#still like seeing people post tho!

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[madootles]

no one is more shocked than me about the fact that I’m back into fma a decade later

#fullmetal alchemist #I'm sorry but it holds up..... #I'm talking about FMA 2003 baby #FMA 2003 4EVER #it's so..... #!! #lowkey depressing as hell but still good #edward elric #he's so fun to draw I will be posting more #best proportions he's so petite lolllll #side note the automail was so fun to draw and color #satisfying #fma03 supremacy :-| #I really like how this turned out honestly v happy #art #automail #FMA #hopefully people will see this even tho it's 5 in the morning I was too impatient to wait to post

[azure-clockwork]

I love three houses discourse because I'm pretty sure everyone just picks their route based on which house leader they're the most gay for and then tries to defend their pick by pointing out the other sides's war crimes via twitter memes. Reader, all four of them do substantial quantities of war crimes. So many. We're just here because the woman with Issues and a big fuck-off axe said so, and then we gotta justify everything she did in the name of dismantling the class system. I mean, I'm here for that, but you could also try justifying Charm Man uses poison and perfidy to try to stop racism, A Sad Little Meow Meow gives no quarter instead of doing therapy, or the Thicc Pope tries to bring back her mom via human experimentation, depending on your tastes

#This is 100% swinging at a hell of a hornet's nest #Do I tag it? #Yeah fuck it we ball #fe3h #fe16 #edelgard von hresvelg #claude von riegan #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #rhea fire emblem #I should probably clarify that I love all of these characters quite dearly #Well except Rhea #I think she's a good character but I'm not feral about her like Edelgard or charmed by her like Claude or desperate to save her like Dimitr #discourse #edelgard discourse #Edit: I actually don’t care about 3H discourse either way lol #there’s plenty of interesting shit to talk about in this game #also I get that the people who say “x did war crimes” actually don’t mean “this was bad because it violated the Geneva Convention” #but any time I see something about how many war crimes someone did (usually Edelgard or Dimitri) I just think: #“Hah it’s a war crime to deploy Cyril to rescue Flayn because he’s still 14 then” #also I got into this game because someone told me ‘so there’s a gal with an axe and trauma’ and I booted it up #and I have a friend who likes Rhea despite his moral reservations solely because ‘she’s hot tho’ #and that’s also really funny #point is I don’t really wanna participate in most fe3h discourse cuz I have shit to do but this post isn’t meant to be a dunk on anyone #I’m not upset when I see it; it’s either funny or fine or sometimes right #I’m just gay for Edelgard and amused by the idea of applying the Geneva Convention to a world where it Clearly Isn’t A Thing

[whereismyhat5678]

Guys, the new year hasn’t started for me yet, I still got a few hours to go but I’ll mine-as-well make this post since I’ll probably go to bed anyways- 😂

First, I’d like to say

WE GOT A NEW BANNER LET’S GOOOOO‼️‼️‼️‼️

HELL YEAH! -I mean it’s just the characters but- HELL YEAH‼️‼️‼️‼️

SECOND. I want to show you something AMAZING and that something I’d never expect??

321 FOLLOWERS????

YOU GUYS ARE INSANE THANK ALL OF YOU SO MUCH MY GOD‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

It really makes me think how all of you guys really like and appreciate my art, and the fact that so many people encourage me to keep doing it, it brings me to tears! 🥹

Every one of you are the best thing in my life!! The first time I got Tumblr I started in:

March 30?? That’s insane- 💀

And the fact that I’ve improved SO MUCH is just INCREDIBLE!

You wanna see the FIRST drawings of Peppino??

YEAH THAT’S ME I DID THIS-

And you’re telling me that this was in what- THE START OF MARCH?? (Or February I don’t remember-) But this is just the PINNACLE of how much I’ve changed in terms in art style and experience.

I bring this up because I think Tumblr is the REASON why I improved so much! I experimented with brushes (digitally) and I found my brushes!! I learned how to EXAGGERATE AND ACTUALLY DRAW CARTOONY LIKE I’VE WANTED TO FOR SO LONG!!

(And NEVER took an art class. That’s fucking what- 💀 I need to take one I actually need to at this point-)

Also also also- I’ve learned a lot of things! Anatomy, exaggerative expression, stretchy cartooniness, ALL OF THESE ARE JUST- I can’t believe I’ve learned all this because one day I decided: “Maybe I should ACTUALLY get a social media for my art? 🤔” AND I DID IT AND CHANGED MY LIFE‼️‼️‼️

YOU GUYS CHANGED MY LIFE!-

My followers!- My mutuals/friends- I NEED TO SAY HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE ALL MY MUTUALS, ALL OF YOU 💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕

Everything about Tumblr has changed me in SUCH a positive way in not only terms of art but with how many people (TALENTED PEOPLE) I’ve made FRIENDS with AND ACTUALLY got to know!!!

I already said it but you guys are absolutely AMAZING and I just CAN’T FATHAM how much this year has just been a BLAST.

My mutuals:

@noodletime @moon9931 @marclef @margarita-the-pizzeria-worker @lucia-the-mii @lovestryke @lord-yiikes @ijusthavefun @linhfoxmoive @kate-bot @nomlioart @boogiestronic80s @zedortoo @jarroyave4637 @atlaslovesedm @alaskacoolkid1 @remaking-machine @average-amount-of-chaos @cherryxsapphic @dingle-dee @eyeballdrawer @tailsdollsnewlife @radaverse @gongustheawsome01 @fluffygiraffe @qwertykeyboard045 @w00den-h3ad @the-little-knight @oddpizza @misdreavusplush

(OKAY- I may have added some people on here that I think ARE REALLY COOL, I may not talk to you much but I’ve seen you guys like my art and I think ya’ll deserve to be on here 🫶💖✨)

AND IF I MISSED ANYONE PLEASE TELL ME I’M SO SORRY BUT JUST KNOW I LOVE ALL OF YOU THE SAME (Platonically) I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR AND HAVE A GOOD ONE 🎉🎉🎉

GOOD NIGHT TO ALL YOU LOVELY PEOPLE YOU GUYS MEAN THE WOLRD TO ME AND HAVE A GREAT NIGHT 💖💖💖💖

#HAPPY NEW YEARS‼️‼️‼️ 🎉🎉🎉🎉 #(Even if it hasn’t started for me yet- 😅) #For all the people I tagged I really hope you don’t mind- I seriously love you guys and since some I see VERY OFTEN on here- #And again for anyone I did not tag I appreciate you just the same 🫶🫶🫶 #MAN my art has improved- #If I did one of those art of the year thingys my art would look SO DIFFERENT you’d think that someone else did it- 💀 #I still like it tho- as much as I like how I draw Peppino now I still actually like how the first time I drew him #He looks silly and rounder- And I kind of like that- 😂 #I’m not gonna ramble as much in the tags since the actual post is- DAMN- #Still. Hope you guys have a wonderful New Year 🎊🎊 Gonna try and do the most in terms of art this year. And I can’t wait for this Tumblr’s #birthday! 😄🎉💞 #I love ya’ll so much. 💋💋 (If you don’t do platonic kisses hugs will do if you consent 🫶🫶)

[mimikyuno]

homura (after a whole movie dedicated to the mechanisms of her inner psyche and set in a world that is literally her subconscious, populated by little dolls that are the manifestation of her emotions and self-hatred, after a whole movie where we get to see that she loves and cares for her friends and above all she deeply loves madoka, after the most heartbreaking scene in the history of anime where she realises madoka never wanted to sacrifice herself, after sacrificing herself to try and keep madoka’s wish alive anyway and keep her safe from the incubators, after being saved by madoka and feeling undeserving of it yet again, after finally giving up on trying to preserve madoka’s wish and creating a universe in which madoka can be happy and her friends too and the incubators eat shit, after showing how much she hates herself for it): i’m evil! i’m a demon! i’m evil incarnate!

people: yeah that checks out, homura is evil.

#people see a traumatised teenage girl who hates herself and decide she’s evil. i’ll nevet forgive people who slandered her #especially that dude who made that video with over 1mil views about how homura was never a good person….. #i watched it years ago and it still makes my blood boil. i remember making angry posts here lol #it fueled me to make my homura defense video essay tho so. one good thing #UGHHH i’ll forever be so bitter about this tho. like u have 0 media literacy skills. #madohomu #madoka magica #homura akemi #pmmm #mine

[sesamenom]

maglor's first time getting to go to a concert / his favorite singer attending maglor's first big concert

#silm #silmarillion #maglor #i didnt feel like inventing a name for the band so their name is just Band in tengwar #im pretty sure band means something in sindarin anyways (as in angband) #btw i have decided the band guy is named #moredhel #hes a feanorian and later a captain of maglors guard in the Gap #and yes he still dresses up like mandos for the bonus intimidation factor in battle #maglor's horses are the least easily spooked in all of beleriand because his army is half singers and all very screamy #only a few of them do the full feanturian look tho #it's very effective because everyone is scared of mandos #ranging from the people who actually know him being somewhat weirded out by his whole prophecy thing #to people who only know his reputation being absolutely terrified #maybe theres one feanturian warrior who specifically dresses as one of irmo's maia #and who specializes in those weird Songs that make people see the events of the song #ooh maybe moredhel survives to the third age and lives in rivendell #he doesn't normally wear the feanturi makeup anymore and basically nobody born post-darkening remembers feanturian-emo/goth subcultures #so when he does put the feanturian mask and makeup on half the house starts screaming about mandos #elrond unfortunately has to deal with it #at least he's causing less trouble than ''''Lindir''''

[spacedlexi]

people who think clem surviving makes no sense are so funny. "they were literally foreshadowing her death the entire season" let me introduce you to the concept of a red herring. she tells lilly she isnt lee and shes right. the narrative was forcing her down that path, a path she saw as an inevitable fate waiting to take her too, but its a narrative broken by aj, who is also his own person and not S1 clem

"it happened to lee, and itll happen to you" lilly tells clem she'll die protecting aj from some mistake he makes, when in reality his defiance of her will is what saves her life after she had already accepted her fate. he breaks clem free from the lee cycle and they get their relatively happy ending. good for them

#anyway in the commentary they talk about how they Were going to have a death ending but didnt like the idea of the good/bad ending #and how people would moreso try to avoid the 'bad end' which i understand and appreciate bc thats usually what happens #so instead they gave us both :) idk why some people seem to have such a huge problem with that #they broke the cycle :) the ericson kids broke the cycle by being a loving community :) they all break the cycle by refusing the delta #lilly and minnie were both lost to the cycle. lilly with her dad and minnie with lilly #minnie couldnt let go. clem almost did the same and it would have killed her too. but aj makes a Choice and it saves her #god even tho clem is noticeably happier in s4 shes still so gd depressed and Tired. she accepted it so fast im so glad he saved her #like idk you saw her come back on screen after that massive fake out and you got Mad?? i was crying twice as hard #i know ive made this similar post before but like i still see this criticism in 2024 and i just have to laugh now #it speaks #twdg #i just love the narrative threads of S4 bro.... seasons 1 and 4 are two sides of the same coin and i love that. its satisfying

[anonymocha]

are you gonna be there with me?

taco bell commercial song got me dyking

#and of course i project it to this motherfucker #Medicine Pocket #reverse 1999 #reverse 1999 fanart #mochadoodles #LETS EAT YUH YUH #found this song in a lesbian breakcore mix but GIRL it aint breakcore 😂 #still rocks tho #10/10 got me imagining an unholy relationship between a vampire and a huntress in a secret relationship #with guns #femme4femme type beat holy shit #sorry the tags are not related with medpoc im having a moment here #but if the song dont have lesbian undertones i would’ve not liked it THIS much 😭 #that is a single piece of plain bread w nothing but possibly mold on it btw #i posted this during the day on purpose so not many people see it oop #next up: King Princess's PAIN remix cover #this gay ass post got shadowbanned what a day to be alive #/pos #that means im doing it right

[cherrykano]

the things i would do for a short about how kabru would outsmart the shapeshifter… it’s such an interesting premise to see his most notable skill used against him

#immediate ‘this action will have consequences’ moment with no actual consequences :( #it’s still cool seeing how mithrun’s view of other people was impacted by the demon tho #dungeon meshi #kabru #mithrun #rare chanah text post… kinda hoping a fan work like this will find its way to me LOL #dungeon meshi spoilers

[theshadowrealmitself]

I actually love Vulcans’ self control and I love it when they’re portrayed as very purposely composed and level headed, like there’s just something about them appearing emotionless because they put in so much effort and discipline into it

But I do love jokes about the small things getting to them, like they’re perfectly in control of themselves after getting hit with some weird pollen while everyone else is affected but then later on you do a stupid lil pun and they have to walk away quickly so they don’t show any emotion

#I do ‘you’ because it’s how I write #but recently someone used one of my prompts to do one of those Vulcan x read*r posts #(censored so people actually trying to find that type of posts aren’t accidentally seeing this post instead) #and after that I’ve been aware of how my posts can kinda feed that kind of demographic #I also have to remember to reblog that post!!! #I’m so happy someone got inspired by one of my posts #I just want to read it first to make sure there’s no warnings I need to tag for just in case #having a hard time tho because I really don’t read 1st person pov y’know? #but I’m still so happy that person liked my post enough to use it for their writing!!!! #I also have to remember to look at their pronouns #Vulcans #Star Trek #do I tag humans? are humans the only one with puns?

[selenealwayscries]

fuck you *puts your fairydog in hanfu*

#mcyt #last life #last life smp #trafficblr #rendog #ldshadowlady #fairy fort #. yknow what ill tag this as #fairydog #as well even tho that tag is populated by val and dust at this point #anyways . my hanfu agenda going well as you can tell #i wish i have more canon excuses to draw block people in hanfu tho #like its fun to headcanon stuff but its still more exciting to get canon content of something . if that makes sense #id die for mote asian rep in mcyt spaces o(-( like not just ccs either #i want more non asian ccs to take inspirations from asian cultures . build asian architecture inspired bases #heck . write lore with asian myths and folk legends as inspiration #as long as you do research and do shit respectfully i know at least 5 people who would literally throw parties over them #anyways if yall see me reblogging hanfu posts youll know why #anyways anyways . my bones are killing me so goodbye #catgirl supreme

[rosekasa]

my self esteem has gotten to a point where i know i like myself but im pretty sure literally everyone else hates me

#specifically like. people who follow me on instagram #EXTRA specifically my close friends list #it's just weird because i dont think im doing anything that annoying i literally just talk about my life and post selfies #but sometimes i think the people who see that kind of thing everyday are like ok ENOUGH #🥹 it's not logical but still #not gonna stop tho #♡alizeh talks♡

[sugarsweetvirgo]

Daily reminder that Kaiba suffers from extreme lucid nightmares due to his penalty game

#no because imagine literally waking up from a nightmare about you dying over and over #and your first thought is “This chick better not tell anyone istg” #thats Kaiba. and his massive ego #After Battle City i don't think he'd get them as often though because he technically moved on from everything? (DSoD be damned) #But he still does occasionally. and when he does Eve is there to comfort #Even if its difficult to comfort a 60ft narcissistic ego fueled Kaiba #Eve does the little toy squeak sound when she's squeezed btw. Little freddy fazbear nose noise #fun fact i actually did this so i could see how far i could press Kaiba's expressions instead of the usual smile/frown #I also promised like 3 people angst and even tho i hate posting doodles i try to deliver #ssv #smallartist #traditional drawing #seto kaiba #oc #yugioh au #traditionalart #giant/tiny #yugiohoc #oc x canon #bondshipping #sugarsweetvirgo #gt fluff #gt community #light angst

[todayisafridaynight]

what makes minedai even sadder is that we never rlly see daigo try to build a bond with anyone else like he did with mine it rlly shows how badly it effected him like yeah he reached out to shinada in y5 but that’s rlly it and he probably would wanna leave him alone after that and not involve him in any yakuza stuff so i don’t think they would’ve hung out or anything like that afterwards. All he rlly had were saejima and majima but they were more like babysitters than anything, wish we saw more of their dynamic tho like we did with majima and daigo in dead souls since that was fun and we were lowkey robbed but in canon he’s just as lonely as he was before majimas promise to kiryu. And mine is the only person he really had a meaningful relationship with romantic or not they were still really close and we don’t see that again with daigo ever (from what i recall after y3) ok sorry for rambling LMFAO

even with shinada, he reached out to him more so out of 'duty' and trying to make up for the misfortune that befell him because of yakuza than wanting to rekindle any kind of friendship they might have had in high school (though it sounds more like they were just acquaintances if shinada needing a second to remember who daigo was is anything), so yah i doubt they really had any kind of bond afterwards

dead souls really was the only time after Y3 where we got to see daigo be more sociable with someone, but its as you say majima and saejima are more like retainers than close friends

#snap chats #you can tell i was into fire emblem when the first term that comes to my mind to call majima and saejima was 'retainers' omfg #but yeah ..... depressing .... #does make me wonder who daigo was on the phone with during the rggo story though. like clearly daigo has friends #apparently. we just never see or hear of them. tho ig it is implied those were his friends from the y2 era. as mine said flarkjla #REGARDLESS yeah after y3 daigo just feels depressing to watch #i think its just because he really has to do everything on his own now #but not even have a friend to just chill with at the end of the day- like the technical work is whatever. for the most part #THATS stressful obvi so to not have anyone to really be personable with thats probably the dire part. imo. #cause yk the world could suck but as long as you have that One Person to just relax with then its ok but with mine gone. 🧍‍♂️ #probably doesnt help that like. during the 'flashback' segment of y3 where we get to see daigo sitting with kiryu and nakahara #we see him all cheery and bein a lil jokester and just. A Happy Dude #granted this is barely a year or two into being chairman so The Horrors Havent Set In relatively but still ... i miss his smile .. #every time i think of daigo post-mine i think of those like. tragedies or accounts of people where its like #'after X's friend/lover died they never found another again' like thats the vibe i always get #he really packed it up and never got close with anyone else again and it makes me want to throw up #y4 widow arc still good tho it makes me chortle

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

alright. know what? with Secrets of the Obscure right around the corner and plenty of new Mists-related sky island settings coming with it, I'll just bite the bullet and interest-check a little something I've been turning in my head for a long, long while.

would YOU be interested in a Mists-based GW2 roleplay guild that uses a lore compliant multiverse system to allow canon, canon-adjacent, lore-breaking, and otherwise 'contradictory' muses to coexist in the same setting?

simply put: every writer's cast would be set in their own self-contained universe. as such, everyone could bring whatever muses they want with their own personal headcanons, and no one could dictate what is or isn't canon for anyone else. so long as your muses are GW2-based, you're good to go! bring your Commanders, bring your canon-divergent OCs, bring your canon muses-- and yes, even the ones that are 'supposed' to be dead. who can say what might have happened in a strange world far across the Mists, after all?

neutral hubs and in-character safety guardrails would be in place to keep all muses on a relatively even playing field regardless of their power, history, and prestige, too. play hardball if you like, but it might not end quite the way you'd hope. the main rule would be to maintain good OOC etiquette at all times: no godmodding, no metagaming, no theft, don't blend IC and OOC, and so-on.

if that sounds like something you might have interest in, please interact with this post! and if you've got questions or concerns, I'd love to hear them; feel free to send an ask or a DM, or just reply to this post!

#GW2 roleplay #GW2 rp #GW2 #my posts #so there's a LOT of reasons why I'm putting this forward #but the biggest is that I really want there to be a place that's actually inclusive for all the creativity that exists in this fandom #there was exactly one Mists multiverse event a while back and it was well-received from everything I saw! #i know i for one had a lot of fun AND felt a lot more welcome and comfortable than i have at any other event #and then... we proceeded to just never have another again. #like. we could have more of that. that niche could still use filling! we can do SO much more with this!!! #and especially with SotO coming out we could have some REALLY interesting locations to meet up too! #I'd be happy to kickstart this stuff but the thing is: it WILL need support. I just can't do it all alone and that's a fact #example: if we want a guild hall in-game we'd have to work together to get one; that'd be great for hosting public and private events #my personal goal is 5-10 participants so that we can have enough to run small events and mingle muses a bit #IF there's enough interest i'll roll out more information at that time. for now tho i'll just leave it at this to test the waters #reblogs are HIGHLY appreciate here: i'm a smallfry in a big sea and not many people check the tags. spread the word if you want to see this #on that note: thanks for reading and hopefully i'll hear from some of you soon. o/ #(side detail: that sky pic is a screen i snapped at night in Istan. it's so pretty there ok)

[disgruntleddemon]

people talk a lot about how Mapleshade shouldn't have tried to cross the river during a storm, but tbh Bluestar shouldn't have taken her kits out in a blizzard either

#warrior cats #this isn't a post about me having a problem with either of them to be clear #more so people criticize Mapleshade for things they don't in other cats #like i don't really blame her for lying about Birchface #really what choice did she have? #what choice did squilf and leaf have about lying? #honestly tho Bluestar could have asked Thrushpelt for help or something lets be real #and Sunstar overlooking her as a choice cause she has kits is dumb as fuck #also ppl say Mapleshade should have waited but tbh she was just exiled and panicking #and seeing as Frecklewish was right behind her i really do think there would have at least been a confrontation #i'm not even a freckle hater but i do still think it would have happened