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transienttheologyproject · 8 months

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i hope my followers & others keeping up & supporting this project know that whenever you leave a kind message on my post — whether it be something as simple as a tagging your reblog of my posts with ‘!!!’ or as personal as sending me a message to the effect of ‘this type of work means so much to me thank you for doing it,’ you are helping me keep my momentum going.

bit of a whole big rant below, sorry for the length, but tl;dr i’m just immensely grateful for what support this project has received because the backlash it has gotten has taken way more of a toll on me & my mental health than i anticipated, and your kindness has helped in motivating me to not just completely wipe this whole thing from the internet.

today yesterday kinda sucked. a lot of the past couple weeks have sucked, especially since pushing more of an online presence with this zine, because of course, with something like this you’re naturally gonna attract a range of Christians, from those ‘gender-criticals’ (whatever that means) who think I’m misguided, to those who begin their messages by calling me & my work perverted, to those whose vitriolic transphobia manifests in sending me Gospel verses weaponized as straight-up death threats. and obviously i knew this was going to happen, and it did, even from as early on as when i was posting the calls-for-art.

and at first i handled it well — i deleted whatever i felt wasn’t worth my time responding to, and if i could meme a hate-comment into a promotional tiktok, then i kept it around to do exactly that. and that worked. i told myself i wasn’t going to get defensive and bound up in keyboard wars because the purpose of this specific project, this specific platform isn’t for debating or dialoguing with Christians who don’t affirm trans+ identities — it’s to serve those who are trans+ and Christian, and I didn’t want this intra-community effort to become an inter-community debate forum. dialogue is a perfectly necessary thing, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a time & a place for everything and this project wasn’t meant to be it.

as the weeks went on, however, the negative attention this project was receiving began to take a toll on me. it didn’t help that in addition to the anticipated pushback from Christian peers, some of the trans+ folks i knew gave me a hard time for ‘bootlicking the oppressor.’ i was, and still definitely am, having the most intense experience i’ve had to this day of the exact type of ostracization that inspired me to pursue this project in the first place — too trans for the Christians, too Christian for the trans folks.

receiving comments calling an academic research project i dedicated my entire summer to “perverted” made me doubt everything i had worked so hard on. accusations of “heresy” and “blasphemy” i had expected and received plenty of, but perversion was not something i had anticipated. comments like “you make me sick” made me second-guess everything i had done leading up to that moment — am i sickening? i was falling for the false narrative that exists as the backbone of much of today’s transphobia — that trans+ people are inherently groomers, monstrous predators. i was perverting my body, they said, and scripture, too — and i began to wonder if they were right.

receiving comments like “enjoy your insanity! I hope the boot still tastes good when they've taken away all our rights so you could feel like ‘one of the good ones’” made me doubt my identity as a Christian. yeah, it’s no secret that the anti-trans legislation running rampant and scaffolding an era of fascism in the United States is the result of neoconservative Christians who represent more the Rome that Jesus mocked & condemned than Christ’s mission itself. i began to worry if calling myself Christian identified me with the oppressor and if talking about transness from a Christian perspective was really a helpful endeavor or if i was essentially stabbing my trans+ community in the back.

you’d think that given the nature of this project, i would be better about not letting those sorts of interactions wear me out. because i’m conducting a project that’ll say “hey, trans+ Christians, you don’t have to choose between those two facets of your identity because they’re not mutually exclusive,” you’d think i would’ve had that mindset confidently internalized. or maybe you wouldn’t think that, but i guess i thought so myself. and i guess i thought that expecting the petty backlash & having done enough research to dismiss it was enough to be prepared for it. not really.

from the beginning, i told myself, “don’t let the mean ones get to you, you’re smart and have done your research and know what you’re talking about.” but there was such a separation between myself and my work this summer that i never truly internalized what i was writing about — i believed it, but i didn’t necessarily believe it for myself.

this project has been a labor of love. and i definitely think the labor part got the best of me this whole summer. the literary review was a drag. writing up the annotated bibliography was immensely frustrating and took me way longer than i would have liked. same with the zine’s section prefaces. and i had planned and hoped to meet with and interview several professionals in the various fields examined in the zine — and i totally dropped the ball because of… something that felt like burnout, which actually made me feel like i had committed the biggest blunder of my professional career before it had even begun. I’m still recovering from that.

the mental and emotional toll this has caused me, the academic, spiritual, psychological, and physical strife this whole endeavor has proven to have been has resulted in me sort of dissociating from the project; i talked about it as though it was a passion project of mine — which it is — but as i was working on it, i felt so disconnected from the material. as if it were akin to a homework assignment in a class i couldn’t care less about.

i’ve been in a tough spot regarding mental health for a long while now (for various other reasons besides this), and i’ve reached the point where i’ve wanted to pull the plug on something to just try and break whatever vicious cycle im trapped in, whether that something be as large-scale as dropping out of university, or as low-scale as shaving all my hair off, or maybe…well, maybe since i can pinpoint these online interactions and this research pursuit as a whole as contributing substantially to my poor mental state, maybe i should pull the plug on the zine. screw it, delete the social media pages & the website, make sure artists get their copies & be done with it.

but i have folks who have been legitimately looking forward to this — not even just people of the intended audience! i have cis Christian friends on my college campus who had never met a(n openly) trans+ person, let alone a trans Christian, before they had met me who have demonstrated such a genuine eagerness to learn from the expressions of faith and gender from myself & others like me. i know a Catholic mother — the sweetest woman — who is ordering a physical copy of the zine so she can try to understand and support her two trans+ daughters, and any other trans+ people she meets, better. i’ve had countless people — strangers — message me “this work you are doing is incredible and incredibly needed. thank you for doing it.” i’ve seen several people, folks just scrolling through their tiktok for you page who don’t even usually follow after leaving me comments to the effect of “yknow, this is a strange crossover episode, but i’m here for it, this is cool!”

there are people who want this work out there. and what’s more is that there are people who need this work out there. and i guess every time someone goes out of their way to extend some kindness towards me and gratitude for this project, i am reminded that i am among those who need this work. those little moments ground me in the purpose and mission of this project — to serve my trans+ Christian community, particularly those who may be having trouble reconciling their intersection within those identities especially within the current socio-political climate. and like, that’s me!!! i am a member of my community, i am a part of the people i am hoping to serve.

everything i was (and truthfully, still am) anxious about, everything that was (and is) weighing on my heart is everything that this project hopes to challenge. all the doubt i’ve been experiencing as of late is exactly what inspired me to do this work in the first place.

and the kindness and gratitude so many of you have extended towards me in the past few weeks, especially within the past few days, have truly helped ground me. i’m still struggling to get back on my emotional feet per se, which is why i will ask that if you find a moment, you keep me in your prayers — but i genuinely mean it when i say that every positive tag on a reblog, every share on one’s story and every kind comment serves as a reminder to me that a.) there are people will be genuinely served by a project like this, and not only that, but b.) i am one of those people. you all remind me to take a look at what i’ve done from the perspective of a trans Christian, not of a student researcher or a graphic designer or a social media moderator or any of the other practical roles i had to take on this summer. you remind me to look at this project as the type of person it’s meant to serve. you remind me of my initial hopes and goals with this endeavor.

you remind me to allow myself to be transformed by the work i have done.

when you share with me how inspirational this project is to you, you remind me to let myself be inspired by the work i’ve done. when you share how much this zine means to you, you remind me to let myself take meaning in it.

and i think it’s sort of ironic in a very beautiful way — so much of this zine focuses on the idea of entanglement and the interdependence of many facets of our lives, and it wasn’t until this project became entangled with you all so much that your experience with the zine is no longer just dependent on mine, but that ours are interdependent on each other. the positivity you feel at learning about this project is poured back into my cup, giving me the breathing room to finally allow myself to feel positively about it, too.

so truly, from the bottom of my soul, thank you. thank you for your kindness and your support, and for making it this far in my ramblings if you have. i know it was quite disorganized and probably very repetitive but this is my first time sort of articulating what i’ve been feeling so heavily recently. so, thank you again — i hold each and every one of you always in my heart, mind, and prayers!

<3 - Soup

(the man behind the curtain)

#tw transphobia #wow this is a lot #thanks for reading #i love yall #transgender christian #trans christian #trans and religious #trans and christian

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revenantghost · 6 months

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[20 Question Fic Writer Game]

Tagged by @faindri and @pancake-breakfast!

How many works do you have on AO3?

18! Most are poetry collections, so a lot of smaller stories in one anthology.

What is your AO3 word count?

75,144

What fandoms do you write for?

Trigun is my main squeeze atm (and biggest in general, I have four projects for it which is double anything else--and the highest wordcount, too), but I've written for KinnPorsche, Sabikui Bisco, Danny Phantom, Vampire In The Garden, Sasaki to Miyano, Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, Goncharov (yeah... yeah), The Night Beyond the Tricornered Window, Signalis, Omori, Lycoris Recoil, and The Executioner and Her Way of Life

What are your top five fics by kudos?

No idea and I ain't looking! Trad publishing has me extremely scarred from some nasty comparison wars, so I have kudo and view counts blocked on ALL fics, including mine. From my kudos emails, though, Hallowboned has to be my top fic for sure. Last time I was paying attention most of my other fics didn't pass into triple digits by a long shot

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do!!! I adore comments, and I love chatting with folks, it really keeps me motivated and chugging along. I am... very behind on replying to the comments on my last chapter rn because I feel so awful and guilty about having to quit writing

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uh... I don't write a ton of narrative fics, and I do love me some tragic poetry, but I guess the angstiest collection might be my Signalis one, Observable System Transcendence? But my Omori poem and the Trined Soul collection might be contenders, too

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean, Trembling Hands is a Trimax fix-it fic, so? Though the Sasaki and Miyano collection, Effortless Dreams, is definitely the most tooth-rotting fluff I've ever slapped onto the page

Do you get hate on fics?

Oh yeah, I've had my poetry called pretentious and also not good enough to be poetry lol. It's been a hot minute since that's happened, people are just jerks sometimes

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I used to! Porn with plot, my beloved. It would be interesting to explore in poetry format, but we'll see if I have the time who wants to commission some poetry porn from me lmao

Do you write crossovers?

Nah, not my cuppa

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah, many moons ago

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that is one of the coolest things fandom does. Loving a thing so much you spend the time to painstakingly transform that art into something you can read and share in another language, bro??? Translators are amazing

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I've worked pretty closely with artists a loooong time ago, but I've only written fics where I'm the sole writer. I have used other writers' ideas and outlines (with their permission, of course), but that's the closest

What's your all-time favourite ship?

I DON'T KNOW?!?! Shipping has never really been my main focus of media typically, but when one digs its teeth into me I go rabid in a completely feral but different way each time.

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will?

))): All of them

Life feels kinda... really dire atm, it's hard to see ever writing again. However! God I want to finish Hallowboned SO BADLY!!! I have so many chapters written for it that I haven't even posted!!!!! Y'all haven't met Livio yet!!!!!! GAH 3:

What are your writing strengths?

Uh... ??? I'll be real, I've got no idea. I feel like I write so weirdly atm, it's hard for me to analyze in that kinda way

What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to get really excited/into things and flit around and forget to explain or describe things sometimes. Thank god for having been well-trained to edit my own work. Not that I catch it all, but I try!!!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it'd really cool, but I'd need a native speaker on hand to make sure I don't fuck it up in my own fic

First fandom you wrote for?

I think my first piece of written fanwork was a Danny Phantom Quizilla thing lmao, I'm old. I don't remember what it was about, just that it was ANGSTY

Favourite fic you've ever written?

Ah?!?! Honestly, each project is so different and written from such a different place, I've got no idea. I'm proudest of Observable System Transcendence being my longest, most consistent project (outside of my Smaugust collection, which isn't a fan project), Hallowboned being the first thing that really inspired me in ages--and the most indulgent one lol. But each collection and fic and poem comes from such a different place, and it's hard to pull them apart and pick???

Tagging:

Whoever wants to hop in! :3

#Yadda yadda #This was fun to poke my head back into fanfic headspace for a moment #Thank you guys for the tag! <3

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sidhewrites · 6 months

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20 questions

tagged by the best bird @dreamcrow!

Tagging you !

1.) how many works do you have on ao3?

11 works, 1 series

2.) what's your total ao3 word count?

46,333

3.) what fandoms do you write for?

Trollhunters/TOA occasionally. Mostly I write original stuff off Ao3 so this may not be the most exciting thing lol

4.) what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Tales of Arcadia: In Search of Home

A week in the Woods

Glimte

Wait

Parenting 101 BC

everything is TOA except for glimte, which is an original work you can read on Ao3 OR you can pwyw for the final edited version of it over on gumroad :3c

5.) do you respond to comments? why or why not?

yeah! i try to at least thank people for commenting if I have nothing else to say

6.) what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's not an ENDING per se but Parenting 101 BC has the saddest chapter that's been posted I think?

7.) what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think Wait probably? If only because a Week in the Woods is nothing but fluff

8.) do you get hate on fics?

nothing that I've seen so far. If there's any hate my way, it's probably a vagueblog somewhere that I haven't seen.

9.) do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Meh. Like I don't go out of my way to avoid writing it, I just don't often write anything where it feels necessary personally?

10.) do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

not legit crossovers but I love imagining my various OCs in the silliest possible situations. My favorite remains a spider librarian in centaur.world as a spidertaur

11.) have you ever had a fic stolen?

not my fic. I had an ooooold rp group stolen twice, but beyond that I haven't seen anything reposted and claimed. If there's something out there please let me know!

12.) have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! there's a fantastic group of russian folks who liked to read In Search of Home when I was updating it. If i start it up again, it's gonna be for them <3

13.) have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not in recent history nope

14.) what's your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly I don't think I have one? I like imagining various blorbos together but nothing stands out to me off the top of my head.

15.) what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I want so badly to finish In search of home, but the motivation....the muse...they are away never to be seen again...

16.) what are your writing strengths?

scene setting and character building. Action and dialogue can sometimes feel stilted, but I'm really good at giving the narration a strong voice and making strong, 3D characters :3

17.) what are your writing weaknesses?

pacing and plot. I get lost in the weeds, or I dont go into the metaphorical grass at all, and it's so hard to find that middle ground. Fortunately for fanfic you don't need to worry about pacing quite as much as you would for more traditionally-written stories with a planned beginning middle and end

18.) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I love it honestly. I threw in some spanish here and there for a bilingual character, and I think it adds some authenticity when you know the language. But if you don't, there's nothing wrong with just writing it in the language you do speak and just indicating that it's in a different language.

19.) first fandom you wrote for?

When I was 9 years old I was introduced to na.ruto and made my first OC. nothing was ever the same.

Although my first FIC fic was a H.arry P.otter fic when I was 11, posted on quizilla. Anyone remember Quizilla? That shit rocked. i loved those interactive fics.

20.) favorite fic you've ever written?

Honestly In Search of Home. It's just fun and silly and feels like a good continuation of my version of the series finale.

#answered meme #dash games #just for fun #tag games

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the-z-part · 3 years

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Wanna Know a Writer

Thank you SO much to @vtsuion for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

I currently have 11 fics on ao3!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

135,048! Mostly in Touché, which accounts for like 100k words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On ao3, I've written for four fandoms: The Adventure Zone, Dames and Dragons, The Raven Cycle, and the Raffles stories.

Back in the day on ff.n, I also wrote BBC Sherlock, Doctor Who, and Star Trek, but hopefully that's all lost to time!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Touché obviously! My bajilion word TAZ fencing high school au.

Up In The Air , a Taakitz airline steward au based on a prompt

One Spring Day , a Raven Cycle fic about Gansey realizing he's demisexual

Fire Lily, a Blupjeans hanahaki au, also based on a prompt

Eight (Candle)Nights, a collection of TAZ Hannukah ficlets!

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Historically I haven't, because I feel weird about repeating myself and just saying "thank you" a lot, but because I really love when people reply to MY comments, I've resolved to do it more often!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Easily A Study in Futility (I mean, it's in the name!). I wrote some dire shit back in my teen days, but I've softened up a lot lately.

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not recently, but way back in the day I wrote a BBC Sherlock/Star Trek crossover fic that was pretty galaxy-brained!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope! I'm not popular enough to get hate lol.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Nah, not my jam

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so ?????

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. That would be so cool!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Oh what a question. If we're talking number of years, it's Beverly Crusher/Jean-Luc Picard from TNG. If we're talking "to write about," I love writing Blupjeans so much! It we're talking current intensity, Figayda owns my ass (and I WILL write about them soon!). And then I'm writing a whole-ass original fiction novel about Holmes and Watson so they're up there too.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have this like huge sprawling TAZ au in my head, it's set in the great depression but with magic, inspired by the film O Brother Where Art Thou, structured by folk music, called Barry Done Gone Again.

But big swaths of the plot are missing, and I don't know how much I want to engage with capital-H history--like, I don't want my characters to constantly deal with racism/homophobia/transphobia, but I DO want to talk about economic inequality and the rise of facism, and including one without the other feels like it's ignoring the root causes of these problems.....

So yeah. Maybe if I figure out a good ending, it'll motivate me to sort the rest of this out! Or maybe not.

What are your writing strengths?

I love writing dialogue! Character voices and casual conversion and banter are all my jam!

I do a solid job of plotting; setting up foreshadowing and paying it off later.

I also think I'm pretty funny :)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Description. Setting. PACING!

Also just staying focused. I really struggle to do anything without an externally-imposed deadline.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Technically Harry Potter, although I didn't ever post it. The first fandom I posted in was BBC Sherlock. I know. But listen, I was teen, I didn't know any better.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I mean, Touché. It's super personal and, I think, pretty damn good.

I want to shout out some of my less-read fic that I love, though, particularly The Maltese Duck (TAZ noir nonsense) and the fire's burnt, the wind has blown, the water's dried (you'll still find stone) (my Dames and Dragons opus)

tagging: @barryjaybluejeans @homofocused and @freezing--oceans

But also, I don't know who-all writes fic, so if we're mutuals consider yourself tagged!

#tag games #personal #hey v thanks for tagging me! that was really sweet!#fan fiction

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twixtandshout · 3 years

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Tagged by @pidgeonpostal! And not tagging anyone else because I have SOILED the original template (soiled it!!) in deference to my [brushes off skirt] mostly clean public-facing appearance.

...I’ve been making a lot of Spongebob memes lately for someone who has not seen Spongebob.

How many works do you have on AO3?

71!

What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

...306,834. Jesus.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Uh. Many! I do a lot of one-offs (and/or start long things I never finish) in many different places. My top three fandoms by fics written are RWBY (29), Undertale (25), Gravity Falls/Transcendence AU (4).

Bet you can’t tell where my hyperfixations have fallen.

I’ve also got some Pokémon and Sonic the Hedgehog fics back on my ff.net account, or I think I still do, anyway, but let’s never go back there pls

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Sweeter Than Honey (Undertale): Taking a Completely unsurprising first place, with over 600 more kudos than the runner-up, the haphazard Underswap fic featuring a post-college self-insert I wrote just after high school! I shake my head some at how overblown and ridiculous the gap between this and all my other stuff is (c’mon, guys, I’ve written way better fics), but this is also the fic which prompted me (and at least one other person!) to start using they/them pronouns. I’ve gotten a lot of really sweet comments about how seen and appreciated it’s made people feel, so I can’t get down too far about it.

2. To Be A Hero (BNHA): I don’t count myself as part of the BNHA fandom, for a number of reasons, but for something that’s arguably the main motivation for the entire plot, Midoriya’s quirklessness is something I’ve never thought has been handled well. This fic marked the first time I (somewhat tentatively) claimed the disability label (thanks again to Sweeter Than for prompting that realization) to hold that lens over canon. It also really shot up my chart, dang! It’s the only thing here I’d consider “recent.”

3. Three-Sentence Shipping (Undertale): Self-explanatory.

4. Brothers Beyond Bonedaries (Undertale): Ah, the way-overcomplicated AU³ I got nowhere close to finishing. One of the things I really like about Undertale is the interface screw, how Toby Fox uses the medium of the video game to pull off crazy things and enhance his game, but most of the fic written for the fandom seems dedicated to explaining it away, grounding it, rather than taking it to the next step and messing with the medium of fanfiction when you keep the story going. I tried to do something cool like that here, playing with questions like narrator and authorship and breaking the fourth wall, even taking the “final boss” fight to a “totally separate” fic reached through the first by link – but, well, then I never finished it, which probably didn’t make anything less confusing for the poor folks who missed the intent.

5. Spirit and Such (Gravity Falls: Transcendence AU): A whole fic written to line out a particular image I had, which, naturally, never made it to the page. I consider it a bit of a cautionary tale for myself when it comes to writing (near-)original content; there’s a lot I look back on and cringe. I still love the characters, though – well, the important ones – and I think just stepping away from the tried-and-true Mizar formula nets it a star sticker here.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

>w>; I try, but a lot of the time I just don’t have anything to say? Like, oh, you liked it? Neat. There’s not much to respond to in comments like that, and then I’m weighing falling down on an ~obligation~ to respond to every message in my inbox vs annoying people with copy-paste fluff responses all down the page. Plus I know I make more of an effort to comment on things that didn’t get the attention I feel they deserve, so if I’m driving up my own comment count with nonsense, am I preventing myself from being in a position to receive more comments later? And then if I do comment, am I being too effusive or running people’s ears off explaining things they don’t actually need to know? Sometimes people just want to express interest or admiration and don’t necessarily want a whole peek and guided tour behind the curtain.

Can you tell I have anxiety? x3;

Anyway, I do respond when I can. And I keep most of the comments I’ve gotten to go back and reread.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hm, hmm. Lots of stuff in the TQ Nonsense series would probably qualify! I’m thinking of Unfixable, Wolfsong, and Ethanol. And there’s Bursting Through A Blood-Red Sky (I Can Live, I Can Breathe), of course, but that was always intended to have a fix-it epilogue. It’s just that I wrote it in a couple of hours day-of, stared at it, and decided I didn’t wanna just then. But now that’s As Long As You’re Still Burning Bright (I’m Still Awake), and that’s probably the best romance I’ve written, so that one worked out.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Now and then! When the urge strikes. Uhhh, I’ve got a series of Doctor Who x Undertale crossovers I actually made a whole dang verse for that never made it to print. Get a couple great comments on that every few months or so. I think the World Trigger x Undertale crossover is probably weirder, though, by virtue of WT being a very small fandom. My enthusiasm kinda sputtered out on that one.

Mostly I just daydream crossovers with whatever happens to catch my eye at any given moment. I have a lot!!!! Though odds are out on whether I manage to remember any of them once the initial thought’s passed, lol.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Gotten a couple eyebrow-raising comments, but I think mostly I’m just too small a writer to draw that kind of attention.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t? think so? Think my tastes are a little niche for most people to bother ^^;

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had someone apologize once for any language mistakes in their comment cause they had to run it through a translator! That’s not what you asked (the answer is no), but it’s very flattering to think that someone liked my fic enough to read and comment despite the language barrier.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! :D @pidgeonpostal was gracious enough to agree to co-write Five Nights at Denny’s with me off an idea about shoes. This has fulfilled a long-held dream of mine (collabing with someone, not the shoes) and also introduced me to some lovely people.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Who has time for just one? ;3c Honestly, I care more about the characters and how the relationship – any relationship – between them changes them than I do about ~A Ship~ as a solid, bounded noun-object. I’ve got characters I like more and less and feelings about who does and doesn’t have chemistry in which directions with whom, but finding anything that agrees with those preferences is hard, harder when you take alloromanticism into account. I’ll play in any sandbox with cool toys, especially if other folks have already built sick sandcastles there.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

[kicks every single unfinished fic further under the bed] What nooo no WIPs here, everything on my account is either finished or does not exist

I’ve got a couple extra chapters of Sweeter Than floating around unposted, but 1. that fic’s a mess 2. high school Twixt and post-college Twixt are different people and trying to contort myself into three other me-shapes just cause people Like this fic is not something I’m super interested in 3. it’s headed for an emotional dip and I’d rather leave it where it is than post two chapters, stall out again, and leave folks with a bad end.

As for other fics... it’s looking more and more likely that v7 of my Yellow Brick Road AU will never actually make it out. >w>; I’ve got some really great ideas, but not enough to make me feel like I know what I’m doing, and that’s a big roadblock. Plus trying to engage with RT’s Atlas-Mantle worldbuilding in any serious capacity is... a headache. I can’t recommend the Happy Huntress Cinematic Universe enough, but it leaves some pretty big shoes to follow! And I’ve got small feet. <w<;

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue’s fun, probably as an extension of characterization. I love tearing into what makes people tick, especially against the backdrop of their environment, the story they’re in, and the people they’re up against. Voice is a double-edged sword; I’ve been told my writing is really recognizable and individual, but on the other hand, I’ve been growing frustrated with with the limits of my narrative ability. There’s a strong rhythm I keep when I write (you might notice it here, even) but that leaves me feeling predictable and stale. I’m not sure I’m great at setting as a matter of course, but I’m pretty good at describing setpieces where the need comes up; that comes from my background in poetry, as does the fun I have with sublimating and abstracting complex imagery. And I think I bring some needed nuance to the universal. For good or ill, I don’t do what “everyone else” is doing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Well, writing, for one thing. If I don’t know how something’s going to go and don’t have the urge to write it, it isn’t getting done, which means there’s a billion things that will never see the page and a few hundred more that are never getting finished. I lose momentum easily and have a hard time getting started, and I put way too much standing on finding a foothold with other people; as critical as I am of my work, I have high expectations for the stuff that passes muster, and it never seems to measure up. I’m also really uncreative. Yeah, I can mix up elements and extrapolate events, but coming up with things wholesale is really hard, which is why I avoid it wherever possible and steal/reskin stuff from other places instead.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Something along the lines of “Hoo boy, I am Not qualified for this but hopefully it’s decent anyway.” Maria’s Spanish lines haven’t been a big deal – I’ve used it sparingly and, as a Latin language, it should be easy for English-speaking audiences to pick up on the gist – but I’ve had a harder time with Tai’s Chinese, both because I have Even Less background there and because it is, of course, an entirely different language system. If I write it out in English or Romanized italics, am I colonizing it or changing the meaning? If I write it out in the presumed-original characters (presumed because it’s Google Translate and who knows if I’m even barking in the right forest), am I confusing or alienating my presumed-majority-English-speaking audience? Where should I put the translations? Should I put the translations? And for Frisk’s sign language, thinking back, are the brackets I used instead of quotes alienating/infantilizing? I like that different characters give the text between a different feel, but I’m not an ASL speaker – and I’m pretty sure the word is “speaker,” which would only reinforce that that demographic would rather I didn’t do that. It’s important for all these characters, I think, that they use non-English language where it makes sense; it’s part of who they are. But as a white monolingual English-speaker, I don’t think I can really weigh in.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Thaaaat’d be Pokémon, followed closely with Sonic the Hedgehog. Whether those fics are still on my ff.net account or not (pretty sure I’ve purged them, but you never know) I’ve still got a couple saved to a folder on my current laptop, ostensibly so I can look back and see how far I’ve come and more practically to allow for the possibility of furthering group cohesion through public shaming.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I still like the idea behind The Man Who Is Atlas, and Burning Bright (Still Awake) gets props for being my current fic, though it’s currently in that spot where I’m excited to get new chapters posted but also quietly marking everything up in red pen. I think Harbinger gets the crown here, at least for now.

#answerin' stuff

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marshmallowgoop · 4 years

Photo

This is something I should have edited together.

So here it is: (a lot of!) the sweet messages I’ve received in the last month or so that are in direct response to my anonymous hate mail.

I don’t know how true it is, but I’ve heard it said that humans are remarkably negative creatures, and it takes so many more positive experiences to balance out just one negative experience. And maybe it’s not that universal a thing, but I can say that it sure feels relevant to my own life.

So, I think it’s important to remind myself that, no matter how much it seems like it’s so easy to attack me but so difficult to support me, I’ve actually received far more kind messages than cruel messages throughout this whole mess. And the kind messages are so much more thoughtful, too—and often attached to real names!

And... I think that says something when I’m as cringey and humiliating as I am. These folks aren’t too ashamed to say that they’re here for me and what I do.

(But that said, I have removed names from anything that wasn’t a reblog or reply because I don’t want to embarrass anyone. Please let me know if you don’t want your words here at all, and I’ll blur them out. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.)

There’s some stuff I want to address under the cut—along with a transcript if anyone is interested in reading these words but has trouble with the screenshots—but more important than any of my ramblings to follow, I want to thank everyone who took the time to write out these supportive sentiments and who continues to support me. I know these meltdowns are a drag, and I know I’ve been a nuisance. Thank you for sticking with me. I aim to be better and live up to what these messages say.

First things first, I want to clarify why I posted the collage of all the hate the other day. I didn’t approach that well, and I’m sorry. I realized too late that it was a bad decision.

Really, that collage was more meant just for me. Maybe it’s sad, but I’ve been actively writing on this site for a good half decade now, and for a lot of that time, I’ve almost craved anon hate. I was disappointed that I never got any. I wondered what the heck I was doing wrong.

After all, I have so many unpopular opinions. I realized that a lot of the community disliked me—or if that’s too strong a word, I knew they didn’t want anything to do with me—because of what I think and how I feel. But they never wanted to voice anything to my face. I wasn’t worth the effort to be attacked. I was nothing. Nobody.

There’s this quote from Tibor Kalman that I think about a lot: “[W]hen you make something no one hates, no one loves it.” If no one hated me enough to hate me right to my face, I thought, then I wasn’t good enough. I was boring. Easily forgotten. Not worth the effort.

So, getting all that anon hate for the first time? God, it hurt. It hurt so bad. Getting everything I’d always feared the community hated about me—as well as things I didn’t even consider them hating about me—right in my inbox? Ow. I cried a lot. I wanted to burn everything I ever wrote a lot. I wanted to quit making stuff for this community a lot.

What’s the use? I thought—selfishly, of course, keeping in mind all the support up above. Why do I try? It was cruel and unfair, but I kept thinking these things. I kept thinking, What’s the use when nobody wants me here?

But I also thought about the implications of getting all that stuff thrown at me. And I knew it meant one thing: I’m not boring anymore.

There is at least one person out there who frequently checks my blog for more things to rail on me for. There is at least one person going out of their way to write nasty, awful, mean-spirited messages. There is at least one person eagerly waiting for me to respond, to say something, anything, so that they can hurt me and drag me and push me down.

After all these years, to at least one person, I’m worth the effort. No matter how much the messages have stung and destroyed me, I wanted to keep a record of them to remind myself, hey. Someone or someones out there hate(s) me this much for having a different opinion on a cartoon. Maybe that says that my opinions on this cartoon are worth something.

I mean, they’re worth this level of mocking and ridicule, right?

But... I could have just kept the collage to myself. It’s a personal motivation. Nobody else needs to see these terrible things. That just encourages the cruelty even more. Why did I publicize it?

Well, it’s not too uncommon for Internet content creators to make something out of their hate comments. I like the trend of turning the comments into songs, like here, for example:

youtube

At the end of the video, Madilyn Bailey, the artist, says that the purpose of the song is to mock Internet troll culture and make something positive from the negativity.

But I wouldn’t say that that was really my motivation for posting my collage. Call me silly and naive, but I wanted to draw attention to these Internet fandom issues. Everything in that collage is what I was having to deal with... on top of my normal life struggles.

While all of this was happening, I was tapering off my anxiety and depression medication because I felt it wasn’t as effective as it could be and because I feared it was making me lose my hair—something that I am extremely self-conscious about. I cut my hair short nearly a decade ago, and it’s never grown back to the same length.

So, needless to say, while all of this was happening, I was horrified about the big clumps of hair lost in the shower. I was dealing with lightheadedness and dizziness from the withdrawal of my meds (which I’m still dealing with, btw), and I was also dealing with stresses at work. My department has changed management within the last year, and there’s been the concern that people will lose their jobs. There’s been the concern that this occupation won’t be enough to support me anymore.

While all of this was happening, I was stressed about my career, about money, about growing older—the beginning of the anon hate assault was just days before my birthday. I couldn’t see my therapist as much as I wanted because there ain’t enough therapists out there for all this world’s issues.

And while I know that I shouldn’t compare, I also know well that my struggles are nothing compared to the struggles of others. So, how must it feel to deal with all the crap that life just normally throws at you, that’s probably a lot worse for most people than it is for me... and then come home to messages that treat you like a disgusting, horrible, awful human being for your feelings on a cartoon? For work you offer to a community for free and fun?

For answers to questions that you only answered because you were asked to?!

Well, it felt pretty bad to me.

When I posted my collage, I meant to send a message about how this is not okay. I don’t want to see this kind of behavior, and I’m bothered that I don’t know how normal or common what happened to me is. Is this an everyday occurrence for online content creators? Have I just been shielded all these years because I wasn’t interesting enough?

I hoped that by sharing what I was going through, it’d draw attention to the problem. We shouldn’t be treating our fandom content creators like this. It’s not fair. It’s sick.

Of course, I don’t want to guilt anyone into supporting me. I don’t want anyone to feel like they can’t criticize me. I don’t want anyone to feel that, just because I was dealing with a Lot in life, any poor behavior on my part is somehow okay. It isn’t.

The comments that probably hurt me the most in that collage aren’t even the “hate” ones. They’re the ones that express that I messed up. That I hurt them. I can’t say I agree with how these feelings were expressed, but more than any nasty, personally insulting message, those probably hit hardest. I hate the feeling that I’m disappointing my followers. In fact, in taking screenshots for this post, I saw that at least one of the people who had sent me a sweet message has since unfollowed. And that—the sense that I should just stop, that my work really is as horrible as the cruel anons say, that I’m no longer someone they want to support because I’m a disaster and a failure—that... really, really stung.

But as I’ve said before, I can’t blame anyone for leaving me after all this drama. It stinks. It sucks. I messed up. I try to be kind, respectful, considerate, but I’m not perfect, and there are gonna be mistakes along the way.

So I want to encourage—but only if you’re comfortable doing so, of course—more feedback about how to be better. How could I make my content more appealing? How could I handle these situations in ways that are less awful? Could I improve my post-tagging system? My therapist is helping me, but I’d like to hear from all y’all, too. I want to know how to make stuff that people actually enjoy. Anon hate doesn’t exactly help me make better content, but actual constructive feedback will. That’s what I want to see.

But enough bellyaching. Here are some posts I’m prioritizing right now, and I’d like to know which one folks would want to see most:

✄ “ambiguous” thoughts

✄ Ryuko stronger in episode 14, North Kanto monkey versus Osaka monkey

✄ Episode 6 ending

✄ Ryuko and Senketsu interactions

✄ Ripping out heart

✄ Satsuki’s isolation

✄ Things About: Senketsu, Satsuki, Mako, Tsumugu (maybe more?)

✄ Ryuko’s IF story, episodes 5-8

✄ Ryuko’s IF story, episodes 9-10

✄ Anime Revolution info

It’s a lot, I know ^^; And that’s not even close to all of it. But where should I start? Don’t worry; I intend to finish everything here—especially because a lot of these are old, old requests!—but I’m easily overwhelmed, so an idea of where to begin would be really helpful for me!

tl;dr, I shouldn’t have posted that thing the other day, and maybe this long vomit dump about my intentions doesn’t even come close to making up for it. But I want folks to know that I appreciate their support and would love any feedback about how to better serve the community and live up to these kind messages.

Which, speaking of, here’s a transcript of them:

“As a survivor that's ace I think you're handling the ragyo situation excellently and I'm really enjoying your blog so thank you!”

“Sorry you’re dealing with backlash in regards to your opinions and headcanons on Ragyo, dear! While I can’t really say much on the matter, I think it’s fair that you’re being open with us on how you feel and that you’re entitled to your opinion. Does that mean people will agree with you? No, but that’s okay! Or at the very last, it should be...but people can get heated when certain topics come up and that’s when it Gets Messy”

“There’s no right way to fandom, people jumping in your ask to belittle you are jerks. Tbh the first time I watched Kill La Kill I didn’t consider ryuko and senketsu relationship as romantic but after finding your writing and on subsequent watches I totally see it and like that’s the whole point of fandom right? A group of people who love a thing for varying reasons, I don’t understand this need to be monolithic in fandom. Anyways I love your writing and totally understand your frustrations of late”

“Guys, come on. It’s a work of fiction. People are allowed to like whatever they want to like. You don’t like that? That’s fine! But please, leave Goop alone for stating her mind and expressing how she feels about it. She wouldn’t hark you for your opinion because she’s fully aware of how could make you feel. She’s done nothing but pout her heart out about a series she loves, it’s her passion. If someone did that to YOU, you wouldn’t like it, now would you? (1/2)

“I know it’s not going to magically change overnight and everyone will say their peace to feel validated, but I just feel so bad that you’re getting all of this over things that you’ve previously talked about and STILL have to defend yourself for. Your opinion is yours, Goop, and don’t let ANYONE try to challenge that! (2/2)”

“Please don't be so hard on yourself! I understand why it makes you upset when people send hate and stuff but you shouldn't feel the need to justify every single word you say. I just wanted to let you know that I always adored everything you write and I'm completely on your side in all of this. :) I hope you feel better soon!”

“I think your takes are very good; but more important than everyone agreeing w/ everyone elses readings, I think, is that you are a very good writer of analysis and it would be a shame for you to falter in that because of ppls reactions to your content. anyone who harasses you about having the 'wrong opinions' about fiction needs to learn how analysis of fiction functions & find a better outlet :) you are very talented, Goop, please follow your true north!”

“People get hung up on weird things, like you can disagree with someone and not devolve to personal attacks??? Anyways I enjoy your klk content! I look forward to more analysis of the game!”

“man, i dunno why so many anons gotta be such massive jackasses, you don't deserve it. hell, i don't even ship ryuketsu (I lean towards a more queerplatonic partnership interpretation, and im generally allergic to romantic shipping anyways) and i still deeply appreciate the thought and research and care you put into your meta.”

“ik you don't want asks about this but as a sexual assault survivor you are absolutely valid on how you feel about Ragyo. I skip the bath scene on every rewatch, and I find her atrocious. The fact that people are attacking you for this is dumb.”

“Hey man you’re allowed to talk about who you want on your blog. It’s your shit. People are so entitled nowadays and can’t let people have opinions anymore. You’re not dumb, you’re not trying to be offensive. And it hurts seeing how you’re trying to be courteous and step on eggshells and still getting dragged. Like people are allowed to disagree but there’s no need to be rude to someone trying not to be rude. You’re literally saying an opinion. Everyone else relax, my dude. You’re fine.”

“It’s amazing how all these people can recognize ragyos terrible behavior but insist on having to defend her….”

“Just wanted to shout over all of this hate and say you have an amazing blog and you shouldn’t let this get you down. Keep doing what you’re doing because it’s legitimately awesome. Anyway that’s all I had to say. Keep being you.”

“Hey Goop. Just always remember that even if we're quieter, there will always be more people supporting you and loving you than people hating you. I really hope you don't let these anons destroy your health in a more permanent way. Keep up the good work!”

“Hello! Just wanted to say that I love your posts and analyses of klk so much! I love seeing how passionate you are about it (bc I am too) and I also ship Ryuketsu SUPER hard! I'm sorry if people are getting you down, but I hope you keep on doing your thing!”

trashcanalienist said: I agree with this so much

tolliver-j-mortaelwyver said: …don’t ever let someone else’s insecurities become part of you. 😉

official-raven-branwen reblogged this from marshmallowgoop and added:

Ya’ll got a problem with Goop, you can fuck outta here with that.

#Lookin at you anon

official-raven-branwen said: Why are people being mean to you??! Goop, please please please don’t ever think that your content isn’t wanted. If people are having an issue, that’s on them. They can fuck right off.

tolliver-j-mortaelwyver said: More Ryuketsu! Indeed!

kuribo4indahouse said: Kill la Kill needs you

csolarstorm said: Hey Goop, I sympathize. It’s never easy to share opinions about topics like this, because everyone has a different story, and they all want their story heard by others. I’ve found that you can’t accomodate everyone’s struggles - you can only speak for yourself. Keep on writing, I love Kill la Kill and Iook forward to reading your work.

official-raven-branwen said: You got this!

kuribo4indahouse said: Don’t worry, and don’t count out the possibility of becoming bigger over time!

gaylo-thymos said: Hell yea, you’re doing your very best to be out there and that’s what matters. Keep bein you!

darthvandr said: Well regardless of recent events, you’re one of my favorite blogs and I’d be sad if you left. So you just keep on being you!

kuribo4indahouse said:

Who the fuck wrote that lol

Are those even real people writing those messages? Who would be this rude over a TV show?

And then they call you “butthurt”… Any self awareness?

official-raven-branwen replied to your post “You’re so butthurt about this Ragyou thing. Get over yourself. So…”

You are awesome Goop! Don’t listen to those asshat anons. You rock and those anons mean nothing. You keep being you because you are enough!

Not sure why you have such awful anons. You are an awesome person. Please know that you opinions on stuff that you (very obviously) love are perfectly valid, because they are your opinions, on your own freaking blog. And to that anon that sent you that message, listen dude, if you don’t like the content Goop puts out, there’s the unfollow button right there champ.

eldritchgentleman reblogged your photo and added:

Fuck the opinions of others and enjoy what you love! They don’t own you, listening to them doesn’t make you happy so screw them with a pineapple.

simon-newman reblogged your photo and added:

Also Ryuko and Senketsu is a valid ship.

eric-coldfire reblogged your photo and added:

Absolute valid ship, op. Ignore the haters and keep being you.

kuribo4indahouse reblogged your post and added:

Just laugh at these Goop.

badgerjaw replied to your post “goops, you’re starting to stoop to the level of those that are bugging…”

I don’t think this anon knows what patronizing means, nor can they tell the difference between getting a big head and acknowledging the amount you do in this fandom. To each their own, nonny, cheers

badgerjaw replied to your post “You realize some of us don’t have Tumblr accounts, we’re coming over…”

At least the shirt in question can consent; wonder if these nonnies are gonna get on the people who abuse their non-sentient socks?

“I'm sorry. I don't always necessarily agree with the ideas, but I haven't been offended.”

“And I know you're like, you know, a reasonable, nice person. So even if you did say something that came off as offensive, I wouldn't be up in arms about it, you know?”

“Hey Goop, I know this is coming really late but here's what I wanted to say

“You didn't deserve any ounce of that anon hate.

“I'm just absolutely stunned. There was nothing wrong with what you posted. Not then, not now. Because all you were doing was expressing your OWN interpretations. You weren't trying to claim anything as set-in-stone fact

“And... I don't understand. I don't understand why people are SO angry that another person has an opinion they don't share. In the end, what are we talking about here? An anime...

“Don't get me wrong. The topics you discussed were indeed important to talk about, and fiction definitely does influence reality. But the fact of the matter is that, when it comes down to it, your posts were simply you sharing some headcanons about some characters from an anime

“And... when you look at the grand scheme of things, I really do think those anons are really quite pathetic. I mean. Consider what sort of person they have to be so get SO angry over a post like ‘Hey I think Ragyo might be ace’ and say ‘How can you be this STUPID Ragyo is OBVIOUSLY a lesbian and YOUR WHOLE BLOG IS A BAD TAKE’ like really?????

“Actually you didn't even say ‘Ragyo might be ace,’ it was more of a ‘I personally feel like Ragyo is ace’ and?? What's the issue with that?????/

“I'm sorry if I'm rambling but I'm so upset that you're upset cause of those anons and all the hate you got over NOTHING

“Also, don't discount the fact that there are indeed people out there who agree with you. I know you mentioned that you don't think anyone shares the same opinions on Ragyo as you do. But in all my years of following you, I've realized one thing

“You and I... have the same opinions on EVERYTHING????????

“But let me be clear. That's not why I support you. It doesn't matter if we have the same headcanons.

“Even if I disagreed with everything you said, I'd still support you. Because it's not the headcanons that matter—it's how respectful you are and how you're always trying to better yourself. You always try SO SO SO hard to express yourself in a reasonable and kind way, and you are always trying to be mindful of your wording and considerate of other people's opinions

“It really upsets me to see you apologize so much to people who don't deserve an apology.”

“Hi, Goop. I want to thank you for everything you do on this blog. I started getting into your Kill la Kill content in around 2016. I even keep a copy of your meta book downloaded on my phone to reread every now and then.

“I think what I like so much about your writing is how in-depth and supported and thoughtful it all is. Kill la Kill is so easy for people to write off as just a flashy, over the top, fanservice show. I think the biggest takeaway from the show is that it truly is a story about friendship and love, and I’m glad that you write so, so much about this. It always gets me all giddy and excited when I see you post something new or when you reblog your old stuff. I first watched the show in 2014, then I rewatched it two more times, knowing that I liked it, but not knowing exactly why.

“Until I started reading your blog. It’s really thanks to you that Kill la Kill is now my unbeatable, number one favorite anime ever.

“You put into words so eloquently what I’ve always felt towards Kill la Kill since I first watched it. I want you to know I really appreciate you. Please know you have my support, and I hope you keep doing what you love.”

“First off HAPPY BIRTHDAY~

“I just hope that anon finds something more fulfilling than spewing hate and nonsense. Like model trains, or magic tricks. I know my life got a lot more bright when I kept my nose out of people’s business and started focusing on the things I love to do.”

“I'm sorry that you have to deal with these trolls. :/ Some people just like to get a reaction.

“*would talk more but feels that the conversation is past its expiration*

“I respect you for expressing your opinion. Lord knows how illegal that is when insecure people get offended.”

“super late at night for me and I should be sleeping but I saw all your responses and how you tried to handle things and just felt really bad. You're in a situation that things just can't be solved with a simple logical response. Like I said sometimes people just have a view and when they disagree they just need to attack others who are part of that disagreement.”

kurouga replied to your post “[[MOR] I already knew people felt this way about me, but I guess…”

You don’t know if it needs you? At times like these I’d say the fandom doesn’t deserve you. It’s always mind-boggling – and yeah, saddening – to recognize how readily people forget how to be civil and begin to hold the meaning they see in fiction as more important than the feelings and experiences of others. Meanwhile you’re classy, humble, patient, and resilient enough to have retained these qualities where so many others… haven’t. Nothing short of inspiring.

I’d say it’s reflective of the cancerous state of fandom environments that it’s so much easier to win support with sweeping, neat and tidy divisiveness – that is, by resorting to discouraging, dismissing, or ridiculing differences in opinion – than it is to garner support as a thoughtful proponent of discussion.

Those who would argue “This fandom would be perfect if only those people who have other opinions/ships would just *stop* already” are those who would rather reign over a wasteland than accept that their views aren’t threatened/invalidated by the existence of differing views. And they almost certainly don’t appreciate the irony in that the perfect victory they envision is one in which what remains of the fandom is all cut from the same cloth. Never stop being you, goop.

“Hey uh saw that you're going through some brutal stuff with a anon. But I wanted you to know you're handling it like a champ and hopefully they'll get on with their life soon!”

“No problem I always look forward to getting notifications for your posts. It's kinda sad that you can't talk about opinions on here without someone getting upset but I hope that doesn't stop you from continuing!”

“You write a lot about things and you're sure to upset someone but at least you're being honest and always try to resolve disagreements realistically. I'm sorry that you're crying and all but I hope you do feel better soon! It's gonna be your birthday after all ✌️”

“I don’t know if I clicked the right button. Sorry. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I really, really respect your work and to thank you, because you bring so much happiness to life of me and my other friends. Keep up with your good work and continue to share love for Kill La Kill and for t h e m. *salutes*”

“hey! heard you'd been getting shit lately from people deliberately seeking to misunderstand the work you've put into the KLK fandom over the years (doubt you'd remember me but i'm still [blurred for privacy] on AO3). even though i don't use tumblr anymore on a regular basis, of all the people i met and knew, even tangentially, in this fandom, you've always stuck out to me as one of the loveliest and most dedicated fans and my favorite meta writer, period. please keep it up!”

korra-n-stuff replied to your post “You realize some of us don’t have Tumblr accounts, we’re coming over…”

can these anons please go away? you’re wonderful goop, dont change. These people just has sticks in their asses

fromtheriverbanks replied to your post “Guys, come on. It’s a work of fiction. People are allowed to like…”

I love your analysis. I tend to agree with the stuff about Ryuko and Senketsu and think it’s a big part of what makes the show beautiful. If there were PhDs in Kill la Kill, you would deserve one.

#ramblings #shut up goop #goop makes a (kinda) personal post #the discourse #serious talk #a bit?#video #music #kill la kill #ish #tl;dr thank you everyone who has stuck with me #i'm sorry about being so dramatic #i have a really really really hard time getting over things but that's no excuse #i am going to try a lot harder to be better about all the bellyaching

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vespertine-legacy · 5 years

Text

Fictober 2019 Day 3

Prompt #14. “I can’t come back.”

Fandom: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: None?

Characters: Female Sith Inquisitor (OC: Cassija “Sija” Solborne), Andronikos Revel, Lana Beniko (briefly), Hylo Visz

Tags: aaaaaaaaangst

When the alert from Lana pops up on Sija’s datapad - raids on Eternal Fleet ships - she immediately drops everything else. Sure, there are plenty of people and entities in the galaxy with motive to attack and raid Fleet supply ships. But Lana’s message specifically mentions that a GEMINI Captain apprehended a lone pirate attempting to board her ship. Sija can think of only one pirate brave - or stupid - enough to board a GEMINI ship alone. When she requisitions a shuttle to travel to Fleet Ship 3678, Lana offers to go with her. Lana can feel the tangled knot of Sija’s emotions in the pit of her own stomach, but she can’t quite read them.

“No, stay. I won’t be gone long.” Sija kisses Lana’s forehead and gently squeezes both of her hands.

On the short flight to the Fleet ship, Sija keeps repeating to herself: it’s got to be him. It can’t be him. As soon as she steps onto Ship 3678 and is led toward the holding cells, she can hear a gravelly voice hurling insults at an increasingly frustrated-sounding Hylo Visz. Sija stops a few paces shy of the door to the cell where the crew is keeping the captured pirate with her hands steepled in front of her face, taking a deep breath as the prisoner demands to speak to the “son of a Hutt in charge.”

“That would be me.”

It takes a good deal of effort for Sija not to crack a smile at the brief look of panic on Andronikos’s face when he sees her; it’s almost as amusing as the time she had introduced herself to a contact as “Cassija Revel” after he proposed to her, and Nik had blanched, excusing himself and choking out “We did not discuss this.”

Instead, Sija asks Andronikos for an explanation of his attacks on her ships, and he makes a show of detailing the story of paying back the former Empress for all of her attacks on innocent worlds. Sija rolls her eyes and turns to Hylo, who has been staring Andronikos down with a raised eyebrow.

“You can go, Hylo, I’ve got this.”

“You sure, Commander? I really don’t mind beating this one up if you need.”

Sija shakes her head gently. “Thank you, Hylo.”

When Hylo is gone, Sija sits on the small bench at the back of the room. Andronikos paces until he is sure Hylo is out of earshot, then faces Sija. “Okay, fine, I lied.”

“You think?” Sija tilts her head up at him. “You’re a terrible liar, Nik.”

“Dammit, Sith, let me talk.” Andronikos resumes his pacing. “Six years ago, I got a tip from a Zakuulan refugee that you’d been hauled away on an Eternal Fleet ship. I’ve been tearing the Fleet apart looking for you ever since. Nobody steals my girl and lives.”

Sija squeezes her eyes shut and bites her lower lip before responding. “Andronikos--”

“I told you a long time ago, we’re in each other’s orbits until the stars go cold.” Andronikos stops his pacing and kneels in front of Sija, reaching up for her hands. “I never stopped looking for you. We’re forever, Sith.”

Sija allows him to take her hands in his but doesn’t meet his eyes. “Andronikos, we can’t rekindle this. I can’t come back to you like that.”

Andronikos drops her hands and stands, resumes his pacing. “So I’m the only one with feelings here?”

“That’s not it, and you know it.” Sija finally matches his gaze. “I care about you, Nik. But things have... changed.”

“You moved on.” His voice is flat, defeated. After a pause, he scoffs. “It’s her isn’t it - Lana?”

Sija can’t stop the small smile from appearing on her face at the thought of Lana, even under the circumstances, as she sighs and nods. “You knew about her when I met her. You encouraged me to pursue her. You knew I fell in love with her.”

“Well, yeah, but she kept leaving you.”

“Nik, the last time I saw you, I told you to leave and to get our crew to safety and I made a decision that I thought was going to kill me. And I made peace with that. And then I didn’t die, but I might as well have.”

“Sith, you don’t…” He starts to reach for her hands again, but instead just puts his hands on his hips and steps back to let her finish.

“When I came out of the carbonite after-” Sija interrupts herself by drawing in a sharp breath. “-five years, it wasn’t you, it was her.”

They stare at each other in silence for a long moment.

“Well, I’m still joining your Alliance. You can’t just get rid of me.”

Sija laughs, burying her face behind one of her hands. “I wouldn’t expect to.”

When Sija rises from the bench, they stand awkwardly for a few moments. Andronikos, scratches the back of his neck before asking, “Is it too much to ask if I can at least hug you?”

Sija shakes her head and steps forward into his arms. Even after years apart, even with pain and uneasiness separating them for so long, they still fit together very naturally.

“Stars, Andronikos, have you bathed in the last six years?” Sija pulls back from the embrace and grins.

Andronikos feigns indignance, but punches her arm - and not gently.

“You know, I am your commanding officer again, there could be consequences for that.” Sija reprimands gently as they walk together out of the cell. “And Hylo did offer to rough you up for me.”

“Offer still stands, Commander.” Hylo smiles.

“Not necessary at the moment. Hylo, I’d like for you to officially meet the newest member of the Eternal Alliance: Andronikos Revel.”

(All characters except Sija belong to EA/BioWare/the StarWars folks; some dialogue taken directly from the “Pirate’s Life” Post-KotET Alliance Recruitment mission. I picked 3678 for the Fleet Ship number because Nik was apparently born in 3678 BBY, and I wanted the ship to have a number.)

#fictober19 #fanfiction #swtor #swtor fanfiction #sith inquisitor #swtor oc sija #andronikos revel #baby's first fictober #no beta we die like men #this convo broke my heart in game

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panticwritten · 6 years

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Tag Game - 10 Questions x 3

I was tagged by @kclenhartnovels, @luminahart, and @yourbitchystudentwriter for this one, and I’ll answer all 30 questions in this one post! That way I don’t spam anyone’s dash and I also only have to think of 10 questions instead of 30 when I’m done haha.

Thank you so much, you three, for tagging me! I love these questions!

Rules: The Rules: answer these ten questions, create ten of you own, then tag ten people.

I’ll answer the questions under the break!

Round One!

1. What is your OC’s biggest pet peeve?

I’ll just answer for the three OCs of mine that have shown up in Breaking Furnace so far!

Sawyer hates unexpected changes in plan and unnecessarily repetitive noises. Like. Stop knocking after a couple seconds, they promise they heard you. Please condense those hundreds of tiny short messages into one longer one the pings are gonna drive them crazy.

Connor has a problem with people bad mouthing Sawyer, if you didn’t get that from Chapter 5 of Breaking Furnace lmao.

Dominic is touchy about topics dealing with family (”family is so important!” “you can always turn to your family!”). Basically, keep your perfect family narrative away from him or he’ll be forced to remind you that his father was the leader of a human trafficking cartel, which certainly won’t ruin your day as much as you’ve ruined his.

2. What book that you’ve read did you wish you had written, or think you could have written better?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man this is a hard one. When it comes to wishing I had written a book like “Dammit, I wish I’d had that idea!” I would probably say Rot & Ruin by Jonathan Maberry. I still haven’t finished that series, but DAMN that was a good zombie book.

If it’s like “Wow, that’s a good concept but bad execution” hand me the rights to Twilight and Fifty Shades. Please let someone make these relationships healthy and not completely terrifying. Please.

With both, I think I would say Hunger Games. Like, the execution wasn’t BAD, but I read those books and see places where like. It could have been better. Better plot decisions could have been made.

You took Rue from us, Collins, why did you have to take Prim, too?

3. Which OC is smarter than you? What research did you have to do because of it?

Oh boy.

Notably, Jay is smarter than me. I haven’t written a ton with them in it so I haven’t had to do much research at all. They were created through a cloning process in which the Cube was manipulated to make them smarter and able to synthesize information faster than should be possible imo. They don’t have much formal education because of their unusual upbringing (see: Dominic’s father’s trafficking cartel), but they have sizable knowledge in biology, biochemistry, engineering, bio-engineering, nuclear sciences, psychology, pharmacology, computer sciences, geology, topography, and have been doing a lot of research into the way the Cube works (specifically the memory sectors). They’re also continuing looking into cloning. There’s a ton I’m missing but like?? I don’t really think I’m welcome in their labs these days haha.

Also, J (not Jay, easy mistake) is a lot better at thinking on their feet than I am haha. They’re like a prodigy with a sword, grew up learning how to fight and lie. I would die in a fight, whether with fists, swords, or any other weapons. And I’m only a good liar when I take too long to respond to a text/email.

4. If you were doing immersive research for your book, where/when would you have to travel?

I’ll do this one for Savior/Destroy, 100 Shades, and TS because those are the ones that doesn’t take place in a concept of a place. BF and SORH both take place in concepts because of the nature of those daydreams.

For Savior/Destroy, I would really just need to be a fly on the wall of business happenings (same for 100 Shades, ugh), to get a feel for how that field actually works. There’s a lot you can’t research online effectively.

For 100 Shades, I would really need to spend some time in Seattle and Denver. I know little to nothing about either area, and I’ve been putting off research since I’m not writing it yet.

Trollhunters: Subverted would suck because I would have to go on a nice timeline trip starting around 500 BCE in what is now Bulgaria. There’s a lot of running around in that general area for a time. Starting around 1400 CE, I would want to be in Britain. Also, it would be nice to know exactly what happened at Roanoke. And knowing exactly how the woods were in southern Oregon and northern California in the 1600-1800 would be rad.

5. Which character is most like you?

I’ll say. Other than the characters that are me.

Humphrey. He’s nice and sweet and kind of bad at lying except for that one thing that he’s been lying about for so long that it doesn’t even feel like a lie before. My daydreaming is just a much more innocuous secret than his. And he had to switch schools in the middle of a school year, he struggles with mental illness, he’s really not good at talking to people.

The thing is, he doesn’t write and he likes math so who the hell does he think he is?

6. What is your favorite scented candle and why?

There’s like a blood orange Glade candle that I smelled at Target the other day?? It was really nice, but i haven’t really let myself think about scented candles since I’m not allowed to have candles at all in my dorm (doesn’t stop me from having some tealights for my altar but eh).

I like incense, though, and I love voodoo (because it smells like chocolate and death. like, in a good way) and fizzee pop (because it’s like the scent version of carbonation). Coconut is my favorite for writing because it’s the one my sister and I burn when we have writing parties, so it’s just one that I like.

7. Do you have a bookshelf or library? What’s your ideal library look like?

I have a bookshelf over my bed with all of the books I brought to university with me. If I could have my ideal library, like, think Beauty and the Beast scale library full of informational texts, classics that I’ll probably never even read, ongoing series. It should have a faint scent of dust and paper fresh off a printer. There would be a full section for all the books published by the folks in the writeblr community.

It should have an air of being similar to how the Gryffindor common room is described as feeling.

Everyone would be invited to come and complain about writing whenever they want to. It would be warm, with tea and coffee provided in the very back where the books I don’t remember buying are shelved.

8. Who is your biggest tumblr fan of your writing?

Oh man. I would be stuck between maybe?? @breakeven2007 or @jade-island-lives. You two have responded to so much of my writing, and it’s so cool. I know there are others, and I’m gonna take this opportunity to thank all of y’all so much for everything. It means a lot to get these tags and to get responses to things that I’ve written.

9. What tv show/movie has influenced your writing the most? Or, which series do you wish you could help write?

Honestly. Probably. Pokemon. I grew up watching that show and it probably has a lot of influence on how I form stories and how I view different kinds of conflicts.

I want there to be a Harry Potter TV series and I would 100% want to help write it.

10. How do you feel about fanfiction of your work?

Fuck me up.

Round Two!

1. Describe your WIP in such a lamest way possible.

An idiot gets themself thrown in prison because they regret not killing someone.

2. Describe your WIP in the most epic way possible.

A group of friends return to a nightmare of their past to face it head on, but nothing is what it seems. Most of the group has ulterior motives and the monsters lurking in the shadows have plans of their own.

3. What do you usually wear when you write?

Gay clothes. Because I’m gay.

In all seriousness, I have a hard time getting into the mindset of writing if I’m not wearing my ring (which I got from a candle, it has a connection with the Trollhunters daydream), my nostalgia necklace (has my pentacle, a charm from a friend when I graduated, and a vial of my cat’s ashes), and my string of keys (my daydreams tie heavily in with keys and it feels wrong to write about them without the keys on my person). Loose, comfy clothes are also a plus but not a requirement.

4. What part of your story do you enjoy writing the most (action, dialouge, description etc.)? Why?

I like writing tender moments and dialogue. Like, I love writing scenes between me and Connor. I love finding the balance between what needs to be said and what should be left unsaid.

5. Do you prefer to write female or male protagonists? Why?

I prefer to write nonbinary protagonists, but that’s just because I’m nonbinary haha. I don’t really write women, men, or nonbinary folk any differently.

6. What are your plans for your WIP after you have finished writing it?

I kind of want to get it bound so I can have physical copies of it, even if I’ll never be able to publish it.

7. Have you, or would you participate in NaNoWriMo?

I have, sort of. I never got more than a couple thousand words in, but eh. It was fun. My projects just weren’t viable for a quick-write. I want to try again in the future, but November is just such an inconvenient month. It’s the worst month of the year for me, and I don’t see myself being able to work through that enough to write a 50,000 word novel in a month.

8. What do you enjoy the most about your genre?

Haha, that would make it sound like I stick to one genre. I think a lot of it has mystery, thriller, supernatural, and urban fantasy qualities, though, so?? I love the flexibility. “They separated their consciousness from their body?” sure, it’s my universe so that can happen.

9. What was your favourite read of 2017?

I didn’t really read a lot in 2017, which is tragic. My favorite book of the year was The Square Root of Summer by Herriet Reuter Hapgood. I had to race the clock to read this one because I started reading it really close to the end of my senior year. It was so good, and it surprised me in a million different ways. The protagonist had to admit to herself her own shortcomings in the process of facing an uncertain future, an old childhood friend, and crazy physics.

It was a great book, and if you like YA novels without all of the unacknowledged unhealthy relationships I would really recommend it.

10. What are your hopes for your writing in 2018?

I want to finish Breaking Furnace, goddamn it.

Round Three!

1. What inspired your current WIP?

Breaking Furnace is inspired by Escape From Furnace and the daydreams I’ve had in that universe. I have no idea?? Why this universe is the one I got fascinated enough with to live through the events of the original series in different ways 8 times, though, so that’s whatever.

2. what would you describe your writing style?

According to my roommate, “Almost cynical. It’s like the dark parts of your brain mixed with your humor and have this big fucked up baby. But in a good way. Like, a really good way. Like, you wouldn’t actually stab someone, but you would.”

And I think that’s beautiful.

3. What is an Au that you would love to see written about your OCs?

Literally anything where they are happy. Just let them have peace.

4. tell us a funny writing story.

Okay, so. I have a couple.

I’m sure we all remember the ‘eghit’ debacle, when I was trying to type ‘height’ and realized I needed to go to SLEEP.

And also that drunk writing party. Where I drank a single Mike’s Harder Lemonade (not to be confused with the much wimpier Mike’s Hard Lemonade). And really underestimated how much alcohol was in it.

So, here’s the whole story.

My mom doesn’t like cranberry juice, and I poked fun that she had cranberry Mike’s Harder Lemonade. And out of that conversation I obtained permission to have it. So, my brilliant self decided that since sober me, exhausted me, and depressed me can’t get any writing done, maybe tipsy me could.

And I ended up practically chugging it because I drink everything way too fast. And so I was writing, doing some outlining, and after I started to fuck up way more than I wanted to I actually went and checked how much drinking that in less than an hour would raise my BAC and it p much drove me over .04 so I laughed at myself for a solid ten minutes then went to sleep.

When I looked the next day, I wrote a paragraph, outlined ~4 pages of content, and a lot of it was good. If you can discount the typos.

5. do you listen to music while you write? if so what kind typically?

I do! When I’m writing new content, I listen to playlists I’ve made for each of my projects. When I’m editing, I listen to a classical Pandora station because I can not have words in my ears counteracting the words in my eyes.

6. when did you start writing?

A year or so after my sister started writing (or, when she started letting me read her writing), so maybe fourth grade?

7.who’s you favourite OC?

HHHHHH probably Connor. Definitely Connor.

8. who’s your least favourite OC?

Dominiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic

9. do you prefer 1st 2nd or 3rd person perspective?

First person. I haven’t written in third person in awhile, and I’m assuming I would still not hate it, but I like being in a character’s head.

I write in second person if I’m writing creepypastas, which I haven’t done in a couple years.

10. uhhh….IDk just talk about anything wip or writing related, you decide!

I! Am really excited about getting to the point in Breaking Furnace where it completely breaks from the plot of the original series. I grew so much throughout this daydream, and it’s gonna be really cool to share that with everyone.

I really don’t want to spoil anything, but I also really want to talk about everything to do with Breaking Furnace.

Alright!

I’ll tag @panismightier, @breakeven2007, @jade-island-lives, @perringcentral, @angrymagicgirlmarsette, @vwritesfiction, @christinawritesfiction, @cadewrites, @happyk44, @lux-scriptum, but definitely don’t feel obligated to do it!

My questions for you!

1. How much research do you put into your projects, usually?

2. What do you draw the most inspiration from?

3. Favorite candy? How about your OC’s?

4. What are your OC’s star signs, and do their personalities fit their sign?

5. Which OC(s) secretly still have stuffed animals? Which one(s) have them, not so secretly?

6. Does your space have to be clean for you to write/draw?

7. What kind of view would you like to have from your desk?

8. Do you have an OC that doesn’t like to talk about their past? What do they have to hide?

9. Daytime writer or nighttime writer?

10. What trait do you least like in your favorite OC?

#tag game #this was hardcore #i loved it #i love answering questions!!#thank you so much for tagging me!

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colawrites-archive-blog · 6 years

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30 Questions // Tagged by @jsonvoorhees thanks for the tag lovie ~ // Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

1. Nickname: uh, don't really have any. Cola is technically one.

2. Gender: Female

3. Star sign: Cancer

4. Height: 5′ something ?? I thought I was taller lol.

5. Time: 9:02 am ( i started this on my phone in bed, its like midday now )

6. Birthday: 18 July

7. Favourite bands: The National. Bush. WHY?. The Mountain Goats. Daughter (who I only recently discovered is a group, not an individual).

8. Favourite solo artists: Hozier. Florence Welch. Sivu. K Flay.

9. Song stuck in your head: ... Actually nothing atm. My brain rn is [ STATIC NOISES ]

10. Last movie I watched: god, some terrible romance cowboy thing with my mom. One I genuinely paid attention to, though, was Ingrid Goes West. Good shit.

11. Last show I watched: A 1000 Ways To Die. That shit’s fun, perfect dinner was pizza huge ass mug of coffee and death.

12. When did I create my blog: Nov 2016.

13. What do I post/reblog: things I tag about me, quotes, character inspo. Tv/film... yeah., Just whatever I feel like. Maybe there’s more of a theme to others ha.

14. Last thing I googled: 99186 divided by 365

15. Other blogs: got my rp character blogs, a true crime blog, motivational quotes one and one I just reblog depression/adhd/anxiety shit to. I'm not going to tag them cause I made em so I could spam shit. The true crime one is because I was going through a TC phase and didn’t wanna spam any unsuspecting ppl with it.

16. Do I get asks: not unless I reblog a meme, I'm shit at communicating on here tho.

17. Why did I choose my url: I hate coming up with urls and this is a rp/writing inspo blog. Cola's a childhood nickname and I think nicolawrites was taken lol.

18. Following: 78

19. Followers: 52 (idfk how or why but hello)

20. Average hours of sleep: idk but it's never all through the night, lately closer to 8 but sporadic.

21. Lucky number: don't have one. I like 21, 19 and 3

22. Instruments: nope

23. What I’m wearing: pj trousers and a black t I got free at an open bar party lol

24. Dream job: idk, show creator/writer of some sort. Something with either ALL THE SOCIAL CONTACT or full-blown hermit mode for months and it's not a problem...I just wanna be left alone lol

25. Dream trip: Australia, Asia and the Americas... I’ve seen a lot of Europe already so going further afield. I also love the idea of going on holidays for tatts from specific artists.

26. Favourite food: Coffee. The fuck u mean it’s not food??

27. Nationality: Portuguese

28. Favourite song right now: Terrified Demo by Isaac Gracie

29. Last book I read: The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

30. Top three fictional universes you’d want to join: the timeline where Sherlock Holmes was a real person. Honestly, I'd say like X-Men or Harry Potter but those problems are more extreme than my own... I'm fine with reality. #boringanswer

i tag these fines folks, no pressure to respond just grabbing ppl i talk to and random mutuals who seem cool :* : @mitchellwrites @eluvixns @lilaqe @falsereligion @perxlta @oneliongirl @andromacherps @thefoxwrites @lumierc @greedygraveyardgxrl

#( tag game. )#( about me. )#( a lot of these are non answers #like 26?? literally could not tell you what food i like right now #ask me any other day and i'll reel off a detailed list #same with 30 #and with lucky numbers ha #its just happening idk )#( holiday for tattoos sounds SO FUN but first i gotta like...#get some before i go shelling out money for trrips like that asdfghj )

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lonepiper5758 · 7 years

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Long long ago, @ladywiltshire tagged me in an 11 Things Tag and I really wanted to reply, so here goes. Thanks for the tag! and sorry for my extreme tardiness.

1. Do you remember your first time watching or reading Fullmetal Alchemist? What was your first impression?

I saw 2003 first and even on first viewing I thought it was a bit “story of the week” and the overarching story was developed in a piecemeal fashion. This was not helped by the fact that life was very stressful and I’d often drop off to sleep for a bit during the episode. :-/ But I still thought it was pretty good.

Then Second Son learned of Brotherhood and persuaded me that it was even better so I watched it and was BLOWN AWAY! The brilliant story arcs, the amazing and believable characters, the complexity of the world, beautiful artwork, flawless animation, fantastic music, arghhh….. just W*O*W!!!

So now I am finally reading the Manga and the learning all the stuff that was left out of Brotherhood and being blown away by this amazing work all over again.

2. Tell us about The Fave™.

I’m really torn between Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye as The Fave™. And can you have one without the other? But today I’ll say Roy Mustang. He’s this great balance of power and dorkishness. And that’s part of his appeal because a character who is constantly epically badass is boring. I also think he’s appealing because as a leader he’s motived by his desire to protect those around him, and not to exercise power over them. And that makes his relationships with other characters far more meaningful.

He is heroic and flawed and there’s so much we don’t know about him, and how his values developed which ads a layer of intrigue. I just want to sit down and have coffee with him and generally offer to help out with any plans he has going at the moment.

Source: hisokan

3. Do you have a favourite fan work? Fanfics? Comics?

The works of “That Hoopy Frood” (That_Hoopy_Frood) on AO3 impress me hugely. And Elena’s @theysangastheyslew art constantly amazes me with the way she can pack it with narrative and character.

Then there are so many shards of brilliance floating across my dash I’m hesitant to start listing people for fear of omitting some. Suffice to say I hold my mutuals in very high esteem.

4.Hit me with an analysis/opinion you have on the series or characters!

Now I suspect others have said this but, I think that the energy to transmute matter, or at to least to start the reaction, originates directly from the alchemist performing the transmutation. This explains why just about every alchemist we see is pretty lean. Performing alchemy consumes energy and burns body fat.

This is why Colonel Mustang is often napping when he should be doing paperwork.

In the case of Edward Elric, performing alchemy from such a young age has contributed to his underdeveloped stature. As a result of less alchemy/fighting during the months immediately preceding the Promised Day, he was able to grow a bit.

As to other analysis, I have been known to go on a bit about Episode 19.

(Just wanted a gif with Riza. :) )

5. Tell us about a project you have going on! Or if you don’t have one, maybe something you’ve always wanted to write or draw?

No big projects. I’m trying to finish a few things in my WIP folder, all of which are likely to be pretty short. I’m always torn between thinking my writing is waffling on and not pithy, and then wondering why I write short one chapter things?

I’m planning to have a go at Royai Week 2017, even though I suspect I’ll crash and burn because -

Not sure how I’ll go responding to prompts.

I think I write quite slowly.

Life will probably flare up and get in the way.

6. Favourite opening/ending number and why?

I really love the animation in a few opening/ending credits, but for the combo with the music my favourites are -

Opening 1 “Again” by YUI - great song, heaps of energy and nice synergy in the editing. Love the bit where Ed and Al start unraveling. (And of course the now infamous “Harder Colonel”.)

Ending 4 “Shunkan Sentimental” by SCANDAL. - again I like the song and I like the visual of travelling through the tunnel.

7. Tell me about a scene that really touched your or made you realize something about yourself.

A scene that always hurts is just after Bradley murders Martel while she is inside Alphonse. How Alphonse is just sitting there in a pool of Martel’s blood. For a young man who is so compassionate and caring to be so powerless to help and to have the trauma of her lifeless body cleaned out from inside him. It always says something to me of how there is a cost when we try to help.

Showing genuine care and compassion will cost you, so be prepared.

8. OTPs! Who are they? Why are you WEAK FOR THEM??

OK, so as mentioned above in Q2 Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye are The Fave™ so no surprise that OTP = Royai!

The obvious care, trust, understanding, dedication, fondness and just everything they have for each other, of course they love each other, that’s part of the package. It’s all the stronger because they don’t get to be smooching and holding hands. Their relationship, with all its pragmatism and unspoken truths is the result of intentional choices and not transient feelings. There is a maturity about them and they stick together no matter what is thrown at them.

At this point I’m going to melt just thinking about them and rely on quoting a post by @mylieutenant because I think she says it so well.

“The thing with Roy and Riza is that they don’t have to get sexual, romantic, or even touch each other at all, for it to be clear they have chosen each other as partners in a common goal for a long term, possibly for life. In this partnership there’s trust, respect, communication, affection, and even need.

This much is established in the series. So, does the fact that there’s no conventional sign of courtship make this ship any less canon?”

9. Funniest headcanon you’ve ever seen. Go!

This is vain but I think a funny hc is one I put forth about Major Armstrong -

“Major Alex Louis Armstrong personally employs a group of tailors who work endlessly to re-supply him with uniforms and other clothes after he rips them off. Homeless people in Central who find his discarded clothing use the fabric to build temporary shelters.”

Remembering that I am Tumblr sub-atomic - this one post seemed to double my followers in one afternoon????

10. What spurred you to join the fandom?

WelI… I really like FMA and one bored day about a year ago I thought, I want to look at pictures of Mustang. (This is possibly unusual for my demographic, but hey, so what!) So I googled and somehow ended up reading some FMA fanfics on AO3 and I thought “Jeeze! You can do this??!! I wanna try!!”

So I started having a go at writing and posted a couple of stories on AO3. Then reading stories on AO3 and some folks referenced things on Tumblr. It seemed Tumblr might be a fun place for discussion and to share stories. So I very tentatively wandered into Tumblr-land and have found a really cool corner filled with friendly, creative, helpful people.

And if that fits the definition of “join the fandom” that’s it!

11. Definitely the same question… have a fandom meltdown here and tell me why you love your fandom or show/comic so much!

Yeah? Why do I love this show so much? Sometimes I catch myself fangirling in my mind over Roy Mustang and then I think, hang on, this a fictional character and I’m 20 years his senior, so just grow up and calm down. Then I see a screen cap or something and I’m thinking good god he’s fantastic. Is it just that he’s a good looking representation of a bunch of interesting and admirable character qualities? Is it the combination of character and narrative? What?? Why am I like this?? There is No Hope. I am lost!

So there’s my answers. I really enjoyed thinking this through. Thanks again for the tag. I’m not tagging ‘cos it was soo long ago…. Thanks if you’ve read this and happy day to you. :)

#fmab #fma #tag #raving on a bit #roy mustang #riza hawkeye #royai #alphonse elric #ladywiltshire #i finally did it #lone but not lonely #and now I'm going to sleep

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archiveacademics · 4 years

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Tags, Terminology, and Tropes

So let’s talk tags.

No, not gang tags. Tags on fanfic.

If you’ve interacted with fanfic, or even just fandom at large, you’ve likely experienced tags. Hell, if you’ve used Tumblr or Twitter or I think even Facebook at this point, you’ve experienced tags. Tagging is, by now, a digital way of life, a way to organize the chaos that is this giant cultural archive and project of capitalism that we call the internet.

So. Why are tags important?

I’m glad you asked, hypothetical reader! Tags are important for a number of reasons. For one, they allow others to find your fanfic. Whether you read on Tumblr, Wattpad, or AO3, there are thousands upon millions of stories to wade through and it can be hard to find exactly what you’re looking for. Hence, tags.

Fansplaining has a great episode called “Cataloging Fandom” where they discuss tags from an academic standpoint. If you’re into that sort of thing definitely check out that episode. Meanwhile, Tumblr user salt-of-the-AO3 has a great post explaining the who, what, when, where, and why of tagging. It’s a great starting point if you’re just learning about tags. They even have a list of tags to get you started, whether you’re writing something and want to post it or looking for something new to read.

Say, for instance, you want to read a story about Harry Potter. You type “Harry Potter” in the AO3 search bar. But wait!

You don’t have the time, much less the energy, to wade through over 240,000 stories. So maybe you decide to narrow it down a little. You still want to read Harry Potter, but maybe you want to focus on Draco Malfoy, because you’ve got a thing for bad boys.

Yeesh. That’s better, but still not great. So now you’ve got to decide: do you want to read a Draco love story or a Draco adventure? Since you’re a hypothetical construct and an extension of myself right now, you want to read a love story. Results for “Draco Malfoy, romance”?

Ok, that’s a bit more manageable, when compared to 240,000. But it’s still a lot to sort through. So we’ll give it one last shot. Who do you want Draco to be in love with? Not Harry (that would shoot our search results up through the roof again). Not Hermione, or Ginny. You’re looking for something to read, not trying to sort through thousands of hits. So let’s go with Lavender Brown.

Eh, good enough. You’ve got it down to under 1,500 hits. From here you can either start sifting through the results to find something you like, or you can go even more down the rabbit hole and try another search by character and event. Draco and Lavender go to the Yule Ball. Draco and Lavender at a wedding. Draco and Lavender in a coffee shop AU...

The tags are your oyster, is what I’m saying. Or the world is in the tags. Or some clever reuse of a common phrase that replaces one of the words with “tags.”

But Chris (you hypothetically ask) what the heck is an AU?

Ah, my dear sweet hypothetical reader, I’m so glad you asked that, because it brings us to the terminology part of the post.

To start with, a fanfic writer that goes by the name of Moonbeam has a great Fanfiction Terminology master post. It covers a lot more ground than I’m going to get into today, so if you’re very curious, it’s a good place to poke around and find out what things mean. There’s also an article by Aja Romano called “Canon, fanon, shipping and more: a glossary of the tricky terminology that makes up fan culture” that’s a really good starting point for this stuff. Thirdly, the podcast Fansplaining has an episode on this topic called “~fanspeak” you can listen to. Or you can just continue reading.

Now, back to AUs.

AU stands for alternate universe. An AU usually takes the characters of a story and puts them in a new setting. There are many popular types of AUs from coffee shop AUs to high school AUs to magical AUs to either a historical or a modern AU (depending on whether the story itself is modern or historical). An AU can also change the plot of a story, taking familiar characters and sending them down different narrative paths. What if someone didn’t die like they did in the canon? Or what if they did die at a critical point? Either change could send your characters down a wildly different narrative path.

So in your hypothetical search for a story, maybe you decide you want to see Draco Malfoy the barista fall in love with Lavender Brown the Instagram Influencer who comes to his shop everyday. Or maybe you want to read a story that takes place at Hogwarts where Lavender becomes obsessed with Draco instead of Ron. Either can be considered an AU.

Now, I used a word up there that may or may not be familiar to you, depending on how deeply you live in the world of fandom.

Canon.

Canon is the original, the progenitor, the common ancestor from which all fanfic descends. Harry Potter in all it’s seven book glory is canon. As are all seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And however many there are of Angel. And all the comics... What I’m saying is, canon is the original work that fanfic is based off of. It’s the official, some might say the “real” version, but there’s a bit a value judgement there, so I wouldn’t. Anyway, that’s canon.

(If you don’t already, you’ll get why this is funny in a minute.)

The word “ship,” in the fandom sense, is short for “relationship.” In the vaunted old days of the early internet and the X-Files fandom, fans who wanted Mulder and Scully to get together began to refer to themselves as “relationshippers” or “r’shippers”. Eventually, the term became shortened to simply “ship” and became both a noun and a verb. A ship is the pairing of characters you want to see together. To ship is to want a pair of characters to get together.

In our hypothetical example, for instance, you ship Draco and Lavender.

If you’re still a bit confused by the term, the podcast Fansplaining has a great article about it called “To Ship or Not to Ship,” and they also ran a survey that garnered over 16,000 responses which are gathered together and presented for your perusal here. And last but not least they produced two episodes called “The Shipping Question” and “The Shipping Answers.”

Alright, I’m going to go through a couple more definitions as fast as I can because this post is getting long and I haven’t even gotten to tropes yet.

So, in no particular order I present...

Slash: A word used to denote a male/male pairing, original so called because of the “Kirk/Spock” fanfic of the Star Trek zine era.

Fem Slash: Like slash, but with women.

OTP, or One True Pairing: Your favored pairing in a fandom.

OC, or Original Character: A character you introduce into a story. So maybe the new transfer student to Hogwarts or the new Starfleet lieutenant on the Enterprise.

Headcanon: Your beliefs about the motivations of a character or potential plot points of a story that may or may not be supported by the canon (but are at least usually not actively disproved by canon).

Fluff: A fanfic that is short and sweet and not at all angsty. There’s is generally not much plot advancement but the stories are comforting and often domestic.

Crossover: Where characters from separate works are thrown together. For instance, I have a friend who writes Batman and One Piece cross over.

Gen fic: A story without an overt romantic element. While pairings might happen they happen despite the story, not because of it.

Filing off the serial numbers: When a fic writer scrubs their story of all recognizable copyright (names, places, vampires or wizards or whatever) in order to publish it. Think 50 Shades of Grey.

Self insert: An original character that is obviously, consciously or not, based on the author.

Mary Sue: A character who is “special.” The word has a pretty negative connotation these days. It’s usually a self insert character who is better and stronger and smarter than everyone around her and without whom the problem of the plot could never be solved. The line between what is or is not a Mary Sue (or Marty Sue/Gary Stu if the character is male) is pretty blurred these days, with trolls sometimes shouting that any female self insert character is a Mary Sue and thus obviously sucks. Elizabeth Minkel, of the Fansplaining podcast, wrote a great article about the issues of Mary Sue and the patriarchy and she and Flourish discussed those issues in an episode of the podcast.

There are so. Many. More. I could go on forever talking about different terms. But these are some of the big ones that I tend to throw into casual conversation, and, well, Google is your friend. If you don’t know the definition of something, look it up. I still have to do that sometimes.

Now, let’s talk tropes!

TVtropes.com has a great explanation about what a trope is:

“A trope is a storytelling device or convention, a shortcut for describing situations the storyteller can reasonably assume the audience will recognize. Tropes are the means by which a story is told by anyone who has a story to tell...

Tropes are not the same thing as cliches. They may be brand new but seem trite and hackneyed; they may be thousands of years old but seem fresh and new. They are not bad, they are not good; tropes are tools that the creator of a work of art uses to express their ideas to the audience. It's pretty much impossible to create a story without tropes.“

Tropes in fanfic are fun. “Five Tropes Fanfic Readers Love (and One They Hate)” is a another survey run by the folks over at Fansplaining. You can read the article above or listen to the episode on the topic. They discuss the variety of different tropes that are either loved or hated by the more than 7,500 respondents to their survey.

As TVtropes discusses, “Tropes are Tools.” They aren’t good or bad in and of themselves. They simply exist. Fanlore.com has a great list of different tropes. AU fic itself is a trope. And thus we’ve come full circle.

Thanks for sticking with me this long, this post kind of got away from me.

Make sure to tag your tropes, folks!

#fanfic #fansplaining #tropes #tags #terminology #au #canon #ship #harry potter

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