my lunch traaay. This is good, listen to this. And I caaaaaaaaaaarveee my lips into a smile. Why? Because, if I smile BIGGER and CONSTANTLY! I should heal faster!"

Harleen's brows knitted together, but she kept her silence just listening.

"Naturally- I sued the hospital for malpractice. After all, a doctor giving out fake advice like that could lead to some- accidentallllll misUNderstANDings." He giggled again.

"It says here you stabbed her to death with her own pen.""I lied. Sue me." Another sickening laugh.

The worst part about all of this was the crippling guilt she felt for this poor man. He'd lost everything, everyone he ever knew was gone to him, and no one cared to step up and tell him who he was. Strange, the longer she spent with him the more she felt like she knew him. The more she wanted to know him better. He had this gravitational pull towards her, and no matter what she did she couldn't escape the fact that she wanted to be where ever this man was. She'd only felt it once in her life, back in college. She run from it for so long it seemed to be catching up with her. Her will to fight it, her ability to run from it, was all fading. It was like she was caught in a bear trap and he was pulling her in slowly and painfully. She could see it happening but was powerless to stop it.

"Do you know any jokes doc?"

"Just one." She replied.

Harleen was hesitant to say it, after all, it was the worst joke she'd ever heard...

"Babe Ruth is on the field, practicing his batting when a horse walks up to him. He says I'm here to try out for the team. Babe Ruth looks at him confused, youre a horse, what can you do? The horse replies, I can do what you can do, but better. So Ruth hands him a bat and pitches to him. BAM BAM. Hit after hit out of the park. Ruth is so impressed, he says what else can you do? Well I can play short stop! The horse boasts. Oh wow! Can you pitch? The horse deadpans and looks him dead in the eye. Who ever heard of a horse that can pitch?"

She cant help the nostalgic smirk on her face.

Its the same joke Jack had told to her in the library. The worst joke she'd ever heard.

Somewhere deep in the Joker's mind something triggers. Another memory. Holding a girls hand. A water fountain. Lunch. A kiss, brisk movements and shared breath under a blanket. The images drive him mad, and he cant handle it, a psychotic break pushing him to rage and orderlies rush in to save Harleen.

Its only when she finds herself yelling "Don't hurt him!" That she knows.

Harleen Quinzel was in love.

She doesn't know who he really is anymore than he does. But she knows what she feels when shes with him. And he knows he has met her before.

Neither of them will ever truly know just how deep they are connected, but as time passes they will make choices, decisions they never thought they'd make for each other. Actions that seem almost out of character for them all because of the connection they are unaware they share.He'll keep her instead of killing her, shape her mind into something reminiscent of his own. He'll pamper her. Call her baby, kiss her. Fuck her. and when hes done with her he'll let her stay.

She will let him drive her crazy. Hit her. Beat her. Abuse her, throw her into harms way and each time she'll crawl back because they are connected. They are sick and dark soulmates in the slimy underbelly of a thing called love. See, not everyone knows that love is not all flowers, romance and weddings.

Its an addiction you just can't shake. A gnawing need for someone that drives you mad. A weakness for someone you'd rather not have. But you keep them. Because they bring a smile to your face. You keep them, because its empty and to quiet when they are not around.

You keep them because when your entire world feels like its spinning, you need them to hold on to. Harleen never truly escaped the clutches of love, and in running from it she forged her own fate at the hands of a man who'd gone mad over the same love she'd run from. Fate has a funny way of working around all the curve balls you throw at it. Its finicky, and if you piss it off? Well.

No one wants a mad love. Except maybe these two.

#Jarley #joker and harley #;;save #;;drabble

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