1.08
-bugs 🪲
-Dean is scamming people for money to support them and Sam wants to do honest work but really it’s about him wanting to be normal and not live the way their dad raised them. Dean starting scamming when he was what, 10? There’s something so delicious and seedy about Dean scamming money for the both of them and just letting Sam be a princess about it.
-“Don’t drop me” Sam says to Dean. I think Baby said that to Swayze in Dirty Dancing.
-Sam GRINS the first time they’re mistaken for a couple, like a blushing can’t-help-himself grin
The second time, Sam looks shamefaced and when Dean smacks his butt he looks caught
I do think Sam knows he’s too into Dean and is trying to stifle his feelings. Dean is much better at writing off his feelings but he’s also impulsive and obsessed with Sam so of course he takes the opportunity to smack his ass.
-this is the episode where Sam and Dean discuss their dad and how they were raised. Sam got yelled at for wanting to do normal things, while he thought John saw Dean as perfect. Dean doesn’t correct him on this or complain about John even though being perfect most definitely was not his experience.
Dean tells Sam “Dad was never disappointed in you. Never” and says John used to check up on him at college to make sure he was safe. Dean assures Sam “he was scared. He was afraid of what could’ve happened to you if he wasn’t around.”
Dean is talking about himself and John at the same time throughout this conversation. He over-identifies with his dad because he was raised to be his dad’s partner and double. He sees Sam’s criticism of John as criticism of him too. This kind of codependence shows up as little to no recognition that your feelings and the other’s feelings might be different. John, too, often sees Dean as an extension of himself. Because their codependence is so ingrained, the way his relationship with John changes throughout the seasons directly affects his relationship with Sam. Through s1, following dad equals keeping Sam safe.
It’s not like that for Sam. He can see their lives more clearly because he wasn’t parentified, because he had Dean to take care of him. He’s frustrated with Dean for always following John but Dean following John is kind of the reason Sam doesn’t have to.
-Sam was clearly feeling troubled and Dean could see that. Sam is driving the impala in the next scene. Did Dean offer to let him drive to make him feel better?
-There’s no earthly reason for them to stand this close together to look for a man at a cafe.
-Now that Sam has been reassured that their dad loves him and he feels better, Dean is driving again.
-I don’t think they realize that this much proximity is unusual for brothers
-episode focused on Sam reckoning with his resentment toward John.
-Also interesting how often the theme of Dean being a liar recurred. He is so comfortable with lying that it’s a part of him. It’s not clear what he is lying about in the episode that isn’t explicitly stated other than about being completely fine with the way he was raised.
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Sam Winchester’s jelly bracelet in every episode
S01E08: Bugs
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