#still doesnt change that this is my biggest audience yet

[quotidian-oblivion]

🎶I am filled with so much anxietyyy🎶

#quotidian convos #have a public speaking thing tomorrow #but the crowd isnt like my usual crowd #these are... actual professionals #accomplished people and leaders and people who are some of the best in their fields and jobs #and even though i'm only holding a 3-5 min activity (with a partner) #still doesnt change that this is my biggest audience yet #in terms of number as well as who they are #and also that every single person in the room are adults except me and my group #well its good to be in a group #i have a friend and we meet each other every other public speaking event #and she's so cool yall you dont even know #she's like one of THE coolest people i know #and her outfits are SMASHING #so cant wait to see her again!! #but yeah still filled with anxiety and nerves and stuff #*takes deep breath* it will be fine tho. it will be fine! #because as sprite said #public speaking is *my* bitch #(thanks sprite ^^)

[itsdefinitely]

things i noticed on the opening night of beetlejuice at the national theater

putting a read more because this is a long post

-didnt change the whole being dead thing unfortunately :(

-there was no sandy in the whole being dead thing :(

-justin collette does what i can only describe as a gay voice (he also does The Voice really well; its consistent!!)

-at the pose for the whole being dead thing, beetlejuice motions for the crowd to keep cheering (a lot) until rhe crowd is screaming and then he starts. uh. well. hm.

-the purple curtains that are slightly open and emit smoke are used for scene changes

-"and then the b-man is free and the mai tais are on me" someone in the audience: "woo!" "yeah, woo. woos for all of us"

-beetlejuice does that thing when you pretend to walk down the stairs behind the couch

-they changed ready set not yet to be about wiring!

-the maitlands die of an electric shock instead of falling to their death

-beetlejuice exited stage right, and then walked down the stairs when entering next; he just kept teleporting around the stage like that

-when beetlejuice was being melodramatic about the puppet show, he got on the floor to keep screaming

-"that was one heck of a shock" dont judge me. i like the line changes.

-barbara dry heaves after finding out she died

-they kept barbara's hand being on fire!!

-during the whole being dead thing pt 2, beetlejuice reads off his hand to remember how to spell his name

-during the whole being dead thing pt 2, beetlejuice does a think where he pretends hes riding a horse (yknow at the end when the horse walking sounds happen)

-everyone started cheering when beetlejuice was doing the thing with adam on the chair… you know the one… so he KEPT GOING AND PRETENDED HE WAS RIDING A HORSE (a theme that may continue to appear later)

-okay i dont know how to describe it, but adam and barbara are played in a way that is Violently Bisexual (i love it so much oh my god)

-LYDIA IS PLAYED LIKE A TEENAGER!!

-i wasnt really sure about delia at first but i love that she mispronounces So Many Words (like. more than Leslie Kritzer did)

-instead of the house going back, the purple curtains lower again during dead mom

-THE COMEDIC TIMING ON "…aaaand thats how i got herpes."

"…"

"…"

"frOM KATHARINE HEPBURN!!"

-barbara and adam are so good auuughhhhhhh theyre so much more. i dunno. uh. in touch?? like, they feel less like dorks (still dorks though)

-when adam interrupts beetlejuice's soliloquy, theres like the biggest pause.

-"im sorry guys, ill pay you for the full day" as the soliloquy chorus is leaving

-"you make." dramatic pause "daddy." another dramatic pause "SO angry."

-i love barbara so much in this shes more of a girlboss than usual

-okay i know how to describe it now. there is so much like. body language in this. adam is a lot more raunchy, barbara is a lot more realistic (she flosses at one point), and there is SO much hip thrusting from beetlejuice (no t-rex arms though)

-they close the curtains again, and only half of it opens for delia's scene (amazing staging)

-delia doesnt do the fortnite dance during no reason

-lydia sounds so much more genuinely confused than amused when she says "is this still about me?"

-adam and barbara with sheets over their heads project on the screen behind lydia

-the curtains raise when lydia chases them, and its the attic again

-"perhaps i myself am strange and unusual"

-she sounds so heartbroken when barbara asks "and your mom?" "dead."

-"should we get the sheets?" "adam" "we should get the sheets" "adam." "no no no we should-" "ADAM" looks at each other walks offstage without the sheets (it was probably to stall for the scene change)

-like with no reason, half the curtain raises instead of all of it

-"i am very good at sex." its so funny to me because delia is played as So over-the-top and this is Completely deadpan

-lydia is so whiney (i dont know any other way to describe it) when she says "and their eyes are mad of the deeevill" it feels like a real teenager

-being able to hear every footstep after "i wish i were dead."

-half the curtain raises again, the opposite side to the previous scene

-no wig change :(

-they kept the extra arm/leg!!

-green lights when beetlejuice says "im gonna have a new best FRIEEEEEEEEEEND"

-this is mostly unchanged, but i love all of it anyway

-they kept beetlejuice burning the note

-when beetlejuice gets knocked off, theres a projection of the smoke ring

-say my name gets extended at the end!! at the "gonna make him say me name (make him sya your name)" part!! for an extra 2-4 bars i think

-ah yes. this is the scene.

-lydia pretends to do a ballet move (i cant remember what its called)

-delia isnt wearing lingerie, and her dress doesnt get ripped off

-everybody cheers for day-o (as they should)

-no pig, but we have the small plate with the meat hand on it, and maxie dean's wife says that line (the deep "daylight come and me wan go home")

-beetlejuice still emerges from the table!!

-all the green spotlights on him when he says:

-"it's showtime"

-HE DID THE. HE SAID THE THING!! HE SAID THE THING!!

-obviously, no big face and hands, but they hand wood/cardboard (cant tell which, probably wood) versions of them

-they keep the carnival projection on the stage

-"guess we're not invisible anymore"

-can i mention again the justin collette does The Voice??? its slkdkcidiwoksmcnskkw

end of act one

-SKYE!!

-theres no physical house prop, but the curtains are lowered and the house is projected onto it

-the projection and all the lights turn red when skye inhales deeply

-skye does her best not to look at lydia

-EVERYBODY LAUGHING WHEN "well we're really not supposed to" "why?" "pedophiles :]"

-i couldnt see it clearly, but i think skye had a fire instead of a flashlight

-"boo"

-this part is mainly unchanged too, but i really really like it still

-skye runs out the door (instead of walking up the stairs and disappearing)

-beetlejuice clones!!

-the pie lady actually catches the pie (when i saw it on broadway she didint)

-theres no "that looks like a penis" :(

-i love the npr tote bag. i kinda want one

-beetlejuice doesnt put on a sad little kid voice when talking about his mother drinking. its more like it happened when he was a teenager/young adult. he also doesnt do the "i shouldve left like your-" sad sad about to cry voice "father" he says the line, but his voice doent break. hes more mean

-"get her to marry me" clones: "huh????" "oh, its like a uhm. green card thing." clones: "ohhhhh" "yeah, yeah. strictly business"

-during that beautiful sound pt 2 (which i adore) beetlejuice makes a zip your mouth kind of motion when the clones are supposed to be quiet, which like. is that possession??

-the transition between these scenes is beetlejuice directing two of his clones to run in circles while the set around them gets moved

-i love the glowy effect with the book (also you can hear every page turn)

-picking up a metal detector "i never even used this. and then i felt bad that i never used it" pretends to use the metal detector "beep beep beep beep"

-"get right outside my comfort zone" LEANS TO THE SIDE AND RUNS HANDS DOWN TORSO

-delia jumping up on the couch

-delia and charles's dramatic sighing

-OKAY HOLY FUCK. THE WAY OTHO SAYS "toyota prius" BROKE MY BRAIN HE LIKE. THERES AN ACCENT AND HE ROLLS THE R

-i just. i like otho

-"the b is silent, but it still stings" "no, not that one" "why say doubt, when you can stop at do" "not that one" "doubt. it has a 'u' but it doesnr have a 'me'" "thats the one"

-"ugh classic maitlands. yknow what?" steps towards the edge of the stage, looking at the audience "theyre the real villains of this show" lydia: "what?" "nothing"

-"classic bait and switch, oldest trick in the book" looks off to the side and sighs

-"Normally, I perform exorcisms por bono, but you made me come to-" the most disgusted voice "-Connecticut"

-barbara still floats!!

-no wig change for the whole being dead thing pt 4

-theres still the fire clickers!!

-beetlejuice comes from the stairs instead of rising from the floor

-i never noticed this before but otho, delia, and charles get bound by chains

-adams mouth gets sealed shut its so cool aaae

-"i want you… to marry me!" everyone: "WHAT?" very exasperated "oh cmon guys its a greencard thing"

-good old fashioned wedding my beloved

-the door is still green and expels fog

-"classic bait and switch, oldest trick in the book!"

*pause*

"why does everyone keep leaving me :D" he doesnt even sound mad. then,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

it went on for at least 30 seconds (probably more)

i cannot stress enough how long that scream went on for

-*holding his head in his hands, the most tired and defeated voice ever*

"alright. new plan."

"youre all going to die"

*happy cheery joyful*

"TOODAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY"

-flashing lights going on for forever as they change to the netherworld (i know it takes a bit to change scenes but my eyes Hurt)

-they do the thing with the white square things lighting up one by one

-miss argentina has a southern accent and mispronounces argentina

-IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOOOOWWWWW

-angry pygmys still shrunk his head <:(

-juno was like. too much for me i think. tone her down a little. also, she doesnt have the smoke machine that makes it look like she's smoking (still has a cigarette though)

-chase sequence!!

-lydia is genuinely so heartbreaking (she is usually but this show especially)

-theres no life or death sign (from what i saw) but the logo is on a podium with a sheet on it

-adams podium still says sexy-beetlejuice has a cool suit i love it!!

-he didnt really yell; the "where the contestants suck and the host is very angry" was all in the same tone

-"let me check my stocks"

*the sheet on the aforementioned podium is lifted, revealing otho/kevin in stocks*

-kevin offers to give beetlejuice his prius, claiming that "IT WAS A PLUG-IN" before hes wheeled offstage to the sound of wood splintering on impact

-"Mr. Juice."

-"HOLD ON JUST ONE DAMN MINUTE"

ill be honest, i dont know if it was because ive seen the show before (most likely) or if it was because adam was more bold throughout the rest of the show, but it didnt have the same impact. but this makes up for it:

-as adam is telling everyone everything, he gets close to beetlejuice to the point where they are inches apart and his hands are on beetlejuice's ass

-the kiss!! slay!!

-barbara is actually angry, and adam says "maitlands 2.0" to get her on the same page

-barbara cant kiss beetlejuice HAH

-"WAIT WAIT WAIT. this is all very

believable.

im a highly sexual being and i do love an orgy. but you all dont strike me as the orgying kind. except for her."

*points to delia*

"shes done some stuff."

*delia pauses, and then makes a big motion with her arms like "yeah you got me"*

-TEAR AWAY COSTUME!!

-his hair changes too!!

-GLITTER CONFETTI!!

-the lights still turn pink when

"i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright"

-OKAY BUT. BEETLEJUICE AND ADAM GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES ACROSS THE STAGE

-this part is very unchanged

-i love the living monologue. i love the birds and the stock song thay plays and the roller-coaster of emotions and the being hit over the head and the being stabbed

-juno is back!!

-"one minute youre on top of the world, and the next minute, you feel like no one will ever love you… this guy knows what im talking about!

i pick on you because i see myself in you. later tonight. say my name three times."

-"and you."

*dramatic noise the whole stage turns blue except for a spotlight on lydia*

-THE SANDY PUPPET!! EATS JUNO!! SANDY IS HERE!!

-"look lydia now we both have dead moms!"

*nobody onstage laughs, the audience losing their minds*

*pause*

*swinging the severed leg back and forth*

*uses the leg like a golf club*

"and a swing and a miss"

someone in the audience: "FORE!"

*flips them off* "three. fuck you."

-*in a scottish accent* "charles ya ripe old bastard never change"

"i already have changed. ive changed a lot."

*no accent* "well thennn... go fuck yourself"

-when beetlejuice and delia are doing… that thing during the goodbyes, beetlejuice pretends to ride a horse towards delia (told you the theme would return) and she pretends to ride a horse when he gets close

-"dora" "delia" "we didnt hang out much"

-"i think ill miss you most of all. scarecrow. boop" *put cowboy hat on lydia*

-i love beetlejuice's exit so much, gets carried dramatically by his clones only to be put down right after

-"GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. I’LL NEVER COME THIS WAY AGAIN! TELL MY STORYYYYYY"

*pause*

"this has been a strange day."

-lydia still floats during jump in the line/dead mom reprise

-"im home."

end of act two

#lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth #beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #long post #in summary #i like beetlejuice a lot #i might edit this from time to time if i remember anything new #definite's ted talks #the ramblings of a madman

[madisonrooney]

hi it's your secret santa! first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i hope you have a wonderful day! how are you celebrating, if you are at all? safely, i hope! either way i hope you manage to find a way to have a great day full of love!! consider my christmas gift a belated birthday gift as well lol. anyway i loved reading your last answer, it was so thoughtful and sweet. i realized after reading that i barely know anything about dove lol so follow up q: what about dove makes you love her so much?

sorry for the late response! the last couple days have been v busy and ive been super tired and dissociative on top of it so i made a point to save this bc i wanted to give it my full attention!

first of all thank you!! i was going to do a virtual meet and greet with one of my favs from jersey boys but he got confused about timezones so we rescheduled but were doing it next week! then i went to a virtual walt disney family museum panel, had pizza for dinner and watched some liv and maddie, my mom made a cookie cake that we ate while watching the grinch musical, and then some friends and i watched the jersey boys movie together over skype!

im so glad you enjoyed reading my last answer! and oof thats another loaded question (i love it tho)

- like i said when first talking about what drew me to her and liv and maddie, a big thing is just how much passion and love she puts into her characters. ofc she puts passion into every character she plays, but its the passion she puts into characters like liv, maddie, and mal that means the most to me. that goes back to the fact that ive dealt with a lot of negativity directed towards me for enjoying disney channel, and then you have dove out here saying “yah im a teenager/twenty-something who not only respects what theyre doing on disney channel, but puts my all into it” not to mention she even won an emmy for playing liv and maddie in season 4! i hope that passion and talent has started to change the conversation about disney channel, and tbh i think it has at least a bit.  ofc, none of this is to say other people her age acting on disney channel arent talented and passionate, but idk, something about her has always stood out to me. i find her to be more animated and expressive than most. it can be hard for me to read emotions in live action movies and shows, so thats been really important for me. not to mention she was not only playing the lead but TWO lead characters on a four season show with distinct personalities but also subtle similarities. AND the main character in the biggest DCOM franchise in years for 5 years running now. PLUS the fact that there was a period where those were both happening at the same time. she was only 16 when she started all this and hadnt even had any big roles prior to it!! she had a lot of responsibility so it was amazing to see her not only pull it off, but excel at it.

- i just love like....her aesthetic?? shes always seemed to be a very old soul to me, into old jazz music and poetry and stuff like that. its just very charming. and for her to have that aesthetic on top of being a disney channel actress is a fascinating juxtaposition.

- this is kind of sappy and it gets tiring to hear it said over and over again but that doesnt mean it isnt true: i love how transparent she is about her struggles with mental health issues, trauma, and such. she has been for a long time but even more so over the last year or two. no shade to anyone else, but a lot of actors dont really give you a look into their personal lives, they just share and promote their product. im not saying theres anything wrong with that, its good to know what youre comfortable sharing, ive just felt all the more close to her with her being as open as she is, especially as someone who has gone through trauma myself, albeit different from hers.

- kind of connected to that, i love how important spreading kindness, positivity, and love is to her. thats another thing thats been said a million times but still, its very important to me.

for example. she’ll randomly tweet things like “i love you” a lot. im one to always think of the thought process that goes on behind whatever someone posts, texts, etc., bc personally i put a lot of a thought into pretty much anything i say or do before i put it out there publicly, probably bc of my social anxiety. even tho its a simple statement and takes her a couple seconds to post, she still had to have the thought “i want to remind my fans that theyre loved” or something along those lines. and she has this thought FREQUENTLY. to just randomly get a notification every few days or weeks or so of her saying something like that is just very heartwarming to me.

the reason i connected with miley so much when she helped me through my initial trauma was bc it felt like even if no one loved me, she loves her fans, thus she loves me. thus the person i love and admire the most loves me. even if its only one person, it can be enough. it was for me at the time. i feel that same way with dove. when she came into my life, i didn’t feel as unloved, but her love was still helpful to me.

- of course i need to specifically talk about her kindness in person too. dont get me wrong (ive been saying that a lot havent i lol), i totally and completely loved her long before i met her, but naturally, i love her 10x more after the experiences ive had getting to know her in person.

i could go ONNNNNNN about the experiences ive had with her, and i have lol, and if you already heard me ramble about this in the server i apologize, but the most important thing ive taken away from every encounter ive had with her is this: she always goes the extra mile. she always goes out of her way to make people feel special. what i mean by that is she could say/do HALF as much as she has when meeting me and i would still leave over the moon feeling loved. you can tell she does this in excess bc she really truly means it and cares about people like me, she doesnt have any kind of ulterior motive and isnt just going through the motions doing whats asked of her, she simply cares about me and the rest of her fans. some examples - the first time we met, i was sobbing (lol) and she hugged me for a really long time, rocking me back and forth, brushing my hair with her thumb, calling me sweetheart and honey. she even started to tear up a bit herself. - a couple months later, i went to my first liv and maddie taping. i was preparing to reintroduce myself (i looked a little different bc id been cosplaying as maddie the first time i met her) and ofc when preparing myself, i fantasized pretty heavily as i usually do and pictured myself showing her the pic of us on my phone, her gasping, jumping out of her chair screaming, and hugging me, thinking that was probably way more than i was gonna get. that is EXACTLY what happened. then she went on to tell me how my costume made her whole weekend. things like this would continue to happen where i would set the bar impossibly high and not only would she meet it but she’d exceed it. - our usual interaction from there on would start with her face lighting up when she saw me, her calling me some kind of cute name like love or baby, and then hugging me without me even having to initiate it. - when i saw her in mamma mia, i didnt know when id be seeing her again afterwards after pretty consistently getting to see her for 2 years, so i wanted to make sure we got some kind of closure. at the stage door, i reminded her how much she meant to me and just expected like an “aww i love you too” or something back, but she said “you are an angel in my life” and i will never forget that. obvs, i havent told her ALL the details about what she and her characters mean to me but like...she can tell. she can tell if im in a homemade maddie costume sobbing into her arms that theres something there, and shes VERY appreciative of that. - i thankfully got to see her at a meet and greet a few months later and every time i thought i should get going cuz i didnt want to hold the line up, she would just open her arms for another hug. speaking of being appreciative, she even said “thank you for being such a supportive fan.” as i left, i turned around to say one last goodbye. i made sure she wasnt with the next fan yet and yelled out “bye!” and she yelled back “I LOVE YOU!!” and blew me a kiss. again, its the little things. - i saw her at a small panel in new york a few months after that. she walked in the room when the lights were down as they were playing a clip, she quietly waved hi to everyone, then saw me and loudly whispered HI BABY!!! and stopped on her way to the stage to give me a hug. (then she looked at me from the stage and asked which way i thought she should cross her legs for the interview lol) - sometimes when she sees im next in line, shell give me a knowing smile or whisper “hi baby!!” or something like that. she saw me in the crowd after clueless and seemed to make a point to come to me last bc she knew wed be talking for a while, which we did. she even told me she’d seen me in the audience, asking if i was in the front on the left, which i was.

even all that is still just scratching the surface. weve “known” each other for 5 years now and every time i think she’s done the most she can do, she outdoes herself again. not to mention when im at these events, i see her treat all the fans she meets with all of that kindness too. naturally all of this has made me love her all the more.

- finally, lets just be honest here..........................shes REALLY fucking hot.

#gcwca secret santa #Anonymous

[notmyrick]

Okay this is a theory not theory or a "hear me out" type of thing. This actually isnt a theory, just a cool what if. Something to be scrapped.

But if you're with me this far let's begin overanalyzing shit!!!!!!!

Argument: The entire show is evil Morty

*mic drops ready for the tomatoes to be thrown*

But guys let's take a step outside of Rick and morty for a second.

You want to talk about rick and morty without talking about rick and morty?

Yes! Second voice I'm using purely for a narrative aspect!

Remember some time ago that Rick and Morty was suppose to be or at least considered to be a procedural type show?

Procedural shows are shows like the Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, Tom and Jerry, Futurama, Phineas and Ferb, etc.

Typically a show that has a very obvious formula with characters that typically never change, don't age, and rarely grow. Typically you could tell a show is procedural of you can watch any random episode from any season and understand what's going on (given it is not the final episode of a completed series).

Objectively if you look at Rick and Morty, you can say it it still holds true to its procedural structure. I could start on any episode season 1-4p1 and understand the dynamics of the Smith family.

Okay now just keep in mind that procedural shows last longer than serialized shows.

You can give me shit, but who the fuck is still a fan of Degrassi. And I know that there are some hardcore fans of GoT or Twilight, but I havent seen anymore hype or recent buzz about either of them since it ended (or near ending I dont keep up with stuff). Yet i could go to a person and ask if they watched Friends and some third party will scream to us "PIVOT!" or "They were on a break".

But I'm getting a bit off topic. The thing is Rick and Morty are now going semi serialized, but (hopefully) still keeping it procedural.

The fact is you can start anywhere in the series given the few special episodes. Episodes that are a direct continuation like the ending of season 2 to the premiere of season 3. Those episodes MUST be played together. Ending season 1 to premiere of season 2 is kinda iffy bc they basically summarized/hinted what happened at the end of season 1 with a few sentences.

If you go to most procedural type shows, they tend to have a serialized component which to be honest can be summarized by certain episodes. The serialized component can be either, what I call a "time stamp" or a character change. For time stamp it's mostly used a certain time period the characters response (i.e. the relationship of Rachel and Ross). The other characters tend to reference their relationship in certain episodes.

Or the character change, can be also known as character development, can be the serialized component in which a drastic epiphany happens to the character that changes the relationships with the characters or changes to their environment.

With this as a foundation, let's talk evil morty.

We know that their are infinite versions of Mortys out there. One of them is evil Morty, but it has been shown, by not being shown, how or why this morty became evil. There are many theories out there, most of which I like, but they are just wild speculation. I am going to twist up my own version of it now lol.

What if we've been watching a possibility of a Morty becoming evil. With Rick and Morty being a Procedural type show, the episodes aired does not have to be "in order" with the exceptions of of the special episodes.

Rick, in Rick and Morty, rather not Fuck with time travel, but doesnt mean the audience won't.

Think of it like an archeological excavation. We keep uprooting or discovering more about ancient civilizations or what our past ancestors did, but we don't find them in order. One min. We are discovering something about King Tut, the next we discover something about the the first homosapien.

With this, besides the special episodes, nothing was in order.

This theory is making a huge assumption that we've been watching the same Rick and Morty pair throughout the seasons. Meaning we've been watching Rick C137 and this Morty. This could explain why we dont see alternate versions of our favorite side characters. Why we dont see alternate versions of BirdPerson, Squanchy, Crombobulus Michael, hell another version of Tammy. If we've been watching (at least) the same Rick this entire time, then besides the special episodes, we've been jumping to moments of Rick's life. Like with the recent episode of Never Ricking Morty, Morty was able to buy the toy train because this took place before Rick destroyed the Citadel, but after the introduction of the evil Morty.

With what I've stated previously, hear me out, we've been watching the evolution of evil morty, or at least another version of him. ALTHOUGH only granted that evil Morty is one, if not the biggest climax to Rick and Morty. Remember how procedural shows may have some serialization in their shows. This also means they are not confined to one story arc. Which means evil morty is one of many sotry arcs to be discovered. This "theory" only works if Evil morty is one of the bigger climaxes to the show.

Recall previous procedural shows:

Futurama has 140 episodes

Phineas and Ferb have 189 episodes

I primarily used these tv shows because I am biased and watched them.

I would argue both had procedural and serialized components

With Futurama they had a few story arcs in their show, the one I remember and personally favor is the Leela-Fry relationship.

Similar to Phineas and Ferb, they also had had a few story arcs, with again being bias my favorite being the Phineas and Isabella relationship.

Note: can you see I like relationship arcs

If Evil morty is the one of the biggest story arcs of the franchise they would need to make sure that the ending for evil morty was satisfyingly tied up in a bow similar to the phineas and ferb final episode. If Evil Morty was the Final climax/arc of the franchise, I would say the ending needs to loop back around to make it "open ended" to keep it procedural similar to Futurama for replayability.

Rick and morty was renewed 70 more episodes somewhere after the end of season 3 making the current total of Rick and Morty episodes to barely pass over the 100 episode threshold. Which is the benchmark for networks for a shows profitability or syndication(profit and syndication are completely different dont get that confused).

So with my, hear me out theory, Rick and Morty has a lot of time to explore the evil morty story arc and/ or make better arcs for the future. Expecting it to be explored now in SeASoN 4 feels a bit too soon. If they keep a 10 episode per season schedule we can expect 6 more seasons of Rick and Morty to explore it. If they decide a 12 episodes per season then at least 5 more seasons.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #theory not theory #hear me out #serializarion #procedural #evil morty theory #evil morty #refrences to other shows #over analyzing #just for fun #just for kicks #2 am #what if #lol

[lunawings]

King of Prism SSS episode 1 commentary!

....I ended up talking about the Crunchyroll subs way more than I meant to. But you see this is the first time ever I have read a King of Prism translation that was not mine. So that was kind of a big deal for me. 

Please note when I mention things that have happened “so far” at this point episodes up to 9 have aired in Japanese theaters. So I have seen everything but the Shin/Louis episodes and ending (Part 4). 

It blows my mind how much Shin actually EXPLAINS in this episode. I have been waiting for so long to actually have someone (outside of supplementary material) to actually explain the difference between academy style and... wait....

....THE FUCK..... (we’re not off to a good start with these subs maybe haha...)

Seriously what the hell. 

Shin’s house is just so plain! And NORMAL! His parents just look so.... NORMAL.................. (t... to...o.... nor... mal.....)

AHHHH I have been waiting to pause on Leo’s house for weeks! There is so much to see. In Leo’s episode they say his dad is a character designer, which is the reason why Leo is always surrounded in the pair tomos. (Except wait pair tomos are supposed to be real in this universe so wait huh--)

I HAVE ALSO BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. I can’t get over how perfect this picture is and how perfectly it shows everyone’s relationship. I especially like the gay left corner where we have Bell claimed by Otoha, and Hiro standing NEXT to Bell, but his hand is on Kouji’s shoulder.... ahhh these kids....

There is a lot of foreshadowing for future episodes when Shin introduces everyone, but I won’t be pointing out what ahah....

As soon as Over the Rainbow goes into their jump you can pick out any first timers in the theater audience ahaha.

Good lord this scene killed me and everyone else in the midnight showing, and for several showings afterwards. Despite not being cheering, just seeing that turtle in the hot pot and we were DYING. And then it got WORSE. 

I really wonder how much farther they can push the envelope with Kouji. At this point it’s too late to go back. No life rafts to abandon the Kouji ship. 

My ad-lib for this scene in theaters is “DIAGONAL” btw

But a lot of the time most of us are laughing too hard to say anything. 

The translator thought “Boys’ Prism Show” was a specific event or something? Why is “Boys’” capital?

Oh come on this is the best translation they could come up for this. Wait.... wait how did I translate this again when it was on Prism Rush? I think I went with something like “Do you want to enJOY yourself with me in Takadanobaba” or something like that because this pun DOESNT WORK IN ENGLISH nnnrgh 

FACE. My Shin baby being corrupted by Joji NOOOO SAVE HIM

Okay yeah this translation is a bit rough around the edges. Like what. But to be honest I am not 100% sure what Minato meant here either.... I’m not sure if I agree with the translator that the delayed thing was a part of the name of the dish? Ahh this is going to drive me crazy. 

In the theater everyone yells about wanting to see the Hiro version of this commercial. 

And Tsurugi really can’t make up his mind about his color. 

MY FAVORITE SHIN LINE OF ALL TIME no lie 

HES JUST SO EXCITED AND PURE

A RECEPTION DESK

LOOOOOK GUYS

I hold out a red light and point enthusiastically in the theater. 

I have so much conflict over this scene. Leoooooo. Luckily this is the first/only anime appearance of that jealous streak he’s developed so far.

I’m really glad they followed through and actually made these guys Edel Rose students. 

I just really like Hijiri’s face here.

LONG AWAITED ANIME DEBUT OF PUDDING A LA MODE 

Well technically SSS is the long awaited anime debut of much King of Prism lore.... but.... PuuDDing A la MoooDDEE

Shin she’s not a reception desk don’t point. 

TWINS AND NIKKANEN ANIME DEBUT

Did you see them!? Because I sure didn’t the first couple times I saw this episode. I couldn’t even get a proper screenshot with Ukyo’s face in it. Sorry Ucchan ahhhhh. 

This is literally their first and only anime appearance so far. 

But I’m so glad they sneaked them in. They’re real!

And like I mentioned in the comments of one of my posts before, they are probably still living in the new Edel Rose building. 

So like..... Jin looking at Louis and seeing him change into Hijiri or other characters is actually an ongoing trope in SSS. It happens several more times. And I have been debating whether it’s something Louis is doing on purpose, or if Jin is just that far gone. It could so easily be either, or a combination of the two. 

I have been waiting for WEEEEEEKS just to pause on this stupid piece of paper and read it to find out what is going on in this scene and why Edel Rose is in debt again. But now I’m kinda more confused, because they introduce another reason for Edel Rose doing the Prism One later. But maybe that’s just on TOP of this, I don’t know........................

In this scene when Hijiri says they have to talk, everyone in the theater is like “HERE?!” 

When I was at the theater greeting with Junta-san, Igarashi-san, etc., the boys talked for like 10 straight minutes about Minato cooking in this scene and Kouji just going ahead and tasting it. They were so stocked on this scene it was ridiculous. I could barely tell what they were saying hahah...

This line right here might be my favorite voiced line in the entire show. Even though it’s just “thank you for gathering here today”... the way he says it, especially with what you know he’s going to do next. It’s like insincerity wrapped in sincerity wrapped in sarcasm wrapped in sincerity again. I swear it leaves a slimy residue in the air. 

So if you haven’t figured it out the Prism One is basically the framing device for SSS. The character episodes skip around and take place at different times (Some seem to take place months in the past even. I think Leo’s episode for example takes place before he meets Nikkanen as there is something in it that I think dates it I won’t say what. Since they all move back into the old school it’s hard to tell), but it all ties back to the Prism One tournament which slowly progresses over the series. 

I like how they put one of the series biggest spoilers just in the opening but at the same time I am also kinda glad they did. People need to know. Hopefully seeing this kind of stuff encourages people who haven’t yet to watch Rainbow Live before the end of this series.

And this...

And this........

Episode 1 is the only episode that has this random, out of place foreshadowing. I think they specifically put it in episode 1 to warn you that things are all fun and games now, but serious shit is gonna go down in the Part 4 Shin/Louis episodes................ huhhhhrrrh......... 

And to add up to this, in the upcoming episodes one of the themes they keep coming back to is how much Shin entering Edel Rose changed things for everyone and how much he means to them......

I’m so scared Part 4 is gonna be PAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

The screen stays on him for like two seconds longer than the other boys. 

Nnnnghghgn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

#king of prism sss #king of prism shiny seven stars #king of prism #kinpri #shiny seven stars

[angrylizardjacket]

And All The Queen’s Men {Roger Taylor}

A/N: 5486 words. Okay wow. Please bare with me, this is a long one and also a bit of a different one. Written in the style of a Rolling Stone article. Finished it at 7am. Prompt & support from the lovely @ginghampearlsnsweettea

[And All The Queen’s Men ‘verse masterpost]

Warning: Minor character death, in both senses, it’s a baby, it’s not graphic it’s just mentioned, but just thought I should let you know.

And All The Queen’s Men: how the lines blurred between Queen and and the Queen of Jazz Rock.

An article almost two years in the making, after their last tour, which I was invited along to in order to write the initial article, the rock sensation Queen split, a decision, I am lead to be believe, was instigated by front man Freddie Mercury, and though Giselle Jones had continued to make music, even before her very public, on-stage breakdown, her lawyers had me keep the article to myself. Now, with the band’s reunion, and Live Aid having been a massive success with both powerhouse musical names coming back into the public eye, I’ve invited them back to my office for one last interview, but mostly to beg them to let me publish this article.

Which, obviously, they allowed.

It’s 1985, and with them all sitting in front of me, I feel a sense of deja vu. There are some changes, of course, Roger Taylor’s hair is shorter, Giselle Jones is wearing jeans and a sweater rather than her well-known cocktail dress, but John Deacon’s still smiling at me, Brian’s looking about the room, perhaps seeing if anything’s changed, and Freddie Mercury’s draped casually on the left of the only non-Queen member of the bunch. 

But before I get into the past two years, maybe I should take you back a bit, to when Giselle and Queen began collaborating.

Giselle Jones began in the late sixties as the front-woman of a swing band in a thirties theme pub known as Modern Glamour. Tall, elegant, with a voice like honey, she had a small following of regulars that frequented the pub, but had kept her passion from music from her family, claiming she was merely a waitress at the establishment, since her father was an executive at EMI, and she didn’t want to seem like the subject of nepotism.

However, one fateful day, her father brings music industry giant to the pub for lunch, hoping to catch Giselle at work and introduce her, but as you know, they both got a lot more than they bargained for. Foster sees potential in her, and offers her a contract if she’s willing to modernise her act, and as we all know, she does.

When Giselle releases her first album in 1970, Velvet Roses, which would be the first and only “Jazz” record to hit the Top 40 charts for that year, Queen are still playing pub gigs around London, though they’re looking at recording their first album, which would eventually get EMI’s attention, but that’s still not for a while. At this point, they’re the biggest fish in a very small uni-pub pond, and they need the means to grow. So out goes the band’s van, for one night in a recording studio.

“Like, in retrospect, of course it was the right decision.” Taylor leans against the back of the sofa he’s sitting on in my office in 1982, voice contemplative and fingers locked together as he looks into the past. “But I was twenty-two at the time, selling my van was a big deal.”

“A big enough deal that you wrote a song about it.” Giselle adds, sitting beside him in the middle of the sofa. Deacon hides a smile though May doesn’t hide his snort of laughter. 

The smirked remark is at odds with her look. While the boys are all in various states of brightly patterned shirts and jeans, looking casual and comfortable; Giselle wears white, sequinned, off-the-shoulder gown that hugs her figure and hits the floor, a slit in the thigh where her leg crosses, dark skin a stunning contrast to both the white fabric of her dress, and the leather of my sofa. Hands folded in over her knee, there’s not a singular hair out of place where she’s got it slicked back; I can’t look at her directly, she’s so focused and well put-together that it’s like staring at the sun.

The contrast has always been apparent in their various works, though Mercury has, in the past, cited her as an early inspiration for his desire to add a certain classical gravitas to rock and roll, and though she hasn’t publicly stated anything, the amount of covers Giselle has performed lived could fill an album. And now, here they are, about leave for a double-billed tour of the US, which I have been asked to join.

But their connection goes back much further than this, all the way back to 1975, to the release of the smash-hit single Bohemian Rhapsody That very same year, Giselle releases her fifth single, Dinner and a Show, a lyrically dissonant, heart pumping anthem that’s a metaphor for the way any type of review fuelled her, since it meant people were talking about her work. 

You serve yourself on a platter; your putrid delights, / yet how can I refrain? / You don’t come to flatter, you don’t want to go / so come on baby, / don’t you know? / You’re treating me to dinner and a show.

Giselle’s usually silky performance is turned into a masterclass of vocal gymnastics as she slides easily from the rough intensity of rock and roll, to the smooth purr of jazz as she sings about eating critics for breakfast.

They say a free mind makes the meat so tender / now you’re on the menu and I’m a big spender

The song itself comes as a response to her former manager about how her “aggressive” move to music that more stylistically rock and roll was alienating older audiences, though Foster, still her producer at the time, was pushing for her to skew to a younger audience, and it seemed as though he had gotten his way.

The real change, however, was the B-Side of the record. After speaking to Jim “Miami” Beach, Queen’s lawyer, regarding potentially covering one of the band’s songs, Giselle reveals that she was eventually told to just ask them directly.

“I gave Miami a letter that basically explained that I’d like to cover one of their songs for my new album,” Giselle gives me a thin smile, and I feel like I’ve done something wrong, even though I’m assured by Brian that her public persona “is just like that sometimes”. 

“- and I thought it was a joke! I said ‘yeah, sure, what’s the worst that could happen’.” Mercury laughs, leaning forward elbows on his knees and eyes shinning with amusement. “I did not believe for one second that Giselle, Giselle-” repeating her name for emphasis, his hand comes to quickly rest on hers where she still has them perfectly still on her knee, a moment of solidarity, “wanted anything to do with us. Hand Held Heart had been at the top of the US charts for almost three whole weeks the year before.” Letting out a long, wistful sigh, Mercury sits back, still grinning, though he’s got this far away look on his face now. 

“So we’d been stuck on a farm, recording A Night At The Opera for weeks with no outside communications, ” May fills in where Mercury’s faded into his own memories, and Taylor slings arm around Giselle where she’s actually relaxed somewhat, hands now in her lap. Curiously, she doesn’t shrug him off. “And when we get back, it turns out that she’s put a jazz cover of Jesus, yeah, that song from our first album, on the B-Side of her newest single.”

“Freddie practically had a heart attack.” Deacon adds, patting Mercury’s shoulder fondly.

In her own way, she was continuing the trend that Dinner and a Show had started, and that seven-inch single would bestow upon Giselle the title of Queen of Jazz Rock. It hadn’t been the first time she had acknowledged the band publicly, by the time she had released the single, her public persona had gained enough traction that, a few months prior to her recording of the cover, a reporter had asked if Killer Queen, Queen’s biggest hit at the time, had been written about her. The question had been caught on camera by the reporter after one of her tour stops in the Midwest of America; the footage is a favourite of fans, including myself, of the way she doesn’t even turn, simply calls over her shoulder, ‘they should be so lucky’, and she gets into her waiting car.

“I never took offence,” Mercury tells me, both in 1982, and 1985, as I bring it up both times to consolidate the origins of their musical partnership.

“You wouldn’t, you were all starry-eyed for her back then.” Taylor leans back to address Mercury behind Giselle’s head, but only when he says it the first time, in 1982. 

“It was a bit of a dig at us,” Deacon agrees with the drummer, nodding before shrugging. “A lot of good came out of it, though.” The others seem to agree, but Giselle herself has stayed quiet. For the first time since the interview started, she looks away from me, gaze dipping as she seems inclined to speak, though she takes her time to weigh up her words before she says them, wondering exactly what will and will not be printed.

“It was a bit of s**t thing to say. I was twenty-four and I panicked, I had to keep up my... this persona.” She gestures now to herself, breaking the entire physicality as she lets herself lean back, and I feel like I can breathe, seeing her act so human. Adjusting, she lets herself rest of the slightest of diagonals, shoulder to shoulder with Taylor’s arm still around her, now with Mercury petting her knee in solidarity.

Once in the tour bus, the difference between Giselle Jones, the woman, and Giselle, the singer and personality, becomes almost jarring to see. As soon as we get into the bus, she strips off the gown she was wearing, I turn away, though the others don’t seem to be bothered by it, May takes the dress to a waiting assistant by the door, and when I turn back, she’s in a pair of sweat pants and Taylor is tossing her shirt several sizes too big for her. For the first time since I’ve learned about her, Giselle looks comfortable, looks approachable and, for lack of a better word, non-robotic, taking a hairbrush from a drawer and flopping onto one of the beds as she brushes out the gel, apparently not bothering with a shower just yet.

“I showered this morning.” She seems to have caught my confused look, and explains herself. With her guard lowered in the familiar situation, her natural voice shines through, a rich, yet feminine alto, reminiscent of her singing voice. It adds to the list of things that add character to her beyond what her “persona” could ever convey. Or perhaps that’s the point.

The bus itself is almost too small for the five performers, and I’m certain it won’t fit me, but Giselle and I watch as they cram a blow up bed onto the kitchen table. It looks stable, and for the opportunity to experience living in such close quarters with such big names, I’d take anything.

“Sorry, darling, Paul takes the only spare bed.” Mercury informs me as I shimmy up onto the bed to test if it would hold. I had thought that the vehicle was at capacity, though it does make sense that the band’s day-to-day manager, Paul Prenter, would be travelling with them. That being said, I hadn’t realised there was even a spare bed, there was only five, perhaps none of them had wanted to be subjected to the blow up bed and decided to share instead.

When we finally get on the road, I get to finally see their true dynamics emerge. We all know the Queen dynamics by now, brotherly yet volatile, at times. I had worried for Giselle at times, the concept of living with four men (five if you count Prenter, who Giselle does not seem to, when I ask her about it, though I don’t think that’s a subject I should pry about, judging by the look on Taylor’s face where I can see him lounging at the back of the bus). However, I should have not have been worried; first of all, despite the youthfulness of their appearances, performances, and spirit, these are all men in their 30s, Giselle herself being 31 at the time of writing (1982), and they all have experience living with women, and with each other.

“First tour was a nightmare.” Deacon’s joined me on the blowup bed, is sipping tea as we travel along. “We learned real quick how disgusting close quarters can be.” He’s a quiet soul, but observant, and honestly I really enjoy his company. Anyone who can weather over a decade of rock and roll and come out as calm as him deserves some sort of recognition. “It’s much better now. Mostly.” He smiles like it’s an inside joke, but won’t elaborate. Giselle and Taylor refuse to clarify what he means by that, May just laughs when I ask him, directing me back to ask Taylor and Giselle, and Mercury calls them all gossips.

It’s something about the tour lifestyle that must bring out the childishness in them all, which comes out strongly during dinner. They shove my blowup bed into the sleeping quarters when dinner is served, and the five of us manage to cram into the tiny booth the bus allows. May, Deacon and Giselle are in charge of cooking dinner, sausages, potatoes, and peas, since apparently Prenter and Mercury have taken lunch duties, and Roger has put himself in charge of getting coffee and tea for everyone in the morning.

“We should really eat breakfast.” Giselle muses through half a mouthful of food.

“I do!” Deacon, next to me, comes back with, pouring some more peas onto his plate.

“You just eat cereal from the box, Deaky, that’s not breakfast.” Taylor counters him, which just causes the rest of the table to devolve into an argument about what counts as breakfast. Prenter, who has joined us for the meal, looks like he’d rather be napping or still driving, and makes quiet work of his meal.

Roger Taylor goes to sleep after me, and wakes up before I do, and I’m not sure how he does it. Or where he sleeps, the other beds seem taken. He wakes me up on the first morning by shoving my bed, which slides a few centimeters, but isn’t about to fall off it’s perch.

“You want coffee?” I’m barely functioning at this point, and his question baffles me. “Tea? Coffee? Deaky’s cereal? We got some left over sausages.” He lists off, probably due to my clear confusion, he seems exasperated, even though he’s definitely wearing pyjamas too. He’s still scowling a little when I tell him how I like my coffee, but he doesn’t complain, and it tastes exactly like I like it when he hands it over. The bus is stationary, so he can put the cups by the bedsides of those they are for, but interestingly enough he joins me on the table/bed. 

I know the origin story of Queen, I think everyone does at this point, so I ask him instead about the subject of my article; how Queen got involved with Giselle.

“You wanna know how I met Giselle?” It’s not exactly what I asked, but he’s already thinking about it, looking past me to the sleeping quarters with a frown. He plays absent-mindedly with the chain around his neck, and with the ring attached to it. “I thought everyone knew about that, the whole thing where we hated each other from the start?” When I ask if it was true, he actually laughs, though it’s more a snort of derision, if I’m being honest. “Of course not. Mostly.” They all seem to like that word, I hadn’t taken them all to be vague.

“I told him to take a long walk off a short pier.” Giselle will clarify for me later that day, joining me as I take a smoke break at one of our bathroom stops, not that there isn’t a toilet on the bus, they just try to avoid using it as much as possible. She doesn’t smoke, claims she never has, but enjoys the company, while the boys are buying snacks at the gas station. I ask when it was, she gives me another thin smile, but not like it had been in the office. Here it’s the punctuation to an earlier joke rather than a judgement.

She tells me about how she actually met them all, recording her second album, after her 1972 performance on Top of the Pops, you know the one. It had cemented Giselle’s now iconic aesthetic of an off the shoulder, floor length sequinned gown, silk gloves, and bold red lipstick, dark hair falling victory curls, the whole look reminiscent of an old Hollywood star, though there was red glitter trailing from her lips, and on her gloves in a theatrical fabrication of blood. It had been a look inspired by her musical roots, and the theatricality of the then-popular glam rock, a movement which would inspire many of Mercury’s tour looks also.

She was twenty-one at the time, still “developing her persona”, when she found that the in-house recording equipment at EMI was being used by the then-still quite unknown Queen. Or rather, according to Giselle, just Taylor.

“He was packing up the last of his equipment, and he makes a pass at me, thinks I’m an intern.” We can see the boys leaving the gas station, Taylor himself heading the pack. “So yeah, told him to take a long walk off a short pier.” She laughs, seems to hold the memory quite dear. “That b******d has the gall to look me in the eyes and ask who I am.”

“Did he know who you were?” When I look at her, she’s still smiling, tipping her head to the side as the boys draw close. She seems to be paying attention to me, but not a lot.

“Yeah, told me later he was just pissed I didn’t throw myself at him. That’s why I said that, ‘they should be so lucky’ thing, actually, that motherf****r right there.” The way she says it, raising her finger to point at him, makes me think it’s a story she’s told before, one that he knows about.

“You talking about me?” Taylor yells, and Giselle is quick to answer that she is. “Don’t spill all my secrets.” It sounds like an order, but his smile says it’s not, it’s weirdly playful, a dynamic I didn’t expect from them, especially considering their history. I raise the point. She laughs at me.

“You’re kidding, right?” 

Prenter calls for everyone on the bus, and Giselle doesn’t think to clarify once we’re back on board. 

The tour, I should have mentioned earlier, is a double feature; Queen is promoting their album Hot Space, while Giselle is promoting her own, The Bend Before the Break. When I ask her about the album itself, she talks happily about a few of the songs, however when I bring up my personal favourites, Ache and Heaven Sent, she turns very quiet.

I will end up watching most of her performances, and to this day, I have never seen something as raw and spiritual as Giselle performing Ache.

The lights dim as the joyful Meant to Be finishes. On the studio recording, a double bass starts the song, long, grieving and angry notes that pick up in tempo as it’s joined by drums and a piano, and finally, her voice, low, bitter and seductive in equal measure. Here, there’s silence, as she gently croons the open lines, face illuminated by only a single gold light, as swirling red and purple lights move about the stage. 

While saying you were sorry, / you burned me from the outside, in. / Now I’m calloused all over, / And too tired to feel the sting. / But I feel the ache, / feel the ache / feel the ache. / I’ll still let you back in.

She plays the piano herself for this song, a skill, I later learn Mercury had taught her many years ago. It’s a song that tugs at your gut, gets you thinking about how you keep people in your life who aren’t the best for you. She ends the last chorus with a long, mournful wail that you feel in your bones. 

I’ve never heard a crowd so quiet as when she finishes Ache, the penultimate song of her set list, unless you count encores.

The final song of the night is always Heaven Sent, a bright, headbanging anthem with the musical gravitas of a full jazz band. It was her single from the album, it topped most charts. You know the one. The radio won’t stop playing it.

Divinity with a neon glow / it hung above his head, / promoting his next show. / Didn’t even try to find my light, / just the darkness he’d bestow. / Heaven sent me the Morningstar.

“I was cheated on.” Was all she will say about the songs.

The others steer clear of those songs as well, when talking about the album, as well as the titular song, The Bend Before the Break, though Giselle claims she has moved on from the feelings associated in all three songs.

“I wrote them first on the album, I’ve moved on.”

Each of the boys seems very protective of Giselle at times, though Taylor is by far the worst. If I’m being honest, was weird to me, they’d been at each other’s throats publicly and professionally for almost a full decade after Giselle’s initial comment, however the vitriol had died down in the past few years, so I enquire about that about halfway through the six week tour. 

“We set them up.” May is the first to answer, sipping tea with myself, Deacon and Mercury. Since both Giselle and Taylor adjourned to the sleeping quarters. I ask him what he means.

“They tell it better.” Mercury interjects, but May argues that they’re asleep anyways so it’s not like it matters. Deacon agrees with Mercury, but quiet enough that May ignores him.

“So by ‘79, we’ve collaborated together, us and ‘Zelle, I mean,” the nickname is mostly used by May and Taylor, though Deacon uses it on occasion, “a couple of times, and we love her, right boys? We love her-” looking around, both Mercury and Deacon are nodding along, responding to a story they’d both heard before, though it was interesting for my first time hearing it, “but Rog is about ready to stab her with his drumsticks, but that’s just how he is.”

“Threatened to stab me once.” Deacon adds the unnerving information with complete serenity, focused on his cup.

“Me a couple of times.” Mercury shakes his head, as if it were some schoolboy prank rather than a stabbing threat.

“Like I said, just how he is. So we decide to send them to a place where they can bond over complaining about everything else, apart from each other.” I asked how it worked out for them and I watch as their faces fall. This terrible blind date idea must have gone horribly. “They hate the restaurant, which is good, but he goes to leave and bumps the table, spilling beer all over her dress, which is bad,” well, obviously. He pays me no mind, “and she elbows him in the face when she’s putting her jacket on - still don’t know how that one happened - but he still says he’ll take her home because it’s late, except-”

“To preface,” Deacon jumps in here, adding a little more milk to his tea, “she hates I’m In Love With My Car.” The song? Deacon nods. “Rog wrote it.” I can connect the dots, but I’m still confused as to how that lead to them being friends.

“Friends.” Mercury actually laughs into his cup.

“He takes her home anyways, she tells him the song’s s**t bu the sentiment wasn’t far off.” May finishes, shrugging.

“It was a real nice car.” Deacon shrugged, before looking straight at me. “And she still hates the song to this day.” There’s an air of finality to his words that is entirely unwarranted. That isn’t the point of the story; how are they friends now? Did they hook up in his car? Is that what they’re implying, I feel like such a gossip asking these questions.

“Did they ho- ? Yeah, of course.” May laughs, and though it clears some things up, I’m still rather confused. It’s probably reading on my face, because it looks like something else is dawning on him. “You know they’re married, right?”

No. No I did not know. Now I feel like an idiot.

I wonder if The Bend Before the Break is about Taylor? I can sense I’ve touched a nerve when I ask, and Mercury abruptly changes the subject, though the air still doesn’t feel right. When I head back through the sleeping area to get a new pen from my luggage, I catch a glimpse of Giselle napping in her bunk, Taylor too, asleep with his arm around her. She’s even wearing a wedding ring. I’m kicking myself for not noticing sooner. The chain with the ring around Taylor’s neck makes sense now. A lot of things make sense now.

For the next four days I feel like I’m being shunned, I’m the last to be told about dinner and have to eat the leftovers, Giselle barely says two words to me, Taylor just keeps glowering, and someone let the air out of my bed on the second night. It’s childish, but it’s in line with what I expect from them, regarding this sort of issue, I’m just glad Taylor hasn’t poured my coffee on me in my sleep, or spat in it. He just didn’t make it, which I suppose is probably the safest option for me.

The only apology I can think of is to offer to buy them all drinks, but it works well enough, and the next morning I wake to a fresh cup of coffee, and a very hungover Taylor. At least he’s dedicated to his job.

The rest of the tour passes without further incident. I still stand by Ache as one of my favourite musical performances of the decade, though I don’t mention it to Giselle, and now that I know the dynamic between her and Taylor, I can’t stop seeing it. Honestly, readers, they’re all over each other, which is expected from a man of Taylor’s reputation, but it’s still a little jarring to see the two of them so cozy. I must have been blind not to see it before.

When we part ways, Giselle is a little stiff with me.

“You brought up some feelings that I just... hadn’t actually dealt with at the time, which f******d me up.” She tells me in retrospect, sitting in my office with the rest of the boys in 1985. Live Aid was a few weeks ago, and since they all returned to the spotlight, I asked if they wanted to come and reflect on the past few years. The one thing that hasn’t changed is the fact that Giselle still swears like a sailor.

“A lot’s happened in the past few years.” Taylor’s still very protective of her, and after everything that’s conspired, at least from what I know, it’s warranted. We talk about the band splitting, how it had hurt the band as a whole, and even Giselle, who was at the time seeing a counsellor with Taylor. I’m hesitant to broach the topic of their relationship, though they seem like a solid until now, sitting before me, holding hands and leaning against one another.

I ask if Giselle’s breakdown was due to the band splitting, though I’m hesitant if I’ll get a response. Her smile is sad, which is mirrored by the rest of the band. I can guess her response before she says it.

“No.”

You all know the moment I’m talking about, the last concert for her last album, as of this publication, Finally, Sunlight where she had receive pleas from the audience for an encore. When she came back out, part of her makeup had been smudged around her eyes, and you can hear her sniffle over the microphone. (”I’m so sorry, I lost someone close to me, I thought I could keep it together for one night.” Dabbing at her eyes, she sits at the piano and laughs, but there’s no heart in it. “But I’ve got five more minutes left in me, let’s go, Atlanta.”) The song she plays is Somebody to Love, a slow, soulful cover, and the audience is almost unanimous in their raised lighters and slow swaying. As she goes on, she just starts crying harder, missing notes, hands shaking; the extended ‘Looooord’ before the chanting becomes a desperate wail, a plea to the heavens, and she collapses onto the piano, sobbing audibly as the instruments all come to uncertain halt and lighters go down in confusion.

From the crowd, a single voice begins to chant ‘Find me somebody to love. / Find me somebody to love.’ and a single voice turns to a theatre, full to the brim, as they sing when she can’t, still crying against the piano. Lighters go up, and together the audience and the band finishes the song where words have failed her. It was televised locally on the night, and still brings me to tears when I watch it now.

“We lost our daughter.” 

For those of you reading this who are shocked, I am too. Sitting there like a fool, not saying anything. 

“I was on tour, and Rog was at home with her,” even now, Giselle is getting a little teary-eyed, not that I blame her. Both Taylor and Mercury have an arm around her, and May has a hand on her shoulder, Deacon sitting on the back of the sofa right behind her. A unit. A family. “I wanted to go home, she was getting really sick, and I know he was doing everything he could, but I just- I wanted to be there... but my label threatened to sue me for... millions.” It sounds like it’s hard to say, and she’s wiping a tear from her eyes. I offer her the tissues on my desk. “But I should have gone home. I should have been there by her side, I should have done more.” Taylor whispers something to her and she leans against him, taking comfort in him.

“I had to call her, tell her that... that she’d passed. The day of the show. She’d been so upset for week, ‘Zelle that is, and everything just-” Taylor manages to get a great handle on his emotions, despite his misty eyes and shaking hands. “We’re alright now though, see? Nothing can tear us apart.” Though his voice does drop, so I think he’s saying it more for Giselle’s benefit. I give them all time to collect themselves, stop to get hot drinks for everyone, and everyone finally seems happy enough to answer when I ask what’s next for them.

“Music, of course.” Mercury says, now holding what was Giselle’s free hand. The rest of the gathered musicians agree. I ask if we’ll be hearing any sort of collaboration between Queen and the Queen of Jazz Rock. Taylor snickers, pulling Giselle close.

“Yeah, but not in the way you mean.” He ignores the rest of the men’s shouts of disgust, as well as his wife’s own gagging noise, which I can see on her face she regrets as she covers her mouth with caution, before giving the okay. 

“No, we’re okay, we’re good.” She assures everyone, before looking at me. “What he meant to say is that I’m pregnant.” She clarifies. Taylor is still grinning. 

“Don’t be gross, Rog.” May calls from the other side of the sofa, and Taylor has the gall to look accosted.

“What’s next for me, after everything that’s happened, is family.” Giselle says over the sounds of her husband’s indignant huffs, though his expression turns soft at her words, and they ignore the ‘boo’s of everyone else as they kiss.

“Could you be less gross around company?” Deacon asks, still mild-mannered as ever. This seems to be the cue for the interview to end, as Taylor of Giselle-

“It’s Giselle Taylor, by the way, I’m sorry I hadn’t corrected you earlier.” She corrects me now, as [Roger] Taylor leads her out of the door. The rest of the band seem mildly exasperated at their antics, but still ready to answer my questions. After everything that’s happened, I’m a little overwhelmed, I’m not sure where to go from here.

Perhaps my next article will be on Live Aid.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x oc #queen #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #queen imagine #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #the angry lizard writes #bohemian rhapsody imagine

[sarinataylor]

Joger ask: how would they cope with Roger having a crisis about the fact that John has written hit singles including their biggest ever hit and he has yet to pop his a-aide cherry? Is he rubbish? Is he really just a pretty face? He knows he brings lots of musical input & the sonic volcano & ‘the girl for everything’ for the band but really, who is he kidding? And John can’t deny that he aced his degree or does the finances or wrote hits... Thankfully Radio Gaga comes along and all ends well...

hmmmm ok. this got? long. very ramble-y. apologies

so like. roger is so fucking proud of john y’know???? and it’s not john’s songs being more successful than his which is cutting deep (because, well, commercial success is somewhat ehh to roger now that they’ve already made it big. the music he’s writing and creating, off on the side, is more about the music than anything else), it’s that he didn’t see it coming

100% did not see aobtd being a hit. hated recording it with his drums taped up, and thought the whole thing was a waste of time which.... it obviously wasn’t because john’s latest royalty cheque was big enough to have even freddie blinking in surprise

and. well. roger’s kind of always been the one with his finger on the pulse, so to speak. roger was riding the early waves of punk before the sex pistols had so much as looked at a safety pin and thought, “hmm, i wonder”. and his ability to keep up with, stay just one step ahead, of the trends has been invaluable in the past and now.... he might be slipping behind?

because even though he fucking hated half of the lines in ymbf he... he knew it was going to be a hit in the US. that sort of soft poppy feel, with a funky little bassline? the american’s eat that shit up in spades. of course it was going to be popular.

but, yeah, he didn’t see aobtd being a hit and now he’s starting to wonder if maybe the reason he isn’t writing hits isn’t because he hasn’t been trying to appeal to the broader audience, hasn’t been trying to write songs that will get massive air time or be played in clubs, but because he’s got no fucking clue about what people want anymore

‘girl for everything.......... except knowing what people want’ doesn’t, uh, sound as good

and it’s not? it’s not a Big Deal, not really. he just gets a little quieter about voicing his opinions on tracks because, well, maybe he doesn’t actually know what the fuck he’s talking about?

and so, hot space

brian’s losing his gd mind arguing with everyone and everything because he feels backed into a corner, freddie isn’t playing the peacekeeping role he usually does, john is being Just a Little Bit of an egotistic shit, and roger is........... not getting involved. which works kind of awfully because both brian and john take his silence as tacit approval of their position, which boils over into a lot of misunderstandings about just what it is roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio

(and mostly what roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio is that this album is going to be a Fucking Disaster because instead of ripping apart one anothers songs and building them back up stronger all they’re doing is ripping into one another and calling it creative differences)

and he tosses up a couple of songs and lets them do what they will with them (and oh my god if you haven’t listened to action this day performed live???? do urself a favour and do it oh my god i fucking hated that song until i listened to it live) because well. they probably know better than he does at the moment, because he doesn’t quite trust himself. and tensions are high enough that inserting himself into the cockfight when he isn’t actually Sure about his opinions just seems an unnecessary risk.

and. uh. hot space...................................................... does as it does

and john is pretty mortified about the whole thing because.... ???? all of that work and fighting and it’s flopping which is. made all the more worse by brian’s oh too casual sympathetic comments during the press junket, and then even worse by the way that roger. doesn’t seem surprised?? because. well. even when it was a love song written about roger roger was honest about what he didn’t like about it, but now there’s a whole fucking album that john pushed really hard for and roger a) didn’t like it and b) didn’t tell him

he thought they respected one another more than that. he thought they were more secure than that. 

which sort of........ simmers uncomfortably between them as they gear up for the tour and sort of. explodes when roger starts making suggestions for changes to some of the songs for the live performances that. annoyingly sound much better and why didn’t you bring this up when we were recording the fucking album, roger (look aight atd sounds SO MUCH BETTER LIVE, IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND IM STILL SHOOK)

and roger’s sort pussyfooting around it because oh well... you know you and freddie really wanted to this one as a sort of concept album..... and brian and i didn’t want to interfere...... (brian: very much did want to interfere) ............ so ya know................ it’s not really my style so i didn’t wanna stick my foot where it doesn’t belong.........

and john’s like???? its music what the fuck are you Talking About? you know music you know what sounds good and what doesnt and it’s not like you’ve ever been shy about voicing your opinions before, so forgive me if im a bit confused about the sudden reticence 

regardless, it’s Not a Big Deal. no really. roger will insist this til the day he dies

and things calm down? they take a break and, as they are wont to do, the tensions of the band slowly start slipping from john and roger’s day to day lives? like, when they’re not living in close quarters and feeding off of the energies that brian and freddie and mack and everyone else is putting out. it’s just them, yeah? 

but anyway, roger’s still been writing music and ha enough for a new solo album so he’s like. yeah. think imma do that and john’s a bit taken aback because? fuck, you’ve been busy then you said you didn’t have much of anything for hot space??? and roger’s like. uh, yup. been busy. busy bee, me. ya know. while ur out painting the shed i gotta keep myself occupied somehow

except. well. john’s obviously lending a hand with bass and mixing, and brian’s in and out too, so’s freddie and. it’s freddie, actually, who picks up that roger had been working on the beat of  I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) back in the studio when they’d been working on hot space which.   doesn’t make sense, because he definitely hadn’t shown them it to them which is odd, because roger usually shows them everything he writes in case they want it for queen? 

and then brian chimes in because, actually, he recognises the lyrics for killing time? 

and john is like what the FUCK is going on because this is just? weird? 

so john ends up lowkey cornering him at home in a totally not cool sneaky fashion (read: he gives him a fucking mindblowing orgasm and then is like [head propped on roger’s chest] SO)  because???? ofc he supports rog’s solo career but also? why didn’t he share what he was writing with him? what’s going on? music’s always been a language they’ve shared, even if they tended towards different dialects, and now it... well it doesn’t feel very good that roger seems to be inching him out of something that john knows is so very important to him

and roger’s like huh no idea what you’re talking bout. been really busy writing recently. shame though, means i might not have much for the next queen album

and john’s like? do you want to leave queen, if that what this is about?

and roger’s horrified because what the fuck no i’m just not sure i’ll have much to contribute is all which has john like?? because. it’s roger of course he’s got something to contribute what the fuck are you talking about

but roger’s like oh well ya know nothing im really writing at the moment is much of our current style so. that’s cool, though. that’s fine

but john is confused bc well. hot space was a bit of a failure so they’re probably headed back to more consistent waters so that’s not a problem, and hey, maybe if roger had injected a bit more of his style into the album things might have been better right?

ANYWAY basically john’s like yo my man like. if u dont wanna write any material for the new album that’s? fine ig? but we kinda Need You to be a little bitch about the things u dont like because.... things work better when ur being a nitpicky little bitch than when ur being silently supportive of me :) though that was sweet

and rogers like oh i was 100% not being supportive of either u or brian’s bullshit tbh i just. disco isn’t my forte ya know i didn’t wanna chat shit ab smth i know nothing about like, god, imagine if you’d listened to me about aobtd????????? 

which. john’s like. i? i mean, i did. fuck sake, the whole thing got rewritten to be about our dog (steve) bc u made a joke about it? i.     i did listen to u about aobtd

and john has honestly NO IDEA what any of this is about? because roger has an awful tendency to sit on things until they’re Much Bigger than what they were to begin with. like, john’s actually not great at that? he’s not very good at hiding that he’s angry or upset, not for the long term. roger’s a lot better at it in the worst kind of way, because unless you pick up on it right at the beginning by the time you’ve figured out something’s wrong it’s months down the track and so many micro interactions or events have been tacked onto the Original Problem that it’s a sprawling mess of “i dont want to communicate that im feeling vulnerable about something so instead im gonna try and turn my vulnerabilities into armour” - like deciding to turn all of your writing, not just the stuff that won’t fit on your main project’s albums, into solo material because your solo stuff doesn’t have to be successful 

but also, ok fine. 

and so he sort of? lets it go? because tbh once roger latches onto something, when u havent go in there early enough? your best bet is to just wait for him to.... get over it. which he generally does. he doesnt have the patience for decade long grudge matches, not really.

and then it all comes to a head when brian writes and shows them all machines (or: back to humans) which obvs came about from an idea of roger’s and. well. freddie thinks its amazing, john is nodding along even as he sends him small little side eyes and well. fuck it, right?

and so the next week he comes in and slams down the first rough draft of radio gaga, the music heavily influenced by I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) which freddie had been complaining about being used up on a solo album 

and then he goes home and tops the hell out of john, the end.

#lo talks #joger hc's #headcanon asks #Anonymous

[melamelaya]

7 Deadly Sins <Beemoov edition>

So reminiscent of the art day which was my fav episode and because I won't be playing this game again as I don't support companies that want to eat money for breakfast by creating bad relationships with their clients, I wanna do the 7 Deadly Sins <Beemoov edition> because this Q&A got me angrier than it should

1. Greed - Let's start with the obvious being that you're literally trying to squeeze our pockets and you've surprased the limit of "hey I'm a company and I need money to function" by long. I get that you need more money because you're expanding but there are so many more ways of doing that by showing you care about the people that give you money and I'll just give u some examples

-Increasing the prices of AP and $, this will make the fandom moan a little but hey it doesnt affect the overall game experience and it still makes it optional as the previous system spent less and people were able to accumulate more APs.

-Maybe even sell exclusive outfits or items? Like the outfits you give in conventions. But instead of AP or $ they would cost real money.

-Creating more merch, like people would have loved more plushies or little stuff like this is what people would like to spent their money on.

-More events. I know you're working on them but yo this is a very profitable way and people love exclusive items.

2. Envy - You're probably envious that your game isn't doing as well as the previous one and this makes you frustrated. Ans your answers were very passive-aggressive because clearly you don't like it. You will probably also be envious on the fact that better games will be developed with a team that isn't so desperate to make money and has morals in order to satisfy the people before making such a drastic decision that can affect the enjoyment of the game. Oh and also, I guess you could also say that the fandom is envious on the people who can afford to spend so much money monthly on your stupid game because a lot of us are just students that try to be frugal but I guess your target audience doesn't matter, does it?

3. Gluttony - Oh how you love consuming us and how hungry you are for money. Would you like some eggs with your dirty money, Beemoov? Binging like this might actually kill you and your company, what's too much is too much. And when your fandom addresses these issues you still don't stop.

4. Wrath - I think all those angry reactions on your facebook posts say everything about this. Both parties are experiencing frustration and anger but the difference is that people are also disappointed. You're so frustrated that your fandom hates something you did. But I think the biggest wrath comes from the fandom itself, I think anger is the perfect sentiment to describe how people are feeling about your company and ethics, your marketing team, your system and your stupid Q&A that you might as well call Q&And fuc you.

5. Pride - You're too prideful to admit that you screwed up and too stubborn to make a change. You "stand by your AP system" because that's your company and you're a big boy and can do whatever you want. Honestly you're so childish Beemoov it's ridiculous. You basically ignore all of our complaints or just beat around the bush to blame it on "communication". It's not about communication, we made it really clear how we feel yet you still don't get it.

6. Sloth - Took you long enough, almost 3-4 months to answer us and yet you still didn't do it properly. You basically just said "they'll get used to it" and then when no one did you were like oh sh*t gotta answer these questions now ughhhhh. Also it's funny how most of your answers are just "No.". Nothing else. Just no.

7. Lust - I'll just interpret this with, Beemoov getting turned on when they see another player that wants to get into the game and giving them the money they so don't deserve, essentially losing their otome virginity on this shit game (who isn't as interesting when you gotta pay more now and dont evem have your fav characters anymore) and giving their money to a company who only screws the fandom over.

This is all I had to say woop, some things are a little over exaggerated, but hey it comes from the truth after all.

#mcl #my candy love #amour sucre

[superchartisland]

Trivial Pursuit (Domark, Spectrum, 1986)

Gallup all formats chart, Your Computer Vol. 7 No. 1, January 1987

Trivial Pursuit the board game divides the world of knowledge into six categories; six wedges of cheese for six spaces in a wheel with six spokes. In pursuit of rounded knowledge from Trivial Pursuit the computer game of the board game, there seems no better framework to adopt than its own.

By the time 1986 turned into 1987, electronic games had become well established as a leisure pursuit in their own right. For the teenagers of the time, they had been popular in some form for their entire lives. The ZX Spectrum and Commodore 64 had been out for five years, and increasing numbers of parents were being persuaded of their educational and fun value. That would carry on -- I got my own Commodore 64 several Christmases later. As discussed a few entries back, computer games were sold in the biggest high street shops. Meanwhile, sports are a familiar subject for AAA. Making games about subjects people already know well is an easy route in for an audience. Taking an already popular activity like football with its own set of defined rules and turning it into computerised form is an even more obvious thing to go for, on both the developers’ side and the players’. With that background, it is no surprise at all to find other existing leisure activities being successfully translated into computer games. The board game Trivial Pursuit was of a similar age to the Spectrum and C64, still in an initial swing of popularity which meant that an electronic version of it wasn’t trying to replace a well-established favourite like Monopoly, but offering an alternative or addition to the fun thing you’d recently come across. The computer game’s manual explicitly calls it a game that “the whole family (Mum and Dad included!) enjoy enormously.” On Christmas Day 1986, many British families must have gathered round the Spectrum after dinner for a game of Trivial Pursuit.

Computer science, particularly at the kind of price that was able to reach large numbers of game-playing households, had only advanced so far. This presented some technological barriers to recreating the Trivial Pursuit experience. Representing the colour brown, for instance, was apparently an unachievable task, and so the art & literature wedge becomes black. Still, Trivial Pursuit is a very viable candidate for transfer to computer form, comprising as it does of a series of trivia questions with a limited appendage of choosing movement and collecting tokens. So the dice also go, replaced by a random dart-throwing animation which captures a miniscule fraction of the tactile sense of ceremony, but mostly the game is intact. Expanded on, even, since the board game couldn’t offer musical rounds where listening to “She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain” is an essential part of the experience, or easily offer picture rounds. The one remaining issue is that of the mechanics of answering questions. I assumed going in that there would be some kind of multiple choice arrangement, but the actual solution is much more simple and elegant. The game just poses each question and then asks whether you got it right, Y/N? Players of the board game similarly get an answer written down and have to determine among themselves whether the player asked it answered satisfactorily, so why should a computer recreation of the experience be any different? The psychology of presenting an irreversible button-press and relying on players’ honesty in this way is nonetheless a fascinating sideshow all of its own.

I’ve talked previously about the strength of games as ways of presenting spaces. Trivial Pursuit has several spaces to present. One is the board, a recreation of a physical object with functionality retained and resemblance to the original object at the forefront. Another of its spaces is the more completely imagined room in which the question master paces backwards and forwards, surrounded by items to represent the different question categories. Sometimes it goes dark, giving the idea of an image being cast by a projector, the game turning into both test and lecture at the same time. Among the items in the room is a world map up on the wall. And what is a chart but a map of territory, of tangible or intangible space? The Gallup charts by which we are finding our way through the AAA journey are maps of their own territory, suspended between imaginary and real. SalesSpace, we could call it. In SalesSpace, the things that count are time and format and sales, and that’s what’s reflected in the picture of relationships between games that charts of SalesSpace show. In SalesSpace, board game recreation Trivial Pursuit and World War II shoot-em-up 1942 sit together in the same top ten. In SalesSpace, Trivial Pursuit goes between well-remembered arcade games Paperboy and Gauntlet along the route through the UK’s #1 games. Look along the right axes and what you might have thought of as very separate places turn out to be right next to each other.

One of the first things that’s obvious on playing Trivial Pursuit the computer game is its commitment to being as accessible as it can. It’s notable that it uses the keyboard’s arrow keys for directional controls, rather than QAOP or one of the other arcane combinations other Spectrum games tended to go for. Anyone was clearly meant to be able to turn up and figure out what was happening as quickly as possible, and that holds up. Admittedly if I didn’t already know the rules of Trivial Pursuit I would need the manual at hand, but that goes for the board game too. Past that, the basic action of answering trivia questions is fun, its questions are pretty well-pitched as easy but not too much so, and the attention to detail seems reasonable (I haven’t encountered any Hugh Jackilometresans so far). The choice of questions goes for timelessness, even more than the board version since the music question choices are backwards looking, presumably to keep the sound samples copyright-free. Where it doesn’t achieve that timelessness, the perspective on what has changed in three decades makes for intriguing wrinkles -- you could probably still ask “What was Mrs. Fawlty’s Christian name?” but not in those words. Trivial Pursuit is one of the most straightforwardly entertaining games I’ve played for AAA so far.

But is it art? It’s not a question that I’ve engaged with on this blog elsewhere, because it’s not very interesting, but it’s one that somehow doesn’t go away. An inferiority-complex-driven need to justify video games to outsiders as being art seems to have infinite lives. Worse, within some very loud pockets of game culture, that need sits alongside a vicious refusal to tolerate the kind of cultural criticism that art tends to get. Sometimes the same people are the ones saying both, and more. There’s no place for politics in games, apparently. Narrative events only ever happen inside the context of the narrative and not a wider context of authorial choice. Games should just be fun, OK? But, of course, the right kind of fun. The wrong kind of fun means a non-game, a phrase I became familiar with as I re-engaged with video games in the Wii and DS era and read NeoGAF, a gaming forum which was relatively open and welcoming (i.e. it was merely toxic rather than a seething hellscape). Wii Sports was a non-game. Non-games are successful games which are too popular and do too many things which games don’t do to count as games. In a weird inversion of the ‘how is this art?’ Turner Prize winner phenomenon, the mainstream audience sees non-games as a perfectly fine type of game and the enthusiasts proclaiming themselves at the centre of the culture completely deny non-games a place in the category. Not in the sense of them being too lowbrow, but of trying to define them out completely. Trivial Pursuit would surely have counted as a non-game. Which is nonsense, obviously. It provides an experience of a virtual space that’s dependent on the player’s actions, producing an emerging narrative within its bounds. I can’t work out a plausible game definition which wouldn’t include it without going absurdly narrow. Its selection of questions is a meaningful creative decision, illustrating and reinforcing what knowledge is seen as worth knowing. As for the wider art question, let’s just say that I have an equally tough time with any argument that identifies Frank Bruno’s Boxing as art and doesn’t do the same for Trivial Pursuit.

One of the more successful tactics of the kind of gatekeepers who talk about non-games is an appeal to history. They were here first. People who want something different than monolithic hardcore games are trying to change the rightful way of things proven by time. The whole idea of non-games has that idea of definition-by-precedent built in. Yet find the right maps and this appeal to history is revealed as not only bogus, but bogus even within the boundaries of its own arguments. Casual games and casual players have been here thriving all along. As 1986 turned in 1987, more people were going to their local high street WHSmith and buying Trivial Pursuit the computer game than were buying anything that has outlasted it as an emblem of retro gaming. The world mapped out by the games charts has always been a big one with room for many perspectives and interests. It’s not surprising, because it’s the same story for other media. And yes, other media have their own purer-in-the-old-days crews, too. Music discussions are crowded with talk of how things were better in the past when real music ruled. But significantly, it’s almost as common to see the response that there has always been music of different types in every era, even if it’s likely to be phrased as ‘there has always been disposable pop’ or something more derogatory. The narrative of aberration can’t stand when enthusiasts are engaged with the reality that refutes it. It’s much tougher for ahistorical nonsense to gain any credence when reality is a matter of public record, the charts that map history still accessible. But what if your medium has failed to keep its history up so well? What if the only history most get to see is filtered through the nostalgia and commercial goals of a specific set of winning viewpoints? What if Gauntlet is commemorated but Trivial Pursuit isn’t? Then the gatekeepers can just keep on pretending that the current version of what they don’t approve of is a new aberration, restarting their game to fight the same fights over and over again from a position of illusory strength. The selective retention of knowledge is anything but trivial.

Q: What was the UK’s best-selling computer game at the turn of 1987?

A: Trivial Pursuit.

#every number one #Trivial Pursuit #8bit #retrogaming #ZX Spectrum #1987 #video games

[widgenstain]

i hope this doesnt sound creepy but what were your thoughts on submergence? I love reading movie reviews/rants about my faves (jamesy)

Lol, no,not creepy at all, I wanted write a few words after I saw it two weeks (?) agoanyway, but got distracted. I hope this doesn’t disappoint you though! Not so many positive opinions here!

(light spoilers under the cut)

The best word to sum up my feelings about this is“meh”. I expected the worst after reading some reviews but it wasn’tTHAT bad. It wasn’t good either though. I felt pretty vindicated in myassessment from January 2016 ; Submergence isn’t abook that translates well on screen. And they didn’t even try very hard. Boy, thatscript is bad…

Sceneslifted directly from the book that anyone with even the tiniest understandingof how good narratives work would have changed, or at least tried to make morefilmable. Instead we got this mess; long, clunky, scientific dialogue thatworks as a build-up in the book but needed to be cut short in the movie andmore importantly: focussed on the message and motives behind it! What does it mean to behuman, to live in certain social structures and how insignificant are we andthose social structures really in the big picture? You don’t have to explain the layers of the Ocean if you can’t get across how vast they really are and what that vastness is meant to symbolise! 

Thedirection doesn’t clear anything up either. It’s so inconsistent in its levelsof subtlety. Especially in the parts that take place in France it needed to be waymore obvious; what attracts these two people to each other? THE importantquestion in a romance!

In the bookit’s intellectual understanding and fascination with the other person’sapproach to topics like love, death, religion etc.. I wasn’t kidding in my earlierpost when I said that in the book they aren’t really characters, but voices for differentworld views that somehow still see their similarities and learn from eachother. The whole thing is supported by their weirdly intertwining heritage andlife story; she’s a biracial cosmopolitan who explores the seas his ancestors sailed,before he became a spy in Africa, who’s deeply involved with Eastern Africanconflicts.

In the movie?Yeah, that first part doesn’t come across whatsoever. They try, but it’s fartoo subtle and the script doesn’t capture the differences/similarities at all. Theyprobably realised that, so they added a lot of sex scenes instead. I was veryworried for them but they’re actually fine.They’re notreally well-matched physically, James looks way older than Alicia (well, he is,widge) but they do have chemistry. Is it the chemistry the movie needs though? No,it’s not.

I totallycan see them as two people who met at a nice hotel on the Atlantic coast and thought“hey u cute!” “hey, u cute too, let’s have some really good sex since we’reboth people who are so good at sex.” And after the three days, they went their ways andmaybe thought of each other during a wank session or two.

It’s notthe chemistry of a couple where he thinks of her in the worst moments of his lifeand she in the most triumphant yet terrifying ones. 

As for the intertwiningheritages? They actually wrote, shot, edited and left in a scene in which hetalks about her being such a “mongrel” of Swedish and Australian heritage. Noone in that whole process noticed the disconnect or the freaking white-washing!Wim Wenders deserves a few punches in the nuts for that.

As for theacting, yeah… I’m not a fan of Alicia, there I said it. I don’t subscribe tothe hate the Fassbender fans/haters/toxically obsessed creeps (who keeps upwith this these days?) throw at her but I sincerely do. not. understand. how shemade it as far as an actress as she has. 

Still, she is ok in this, she showsmore than her usual three expressions and some actual emotions. That doesn’ttake away from the fact that she acts in scenes, not in movies. She’s onecharacter in one scene, another in the next. It - weirdly enough - works bestin the sex scenes where they allowed her to be an unusually tomboyish character,not the ultra-feminine seductress you’d expect in such context. She feels more or less natural and ok in them.

She’s farless believable as the career-driven and respected-by-her-peers scientist andit’s the absolute worst in the “phone” scenes. To be fair the script fucks herover in these as well, turning Danny, a stoic woman of science about to go onthe biggest adventure of her career, into a bawling teenage girl, who’s upsetthat the guy she had really good sex with doesn’t reply to her calls. 

A betteractress than her would have struggled with that garbage too, but with her scene-actingit really feels like you’re watching someone completely different each time. Addthe gloomy goth girl rambling about suffocating in really inappropriate momentsand you’ve got your stitched together Frankenstein character.

James of course knows how to portray a coherent character, but he isn’tat the height of his game either in the beginning. He’s a bit stiff, the whole spy stuff is thankfully short because it feels like an artsy-fartsydirector trying and failing to do James Bond, and the scenes in captivity would have hit much harder if you’d gotten WHY he adores her so and whispers “OH DANNY” all so dramatically.

I mean, I get thatmovie!James is trying to hang on to his sanity as best as he can, but why think of that random girlhe had really good sex with in France? Why not his mother, his best friend or, ffs, his housekeeper in Nairobi he’s known for more than 3 days?! The film doesn’tget this across and it’s sad (I’m also convinced the editor hated them. Herflashbacks show him squinting unattractively and his flashbacks show her from areally unfortunate angle.)

However, hisacting is top notch in the pivotal scene when movie!James’ captors send him into thewater to shoot him. It starts out all dramatic but then he takes it and turnsit into this absolutely painful, human moment where he yanks the audience’sheart out and crushes it like he’s wont to do. Man is he good. From that on Ilike the movie. 

The interactions with the doctor (helloooo Julian Bashir, didn’tknow you were in this!) are the best scenes in the book as well and they’reexcellent. Nothing is black and white, how different can the lessons differentpeople take from the same situations be, etc.? It’s great.

Except whenthe movie suddenly throws all subtlety overboard. There’s a scene where a womangets stoned and instead of focusing on the fucking amazing acting that goes on onJames’ and Alexander Siddig’s faces it has to ram the pointhome with the silliest effects. It’s such a waste of two excellent actors with an amazingly uncomfortable chemistry. 

Still, the scenes with the extremists are awesome. Too short and I don’t think the movie audience really gets how intriguingReda Kateb’s character really is, but they’re part of a movie that could havebeen great. Pity that wasn’t the whole movie.

I was a bitconfused after Tiff last year where Wenders said that he changed the ending butI don’t think he really has? Both are open in ways, but not really. I liked theending in the book and I liked it in the movie, super kitschy lifetime movieshots of Danny aside.

Anotherpositive thing I noticed was the light. Whoever did that really understood whatto do with the beautiful people in front of the camera and how to tell thefreaking story. I swear, the light on her face as he leaves the hotel, in hisprison and in her sub does a far better job at connecting them and explainingthe motives than script and direction together! I hope that light person got paid a ridiculously high amount of money and gets to do more movies.The script person should find another day job though and Wenders should stick todocumentaries from now on.

In short:Meh. Not gonna buy the DVD but maybe will check it out another time when/if itcomes along on Netflix and see if my opinion changes.

#submergence #james mcavoy #reviews #more like rambling words #teehee #intowhiteness #we talked about this #rant rant rant #whitewashing

[spm-aesandmemes]

Dimentio-

i shouldve known this was gonna happen huh

Sexuality hc: i honestly see dimentio as having never been introduced properly to (familial, romantic, platonic, etc…) relations. as such; he really just could care less. so?? technically none i guess

Gender hc: my hc (although this fluctuates a lot hmsnd) is that he can pass off as anything and just waits for what others decide on for him before presenting himself in that way.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hes an actor, hes used to changing for the audiences interest

A ship w Character: 

BROTP w Character:

NOTP w Character:dimentio x dimentio is a HUGE no

Random hc: one of my random hcs for dimentio (out of. a Lot shdfs) is that he doesnt even know why he wears his mask. its just super uncomfortable for him whenever he takes it off, so instead he keeps it on whenever he can, even if it feels suffocating. because anything is better than revealing how hes been deceiving himself. (also angst w this hc is… is good. i love writing angst hndsf)

General opinion (aka, for me, Jester, a lowkey character analysis oops): 

Dimentio was a good villain to be honest. hes memorable, hes got a charm, and hes one of the biggest backstabbing assholes who only plays for himself. we thought it was over after defeating count bleck, only to find out that dimentio, too, had survived with luigi in the false “suicide” magic attack. that this jester was going to push himself to the limit just in the hopes the worlds would all end.

and before that? he seemed like just another mindless minion following bleck’s orders until it was near the end. dimentio seemed like just the sidekick that gave the player a few laughs here and there, meaningless to the plot yet entertaining and charming. 

now; if we arent talking story wise

i really fucking love his character design. call me a nerd or w/e but its really good. you never really realise how much black is in his outfit until you go and draw it bc even with how little color he has, he seems as colorful as his phrases

anyway

i still prefer some of the other villains and their stories, but dimentio is still a pretty good one

#if anyone sends in nastasia i will love you #ask #ask meme #Dimentio #spm #>Jester

[smoljohnlock]

@monikakrasnorada replied to your post

I love the jump theory. There is so much evidence that points to it, but I'm with you about the blog. And, it's a lot to ask the general viewing audience to accept Mary wasn't real. At least from HLV on, there hasn't been a character introduced that anyone has become 'attached' to. I don't count Eurus, because why do we need or want to keep her around?�� and they fridged her already, so she is literally a non-entity.

on the other hand, things that bother me with s3 and the fall

change in pov and general change in visuals and plot

tsot makes absolutely NO SENSE - the stabbing? impossible. + there’s a picture of a waterfall which just doesnt leave me alone

HLV reminds me a lot of TRF - magnussen as moriarty, but this time, only moriarty dies.  TLD = HLV so culverton = moriarty, only this time sherlock shares his plan with john. mary running away in T6T - sherlock after TRF. waterfall TAB scene - TRF. i feel like we’ve been going through the same event all this time

we STILL dont know how sherlock survived and it’s the biggest loose thread so far so it would be logical to expect a huge reveal

moffat saying there’s an ongoing element that ppl havent caught up on yet in 2016

i cant believe how much time we’re wasting on this show oh my god

#monikakrasnorada

[opendoorlorien]

I like reading ur char analysis and would love to see u write on abt ur man (Kaze) ;3c

So…my precious Kaze… He’s…cute…lovely…smart… adorable…irresistible…plus…amazing… Don’t you think so? Oh, so…wild…beautiful…kind… I love him! Hug him… He’s warm and cuddly… Oh, he’s…spectacular…captivating…simply divine… I treasure him… Oops! Look at the time! I’ve kept you too long! Thanks for hearing me out.

Generally I think there’s a difference between characters that are fleshed out and characters who go through actual development. Yes, many times those things coincide, but in Fire Emblem, if you’re not a main character, they usually don’t.

Basically none of the cast of Awakening “developed” in any real sense. Like I mentioned before there were some characters who had little moments or bursts of it (like Chrom and some villains) but no gradually, building arc for any of them. Instead most of Awakening’s cast was fleshed out instead of developed. Meaning, the more supports you saw of them, the more you learned about them (like backstory, where they came from, what they want, ect). There are a lot of characters who have simple archetypes on the outside, but actually have a lot of layers and details to them the further you look, like Henry, Lon'qu, Virion ect.

I believe Kaze is one of the non royal characters in Fates who is not only very well fleshed out, but also goes through some nice character development. Like I said before, Fates did a little better on the character development front with its cast than Awakening. Disregarding the royals, there are some regular units who go places too. The only ones I can think of who go through any real development ON SCREEN are Flora, Gunter and Kaze. Flora and Gunter’s development mostly leads to a bad end (Gunter’s end in Revelations is kind of bitter sweet but I find it a tad more tragic and bitter than anything, though he is sort of heal now and put some demons to rest at least). While Kaze, instead, can have either good end or bad end depending on what YOU do. Which is kinda nice, you know. His character development is interactive lol.

There are also characters like Jakob or Hinoka who go through character development OFF SCREEN which we only find out about in supports and is only told to us. And I dont find these anywhere near as powerful because we dont get to see them happen, not that they’re bad or anything, but lack a bit of poignancy because of how they’re displayed to the audience as told instead of shown.

I’ve heard Kaze described before as a deceptively complex character, and he REALLY is. At first glance he seems like a very simple and straightforward character with a personality to match. But take this from someone who hyper focuses on him, that the more you look into him, the more little quirks and details you begin to find. (Or maybe I can just see it because I’m reading too deep into him lol) Either way, I wouldn’t consider it REACHING at all to call Kaze a complex character. And there’s more to him than just his relationship to Corrin too, but just a bit. Because, of course, Kaze is very largely defined and effected by Corrin AND–as I will be referring to it as–his one big fuck up in Cheve.

But setting Corrin and the effects of that fuckup aside, Kaze’s stoic and serious personality is mainly derived from him being raised from birth to be a human weapon owned and used by nobility, which is basically what a hoshidan ninja is. But out of the three ninjas in Fates, I think Kaze ended up as the most emotionally well off. And I think the biggest defining reason for that is because he didn’t have anything big to live up to. Saizo was messed up personality and emotionally wise because he was groomed from day one to take up the family name, and similarly Kagero fights as a ninja in place of her sickly brother and as to not disappoint her family and bring shame to them. But because Kaze doesnt really have anything like this, I believe his upbringing was a taaaad more chill, and because of that while he does seem emotionally stunted and a little robotic, he still ends up being the most personable, friendly and sociable of the three ninjas. (And I think he’s kind to others and goes out of his way to help them for another reason too but more on that later)

Okay so you can’t really talk about Kaze without also talking about Corrin. Because the shit that happened in Cheve FUCKED HIM UP and pretty much fundamentally changed and made him into who he is today, and the majority of his personality traits can be traced back to that incident. Now why did it fuck Kaze up so bad? A lot of reasons really. Firstly–the big one–he failed his duty. Not only as a retainer (it wasn’t official yet, but it was his JOB then to protect Corrin) but also as a ninja who, remember, are manufactured from day 1 to serve as weapons or menial otherwise for the royal family. So failing in his duty here was an extreme failing for him on almost every aspect as a person. And this is a big blow for him emotionally as well because Kaze is not heartless here, and this fuckup lead not only to Corrin being captured but to Sumeragi being killed as well. It was, in essence, the ultimate failing (if it sounds like I’m blaming him here, I’m not. I honestly think Garon would have found a way to fuck shit up whether Kaze had noticed those soldiers in Cheve or not. But from his eyes, this is how he sees things)

This affected Kaze so deeply that he furthermore refers to this failing as a ‘grave sin’ he’s committed, and one that he believes he can’t and has no right to be forgiven for. The loss of Corrin and Sumeragi then by extension created a huge avalanche effect by ripping a huge hole in the hearts of the Hoshidan family and the country itself, which I’m sure Kaze got to see the full and gradual effects of as the years went by. Ouch. (I’m sure he’s very aware of Sakura’s anxiety and Takumi’s many many issues being after effects of what went down in Cheve also.) AND WAIT, it GETS WORSE. As if this wasn’t bad enough for Kaze who, REMEMBER, was a child at the time, probably no older than 15, knew that Corrin was also being taken away to Nohr. Which is a country he’s only ever heard bad things about, so he had no reason to believe Corrin wasn’t suffering and going through hell there, which in his mind would have been HIS FAULT. (And if he heard any of Azura’s firsthand account horror stories of the place, he had no reason not to believe that Nohr was a hellhole.) So add that to the guilt

So basically, this was the worst thing that could have happened for everyone involved (sans for Garon, or maybe even the Nohr family because they got a nice new sibling) but for Kaze and the Hoshidans? This was beyond rock bottom. It’s no wonder Kaze as a character is so largely defined and also deeply wounded by this incident.

In Kaze’s eyes he’s 100% to blame here, and because he believes he can never be forgiven for this act, he thinks the only way to atone for it is to die. In fact he probably went to Mikoto right after everything went down, told her what happened and insisted on the death penalty. But of course Mikoto is a nice lady so she said pish posh to that Kaze, forgave him, and tried to get him to keep living. Now even though Kaze wants to die, he’s not just going to sudoku or throw his life away needlessly.

To atone for this sin he knows he’d need to give his life away for a reason or an honorable purpose. So instead of just dying he does continue to live, and uses his life for the betterment of others. And this is where his constantly friendly and helpful attitude comes from. Okay now I DO fully believe Kaze is honestly just a nice guy and enjoys helping people, but I also think he makes an effort to go OUT of his way to help people as his own way of atoning for that one big failing even just a little. Like his worth is defined by how he assists others and improves their lives, whether he’s entirely aware of that or not. If he is able to make someone happy and improve their QoL, then it means he’s not an entirely useless failing of a person and a ninja like he thinks he is.  

This is also why in turn Kaze has such a low opinion of himself. I don’t think its something you really notice till you take a closer look at his supports and things, but every now and then he drops off handed derogatory comments about himself. That he’s just ‘a lowly ninja’, he humbly denies any praise sent his way just writing it off as “what I did was nothing special”, he marks himself as a determent to things even when he wasn’t. Because of what happened in Cheve, he doesn’t see any worth in himself.

(^he’s talking about chapter 4 here, where he showed up in the map with VULNEARIES for you. So he was only an asset, and yet)

(+this is also why Kaze doesn’t like the affections he gets from random women. THEY see his charm, but he doesn’t. And he doesnt see WHY they think so highly of him. He doesn’t think he deserves the praise and being showered with it makes him feel uncomfortable and upset. Since how can he be a good man when, in his eyes, he’s done so muhc wrong) 

So while Kaze is actually a very nice, sweet, helpful and kind well meaning guy, he actually has a REALLY deep self loathing and low opinion of himself. He’s kind of in an eternal rut that he can’t get out of, and doesn’t believe he deserves to get out of. So the only way to really get him out of it is of course Corrin. And luckily they run back into each other again very early on in Fates. Even though Kaze successfully helps in bringing Corrin back home to Hoshido, he’s still not completely healed here yet because his real issues havent really been addressed and RESOLVED. Corrin is back but they still dont know about Kaze’s involvement during that night in Cheve. And Kaze wants to tell them. He wants to let Corrin know about the whole deal (since Kaze is the kind of person who believes talking and communicating about your problems is the healthy and beneficial thing to do–like its one of the main things he does in his support with Saizo) but of course while the wound has kind of closed, it still hurts. He’s perfectly happy with being cordial and friendly with Corrin, but he doesn’t want to open up to Corrin too much because he’s super afraid that if Corrin finds out about what happened in Cheve, then Corrin would hate him. Which is why in their support he goes to lengths to avoid telling Corrin about it.

Their support is really special to me because it addresses a lot of Kaze’s deep rooted personal issues in which NO OTHER Kaze support even attempts at. Think about it, pretty much EVERY single other Kaze support is about Kaze helping someone else. But in Corrin and Kaze’s support, it’s about Corrin helping HIM, which is what he NEEDS more than anything. And it starts simple at first too, like with Corrin noticing he has a low opinion of himself and trying to show him “the good in himself” which he FERVENTLY believes he doesn’t have. 

So when Corrin keeps telling him he’s a good person, it actually really upsets him (to the point he’s actually angry??????!!!!! which I think is one of the only occasions in game or any other supports Kaze gets even close to being miffed. Which I think goes to show just how deeply this shit affected him right).

Corrin isnt upset that Kaze got mad with them, but Corrin realizes they bugged Kaze in one way or another so backs off. But Kaze felt super bad about it, so in the A rank he decides to GET THIS SHIT ALL TOGETHER AND TELL CORRIN EVERYTHIN. Luckily for him Corrin is a good person and also pure of heart (and can see everything was just a REALLY bad turn of Fate, not one individual person’s fault) so they IMMEDIATELY forgive him and tell him something important he REALLY needed to hear all these years. 

That from the person he failed that night, everything that happened wasn’t his fault.

Corrin encourages him to come to terms with everything and move forward from it. And this is where the concept of Kaze giving his life for Corrin “splits”. 

I mentioned earlier Kaze has good end character development and bad end character development. If you get his A rank in every route then GOOD FOR YOU, he’s healed! So now instead of dying to atone for his sin, he decides to devote his life to your well being and happiness (Giving Kaze heal settles him back into the place where he was always meant to be, as Corrin’s retainer. He even says in the A rank that, while he was meant to be a servant and retainer, he was never given a single master to serve like Saizo and everyone else had. And AS a person who was RAISED to be a kind of living weapon or tool, this really disconcerned him. He had no one and nothing to specifically devote to. It’s like he was a tool made for a certain purpose, but that purpose was taken away. So imagine the years he must have spent living in the castle, seeing all the retainer and lord squads together and feeling a sense of loss and emptiness in himself because he didn’t have that and he didn’t know why. I think even the Hoshido family, whether they know it conciously or not, kind of see him as an odd one out and I don’t think they really knew what to do with him aside from menial bitch work like delivering letters and crap.SMH

Anyway, now that he’s got you again his PURPOSE has returned. And he reminds you whenever he can, whether you’re married to him or not, that his life is YOURS now and he’ll give it up if necessary to keep you going.

And he will and DOES.

Now while Kaze still readily says he’ll give his life for you, I think its said in a better spirit than it was pre-healing. I think the difference is illustrated very well in the good end and bad end of Birthright chapter 15.

Where if he’s NOT healed his only thoughts are to get you out of this alive, himself be damned. (He’s also really emotional at the time and not thinking very clearly because of…….obvious circumstances. So in the short window he has, the question is posed to him “save Corrin or save yourself” and of course he gives himself to save Corrin (which I think is even more super interesting if you consider that you married him to someone else who isnt Corrin. Because in this moment, no matter WHO Kaze is married to, if he didn’t get that A rank with Corrin, he is going to die here. Corrin is the only thing that can keep him alive here, and when push comes to shove, Kaze throws away >everything

While if he IS healed Kaze has put most of the emotional anguish and baggage behind him so he is able to think through the tense situation of dangling off a cliff 500000000000000000 miles in the air, and find a way to save THE BOTH of you. Which is definitely the most definitive example between healed!Kaze and nothealed!Kaze. (Although I still do think if it came down to it, he’d still risk everything for Corrin’s life, even if that meant sacrificing his own. It’s just now throwing his life away isnt at the forefront of his mind.)

So with Birthright out of the way, what about that Conquest! Now of course Conquest is a super interesting route for Kaze too because it puts him in another kind of extreme situation. And that is him leaving everything that he ever knew and loved in Hoshido to help you, fight for the dream you believe in, and assist you in achieving your goals. And yes this is another way of Kaze trying to atone for his sin. I think it’s at least half the reason he decides to defect and join you, but he also says he felt your conviction when you fought, and he firmly believes in your justice, and that you are fighting for the betterment of everyone. So he’s not entirely fighting for ONLY you here, but fighting to help you achieve peace in the way you’ve chosen, by going to Nohr.

Kaze is interesting in both routes but I think he’s slightly more interesting in Conquest, and also because BR treats him like he’s dead after ch15 even if you kept him alive.

In Conquest Kaze has two interesting moments, one in chapter 11 where he makes the choice to turn his back on everything in Hoshido for you and go to your side. And in the ninja cave chapter later on in Conquest where we run into Saizo. Which is a nice chapter and I think is executed MUCH better than the Mokushoku crap in Birthright. Firstly because Saizo tells Kaze and the audience that Kotaro is the one who killed their father, which in BR you only find out if you send Saizo to personally engage the dude. And because of that in Conquest, I like to make a point to have Kaze blow the guy’s shit to pieces. 

hehe get fucked

BUT post-battle we have a small neato moment too where Corrin expresses regret and says to Kaze “if you hadn’t come with me then you wouldn’t have to fight against Hoshido and your brother.”btw briefly touching on Saizo and Kaze here, or at least how Kaze feels about him. Even though they’re not super personal and close with each other, of COURSE they love each other they’re gd family. I think Kaze’s feelings toward Saizo are mostly respect and admiration. Kaze says in the drama CD he thinks very highly of Saizo and nothing will ever change that. Even if they are enemies, Kaze does what needs to be done to achieve the peace he believes in, and the peace Corrin is fighting for.And that’s what he tells Corrin. Both Hoshido and Nohr are fighting for what they believe to be “justice” (

There’s also the interesting possible circumstance of this happening

This has the potential to be a really interesting scene in A LOT of ways (like, think about this for a sec. Not only is Kaze killing his brother, he’s also taking the Saizo name down with it). So we could have got some neat dialogue or a cutscene here to explore this scene a bit, but unfortunately they were making three games here and this ALREADY happens in late game conquest, so unfortunately the developers just didnt have the time or energy to give us a good scene here.And I get it, like, not everyone is going to have Kaze kill Saizo here. It would have been nice if they got one short exchange here. But, I guess that’s what fanfictions are for.

Now with all of THAT out of the way.

How do I personally feel about Kaze? WELL OHOHOHO*SCREAMS FOR 5 YEARS*

For me, personally. Kaze just does everything in the right way. I’ve had a lot of husbands over the years who I’ve loved in varying states of intensity and over varying periods of time. But I feel like none of those old hoes comes anywhere close to the ‘perfect blend of everything right’ that is Kaze.

If he were a cake he’d be the perfectly made chocolate cake. Sure chocolate cake seems kinda average and “the usual” at first, but imagine you had one which just had the PERFECT amount of everything prepared in the absolute perfect way to the best effect, and the more you dug into it you found like a gooey strawberry center which made the flavor all the more complex and interesting.

Kaze also subverts VERY many of the pitfalls that have made me fall out of older husbands that had similar archetypes to him.

I like serious characters but not characters who are TOO serious (Lonqu suffers from this, and, looking back, Frederick is VERY rigid). But with Kaze? DW ABOUT THAT because he has a spicy and playful side. And he’s also CHILL.

Kaze seems almost obsessively devoted to Corrin which could potentially lead to bad end yandere? DONT WORRY ABOUT THAT, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY A WHOLESOME PUREBOY who respects personal boundaries and doesn’t want to be smothering.

With his personality he might be boring and not go anywhere as a character? (Frederick was kind of like this) DONT WORRY WE’VE GOT A++++ DEVELOPMENT and putting him in interesting character situations.

And any other issue I can think of for not liking Kaze is always subverted in a similar sense. Just everything he does… he does it so right. He may not be a big main character and he may not be pushed to any extreme radical limits like he potentially could be or like some other characters are like Takumi or Xander (again, another place for fanfics) THAT DONT MATTA TO ME BECAUSE HE IS A BEST.

Honestly he’s probably the best husband I’ve ever had and while I generally am fickle and my opinions on things can usually waver and change, I do really hope this love lasts a long, long time.  IM ALSO CRYING.

#Anonymous #Kaze #opinion piece #PUTTING THIS IN HIS TAG BECAUSE LOLCHARACTER ANALYSIS #I think Kaze has quite a lot of aspects I could have mini info dumps about #I probably could have talked more about Saizo or something but I'm already dead lol #sorry anon it took me a week to answer this lol #but yeah I basically covered Kaze's general character stuff here #so if any yall dont understand Kaze's entire dealio? #ya understand it now bc here it is #and yeah that part at the beginning is from that creepy Rapidash guy from the Pokemon fanclub #I forget what game he's in LOL #also this is long and if yall read all this yall get a gold star #there are a lot of nice pictures and things #enjoyyyyyy #one of my greatest fears is actually falling out of love with Kaze #I HOPE THAT NEVER HAPPENS #IF ANY OF YALL ARE WITCHES PLS CAST A SPELL SO I LOVE HIM FOREVER #I can also relate to him too #at least on the hating yourself aspect because of a fuck up you made in the past #and feeling you dont deserve good things bc of it #I feel u Kaz #I got kinda emotional writing this also LOL

[toyfrog]

Spader' Portguese Interview: Planting a Massive Oak Tree and Breaking Away!

Oh, yes he is.

Without a Doubt: Spader isn’t happy. And it seems his own fanbase are out of touch with his true feelings on the subject of fame, and why he just wants a simple work schedule like he had in Season 1?

Is that too much to ask? Apparently so. And because he’s been forced to work all the time, it’s taking him away from his private life.

HES NOT HAPPY.

But those who follow me *know* this already.

James Spader stars in “The Blacklist” since 2013. It’s more of a dark character in his career, the ones he’s drawn to.

[I’VE MENTIONED THIS: WHENEVER A LEAD ACTOR BECOMES FRUSTRATED WITH STORY, OR IN SPADER’S CASE, ADD THE SHOOTING SCHEDULE, THEYRE GOING TO VENT. NOT IN THE STATES BECAUSE THEY ARE PROTESTING IN THEIR OWN WAY THEIR DISTRESS OVER THE CURRENT STORY DIRECTION. ILL EVEN ADD ON THAT THE INTERVIEWEES ARE HAND PICKED BY THE SAME SOFTBALL CREW WHO WILL WRITE JUST ABOUT ANYTHING TO HYPE A BAD SHOW OR INTERVIEW THE SAME ACTOR OVER AND OVER THE ACTOR WHO LOVES TO HEAR HIMSELF TALK, LIVES THE SPOTLIGHT, NILS IS A TERRIBLE DISEASE FOR ROOKIE ACTORS. THEY START BELIEVING THEIR OWN PRESS UNTILL THOSE RATINGS CRASH THEIR Q SCORE]

[SO WHILE AMIR ARISON, AND RE TWEET THEIR ‘LOYALTY’ BECAUSE THEY ARE GETTING THE MOTHERLODE OF AIRTIME AND STORY, OTHER ACTORS REMAIN SILENT AND FOR GOOD REASON. THE SHOW IS ALARMINGLY IMBALANCED.]

James Spader’s debut in the art of representation took place in the cinema in the early 1980s, but in the nearly four decades of his career, the actor stood out as a TV character in “gray” or completely dark. That was the unethical Alan Shore of Fair Cause and Boston Legal or the puzzling Robert California of The Office. But also from Raymond “Red” Reddington from The Blacklist, NBC series issued in Portugal by SIC. Dressing the skin to these villains is not an imposition, but Spader admits in an interview that DN had access that feels “a certain attraction” by them.

���I’ve always found anti-heroes very attractive and of course playing a villain who mixes his evil with humor and irreverence can be a lot of fun,” he explains. [HERES THE DISCONNECT: RED IS A VILLAIN-HIS FANS REFUSE TO SEE THAT. INSTEAD THEY FEEL RED IS THE LONG SUFFERING HERO HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH LIZ. YEA. THATS *NOT* WHATS GOING ON HERE AT ALL. IN THE END, “HE MUST PAY.” READ THE FARMER PARABLE AND YOU’LL KNOW THE ENDING. It DOES NOT MATTER WHAT GOOD RED DOES IN THE FIVE YEARS….IN THE END, “HE KNOWS IN HIS HEART THAT HE MUST PAY.”]

In fiction, he believes, tyranny represents “in many respects the extremes of society” and is a “kind of morbid curiosity” in knowing these extremes that impels it.

[DO WE SEE HOW SPADER AND KLATTENHOFF APPROACH THEIR INTERVIEWS? ALL ABOUT THE CRAFT NOT THE STORYLINE. NEVER ABOUT THE STORYLINE BECAUSE PROFESSIONALS LEAVE IT TO THE WRITERS. BUT IF RATINGS SINK BECAUSE OF THOSE CHOICES, THE ACTORS THROW SHADE IN A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WAY AND SPADER BROUGHT HIS OAK TREE]

The success of his “Red”, the man most wanted by the FBI - who gave himself on the condition of being released and in turn helping to catch criminals on a blacklist - is also due to “luck” On television had come “at a time when anti-heroes were not plentiful.” “Now there’s probably more, though I do not have time to watch TV. I’m too busy doing it,” stresses the interpreter. [HE DOESNT WATCH TV HE DOESNT WATCH BLACKLIST ITS WHY HES NOT ON TWITTER HE GOES SHOOTS HIS SCENES AND GOES HOME. HE DOES NOT HANG OUT WITH ACTORS OR STAFF HE IS LIKE MANY ACTORS WHO PREFER TO AVOID THE SPOTLIGHT EXCEPT WHEN THE DIRECTOR SHOUTS, “ACTION”]

In his house, he says, “there is not a single television yet.” “I’ll move in soon, who knows if there will not be?” Jokes Spader, 57. “I do not know if this is not a paradox … I spend so much time, so many hours, [NOTICE HE KEEPS BRINGING UP HIS SHOOTING SCHEDULE? TRY MEMORIZING HIS DIALOGUE THE WINTER FINALE SHOWCASED SPADER FOR 21 MINUTES. THATS EXCESSIVE. He’d prefer ten maybe 8. 21 MINUTES LEAVES NO ROOM FOR ANYONE ELSE. FANS MAY BE FINE WITH THAT BUT SPADER ISNT. THATS OVERTIME] so many days, weeks and months to live within the television fiction and within the television drama … [SPADER IS TIRED. SPADER WANTS WHAT HE WAS PROMISED IN SEASON 1.I dedicate so much of my life to television as when I do not I’m working, I do not want to waste time with her, "he explains. [Her AS IN HIS GF? I would assume?]

Incidentally, probably not watching the fiction on the small screen is that James Spader does not have a formed and "objective” opinion on the evolution of the industry. “I do not know if I understand the business, I know it’s changing, it’s getting more involved and growing, it’s expanding in a dizzying way, [AND HERE COMES THE OAK TREE TO PROVIDE ENOUGH SHADE TO REACH LOS ANGELES] but it’s very complicated to be aware of what happens if we spend a lot of time working, [WORKING SHOOTING, NO TIME WITH HIS GF OR FAMILY NO TVS IN THE HOUSE DOESNT WATCH THE SHOW NOT ABSORBED IN RED ITS NOT HIM AND HES TIRED OF THE CHAOS-MY BELIEF, THE BAD WRITING. USING HIM TO FIX THE WRITING. USING HIS CHARACTER TO CARRY THE SHOW AND THE IMBALANCE TO THE SHOW] Which is my case, "he explains.

Compared to other NBC hit series such as This Is Us, Chicago Fire, Chicago Justice, or Timeless, [ALL THESE SHOWS HAVE BETTER RATINGS THAN THE BLACKLIST. THATS HOW BAD THE SHOW IS. WHEN ACTOR DOESNT USE THE EXCUSES OH, THERES MORE SHOWS ON TV, WE HAVE A BAD TIME SLOT, THE LIve 7 PPL WATCH-YEAH NO HE MAKES ZERO EXCUSES BECAUSE HE KNOWS.

ITS THE STORY TIER. HE WANTS IT TO GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS WHERE HE HAD LESS OF A SHOOTING SCHEDULE. SO FOR THOSE THAT SCREAM MORE RED AND LIZ AH THATS NOT WHAT SPADER WANTS. HE WANTS LESS.] The Blacklist ranks 13th among the 18 issued by the North American station. But it was once one of the biggest audiences. [BUT IT WAS ONCE ONE OF THE BIGGEST AUDIENCES. RECALL SALKE SAYING THE BLACKLIST IS POPULAR OVERSEAS? RECALL ME SAYING WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE BAD WRITING SHOWS UP? When PRESS DO INTERVIEWS THEY GET TO VIEW THE SEASON EPISODES. THATS WHY THIS INTERVIEW HAS BLACKLIST ON ITS DEATHBED] The fourth season, currently on display in the US, debuted in September last year with 6397 million viewers. The most recent episodes were below five million. [A BLOW INDEED ALL BECAUSE OF TOM PIMPING, ARAM PIMPING, ELISE PIMPING ALEXANDER KIRK PIMPING, SARAM PIMPING KEEN2 PIMPING AND FINALLY PLOT DRIVEN STORY WITHOUT PIMPING THE THREE MAIN LEADS AS THE SMASH CREDITS INDICATE FOR A REASON: RED/LIZ/RESSLER. NO INTERACTION WITH THE MAIN LEADS REFLECTS THE RATINGS-THE WRITERS KNOW WHAT THEY DID THATS WHY THEY ARE SILENT AND SO DO THE ACTORS. CURRENT STORY DIRECTION SINCE 3B KILLED THE SHOW] A blow that has left the doubt in the air: will NBC cancel or renew the story? [TWO MILLION VIEWERS LOST AND COUNTING. EUROPE SENDING THE SIGNAL TO NBC AND THE SHOW:FIX IT]

Spader remains optimistic, and believes that what has so far kept this story on air "is a strange mix of things,” [HERE COMES THAT MASSIVE OAK TREE AGAIN JUST PLANT IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WRITERS ROOM OR ON TOP OF EISENDRATH'S DESK] including the fact that screenwriters are in Los Angeles [OMG WRITERS YOU ARE OUT OF TOUCH WITH THE MECHANICS OF NEW YORK AND OF COURSE BY THE TIME NY GETS THE SCRIPTS EDITS HAPPEN ADJUSTMENTS HAPPEN REGULARLY] and recordings take place in New York. “We do not even live our lives at the same time … [HE HATES HIS SHOOTING SCHEDULE DID I MENTION THAT? IF LA IS WRITING AT FOUR PM SPADER AND GANG ARE FILMING AT 7 PM OR 9 pm, OR TEN PM OR SIX AM OR 8 AM TO ACCOMODATE LOS ANGELES AND TO ACCOMODATE A SPIN OFF] The series is strange, sometimes surprising [SOMETIMES SURPRISING IOW HELL GET A GOOD SCRIPT LIKE CAPE MAY OR IN S3 IN MARVIN GERARD BUT MOST OF THE TIME ITS STAGNANT, PREDICTABLE AND PLOT DRIVEN] and intense, sometimes irreverent, [OAK TREE] sometimes passive [PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE] and still volatile.” [IOW IF THEY DO A 180 STORY FLIP BACK TO ITS As DIEGO SAID REGARDING S3 A MAGICAL FORMULA, NOT PLOT DRIVEN BS THE SHOW CAN LAST. BUT HE DOESNT WAX POETIC NOR DOES HE SUGARCOAT THE HYPE AND HE BRINGS UP IRREVERENT SOMETIMES? Yeah look it up. HES NOT HAPPY. ]

On the direction he would like to see the plot follow, [MAN I LOVE THIS YES JAMES WHAT PLOTLINE DO YOU WISH FOR BOKENKAMP AND EISENDRATH TO FOLLOW IM GOING TO GUESS ITS NOT KEEN 2 ITS NOT THE BABY, ITS NOT THIS ISOLATION OF THE LEADS AND HE NEVER MENTIONS RED AND LIZ NOTICE THAT?] the actor only says that “the most satisfying is when there is an abrupt change.” [ABRUPT CHANGE OR AS WE SAY IN THE INDUSTRY A 180 STORY FLIP. End KEEN2, SHAKE THINGS UP GO BACK TO RED/LIZ/RESSLER ENOUGH OF ARAM HES HAD THREE STORYLINES IN ONE YEAR AND TOM HAS HAD THE MOST EXPOSURE THAN ANY ACTOR COMBINED AND WHAT DID THEY GET? LOSS OF ADVERTISING 0.7! KEEP IN MIND IF TBL DEBUTS AT 0.8 ITS TOAST. It needs 1.0 TO STAY IN CONTENTION] “I think we’ve already been successful in that aspect and it was precisely these heights I most liked The Blacklist.”

[OY SPADER IS NOT HAPPY. FANS ARE NOT HAPPY ADVERTISERS AND NETWORK ARE NOT HAPPY AND NOW WRITERS ARE SILENT. FOR SPADER, ITS JUST A PAYCHECK NOW. BETTING ON RE WAS STUPID. GO BACK TO ORIGINAL STORY DIRECTION LIKE I SAID-A 180 STORY FLIP…SEEMS THATS EXACTLY WHAT SPADER WANTS: ABRUPT CHANGE AND IF THEY DONT DO IT AND LEAVE IT LIKE IT IS I DONT THINK HE WILL RENEW HIS CONTRACT BUT CONTINUE TO PLANT THAT MASSIVE OAK TREE .]

#theblacklist #jamesspader #Interview #Breakdown #TheWritersAdvocate #raymond reddington

[katefathers]

Kate Watches: Sherlock Series 4

I decided to wait for the entire series to air before I reviewed it, and considering this may be the final series I’m glad I did.

Overall, Series 4 was much better than the last. It didn’t have any episodes written by Stephen Thompson, whose work was always my favourite, and I don’t think a single episode passed the Bechdel Test, but it felt much more like Sherlock than Series 3. Unfortunately, it also felt like Moffat and Gatiss wanted to write James Bond.

In the first two series of Sherlock, it struck a really good balance between being a murder mystery show and a character drama. It was grounded, as while the primary characters did solve crimes (crimes that often edged in to extraordinary territory) they were largely private citizens living their lives. They weren’t held up as these incredible, singular, superhuman people. By the end of Series 2 Sherlock did gain some media attention, but it was framed as an anomaly. That kind of attention--that kind of status--was not the norm. When Series 3 aired, instead of returning to the established format, the writers decided to bring the character drama in to the forefront, and Series 4 continued that trend until the cases were almost an afterthought. And what mystery we did have no longer started as something simple--an average person bringing an interesting problem to Sherlock to be solved. Instead there were bombs, and spies, and politicians, and explosions, and drones, and a finale that felt like Sherlock Holmes-meets-Saw, and that is not the show I first started watching. It was not the show I was sold.

Honestly, I’m not sure why this happened. Did the writers feel like each season had to be bigger than the last? Did they think viewers expected Mission Impossible: Baker Street instead of a simple crime show? Personally, I didnt need the show to be more bombastic. I didn’t need Sherlock and John to be one step away from joining MI6. And I think the character drama would have been better served if the writers had stuck with their original approach and kept things simple. I’ve watched enough Moffat programming to know that he doesn’t believe that simple stories can be affecting, but they can be. The original Sherlock Holmes stories certainly were. Take “The Copper Beeches”, where it takes place in one location and with a small cast of characters and no one from the government gets involved. Or “The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle”, where despite revolving around a Countess’ missing jewel its fairly low-key and Holmes and Watson wind up solving the mystery through chance. If the character arcs were going to be so imortant, then they should have been given the room to develop properly. Don’t bog down your story with car chases and lengthy speeches by the villains. Keep the story intimate. Have the growth of the characters be clear. Just because a story is complicated doesnt mean it’s good, which is a big problem with Moffat’s writing. Clarity can be powerful. Tight writing with no plot holes is Good Writing 101.

In the end, that’s the biggest sticking point for me: the writers spent so much time on the emotional lives of the characters, but it still feels like they bungled it. Was John’s almost-adultery story really necessary? Was Mary’s death, and John’s becoming a single parent to an infant, not enough? Did we really need a “Save John Watson” storyline that resulted in Sherlock (again) turning to drugs? Did we really need to shoehorn in Moriarty when his story was over, and Eurus deserved more build up and a solidly established motivation? Eurus was clearly integral to Sherlock’s character, and yet we spent all of Series 3 on Magnussen and wasted two episodes of Series 4 on repairing John and Sherlock’s relationship which didn’t need to be broken in the first place. Personally, I would have scrapped the Magnussen storyline and made Eurus the villain of the last two series, just as Moriarty was the villain of the first two. Sherlock could have returned to his normal life in Series 3, and then slowly seen it disturbed. Mary’s death, rather than drive a one-episode wedge and revisit her concluded Series 3 storyline, could have been the product of an accident. Imagine the tragedy of having Mary survive an assassin’s life, only to die in a painfully normal way? (If she had to die at all, because the writers have changed things before.) It could have even been made ambiguous so you--and the characters--would, as the series went on, wonder if her death really was an accident, or if it was something planned by Eurus. Series 4 didn’t need to be so messy. It didn’t have to feel like it couldn’t figure out where to focus.

But for all the faults of Series 4, “The Final Problem” was probably the best episode. It was, at times, needlessly over the top and not a little ridiculous, but once we got to the meat of Eurus’ plan and her full backstory it really shone. The scenes with Eurus’ games were focused and tense, and the best was definitely the scene between Molly and Sherlock. The acting was fantastic, and it was a hugely powerful moment (in large part because Molly is a character we know, unlike the previous victims). My only quibble is that the consequences of this scene--and Molly’s character as a whole--were never resolved. Mycroft’s story was wrapped up, and we got to see where John was in the aftermath, but save for a brief glimpse of Molly at the end, there is nothing. Her story--and Sherlock’s--is left hanging. Honestly, while disappointed, I’m not surprised. As I’ve said, I’ve seen a lot of Moffat’s work, and the consequences of his plots are rarely explored, especially for female characters. Amy Pond had her baby stolen, and River Song was brainwashed, and neither of those things were dealt with. It’s sloppy, unsatisfying storytelling, but it’s what I expect. Both Molly and Sherlock (hell, and the audience) deserved a scene that at least implied a reconcilliation. It could have been completely visual to keep the story open-ended for those who didn’t read Sherlock’s “I love you’s” (particularly the second one) as a romantic declaration. Sherlock removes the cameras from Molly’s flat and collects them on the coffee table. He sits beside her. Maybe he takes her hand. Make use of the medium! Giving their scene closure would have gone a long way to fixing one of the biggest criticisms I’ve seen of the episode: that Molly was used as a tool to further Sherlock’s emotional growth. Treating Molly like the complete character she is--giving her a scene where her emotions are valued--would have helped immensely. It also would have given her more screentime, as Molly was criminally underused.

(For me, Sherlock and Molly’s relationship is actually one of Sherlock’s great missed opportunities. While their scene in “The Final Problem” was wonderful, had their relationship been given the right care and attention it could have been truly revelatory. Like Josh and Donna’s kiss on The West Wing, or Rose’s “Doomsday” declaration, it could have been the moment where everything moved from unspoken subtext to something the characters--and the audience--can’t ignore. True, that would mean giving Sherlock a romantic storyline, but Sherlock was already vastly different from its source material. I wish the writers had been willing enough to truly own it.)

Also, if Series 4 could have had fewer voice overs and stopped repeating people’s full names that could have been fantastic. It just got weird.

As a final series, Sherlock Series 4 was okay. It was confused and convoluted, and deviated from the show’s original format so much that I actively missed Sherlock’s visual deductions and the music that accompanied his cases. While it did have some really good moments, and some nice character growth, and the wonderful bookend of Lestrade calling Sherlock a “good man”, harkening back to “A Study in Pink”, it ultimately did not live up to the promise of the first two series. The final montage indicates that the show has reset itself, and hopfully if there is a fifth series, or even a special, we will see something close to Sherlock’s original format. But if this is truly the end, well, I think I’m okay with that.

Edited: January 19, 2017. Because I am perfectionist trash.

#Kate watches #Sherlock #Sherlock Series 4 #review #criticism #spoilers

[neuropathicgypsy]

Me: why did i have a dream that i was protecting a baby from my mom and I was so much about it, i woke up kicking my foot and yelling to keep her from going in my room?

Military Dude: you used to have a doll that you would practice protect ing but this particular girl you were protecting her and her mom from being killed by an abusive husband and you didn't trust your mom. She was angry, thought it was someone you wanted as your mom, not realizing you were home from school because you actually were saving people at 8 years old. I know this is particularly hard for you because you keep crying. But they want to meet you. Is that ok?

Me, tears rolling down my cheeks: yes

Military Dude: They dont know what yoive been doing in life. But this is your true success story. She became an advocate for domestic abuse victims and runs a shelter. Her daughter is a doctor. They're both married and had more children. I know you're tired and this may be the break you need. You think so, yes?

Me: i do. Matt needs help, too.

Matt: no im fine

Me: you're not but whatever

Military Dude: your anger at him is what helps you to be clearer on what you need to do, doesn't it?

Me: it makes me not cry. He holds me back a lot and its not healthy.

Military Dude: she knows a lot of tricks to help you with that. You know you defend alot of people with great success. So people dont realize how much help you need to defend yourself. Why is that?

Me: I can't defend myself readily. It does help,me,to see that people are bad and so when i see others being hurt, i know i need to help them because I understand they can't readily defend themselves.

Military Dude: why is the word readily? You don't have the power or ?

Me: no. If im not on the receiving end of help then how can,i really know i make a difference?

Military Dude: except they thank you.

Me: i have been defending myself a lot but its become a game to some

Military Dude: like don Schumacher and your mom

Me: i don't play that way. They know the truth and they cover it with poop but under the shit the truth peeks out

Military Dude: like a bone on the west mesa due to a series of events like a housing crunch and,a flood. And that's what you need, quite literally.

Me: im in a housing crunch. My mortgage hasn't been paid in 21 months and im at my parents.

Military Dude: yeah i hear you

Me: think my tears count as a flood?

Military Dude: and your anger. Im not going to get you out of there, that's not my job. Im just to see if you're viable to use a resource to seek comfort.

Black girl: yeah i know she is!

Me: how long do i have to wait?

Military Dude: IDK yet. But yesterday after you were crying in the car because your shoulder and neck hurt and you still can't work and do normal things and you're tired of your mom bullying you and pretending to be you and destroying everything she can, like its a game and asking for help. We decided to analyze your situation a little better because we aren't getting you.

Me: I'm quite simple, actually. Its others that are complicating.

Military Dude: we are from the DOJ so we will see what we can do, including dealing with your mom. Your dad sent her to the commissary and you said she would just look for guys to fuck and i assure you that she is. However i am not dealing with that. Its her ego that is in check but its not working. Why is that?

Me: thats all she is

Military Dude: evil ego. Nothing else?

Me: nope. She uses what she's punished with to punish others. She doesn't even understand the concept of why

Military Dude: shes just control. Is her evil encouraged?

Me: she encourages people to be evil. Like its the opposite of defense yet the same

Military Dude: so she's twisted it.

Me: yep. Don/Jennifer have been encouraging.

Military Dude: sometimes do you feel that acknowledging her evil is a form of encouraging?

Me: used to be that way but Jennifer has encouraged her that ignoring is ignorance and,it empowers her to be worse and worse

Military Dude: until you blow up and,start yelling and throwing shit?

Me: yeah. But my dad doesn't like it

Military Dude: is it effective?

Me: if only hate is applied constantly

Military Dude: but that's not your forte?

Me: i would have to kill her if i did.

Military Dude: is that why your dad told you to stop?

Me: yeah. But if i got rid of her body successfully would i be in trouble?

Military Dude laughs: don't ask me that, besides shes a large body to cook for the dogs and you can't stand or use your shoulders that long.

Me: don't disappoint my audiences! I can get help!

Matt laughs; shut the fuck up please!!

Military Dude: well our half hour is up.

Me: so that lady whose military husband abused her, she doesnt encourage cooking people?

Military Dude: probably is that ok with you?

Me: my thing is that i just want to be left alone! I don't want to deal with socio paths and ignorant people.

Military Dude: well my thing is she tried to tell you what to do and you told her you wouldnt listen and,find another subject then you went and did the thing she told you not to do! Then justified it with precise accuracy like a sharp shooter sniper. So how can anyone help you?

Me: a lot of money, listening (to me, especially Matthew and where it regards my kids)

Military Dude: not interfering with your curent flow of life.

Me: I desperately need my current flow interfered with. That goes under listening. Not interfering with what i say and want. Example: don't change all the hospital procedures because i want all mine done,at once. Let me,do it all at once. Example: dont,interfere with the flow of,truth. I keep complaining how I'm interrupted.

Military Dude: that's what i mean.

Me: jess gave proper diagnosis and solutions yesterday

Military Dude: why do you go to him? You're starting to cry.... Is he like snoop?

Me: snoop is great. He tries to cheer me,up. I guess the libra connection there works

Military Dude: jesse is Aries, the complete opposite, I see

Me: I'm,used,to always telling my mom my problems so my dad tells her how to,fix them

Military Dude: money. Is that,an obstacle for you?

Me: the biggest, hugest obstacle ever.

Military Dude: it would aleve alot of stress?

Me: HUGE!!! The kids always remark how calm,i am. But money tightens my chest ans i can't .... Paralizes me. Especially with the fact,i have asked,and asked for help so,i can help,eliminate some of my moms enormous ego

Military Dude: now that,was what i was asking. How to eliminate that!!!!