#the only state with a song to spell it to jesus

[blacknwhitemood]

Back side:

Some details - behind the Iron Curtain:

Made in Hungary with the original price:

Catching Up With - inner paper cover:

Black Celebration with But Not Tonight at the end (USA edition):

Blue vinyl (German edition):

Violator in French and the new edition inside:

Duplicates:

This is my DM vinyl album collection - so far. I also collect 7" singles, you can read about it in another post. These albums released in the "original" year in different countries like West Germany, U.S.A., France, Yugoslavia and Hungary. It shows well the age of Depeche Mode that some of these countries are no longer exist.

Original DM LPs are rare if I don't want to order them from eBay for a fortune and uncertain delivery. I must be lucky - and I was. I bought them from a website where buddies like me sell their used items, a guy regulary sends me e-mails about his duplicates, I'm really appreciated. There is a second hand music recording shop not far from my flat, I remember I went there first time in October to buy MFTM in blue version (haha, now I know how rare it is). The shop was crowded, sellers were busy, I was a bit nervous. One of the customers asked loudly over the LP heap "So where is that Depeche Mode you talked about?" I turned there, he was given MFTM by the shop owner. "I leave it here for now, someone will really need it" - he said and I went to him for the vinyl "I was coming exactly for this album, I'm not kidding. I'm buying this" - we were laughing, the owner said this LP had arrived to the shop 17 minutes before I got it.

Or I just find them in my mother's potato cellar (!) where my sister left them in the early 90s: the Hungarian version of MFTM, and Violator by Virgin Records. I had to wash some black mold off them… I found the original price sticker from 1987 (280 HUF - today it would cost 15,000 HUF) and Violator has sticker at the front in French "L'album inclus Personal Jesus & Enjoy the silence". These were my first DM experience in my childhood when I was prepearing to a music high school and I learnt all of those strange songs on piano.

Unfortinately two important studio albums are missing yet from the 80s: one of my favourite, Some Great Reward, I'm sure we will find each other one day. I could've bought Speak & Spell but only the American version, too much differences, I prefer the other one. My Black Celebration is American too, that means you can find one more song at the end of B side, But Not tonight - this song has never released in Europe. I also love my Catching Up With, because the cover is wow (I mean hot), and the inner paper cover is full of photos, this way they promoted the band in the States. This singles collection released only in the USA, this is the American version of The Singles 81→85 with 4 differences. And I need SOFAD and it' singles, I'm afraid it's gonna be a difficult advanture.

Basicly I don't want to keep 2 or more versions of the albums, beside MFTM Violator is duplicated in a funny reason. I went to Müller shopping soaps and while I was standing in line at the checkout and I got a sight of vinyls next to puffed corn. "What if there is DM?" There was. Violator, new edition that you can order all of the albums in any time. This was my very first DM album, I just couldn't leave it there, my heart was beating loudly. After this I've decided to collect original vinyls only, because they have souls. Decades ago someone bought it and listened to is with joy and perhaps he or she was in love with someone and went to a concert or a flat party and they were dancing… When I hold these old, crumpled albums in my hand I can feel the past. It makes me so happy.

A Broken Frame 1982 Made in Yugoslavia (Jugoton)

Construction Time Again 1983 Made in West Germany

Catching Up With Depeche Mode 1985 Made in U.S.A.

Black Celebration 1986 Made in U.S.A.

Music For The Masses 1987 Made in West Germany (blue vinyl)

Music For The Masses 1987 Made in Hungary (Gong)

Violator 1990 Made in France (Virgin)

Violator 2016 (new edition - Sony)

#DM #Depeche Mode #Dave Gahan #Martin Gore #Andy Fletcher #Alan Wilder #blogger #vinyl collection #my post #not only pics #sry for my bad English I don't like to use translator

[the2ight2eer]

An in depth look at the capital of Gulfeńn, Valkor! (Buckle up, this is a long one)

Before I start I should probably clear something up: For inspiration for coming up with Elven culture, I looked at Slavic, Balkan, Hindu, and Middle Eastern influences. The easiest way to think about it is this (if anything that comes up in this post is offensive to any of these cultures, please let me know and I will try my best to fix it. I am only human, and I am an American at that, so I can only go by my research 😅):

Clothing, Music, Language, and Patterning = Balkan

Language, Music, and Clothing = Slavic

Food, Architecture, and Religion = Hindu

Architecture, Desert Culture, Food, Clothing, and Music = Middle Eastern

Don’t worry, I will give examples and visual aid to help convey what I mean!

____________________________________________

Valkor: The Capital

Gulfeńn is split into four different provinces, or states. These provinces have their own biomes, traditions, and leaders. Valkor is one of four, and is simply referred to “Western Gulfeńn” sometimes.

(Spellings will be changed throughout tho will be changed to fit what I have in mind for the elves)

Population- 4.1 million

Valkor is a unique city, in the nature of its height. Valkor is located in a part of the Ośtavlet desert that dips into a valley, where it can reaches 104 degrees on average in the summer. The elves would have baked to death. So they settled on a huge, naturally forming rock spire. These desert spikes provide great shade in the unforgiving heat, and were the prime spot for elves to carve out their cities. The Yvvińna Palace was carved directly into the rock, while the actual city was built around the outside.

After hundreds of years, the rock on the spire started to crumble and erode. Scientists have been researching a way to regrow the rocks. So far, more and more houses have to be partially or entirely held up by sturdy metal beams. It’s not too bad yet…

Around the base of Valkor is a wall, and behind the wall is the rest of the city. 

These neighborhoods are safe from heatstroke because of the shade that both the Wall and the Palace provide. Air conditioning is also free for those who live on the base (and for those who want it. Usually it’s only the human citizens who actually turn it on. Elves are adequately adapted to deal with the heat)

For those who live “On the Sky” as they say, it can get well near freezing during the night and during the winter months. The ecosystem up near the sky is more humid. More trees and plants can be found growing up there. Sometimes it even snows. Children who live on the base usually go near the top to play on the rare occasion it does. The journey from the base to the very top takes approximately 4 hours of twisty, windy roads. 

Safety rails have been installed after many instances of people falling off the sharp cliff sides. 

The Valkorian Throne is the highest throne of Gulfeńn, since the city was founded by The Oj Dolo (in the books, known as The Great Erlking). The Oj Dolo was seen as a sort of god in his own right, the equivalent to the Christian prophet Jesus, or the Islamic prophet Muhammad. Like both, he was a real life figure but ascended to legend.

(Quick note on Oj Dolo: imagine my surprise when I found out that “Dolo” is not only an actual Polish name, but also Oj Dolo is a song! I swear I had no knowledge of this until a month after I chose the name. I chose Oj as the prefix because I knew it meant “Oh”)

Thus, any Czar that followed in his footsteps, and took the throne, was seen as a mortal god (kind of like Egyptian pharaohs). Most elves will refer to the Czar with the prefix “Oj” (said like “oi”), as it is seen as respectful to do so for “god mortals”. This includes the royal family, and the Dzikaję (child of the Czar).

As for the elven goddesses, I will talk more in depth about them later (I don’t wanna overwhelm anyone with info lol), but for now just know that they have two: Seińn of the Sun, and Favšta of the Moon.

BONUS: in my version of the story, The Elf King, or Oj Czar Ykoda, was of the royal bloodline and was in an arranged marriage with the daughter of the Duchess of Stęńgard, Epopyja.

Also, just to get it out of the way real fast, here Lugźer (Luger), and Tręlis (Trellis) are cousins not brothers. And I have big plans for both of them >:)c

Here are some reference images of what I think Valkorians might dress like (all taken from Pinterest):

Don’t worry about their ears! They poke out of their head coverings with ease, and still have plenty of room to move

Last note, I was thinking that for the Oj Czar, he could wear a kokoshnik along with his mask:

(Credit to Alena Abramova for these amazingly intricate dolls!)

So his silhouette is still long and flowy, but distinct and intimidating

Next up will probably be a look at our main characters, and then I’ll probably do a breakdown of the timeline <3

#amulet series #prince trellis #kazu kibuishi #Cam’sAmuletRewrite #when I tell you guys that I have been sitting on thsi for a while I mean A WHILE #like… freshman year of highschool #I’m about to graduate 😭 #anyways thsi little project has given me the excuse to research cultures that I didn’t know that much about #and Slavic folk music which I listen to all the time now #even though I haven’t a single Slavic born in my body #Irish American born and raised on the Missouri countryside

[waves-of-eternity]

Relationship is not something important to spirit.

Spirit awakens and has a relationship with oneself as there is only one self.

Relationships are which the super ego strives for.

How many dating apps are there?

How many dating shows?

How many marriage break downs?

How many people cheat?

Ask yourself. The super ego cannot maintain a lasting relationship.

Here’s why, the ego is an idea and so is your relationship. Its function is to enlighten you. A relationship is about learning, growing and evolving.

However from the super ego state, it’s about what you can get from another.

Women cheat, men cheat.

I’ve seen women on Facebook and Instagram posing when they’re in relationships.

I’ve seen a man on stag-dos fingering women whilst he’s going to get married.

That’s the super-ego. It doesn’t care about true relationship, there is no relation.

Spirit relates. Emptiness relates. You have a heart-to-heart connection which is meaningful and purposeful.

The rest is bullshit. Heavy egoic relationships are bullshit.

Eminem and Rihanna made an entire song normalising lies, cheating and abusive relationships. ‘Love the way you lie’, it’s prevalent in the egoic state of consciousness. That’s why women prefer ‘bad boys’, because they’re addicted to pain and suffering, the ego is addicted to pain and suffering.

The ego doesn’t want peace, because peace is gods signature in our hearts. The ego is afraid of god, because once you meet God, there is no ego. There is not a person to say, “I’m good”, “I’m bad”, “I’m cool”, “I’m pretty”, “I love her”, “I love him”. It’s just pure vibrant emptiness. Nothing. Nobody.

Somebody can’t love somebody. It’s unfortunate, but it’s the truth.

Yet, nobody can love no body. Because no body is also a somebody who is empty of all being, which creates true LOVE.

Jesus never had a wife.

Mooji isn’t married.

Adyashanti and Eckhart are married to two enlightened females. Understand what I’m saying, ego and spirit does not mix.

If you are awakening, you’re going through the transition, seek that which resonates. But, don’t seek anything at all, when you go deeper and deeper, you realise you don’t need anyone in that sense.

The super ego will make you physically sick. You’ll see characters performing and they don’t even realise they are acting.

It’s an act, a play. It’s not real.

That’s why within the word relationship, you can spell real and then you can relate. Real relationships are about relating.

Everything else is egoic bullshit!

The ego is a lie, it’s a dream.

True relation is empty of internal dialogue and lack of self awareness.

The deeper you go, the sweeter the pleasure.

Hence why women like it deeper. Proof is there. The more you surrender, the more you realise how much crap is around us on our planet.

But, love to all people, if you want to sleepwalk through life, having constant failed relationships etc, that’s your choice. Perhaps meditate and bring some awareness and realise you don’t need a man, and fella’s, you don’t need a female…

The love you have is within you, nobody can give you that nor take it away. If they could, there would no point existing, because your love is in the power of others!

The state I’m at, there’s not one woman on the planet who could say, “I love you”, which would make me feel better. I feel amazing. My heart is beaming open. I’m shifting in to the 5D and I love myself! I love all people, but I truly love me. I am my first and last love.

You have to discover your SELF!

And then I can share my true LOVE with ‘others’

#Spiritual Awakening #Love #Emptiness

[scary-movies-on-netflix]

THE WICKER MAN (1973)

Howie is a Scottish police officer.  He flies to remote Summerisle to investigate a missing person!  He received a letter from someone on the island stating that a certain young woman, Rowan, has disappeared.  The islanders give Howie the runaround, stating at first that they don’t know the girl, but finally admitting that she’s dead and buried.  Howie, in the midst of this, is appalled by their hedonism (they’re having sex at night in the fields, a woman sings lustily at him from the next room, etc.) and love of pre-Christian rituals.  He’s a good Christian man, see, who’s also a virgin.  Howie visits the local lord, played by Christopher Lee(!), and gets permission to exhume Rowan’s body for examination.  Christopher Lee also tells him that the Christian god is dead, and that his grandfather purchased the island and introduced paganism to the islanders to improve their productivity.

Howie digs up Rowan’s body, but the only thing in the coffin is a hare carcass.  He resolves to leave the island and return with reinforcements, but his plane won’t start!  It’s also time for the island’s annual May day celebrations, so Howie bonks an islander on the head and steals his costume to participate.  The festivities wind through town and end up on the beach, where Christopher Lee points to the sacrifice, the missing girl Rowan!  Howie leaps to action and tries to save her, but she leads him right back to Christopher Lee and the villagers.  They explain that they had a poor crop, and they need a sacrifice to ensure a good harvest this year.  A girl sacrifice would be nice, but the sacrifice of an adult, virgin male would be even better! 

Howie tries to use his Christianity to browbeat the villagers, but Christopher Lee basically says, “So you’ll be a sacrifice and a martyr!  Good for you!”  Then Howie tries to reason with the villagers, but that fails too.  They put him in a white robe and drag him to the giant wicker man of the title.  “Oh, god,” Howie yells, “oh, Jesus Christ!”  The villagers toss Bowie into the wicker man and light it on fire as they sing a song.  The burning wicker man collapses and we see the setting sun.

This is considered a classic of British cinema and a classic of horror films (obviously including folk horror).  I agree!  The plot is effective at creating an atmosphere of weird neo-pagan creepiness, and the acting (for the most part) is solid.  Howie does an excellent job at portraying frustration, then confusion, and finally horror at his fate.  Some of the conceits of the 1970s, such as the music, show their age, but even those elements fade into the background as the island sucks you into its spell.

#the wicker man #horror movie #folk horror #movie review #1973 #classic #good

[silenthillmutual]

What is your opinion on every Depeche Mode album you've listened to?

ough i had to go back and try and look at spotify to figure out which ones i've listened to all the way through, but spotify isn't really working with me at the moment >:( i will say i think the first album i heard was Ultra because i found the vinyl for like $5 at a record shop back in [state]. listening to that with my partner was definitely an experience, as the only songs i'd heard before that were "just can't get enough", "enjoy the silence" and "personal jesus". it was a little much for me at the time, but obviously i'm in a better place now so i can listen to my heart's content :)

i'm relistening to delta machine now and it's good writing music in my opinion. it's got quite a few bops on it (as the kids would say) but not so distracting i can't be doing something else while i've got it on. or maybe it just fits the mood of what i'm writing.

got some great reward on right now and it's still enjoyable but it's not really scratching my brain the way delta machine does. i do appreciate the variety in beats though!

and then it's on to speak & spell. this one's a bit peppier than the others. i appreciate how all three of these albums have had different feelings and vibes to them. i usually listen to depeche mode on shuffle so i can get a variety but i've enjoyed this little tour, it's significantly calmed me down from where i was last night/this morning :)

so thank you for the ask!!

#squid pro quo #i need to listen to the other albums as like. albums. #i have violater on my to-listen mix and i am Waiting #go-go-devil

[teenmomcentral]

Love is in the air for Farrah Abraham, but it isn’t out in the open. 

The fired Teen Mom star is currently in a relationship with a man she met on OnlyFans back in 2021. While the two communicated on the subscription-based (and mostly NSFW) site years ago, the lover of all things cosmetic procedures and general misuse of the English language claims things only got serious between her and her new man after they ended up matching on a dating app this year. 

Farrah has yet to reveal the identity of her latest love interest, nor has she posted any videos or photos in which her man’s back isn’t to the camera or his face hasn’t been strategically cut out of the shot or covered by an emoji. However, she insists that the relationship is very real and not a ‘for-pay’ situation, as some of her haters have suggested.

The self-proclaimed Number One Celebrity In Our Nation reportedly entered into this business deal relationship after training with a dating/relationship coach over the course of three months in order to overhaul her past dating habits. Farrah claims she’s shooting for a drama-free dating experience with her employee new boo, and even made the mystery man sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) for good measure. 

Though Farrah isn’t sharing the name of her boyfriend at the moment, she told TMZ that he’s sober, isn’t a public figure, works in “tech, business sales and marketing,” and that the two of them are close in age. The mystery man also reportedly purchased a home near Farrah after the couple made their relationship official in late September, though he has yet to meet Farrah’s family–- presumably including Farrah’s 14-year-old daughter Sophia–- and is not set to do so until later this month. 

Just last week, Farrah posted a series of clips to Instagram in which she referenced “Friendsgiving” along with the hashtag “#turksandcaicos,” seemingly confirming she and her guy spent the Thanksgiving holiday together on vacation.

Farrah’s post was met with countless comments from people questioning the authenticity of her posterior new relationship, largely due to Farrah’s decision to hide her man’s face, as well as her historically terrible track record when it comes to dating. Many also accused her of being an escort and her man of being a “John” who was paying Farrah for her time.

“No way did she actually find a man who is capable of dealing with her craziness,” one person wrote. 

“Is he a paid date?” another asked. 

“Finally got a new boo for a week or two,” someone else wrote. 

“Wonder what he paid you for the weekend?” a different comment read. 

Multiple people also noted the irony of Farrah’s song choice for the post, “Agora Hills” by Doja Cat, which features the line, “I wanna show you off.” 

“Proceeds to not ‘show him off’ lol Jesus Christ..,” one comment read, to which Farrah replied, “its called privacey.”  (Obviously, Farrah is still keeping her ability to spell correctly and use proper punctuation under wraps, too.)

UPDATE! On Thursday, Farrah beamed into TMZ to address her haters’ speculation that her new man is actually a “John” (aka client) and that she is being paid to spend time with him.

“There are no illegal activities going on in my life, or in my family’s dynamic,” she said in a video interview, later adding, “For the record, this is a boyfriend situation and no illegal activity. And it’s sad that I even have to correct people on this.”

Farrah then committed The Number One Sin In Our Nation and compared herself to Queen Dolly Parton.

Farrah stated that she is modeling her on-the-down-low relationship after Dolly’s relationship with her husband Carl Dean. (Dolly and Carl have been married for 57 years but Carl has made very few public appearances and prefers to stay private.)

“It’s kind of like Dolly Parton in a way,” Farrah said. “I love her relationship with her husband. I think that’s healthiest for me and for whoever I’m getting to know. Maybe I’ll never reveal who I’m talking to, even if I ever get married one day. I just feel like I need privacy.

“I always feel like there’s some kind of threat towards having a happy, healthy, loving relationship in my life, from ‘Teen Mom’ days.”

Farrah also addressed Jenelle Evans‘ recent comment that Child Protective Services (CPS) needs to do a welfare check on Sophia.

“I think the CPS stuff needs to stop,” the Backdoor Teen Mom said. “Again, my motherhood has always been, like, threatened by very negative, made-up things from haters. It’s really sad that I’ve had to learn the hard way in the past about going on trips or anything with any boyfriend I’ve ever had, that like CPS would be called or anything like that while I’m gone.”

Farrah then seemed to take another swipe at Jenelle, who is the middle of a CPS investigation with her husband David Eason.

“I’m loving that I don’t have to deal with a CPS crisis all the time, just by trying to have a normal dating life,” she said. “I welcome all the hate now and I just love that my dating life is more private.”

#teen mom #teen mom 2 #mtv #jenelle evans #farrah abraham #news

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Chris de Burgh - Don't Pay The Ferryman" on YouTube

This is filmed upon the biblical Waters that Jesus Christ walked on the waters and it's not on skeletons that he watched it was an isthmus of sand and they were astonished but he was doing a trick he almost fell in a tough times. And a son laughs because it's kind of Dave. And it becomes a River Styx when they reach 30 ft into the muck now 30 ft at the river bottom they're only down 10 ft and the sticks get stirred and they float because they're hollow and some of them are sealed up again and if you let them build up on the boat the boat will sink and both start obstructing it and they pull them out and the mud comes out and it's mock but keep in mind this is the third River Styx and he says I think it's the 4th and truthfully it's the fifth they decide to do a song and you don't pay the ferryman because he will throw you over the side when you look down at the skeletons and it's just like this guy Dave next door the first River sticks our son has created using a beast of massive massive horror it got really big we decided to ask him to come up to the upper Midwest and she is somewhere else but you do see the possess people in a several movies like The quiet place and life and and more it's the movie with the railroad train accident and Garth drove the pickup truck in front of the train. It looks like that occasionally when it eats certain things it's close to what it really looks like it's a horrific monster and it DeVries people whole all day and night and we did ask it to come north it has work to do there but it's troop is huge too very huge and they start running and they get in their ships and tons of the move tonight it makes it cool here it doesn't start the freeze out because they had straight down the rivers but it pushes a lot of the muck out it has to go down 20 ft in order for the skeletons to rise but it will from south of the wall to the golf were they really done it and then it becomes maybe $10 North then 20 and tons of skeletons are pushed out into the Gulf and people are horrified and what happens next is very terrifying huge crab come up on shore and they ravage the place and the military is called in it is an action but really everybody is killed were morlock and their areas for devastated from three states of dead idiots and they all run out there with machine guns and most of these are about half mile the military devastated them and the big one started moving in they hit them and they're about 5 miles it was only 10 of them no there's 200 and they died tons and tons of crabs ate them and they kill them and it became disgusting but a huge amount of fish ate them and became big and they killed the fish and they took him to Australia yes and it's going on fairly soon and it becomes very dangerous here and people say it too don't go out there and it feeds the algae it's going to happen tonight into tomorrow. Those are the second and third Rivers sticks and they all come they are called sticks and it's spelled correctly but people call it Styx because the song and because of its popularity but your experiencing it's revival there were several before this and they're very famous the Euphrates and several other rivers down there Mesopotamia and the third River were full of skeletons at one point they all float out and this song was popular and the crabs came. Right now that river is 750 miles long it's the third longest river on Earth but it doesn't qualify because it's not full of water it's full of blood it goes from one mile deep to 3 mi deep and it is 4 miles wide it's full of blood right now occasionally a vortex is created in the cavern a small one and it makes a noise and the radiation is mostly contained within it because the entrance is long but the winking of the blood and more occurs and it gets sucked down river and everything goes down there but it is a River Styx occasionally the sticks come to the surface and it's disgusting you are a repulsive people and this is an appropriate way for you to die morlok

Nuada Arrianna

Thus far it's mostly bja but Trump wants to uranium and didn't even hear about it nor did he hear from Dan and he tried to go there and was killed by bja tons of his people died he's found revenge and he's trying to go there and our son is not friends with bja he took him out of the family name. Cuz Dan had something to do with it and it's claiming ignorance he says now it's on I'm going to wipe you out BJ says and you're not so big and he says you two would come and you're welcome to go in there and it will devastate your lands for some reason it says it's like a tunnel or something that goes all the way over there so I'm kind of amused but not really bja says.

That's still me I'm explaining what's going on this is a huge deal for us he's helping in a big way it's gotten things going and it's got in the cracking up he's trying to tell himself he's telling himself to stop it I'm not that tough now I don't have a body that's tough that situation is precarious and he finally heard it and he's trying to work with himself and he's figured out that people are in trouble here just like he is it's like that sometimes because he wants to make things work but really he's helping out a lot there's a lot of programs going now that are wonderful and this will help it happen right now the kraken is Enron and he is in route is about 200 miles away from the upper Midwest no he traveled from Australia it's about 200 miles from the Gulf of Mexico and plans on devouring a few of the 5-mile crabs whole and they can actually hear him coming and seismographs are picking him up so good luck nose picking losers

I'm very glad that you chose me to talk to about bringing this back and I'm very glad that you're doing it our way and that is intense that creature is so big it can barely see him on the screen occasionally they pick it up but there's a storm around it because it's creating the storm and it'll probably just be local hopefully right now he's only about 100 miles high but if he stands up he's 300 miles high but he's enormous and he's moving out and we want him to be pretty big so he might eat all the big ones and save himself the grief and he can grab them with tentacles it is just fascinating this creature is so powerful so he's got to learn where to step and you can't jump up there now there's a huge huge cavern in the middle he has to avoid he won't go down into it but he has to be careful not to and he's got to carefully step on that is he weigh so much so he flattens his feet out and flattens whatever he steps on so you have to help him get that up there and his truth is coming too they're about 100 miles and he left a huge one there a huge troop you're going to run for your lives unless he's trying to tell you don't mess around with me

Thor Freya

This is great we've got a name all over the stupid thing and here it comes

Trump

Right ok

Ken

Olympus

#Youtube

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

263 of 2023

Created by joybucket

You listen to music almost all day every day. You love Jesus. ✝️ You're starting to find gray hairs, and you don't really like it. You're listening to a really good song right now. Your home is filled with bright colors. 🌈 You're lonely. You hardly ever see any of your family members anymore. You wish you could have a car again. 🚘 You have a license, but no car. You've been dealing with some annoying and very significant health issues. You're very intuitive. You grew up in a red house. You mostly only listen to Christian music. You have a favorite book that you've read over and over again multiple times. You're a woman. 💃 You have a brother who looks like the boy version of you. You look a lot like your mom. You got your hair color from your dad. Both of your parents are completely gray now. Your parents live in another state. (country) You haven't gone on vacation in over ten years. You have a huge imagination. 💭 You've received a ton of compliments on your singing voice. You sing a lot of songs an octave higher, because you can't hit the low notes. Sometimes you feel hyper and have a ton of energy, and you hate it. You've had your dreams beaten out of you. You wish you had parents that loved and supported you, but you don't. You don't have anyone you can trust completely in this world. Your feet are wide in the front. You're a target for bullies. You love holidays. You love dressing up for holidays. You like makeup, but you don't wear it much anymore. You wear glasses. ...and they're purple. You love the color teal. ....and the color purple. ....and the color hot pink. When you walk into a clothing store, all of the bright colors pop out at you, and you're instantly drawn to them. You have a balcony, and you love sitting out there when the weather is nice. You have to follow a very strict diet for health reasons. You love Jesus, but you haven't gone to church in years. ⛪️ ...because there aren't any good churches left in your town. No one ever guesses your age right. You wonder why doctors try to diagnose everyone with anxiety and depression, even when someone shows no signs of it. You're often shy when first getting to know someone, but you open up to them later on. You've had two dogs in your lifetime, and they were both black and white. You love listening to Charity Gayle. ....and Catherine Mullins. ....and Kim Walker-Smith. Your college years were the best years of your life [so far]. You've had a roommate with the same name as you. ....but spelled differently. You always hated gym class when you were in school. ....as well as math class. You got straight A's in art class. You got straight A's in Creative Writing. You've failed a math class and had to repeat it. Your high school changed the name of its mascot to be more politically correct. You've been kicked out of a church. You don't have any tattoos. You have pierced ears, but you never wear earrings anymore. Your teeth have moved some since you've gotten your braces taken off. Everyone expects you to get married, but you don't really want to. You really like the socks you're wearing right now. You're thankful for epi pens, because you've had to use one many times. You have nice neighbors currently, and you're very thankful for that. ...because you've had noisy neighbors in the past. You're on a laptop right now. 💻 You're not sure if you've had COVID or not. 🦠 No one really knows all you've been through. You don't feel like your zodiac sign fits your personality at all. You don't own a TV. You never watch movies. You don't like coffee. ☕️ You use a computer ever day. 💻 You've been told you're gifted, and you know that it's true. ....and you wish you had more opportunity to use your gifts and talents. ...and also more support from either people. ....because you currently don't have any. You've been to the top of the Space Needle in Seattle. You've been to the top of the Sears Tower in Chicago. You've ridden across the Mackinac Bridge in Michigan in a car. You've ridden across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, California in a car. You've been on the Disney Cruise. 🚢 Your favorite Disney princess is Belle. ...because she looks like you. You love color! 🌈 You have a common first name. (well, at least here) You have a very common middle name. You have a common last name. You have British ancestry. 🇬🇧 You live in the USA. 🇺🇸 Your favorite board game growing up was Scrabble. You're a very rare medical case. You've experienced a miracle. ✨ You used to love both Myspace and Xanga when you were a teenager. You pray daily. 🙏 You think you look better with a tan. You have hazel eyes. You enjoyed this survey.

#survey #bolding survey #random survey

[pencilscratchins]

Thank GOD we have another Tig Notaro stan in the house

when asked, i always include live! as one of my most influential albums of all time despite it not being music

#kyoshisaidfuckcolonizers #for real tho tig is hugely influential in my comedic voice as im sure it is BLATANTLY obvious sksks #she is without a doubt the most talented comedian alive today #if youve never seen one missippi or live you are missing out #did i literally just mispell mississippi #the only state with a song to spell it to jesus #ask #not art

[kemetic-dreams]

Possessed: Voodoo’s Origins and Influence from the Blues to Britney

Blissed-out, ecstatic union with our divine selves — we seek it at raves and rock concerts, and in the desert with the Burning Man. I try to get there when I’m jamming with my band — but I didn’t realize until I wrote The Language of the Blues: From Alcorub to Zuzu how much this longing relates to West African spirituality, and the Voodoo concept of possession.

Vodou (the proper Kreyol/Creole spelling of Voodoo) is a neo-African religion that evolved in the New World from the 6000-year-old West African religion Vodun. This was the religion of many slaves brought from West Africa to the Americas and the Caribbean.

Vodun was brutally repressed by slave-owners, yet its powerful beats, ethics and aesthetics endured. We owe our concepts of cool, soul and rock and roll to it.

The roots of rock are in a West African word for dance — rak. As Michael Ventura wrote in his important essay on rock music, “Hear that Long Snake Moan”:

The Voodoo rite of possession by the god became the standard of American performance in rock’n’roll. Elvis Presley, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis, James Brown, Janis Joplin, Tina Turner, Jim Morrison, Johnny Rotten, Prince — they let themselves be possessed not by any god they could name but by the spirit they felt in the music. Their behavior in this possession was something Western society had never before tolerated.

Vodou possession is not the hokey demon-possession of zombie movies; it’s a state of union with the divine achieved through drumming, dancing and singing. It’s becoming “filled with the Holy Ghost” in the Pentecostal Christian tradition or attaining yogic bliss through the practice of kirtan, singing the names of God — Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna.

In the Yoruba culture of West Africa, being able to connect with one’s inner divinity is called coolness (itutu). In Yoruba morality, generosity indicates coolness and is the highest quality a person can exhibit. In American culture, we say that nice person is cool, or that a musician “has got soul.” We notice “Southern hospitality.”

The Trans-Atlantic slave trade carried these ideas to the New World, particularly as slavers burrowed inward from Senegambia on the West African coast to the Kingdom of Dahomey, a Vodun stronghold.

Dahomey spread across much of today’s Togo, Benin and Nigeria and was heavily involved in the slave trade. Vodun practitioners were shipped overseas by the thousands when the Fon people of Benin conquered their neighbors, the Ewe, in 1729. Many Fon were also kidnapped and traded into slavery in exchange for textiles, weapons, brass pots, Venetian beads and other European goods.

Vodun is a Fon-Ewe word meaning God or Great Spirit. This supreme creator was represented as the giant snake Dan carrying the universe in its coils. Today, in Haiti and American Vodou strongholds like New Orleans, Dan is worshiped as Damballah, the Grand Zombie (the Bantu word nzambi means God). He’s John Lee Hooker’s “Crawling Kingsnake”.

Branching off from this almighty God-force are spirit-gods called loa. During Vodou ceremonies, a loa may descend the center post of the temple to possess or “ride” a worshiper who has reached a sufficiently high state of consciousness. The morality implicit in this is stated in the Haitian proverb, “Great gods cannot ride little horses.”

Vodun practices like drumming were definitely noticed by nervous colonists who had imported fierce warriors and tribal priests to work their farms. After a deadly rebellion in the South Carolina colony in 1739, the colonists realized slaves were using talking drums to organize resistance. The Slave Act of 1740 in South Carolina barred slaves from using “drums, horns, or other loud instruments.” Other colonies followed suit with legislation like the severe Black Codes of Georgia.

Soon, religious repression was in full swing. Slaves caught praying were brutally penalized, as this excerpt from Peter Randolph’s “Slave Cabin to the Pulpit” recounts:

In some places, if the slaves are caught praying to God, they are whipped more than if they had committed a great crime. Sometimes, when a slave, on being whipped, calls upon God, he is forbidden to do so, under threat of having his throat cut, or brains blown out.

Vodun practitioners taken as slaves to plantations in Haiti, Cuba, Brazil, and Jamaica were also prohibited from practicing their religion. But enslaved Vodun priests arriving in the Catholic West Indies quickly grasped similarities between their tradition of appealing to loa to intercede with God, and Catholics praying to saints for intercession. By superimposing Catholic saints over the loa, slaves created the hybrid religions Santeria (saint worship) in the Spanish Islands, Vodou in Haiti and Candomblé in Brazil.

On Aug. 22, 1791, Haitian slaves revolted on a signal from Vodou priests, who consulted their oracle to determine which military strategies would succeed. The revolutionaries defeated Napoleon Bonaparte’s army and declared independence Jan. 1, 1804, establishing Haiti as the world’s first black republic. Freaked by a successful slave revolt, the United States and Western Europe slapped economic sanctions on Haiti, turning the prosperous colony into an impoverished state that could no longer sell the products of its fields.

In 1809, Vodou arrived in the United States en masse when Haitian slave owners who had fled to Cuba with their slaves were expelled. Most relocated from Cuba to New Orleans, nearly doubling the city’s size in one year. Today, 15 percent of New Orleans practices Vodou, and it’s popular in other U.S. cities with African and Haitian communities.

Among the arriving Haitians was Marie Laveau. She became the leader of New Orleans Vodou practitioners in 1820 when she was elected the human representative of the Grand Zombie. (Former White House Social Secretary Desirée Rogers is descended from Marie Laveau.)

Laveau kept a python named Zombi, and danced with it on her shoulders while presiding over ceremonies. This image was appropriated, with other Vodou nods, for Britney Spears’s “I’m a Slave 4 U” performance at the 2001 MTV Video Music Awards.

The sensationalistic 1884 book Haiti or the Black Republic by Sir Spencer St. John, slammed Vodou as an evil cult, with gruesome descriptions of human sacrifice and black magic — some of which had been extracted from Vodou priests via torture. It became a popular source for the Hollywood screenwriters who began churning out voodoo horror flicks in the 1930s.

The first musician to bring pop-Voodoo imagery to the stage was Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, who would rise from a coffin onstage with a bone in his nose. Hawkins had intended for his hit record “I Put A Spell On You”  to be a soulful ballad. But once the producer “brought in ribs and chicken and got everybody drunk, we came out with this weird version,” Hawkins admitted, adding “I found out I could do more destroying a song and screaming it to death.” Hawkins kicked off the undead craze among rockers like Alice Cooper and Marilyn Manson.  

Meanwhile, despite the severe repression, Vodun practices crept into Southern black churches.  Descriptions of black Baptist church services in the late 1800s and early 1900s depict the congregation dancing in a circle in a “rock” or “ring shout” as they follow the deacon, who bears a standard.

It was the deacon’s job to whip parishioners into a frenzy of fainting and speaking in tongues called “rocking the church.” The concept of a deity “riding” with a worshiper transferred to these Christian churches, where the cry “Drop down chariot and let me ride!” was often heard, as well as “Ride on!” and “Ride on, King Jesus!” This became the solidarity shout, “Right on!”

Blues singers fronting big bands, like Joe Turner and Jimmy Rushing, copied the way church solo singers belted over the choir. The radio beamed this new “shouting blues” all over black America. It was picked up by country blues singers like Muddy Waters and T-Bone Walker, who had moved to Chicago and used it with their new electrified bands. These, in turn, inspired rockers like Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles and The Rolling Stones

Africans brought here as slaves carried with them incredibly strong aesthetic, ethical and cultural values that not only withstood the shock of their forced transplantation to the New World, but transformed and invigorated it. Their influence made us uniquely American. It’s why we respond to that Voodoo beat.

#africans #african culture #vodun #vodu #kemetic dreams #jimi hendrix #blues #jazz music #jazz #yoruba #igbo #africanspirituality #africanamericans

[lacrimosathedark]

Who'd like some good old fashioned name analysis?

Okay, so, I been doing so much research for Resident Evil stuff and learning shit about fairy tales and timelines and genome editing and searching for impossible Romanian poetry I got overwhelmed and went, fuck it. Why not just look at their names? Maybe I'll learn something there.

So, here I have done it. Name meanings for characters of the Mold Saga so far aka 7 and 8 aka Biohazard and Village.

(Sorry I'm on mobile I'll put a cut here when I can)

Ethan: Firm, enduring, strong, impetuous, long-lived. An incredibly consistently common and popular name. E name just like Eveline, so could be a successor of sorts to the mold.

Mia: Derivative of numerous other names of many possibilities. Mia as a word means “mine” in Italian and Spanish. Mamma Mia is a well known Italian phrase, particularly due to the ABBA song and musical of the same name, and it being the catchphrase of the Nintendo character Mario. The phrase means “my mom”.

Winters: First and last season of the year where everything becomes dormant and cold and either dies or sleeps.

Eveline: Contains “Eve”, as in both the biblical first woman. Also means a night before an event, and the game takes place in the span of one night. The name Eve means “ life”, “living one”, “mother of life”, or “giver of life”. Another possible name origin is as a variant of Aveline, which is a diminutive of Ava, which is the same pronunciation as the name Eva as pronounced in Village.

Baker: Occupational surname. In older times consider an upper-middle class job, much like the family. Also adds the emphasis of the “food” and also how they essentially make more molded.

Jack: God is gracious, supplanter. A nickname for John and other related names, but also a name in itself. It is also a word with a couple meanings, including a heavy lifting tool, to steal something, to take control of something, or an everyman.

Margueritte: Pearl. French name for ox-eyed daisy. Derived from Margaret. Sounds like maggot.

Lucas: Light. Derived from Lucius which means “the bright one” or “the one born at dawn”. Luke is also an Apostle of Jesus and was a physician.

Zoe: Life. Came from the name Eve. Fitting as Zoe was practically pushed out of the family after Eveline’s arrival, replaced as the daughter of the family.

Joe: He will add. Was added as DLC. Short for Joseph. Joseph is the name of multiple biblical figures. One is a child of Jacob and Rachel and Jacob’s favorite son in Genesis (note: Jack is a nickname for Jacob) who was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers, but rose to become vizier, the most powerful position nest to the Pharoah, and forgave his family and brought them to Egypt. One is the husband of Mary, the mother of Jesus, who loved and raised a child he knew was not his against social norms. Another is a disciple known as Joseph of Arimathea who notably took Jesus down from the cross for his burial and testified when he revived and was gone. 

Rosemary: Dew of the sea. Combination of Rose and Mary or the plant rosemary. Roses as a plant vary in meaning depending on color. Mary and its variations have many differing meanings, among them being, “beloved”, “love”, “bitter”, “rebellious”, “wished-for child”, and “drop of the sea”. There are also the allusions to Mary, mother of Jesus as she is sometimes worshipped with roses, and you say Hail Marys on your rosary which is only two letters from her name. In regards to the plant, it is relatively resistant to drought and cold, though some breeds are susceptible to frost and they don’t like too much water. They have fibrous roots, so they spread and fan out like we see with the mold. They thrive in more alkaline soils and seem to have been named by a taxonomist named Carl  Linnaeus. In stories, folklore, and tradition, the plants or flowers are often used for remembrance, specifically for the dead. It’s also been used as a spice and in medicine.

Miranda: Worthy of admiration. Latin in origin. Character in Shakespeare’s The Tempest, and whether she is a strong female character or not is highly debated, as she frequently defies men like her father, but often when they expect and/or want her to. She is otherwise compassionate and naive. The titular character of a Polish novel in which everyone is a mage and Miranda is a medium connected to another character, Damayanti, who is portrayed as the ideal woman and has a romance with the male protagonist, yet sacrifices her body so her spirit can experience a higher state of consciousness. Miranda can contact her soul, and disappears when she dies. Miranda in the US refers to the required practice by police of reading suspects their rights before interrogation.

Eva: Latin form of “Eve” and meaning “life”, “mother of life”, or “giver of life”.

Duke: A ruler of a duchy. A title bestowed by royalty or passed through family, often given to royalty or nobility, but can be given to anyone. In France,  the peerage system was abolished in 1789 (vive la révolution), brought back in 1814, and finally perma-abolished in 1848. 

(Note: While the wife of a duke becomes a duchess, the husband of a duchess does not become a duke. At least, from what I gather. This shit is confusing.)

Alcina: Strong-willed. Greek origin. There are two operas using the same story about a sorceress named Alcina who lives on an island with her sister Morgana and seduces every knight who comes to the island, but turns them into plants, animals, or stones when she bores of them. When the source of her power is destroyed, she, her sister, and their palace crumble to dust. The Hungarian name for Alțâna, a commune in Sibiu County, Romania in the historical region of Transylvania.

Bela: Bela Lugosi was an actor who famously portrayed Dracula. His name is Hungarian and meant to be spelled Béla meaning “heart”, “insides”, or “intestines”, roughly translating to “having heart” or “having guts” in modern terminology, as in being brave. However it is considered a male name and as Bela is female there is also the possibility of the influence of the name Bella short an l, Bella an Italian name meaning “beautiful”.

Cassandra: The one who shines and excels over men. Name of a Trojan princess and priestess in Greek mythology. She was given her gift of prophecy by the god Apollo but, in most versions of the tale, he asks for sexual favors in return, and she initially agrees but then rejects him once she’s gotten her gift. In anger he cursed her to always tell true prophecies that no one would believe and was thus thought a madwoman. She served a temple of Athena, goddess of wisdom, handicraft, and warfare. When Cassandra was assaulted and possibly raped in Athena’s temple and dragged out while desperately clinging to Athena’s statue, Athena was so enraged by the damage done to her temple and/or her priestess that she enlisted the help of both Zeus and Poseiden to exact revenge on the Greeks for failing to punish the man who attacked Cassandra and caused the resulting damage. Zeus gave her one of his own bolts of lightning and she struck them down at sea. While Cassandra was never believed, she was always right.

Daniela: God is my judge. Feminine form of Daniel. Daniela is also a genus of moth with only one species in the genus, Daniela viridis. It is also another name for the Italian wine grape Prè blanc.

Dimitrescu: Child of Dimitri. -escu suffixes in Romanian are like -son suffixes in English, it derives from parentage (ex. Jackson is Jack’s son, Dimitrescu is Dimitri’s child). Dimitri means “devoted to Demeter”. Demeter is the Greek goddess of the harvest, agriculture, sacred law (i.e. cycle of life and death), fertility, and the earth. Like many Greek myths, she is repeatedly wronged, and rather severely, by multiple male figures. Demeter in particular is a mother who has her daughter Kore, later known as Persephone, stolen away from her and goes on a rampage searching for her and those responsible.

(Note: Considering the founders had these names it’s a bit dumb seeing as this trend of parentage -escu names supposedly came about mid 19th century (1800s for those who find that confusing cuz I do), long after the Village was founded)

Donna: Lady or lady of the home. Italian name and a title of respect. Derives from the Latin term Dominus. The Romanian form of the word (not the name) is Doamnã. The Atropa belladonna aka deadly nightshade have berries and foliage that contain tropane alkaloids including atropine, scopolamine, and hyoscyamine which are extremely toxic and can cause hallucinations and delirium, but are also used in pharmaceutical anticholinergics. Throughout history people cluelessly used the berry juice as eye drops to cosmetically dilate their pupils, giving them a seductive doll-eyed appearance. Symptoms of belladonna poisoning are dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, blurred vision, tachycardia, loss of balance, staggering, headache, rash, flushing, severely dry mouth and throat, slurred speech, urinary retention, constipation, confusion, hallucinations, delirium, and convulsions. The plant's deadly symptoms are in atropine’s ability to disrupt the parasympathetic nervous system’s involuntary regulation like sweating, breathing, and heartbeat.

Angie: Diminutive of many names containing “angel”. Angels are messengers and warriors of Heaven, a realm souls go after death. Angel statues are also common grave markers. Children are also often told they have guardian angels, a being watching over them to protect them.

Claudia: No sure meaning has been found, but some think it comes from claudus, meaning “lame”, “limping”, or “crippled”, or clausus, which means “shut” or “closed”.

Beneviento: Good wind. Neapolitan spelling of Benevento, the name of both a province and its capital city, located in the Campania region of Italy.

Salvatore: Savior. Italian name. In the movie version (I specify as I have not read the book and the movie synopsis has more on the characters) of The Name of the Rose, the character Salvatore is hunch-backed and twisted, and has a history of not-really-acceptable religious beliefs. He was also tortured and falsely accused of witchcraft. He dies when a library is set on fire.

Moreau: Moorish, dark-skinned. French surname. Titular doctor in The Island of Doctor Moreau, in which said doctor performs disturbing and torturous experiments on people and animals, especially through vivisection, to make beastial humanoid creatures.

Karl: Free man, strong man, manly. Werner Karl Heisenberg was a German theoretical physicist who made notably important contributions to hydrodynamics, ferromagnetism, cosmic rays, and subatomic particles. Karl Marx was a German philosopher, economist, historian, sociologist, political theorist, journalist, and socialist revolutionary who believed societies develop through class conflict, and in a capitalist society this is the “ruling” class (the bosses) having power over the working class. He believed people should have equal footing and should and would inevitably fight for it. Karl Jaspers was a German existentialist philosopher and psychiatrist. His humanist ideals had him dissatisfied with the medical community’s approach to mental health and worked to improve it, and philosophizing on it after.

(IMPORTANT NOTE: Since I’ve seen accusations of the RE character and his influences being so, I feel I must state it here. Karl Heisenberg is NOT a Nazi. Both Heisenberg and Jaspers lived through World War II and neither were Nazis. Jaspers was blackwalled because of his Jewish wife. Heisenberg was forcibly drafted into the Army Weapons Bureau, but pre-war he had been repeatedly slandered as a “white Jew” and his career held back, and post-war became more political, worked against traditional primacy in the education system, and actively protested the government considering equipping the army with American nuclear weapons. Capcom reps have also stated that Karl Heisenberg has nothing to do with Nazis.)

Heisenberg: Calling mountain (could not find a specific definition, “heisen” means “to call” and “berg” means “mountain or hill”). Reference to Werner Karl Heisenberg, (explained above). Likely unrelated, but another well-known (in the US at least) name thief of Heisenberg comes from the popular TV show Breaking Bad as the alias/street name for the main character Walter White who takes the name and starts selling drugs when he is unable to afford medical care for his in-need child, but grows more twisted throughout the series. Also place name.

Berengario: Italian form of Berengar, which is derived from Germanic root words meaning “bear” and “spear”.

Cesare: Italian form of the Latin word Caesar, which is an imperial title like an emperor or empress. The word Caesar itself may come from caesaries meaning “hairy”. 

Guglielmo: Italian form of the Germanic William, meaning “vehement protector” or “desired helmet”

Nichola: Anglicized form of the Greek Nikolaos meaning “victory of the people”. Also a variant of Nicholas (Considered a female variant but fuck gender roles and the description says he.). This character is also referred to as Father like a priest I looked into saints and while I found no notable Saint Nichola (meaning on Wikipedia) there are multiple Saint Nicholases, most notably Saint Nicholas of Myra, also known as the Wonderworker and the model of Santa Claus. Stories of him include gifting gold coins through a window of a home for three nights to prevent three girls from being forced into prostitution, calming a storm at sea, saving three soldiers from execution, and chopping down a possessed tree. More connected to where his treasure is found, there is also a tale of him resurrecting three children who had been murdered by a butcher who had had intended to sell their meat as “pork” during the famine.

*BONUS TIME*

By that I mean these are less important so I did slightly less research and/or didn’t  feel like typing all the research so there’s less info, but it’s still relevant, so here you go!

Chris: A rare name in its own right, often a shortened version of names like Christopher, meaning “Christ-bearer”, and Christian, as in the religion.

Redfield: Literally red field. Fitting for the trail of blood in his wake because have mercy on any of his enemies, but regrettably including many of his friends and allies (rip in peace Piers Nivans). 

Elena: Shining light. Greek origin.

Leonardo: Strong as a lion. Italian, Spanish, and Portuguese version of Leonard.

Lupu: Wolf. Romanian surname. Fitting as the surname of the man we saw become a lycan before our eyes. 

Luiza: Renowned warrior. Polish, Portuguese, and Romanian name.

Iulian: Romanian name from the Greek iulius meaning “youthful” or “juvenile”, or ioulos meaning “downy-bearded”.

Vasile: Romanian name from the Greek basileus meaning ”king”. Vasile Voiculescu wrote a poem called Schimnicul, The Recluse in English, about varcolacul.

(Note: For those who don’t recall or didn’t notice his name in Ethan’s diary, this is Luiza’s husband.)

Rolando: Famous throughout the land. Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese variant of Roland.

Elba: Spanish form of Alba, which can mean “dawn”, “white”, or “elf”, depending on origin.

Dion: Shorter form of Greek Dionysios meaning “of Zeus”.

Wilson: Lineage surname, “Will’s son”. Very common surname in English.

Charlie: A name in itself but often a nickname for names like Charles meaning “man” or “warrior”

Graham: Gravelly homestead. Habitational surname, apparently derived from Grantham in Lincolnshire, England.

John: God is gracious. The most common name ever with the most variations.

Perlman: Ashkenazi Jewish surname. Also literal, “perl” possibly meaning “pearl” thus being an occupational name, or Perl being a woman’s name making it mean “husband of Perl”.

Emily: Rival. Latin name. 

Berkoff: Could be Jewish, Dutch, or German surname. Definition not quite certain, but likely related to birch trees.

Josef: German, Czech, and Scandinavian version of Joseph.  

Simon: He has heard. From Hebrew Shim’on.

Roxana: Bright, dawn. Latin form of Greek Rhoxane and Persian Roshanak.

Anton: Priceless, praiseworthy, flower.

Sebastian: From the Latin name Sebastianus which meant “from Sebaste”. Sebaste is a town in Asia Minor and comes from the Greek word sebastos meaning “venerable”.

Eugen: Well-born.Romanian form of Eugene. From the Greek name Eugenios. 

(Note: This is the man who lived in the house with the red chimney.)

Ernest: Serious. Germanic name.

(Note: This man is noted to be missing in a letter to Luiza and his diary is found with the Cannibal’s Plunder in Otto’s Mill.)

#Resident Evil #Resident Evil 7 #Resident Evil 8 #Resident Evil VII #Resident Evil VIII #Resident Evil Biohazard #Resident Evil Village #Ethan Winters #Mia Winters #E-001 Eveline #Jack Baker #Margueritte Baker #Lucas Baker #Zoe Baker #Joe Baker #Rosemary Winters #Rose Winters #Mother Miranda #The Duke #Alcina Dimitrescu #Bela Dimitrascu #Cassandra Dimitrscu #Daniela Dimitrescu #Donna Beneviento #Angie Beneviento #Claudia Beneviento #Salvatore Moreau #Karl Heisenberg

[thoughtslikeaminefield]

Summary: Ruby and Jojo get hit by a sex curse; this time, they need Dean’s help.

Characters: Ruby 2.0 x Dean Winchester x Jo Harvelle

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, magical-dick/male-gaze bullshit, probably too much commentary and emotional complication, why am I like this, I’m sorry, sometimes I can’t help myself, fisting, brief choking

Words: 2,600

Author’s notes: written for @negans-lucille-tblr 7ks of the Week Challenge. My days were: Monday (Dean), Tuesday (Fuck Or Die), and Wednesday (Ruby 2.0 + Jo Harvelle); and fills the #hickies square for @AnyFandomGoesBingo.

Here’s the other time Ruby and Jojo got hit by sex pollen.

Title is from the song “Dangerous Woman” by Ariana Grande.

+++++

“I’m beginning to think you do this on purpose,” Dean says, draping his jacket over the kitchenette chair.

“Yeah, because I love being in excruciating pain,” Ruby sneers.

Dean shrugs. “What with you bein’ a demon and the blood-drinking, you could be a total pain slut for all I know.”

“Will you two shut up and put something in me, I’m dying over here,” Jo gripes, and both Dean and Ruby move to the bed.

“Sorry, sweetheart.” Dean climbs onto the mattress beside Jo, mirroring Ruby on her other side.

Jo’s a mess of sweaty tangled limbs and hair. Dean fumbles for a minute because this is Jo and he’s always tried to be so careful with her to not cross any lines or send the wrong signals.

But she needs this, and she looks so good, cheeks and chest flushed pink, her mouth open and panting, and her pussy swollen and glistening.

Before Dean got there, Ruby and Jo tried taking care of the spell on their own as they had once before, but this spell is different.

“We need a dick,” Ruby stated succinctly, bemoaning that she couldn’t call Sam “because of that time Meg possessed him and scared the crap out of Jo.”

“And before you get any grand notions about your junk, the spell calls for dick no matter the recipient, so if it’d hit you, we’d be calling Cas.”

“Well, that’s just downright nasty. What if ya don't like dick?”

“That’s the point, genius — angst. Just fuckin’ hurry up.”

Dean rests the back of his hand across Jo’s forehead, and she moans.

“You’re fuckin’ burnin’ up,” he says, quickly shucking his flannel to the floor and darting an accusatory glance to Ruby.

The way she looks at Jo like she’s something precious sort of makes him feel like an asshole for being so pissy with her. They both care about Jo and want nothing bad to happen to her. He quietly decides to dial back the snark and just do what needs to be done.

Before he can get his t-shirt off, Jo’s tearing at his belt and pants. Ruby’s got a hand between her own legs, hovering over and mouthing at Jo’s tits, and Dean almost laughs at just how off the fucking grid the entire situation is.

Their lives are a god damned Hellscape of shitty choices and shittier consequences, only… what else is he supposed to do.

Jo lunges up and forward just as she pulls Dean’s not-quite-hard cock from his half-open jeans.

“Whoa,” he gasps.

Everything moves fast and frantic until they have his jeans pushed down his thighs and they’re taking turns laving along each side, under and around, making him harder by the second.

They kiss each other in between licks, hands buried between each other’s legs, moaning and whimpering.

“Jesus,” Dean breathes, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, not knowing where the fuck to put his hands because right now those two are like a minefield of who fucking knows.

He stays still and quiet, hands fisted at his sides, eyes closed, listening to the breathy sounds of Jo and Ruby getting each other off and him hard. Then one lithe, damp hand grips his wrist and directs him to a mass of silken hair.

“Fuck my mouth,” Ruby mutters. “And don’t be gentle.”

Dean blinks rapidly, opening his eyes to take in the scene below him.

Jo’s shifted to her back, legs spread wide, and Ruby... Ruby’s wrist-fucking-deep in Jo’s pussy.

“Holy fff...” Dean groans and grips himself tight.

There’s a fire in his gut and his brain starts to spin. He wonders if this thing is contagious and if now he’s gonna need dick, too, just from physical contact with them.

“She loves taking my fist,” Ruby says quietly, fondly, a little smirk tugging the corner of her mouth. “That’s how I figured out to look further into this spell because last time this is all she needed.”

Dean considers all the things he could say to alleviate the intensity of the moment — childish quips or challenges to the demon, but he’s got a precarious job to do; he needs to focus.

Besides, there isn’t anything to make jokes about regarding what’s playing out before his eyes. Jo is gorgeous and determined, and Ruby’s holding the moment as something sacred — he can feel it in the energy surrounding them.

“You’re holdin’ up pretty well,” Dean murmurs, moving his gaze to where his fingers are surprisingly and very gently fingering Ruby’s rich, mahogany tresses. When his eyes meet hers, they’re almost black and not because she’s a demon.

“Said I needed you to fuck my mouth, what’re you waiting for?”

He didn’t take the time to notice before, but she’s strung out beyond comprehension. She’s as out of breath and wrecked as Jo but empty and-

“Please,” she whispers, brow furrowed and jaw tight with disdain for having to beg.

Dean doesn’t miss a beat, however smooth he moves, twisting the length of her hair around his fist and wrist as he feeds himself to her.

He’s fucked a lot of mouths in his time. He’s learned to like things he didn’t know about. He’s taught a thing or two. But the sheer headiness of fucking the mouth of his brother’s demon lover is a whole new thing.

She’s desperate and hungry, gripping his base in the hand that isn’t inside Jo, swallowing him down her throat and back out until she gasps, and spit spills over her chin.

“Fuck me,” she says, taking him back inside her mouth.

Dean tightens his grip in her hair and angles her but only just a bit because it all feels so good and he’s fucking fascinated with everything she’s doing.

Ruby pulls off him again, breathless and a mess. “Wanna make you come so you last longer for her.”

She dives back down on him and doubles down.

“Shit,” Dean breathes, squeezing his eyes shut tight and gripping her face in both hands. “Hold on... just... fuck.”

Ruby stills and relaxes her jaw and lets him take over.

He fucks into her with abandon, muttering and grunting. Her tongue dances under his length and she hollows her cheeks before flashing her gaze up at him. Her lashes are thick and dark and he could probably get lost in her eyes if he didn’t know better.

Then he hears Jo rambling about how good Ruby takes his cock, and that tips him over the edge. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chants and huffs a surprised laugh as he slips from her mouth.

Dean slumps back onto his haunches, mind blown and lungs heaving as Ruby swipes the back of her hand across her mouth before turning back to Jo.

“Get the rest of your clothes off,” she instructs Dean.

He shakes his head to try and get his thoughts straight, but it doesn’t help, so he does what he’s told. He unwinds his feet out from under himself and sits on the edge of the bed to quickly untie and remove his boots and push his jeans and boxers to the floor.

Before turning and stretching out alongside Jo, he takes a deep breath. As he settles beside her, ghosting calloused fingers over her ivory skin, he asks, “How many times’ve you come?”

“I dunno.” She shakes her head, tears trickling from the corners of her shuttered eyes. Random tendrils of her pale hair cling to her forehead, cheeks, and throat. Dean marvels at how her skin ripples with goosebumps from his fingers dancing across her collarbone and down between her small, tight breasts.

“At least a dozen,” Ruby answers, sounding broken and worn out. She leans over Jo and presses a long kiss to her lips as she slowly twists her wrist back and forth to gently pull her hand from Jo’s body.

Jo whimpers and Ruby tries to soothe her. “It’s OK, Jojo. Dean’ll take care of you. I’ll go find Sam.”

“This’s some male-gaze bullshit,” Dean mutters, moving to carefully situate himself between Jo’s messy thighs. “So fucked up.”

“What’re you a feminist now? Just do your job, Sparky.”

He glares at her as he refocuses on Jo, smoothing his rough hands up her thighs and spreading her open with his knees. “Jo,” he beckons her attention, gripping himself in one hand to stroke his rapidly hardening cock. “This’s a shitty situation, but I promise I’ll do it right, OK?”

Jo nods. “I know. I trust you.”

Her eyes are clear enough if only for a second, to give Dean confidence that even if she weren’t cursed she’d want this. All the times he thought they might, all the times he wanted to, and this is how it happens.

She reaches for his hips and tugs, and he falls over her, bracing himself on one hand and using the other to drag the fat head of his cock up and down her puffy slit.

“Don’t tease,” she breathes, desperation and longing returning to cloud her gaze.

“OK. Just relax, I don’t wanna hurt you, you’re so swollen.” He groans as he notches just inside her, and she hisses.

Ruby scoffs. “I just had my entire fist up in there.”

“Yeah, well, doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt,” Dean replies, settling over Jo. He pushes stray hairs from her damp forehead and dips in to kiss her as he gently thrusts.

Ruby watches him take his time, slowly working his way inside, exploring Jo’s mouth, tenderly cradling her neck. She can’t help but touch herself. Her body aches and her mind reels. She and Dean have never been friendly, but she wants what he’s giving Jo in a vicious way; her body needs it.

“More,” Jo begs, canting her hips and arching her back. She grapples at him, not knowing what to touch. “Dean, fuck me.”

He grits his teeth and plants both hands in the bedding at the most advantageous points to find a groove, pushing up over her. He curves his spine beautifully and drops his head back with a heavy sigh, fully seated inside her. “Jesus fuck.”

“Please,” she whispers, hooking her hands under his arms and over his broad shoulders. “You feel so good, it hurts but it’s so good, fuck me please.”

Dean brings his head back upright, and it’s like a switch flips.

Even from the side, Ruby can see that his eyes are on fire, consuming Jo with heat. His chest puffs and deflates in an exaggerated way as he tries to manage his breath.

And then he starts to move.

Ruby really should go find Sam and get rid of this spell for herself, but she’s riveted to the moment, watching Dean work Jo open, untangle the mess, take her apart piece by piece. As convoluted as the spell is, the outcome is a thing of beauty. Ruby’s never seen Jo quite like this — maybe it’s because she’s usually the one delivering the fuck, but Jo’s absolutely wrecked under Dean’s deliberation, and Ruby can’t walk away.

Ruby slides in next to Jo to get a better view of exactly what Dean’s doing to her. She slips three of her own fingers inside her soaking wet center and rubs her clit, but it does little to slake her thirst for how Dean’s slamming into Jo.

“How does she feel?” she asks, raking his smooth and scarred skin with her eyes.

“Fuckin’ tight and wet, better than anything except that mouth of yours,” Dean grits, dragging his ravenous gaze to Ruby.

Her breath catches in her chest. Just as he ramps up to rail into the wild thing underneath him, there’s a clear promise in his eyes that she’s going to get the same.

Jo gasps and shouts. “Dean! Oh god...” She fiercely spasms around him. It’s brutal and beautiful to watch and feel, and he can barely hold on, but he levels up and fucks her through it, pushing to kneel, gripping her hips to hold her up, and hammering into her.

Jo screams and claws at the bedding, tears streaming over her ruddy cheeks as Dean’s thrusts jolt her toward the head of the bed.

“C’mon, come again for us,” Dean pants through a wolfish grin. “Such a good girl for us.”

Good girl.

Ruby huffs an embarrassing sob and clenches around her own fingers. “Fuck,” she whispers, closing her thighs on her hands, rolling to her side. “Please come again, Jojo.”

Jo shrieks and bows upward. She’s suspended by Dean’s hands and the salacious exorcism he’s conducting.

Dean groans on a chuckle. “There we go. Hooo.” He slows his thrusts and gently settles Jo’s now limp, breathless form back to the mattress then drops over her again onto all fours to catch his breath.

Ruby watches his broad, sweat-sheened back rise and fall as she throbs around her fingers, waiting.

When he brings his gaze to hers again, she squeezes her fingers impossibly tighter.

His eyes are dark and greedy as he backs off of Jo and turns his attention to Ruby. Her skin prickles like she’s plugged into an electrical outlet. She weakly pushes herself to sit upright with come-slick hands and her legs fall open of their own volition.

Dean coolly reaches out and grabs a handful of Ruby’s hair as he closes in on her, and Ruby gasps at the delicious pain webbing her skull.

“Your turn,” he growls, yanking her into him like a ragdoll and claiming her mouth with his. As he fucks her mouth with his tongue, he swings his legs to sit on the edge of the bed and positions her to straddle him, splitting her open exquisitely.

Relief washes over her immediately followed by a slow burn from the inside out. She doesn’t have words for how it feels to have Sam’s brother, the man who’d rather gut her with her own knife than give her the time of day, painfully hard and deep inside her, fucking away a spell that was created to kill her.

Dean has words, though.

“You’ve wanted this for so long, haven’t you?” he murmurs against her throat between sucking bruises into her smooth, golden skin. He can’t deny there’s a deep, dark part of himself that’s thought about her, too

He wrenches her hair and sinks his teeth into the juncture between her neck and shoulder. When he pulls back to survey the damage he’s rendered, he grins wide. “Looks good on you.”

He flicks his gaze to hers, and she’s gone.

Ruby rides him like a wild mare that he doesn’t care to tame. She’s tight and slick and savage, digging her fingernails into his shoulders. She finds the right pace and slams her mouth into his.

Dean reaches up and wraps the hand that isn’t tangled in her hair around her slim throat and squeezes. He pulls out of the frenzied kiss to breathe.

“Sure you don’t like pain?” he whispers.

Her eyes roll back in her head and she squeaks, convulsing in his lap and coming violently.

She’s a mess as Dean picks her up, staying inside her, and strides the short distance to the other bed. He lays her back to the mattress and hooks his hands under her knees, holding her open wide to fuck her into another blazing orgasm.

As she clamps around him one last time, he lets himself go, roaring into the darkened hotel room.

After a shower, and once the girls are safely nestled together, satisfied and sleepy, Dean makes his way to his car, praying he doesn’t have to admit to Sam just how much he liked the taste and feel and smell of Ruby all around him.

After all, it was just a job.

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MJ's Fanfiction Masterlist

#dean winchester smut #jo harvelle smut #ruby 2 smut #dean x jo x ruby

[sunkissedspider]

You Do? | Tom Holland

MASTERLIST

***taglist is open!!! just send an ask or message me and i’ll add you :)***

***requests are open!!! just send an ask or message me your request if you have one :)***

pairing: university!Tom Holland x university!reader

summary: even though you and Tom were roommates, you didn't have a relationship outside of that, but what happens when you tell him that you have feelings for him, and what happens when he gets jealous?

warnings: angst, Tom kinda being a douche for a lot of this lol, smut, unprotected sex (please wrap it before you tap it), making out, language, fluff, etc.

listen to: Let’s Fall in Love for the Night - FINNEAS (it doesn't work perfectly for this, but i love that song lol)

word count: 4.4k+

a/n: thank you so much @spideysquackson13​ for requesting this, this was so much fun to write. plus, i'm a sucker for frat Tom/Peter lol. i hope i did your idea some justice :) sorry for any spelling and/or grammar errors!!

    "Come on, just tell him!" Melissa, your study partner and close friend, said, chuckling quietly as you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

    "Why the hell would I do that, Mel? It's not like he's gonna feel the same way." You laughed, trying your best brush off the subject.

    "But he might, you never know." She shrugged, taking a sip of water as she looked around the courtyard from your spot underneath one of the large trees.

    "It's Tom. He's not gonna feel the same way about me, I barely even talk to him, to be totally honest with you."

    "He's your roommate... how do you barely talk to him?" She asked, confusion prominent on her face and in her voice.

    "He's usually in his room, or at a party, or..." You droned, not wanting to finish your sentence.

    "Or fucking some girl that isn't you?" She said, finishing your sentence with a smirk on her face when she saw how your jaw clenched slightly.

    "Yes, Melissa, fucking some girl that isn't me." You said through gritted teeth, trying your best to not get too upset.

    "How long ago did you last have sex, anyway?"

    "Uhm," You said, closing your eyes in thought as you exhaled, trying your best to sift through your mind as quickly as possible. "Six months?" You said, the answer coming out as more of a question.

    "Six months?!" Melissa yelled, most of the people outside near you two whipping their heads around to look at the both of you.

    "Yes, Mel, six months, and will you please quiet down?" You said, trying your best to cover your face with your notebook.

    "Who was it with? I don't even remember if you were dating someone six months ago." Melissa asked, the both if you waving to some of your fellow classmates that walked past you.

    "Well, I wasn't dating him... Uh, do you remember Carl? We both had him in our fourth lecture... Brown hair, brown eyes-" You started.

    "Oh! Yeah! The guy that... looks like Tom." She stated, looking at you with piercing eyes, silently telling you to get over yourself and to just confess your feelings to him already.

    "Ha ha." You say in a monotone voice. "I was just horny and he was nice and hot, so he and I fucked. It... wasn't the best. I mean, I only kinda got off. But, whenever I hear the girls that Tom brings home through the walls... holy shit. Goddammit, why can I just fucking tell him? He and I are barley even friends, it's not like I'd be risking anything." You say, cursing yourself for being so stubborn with your feelings.

    "Honestly, love, I don't know what to tell you. You seem pretty fucking infatuated with the guy. I would just tell him. Just to get it over with and so that I could stop worrying about it." She smiles, before standing up. "I'll see you later, okay? I've got a date." And with that, you're waving her goodbye, your eyes wandering the courtyard from your spot underneath the tree, eyes eventually landing on Tom's.

    "Shit!" You mutter under your breath, quickly putting your belongings into your messenger bag, standing up and quickly walking to your car, trying your best not to connect eyes with him again.

    You're practically speechless whenever you're around him, and you really didn't want to act like an idiot right now, especially with the fact that Tom was surrounded with his friends and... girls.

    "Fucking perfect," You think, your cheeks not only temporarily stained red with embarrassment, but with anger over the fact that you had fallen for such a player that very obviously had no interest in you.

***

    "Hey, uh, Y/N?" Tom asks, tapping your shoulder as he walks into your shared kitchen.

    "Y-yeah?" You stutter, taking your earbuds out, pausing your music to give him your full attention.

    "You're fine if we throw a party here sometime this weekend, right? It'll be... small. Just a few friends and some beer, at the most." He lies, knowing that at least 80 people would be flowing through your shared house and backyard.

    "Oh, yeah. That's fine." You smiled, trying your best to hide your blush from Tom.

    "Alright." He smiles, turning to walk away.

    "Actually," You start, getting Tom's attention, causing him to turn towards you. "Can I tell you something?"

    "Yeah, sure," He smiles, taking a seat next to you on one of the other bar stools. "What's up?" He asks, his eyes locking with yours.

    "Well, I..." You start, rubbing one of your hands onto the neck of your neck as you let out a few nervous chuckles. "I kinda... have a crush on you? God, I sound like a little kid. And I'm not expecting you to feel the same way or anything, but I felt like I should tell you." You rush out, not meeting his eyes until you hear a burst of laughter.

    You turn your head to look at Tom, and he's doubled over, laughing his ass off at your confession. "Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Fuck, that's funny." He says, wiping a tear caused by laughter from his cheek, meeting your eyes. "Wow, Y/N L/N has a crush on me? I feel so honored." He says with a sarcastic, mocked out version of shock and surprise in his voice, before standing up, grabbing his beer before walking upstairs to his bedroom.

***

    "You told him?!" Melissa asks, shock evident in her voice as you sit across from her, sipping on your whiskey, trying to forget how embarrassed you were.

    "Yes, and I fucking regret it so much." You say, slamming your head onto the surface of the table at your and Melissa's favorite pub to go to together... which just so happens to be Tom's favorite pub to pick up chicks at.

    "Okay, don't freak out and don't look behind you, but Tom just walked in here." She says, her voice low, trying to go undetected by Tom.

    "What?!" You ask, your head immediately whipping around, eyes meeting with Tom's almost instantly, the smug grin on his face growing even wider when you blush heavily.

    "I said not to look!" Melissa scolded, bringing your attention back to her.

    "What did you expect me to do? If you tell me not to look, I'm obviously going to look!" You say, downing your drink before grabbing your bag and standing up.

    "Where are we going?" Melissa asks, standing up and grabbing her bag as well.

    "Fucking anywhere, Mel. I don't wanna be around him."

***

    "You're still having the party, right?" Melissa asks, sitting down at your desk, playing around with your makeup as you sit on your bed, doodling mindlessly on the blank parts of your notes, not studying like how you originally wanted to.

    "Yeah, I guess." You say, looking around your room, the sunset bearing slightly through your curtains, washing the room in a slightly orange tint.

    "Wouldn't it be tonight, then?" She asks, Turing slowly to look at you, a devious grin on her face.

    "Yeah... it's Friday, isn't it?" You ask, looking up at her.

    "Why the fuck are we not getting ready, then?!" She asks loudly, standing up and walking over to your bed, sitting down next to you as she looks at you with excitement and wonder.

    "I don't really feel like partying tonight, Mel. Plus, I don't wanna be around Tom. I haven't talked to him since Wednesday." You shrug, groaning loudly when Melissa pulls you to your feet.

    "We're fucking partying tonight, love." She says, looking at you, a small smirk coming to up to your lips, knowing that you'll end up having a blast tonight since Melissa alway brings out the more confident side of you. "You're gonna go get a shower, shave everything... you never know what might... happen." She winks, smiling widely at you before continuing. "I'm gonna go grab some more outfits and makeup from my place in case we can't find anything you wanna wear in your closet, were gonna put on some bomb makeup, and then, hopefully, get laid tonight... God knows that you at least need it." She laughs, teasing you lightly.

    "All right... Okay, all right, I can do this. This is gonna be fun." You smile at her before she grabs her bag, blowing a kiss at you before leaving through your door.

***

    "What about this?" You ask, turning around to show Melissa one of your outfit choices.

    "In the nicest way possible, love... You look like my gran." Melissa smiles, trying her best to stifle a few giggles.

    "Ugh, rude!" You say, a fake shocked look on your face, both of you laughing loudly.

    "What about... this?" She says after thinking for a few moments, moving to pick up a black tube top, black bralette, and high waisted shorts.

    "Only if I can wear sneakers with it. If I'm gonna be drunk, lord knows I won't be able to walk in heels." You laugh, Melissa playfully rolling her eyes.

    "Fine, but only because I love you... and I think it'll look super cute." She laughs, handing you the outfit and some high top Converse.

    After both of you and Melissa get dressed and get your makeup on, you both walk downstairs, and see that the supposedly "small" party is in full swing.

    People are in the corners making out, half full red solo cups are sprinkled all around the kitchen and living room, beer kegs placed strategically everywhere... and that's not even the end of it. The party ends up being even crazier outside; a trail of people leading out of the back door, the pingpong table being used by different people for various games, splashes of water coming out of the pool as people jumped in, and there was Tom. Right in the thick of it.

    "Melissa, I don't know if this is a good idea." You said, turning to see her smiling and waving over to a group of guys, one of them being Jeremy, a guy that she had been seeing for a while.

    "Uh, you've met Harrison, right?" She asks, looking around for him.

    "Kind of? I mean, I've seen him around the house and stuff, and I know that I have biology with him, but I don't-" You say, soon getting interrupted by Melissa as she starts to shove you over to him.

    "Just go say 'Hi'! Whats the worst that could happen?" She asks, a big smile on her face when she sees how horrified you look.

    "He could hear me!" You answer, causing a loud laugh to leave her lips, before she blows you a kiss, turning around to walk to Jeremy.

    "Okay," You say quietly under your breath. "Nothing bad is gonna happen... He's only beautiful and best friends with the guy that you can't stop thinking about, but you'll be fine."

"Hi." You say, walking over to stand by Harrison, his eyes meeting yours as he smiles, a red solo cup in his hand.

    "Hi," He smiles, eyes widening a bit when he sees your outfit. "You're Y/N, right?"

    "Yeah," You breathe out, trying your best to relax next to him. Your breath hitches slightly when you see Tom walk by you, his jaw clenched tightly in anger, but you honestly didn't even want to know what he was upset about

***

    "Oh, shit! I'm sorry, do you want a drink? I forgot to ask earlier, you're just really fun to talk to." Harrison says, smiling at you as he sits up from his spot beside the pool.

    "Oh, it's fine. I can go get one." You say, standing up before making your way over to one of the beer kegs that Tom happened to be at.

"Hey, Tom," You say, leaning over towards him to get his attention. "Can you grab me a beer?"

    "Grab your own fucking beer." He says, smiling so sickly sweetly that it makes your teeth hurt.

    "What's wrong-"

    "It's nothing." He dismisses, getting ready to walk away before you place a hand on his arm, stopping him from walking away.

    "What's wrong, Tom?" You ask, concern in your voice as you look at him straight in his big, brown eyes.

    "I don't want to talk about it. And even if I did, I wouldn't talk about it with you. You're not my fucking friend, Y/N L/N. You'll never be my friend. You're just my roommate. So just leave me the fuck alone." He says, his voice stern, ripping his arm from your grip, putting on a smile as he walked over to his friends, laughing loudly at a joke that someone had made.

    "What was that all about?" Melissa asks, standing net to you, handing you a beer as you both look at Tom.

    "I don't... I don't fucking know. You know what? I don't fucking care. I'm just gonna go talk to Harrison and get drunk." You say, causing Melissa to laugh as you walk over to Haz.

***

    "So, how long have you and Tom lived together?" Harrison asks you as you both walked around, far enough away from the party so that you probably wouldn't be interrupted.

    "Uhm, since the beginning of this term." You say, looking into his blue eyes as you continue walking.

    "Why do you live with him if you guys don't get along?" He asks, turning to stand and look at you, the moonlight shadowing over his face.

    "What do you mean?" You ask, turning to look around the sky that outlines his figure.

    "I saw you guys fighting at the party... Tom can be a proper arsehole at times." He chuckles, causing you to laugh.

    "He really can be." You breathe out, your eyes meeting with his blue ones.

    "Can I kiss you?" Harrison asks, one of his hands softly going over your neck, the other resting on one of your hips.

    "Okay..." You manage to squeak out, eyes closing as Harrison dips his head down to your lips.

    You lips are that close to each others, until you hear a laugh... Tom's laugh, and you get interrupted.

    "What... the... fuck is going on here?" Tom says, laughing loudly at how you and Harrison look. Your eyes are wide in shock, and Harrison is just angry, his jaw clenched tightly as his hand still rests softly on one side of your neck.

    "What do you want, Tom?" Harrison asks, crossing his arms in front of him.

    "Oh, nothing... Just making sure you two weren't banging it out in our garden." Tom says, chuckling lightly.

    "I'm sorry, Y/N." Harrison says, leaning in close to you.

    "Don't worry about it, it's fine." You smile, walking away from the two boys, meeting Melissa by the pool.

    "What happened?" She asks, laughing at how your eyes are still blown wide.

    "Well, uh, Harrison and I almost kissed, and then Tom walked over and started being dickhead again, so, uhm, now I'm here." You say before downing a beer from a red solo cup that she had handed you, knowing beforehand that you'd definitely have a horrible hangover tomorrow if you kept drinking like you were.

***

     "So, he still won't talk to you?" Melissa asks, her eyes meeting with Harrison's as they listened to you talk about how Tom had been avoiding you ever since the party.

    "Not at all. Not even a 'Hi' when I pass him in the kitchen. It's been a fucking week. I just don't understand why he's so mad." You say, your head banging onto the table of the coffee shop you were in as you let out a quiet groan.

    "He may be my best friend, but I'll never understand him. I mean, nothing even happened between you and me, we were drunk, shit happens. We didn't even kiss, but now he's all pissed off at you and me." Harrison says, his crystal blue eyes looking even bluer when paired with his tight black t-shirt.

    "At least he still talks to you." You say, lifting your head up to meet his eyes.

    "Yeah, true. I just... I don't know what to tell you, to be honest. He's acting like a little kid." Harrison says, causing Melissa to laugh quietly.

    "Maybe just try talking to him? It might work, but we all know that guys are stubborn and never really listen." She says, giving you a sympathetic smile.

***

    Another week passes, and you and Tom still have talked. It's around three in the morning when he walks through the door, and you're sat on the couch in the living room, some random reality show is play in the background when you finally speak up to him.

    "Tom," You start, causing him to stop in his tracks to the kitchen and turn around to face you. "What's going on here? Please just talk to me." You say, standing up to walk over to him.

    "It's nothing, just go back to the t.v." He says, trying his best to dismiss you and walk to his room.

    "Tom, please." You plead, grabbing onto one of his arms to stop him from leaving.

    "I said it's nothing, Y/N." He says again, his eyes immediately softening when they meet yours.

    "I can handle the 'no talking' thing, Tom, but I can't handle thinking that you're mad at me. So if you wanna go back to only talking to each other when we're planning a party, then that's fine, Tom. But I can't pretend like I don't want you, because I do, and I know you don't want me back. And I'm sorry, but I can't be around you if you're going to use my own feelings against me like you did at that party." You say, tilting your head back as you try to not let your tears fall.

    "You think I don't want you?" He asks, tears pricking up in his eyes.

    "Of course I do, Tom. You laughed at me when I told you that I have feelings for you." You said, scoffing as small tears fell down your cheeks.

    "I only laughed because I thought you were lying. I didn't want to tell you that I have feelings for you too because I thought that you would've counteracted it and say that you weren't being serious." He says, his eyes straining a blood shot kinda of red.

    "Then why were you such an asshole, Tommy?" You ask, his hands holding yours.

    "You seemed like you wanted to be with Harrison at the party, and I got mad. I'm usually not an angry drunk, but I guess I was that night, and I'm sorry." He laughs quietly under his breath, before returning to a more serious tone. "I really am sorry, though. I treated you badly, and you, of all people, deserve that the least."

    "I really like you, Tom." You say, laughing quietly at yourself and how you sound like a little kid confessing to their crush.

    "I really like you too, Y/N." Tom says, leaning his forehead against yours.

    "You do?" You ask breathlessly.

    "Of course I do."

    You sucked in your breath quietly, your nose touching with Tom's as he leans in slightly, your lips just inches away from each others. Your heads seemed to move in sync, your lips moving to  touch each others at the exact same moment.

    The kiss started off as soft and sweet, and it felt perfectly familiar. Even though you had never kissed Tom before, it felt as if your lips were made for each other's. Until the kiss grew heated, and passionate, your hands moving to grab his brown curls loosely as he rested his hands on your hips, he grip tightening as you pulled him closer to you, deepening the kiss.

    You let out a quiet moan when Tom moved his lips down to your neck, sucking lightly onto the soft, sensitive skin.

    "Tom... please." You moaned out, head falling to the side as you let Tom's mouth explore the soft skin of your neck.

    "Are you sure?" He asked in between the wet, openmouthed kisses he was leaving all over your neck and the barely exposed skin of your chest.

    "Fuck, yes. Please." You plead, Tom's eyes meeting with your until he grips at your thighs, causing you to jump up and wrap your legs around his waist, and then his lips are on yours again.

    Your teeth sink into his bottom lip, making him dizzy, causing him to accidentally crash your back against the wall as he carries you to his room.

    "Fuck, sorry." He says, causing you to laugh and shake your head, your hands cupping his cheeks, bringing his face closer to your, your lips connecting yet again.

    Before you know it, you're practically tossed onto Tom's bed, his sheets puffing up around your head before Tom moves in between your legs, settling his body there as he continues to kiss you deeply.

    Both you and Tom let out moans and groans when he starts to grind his hips against your heat, your hips bucking up instinctively. Tom places his hands on the backs of your thighs, gripping tightly to flip the both of you over, you now being on top, the already passionate kiss deepening as you put your boy weight into it.

    Tom reached to the hem of your loose t-shirt, tugging it slightly to signal that he wanted it off of you. You lifted your hands above your head, causing Tom to sit up and rip the shirt off of you, your bare breasts now exposed to him. He sat there like a deer in the headlights for a few minutes, staring up at you in awe. You reached your hands to your waist, grabbing his wrists and placing his hands just underneath your breasts.

    "You can touch me if you want to, Tom." You breathe out, a quiet giggle leaving your mouth.

    Tom's hands move up to cup your breasts, squeezing lightly as he sat there, mouth open slightly as you both let out heavy breaths.

    "Fuck, you're so beautiful." He says, sitting up more to connect your lips again, his teeth sinking into your bottom lip, causing you to groan and grind your hips against his, gripping at his hoodie for him to pull it off.

    When he does, he lays back down on his back, causing you to move forward and connect your lips to the skin of his chiseled chest, causing him to moan quietly when your teeth scrape against the already red skin, your nails scraping down his chest as well.

    Tom's hands toy with the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down slightly, causing you to stand up and take them off, Tom staring at your naked body in awe once again. He lifted his hips up, trying quickly to remove his sweatpants and underwear, his cock springing free up against his stomach. Your mouth watered as you took a look at his cock, moving your body over to the bed again, straddling Tom as he sat up more to kiss you with heated passion once again.

    He looks deeply into your eyes when you both pull away, his cock lined up with your entrance.

    "Ready?" He says, gulping as he stares up at you.

    "Yeah." You breathe out, finally sinking down onto him.

"Oh my god." You moan, your head rolling back.

    "You okay?" He asks, kissing your chest and the parts of your neck that he can reach with ease.

    "Yes." You say, moaning more as he sucks dark purple marks onto the tops of your breasts.

    The both of you moan in sync as you start to bob up and down on his length.

    "Fuck, you're tight." Tom groans out, his face inches from yours as you rode him.

    Tom leaned up, connecting his lips with yours as your speed increased, the sound of your skin slapping together quietly filled the room. His hands went to grip at your waist, laying down fully as his fingers held onto your soft skin tightly.

    "God, fuck, Thomas." You moaned, loud whimpers leaving your lips as Tom's grip on your waist tightened even more, sure to leave small bruises, not that you were complaining.

    "Jesus Christ, you feel so fucking good." He groans, his hands leaving your waist to hold onto your breasts, alternating between massaging them and rolling your nipples between his thumb and index fingers, both of which had you moaning and whimpering loudly as you rode him.

    He moved one of his hands to your clit, rubbing quick circles as he started to thrust up into you, practically unable to restrain himself from the pleasure you were giving him.

    You practically screamed as your bobs on his cock met with the pace of his upward thrusts, his cock hitting a place so deep inside of you that it made your head spin.

    You leaned down his kiss him again, the pace of his fingers on your clit never faltering, as you neared your high.

    "Holy shit!" You screamed, your walls clenching tightly around Tom's length, causing him to groan loudly as his thrusts up into you sped up, choked out, breathless moans from you following his actions.

    "God, fuck! Shit, are you gonna cum?" He groans, trying his best to get you to reach your high before he reached his.

    All you could do was moan and clench around him, signaling to him that you were close, and with just another deep, upwards thrust from him, practically screaming as you came undone above him, your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

    His high followed soon after yours, him groaning loudly as he came, his cock twitching deep inside of you, his mouth hung wide open.

    He finally stopped thrusting upwards into you when you breathlessly moaned out, "Too much, Tommy.", a quiet giggle following.

    Tom pulled you down onto him, your chest flush against his as his cock stayed resting inside of you.

    "How long had it been for you?" He asked, his beautiful brown eyes meeting yours, the moonlight streaming through the curtains framing his face perfectly.

    "Too fucking long." You say, the both of you laughing.

    You giggled quietly when he connected his lips to yours, the both of you lazily for what seemed like hours.

    "Be mine?" Tom said after pulling away, your foreheads resting against each other's.

    "Is that a request or a demand?" You say, laughing underneath your breath.

    "It depends on how you answer." Tom says, a breathy chuckle leaving his lips.

    "I'll be yours, Tom. Of course I'll be yours." You say, your lips connecting with his again in another sweet kiss.

__________

@ertherealrose​ @peter-tiingle​ @petertiingz​ @fallinfortom​ @spideyyeet​ @am3l1a-24

#tom holland smut #smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x reader smut #fanfiction #tom holland x y/n #fanfic #tom holland angst #tom holland x reader angst #tom holland x y/n angst #tom holland #spider-man #frat!tom holland #university!tom holland

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: That Old Thing Back {One Shot} ***

Charlie Hunnam x Ex-Wife Reader

Warning: Cursing, Angst, POV Changes, LOTS OF WORDS, NSFW, Mentions of miscarriage

Words: 8,888k 

Note: Okay, this is a first for Charlie. I am not familiar with his mannerisms at all, so I hope this hits well. If not, anon, I am sorry. As always, thank you all for reading! Also, y’all see 8888 words. 8888 must mean something right.

 ***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you meet someone, within minutes, you know what you want from them. After the first conversation, you know what capacity you want them in your life. After a week, you know just how you feel about them. Charlie could attest to this. When he first saw you, he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. He was mesmerized by you and just sat and marveled as you danced around the great lawn of the park he happened to be in that afternoon. You looked carefree and so full of life. Nine other women were dancing with you, but he could only see you.

 That led him to stalk you for the remainder of the afternoon. Once the class was finished, he followed behind you and listened to your conversation as you walked through the streets and fell deeper under your spell. Your voice was like a finely tuned melody that sounded better than any song he’d ever heard. He sat in the same restaurant you did and just watched you as you spoke and laughed. Every story you told was so animated he felt like he’d been right there when it happened. You were the most captivating creature he’d ever seen.

 By the time he knew what had happened, he’d pushed his entire day to the side and had followed you, and he didn’t regret one thing. When he least expected it, you confronted him and called him out on his stalker antics, and that only made him want to know you more. It was the perfect imperfect meet. From that day, the two of you had been inseparable. You spent all your free time together. When he told you his aspiration to be an actor, you didn’t laugh or tell him to forget it and be more practical. You were his biggest supporter, and he fell harder for you.

A whirlwind, passion-filled eight-month romance led to him proposing and begging you to spend your life with him. When you excitedly screamed yes and leaped on him in the middle of the restaurant, everyone around you elated and showered you with applause and well wishes. The two of you didn’t bother waiting. A month later, you were married and more in love than ever. Neither of you were prepared when CJ came around, but it made your love deeper, your marriage stronger.

 You were by his side as he struggled through audition after audition, waiting for his big break. You were there rejection after rejection, always having his back and pushing him never to give up. You were his backbone, and when that role came, you were right there for him. The rolls came in one after the other, which meant he was gradually becoming busier and busier. Before you knew it, he was always on a movie set, and you were always home with CJ.

 No one prepared him for the struggles of marriage, a baby, and his budding career. He was warned about it by his agent early on, but he swore the two of you had what it took to withstand any and all struggles. He hadn’t factored himself in as a struggle. Thanks to his rapid rise to fame, everyone wanted a piece of him, and when they took their piece, there was none left for you. The arguments increased, and the miscommunication and unsaid words took a toll. The space that formed between you was wide enough to classify them as chasms.

 It seemed like he couldn’t do anything right. Everything he said was wrong. When he took a weekend off of work, it was wrong because you found it clear he would rather be working. When he tried to get close to you for any affection, you were always tired from your day with CJ, and every time you tried, he was too busy. He got lost in the Hollywood lifestyle, the parties, the socializing, the life that was bullshit, and had nothing on you or CJ. He turned into the monster in the fairytale, the monster that mothers warned their daughters about.

 He’d lost track of how many times he’d heard you crying, lost track of how many times he’d struggled with what to do, how to be. It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt you, he just didn’t know how to be who you wanted, how you needed him to be. The last straw was him missing your birthday to remain at the Cannes Film Festival, the festival he got pictured in a compromising position. One he was entirely at fault for, but one where absolutely nothing happened. The last thing you said to him was, “Your priorities are all fucked up, if you don’t want us fine I’ll solve the problem.”

 He came home to divorce papers and an empty house and not too long after you were in the hospital suffering from a miscarriage. A miscarriage the doctors blamed on stress, a miscarriage you blamed on him, a miscarriage he blamed himself for. After that, you made it clear you were done with him. He had the thought to contest and fight for you, but he knew the same problems would still be there. He had to face the facts that you’d probably grown too far apart, and that he would only cause you pain. He had to let you go. So, let you go he did.

 Groaning, he rubbed his face trying to keep the sleep at bay. The sound of the waves at his Malibu home was the soothing back noise he needed. It was the same noise that propelled him deep into his state of depression. It was a sate he’d been fighting for the last year. He’d been mostly successful, but tonight was hard. Tonight, was the anniversary of what would have been your seventh wedding anniversary.

 The whole night he’d been haunted by memories, haunted by feelings, and haunted by every regret he’d held on to for the last near two years. He thought of scenarios where he should have said something when he hadn’t said anything. He thought about the times he didn’t do something when he should have dome something—anything. He regretted everything that led to this point, the point where he had no wife and a son he was missing that was growing up without seeing him every day.

 “Fuck!” His shout was loud, and though the beach was vast, it still somehow echoed around him. There was no escaping you. He’d tried like hell every day, especially when you moved said the most hurtful words you’d ever said to him.

 -Fourteen Months Earlier-

 “Leave Charlie; you’re good at that.”

 “That’s not fair, Y/N, and you know it!”

 You spun around with pure vitriol radiating from you. “Fair! Do you know what’s not fair? It’s not fair that I’ve been by your side through everything, supporting you and loving you fiercer than a mother lion to her cubs, birthed your son, held you down through everything, the struggle, the good times only to have you do this!”

 “You’re the one who left me, Y/N!”

 He knew he shouldn’t have thrown that at you. He knew it was a bad idea.

 “Let’s be real. You left me long before I left you! Plus, what was there to stay for, a man who turned out to be my biggest mistake?”

  -Present Day-

 With his phone in hand, he pulled up your contact. It was one that he stared at so often—too often, he opened up his messages and did the only thing his head told him to.

 MSG My Wife: It’s insane today would have been our 7th anniversary. Seven years. The day I said those vows to you were the happiest day of my life until the day you told me about CJ. I thought seven would be just the beginning for us. I fully expected seventeen, twenty-seven, thirty-seven, seventy. I probably shouldn’t be sending this, but there was no way I could fight it. God, Y/N, this has always been my favorite day. Now it’s one of the most painful.

 He tossed his phone on the side table and dropped his head back, praying he could forget and move on. It was clear you’d already done it.

 As if that wasn’t enough, to add insult to injury, four days later he was staring down at the date your divorce was finalized. It was irony at its best and a just punishment for him. He’d been suffering the last year, so much, so pain felt like his best friend. He just wallowed in everything he’d lost, wallowed in it with no intention to pull himself out. It was that same pain that had him on this interstate driving out of LA to the place he shouldn’t be going anywhere near.

 When he pulled up inside the yard, he sat in his mustang for much longer than he should have. He looked around at somewhere he was familiar with but only loosely. He looked at the toys scattered on the lawn and smiled before it slipped and was replaced with sorrow. After taking a deep breath, he got out and walked to the door. He hesitated before his knuckles rapped on the door, then he waited.

  ~~~~~~~~~

-Y/N-

“CJ, please put this hoverboard away before I break my neck!”

 You wiped your hands on the dishtowel as you made your way to the front door. Your son was single-handedly working overtime to break every bone in his body. You’d heard that raising a boy would be difficult, but you were not prepared. He was a handful and a half, especially since he was the carbon copy of his father. Not only did he look just like him down to his blond hair, but he also had the same interests—skating, hoverboarding, biking, and soccer. Those were just the beginning of their similarities. With your head lost in thought, you didn’t see the fist-size fire truck that was lying in wait for you just in front of the door. You hopped and did your best football scrimmage to avoid the tragedy you foresaw.

 “Jesus Christ! Charles Matthew Hunnam, Junior!”

 You could hear the barrage of footsteps as he came running. He knew when you used his entire name; he was in trouble. As sure as the sky was blue, he came bounding around the corner with his blond curls bouncing and honey-chocolate sun kissed complexion on his way to you.

 “I’m sorry, mommy,” he sheepishly breeched as he bent to the floor to gather the death traps he’d left for you.

 “How many times have I told you to pick your toys up when you’re finished?”

 “I’m sorry, I forgot.” He looked so sad now and gave you those blue specked hazel eyes that were such an interesting mix of yours and Charlie’s that you were always a sucker for.

 Groaning, you shook your head affectionally. “Try to remember, honey,” you softly reminded. CJ nodded and threw his arms around your midsection. These were the things that made your day. The doorbell rang then, reminding you someone was there.  “Take them up, please.”

 “Okay, mommy.” You turned from him and continued your walk to the door. When you swung it open, you were shocked half to death to see Charlie standing on the other side.

 “Charlie,” you gasped out. Once CJ heard his name, you heard the clatter of the toys he must have just had heaped in his hands.

“Daddy!” You heard him running, and in seconds, he bound into Charlie’s waiting arms.

 “Ah! Hey, buddy!” Charlie stood and held onto CJ like he was his most favorite thing in the world; it was the same way CJ held onto him.

 You stood there and watched them half warmed by the sight of father and son and their evident love for each other and half seething that Charlie was there in the first place. He knew better than to show up unannounced. The only way this worked was if you had time to prepare yourself to see him. This was unexpected.

 “I missed you, daddy.”

 “I missed you too, CJ. Gosh, you look like you’re growing like a weed,” Charlie surmised, placing CJ back onto the ground.

 “I am, mommy says I’m half her height.”

 “Oh, is that right? So half her height means you’re still a ways behind me. I guess I better go back to eating my veggies,” Charlie joked. CJ found it funny, even if you didn’t.

 Clearing your throat, you brought the attention of your ex-husband to you. his smile faltered. “What’re you doing here, Charlie?”

 “I uh—I wanted to see CJ.”

 You dropped your head and sighed. This was going to turn into an argument.

 “I wanted to see you too, daddy. Can we do something? Can I show you my new bike? Then can we go down to the lake, and I can show you my new trick?”

 “Hold on there, bud. We gotta ask mommy,” Charlie said on a chuckle.

 “Can we mommy, please, please, please, please!” CJ was pouring on all the emotions and sweetness. You didn’t have the heart to say no.

 “Go ahead, have fun. Please, no broken bones!”

 “Thank you, mommy.” His hug was quick before he was grabbing hold of Charlie’s hand to yank him away. As he did, Charlie looked back to you with a melancholic smile, one you refused to read into.

 When you walked back inside, you were the one to pick up the toys you’d just told your son to pick up. You didn’t mind this time; you needed something to keep yourself busy. Picking up CJ’s toys turned into rearranging some of the things in the living room, and that turned into sweeping, then vacuuming and finally mopping. You could hear the jolly screams and laughs from inside the yard, and though it made you happy to hear how happy CJ was, it also filled you with a hint of sadness, one you’d worked hard to ignore.

 Every so often, you found yourself drifting to the windows to watch on as the two of them played. Every time you looked out, they were doing something different. Once it was tricks on BMX bikes, another time it was weird acrobatics like handstands and flips, and when you looked out once and saw them actually building mud monsters, you nearly lost your shit at how adorable they were together. That was when you stepped up the cleaning and began cleaning the kitchen.

 Once the cleaning was finished, you moved on to starting dinner. An hour passed then two, and you were in the thick of things. You’d only intended on cooking lasagna, but that turned into lasagna with sautéed broccoli, and garlic bread and dessert. It was apparent to you that you were anxiety cooking. Before you finished, though in they bounded downright filthy but over the moon.

 “Mommy, look!” CJ ran to you completely covered in a mixture of dried and wet mud with grass stains. He looked ready to throw his arms around you before you scurried behind the kitchen island.

 “Charles Matthew Hunnam, don’t you dare get me dirty.” His laughter was loud.

 “Fine, but look what we brought you.” He held out a bouquet of handpicked flowers of all varieties. A smile stretched across your face. You knew it was going to happen before it did.

 “You picked me flowers?”

 “Yup, it was daddy’s idea, then we had a competition who could pick the most. I won,” CJ happily boasted. The tears welling in your eyes could not be stopped from spilling.

 “Thank you, CJ, they are gorgeous. I love them almost as much as I love you.” CJ’s smile was just as wide, and your heart melted.

 “If you weren’t as filthy as a lost boy, I would hug you and kiss you, so if you want that hug and kiss, you better get showered.”

 “Okay, mommy.” CJ began to run away but stopped and came back to stand before Charlie. “Are you going to leave now?” His tone was low, and he looked like he was about to cry.

 “Uh—well, I hadn’t planned on staying this long.”

 “No! No, no, stay please, please, please. Mommy said she was going to make lasagna. It’s my favorite,” CJ rattled on.

 “Mine too,” Charlie admitted. You knew it.

 “Mommy, daddy loves your lasagna too; can he stay for dinner with us? Please, please, pleeeeeeease!”

 “CJ, I’m sure that your dad has things he has to do.”

 “No, he doesn’t, I asked outside he said he has nothing to do. Please, mommy, for meeeeee.” His whine was becoming incessant, sighing you accepted defeat.

 “Okay, only because I’d do anything for you.” CJ smiled widely again then hugged Charlie before he ran off, leaving the two of you standing there.

 “Uh—I can take shower duty, or have you transitioned him to alone ones?”

 “He’s all yours.” Charlie nodded and walked up the stairs where CJ just disappeared from.  

 Once alone, you looked at the flowers in your hands and ignored the flutter in your belly and the sight of one of your favorite wildflowers, dab smack in the middle of the bouquet, the one only Charlie knew about —poppies.

Nearly forty minutes later, dinner was underway, and it felt like old times, the times during your marriage before things went to shit. CJ talked about everything under the sun. He told Charlie all about his soccer schedule and who his friends were in school this month, he even told him all the gossip in his class. It was like he was making up for the last three weeks he hadn’t seen him. That made you sad, but you knew it was just how life was. Charlie was now a full-fledged movie star, and though his star rose years ago, it was still rising. Thanks to his insanely successful show, Sons of Anarchy, his name was a household one, and it came with thousands of thirsty groupies.

 Charlie laughed loudly as he threw his head back, clearly amused by one of CJ’s stories. He truly looked to be enjoying himself to the fullest. You’d long known that CJ was the best thing that had ever happened to Charlie. You’d spent long nights talking about just how much he loved that little boy and everything in you loved to hear him talk about how enamored he was with him. You knew that would never change, no matter what happened between the two of you.

 A little more than halfway through dinner Charlie’s eyes met yours, and it felt like forever ago that you’d looked into them. They looked different, sadder, more detached, and full of something that looked like pain. He looked different to you now than he had months ago. Maybe he was different, you thought.

 “Mommy, can I have dessert?”

 Snapping out of it, you smiled and nodded to your son. “Absolutely, a slice of pineapple upside-down cake coming right up.” You stood and walked into the kitchen to fix three plates of the dessert. When you came back, the two of them were doing thumb wars. Shaking your head, you put the plates down and tried not to think about how much different things could have been.

 The three of you ate your sweet treat and continued to emulate the perfect family. Once dessert was finished, Charlie was the one to initiate doing the dishes something you remembered he promised on your wedding day to do when he loved you the most to show you he cared and appreciated you. There was no way that was the reason now. While he did the dishes with CJ, you busied yourself with finding yet another thing to clean. It was a habit at this point.

 After the tidying was completed, you sat in front of the TV to watch an episode of CJ’s favorite cartoon, The Last Airbender. Through the entire episode, he and Charlie whispered and chatted about the episode then pretended to be from warning nations while they did their bending. It was then you faced how much you missed nights like this. It had been close to two years since the three of you spent time together like this. It was done on purpose. You didn’t think you could handle it. You had no idea how you were now.

 Before you knew it, the time had run away, and it was now almost ten. After telling CJ to get into bed, hit the bottle of your go-to liquor, hoping to find some form of strength to hold you up. Having Charlie there playing doting dad and husband as if he was no longer a part of your life hurt, it hurt a hell of a lot. You still had some animosity about the way things ended.

 When you made it upstairs, Charlie was sitting at the foot of CJ’s bed looking as if he were about to read him his bedtime story. “Oh, it’s cool. You guys go ahead,” you began.

 “Mommy, can you both read to me, like how you used to,” CJ pleaded. That was like a knife to the gut. You’d made CJ your top priority your whole like, and when you and Charlie began to have problems, his happiness was the only thing the two of you agreed on. You didn’t want him to feel as if he were missing anything, but right now, you saw he felt the void.

 “Of course, baby.” Walking around the bed to CJ’s pillow, you settled in your usual place and lifted your bare legs into the bed to cuddle beside your son. CJ dropped his head on your chest, where he knew he could listen to your heart. It was an action he’d always done ever since he was a little boy.

 You kissed the top of his head before you began. “Ready?” CJ nodded. Charlie held out the book to you, but you shook your head. “I’ve got it memorized. You keep it.”

 You took another breath, then began. “A mother bird sat on her egg. The egg jumped. Oh, oh! said the mother bird. “My baby will be here! He will want to eat. I must get something for my baby bird to eat! She said. I will be back! So away, she went.” CJ burrowed deeper into your side, making you smile. When you looked up, Charlie’s eyes were glued on the two of you. Nodding, you signaled for him to take over.

 Charlie cleared his throat and took a breath. “The egg jumped. It jumped and jumped and jumped! Out came the baby bird. Where is my mother, he said? He looked for her. He looked up; he did not see her. He looked down; he did not see her. I will go and look for her. So away, he went.” He read it without looking at the book. He just stared at CJ.

 With your turn, you read the next few pages, but you couldn’t keep your eyes off Charlie. He watched you as you watched him, and it was the most perfect thing. For the next ten or so minutes, you read the book to your son together. When he spoke, he never once looked down at the pages, never once broke the eye contact between you. The only time he glanced from your eyes was to look into his son’s. There were so many instances you had to stifle the flutter of your heart, and countless times, you found yourself looking over his hands and forearms. Even when he caught you, you didn’t seem to care. His voice coupled with how enamored he looked with CJ and vice versa and how rugged he looked, was wreaking havoc on you, especially when you remembered the miscarriage. Once you remembered that, a bitter taste filled your mouth, which brought you back to your reality.

 “All right, prince charming, that’s it,” you gently informed. CJ was still wide awake.

 “Aww. Does that mean you’re leaving now, daddy?” Charlie sighed, and it brought your attention to him. He looked equally as distraught as CJ did. The pit of your stomach knotted. This was never the fun part.

 “I’m afraid so, buddy.”

 “No. Stay, please. I don’t want you to go. I won’t see you for weeks. I miss you. Don’t you miss me? It’s like you don’t like being here with me or with us,” CJ rushed out. You could hear the pain in his voice, and it broke you in two. Looking at Charlie, you could see it was the same for him.

 “Of course, I miss you, buddy. I miss you more than I have the words to say. I always want to be with you, to be here, but you know that’s not our life anymore,” Charlie carefully explained.

 “Baby, it’s all right. Your dad loves you more than anything in this world,” you assured, hoping to smooth things over. It didn’t look like he believed one word you said.

 “Bud, I’ll be back tomorrow, I promise.”

 “I don’t believe you!” With that, the silence in the room was heavy. Charlie looked at his wit’s end with how to console him, and you knew what to do, but you didn’t think you had the strength. You could feel CJ’s tears, and that was the last straw.

 “Look at me, CJ.” Slowly he rose his head to you. you wiped his cheeks and kissed his forehead. “He’ll be here when you wake up.” It was a whisper because that was all you could muster.

 “What?” Charlie’s shock was evident. You looked at him and sighed.

 “You should stay. He needs this—he needs you.”

 Charlie searched your eyes before he spoke again. “Are you sure?”

 No, you weren’t sure. This was probably a bad idea for you, but for CJ, it was the best solution. Nodding your response, you looked back to CJ.

 “He can stay, mommy?” His smile was right back where it should be.

 “He can stay love, but you have to go to sleep.”

 Yayy!” CJ threw his arms around you to show his gratitude and excitement. You kissed him once more then stood.

 “Bed.” CJ kissed your jaw, then dropped back onto his bed and snuggled in his covers.

 “I’m going to stay; it’s been a while since I’ve watched him sleep,” Charlie whispered. Nodding, you walked out the door, leaving it slightly ajar.

 Again, you busied yourself preparing the guestroom, hoping the movement would distract you from not only thinking but worrying about the ramifications of your decision. This would be the first time in almost two years you’d slept under the same roof. Divorced meant over and done with. Of course, divorced with a child didn’t give a shit about over and done. He’d forever be in your life.

 The message you’d received from him a few days ago reminded you of just that. It was the most unexpected thing, the most heartbreaking message you’d gotten from him in a long time. It was so heartbreaking you had to lock yourself in the bathroom with the faucet and shower running to hide the sounds of your bawling from CJ. You ended up hiding in there for close to an hour, and even when you reemerged, you were emotionally unstable for the remainder of the evening. You were so emotionally unstable; there was no way you trusted yourself to respond, so you left it on read. What the fuck were you supposed to say to it anyway?

 After changing the sheets and straightening up a few things, you retreated to your bedroom for some quiet time, quiet time you desperately needed. You didn’t know how to get through the next twenty-four hours. You were struggling. Staring in the mirror, you objectively looked at yourself. You saw the truth, you always had. You just couldn’t afford to let that truth slip to the surface.

 The knock at the door had you leaping to your feet. When you opened it, there was Charlie, and your stomach liked what it saw.

 “Fast asleep?” He nodded and looked down at the floor.

 “I don’t have to stay in the house. I can sleep in my car,” Charlie suggested.

 “I’d do anything for you—for CJ.” The way he said it had your heart racing.

 “It’s fine. I have space. Come on.” You walked out of your bedroom and down the hall leading him to the guestroom you’d just prepped. When he walked into the room, you watched as he looked around.

“I just changed the sheets; they’d been on for weeks. It should be all good.”

 He turned to you, nodding his head. “Thank you, love dove.”

 The name hit you like a mack truck. You audibly “oofed” as you wrapped your arms around your midsection, instantly feeling the effect and the loneliness it brought on. He used to always call you that name, a day would never go by without him whispering it in your ear, against your neck, or your lips. You were brought back to happier times where you’d be locked in your room in bed, just ravaging each other, and he’d whisper it the entire time.

 Charlie must have been going through the same thing you were because he looked regretful before he spoke. “Sorry. Old habits.”

 Again, your stares lingered, and the air in the room was heavy and hot. It was like the last year or so didn’t happen, like he hadn’t broken your heart. He still had an effect.

 “Good night.” It was quickly said, and your exit was just as quick. You spent the next forty or so minutes in the shower. You hoped it would help to calm you down, but it didn't do that, it just gave you more anxiety.

 When you got out, you began to wonder if you’d placed towels in the room. When you saw them in your closet, you realized you’d brought them here mistakenly. Once you wrapped in your robe, you made your way to his room to drop them off. You knocked once, then twice, but neither knocks were answered. Deciding you could chance sneaking in to put the towels down, you opened the door. The sound of the shower running gave you your answer as to why he didn’t answer. Quickly you walked to the bed and put the stack of grey towels on the bed. As you neared it, out came Charlie in all his wet glory. In your shock, the towels fell to the floor and had your eyes snapping shut.

“Oh, god, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. I forgot to leave some towels. I knocked; you didn’t answer.”

 The room was silent; he didn’t speak. You wondered what he was doing. Was he trying to cover himself? Using your hands as your eyes, you felt for the towels you’d dropped. In seconds frustration filled you when you couldn’t find them. Opening your eyes for a second, you saw the towels, but when you looked only a centimeter up, there was his junk right in front of you. He hadn’t budged from his spot and hadn’t even made an attempt to cover himself.

 You meant to look away immediately, but that didn’t happen. He was maybe half a foot from you, close enough to touch. Charlie had always been the most attractive man that you’d seen. He’d always done it for you. With you on your knees before him, you realized that hadn’t changed. A son, a miscarriage, a messy ending to your marriage, and a divorce had done nothing to temper how much you always seemed to want him or be attracted to him.

 You were kneeling there in wide-eyed amazement. It had been years since you’d seen him like this. The deterioration of your marriage meant you spent lots of nights lonely and unloved. Before you gave him divorce papers, it had been seven whole months since you’d been intimate. When you added on the four months it took for the divorce to finalize and the year of being a divorcee, you hadn’t gotten laid in over two years. It was shameful because right now you knew why only he had an impact, only he would do.

 “It’s okay,” Charlie whispered. His voice was shaking, and he sounded hopelessly breathless. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before in great detail.”

 Again, you remembered all the things you’d done to him in great detail over the six years of your marriage. Jumping to your feet, you tried your hardest to look away from his inviting appendage. You held out the stack of towels to him with your head turned to the side and waited for him to take them. When his hands grasped the items, they brushed yours and sent thousands of electric sparks through your hand and directly into your heart.

 Your eyes met again, and they lingered on each other. You hoped he couldn’t hear your heart, hoped he couldn’t tell what a fraud you were.

 “I should go,” you whispered.

 “You don’t have to.” His response awoke a need in you that you thought you’d buried. You knew what he was suggesting. Everything in you wanted to take the gentle suggestion and cross the room to him, but then what.

 Groaning, you peeled your eyes from his and turned. “Yes, I have to. Good night Charlie.” Those were the last words before you made your rapid exit.

 The following morning you awoke to the scent of food being prepared. When you looked at the clock, it was almost ten. Usually, you’d be up by eight. You’d slept in. Quickly you brushed your teeth and pulled on a pair of leggings then went downstairs. As you neared the kitchen, you could smell the evidence of what promised to be a delicious breakfast. You turned, and there was Charlie standing over the store in his tank cooking away. Good lord help you he’d buffed up even more, you thought. Times like these you wished things had been different. You missed mornings like this. Charlie looked up and smiled when he saw you. As you approached, his eyes roamed your body before his eyebrows knitted together.

 “What?”

 “Is that my hoodie?” You looked over yourself and realized your error. It was normal for you to sleep in his clothes, but you didn’t realize you still worse it.

 “Nope.” It was a lie but one he couldn’t fully prove.

 Charlie scoffed but didn’t speak again for a long time. You took the opportunity to bring up his impromptu visit.

 “You can’t just show up unannounced Charlie. That is not okay. You can see CJ whenever you want I have never kept the two of you apart but just showing up here—you can’t.”

 Charlie nodded and but kept his eyes down. “I know, I’m sorry. I just—I really missed CJ, and I had to see him, so see you. I couldn’t stay away. I wanted to talk.”

 What the hell were you supposed to say to that, you thought. Sensing your speechlessness, Charlie spoke. “I’m sorry about last night. I was out of line.”

 “Let’s not talk about it, CJ will be down any minute.”

 “I have to talk about it. I’m losing my mind. I’ve been losing it for the last near two years, and—I’m struggling,” Charlie admitted. His candor shook you. Half of you wanted to know more, but the other half was too scared.

 “Charlie, it’s fine. Let’s move on.”

 “I can’t. I can’t be like you. You have everything so put together. You’ve pieced this life together without me, and I can’t seem to piece any life together without you—without CJ.”

 It was then CJ came running down. It should have been sooner because you were absolutely ruined now.  You and Charlie stared at each other. He was daring you to speak, to acknowledge what he’d just dropped on you.

 “Daddy!” CJ jumped onto Charlie bringing his attention to your son. You took the reprieve to dip into the half bath to pull yourself together.

 You tried to wrap your head around what he’s said, tried to make sense of it. After five minutes, you still couldn’t come to terms with it, so you did the next best thing, pushed it aside. When you walked back out, CJ was sitting at the dining table, as was Charlie.

 “Ready to eat, mommy?”

 “Absolutely.” You sat at the table and dove into the food, all the while avoiding Charlie’s eyes. Through breakfast, he and CJ talked and joked with each other. It was a welcomed chatter because it took the attention off you.

 Once breakfast was finished, you cleaned the dishes while CJ got himself dressed for a playdate he’d been looking forward to the whole week. Now that Charlie was there, he refused to go. It wasn’t until Charlie promised he’d still be there when he got back did CJ agree. When the two of them came down, CJ was dressed and ready just in time for him to be picked up. You thanked Claudia for setting it up the playdate and waved goodbye to CJ from the front door.

 When you turned around, Charlie was leaning on the steps watching. You hesitated closing the door to enclose yourself in a confined space that had plenty of surfaces for him to bend you over. When you did, you quickly walked back to the kitchen.

 “We have to talk, Y/N.”

 “No, we don’t. There is nothing to talk about.”

 “Bullshit. After yesterday, last night, even in the kitchen this morning. We have plenty to talk about,” Charlie responded, following you through the house.

 “Charlie, don’t.”

 “I have to. Are you happy? Like really happy? It’s been a year. Are you happy? Is this what you wanted? Did you want our son feeling like a consolation in our relationship?”

 “Are you happy? You’ve gotten what you wanted.”

 “Me?! Y/N, you gave me divorce papers. You left our house and never came back,” Charlie shouted through clenched jaws.

 “Oh right, I’m the big bad wolf. You know how to fight for a role, but you have no clue how to fight for your marriage, your son. Classic.” You slammed the kitchen fridge unsure why you’d opened it in the first place.

 “Don’t pull that. I fought, I came to you over and over, begging you not to do it, pleading with you. You refused to listen.”

 “What did you come to me for Charlie? What the hell did you prove to me? What did you show me? What was I going back for? The same bullshit? The same treatment?! In all the times you came begging and pleading, you never once showed me how things would change. You just didn’t want a divorce under your belt. You didn’t want the press to get wind of it.”

 “That’s bullshit! I wanted my wife; I wanted my son! You didn’t want me. When did you stop loving me, Y/N?”

 You looked at him incredulously. He had to be fucking kidding, you thought. Your anger was rising by leaps and bounds, and you knew the next words out your mouth were going to be venom. “Is the weight of it all too heavy now, Charlie? A year later, a year after you switched up and changed? A year after you showed me time and time and again what was important, who was important. You showed me I didn’t mean shit; CJ didn’t mean shit. I was not going to stay and turn into those Hollywood couples who hated each other and only remained for the spotlight. No!”

 “You gave up on me,” Charlie whispered.

 “Fuck you! You gave up. You gave up on me and us long before I left you those divorce papers. You did.” You walked away because you could feel your tears spilling over, but you turned around back to him, tired of hiding the fallout of his actions. “You know what makes all of this so much worse? My friends told me this would happen. They told me before we got married, told me to slow down, be careful with you, and I defended you. I defended you till kingdom come. Look where we are, Charlie! Living in a perfect lie!”

 “I don’t want to live this lie. I miss you, Y/N. I miss CJ. I miss our life; I miss our family. I’m miserable,” Charlie dropped.

 His tears ran down his cheeks, and you flared your nose. This was always your weakness. Charlie had always been in touch with his emotions, but his emotions had to be overwhelming for him to cry.

 “Good. You sowed this Charlie. You brought all of this on. My baby--,” you began, but the pain was too much. Charlie sobbed and dropped his head back.

 “I’m sorry,” he said as he approached you. You steadily backed away from him, not wanting him to touch you.

 “Y/N,” Charlie began as you shook your head.

 “No. I’m not doing this with you. I refuse.”

 Charlie quickly caught you before you turned and kept you facing him. “You can’t run from this Y/N. Face it with me, please.”

 You kept a straight face, refusing to cry any more. You refused to allow him any closer than he already was. You wouldn’t survive it this time. Charlie grunted out in frustration when he realized you were hell-bent on keeping him at bay.

 “Y/N!”

 “What do you want from me, Charlie?” You shot death rays right at him.

 “I want you to say anything! Scream! Yell at me! Just something to show you fucking care.”

 “Why should I care? Why the hell should I give one flying fuck?”

 “Because I’m still in love with you!”

 The words felt like a slap in the face. You’d imagined how they’d sound coming from him during the whole divorce process, during the whole year after the divorce. You were convinced he didn’t love you anymore for him to have treated you the way he did, for him to have done what he did in Cannes. The stress of it brought on your miscarriage.

 Though you’d wanted to hear them, you hadn’t prepared to hear them.

 “I love you. God, I can't keep pretending like I'm okay with any of this. I can’t pretend that it doesn’t kill me to be away from you, to be away from CJ. I can’t act like I’m thriving or happy. I’m not. I’m miserable. I wish I could press rewind and go back and better, do better. I wish I knew better then, as I know now. I fucked up, and I regret it more than I’ve ever regretted anything in my life. If I had been a better man, none of this would have happened. If I’d only been the man you deserved our baby—our princess would be here right now. I will have to live with that for the rest of my life, the pain that I caused your miscarriage, the pain that I broke our vows, that I broke your heart, I broke us.”

 Charlie dropped his forehead to your collar, and his tears dropped across your chest. They felt like acid peeling away every barrier you’d built between him and your heart. He was saying everything you want him to, everything. He wasn’t holding anything back. They were words you’d desperately wanted to hear.

 “I’m sorry, love dove. I never wanted to give up on you--on us. I loved you so much. You were my world until CJ. Then you became my universe. I lost myself. I lost sight of you and me. I lost sight of the man I was and wanted to be. For that, I will always be sorry. Losing you and CJ, it broke me. I stand here a broken man. I had to find me again. It’s been hard, but the root of me is you and my son. My family. You have always been what mattered, and I regret I ever lost that, that I ever made you feel like you weren’t my everything.”

 One lone tear rolled down your cheek, and that was just the beginning. When Charlie swiped it away with the pad of his thumb, the flood gates opened. You bawled uncontrollably, all your emotions finally catching up to you. Charlie wept with you, and that was how the two of you stayed for countless minutes.

 When you opened your eyes and realized how close he was, you sniffled. Slowly the two of you inched to one another. Before your lips touched, both of you hesitated. “Fall back in love with me, love dove.” He whispered.

 He really thought you’d ever fallen out of love with him. “You’re an idiot if you think I’ve ever fallen out of love with you.” The hope you saw in Charlie’s eyes set your belly fluttering. It was overwhelming. Charlie claimed your lips in a soft but passionate kiss that took your breath away. It was so intense you felt as if you’d been possessed by sheer desire. The kiss began timid and soft, but in seconds, it had turned into a lustful and sensual soul transference. Charlie’s hands gripped your hips and pulled you flush against him before he lifted you in his arms.

 Wrapping your legs around him, you kissed him back with as much heat as you kissed you. Soon the two of you were walking through the house blindly looking for anywhere. Charlie plopped you onto something, and the backs of your knees said it was the kitchen island. Quickly both of you stripped each other. He pulled off his hoodie from your body as you peel his shirt off. Charlie cupped your breasts when he realized you weren’t wearing a bra then dipped his mouth to your mounds. Instantly you moaned and hugged his head to your flesh.

 Charlie nipped and hypnotizingly sucked your skin, bringing you more and more ecstasy. It had been so long since you’d felt like this; you didn’t want to think about anything else but the sensations. Charlie pushed you back onto the island and brought his lips down your stomach to your hip. Once there, he pulled off your leggings in one fluid motion. His beard tickled your skin and had you wriggling underneath him. Charlie’s groan was loud when he realized you wore nothing under those leggings.

 In seconds he’d draped your legs over his shoulder and reclaimed claimed ownership of the most intimate part of you. He moaned as he lapped at your wetness and teased and pleased your body. You bucked your hips against his lips, feeling your orgasm barrel toward you. Everything in you said it was going to be a catastrophic one. You panted and gasped his name as your body wildly thrashed, unable to control it any longer.

 “Aah, yes, right there. Yes, Charlie, yes, yes!”

 Your scream was loud, and the tightness of your legs around his head was enough to suffocate. Charlie didn’t panic. Instead, he lifted your lower half into the air and continued his feast, not caring if you were overstimulated or not. Your screech echoed off the walls of the kitchen, and you tried to pry him away from your sex. He refused to budge even when you’d unwrapped your legs the best you could. Yet another orgasm ripped through you, sending a gush of moisture all over his mouth and beard. Charlie groaned, gripped your breasts, and squeezed hard enough for you to know just how tightly wound he was.

 When he pried your legs from around him, you felt the renewed fire and quickly slid off the island to drop before him. You hurriedly stripped him eager to have him. Once he was free, his heavy cock bobbed in front of you. Wasting no more time, you slid him into your mouth, ignoring your gag and took every inch he was blessed with. Charlie shouted and hugged your head to his cock, keeping him lodged tightly in your throat. Sensing the low levels of your air supply, he pulled back enough to give you a brief reprieve. It was all you needed and more than you wanted.

 Slamming him back into your mouth, you lodged him in your throat again, all the while moaning enthusiastically. Charlie’s hands never left your head just as his mouth never closed. Moan after moan fell from him as you sucked and slurped his length. In no time at all, Charlie was thrusting into your mouth hell-bent on finding his long-overdue release. Just as you were finding a groove, Charlie pulled from your mouth with a loud “pop” before he pulled you up and pushed you onto the island.

 With you bent over the island and your ass poked out for him, Charlie rubbed his cock across your soaking folds sending shivers through you. He bent to your ear and kissed you.

 “I love you, only you. Endlessly for eternity.” It was the same thing he’d said the night of your wedding before he joined you for the first time as husband and wife. When you peeped behind you and locked eyes with him, you knew the two of you had an understanding. Charlie kissed your back then snapped his hips forward, harshly, and completely filling you to the hilt. You shouted and gripped the island. Your knees bucked from the sheer pleasure of just this. When you clenched around him, Charlie, have you just what you wanted—a rough tryst.

 Every slam into your core had you clenching around him. Each thrust was more bruising than the last, and each one brought tears to your eyes. They weren’t hurt tears; they were a mixture of relief and complete joy. You shouted his name over and over, not caring how needy or desperate you sounded. You could feel how on edge he was; his body shook every time he filled you, and every time you said his name, he shouted yours.

 When Charlie began jackhammering into you clearly lost in his pleasure, you left planet Earth. Only he could have you like this. Only he could fuck you into outer space. You knew he was close, and the second he whimpered behind you, you pressed back into him, throwing your ass back onto him. Charlie sucked in a breath, and his whimpers intensified. The slap to your ass was the last thing you needed to be pushed over the edge, an edge you dragged him over. Charlie grunted and groaned as he filled you with every ounce of his love.

 It took several long moments for the two of you to come down from your sultry sex bubble. After having you across the island, you rode him until his toes curled, and he saw stars on the kitchen floor leaned against the same island. By the time you’d both stopped, hours had passed. Neither of you were fully satiated. As Charlie hugged you to him still buried deep within you, he tipped your chin so you were looming at him.

 “Marry me again.” Shocked, you searched his face for his meaning.

 “You’re not serious.”

 “I am. Will you be my wife again?” the gleam of silver caught your eye, and you looked down to see him wearing your engagement and wedding ring on a chain around his neck. Your world shattered. He’d worn them this entire time. Locking eyes with him again, you knew he could tell you realized what he was wearing.

 “All this time?” Charlie held up his hand to show you the silver wedding band he still wore.

 “I promised forever; I wasn’t done with it.” Your tears fell, and so many emotions filled you; you had no idea which one to go with.

 “I have to do whatever it takes to stop my heart from being broken, Charlie,” you whispered.

 “I’ll never break your heart again. I know how it ends. I know what it means. I can’t risk my life without you or CJ anymore. I can’t.” His tears welled, and you believed him.

 “Surrender to me, love dove. Surrender to me as I can only surrender to you.” His voice was pleading with you. Closing your eyes, you listened to your soul, the place where no fear lived. When you looked at him, you trailed your thumb across his bottom lip.

 “Give them back.” Charlie looked confused for a few seconds before he got it. Quickly he yanked the chain from around his neck and slid the rings off to hover them over your finger before he locked eyes with you.

 “Never again will we be here. Never again will I lose us,” Charlie forcefully vowed.

 “Never again will I walk away,” you responded. He looked overwhelmingly emotional then, but you could see him holding as much of it back as possible. When he slid the rings onto your finger, both of you sighed as if you both felt instant relief.

 You knew this was a new beginning for the two of you but also for CJ. You knew that neither of you would ever again make the same mistakes.

 “I surrender,” you both whispered together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#that old thing back one shot #Charlie Hunnam #charlie hunnam fanfiction #charlie hunnam x reader #Charlie Hunnam x you #Charlie hunnan x black reader #black fanfiction #angst fanfic #charlie hunnam smut

[crystal-moon-101]

Ben Gen 10 - Live Reaction Review

Right, so since I’ve finally got my hands on the new crossover episodes, and since my favourite show of all time is Generator Rex, I thought I’d watch it and write down things along the way. Mostly just reactions to things happening as they go, and then probably a simple review at the in another post of what I liked, didn’t like, and maybe what other ways this episode could have gone.

Spoilers! Kind of, for those who haven’t seen it yet! But onto the watching!

Should probably mention I haven’t seen a whole lot of the Reboot Ben 10. Not awful from what I’ve seen, some interesting and well-done aspect even, but certainly not my cup of tea. But I’m here for my boi Rex anyway so…

This is actually quite a cute theme song intro, not gonna lie

Ah, yes, a very American opening in a very American location.

Lol, of course they use Heatblast as the first alien in the episode, got the same voice actor as Rex, nice touch.

Evil...trees? Are these actually villains in the show?

Also, that little girl is precious.

Ben, are you trying to start a forest fire in the middle of the park?!

Ha, Gwen gets it!

Ah, yes, more American stuff.

“Don’t wreck the precious monuments” should have seen what you did to Mount Rushmore in your past, Ben.

Sup, Hex.

Music is evil, got it.

So Ben’s aliens are pretty famous already, at least being treated more like celebrities than monster sightings.

“Burn the flute!” A.K.A nearly burn Hex in the process.

And that’s why Ben never passed music class.

And why exactly do you want the world, Hex?

“Hopefully the last one of the summer” Don’t jinx it Max!

Time goes by so fast, doesn’t it Ben? Especially with aliens, villains and timetravel.

Max is secretly an EVO with that kind of growl.

Yes, because as we all know, villains will stop trying to take over the world once summer is over. They must hibernate for the winter.

Also, Max, did you steal those marshmallows?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….Ben, you good there?....Did Hex do something to your brain?

Who thought this would be great to animate!?

We all have those existential crises and talk to smores.

Jesus, Rex, got ninja skills I see.

Some homeless kid and his monkey stole my food? Time to kick some ass!

My favourite alien, Canonballoon.

I’ve missed my boy and his chimp.

Awwwww they’re sharing! Also just….feel so bad for them already. Homeless and struggling for food, my poor boys.

So EVOs do exist here? Wonder how that will be explained.

Ben out here really trying to beat up some other kid, lol. What a great hero.

Bobo, you are great.

I feel like...Ben’s going through some issues.

Ah yaaaaaaaaaaa, bring on the EVO powers! BFS!

Look ma, no hands!

Rex 1, Ben 0

Ben really wants to commit murder or assault here, wow.

Overboard is the word I’d use, yes.

The life of a background character.

Nanites confirmed! And now they’re in the watch, that ain’t good.

Huh...not what I thought was gonna happen.

The little girl is still precious.

This would be fun to explain to Azmuth.

This ain’t good.

On the run from Providence I see.

Awww, poor Rex. Really doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

I can’t tell if these people are angry because of the DNA affect them, or they’re really just being angry in general.

See ya, Gwen and Max.

Interesting to see that the Providence aircraft looks straight out of the show.

Evening, Six.

Still a badass like normal.

He said Omega, he said the word!

Also, nice blame game there Ben. It’s not like you provoked Rex by, ya know, trying to crush him like a grape.

Um...Six...did you just….try to kill a kid? He didn’t know Ben had powers, that pillar could have easily crushed a normal human.

“This is how you try to convince me you’re not a threat?” Say the dude who just tried to murder a kid!!”

Oh no, he Naruto runs!��

Oh, hello Hex.

Also, what is Providence in this world? What are EVOs and Nanites in this world? None of this has been explained yet.

Ok, so that’s what Providence is...You’d think we would have seen them before based on all the aliens showing up who want to destroy the world.

EVO Generator....I wonder if that means that there aren’t very many EVOs, like maybe there is only a set group from the same lab, and Rex is considered the most dangerous because he can make EVOs.

Ben, do you even know what an EVO is?

Jeez, I know Six is like, the sixth deadliest man on the planet, but he just tackles alien Ben like it’s nothing. This guy should take on Vilgax.

Did he say nib libs?

My boi’s back!

I’m not liking this Six...very much not the character I’ve come to love. Who are you and what have you done with the real Six!

Lol, gotta make sure the kids at home know these aren’t real guns!

Using a net on one kid, and about to beat the crap out of the other, nice.

I do have to ask why Hex was picked to me the main villain, beyond whatever the hell Providence is doing. Why the magic dude and not a tech based villain? Someone who could be both interested in the watch and nanites.

What a covenant spell you have there, Hex.

Again, why do you want to take over the world?

“No, those are my aliens!” I think that’s the least of your concern there, Ben.

Bobo 1, Hex 0

Why is Bobo one of the best-written character’s here? Not that I hate Bobo, but just…

Lol, Rex did you just lay there, the entire time? What was that net made out of?

Ah, right. Let’s attack the children rather the magical manic who clearly stated he wanted to rule the world.

Those nets are fireproof apparently.

Ooof, ah….quite the sore spot there, Ben.

Just let me hug Rex, please…

Are there EVOs are are there not!?

I know this is supposed to connect with older fans, but most of this info would fly over the head of anyone who hasn’t watched Generator Rex. They act like everyone knows what EVOs and nanites are.

Still with the blame game are we, Ben?

Judging by that look, Rex’s parents are also dead in this world. Guess he’s not allowed nice things in this universe either.

That flashback was….so latching in the dramatic department. 

Now ya wanna help, Ben.

He’s so scared of himself, noooo!

Ya, but the different between you and him, Ben, is that he lost his parents, his home, got mutated, his memories became hazy, got locked up and called a monster, and now lives on the streets stealing smores. I think Rex has more of a reason to feel scared at being new with the hero business.

Bobo gets it.

Gotta love they added details on Gwen and Max’s alien forms to make them stick out from the rest. Don’t want to confuse anyone lol.

Thinking of a clever comeback on the spot is hard, not gonna lie.

Yes, Ben, drown him.

Again, with the American music, lol. It ruins the fight scene here.

What is this fight scene?

Original Providence agents would have died on screen rather than ditching the fight.

God, everyone’s made Rex feel like everything is his fault, poor guy.

Rock 1, Ben 0

This message and heartfelt moment falls flat, the build-up wasn’t there and it just...kind of happens. It lacks a lot of flavour and impact, and it doesn’t help with how most of these characters are written.

Old people jokes.

Now we shift the blame to Kevin.

Is Fourarms Gwen bigger? Because if so, nice touch, since we know female Tetramands are stronger/bigger than the men.

Ok, so attempted murder is fine when Six and Ben try to do it, but not Rex, got it.

Get in line Hex, you’re not the first who wants to ‘recruit’ Rex. You’ve got Providence, Van Kleiss, Quarry, Black Knight, that one band, and so on so fourth.

Why is this heartfelt moment suddenly happening now? This feels like it could have been placed back when Rex refused to fix the watch.

Ben…”I’ve already tried that!” Bruh, you tried beating him up, telling Six and Providence you saw him, basically acted like he wasn’t a good hero because he refuses to get over his trauma, and reached out your hand once because it benefited you....I get what they’re trying to do, but it just makes Ben look like a jerk. I get he’s ten, but still…

Just...slap him Bobo, please…

Why are we so nervous about Rex’s sword? Ben you have aliens that can burn, cut, smash and so on, and you barely care what you do. Remember how you nearly started that forest fire at the start?...

Yo, what!? What kind of logic is that, Providence? “Whelp, guess earth is screwed, might as well burn it”

Ya, remember that time when EVOs infected the whole world, and Providence decided to just burn everything down with lasers? 

Extendo blade.

Huh, so Six’s blades can break down Rex’s builds.

Salamander...don’t you mean...Skalamander?

One ship? What is Providence packing!?

Yasss, Punk Busters!

Rex is crying, how dare you!

Now we got Smack Hands, you’re in for it, Hex!

Ooooooooooooooonnnnn iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttt!

Ah yes, the sixth most beautiful man on the planet.

Again...what is with the nuking?

Magical cloth fixing, just what I need.

Pure chaos with my boy.

Cracking his neck made me cringe.

Also why the sudden change in heart, Six? This feels out of character for the character who is out of character.

Look, Rex, you’re either gonna fix the watch, or you’re gonna start the self destruct countdown. Everything is going to hell, so might as well take that 50/50.

And it worked!

Ah ya, about that missile.

See’s missile inbound “I can handle it!”

Iron Giant vibes around here.

Screw ruling the world, I’m gonna murder this one child!

My cat’s the same.

REX, DID YOU JUST KICK A MISSILE!?

So that’s his full name?

I think you need to work on those vacation days with your boss, Six.

You are not Six, I will never accept you.

So the episode starts with Rex being alone, homeless and being chased by Providence, and ends with him being alone, homeless and being chased by Providence. What was the improvement here? Self Confident?

Ben even just lets him go, doesn’t even offer him to stay with his family.

Rex deserves better.

Another heartfelt moment that just...falls flat…

“Always be family and be there for you, Ben” Until you go to college without telling him before hand

So!...That was the crossover. Not...amazing sadly. I didn’t have high hopes to begin with, and mostly was just happy enough to have Gen Rex be acknowledged. But this Crossover missed a lot of points, and fumbles quite a bit. It reminds me a lot of the Secret Saturdays Crossover and what was wrong there. But I’m tired and will do a break down/proper review another day, if people are keen for that. Thanks for reading this if you did, it was a rollercoster!

#Interesting to analyze #But I am still disappointed #Welp time for fanfictions and fanart to save the day! #Generator Rex #Gen Rex #GR #Ben Gen 10 #Ben 10 #Ben 10 reboot #Ben 10 Generator Rex #Ben Tennyson #Rex Salazar

[harrysgloves]

Let Your Hair Down (chapter ii)

Get caught up with the Let Your Hair Down Masterlist!

word count: word count: 1,515

summary: Harry gets more than he bargains for when he falls not only for you but your little girl as well.

warnings: language (cause I really cannot write without curse words). Smut in future chapter just not this one. Sorry, we’re getting there but it’s a slow burn.

a/n: Hopefully you guys like this one as much as the last but honestly I think chapter 3 is my favorite so far. It’ll be up tomorrow! And as always my grammatical errors and my spelling is atrocious so please ignore... xx

>>><<<

The day couldn't have ended more perfectly. The sun was starting to set as you sat curled up in one of Mitch's hoodies by the fire outside. The food was already packed up and put away. Now it was just time to drink your glass of wine with Sarah as Mitch and Harry wrangled your kid out of the pool to start making s'mores.

You laid your head against Sarah's shoulder. Your hair blew back gently from the swaying motion of the swing they had by their fire pit and you couldn't imagine things being better than they were right now. You were finally happy. You were finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and as the next season started to creep up on you, you knew you had even better things to look forward to.

"Wow that kid has a lot of energy." Mitch said as he walked up towards you guys from the house, slipping on a shirt.

"Yeah imagine how bad it is when you shove her full of sugar and send her back to me after sleepovers here." You glared at Mitch. You knew full well he was the one who gave her the ungodly amount of sugar the last time she was here and she ended up sick.

"Hey, I'm the fun one not the responsible one." He smiled as he took a seat across from Sarah. His hands folding behind his head as he relaxed into the seat.

"Where is she?" You questioned leaning your head up off Sarah and looking around the yard. You couldn't see her and even though you knew she was probably fine, you couldn't help the mommy dread filling the pit of your stomach.

"Oh, calm down, Harry has her."

"Jesus, Mitch, you can't leave her with someone she doesn't know very well." You huffed and started to stand up before you saw them walking back outside. An old shirt of Mitch's now covering her. It was almost dragging the ground as she walked hand in hand with Harry.

"You were saying?" He smiled smugly and Sarah chuckled from beside you. You couldn't help the huff of annoyance that passed your lips.

"Stop trying to set us up. It's not going to happen." You said as you kicked off your high heels and curled your legs up beside you when you sat back down.

"Whatever you say Y/N" Sarah mumbled beside you. The smile on her face not fading as she took a drink from her glass.

"Momma! Momma!" Thea yelled as she let go of Harry's hand and ran toward you.

"Guess what!" She bounced excitedly in front of you. The smile on her face so wide it showed the one front baby tooth that had fallen out the previous week. It was the first one she had lost, which made your heartache at the thought of her growing up. You felt she was too little to be losing teeth yet but the frantic call you made to the pediatrician made you feel stupid when she assured you it was completely normal for a kid about to turn five.

"What baby?" You asked as you pulled her onto your lap to sit with you.

"Harry has his nails painted too and he said he liked the color mine are." She rushed out excitedly as she held her hands in front of her to look at the color they were again.

"He said I could paint his nails sometime. Even though I told him I wasn't very good at it and that you did them for me, but he said I could practice on him." She said turning to you but your eyes fixed on the man in front of you. Your heart wanted to fall out of your chest and turn into a pile of mush at the thought of her curled up on the couch painting his nails as he mused about how well she was doing. You quickly pushed the fleeting thought to the side but the smile it caused stayed on your face as you looked at him.

"Well baby that was very nice of him." You kissed her on the cheek and pulled her back further and hugged her.

"Sucker." Mitch coughed out into his hand and Harry turned around, hitting him in the back.

"Got a bit of a bad cough there mate." He said irritation laced through his voice but it still sounded angelic to you. You tried your best to hide your small laugh as he sat down beside Mitch directly across from you but his green eyes shot directly to yours when he heard it. A soft smile formed at the corner of his full lips and you had to immediately look away before you started debating in your mind what they tasted like.

"Go make some s'mores with Uncle Mitch before we have to go Thea." You said as you put her on the ground. She walked carefully around the fire and went to sit on Mitch's lap as he started putting the marshmallows on the roasting stick.

"So, Y/N, when do you start your fancy new job?" Sarah asked as you leaned your head back on her shoulder and took a sip from your wine glass.

"Next month. Not sure how well it's going to go. I've never managed a hotel that big before." You were a bit nervous to start a new job in a new city but you craved the fresh start. Somewhere, where walking down the street didn't remind you time and time again of your ex.

"Oh shut up." Mitch groaned. You were going to give a smart ass remark back but the look Harry shot him was enough to make you stop.

"I'm just saying," Mitch said more to Harry than you, "She's great at managing people. She shouldn't be worried."

"Which hotel is it?" Harry questioned as he held his roasting stick loaded with marshmallows over the fire.

"The Pembroke. I'm just the Assistant Manager but hopefully in a few years if it all works out the way I want it to then I can move up." You shrugged. You weren't 100% sure how you got into hospitality but it was just something that seemed to stick with you. Meeting and talking to new people every day from all over the world was fascinating. You liked getting to learn about different cities and countries without ever having to leave your state, but this new job came with a pretty big move, into New York City. It wasn't that bad considering you were already on the outskirts but you'd never lived in the actual city before. Something you weren't 100% sure you were ready for.

"'ve been there." He said, turning his marshmallows before they burned. "'S nice. Just a few streets over from my flat actually."

You swore you could have choked on your wine the second that sentence left his mouth. You had no fucking idea where he lived and preferred to keep it that way and now he knew where you worked and it was close to where he was at when he was in New York? No. No way. You turned to Sarah who had a shit-eating grin across her face.

"Well, maybe you can show Y/N around sometime." She said turning to face you with the biggest, most infuriating smile on her face. "I'm sure she would like the help getting used to the city."

"Oh, no, really I couldn't--" You started but were shortly cut off.

"That means that you can come over and sing my song to me Harry." Thea said with so much excitement that you paused. She really did seem to get on with him better than most people and she loved his music. She said 'Golden' was her song and made Mitch play it for her all the time. It was heart-wrenchingly adorable.

"Course I can sweetheart." He said to Thea as he took off a marshmallow and placed it on a Graham cracker lined with chocolate. Handing it to her before starting to make his own.

"Well she should have your number then." Sarah beamed from beside you and it took everything in you to not strangle her.

Fucking trader.

Thea was already over to you and taking your phone in the blink of an eye and handing it to Harry. She was telling him how to put his number in your phone before you even got a chance to protest.

"You've got to take a picture so it shows up next to your name." She said as she took the phone back from him and turned on the camera app.

"Get in here with me then." He said pulling her in. They both cheesed up to the camera, big smiles wide on both their faces and your heart completely melted when you heard her giggle and ask to do a silly photo.

"Call me anytime you need help love."

Guess you had his phone number now. So much for staying away.

#Harry Styles #Harry #Harry Styles x Reader #Harry Styles x Y/N #Harry Styles x You #Harry Styles Fanfic #Harry Styles Fanfiction #writing #mine #fanfic #LYHD