#sorry for all the caps

[purrvaire]

you're laughing. stede bonnet begged edward teach to come back to him from the brink of death and HE DID and you're laughing. they held hands and you're laughing. what the fuck guys i might never recover

#what and i cannot stress this enough the fuck #IM BEING INSANE OVER HERE #GAY PEOPLE ARE OUT OF THEIR MINDS THEY MUST BE STOPPED #like i want to say so many things about the episodes #WHICH ARE BRILLIANT BTW #BUT I THREW MY TABLET ACROSS THE ROOM AND IM PACINGAROUND LIKE A CAGED ANIMAL #BECAUSE OF THIS #LIKE HELLO #ED CHOSE TO LIVE BC OF STEDE I NEED TO JUMP FROM THE BALCONY #sorry for all the caps #im clearly unwell #ofmd season 2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #blackbonnet #blackbeard #edward teach #stede bonnet #2.03 #lidia speaks #user purrvaire

[sleepinginmygrave]

hellooo i saw your reblog about not being scared to interact so here i am!!

your blog itches my brain just right 😭😭 im an ocean lover as well and i really like the light dreamy aesthetic you have!!! its such a vibe ngl

im not that good at starting conversations, so maybe something simple??

i saw you like jellyfish! what are some other sea animals you like? i like siphonophores, all types of whales and sharks, and anything that lives in the deep sea!!

HI HI HELLO HJHHHHHK I'M SO SO HONOURED BECAUSE YOU'RE BLOG IS JUST URGHHH SO SO COOL AND AMAZING I LOVE LOVE LOVE THE OCEAN AND YOUR THEME IS AMAZINGGG

YESS I LOVE LOVE JELLYFISHES SO MUCH!!!!! I'M JELLYFISH ALTER HUMAN :DD (not sure what exactly) AND OTHER SEA ANIMALS I LOVE THEM ALL SO SO SO MUCH BUT WHALE SHARKS AAAAA LOVE LOVE THEM AND ALL WHALES AND SHARKS (MOSTLY WHALE SHARKS THO I THINK I'M ALSO SOMETHING ALTER HUMAN RELATED TO THEM) AND FISHES!!!! LOVE LOVE FISHES AND STARFISH AND ALL MARINE ANIMALS :DDDDD i love all animals really not only marine one i'm obsessing over cows horses (all farm animals tbh) and african wild dogs rn :DD

#YOU NEED A TAG #PLEASE TELL ME YOUR FAV EMOJIS #ask #moi #SORRY FOR ALL THE CAPS #I'M EXCITED

[no1islost]

I’m SCREAMING!

Okay, so MONTHS ago I picked up Vol.1 of Mother of Madness, the comic by Emilia Clarke. Barnes and Noble had the hardcover edition and it was sealed in plastic. It caught my eye when I was searching for Saga. I had forgotten that she wrote a comic and remembered that I wanted to check it out! So I got it, but it has sat on my bookshelf forever, still sealed. I just decided to crack it open to start reading before bed.

The second page IS SIGNED BY EMILIA CLARKE. Like in actual sharpie. 🥹😭 I’m SHOOK. This whole time I had no clue LOL. I thought ‘exclusive edition’ just meant it was hard cover 😅.

#sorry for all the caps #but i’m so happy #such a fun surprise #emilia clarke #mother of madness #comics

[astronomodome]

CAFFEINATED ☕️😵 ANIMATED 😼 REDSTONE INNOVATOR ⚙️✨ MY BEHAVIOR’S CRAZY 😜 🧍‍♂️ CAN’T FAZE ME ❌🤷‍♂️ IMPULSE IS NEVER LAZY 💤 TANGO WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME 😢🥺 NOW MY SCOPE 🔫 IS AIMING 💥 YOU BETTER RUN 🏃‍♂️ FOR COVER FROM ALL THE GHAST 👻 BALLS ⚽️ 🏈🏀 THAT I BE TAMING 😉😏 WITHOUT A SOUND 🔕🤫 WITHOUT NO HESITATION ❌ MY CREATIONS 🤖 ARE AMAZING 🤩 BETTER WATCH YOUR STEP 🪜 OR THE G-TEAM 🦜WILL WIND UP BLAZING 🥵 🔥🔥 WHO’S THE BETTER TEAM ⁉️🤨 THERE IS NO CONTROVERSY 🕴️BUT BEFORE ALL’S SAID AND DONE ✅ Y’ALL’LL BE BEGGING US FOR MERCY 😈😈😈

#sorry. #all caps #hermitcraft #impulsesv #hermitgang #sillyposting

[iwannabeacatb0y]

BATMAN IN MINECRAFT???

AND IT WAS NOXCREW I THOUGHT THOSE TEXTURES WERE FAMILIAR

#minecraft live posting #sorry for all the caps

[pastelhooman]

[WVW Exchange Event 2023!]

"The kisses on your lash, your ears, on the nose that keeps scrunching. The kisses on your hand, on your cheeks, and the exchanging soft words waiting for the break of day."

----- ID under break -----

A total of 6 pages of comics, starting with a close up shots of vash kissing sleeping wolfwood's nose, eyes, lashes, and he furrows them a bit. an overhead shot of the two of them in a motel room, on the bed with vash leaning over wolfwood from the left, laying soft kisses on him. their legs tangled. their normal outfits are thrown haphazardly on the floor, instead donning comfortable clothes. on the outside, the very first ray of lights are yet to shine.

"what a face you're making pfft" - vash says as he grabs both of wolfwood's cheeks, squeezing them a bit. wolfwood mumbles, "There's something that keeps landing on my face, it tickles." he grabs the hand that is on his right cheek. "Well you're letting it happens anyways right?" Vash muses, bringing the hand up to kiss on its knuckles. "Good morning Wolfwood. It's almost dawn"

"… Isn't it way too soon?" - wolfwood asks, but keeps to himself the prayers he's sending to god because the the boy on top of him was such a sight to behold. Vash flops down onto him, leaving the hand hanging and lace his own hand into Wolfwood's hair, peppering kisses to the side of his face. "Yep" - he answers - "But you woke up on your own tho" - facetiously. He giggles, saying that it was a joke after a beat of silence. A sigh, "don't make me upside you first thing in the morning." Wolfwood closes his eyes, hand combing through golden strands. "Heh, how merciful~" "We have a meet up with Milly and Meryl today, remember?" Vash reminds him, which does raise some vague memory. wolfwood hums, the other hand reaching around vash's torso, hugging him. " So, the sooner we arrive, the less likely she'll chew through my head." - Vash adds. "riiiight. And you were SO urgent in waking me up." in wolfwood's hold, both of them slowly turn to the right, towards the edge of the bed.

Well, you were just soooo cute, I couldn't help it! didn't thinkk you'll actually wakE UAA-!"

the bed creaks under the sudden shift in weight as wolfwood tosses vash over and under him, arms firmly hugging him, one at his back and one at his head, hungrily dives down to kiss. "!! Wolf-! Wait-!" Vash yelps, leg instinctively curls around the other's man hip to hang on, trying his damnest to grip on his shirt as HE is now half airborne, barely has any contact with the bed on his upper body. However, wolfwood seems to have another idea as he keeps deepening the kiss, pointedly holding Vash close, hands spread guarding the back of his head as both of them are sliding off the soft fabric.

"THUD!" a resounding fall, possibly enough to wake the room downstairs, followed shortly by laboured breaths amist wet smacks of lips. Heaves and huffs of air exchanging between the two bodies when the need to breath made itself necessary. They press close, cradling each other, and are lost to their own world. After a while they had to part. Metal arm shifts through black locks, caressing down to his nape and they hold eye contacts there, with lidded eyes, strands of saliva thins then breaks.

Wolfwood pushes up on his arms, looking smugly down at his now disheveled partner: "Now this is how it's done, Needlenoggin." he remarks. Vash tries to wrangle his thoughts back in order, but strings of Wolfwood's name and a wonderous question keeps filling his mind, of whether he should risk it all and have fun for a bit more. Regardless, snapping out of his trance, Vash sourly asks, with a wry smile and an aching head: "But did you really need to roll off the bed?" "Wrong side, whoops" - Wolfwood anwers unseriously, laughing as he finds the situation quite amusing.

----- End of ID -----

#sorry if the ID is weird it happens everytime i tried to ID my comics it turned into psuedo-fics- #the cap is the prompt btw #the exchange is basically secret santa except it was in may lol #it was incredibly fun to work on this!! #and originally i drafted this to be like 4 pages and it got longer and l o n g e r and i was like oh no #all is good i made the deadline dont worry #yeah only some ten minutes left before it was overdue lol #oh and the event was last month i just procrastinated and didnt post it on anywhere except fb mb #half the reason was because i do NOT know how to ID and half way through it was feeling like writing a fic and that took. time #didn't help that i started writing when i was very sleepy and basically forgot about it for weeks #wElL aNyWAys #hope you enjoy this <3 #i really really love the prompts that i was given there were 3 in total but i only did one #they were all superb #vashwood #woodvash #wvw #vwv #wv #vw #trimax #trigun #trigun maximum #trigun manga #vash the stampede #vash trimax #wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #wolfwood trimax #wvw exchange event 2023

[whatsitzface]

The way Annabeth was thinking so far ahead of Percy that Percy was confused. The way she refused to elaborate on anything, and then was like; 'I'm surrounded by idiots' whenever someone (Percy) didn't understand her. The way she looked so smug after she pushed Percy into the water and he got claimed. THE WAY SHE WAS SO BLUNT!!!!! ("ARE YOU STALKING ME??" "yeah lol")

Sorry, but that's the most accurate Annabeth in the world holy smokes Leah did such a good job. All my forgotten love for Annabeth's character that I felt while reading the books just crashed into me full force and I'm frothing at the mouth with obsession.

“-You’re gonna expect me to know how to do something I don’t know how to do, and I end up falling flat on my face, I- I can’t really have that right now.” “You still don’t get where you fit into all of this, do you?” SHE’S TALKING ABOUT THE PROPHECY AND HOW SHE KNOWS HE'S A POSIEDON KID, BUT SHE HIDES IT AS HOW HE DOESN’T KNOW HIS PLACE IN THE CAPTURE THE FLAG GAME!!!! BECAUSE SHE WON’T TELL HIM!!!! AND ITS EPIC BECAUSE IN THE CAPTURE THE FLAG GAME HE DOES FALL FLAT ON HIS FACE, BUT IN THE PROPHECY HE DOES GET HIS DAD TO SEE HIM!!!! And then she fixes his armor plate, making sure that its secure. Making sure he won't get hurt. That's not part of her plan, and things always go according to her plan. She's the game master. IM SCREAMING

#just posting some of my thoughts because I haven't seen anyone else going feral over annabeths portrayal yet #she was by far my favourite part holy shit idk what crack leah laced in her characterization but I am so addicted #HER SMUGNESS #HER APOLOGETIC LOOK BEFORE PUSHING PERCY INTO THE WATER #NO SOCIAL SKILLS - ALL BLUNT ANSWERS AND LAME ASS JOKES #shes just skipping under the invisibility cap #meandering after Percy as Clarrise beats him up #whistling out of tune while vaugely wondering how she'll get Percy to let her join his quest after this #im sorry but i am so crazy about her portrayal holy smoking Hephaestus someone help me #pjo+ #percy jackon and the olympians #silly mispelled trending tag #percy jackson #annabeth chase

[masterofiodine]

capvers doodles yay

#it's a combination of 1940s and modern au #havers definitely took up photography you can't convince me otherwise #they are going birdwatching with cap and then at home they go through all the photos of birds havers took #cap is teaching him their names #and yes they have a cat #the bottom left is inspired by fic where they were preparing new years eve celebration and cap brought these really awful hats #(i dont remember in which one it was sorry) #caphavers #capvers #bbc ghosts #ghosts bbc #the captain #lieutenant havers #anthony havers #bbc ghosts modern au

[yallemagne]

why does sleepwalking women and gothic horror go hand in hand

You asking me?

The answer is voyeurism.

Here's the thing about gendered horror: the goddamn eroticism. You can't escape it, people want to get their rocks off even when they're terrified-- especially when they're terrified! It's such popular imagery because of the intimacy of a woman with all her hair let down in only a white nightgown highlighted by the pale moonlight. A nightgown is very innocent in its intimacy, there's nothing inherently sexual about it, but that just gets people even more horny! No structured garments underneath-- she's wearing breeches obviously but shhh no she's totally naked save for some sheer billowing fabric.

EDIT: oh my god blah blah blah "breeches! actually she wouldn't be wearing those!! oh my god, they got it wrong, just shoot them in the streets, your honour!" FINE SHE'S NOT WEARING ANY PANTIES UNDER THERE, GOOD FOR YOU YOU GOT ME.

Gasp! Unprotected purity! I sure hope no dastardly villain tarnishes this woman! (they do. they do hope for that actually)

This isn't a very fun answer, is it? But it's worth saying. Horror explicitly involving women tends to be very visual with plenty of (arguably) sexual imagery. Men get the mindboggling horrors inconceivable to the human psyche while women are limited to being eye candy who faint before their minds can even be boggled (no that isn't a euphemism). Even when the women in question previously had a larger role in the story than "sexy lamp", pop culture will be quick to reframe it in the way that has the most sex appeal.

But like... let's take the woman's perspective: you're in a state of undress and completely unaware of your surroundings. It's dark and anyone lurking around at this time might very well have bad intentions, and they might turn those bad intentions on you. And you'll be blamed for being in the wrong place, at the wrong time, in the wrong dress. Terrifying. And people don't really appreciate the terror of it because... it's pretty, isn't it?

But then Lucy is weeping in her sleep, and Mina is covering her feet in mud for propriety. Because who knows what a man will do to them if he sees her naked feet? They're both cowering in fear hoping a drunken man doesn't take notice of them. Because who knows what he'll do to them if he sees two young ladies out at night? They're sweating from not just exertion but stress, and their messy hair clings to their frightened faces. They cannot tell anyone. Because who knows what toll this night might take on their good reputations?

It's not pretty. There's no see-through dresses (seriously their nightgowns are made of fucking linen, not organza), no flowing locks, no full faces of makeup, just pure society-ingrained horror.

But cis men don't typically understand that horror because they aren't usually victim to it. It honestly makes me sad and angry that the imagery is so prominent (and in such a watered-down and bland "sexy" way) because it reduces the actual horror these two protagonists face to nothing more than an audience's voyeuristic fantasy in which the women are only objects to be gawked at. The danger is reframed as tantalizing and enticing "ooo good girls (unknowingly) being bad in their sleep!" rather than... they could have fucking died. Or worse.

... But I still want to draw my girls (Jonathan, Mina, and Lucy) in cute nightgowns, so I'll bite my tongue.

#update #people ask me things #you definitely wanted like a funny or sexy response out of me sorry #I've been having tiddy nightmares so I cannot enjoy the 'sleepwalking in nothing but a nightgown' imagery #dracula #dracula daily #mina murray #lucy westenra #all caps #gabrielisdead

[ineffectualbookseller]

The way Azirphale is underestimated and practically infantalized by heaven is so closely tied to his femininity and I think we should talk about it more because I just want to shout about how relatable the way he's treated in his workplace is as a woman working in a traditionally male field

It's in all the little niggling comments from your boss about personal things that hold no bearing on your work

and the assumption that what you're doing must be simple if it was assigned to you

your work is trivialized

and you get these the placating smiles when you're told plans and proposals are rejected and passed over

or when your complaints are dismissed

and you get more of the same from upper management

it all feels so frustrating and draining but you're at work so all you can do is take a breathe put on that mask and move on with your day

It is all so deteimental to your emotional well being and textually, so much of this is tied to Aziraphale's softness, his gayness - his femininity

The thing about working in an environment and gives you this feeling - of being simultaneously destrought watching your belief in yourself get chipped away but also just so irate becuase you know you don't deserve it - is how it builds. It sinks under your skin and feeds into this indignant dejection until you can have a moment of release - but Azirphale doesn't get to bitch about it over drinks with friends, he doesn't get a lunch break where he can go for a walk and listen to an angry scandi death metal playlist, he doesn't even get the chance to cry about it in the bathroom for 5 minutes before confronting it again

(And I talked a little bit about it in the tags of this beautiful photoset but this all comes into play whenever Crowley dismisses his plans or calls him an idiot. These are purely emotional reactions; I really don't think Crowley means much by it - he respects Aziraphale's opinion and genuinely thinks he's brilliant - but Crowley is so quick to use this terminology when Aziraphale is making a decision Crowley thinks is wrong and he doesn't know how much this hurts Aziraphale. Just like Aziraphale doesn't understand the true impact the Fall had on Crowley, Crowley doesn't understand the ways heaven has been tearing away at Aziraphale's self worth)

Aziraphale has been facing this constant drip of denigration since before the beginning of time and has never released the pressure valve. At this point, he's a bomb waiting to go off

#(I want to note that I am coming at this from my personal experience as a woman #but I know femme neurodivergent and disabled folks of all genders face these same issues) #along similar lines I have tons of feelings about how often Aziraphale hides his hands when talking to other angels #to hide his stimming #and look I try not to tie everything back to explaning why Aziraphale ended s2 the way he did but apparently I can't #its just the juiciest character moment to me #also thinking about how angry Crowley was at Gabriel when he was treated like this once #granted shut up and die already IS the worst thing Gabriel has said to Aziraphale but if Crowley knew how much of this was going on... #aziraphale #good omens #go2 spoilers #good omens meta #Thanks to folks who responded to my tags on that post because you really motivated me to find these screen caps #and finish this post which has been sitting in my drafts for ages #also sorry so many of gabriels faces are funny I cant help that jon hamm is comedy gold - i refuse to let it undermine my point

[holderof-cats]

HAHAJHAHJAHA GUYS IF HOYO SHIPS AVENTIO TOO KSKAHAHAHA IMAGINE WE GET ACTUALLY SOFT RATIO IN 2.2 AFTER AVENTURINE WAKES UP BAWHAHAHAHA

#sorry for the all caps but #you can't deny the possibility #i'm not delusional enough to think we'll get actual hugs and kiss scenes #but even ratio fondly saying aventurine's name and being soft is enough for my hungry ass #i can definitely see him atleast be relieved in canon #aventio #ratiorine #aventurine #honkai star rail #dr ratio #hsr #raturine

[mecchantheotaku]

Also since no one else posted the best part of that image

LOOK HER

LOOK MY WAIFU

SHE'S NOT ONLY STRONG AND COOL SHES ALSO A GREAT VIOLINIST

I LOVE HER

#slay the princess #sorry i got a bit carried away i just love adversary okay #all caps #sorry for forgetting to tag that #i was too carried away

[slayhamkennedy]

Stewy Hosseini + failed Sims 4 romantic interactions

#ignore the fact all the caps are from s1 he was just at his most pathetic in that season #flood warning #succession #stewy hosseini #kendall roy #kenstewy #kenstew #this is so dumb im sorry sjdghslhglshlkghskdg

[palms-upturned]

YEAH AND ITS LIKE KIM IS THIS WISH FULFILLMENT FANTASY FOR SUICIDAL PEOPLE RIGHT, LIKE HE MEETS YOU AT THE EXACT MOMENT THAT YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO REBOOT YOUR WHOLE LIFE, HE DOESN’T KNOW YOUR PAST OR HAVE ANY PRIOR OPINION OF YOU, HE ONLY GETS TO KNOW THE VERSION OF HARRY THAT YOU’RE TRYING TO RESHAPE AS THE PLAYER. AND HE HOLDS YOU ACCOUNTABLE WITHOUT BEING JUDGMENTAL, AND HE’S KIND AND PATIENT AND EVEN GENUINELY LIKES YOU AND YOUR COMPANY! HE’S LIKE A PILLAR OF STRENGTH AND THE MOMENT YOU LAY EYES ON HIM YOU JUST KNOW THAT HE WOULD LITERALLY DIE TO PROTECT YOU. HE’S JUST SOMEONE WHO YOU FEEL SUPER SAFE WITH IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD, YOU KNOW? SO PART OF THAT HALO IMAGERY IS A REFLECTION OF THAT, LIKE YEAH HARRY HAS A HABIT OF IDEALIZING PEOPLE AND ITS BAD BUT ALSO KIM DOES REPRESENT AN IDEAL TO THE PLAYER. WHAT’S HOLY ABOUT HIM IS THAT IDEAL OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SUPPORT. AND ON TOP OF THAT KIM’S HALO HAS THAT SORT OF DOUBLE MEANING OF A SUNRISE. HARRY IS FIXATED ON THE IDEA OF A SUNSET AND HIS LIFE COMING TO AN END BUT KIM TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO THE SUNRISE INSTEAD. THATS WHAT THAT HALO BEHIND KIM REALLY IS. THE SOUND OF THE KINEEMA AND KIM’S ARRIVAL IN HIS LIFE IS WHAT WAKES HARRY FROM HIS BLACKOUT BUT THE INFERNAL ENGINE ISN’T THE KINEEMA, IT’S HARRY! WAKING UP EVERY DAY JUST TO DO IT ALL AGAIN! AGAIN! GETTING WORSE EVERY DAY BUT STILL HANGING ON IN THE HOPES OF SOMEDAY GETTING BETTER. SUNRISE PARABELLUM, TIME TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY. BUT HARRY DOESN’T HAVE TO FIGHT ALONE! IF YOU TREAT KIM RIGHT HE’LL STICK BY YOU. AND THAT’S THE ONLY WAY TO GET THROUGH IT, YOU KNOW? WITH SUPPORT. BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT KIM IS STILL A COP, RIGHT? AND HE ONLY GIVES YOU THAT SUPPORT BECAUSE YOU’RE ALSO A COP. THE SAD TRUTH OF THE WHOLE GAME IS THAT THERE’S NO ENDING WHERE EITHER OF YOU STOP BEING COPS. YOU PROBABLY NEVER WILL. WHEN THE GUYS FROM THE UNSOLVEABLE CASE GET DRUNK AND CAUSE TROUBLE, THEY GET BRUTALIZED BY HARRY AND NOBODY CARES BECAUSE THEY WERE DRUNKS. WHEN HARRY GETS DRUNK AND BRUTALIZES CIVILIANS, HE GETS OFFERED A PROMOTION BECAUSE HE’S A COP. AND KIM ISN’T ABOVE ABUSING HIS POWER IN PETTY WAYS EITHER. THE TRUTH IS THAT IF YOU WEREN’T A COP HE WOULD TREAT YOU THE SAME AS ANY OTHER ADDICT ON THE STREET. HE WOULDN’T BE YOUR FRIEND. ISN’T THAT FUCKING SAD? THE BEAUTIFUL HOLY MIRACLE OF DISCO ELYSIUM THAT HARRY AND KIM COME SO CLOSE TO GLIMPSING IS JUST LOVE. GENUINE LOVE AND CARE FOR PEOPLE AROUND YOU AND LETTING IT MOVE YOU TO BE KIND IN MATERIAL WAYS. THAT’S WHAT KEEPS THE INFERNAL ENGINE GOING. THAT’S WHAT SHIVERS MEANS WHEN IT SAYS “I LOVE YOU.” THE CITY LOVES YOU BECAUSE COMMUNITIES ARE NOTHING WITHOUT LOVE. AND ALL OF THIS IS COMPLETELY ANTITHETICAL TO THE POLICE STATE. THATS WHY YOU GET A GLIMPSE OF IT IN MARTINAISE, A TOWN ABANDONED BY THE POLICE. EVERYONE THERE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE POWERLESS. EVERYWHERE THEY LOOK THEY SEE THE SCARS OF BOMBINGS AND FAILED ATTEMPTS TO GENTRIFY THEM. HELL, EVEN THE PALE IS CREEPING INTO THE CITY. BUT THE PEOPLE KEEP GOING. YOU KEEP GOING. AND YOU ALMOST REALIZE WHY. BUT YOU NEVER QUITE GET THERE BECAUSE A COP WILL ALWAYS BE A COP FIRST AND A HUMAN SECOND, INCLUDING KIM. HE’LL KEEP DRESSING LIKE A REVOLUTIONARY AND THERE WILL PROBABLY ALWAYS BE THAT LITTLE SEED OF SHAME IN HIM BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE’S LYING TO HIMSELF BUT HE’LL NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE’S RESIGNED HIMSELF TO BEING UNABLE TO CONCEPTUALIZE A FUTURE BEYOND THE FAILURES OF THE PAST OR THE PRESENT STATUS QUO. BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT THERE IS NO FUTURE FOR A POLICE STATE. AND HE KNOWS IT BUT HE WON’T FACE IT ANY MORE THAN HE’LL FACE THE DIFFERENCES IN HOW HE TREATS YOU VS CUNO OR THE KIDS ON THE ICE. HARRY IS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD EVER BE ABLE TO SEE KIM AS A SAINT BECAUSE HE’S A COP. AND IN THE END YOU AND KIM LEAVE THE REALITIES OF MARTINAISE BEHIND THE SAME WAY THAT DORA LEAVES THE REALITIES OF DISABILITY AND POVERTY BEHIND WHEN SHE LEAVES HARRY. THE LOVE WAS ALWAYS CONDITIONAL AND ALWAYS WILL BE IF THEY CAN’T STOP BEING COPS. ANYWAY HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF TEHO TEARDO AND BLIXA BARGELD—

Image description: two people at a party or concert of some kind. One person is leaning into the other’s ear and shouting with an arm around their shoulder, the other is standing stiffly and looks exasperated. End description

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #all caps #SORRY. I SWEAR IM DONE NOW. #MARTINAISE i meant they leave the realities of martinaise behind not revachol. but i mean. that too in a way

[louisdotmp3]

SAD THAT YOU UGYS WON'T READ MAX GAO ARTICLES

#sorry i'm typing in all caps can HE JUST SAY THAT

[rabbitprincessthief]

gog i still can't get over minish cap vaati's Everything. He is So Fucking Stupid (affectionate)

Like. This guy's establishing character moment is, in order:

he's introduced as having won an entire tournament to get to touch a magic chest and get a cool sword, which was the prize for said tournament

turns around and does a goddamn evil soliloquy TEN FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARDS who were about to hand him his macguffin on a platter

(like this man fucks up his own horribly planned daylight heist because he cannot keep a lid on the dramatics for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, IN PUBLIC)

(THE BAR WAS ON THE FLOOR VAATI, FUCKING GANONDORF PLAYS THE PIPE ORGAN FOR HIS OWN BOSS INTRO AND HE STILL KNOWS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT)

proceeds to fight the guards (it is, admittedly, a curbstomp for him, but it still clearly wasn't his plan, because otherwise why bother with the tournament)

gloats evilly

opens chest, unleashing a whole bunch of monsters

exposits out loud about Zelda's powers like a nerd while she is actively charging up her magic powers to kick his ass

RECOGNIZES and IDENTIFIES said magic as the special power carried by the female royal line

completely fails to recognize it as the light force he is currently trying to get his hands on (he spends like 99% of the game not figuring this out.)

petrifies her

(i have no idea if link could have deflected this spell if he had managed to get the right angle with his shield but i like to think somewhere there is a very short and very funny alternate timeline where it happens)

(more importantly: no part of vaati's original presumed plan would have involved doing this. he 100% created this situation for himself by being an dramatic idiot and picking a fight for no good reason.)

looks in the chest

there's no light force

considering his stated goals he might be as confused as you are about the monsters tbh

uhhh

evil laugh

teleports the fuck out

He then proceeds to spend the rest of the game trying to figure out where the light force is and ends up having to wait for Ezlo and Link to figure it out first because he was, as far as I can tell, GENUINELY stuck on this part. He fucking kidnaps and impersonates the King, not for access to Zelda, but to… send guards to go look for the Light Force, presumably because he was either running out of ideas or genuinely thought that would work.

None of the guards even had any idea what he was talking about. He's not even good at impersonating the King. He's already sent like twenty people to the dungeon by the time you get there and it hasn't even been a week. Somehow the game spins this as a cunning plan and clever manipulation or something.

(Meanwhile the guards are just. Poking around in random bushes and shit hoping to find the light force. One of them asks you what you think it might look like.)

Zelda is literally right next to the throne and Vaati does not figure it out until you find an actual honest-to-goodness LORE TABLET spelling out that the Light Force is Stored in the Zelda, at which point he's like "ahahaha you've done my work for me this was definitely my plan all along" and takes over the castle and throws a bunch of monsters at you to stall for time while he figures out how to extract the force from her. Somehow he still doesn't think to actually lock the fucking door.

#vaati #minish cap #loz #mc #he's my stupid little squeak squeak and i love him #meta #op #sorry this got long but i have So Many Words about this little bastard #i think he's a really fun foil to ganondorf tbh - #ganondorf looks like a brute force guy but in practice tends largely toward manipulating and long cons and cunning #the appearance of dumb muscle but is actually refined and clever and skilled while also still being built like a brick wall #vaati looks like a classic scheming squishy wizard guy but actually is just cheating and does almost all his nonsense very directly #and his plans tend to be either Do X / ??? / Profit stuff or barely exist at all #to the point where og four swords is gated primarily by your ability to convince great fairies to help you rather than vaati stopping you #ganondorf is a guy given power who wants a magic wish granting artefact #vaati is a guy given a magic wish-granting artefact who decides he wants more power now actually #vaati has had a significant minion approximately once (shadow link) and that was in shared custody with ganon