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messedupfan · 2 years

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Bound To Fall | Leigh Shaw x Reader (Request)

Summary: Based on this anonymous request. Things are rocky between Y/n and Leigh after she starts a new job. Can things be mended before it's too late?

Warnings: angst, some smut (18+), emotional damage. (I will not be covering therapy bills and neither will B. So read at your discretion)

Red text is written by @abimess

A/N: Surprise!! It's a collab!! Special thank you to B for helping me with this story, it wouldn't be as strong as it is without you! Definitely wouldn't have a title either! It took me a few drafts to finally come up with something for this but I'm glad I did. I apologize for the wait, anon! Also Matt isn't a teacher in this. He does something in writing. Fasten your seatbelts she's, they's, and gay's, it's going to be a bumpy ride. I hope you all enjoy it! And requests are still open.

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You stir the spoon around in the tea you made. You intended to drink it but have been too upset to even take a sip. It was closing in on midnight and she still wasn’t home. She hasn’t called or texted once since she left. She hasn’t answered or responded to your messages. She promised that she wouldn’t be out too late but it’s well past the curfew the two of you had agreed on. Briana comes bounding down the stairs again.

“Where’s mommy?” She pouts with tears at the brim of her dark hazel eyes. “I can’t sleep without my goodnight kiss from mommy.”

You sigh as you turn to look at your child. “I gave you extra kisses. Those didn’t work?”

She shakes her little head, “I need mommy’s kisses too.”

You stand from your stool and walk over to get her back to her bed. She is resistant at first but you promise that her mom will be back soon. Briana agrees to go to bed and wait a little bit longer. After tucking her in, you return to the barstool in the kitchen and continue to wait by your cell. Hoping that the call you receive isn’t a hospital informing you that your wife is gone.

It’s another hour before she is being led into the house by her co-worker. She is giggling and when she sees you, her eyes widen. “Oh my goodness! You stayed up? You didn’t have to stay up!” Leigh walks out of the guy’s arms and stumbles over to you. “Don’t I just have the best spouse ever?” She has her arms around you and she kisses your cheek. You clench your jaw to hold back the anger that is poisoning your body.

“You didn’t tell me that Matt was going to be there,” you say with a tight expression, trying to keep your cool.

“We ran into each other at the club–”

“I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to my wife,” you snap at him.

Matt holds his hands up in surrender. Leigh giggles, “Aw don’t be a grumpy pants. The overprotective jealousy thing was hot in college but now it’s not necessary.” She begins to kiss your face excessively but you were too upset to let her have any effect on you. “Uh-oh, looks like I’m going to be in trouble.” She mutters while moving her face away. “Thank you for taking care of me, Matt. You can go now,” she says, waving him goodbye.

“Are you sure that you’ll be okay?” His implication upsets you even further.

Who was he to think that you would harm your wife? “She’s home, of course she’s okay.” You respond in a short tone.

“Respectfully, I would prefer to hear that from her,” lucky for him, Briana comes running down the stairs for her mom.

Leigh smiles at her coworker as she confirms that she’ll be fine and the man finally leaves. You don’t miss the longing look he gives her just before he exits. It makes your blood boil. He didn’t want her when he had her and now he wants to complicate the life the two of you have? “Bri! Why are you up past your bedtime, sweetheart?” She does her best to speak clearly to the little girl who was clinging to her leg but still has a little slur in her speech.

She giggles and beams up at Leigh, “You sound funny, mommy.”

“Mommy is just tired, like I know you are! Come on. Let’s get you to bed, baby girl. You go first, I’ll be right behind you,” she sends the girl off and she shakes her head at you. “She’s not going to want to get up for daycare tomorrow. You were supposed to put her to bed on time.”

You begin to laugh sarcastically at the fact that she is upset with you when you were the one that was home and she wasn’t and she hasn’t been for months. “You so do not want to go there with me right now,” you say in response to her asking what was funny. “I’ll help you up the stairs and into bed but I’m sleeping in the guest room again tonight.”

Leigh frowns but doesn’t question it. She does the night routine that Briana is familiar with and the little girl is finally able to sleep. A soft smile makes a quick appearance on your grumpy features when you admire your sleeping child. It disappears when Leigh reaches out to hold your hand. You pull away and gesture for her to walk ahead of you, keeping your distance from her. Only to ensure that she gets to the room safely under her condition. You’ve heard one too many horror stories of someone dying from a slip while drunk. You might be upset with her, but you still care about her wellbeing.

Stopping at the door, Leigh turns around with tears in her eyes. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here,” you reply.

She shakes her head, “No, you’re not.”

“Goodnight, Leigh,” you walk away from her to go to your room. It was technically the guest room, but it was slowly becoming your room. Another thing you hated.

The next few days are tense, but the two of you put up a happy front for your daughter. She didn’t need to know how unhappy her parents were and she was still too young to pick up on it. Unfortunately, you and Leigh are left with a mountain of unresolved issues which only continues to grow. That is, until you come home from work one day to find Leigh sitting in the living room waiting for you.

“Bri is with my mom for the night,” she states before you can rush upstairs to avoid her.

You sigh and set your messenger bag on the hook by the garage door. “You know that I prefer to watch her when you go out.”

“I’m not going out,” she says.

Your face contorts in confusion, “Then why isn’t she home? We had plans to do a few of those big puzzles and watch one of the popular animated movies that got added to streaming.”

“We need to talk and we can’t do that while she’s home, so I had my mom take her.” Leigh explains.

You slump down in a seat across from her. “Maybe not talking is the only thing saving this marriage,” you say bitterly.

Leigh sets her jaw to hide how sharp your words are. “What happened to us?” She whispers. She hasn’t been able to figure it out. One minute, she’s in the best marriage she could ever dream of. Her family was happy. She was happy. You were happy. Then it was as if overnight all of that changed. You grew distant and cold, treating her the way you would treat the rest of the world. She didn’t understand it and she didn’t like it. “Is there someone else?”

The question makes you look at her. “I don’t know. Is there?”

Leigh’s eyebrows knit together. Why would you accuse her? She wasn’t the one who changed. Unless she was the one. No. Her confusion wasn’t noticeable. Was it? What did you know? How much did you know? Is that why you changed? “No, there is only you. There has only ever been you.” She watches you scoff with disbelief and she can’t believe the reaction. You have always trusted her when she told you those words. You never doubted her or her faithfulness to you. “What did I do to make you feel this way? How can I fix it? How can I fix us?”

You stand up from your seat, prepared to find any excuse to walk out before you say something you might regret. But a bitterness inside you decides that she needs to hear whatever it is that you have to say. Even if it’s something that could damage this family beyond repair. “You know, when you started working late nights I tried to tell myself that you were just doing your job. I foolishly believed that I had nothing to worry about. That you loved me and our family and you would never do anything to jeopardize it.”

“I wouldn’t! I haven’t!” Leigh pleads with you.

You ignore her and continue on. “So imagine my surprise when I find out that the person that was keeping you at the office late was none other than your ex-boyfriend. At an office party nonetheless!”

“I love you. I didn’t think it would be a big deal,” she swears.

You continue to ignore her. “But I chose to not let the humiliation of the people around your office being so surprised you were married to me and not to him get to me. No, I felt safe and secure in our relationship. Leigh, my best friend, mother of our child, my loving and devoted wife would never cheat on me.” She bites her tongue, wanting to defend herself but knowing there was no use. You have the floor now and you won’t let her take it. “I continue on, like an idiot, trusting that the reason my wife is at work late is because she has so much important stuff to do that she can’t make it home in time for family dinner. She at least makes it in time to tuck our daughter into bed and she shares a bed with me at night. That’s what matters right? That you came home to me and weren’t sleeping in someone else's bed.”

Leigh knows where this is headed and she wants to tell you that you were ridiculous in your assumption. That nothing happened at all the night she claimed to have spent the night at the office. But she vowed to never lie to you, she just hasn’t figured out how to tell you.

“Did you know that I stopped by that night to bring you food?”

The reveal makes her heart drop. “You what?” She whispers.

“We had made plans that night. You left a message, telling me that you weren’t going to make it home for the date we had scheduled. That you were looking forward to it and were bummed because all you had eaten that day was potato chips from the vending machine,” you recall the voicemail that you’ve played over and over. Trying to figure out where she lied to you, because it all seemed to be the truth but what you found that night led you to question everything. “I felt bad, so I got the babysitter for Bri anyway and I ordered some food from your favorite restaurant and I came to your office to drop it off. Maybe even try to convince you to have a break with me. So we could reconnect and save this marriage!” Your voice rises in the last sentence as the anger from that night returns and Leigh flinches. You weren’t the type to ever raise your voice often, especially not to her.

“Why didn’t you?” She asks. If you had walked in, she wouldn’t have been carrying this guilt with her for what happened that night. You could have stopped it. Why didn’t you stop it?

You scoff at her question. “I didn’t want to interrupt,” you say bitterly.

“What did you see?”

“I heard you laughing when I was walking through to find your office. I thought maybe you were on a break watching some dumb video on the internet. Then I heard his voice. I wanted to believe there were other people working late with the two of you but no. It was just you and him.” You give her a moment to say anything, maybe tell you that at some point there were others, but she lets you continue. “When I finally did see you, you looked cozy on the couch in his office. You looked just like you did in college. You had that same dopey look, like you could never love anyone the way you did him. I know it well, you used to look at me like that… before he came back into our lives.”

Leigh shakes her head, there was no way she was giving him that look. Or was she? That’s what he claimed when she tried to tell him it should have never happened. He said he only crossed that line because of the way she looked at him. Maybe she had to accept that she did. It wasn’t intentional but it happened. You wouldn’t say it if it didn’t. How can she tell you that she didn’t mean it? That would put into question if she means it when she looks at you that way. How was she supposed to convince you that she does?

“I watched and I waited for you to act the way a married person does. Stop him from getting closer. Keep your distance. Keep things friendly, or strictly business. But then you asked him why he was sitting so far away. And to tell you more about his semester abroad. The one that resulted in the end of your relationship. You asked him if he ever regretted losing you–”

“I wasn’t in my right mind, we were celebrating. Did you miss the bottle of wine or did you just not have enough of a view?” She snaps at you. She wants to continue to deny that she invited it. That as a married woman, she wanted someone else.

“That’s no excuse, Leigh! Do you know what I do with the people that hit on me when I’m drinking?” She stumbles on coming up with an answer but you interrupt her. “Nothing! I go looking for you!”

“I might have had some unresolved issues. It’s complicated.” Stressed out, she moves her hands through her long hair.

You cross your arms over your chest and shrug, “Uncomplicate it for me, Leigh. If not for me then for our daughter. She deserves that much.”

Leigh presses her lips together and bounces her leg as she tries to make sense of something in minutes that she hasn’t in months. “Not everyone can be so fucking perfect all of the damn time. Okay? Some of us have flaws!”

You can’t believe that is her defense for her actions. You sit one arm on the other, with one laying across your chest and use your index finger and thumb to rub your eyebrows. “Did you know that I would have forgiven you, had you told me about the kiss that night?” Her eyes dart to your direction but it's so tough to look at you when you won’t look at her. “I might’ve even done so without the details. But,” you shrug and scratch your nose. “You didn’t tell me. Every day that you didn’t tell me, it just made it harder to find a reason to forgive you. It made it harder to believe that you weren’t cheating on me the whole time.”

Leigh drops her head shamefully but she doesn’t want this to be her fault. You were there, you should’ve caught her or had this conversation with her sooner. Why didn’t you? Were you only trying to make her look bad? Did you hate her? Were you trying to destroy this marriage?

“Then the big project was done and I thought I could finally have my wife back. I had plans to try and reconnect, even some to talk about what I saw. I was going to be calm and understanding. But then you started to avoid me. Every attempt I made, you just pulled away further. I wanted to believe… I still want to believe that you were doing what you said you were doing. Then the other night, you come home well past Bri’s curfew, drunk, and hanging off of him. What am I supposed to think? Am I being an idiot? Am I the asshole here, not seeing something? Am I trapping you in a marriage that you don’t want to be in? Do I not love you enough? Do you not love me at all anymore?”

“No, that’s not why I–” she stops herself. Any explanation would only hurt you further but there is no way to heal you without explaining it. “When I started working there, I didn’t know that being around him would bring back so many old feelings. I thought they had died with our relationship. It was confusing. I knew that I loved you, I still do. But there was a time when I thought I might still love him. I needed to know, and I didn’t know how else to figure that out. So, yeah, I had a few drinks with him. I talked about things I otherwise wouldn’t have and when he kissed me, I let him. But it didn’t go beyond that. I felt so stupid and ashamed and I betrayed you. There isn’t a doubt or an excuse for it. It happened and I am sorry. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take all of it back.”

Feeling as though you have been hit by a freight train, you fall back into your seat. The two of you sit in silence for a long period of time. Processing and not knowing what to say. You can't figure out where you went wrong that she felt the need to be with someone else. That she felt things towards someone who hurt her time and time again. That’s when you realized you needed to cut yourself out of the equation. It wasn’t about you. It was about her. But why? Why would she do this to herself? Why would she risk losing what she had? Was she not happy with it anymore? Was there anything you could do or was she on a self-destructive path? How could you help her? Could you even help her?

Meanwhile, Leigh is sitting there waiting for you to blow up. She also can't understand or let go of the fact that you let it happen. That you let her get away with it for so long. That you didn't catch her. That you didn't talk about it until now. When it might be too late. “If you already knew, why didn’t you say anything?” She finally asks.

You scoff, “I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. I wanted you to come to me. I thought I was very clear that you could come to me about anything and everything. But maybe I should’ve just caught you in the act or something. I don't know.” You look at your hands as you play with your wedding ring. You took it off to remember the day she put it on you. To remember that happiness. But all you can think about is maybe she didn't share in that happiness.

“Why didn't you?” She observes you carefully as you frown at the ring that once made you light up a room with a grand smile.

“Because, Leigh, you were. You were supposed to think about me and our daughter, our family, and what you were risking. What you might lose. Over a silly kiss.” You rub your hand over your eyes with your elbow resting on the arm of the chair. It was the first piece of furniture that you bought for the house. She had pointed it out while the two of you were window shopping one time. When the two of you bought the house, she hadn’t known that the deal had been finalized until you brought her back and the chair was sitting in the middle of the living room with a big red bow and a sign that welcomed her home.“You were supposed to stop yourself. Come home, and talk about it. I told you about the time an intern kissed me at work! The day it happened.”

“Yeah, but you have no history with that person. You didn’t have to worry about my reaction the way I did with you.”

“What did you think my reaction would be?”

“I,” she isn’t really sure. She had stressed over many scenarios, but she couldn’t think of a single one to tell you. “I don’t know.” She drops her face in her hands and grips her hair. “I was afraid and confused, everything was confusing.”

You sigh, you didn’t like seeing your wife in pain. But you can’t sit next to her. You can’t comfort her right now, because then nothing will get resolved. She could kiss you and you could lose yourself in her and then the two of you will think that everything is okay until everything builds and it isn’t anymore. It needed to be figured out today. You couldn’t continue to live the way you have the past few months. “What is it now?” You ask, trying to be the understanding person that you wanted to be for her. There were very few people in this world that you had this kind of patience for and she knows that, she appreciates that you haven’t completely given up on her.

“It’s… well, it’s less confusing. I know what I want, who I want,” she looks at you when she clarifies. “I know what I did was foolish and selfish and you deserve so much better than that.” Leigh grabs a tissue to blow her nose. “I’m still scared to death that I fucked everything up. I haven’t given you any reason to trust me anymore. I can swear to you that those nights I wasn’t here, I was with Jules or with friends. Hiding from you so that I didn’t have to tell you what I did. I can promise that the other night, Matt was just there. He wasn’t invited, I tried to avoid him but seeing him there… The guilt was awful. I just kept drinking. I don’t think I’ve had that much to drink in years. My friends tried to cut me off early and Drew was supposed to take me home but Matt offered. He doesn’t know, no one does, so he let him take me home. I couldn’t tell him why it was a bad idea.” She pauses, playing with the tissue. “I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t believe me.”

“Good,” you start, “because I don’t.” Leigh nods and wipes some of her tears. She was at a loss of what to do now. In all of the scenarios in her head, she never came up with this one. As for you, all you want to do is cry and scream and throw things but you don’t. You keep yourself cemented to the chair. Not even trusting yourself to pace around the living room. Afraid you’ll lash out on the innocent objects around you. Setting your ring on the coffee table in front of you, you rub your palms together. “Was it worth it?”

“Of course not,” the lack of hesitation gives you some relief but not enough. “What can I do to fix this?” The desperation in her voice tugs at your heart and part of you wants to forgive her and let it go. But what if that leads her to do it again? What if forgiving her isn’t enough for you? What if you can’t let it go?

You shrug, “I don’t know. I…” you sigh, not having a solution. “I wish things could go back to what it was but we can’t, ever. Before is gone now. What comes after this… I don’t know if we’re going to make it.”

Leigh gets upset by this. “So that’s it? One meaningless kiss and you’re ready to throw all of this away? You’re just done! You’re just giving up?” Now her voice is raised.

“That’s not what I said!”

“Isn’t it thought?”

“Look, it wasn’t just a meaningless kiss and you know it! I almost lost you to him once! And the entire time the two of you were together I had to stand by while he treated you like crap and you allowed it!” She doesn’t try to cut you off when you mention the relationship she had with Matt back in college. You were right. It was awful, she never felt as low and insecure as she did when she was dating him. “Damnit, Leigh! I thought what we had was special! To know that a part of you still wanted him! After how he hurt you! Clearly there’s more going on that you need to figure out and I can’t help you with it!”

Leigh nods, “You’re right, I need to work a few things out. I’ve been selfish these last few months and I don’t know. I just. Fuck.” She gets up from her place on the sofa. “I’m just like my father.” She walks away because she is beginning to feel like the walls are closing in on her. She steps out onto the back porch to get some fresh air. You let her be on her own, give her some space. What she did to you wasn’t nearly as bad as what her father had done to her mother. Or was it?

His affair was more physical, something that didn’t last once he was caught. But this was deeper. This was emotional. This was with an ex of hers. But she’s right, it was one kiss. It could have been worse. She could have been sleeping with him. Part of you still thinks she did but you wanted to hold onto what she said. That she was with anybody but him. But then, just the fact that she compared herself to her father raised some flags. You get up and walk over to the door that led to the backyard and lean on the frame. She was holding onto the banister and looking out to the garden the two of you made together. It was full of dead plants having been ignored by the both of you. Was that what this marriage was now?

“Are you,” you stop, almost not wanting to ask, too afraid of the answer. “Are you like your father?” You get out through a shaky tone. She is quiet and you take that as a bad sign. “Was it more than a kiss? Did you sleep with–”

She spins around with wide eyes, “No! That is not what I meant when I said that!” You ask her to elaborate what she did mean by the statement. “When things got tough for him, instead of seeking help he just blew up his life even more. Instead of tending to the minor, fixable problems he had, he created more problems that he couldn’t come back from. Problems that could have been avoided. That’s what I’m talking about.” She takes a breath, you could almost see her clarity in her expression.

“If I had just told you what losing my job meant to me. What it felt like only getting one job out of the hundreds I applied to. How I didn’t feel comfortable at first because I’m pretty sure the only reason I got it is because my ex was the person in charge of hiring. That I hated that my only options were this job and going back to work for my mom. That I wasn’t confident in my work anymore because the person reviewing all of it was him. That I haven’t recognized myself in almost a year.” She pauses and takes a small step closer to you. Waiting for you to take a step back. You stay.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have been there for you, Leigh,” you say.

“I wish I knew,” she replies. She doesn’t know why she didn’t, she just knows that she should have.

Not being able to handle the distance from her anymore, you step off from the door frame and hold your arms open for her. Leigh crashes against you almost instantly, letting the sobs rip through her. You hold her close and reassure her that you’re still here for her. No matter what.

The two of you spend the rest of the evening winding down from the intense conversation. You order food but the both of you don’t have much of an appetite and you end up pushing the food around your plate until Leigh says that she’s tired. You admit that you are drained as well and help put the food away. When the kitchen is clean, there is an awkward tension of not knowing what to do next.

“Will you sleep with me tonight?” Leigh asks, reaching for your hand.

You’re hesitant but you let her take your hand. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to have sex right now,” you admit.

She keeps her eyes to your hand, noticing that you haven’t put your ring back on. “I know that, I meant just sleeping. I’ve been having a hard time sleeping without you. I miss sharing a bed with you.”

You sigh, figuring there couldn’t be too much harm to share the bed with her for the night. “I suppose that is okay.” Pulling you by your hand, she takes you to the bedroom and gets ready for bed. It was a strange experience for you. Returning to the bedtime routine for the two of you after months. For the first time, you felt like a stranger in your own home. There was an awkwardness that never existed between the two of you before. The first thing that drew you to Leigh was how comfortable she made you. Why was that stripped away? Was it from this one night of confessions? Or was it built from the months of neglecting the relationship?

When you climb into bed, neither of you knows how to settle in next to each other. You wanted to put a wall of pillows between the two of you and she wanted to be held by you. So that she can’t request anything from you, you turn away from her and tell her goodnight. She says it back, adding that she loves you. You don’t say it back. You did still love her. It just… it hurt now and that was confusing.

Leigh peacefully falls asleep, but you spend the night tossing and turning. Not sure what to do. She needed to get help but would she get help if you stayed? Did she need an extra push? Or would that only give her more reasons to hide things from you? Maybe you needed a break. Maybe you needed to get away for a bit. She has had plenty of time and space away from you. But she needed help right now. Was it fair to abandon her when she finally opened up to you? The racing thoughts frustrated you. There was no one answer to any of these. None of them seemed simple.

In the morning, you tell her that she needs to see a therapist and that the two of you should do couples counseling. She agrees. To show that she is serious about mending the things she had cracked, possibly broken, she makes the appointments later that day. The two of you didn’t talk to each other much once Briana was home. Instead, the three of you went out for frozen yogurt, saw a movie and then had dinner. Then came home, did Briana’s bedtime routine, and she asked you to join her in bed again. You do it, because you need to. In order to see if things were getting better on your end.

Several months later, after many sessions in couples therapy, you wake up in the middle of the night with the fear that you were drowning. Nothing had been resolved because neither of you were truly trying at the sessions. The both of you had said way more that one night than you had in the many expensive hour long therapy sessions. You were beginning to feel like the only way you would know if you still loved Leigh, is if you are without her.

So, in the middle of the night, you write her a letter explaining why you’re not next to her. You tell her that you needed some space and that you desperately hope this will only bring the two of you closer. But that if it doesn’t work out that way, your hope is that neither of you hate each other if things have to end. You quietly pack a bag, stopping at every small movement she makes. Then you get in your car and drive, uncertain of your destination. You didn’t want to go to a friend's house because then it would broadcast your marital problems. You didn’t want to go to a hotel because that felt like a step towards divorce. Not the direction you wanted to head. So you just drive and think.

Leigh’s heart drops when she finds a note instead of you. Her heart breaks as she reads it over and over. Why was it that when you thought things were good, she was silently suffering and when she thought things were getting better, you were? What caused this seemingly sudden imbalance and why couldn’t the balance be restored? She isn’t able to dwell on it for long because Briana comes running into the room requesting a fun breakfast. The kind only you can make. She forces back the tears and hides her pain behind a smile as she promises to make something just as special.

You return home late that night. Surprising Leigh. She was sitting in the living room with a movie on, crying. She wanted to blame the tears on the film but she knew they were from the troubles between the two of you and with herself. You open your mouth to say something but she holds her finger up to her lips before pointing to her lap. Briana was fast asleep. You nod and sneak your way up the stairs, needing to take a shower.

At one point during your drive, you pulled over to a hiking trail and went to the top to just think. You sat in the sun for hours, a little too close to the edge without realizing. When you decided it was time to stand up, the sand and rocks had gotten soft and crumbled under your feet. You slipped off of the ledge but was lucky enough to grab onto something sturdy enough to pull you up. When you got back up, you didn’t even process the cuts you got, you just stood there and stared at how far of a drop it was. You could have died and no one would have known what happened. Your wife would have thought you abandoned her. Your daughter would have grown to believe the same.

It really puts into perspective what your life is and what you want out of your life. It wasn’t this. On the hike down, you got sick and stopped to throw up, close to passing out. You were lucky that some hikers found you and helped you to your car. One drove you to the hospital in your car and the other followed in their car. You were dehydrated, had a concussion, a few bruises and required a few stitches but were otherwise fine. You take your time in the shower and when you get out, Leigh is sitting on the bed.

“I thought you needed your space,” she starts.

You play with the waist strap of your robe as you lick your lips, “I did. Then something happened.”

Leigh looks down at her hands. “Did you,” she pauses to consider her words carefully, “Were you with someone else?” She looks back up at you with tears sitting on the brim of her eyes.

You shake your head, “No, I went on a hike and,” you open your robe slightly to reveal the stitches and scratches on your side. “It got pretty fucking scary.” Leigh jumps from the bed and frets over you, asking what happened and if you’re okay and why you didn’t call. “I’m fine, I’m still a little startled but I’m fine. I’m alive. I’m home. I’m here, with you.” You reach out to hold her face with your fingertips as your palms need to have a new bandage on them. “But it made me realize that neither of us are happy and neither of us are trying to make each other happy. We can’t live our lives like this. We can’t pretend things haven’t changed or that certain things didn’t happen.” She closes her eyes, knowing that you’re right but not wanting to let you go. “We do need space. We need to find ourselves again. We’re lost, the both of us, and it’s killing us. Maybe the time apart will bring us back together. Maybe it won’t. But we can’t keep going the way we are.”

“What do you want?” She whispers.

“I’m going to move out,” you state, “but I’m not giving up.”

“You almost died and you realized that you don’t want to be with me anymore. I don’t think we should drag this out longer than it has to be,” she says more to protect herself from the pain of hearing you end the relationship. She’s not sure she can survive it.

“That’s not true,” you try to get her to look at you. She doesn’t so you continue anyway. “It made me realize that I miss you too. That you aren’t you and I’m not me. I kept blaming you for not telling me what you were going through but I couldn’t even see that you were drowning. I avoided you as much as you avoided me. I hid behind our daughter. Leigh,” you call her name and use your knuckle to lift her chin up to you. “I don’t want to hate you because we forgot how to communicate with each other.” She meets your eyes and for the first time in almost a year, you don’t look away from her. Leigh’s breath catches at the intensity of your gaze and her eyes flit down to your lips. It’s been so long since she’s had them and she can’t even remember what they felt like against her. She moves closer and you let her.

Leigh finally presses her lips against yours, gripping your robe as if she can keep you from slipping through her fingers further than you already have. You let her kiss you, but you don’t respond as eagerly. You savor the feel of her soft lips, her taste, the desperate way she pulls you closer while being cautious about your injuries. It tells you that she needs you. That she still loves you. This is the first time that you haven’t wanted to pull away or run from her. This time you ignore all of the reasons not to and you allow for things to go further.

The moment you both fall onto the mattress, her body beneath yours and you fitting into her in the way that used to be so perfect, your first impulse is to run away. But she traps you there with her legs around your waist, her hands still trying to work on your robe. So you stay there, your mouth on hers, wondering if they fit as perfectly as hers did with his, if she slid her tongue against his like she's doing with yours now. You wonder about it until you can’t bear it anymore, then you move your lips down her jaw, ignoring everything in your mind screaming at you to stop, paying mind to that - although smaller, just as eager - part that tells you how much you missed her, how much you want to feel her.

When Leigh's hands finally undo the knot that kept the garment secure around your body, your own find her pajama shorts, pulling them down so desperately that her breath gets caught in her throat, surprise and excitement overcoming her entire being. Maybe that's all you needed. A moment to reconnect, to be reminded of what it feels like to belong to each other, that you still belong to each other. She has no idea, however, that the reason for your desperation is that you need to feel something immediately before you break down, intoxicating your mind with something other than the voices screaming inside your head. But she lets the lower part of her clothes slide off her legs to the floor anyway, and pushes the robe you wear off your shoulders so that it joins with her garments.

It's easier not to think about things when your fingers slide with ease in between her folds, and much more so when her own works between your legs, Leigh's teeth trapping your lower lip when the sounds she loves so much start to leave your mouth unintentionally. The warmth in the pit of your stomach spreads throughout your entire body, the nails of her free hand scratching your back and her moans helping just as much as the sensation to keep the doubts at bay. But the moment your high takes over you, you close your eyes, and the scene of that night in the office behind your closed eyelids is almost as vivid as witnessing it with your bare eyes.

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe you shouldn't have done this at all. Leigh's loud moan and her walls squeezing your fingers let you know she's reached her own high. But they also make your eyes water, your chest tighten. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You should be thinking about your wife and your wife alone - underneath you with her breathing ragged, not with her ex-boyfriend's lips all over her. The idea makes your stomach churn.

In Leigh's head, however, in the last few months, there has never been a more hopeful moment than this, the undone knot below her belly also undoing some of the tension in her shoulders. You are hers and she is yours. Things might be hard and you might have lost each other for a moment, but she can feel it now. Things would get better. "I lo-" Her lazy words are cut off by your lips pressed to hers harshly.

You can't hear that. You can't say that. Hell, you can't talk right now. The heat of the moment leaves all your emotions running wild. Any words spoken now would be a mistake, a path of no return. So you use your mouth for something else, running it all the way down her body, tracing the path you know drives her crazy, scolding yourself for thinking so much about what it was like for her when it was with him. Her hands in your hair when you reach your destination work like an anchor; grounding you to that moment with her, to your wife.

But then she's cumming again, against your lips this time, and when she tugs on your hair for you to come back up, it's all back again. All the pain, the doubts, the insecurities. You love her. You know you do. And there's still hope in you that it will all work out. Even if you can’t see how right now. She smiles at you when you climb your way back to her and smiling back at her is so easy. Why can't it all be this easy?

"I'm gonna get you some water." You say the first thing in your mind, an excuse to get out of that room before you explode. "I can go with you." Her eyebrows are frowning but the smile is still on her lips. She seems more at peace than she's been in quite a while, and you find yourself hating yourself for not trying as hard as you could. "It's okay, you must be tired."

"Will you come back?" Her question is uncertain, her eyes scanning yours with concern. You don't know what gave you away. Whether it was your voice, your expression, or just the fact that she knew you better than anyone else. But you force a smile anyway, ignoring the lump in your throat to kiss her forehead. "Of course." You can feel her body relaxing against yours at your reassurance, nodding as she lazily runs her fingers down your back in a gesture that was meant to be a caress, but which makes your skin burn in every place she touches.

"Okay." Leigh gives you her confirmation, and you waste no time standing up, ignoring the pain in your body from the injuries of your hiking incident. You can feel your wife's eyes following your every movement, but you avoid her gaze at all costs as you put your robe back on. You flash her a short smile as you reach the door, however, receiving an - although content - uncertain one. And, finally out of the room, you don't fight the tears in your eyes anymore.

In the morning, you wake up with the searing pain the adrenaline and pain killers from the hospital had protected you against. Leigh is quick to take care of you. She cleans and redresses your wounds, then she quickly goes out to have your prescription filled so you don’t have to. The rest of the day she lets you rest and comes to your aid whenever you need. You were relieved that she spent most of her time outside of the room with your daughter. Anytime she was in the room only made it more confusing in your mind. It reminds you of that time in college, before the two of you got together.

You had gotten so sick that you couldn’t even get out of bed. Your roommates had abandoned you because it was close to the final exams and none of them could afford to get sick. Not that you blamed them, if it had been any of them you would’ve moved out just to be safe. Besides, it wasn’t like you were close with any of them. Leigh was the only person that cared to check on you when she noticed you weren’t in class. You tried to push her away, but she stayed and she took care of you. She made you feel things you never felt for or from a person before with that act of kindness. Shortly after that, you asked her out and never regretted that decision once. Being taken care of by her now made you want to stay.

But once you’re rested and no longer need the medication to manage the pain, you sign a year lease on an apartment. She is livid when you are packing your things. Throwing your clothes at you as she rips them out of the boxes. You let her get it out, at least she wasn’t holding back anymore and it made you proud. When she broke down in tears, you held her until she fell asleep. You waited until she left for work before you moved your boxes into your car.

Settling into your apartment is the worst night of your life. You wanted to be home with your daughter. You didn’t want to be alone in this empty place. Nonetheless, you survive the night and the next and the next. You don’t make the place feel like home, you don’t even set up the second bedroom for Briana. You don’t want your daughter to be here ever but that means you see less of her. It hurts but you made a promise that you weren’t giving up and that would be giving up. The boxes you have are the only things you use for your clothes. The only piece of furniture that you buy is a mattress and box spring because you need it in order to get sleep. But the quality of rest you get is very low since you don’t have your family with you.

The only time you see Briana is when you need to pick her up from school and drop her off with either Amy or Jules. Sometimes you extend the visits by getting a treat with her, or even picking up some new popular toy that she absolutely must have. Briana is happy about those things, until she asks you when you’re coming back home. You always disappoint her with not having a set answer.

You see Leigh at the couple therapy sessions that have gone from quiet and polite to screaming matches which progress further to finally hearing each other out and even making each other laugh again. It was much like riding a roller coaster and it made you recognize that life was a roller coaster. Full of highs and lows, good times and bad. That life will always be that way, regardless if you give up on something or keep working on it. You were grateful that not only you chose to but that she chose to keep fighting as well.

At the end of the most recent session, your therapist gives the strangest homework assignment you’ve ever been given in your life. She assigns the two of you to go out on a date together. You were to take her out on a date sometime between this appointment and the next one. You didn’t like the idea of it being something that was expected of you. Something like that should be something more natural. Something you’re allowed to do and not have to do. But Leigh seemed to be hopeful and looking forward to the date.

The two of you leave the session side by side and you aren’t sure when you’re supposed to ask her. Or even if you’re supposed to or just set a place and time. Reaching the parking lot, Leigh lets you know what direction her car is parked, yours happened to be on the opposite side of the lot. So before you separate, you figure it would be best to set a plan. “Listen, I want to ask you out. I do, but,” you sigh, putting your hands into the pocket of your pants. “What does your work schedule look like? So I won't pick a bad day for you.”

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.” She plays with her car keys nervously. “Well, a few weeks ago, someone told Matt about our separation,” she gestures between the two of you and you worry about where this was going. “He requested that I stay behind one day and I thought it was going to be constructive feedback about something I had submitted and was waiting to hear back on. But instead he confessed his undying love for me and tried to kiss me.” The annoyance in her tone and features amuse you and you choose to focus on that instead of getting upset. “He didn’t get close enough, of course, I shut it down and I just quit. I gathered my belongings and got out of there. I’m back to working for my mom, so any night is good for me.”

You stand there, stunned. “Wow, okay, how do you feel about that? I know the last thing you wanted to do was go back to that place.”

Leigh shrugs with a slow smile, she looks so much lighter. You hadn’t realized how different she looked until now. “It’s actually not so bad. I started working on my first novel since I have so much free time. Besides, I get to be with Bri more than I have since I went on maternity leave. Nothing is better than that.”

You smile, a little jealous about how much she gets to be around your daughter. “Yeah, I bet it’s amazing. She, uh, she mentioned something about you being home a lot. I just thought that meant no more late nights.” You take your phone out to check your calendar and pick a day that works best for you. “How does that sound?” You ask sheepishly. It was strange, having to ask the woman you married out on a date. You felt like you were doing it all wrong, but with the way things were, it didn’t seem like there was a right way.

“Yeah, it works. Although, I have an early curfew,” she says in remarks to Briana’s bedtime ritual.

“Right, of course. I promise to have you home by eight. Eight thirty the latest.” The two of you go your separate ways and the rest of the week you have a new giddiness that you haven’t felt since the beginning of the relationship. You make reservations at a nice restaurant, making sure to let her know where you’re taking her. You have your best outfit dry cleaned and you even get your car washed.

The night that you show up, knocking on the front door with two chocolate roses, she opens the door dressed in a honey plaid blazer, a black blouse, and black jeans. She is stunning and you’re left speechless. It was a new outfit and you felt bad that you didn’t do the same for her, but she knew that you weren’t as involved in your clothing. In fact, she’s the one who helped you upgrade your style. It wasn’t a full on makeover kind of thing but you appreciated that she helped you with owning clothing for special occasions.

You hand her one of the roses. “One for you and,” Briana comes running to the door to greet you, “one for you!” She excitedly pulls you through the door to show you something. It was the first time in months that you’ve been inside your own house. Everything looked so different. Nothing was, maybe a new throw pillow or piece of framed kids artwork, but nothing significant was different. And yet, it all looked different. Felt different. You look over at Leigh, emotions starting to build up, “Are you ready to go?”

“Uh, we have to wait for Jules,” she responds as she spins the stem of the fake flower between her fingers. On the first Valentine's day the two of you had as a couple, she didn’t want you to do anything crazy special. She wasn’t into the corporate holiday, but you still showed up to her dorm with a chocolate rose and took her out. That time it was a simple dinner at a fast food place and to a movie because that’s all that you could afford. What you did varied each year but every Valentine’s after that, you made sure to buy her a chocolate rose. One year you even tried to make one, you failed but she loved it anyway. The last one you gave her was the year she was pregnant with Briana. She had all but forgotten about them. It was one of those little things that Dr. Robbins talked about. “I thought you might like some extra time with Bri,” she grins at you.

“Thank you,” you say and let Briana take you on a tour of your home. She thinks that you have forgotten it and she needs to remind you of what everything looks like. She ends her tour at the wall of photos so that you can admire them. There were pictures of you and Leigh when you were young and in love. Baby pictures of Briana. Photos of family events. A few pictures of Jules with different partners. She always requested that Leigh take them down after every break up but she never did. You know it was because Leigh did it to mess with her little sister which normally amused you until you noticed a new picture on the wall. It was the picture from the office holiday party at Leigh’s work. It isn’t a picture of you and her, it was of her and Matt.

Leigh joins your side to look at the pictures with you. She makes some small talk, mentioning the memories of photos she points out. Then she notices that you’re not really paying attention to her and she follows your gaze. “Oh shit,” she quickly removes it from the wall. “I told Jules to get rid of it! I can’t believe this is where she put it!” She struggles with opening the frame. “I can explain this, I promise. It’s not at all what it looks like. I swear I didn’t even know it was up here.”

You quietly take it from her hands and stare at it. They are posing together because someone must’ve requested it. His arm is around her and he is smiling at the camera. Leigh is holding a flute of champagne and smiling at him. Her expression is soft and it looks similar to the ones around the rest of the wall, where she’s looking at you, but there is something else there. Something darker. She was in pain. She wasn’t in love with him. She was just feeling the way she did when she was first with him. Insecure and lost. You weren’t the one who made her feel that way so it wasn’t associated with you. It was associated with him. She thought what she was feeling toward him was romantic but it was just a cry for help. You clench your jaw as you tap the wood of the frame against the palm of your hand. “Where did this come from?”

“He sent it, with a note and some flowers. I tore up the note and threw out the flowers. It came in a different frame and I gave it to Jules because she liked it. She was there when it was delivered. He had it sent to my new job. I guess she reframed it to get back at me or something. It’s a sick joke,” she explains and reaches to take it from your hands but you hold onto it. “Stop, it’s just a stupid picture,” she says in a whisper.

You nod in agreement, it was a stupid picture. But it reminded you where you failed as a spouse. Which made it less stupid. “I think we should burn it,” you suggest. “Just to see if it will reappear again. Maybe he got a witch to enchant it or something.”

Leigh scoffs, “You’re joking? I’m over here having a heart attack and you’re making jokes!”

You shrug, “I’m pretty serious about burning it but if you find humor in it, good for you.” Then to let her know that you are making light of the situation, you break into a grin and she shakes her head at you. Jules rushes into the house and she freezes at the sight of you holding the picture in your hand. “Oh good, we can go now.” You hand the picture frame to Jules, “Not funny, but nice try. Have fun with Bri.” Jules shuts her eyes and curses to herself as she holds the frame.

“Leigh,” she starts an apology but her sister tells her to save it. She really didn’t care to hear it. The two of you say goodnight to Briana on your way out. Then walk hand in hand to your car.

During dinner, you can’t help thinking how different things feel with her. It was a good difference, but it was an adjustment. It’s been a while since you’ve shared a meal with her and even longer since you’ve had a decent conversation with her. She talked mostly of her life without you and it hadn’t hit you how long the two of you had been separated for. And you didn’t realize how much you put your life on pause for. Leigh was talking about having started a book club with her friends who meet every other week to discuss the books they choose. That Briana had really gotten into art more than ever before. She was also having playdates regularly with her new best friend that you hadn’t heard of before. She talked about how helpful her mom and sister have been since the separation. That she even has a better relationship with her father and how much her therapy has been helping.

There was so much going on in her life that you were having a hard time imagining a place for you in it. Other than the couples therapy where you’re back in her life for an hour a week. She was fine without you. She doesn’t need you. “What about you?” She asks when she notices how quiet you’ve been. “What have you been up to lately?”

It takes you a moment to come up with an answer that didn’t sound sad. You didn’t want to drop the good mood she was in but you weren’t able to match her level. “Uh, I go to work, I pick up Bri, and then I go home. I don’t do much else, except of course the thing with you.”

“Oh,” she isn’t sure what else to say. “You know that you can always have Bri over if you–”

You shake your head, “I didn’t want that. I,” you sigh and drop your fork to your plate. “My apartment isn’t furnished or decorated. I don’t want it to be a permanent place. It’s not supposed to be. When we started this, I thought we would still see more of each other–”

“That’s not how we give each other space.”

“I know,” you sigh, “I know but still. I didn’t think that I was supposed to have a life, you know outside of trying to get ours back.” Your tone was heavy with upset and accusation.

Leigh drops her utensils, “I’m only doing what was asked of us. Which was to find ourselves outside of our marriage. No one told you to sit and wait for things to get better.”

“Don’t give me that, I like who I am in our marriage. I like staying home with you and Bri on a Friday night. I don’t like other people, I don’t like going out, I never have. You know that,” you respond.

“I know, but sometimes I like to go to dinners with my friends. The kind that they bring their spouses along to. I always felt, I don’t know, left out because you wouldn’t go to those.”

“This again? Leigh, every time I go to those I upset everyone. I thought we agreed it was better that I just stayed home.”

“Yes, this again. Maybe you could try treating other people like they are people. Like the way you treat me and Bri. Why can’t you be funny and kind to everyone else?”

“Because I don’t care about everyone else!” You close your eyes to center yourself and lower your voice. “It’s hard for me to talk to people. You know that.”

She nods and crosses her arms, “I do, and I think it might be something you should work on. I love our time alone together, Y/n. But I need more. If you were in my shoes, you would too. I don’t always enjoy the company of others but sometimes I do and I want to be able to share that with you. The way my friends can with their people.”

You mirror her and cross your arms over your chest. “You’ve changed and I’m happy for you. That’s what you wanted to do and I still care about you. But I’m not changing who I am. I like who I am,” you shrug.

She nods a couple of times before slightly leaning over the table to keep her words private as the two of you are getting the attention of others. “So basically, you’re just waiting for me to come back to you. To a marriage that wasn’t working. After all of this work I’ve done on myself to fix this marriage.”

You shake your head, “What are you talking about? Plenty of people would be happy with our arrangement.”

“Well I’m not any of those people and I’m telling you that I’m not happy about it,” she states sharply.

“I see,” you poke your tongue around the inside of your mouth. “I think I’m ready to go home now,” you wave the waiter over to ask for the check and Leigh puts up no protest. When you drop her off at the house Jules asks how it went and you only thank her for watching Briana. That night you start looking for ideas for Briana’s bedroom. This was going to take longer than you originally thought and you couldn’t keep going on without being around your daughter.

At the next session, Leigh is quick to tattle on you for not working on yourself and the therapist agrees with her. You haven’t been putting in the required work in order for things to progress. You needed to find yourself outside of the marriage. You needed to have interests other than the bare minimum. You needed to have a life that wasn’t just staying home, eating frozen meals, and watching the entirety of streaming channels on your laptop. You needed to stop waiting.

So you start looking online for things to do outside of work. You go to a local activities center to sign up for different clubs to test them out. You find no joy in any of them and get yourself kicked out of three. You also start seeing a therapist for yourself. Well, you cycle through a different therapist a week for five weeks. Unable to connect with a single one, until you give up and settle for the sixth one. After two months of going to a therapist, you didn’t feel any different in where you stand. But you offered Leigh a compromise to host more dinner parties at home, not seeing the reason to go out when they could come over. She liked the idea but only if you agreed to go out at least once a month. Reluctantly, you agree.

Dr. Robbins congratulates the two of you on the progress and assigns another date. This time you have more stories to share with her. Hectic things that happen at work, the things you do with Bri when she’s over at your apartment, the hobbies and activities you’ve failed at and the stuff you actually took a liking to. “Now, it’s not a group thing like your book club. But trust me, individually adding those beads to the sticky paper has really kept me sane the past few months. I can show you some of the ones I’ve done so far!” You reach for your phone to show her but she stops you.

“It’s okay, I can see them the next time I drop Bri off. No devices, remember?”

“Oh, right,” there was a small list of rules that the therapist gave the two of you for how to go on the date. The most important one being no distracting electronics of any kind. “How is the book club?”

Leigh smiles, “It’s been good. I um, I actually gave them all of the chapters that I have finished so far when no one could agree on a book and the feedback was very positive and some of them even had helpful ideas. It was really amazing seeing people so engaged with something I wrote.”

“That’s amazing! I’m not surprised at all, you’re a talented writer and I’m so glad that you finally see that.” She thanks you for the compliment with flushed cheeks and you smile back at her. It goes quiet for a bit after that. The two of you enjoying the food in front of you. “I would love to read it when you’re ready to share it with me,” you eventually say.

“Oh, yeah, I’ll email it to you as soon as I get home.” You thank her while taking a sip of your drink and she stops moving her full fork as she recognizes a certain piece of jewelry on your hand. “You put it back on,” she points to your wedding ring.

“Oh, yeah, I did.” You flex your fingers out in front of you. “My assistant asked if the divorce was finalized and it put me in a bad mood. I hadn’t even thought about it since I took it off. I wasn’t even sure that I brought it with me when I moved out but, well, there it is.” You resume eating and the rest of the meal, Leigh has a smile on her face. She finally felt like she was going in a good direction with you.

At the end of the date, you walk her to the front door but she doesn’t open it as fast as she did last time. “Well,” she says and you look at her cluelessly. She lets out a soft laugh as she licks her lips. “I’m pretty sure this is the part where you kiss me goodnight.”

“On the first date?”

She gives you a look that says are you kidding me? “Technically it's our second.”

“Ah, because the first one went so well,” you say playfully.

“And last time I checked, we’re still married,” she says matter-of-fact.

You look to her hand to see her wedding ring then drop your gaze to your hand and nod, “That’s true.” You weren’t sure why you were being hesitant so you lean in and just as your lips are about to meet, Jules opens the door startling the two of you apart.

“Oh, that’s why. My bad, carry on,” she shuts the door. You and Leigh share a laugh but she still expects a kiss. Now you know why you weren’t so quick to kiss her. You were still so in love with her that you would probably throw all of the work out the window and come back home and never attend another couples session. The last time you kissed her you allowed things to go further than you probably should’ve. Or, kissing her could make you realize that all of this work might not be worth it anymore. That it could be easier to go your separate ways.

So much can be undone by this one kiss and that idea almost seemed ridiculous to you. Until you remember why you’re here in the first place. You try to block it out of your mind. You didn’t need to go back there. You need to be here, in this moment, with her. Leigh starts to get discouraged by how long it’s taking you to make a simple move on her. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe she should’ve waited, or maybe she should’ve just done it herself. Then you place an intimate kiss on her forehead. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. “It’s too much right now. I’m not there yet.”

She nods in understanding and places her hand on your cheek, she rubs her thumb back and forth as she admires you for a moment. “It’s okay, another time,” she says hopefully but you aren’t certain there will be one. You nod, for her sake, maybe even for yours, and wish her a goodnight.

Because the date went so well, you’re encouraged to go on more. But it felt… odd. To be dating the woman you married close to ten years ago. It almost felt like an entirely new relationship. The two of you were living separate lives for the most part; homes, friends, etc. Nothing was what it used to be, which is a tough pill to swallow but people aren’t meant to stay the same forever. They’re meant to grow, evolve. This was the two of you evolving, separately but somehow still together. The fact that the good elements from your old relationship still existed and only seemed better than before was comforting. As for the old problems, the two of you discover them and deal with them as they arise. Instead of pretending they don’t exist or hoping they disappear on their own.

Physically, you’re still keeping your distance. You hug her at the end of the dates, or kiss her forehead, or caress her face. But never go further than that. Still working through the issues you have with being physically intimate. As for emotionally, you don’t believe there was ever a time when you and Leigh were so vulnerable and intimate with each other. Yes, the both of you could argue knowing each other more than anyone else, but there were so many new sides that you were learning of. Not just from her but from yourself as well. You were learning how to better communicate with other people and even managed to meet people you actually enjoyed talking with. You hadn’t realized before that your friends were really Leigh’s friends.

Now that you started meeting with a few people after work to have a few drinks every so often, you started to feel less lonely. That was part of the problem with Leigh. The only time you didn’t feel alone before was either with her or with Briana, that wasn’t fair to either of them. Now, you had people to talk to that you weren’t paying for and they had similar interests that you didn’t have to introduce to them and explain over and over. It was fun and it was easy.

Then they planned a dinner where they included their significant others and the loneliness returned. You finally understood what Leigh meant when she mentioned that she felt left out. Yes, there are moments when everyone engages on a topic, but there are also the moments when people have conversations amongst themselves. It was awkward and you missed Leigh. You know that she would have come if you had invited her. But you needed to experience this without her in order to understand.

The session after that, you apologize for being stubborn and for isolating yourself from the world for so long which in turn isolated her from it. To reward the impressive strides of progress the two of you have made as individuals and as a couple, the next assignment is for the two of you to make your own moves in the relationship. Without her input or guidance. The therapist encouraged the two of you to still come to counseling, because it’s good for even the healthiest of couples but it wouldn’t be weekly and she was no longer going to give assignments. What happens from here, it is up to you and Leigh.

That created some anxiety for you but you already knew what you wanted to do. It was something you had been wrestling with for sometime. But as you’re walking to your car, this time parked next to hers, Leigh startles you by saying, “I think we should have sex.” You lose balance when you trip over your own foot but you catch yourself before you make an even bigger fool of yourself. “I just… We haven’t in a long time. You know, not since…” she trails off.

“I remember,” you give her an apologetic glance. During one of the sessions you had to talk about why you still left after that night. What was going through your head when you slept with her. The hard part wasn’t telling her how you felt. The hard part was hearing what was going through her mind when she made love to you that night. She was heartbroken and angry with you to find out that you used her the way that you did. Not only that you slept with her and made her feel wonderful during one of her most vulnerable nights. It was the hope that you gave her that hurt her the most. Part of you even knew what that night would mean for her. But you did it anyway. She has since forgiven you as you have forgiven her. But that didn’t mean the reminder didn’t sting a little.

Leigh gingerly places her hand on your forearm, “I’m not saying right now or tomorrow. I’m just putting it out there.” She works her hand up your arm as she stands closer to you, so that you can smell her perfume. It was the kind that drove you crazy and she knew that. Clearly, she’s had some ways to improve the relationship on her mind as well. “I want you,” she says in a low, alluring tone. “I need you,” she tucks her bottom lip under her teeth as she meets your eyes with hers. She was doing all of the old tricks she knew that used to hypnotize you. Fortunately for her, they were still working. You were having a hard time not kissing her. But in the parking lot of the therapist's office was not the place you wanted to kiss her for the first time.

“I’ll, um,” you swallow thickly, “I’ll think about it. We should uh, we should go. I think we have to um. You have a babysitter for Bri right? Wouldn’t want to have to pay her more than you already do, right?” You adjust the collar of your shirt and Leigh takes pleasure in watching your squirm. She wasn’t certain if she could still have that effect on you. It was almost better than if you gave into her right now.

She shakes her head with a soft giggle, “She’s at your apartment with a sitter. Remember?”

“She is?” You look away from Leigh to collect your thoughts. “Right, right, she is. Well, I have to go,” you finally step away from her. “I’ll call you later,” you say as you unlock your car. She nods once as she confidently struts to her car, knowing that your gaze is on her. You start the car when she starts hers and it’s taking everything in you to not jump into her car and give her what she wants right then and there.

You take the long way back to your apartment to cool off. Leigh had awakened something inside of you that had been asleep for far too long. You go through a drive-thru to pick up dinner for you and Briana because there was no way you were going to be able to focus long enough to cook. You just had to get her fed and put to bed so that you could go to sleep. That is, if you can fall asleep.

The task proves to be a difficult one when all you can do is think about being with Leigh. It doesn’t help when she sends you a short video to tease you. It wasn’t anything too revealing, her face wasn’t even in the frame, she was in her pajama shorts and had on one of your t-shirts that you left behind. But the shirt wasn’t covering her stomach. She had it bunched up to show her smooth skin as she ran her fingers down the length of her abdomen and stopped at the top of her shorts. All you could respond with was calling her evil. She wished you goodnight and you wanted to throw your phone across the room just so you could tear your eyes away from the video. It was so simple, yet it triggered many pleasurable memories of being with her. Shaking your head, you reach your hand into your pajama pants knowing that you wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise.

The next day, when you knew she was at work, you send her a spicy text message which she opened near Jules. Her sister didn’t see anything, she wasn’t even paying attention to Leigh. But the second she realized what the message was, she covered her screen as if you had sent a dirty picture. Her reply made you laugh as she scolded you for trying to distract her at work. You told her it was payback for making you lose sleep.

This led to a series of teasing each other when either of you least expected it. That is, until one day Briana is playing on Leigh’s phone and you had sent a link of something you wanted to try with Leigh. Thankfully, Briana didn’t see anything, all she did was excitedly return the device to her mom. She was always happy to see you and Leigh talking to each other. Leigh texted you immediately that the game was over and why. You couldn’t agree more, you don’t even want to think about what Briana could’ve seen had the situation been reversed.

On a date with Leigh, this time at your apartment for a special meal you made instead of an expensive restaurant, you try to figure out how to tell her what the next step in the relationship it is that you want to take. You make a nice setting, she has a glass of wine, there are candles lit around. A few in the kitchen, one on the coffee table, and another in the center of the dinner table. Not enough to maintain lighting. But enough to keep the place smelling nice. You have the lighting on a low setting, to give off the romantic candle lit date effect which she appreciates the efforts you were making.

Leigh was hopeful this evening would lead to more physical events. She wasn’t expecting sex, but she was expecting something more than a hug. Though, she most definitely had the former on her mind. It was almost impossible not to. She thought you were the most attractive person she had ever laid her eyes on and she was human. She has needs that only you could fulfill.

She was sitting at the kitchen counter, watching you cook and imagining being with you again. You were going over your speech in your head as you tried to keep a light conversation between the two of you. Effectively ignoring her bedroom eyes. She hardly responds, most of the time you have to repeat yourself because she was lost in a daydream. When you serve the food you have her move over to the table and fumble trying to bring up why you asked her on this date in the first place. “So, my landlord emailed me the other – what are you doing?” You were sitting close to her and she was taking full advantage, she had one hand on your thigh as she ate her food with the other.

Leigh shrugs and plays it off, “Nothing. This is really good by the way. Where did you get the recipe?”

You clench your jaw to focus on her question and not how good her touch felt. “My,” you clear your throat, “it was something my mom taught me during her last visit.”

“Awe, I miss your mom. She finally started talking to me again, but she’s still not happy with me.”

“Yeah, she’ll come around. Eventually,” you grab your water and gulp half of it down because your mouth has suddenly gotten very dry. Her fingers were only lightly caressing the fabric of your jeans, something that wouldn’t normally affect you so much, but after a long time of abstaining it was making your entire body scream for her. Now, with your mind completely invaded with thoughts of Leigh, you throw your entire plan out the window. It could wait a little longer. This, however, could not.

"Yeah, I was actually thinking of- humpf!" Whatever Leigh was about to tell you was cut short by your lips crashing against hers, so eagerly that she almost knocks her drink. But the loud surprised noise she gave woke you up immediately, widening your eyes as you pulled away from her - fighting the heavy magnetic field that keeps your body so close to her. "I-I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking-" Now it's your time to be interrupted, her mouth coming back to yours at record time. "Don't apologize, I like it when you don't overthink things, just... Do what you want."

"What I want now is to take you to my bedroom." You let her know in a hoarse voice, your lips still tingle as you gaze at her own, watching as the corners of her mouth lift up in a smirk. "Well," she starts in a husky voice, leaning forward, smiling proudly at the way your eyes descend to the low cleavage of the dress she so carefully picked with those exact intentions. "What are you waiting for?"

Your eyes snap back up to hers as you smile softly. In silence, you stand up from your chair, holding your hand in front of your body for her to take. Leigh does so with a smile of her own on her lips, making a point of keeping her body as close to yours as possible as she places herself on her feet. But the little distance between your torsos is still too wide for her, so she uses her free hand to wrap it on your tie, pulling you closer until your mouth is back at hers again.

The action makes you groan as you remember all the other times she's done it before. Of you coming home from dates before and after you got married, or even just those times you got back from work and were greeted with your wife with a fire that only you were able to put down. And it also made you remember how this one was the first real kiss you’ve shared since that night. The last time you touched her in all these months. No wonder why you missed her so much, why her tongue sliding against yours is driving her crazy.

You pulling her up by her thighs surprised Leigh greatly, but she took no time wrapping her legs around your body, deepening the kiss as her arms loosely enveloped around your neck. As you take her to your destination, eyes closed and mouths messily pressed together, bumping into pieces of furniture along the way is inevitable. But both of you laugh every time you do, and the sound of her laugh makes your heart fill with such love you can't even process it. The way she smiles against your lips lets you know she's feeling the same way.

When you reach the bedroom, you press her against the closest wall to keep her steady. But your back was still hurting sharply, and you groan as you put her back on the floor. "Sorry, I guess I'm too old for that." You comment sheepishly, but the giggle she lets out is content, and she looks at you so dearly that you feel like there's not a single reason to be embarrassed. "It's okay, that was hot enough." Leigh answers good-naturedly, and now it's your time to laugh, shaking your head with amusement before kissing her again.

This kiss, however, is completely different from the others. Your lips meet slowly, savoring the taste you haven't had in so long, the feeling you've been craving more than any of you thought possible. Leigh makes her move first, her fingers working on your tie with expertise, loosening around your neck before taking it off. Before the item even hits the floor, her hands are on the buttons of your shirt, undoing each one as you trailed your kisses down her neck, sucking the sensitive spots you know drive her crazy.

When she reaches the last button, her hands are back on your shoulders to push the shirt off. But this time you stop her, moving your fingers - previously holding her waist - to her own shoulders, pushing the thin straps of her dress to the sides. Before you have to ask, Leigh spins on her heels, her back to you as she pushes her hair to the side, giving you a better view of the dress zipper. So you take advantage of the exposed skin to kiss the back of her neck, smiling against her as you hear her holding her breath.

As you finally pull the zipper down, you put some distance between the two of you, just enough so Leigh is able to step out of her dress comfortably. But you catch yourself staring at her figure as the thin fabric slides down her body, exposing her body to you. You have seen it thousands of times, but you're absolutely certain you will never get used to the heavenly scene - much less when you noticed she was wearing no bra underneath her clothes, only her underwear covering her sculpted body.

"Is everything okay?" Leigh asks when she turns around and catches you frozen in place, somewhat uncertain. "I'm just admiring you." You answer, unable to do anything other than smile. Your wife offers you a shy smile, her cheeks taking on a slight shade of pink. The whole composition takes your breath away. "You're gorgeous."

"And you're the most beautiful human being I've ever seen." She hits back as she approaches you again, her hands finding their way to your chest underneath your unbuttoned shirt. "Someone's gotta tell you what a mirror is." You joke with your hands on the bare skin of her waist, making her smile with amusement, muttering softly against your lips, "Shut up." She does it for you, however, kissing you again at a deliciously slow pace that makes your head spin.

As she finally gets to push your shirt off your shoulder, you grab her buttcheeks, pressing her body against yours and savoring the way she moans against your mouth. The sound, however, awakens in you an even stronger type of need. So the moment your shirt is on the floor, you walk with her towards the bed. When her calves hit the mattress, Leigh sits down on the bed, moving her hands to your hips to keep you in place. Before you can ask what's wrong, she's working on the zipper of your jeans, her eyes fixed on yours as she pulls your pants down making your mouth go dry.

As soon as you step out of the piece of clothing, Leigh takes your hands in hers, inviting you to lay on top of her. Obeying her quickly, you smile when your face is hovering over hers, drinking her in, admiring her as if she was the most beautiful work of art you've ever seen in your life - because that's exactly what she is. Her green eyes shine into yours like a million little stars, and if you were able to read her mind right now, all you'd hear was Leigh screaming how much she loves you, how deeply she needs you. But you can't. And you don't even have to, for her body tells you these exact same things every time you touch her.

Peppering kisses along her jaw, you slide your hand up her inner thighs, slowly making your way to her center. Once your fingers rest over her covered intimacy, Leigh sighs heavily in anticipation, her fingers gripping your shoulders to encourage you to go further. So you pull her panties down her legs, and Leigh helps you by moving them until the small item slides to the bedroom floor. With your eyes locked on hers, you slide your fingers along her folds, collecting her wetness in your digits before you start drawing light patterns along her clit.

Leigh shudders with the touch, her body burning, and her skin tingling. But she holds your gaze firmly, unable to look away. Completely hypnotized by how beautiful you are in her eyes, by how much she loves you and how much you mean to her. As your movements grow faster you start to leave wet kisses along her neck, going down to her collarbone. "Wait." She calls out when she feels you moving your body down. You stop yourself in place, wondering what you've done wrong. But all she gives you is a tender smile, wrapping her arms around your body in a loose hug as she explains, "I want you up here. So I can hold you."

The smile you give her is blinding, filling her chest with all the best things that exist in the vast, unknown universe that surrounds you both. But nothing out there matters now. All that matters are your fingers fucking her the way only you are able to do, your mouth so expectantly kissing her that that alone would be able to drive her crazy. But you're willing to give her so much more than that, of course, and when you thrust two fingers inside her, curling her in that way you know she likes most, Leigh's back arches up, her torso pressed against yours as she moans loudly, her nails scratching your back making your own core boil.

It doesn't take long for Leigh to reach her limit, moans and whimpers leaving her lips as she spasms beneath you, your name coming out in a cry of pleasure as her orgasm washes over her. Her trembling hand rests over your wrist to ask you to stop, and you do so with a smile on your lips, watching as she breathes in and out with her eyes closed. "I love you." The words leave your mouth with ease, and Leigh's eyes snap open immediately, a sea of green meeting yours with a multitude of emotions. "I love you too." She lets you know tearfully, and you let out a happy giggle, kissing her one more time before you pull away again to say, "and I want you to sit on my face."

"What?!" She asks with a laugh, shocked by the unexpected request. "What?!" You ask as if it was the most natural thing to ask your beautiful wife, smiling amusedly at her cheeks burning red. Your question makes her laugh some more, shaking her head at your attitude. Leigh missed this the most, your relaxed nature, so comfortable with her you know you could say anything to her, the same way you would hear anything she has to say. It is at times like these that she's most certain that you are the only person she would ever want in her life.

"Are you sure about this?" She asks, this time with concern, and you place a finger under your chin as you pretend to think. "Wait, let me think of reasons why I wouldn't want you sitting on my face, I'm sure there are many." Your answer makes her laugh wholeheartedly, the sound warming your soul entirely. And soon after her laughter dies down in a smile, her lower lip trapped between her teeth for a short second before she's kissing you again. As you kiss her back, the two of you move together so she's on top of you instead, and she pulls away to do what you requested of her.

She looks almost shy as she straddles your face, and you would've made a joke about her doing this a bunch of other times if her smell wasn't intoxicating you so much. As she settles down slowly, you take a hold of her thighs, pressing her further against your as you eat her out, letting your tongue explore every single piece of her. Still affected by her previous orgasm, Leigh has to hold onto the headboard with her eyes closed, and it doesn't take long for her to cum again, spilling her juices into your mouth as your tongue guides her through her high.

"Baby, please." She asks in a whimper, her hand on your hair as she begs you to stop the overstimulation. Grudgingly, you do so, letting go of her legs so she can lay back down. With an easy smile on her lips, Leigh lies on top of you, kissing you softly and letting out a low moan as she tastes herself on your tongue. But the kiss is short lived due to her tired state, so she soon pulls away and rests her head on your shoulder. You take no time in wrapping your arms around her, drawing small patterns along her hip bone.

In the silent room, the only sounds you hear are those of your breathing and the voices in your head, with a million arguments for you to do something that maybe you shouldn't. But then Leigh's voice speaks louder than all the others in your mind. I like it when you don't overthink things. Maybe you should just do it. "Leigh?" You call out softly after a long moment of silence. "Yeah?" She asks lazily, her breath tingling your skin as she speaks. It takes you another moment to decide, your mouth going dry. But before Leigh can ask what's wrong, you smile to yourself, making up your mind.

"I'm ready to come home."

Taglist: @madamevirgo @wqndanat @thisischaismagic @artisannat @olsensnpm @evenbeingcrazy1998 @bentleywolf29 @awkwardmandalorian @agaymilflover @sayah13 @princessprudy @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @piningismymiddlename @the-writer-arcane @diaryoflife @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff

#sorry for your loss #leigh shaw #thanks anon!#fanfiction #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x reader #sorry for your loss imagine #leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw x y/n #collab #abimess #messedupfan

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gingiesworld · 5 months

Text

Confusion

Leigh Shaw x Step Sibling GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Fluff.

Taglist : @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop @marvelogic @dopeyouth @karsonromanoff @bimad (if you want to be added to my taglist, please DM me or comment)

18+ MINORS DNI

Since the moment Leigh had ended her fling with Danny, her dead husband’s brother, she had been in a kind of limbo. She has been moody, depressed, afraid that she can’t escape her old life, unable to move forward.

“You’ll be fine Leigh.” Jules comforted her one night as she cried, after having a dream about Matt.

“He won’t leave me alone.” She sobbed as Jule’s grip tightened around her.

“Maybe you should move on.” She tried as Leigh shook her head no.

“I tried that.” She told her as Jules chuckled.

“I mean move on away from the Greer family.” She told her. “Maybe Y/N.” She teased as Leigh shook her head.

“They’re my step sibling.” She told her as she shoved Jules away with a laugh.

“Well, that’s never really stopped their obvious crush on you.” Jules told her as Leigh raised a brow. “Ever since we have been kids, they’ve always had heart eyes for you.”

“No.” She shook her head as Jules nodded. “That can’t be.” Her words trailed off.

After that moment, she spent days racking her brain as she remembered every moment from their childhood, from the moment her father married Y/N’s mom before she passed. Every time they had done something for her without asking, helping her with homework that she didn’t understand. Even defending her in high school when she would get bullied by the cheerleaders and the jocks.

It had been weeks since Jules’s revelation, every time she had seen Y/N around her father’s home, fixing things that needed to be fixed, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander, but she never realised that she would have to see them so soon.

“Hi?” She questioned as she answered the door to them, unsure of why they’re there with their tools.

“Your mom told me she had a problem with the washing machine.” Y/N told her as she nodded, letting them inside and watching as they walked through to the utility room. Once she closed the door, she took a deep breath before following them, watching as they started to take apart the drum.

“Do you want some coffee or water?” She asked them.

“Coffee please.” They answered with a smile, a smile that had made Leigh’s heart skip a beat for the first time. As she waited for the coffee to brew, her thoughts were plagued by them, unholy thoughts as she watched them start with the washing machine. She has already seen how strong they are, seeing them work on the new construction sight.

“Are you ok?” They asked her as they entered the kitchen.

“Yeah.” She breathed out as she kept her eyes on their movements, watching as they reached under the sink. “What are you doing?” She asked them.

“Just some bicarb, it helps with the belt.” They told her. “It was full of grime so it wasn’t spinning as well as it should have been so I've cleaned most of it but putting it on a drum wash with a cup of this inside will help more.”

“How do you know this stuff?” She asked them as they shrugged.

“I guess I’ve always liked the idea of mending things that are broken.” They told her before leaving to head into the utility room, soon followed by Leigh and two cups of coffee in her hand.

“What if you come across something you can’t fix?” She asked them as they shrugged, sipping the coffee from their cup.

“I guess if I can’t repair it, it doesn't matter how much research I do but I won’t be able to fix it, I just have to move on.” They told her as she nodded, thinking of what to say next.

“Why have you barely spoken to me since college?” She asked them.

“I don’t know.” They spoke unsurely. “I never really thought about it.”

“It’s been since the moment I met Matt.” She stated as they finished their coffee before packing away their tools, wanting to get out of the house and away from the conversation. “Is it because of your feelings for me?”

“How do you?” Y/N asked her, hurt in their eyes as she raised a brow. “I have to go.” They tried to walk past her but she stopped them.

“Just tell me the truth. I deserve that at least!” She yelled as they squeezed her eyes closed.

“Yes!” They yelled, their eyes glazed with tears. “I have been in love with you since I can remember, and yes, I became distant when you and Matt started seeing each other because it wasn’t me. It would never be me so I left you alone.” Leigh listened as they poured their heart out. “So I tried to move on from you, from this hold you have on me but I can’t and I hate it!” She watched as they stepped around her, leaving the house as Leigh remained frozen in her place.

As the hours passed, Leigh remained locked in her thoughts, wanting to apologise to Y/N but they were ignoring her calls, so she decided to ask her dad for their address. Soon racing through the city towards their house, she smiled as she remembered how they always said they wanted a nice little house, never really seeing the appeal of an apartment.

“Leigh?” They spoke unsurely as she walked around to find them chopping up firewood. “What do you want?”

“I want to apologise.” She told them. “I was out of line.”

“I respected you.” They told her. “That’s why I never acted on my feelings for you, that’s why I kept my distance because I respect you, I respect your boundaries.”

“I know that.” She tried as they shook their head.

“You don’t.” They whispered as she approached them. “I have loved you for as long as I can remember, when we were kids, you used to say that you would marry me one day.” She sighed as she remembered the moments when her father and their mom dated. “You said you would always love me more than life itself but I grew up realising that everything we had felt, it was all one sided.” They sighed as they put the axe down. “You never loved me the way I love you.”

“You don’t know that!” She yelled as she now stood before them. “We’re siblings.” She told them. “We still are.”

“I never saw you as one.” They told her. “I saw you as the one who owned my heart but I guess the joke’s on me.” She watched as they entered their house, following them as they washed their hands.

“What can I do?” She asked them as they shook their head with a dry chuckle.

“You can leave me alone.” They told her. “Just let me try to move on from you.”

“But.” She tried as Y/N gave her a sad look.

“I just need to move on from you, from what will never be because I can’t deal with this.” They told her. “So please leave.”

“No.” She whispered as they clenched their fists.

“I need you to leave.” They told her in a broken whisper. “Just leave me be and move on with your life.” They opened the door for her, waiting for her to move before she stopped before them.

“You do know that you are one of the most important people in my life.” She told them.

“Just not important enough.” They told her before closing the door behind her. Sighing as they leaned against it, squeezing their eyes as they heard her car door close, but not hearing the footsteps as she climbed the steps and knocked on the door again. Y/N opened the door reluctantly, seeing a confused Leigh, watching as she cupped their cheek, gazing into their eyes.

“I just need to see something.” She whispered as Y/N remained frozen, eyes closing as they felt her breath fan over their face, sighing as they felt her lips on theirs, kissing tenderly before their hands moved to wrap around her waist, soon finding themselves lost within each other as Leigh pushed them inside the house, kicking the door closed as she pushed them down on the sofa, straddling their lap as she felt everything and more with each passing moment, every action igniting her being as she found herself beneath them, panting and moaning as they moved down her body.

The two of them lay cuddling on the sofa, just a blanket wrapped around them as Y/N’s arms held her close. She smiled as she felt alive for the first time in years, even just the slightest touch of their fingers brushing her arm softly ignited her.

“What are you thinking?” She asked as she looked up into their eyes.

“I don’t know if this is real to you.” They told her honestly. “I just need to know because I don’t think I can stay if this doesn’t mean anything to you.” She shuffled to straddle their lap, cupping their face as she looked into their eyes.

“I guess you can say that I needed to open my eyes to what was in front of me.” She told them. “This feeling I have right now is the most alive I have felt in my life, I guess it has always been you. It’s always going to be you Y/N.” She kissed them softly before the two smiled. “We should shower.” She whispered as her hands massaged their sweaty shoulders, Y/N nodded before picking her up, carrying her up the stairs as she giggled. The two happy and content.

#leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw #sorry for your loss #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen imagine #elizabeth chase olsen

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writing-house-of-m · 6 months

Text

Playing Games & Mischief

Leigh Shaw x GN!Reader

Summary: Leigh's sleep talking has you wondering what she could have been dreaming about

A/N: I only got this request when I asked for some ideas last week, which I'm actually grateful for lol Here you go anon, I hope you like it. It is very cute in my opinion 😌 but let me know what you all think!

You have been wanting to see Leigh all day, she was already gone when you woke up this morning. There has been something you wanted to ask her since you woke up in the middle of the night last night.

Something you think will embarrass Leigh which means you have to mention it for your own entertainment.

The sound of the front door opening and the rustling of bags indicate Leigh is finally home. ‘Finally!’ You think. You have had to wait for her all day (a few hours).

Sneaking into the kitchen you quietly walk up behind Leigh and wrap your arms around her, your voice is low when you speak. "Hello wife," you say, pressing a kiss on Leigh's neck.

You don't think you will ever tire of saying that - 'wife'.

Leigh greets you back and when you look up to see the full grocery bags she turns her head to peck you on the cheek. She busies herself with emptying the contents of said bags.

After you place another peck on Leigh's shoulder you pull away giving her some space to continue with what she is doing.

You stand by her side leaning against the counter and crossing your arms over your chest.

"Mrs Leigh Shaw, my love, my wife, the eternal light of my life." Leigh raises an eyebrow at your antics wondering where this is going to go. “I have a question for you.”

You don't wait for a response and continue, "Does 'You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them' sound familiar to you?" You ask.

Leigh squints her eyes at you confused.

To clarify, you add sweetly, "What were you dreaming about last night, love?" While grinning.

It's quick, and if you were anyone else they would not have seen it. There is the briefest look of realisation on your wife's face before she schools her features once more.

And even though you know she knows you can catch her in a lie, she still chooses to withhold the truth from you.

"I don't know what you're talking about, babe." Leigh grins back then turns around to walk to one of the cabinets to put some cans of food away. Purposely looking away from you because she doesn't want you to see the sheepish look on her face.

Oh, she wants to play. Time for a little fun.

"Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie,” your grin widens as you raise an eyebrow.

Leigh makes her way back to stand next to you seemingly unaffected.

Being with Leigh for so long means you know all the right buttons to press. So the tone of voice you use is one you know will get a reaction out of her.

You lean in close, one hand leaning against the counter, the other going to the small of Leigh's back while you speak low, “You know, I know when you're lying. Why must we play these games, Mrs Shaw?”

Leigh glances over at you from the corner of her eye then sighs, resting her hands on the flat surface in what you think is defeat.

You're so close to her now you can practically feel the effect you have on her especially with your voice teasing Leigh right by her ear, "Tell me love, what was it you were dreaming about?"

Leigh turns her head to you, your lips inches apart. You twitch your eyebrow while biting your bottom lip ready for Leigh to fall victim to your charm.

What you don't expect is for Leigh to reverse the roles.

"What if I say I was dreaming about you?" It's Leigh's turn to raise her eyebrows and bite her lip.

"I had you in the palm of my hand,” she narrates sultrily, hand on your chest to push you so that your back is pressed against the edge of the counter. “And you just wanted to," Leigh's hand slowly makes its way up your bicep,"touch me." She finishes as her hands glide up your neck and rest there.

Goosebumps flair on your skin as you sigh, affected by how close she is, her breath brushing your lips. Your eyelids droop as she takes hold of your stings and plays you like a puppet.

This is not going how you thought it would.

"Then what happened," you whisper. You're surprised you even get the words out with the way her fingers play with the hairs at the nape of your neck.

"And then," she pushes her body, if possible, even closer to yours. Her soft edges mould perfectly to you while your arms catch up to the instructions your brain is sending out to wrap around her waist. You feel heat radiating from your cheeks and the tips of your ears when she brushes her nose against yours.

When she leans in, “And then…” you blink slowly waiting for the gap to close. But Leigh pulls away, "And then I woke up!" She slaps your cheek twice then heads out of the kitchen, leaving you standing there in a dumbfounded mess.

"You can finish with the groceries, I'm going to go shower," Leigh says, her voice bright. She pauses at the doorway to look over her shoulder at you. You, with your wide eyed, mouth agape look of despair, "love." Then proceeds to walk away.

You rub the back of your neck while you scrunch your eyebrows together, "What just happened?" You sigh to yourself, looking at the items that still need to be put away. Your brain then slowly catches up with the fact you had just been played.

Freezing for a second, it hits you. What she instructed. And where she is going.

You scoff as a smirk takes over your face and before you know it you're racing off in the direction your wife just went, "Leigh Shaw, you're going to regret that!"

When Leigh hears your footsteps closing in on her she tries to run away but you are too quick for her. Leigh shrieks when your arms wrap around her, capturing her like prey.

You both fall into a fit of laughter stopping a few feet from the bathroom. Turning Leigh around in your arms, she buries her face in your neck to avoid looking at you, playing coy.

"Nuh uh, let me see those pretty eyes, baby," you say, using your hand to guide her face away from its hiding place.

When her green eyes meet yours your smile is automatic. You swear you see them sparkle with how much they seem to be shining at this moment. The sparkle you initially think is admiration turns out to be mischief.

She raises an eyebrow, "So, how exactly am I going to regret my actions?" Leigh asks cheekily.

"Let's just say, 'You did some bad things, but I'm going to be the worst one of them'." You mock Leigh with her own words from last night, making yourself chuckle.

In response Leigh rolls her eyes, pushing your shoulder.

Shortly after, the mischievous look takes over her face once again, "I want to know how you're going to punish me."

That damn lip bite is going to be the death of you, but this time you are not going to let her win.

You lift her up with ease and lean in close, your lips barely grazing hers to say, "Oh, I have a few ideas," before closing the gap between you and making your way to the bathroom.

173 notes · View notes

therunawaykind · 1 month

Text

don't wanna break up again

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x GN!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Genre: Pinch of angst? fluff

Warnings: None unless you hate the names Leigh & Danny in the same sentence quite a bit

A/N: Long time no see! (again) writer's block and just simply getting the inspiration and motivation to write have been fucking dreadful these last few months. I dunno what was going on. Hopefully, all things going well this is my slow return to posting regularly again on here. If not then whoops you'll see me again at some stage. Who would've thought Leigh Shaw and Ariana Granda was gonna be my breakthrough for writing stuff not me that's for sure. This is my very loose interpretation of Ariana Grande's 'don't wanna break up again' I saw someone say it was very Leigh x Danny coded then this transpired. I hope I have done this some justice I imagine my writing abilities are a bit rusty so bear with me and I hope you all enjoy!

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If there was one thing Leigh was certain of since Matt’s death it was how complicated and difficult her life had become, ranging from devastating revelations to do with Matt and his teacher co-worker Nina, living with a Jules who is now a recovering sober alcoholic, dealing with her mother Amy with her previous breakdown she had where she moved to Alaska which subsequently led to her breakthrough of wanting to travel and basically just live somewhere else that wasn’t in Los Angeles, that wasn’t home.

In addition to that after Leigh’s breakdown after choosing to leave with Jules to go to Vietnam, she ultimately decided just to stay living in their family home whilst both Jules and her mother left for however long they decided. Leigh also decided to take over Beautiful Beast for Jules until she was ready to come back…if she ever did but nonetheless she couldn’t let all of Jules’ hard work go to waste. And last but not least the absolute travesty that of her and Danny whatever that thing is, it’s complicated, messy and above all else unhealthy all over for the both of them. Not to delve too much into the ups and downs of their….thing the latest situation ended up with Danny punching a hole in the wall of Leigh’s home, to sum it up in a simple phrase “People don’t slam their fists through walls when things are going well.”

The one positive and healthy yet still slightly complicated thing in Leigh’s life which happened unexpectedly was well… Y/N. Granted one of the only aspects that made it complicated was the fact you were her “student”, you both met due to you attending Leigh’s classes at Beautiful Beast, the friendship, and conversations which ended up evolving into more flirtatious conversations did just happen out of nowhere unexpectedly. The downfall of the whole friendship between you both was when Danny surprised Leigh at the entrance of Beautiful Beast one night to take her home…then you caught Danny kissing her which again took Leigh by surprise. That night and predicament in question had truly shocked Leigh because from what she knew and understood during that time, it was during one of her and Danny’s off moments, their pause a break essentially.

But in good Leigh fashion the second she saw Danny she started overthinking and thought she interpreted something wrong or missed a certain something, whilst simultaneously thinking this was Danny offering an olive branch and showing her they really can make this work, they can be good and healthy for each other….how wrong she was. So understandably from then on you started to distance yourself and pull away from Leigh after that by not talking, hanging out or texting as much. Unbeknownst to Leigh any hope you had of having some sort of relationship with her plummeted very quickly after that.

Leigh knew whatever they had going on wasn’t good for either of them and would never last, it was a cycle they couldn’t break….well she couldn’t break. It was a lifeline for them both, the last small bit of connection they both had to Matt in some way. On one hand, Leigh had this negative and toxic relationship that she couldn’t leave, she couldn’t escape it. Somehow it always kept dragging her back in no matter how many times night and day it had her distraught, crying and attempting to soothe herself. On the other hand, Leigh had this seemingly hopeful, positive and healthy relationship she could have with you.

But before she even tried to give that relationship a chance she had to try to get out of this fucking cycle she couldn’t seem to get out of and no matter how hard she tried. Whenever she asked Jules for advice on the relationship, much to nobody's surprise always went something like this.

“Leigh you need to end this thing with Danny and go no contact with him at least for some time, this is not healthy for either of you. I mean come on Leigh he punched a hole in the wall at our house. Let me remind you when I was living with you Leigh after mom left, just how many times I’d hear quiet sobs from your room, you talking to yourself to make yourself feel better and reassure yourself everything was going to be okay, that everything was gonna be fine. And I couldn’t get in because 1. You’d lock the door, 2. You wouldn’t respond when I asked if you were okay and lastly, when you did, you’d just say you were fine, you were okay. Once one of you starts to feel happier and healthier the other drags the other one down simply just by being around.

I know you don’t want to go through another break-up or heartbreak….but you’re doing it to yourself constantly by staying in this with Danny or maybe…. You keep going back to this thing with Danny because you don’t want to hurt him and his heart completely. And if you do fully disappear from his life because to him you're his last link to Matt and right now you know full well you are leading him on and have him believing you two can have some semblance of a future together no matter how complicated it may be. I know this is a weird way to word it but… I think you know Matt wouldn’t want or like Danny to be experiencing this level of hurt and anguish as much as he is, not even specifically with you just with anyone.

But let’s not forget just how much you did hurt Danny initially when he was staying away from you and you wouldn’t let it happen. You forced your way into his life because you needed him to love you. Who knows maybe some ways down the line in the future when you’re both fully healed or at least somewhat…you two can be friends and have that last link to Matt. But also do remember that doesn’t mean you have to stop contact with Matt’s mother…. You can still have a link to him in some shape and form.”

That’s what she’d deal with, she knew and understood completely what Jules was saying yet she couldn’t bring herself to do it….unfortunately. She wishes Danny would end up being the person to end it but the chances of that happening are slim to none. But with the possibilities that awaited her on the other side of things…she knew what she had to do, end things with Danny then she had to get the friendship with Y/N back to what it was, and she had to show you that you weren't going to be just some rebound, that she saw a future with this relationship she saw it going the distance.

When she thought about the aspects of the relationship she had with Y/N the only way Leigh could describe how she felt…was how she felt when she was with Matt. With you, it finally felt like Leigh had gotten the best and good part of herself back that as Leigh put it Matt had taken with him when he died. It felt like she could finally breathe again and live her life to the fullest. Fortunately for Leigh yet quite sadly when the friendship between you both was at its best Matt left her alone, and Leigh’s recurring what she would consider nightmares of Matt and Nina living out the life she lived with him finally stopped.

Now all she had to do was start the process and uncomplicate her life which starts with talking to Danny.

As Leigh anxiously approaches the door to the apartment she knows so well, she nervously wrings out her hands and fingers. She had texted Danny the night before asking him if would it be okay for her to visit in the morning to talk to him, as Danny eagerly agreed to her calling over she realised at that very moment he was expecting a very different conversation. She hesitantly starts knocking on the door muttering to herself “You can do this, you can do this. You have to do this for yourself, Danny and everyone else in your life but most importantly you and Danny.” After a few seconds, shuffling could be heard behind the door as Leigh took a deep breath in, in an attempt to calm herself down and get all of her feelings under control.

Once the door opened a weak nervous smile spread across her face, Leigh quickly scans Danny trying to figure out how he really is, as she sees him start to step out and lean in to give her a quick kiss but before anything of the sort can happen Leigh quickly steps in and gives him a quick hug as she states “so is it alright for me to come in?” as she smiles quickly at him. Danny’s face scrunches up in confusion as Leigh quickly pats his stomach as she steps past him into his apartment, he lets out an exasperated sigh and throws his head back slightly and he turns around to walk into his apartment closing the door behind him.

When Danny finally turns to face Leigh he can’t help but notice her looking around his apartment and the constant nervous fidgeting with her fingers, her hair and her neck. He sighs to himself “Alright Leigh what is this about you said you wanted to talk.”

Leigh jumps slightly as she spins around to face him “ I- well- yeah you’re right I did, I did.” rubbing her now sweaty palms off of the side of her jeans and slowly sits herself down on Danny's sofa. Taking a deep breath in and bringing her hands up to her mouth “I- I can imagine from the way I’m acting and just how difficult it is for me to start this conversation and say what I actually want to….that you already know what this conversation is about and where it’s heading.” Hearing a quiet sigh beside her Leigh glances quickly out the side of her eye seeing Danny leaning forward slightly with his head down and forearms leaning on his knees. “But Danny this thing has to be stopped, I- we’re both hurting each other continuously whether we realise it or not. I mean need I remind ourselves of the punching a hole in the wall situation.”

That got a small chuckle out of Danny as he shook his head slightly clicking his tongue. “And I mean it wasn’t just you Danny, I forced you to be around me when you didn’t want to, in our own little ways, we were selfish when it came to this situation. Now I know I stated and promised you before that I would never have a life that didn’t have you in it…but whilst we’re both still healing and dealing with our grief that obviously still hasn’t gone anywhere. We do really need to not be in each other's lives anymore, no contact, no talking in any shape or form no stupid lil emoji texts anymore.”

Biting his lip and sitting back Danny exclaims “But Leigh that’s EXACTLY what you’re doing, you’re leaving, you’re having a life without me! You obviously think and believe you don’t need me!”

“I’M NOT LEAVING YOU, I’M NOT HAVING A LIFE WITHOUT YOU”

“LEIGH THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE DOING CAN YOU NOT HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING”

“DANNY!” scoffing to herself and shaking her head as she calmly states ”See this, this here exactly happening right now is why we need to take a step back from each other. We can’t even have a normal conversation without blowing up and ending up yelling at each other. The only time we aren’t killing each other is when we’re having sex and- and even then since we had that conversation in that casino resort we both know Matt is still weirdly on our minds during that. I- I think no matter how much we try or maybe want some sort of actual loving relationship with each other…it’ll never work. The only thing we ever can be to each other is friends.” Leigh shakes her head and licks her lips slightly “Just a friendship. Because we are hurting each other and ourselves from the inside out. We have to heal by ourselves, without the other in our lives and move on. And hopefully at some stage down the line whenever we’re both happy and healthy we can get back in contact with the other.”

Leigh smirks as she sways from side to side “Cause I can’t lie Danny I think we’d be pretty kick-ass friends together don’t ya think.” She grins as she nudges Danny with her shoulder, clearing his throat and nodding “Yeah- yeah I think we would be. And I can’t lie I get what you’re saying I understand hell I see it completely. It- it is just a difficult thing to let go of even if it is just for a little bit.”

Biting her lip and rubbing Danny’s arm “I get it, Danny I do believe me but you still have your mom. You both can get through this together because it was just as difficult for her to… You are all she has left. And I’ll- I'm staying in contact with her or at this stage more like getting in contact with her more considering she still is my mother-in-law or ex-mother-in-law anyways specifics isn’t the important thing here.”

Danny laughs slightly and nods “Yeah, yeah she’d like that.” Both sit back against the sofa in silence basking in the reality of what now has to be undertaken the reality of it hitting them simultaneously. Rubbing her hands anxiously up and down her legs as she slowly drags out “rigghtt I guess- I guess I better go now and leave us both to our journey of healing, growth whatever you wanna call it.” Leigh laughs as she mumbles to herself “god I sound like my mother” She walks to the door with Danny right behind her as Leigh opens the door she turns around and smiles at Danny as they both embrace each other in a hug for the last time till…who knows how long. Both pulling away slowly and giving each other a subtle nod as Leigh steps out through the door as it closes behind her softly. Leigh takes a deep breath in, the grin spreading across her face going unnoticed by her as she starts to descend the steps of the apartment building.

Leigh was never nervous or anxious when it came to teaching her exercise classes though apparently today was the exception, as she anticipated your arrival. Leigh smiles moving back and forth on her feet as she greets all of the students walking in through the door to her class, anxiously waiting to get a glimpse of your bag, shoes or something as you come through the front door. Considering since you distanced yourself from her she’s noticed you haven’t attended classes all that regularly. Leigh’s eyebrows raise in anticipation as she sees the front doors open happily letting out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding as she saw a glimpse of your bag and shoes come into view. Giddily she lets a grin spread across her face and she nervously picks at her nails seeing you approach the entrance “Hey Y/N it’s nice to see you again, I’m glad you decided to attend and come today.”

Taken aback by Leigh's greeting and striking up a proper conversation with you after so long did genuinely take you by surprise but couldn’t stop the smile on your face “Hey Leigh, yeah I can’t lie I missed attending these classes I’m sure I’ll get back on track from now on.” Both smiling at each other as you walk past her into the class much to Leigh’s amazement you turn around and say to her “Leigh if I can just say you look great...you just look happy and healthy. Whatever you’ve done or are doing keep it up it suits you.” With her mouth wide open Leigh messily nods and stutters out “I- I will- I- Thank you very much, I will be sure to keep it up.” Leigh turns around to the door to hide and mutters to herself “Idiot”.

Much to her relief though the class was a success and she didn’t stumble or trip over any more of her words whenever she got closer to you throughout her class as she moved around the room. After the class finished Leigh quickly grabbed her towel off the floor wiping the sweat off of her as she said goodbye to everyone, in her peripheral vision she could see you deliberately taking your sweet ass time packing away all of your stuff. Biting her lip she attempted to suppress the smile taking over her face.

As she said goodbye to one of the last students she sauntered across the room towards you as she started fiddling with the towel around her neck. “Sooo Y/N” you glanced up at her as you were putting on your shoes “What's up Leigh?”

She smiles at you abashedly as she scratches her head “I just wanna say sorry and give you a quick apology for anything I said or did that created that distance and made us pull away from each other. Because- because for that length of time, I really did miss seeing you and your face around here but I’m glad to see you back now.” Nervously scratching the back of your neck “Yeah umm I just-” shaking your head slightly as you let out a breath “I just had some stuff I had to figure out and work on to clear my head a bit and- unfortunately, sadly to do that I kinda had to step away and distance myself from you and well all things relating to you. But I- I think I’ve figured it all out now.”

You can’t help but notice the hopeful glint in Leigh’s eyes and smile “Oh really? A positive figure it out I hope?”

Grinning and nodding confidently “Yeah- yeah it does seem that way.” Both of you stare at each other smiling to your heart's content as both of your eyes scan the other person. You clear your throat as you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks and glance around the room “Anyways I should probably head off and leave you to clean up the place or whatever it is you have left to do around here.” Leigh absentmindedly nods her head but ultimately starts panicking as you pick up your bag and wave goodbye to her, she quickly sprints after you saying between breaths “Or or- or albeit this isn’t a very nice offer for you to ask-” you raise your eyebrow at her “What is it, Leigh?”

“Um, do you wanna hang out here with me and help me out around here if you aren’t busy? I just- I’ve just missed hanging out and talking with you and thought this might be a nice way for us to catch up.”

“Y’know you are right it isn’t the nicest or most glamorous offer I’ve ever heard but I have missed talking to you Leigh so I’ll stick around and help my favourite fitness instructor out.”

Leigh whips her head around to face you and stumbles slightly as she starts moving the spare barres placed around the room “Wha- what do you mean favourite fitness instructor? I’m your only fitness instructor.” Smirking over at Leigh as you roll up the extra yoga mats “That you know of, could’ve tried out other places whilst I was MIA”

“HEY!” Leigh exclaims as she throws a cloth at you

Laughing at her reaction as you catch the cloth “I’m messing, I’m messing you would be correct, you are the only fitness instructor I know and one that I go to.” You hear a quiet yet stern “good” in response as she goes back to cleaning, laughing and shaking your head in the process.

Since then you and Leigh have practically been inseparable, it was as if nothing had ever happened. She had explained to you fully what went and was going on with her and Danny currently..more like what wasn’t going on. Even though you had said to her repeatedly she didn’t have to that it was none of your business. But you reassured her it was for the better, she made the right decision, she’s doing better because of it and you could only hope the same for Danny. Leigh now had you over at her house….for what she told you would be a quiet night in with both of your favourite takeout foods and as many movies and TV shows as you both could handle.

Which now that you were here was not the case at all. Leigh had gotten the bright idea, the brainwave or as she put it a breakthrough. She felt that the whole house needed to be redecorated and refurnished as it reminded her of sad, difficult and complicated times and she couldn’t stand being reminded of those moments any longer. So who were you to say no to helping her out yet again. As you were sat on the floor dismantling all of the old furniture with Leigh, you saw her peak her head out from the other side “Again I’m sorry about this, it seems like none of my hangouts recently are that exciting and it involves you always having to work.” You laugh and shake your head “Leigh honestly it’s okay I really don’t care what I do as long as it’s with you. But hey it’ll be a nice bonding time for both of us, be a little glimpse of what it’s like if we were to ever live with each other I guess.” You scratch your head and hurriedly get back to dismantling the furniture as you realise what you said. “Did you just say living together?”

“Psshhh me say that? No never? Must’ve heard things, Leigh.”

“Mhmm okay sure.” What you didn’t notice was Leigh moving over to you slowly on her knees but jumping slightly as you felt her place her arms on your shoulders in an attempt to get you to raise your head to look at her. Glancing up at her you see the silly little smile on her face “I may not be ready for that yet but I’d like to think we’d end up living together at some stage in the future.”

Staring at her wide-eyed “R-really?” Leigh grins and nods her head as she whispers against your lips “Really.” Grinning at each other as you both lean in to place kisses on each other's lips which quickly turn into little pecks as Leigh slaps your thigh “Alright let’s get back to work this house isn’t gonna refurnish and redecorate itself. And this furniture certainly won’t dismantle itself.”

Chuckling to yourself you playfully salute towards Leigh “Aye, aye captain.”

#therunawaywrites #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw x y/n #leigh shaw imagine #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen x you #elizabeth olsen x y/n #sfyl #sorry for your loss #leigh shaw

85 notes · View notes

wandabear · 10 months

Text

DAYLIGHT ㅤㅤㅤ

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x female reader Summary: 'Sunflower' prequel. Read that first, if you want. You and the love of your life meet for the first time, you don't know everything that awaits you. Leigh Shaw is a tropical storm. This is also part of a request, thank you sweet anon. ㅤㅤㅤ warnings: ansgt, mentions of death, alcoholism. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPART I

Her gaze was lost on the ceiling, perhaps for twenty minutes until the alarm went off. The dark circles under her eyes showed how much it was difficult for her to sleep lately.

Y/N sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤ

She got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. Some melancholic eyes were reflected in the mirror, she watched the scars on her body while she undressed.

ㅤㅤ

Didn't even feel like making breakfast, she just left the apartment and walked to the nearest coffee shop. Waited patiently in line until she could chat with the barista for a moment while waited for a large latte and a delicious bagel.

She took her time finishing it, listening to some music through her headphones for half an hour until she decided to leave.

ㅤㅤ Even though the barista gave Y/N her number, it didn't matter too much. She just got back on her Iron 883 and drove to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Station 12.

Some of her coworkers greeted her, surprised and happy to see her again. Everyone except her boss, who turned to see her quite surprised.

ㅤㅤ

“What did I tell you?” The man in his sixties grunted, shaking his head as he signed some papers.

ㅤㅤ “I have to go back to work.” Y/N sighed, ready to fight for what she wanted this time. “I've already learned whatever lesson you're giving me.”

ㅤㅤ All her life she dreamed of being a firefighter, of being able to help people and being in that very place where she was standing. Years of preparation, mental and physical sacrifice, her heart belonged to that place, how could she not be there?

ㅤㅤ “You can’t do it unless-” He was going to repeat the usual but Y/N cut him off.

ㅤㅤ “Cut the crap, chief.”

ㅤㅤ “Y/N.” He scolded her, looking up. With a single look it was enough for Y/N to know that she fucked it up. She swallowed. “I have told you many times, you have to go to the meetings or I can't let you come back.”

ㅤㅤ

“It's stupid!” Y/N raised her voice, so annoyed. “I don't need those stupid meetings, what I need is to get back to work.”

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N, I know what it's like to deal with loss. Trust me, I've worked here my whole fucking life.” ㅤㅤ

“Chief, please…” ㅤㅤ

“Tonight. Grief support group, Y/L/N. I need you SOBER and better than this. Last chance.” Her boss watched her and didn't back down even a step. She knew perfectly well that those were the rules and it was necessary.

ㅤㅤ

If she wanted to get back to her job, her life, she had to do what she had to do to earn it. Life is about one sacrifice after another, after all.

ㅤㅤ

“FUCK!” was heard in that place when Y/N left the place in a hurry, completely furious.

ㅤㅤ

“So… that was what happened.” That young man explained, surrounded by the group of people. He seemed quite sad but felt better when he noticed that everyone was listening to him, not ignoring his pain.

ㅤㅤ

“Thanks for share with us.” They all said, surprising Y/N, who awkwardly joined in.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm glad you could express that to us, James.” The moderator of the group, Janet, smiled kindly, turning to see the new person joining them today. “Today someone joins us and it's always good to welcome you. Do you want to introduce yourself?”

ㅤㅤ

“Umh… I’m not-” Y/N stammered awkwardly, feeling all eyes on her. Her heart raced, she could feel it. The firefighter hated being the center of attention, but she had to do this if she wanted to go back to the Station.

ㅤㅤ

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm not from Los Angeles… I mean, I wasn't born here, but I live here in L.A” She cleared her throat somewhat nervously, settling in the chair. “My job asks me to do it, and- and I love my job. And it doesn't bother me, I got used to this nice place.”

ㅤㅤ

“Even if it's a bit hot.” She teased, making some laugh. “I… umh-”

ㅤㅤ

They all expected to know more, they seemed like wild animals waiting for a part of the prey. Or at least that was how she saw it.

Silence flooded the place, Y/N remained thoughtful for a moment. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the room, but she just couldn't hear or say anything.

Just relive that memory, so tragic.

ㅤㅤ

And despite the fact that she wanted to keep talking, Y/N was unable to continue. As if anguish took her by the neck, she just frowned and shook her head.

Swallowing hard, the dark-haired woman just listened to the testimonies of each person who wanted to open up and express the pain they felt.

ㅤㅤ

When she was asked again if she wanted to say something else, Y/N just shook her head slowly and remained silent. It was typical, especially for someone attending for the first time. ㅤㅤ

As soon as that meeting ended, Y/N approached the coffee table in that room so she could pour herself some nice steaming cup and run away as soon as she had the chance. Y/N didn’t want to look so desperate or they would discover the truth. She was just using this meeting to go back the job.

ㅤㅤㅤ After having a steaming cup of coffee, she turned ready to leave but ended up colliding with a brown-haired woman with lovely but melancholy green eyes. Though thanks to her skills, didn’t spill even a single drop of coffee.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The girl apologized, muttering something a bit embarrassed but didn’t care much either. Something that caught Y/N’s attention, completely out of this world.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The woman in front of her, a downcast gaze looking at her phone, atractive and charming features.

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t saw you…” Y/N mumbled softly, noticing how the woman tucked one of her strands of hair behind her ear.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Feeling completely stunned by the beauty. Even with a half-done bun and hoodies, she was… different. Interesting. Hot as fuck, yes, but… gorgeous. Those huge green eyes caught her attention, a somewhat adorable nose and the fact that she was shorter than her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hi… I’m Y/N .” Said the taller woman finally, holding out her hand so they could shake it. That gesture made the green eyed stranger smile, maybe surprised by her desire to socialize.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m Leigh.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Nice to meet you, Leigh.” Y/N smiled widely, nodding a bit. Something that Leigh thought was adorable. A big dork, again. “Sorry, I wanted some coffee.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And I wanted a donut, although the ones here aren’t so good tho…” Leigh whispered, wrinkling her nose, making Y/N’s heart to start pounding faster. “You’re new here. I haven’t seen you before, welcome.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed hard again, both began to walk together towards the exit. She just nodded, giving Leigh a chance to speak again. Maybe the brunette might socialize a bit, her mother and Jules always insisted so much. Surely would later regret it later.

Or maybe not.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I understand the feeling, it’s kind of intimidating.” Leigh shrugged.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah… it’s something… it makes you feel exposed.” Y/N babbled then opened the door for Leigh to go through first. They both talked for a while until Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. “Umh… Do you promise that if I tell you something you won’t get mad?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Promise.” Leigh smiled and raised her hand, it was incredible how they barely knew each other and they got along, even being quite friendly with that stranger.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“This isn’t the AA group by any chance, is it?” Y/N bit her bottom lip to hide a guilty and somewhat regretful smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, it’s not…that’s Wednesday at 6 pm.” Leigh frowned, somewhat amused. Of course she knew because Jules attended every Wednesday.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah… I realized that when everyone started talking and I… was embarrassed to leave. When I started listening to everyone talk about their losses, I felt really bad about it. I mean, I came to talk about how I couldn’t feel comfortable on birthdays or Christmas…”

She lied, again. It was so much better than having to explain, she wasn't going back to that damn meeting anyway. She would tell her boss that she did go, present evidence, and then goodbye.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And although that would surely end up annoying Leigh so bad, and she would surely get mad for feeling so exposed by telling her story to someone who wasn’t even there for it, Y/N smiled when Leigh started laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ

It wasn’t a fake laugh, it was a pretty genuine laugh. And Y/N loved it. Y/N completely fell in love with it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It would be worse if you said ‘I only came here for coffee’.” Leigh joked. “Hi, I’m Y/N and I just came here for coffee and to see your sad mopey faces…” ㅤㅤㅤ Y/N laughed somewhat surprised, glad that the brunette didn’t get mad at her.

ㅤㅤㅤ “Maybe I do, the anguish revitalizes me and makes me younger. In fact, I am about fifty-two years old.” Y/N continued, walking together out of that building. Without even thinking about it, both were walking side by side, keeping each other company through the streets of Los Angeles. She took a sip from her cup but the coffee was cold. “This isn’t the best coffee tho, but it’s not that bad either…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh thought for a moment, the sound of cars and footsteps made her lose herself. She strangely felt comfortable with a stranger she hadn’t known more than a few minutes ago. How many times that happened in her whole life? Maybe just one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Would you like to go to a place where both things are better? Coffee and donuts.” Leigh finally asked as she snatched the coffee out of her hand and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

ㅤㅤㅤ Surprised at that, Y/N simply nodded and followed Leigh who seemed to know a good coffee place that was open 24 hours. ㅤㅤㅤ

“So…” Y/N settled into her seat while she put two tablespoons of sugar in her coffee. “How long have you been in the group?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A year? I think so…” Leigh wrinkled her nose. “It’s not so bad, I know it's hard to start, but then... it helps.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Does it? Well, she wasn't going to deny that it helped to be able to share the pain with people who understand that too. Although at first she refused a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“They seem like a pretty nice group of people.” Y/N nodded slowly. “Why are you there?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Perhaps that question was more direct than expected, Y/N cursed herself. Silence for a moment was an answer enough.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I was too… you know. I… I'm not used to socializing yet.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay… I lost my husband a year ago.” Leigh set her coffee cup on the table and licked her lips. “It was quite a difficult time for me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, seeing how Leigh just nodded, surely tired of hearing those words over and over again. 'Im sorry, sorry for your loss'. That’s exhausting. For a year, each person who crosses your path repeating how sorry they are. For what? They didn't kill Matt. He did. Or the cliff, whatever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't looking just for the AA meeting.” Y/N added, opening up to someone else for the first time. “I mean, I was too. I needed to go to one, but also… I did... I did lose someone. Two.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cleared her throat, holding that cup with her hands. “It's more complicated than it seems.”

She lowered her gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see.” Leigh muttered. She didn't know what to say, Leigh wasn't the most talkative person in the world either. But the woman seemed nice, ever since she stopped talking to Becca it had been hard to socialize. Well, it always was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I try to fool myself and people that I don't need it. I don't need to get over that loss because I already did, I mean, that's it, they’re dead but…” The dark-haired woman narrowed her eyes. “I didn't.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh tried to smile but it just seems like an awkward expression, failing completely. She just stretched out her hand to squeeze that stranger's hand and then leaned back in her seat.

The song from the radio seemed to help with the long silence.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s the most weird or embarrassing song on your playlist?” Y/N finally broke the silence, an utterly bold move.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Leigh frowned without understanding, maybe a smiling a bit because of how random that was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, are you afraid that I'll laugh?” Y/N challenged her, raising an eyebrow and smiling mischievously. “What's your guilty pleasure, Leigh Shaw?” She read the name tag on the brunette's jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Far from bothering her, Leigh gladly accepted the challenge.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Barbie Girl by Aqua.” Leigh smiled victoriously. “You?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I never told you that I would tell you.” She teased, drinking her latte. “The baby shark song.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on!” Leigh giggled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Spice Up Your Life by Spice Girls. Oh, I love it.” Y/N shrugged and drank some of her coffee. “What Taylor Swift era are you in if you had to pick one?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I don’t like Taylor Swift.” Leigh said trying to look disinterested but seeing Y/N's look, she just laughed. “Just kidding. Umh… I think I’m… Reputation?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you totally look like Rep.” Y/N nodded slowly. “If you were an animal what would you be?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I- I don’t know.” The brunette licked her lips after finishing her coffee. “Umh… maybe a… a bird. I could fly away, that's it.” She shrugged. “What about you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I would be a panda.” Y/N leaned back in her seat, narrowing her eyes as if she had made the best decision of her life, trying to make her laugh. And she did it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cute and fat. Nice.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And a loner, and really pissed off. Pandas look cute but they are always angry.”

ㅤ

"It must be the huge dark circles that don't let us see them."

ㅤㅤㅤ

And though she didn't want to admit it, Leigh seemed to be having a good time with this woman. Maybe a bit slow at first but Y/N seemed cool, and it might help if she knows someone in the grief group.

Between giggles and some weird but interesting questions, they both spent the time trying to get to know each other. And time goes by fast when you feel at ease.

Leigh told her that she was a writer, working on a book for some time but hadn't known how to continue.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N told her that she was having a 'break' from her job, as if her wounded ego wouldn't let her reveal that she wasn't allowed back unless she took a step away from alcoholism, self-hatred and pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Leigh… Umh… Do you know what is white, black, white, black, black and white?” Y/N narrowed her eyes, hoping Leigh would fall for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Mmm, no.” Leigh narrowed her eyes. “Piano keys?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A panda falling down the stairs.” Y/N bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at how stupid that joke sounded.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Despite the fact that that joke was pretty bad, Leigh began to laugh little by little, shaking her head. They both burst out laughing; the connection between the two of them had been instant and the warmth of the moment felt so genuine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Finally someone was bursting her bubble in an unexpected way and it terrified her. Suddenly Leigh felt a deep pang in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears for a second, remembering the first time she met Matt.

What was she doing? What was she doing in that place?

ㅤㅤㅤ

The smile on Leigh's lips faded so quickly that it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. Did she say something wrong maybe?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I-I've to go.” Leigh babbled getting up from her chair and taking her jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Surprised -and maybe a bit sad-, Y/N just nodded quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Of course, yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She got up and stood in front of the brunette, looking into her green eyes for a moment. They didn't know what to say, just feeling that connection and having to cut it off was so… sad.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was nice to meet you.” Leigh smiled nervously and grabbed her bag, turning to walk towards the door. “See you in the group next week.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you, Shaw.” Y/N murmured, sitting back in the chair and looking thoughtful as she looked at her empty cup. This was not what she expected, not at all.

Was she doing something wrong? Had she gone too far? She'd just made her laugh! Leigh was beautiful but she wasn't trying to… push her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What was she going to do there anyway? Y/N took her keys and her jacket and left the café, to go back home before it was late. Maybe tomorrow would be a different day.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But when she returned home, loneliness invaded her completely. Like a dark misterious being, caught her i its cloak, drowning her in misery. That desolate apartment made Y/N’s heart slowly sink.

Y/N took a deep breath and walked to the fridge, seeing only thing she had was beer cans and some old food.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beer to the sink, looking at them for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What to do? What to feel? She needed to drown all those negative feelings inside of her, and the only way to numb them was... that.

But unlike other heartbreaking nights, now there was something else on her mind. Something that aroused her interest, even if she didn't know it yet.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beers and one by one poured them into the sink, letting them go. Part of her said no, leave some, at least one in case someone ever came along or something. Or drink just one and throw everything Or perhaps better drink one and throw away all the rest, one more. The last one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She tilted her head to see the photograph on the nearest cabinet, an adorable photograph of her and two other women, hugging in front of the beach. One was redhead and the other brunette. The three of them laughed, making funny faces. ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered the time Nat and Jules invited her to go to the beach that weekend, although Y/N refused saying that they should 'make it a romantic trip', they just wanted to spend time with her.

That weekend they spent one of the best days of her life, ending it with that photograph in a beautiful sunset in front of the beach.

ㅤㅤㅤ

This is what they would have wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N dropped the rest of the beers and took the phone to order something to eat, other than a piece of cheese and bread. And although she didn't want to think about it, that night Y/N lay in bed thinking about that woman, and that perhaps it wouldn't be bad to visit the group again next week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Anyone else want to share something with us?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thomas?” Janet asked but the man just shook his head, he wasn't ready to do it. Now the gaze of Janet fell on her. Y/N settled into her seat, surely Janet noticed how she moved her leg anxiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N? Would you like to tell us something?” Her voice was so warm that Y/N had to stop herelf from telling her to fuck off for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ It had been quite a difficult week. Y/N believed that by throw away every bottle and presenting a paper that said that she attended ONE meeting, her boss was going to accept it, but it wasn’t like that at all.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Swallowing, she just tilted her gaze. “I’m angry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Being angry is good, it's good to allow ourselves positive but also negative feelings.” Janet nodded, and the others around her did the same. All those looks on her, just made it feel like some kind of experiment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so angry. Because I want to go back to my life, to my work and I have to be here.” She let out again, not knowing why she was saying all that. Y/N just knew that every word was escaping from her mouth and couldn't control it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone around her listened attentively, including Leigh, who was in front of her with a coffee in her hand.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone looking at me like I'm a fucking guinea pig or something. Okay, wanna know? Let's see... I lost my whole life thanks to alcoholism.” Y/N frowned, thinking how far she had come. How is it that everything changed so much from one moment to the next? “And I fell into alcoholism because I lost my sister and my best friend at the same time. Also my parents treated me like shit.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh, who was staring at her, felt a little sorry, understanding the woman a bit more now. Everyone there did it, in their own way, everyone suffered an irreparable loss but slowly they tried to heal.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“My sister died a short time ago. Sh- she wasn't my biological sister, but she was my sister.” Y/N sighed deeply, entering a rather complicated field. Her lip twitched. “As I said, a year ago.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone listened carefully and said nothing, when someone opened up like that it was important that they feel heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Julia.” Y/N swallowed at the thought of her best friend, her sister. “That was her name, we called her Jules, she was wonderful. A lovely human being, she had a lovely wife too. They died… and I'm here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

That name made Leigh look at her, having her full attention. As if fate somehow played a trick on them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We were together since elementary school, always… She was there for me more than anyone.” You could tell that talking about it hurt deeply, Y/N swallowed and narrowed her eyes several times to keep from crying. “Even when I said that my dream was to be a firefighter, she decided to come along and support me. Although she chose to be a paramedic, so we could be together.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N felt her lips tremble and how those eyes filled with tears but she tried to stay strong because she couldn't cry in front of all those people, could she? Come on. ㅤㅤㅤ “There was a gas leak in a building... then there was a big explosion. We were there.” Tears began to fall but she was too exhausted to wipe them away or hide them. “She and her wife Nat died… They died and I’m here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She hated having to be the center of attention, feeling like an 'attention whore' or something. But once she started expressing what she felt, she couldn't stop. Because she no longer had anyone to talk to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m still here and I sometimes I hate it.” She sniffled. "If we were a team… why didn't they take me too?"

ㅤㅤㅤ “I spent so much time thinking that… that maybe I'm just crazy. That maybe she's not gone. She’ll come around the corner any second, smiling at me.” Y/N smiled at the memory that came to mind. “Ma- Making fun of how I usually breathe through my mouth when I eat, she says I look like a fish out of water.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N laughed through tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Since that day my head has not stopped telling me that it is better to get away from everyone before they abandon me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She felt a soft hand resting on her shoulder and for a moment she thought about leaving, but seeing that the old lady only wanted to comfort her, Y/N just let it happen.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And I'm mad at myself and everyone.” Y/N looked down. “Especially my boss who won't let me go back to work and be able to save people. That’s it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, Y/N. For your sacrifice and for sharing this with us.” Janet said and they all repeated again, nodding.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It is important to be able to express what we feel in order to move forward.” Janet smiled kindly. “Denial and anger are two huge steps towards acceptance.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply and managing to calm down, Y/N nodded and dried her tears with a tissue that the kind old lady offered her, making the woman smile a bit.

After the group finished, Y/N left the place feeling the load on her back slightly lessen. Not much, but enough to take the first step out of darkness.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She noticed how Leigh waited, sitting on the stairs. Scrolling down her phone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” The brunette stood up when she saw her, smiling kindly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Shaw.” Y/N stood next to her, her heart beats faster but she told herself that it was surely because she was crying before. “Did you run out of gasoline?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I just took an Uber today, I didn't feel like driving.” Leigh wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms, as she began to walk with Y/N. “I'm glad you could express what you feel.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sure.” Y/N smirked, while playing with the keys of her motorcycle. “Crying like a child in front of a group of people I don't know isn't too bad.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But do you feel better?” Leigh arched an eyebrow.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They stopped when Y/N reached her motorcycle and she got on it. “Yeah…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, this is yours?” Leigh pointed at the motorcycle in surprise. “I thought it was from some bearded drunk old man who mistook this place for a biker bar.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette joked and within seconds she realized what she just said, but Y/N just bit her lower lip trying not to laugh.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, too soon for someone recovering from… alcoholism. Fuck.” Leigh had always been too direct and perhaps a little cruel at times, even if she didn't want to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N finally laughed at that joke, holding the helmet in her hands. “It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad. I’m not a baby.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Good then.” Leigh turned to walk away but stopped to say something else. “Y/N?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah?” She looked up as she started the bike and made it roar.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“How can you want to save someone if you don't do something to save yourself?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Perhaps one of the best questions she had ever heard. Leigh raised an eyebrow and smiled victoriously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What are you some kind of cheap shrink or something?” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh shrugged. “I have an advice column on a website. That must give me some kind of value to my words, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gave a small laugh. “Yeah, it shows.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply, Y/N handed the helmet to the brunette who looked at her blankly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, sunflower.” Y/N made the bike roar, but Leigh still didn't move. That nickname made her narrow her eyes, not knowing how to take it. “I'll take you home, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not going to get on that.” Leigh rolled her eyes, she was definitely not going to get on a bike with a stranger -not so stranger- and much less at night. What was she? One of those bitches from Grand Theft Auto?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on! It's dark and the Ubers will take time, plus you could get any psycho here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing in defeat, Leigh snatched the helmet from her hands in complete annoyance. Y/N helped and when she was ready, she drove through the city to the brunette's house.

It wasn't too far from her house, so that wasn't too bad.

Once they arrived, Leigh hurried to get off the motorcycle and removed her helmet, afraid someone would see her. Especially her nosy mother or sister.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” Leigh said quickly, arranging her hair a bit.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You are welcome.” The dark-haired woman smiled and nodded. “Not bad for a biker.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

But far from laughing, Leigh just rolled her eyes and then saw how Y/N started her motorcycle again, ready to go.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why?” the brunette asked, making Y/N to look at her, confused.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why what?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why did you call me sunflower?” She frowned blankly. She had to know or her doubt would eat her up all week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But this time, the one who smiled victoriously was Y/N.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you next week, Shaw.” She just looked straight ahead and drove away from that house, leaving Leigh behind.

🌼 cute people i'm gonna tag here: 🌼 @oh-thats-cute - @katiemay-025 - @imnotasuperhero - @marvelogic

#leigh shaw x reader #sorry for your loss #elizabeth olsen imagine

184 notes · View notes

ywpd-translations · 7 months

Text

Ride 746: Cheering and conclusion!!

Pag 1

1: I'll win!!

2: I will!! I'll become the sixth member!! This year for sure!!

3: I'll go!!

4: I will!! On the same stage as you, Issa!!

Pag 2

1: They're neck and neck!!

For sure!!

Pag 3

1: For sure!!

Pag 4

1: There are 50m left until the sensor line!!

2: Kuaaaa

3: Garuaaaa

Pag 5

3: Nii-chan, on!!

4: Damn, I get it

This resolution, is making me shake

5: Sugimoto!! I'm cheering for you!!

Pag 6

1: Danchiku!!

2: 30m left!!

Pag 7

2: I think I can hear, mixed together with Sadatoki's voice

3: Kawada's cheering

4: It's surprising, but I'm grateful

It's turning into strength for me, Kawada

6: Imaizumi....

Pag 8

1: is watching quietly

Can't be helped

2: They're the three core third years who put together the club

They can't afford to support one of us

4: But, maybe, if you supported me

5: I would have been

6: several times more strong than usual

Pag 9

1: I'm glad

For this training camp

2: It's been hard, but, Imaizumi, I could become your “buddy”, and run with you during these intense for days

3: Imaizumi......

4: I haven't told you yet

5: Once this race is over.... will you listen to me?

5: It's silly

A daydream

6: The reason why I want to run in the Inter High

7: I've been thinking about it since around a year ago

Before the finish line, running as teammates, wearing the same jerseys....

Pag 10

1: Go, Imaizumi!!

Got it, Teru!!

I.....

2: I thought that I want to push your back and for you to take the finish line

3: With these hands!!

Pag 11

2: Sugimoto

3: At first, you boasted that you were an experienced cyclist, but it was just words

During the first training camp, you retired halfway through

4: But you worked so hard

Secretly

5: And without resting, for three years

Sugimoto.....

6: Show me the moment your three years of progress bear fruits

Pag 12

1: Pedal!! Sugimoto!!

2: Yeah!!

Pag 13

3: Now

4: 30m!!

I'll pedal at full power!!

Pag 14

1: Garuaaaa

2: Sugimoto-san

3: You're really an amazing guy

4: I respect you from the bottom of my heart

Pag 15

1: Your heart is probably bigger than mine

2: The courage to boldly challenge, the earnestness of working so hard

The heart of never giving up until the end

3: You, who hid all that, are strong

4: Stronger than me, much more!! I finally noticed during the last lap

5: So

6: It's the end, so please

My heart is so small it can fit in the palm of my hand

Pag 16

1: Allow me to practice with you one more time, senpai!!

Pag 20

1: Garuaaaa

2: It's Danchiku

Danchiku crossed the sensor line first!!

#yowamushi pedal #yowamushi pedal translations #yowapeda #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 746 #rip to all the ppl who were cheering so hard for sugimoto i'm so so sorry for your loss ;A;#also im so sad too ;A;#but honestly im also sad for danchiku bc literally everyone but kabu was cheering for sugimoto no one was cheering for him lmao #maybe he'll get on the team but everyone would have preferred having sugimoto asdsafhjldf thats so sad #btw imaizumi screaming for sugimoto ;A;#sugimoto being so in love with him hes such a simp #he even imagines imaizumi calling him teru ;A;#i wonder whats gonna happen now.....#next chap is 24 pages so many things are waiting for us next week *eyes emoji*

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artful-aries · 1 year

Note

Hello. I am having a difficult time coping with the loss of a pet. Could I request Scaramouche, Childe, and Tighnari comforting an SO who has just lost a pet?

Hello anon!!! Sorry it took me a bit to get around to this. I am very sorry for your loss, I know the feeling well and it is hard no matter if it’s your first pet or your tenth. Sending love 💜

How They Comfort After You Lose A Pet (Scaramouche, Childe, Tighnari)

Scaramouche:

Admittedly, he wouldn’t get why you were making such a big deal about it at first. It’s not that he doesn’t understand why you’re grieving, but he would be mystified as to why you’re coming to him about it

He would awkwardly say “Sorry for your loss…” and maybe put a hand on your shoulder to give you comfort

Scara wouldn’t have his usual look of disdain or biting remarks; he knows to pull back the attitude while you’re going through a hard time

When you fall asleep or leave for a while, he is going to secretly make you a stuffed animal that looks like your lost pet and leave it on your pillow

He will totally deny that he is the one who made it, but when he thinks you aren’t looking he will smile softly at how you’re admiring what he made you

Overall, Scaramouche isn’t the best at comforting, but he certainly tries to put his best foot forward. He’s better at indirectly making you feel better rather than talking through your grief

Childe:

The minute he sees you crying, he will internally panic, expecting the absolute worst news possible

Hearing that your beloved pet has passed away, Childe will take the time to pick you up and find a comfortable spot just to hold you for a while and talk

He’s very experienced with making people feel better thanks to his siblings, so he would pretty much have all his bases covered

Childe is going to hold you, soothingly rub your back or arms as you cry, and tell you that it’s going to be okay. He lets you cry as much as you need to, because he knows it is important

He’ll ask what you need him to do, whether it’s helping you take care of yourself, leaving you alone to grieve, or helping take your mind off things. Your wish is his command, he just wants to do what you think will help

He hates to see you this sad, but he is happy that he gets to show you how much he loves and cares about you. Childe does wish it was under better circumstances, as he had also grown fond of your pet

He makes you a nice little shrine or memorial for your lost pet, making sure to engrave the name or any other important details. Having something dedicated to their memory would help you he feels

Tighnari:

Seeing you cry puts him into alert mode, thinking that you must be sick or hurt as you’re coming to him with tears in your eyes

Upon learning that your pet has passed away, some of the tension leaves his shoulders since he is relieved that you aren’t physically hurt

Tighnari will sit you down and make you a nice cup of herbal tea to calm you, and will soothingly stroke your hair or back as you drink

He would focus on talking you through your grief; he’s no therapist, but he isn’t a complete fool when it comes to helping people cope with things

He reminds you that though your pet is no longer here, you gave them the best life they could have hoped for; full of endless love and affection

It pained him to see you grieve, but he tells you that it is better to make sure that you cry and grieve properly instead of bottling up your emotions.

A bit of his mother hen side will come out, and he will insist that you stay properly hydrated. He wouldn’t want you to dehydrate yourself with your tears

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #reader insert #anon asks #genshin imagine #genshin impact headcanons #childe x reader #Childe #tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #Tighnari #tighnari x reader #Again I’m sorry for your loss anon

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forbidden-sin-bin · 3 months

Text

Hey so uh

Anyone wanna check on Em rn cause Detroit just got the L right before the Super Bowl

Anyways if it comforts you guys, imagine this is you comforting Em after the Lions lose:

I can feel his pain all the way in San Francisco oh god

#eminem x reader #eminem x you #eminem headcanons #marshall mathers imagines #marshall mathers x you #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine #eminem imagine #eminem fanfiction #marshall mathers headcanon #shhhhh #it’s gonna be okay #i’m so sorry #for your loss #Eminem #marshall mathers

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gb12d · 7 months

Text

Second Chance

Leigh Shaw x Fem Reader

Y/N's POV

Leigh and I had been dating for a two years before I broke up with her. We had met at a grief group when she had lost her husband in a hiking accident. She was hesitant to commit to a new relationship because she felt that she would be betraying Matt. I reassured her that it was okay to love and go on while still remembering Matt, but she continued on pushing me away everytime. As I open my eyes glance at her and see her speaking to Jules as I remember our last conversation before I left. "Leigh where were you?" I ask since she wasn't home the previous night. "Nothing important that you should know," she replies, making me scoff. "Do you still want to continue our us, Leigh?" I ask as she shakes her head in response, making me sad. As she answers, "No no no Leigh you're just grieving. We can make it through. "I I just can't lead you on. I just can't. It's all me I can't hurt you Y/N. We're over" she added, as I gather my things and leave, after our conversation, she doesn't approach me or make any contact. "Hey Leigh it's been a long time" I greet her.

Leigh's POV

"Hey Leigh it's been a long time" I recognise her voice yes, it's Y/N Deep down, I still miss her a lot even though we broke up because I was in love with her but was too afraid to move on since Matt. I wish I had been more mature and stopped her before she left. Instead, I let her go. I greet her back, "Y/N hey indeed it's been a while since we've seen each other" loving her endearing smile and silly demeanour. "So how are you and why are you here for as I know you don't come here often." I ask her "Oh Leigh, it's just that my girlfriend is a book worm so I'm here with her," she replied, addressing her girlfriend as I feel my heartbreak. Later she introduces me to her girlfriend, "Elisa meet Leigh and vice versa." "I don't wanna sound rude but me and Jules has some work so we'll take your leave," I say as I walk away feeling heartbroken as all I could think of was my old memories with Y/N.

Y/N's POV

She left, leaving me confused if she still loves me given the fact that how I made her feel when I brought up Elisa."Babe I I don't feel good I'll head home" I kiss Elisa and head back to my home as I think of my old memories with Leigh. My memories with Leigh filled my entire head as I dozed off in bed. After a year, I had a dream about her with her outrageously gorgeous smile and her stunning emerald eyes as we were in our spot. I didn't want her to leave us there, as she always does, but she stayed and made me smile as I woke up and glanced at my phone. I frantically called Elisa after I missed our dinner date, "Babe, I'm really sorry as I told you I was not well." To which she asked me and I went silent. "I knew it would always be her Y/N anyway, happy anniversary," she said, cutting the call as I knew Elisa and I were no longer together. I curse Leigh for hurting my heart once more as I slam my phone down on my bed. Leigh, who appears to have been sobbing for hours, greets me as I was at her home to confront her. "Why can't I just forget you Leigh why?" I question her to which she she replies, "Because I can't get you out of my head too" making me cringe. " You left" she continues, "You didn't stop me" I defend, I heard her murmur something, and then I felt her warm lips on my own. She then kissed me, asking if I was pleased or sad. I didn't react, and finally, she began to pull away. "I'm sorry Y/N I I shouldn't have kissed" she apologizes to which I nod.

Leigh's POV

She nods "Do you still love me?" I ask who which her response confuses me "I wanna fall for you again but you're love scares me. Yes I'm scared to get heartbroken by you again Leigh" she pause "I'm willing to give you a second chance because I I can't move on from you" as I carry her to her room and cuddle into her missing her warmth, she gives me a passionate kiss, which I immediately return.

Y/N POV

Leigh didn't value me or our relationship before, but she made me feel at home. Did this second chance last long? Yes, it did, and now I'm here waiting for her at the altar to marry my love Leigh Shaw. She kept her promise to never break my heart again, and I can't wait to have her as mine forever.

#leigh shaw #leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw x reader #sorry for your loss #leigh shaw imagine #elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff

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maximotts · 2 years

Note

hey bestie,,, uhhh for those NSFW alphabet fun things,,, you know I gotta do it… leigh shaw PLS I am begging and offering french toast 😌🙏🏼

Ignore that I'm finishing this at 8pm

We all know I love Leigh endlessly and god, doing this was so so fun!! I'm excited to do the others!! Also this is a good time so post this because this is the week my Leigh fic comes out hehehe 💖 so without further ado..

NSFW Alphabet: Leigh Shaw

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Oh she's so sweet. Even if Leigh is dead tired, she'll make sure you're feeling okay and that you're both all cleaned up and settled properly. When she's too out of it to do it herself, she'll prod you to do get up, have some water, get all cozy, etc.

Above all, she's so very caring and she wants to make sure you're in your best headspace after sex. If Leigh knows you're alright, she'll feel a thousand times better.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Leigh loves her legs, mostly because she obviously does a lot of work with them at the studio and in her classes! She doesn't mind showing them off, laying them over your lap, letting you massage her thighs while you watch movies, and she absolutely melts whenever you mark up her legs with dark hickeys.

Her favorite on you are your hands. Before she met you, she was in severe drought for a caring touch. While you were just friends, you still always met her with such love, it almost brought Leigh to tears.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

When you first started dating, Leigh was more squeamish about it. Not in a prudish way, but she always looked away whenever you licked your soaked fingers after pulling them out of her.

Now she thinks it's hot and typically she's the one to pull you up for a kiss after you've finished eating her out.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It's a simple thing, something she doesn't truly need to keep secret, she just hasn't been able to figure out how to ask you for it: Leigh is fairly sure she's got a bit of a degradation kink, based off the times you've gotten more carried away and said things you apologized profusely for later.

She wishes you'd stop apologizing and call her your pretty little slut again because she's never cum harder.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

While she's very much not a virgin, Leigh had never been with a woman before she met you. That meant she often felt really out of place/unexperienced whenever she was with you, but you never looked down on her for it.

Leigh's a smart woman, hates feeling out of the loop tbh, so let's just say she was very intent on not being inexperienced for long. There was a lot of reassurances because as much as you'll never say no to Leigh wanting to take control, you didn't want to pressure her, but nowadays she is very knowledgeable and very good at what she does.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

She loves being on top, even if you're the one calling the shots. Especially if you're using a strap. There's nothing better than that deep, full feeling when she gets to ride you until she's fully spent.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

It's very easy for Leigh to fall into her head and that's when she'll get more serious about it, or when she wants you to fuck her for a distraction. Either way, she loves that you always try and bring levity in- if you tickle her sides, she'll giggle; if you blow raspberries on her tummy, she'll poke at you for being silly.

Some days it can be hard for her to truly let go, but she appreciates it so much when she can. Leigh loves to laugh and have fun during sex, it's more satisfying for her that way!

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

The girl is so Type A I feel like she's always well groomed. Not that she waxes necessarily, I don't see her doing that all the time, maybe more for vacations or beach days. On the daily, I'd say she's trimmed and neat about it!

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

She likes intimacy, but she doesn't need it to be romantic to enjoy sex. The first few times you fucked certainly were nooot intimate at all; they were quick and had no strings attached... but then she started having feelings for you.

As soon as she did, Leigh needed that intimacy, needed you to know how much she felt... her demeanor changed, her kisses lingered, she wanted sex to last longer.

If she's in a relationship, she expects some sort of intimacy even if it's just a quick wellness check in before you fuck her into the mattress.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Leigh splurged and bought herself a lovense lush toy, fully thinking it was gonna be super overhyped, but when she got it, she found out it really was just as good as it seemed. For a while she just loved the discreet nature of it, how she could put it in while she was on FaceTime with you and if she was sneaky enough, she could get herself off even while you were busy working.

Eventually she let you connect to her toy control's though and you made up for all of those times you missed out on her orgasms.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

We already talked about the semi-hidden degradation kink, but on the whole, Leigh is unapologetic in asking for what she wants. This kind of goes in hand with the degradation, but she absolutely loves dirty talk.

Talking in general is a big yes from her because it helps her stay present, but talk her through her orgasm well enough- "fuck, you're taking my fingers so well, already clenching around me and everything... I want to watch you cum for me" and you'll find her eyes rolling back to her head, nails scraping down your back, etc.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Her favorite of all is bed; sometimes she thinks that makes her boring, but she doesn't care. She likes being comfortable and she can go longest by herself or with a partner sprawled out in bed.

Also it's perfect for falling asleep right after you're done and she doesn't have to worry about anything past changing her sheets after particularly messy nights.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Leigh adores feeling wanted. Nothing turns her on more than watching your face light up when she wears a nice set of lingerie for your enjoyment or honestly, something as simple as telling her what a good job she's done planning a new event as work.

During sex, whispering about how good she feels, how pretty she looks, etc. can make her cum on the spot

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

Any hard kinks, specifically anything that involves pain. The last thing she wants to do is hurt you or mark you permanently nor would she want you to do it to her either.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

She ends up receiving most often, but doesn't have any problems giving. It's partially due to Leigh's inexperience (as we mentioned before) with going down on a woman prior to meeting you; you never want to push or overwhelm her and typically fall into making your way down her body and staying until her brain is too fuzzy to function.

That being said, Leigh isn't bad at oral by any means! She's great, you taught her well.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

100% a fan of slow and sensual if she's in charge. She wants to see you, needs to know you're real and present and not going anywhere. She loves holding onto you, scratching her nails down your back, burying her face in your shoulder, really surrounding herself in all of you.

She's not opposed to rough though, loves it too, but she doesn't ask for it that often. Usually you're the one who'll manhandle her or set the tone for some fast sex that she'll fall into it. Which works because some nights the poor girl just doesn't want to think and she needs you to force it all away.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

For Leigh, they're a means to an end. She prefers proper sex, but she won't say no to a romp in the car or even in the park if you promise to be quick about it.

Occasionally she'll say no because the location embarrasses her (i.e. a store fitting room or the locker rooms at the gym), but if you get your hands on her fast enough, it's not too hard to weaken her willpower.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

It's rare she initiates an experimental thing, mainly because she wouldn't know the first place to go looking for things to try. But if you bring something up to her and it's clear you really want to give it a go, usually you can persuade her into doing anything at least once.

Even if she complains about it.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

Ohhh when you first met her, you thought she'd tap out after just one, but you were pleasantly surprised Leigh can go all night if you pace her out enough.

She wants to hate when you do... the edging, the overly-sensitive orgasms, how sleepy she gets only to be met with your smug little grin inches away from her face... but she can't; you make her feel too good.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I'd say Leigh owns a few vibrators, definitely at least one dildo. She uses them on herself mostly, but there have been times where she uses them on you. She doesn't admit it often, but she loves to watch you squirm and shake, especially when she can take credit for it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She'll tease if she's feeling up to it, like if it's a special day or if she wants your attention. She can be very persuasive when she feels neglected!

In general, Leigh's a cute tease above anything, examples are: bending over in shorts she knows you can see her ass in, going in for a sweet kiss only to blindside you with her tongue in your mouth, sliding past you in tight spaces to wiggle against you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Leigh tends to be fairly quiet; not because she's necessarily ashamed, but she worries that if she's too loud you'll tell her to hush.

Further into your relationship, you start noticing how she bites her lip or finger to hold herself back and you're quick to stop her, forcing her jaw open or pulling her hand away from her face. Now she knows you like to hear her... but she still makes you work for it.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Early in your relationship, Leigh was still learning your schedule, assumed you were at bored at work, and sent you a... quite suggestive picture of herself in her post-class outfit half out of it really.

Turns out you were at home and, living pretty close to the studio, you rushed down there and fucked her in the same room you found her in. Thankfully she was between classes, but every time Leigh looks at the mirror panel in the far corner and remembers how you'd stretched out her shirt and nearly ripped her leggings with how frantically you needed to get your hands on her, she shivers.

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

For lack of a better word, Leigh is just... beautiful. The first time you were allowed to go down on her, you stared until she closed her legs out of nerves, but as soon as you could coax her to part them again, you dove straight in.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It ebbs and flows really. Some weeks she'll be on you every time you turn a corner, pulling you to some secluded area for a quick fuck, or anything she can get out of you in the limited time she bought.

Other times, when Leigh isn't having a great brain time, she's just more shy and reserved. If she asks for something, it most likely comes in the form of her arms around your waist and gentle kisses until you catch on to what she's after.

Z = ZZZ ( how quickly they fall asleep after sex)

If she's not too in her head, Leigh will snuggle up and sleep so easily, it startles you. Truly she can be mid-sentence and then you'll hear silence and after, light snoring.

Sometimes, she'll beg you to fuck her to sleep which of course, you oblige happily.

#leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw fic #leigh shaw smut #sorry for your loss fic #maximotts #motts writes.

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fandomnerd9602 · 5 months

Text

Y/N keeps blowing raspberries on Leigh’s pregnant belly…

Leigh: (laughs) stop that!

Y/N: why? it makes you laugh

Leigh: imagine what our baby is thinking!

Y/N: I have two weirdos for parents?

Leigh: that’s a given.

Y/N just goes right back to it…

#sorry for your loss #sorry for your loss Leigh shaw #leigh shaw #leigh shaw x reader #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #sorry for your loss imagine #pregnant #domestic fluff

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messedupfan · 1 year

Text

Benefits of Car Troubles | Part 3

Summary: Who is the baby daddy?

A/N: This honestly doesn't have to be canon to this story, Idk how I feel about it but I hope y'all enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | 1 & 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Babe?” You hear your fiance call you from the other room. You set down the picture of the two of you on the shelf you had just put up in your new house. The two of you had got it together and you were thrilled to finally be unpacking everything you've moved in.

“Yeah?” You walk into the room that will be her space to herself and stop wide eyed at the door.

“How does this look?” Teddy stands in front of you, naked and biting her finger nail. A little shy about her stunt to get your attention.

“I, uh, I, wow,” you clear your throat to move your eyes from her body to look her in the eyes and beam at her. “Amazing,” you step further into the room to hold her in your arms and kiss her. “Gosh, I love you so much.”

There is a tap on your shoulder and you turn around to find Leigh standing behind you, completely naked. “What about me, baby?” You smirk as you turn around to kiss her as well.

“Of course, I have love for you too,” you have a hand on the back of each woman. Then you feel a tug on your belt and you stop kissing Leigh to look down and there is her husband.

Matt is undoing your belt and unbuttoning your jeans. “What about me?”

“Ah!” You gasp as you shoot up in the bed. You sigh in relief, finding yourself alone in your bed. You check your phone for the time and toss it back on your nightstand with a groan. You throw the remaining covers off and get up so you can jump in the shower.

The dream haunts you throughout your morning. It felt so real and it was so vivid. You bring it up to Teddy who bursts out laughing at the idea of being engaged to you of all people. You begin to feel slightly offended and ask her what's so funny about the idea. “You do know that I only date women, right?” She says as she slams the hood of a car shut.

“Technically, I don't have a gender so,” you point out.

“True, but you do have a sex that apparently gets you into a lot of trouble. Which is a deal breaker for me, sorry hun.” She pats you on the back as she walks by you to inform the owner of the vehicle she's done. You shake your head as you watch her walk away. No, she wasn't your type and you weren't really interested in exploring that possibility with her, but it still hurts to be shut down. “Have you heard back from that by the way?” She asks once she returns.

“Not in a few days since I asked for a paternity test,” you say as you tighten a part in the engine. “I have a right to know for certain, y'know? But no, I should 'love this baby regardless,' which I don't know… maybe she's right.”

“Hold the fuck on, Y/n. She's refusing to get a paternity test done and expects you to stick around if it's not yours?!” You avoid her eye contact at much as possible but she didn't need you to look at her to know her statement was correct. “That’s such bullshit! What if the roles were reversed, huh? What if you knocked someone else up but claimed you wanted her? Would she stick around? Would she love that baby regardless of who the mother was?”

“Stop, Teddy, just… stay out of it. Okay? Forget I said anything,” you toss your tools on the cart and tell her to finish the job as you walk off to your office. You sigh and flip through order forms and other nonsense paperwork as you try to find another way to distract yourself from the mess that is your life.

Who is the biological father of Leigh Shaw's baby?

That seems to be the only thing anyone could talk about lately. At least those that knew about the situation in full. Which wasn't a whole lot of people, but it felt like the whole world knew. You drop your pen on your desk after spending a few minutes clicking it obnoxiously and bouncing your leg. You needed to talk to Leigh and you needed to do it now.

You get in your truck and drive to where she works. Her lunch break would occur any minute now and you were going to wait outside for her. You didn't want to argue, you just wanted to see her first. You wanted to apologize, you wanted to tell her that you don't care what the results come out to be but that you deserve to know. So does her soon-to-be ex-husband. But explain to her that you still love her and that child no matter what.

However, when you do see her. She is laughing with a coworker as he walks her to her car. And before she opens her car door, he kisses her cheek. “Oh fuck this,” you say stepping out of your truck to confront who might be the third potential sperm donor of Leigh's baby.

The guy is gone before you get to her car and you want to believe that what you saw isn’t what you think you saw but… It was getting harder and harder to remain rational when it came to Leigh. “Hey you,” you call out, catching her before she shuts her car door. She closes the door and you run to the window. “Leigh, please,” you beg through the glass. Failing to come up with anything else to say you knock on the window to get her to look at you. She turns on the car and you back away with a sigh, ready to give up. But then she rolls down the window.

“Come here to slut shame me some more?” She snaps at you.

You shake your head, “You’re not a slut. That’s not why I asked you for a paternity test.” You try to reason with her but she looks like she still doesn’t want to hear it. “How are you and the baby?” You ask as you lean against the car.

“What do you care? You don't even think she's yours,” Leigh says as she turns the car off. Letting you know she wants to hear what you have to say. It fills you with some relief. But not much.

“Leigh, that's not fair. I do care about you and about the baby,” you open her door and get on your knees. “I need you to believe that,” you plead as you timidly put your hand on her stomach. With a frown, she allows you to touch her. But she refrains from touching you. She doesn’t even look in your direction but she allows her eyes to cast down to your hand. “I do care no matter what the results are. I will love you and this baby regardless. I just, I have to know. I have a right to know.” Leigh takes a deep breath as she thinks. She puts her hand on your head and mindlessly plays with your hair. You lean your head against her side as she does. “So does your husband,” you continue. “Especially if it complicates your divorce and starts a nasty custody battle.”

Leigh scoffs at the thought of Matt fighting her for custody over a child he never wanted to exist. “He never wanted kids,” she says after you've made a good point about your concern for the paternity of her baby. “And I haven't slept with him since I started seeing you,” Leigh admits, causing you to snap your head to look at her face as she tells you what you've wanted to hear. “Believe me when I tell you, this baby is a hundred percent yours. There was never a doubt in my mind.”

Your eyebrows knit together, “So, why did you ignore me all week when I asked? Why couldn't you have told me this sooner?”

Her hands stop moving in your hair, she moves her fingers to your cheek to trace your features. “Because, it made me feel like a whore. Like I was guilty of something I didn't do. Like you think of me as this woman that sleeps around so much she doesn't know who got her pregnant. Like you don't trust me.”

“I’m sorry, my love. I never wanted to make you feel that way. That wasn't my intention at all. I wanted to avoid you and the baby getting hurt during the divorce if it turned out that she wasn't mine.”

Her lips quirk up in a soft smile. “I’m sorry I overreacted.”

“It's okay,” you grab the hand she still has on your face and you bring her palm to your lips. “I forgive you. Can we promise to not ghost each other from now on when we're upset? No matter how upset we get with each other, please?”

She nods, “I can do that. I promise.”

“Pinky promise?” you hold up your pinky with a childish grin that she adores.

A blush appears on her cheeks as she reaches out with her pinky, “I pinky swear to stop ghosting you.”

From there you offer to accompany her for lunch, which she happily accepts. She tells you where to meet her and you kiss her before leaving for your truck. The two of you share a nice meal together. Talking about important things like letting you know when she has an appointment to monitor the baby and that she is planning to live with her mother and sister until the divorce is finalized. You still offer her to move in with you but she declines. It hurts but you have to remind yourself that it’s not about you.

“So…” you drop your napkin after wiping your mouth. Part of you doesn’t want to ask your next question but you have to know. “I saw a guy kiss your cheek before I caught up to you,” she focuses her eyes on the food in front of her. “Can I ask who he is?” She sighs through her nose as she chews her food and then she drinks her soda. You clench and unclench your jaw as you wait.

“Do you trust me,” she counters with a raised eyebrow.

“I do, I just,” you exhale loudly and run your fingers through your hair. “Forget it, I guess.”

Leigh softens a bit and she reaches across the table for your hand, “Baby, I love you. That’s just my coworker. There’s nothing to worry about with him, he’s happily married to his husband.” You nod your head and smile at her as you squeeze her hand.

The time of her lunch hour ending nears and the two of you are kissing goodbye in the parking lot of the restaurant. You ask if she can come over tonight and she invites you to have dinner with her family instead. Surprised you accept the invitation and return to the shop with a wide grin on your face.

“Let me guess, y’all are talking again and y’all fucked in the car,” Teddy says as a comment to your change in mood. “But you still don’t know who’s baby that is!”

“Actually Teddy-Betty-Bear, the baby is mine and no we did not fuck in the car. Also, I’m formally being introduced to her family tonight!” You happily correct her.

“Wow, that’s great,” she crosses over to give you a hug. “I’m so happy for you, Y/n. This isn’t how I would have imagined you starting a family but I’m still proud of you.”

“Oh, you mean that in all the time you’ve known me you didn’t think I was going to become a homewrecking adulterous whore and then get a kid out of it? Do you know me at all?” The two of you share a laugh and then the both of you get back to work when another co-worker passes by and gripes about being the only person that actually works around there.

After closing the place down you shower and get dressed for dinner. You constantly check the time to assure yourself that you’re running on time. You stop by a florist to pick up a few different bouquets. One for Leigh, for her mother, and even one for her sister. Hopefully she doesn’t stomp on this one. You are a little nervous when parking your car outside of their house and you adjust your tie a few times before climbing out of the car.

When you finally knock on the door you look at your phone to make sure you haven’t missed any important messages from Leigh. There was only one text message informing you that Jules’ long time girlfriend would be joining the dinner as well. You don’t think much of it until the door is opened. Your heart drops at the sight of the woman you had slept with several months ago to get over Leigh standing in front of you.

#leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw #sorry for your loss #leigh shaw x y/n #leigh shaw x you #benefits of car troubles #messedupfan #sorry for your loss imagine #fanfiction #fanfic

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gingiesworld · 6 months

Note

Leigh Shaw x Reader.

Hey I don't if you take request.

But can you do where reader is Matt coworker and they learn that Matt been cheating on his wife so they find Leigh to tell the truth. After Leigh and Matt divorce, her and reader start to get closer?

I Don't Hate You

Leigh Shaw x GN! Reader

Requested

Warnings: Angst. Fluff.

Word Count: 1.6k+

Taglist : @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop

18+ MINORS DNI

Everyone who knew the Greer's knew how happy they were. Especially on the nights they would invite their friends to their home for game night. Y/N had also been one of the friends that was invited, being Matt's colleague and friend since the two started to work together.

As Matt was an English teacher, Y/N is an art teacher.

What they never expected was the walk in on Matt and Nina in an empty classroom.

"Oh, I'm sorry." They rambled as they looked between the two of them. "Are you?" They gestured between the two of them. "But Leigh?"

"You don't understand Y/N." Matt tried as Y/N licked their teeth.

"I think I understand that you are married to another woman." They told him. "A perfect woman I might add."

"Y/N." Nina tried as Y/N shook their head no.

"You need to end this and come clean." They told him.

"Or what?" He challenged as Y/N scoffed.

"I'll tell her myself." They told him.

"She would hate you just as much as she would hate me." He sneered as Y/N sighed.

"I don't care if she hates me." They told him honestly. "I would rather her hate me and be out of a marriage to an unfaithful bastard." Before Matt could say anything, Y/N had left the room, leaving the two alone.

Once Matt had returned home, Leigh was already in the kitchen cooking dinner. His chest tightened at the idea of coming clean.

"Hey babe, how was your day?" She asked him as he approached the fridge.

"It was good." He nodded as she smiled. "It smells good here." He stated as he watched Leigh get the lasagna from the oven.

"Hopefully it will taste good." She smiled shyly as she started to put the appropriate portions on the plates. He spent the rest of the evening, completely ignoring Y/N's words as he listened to her talk about her day, and this went on for weeks.

"You didn't tell her." Y/N spoke up as they shut Matt's classroom door. "You're still wearing your wedding ring."

"Maybe I did tell her." Matt told them as they shook their head. "Maybe we're working on our marriage. Maybe I have ended things with Nina."

"You didn't." They told him as they walked around his classroom. "I saw you with her, in her classroom. It's funny you choose to do it near my classroom."

"You don't understand." He tried again as Y/N shook their head no.

"I understand very well. You are married and you are being unfaithful to Leigh." They told him. "She is perfect in every way and you are ruining it! You are going to break her heart!"

"What's going on?" Leigh questioned as she looked between the two of them.

"Nothing babe." Matt tried as Y/N scoffed.

"Tell her the goddamn truth." They snarled as their eyes bore in his.

"It's nothing." Matt tried as Leigh raised her hand.

"Just tell me." She told the two.

"Matt has been seeing Nina. She is another teacher here." Y/N told her sadly.

"I was going to tell you." Matt tried as Leigh scoffed and walked away. Matt tried to follow her before he turned around and threw the first punch, causing Y/N to topple onto the desks, causing some to break. "You bastard!"

"I'm afraid that's you." Y/N said as they checked their head. "You did this yourself. You ruined a perfect thing."

"What's going on here?" The principal yelled as he stood in the doorway of the classroom. The two just stared the other down, neither answering the question. "Y/N, go to the hospital." He told him. "You might need stitches and you're both suspended, effective immediately." With that he left as Y/N stood up, walking past Matt and to their own classroom, grabbing their things before leaving the premises.

Leigh was sitting on her mother's sofa, crying as she confided in her. Amy remained soothing her until the doorbell rang hours later.

"Is Leigh here?" Y/N asked as Amy sighed, Leigh followed behind her. "I'm so sorry Leigh."

"Why?" She questioned. "Why did I have to find out like that?"

"I told him to tell you." They told her. "I caught them the other week and I told him he needed to tell you and end his little fling."

"So you knew all of this time?" She whispered as they nodded.

"I wanted to tell you but I wanted him to be the respectable man I thought he was and tell you." They told her. "I know you will hate me either way but I wanted you to know the truth and you deserved to know the truth." With that they left as Leigh watched them disappear inside their car and drive away.

Y/N had kept their distance from the ex couple and their mutual friends. They even got a job at a different school so they never had to see Matt or Nina.

"When you wanted to tell me, did you have other intentions?" Leigh asked as she approached Y/N at the bar.

"I didn't." They answered honestly as they nursed their drink. "I just knew that you deserved to know and I didn't care if you hated me or not, as long as you were happy and out of a relationship with an unfaithful man."

"Well, we are getting divorced." She told them as she ordered herself a cocktail. "I've moved back in with my mom and Jules."

"Good." They smiled as they turned to face her. "You look good." They told her as she smiled, wrapping her lips around the straw as she sipped her drink.

"Thank you." Her eyes soon went to their eyebrow. "Did he do that?" She questioned as they nodded. Finishing their whiskey and asking for another.

"It was after you found out." They admitted. "We both let our anger get the better of us." They thanked the bartender before sipping their drink. "And we both got suspended."

"But Matt's back at work and you're not." She stated as she watched them.

"I got a new position at a different school, it's in the neighbouring district but it's work." They told her. "I wanted to take myself away from it all, I didn't want to see either of them and I hated the reminder of the hate you may feel towards me."

"I don't hate you." She whispered as she gazed at them, an unsure feeling settling within her. "I never did." She looked away at the people dancing. "I guess I hated that you never told me when you first saw them together but then I thought that you thought that I wouldn't believe you, which I probably wouldn't." She looked back at them and then her ring finger. "I don't think I could ever hate you." She whispered as she caught their intense gaze.

The two soon started to spend time together, hanging out whether it be at their apartment or going to the club. Even one night as the two were dancing, celebrating the finalization of her divorce, Leigh started to grind against them as the music blared. Y/N's hands wrapped around her hips as they tried everything to not get hard, even as she turned around in their arms, pressing her lips to theirs, kissing with hunger and lust. When she pulled back, her eyes widened as she soon walked away, leaving Y/N to chase after her.

"Leigh!" They called out as she soon left the building. "Leigh!" They soon caught up to her as she tried to walk home. "What's wrong?" They held her arm, turning her to face them.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." She told them as they let go of her arm.

"It's ok." They reassured her as she shook her head no.

"It's not ok." She told them. "My divorce is finally over and that in there. That kiss felt so right, like we were meant to kiss and more."

"Hey." They cupped her cheeks, a soft smile on their face. "It's ok because I have been wanting to do that since you sought me out. Since you came back into my life."

"What do you mean?" She questioned as they sighed.

"I like you Leigh. Like you a lot." They told her. "I have looked forward to spending time with you, even if it's one hour in a week because I know that I will cherish that hour regardless. I know my feelings aren't likely to be reciprocated but I just." They inhaled sharply. "You deserve to know the truth." Leigh just kissed them softly, caressing their cheek as she rested her forehead on theirs.

"I really like you too." She whispered as they chuckled breathily. "But I don't think I am ready for a relationship, not after Matt."

"I won't hurt you." They told her confidently. "I won't ever look at another the way I look at you because what I feel right now will only grow in our lifetime." She sniffled as they spoke. "I guess on some level I have always fancied you, even when you were with him. That's why I was angry with him, with myself because you got hurt. You got heartbroken because of it." They gazed into her eyes. "Let me put the pieces of your heart back together. Let me be the reason that you smile when you wake up. Let me be the reason you feel happy and excited for the day because I will do everything in my power to make sure you don't ever feel pain like that, ever again." Leigh only nodded as they wiped her tears away, kissing them softly.

"Take me home." She whispered as they just nodded, wrapping their arm around her as the two walked through the streets in the early hours of the morning.

#leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw #lizzie olsen x you #lizzie olsen x reader #lizzie olsen imagine #sorry for your loss

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writing-house-of-m · 10 months

Text

Walk out

Leigh Shaw x Reader

Warnings: Not edited

Word count: 651

Summary: Everything works out for Leigh eventually

A/N: Based on this request. I don't know why people always want Leigh to be sad...

"Don't you dare walk out that door!" Leigh shouts at your back while you have one hand on the door handle.

You sigh defeatedly and turn back to face her, "It's already over Leigh, you won."

"So after everything you're just going to walk away?" Leigh asks.

You sigh then turn your attention back to the table you walked away from. It's a little embarrassing that this is happening in front of Leigh's mother and sister.

"What do you want me to do?"

Jules looks back and forth as she shares some of her popcorn with Amy who is doing the same. Maybe you should charge them for this entertainment.

"It's not like I'm going to flip the board. The rest of my money is there, you can take it all, I'm going to go watch TV," you say.

Before you can turn to leave again you hear Leigh laugh, "Come on baby, don't be a sore loser and sit with us for the rest of the game," she whines. Her clinginess recently has been a welcome change. "Just declare your bankruptcy first," she finishes with a giggle, Jules and Amy joining in.

You playfully roll your eyes, making your way back to your seat. Gathering all your money and property you distribute it according to the rules before monotonously saying, "I declare bankruptcy."

Leigh smiles at you, biting her lip. She leans over and kisses your cheek whispering a smug thank you into your skin before picking up the dice.

"The three of you are always conspiring against me in this damned game," you say looking around the table at the three women.

"We have no idea what you are talking about," Amy remarks in fake seriousness, taking a sip of her wine.

"Yeah, you're sounding a little crazy there Y/n," Jules adds.

You scoff at their playfulness and know you have a long night ahead of you before this game ends.

When the game does finally end you notice Leigh's discomfort as she tries to get up from her seat.

"Here, let me help," you say, moving to Leigh's side. You hold her hand to hoist her up while your other hand stays on her waist to keep her balanced. "I told you, you should have gotten up to stretch throughout the game."

Leigh's arms wrap around your neck, "Yeah, but then I wouldn't have been able to do this now," she says, before kissing your cheek.

"You're such a flirt Leigh Shaw," you chuckle before placing your hands on her swollen belly. "I wonder if this one is going to get that trait from you."

"Well, if not from me then they'll get it from you. Besides, it will be better than how competitive you are during board games."

You tighten your arms around Leigh's waist, "It doesn't matter if you're seven months pregnant, love, you still have to pay rent," you squint your eyes at her. "And you're saying this like you're not competitive? Who was it that wouldn't let it go when I said the wrong weapon out loud even though I had it right on my checklist, last week?" You question, with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah… This baby has no chance," Leigh jokes, making you both laugh.

"Alright love birds, you can go home now. The cleaning is done," Jules jests.

You look over to see the table has been cleared of the board game and the snacks that were littered all over it.

Amy says her goodbyes telling you to drive safe once you make it to the front door. Jules does the same before watching you walk to your car.

That night, after you have fallen asleep with your arms securely wrapped around Leigh and her bump and your heavy breathing is the only sound in the silent room. She sighs in content because things finally worked out for her.

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royaltyofmultifandom · 2 years

Text

Echo - Leigh Shaw x Reader

Summary: Y/n admits her true feelings to Leigh for her to get denied. What happens when Leigh keeps pulling Y/n in to only push her away again? Will Y/n keep coming back or will she finally leave for good?

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, smut, 18+ (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT) , drunkLeigh!, angst.

Words:

A/n: This idea kept popping up in my head so I had to write it. It was inspired by the song “Echo” by Alexander Stewart. I hope you enjoy this oneshot and as always any likes, reblogs and comments mean a lot. Also shoot me a message if you would like to be tagged in any of my works or tagged for a specific character :) enjoy!

MASTERLIST // Join my Taglist!

You first met Leigh outside of her grief group in the parking lot. Your sister was the grief counsellor for the group and you would always stop by to help hand out refreshments if you had the chance.

You remember the day Leigh Shaw finally talked to you as if it were yesterday. You had seen Leigh coming to grief group for over a year now and the therapist in you saw something in her. Over time you started to grow a crush on the woman and loved how blunt and straightforward she was; you never ever considered that one day that bluntness would hurt you more than anything else in this world.

Leigh had stayed behind a little to help your sister and you clean up. Once everything was almost done Leigh decided to call it a night mumbling a goodnight to the both of you. You had noticed she seemed more down than usual, so you spotted the extra doughnuts left over from today’s session and grabbed the box and ran out after her.

“Hey, Leigh. Can you wait up for a second” you yelled after her. Leigh stopped and turned around to face you and you felt your heart rate increase against your chest as her sage green eyes, with a blank look, stared into your own. Leigh’s brows furrowed eyebrows as she tilted to the side slightly as she wondered why you were chasing after her.

You jogged the rest of the way up to Leigh and held out the box of doughnuts while smiling widely at her as she frowned, looking down at the box of doughnuts. You caught on to her further confusion immediately.

“Oh, my sister had some of these left over and we weren’t going to eat them. You seemed a little more down in today’s session than usual and I noticed how much you love doughnuts. I thought you could use an extra pick me-up or you know, if you don’t want a pity gift then you could consider them as a thank you gift, for helping my sister and I clear up tonight” you ramble. You start scratching the back of your neck as you avoid all eye contact with her, knowing that if you did your heart might just beat out of your chest or stop completely.

“Thank you, uhm, sorry, I don’t know your name” Leigh apologises as you catch the guilty look flash across her face briefly.

“That's okay, and my name is Y/n L/n. My sister runs your grief group” you explain as Leigh nods in acknowledgement.

“Right, yeah, of course. Well Y/n L/n, it was very nice to meet you and thanks again for the doughnuts. Maybe I could see you again sometime? Outside of the grief group, maybe we could grab some coffee together one day?” Leigh proposes.

“I’d really like that, Leigh, hang on I’ll enter my number into your phone if you’d like” you suggest. Leigh flashes you a smile, the first one you’d seen off her all night, as she passes you her phone. You input your number and hand it back to her before walking Leigh to her car and watching her drive off.

Leigh texted you three days after and invited you out for coffee and that was where a beautiful friendship began. You and Leigh spent nearly everyday together for three months and your crush on Leigh only developed further until you fell completely in love with her.

Over time, as the two of you kept growing closer physically, you ended up sleeping together one night. Since that first time it became a recurring event that whenever Leigh needed you, you would be there and the two of you would have sex.

That’s what leads you to where you are right now watching her grab the rest of her clothes and walk out of your apartment without so much as a word.

**************************************

“Fuck y/n. Right th-there” Leigh moans echo your bedroom, her hips thrusting uncontrollably at the pace you’ve set with your strap.

You are completely mesmerised as you stare at the way her breasts bounce as she rides you. You bite your lip to silence yourself from groaning whilst focusing on her perky breasts and erect nipples “fuck Leigh, you are so fucking perfect. Come on baby, that's it; you can do it. Fuck yourself on my cock baby” you purr.

You thrust your hips up off the mattress as hard and as fast as you can as Leigh rides you. You place the soles of your feet flat so that you can thrust at a quicker pace and deeper into her pussy. Her head tilts back in ecstasy as she slides her hands up your torso and lands on your breasts to anchor her as she lifts her hips, sinking back down on your strap, taking the full length of the toy.

You caress her hips before gripping them a little tighter and guide her as she rides you. Pulling her hips down against you whilst you thrust into her as she runs her hands across your chest exploring the shape of your breasts, almost like she wishes to commit the feeling of them to memory.

“Fuck y/n, I’m going to cum baby” she moans as her hips speed up, chasing her high, but you have other ideas.

You lean up so you are sitting as Leigh still bucks against the strap buried within her. You bring your lips to her nipple and run your tongue over it before taking her nipple in your mouth and softly sucking and biting on it before letting it go. You move on to her other breast once again taking her nipple in your mouth as you knead the other one. You can hear Leigh’s ragged breaths as she struggles to reach the orgasm she is so desperately chasing. “Y/n baby please, I need you” she pleads.

You place a kiss just under her breast and bite the skin before soothing it over with your tongue. You pull away at her desperate pleas “need me to help you baby?” you coo into her ear. She shudders, nodding, as your breath tickles her ears just adding to her overwhelming need to cum.

Leigh nods frantically “please make me cum” she whimpers, her body becoming tired as she grinds harshly against your strap showing you how desperate she is.

“Okay baby I’ve got you” you shush her.

In one quick motion you flip her so that she is on her back and she instantly wraps her legs around your waist allowing you better access to her pussy. You pull your strap out of her until only the tip is inside her. Leigh whimpers at the temporary loss. You lean down and start kissing her lips before moving your kisses down her jaw until you reach the sweet spot on her neck. You thrust your entire length into her entrance until you bottom out just as you bite down on the sweet spot on her neck, smoothing the bite over with your tongue. Leigh’s entire body arches reactively into you as she lets out the most perfectly sinful moans which echo the bedroom walls.

You continue the thrusting into her deeply and hard whilst leaving kisses down her neck, collarbone and breasts, gently nipping her and leaving bites every so often. Leigh bucks hard against you as she runs her fingers up your arms and along your back as she digs her nails into your back to ground herself at the brutal pace you have set.

“Y/n I’m go-gonna cum, fuck y/n” she moans loudly as her walls clench against the strap as her hips and body jerk as she cums hard all over your strap. You continue thrusting into her softly until the last wave of her orgasm has washed over her. You smile at her and kiss her lips and then her forehead before pulling out of her as she whimpers slightly.

You remove the strap and throw it across the room to deal with later as you crawl up the bed and collapse next to Leigh. You place a soft kiss on her temple “you okay?” You ask, passing her some water that she politely declines. You go to wrap your arms around her and pull her into you to cuddle, but she has already leaped from the bed and began getting dressed.

This is what she always does after the two of you have sex. She gets dressed as soon as you have made her cum, leaves, doesn’t talk to you or answer your messages and calls for two weeks, calls you up to hang out, saying that she misses you and the cycle repeats itself.

Every time you try to even remotely bring up the subject of her staying after having sex, she just yells and it always ends in an argument. You keep trying, hoping that each outcome will be different, but they all end the same; her leaving.

You jump up and start getting dressed too, but this only speeds up her process as she opens the bedroom door. You run over to her and slam the door shut with your hand and gently spin her around to face you, but she refuses to look into your eyes. You bend your knees slightly as you cup her cheek, softly, rubbing your thumb over the apples of her cheeks, trying to catch her eyes with yours.

“Leigh please, don’t do this again. Okay? Just please don’t leave like you always do” you plead with her.

Leigh looks up and meets your eyes “I can’t do this, Y/n, this was a mistake. I was lonely and…” “and I was just there. I get it, Leigh. I know the whole script like the back of my hand at this point. At least you’re consistent. I’ll give you that” you cut her off sadly, finishing the same speech she always provides.

“Y/n, that’s not fair” she mumbles trying to reach out for you just so she can offer a few soft touches to pacify you before leaving just like she intended to do in the first place anyway.

“No, you know what’s not fair, Leigh? I am in love with you and have been since we met and you know this and yet you still sleep with me, leave, don’t talk to me for weeks and then repeat the cycle. You know this and you refuse to admit you feel the same way because you’re scared. I get it, Leigh. I do. You’re scared that if you let me in entirely and let yourself feel the feelings you have for me, that you’ll lose me, but I’m still here.

We do the same dance every time Leigh. You kiss me and I kiss you back; we end up sleeping together, and then you tell me it’s a mistake. But it’s not a mistake, and you know it. You know, deep down you have feelings for me too, but you won’t admit them because you’re so scared I’m gonna leave you just like Matt did or that you’re betraying him.. But I’m not going anywhere, Leigh. I am right here. I am always right here where you leave me. I tried to go slow because I thought that’s what you needed. Matt would want you to be happy and move on. I’m not going to leave you like Matt did, Leigh” you sigh, letting all your thoughts out.

Leigh glares at you before stepping forward so she can finally look you deep in the eyes “you know what I’m sick of, Y/n? You psychoanalysing me all the fucking time. You may be a therapist, but I am not one of your fucking patients, and your stupid therapy methods don’t work on me, so stop treating me like one. I don’t need you to be patient with me or tell me you aren’t going to leave me like Matt; instead you should keep my husband’s name out of your mouth. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to be with you. You’re so desperate god, you’re just a good fuck every so often” she yells exasperatedly as she throws her hands up before they come crashing back down against her thighs.

You step back as you feel a pang of hurt in your chest as if someone had just punched you in the gut. You feel the tears start to come to form in your eyes as her mossy green eyes convey nothing but anger towards you. You decide you won’t let her see how much she hurt you, so instead you swallow the lump in your throat and push down the tears.

“Fine, you know what Leigh, fine. I’m done doing this with you. From now on, don’t contact me. I am done trying to make this work. If you are afraid of your feelings then fine, but excuse me if I don’t stick around for you just to insult me and treat me like a punching bag. I refuse to let you drag me down with you. I need to distance myself from you for a while because it hurts too much to be around you anymore” you croak as your emotions become too much.

Something snaps in Leigh when she realises what is happening and her eyes shine with panic, her wide eyes glistening with unshed tears, which then soften as she attempts to reach out for you once more to try and console you. You step back away from her shaking your head as you shrug her off, leading her to the front door as you hold it wide open.

“Y/n please I didn’t mean what I said” she apologises, her eyes pleading you not to do this.

You continue to hold the door open and look down at the ground, avoiding her eyes “bye Leigh” you mumble. Leigh’s tears escape her eyes as she comes to the realisation that she really fucked up this time and wipes them away with the palm of her hand as they fall. She tries to catch your eye once more but gives up knowing you have made up your mind and steps out your apartment door, nearly hitting her on the way out.

As soon as the door is closed you let yourself break down and slide down the door in pain as you feel your heart break, the echo of her voice still in your head.

Little do you know, Leigh is breaking down in her own car as she replays the conversation over and over knowing every single thing you said was right. It takes Leigh a good hour before she can compose herself enough to drive home, but as she does her heart feels shattered.

******************************

You wake up to the vibrations your phone is making as its screen lights up the room from your bedside table. You let out a groan, cursing whoever is calling you in the middle of the night, and reach over blindly to answer the phone without bothering to check the caller ID.

“Hello” you answer groggily as you try to rub the sleep out of your eyes as you struggle to keep them from drooping shut again.

“Y/n baby. I-I am so s-sorry. I can’t stop thinking about you, please ignore…..forgive me. I-I need you baby…I need you close to me a-all the time. I fucked up…god I fucked up baby, I ne-want you close to me” Leigh's slurred voice comes through your phone.

Starting to wake up you hear by her hiccuping and slurred dialogue that she is drunk somewhere. You sigh, this happens a lot.

Leigh blows up at you and pushes you away and then she ends up at some nightclub or bar drunk and phones you apologising and you fall back into her arms every time.

“Where are you? I’m picking you up” you insist. You start to slowly lose your patience like you always do when she keeps slurring her words and not forming any coherent sentences.

Eventually, after fifteen minutes of softly demanding that Leigh give her phone to a bartender do you find out where she is. The bartender informs you that he will keep her safe and cut her off until you arrive to take her home.

Leigh begins to get upset and sniffles when you tell her you have to hang up so you can drive to her.

“Leigh please baby. I need to hang up so I can come meet you at the bar, I’m coming so you need to hang up. The sooner you hang up the sooner I’ll be there” you bargain with her. Eventually, she relents and makes you promise that you’ll be there soon which of course you do.

After quickly flinging on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt, you grab your phone and keys and set off to retrieve Leigh. The whole drive all you can hear is the echo of a combination of different fights you’ve had with Leigh along with all her moans and bursts of laughter. You can’t help thinking that you can’t keep doing this anymore if she refuses to give you even a little reassurance apart from drunk calls that she feels the same way as you do.

Eventually, you find Leigh at the bar sipping on some water. You head over to her and wrap your arms around her waist and you can’t help but feel elated when you see the way her sad face lights up with adoration when she sees you.

“Y/n” she sighs contentedly as she allows her head to lull back against your shoulder allowing the alcohol to fully possess her. You sigh and shake your head when you realise she’s passed out in a drunken state. You thank the bartender and grab her in a bridal hold and take her out to the passenger side of your car. You gently place her in the seat and buckle her seatbelt before gently shutting the door. You then climb in the driver’s seat and drive her back to her apartment.

You pick up her handbag that she had at the bar and rummage for her keys. Once found, you get out of the car and open her apartment door before racing back to the car to gently lift her out. Once in your arms Leigh wraps her arms around your neck subconsciously and snuggles into you chest sighing in her sleep. You shut the car door and lock it before making your way up the stairs and into her apartment, kicking the door shut behind you.

You place Leigh gently on her bed and take her dress off before tucking her under the covers and rolling on her side to ensure she doesn’t choke if she’s sick during the night. You then head into her kitchen and grab a tall glass of water and some tablets for her head, that she will no doubt require in the morning, and place them on her bedside table.

You kneel beside her and brush the hair away from her eyes and mouth as you gaze at her peacefully sleeping with the occasional soft snore falling past her lips. You think it’s adorable and only find yourself wishing that you could wake up to her at least once.

As much as you are in love with Leigh, you know things will never change. Leigh will go back to wanting to spend everyday with you and as soon as the two of you sleep together again she’ll be gone.

You can’t keep holding on to hope that she might change or hold on to the echo of her anymore.You sigh defeated and place a soft kiss to her forehead before grabbing the blanket on the couch and settling down on it to try to get some sleep.

**************************

When Leigh wakes in the morning a rush of pain hits her forehead and makes her dizzy. Disorientated, she attempts to piece her night together. One minute she was thinking of calling Y/n to apologise in the bar and then everything goes blank. Leigh brings her gaze down and notices she is just in her underwear and her dress is on her chair in the corner of her room. When she glances to the left she sees a glass of water and some tablets on her bedside table.

How the hell did she get home?

She groans as she sits on the edge of her bed at the throbbing in her temples. She takes the tablets and gulps the water down before gathering the courage to get up to retrieve another glass for her dry throat.

Leigh stops in her tracks as she enters into her kitchen and sees you lying passed out on the sofa. So that’s how she got home, she pieces it together and groans internally when the flashbacks of her calling Y/n drunk come to the forefront of her mind. Leigh smiles at how soft and peaceful you look as you sleep and decides to make some coffee to thank you.

She doesn’t deserve you, not after the way she treated you. She acknowledges this but still can’t help but to feel excited that you came to her rescue last night. Surely that means you still care right?

***************************

You wake up to the strong smell of freshly brewed coffee and your stomach rumbling. Groaning and stretching you wake yourself up and blink the sleep out of your eyes as they adjust to the light flooding through Leigh’s living room windows.

“Hey, sleepy head” you hear Leigh softly greet you good morning. You mumble a non-coherent good morning as you sit up and accept the mug of coffee she made for you.

Leigh sits next to you and pulls her legs up to her chest as she cradles her cup of coffee in both hands. You take a sip of your coffee and look over to see her looking at you intently.

“Can we talk?” she questions nervously. You nod but stay silent allowing her to speak first.

“I am so sorry Y/n. I know I keep apologising and you don’t deserve that but I need you to know that I never meant a single thing I said that night. I just snapped because every single thing you said was true, I am scared of losing you. Scared of moving on from Matt. I know about your feelings towards me and I have always been aware of them and I’ve not been fair to you. I do love you Y/n, I am in love with you.

I wish I could take everything I’ve done back and just have stayed with you that night believe me but I can’t. All I can do is promise it will never happen again Y/n, I love you. You aren’t just a good fuck, you’re everything to me and I know I have done nothing to make you believe that. Please baby, just give me one more chance. I’ll do anything. Please baby, just let me love you the way you deserve to be loved, to love you the way you love me” she pleads with unshed tears in her eyes.

You sigh, shaking your head as you stand up, placing your mug on the coffee table.

“I can’t Leigh, I’m sorry. I love you but it's just too late” you conclude as your bottom lip trembles at the threat of spilling all your own unshed tears.

Leigh shoots up and places her coffee down and rushes to your side and brings both her hands to your cheeks, wiping away the tears that have fallen. She lifts your face so that your eyes meet hers and you see the pain in her eyes.

“Please baby, it's not too late. I love you just give me a chance” she desperately sobs letting her own tears hit her cheeks, soothingly rubbing her thumbs against the apples of your cheeks.

You reach up and take her hands in yours and you see a glimpse of hope flicker in her hopeful eyes before you lower her hands away from your face.

“You haven’t taken responsibility for holding my heart the way you do. You have known this whole time I have worn mine on my sleeve Leigh so, what else can you expect me to do? If you don’t end it when this is over then you leave me lonely and brokenhearted. Cause everytime you leave me you break me slowly and you’re not there afterwards but you still have a hold on me” you croak.

Leigh tries to reach out for you but you take a step back as she begins to sob begging you to stay, her heart breaking every time you step out of her reach. Is this how she left you every time? Her heart feels like it is slowly shattering and she begins to understand your words.

“If you don’t stop calling, then I can’t let go when you’re drunk and telling me that you need me close. Cause I will come running back to you everytime Leigh but I don’t think my heart can take this cycle we have anymore. Please baby, don’t keep me haunted by your ghost because when you leave me all I hear your echo in my mind constantly” you sob pleading for her to let you go as she is pleading for you to give her one more chance.

“I keep holding on to the possibility that you and I can turn into us. But when that hope turns into dust it's worse than a death of a thousand cuts. So please, can you end it when it’s over?” Leigh shakes her head in denial at your plea.

“No baby, I am sorry but I can’t. I want you and you want me just let me make this right I’ll do anything baby, plea-please don’t leave me” her voice catches in between her uncontrollable sobs as she protests and your heart breaks even more than it already has at letting her go. This was all you wanted but you can’t take the chance of her changing her mind again because you won’t survive this time. You hold her tight against your chest and kiss the crown of her head as your tears fall into her hair and you battle with the lump in your throat and pain coursing through your chest.

“Your echo is in my mind, my body and in my heart every time you leave me Leigh and I won’t survive another. I lay in bed in a wreck trying to forget the echos of every argument after sex, the speech you give me everytime, I can’t do it again baby. You have to let me go” you pull her away from your chest and really look at her trying to convey how desperate you are for her to end your suffering. You love her of course you do. Your eyes fill with new tears and the pang of hurt hits your chest and gut once more at the thought of leaving her but you have to and deep down so does she.

You cup her face in your hands and graze your thumbs over her lips and cheeks and place your forehead against hers “If you don’t stop calling, then I can’t let go. All I hear is your echo. Please baby, don’t keep me haunted by your ghost. Let me go” you completely break and sob with her.

You both know at that moment it’s over and god it hurts.

You place a kiss to her forehead and let it linger there for what feels like eternity before pulling away and heading towards the door.

Leigh catches your hand, her lip trembling as another shot of pain shoots through her chest as fresh tears drop from her eyelids.

“I love you baby, maybe one day I’ll stop being an echo and bring you peace and love instead. Maybe one day we’ll be together. I’ll always hold on to that hope Y/n but I understand why you can’t. I can’t be your echo anymore and I love you enough to let you be happy and move on without me” she sniffs.

You squeeze her hand one last time “maybe one day” you mumble back before letting go of her hand and walking out her door for the last time.

Leaving Leigh alone once again just like Matt.

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