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sshbpodcast · 3 months

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Tasha Yar vs. Ro Laren: Fight!

By Ames

We’re taking a quick break from our normal character spotlights because I just couldn’t justify doing individual articles about either of these characters, but when I realized I could discuss both of them, I got a little carried away. So welcome, one and all, to the Enterprise-D’s contest between its two resident badass bitches. Your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By needed to know – who wins? Tasha Yar or Ro Laren?

This calls for another Big Board (seen previously when we ranked the Trek films and Star War films)!

To determine this as fairly as possible, we’ve designed this competition and discussed it at length in this week’s podcast episode (jump to 50:53 for the boxscore) to score our two contestants against each other in eleven categories. Not every battle went as we thought it would, there are surprises in store, glavins to be thrown, and the occasional double-cross to keep things interested. Ready? Fight!

Some major spoilers for Picard are below and discussed on the podcast, if anyone cares. Shrug emoji.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

1. Childhood History

Yar: If there’s one thing (and one thing only) the writers knew about Tasha Yar when writing her character, it��s that she grew up in a failed colony full of rape gangs. Which she brings up all the time. Like, way too much. We see a brief glimpse of it in a flashback in “Where No One Has Gone Before” and yeah, it does not look fun. Basing a character around horrible trauma for no good reason is just the kind of thing the season one writers did, for better or for worse.

Ro: Ensign Ro arrived when the series was much more established with a much more established history that made for the background of the episode “Ensign Ro.” The whole concept of Cardassia-occupied Bajor came along with her introduction, and the story that she tells about watching her father get tortured to death by Cardassians was the complex foundation that this show (and others!) found worthy to explore.

Winner: Ro Laren. The story of the Bajorans ended up being such a major seed for all of DS9, while the established rape gangs of Yar’s childhood only ended up getting entirely contradicted later in “Legacy.” Speaking of which…

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2. Pre-Enterprise Backstory

Yar: Picard tells Tasha’s sister Ishara in “Legacy” about the first time he saw that woman who would later become the chief of security on the Federation’s flagship. He encountered her rushing to rescue a colonist on a Carnelian minefield. Picard was so impressed that he immediately requested that she join his crew, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Ro: We learn that Ro had a very different standing in Starfleet before her reluctant posting to the Enterprise-D in “Ensign Ro.” Apparently, she got eight crewmen on the Wellington killed due to disobeying orders, and was given the choice between going to prison or performing a mission for the definitely corrupt Admiral Kennelly. Hell, Picard’s first impression of her was basically “I don’t want someone like her on my ship.” Lucky for us, he eventually came around!

Winner: Tasha Yar. These two couldn’t be more different in standing within Starfleet when we first meet them. I’ve got to rule that anyone who piques the interest of Captain Picard is worth a point in this category.

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3. Friends

Yar: Tasha seems friendly with pretty much everyone on the ship! Worf plays Parrises Squares with her in “11001001” and he even bets on her for a martial arts competition in “Skin of Evil.” We see her borrowing clothes from Troi in “The Naked Now.” And it’s all the more clear that she leaves an imprint on all her friends’ lives when she leaves final words for so many crewmembers after her death in “Skin of Evil.”

Ro: On the other hand, Laren is so much more reserved and particular about who she chooses to spend time with. It’s so significant that Guinan decides to befriend her in “Ensign Ro,” and we see more of their dynamics together in “Rascals.” There was also something hinted at between her and Riker when he says in “The Next Phase” that he wants to deliver her eulogy, but we never get to see what that was.

Winner: Tasha Yar. Clearly she has a rapport with so many of her shipmates in a way that actually affects them deeply and personally, as we’ll see in a moment with Lt. Commander Data.

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4. Pets

Yar: We see in “Where No One Has Gone Before” that at one point Tasha had a kitty whom she cared for and kept safe from the rape gangs on Turkana IV. Surely, that cat was probably the only good thing going for her through her traumatic childhood.

Ro: None we’re aware of! Your loss, Laren!

Winner: Tasha Yar. This podcast full of cat people has deemed it so! We can’t not spread the love to fellow cat parents, so the winner here was a given.

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5. Romantic Interests

Yar: I can cite that really hot scene with Data in “The Naked Now” as much as I like, but when you think about it, both of them were under the influence at the time so it’s a little bit squicky. And while it’s clear in episodes like “The Measure of a Man” and in the series Picard that it was meaningful to Data, for Yar, it was just Tuesday. However, the truly lovely romance that we see for her comes in the alternate timeline in “Yesterday’s Enterprise” where she gets to make googoo eyes at Richard Castillo, and we are here for it!

Ro: Similar to that caveat above with the drunken Data, we have to put an asterisk on Laren’s romance scene with Will Riker in “Conundrum” because they were both amnesiacs at the time. Again, there’s something not fully consensual about the thing because they don’t have all the information to know what they’re doing, no matter how much chemistry they have together.

Winner: Tasha Yar. If it had just been a Data versus Riker battle for this category, I’d be uncomfortable making a call because of the lack of the ability to consent involved in both. But that budding romance between Yar and Castillo actually holds meaning for her and we ship them hard!

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6. Fighting Prowess

Yar: Here’s where we start to put up our dukes in this competition. As chief of security, Tasha clearly kicks some ass. We see this many many times in “Code of Honor.” She drops Lutan’s bodyguard Hagon like a load of bricks in their first meeting, displays her combat skills in the holodeck for the Ligonians, and finally wins in the combat ring against Yareena without killing her. Points off, however, for getting utterly destroyed by Armus in “Skin of Evil,” but we’ll get to that in a minute.

Ro: While phased in “The Next Phase,” we get to see some killer moves from Ro when the phased Romulan confronts her. She sneaks through a wall and gets the jump on Parem, a chase ensues which leads to a fistfight. And while we may have misremembered Ro being the one who threw the guy through a bulkhead (turns out, it was Geordi), she still holds her own and kicks some phased butt!

Winner: Ro Laren. Okay, so we’ve established that both of these women are badasses, so which of them would win in a fight? Put that way, we’ve got to give it to Laren because she’s Maquis and may be more likely to fight dirty. Catfight! Meow!

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7. Command Skills

Yar: I bring up this category mostly to talk about some missed opportunities on both sides! Ro and Troi were the obvious choices for who should have taken charge while dealing with the matriarchal society in “Angel One,” but Riker walks all over them because it turns out all these bitches needed was a man to tell them what’s what. C’mon! This should have been Yar’s show and instead she relinquishes command.

Ro: Similarly, there’s a power vacuum during the disaster in “Disaster” and Ro is this close to mutinying against Troi who is utterly flailing and refusing to make the hard choices. Ro is there and making the right calls for the situation, displaying that she has the nose for command should the situation arise, but frustratingly, nothing comes of it and she has to apologize to Deanna at the end (even though she was right!).

Winner: Ro Laren. After we later see Troi pass the command test by killing holo-Geordi, it stings that much more that we see how right Ro was when she advocated sacrificing the engineering section, so the point goes to her for being willing to make the tough calls.

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8. Ethical Stands

Yar: Oh boy, the most up on her high horse we see Tasha get is in the infamous scene with Wesley about drug addiction in “Symbiosis.” The whole scene reeks of Nancy Reagan’s war on drugs and the scene feels forced as hell, like an after-school special somehow invaded an episode of Star Trek. And ya know, the messaging was perfectly clear without Yar spelling it out with a heavy-handed “say no to drugs, kids” speech.

Ro: We do give Ro a lot of credit for coming clean to Picard in “Ensign Ro” after that chat with her new bestie Guinan. Ro’s more obvious display of standing up for what she believes is her joining the Maquis, even though it gives Picard a sad in “Preemptive Strike.” BUUUUUUT! Somehow all that gets undone in the Picard episode “Imposters” when she has apparently rejoined Starfleet, shitting all over that big moment of character growth. Oh Laren, you’re making this one tough!

Winner: Stalemate. Sorry, but we’re going to have to give half a point to each since we could not agree on a winner after that episode from Picard really ended up complicating things (as I’m sure Chris refused to cut from our discussion in this week’s podcast episode). We’ll see in a moment how this affects the overall competition in the Verdict section…

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9. Strategy & Tactics

Yar: This category was meant to be a catch-all of miscellaneous things the characters have done, and it really made us realize that the tactical officer rarely makes decisions that are particularly… tactical? Yar and later Worf seem to get punked whenever they try to do anything. In both her confrontations with Q, she gets knocked out – frozen in “Encounter at Farpoint” and sent to the penalty box in “Hide and Q.” Is there really anything else worth mentioning? No, really. I’m asking. Comment below.

Ro: We see Ro in fewer episodes than we see Yar, but she at least gets to attempt to do some things. Her plan to use the unmanned Bajoran transport to trick Kennelly in “Ensign Ro” was pretty ingenious. While it’s a good idea to try to knock out all the aliens possessing crewmembers’ bodies in “Power Play,” she does miss Data entirely and her little scheme is foiled. And finally, she and the other child-shaped folks in “Rascals” outthink some Ferengi, low bar that that is.

Winner: Ro Laren. This was an easy win for Ro because, frankly, Yar just plain doesn’t get to DO much in her season of Trek, and when she does, she gets Worfed (before Worfing was even a thing!).

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10. Death(s)

Yar: A character so nice they killed her twice. There is still much controversy over her death in “Skin of Evil” because it’s so abrupt and pointless, but that was the point. Is that a good or bad thing? Aside from her nice post-mortem message, we’re barely affected by it. Her sacrificing herself in “Yesterday’s Enterprise” would have been an excellent resolution to her character… but that seems sullied by the knowledge that she survived, was kept as a Romulan concubine, and then killed when baby goddamn Sela ratted her out, as established in “Redemption.” Dang, Yar can’t catch a break.

Ro: This one’s tricky because it does mean we have to dip into the Picard series, which we haven’t been doing for other characters in our spotlight series because we haven’t covered it on the podcast yet. Say what you will about the myriad character deaths in Picard (and we can, have, and WILL), but Ro’s death fighting the conspiracy in “Imposters” is a pretty good place to resolve her character. She resolves some character stuff with Picard, uncovers a huge Federation-wide plot, and goes out in a blaze of glory. Is there a better way to go?

Winner: Ro Laren. Especially for a Picard death, Ro’s character resolution actually feels earned and not like the writers picking and choosing who lives and who dies just for shock value (*cough cough* Ah cHugh *cough*).

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11. Personal Style

Yar: Ooh la la. That hair in “Haven.” Get it, girl. We don’t see either of these characters out of uniform very often, so it’s in little personalizing elements that we get to see their own style, and Yar sure knows how to doll herself up for a wedding-planning dinner. I’ll also give a couple nods to that outfit in “That Naked Now,” though I’m pretty sure it’s alluded to that Yar yoinked that from Troi’s closet.

Ro: Ro’s defining stylistic feature is her big Bajoran earring, which she defiantly wears as a statement of heritage, culture, and a big F YOU to Riker, and we like that about her. Her little headband that we see in “The Next Phase” and “Rascals” is a little funny since it’s so matchy matchy with her uniform, so it might be a wash. I’m also gonna say the undercover garb we see her sporting in “Preemptive Strike” doesn’t count because that was for a mission.

Winner: Tasha Yar. Did we include this category just so we could give heart eyes to that great hair pouf from “Haven”? Yes. Yes, we did.

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Verdict

That’s 5.5 points for Tasha Yar and 5.5 points for Ro Laren. We have a tie! We really weren’t expecting this, though I must admit throwing Yar a few bones (and cats) since I really thought Ro would run away with the whole thing. Even when we tried to agree to stop citing plot elements from Picard so that we could pick Ro as the winner of the Ethical Stands category, then we’d have a stalemate in the Deaths category and we’d STILL have a tie.

So what does that mean for us? Sure, we can continue to claim that Ro Laren is the better written character from a strictly story perspective (and Michelle Forbes of course is a stellar actress), but she also has the advantage of joining the show after the writers’ room chaos of the first couple seasons had sorted itself out. If Tasha Yar had been given that same chance (as we glimpsed in something like “Yesterday’s Enterprise,” we’ve just proven she’s got the potential and backstory to go toe-to-toe with one of our favorite recurring characters from TNG. You go, girls!

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So our big fight set piece ended with both combatants sort of hugging it out, which seems the Star Trek way! We’re back to our usual character spotlights next week with a character that bridges our trajectory from TNG to DS9 (and it’s not O’Brien!). So join us for that, continue listening along to our Enterprise watch-through on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, do the wave with us over on Facebook and Twitter, and punch like a girl!

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spectraspecs-writes · 1 year

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Now I don’t know much about brass or woodwind instruments, but I’m pretty sure that Jonathan Frakes is not actually playing the trombone.

#the next phase #star trek the next generation

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data2364 · 1 year

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via Trekcore.com

LeVar Burton (Geordi La Forge) and Michelle Forbes (Ro Laren) 1992 in Star Trek: The Next Generation "The Next Phase”

https://data2364.wordpress.com/2018/10/15/daily-star-trek-15-oktober-2018/

#Star Trek #Star Trek TNG #Michelle Forbes #Ro Laren #LeVar Burton #Geordi La Forge #The Next Phase #So nah und doch so fern

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theretirementstory · 1 year

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Bonjour et bienvenue. It’s another sunny Sunday here in Bar-sur-Aube, 19c expecting 21c so perfect for whatever I plan to do today.

Friday evening I was in town to see the Halloween Parade. I spotted people I knew, my physiotherapist, some of my refugee ladies, my old mechanic, his wife and daughter plus the staff from the Maison Pour Tous. I called into the little supermarket in town and they had a basket of sweets ready to distribute to the children. It really is lovely to see.

What a day yesterday!! I went into town bright and early to buy my fruit, vegetables and newspaper, my head was feeling even woozier than it has been for the last couple of weeks, so I just returned home instead of calling for a coffee. I got home and was baking, macaroon topped mincemeat tarts ready for Xmas, a mushroom tart, which I was going to have for my lunch, I was preparing cake topped stewed rhubarb and planned on making a lemon drizzle cake. Anyway, ate some mushroom tart, was on the phone, when suddenly the pain and pressure in my ear forced me to touch my face and 😳 it was swollen, huge behind my ear and the pain was going up the side of my face. I came off the phone and was in a complete tizzy, thinking all kinds of terrible things. I saw my neighbour was at home so went there to ask what I should do! By this time my head was pounding, I felt I couldn’t see properly and when they suggested going as an emergency to the hospital I asked if someone would take me (couldn’t trust myself to drive). Anyway long story short…. we had to ring 15 (Urgence) I gave my surname and the man at the other end said my first name (do they pick that up from the phone number?) after finding out the problem he put me through to the on-call doctor. Fortunately, I know her and was able to speak in English. We were told to go the the surgery and she would see me. I quickly packed a bag (well better to be prepared). Blood pressure and temperature were ok and she concluded that it could be a blocked salivary gland. Anyway, I am going for blood tests (yes again) on Monday (hopefully), just to check it is nothing else. My neighbour brought me home, called early evening to see that I was OK and then this morning his wife came round to check I had had a good night and was feeling ok. How very kind 😁.

One of my refugee ladies delivered her baby on Monday 17th, she has called him Martin. I messaged to see if she was ok and was surprised that he had arrived, as hospital had said she was due in November. She said he has had the hat and bootees on, I really must finish stitching up another hat for the lady who was expecting a girl. I imagine she has had her by now too.

Pauline messaged and gave me the name of the roofer who replaced her grandmother’s roof. I rang and left a message, then I sent a message. He rang me the following day and said he would call to have a look on Friday, guess what he did too! I asked if it was a big job and one guy (spoke some English) said it wasn’t. Hopefully the price is right and it will solve this problem once and for all!

Didn’t get my cake made last Sunday and mid afternoon Anie rang to say she had a pumpkin for me and would call round. I quickly took cheese scones and coffee cake out of the freezer and they were all defrosted by the time she arrived.

Called at the Social Security office (again) to check to see what to do with the “bon de transport” for my trip to Nancy. Until my Carte Vitale is re-opened I cannot book a taxi….. I need to stay calm and just hope that all is resolved by the first Thursday in November (otherwise I may just have a meltdown!)

This coming week, the lady who is going to clean my home, will be arriving for the first time. She is coming at 9am so I had better set a few alarms so that I am up and ready for her. It’s just to help me out and knowing me I will probably do half if the work before she comes, but it will just make things easier and will mean I can get outside more 😉

So when you are in such a tizzy it is nice to be able to wander around the garden checking out all the beautiful plants still flowering. I have (fingers crossed) taken some cuttings of œillets and coleus. I cut the grass, I love it when it is just done. I checked on the peonies in the pots, although there is not much to show at the moment there are some shoots just under the compost so I am hoping for grand things from them next year. I ❤️ my garden……

My granddaughter went to her first football match yesterday, Scarborough v Spennymoor. Unfortunately, “The Daddy”and her had to leave at half time as it was too noisy for her. I am sure she will go to another match at some point, it was nice that “The Daddy” took her.

Wow, things are stepping up for “The Paralegal” now too, he is about to embark on the next phase of his life, he is excited (he is not the only one) although it’s a big leap into the unknown. Well we all have to make a leap at sometime, which is something I have tried to instil into my children. We all love the comfort of “familiar” but it’s great to start to write a whole new page.

So this week I have chosen a poem which is described as, to be recited to relieve stress/anxiety.

An excerpt from Up-Hill by Christina Rossetti

“Does the road wind up-hill all the way?

Yes, to the very end.

Will the day’s journey take the whole long day?

From morn to night, my friend.”

Bon dimanche!

#barsuraube #photography #baking #autumninaube #halloween #the next phase

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ionomycin · 11 months

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Swim free

#artists on tumblr #character focused pieces are harder for me than backgrounds #been trying to practice it more this year #i think there's some progress? maybe?#what's with this undersea phase i'm having #the next piece i'm already working on is staying on theme #although i'm going back to my comfort zone #in the good old eldritch monsters section #on your left you will see some soft lesbians kissing #on your right an ancient undersea horse monster older than time #i think i need to combine these two somehow........

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toxooz · 1 year

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i love a man who is the living embodiment of mnt Everest

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theminecraftbee · 7 months

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to everyone in my notes on the decked out trophies post going "scar won????" incredulously, i am delighted to inform you that scar is actually one of the most competent decked out players. like he also got really lucky in several of his runs and was focusing on winning the phase to an extent no one else was this early on, both of which contributed to his victory. but like. all statistics indicate that he's an extremely solid player, despite every goofy reaction, scar-ism, and predicted ridiculous death. and it's beautiful.

#decked out 2 #hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #is he on hypno or etho's level? probably not #i'd probably place him next to grian or iskall honestly #but like. he's EXTREMELY SOLID and the fact he likes winning phases so much makes him a contender #because bragging rights is more important to him than better deck

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startrekvsfaceapp · 2 years

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#star trek #faceapp #riker #william riker #commander riker #ro laren #ensign ro #next generation #the next generation #star trek the next generation #tng #star trek tng #the next phase

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ew-selfish-art · 7 months

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Dp x Dc AU: Bruce has a 'if you can't beat them, join them' mentality about the tabloids claiming he adopts too many kids- Developing foster homes that are paid for through the Wayne inheritance, personally vetted by the Bats, they're the leaders in the space for child health outcomes and family placement. Insert Danny.

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Bruce has too much wealth, too many rumors and not enough reach into the abhorrent foster homes around Gotham to improve them. Tim ends up being the one to suggest it- He's the one who buys up their real estate for their safe houses after all- and Bruce is more than ready to pull the metaphorical trigger to get new clean welcoming spaces, Bat-background checked fosters and a new era of adoption in Gotham underway.

He's lobbied the state and the federal government for reforms of course, but this is a project he can micromanage. He spends time with every kid that comes through, talks with all the families that want to adopt and makes sure that these miniature homes are provided only the very best. Alfred personally hires all the staff, and with Barbara more than happy to help relocate the unhoused children she spots while they patrol, the project is a glowing success.

Occasionally, spots in their houses fill up, and those are the weeks were Cass takes on the Cowl of Batman- Bruce Wayne will personally invite a child in need to his home. He always has one of his kids present (they rotate on a pre-determined schedule) and he does his best to try and get them to understand that they deserve the world, have all the potential that anyone else has and can achieve a bright future. That he will personally aid them in their ambitions.

PR goes crazy for it of course, but Bruce and all of his children know its genuine. Almost too genuine, because a betting pool 'WILL THEY BE ADOPTED' regularly circulates between the siblings and the entire JL when someone spends time at the manor. And not just the black-haired, Blue-eyed kids get picked as favored outcomes- but obviously the running joke gets passed around.

It's a Thursday night when Bruce gets the call that the houses have once again filled up, and that there is a child in need of a home. The social worker (he knows her as Marsha and he has flowers planned to be sent on her birthday next week, like he does for all of his employees) (Say micromanaged one more time) explains that the kid is a bit cagey but has opened up with some humor. She explains that he has a few strange... mannerisms. She's not sure what to make of him, a non-gothamite for sure but something is, well, distinctly 'not from around here' about his energy.

Danny arrives at the house, meets Duke and Alfred, and by the time Bruce meets him at the dinner table it seems as though Marsha had it all wrong. This kid was laughing, he was teasing, he was totally playing along like he'd gone through nothing. Bruce is glad he's in high spirits but its just so... so different from all the other children he's taken in.

Bruce re-focuses on the conversation when Duke mentions something flashing, and its the first time that Danny goes quiet. Entirely still.

"...you noticed that?" Danny quietly asks, a bit of disbelief in his tone.

"You don't have a flashlight on or something do you? It was super bright whatever it is that you had in your hand a second ago?" Duke tries to sound chill but he's looking very much not chill. Bruce saw nothing, and that puts him further on edge.

"Look... I uh, I've been though... I've been through a lot lately. And the last lab I was in kind of, messed with me. I'm normally much better at dealing with it all, I promise." Danny sounds nervous, and the room seems to chill.

"Ah shoot, sorry." Danny notices something and frantically apologizes.

"Sorry for what Danny? You've done nothing wrong but I am worried about you- You said you were in a lab?" Bruce is desperately trying to calm him down while not slipping into Batman interrogation mode.

"Uh, yeah, like a lot of labs. It should get warmer in a second, its just cause I startled, I promise."

"You're a meta." Duke speaks softly and with hope in his voice- Danny is looking between them with wide eyes filled with fear.

"I mean I don't technically have the gene-"

"Danny, have you told any of your case workers where you were? Do any authorities know what you've been through?" Bruce needs to know, desperately, that who ever gave this young boy super powers is brought to justice. Danny goes quiet.

"I'm really sorry." He says softly, but he doesn't leave them.

Duke and Bruce try to ask a few more questions but the silence that meets them declares the conversation over, even with Duke admitting he himself is a meta. Danny didn't even look up from his plate. They watch a movie after dinner, and Danny seems to get back to the smile-y happy guy he had been before dinner.

Each of the bat-fam have their own interactions with Danny- And even if they're getting along amazingly, Danny won't open up. He doesn't open up to his provided therapist. Doesn't talk to Alfred. No one knows what's up.

So when Marsha calls Bruce back explaining they now have a spot for Danny and he can move out of the Manor... Bruce replies that he'd like to get started on Adoption paperwork, so long as Danny is fine with it.

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Turns out, Danny is fine with it. he's both the newest Wayne and their newest case. (And godamnit, his new family is going to avenge him. If only he'd let them try.)

Danny figures out that Duke= Signal early on because of that dinner, and if he's going to keep his parents out of jail, he needs to be as close to the investigation as possible. He knows that he shouldn't protect the Fentons, but he feels the upset in his core at the thought of letting them befall any harm. He has to protect them. Has to protect Jazz and her hiding spot as a mole within their lab. Has to.

Even if it meant lying to his new family who loves him, and who he loves in equal return. Even if it means lying to The Bats.

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Tabloids go crazy about the black-haired blue-eyed thing of course, but no poll was ever taken by the batfam or the JL who know the whole story.

#Danny has his powers destabilized by the various lab experiments but he's slowly getting control back #Duke notices Danny phasing his hands through the table/silverware by accident- it just looks like slight of hand tho #Danny figures out the bats and the best he can do is get adopted #friends close and enemies (lol not really) closer #dp x dc #dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp #danny phantom #dc crossover #dp crossover #long post #dc x dp fic #please i beg of you- write the other siblings interactions #someone tell me why I left Jazz to sabotage their parents and what to do with her next #jazz looking at danny who now has every possible resource to save them and not using it like- my guy #danny's core working against him like stockholm syndrome basically #like his protected them for this long so now he feels compulsion #danny gets adopted au #bruce adopts danny au

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sshbpodcast · 5 months

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Character Spotlight: Geordi La Forge

By Ames

Our tour through the Enterprise-D wouldn’t be complete without a dive under the door to engineering, so join A Star to Steer Her By for this week’s character spotlight as we take a look through Geordi La Forge’s schematics. There’s a lot to love about The Next Generation’s chief engineer, probably the greatest being the portrayal by film and television legend LeVar Burton. In any other actor’s hands, Geordi just wouldn’t be Geordi.

But sometimes, Geordi can really just be way too Geordi, as you’ll see as you read on below for our best and worst La Forge moments! Let’s just say, he’s a character who makes remarkable friendships throughout the show, and he really should leave all his relationships at that. You can also adjust your VISOR frequency to our corresponding banter over on this week’s podcast episode (discussion at 1:17:39). Now get ready to tuck and roll!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Prepare to initiate separation sequence When La Forge is left briefly in charge of the ship in “The Arsenal of Freedom,” he is almost immediately put to the test by the planet’s defense system, and he keeps his cool even while receiving constant backtalk from Logan. It’s one of few instances we see the saucer separate as well, allowing Geordi to make use of the battle bridge to save the day!

Elementary, my dear La Forge One of the highlights of all of Next Gen is watching the friendship between Data and Geordi take shape and grow, and early on we get some great moments of them playing Holmes and Watson together on the holodeck in “Elementary, Dear Data,” which is undoubtedly sweet. Extra kudos to La Forge for putting up with Data’s shenanigans when he’s got all the stories memorized too.

Have you tried turning it off and on again? It’s always a joy getting to watch the engineers do their whiz kid stuff, and we get a good taste of that in “Contagion” when Geordi is inspired by Data randomly restarting himself and uses that as a launching point for wiping the Yamato’s records out of the Enterprise as well. It’s Information Technology 101, and he does it so well!

The best piece of engineering we’ll ever need Speaking of great engineering feats, La Forge does it again in “Booby Trap” when he concocts the purely manual solution to get out of the literal booby trap. Because the issue is with the computer, he opts to turn the whole thing off and have Picard pilot through the debris field himself. All you gotta do is ignore some of the weird holo-Leah stuff and it’s quite brilliant!

I will be your eyes Somehow, all of La Forge’s platonic relationships hit some really high marks, and he forms enough of a trust with Bochra in “The Enemy” that the two are able to survive on Galorndon Core. You’d never think humans and Romulans could find common ground before, but when these two find that they need each other, you think there might be hope yet.

Computer, identify the source of this shadow Geordi has another very nice friendship with his old crewmate Susanna Leijton in “Identity Crisis,” but the most impressive part of this episode is the great sleuthing that he does with some video tapes and the holodeck to determine that there was more on planet Tarchannen III than met the eye. In fact, there were otherwise invisible transfigured rave apes!

A blind man who never would have existed in your society Appropriately, we saw Hannah Bates’s actress in our podcast coverage this week in “Two Days and Two Nights,” and that makes it a good time to bring up that Geordi totally schools her biologically engineered ass in “The Masterpiece Society.” He uses his VISOR to save the day, something no one in their colony would ever have because of their ableist views.

BBFF: Best Borg Friends Forever As with his bromance with Bochra, Geordi connects with another unexpected being in “I, Borg.” Indeed, it’s the engineer’s ability to humanize even the least human, most frightening enemies that proves to be one of his best qualities throughout the show. Watching Geordi remind Hugh of his individuality, give him his name, and save him from Picard is the best of La Forge.

Are you saying I'm some blind ghost with clothes? Speaking of forging friendships, La Forge shared a very clever plot with Ro Laren in “The Next Phase,” and it turns out the two of them work together splendidly! Not only do they confront what could easily be interpreted as their deaths, AND find an ingenious way back to the correct phase, but they also foil a nefarious Romulan plot. Oh dear, what would Bochra think?

The Titan’s Turn Boys We picked on Riker the other week for how he acted when Jellico had command of the Enterprise in “Chain of Command.” But you know who took it like a champ and did his damn job? Freakin’ Geordi! He helped Jellico with the solution to their Cardassian problem and even used his friendliness and good nature to get him to involve that whiny Riker to pilot the shuttle.

They see me rollin’, they hatin’ Whenever a chief engineer gets to roll under a slowly closing garage door, you know you’re in for a good time. It happened in “The Best of Both Worlds,” critically one of the best episodes of all of Trek. But an even better roll is in Generations in which Geordi gets a perfect score for the pirouettes and for sticking the landing in a great pose, all while saving his whole engineering crew!

I’ve never seen a sunrise Finally, let’s close out the Best Moments with just a small detail from Insurrection. While we must admit that the rejuvenation storyline on Ba’ku wasn’t terribly well fleshed out, the character who really gets something out of it is Geordi. When his optic nerves have regenerated, he gets to enjoy a sunrise the natural way for the first time, and it’s tragic because he knows it won’t last.

—

Worst moments

This is why you wear PPE Who’s keeping count of how many times “The Naked Now” or “The Naked Time” has come up in these character spotlights? Well, in the case of the TNG spinoff, you can thank La Forge for catching the Psi 2000 virus in the first place by handling a corpse with no protective equipment. And am I the only one it rubs wrong that he spent the episode complaining about being blind?

An adversary capable of defeating Data Here’s another shipwide problem that was basically Geordi’s fault. With his imprecise wording, he effectively made the computer create Moriarty in the holodeck in “Elementary, Dear Data” and we see the repercussions of his mistake throughout both that episode and “Ship in a Bottle,” which I’ve already given Picard some guff about.

Their rubber band broke, right? La Forge starts the abysmal “Samaritan Snare” off on the wrong foot from the word go. He makes fun of the Pakleds pretty much to their faces, which is uncomfortable on its own. But he simultaneously underestimates them, assuming them to just be dopey but affable instead of dopey and malicious. Getting kidnapped by caricatures makes for a pretty rough day.

That’s a Coco No-No! It begins. Why the show decided Geordi had to be weird with women is beyond us, but it starts with his weird date with Christy in “Booby Trap.” He takes it way too personally that she’s not that into him on their date and gripes about it to Guinan afterwards. And that’s not even mentioning the rest of this squicky episode that sets Geordi up as the incel of the franchise.

Hold the Broccoli Despite La Forge generally being a friendly guy and a good boss, the way he treats Barclay when we first meet him in “Hollow Pursuits” is downright shameful. Throwing around the disparaging nickname. Complaining to Picard whenever he has to be in the same room with him. Overall treating him like a leper. Not great boss behavior.

I’m guilty of a terrible crime, Doctor. I offered you friendship. There’s good reason for “Galaxy’s Child” making our Worst Episodes of TNG list, and that’s that it entirely besmirches the character of Geordi La Forge. It’s one thing to get a little action with holo-Leah, but it’s another to expect the real Leah to treat you the same way. And then to turn it around so it’s all her fault? Nothing on our Best Moments list makes up for this railroading of an otherwise good character.

Even in a La Forge post, O’Brien must suffer Geordi just plain wasn’t having a good day in “The Mind’s Eye” and it’s full of bad behavior that can easily be blamed on the brainwashing, but blame we will! Manchurian Candidate’d or not, Geordi La Forge was capable of killing the simulation O’Brien at the command of some Romulans, and later dumping his drink on him in real life… but that’s nothing new to the chief.

A century out of date Okay, so it’s plain and true that Montgomery Scott was entirely underfoot and a bit of a hindrance for the engineering crew in “Relics.” But it’s also so sad to watch our resident miracle worker from The Original Series get treated like an obsolete dunsel. Geordi is prepared to ignore the old engineer until the captain takes him aside with another of his patented Picard pep talks.

I'm starting to feel like I know her If falling for a holodeck version of Leah Brahms wasn’t creepy enough for you, don’t worry, Geordi can go lower. In “Aquiel” he falls for the eponymous character by watching her personal logs, ostensibly for an investigation, but then when he hooks up with the murder suspect when she turns out to still be alive, no one can doubt that he’s taken it too far. Like freakin’ always.

How do you feel? We already saw in our spotlight on Lt. Commander Data that installing the emotion chip in Generations was a bad move. Geordi does promise to his android friend that he’ll remove the thing at the first sign of trouble… which happens at the most inopportune time right as Geordi is busy getting kidnapped by Klingons. This guy. Always getting kidnapped and reprogrammed, he is.

This is the exact spot where your statue’s gonna be One more from the movies, and that’s that Geordi gets to meet one of his heroes in First Contact… and immediately creeps Zefram Cochrane out by fanboying all over him. Word of advice, Gordo: if you’re already messing with the Temporal Prime Directive, maybe don’t start talking about going to Zephram Cochrane High School to the guy.

The Butterfly-in-the-sky Effect We get even more temporal shenanigans when Geordi gets a brief cameo in Voyager’s “Timeless.” Sure, LeVar was also busy directing this one so it’s a no-brainer to pop up on a viewscreen while he’s on set, but it also just feels weird for one of our past heroes to be the one browbeating our current heroes to stop their super cool time adventure. What a Herbert.

—

Well, our beach violinist has absconded and our Coco-no-nos have run dry, so we’ll wrap things up here. We’re wrapping season one of Enterprise over on the watchthrough on SoundCloud next week, so get ready for us to tear our hair out trying to think of highlights from that before we’re back on course with more TNG character profiles. So keep your VISOR pointed here, stay in the friendzone with us over on Facebook and Twitter, and watch the sunset with us over the bay.

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sp0o0kylights · 1 year

Text

Adopt a Jock Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Shoutout to @bloomingconflagration for the title!!! And a HUGE thank you to everyone who left comments or gave suggestions!! I love you all you amazing, silly humans <3 <3

There comes a time during a long work shift were your average overworked and underpaid employee starts to think they’re hallucinating.

In Gareth’s case, it was when Steve Harrington walked through the doors of Palace Arcade, making a beeline right for him.

“Gareth?” Steve asked, like he was the one out of place. “What are you doing here?”

As if people just randomly stood behind the counter of retail and entertainment spaces with a nametag on.

You know, for fun.

With a great deal of restraint, Gareth managed to hold the sass back, instead opting for a far more polite; ‘I work here, Harrington. What are you doing here?”

Because no matter how much Hellfire had adopted Steve into its fold, Gareth could just not see the guy choosing to spend his free time at the local arcade.

Not of his own free will, anyway.

“Pick up duty.” Steve said, proving him right not even a second later.

“Of what?” Gareth asked, puzzled, right before Steve’s name was shouted in stereo.

A miniature stampede took place as several children proceeded to swarm him like oversized puppies, most of them trying to talk at once.

“One at a time, we talked about this!” Steve barked, loud enough to be heard over the commotion. “You’re giving me and Gareth here a headache!”

He waved his hands in a “calm down” gesture, shaking his head and looking at Gareth in exasperation. “Probably giving the people in the video store next door one too, lord.”

“Wait.” A curly-haired kid said, looking between the two older teens like he was watching the laws of the universe rewrite themselves in front of him. “You know Gary? How?”

“We are not close enough for you to call me Gary.” Gareth said dryly, for what felt like the fifteenth time that day.

This was a regular battle between him and the kids who haunted the arcade.

(One had overheard Grant call him Gary the last time he was in, and ever since, every single child that graced this fine establishment with Cheeto-dusted fingers and candy-induced sugar rushes had decided to replace his actual name with his nickname.

The fact it clearly frustrated him only egged them on. )

“We go to school together Dustin,” Steve said, as if he were talking to someone particularly dense.

“Yeah? You go to school with lots of people. You bitch about most of them.” Dustin fired back.”Plus Gary’s a total nerd. I bet you call him names.”

"Hey, language!"

Gareth’s eyes narrowed as he glared down at the little fucker. He was definitely going to remember Dustin (and equally going to watch and see what arcade games the younger teen played-- and top the score chart of every single fucking one.

He might be a nerd but he wasn’t gonna take that shit from a middle schooler.)

“Hate to break it to you brats, but your babysitter here just joined our D&D club.” Gareth replied, if only to finally one-up the little bastards. “Our DM is building him a character as we speak.”

(Which wasn't even a lie. Eddie was building a character for Steve. The guy just refused to give any input on grounds that he "wasn't going to play anyways." )

Abrupt and sudden silence, as several stunned faces stared at him.

“Oh goddammit.” Harrington cursed, as the entire herd of children turned on him in unison like some kind of hivemind horror monster.

“You joined the D&D club,” Dustin said slowly, outraged. “And you let them make you a character sheet, but you won’t play with us!?”

“What the hell Steve!” The sporty-looking one whined, clearly hurt. “You won’t sit in on our games! You said they were lame!”

“They are lame.” Steve defended immediately, pushing at sporty-kids head. It was fond though, the kind of gentle shove an elder brother gave to a younger one. It caused the kid's camo banana to fall into his eyes, which he adjusted quickly with a grumble. “Turns out the high school version’s cooler.”

“He’s lying.” That from the bitchy one, whose arms were crossed over his chest, a glare on his face. “Steve probably paid Gary to say that”

Gareth had seen that exact same stance on Steve at lunch that day, and wondered if the little asshole knew who he was copying when he did it.

“Who cares about D&D?” This from the redhead, standing with another girl giggling in her ear. “I’m just amazed Steve has friends.”

“Really Mayfield?” Steve said, looking almost betrayed. As if he thought she was going to be the one to defend him in this weird little showdown.

The girl leaning on her giggled harder, making Mayfield grin (even if she tried to hide it.) She whispered something, which the redhead outright laughed at before repeating; “Adult friends even!”

“Okay.” Steve said, clearly cutting the kids off before they could embarrass him further. “Thank you, unwanted peanut gallery, for all of that lovely commentary. Now go back to playing the games you little shits robbed me of all my quarters for, or we’re leaving.”

Henderson’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you were here to pick us up?”

“Oh I’m sorry, did Jonathan magically appear behind me in the last five seconds?” Steve turned around pretending to search the parking lot through the windows. “No? Then I guess we’re still waiting. Unless you, Lucas and Max want to leave first.”

“You’re such an ass.” Dustin huffed, rolling his eyes. “Why aren’t you waiting in the car anyway?”

“It’s raining, it’s cold, and I thought I’d come in to say hi to my friend.” Steve replied, so quickly it took Gareth a moment to realize what Steve referred to him as.

He'd gotten the friend title before Eddie.

His best friend was going to fucking freak.

“Are you done drilling me or are you going to let Max kick your ass at DigDug again?”

“Shit!” Henderson cursed, spinning to intercept the redhead as she bent to put a coin in said arcade machine. “Max, you said you’d let me keep my leaderboard score today! Max!”

“I know you said you watched kids, but this wasn’t exactly what I was imagining.” Gareth said, slumping against the counter.

(He'd been thinking of Steve watching much younger kids for one, and two, he was starting to get the idea the babysitter thing was used as an insult.

Gareth knew a big brother vibe when he saw it.)

Steve gave him a tired look. “Me neither man. Me neither.”

Then; “You fucking owe me for that D&D comment, they’re never going to shut up about it now.”

Gareth winced. “Sorry. I was trying to help.”

Steve blew out a breath. “I know. I appreciate the attempt.”

Which was better than Steve bitching at him for it, not that he’d really ever done that to Gareth.

The two of them hadn’t quite worked up the nerve to be playful like that with each other, though they had occasionally jumped in on opposing sides to arguments Eddie caused. Gareth figured they’d get there in time, but even with all the progress Steve made, he still had more off days than on.

It was a fragile line to walk with him. Especially when there wasn’t a single member of Hellfire who wanted to ruin the progress they made.

(Even if half of them would never admit to it.)

“Steve?” A voice interrupted, quiet in a way that contrasted directly with how loud the rest of the brat pack was.

Steve closed his eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose with his hand as if to starve off a headache.

“Yes, Baby Byers?” He asked after a long, painful pause, turning to look at the saddest looking kid in the bunch.

“Is there actually a D&D club at the high school?”

The kid looked at Steve like he wasn’t entirely certain he wanted to hear the answer, but was hopeful for the outcome he wanted anyway.

It was the kind of thing that pulled even on Gareth’s heartstrings, and he was almost immune to anything involving giant, sad eyes after a solid year of working at the arcade.

(Never mind Eddie’s own puppy dog looks.)

Steve’s voice gentled, in a way Gareth had never quite heard him use before. “There is. You’d love it, it’s called Hellfire. I’m sure it’ll still be there next year when you come in as a freshman.”

He nudged him with his shoulder playfully, smiling when the younger boy perked up. “If you’re nice, Garebear here might even put in a good word for you.”

“Garebear?” Max repeated with a burst of laughter, appearing behind Steve like a fucking ghost. “Oh my god.”

“No.” Gareth said, bolting upright from his slouch as he stared at her in horror. “Do not call me that.”

“Sure thing, Garebear.” She outright cackled, as Steve sent him a wide-eyed, apologetic face.

“What did you just call Gary?” The sporty one--Lucas, asked, a wide grin overtaking his face.

“I swear to God.” Gareth threatened, as Steve took another dramatic look over his shoulder.

“Hey look Jonathan’s here!” He yelled, jerking a thumb over his shoulder as he started quickly walking backwards. “Come on, dipshits, we're leaving!”

“Bye Garebear!” Lucas and Max sang together, following after him.

“Harrington!” Gareth howled, as Steve mouthed ‘Sorry’ over his shoulder, all but bolting out the door.

“I like Garebear a lot better than Gary.” Another, random child informed him with a grin as he sauntered past, arcade tickets in hand.

Steve Harrington, Gareth decided, was a dead man.

Not even Eddie’s fucking crush on the guy could save him now.

xXx

“Did you know Harrington has a literal pack of kids he watches?” Gareth asked a few hours later, messing with his drum kit as he set up for band practice. "He even drives them around."

More than that though--he’d seemed almost normal around them. That was the most Gareth had seen the guy banter or act relaxed since Eddie had dragged him over.

“He’s mentioned it multiple times.” Grant replied, tuning his bass. “You have ears Gareth, use them.”

“Gareth? Listen?” Jeff teased as he dragged an amp into the garage. “I don’t think I’ll live to see the day.”

"Oh screw you guys.” Gareth growled, winging a drumstick toward his friends for the insult.

Grant, long used to Gareth's tantrums (and Eddie's dramatics) didn't look up from his bass.

Not even when the drumstick hit the wall with a bang!-- allll the way near the opposite end of the couch, entirely opposite of either him or Jeff.

"As usual, your aim is dead on." Jeff appraised sarcastically.

"Like I'd ever actually hit you." Gareth grumbled with a pout. "I was gonna say the kids are older than I expected."

He reached down, blindly fishing for another drumstick from the bucket of them next to his kit.

He came up empty.

"Hey Grantman." Gareth asked, tone changing to something mildly embarrassed. "Could I uh, could I get the drumstick back?"

He got a flat stare back. "No."

"What did I do to get stuck with such dramatic friends?" Jeff joked as he began moving all the amps he’d pulled in back into their usual places.

They hadn't had time to unload anything other than the drums after their last show and the regret was real.

"Eddie’s been standing on tables since seventh grade, you knew what you were getting into." Gareth fired back, making grabby hands for his drumstick.

"And you never grew out of being that dorky middle schooler who snuck into Hellfire games and screamed we were all going to die every time anyone made a bad play." Jeff shot back. "Yet here I am, once again wondering if I should just permanently confiscate Eddie's snacks, your drumsticks, and now Harrington's fricken spatula."

"One year. I am one year younger than you and you act like it's an entire century!" Gareth muttered, as Grant relented and leaned over to fetch said drumstick.

"We all know Eddie chucks food at people, but what'd Steve do with a spatula?" Grant asked as he tossed it back to Gareth.

He missed and nearly took out a cymbal in the process.

"He had a snit while we were making chocolate roulade cause it wouldn’t roll right. Flung the spatula around so much it splattered whip cream on his ceiling." Jeff shook his head as he finished hooking an amp up to his guitar. "I had to rescue it from him."

"His ceiling?" Gareth said in disbelief. "Wait, you were in Harrington’s kitchen?"

"Yeah?" Jeff looked up to find his friends staring at him.

Grant blinked. "The fuck?"

“Can we just play?” Jeff complained, just as embarrassed as Gareth had been.

“No.” Gareth said, retrieved drumstick nearly falling from his hands in shock. “You don’t get to casually drop that you went to Harrington’s house to help him bake and then try to get us to play right after!”

Jeff, who had done exactly that, blushed, skin darkening as he fiddled with his guitar.

“It wasn’t a big deal.” He said finally with a shrug, as if this was something he did all the time and not the groundbreaking revelation that it was.

“Did you meet his parents?” Grant said, sitting up from the couch. “What did his house look like?”

Jeff finally gave up the pretense of playing his instrument.

“I didn't, and it was kinda sad, actually.” He said, as if he didn’t live for this kind of shit.

Gareth knew better than anyone how much of a fricken gossip Jeff could be.

“His house was enormous. I only saw the first floor, and his kitchen is huge.” He set his hands apart at a good distance, showcasing just how large “huge” was, before continuing.

“But it was weird. It was like a model home. No pictures on the walls, no art, no personality to the place at all.”

“What are we talking about?” Eddie asked, finally returning to Gareth’s garage from where he’d been gathering up all the wires they’d thrown haphazardly into his van.

“Jeff went to Harrington’s house.” Grant and Gareth tattled as one.

“To help bake stuff for this Friday!” Jeff defended, the blush creeping back onto his face. “I was curious about his chocolate roulade recipe and he invited me over!”

“When was this?” Eddie asked, staring at Jeff like he’d grown a second head.

Or more likely, Gareth knew, in jealousy. But he wasn’t going to call Eddie out on that just yet.

“Yesterday. We got to talking about it in the parking lot after school.” Jeff said with an embarrassed shrug. “He said he wasn’t the best at explaining how to do things and that he’d rather show me instead.”

“Kinky.” Grant deadpanned, making Jeff sputter.

“You sure you didn’t see his bedroom, Jeff? It’s okay if you fell for the ‘wanna see my music collection’ line. We won’t judge you.” Gareth waggled his eyebrows, ducking with a laugh when Jeff went to whack him.

“Shut up, we just made the chocolate roulade!” Jeff’s ears were red now, and huh, maybe Eddie wasn’t the only person with a crush.

“Guys.” Eddie reprimanded, tone warning.

“Sorry Eds, you know we don’t mean it.” Gareth soothed. Of course, his best friend's anger was less about the gay comments or Steve’s reputation as Hawkin’s man whore than it was about Steve fucking Jeff (and not Eddie) but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be appreciated if he pointed that out either.

Eddie didn’t respond, eyes already back on Jeff. "Details, Jeffery, give us the details!"

He dropped onto the couch, flapping his hands at Jeff in his version of a "sit down" gesture.

Jeff sighed, but repeated what he'd just said for Eddie as he took a seat on the edge of an amp, placing his guitar down gently.

"I think Wayne was right. I don't think anyone else lives there but Steve. Not full-time anyway." He finished.

Which sounded like the best fucking thing ever until Gareth thought about it for more than two seconds.

Tried to imagine what his life would be like if his parents and siblings were gone. Not for a day, or even a weekend, but always.

How silent his normally loud house would be.

Thought instantly that he'd be inviting Eddie, his friends, and hell, l even Wayne, over as often as they could handle.

"The way he looked when I showed up, and how quiet he got when I left I just…" Jeff fiddled with his guitar’s strap. "I think he's lonely."

The four of them sat in silence for a long moment as they digested that.

“Hargrove kicked his ass right? And Byers?” Grant said finally, breaking the silence ad he stared up at the ceiling.

“Old news.” Eddie replied absently, jiggling his leg.

“You think his parents were around for that?” Grant continued, slowly.

No one answered outside of Eddie's leg loudly jiggling faster.

"Did you see the kids hug him or anything?"

"They're like thirteen. I seriously doubt they're pestering Steve for hugs." Gareth answered flatly.

"So he got his ass kicked, his parents are gone, he was supposed involved in that whole has leak thing…" Grant trailed off with an air of someone who expected the end of his sentence to be obvious.

“You’re doing that thing again where you think what you’re saying is obvious and its fucking not.” Eddie grumped. "Just spit it out."

His friend's head finally tipped back down from the ceiling, to face the rest of them. “Maybe the flinching is because no one ever touches him anymore unless it’s to kick his ass.”

“Oh.” Eddie blinked, body going rigid. “Oh shit.”

“That…would make sense. A lot of sense.” Jeff said slowly.

Grant put on a face that read “Duh” loud and clear.

“So what do we do about it?" Gareth asked after a moment.

"Touch him, obviously." Grant replied, like he couldn't believe the drummer was even asking.

Gareth and Eddie shared a look while Eddie rolled his eyes.

"The guy almost fell down the stairs last time I tried that." Gareth pointed out.

Never mind any other time Steve got weird over the lightest of touches. Eddie couldn't even clap the guy on the shoulder without getting major side-eye.

"No." Eddie cut in, sitting up suddenly. His eyes had gone bright, "We're going to trick him into it."

"We're going to trick Harrington into being okay with, what? Shoulder pats?" Gareth echoed, like Eddie might hear himself if his words were repeated back to him. “You realize how stupid that sounds right?"

"Shut up, listen. It's like getting a stray to trust you. You just gotta be calm and so obvious about it that they get confused and let it happen." Eddie had begun practically vibrating, causing his friends to trade uneasy glances.

They knew that look. Eddie only got it when he thought up a plan that was going to cause problems.

"Eddie, that makes zero sense." Jeff told him.

Gareth just shook his head, because only Eddie Munson could compare Hawkins golden boy with a fucking stray animal.

Even if the guy kinda acted like one sometimes.

"I just need an opening." Eddie continued, the little hamster wheel spinning in his head so fast the rest of the band could almost hear it.

If Gareth had been told two months ago he was going to be sitting in his garage, discussing the best way to acclimate Steve Harrington to casual touch, he’d have actually smacked whatever idiot dared spew such nonsense with his drumsticks.

"I did tell tell the kids today you were making him a D&D character." He said, before his best friend could truly go off on some half cocked plot.

Eddie lit up like a kid on Christmas. "Gary, I could kiss you."

Gareth made a face. "Please don't."

He clapped hard before springing to his feet. "Huddle up boys, I've got a plan."

"God help us all." Jeff muttered.

(He huddled up anyway, any thoughts of playing guitar that night fully forgotten.)

Bonus:

"Why don't you just get high and watch a movie with Steve? You're a fucking cling-on when you're high." Gareth complained the next morning, when Eddie swung by to pick him up for school.

Mostly because the plan Eddie had come up with was ridiculous.

Eddie took both hands off the wheel, pressing them against his chest in mock offense while he stared at Gareth and not at the street. “That would be taking advantage of him and I, as a gentleman, would never." He gasped, dramatically.

In his normal voice, he added: "Plus it doesn't count."

“Eyes on the road!” Gareth yelped, swatting an arm. “And you know I didn’t mean it like that. People relax more when they're high and maybe Steve needs something like that as an excuse to allow it. Hell he doesn’t even need to be high, just you.”

Which Gareth personally thought was a very insightful thing to say, so of course he had to ruin it with; “or whatever.”

"Do you recall how you kissed Jeff on the cheek when you were high and then spent the entire next month swearing up and down that you weren't attracted to men last summer?"

"That was different. I was discovering myself."

Eddie outright cackled. "Discovering yourself? What self help book did you pick that gem out of?"

"I was quoting you, you moron!" Gareth sputtered.

"If I said anything like that then I was definitely high and it just proves my point. Steve would just be uncomfortable."Eddie stuck his tongue out. "So there."

"Fine." Gareth sighed. "If we ever get high with Harrington, I'll sit in his lap."

Eddie's eye twitched. "No you will not."

Thrilled to have something to tease the elder metalhead about, a smile graced Gareth's face. "In fact, I'm calling dibs."

"You can't call dibs on a lap! And besides, you don't even like him like that!"

"So?" Gareth retorted. "It's a nice lap, looks comfortable. You don't want it, so I'll take it."

Eddie grit his teeth, grasping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles went white.

"I know what you're doing Gary. This is some bullshit reverse psychology shit and I will not be falling for it."

"Oh contraire, this is sibling bullshit, Munson. You want it, so I want it." Gareth crossed his arms and looked at Eddie smugly. "And unless you do something about it, I'm getting it."

"I hate you."

Gareth grinned, delighted. "I know."

#Gareth @ 15: LOOK AT THESE LITERAL BABIES!#The Party @ 13: SCREW YOU GARY U NERD #Steve is a mom in my head but he definitely has older brother vibes.#Like he's on that 'You can do stupid shit but only if I supervise' phase lol #I don't ship Gareth with Jeff but I can see him picking Jeff over Eddie as the Bi Test Run.#Pre steddie #hellfire adopts Steve #adopt a jock #steve harrington #Eddie Munson #hellfire club #Steve harrington whump #Sad Boy Hours Steve #0o0 fanfics #gareth emerson #jeff #grant #Next part is Eddie Munsons Ridiculous Oneshot

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