#sometimes I make myself look at the comments. feels a little funny. doesn’t feel like they’re things actually said about me

[saetoru]

Tee…

I’m now on my hands and knees BEGGING for bully Gojo who is (secretly) DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE over the reader PLEASE ANY CRUMBS I WILL TAKE

(you don’t actually have to write this it was just a nice thought)

idkkkkk if it’s rly bully gojo—but he’s definitely a real cunt for sure.

i just think about an asshole! gojo a lot like he’s ur lab partners or something and he does that stereotypical jerk move where he’s like “seriously ?? her ??” when he’s first paired with you. and he’s just naturally an douche, yk ?? wears sunglasses indoors and makes jokes at the professors expense under his breath that gets him snickers and snorts from his frat guys in his class. has to be asked more than once to “please keep it down in the middle of class” by wtv prof he’s in class with.

and he ofc makes u do all the work bc he can’t be bothered—and on the rare occasion that he is bothered, he just does a poor job that’s the bare minimum and sloppy enough that ur like wtv i’ll just do it myself. and then ofc sometimes u don’t have a choice but to meet up to finish something after class every now and then—he wouldn’t care to, but he actually needs to know the stuff for the final report he has to write individually, so he begrudgingly meets up with you, and sometimes you notice his friends give you an amused look when he walks up with them. they snicker before they leave as he sits with you. sometimes they make a snide comment here and there like “have fun with ur super hot date” that makes him roll his eyes—he doesn’t do much to hide the look of distaste on his face.

but then—and he doesn’t even know when it happens—you start to slowly grow on him. because ur actually pretty snarky urself, sometimes making a dry comment here and there about the professor and his stupid bald headed self. sometimes a girl in the distance laughs too hard a group of guys that u roll ur eyes and mumble how “if i had a voice like that i’d never laugh in public” and it makes him snort a bit without meaning to. sometimes you stare daggers at the person who has their music so loud thru their headphones they can’t help but notice u and turn it down in embarrassment. ur actually not as much of a pushover as he thought—you just genuinely think he’s too incapable to help u out that you’ve just shrugged him off and started doing his part. it’s an easy weekly lab class anyway, you don’t need him—and then he realizes that u rly just don’t care for him. his little snickers at u with his friends and their snide comments roll off ur back bc well…he’s him—an asshole little frat boy and u didn’t expect anything better from him. so it makes him a little intrigued—maybe a little wounded in his pride, deep down, because no one has ever been indifferent to him before. they’re either madly in love, or they hate his guts, or they follow his lead. either works—he still gets the attention he craves.

but u just don’t rly care. and ur actually pretty cool, and kinda sorta funny in a way no one else is. he likes it…and fuck, now he’s starting to like you. he can tell bc when his friends ask how his little date with you went, he starts getting a bit huffy ab it bc they don’t need to talk about you. they don’t even know you…but also….its not a date. and that’s the worst part. sometimes it feels like a date. almost—sometimes you both decide to take a break in between and go get a coffee or a light snack. sometimes he’s even paid (to which you look mildly shocked before politely thanking him) and you both walk back to the library while u make light banter and it’s…well, fun. and nice. and your laugh is pretty. and your smile is kinda cute and he (though he hates to admit it) rly likes it when u laugh because of him.

and then things start to get messy—really, he didn’t mean for it to start this way. he really was meaning to ask you in a genuine manner to see u again once the semester was finished. because he’s actually started pulling his weight—he wants u to see him for someone who’s smart. satoru is actually rly rly smart and no one knows it because he doesn’t rly show it but he is. he wants u to see that side of him—somehow there’s some sick validation he rly needs from you knowing he’s not a dense frat guy who drinks and fucks until 3 am every night. so he starts doing his parts and actually communicates with u about sections. so starts ur texting routine—sometimes a little longer than u rly need to for just doing a lab together. sometimes it’s “did u hear ab that girl in our class getting dumped in front of the kfc ??” and sometimes it’s “god our prof rly needs to get some pussy” and other times it’s “look what the guy who sits behind us just posted on his story” and it leads to a few long convos that admittedly…are rly fun. ur so fun. he likes it. he rly does like u and he thinks maybe….maybe he’s grown on u too and you know what ?? satoru’s always a jerk but ur nice and who’s to say he can’t be nice too ?? just for one person. for u, he can be a nice guy—u carried lab all on ur own long enough that u deserve it anyway.

until he gets swayed in that way only a coward can. in that way you do when ur used to being “the man” around ur friends and ur too pressured to keep up that energy for appearances sake bc u don’t wanna be the laughing stock who softened up for “some nerdy chick who’s a nobody.” so he laughs when they laugh at the fact that ur probably “still a virgin who’s never touched a guy before” and then they’re patting gojo on the back and shoving at his shoulder as they laugh harder and suggest that “y’know what would be so funny man ?? if u took her virginity. you could probably do it.”

the thought is sickening because…satoru wouldn’t want to fuck you like that. god, you have him caring about when and how he fucks you—in fact, just thinking about you lewdly makes him feel guilty. disrespectful, even. you’re more than a fleshlight for his dick. since when did he become so respectful ?? but he doesn’t know how to say no, especially when everyone starts agreeing one after the other—and oh no, now they’re betting on how quickly he can do it….and oh, now it’s not just fucking. now it’s “how long until you think she’s head over heels for you? man, that would be a sight, huh ??”

and….well, satoru decides it couldn’t hurt, right ?? he does want to be romantically involved so that would include you being head over heels. hopefully. fingers crossed. and he doesn’t rly want to seem lame in front of the guys either, so he gets to keep both sides of the coin, so is it really that bad ?? maybe not the right idea but certainly the right execution. he’ll treat you well—that much he’s confident of. so he forces out a laugh and says “gimme a month or two, you’ll see.”

and a month or two they give him. and a month or two it takes—but not for you to be head over heels. it’s him who’s utterly and completely obsessed and fallen head first and whatever else they say to describe love because wow. this must be what it is. this must be that stupid fairytale shit they always talk about because fuck, no one has ever looked at him like that. like he’s some miracle to this earth and some wonder only you know of—like you hope it stays that way and that he’s yours and yours alone and no one else comes in to take him away. satoru really likes being yours, it kinda feels better than you being his. being yours means you hold him like that at night and wake him up to a kiss between his brows and sometimes, when he gets those migraines he’s prone to getting, you always seem to know. always seem to understand when to close the blinds and keep quiet and wrap him up in the covers as you rub your thumbs over his temples soothingly.

he almost forgets about that silly little bet he made two months ago when he’s around you. actually, he forgets everything when he’s around you. he’s only ever thinking about you, you, you. when he comes back to his frat house, on the other hand, they’re all gathered around waiting for the newest details. how you must’ve been so pathetically star struck by him. how you must be embarrassingly bad at kissing. how you must stutter over every other word around him. how you must be making a complete and utter fool of urself trying to impress him and be someone you’re not bc the real you would never pique his interest.

they’re wrong ofc. if anyone’s star struck, it’s satoru bc how the hell are u so…cool ?? and so funny and witty and carefree ?? and you’re good at kissing—have him chasing your lips with a whine every time. sometimes you even chuckle at him when he does and make him blush a bit. he’s the one who stutters over his words when he sees you in your little date night outfits. sometimes he watches you drink from your straw and his brain short circuits a little until you snap at him and ask him in confusion if he’s alright. but the real kicker ?? it’s that if anyone’s pretending, it’s satoru. you’re always just you—unapologetically so, that it’s endearing and beautiful and so unearthly he wonders how he got so lucky. but him ?? he’s always acting like some guy he’s not. some chivalrous guy who opens doors and pushes out seats and kisses the back of hands and waits at least a few dates before even considering fucking. some nice, sweet, genuine guy who’s deserving.

he’s not that—never was. if you knew the real him, you’d leave in a heartbeat. it’s a scary thought. a raw feeling he doesn’t like. makes him feel all self conscious and insecure and all that weird shit he never thought he’d feel.

he tries. so hard, he tries to make them forget about that silly little bet and just slowly drop it and maybe even forget ur dating so he can just stay living this peaceful little fantasy with you—but that’s stupid. that’s naive. it’s been 4 months and enough is enough—the guys need to see the look on ur face when u realize what a fool ur being and satoru is “being a lazy ass who’s too comfortable not having for work for pussy these days.” so then there’s a video going around. it’s everyone gathered around on the couch drunk and talking about you. and satoru. you both, in fact. how it’s been two months and u seem desperate for his attention with the shrill little voice you use to call him toru, baby! it’s so, so fucking embarrassing, they say. how you think he likes it. (he does. god he does so much, it hurts. he loves it, actually, when you call him that. makes him feel special in a way he never has.) but then, the worst, most disgustingly nauseous part of the whole thing is when satoru laughs along and plays into their awful words. just lets them talk about you like you’re some piece of meat. something for him to chew up and spit out after he has a taste or you. not even worth savoring and enjoying. he laughs along and agrees—you’re nothing special and he can’t wait until he’s free of you.

that part hurts. that part sucks the most—when he acts like he didn’t tremble under your touch every time you kissed him. like he didn’t beg you to stay just five more minutes! before walking out the door to go home. he acts one way in front of you and one way in front of them and what’s worse ?? you don’t know which one is real. couldn’t tell even if your life was on the line to decide. because there’s no way he’s that good at pretending to be desperately in love, no fucking way. but there’s also no way he can be in love if he’s talking about you like that. that’s not what love is—that’s not what love feels like. that’s not what it means to someone.

you don’t know which satoru is the real one, but you know that neither is worth your time. not if he can’t stick to it.

it’s terrible thing—the way you break up. it’s messy and teary and he’s begging, he’s actually begging. he never thought he’d do that. but he doesn’t even hesitate to plead for you to hear him out. baby, please let me explain. wait, please don’t walk away—please just listen! i can explain.

he can’t explain, though when you as him to. stands there with a bitten bottom lip and teary eyes that are pleading you to just stay with him. to overlook this and just … ignore it like it’s nothing. like what he did and said was just nothing and you can shrug it off like you’re nothing too. like your feelings are nothing and so is your worth and that’s why you should just ignore the way he absolutely destroyed your pride and reputation and dignity and worse….every ounce of your love.

such deep, raw, pure love—it’s almost enough to heal every dry crack and crevice of this earth and bring it back to life.

you look at him with teary eyes and something so broken, it makes him feel like dirt beneath your feet.

“it’s embarrassing, satoru,” you hiss that night through tears, “you’re in your twenties getting a degree and you’re still just a high school bully. life’s really gonna kick you in the ass some day.”

life’s already kicking him in the ass as soon as you walk out. the air is colder. the world is dimmer. food doesn’t taste as good and fuck—there is just so much loneliness when you have no one to be yourself with. when there’s no you.

but he supposes you’re right though—he is just a bully. it’s pathetic, really. and maybe it’s for the best. maybe you don’t deserve someone who’s only ever known how to feel good because someone else doesn’t.

#bye #this is so obnoxiously long for a silly little jumble of thoughts #maybe i’ll flesh it out and make it an actual fic tho #bully! gojo tag

[mobbothetrue]

mmm I’ve been in kind of a weird headspace lately about my writing and how I’m perceived

Gonna put this under a cut cause it’s mostly just me being introspective

like. I’m just Some Guy, yk? And my writing is good. I’m trying to get better at acknowledging that my writing is good, not that, I dunno, it’s all some cosmic fluke. I enjoy what I do. I’m good at it. I’m also just some guy. I’m trying to figure out how these pieces fit together

What’s the picture of me that people get from my words? Is it correct? I’m just me. My writing is just mine.

Recently I went back and counted every single comment I’ve ever gotten. Over eight hundred— eight hundred comments, across various sites, and even then, that number isn’t necessarily accurate. The closer number is around 56,000, which is a scarily large number to think about, especially when I cannot think of a single negative thing said to me. Weird things? Sure. But no one has ever called my writing bad. I’m good at it.

So why do I struggle with it? Reconciling me, the author, and me, the person. They’re both me. I’m not trying to be anyone else. I dunno.

#sometimes I make myself look at the comments. feels a little funny. doesn’t feel like they’re things actually said about me #but they are. I don’t know why there’s a divide there but there is #I think these feelings are bubbling up a little since I joined the sonic library discord server #wonderful server I really like it there good times but I’ve never NEVER talked about my fanfic with people before #like sure. my friends know about it. sure. I’ve chatted with people in my comments. but I’ve never… it’s different. it’s new #mmm also to elaborate on the.. number of comments #across my ao3 and fanfic presence that’s the 800. and then that one tumblr post is the 50k+ #hm I just. I dunno. I’m not really going anywhere with this just thinkin #tryin to get better at talking to people

[shutupineedtothink]

More Moiraine & Lan (and the Bond) thoughts, because I really just can’t help myself.

Just thinking about how we know every Aes Sedai and Warder share the Bond, but we don’t see any other AS/Warder teams using it as a form of communication NEARLY as much as Moiraine and Lan do.

Like these mofos are having full conversations with head tilts and tiny eyebrow raises and 3 seconds of eye contact from the jump. Sometimes not even looking at each other. And it’s extra great if you’re a show only like me because you only realize it when you go back later after all the stuff with the Bond is explained in 1x04/1x05. Like I remember thinking when I was first watching the pilot ‘wow, these two are really in sync, clearly they’ve known each other a long time,’ but it’s so much more than that obviously.

Now, one easy explanation for this is that we’re just seeing them the most, they’re main characters, and s1 especially does a lot of work hyping up the Bond and how important it is so that we get the full impact of them being cut off later. Makes sense.

But… idk like even Alanna and Ihvon and Maksim, who are actually in a romantic relationship, don’t seem to prefer the Bond as a way to communicate. We even see them have their little diplomatic discussion before Ihvon goes to follow Tomas. It’s an actual conversation. Maksim even prefers the Bond masked, so I guess in that way they kind of have to talk to each other.

Verin and Tomas are pretty quiet in general, but still it’s not emphasized that they use the Bond to communicate that much. Perhaps this is also highlighted by Tomas’s advice to Lan that the Bond isn’t the only common language they share with their Aes Sedai.

Except for Moiraine and Lan, it’s like AT LEAST 80%. It’s the primary way they communicate. Because 1. they’re both so naturally reserved on the outside (but feel very deeply on the inside), and 2. I imagine it comes in handy to be extra good at it when you’re on the road searching for the Dragon Reborn and you don’t want everyone around you to know what you’re about.

Then there’s Stepin’s comment from s1 to Kerene, “Can you imagine their dinners?” Which is funny but also very telling. To all the other Aes Sedai and Warders, Moiraine and Lan seem pretty cold and distant, to everyone else and each other. But again, that’s by design to protect their mission. They’re just having conversations no one else can see, even other Bonded pairs. It’s like most AS and their Warders use the Bond as insurance, a fail safe even, to understand and communicate with each other, with normal human communication (i.e. TALKING) as the primary method. But for Moiraine and Lan it’s the other way around.

My POINT BEING, that this adds weight to their storyline in S2. Like they are REALLY struggling because on top of everything else, this fundamental piece of their relationship and communication is just gone. And it opens a door for Moiraine to push Lan away, when she NEVER would have been able to before, practically or emotionally. And he reels from her attacks because he’s just not as good at understanding her without the Bond, when he would have seen right through that shit before, just from feeling alone. So Tomas can say to him, you need to really listen, but 20 years of shared emotional mind reading is not that easy to bypass. You don’t learn normal person communication skills overnight. Certainly not when there’s this gaping hole in your head/heart where another person you probably knew better than yourself should be but isn’t.

Anyway, I think it just adds even more credence to why they’re both so lost throughout most of S2, especially Lan. And what makes them so badass with the Bond but so absolutely uncoordinated without it. And why every other Aes Sedai/Warder thinks they’re fuckin weird. And why we love them, because who doesn’t want to be so fundamentally understood like that? Who doesn’t want their own secret language with someone that no one else really gets, but that person gets you on a level so real it can’t be replaced? That’s what we’re all reaching for, and that’s what they have with each other. For better or worse.

#other aes sedai and warders: talking 80% / Bond 20% #Moiraine and Lan: Bond 80% / body language 15% / talking 5% #so extra #but I imagined it just happened for them #it wasn’t intentional #but then they got too used to it and couldn’t stop #and they never thought they’d have to #and then they finally get it back and it’s like they become whole people again #like you can see what a missing limb it was once they’re finally back on their game #jfc these two #wheel of time #the wheel of time #moiraine damodred #lan mandragoran #wot on prime #wot

[mshalfemptygirl]

Spit Your Love On Me (S.R)

Plot: Spencer Reader are having an enjoyable Saturday night that just might get better.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Contents: smut (oral sex male receiving) and fluffy, just a lovely couple loving each other. A bit of teasing, cause I like it.

A/N: Thank you so much for you guys liked my fics. I have 5 now and they are getting a lot of likes. Comment and Reblog them please, my heart melts with every interaction. I’ll let the link for Spencer Reid Masterlist in the end. Love y’all. Requests are open! Hope you like it! Oh, of course, Måneskin inspire me in this one, like always.

It was a typical Saturday night, Spencer and I have a tradition of watching a movie, cooking dinner afterwards, and talking about random things in our lives until three in the morning. And since it was late, he let me sleep here and he woke me up with kisses on my neck every Sunday morning.

We had been dating for four months and just being intimate enough to sleep in the same bed, we never had sex. It wasn't for lack of desire, we agreed not to rush with it and let it happen naturally. I tease him a lot for fun, he doesn’t complain ‘cos he knows that I would never force him to do anything he doesn't want to. By the way, everytime I call him “hot”, he blushes violently, it’s just too funny. We spend a lot of time in the kitchen today, cooking pasta and drinking wine, he has the gift of making simple everyday things cool. I don't know how people live without Spencer Reid by their side.

We were washing dinner dishes together, he washed and I dried everything, it was a system that worked and it may seem silly, but in those moments I felt close to him.We get stuck in our world and nothing else matters. He looked at me all the time, once, he told me that looking at me was like looking at the goddess Aphrodite. In fact, that I was much prettier than her. What a lie. 

I had already dried everything and put it away, just missing the wine glasses he was washing. Spencer was a tall man and I was a short woman, but I was glad that today I was wearing high-heeled boots that made one have quicker access to the back of his neck. Slowly, I arrived from behind, put my hand on his waist and kissed the back of his neck, he shivered in reaction.

"Baby, I'm going to end up breaking the glass," I chuckled. He was the most precious thing in this world. "Sorry, it's just that I miss you", he finished washing the glass, closed the tap before saying,"But you saw me yesterday and the day before yesterday . We spend a lot time together". I gave him another kiss on the back of his neck “I know but it's not enough, I've always wanted you all to myself, all the time".

He turned to me and placed an icy hand on my face, I melt with every touch of yours, sometimes I feel like a porcelain doll that can break at any moment. "Spence, I love you so much, you know that, right?!", he smiled. I will never get tired of this view, his face brings me peace and his presence comforts me, it's only been four months together but it seems so much longer. "I love you too, very much."

And his gaze drifted towards my lips and I knew what I should do, I kissed him and honestly, his kisses always awaken something in me, it looks like that with each kiss I gain more years of life. After several wet kisses he suddenly stopped, he looks uncomfortable and and his cheeks gradually gained a shade of pink, something that was not uncommon to see. He turned his face away.

"Baby, are you alright?", he shook his head. "Something's wrong, tell me." He looked into my eyes, I watch him bit his bottom lip, he was nervous. “Pff, this situation is embarrassing. I'm little...excited, you know?" I frowned. I didn't understand. Excited??? Wait, he was aroused. Because of me. Gezz! "Baby, were you telling me you're hard ‘cause of me?".

"Yes, I am. This situation is pretty embarrassing. I think it’s better go take a cold shower, sorry.", he started to move however I stopped him. It seemed too cruel if I didn't help him now, I wanted to please him, I wanted to taste him, I wanted to finally have an intimate moment with the man I loved. I didn't filter my next words, they came out of my mouth faster than lightning, I couldn't contain my desire.

"Spencer, wait. This doesn't have to be embarrassing, I can help you. I know we promised not to rush things but I want to make you feel good, I want this. Let me help you, I get down on my knees now if you want but only if you say you want to. Let me taste you.", I could see his innocent eyes turn black, I knew how much he loved the audios and how my tease could get to him and confessing that I wanted to get on my knees for him, made him immobile, going over what I said in your head over and over like a song.

"Spence? My love?!", He blinked his eyes and took a deep breath, I was tense. Whatever his command was, I would do it. "I want this, please, I need you", he confessed to me, it felt like he was telling me a secret that had been kept for a long time. Then, I gave him a soft kiss that natually became a needy kiss. I went down to his neck, giving kisses and licking his skin, I know that teasing is something important in intercourse and I wanted him to have a good experience.

I unbuttoned his shirt and trailed kisses down the V line and looked up, he was aware of my every move. "Can I go on, love?" he shakes his head. “Love, I need words”, I want hear it, consent is key for this to work, for it to be good for both me and him. It is the basics that every human being should know. “Yes, baby”.

I took off his belt and lowered his pants, his underwear was white and was already marked with his pre-cum. I placed a kiss on his cock over the fabric. "Please angel, I can’t wait any longer", he whimpered, my love is so needed. I laughed, he was desperate for this. "Calm down love, we have plenty of time. And oh, I want to hear your moans, so don't be shy", next I took his underwear off, I was trying to be very gentle with him, I wanted to go step by step, very slowly.

I went from bottom to top before popping his cock into my mouth, Spence let out a loud groan, feeling the pleasure take over your body. It was the best thing I've ever heard in my life. Gradually I increased the pace, he threw his head back and held tight to the kitchen counter. I felt his body vibrate under my touch, so I decided to tease him a bit.

"Do you like it, babe? Have your cock in my mouth? Such a good boy” he moaned again, he whispers a lot of "yes, yes, yes" and I went back to what he was doing, feeling proud of it. Seeing him get messed up for me is wonderful, I love him so much and would do anything for my boy. Not much time later, he looked me in my eyes to say, "I'm almost there, Y/N, let me cum. Please.".  Fuck, it would be so good to taste him. I took it out of my mouth again, never stopping my hand movements "Come for me, love, I’m waiting for it for so long", I intensified the movements and he yelled my name before spitting his love in my face. He was out of breath and so was I, and my makeup was ruined. He will be the death of me.

"Did you liked it, Spence?", On his face he had a smirk when he saw my painted face, behind that little angel face, there's a very dirty mind that I really want to explore. I can imagine the possibilities."Yeah, I'm in heaven, your mouth is so good. Just so fucking good. And I messed up your makeup, I'm so sorry."

I got up from the floor, trying to wipe my face with my hand, now the one who looked like a mess was me "Oh come on, I know you weren't sorry about that. I hope you liked it because the day I have you inside me, then you'll be in heaven", I finished with a soft kiss on his lips, I could spend hours doing this with him, I would never get tired of it. Afterwards, we went to the bathroom to clean up the mess we made in the kitchen, and after today, we're going to do more than sleep in that bed.

Talk to me

Spencer Reid Masterlist

A/N: let me know if you want me to tag you

TAG

@thebloomingeagle

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #sub spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x fem!readr #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fandom

[loveabledirtbag]

2.02 - pasta

there’s something about opening on a black screen with a catchy, familiar song that just makes me into what i’m watching. i don’t know what it is about that particular edit, i fully recognize it about myself, and i don’t even strongly like the song “she drives me crazy” by fine young cannibals. BUT black screen, song comes on, quick cut to an arial shot of chicago in winter and it’s just got me going, “hell ya. let’s go.”

i liked the quick cut of a printed sign on the bear’s wall as they’re making plans, crossing off things they’re accomplishing and working on renovating the space for their grand opening, but there’s just a little printed sign that says “bear part two”, which is funny. because this is the bear, season two. but it’s also the first iteration of the bear, which makes the “in world” meaning of “the bear part two” kinda odd.

i love the familiarity between carmy and syd. it’s only on this, my 90th rewatch that i realize this is really the first time we see them sort of acting like friends and partners, more than work colleagues, and especially boss and employee. all last season they had friendly moments, but there was always an edge of: carmy is the boss, and syd is the employee. and no matter how friendly they were, and they were pretty nice and friendly, the two did an excellent job of having an element of feeling like they worked together. like if one of them were to introduce the other to a friend or family they would say: “oh, we work together”. even in the first episode of season two, they’re still friendly, and the power dynamic has shifted nicely since season one because they’re partners now, but they still have this air of “work friends”. but right away in episode two carmy and syd are walking through the shop talking about how syd’s dad is sem-supportive but doesn’t understand syd, and i’m only just realizing that it’s the first time they’ve really talked about personal things with each other non-chalantly. this is the first time in the show we’ve ever seen them be “friend friends” not work-friends…and yet, it’s so natural and easy i didn’t even realize the shift had happened until just now.

in one second we received; the first mention of syd’s mom. that she and her dad are going to her mom’s birthday dinner. AND, the fridge guy is on the phone, but because marcus threw the phone without anyone ready, it shattered on the ground. carmy will call the fridge guy back….right….?

i hate that the moment nat comes into the scene casually eating food while walking, my brain (which is so accustomed to stereotypes in media) said “oh! she’s pregnant!” and not “oh! she’s working hard and doing most of the detail work for the restaurant, so she’s eating on the go!” but, media tropes being what they are, my mind went to: PREGNANT

“you feeling okay, nat? you look a little pale”, “yeah. it’s just that sometimes i look like february.”, “….sure…” 1) amazing line. truly fantastic. 2) come on. nat’s pregnant.

fak and natalie’s “mom & son” relationship is so weird and i love it. “yes, my honey?” who actually says thay to another adult in a non-actually being someone’s mom, or a “non-bdsm” capacity? apparently nat.

“you alright? you want a sprite? you look kinda green.” 1) this line that richie says to nat will come back to be important in a few episodes. 2) this is the second time in like a minute that someone’s commented on nat’s appearance and her not looking great. so, she’s definitely pregnant. like, they’re not even trying to hide it, as they hide it.

ebra’s hesitation about going to culinary school BREAKS MY HEART. ugh. i love ebra. sad ebra makes me sad. “i don’t want to wear a uniform” and tina’s immediate “it’s not that kind of uniform.” implying he was thinking of his time in the army in samalia….UGH, EBRA!

however, excited tina, giddy at the thought of culinary school, is such a vibe.

fridge guy debacle continues: carmy calling the fridge guy, but getting interrupted as richie, fak, and marcus are trying (and failing) to move the lockers out of the space right outside his door.

also, (because of stereotypes in media) when carmy gives his number to the fridge guy, my first thought was “…so that’s gonna come up later.” because it’s easy to have written this scene without the phone number. sometimes a scene requires a number to be given and that’s that. but in this scene, it easily could have been different. so when carmy gives it, i knew we’d hear his number again. especially with how easy the number is to remember. (the classic 5-5-5 in the number. that happens in tv shows so often. someone has 5-5-5 in their phone number)

ok….so….again, i’ve watched this season like 100 times, and i think, I THINK, i understand why they have to open mikey’s locker to move it out? because it’s always confused me. the guys are struggling to open the locker, and they realize they have to open mikey’s locker which has been locked since his death. it’s a nice scene, and shows everyone’s acceptance and growth in the time since mikey has died. especially as richie puts a hand on carmy’s shoulder as carmy takes a moment right before he opens the locker. the tenderness and love between these two since season one is just incredible. but my thought was the stuff in the locker was too heavy making it harder to move? but the only thing in the locker is a hat from an event they worked in 2010. so, i’ve always been confused. the hat couldn’t weigh enough to make them not able to handle the lockers. i thought it was a clumsy way to get us to the emotional moment of finding the hat. BUT now i’m realizing that i think fak needed the locker open so he could get a better grip on his side of the locker and maneuver it easier? is that right? does anyone else actually know?

so syd and carmy go to carmy’s apartment. and in repeated viewings i’ve realized that it IS the same apartment from season one. we’re just getting better shots of it. and now i realize that his apartment is A DREAM! i mean, his kitchen is great, but the rest of his apartment is really nice. i’m legitimately jealous. they did a really nice job in season one (whether intentionally or not) making it look kinda like a shitty apartment. but there’s enough things i recognize in shots of his apartment in season two, that it’s definitely the same apartment.

the way carmy and syd avoid saying “michelin” in conversation, so that the show doesn’t have to pay for the copyright, is just fun. but i also love the two sides of the michelin chef spectrum. carmy who has experienced the shit you have to deal with of having them, and syd who is fresh and wants the recognition that comes with having one. in the light of how many restaurants and chefs are abandoning the michelin system, or are returning their stars, i think it’s a fascinating subtle storyline woven in this season. i’d love to see if it carries on into season three. knowing that it costs so much money to have a michelin star and that only one star has to do with the food.

“i will grant you [mold] has gained some traction in recent media cycles. it’s a buzzword, yeah, for sure.” what an iconic line from richie. as someone who has always been scared of mold….how is mold a recent buzzword? richie is unhinged and i love it.

once again, fak and richie getting their faces closer as richie dares fak to call mom (nat), and fak says he will, and they go back and forth just getting closer…..it has a weird sexual energy with it. i didn’t start this show shipping fak and richie, but i think they’d be cute together…

the scenes of ebra struggling at culinary school honestly break my heart. and tina encouraging ebra in his skills and him shakily saying “yes chef”….😭😭😭

i think it’s interesting that there’s a season long arch where just about everything syd cooks and makes tastes terrible. i think watching the show all at once makes the problem seem bigger than it was meant to be (at least to me), because we’ve been told how good of a chef she is, but we see her cook HER OWN creations and they all suck. it made me wonder how good she really was. which is maybe some of the point, but i think it’s showing that syd is still a chef that’s up and coming and learning. like carmy said last season, she’s very green. carmy is a chef with no end of awards and recognition, but we see him struggle with details and management. syd is inventive and quick on her feet, but we see that when she’s coming up with a recipe she fails a lot first. i think it’s meant to humanize her, or it’s a season arch to show her growth as the season continues.

the weird….dynamic of carmy thinking syd’s mom is alive (because she said “it’s my moms birthday dinner” and has never said “she died” or anything, so it’s an earnest and easy mistake). but when carmy asks her about her mom she just kinda….lies…?

i love the detail of signing “sorry” when something happens to just say “hey, let’s move on. this isn’t a big deal, and i’m sorry” is amazing. i’ve had little codes like that in service industry in the past.

nat’s lil’ monologue while sitting next to the messed up toilet while she’s on the phone with the plumber is great. and i love that she reveals that she’s pregnant (which again, easy to guess), but mostly i love that we’re not fulllllly sure if the plumber is a family friend, or a complete stranger. there’s SOME familiarity here obviously, but we’re not told if it’s enough familiarity for nat’s emotional word vomit or not. and that’s beautiful to me.

the pure comedic GOLD of “these ceilings are practically styrofoam, were we to have mold they would collapse when i go like this-“ hits ceiling. ceiling immediately collapses and proceeds to dump a pound of dirt, dust, and mold onto richie’s face. and then a kickball. and then richie looks up and goes “that’s it?” and a firefighter hat falls and hits his head. ugh. i can’t help but burst out laughing.

the reveal that syd’s mom is dead is so well done. the happy story, the smiles, and then lighting a candle on cake and them blowing it out while holding hands. the realization that what we, the audience, assumed was going to be a tense, awkward meal between two parents who had divorced but still got together to celebrate the moms birthday (for some reason), or maybe even the amicable celebration of a couple that divorced because they realized they weren’t good for each other and are “friendly” with each other. but instead it’s two people very much in love with a woman who has clearly died. ugh. it’s beautiful, it’s funny, and it’s heartbreaking, and it’s SUCH a simple and quick scene.

AND THEN, we move onto this scene at the grocery store. ok. here’s the thing. claire gets a LOT OF SHIT from people. a lot. and some of its fair and some of its not. SO. i’m gonna put my thoughts in their entirety HERE about her, and then when those instances come up in later episodes i might talk about them more in depth.

so, firstly, for the people who loved that the bear was a “sexless” show in season one, or that carmy seemed to be ace, or are carmy and syd shippers, or even those who claimed he was queer coded, there’s not much i can say to make you feel better. other than to say that the balance of work life and personal life is a super important one, especially in a show about a guy who has no personal life so that excel at his work life and has become burnt out by that process. so a romance or a deep relationship of some kind was a good choice for the show, because it brought about a storyline that i think is needed on carmy’s mental, and emotional health journey.

BUT the show trying to deepen that relationship with claire does so by simply “saying” it, and not showing it. which is the eternal issue with writers, especially when you have time, money, budget, and length of movie/tv series to deal with. but in a ten episode season, and this is already the end of the first episode when you introduce her, so you really only get to know her in episode three. that really only gives 8 episodes to know claire. and she’s not in like…3 or 4 of the episodes moving forward. meaning you have to: set up their history, set up how important she is, AND deepen their relationship to a place where we, the audience, are emotionally invested in them, AND when it hurts when they ultimately break up. but with only 4 or 5 episodes to do that, we can’t SEE it happen, we have to be TOLD it happens.

so we are told that carmy had a crush on her, to the point that he would draw her in his notebooks and his whole family knew he liked her, because mikey, richie and…john mulaney…tease him for it in the flashback episode. we are told how much claire likes carmy. we’re mostly told how good their relationship is, instead of seeing how good it is (carmy shows up to the restaurant a few times and says “i was talking with claire when….). we’re also told how close claire was to the fak’s and to richie (claire calls fak to get carmy’s number. she calls richie cousin (the only other person to do that other than mikey and carmy). there’s a lot of their relationship we don’t get to see, and it makes some sense because those scenes would be slower, deeper, and take time. and you only have 30 minutes and 4 or 5 episodes to accomplish this.

which makes the sort of hypocrisies in their relationship just not believable. carmy was obsessed with claire growing up, but when they meet he gives her a fake number so she can’t call him, because he knows she’s looking to date him after they run into each other. and he’s a little slow to open up to her, but finally does and she helps him a lot in his mental health and panic attacks. and on claire’s side, she gets labeled a manic pixie dream girl, which isn’t necessarily unfair, but her less than realized character (her main defining character trait is: i like carmy) is only because we don’t get to see much of her, and she was brought in to be a love interest to carmy. so she’s not fully realized, and her only real trait is liking carmy. plus, carmy is so aloof, and closed off that from a writing standpoint we needed claire to have this manic pixie love and attraction in pursuing carmy, because that was the only way they were going to get together. carmy would never have pursued claire, because he sacrifices his own enjoyment and personal life for cooking. but it doesn’t make sense then, that claire has kind of an obsessive love for carmy from the moment she sees him at the grocery store, and she admits that she liked him in high school, but she never made a move and he didn’t even really know she knew who he was.

these sort of conflicting narratives: carmy is in love with claire, but gives her a fake number when they run into each other as adults (he even forgets her name when we’re introduced); claire is in love with carmy from the beginning of them running into each other as adults (which would hint that she was in love with him when they were young) but never paid him any attention when they were young, BUT was so close to them that she remembered the name of their planned restaurant all these years later…they all could have been made possible and been written in a way that was believable. but not with the time constraints the show had and the other storylines the show focused on. so we are simply told a lot of this, not shown a lot of this. it maybe could have worked if they built claire and carmy’s relationship up this season; a sort of will-they-won’t-they, and then once carmy is sold on the relationship, build that up in season three, for the big collapse at the end of season three. but that would have ruined the season long arch and left carmy without a deep, traumatic emotional arch and more of a rom-com, fluffy arch this season and that’s not really the show’s style.

so, i don’t hate claire. i think she, as a character, wasn’t given the time to breathe and grow and show the audience why we should care about her. i would love if they brought her back for season three, to see her grow and get fleshed out as her own character, especially as a character outside of her love for carmy. but since she broke up with carmy, i don’t see much of a road into the show moving on and it would also make a lot of sense if we never really see her again. even despite her “close” relationship to the fak’s and to richie.

as someone who has had to have the conversation with my parents about my weird working situations, like being paid for a month, but then not being paid for six months even though i’m going to work and working 12 or more hours because i’m starting something…uff, i feel syd’s frustration as she tries to explain it to her dad. and the fact that the budget is paying everyone in the shop except carm, nat, and syd (the bosses) is so fucking good. because that’s how it fucking should be. you pay the people who need it, because you need them to be there when you get back. it’s how you keep workers, especially good ones. bosses and leaders of businesses need to actually sacrifice for the shop and for their workers if they want it to work. plain and simple.

but, we see some of that writing magic i was talking about earlier when carmy gives her a fake number. he told the fridge guy his number earlier, and then he gives claire a different number. we know that he wouldn’t give fridge guy a fake number. so we realize he’s giving claire the fake. that’s why we saw him give the fridge guy his number.

AND that’s the episode! episode two down! it’s a great episode. and it sets up a LOT for the rest of season two. looking forward to episode three!

SEASON ONE: Episode One | Episode Two | Episode Three | Episode Four | Episode Five | Episode Six | Episode Seven | Episode Eight

SEASON TWO: Episode One | Episode Two | Episode Three | Episode Four | Episode Five | Episode Six | Episode Seven | Episode Eight | Episode Nine | Episode Ten

#the bear #comedy #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear tv #sydney adamu #the bear series #richie jerimovich #live blog #live blogging

[nothums-from-tj]

Good morning I’m getting back into PPG lately and I can not BELIEVE the lack of Boomercup content. As I’ve said before: if you want content you gotta make it yourself

I present to you headcanons that only this micro fandom will enjoy if anyone’s left/active still at all bc it is. So dead. Dead enough that I’m revealing myself for a ship my followers don’t even care about again. Combining some 2016 canon with the OG bc there are some gems, like Butters being a math genius and how her insecurities were subtly explored more

I’m also considering them like 16 or so here for sake of high school concepts

- they get closer in high school when Boomer’s had enough with being an edgelord and being associated to Him and Mojo so he goes to Butters first since it’s easier to be in the lighter grey area of morality than to try to jump from one extreme to the next (currently have a WIP going on this concept!! “tbmg” tag on my blog or chapter 1)

- he learns a bit of her past with Ace and he’s downright nauseous over what he did to her (“It was years ago. It’s not important now.” “You were five. It doesn’t matter with the whole hero and villain thing—manipulating a child like that is gross. He’s gotta be, what?—10 years older than us?” “Minimum. It’s not like he actually liked me—he just toyed with me.” “That doesn’t make it any better.”)

- Boomer does all the cheesy pet names when they start dating especially bc he knows it bothers her (she likes it a little, not that she’ll ever tell him that)

- Boomer also once started picking up chess or checkers after having enough of his brothers picking on him so he started learning something to be “smart” so he challenged Buttercup to a match assuming she’d be at or around his skill level

- that said, in actuality she started picking it up years ago out of sheer competitiveness with her kind-of-constant sibling feud with Blossom, eventually coming close enough to stump her for a moment or two more often than not just not quite enough to beat her; he learned this the hard way when she beat him so hard at it he sat in stunned silence for 10 minutes trying to figure out what hit him, then demanded to see a match between her and Blossom

- he thinks it’s kind of really funny how much of a sore loser she is and how differently she behaves from when they were kids, so like instead of screaming and yelling and demanding a rematch like when they were young she’d simply flip the table over or chuck the console remote or whatever at the wall and walk away wordlessly to chill out and the suddenness usually makes him laugh really hard once the initial shock wears off

- Butters’ love language is quality time and physical touch, which it takes a few months or so for Boomer to learn when she starts hanging out with him like all the time and play fights him (light punches, kicks his ankle when they’re sitting next to each other, a soft kick to his shin when she scolds him for something, will sneak up behind him to jump on his back just to startle him, etc) and as they become like inseparable the insults are always paired with smirks and shining eyes and so many more excuses for touching and play fighting

- Boomer’s love language is words of affirmation and acts of service which drives Buttercup insane bc she doesn’t know how to handle either of them, words of affirmation are always combated with insults and she’ll dodge them when and where possible bc “how dare he accidentally pick an insecurity of mine to comment on and make me feel like I don’t deserve to downgrade myself like that” so she’ll look away and shoot the insult to not be vulnerable Or something that she does feel good about and be like “duh?????? I know that already” then neither really know what to do from there; acts of service Buttercup will turn into a competition or see as an insult at first as if she can’t do it herself so when they start dating her sisters have to hold her back sometimes to let her bf do something nice for her and she started understanding by then

- Buttercup is the definition of no rizz and it’s so painfully funny for everyone around her

- “Okay, Boomer.” “I hate you.” “No you don’t.” “Yes I do.” “Prove it.” “Are you asking me to fight you?” “Maybe.” = Buttercup, flirting

- as cliché as it is for these two, she does call him Pretty Boy—originally trying to insult him which he never took it as such anyway, then as a nickname/pet name

- Buttercup is very much a morning cuddler and Boomer never wants to let her go when they wake up together

- after 3 months into just their friendship alone there is no longer such a thing as Buttercup’s hoodies and Boomer’s hoodies, it becomes one collection to the point that later on when dating they’d get each other matching hoodies and both would still end up at one place after losing track of who has what

- Brick and Buttercup have the same advanced/honors math class and it drives Blossom insane that her sister and her counterpart are the math geniuses and she’s not; Brick also tries to play wingman for Boomer and Butters after partnering up with her for some project in said math class

- when the other brothers find out Boomer’s trying to change sides and it means having less interaction/association to their dads they also ask Buttercup to “tutor” them and it makes Boomer jealous to no end (she only has eyes for him though)

- he’s always the first person she contacts after a fight with either Butch or Blossom so she can rant and blow up and then, after arguing with Blossom particularly, he’s always the shoulder she cries on and the first hug she looks for

- both have to learn how to communicate openly and set firm boundaries so they both have to ask the other Puffs to help them with it to prevent arguing and Boomer is so much better at it than Buttercup, who will more often than not still get defensive and Boomer has to set that they need to walk away from the situation so they can chill and then talk and she’s always super pouty abt it but still follows through bc she hates fighting with him

I’ll likely add more later Or if anyone else has any to add on please do <3

#boomercup #boomer x buttercup #buttercup x boomer #ppg color crack #tj shares #it hurts me just how dead the tags are #I feel isolated lowkey #they’ve consumed my entire brain and I have a fic going I’ve gotta talk abt them #so I’m doing that here #💥🌼

[blackrabbittwst]

Don’t Bite the Hand that Feeds You

A/N: So I was talking to a friend about this Facebook post I saw on a Twst FB group:

So I’m actually vegetarian myself and I thought of some funny headcanons for a Leona x vegetarian reader relationship.

Most of them have some dumb side comments from my point of view, as someone who is a vegetarian, but I hope you like my silly crack pairing hcs (and it does get fluffy at the end).

Characters: Leona Kingscholar

Pairings: Leona Kingscholar x Reader

Gender/Pronouns: Gender Neutral

When you both first meet and he calls you “herbivore”, you just stare at him. You don’t know if you should comment that you really are a vegetarian or just let it slide. He might feel a little guilty later about it, but probably not too bothered if you never correct him about it.

The moment you tell him you’re actually vegetarian, he’d give a narrowed eye look to see if you were kidding. The moment he realizes you are indeed not joking, he’d probably ask why you would deny yourself meat when it is literally the best thing in the world and it’s weird. Also he’d be a little disgusted by the food you eat since he hates his veggies so much (maybe you could influence him to eat them a little more with the help of Ruggie kekeke)

If you did tell him it was for either ethical reasons or even religious reasons, he wouldn’t really comment and just shrug. None of it was any of his business anyways so it’s not a big deal. But he wouldn’t be the type to judge either.

Imagine trying to feed him, holding up a fork with some cooked green beans. He would be giving the biggest disgusted face and looking at you as if you were crazy. He’d probably smack the utensil out of his face, much to your sadness. Maybe if you give him big enough puppy eyes, he’ll have ONE bite. ONLY ONE.

While you both chill out on in the court yard, Leona would casually ask, “Hey, are you hungry?” If you reply, “Yeah, I guess I could go for a snack”, he’d give you a smug smile and say “Well there’s some grass right there, herbivore.” Then you will proceed to playfully smack him while he laughs loudly.

He’d comment one day that he made you food for lunch, much to your happiness and suspicion. Leona… making food?? Doing something domestic???? Are you sure it wasn’t Ruggie? You would open the lunch box to see it filled with tree leaves and you would hear him doubling over laughing on the ground. (Throw the box at him, I won’t judge)

He’d constantly be doing small harmless pranks here and there. Like for Valentines Day, giving you flowers and if you mention there are no chocolate he comments that you are supposed to eat the flowers too (go ahead and kick his shin, he deserves it. Chocolate doesn’t even have meat and if you’re not vegan it shouldn’t matter, so rude lol)

He might make those dumb jokes like “Ah, since you’re not eating the cow, I guess I can eat your portion for you, heh” and you’d give him a deadpan look and he’d realize it probably wasn’t that funny.

He’d even offer you a hamburger once or twice just to be snide and then be like “Oh, I guess the herbivore can’t eat this~” (just slap it to the floor and watch him cry at the wasted food)

If you were enjoying watching an animal like a deer roam around, he might say “Oh, those taste pretty good, ya know? They aren’t too gamey” and you would just stare at him with a horrified face. Like… I’m enjoying myself watching this cute creature and you have the audacity to comment to me that this thing taste good?!

Granted if you tell him some jokes are not funny, he’d feel guilty and stop. (Personally me I’ve heard enough of them that sometimes they bother me since they’re a tad insensitive. Like… don’t hate on my diet because I decided to follow something I’m passionate about. But some people just don’t know that, so communication is the key)

He wouldn’t make you change your diet but he also isn’t going to change his diet for you either. So as long as you’re okay with that, you both should be all snazzy.

He might even give you an endearing nickname like bunny or another plant eating animal you might like. (Call him kitten back in a private setting 😂 he’d get upset but I mean it is his s/o so maybe he’ll give you a pass and think it’s cute)

Despite all his teasing, he’d respect your choices and decisions and even try things for you here and there. He’d also consider going places with you having the meal plan already accounted for your diet. So like if you both go to a movie and then eat dinner, he’d make sure if he was making the plans to go to a place with vegetarian options. He likes the determination and passion you have that then shapes how you live your life. It’s something he would feel a tinge of envy even and maybe even get some motivation to try things.

He also wouldn’t allow anyone else to make fun of you for your diet either. The moment a dumb freshie points it out and tries to make a shifty joke, their blood would run cold seeing Leona’s glare.

Let’s be glad his vice housewarden is Ruggie too. He can whip any kind of dish up for you and actually have it taste good when visiting Savanaclaw. (Some people don’t understand that we don’t just eat salads 🙃 i don’t even like salads that much….) I mean he even tries to get Leona to eat his vegetables on a daily basis by cutting them up so small that he can’t see them (he’s probably be thankful if you could get him to eat more veggies too).

Endnote: I might make another post of this one day but I had to get this out of my brain rot head

#disney twst #twst wonderland #blackrabbittwst #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingscholar #twst leona #twisted wonderland leona

[blu-joons]

When He’s Scared That You’ll Leave Him ~ Highlight Reaction

Doojoon:

Your smile was weak as Doojoon finally returned home, much later than you expected him to. An apology came from Doojoon straight away as he sat down beside you, looking at you in panic that you were still awake.

Your hand rested against Doojoon’s thigh as he took a seat down beside you, “why are you looking at me like that? Have I done something wrong?”

“You’re too good,” he commented.

“Me?” You laughed, pointing at yourself. “Where’s that suddenly come from?” You asked, unaware of how guilty Doojoon felt for making you wait for him to arrive.

His smile matched your own as Doojoon spoke, “how do you keep doing this? I’m always late, or not around, it’s not how I should be.”

“You’re busy with work, you know I understand that.”

“Does your patience not run out though?” Doojoon enquired, “do you ever just want to tell me to go away when I keep cancelling on you.”

“Not at all,” you laughed, nudging against his side. “It’s all part of the job of dating you, I’ve kind of got used to it now anyway.”

Doojoon’s eyes narrowed in your direction, “how can you ever get used to being messed around by me as much as this?”

“I guess you just make it worthwhile.”

Yoseob:

As you began the drive home, you couldn’t help but notice that Yoseob wasn’t quite himself. When you pushed him on it, you got nothing, but eventually he began to explain what had upset him through the night.

You smiled sympathetically as Yoseob worried about the attention you got from some of your colleagues. “You’re not jealous of them, are you?”

“It’s not that,” he responded.

“You think they paid much attention to me?” You then suggested, watching as Yoseob’s head nodded. “Don’t tell me you think that they had my attention, please.”

Yoseob’s nervous stare met your own, “they were all so funny and good looking, even I wouldn’t blame you if you dated one of them Y/N.”

“But you’re the one that I’m dating, none of them.”

“I know,” Yoseob whispered, turning to glance out of the window. “I guess they just made me feel a little insecure, like I’m not good enough.”

“That’s nonsense,” you replied, quickly shutting Yoseob down, “I mean they’re nice colleagues, but they can be so irritating Yoseob.”

A faint chuckle came from him as you reassured him, “you’re really telling me that you like me more than all of them?”

“Of course, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

Gikwang:

Your eyes widened in surprise as Gikwang mumbled underneath his breath, concerned that he was taking the stress that he was experiencing at work out on you, fearing how much longer you’d tolerate it.

Your head shook as Gikwang finished, clearing your throat straight away. “Are you kidding me? I want to help you, not get annoyed with you Gikwang.”

“Aren’t I annoying?” He quizzed.

“We all get stressed, it would never give me a reason to leave you,” you chuckled, draping your arm across his shoulders, “you need to talk to me, not worry about me.”

Gikwang’s concerned eyes glanced to where you were beside him, “you’ve taken care of me constantly, doesn’t it start to drive you up the wall?”

“Not when it’s the person you love who needs help.”

“Thank you,” Gikwang whispered, resting his head against the side of yours. “I don’t know what I’d do without you sometimes here with me.”

“Just promise me one thing,” you asked of him, “stop thinking that I’m going to leave, because I’m not, I’m just going to keep supporting you.”

Gikwang nodded as he made his promise to you, “if I start annoying you though, you have to tell me too Y/N.”

“I’ll never get annoyed with you, don’t worry.”

Dongwoon: 

It was understandably hectic as you and Dongwoon prepared to come to the end of packing his belongings for him to head on tour. All evening something that had been up with Dongwoon, eventually spilling.

Your head nodded as Dongwoon voiced his concerns about leaving you and going on tour. “How come you’re worried about me? I’ll be alright by myself.”

“WIll you still be here?” He asked.

“Of course,” you scoffed, almost in disbelief that Dongwoon would ask you such a thing. “You think that I’d leave whilst you’re on the road or something, have you lost your mind?”

Dongwoon’s shoulders shrugged in reply to you, “it crossed my mind, I’m scared you’ll get bored of waiting for me or find someone who can be around.”

“It’s only a couple of weeks, I’ll just be missing you.”

“Really?” Dongwoon quizzed in surprise, feeling your hand rest over the top of his. “You promise that you’ll be here when I get back home Y/N?”

“Of course, I promise,” you chuckled, squeezing against Dongwoon’s hand, “just as long as you promise to miss me whilst you’re on tour.”

Dongwoon’s head nodded instantly back to you, “I know that I’ll be missing you every second whilst I’m gone.”

“And I’ll be missing you just as much too.”

---

Masterlist

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[forays-into-fiction]

Blood That Drives Us

Part 5.

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I’m sorry for what I did, but I’m not sorry I did it

You had called in sick on a few too many of your shifts at family video, any of those that you shared with Steve at least. Since that last shift after your fight, you didn’t think you could handle that again any time soon, but now it had come time to face the music.

The air is thick with tension, when he sees you stepping through the door, bell tinkling above you. You flip over the ‘back in five minutes’ sign before approaching the counter cautiously.

“Hey.” You manage weakly with a slight wince.

“Oh, look who finally decided to show up today?” He snarks back.

“Please, don’t Steve. Please, can we not fight anymore?” You lean against the counter between the two of you.

“Are you ready to admit that you’re wrong about Munson?”

“I’m not wrong.” You state firmly, before sighing “But, I am sorry for how things went down. I know I should have been honest with you from the start, even if it wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“Why are you so set on protecting him, y/n? Where did this come from?”

“Because he needs someone, he’s said he’ll try to come and see the rest of the gang when he’s ready. There’s just something he’s been working on before he can do that, needs to be comfortable with himself. I’m not going to push him to do anything he’s not ready for, but if it makes you feel better, I can make sure you’re one of the first people he sees.”

His eyes narrow and he crosses his arms over his chest as he contemplates what you’ve just said, “The sooner the better, alright? I really do have to see what’s going on for myself.”

You smile softly, grateful that he’s more willing to hear you out now, it seems, “Ok, I get that and you will. I know you’re just trying to look out for everyone, but sometimes you gotta trust that I know what I’m doing.”

“I know… it’s just, you’ve been acting different lately… it’s like there’s something not quite right with you and I think it is because of him. Look, I know I barely know the guy, but I know you and I can’t put my finger on it but something is off.”

“I think you’re just a little on edge and that’s understandable. All the shit that’s happened because of that place, but I promise I haven’t changed. I’m still me and I wanna say Eddie is still Eddie, but you’re right neither of us really knew him before all of this so we aren’t really the best judges on that. Dustin though, he was closest to him, so would you listen to it if it came from him that Eddie is safe?”

“Yeah, yeah that actually makes sense. Ok, fine that’s how we’ll play it.”

“Thank you, you know for listening this time.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. Sorry I lost my shit before, but-”

“I know… So, now that that’s blown over, how ‘bout we get to work and you can catch me up on what’s been going on with you? And no more Munson talk for the rest of the day.” You move to flip the sign back over.

He chuckles and gives you a lopsided grin, “Yeah, ok so get this…”

The two of you fall back into rhythm easily after your little heart-to-heart and when you enter his car at the end of the day, you notice he’s left the radio tuned in to your station. You don’t comment on it like you probably would in other circumstances, but you grin at the realisation that even though the two of you weren’t talking some small part of him was still thinking about you.

When you get to your place you linger at his car, leaning through the open passenger side window.

He looks over to you from his seat, “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah? Half-shift? Taking over from Robin, right?”

You nod, “Yep, you wanna hang out after close?”

“Sure, what you got in mind?”

“How ‘bout another trip to the trailer park?” You giggle.

“Oh, haha very funny, so glad you can make jokes about that now.”

“Honestly doesn’t matter though, we can do whatever, just missed you ya know?”

“Yeah, I missed you too, I had to go almost three whole weeks without one of my best buds.”

You gasp in mock outrage, “’ONE OF’ you take that back I am THE best bud, ok. No offence to like Robin or Dustin, but I’ve been here longer, even saw you through your ‘King Jerkface’ days.”

“I was never that bad to you, though… right?”

You can see the flash of guilt in his eyes, the uncertainty, you reassure him, “No, you were never bad to me… well, you did have your moments, but nothing that bad. Certainly, not as bad as the time you said I was just the ‘nerdy little girl your parents forced you to spend time with at the company Christmas parties’.”

“Oh my God, you’re never going to let me forget that are you? I was like twelve, what do you expect?”

“I’m just teasing, Stevie.” You giggle at him before stepping away from the car and giving him a wave, “Bye.”

He grumbles, “Ugh, see ya. Don’t know why I ever even missed you in the first place.”

“It’s cause ya love me…” You tease.

“Whatever, just get inside already… and don’t forget to talk to Munson, ok?”

“You got it.” You reply giving a mock salute.

He throws an arm over the seat beside him, glancing over his shoulder as he reverses out of your driveway. He gives you a lazy three finger wave before driving off.

Your parents aren’t home yet so you decide to just call from the bottom of the stairs, “Eddie, you here?!”

There’s a pause before the silence is broken, “Yeeaaaah, in your bedroom!”

You grin, practically skipping up the stairs, today was going well in your books. When you get to your room you see him propped up on the floor by your bed, another one of your books in hand, one of his cassettes playing on your radio. The music plays softly in the background and he looks up at you as you enter closing the book around his fingers, shifting into his wingless form.

You take a seat beside him and turning to him you both go to talk at once.

“How was-”

“I’m glad you-”

“You first.” He offers.

“Glad you stuck around, I told you it’d be fine staying the night, last night.”

“How was work? Steve treat you alright this time?” You’re impressed that he’s managing to hold a conversation and maintain his ‘human’ appearance.

“Yeah, yeah, we uh actually made up, I guess. Gonna hang out with him tomorrow night.” Your face begins to drop though, as you remember your promise to Steve.

“That’s good right, why don’t you seem happier about that?”

“It’s uh, complicated. See, we talked about you, obviously and um… Steve wants to see you. I told him you’d been planing on seeing the rest of the gang when you could, but that I wasn’t going to push you to do anything you weren’t ready for. I hope… I hope that’s ok.”

“Of course, that’s ok, but um… I still don’t think I’m ready to see everyone just yet.”

“Eds, that’s totally ok. How about if it was just Steve? I can be there with you if you want, right by your side.”

“You uh, you realise you just called me ‘Eds’, right?”

“Oh, shit sorry… do you um not like that… is it ok if I call you that?”

“No, no it’s fine you can call me whatever… it’s just I’m not really used to it.”

“So, uh what do you say to meeting up with Steve?”

“Oh… do I have to?” He whines.

“I mean you don’t have to. I won’t make you, but look you’ve maintained this whole conversation without the vampire popping out, not once.”

“Really? Shit, I almost didn’t even have to think about it this time.”

“That’s great, I’m so proud of you!” You beam over at him and he preens at your praise.

You continue, “I really think you’ll be alright talking to Steve and I’ll be there if anything goes wrong, ok?”

“If… if you say so then, yeah sure.” He shrugs.

“Perfect, maybe I can invite him over for a movie night after work tomorrow and you can join us. Low impact interaction and if you feel uncomfortable at any point you can hide out in my bedroom, sound good?”

“Yeah, I’ll try… uh, for you.”

You smile brightly and throw your arms around him, “Thanks, Eds. I really am so proud of you for this.”

He stiffens against you, doesn’t know what to do with his arms, they sit frozen by his sides, book falling from his grip his and his psychic mask drops. You jump back feeling his unease, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, it’s fine you just surprised me is all… no one’s hugged me in a long time… not that many people hugged me before, but still.” He shrugs not meeting your eye, flushing bright red against his scars.

You nudge him, “Hey, do you… do you like hugs? Do you want to be hugged?”

He looks at you like you’ve just sprouted a second head, “Well, yeah who doesn’t like hugs?”

“Plenty of people, for all different reasons and it can change depending on the situation too. Like Robin for example, I know she doesn’t like unexpected hugs, it’s like a sensory thing or something. So, with her I just let her initiate the hug. Make sense?”

“Uh yeah, I guess… and I do want hugs by the way, but maybe next time don’t just tackle me. And for sure watch yourself with the horns and the wings and shit, don’t want you to take your eye out.”

You giggle at him, “Sure thing Eds... D’ya want a hug now?”

He looks away again shyly, mumbling, “Um, yeah… yes, please.”

His reaction is so adorable you just wanna burst, you move to wrap your arms around him again but he stops you holding up his hand.

“Wait. Wait a minute. Let me try changing back to, ya know, ‘normal’ me.”

“If that makes you feel more comfortable, sure thing.”

It takes him a second, his face screwed up in concentration before he looks back over at you, his mask back in place, “Is that… did I do it?”

“Yep, come here…” you spread your arms, popping up to rest on your knees facing him.

He slots himself into place in your arms still a little tense, but he relaxes into you when your arms wrap around him. Even though you can’t see them you can feel the joint of his wings on his back as your hands slip under the membrane when they move to encircle him. You pretend you don’t though, no need to make him feel self-conscious and he doesn’t mention it, instead sighing contentedly when you begin rubbing your hands in circles.

You let him pull away first, allowing him to take as much time as he needs, poor guy must be so touch-starved it hurts, you think.

When he does, he gives you a shaky little thanks, sighing yet again.

He looks at you but can’t meet your eye, gaze instead settling somewhere around your nose, mumbling, “I uh, I really needed that. I guess I didn’t even realise how much.”

“Hey, it’s no problem, what are friends for?” You grin at him, “You ever need a hug, you know where to find me.” You give him a playful punch to the shoulder.

“Yep, so… what’re your plans for tonight?”

“Hmmm… dunno, mum already has dinner sorted in the fridge. Probably too late to squeeze in a movie before the parents get home. We could just hang out here listen to your music, you can keep reading…” You trail off.

“Yeah, ok cool.” He picks up the book from the floor beside him and settles back into his original position, flipping through the pages to find his place.

You stand moving to find something to keep you occupied too, deciding on your sketch pad. You lay on your bed flat on your stomach doodling away, humming along to the music. 

You’d been surprised to find that you actually quite liked some of Eddie’s music, you recognised the song playing now as Rainbow in the Dark by Dio, you knew the tape would be finishing soon only one more song left. 

You glance over at him still absorbed in the book, still maintaining his ‘human’ appearance, you grin. When the tape does end you put on another one grabbing it at random from the few sitting beside the radio. It turns out to be another one of his, Iron Maiden, the cover art depicting some sort of zombie.

When you take your seat once again on the bed, leaning back on the pillows this time, he glances up at you opening his mouth as if to say something but then closes it abruptly before returning to his book.

You’re hit with the sudden urge to cuddle up with him, so you decide to speak up, “Hey, Eds I think I need some cuddles now, d’ya think…”

“Oh, for sure absolutely. I was… I was actually going to ask you, but I didn’t wanna seem too needy or whatever.”

“Come up here on the bed.” You pat the space beside you, “If we cuddle up real close, we should fit alright.”

He scrambles to join you, the book hanging loosely in his grip and you shift forward so he can squeeze in behind you. You settle back against his chest and his arm wraps around you shakily, “Is this, ok?” He asks for confirmation.

“Perfect, hey do you think you could read your book aloud to me?”

“Yeah sure, if you want.” He replies mildly surprised.

The combination of his voice and the music crackling through the speakers of your radio is enough to lull you to sleep and you do so, head resting against his shoulder. He carefully extricates himself from underneath you, turning off the radio before turning back to you and covering you best he could with the quilt beneath you not wanting to disturb you too much.

He’s utterly perplexed by your behaviour today, you’d never been this touchy-feely with him before. He’d noticed how flippant you could be with your affection just seeing you around school and the town before but he’d never thought he’d be on the receiving end. A warmth bubbles up in his chest, but he’s quick to quash it back down, remembering his little vampire predicament. He couldn’t let this continue, he was only digging himself into a deeper pit.

You come to in the middle of the night only to find that Eddie has disappeared, you sigh flipping the covers off of you, stripping down and changing into some pyjamas before getting into your bed properly and staring at the ceiling. Had you scared him off, made him uncomfortable somehow, surely, he’d be back tomorrow for movie night, right?

But then you notice a breeze coming through your open window, a plume of smoke coming along with it. You move over to the window, leaning out to see Eddie there, cigarette in hand.

“Hey, I thought you’d left.”

He turns, shifting abruptly to his ‘human’ form, “What are you doing up, go back to bed.”

“Alright, dad.” You remark sarcastically prodding his arm, “Why’re you out here? …oh right ‘cause you’re smoking, duh. Sorry, just woke up not really thinking straight.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m smoking. But also ‘cause when your parents got home one of ‘em came in to check on you, had to hide.”

“Ahh yeah, I didn’t think of that either. Why don’t you come back in when you’re done?” You suggest.

 “Oh, uh… ok. I mean I was planning on staying out here just in case, but…”

A flash of an image of him holding you close, wrapped up under the covers together in your bed passes through your mind bringing with it a warmth to your cheeks.

 “Ummm, maybe… maybe we could cuddle again, help me get back to sleep?” You suggest awkwardly shifting on your feet.

 “I dunno… are you… are you sure you wanna do that? I don’t think we should. What if your parents come to check on you again or…”

 “’S fine if you don’t wanna. Don’t want to make you uncomfortable, just thought it be nice.”

 “It would be nice.” He sighs, “… alright, if you want, we can cuddle. Just a friendly little cuddle.”

 You can’t quite make sense of the feeling that follows when you agree, “Yeah, friendly cuddles.”

 He waves his cigarette “I’ll be in, in a sec just go get comfy.”

You crawl back into bed and he follows not long after.

“So, just like before right?” He asks warily.

“Yep, come here.” You make grabby hands at him and he chuckles.

“Alright, scoot.”

He settles in laying over the covers, rather than getting in bed with you properly. He’s still a little tense at first, but when he does relax his hand comes to stroke at your hair and he hums a tune that sounds vaguely familiar.

It’s nice, but you’re not sure where the idea to cuddle came from, you wouldn’t normally push your luck with him like this. You doze off before you can contemplate it any further.

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Taglist: @boofy1998​ @hellfireclub-86​

#eddie munson fic #vampire!eddie #vampire! eddie munson #eddie x reader #vampire!eddie x reader #vampire!au #post canon #post canon fic #eventual smut #fluff #eddie munson x reader #vampire!eddie munson x reader

[okkotsuus]

tw vent (i’m getting too comfy on here lmao!!)

i so genuinely wish i was conventionally attractive, like i’m attractive once people get to know me i like suddenly become pretty to them. but i wanna be able to be admired from afar. i want to be able to not always have to make the first move. i want to be pretty and skinny and liked. my eyes are uneven, my jawline is uneven, my lips are uneven and i just wish i had the power to sculpt my face like a block of clay. i want to be pretty, but i’m too tall and too big for most men to ever find my attractive on the surface. women like me, and i’m thankful for that because i’m bi. but i’ve never truly solved my need for male validation that stemmed from my parents. as a kid my mom never commented on my physical looks, only how smart i was or my clothes (which she chose) which never let me build self esteem. my dad worked a lot and was like virtually never home, but he’s here now and he’s like my besy friend. my mom was a prettu cheerleader growing up who everyone liked and she loves to talk about how nice she was when she was my age. my brother always made fun of me whenever i ate anything that wasn’t an apple. i grew up as the chubby, ugly, nerdy, weird kid and that image haunts me like a ghost i can never get rid of. i’m too socially anxious to be outgoing and charismatic and i’m not nice enough to strangers to be seen as kind or caring. i’m too weird to be accepted by anyone who doesn’t get to know me. i’m too ugly for people to want to get to know me in most cases. my face isn’t eurocentric other than the fact that i’m pale, my indian nose is too big for my face and i have my dad’s face shape. my rib cage is too wide and i hold onto weight easily no matter how little i eat or how hard i work out. i’m not even funny enough to be liked. everyone i know is better than me, prettier than me, more well liked than me. all i have going for me is that i’m smart but now people just use me for answers or help and sometimes it’s the only reason why people talk to me so i can’t bring myself to deny it. all my friends would never choose me in a room full of people. my mom loves my brother more than me and she always will. i will never be anyone’s first choice except maybe my dad. i just want people to like me, so desperately. i just really can’t do this anymore and i don’t know what to do. my therapist is on leave and i can’t talk to anyone because i can’t stand feeling weak. the only good thing i have going for me is that i’m reliable, and i can’t let that go too. i’m sorry this is dumb i’m being dramatic.

love you all mwah mwah i’ll post something maybe tomorrow 🩵

#dont perceive me #this is a breif moment of weakness #i just cannot any longer #this is why i haven’t rlly posted lol sorry

[starspaceace]

being on vacation with my dad has reminded me why i went a period of time no contact with him like. my brother put it like he’s 50 and like a libertarian which is kinda cringe get a real opinion old man. i’m going to rant because i need to write shit down

i kinda need to rant a bit like. i went no contact for a while over an argument with my brother living with him and him treating my brother like shit while that was happening but honestly i haven’t gone more than a day with my dad since i was 16 because when i was 16 i could just drive myself back to my moms house instead of doing like the weekend visits and getting into arguments every weekend but im on a week vacation with them right now

my stepmom saw that i like don’t shave my legs and wear clothes from the mens section so she’s like ‘well if there’s anything you want to tell us we support you :)’ which is. kinda funny in itself assigned gay by hairy legs but im like ok easy opportunity i guess to go well is this a gender question? they know im gay but this is a different thing im like sure non binary im not like a man but woman isn’t right yknow and she’s like well we support you :) but she i guess she tells my dad? and since that he’s upped like the “well you’re always going to be dad’s little princess” like thats a thing he’s always done (which has been and would still be annoying as someone who still identified really female. my brother doesn’t get that treatment yknow?) but it feels more. bad. also my brother and his girlfriend call me carl as a nickname for carley and my dad was weird about that like ‘her name is carley! tell them to stop calling you carl’ and asked if i would change my name to something else. like. its just a nickname even if i would change my name it wouldn’t be to carl. carl is a fine nickname until im one of them they/thems? there was also some weird comment at one point about how everyone’s bisexual now (which? my brother is just a straight man so its not even like we’re both gay its literally just me) (should’ve picked an easier to nickname name all carley gets is carl sometimes) my brothers girlfriend is with us and put it well like my stepmom just enables my dad. idk

like i told my brother its so hard to misgender me but my dad’s managed to do it somehow. like i know i see myself nonbinary but im short and fat and my voice is feminine so im just going to be perceived female? i still use she/her pronouns so like. whatever. its a thing i’ve accepted about myself but as long as i feel good about myself generally it doesn’t matter. my brother said it didn’t seem like it’s purposefully malicious but its still. something. im not sure what kind of word im looking for it. i think its just disappointing. im just wondering if they’d be like this about me being gay if i actually was like. dating. if i was “/really/“ gay instead of theoretically gay or gone on a date with one girl once gay. but since im like here and queer! im not queer in an acceptable way anymore?

in related issues my dad has like a lot of opinions but like no fucking opinion at all on anything like ? all politicians are corrupt but also socialism is bad (not exact words but like. the gist. food stamps welfare etc etc ) vaguely racist ideas (ie easily deniable, not sure he even realizes the things he’s saying are such) and throwing out weird buzzwords. called the backseat of us in the car millennials when we’re pretty solid gen z (like does he not realize he’s? like 7 years older than the oldest millennial? not far from that man you’re gen x). like if you’re going to be conservative just commit instead of pretending you’re not

my brother has been really great to be with through this experience of dealing with our dad tho in both making fun of his opinions and my gender stuff. making sure he’s not misgendering me (like asked if id rather he said sibling, i think im still ok with sister. or like my pronouns) we’re funny about it tho he said if i changed my name it should be to wolfgang or maybe pull a power move and just change it to his name and we have to fight over it. been making me feel better about everything instead of being bummed out about everything.

anyways my brother was playing our beach playlist we made and he put on one mcr song we put on there and my stepmom was like well carley can have one song but this isn’t my cup of tea but we’ll listen to it for her and i texted my brother like damn i can’t even have my gay song. they also hated on international love by pit bull so maybe they’re just haters. it’s tuesday and we’re here until saturday morning and my dads birthday is tomorrow so here’s hoping to uh. nothing eventful. worst case we drove here seperately and leave :P

#carley talks #anyways! i wanted this written because my memory is shit and i forget about stuff like this sometimes. #there’s been times my mom or my brother will be like remember shitty thing dad did and im like… kinda?but this is me words

[arksiblings]

hiii i wrote this yesterday while i was getting my hair colored & idk how i feel abt it but if i don’t post it i won’t be able to write more so!! enjoy :) based on this post (also maria is jewish; zede is what she calls gerald ((thank you sid & nox <3)))

When Maria struts up to him lugging a giant plastic bucket full of water, Shadow knows he’s in for a stressful time. 

He inclines his head in greeting. “Maria.”

“Hi, Shadow,” she says, grinning widely. The bucket thumps against the ground at her feet and her hands settle victoriously on her hips. She leans towards him conspiratorially. “Guess what?”

He eyes the water warily. With a restrained sigh, he asks, “What?”

There’s a glint in her eyes that Shadow recognizes as trouble. It’s not a common look on Maria, who is mostly known around the base for being the model child. “I’m gonna pull a prank on Zede.” 

He waits patiently for her to continue.

However, Maria requires engagement. She wants to be asked about her master plan. “You’re supposed to ask what the prank is,” she coaxes. 

“Oh.” Shadow straightens up a little as if it would help him seem more interested. He is interested, even if it’s a little hard for him to show as much. “What is the prank?”

“I’m gonna put this,” she nudges the bucket with her foot, “on top of his office door and then when he opens it, he’ll get splashed!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s funny.” There’s no unspoken duh, obviously that indicates she’s annoyed Shadow is making her explain; Maria’s genuine in her answer.

That sounds like a bad idea. Still, he plays along for the sake of her absolute giddiness at doing something so out of character. “How do you plan on reaching the top of the door?” 

“With a ladder, of course.” She makes a move to pick up the bucket again but Shadow beats her to it, so she curtsies in thanks and proceeds down the hallway. “I’ve already set up the ladder. Do you know how hard it is to sneak a ladder around in this place when you can’t even lift it?”

He looks a bit unsettled by her comment, brows furrowed and a frown tugging at his lips. He keeps his eyes on the end of the hall. “Why didn’t you ask me for help? I could have carried it for you.”

Maria shrugs and twirls a strand of hair around her index finger. “I like to do things by myself sometimes. Just to prove that I can.” 

Shadow clicks his tongue at her. “You shouldn’t do that. You could’ve gotten hurt and no one would’ve noticed right away.” 

“But I didn’t get hurt.”

“But you could have.” They turn right down another seemingly endless hall littered with doors, Maria looking down at the tiled floor to step carefully between the cracks. “At least tell me next time so I can be there.”

“Okayyy,” she acquiesces reluctantly, then lowers her voice to mumble, “killjoy.” 

“I heard that.”

Maria giggles, skipping down the hall a ways, skirt flaring out around her as she does a little twirl of excitement. “C’mon, we’re almost there!”

-

Shadow peers up at the ladder leaning against the wall. It’s a good eight feet, much taller than someone like Maria should ever even consider climbing, and his frown deepens. He’s about to voice his concerns when he realizes she’s already three rungs up. Just as determined as her grandfather.

“Is this really necessary?” Exasperation and pleading rolled into one, he grabs both sides of the ladder as it wobbles under Maria’s movements. 

“Yes.” She climbs up another rung, then leans over slightly to open and close her hand at him. “Hand me the bucket.”

No way. “You won’t be able to hold it.” 

Now it’s Maria’s turn to frown. Her hand doesn’t move. He can tell she’s upset by the insinuation that she isn’t strong enough, but he won’t play into her plan if it’s going to result in her being harmed.

For a long moment of silence, neither of them speak. Shadow narrows his eyes. Maria remains unflinching. The standoff feels like it’s going to last an eternity, the world around them silent except for the faint beeping of machinery and gentle hum of the air unit.

Then someone calls her name, her full name, in a stern tone that sends a jolt through her. The ladder shakes as she whips her head to the right and grips the cold metal for dear life, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. 

A scientist with black glasses and chestnut colored curls watches them suspiciously from a few feet away, a clipboard in one hand. “What exactly are you two doing?”

Maria twists to meet Shadow’s gaze, her own shock mirrored back at her in ruby-colored eyes. Their standstill only lasts a moment, though - when Maria hears approaching footsteps, she hops off the ladder (wavering unsteadily on her feet upon landing before Shadow offers her his arm to steady herself), takes his hand tightly in hers, and sprints off down the hallway as fast as her legs can carry her. 

The scientist shouts something after them that Shadow can’t quite make out over the sound of Maria’s laughing. Relief that she hadn’t been able to go through with her plan replaces the concern over getting in trouble - specifically Maria getting in trouble. Her grandfather loves her more than anything, but even he wouldn’t be too pleased at being unexpectedly drenched.

Maria finally slows to a stop after a few twists and turns and shortcuts through offices. Her hands rest on her knees as she catches her breath. Shadow, meanwhile, stands alert, listening for any sound that would indicate they were being pursued. 

“She’s going to take the ladder back into storage, but that’s okay.” Maria sniffs and straightens up to smooth down her skirt, composing herself from troublemaker back to princess. She looks at Shadow sideways. “That was fun anyway, right?”

Fun maybe isn’t the word he would use. Not fully understanding the appeal of her prank in the first place notwithstanding, seeing her up on that ladder was more than enough to remove any semblance of fun from the equation. But at the end of the day, any time with Maria is time well spent.

So he nods once, shortly. “You had fun. So did I.” 

It’s obvious that he’s only saying what he thinks she wants to hear, which is sweet, but she wants to know what he really thinks. Her voice is gentle when she speaks. “If you didn’t have fun, that’s okay, Shadow. I know I worried you with the ladder.”

He seems to be gauging her reaction as he slowly nods again. “Yes, but in the end you were unharmed.” Pensive, he adds, “I didn’t have fun with the prank, but I had fun with you.” 

Smiling fondly, Maria reaches out to pat his head, catching the way he instinctively flinches to duck away before he stills himself. The frequent experiments have done a number on him in regards to being touched, but Maria is Maria. Nothing she does is to hurt him. He allows her to ruffle his fur affectionately. 

“Come on,” she says as she retracts her hand. “Let’s go see what’s for lunch.”

Shadow nods, claiming his rightful place at her side.

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #maria robotnik #ark siblings #fics #those are all the tags i can think of #jess.txt #fic tag #maria #shadow #children of the ark

[sonwar]

i can’t even begin to explain how excited i am for the other parts of the fruitbowls series so !!! can you say something about any of them? it doesn’t have to be a summary of the story, it can be just some detail you really like, or a dynamic you’re enjoying writing or even a scene you’re looking forward to. anything you’re willing to tell about the series really, i’m gonna be more than happy no matter what it is <3

laurie, you’re so wonderful <3<3<3

unfortunately i do not know how to talk about this series without going overboard, so please bear with me <3

The funny thing is that I never, ever planned for tmotp to be as long as it is, but it kept getting away from me, and even before I was done writing it, I knew I wanted to do a part two, because there was one scene in particular I wanted to write but I knew I wouldn’t be able to work it in with the way the fic was going. And then I kept writing some more and some more and I thought “well, as long as I’m doing another part already, why not make another one and have the jegulus as parents part of this series?” And so, the fruitbowls series was born!

Originally, it was only going to be three parts, but then someone left a comment on the fic saying how they’d like to see Sirius reaction once he left James’ apartment and came home to Remus, since Remus and James talked about it a little and I thought hey! That hadn’t occurred to me, but that’s a great idea! And so now it’s four parts.

On Blackberry-Picking: this would be the Sirius one and the one I am actually nervous about! I think I can do the sibling dynamics between Reg and Sirius well because I’ve obsessed over it so much and because siblings I get, you know? On the other hand, I feel like Sirius and Remus have such distinctive voices and a very particular dynamic and I’m worried about not being able to nail it well, or at least not being satisfied with it. I also have to keep reminding myself not to show bias between Sirius and Reg, because boy oh boy do I have opinions about their arguments.

On From the Apple-Orchard: *drum roll* this would be the parent jegulus part of the series! But actually, what I’m most excited about is being able to get into this sort of nebulous, wild, hedge witch sort of magic. I’ll try not to spoil it for you, but think tree roots and dirt and blood. Spooky! I’m also really excited to get to do this concept of Harry being made up more of magic than flesh and blood and how that might alter him as a character. There’s a scene that relates to this that I’m excited about where James is talking to someone (I haven’t decided yet, sometimes it’s Sirius, sometimes it’s Lily) while Regulus watches them from afar, except he’s really watching Harry, because he worries about him. There’s a line in that scene that I’m still working and tuning but that I hope I’ll be really happy with once I get it right: “Harry’s blood might be more magic than iron and rust.”

#fic: tmotp #fruitbowls series #rowan’s inbox #sorry about the longwinded answer no one ever taught me to shut up #also laurie you’re so wonderful thank you for your ask and for being excited for this series <3 i’m gonna push myself to write just for you #laurie tag

[superblysubpar]

Hi babe! I need to talk to someone who don’t know about this situation ‘cause I’m going CRAZY; I have a crush for one of my friend, I’ve liked him for three years (I know I’m embarrassing), in 2020 we had a period where we dated, but at some point he broken up with me because he didn’t like me anymore. At the begging I was not bothered with this, but then after new year, I became very sad, and depressed, I had a very dark period, when I was as hanging out with my friend the most of the time I didn’t speak, I was so angry with myself, and I blamed myself for what happened because finally I had found someone who likes me, and then, maybe for my temper (I have trust issues, at the begging I’m a little cold) he left me. At some point I stopped drinking alcohol because when I became drunk, I locked me in the bathroom for crying, or for throwing up and sometimes I called him a piece of shit 😃 he was always there because we have the same friend.

BUT, I noticed that recently when I make a joke he laughs A LOT, he’s the only one who laughs at something it’s not so funny, maybe I do a sarcastic comment under my breath and he laughs!!!! And when he does obviously I laugh too and I look at him and he looks at me, and this beautiful thing happens where both of us laugh and we look at each other, last week it happened and I wanted TO DIE, we almost fell out of chairs I’m not joking. (The same night he gifted me some Harry Potter’s stuff he found in a sort of chocolate egg ‘cause I didn’t have it and he had them double)

I don’t feel the same love I did three years ago, but when this things happen I want to punch myself because I know that maybe he just trying to be friendly, he want to be my friend (and I want too) so I have to wake up and go on, but I can’t, today he texted me for asking a thing about the city I live, and then he asked me how I was and then he told me he was good too except for the hot weather, I was like a kid in the candy store but I kept telling my self that he was just being friendly he doesn’t care about me 😭😭😭😭

Sorry for this looong ramble, but I have to tell to someone to see if I’m the one who sees things and you look like a really good and sweet person, sorry if I took your time 💛

-🍝 (I’m the Italian one who go crazy for Jo’s hands😇)

Aww babe 💛 so to be fully transparent, I'm totally not a relationship advice person in terms of knowing how dating is going today / or having been with multiple people. I had two boyfriends growing up (one who was actual literal garbage in the form of a human flesh, but that's a different story) and then my now husband who I've been with for almost 12 years.

All I can say is something I've learned with being with him for so long. We were friends first and that I think is always the most important thing to me. He's my best friend, and I still wanna tell him everything & that totally stems from the friendship we formed before dating. But what I've learned through that friendship and our relationship is just communication 💛

If you're confused about your title/what this is - ask him. If you wanna put your heart out there - do it. Whatever happens, then you know and you're not left with questions and what ifs and it's all out there - for both of you to know. Sure, it could end up ruining what you have or make things messier, but then in my opinion it wasn't meant to be and you don't have to spend more energy wondering. It of course wouldn't be all perfect and feeling good right away, but I promise you that a future you will be happy you communicated how you were feeling.

Also, I think for your particular situation, it would be really beneficial to talk about how things went down and what's happened since if you never had those kind of chats before. It sounds like you went through a lot together as well as personally and talking it out is always beneficial in my opinion 💛

Also! Even if he's just a friend, then you have a really great friend you can not only laugh with, but have these cool and meaningful convos with, you know?

I really hope this helped! 💛

- XOXO Gossip Girl Taylor

#taylor's asks 💋 #💌 dear taylor #🍝 Italian Babe

[vulpiximisa]

my horimiya review

So once again I wasn’t super huge on the main couple. Not because they’re them but because I didn’t really care for them as characters to begin with. (my simpin ass only came for soft ucchi in romance setting and I got it so)

The whole “different side of them”/other persona thing was never really a thing I was interested in/

relate to. I don’t really see how Hori differed too much from her school life vs home but I don’t know why Miyamura even put on the appearance he did early on. Depression something something iunno

Like he let his hair down to cover the piercings but why also the glasses. And it wasn’t like he was trying to hide his “other look” from hori when she first saw him because he doesn’t pretend to be someone else and straight up tells her who he is.

Maybe I just don’t like how a person can be so drastically different but maybe it’s (again) japans social norms that really make it a big problem for them. Which I will never understand because I like to be true to myself, can’t relate. (YamaDai’s character in particular, how does that even work, why does he even have a different persona)

Back to HoriMiya as a couple, they’re fine. I think they’re trying to push for the “she wears the pants” thing and it’s okay and I don’t know if I don’t watch enough romances where this is actually refreshing or what.

What I don’t like is the sometimes gay jokes at Miyamura. Like I can’t tell if they’re being funny by being homophobic (joking about ishimiya) or it’s supposed to be an attempt at bi rep (miya brushing off the comment about them dating by downplaying himself), I highly doubt it’s the latter.

I honestly thought the ex bully was a closeted homophobe that’s why he hated Miyamura (the whole stuck in a closet dream sequence) and maybe that’s what they were going for but I wish they had more scenes of them actually getting closer after the cake shop scene. The next ep just had Hori saying they were too close. (WHEN???) So I can see they might be trying to do some lgbt thing (also with tiny hori fangirl whats her name) but none of it feels like it’s supposed to be serious. If maybe they had at least one lgbt couple that doesn’t involve horimiya maybe it’d be something.

Maybe I’m just mad because I was rooting for Sakura. I have a soft spot for the kind soft hearted megane girls and IshiYuki felt sooooo pair the spares in that friend group. I’m glad they did something a little different by not having them Out Right Date but it’s still end game.

Uhhhh my take away was the male friendships (miya and ishi are too sweet together) and sometimes the doki doki romance scenes that I am not immune to. Also OnoDaddy was fun and I liked the hori family claiming Miyamura. The show was funny enough that I wasn’t bored.

Actually thinking about it, I dislike all the couples in the show 🤣 I don’t hate the SengokiRemi couple I just hate Remi XP

#pixi watches anime #re horimiya #sorry to the fans that find this I don’t feel like blocking the words #this is written past my bed time so maybe it’s nonsense #not me also planning a tskhn au of this at the same time

[livingdiarrhea]

If I do something problematic, please tell me privately and give me like a day or two before making it a public thing <33

Current obsession(s): take a wild guess (it’s good omens)

Other things I reblog: cat memes, funny memes, and other shows, even though I’m not obsessed with them anymore.

About my obsessions

They change about every week to a couple of weeks, with the most intense being months (although the intensity will level out) They’re pretty intense (in my opinion) and take up a LOT of the little brain space I have (which becomes a bit of an issue…sometimes a major issue haha). I don’t call everything I enjoy an obsession, for example, I currently do not have an obsession with art, although I do it frequently, and i do occasionally pick back up an obsession with art and then drop it. For me to classify it as an “obsession” I have to be watching a lot of media with said thing, (it’s usually almost exclusively media about my obsession) and I have to be thinking about it relatively often in my free time. Obsession has a very specific meaning when I use it, it’s kind of like a hyperfixation, although, in my understanding, that is a neurodivergent-specific term and probably a different thing, so unless I’m diagnosed with anything, obsession it remains. They usually happen the worst/most all consuming when I’m in a bad mental state, or have a lot of free time, though it doesn’t necessarily have to be either of those two. I’m trying to figure myself out a little more, and I find putting a cute nice little term on my obsessions helps me get a bit more of an identity I guess. I didn’t realize there was a pattern until I met my friend with hyperfixations, and then I realized I’ve had a similar thing. It’s gotten more intense throughout the years. It can be animals/pets(birds, Guinea pigs, rats, dogs, cats), shows, activities/hobbies(puppetry, drawing), movies(although that’s less common), oc story ideas, “subjects”(psychology, ASL), games (dnd), almost anything, really.

Little intro

Hey. It’s me. I’m a minor. [she/her]. Refer to me by my username. This blog is just about me and my ever changing obsessions. I’ll be mostly reblogging, but maybe you’ll enjoy a little nugget of art or text posts occasionally.

I copy and change speaking mannerisms pretty quickly (in my opinion), so be aware of that! I’m not trying to sound like someone I’m not, I swear it’s mostly subconscious!

Slight tmi here:

I won’t straight up vent on here, but know that I kind of exaggerate my problems. I’m also sort of ‘attention seeking’, but I try to make sure I’m not being problematic. If I randomly delete my blog, it’s probably because I’ve realized I’m cringey and now I want to erase my cringey tracks. It happens every couple of months, unfortunately, I’m a very cringey person. I’m hoping it’s not a big deal on tumblr.

TMI ends.

Unnecessary About me: I’m Indian (parents from India), cis but not het, born, raised, and live in the U.S., neurotypical (as far as I’m aware), I like art, writing, and music, although I’m mostly interested in art, I’ve been in a lot of fandoms.

DNIs

I’ll block you myself if need be, don’t make any sexual comments towards me, though (this should be a given.)

Sorry if I interacted with you and didn’t read your dnis, I reblog things very quickly, I try to remember to look at them when I can! Feel free to block me if you get angry or upset with me, it’s there for a reason(not mean)!

#living diarrhea