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#still funny tho
bagelb0nes · 1 month
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crossing over to the valley
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Times Caligula was probably fucking with people
I have a pet theory that at least some of Caligula's "madness" was really him being a huge troll and screwing with people, and that several incidents the ancient historians take seriously were shitty jokes taken out of context. From Suetonius, Gaius:
Wandering into emperor Tiberius' bedroom at night with a dagger, thinking, "Eh..." and wandering back out. (12)
Chucking money into crowds to make people scramble for it. (18, 26)
Telling people "I'm gonna fuck the moon." (22)
Getting into arguments with a statue of Jupiter. (22)
Constantly pranking his uncle Claudius. (23)
[Caligula's daughter violently attacks her playmates] Caligula: "Yep, she's definitely mine." (25)
Promising an exciting gladiator show and then swapping in old shitty fighters at the last second. (26)
Reminding people "I could kill you whenever I like." (29, 32)
Grumbling about how the empire was too peaceful and there was nothing heroic left for him to do. (31)
"Everyone reads Homer. I should ban him and see what happens." (34)
Leading an army to the coast, making them gather seashells as "spoils of war," then telling them "Treat yourselves!" on the tiny monetary bonus he awarded them. (46)
Practicing goofy faces in his mirror to freak people out. (50)
Invites three terrified senators to the palace in the dead of night. Jumps out from behind a curtain and does a song and dance number in drag. Refuses to explain. Leaves. (54)
Does not actually make his horse consul, but pampers it so much people said he wanted to. (55)
Taunts the praetorian guards with so many "sissy" jokes they get fed up and shank him. (56, 58)
When people heard he was dead they thought he was pulling a stunt. (60)
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listen. yes it's pretty frustrating but i think it's so funny how they had aerin be an official LI, made his route fuck so hard even previous haters wanted to fuck him, and then had him dip in the same chapter that he had sex with MC for the first time. and then he's just been gone like it never happened for 9 chapters and counting. like i know ill get death threats for this but i genuinely think this was one of choices' funniest moves. what was going through their minds. 10/10 no notes
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gregorybacon · 10 months
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You take Gregory too seriously draw him a teensy bit silly bro he looks way to scary and serious
????? Anon did you... send this to the wrong person......??
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I don't know what's your definition of serious and scary but I think he looks pretty silly to me...
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When Grover started clapping istg I thought he was gonna start singing Drive from the musical version and I snorted
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grayintogreen · 23 days
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@mareastrorum out here calling me out in front of my salad.
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hottdoggblogg · 4 months
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afanofmanyhats · 4 months
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Whenua: I think we're gonna have to kill this guy, Luke.
Luke: Kriff.
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maya-chirps · 5 months
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Becoming extremely disabled and housebound just a year before I was supposed to graduate sucks because every time I open up Facebook my entire timeline just makes me feel like this
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cemetaryvampire · 1 month
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dumb things I made
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Sexual joke under cut
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I’m shitting bricks these are fucking hilarious lmao
use with or without credit idrc
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hopeluna · 2 months
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Guess who's at the hospital rn
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futureless · 2 years
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our father, who art in heaven, baja be thy blast
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screwzara · 9 months
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So I died doing a Regalle delivery and-
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XD
Funniest death screen i've achieved so far
I'm getting stomped, my dheep baby s'more is upset
And the other two are just waiting to beat me up 💀
Hfjkdkfmkfmfd
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yanderemommabean · 1 year
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hello i just want to know one thing, which one(s) of your ocs will do this, many thanks and i hope you have a great day 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
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Do you really have to ask? It's Jasper. Like 100%.
-Mommabean
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the-bluestreak-cat · 4 months
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hand dyeing yarn is the closest thing to making potions as an adult
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a-bisexual-panicking · 7 months
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help I just found out that my mom (who doesn't speak english) thought that the song "Take me to Church" was about encouraging people to, well, go to church. I explained to her the real meaning and her face was epic.
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