#the scary bits didn't stick as much for me except for THIS one part

[buckybarnesss]

Newer fans latching onto Theo is, like, kind of baffling to me, because the moment I saw him I was like, "This is a low-rent, generic version of season 1 Derek."

And that thought just never went away.

Admittedly, I don't like any of the new characters except for Liam (even though he is just Jackson-lite.) Mason is Diet Danny. Hayden, the white boys I can't remember (there are like three or four characters I could not pick out of a line-up if you put a gun to my fucking head), and Theo's pack are just... they're okay, but I have no opinions on them whatsoever.

I famously do not like Malia, and I'd rather watch Malia struggle with her homework than watch the baby wolves. To this day, I have not seen all of season 6A and my interest in 6B ends and begins with "Oh, Derek's back!!"

apparently it's a bit controversial to say theo was purposefully presented by the narrative to be a derek mirror.

derek's absence in season 5 is a vacuum. he was such a huge, significant part of the narrative that his absence is a black hole. like, there was a purpose to scott bringing derek up to stiles and for stiles's to get all gooey at seeing the initials DH at senior scribe.

it set up how stiles and scott are coping with derek's absence.

scott is trying but he didn't realize how much he learned from derek, how much he leaned on derek's knowledge and experience and how for granted he took derek's presence. which is realistic to their relationship.

stiles is straight up Not Dealing With It and it's Going Badly.

teen wolf loves, loves, loves to reference, reframe and repeat it's own narrative. the issue stiles and scott have with theo is exactly their whole difference of opinion about derek from s1-2 but in a shorter time frame.

theo is exactly what scott thought derek was early on: a lying, power hungry sister-killer. but scott was wrong about derek and in trying to course correct that error he is wrong about theo.

the other function theo performs narratively in season 5 is being a dark stiles mirror.

both stiles and scott in both season 5 and 6a are scared of change. they are scared of their relationships changing. their rapidly approaching adulthood is scary.

the nogitsune changed stiles and it's something neither scott or stiles have really confronted. theo is obsessed with void stiles and prods at that trauma for stiles while he presents himself as scott's long-lost bestie tapping into scott's fears about stiles and the longing for the friendship they had before all this started.

theo's doing a lot of things in season 5 tbh. he's got so many assignments lol.

theo's pack is just kind of there because for theo they were merely a means to an end. the only ones that mattered in the end were hayden and corey.

i do like corey when he's around and hayden was just wasted in my opinion.

(bonus: i once mentioned that liam and mason were jackson and danny but like three spaces to the left on the subreddit and people were very confused by that and i was like "....do other people not see this?" jeff notoriously keeps throwing spaghetti at the wall till it sticks)

#thoughts on teen wolf #teen wolf #theo raeken

[blooming-violets]

Shit I forgot to put this in my rb but I wanted to ask what do you think would happen to reader if Peter actually went through with it? I'd like to be a but optimistic and say she surely but slowly recovers from it all but I'm not so sure. How would Aunt May react to that? Becoming a widow then a grieving mother in the span of a few years? Sorry I don't mean to be pushy but like I said I loved the way you beautifully crafted this story from an ask

Trigger Warnings!!!!: it's all about suicide and talking about it and discussing it, it is not something everyone feels comfortable reading or conversing about so please don't continue if it is too upsetting for you, Peter Parker kills himself and I write about it, Gwen's death ptsd is explored and he sees her as a rotting corpse version of herself who talks to him before he dies, the grief of losing someone you love to suicide is also talked about, it's all depressing but if you love depressing angst shit then come on over and join in (not join in on the killing yourself part jfc I mean joining in on the talking about this story) READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION only you know what you are capable of handling when you read. I can't help you any further than explaining the warnings.

Previous posts where this is all discussed:

[first part] [second part] and I rewrite this drabble from two years ago to fit this story but you can read the original here if you feel like it (it ends with less death that this one).

One of my darker, more angsty headcanons is that Peter kills himself by throwing himself off the same clock tower Gwen died in. It takes a few years for it to get rebuilt back to it's former glory. Peter patiently waits those years until it's finally finished. Almost a quiet, stoic sort of patience. A little scary with how composed he is. Like not given any indication of his plans. He wears a beautifully composed mask until the day it happens because he is so sure in his plans and doesn't want a single person to sway him from them. He's stubborn and set in his ways and this is what he feels he needs to do. This headcanon doesn't exactly fit into the story I wrote as that version of Peter is much more unhinged in his actions, and I don't think clocktower Peter could ever let himself get into a relationship because he's too obsessed with Gwen still and knows he's going to die so he's not going to bring anyone else into that mess, but it's just a little random headcanon I always had so I thought I would share since this is suicide talking hour. Maybe I can rework it a bit to fit with this story better.

Let's say unhinged Peter (as I'm calling him now lol) does let the ghosts win. What happens to our Reader character would entirely depend on when in the relationship he went through with it. If she's too far gone and too far down the hole after Peter, then I sort of fear for her future. Unless she has someone really important in her life who would help her, I think she would just keep sinking until she ended up back on that ledge, except this time there's no Peter to catch her. And I personally don't think she has anyone that close to her, especially after mentioning that all her friends stopped texting her or asking her to hang out. They all kind of gave up on her so, when she's at her lowest, I really don't think anyone would be the wiser due to the isolation they both put themselves in.

I want to rewrite something I wrote two years ago that either wasn't that great and people didn't like or it just slipped under the radar (because it wasn't about an x reader or love or anything, it was just Peter's ptsd taking over and sometimes people don't give a shit about a fic if it isn't tagged with x reader). It fits really well in this new story to help show what could go on in Peter's head with how terribly Gwen still sticks with him and what exactly it is he's "seeing" that would push him to throwing himself off a building.

Cut to me pausing to frantically google if Peter Parker could survive a fall off a building or if his super powers make him strong enough to withstand it...

Okay maybe falling isn't the best plan of action but I really like (like isn't the right word but I'm going with it) that idea of him mimicking Gwen's death because he's so haunted by it. He would want to feel what she felt. He would want to go the same way. So for the sake of this story, he's can't withstand that fall.

“Leave me alone!” Peter shouted into the dark shadows of the clock tower. He sat huddled against the newly built glass wall that domed up over his head. The bright, white light of the moon hung in the sky above him and casted wavering shadows around him to mess with his vision. The turning of grinding gears below him haunted his memories of the night Gwen died. Eight years and she still haunted him every time he dared to fall asleep.

He couldn't take it anymore. His head was a mess. His thoughts were spinning.

He was just so tired.

He had fallen asleep here accidentally. Maybe if he went to the source of the problem, she would disappear. It was a stupid plan

It only made her stronger. This was where his ghost of her was most alive.

Maybe that's why he really showed up. He wanted to see her. He wanted to finally confront his demons. She was calling to him and he had to answer.

He had slipped a crushed up sleeping pill into his girlfriends water during dinner. He carried her bed, tucked her in, and kissed her soft and gently. She didn't need to see this. This wasn't for her. She needed to be free of him. He needed to let her go before it was too late. She wouldn't understand at first but, maybe, with time...

What had time ever done for him except make Gwen stronger?

He slipped an envelope onto the bedside table beside her. One for her. One for May. He wasn't sure if he would make it home this time. His mind could still change. He could still make it back before she woke up.

But they were.

Just in case.

He couldn't leave them with nothing.

She was here now. Ready to haunt him like usual. Ready to take over and ruin him. Night after night. Day after day. She was always there. Gwen never left. She walked beside him through it all.

Tonight, she was angry. Furious. This was where he had let her die. Of course, she would be the most powerful here.

He no longer had his girlfriend to help soften Gwen's blows. There was no one to intervene. Only him and Gwen. Stuck in a staring contest. Sizing each other up.

The sunken in face of his dead lover glared back at him from just below his edge of his of his perch, trembling from the sight under him. She was standing on top of a giant gear, watching him, judging him. A large smile grew across her pale, bluing lips. It was too wide. Too big for her face. Her teeth looked rotten and jagged inside of her mouth. A trickle of blood slowly trailed out of her nostril.

“What’s the matter, Peter?” She taunted. Her sickly voice swirled around his head like a swarm of mosquitos. “Did you miss me? Is that why you came here? To see me clearly again? Well, here I am. Look at me. Dead. Putrefied. All for you. Aren't I beautiful? This is what you've done to me.”

A loud sob shuddered through his chest and ripped out his throat. He brought up a hand to wipe away the snot flowing freely out his nose. This nightmare was too familiar. He knew this too well. He didn't feel like he was dreaming this time. He never did.

If it wasn't a dream then his mind was truly gone. Distinguishing between reality and fiction was something he no longer had control over.

This was as real to him as anything.

“Please, Gwen. Please,” he pleaded with her. “Go away. I can’t do this again. Please. You have to let me go."

She tutted her tongue in annoyance and shook her head with disbelief, “Oh, Peter. I have to let you go? Do you think I want to be here?” She became climbing up the gears and the scaffolding towards him. She looked more like himself as she climbed, enhanced and spider-like, taking the movements straight out his brain until she was perching on the ledge beside him. “Do you think this fun for me?”

Peter whimpered in response. His tears were blurring his vision but he was afraid to wipe them away. He was terrified of what might happen if he took his eyes off of her, like watching a snake in the grass, it's better if you can see it in your sights instead of letting it hide and able to strike.

Gwen walked with slow, purposeful steps towards him until she stood directly over him as he cowered backwards on all fours. Under the pale moonlight hanging above them, her skin turned yellow, painted with purpling hues and blacks, and rotting away around her cheekbones to show parts of red, bleeding muscle under the pulled back skin. Her, once vibrant, blonde hair now hung in patchy strands from her head. Most of her hair had fallen out leaving her balding and sickly. When she smiled, browning, broken teeth shone back at him, they hung lose in her jaw, rattling around when she spoke.

She was a walking, decaying corpse sent to haunt him every time he closed his eyes.

“Look at what you’ve done to me!” Her shrill voice echoed off the glass walls. She spun around to show him the back of her head. Her skull was caved in. Parts of brain matter clung to her hair and blood stained what was left of the blonde a deep red. She turned back to face him, leaning in close so she was mere inches away. He could smell the heavy scent of freshly dug dirt and wet grass clinging to her rotting finger nails like she had clawed her way straight out of the ground to find him.

She snarled, “You did this, Peter! This is your fault!”

Peter flinched and scrambled backwards to get away from her, “No! Please, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I didn't know...I didn't know...I thought I could catch you. I thought I could save you. I'm sorry. Please, Gwen. Please. I'm so sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t change the fact that I’m dead,” she smirked, eyes darkening, enjoying his torment. She sunk down to her hands and knees to crawl over him, pressing her skeletal body against him, until he was laying flat against the ground with no where else to go.

"Look at me," she whispered into his ear. “I was going to go Oxford. I was going to be a scientist. I was going to change the world. The only way I can change the world now is by letting the worms feast through my flesh until there is nothing left. Something tasty for the bugs. That's all I am now.”

Peter whimpered, turning his head away from her and flinching into himself.

He heard her sniffle like she was about to start crying. He hated hearing her cry.

"Don't you love me anymore, Peter?" She whined. "Don't you care about me? Why did you find someone else? Why did you forget me so quickly? I loved you so much and you left me for the worms. Only they kiss my skin now."

His heart sank and guilt flooded him. Slowly, he turned his head to face her, blinking up at her. For a moment, she looked just like he remembered. Beautiful. Whole. Healthy. Alive.

Peter gave a shuddered, shaky breath, whispering in awe, "Gwen."

She beamed down at him. There were no rotting teeth, no blood, her hair was full and luscious. She was glowing under golden light with happy tears in her eyes like his memory of her on top of the Brooklyn Bridge.

"Kiss me," she whispered against his lips. "Like you used to."

Peter's eyes slipped close. His heart ached.

"I can't," he mumbled back. "I love someone else now. I love her like I loved you. She..."

He needed to get back to her. She needed him. He needed her. He should have never left her tonight. He had to leave.

A wailing growl shot ice through his veins as Gwen let out a shriek of pain as if she had read his mind. She was back to her decaying corpse. The sight terrified him.

"You will not leave me! I won't let you! You're mine, Peter! Mine!"

Peter kicked up his feet to shove her off of him. He scrambled backwards away from the haunting vision.

"I can't, Gwen," he pleaded. "I can't be with you anymore."

He frantically shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut, in an attempt to make her disappear. Usually by now, his girlfriend would hear him screaming. She'd be here to block Gwen from his sights. She'd be there to force her away until he was safe.

Tonight, there was no one but him.

"This isn't real," he muttered to himself. "She's not really here. She's dead. She's buried underground. Locked in a coffin. This isn't real. When I open my eyes, she'll be gone."

He peaked an eye open. A sense of relief washed over him. He was alone in the clock tower. There was no one here but him.

He could still go home. He could still make it back to her before she woke up and rid her bed side of those letters.

She would never have to know.

Peter took a deep breath, half way through exhaling it when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Gwen's decomposing face poked into his peripheral vision as she whispered menacingly in his ear, "Boo."

He screamed, jumping away, to the sound of her taunting laughter.

"I'm still here, Peter!" She cackled. "You can't get rid of me that easily! I am always going to be here. I am always going to follow you. I will never let you go." Her voice softened. Almost sweet. Sad. Longing. "Because I'm your path, Peter. I am always going to be your path. Follow me everywhere just like you promised. I want you to follow me. I need you..."

She reached out her hand for him to take. The skin had rotted away around the tips of her fingers leaving nothing by bones reaching for him.

This wasn't his Gwen. His Gwen was dead. She was buried in the ground surrounded by fresh flowers. The thing in front of him was nothing but a product of his own twisted mind. Birthed from his guilt and excruciating pain. A monster of his own creation.

"I can't," he choked out through his tears. "Someone else needs me now. I'm sorry. I love you. I will always love you. But I can't follow you. Not yet."

Anger flashed over her darkened, bloodshot eyes, “No! You promised you’d follow me anywhere. Follow me to the grave, you liar!”

Peter cringed at her harsh words. Tears blurring his vision. He had promised.

"Gwen, please," he begged. "Let me go."

Her face softened. He watched her grow back into old self again. Her rich purple dress. Lace tights. Knee high boots. Pale blue jacket. All highlighting her perfectly beautiful face. Large, bright green eyes without a blonde hair out of place. Always so put together. Always nothing less than perfection.

"You want me to go?" She asked, turning around slowly for her to take him in. There was no crack in the back of her skull. No blood.

His breath caught in his throat. He tried to reach out for her, to draw her closer against him, but she stepped away. Just out of his reach.

"You want me to go so I'll go." She whispered. "But you'll have to watch. Again and again and again. You'll have to listen to the sound of my skull cracking against the pavement. Hear my spine snap as your web jerks me upwards. Smell my blood pouring from my open, split open head." A trickle of red blood started to leak out her nose as her eyes closed. "Only you can make it all stop. Only you can make me go away. You know exactly how to do it, Peter. All you have to do is follow me. Just like you promised. Follow me and it will all end."

He blinked through his tears, taking a slow step towards her.

"Follow you," he muttered in a trance like state. "I'll follow you anywhere you go. You're my path. I'll write my love for you across the Brooklyn Bridge so everyone in New York can see it."

She smiled, soft and sweet, "Follow me. Don't leave me alone. Stay with me, Peter. Forever."

"Forever..."

Her arms out stretched to her sides and she leaned back, stepping off the ledge and sinking out of sight past the giant gears, hurdling straight towards her death.

"No!" He shouted.

Without thinking, without caring, Peter leapt after her. He had done this move so many times in his nightmares. He had obsessively walked through every single second of her death. Again and again just like she said. He knew it better than he knew himself.

He jumped on instinct. He leapt after her like he always did.

Keeping his promise. Following her down any path she took.

I know you asked how May and Reader would respond to such a thing afterwards but that's like one topic that's just a little too hard for me to write about. I know it's weird that I can talk about Peter throwing himself to his death and I can write about depression and suicidal ideation and self harm and ptsd and guilt and feelings of worthlessness but writing about someone like May (who I relate far too much to my own mother) finding her boy dead is just a hair too much for my heart to take haha. I was originally going to write a scene of his funeral but then I was like nah too much for even me. I can't watch May cry over her dead kid.

I will say that he would be buried next to his parents under the same gravestone which sits besides Ben's. It's a few rows down from Gwen so Peter can always be near her.

I don't even think I actually answered your original ask but I got carried away with Peter in the clock tower!

Also May puts matching flowers on both Peter's and Gwen's graves every time she visits. hahahaha i gotta stop writing fuck me

#andrew garfield #tasm #peter parker #tasm peter #tasm peter parker #tasm x reader #peter parker x reader #tasm peter x reader #tasm peter parker x reader #tasm fic #peter parker fic #tasm angst #peter parker angst

[deandoesthingstome]

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

Nina, I don't know how hard this will be to believe, but I was what they called a bit of a tomboy.

I was outside ALL. THE. TIME.

I used to ride my bike to the town pool, spend all day there, then bike home before dark. (And if I was too tired I could usually convince one of the teen lifeguards I had a little crush on to drive me home with my bike in the back of his mom's (probably) station wagon. Nothing untoward happening you understand; I was an annoying pipsqueak and he was a nice guy. But still.)

I played Softball because my dad did. I took tennis lessons because my dad wanted the family to play the sport together. I went "crickin", which involves wandering along a creek, usually right down the middle, stepping along rocks, slipping in to shallow water, digging in dirt with sticks, etc.

I read books all the time. I loved scary stories and probably read Steven King way too soon.

I tried to be interested in the girly things my older sister was, but I really just didn't care. I still don't wear make-up and styling my hair just means blow drying it straight. I remember trying to be into fashion fads, but again, just couldn't really care less.

I don't think I've changed too much except for the outside all the time part. I've chosen a life that keeps me busy with an inside job that supports my small family and household. I obviously still love reading, though not Steven King so much anymore. And I absolutely do not care about fashion. Give me jeans and t-shirts any day. I do probably wear more skirts as an adult than I did as a child.

Too much? Not enough?

#nina asks #charlie answers #ask games #get to know me

[orangejuice707]

I have a feeling that Gilbert got bullied in his childhood more specifically chased with swords or smth dangerous like that . As in my this theory (og post was v's) I explained why he never rejected Clavis's bad cooking .

Now I am gonna connect it to Gilbert's character design

So we have all seen Gilbert wearing all black and covering almost ALL of his body including face (eyepatch!) . Could there be reasons for it other than character design?

Yes .

Scary appearance (more like "to appear" scary)

Covering body parts which are hurt in an attempt to hide scars and appear strong

Now if we say that the people who used to bully him left cuts and scratches on certain parts of his body including his eye . So basically

Him covering up his body can be an effect of bullying .

Reasons why he got bullied

• he was a weak kid (as I said in the linked theory abt his food habits)

Now let's talk abt canebert

Why not a sword? Why not a gun? Though I doubt that the stick is only a stick and not a covering for a gun .

But the question is

Why?

Why does he need to cover up such a dangerous artifact when it can scare anybody and let him get his way with them ?

Why not kill/beat people using a gun/sword ?

That's bcoz he knows

He knows how much it hurts. So he would rather beat up his opponent with a cane rather than beat them with smth more dangerous.

Why does he reads so many military based books when he can literally posses a gun kill off his opponents ?

(OK I might be bullshitting a bit here)

At times a legit article on the internet or a certain thing from a certain book can change our whole world and make us feel a type of way .

In this case .

Gilbert found comfort (a weird kind) in reading military books and possessing the knowledge. He didn't just wanted to be a weak victim of bullying . Rather he wanted to be stronger at least in one field (personal defense rather than military strength in this case)

Now .

Why is he trying so hard to be friends with mc and the other princes ?

Now before starting I wanna say that this is pretty far fetched so yeah.

What if the people who bullied him in his childhood were his own family members? Like idk anything abt gil's fam tbh (does any of us except cybird does tho???) .

He might be similar to the isekaid villainess we(or atleast I) often read abt in manhwas , etc.

Getting bullied by Palace staff

Getting bullied by family members

Almost losing their life

Forming new allies

(Falling in love)

I kept the last one in brackets bcoz that is not what we are gonna discuss here .

He tries hard to get along with people outside his hometown . Especially people who don't want to take advantage of him (like that one nobleman) bcoz in his past along with the bullying he probs faced issues with who took advantage of him .

So now since he is grown and healthy he is like "nope" and "gonna make my own friends found family" .

Now, why more specifically mc?

(Crack theory : bcoz it is Emma duhhh)

Ok now in all seriousness it is her bcoz she is given the role of belle

A very vital role in Rhodolite .

And the main requirement?

● pure heart

This . This is the exact reason as to why Gilbert would never not ask her to be his friend .

A pure person would never take advantage of anyone . This probably puts Gilbert at ease .

Now for another kinda bullshit like theory

What if he himself wants to destroy Obsidian and side with Rhodolite?

This is extremely weird so feel free to ignore this .

He once mentioned that he never took part in the war 10 years ago on Bloodstained Rose Day (i forgot the name so sorry if it is incorrect)

This can easily mean that he never wanted to go on a war with Rhodolite.

Now ik Luke's route kinda proves this to be wrong but what if whatever he did 10 years ago was bcoz he was being controlled by the king of Obsidian? Like idk lololololol

Anyways if u made it this far then here is a sword 🗡 for ya . Thank u for reading .

(Took me almost 1 hr to write lolol)

#cybird ikemen #cybird ikemen series #ikepri #ikepri gilbert #ikepri gifbert #ikepri theory #gilbert von obsidian #ikemen prince

[msookyspooky]

Hi Spooky !! So I’ve been getting through some of the recs you gave me for my Halloween marathon :33 AND i saw Child’s Play — which i liked way more than I thought i would, like it’s genuinely pretty funny And i cant wait to watch the sequels, leTS FUCKING GOOO — Yesterday was Idle Hands which sksksks wanna a silly little movie, ‘twas truly delightful, all the characters are fun/cool except for Anton most of the movie so it took a while for me to feel bad for him, BUT i did eventually, i really enjoyed it so it’s definitely up there for the rewatchbility of it !! — I CANT REMEMBER IF YOU RECOMMENDED POLTERGEIST OR NOT ??? I think you did but anyways I really liked it !!! The supernatural stuff is pretty mild + the 80s special effects make it not that scary to me, also i felt really bad for that fucking family ? What the hell ?!?! The dad was the fucking mvp he did The Most and he looked great doing it (10/10 - could watch again)

NOW for movies that ik you didn’t recommend but have been mentioned here at some point: Black Telephone and Butcher Baker Nightmare Maker. I saw someone recommended BT for you a whole ago and if you haven’t had the time yet to watch it please know it’s super worth it !!!! The main characters are really good and interesting and the acting is just phenomenal, specIALLY THE KIDS WTH, AND theres a bit of a supernatural thing to it but it was just fun/good for the plot and not so much trying to get you to shit ur pants, ya know?

AND for BBNM, i was very excited for this movie, to me it was a classic like 80s slasher, the tENSION, the creative like weapon choices, the like twist/break the killer goes through (like after its clear to us/other characters they did it) and THE ACTORS ARE JUST PHENOMENAL — like the aunt is/has been basically grooming her nephew since he was 3 and god does it show, some scenes are so creepy, and moments were someone would you know question her/ her actions, he doesn’t even Think to doubt her, it was terrible (but in a good way, story wise) OH AND BILL PAXTON, he doesn’t show up a lot (i think with dialogue for 2 or 3 scenes maybe) and he plays classic homophobic with daddy issues so 😐 but he did look good tho so theres that

STAR THIS IS LIKE WEEKS UPON WEEKS LATE FORGIVE ME 🥲

Idle hands is such a dark humor dumbass slap stick but I love it 🤣 Listen, I just thought he had the worst asthma of his life I didn't even know what weed was till I was like 11 but as a kid seeing that hand terrified me and child me remembered it being so scary and adult me rewatched it and I was like....What? This is the movie that terrified me??? afjsafkjs

POLTERGEIST! That completely slipped my mind, I didn't watch it often but I do remember parts of it and it's really good. And I did see the black phone!!! It was so good I mean the protagonist was so smart and using the ghost of the children was a haunting aspect I didn't expect but so glad they did it. Gwen was my favorite character she reminded me of how I was as a kid and I also have prophetic dreams like her. So does my one grandmother. We both dream of family deaths and major events going to happen and it almost always comes true so it was so different to see them utilize that in the movie. I went in expecting a kidnapping survival and got so much more!!

And bro I have GOT to watch it!! I couldn't find it under Butcher Baker Nightmare Maker so I saw someone recommend searching Night Warning and there it is (Idk why they picked these titles bc it makes it so much harder to find bro ong) and yeeaahhh I kind of expect the homophobia and sexism in 80s movies I just try to take it with a grain of salt I think that's why I like Lost Boys and Near Dark sm bc...Wow...An 80s movie with an 80s aesthetic...and no homophobia or sexism or racism? OMFG FINALLY!!

Another one with Bill I watched but was HORRIBLE was Boxing Helena. I'm usually not a snob with movies but it was like bad cheesy softcore porn for someone with weird fetishes. The guy/doctor is basically an incest mommy issues guy bc of his vapid mother who just 'died' out of nowhere and he inherited her home and he's engaged to a wonderful woman that is also a doctor and too good for him but the kicker is he is OBSESSED with a woman that he had a one night stand with years ago and wants nothing to do with him but he's a toxic fucking weirdo that does everything he can (Including cutting her limbs off....You heard me.) in order to make her dependent on him bc...Shocker; she reminds him of his shitty Mom. You are filthy rich go to therapy you freak. I felt zero remorse for him and the movie tries to make you sympathize with him and it's like...Why?

THE ONLY part, I do mean, THE ONLY FUCKING PART worth watching is the explict Bill Paxton sex scene the first 15 minutes he has the woman's entire boob in his mouth while he's grinding her hips on his uh...And MOANING while he does it...I'd scream w/o the s on the spot if I was her istg 💦 Like I was so flustered bc I DID NOT expect it to be that explict 😳😳😳

He plays an asshole rockstar lover to the woman but compared to the guy we're supposed to sympathize with at least he's not wackadoo nuts tbh. I will take cheating asshole over whatever the fuck is wrong with the doctor if I had to pick....And I mean...Lolk at him-

Like I can't show any scenes from his part in the movie but if you want to watch like the first 15 minutes then skip to the end where Bill's character pistol whips the guy holding her hostage and mutilating her. I mean, Bill's character beats the shit out of him (Again, so hot of Bill's character to do that🥵😤) understandable bc I regret wasting almost 2hrs of my life watching it

WHY IS THE HOTTEST BILL PAXTON SCENE I'VE EVER SEEN IN THE SHITTIEST MOVIE??? WHY 😭😭😭

If ppl like it good for them but I deadass couldn't hardly focus on it at all it was just a hot mess and the ending had me fuming lmfao

I also watched The Watcher and Nope and those were so so good!!!! Especially Nope!

[ecclais-fouoras]

Falling for someone like you

Chapter 9 ? What a day

Previous chapter here

Tags : fluff and slight smut warning ⚠️

The next day went swiftly, you both had a great time at the mine and then the museum, afterwards you both went out for dinner, in the small restaurant she had spotted before. Wilhemina offered to pay since you had already done so much for her those few days. "I insist baby..you've been amazing and I was the one who suggested it... Let me get this one"

"Okay fine...don't make a habit out of it you know I love to spoil you, my darling" you had responded placing your hand on her cheek. That night you had gone to bed early, exhausted from the day spent. Your lover laid by your side, your arms around her protectively and her leg draped over your body, and fingers upon your collarbones. "Y/n ?"

"Mm ?" "What are we gonna do tomorrow ? I tried to find something to vis..."

"Amusement Park"

"Huh ?"

"Tomorrow that's what we're doing"

"Oh...you do kn..."

"I checked if it was something you could do, and there are many attraction available"; "Good..." She said before yawning. "Oh baby sleep you're tried"

"I don't want this day to end"

"It doesn't have to...in your mind never" You turned slightly, putting your hand around her hip and under her head, and hers went to your neck. Your legs found the spot between hers and the one still on top of your body. On Sunday you woke up a little bit early to pack stuff in the car before traveling to the park, your girlfriend watching the landscape pass by the cars window. Your eyes fixated on the rood and right hand in hers on her thigh. You arrived and went inside. The place was kinda crowded but since Wilhemina couldn't stand for too long waiting wasn't a problem, you could easily enter attraction in another line. "I hate their faces when they see me cut the line" she said growling from anger and you caressed her hair while explaining "Hey baby... You're not cutting line, your simply taking another one. If they don't like it they can try and live all their life in a body that aches like yours. They'll see if taking that line is worth the trouble."

"I guess you're right"

"I am...if they aren't happy about it they can suck my dick"

"OH so they can but you barely let me do it ?" You playfully feigned being offended and slightly pinched her arm. "That's not even true.."

"It is. Whenever I wanna do it you don't pack"

"Well I'm not going to pack every single day love"

"Well at least some of them baby"

You giggled and subconsciously started walking towards a small Russian mountain.

"Are you up for that mina ?"

"Of course. I'm up for anything", "You Sure ? It seems pretty scary". "It's not. Besides if it wear it would say not for people with back problems"

"Okay okay... Well when you throw up just make sure it's not while the wind is in our way."

"Haha very funny"

:read more:

She said as you took her hand and leaded her to the side line, after a few minutes you got in the seats. Wilhemina held your hand a little tighter than usual, so you nuzzled behind her ear and told her she was more than safe with you. She relaxed a bit and then screams and squeals of joy were the only thing that could be heard. You both moved throughout the park, doing things left and right, pointing at beautiful landscape and designs. You stopped at a flying swing and encouraged wilhemina to come with you and do it together. But she didn't seam to keened on it. Even as you took her hand and tugged her towards it she held her ground. The mushroom tower started to rise and everyone started cheering as the chair flew around in circles and people moved in their chairs."Look it's fun honey" "It's for kids."..."No. It's not. Watch there are plenty of adults her and besides it didn't bother you in the flying elephants."

"That was different"

"Absolutely not, look if it's because you don't stand the movements it's okay, but at least tell me"

"I do stand it" you went closer to her, your hands on her hips as you kissed her cheeks "Babe tell me what the real problem is, no bullshit please"

"I don't have. Anywhere to put my cane in there."

"Well we can leave it in the entrance"

"I'd rather not"

"Why, you don't need it during the ride, and I'll get it for you at the end baby"

"Who knows what will happen during the ride. I don't want to find it broken, not only because you gifted it to me, but because it is my life, I refuse to let it be broken or lost by those incompetent people"

"Hey..hey no need to insult anyone here, baby I know that, but just like when you go to bed you leave it to the side, you can let them take care of it"

"I..."

"Baby I promise nothing bad will happen"

"How can you do that"

"I'll make sure it doesn't, do you trust me ?"

"Of course I trust you. I just don't trust anybody else"

"But you learned how to trust me, so maybe you can try and give a little trust to that"

"Fine. One session"

"Yay ! I promise you'll love it" You said as you both went to it, and as soon as wilhemina was sited you went up to the people managing the attraction and asked them to keep her cane during the ride.

"Oh and by the way. If anything happens to it. Even the slightest impact, i will make sure you all lose your job, and ruin your reputation so much no one will go to a park that is unacceptable with disabled people."

"..we..yes. well, we will take good care of it"

"You better do." You went back and sat just next to Wilhemina on the double sided chair. "Did you te..."

"It's okay baby. They'll handle it carefully"

"Oh okay..." The swing raised above the floor, and progressively your feets hanged down as they stopped touching ground and The ride began. the wind hit your face faster and faster and you both smiled and yelled as it spined. Wilhemina had to keep her hand on her skirt so it didn't lift up and give everyone else a great view and you giggled. You whispered in her ear as the world around you kept turning and turning. "Don't traumatize these children and get arrested for public nudity I'd hate to have to get you out of jail and runaway together..."

"Is it weird of it actually sounds good"

"Depends on which part"

"The last bit you fool"

"Well my anxiety could never...but keep dreaming darling" You both laughed and held hands as the chairs were turning even faster. At one point the air was to rapid through her hair and it detached her hairdo, you Heard her groan as her hair moved everywhere including her face while she looked at you. "Oh come on why"

"It's fine mina just let it go"

"It's a good thing this was not a wig"

You laughed again as You pushed the hair out of her face and saw her eyes shining with joy, you don't think you ever saw her so happy your whole life, and you thought maybe she never has been.

"I love you y/n"

She said as her hair flew behind her like a beautiful main. You couldn't help but put your hands around her face and bring her for a kiss. Your lips lingered on hers for a while, hands stoking her cheek and breathing linked and she pulled away questioning. "Why the kiss?"

"I just couldn't not kiss you right then"

"But in front of all these people ? Children"

"They won't die because I kissed the woman I love. They've seen people kiss before, they'll be fine"

"But the people here ?"

"I don't give a single fuck about them, I love you and they better get over it."

"I love you too" You enjoyed the rest of the ride, and after you got down you went to get wilhemina's cane for her, and as it took a little longer before she got out of it like the rest you heard someone tell her to get off the swing because people were waiting. You immediately turned around and went up to him, her stepped back a little "What did you just say ?"

"I..i said that this bitch needs to get off of the swing or learn to leave others their turn"

"You better shut the fuck up now, or else you really aren't going to enjoy the ride with a broken nose and bleeding face."

"Is that a threat ?"

"No it's a promise."

"It's unacceptable she ne.."

"And you need to stick your patience up your ass and fuck off. She'd be out of there in a second if you were able to keep your fucking mouth shut, now I bet you don't have any one in your life who has a disability except you because you are clearly having a stroke so let me tell you this. You say anything offensive to my wife. And I'll have your fucking ass in the floor."

"How dare you ? Telling all this in front of my kids"

"Maybe it'll teach them not to be complete assholes to people. Now your kids didn't say anything you did. So maybe you could thing about that"

"M'am you have to hurry..and keep your distance with the rest of the clients" The bold men tried to respond.

"But...i..i" ."

"we'll be out in a sec.. You. Save it. I honestly don't give a shit about your opinion, I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing it for her. Because if she weren't there I would have already been in jail for beating your ass. I'll say it once. Stay. Away. From. her. And keep your thoughts to your two inches long brain."

You went back to give her her cane and you both left the swings, glaring one last time at the men, who looked like he was about to piss his paints.

"Don't bother him, he's an ass"

"You don't always have to get in trouble for me"

"You're kidding right ? He was practically begging me to tell him off. Besides no one talks to you like this and gets away with it on my watch"

"He looked like a kid cought cheating have to admit watching you It was a little hot." She whispered in your ear

"Happy to oblige" you said as you pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and grazed her cheek. After that she bent forward a little and lifted her arms to try and do her hair back which you knew could hurt her.

"Hey hey no.. leave it" you said as you put your hands on hers.

"Let's sit over here baby"

You said while taking her to a small stair bench.

"Sir over here I'll sit on the one higher.

"Oh okay"

You settled her between your knees and asked for her hair tie.

"Do you really want to put it up again ? You know I love your hair down like this, you look so beautiful"

"I know you do, but it's our thing you know, I don't want it to become banal, I like that you're the only one who sees me like this, it makes it special"

"We have other things that are private darling, just because you go out with your hair down it doesn't mean it's not special anymore. I still get to see you in your nightwear or with a messy tee-shirt and a lazy bun."

"I know but still, I prefer keeping it up please"

"Okay baby no problem, can I put it up how I want ?"

"..fine yes, but no funny business"

"Of course" you said as you kissed her neck. You started sectioning her hair, brushing it through your fingers, huming softly. And you started breading, strands of hair between your hands, one over the other. Starting from up and then going down. Wilhemina relaxing visibly in your embrace, letting her head slightly back.

"Oooooooh, I am not the only traveler, who has not repaid His debt, I've been searching for a trail to follow again take me back to the night we met, and then I can tell myself what the hell am I supposed to do.

I had all and then most of you some and now none of you. Ooh

Take me back to the night we met.

"Here done"

"Can I sea ?"

"Let me just ..there "

"Oh..y/n"

"You don't like it ?"

"No..no i do like it.. it's different than what I'm used to"

"I figured you don't usually bread it because it's probably to painful, so I wanted to do something nice". "I love it y/n"

"You look beautiful"

She blushed softly before you kissed her lips.

Afterwards you were both a little hungry, so you took wilhemina to a candy shop, they sold many things like sugar canes and candy floss

You waited before asking Wilhemina what she wanted, and ordered a pomme d'amour for starters, and decided you would take candy floss to walk.

"It's going to be messy y/n we have to cut in"

"No..baby the whole thing is to bite it at the same time"

"I swear if you get my shirt stained"

"It won't willy"

"Oh you know I hate that nickname"

"That's why I use it willy"

She groaned and you both stood while you held the food.

"On three"

"Wait does that mean we bite on three or after three"

"Oh just bite it on three love"

"One."

"Two" you both said

"Three"

You both took a bite out of the apple, juices covering your taste buds and the sweet sugar envelope cracking.

You giggled with your mouths full  and finished the apple as much as you could, heads turning around to find a good angle and sharing the same space.

You noticed Wilhemina had sugar on her top lip corner.

"Baby you have a little something here"

"Oh..thank you"

She tried getting it off but it wasn't efficient. So you stepped closer.

"Here..let me do it" you said before setting down the rest of the dish and pressing her against you while your hands found her jaw and you kissed her soundly, she moaned a little when you bit her top lip. And grazed it with your tongue. It asked for entrance and Wilhemina granted it to you. You made out together for a little bit before parting a little and just holding each other for a while, pairs of hands around shoulders and hips.

After that you bought the candy floss and started walking around the park once again.

You both picked in each others sticks, exchanging looks, smiles and kisses.

Feeding each other bits every now and then.

After a dozen minutes you had both finished

And you kissed her again, sharing the taste of sugar between each other. Her cane pressed against her and her cheek in your hand.

"Thank you y/n"

"For what ?". "For giving my life purpose"

"Aw baby why do you have to be so damn cute ALL the time"

"I'm serious"

"Me too...and you don't need to thank me, you mean everything to me. Come here."

You said before taking her inside your arms, inhaling her sent and circling your arms around her frame. You pressed kisses in her hair and she place them in your neck.

"I love you so much Wilhemina"

She started to tear up a little bit before sniffling and hiding more inside your body.

"I mean it...baby you don't ever have to cry about that again..for I will hold you till the end of time itself. And in every one of your future life's I'll have you in my heart."

Time passed as you held each others before slowly getting going again.

You arrived at a shooting game, pushed animals were hanging from the walls and ceiling.

"Oh here let me win you something !"

"Oh come on darling these games are money black holes"

"Not if your good at it" she starting turning around and walking away

"Besides it's gun shooting you're not going to be any good at that love you don't own any. Also I think it's quite funny that yo..."

"Here m'am, ya just need to get those target over there to ya win"

"Huhh come on y/n, do you even know what I said"

"Ssh baby I gotta focus"

"Sshh? So you shush me now ?"

You ignored her rambling as your hands settled their positions and you started shooting the first few bullets hitting right on the targets, five bullets later you heard a ringing sound and the guy stunned by your performance started

"Well m'am I'll be honest I wasn't expecting ya to win on the first try. But here ya go, you can pick one of them little stuffed animals"

"Mm I'll have this one for my lady over there "

"Excellent choice...here there ya go ... have a nice day birdies"

You giggled and thanked him as you went up to Wilhemina and gave her the white furry bunny you had won.

"So since you were so supportive I'll just keep it to myself"

"...I'm sorry baby...i just didn't want you to waste your money" "I know"

You said as you handed her the toy, "it's for you baby", "Oh.. really ? Wow it's the first time my lover...well anyone wins me something at a game"

"Looks like I'm your first on lots of things babe"

"Heyy" she responded while jabbing your shoulder "Aww why do you always do that, I think I need to go check it at the hospital."

"Oh don't be A baby y/n"

"Well you're the one standing with a bunny in your arms so who's really the baby huh?" She frowned before she joined you in laughter. You walked hand in hand with her gift under her hand. The sun was starting to set slowly as you both chatted and enjoyed the rest of the day.

"Let's get married"

"...What ?"

"Here let's get married now"

"..y/n ? I don't understand...I'm not sure it's a good idea"

"Chill baby I meant there" you said as you pointed the small church in the middle of the other attractions.

"It says it celebrates unions and marriages, but nothing actually official"

"Oh .."

"So let's get married here darling. Let's have our unofficial official ceremony now"

You said as you led her to the counter

"Wait..."

"It's okay you don't want to"

"No..no I definitely want to, I'm just straddled, and what If they don't celebrate our 'marriage', baby there are no legal obligations here"

"Well I don't care if they don't celebrate 'Our' marriage. I'll find another fake church that does, but we have to try frist right ?"

She nodded and took your hand.

"Hello ladies how May I help you"

You both looked at each other and she smiled.

"We would like to get married." "Alright, are you married irl ?" "Nope"

"I have to inform you this is all outside of any actual legal union, this mariage is only valid here, and in your hearts."

"We know"

"Perfect then. Follow me" You arrived in a room filled with dressed and suits, the man asked if you wanted to pay before or after, you decided to do it now, Wilhemina didn't even notice you did. "I'll let you approximately 30 minutes to choose your formal wear and get dressed, an hour to prepare your vows and will Then accompany the... well brides walk down the aisle"

"If it's easier i don't mind being already there."

"Oh yes good. Anyway, I'll let you change, there are two different Rooms with staff so you don't see each other until marriage"

"Thank you". You both said before picking your outfits and trying on dresses and suits. After some time the man came back and took Wilhemina before letting you know where was the aisle. You waited there with the pastor, who didn't look used to celebrating marriages between women, but who wasn't mad about it. The music started and there was no one else in the church except for the few staff and you both. The doors opened and you saw your girlfriend walk arm in arm with the guy who welcomed you in. She looked ethereal, beautiful you had never seen such beauty before, her hair was in a beautiful hairdo, half down half up, a bunch of colored flowers in her hair and even a purple orange make-up.

She walked gracefully, her dress following her and a veil attached to her flower crown.

"Hey"

"Hey...wow, you...look... amazing...I'm so lucky" she blushed before being handled her cane and replied "Well...I must say You're not so Bad yourself y/n"

"Erm erm.. We are reunited today. To celebrate the union of two beautiful souls, linked together by life. Two hearts beating at the same pace, two bodies sharing one path. We are here, in the evening of this bright full day, to make the two women standing here, married, for better and for worst until death do them apart...If i may have the rings. " He took them and turned to Wilhemina "You will now exchange your vows"

"Oh..lord..sorry. this is the part I'm not going to be good at. But you already know that.

You know every part of me. Every single piece I've yet to discover. You hold them, in your arms. Steady, fierce, protective, bringing me the safe home i could have never hope to have. And yet here you stand. By my side every day. You hold my heart, and you make my sun hang, so bright yet so easy, in my sky. I didn't believe I could ever be liked. And you showed me unconditional love.

I didn't believe I was pretty, you made me feel like the most beautiful goddess in the world. I didn't believe I could feel it, but darling, you are the person I love like I would have never believed such feeling existed.. I am not good at expressing feelings, I find them to abstract, to volatile to be caught by my words. So I chose the ones of someone else that resonated with me so hard I believe them to be our own.

'You belong with me, my love. And I belong with you. We should live life side by side, In everything we do. You belong with me today, For now and ever more. And I belong with you, my dear, The one that I adore. We were meant to be, I know; It’s written in the stars. I love the way we are as one, And everything you are. Just think of all the moments Aligning for us to meet, So once we found each other, We were bound to feel complete. But this part of our story, We’ll sit and write together. Hanging memories on the wall,of the home we’ll share forever. So, both of us are certain. As we each say ‘I do’, That you belong with me, my love, And I belong with you." As she was done and the tears spilled from your eyes the pastor gave her a ring and spoke again.". "Now you will repeat after me as you place the ring on her, -I take you, y/f/n" "I take you y/f/n" ; "—to be my wedded Wife" "To be my wedded Wife"

"— to have and to hold from this day forward"; "To have and to hold from this day forward"

"—for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer''; "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer" ; "—in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,"; "in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,". "—till death do us part"

"Till death do us part"

She said as she finally settled the ring she picked out on you.

"You will now exchange your vows to your bride."

".. Wilhemina, every time I dreamed about love, it was always me finding it, searching, like a lost salior for my beloved boat.But little did I know, love would find me, it would find a way through my heart, in between the cracks of it, sunshine would bring healing. I remember when I first fell in love. The intensity, the warmth, I remember her smile, her hair. I remember how hard I loved. How wrong I may have, probably because of the youth. I remember how much it had hurt. When she was taken away from me. When I could no longer hold her body, when everything from her had immediately and indefinitely turned to dust. I remember how I cursed at the wind, yelled, screamed, cried, abused whatever God had been responsible for it, responsible for this pain love had brought. I swore, I swore to never love ever again. And I tried, I begged for love to leave me alone. I dreamed it would never hurt again. And I remember when I found you, and you found me. How utterly lost we had been. How stupid it was for me to think I would not fall for you.

For your smile.

For your laugh.

For your eyes.

For your tears of joy and sorrow. For every single beat of your heart. How stupid I had been, To think I would never fall again. But the truth is, I spent all these years climbing, to afraid, to hurt, to coward, to actually jump. But the more high you gain The longer and harder the fall. And man, did I fall. And man, how did it feel so terribly perfect to do so. And man, little did I know, you could make me fly. I wasn't scared anymore. It didn't hurt. It was the answer I had been searching for all of my life. The one I didn't know was within me all along, the one you brought to life. It was love, love was the answer. No Our, our love was the answer. I'm so completely and unapologetically in love with you. You, you, you it's always been you. And the stars are watching, they are jealous, and they talk because never in the eternal burn they experience, never did they see souls shine so bright. Our connection goes beyond speaking, you choose words to express what you want to say. I want words to choose how to express what I say.  In truth, we married each other that first night, in bed, we had been married by our bodies, but now we stand in history—what our bodies had said, mouth to mouth, we now said publicly, gathered together.

'I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz, or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:i love you as one loves certain obscure things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself, and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose from the earth lives dimly in my body. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride: I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love, except in this form in which I am not nor are you, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my dreams... We, unaccustomed to courage exiles from delight, live coiled in shells of loneliness, until love leaves its high holy temple and comes into our sight to liberate us into life. Love arrives and in its train come ecstasies, old memories of pleasure, ancient histories of pain. Yet if we are bold, love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls. We are weaned from our timidity, In the flush of love’s light, we dare be brave. And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love, which sets us free.'.. Today i stand here, as i will stand for as long as my fragile body allows me to, perhaps then I will sit, or lay, by your side my dear, always. And love within me blooms, and makes flowers from every cell in me grow. I will choose you over and over again love, I will hold you close, I will give you peace, I will bring you home. In me. In my heart."

"Now, for the ring.."

He gave you the one you'd picked for her, a thick golden string with amethyst, and Carnelian.

"-I take you, Wilhemina venable"

"I take you, Wilhemina venable"

"-to be my wedded Wife"

"To be my wedded Wife"

"- to have and to hold from this day forward"

"To have and to hold from this day forward"

"- for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer

"for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer"

"-in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,"

"in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,

"-till death do us part"

You finally slid the ring on her finger before saying.

"Till death do us part

"Perfect, you may now kiss the bide."

You turned to Wilhemina, picked the veil covering her face, lifted it and placed it backwards before taking she took her face in her hands and yours grabbed her hips, bending her slightly backwards before stealing her lips in the most beautiful and delicious kiss you both had the chance to share, oxygen wasn't even needed as your whole body experienced full Bliss, during the embrace you heard, no felt her mumble 'i love you' to which she know you replied by kissing her harder tumbling a little before parting away, faces close, smiles on both of your lips. You walked down the aisle tightly pressed together her hair darked than usual with the dim candle light. And as you went through the door, bells rang and you felt rice being thrown at you from somewhere you couldn't spot. Eventually you got outside, turned to your wife and spun her around before kissing for what would most definitely not be the last time of the day, body pressed together like it will be during your Wedding night.

When you came back home both of your touch yas tender yet urgent, you took no time to

Set your things, just immediately riding her of her day clothes and coat, slamming the door with your feet and taking her upstairs. Before the bedroom door you lifted her up over the threshold, "tradition is sacred my darling"

"Shut up and just make love to me"

Shortly you were both in your underwear, your body on top of hers, cradling her with kisses and caresses, your lips all over her body.

You began to take her nipple in your mouth and play with the other one, her back arched and she moaned loudly, you were starting to kiss your way down her body but she stopped you.

"I..I..want us to cum...together"

"I can't refuse my baby now"

You dragged down her body before teasing her inner thigh and kissing her clit, making sure she was wet enough, you went up her body again, your hand between her legs stating to work her up. Your own hand finding yourself, toying with your panties before sitting back and touching yourself for her to see. Once you were both ready you aligned both of your centers, and lowered yourself on her. Hearing a moan from both of your throats as the contact was a delightful bliss. Your moans filled the room as you rubbed your clitorises faster, wet sounds coming from the friction. "Uh..uH baby I'm getting close"

"..wait a bit for me.. can you do that ?"

"Uhh..yeah..yeaH" You doubled your efforts and before you knew it she was cumming all over you which triggered your own orgasm. You fell on her body, legs intertwined as your bodies sank into each others. Still catching her breath Wilhemina couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"...We got married...in an amusement park";

"We did baby...".

".....I love you";

"I love you too baby"

A/n: the italic pieces are bits of different poems, I couldn't settle for one, if you think cutting a poem is sacrilegious I'm sorry but I believe that Words and art is ment to be movements, live and change though our experiences of then, pieces of structure that you can use to build. your own.

#wilhemina venable #sarah paulson fanfiction #wilhemina venable x reader #sarah paulson characters #wilhelmina venable #soft!mina #ms venable

[heartoferebor]

Ooooh for the horror movie ask meme! 1, 2, 5, 6, and 9!

1. What was the last horror movie you watched?

I'm watching a lot more shows than movies atm! The last horror things I watched were Midnight Mass (fun though it didn't get me quite as much as Hill House did - mostly because the only thing I connect with religion is trauma and zero comfort) and Archive 81 (ultimately disappointing - a super intriguing setup and premise but in the end quite the letdown. Also, did they really have to straightwash one of the main characters?). The last horror movie I actually watched was a rewatch of Cabin in the Woods. Fuck the Whedong, but this is a DAMN good movie. The last horror movie I watched that I haven't seen before was the og Candyman, I think.

2. What is the scariest horror movie you’ve seen?

Oh my god I'm gonna ramble here bc like. This is SO SO subjective and a LOT of it doesn't just depend on the person but also on where you are at the moment in time when you watch a movie, both mentally and physically (I read Pet Sematary three days after my beloved childhood pet died. It was a very, very bad idea. I had nightmares for months). I think it is GENUINELY impossible to find an objective measure of how scary a movie it is. Like GENUINELY. So I'm gonna pick a few. I should also say that I get scared quite easily (or, well, used to. I have seen so many horror movies now that it takes a wee bit more to get me really terrified). I love being scared. That's why I watch horror movies - if I put on a horror movie I do it with the express purpose of wanting to be terrified. Give me that sweet sweet adrenaline and cataclysmic release of fears in a safe and controlled environment, thank you!

First shoutout goes to X-Files S1E3 "Squeeze" which I watched at 11 years old and that gave me nightmares for DAYS. I also saw The Haunting around the same time and it made me afraid of Stairwells for a good long time. Both of these are still very good today but they don't scare the crap out of me any longer. But back then...next big one I remember is Blair Witch Project which scared the crap out of me at 14 plus a few others, especially Japanese horror, that definitely did things.

Nowadays, the scariness factor is a bit different because it mostly relates to mental states etc. I'm going to throw three different ones in the ring here. Once again, I know more than one person who doesn't find these scary at all (also I just realised these are all fairly new which, hu. There's definitely old stuff that scares me too)

1) His House. This has got to be my favourite horror movie that came out in recent years. The acting, direction, cinematography etc was superb and it's, in my opinion, genuinely scary in a lot of different scenes.

2) The Descent. I've watched it so often now that the scariness has worn off a wee bit but even now it's still creepy as fuck. Just the entire atmosphere of being lost in an unknown cave system and tracked by unknown creatures is !!!!!!!!!

3) Hereditary. Yes YES I know! What a predictable answer. And shoutout to all the non-horror people who went to the movies to loudly proclaim how NOT scared they were. Great for you! You know what? I was scared. It's fantastic. And part of the fear isn't just the supernatural bit, it's the more relatable ones. But what if the demons haunting you will haunt your family? How much am I my parent's child? Will my dead sister ever stop tearing through my nightmares?

Putting the rest under a cut cause this is getting too long because I RAMBLE TOO MUCH.

5. List your top five horror films

I've actually done this before, except, I couldn't stick to a top 5. Here was the Top 10 from way back when and a more recent Top 10 with some extra recommendations!

Very quickly I'd say His House, The Descent, Hereditary, Ringu, Lake Mungo

6. What is your favorite genre of horror? (paranormal, slasher, etc.)

DEAD KIDS AND GHOSTS AND WEIRD FOREST CREATURES. Aka haunted house/haunting movies and folk horror. I prefer horror with a supernatural twist be that ghosts, demons, etc.

Least favourite are slashers and zombie flicks athough I enjoy the occasional good one.

9. Do you have any pet peeves for horror?

Also, I've talked about this in the previous post, but the whole jump scare thing. If you'll forgive me, I'll just copypaste that part of the answer -

Jump scares are overused and bad and if your movie relies on jump scares to be scary it’s a bad movie (best example: The Nun). You know what scares most people about jump scares? The SUDDEN LOUD MUSIC. You jump in your seat as a literal physical reaction and it’s like. Eugh. FIlmmarkers, stop using my body (and my autism-induced noise oversensitivity) against me and start using my brain and heart against me! And if you do that I’ll grant you your jump scares. Hereditary has, I think one or two? And they are INCREDIBLY effective because they are used to sparingly and because the movie earns them by creating a perfectly dreadful atmosphere without them first. Seeing a character going down a dark corridor and knowing something will jump with a loud violin screech is not scary. Seeing a character going down a dark corridor and seeing faint movement behind them, a shadowy face perhaps that slowly materialises on the ceiling above them, fingers that slowly creep closer - THAT is terrifying. I’ll take Samara crawling out of the TV in slo-mo any day over boogieman hopping out of the closet as the former is much scarier.

On a second, slightly more hilarious note, I am so tired of Lovecraft discourse. Is every dudebro trying to rip off Eldritch monsters and holding Lovecraft up as the end-all of horror boring and annoying as fuck? Heck yeah. Was Lovecraft a horrible racist antisemite whose personal philosophies found their way into his writing and influence our thinking about 'The Other' to this yeah? 100%. Do I think nobody should use Eldritch monsters in anything ever because of this and its this always boring and badly done? Nah! Take 'em tentacle babies, be aware of the pitfalls, and have fun. Sheesh.

Ask me about horror movies!

#booksnchocolate #reply #cw horror #IM SORRY I TALK TOO MUCH #also now i want to rewatch the descent for the 100th time thank u

[im-just-trying-to-get-bi]

(Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) Narrator: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. (Barry is picking out a shirt) Barry: Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Janet: Barry! Breakfast is ready! Barry: Coming! Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) Barry: Hello (Through phone) Adam: Barry? Barry: Adam? Adam: Can you believe this is happening? Barry: I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) Martin: Looking sharp. Janet: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Barry: Sorry. I'm excited. Martin: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Janet: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) Barry: Ma! I got a thing going here. Janet: You got lint on your fuzz. Barry: Ow! That's me! Janet: Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. Bye! (Barry flies out the door) Janet: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) Barry: Hey, Adam. Adam: Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) Adam: Is that fuzz gel? Barry: A little. Special day, graduation. Adam: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) Barry: Three days grade school, three days high school... Adam: Those were awkward. Barry: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. Adam: You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) Artie: Hi, Barry! Barry: Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Adam: Hear about Frankie? Barry: Yeah. Adam: You going to the funeral? Barry: No, I'm not going to his funeral. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. Adam: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) Adam: I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. Barry: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) {♬ Playing "Pomp and Circumstance" ♬} Barry: Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) Barry: Well, Adam, today we are men. Adam: We are! Barry: Bee-men. Adam: Amen! Barry and Adam: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) {♬ "Pomp and Circumstance" Ends ♬} Announcer: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Dean: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of......9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Adam: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) Barry: I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) Tour Guide: Heads up! Here we go. Announcer: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. Barry: Wonder what it'll be like? Adam: A little scary. Tour Guide: Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! Barry and Adam: Wow. Barry: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) Tour Guide: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Everyone: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) Adam: That girl was hot. Barry: She's my cousin! Adam: She is? Barry:

Yes, we're all cousins. Adam: Right. You're right. Tour Guide: At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) Adam: What do you think he makes? Barry: Not enough. Tour Guide: Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. (They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each wearing a finger-shaped hat) Barry: Wow, What does that do? Tour Guide: Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Adam: (Intrigued) Can anyone work on the Krelman? Tour Guide: Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. (Everyone claps except for Barry) Barry: The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. Adam: What's the difference? Tour Guide: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. Barry: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) Adam: Wow! That blew my mind! Barry: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. Adam: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. Barry: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Adam: Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. Barry: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Adam: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) Barry: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Announcer: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Barry: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) Barry: Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! Adam: Wow. I've never seen them this close. Barry: They know what it's like outside the hive. Adam: Yeah, but some don't come back. Girl Bees: Hey, Jocks! Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away) Lou Lo Duva: You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) Lou Lo Duva: I love it! Adam: I wonder where they were. Barry: I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Adam: Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) Barry: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. Adam: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Barry: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them) Adam: Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Barry: Distant. Distant. Pollen Jock #1: Look at these two. Pollen Jock #2: Couple of Hive Harrys. Pollen Jock #1: Let's have fun with them. Girl Bee #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Barry: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) Girl Bee #2: Oh, my! Barry: I never thought I'd knock him out. Girl Bee #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? Adam: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. Barry: I can autograph that. (The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) Pollen Jock #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Barry: Yeah. Gusty. Pollen Jock #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six

miles from here tomorrow. Barry: Six miles, huh? Adam: Barry! Pollen Jock #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. Barry: Maybe I am. Adam: You are not! Pollen Jock #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? Barry: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) Martin: Hey, Honex! Barry: Dad, you surprised me. Martin: You decide what you're interested in? Barry: Well, there's a lot of choices. But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Martin: Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. Barry: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. Martin: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! Janet: Barry, you are so funny sometimes. Barry: I'm not trying to be funny. Martin: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! Janet: You're gonna be a stirrer? Barry: No one's listening to me! Martin: Wait till you see the sticks I have. Barry: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) Martin: Let's open some honey and celebrate! Barry: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! Janet: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) Adam: We're starting work today! Barry: Today's the day. Adam: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Barry: Yeah, right. Job Lister: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... Bee in the front of the line: Is it still available? Job Lister: Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. Adam: What'd you get? Bee in the front of the line: Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) Adam: Wow! Job Lister: Couple of newbies? Adam: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Job Lister: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing) Adam: You want to go first? Barry: No, you go. Adam: Oh, my. What's available? Job Lister: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. Adam: Any chance of getting the Krelman? Job Lister: Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) Job Lister: I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Job Lister: Wax monkey's always open. Adam: The Krelman opened up again. What happened? Job Lister: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Adam: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Adam: Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) Adam: Barry! Pollen Jock #1: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... Adam: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? Barry: I'm going out. Adam: Out? Out where? Barry: Out there. Adam: Oh, no! Barry: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. Adam: You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Adam: Hello? Pollen Jock #2: Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Barry: Hey, guys. Pollen Jock #1: Look at that. Pollen Jock #2: Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Lou Lo Duva: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. Pollen Jock #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder)

Lou Lo Duva: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Bee with Clipboard: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. Thank you. Lou Lo Duva: OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! Barry: That's awful. Lou Lo Duva: (Still talking through megaphone) And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Pollen Jocks: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Lou Lo Duva: Black and yellow! Pollen Jocks: Hello! Pollen Jock #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? Barry: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Pollen Jocks: Wind, check. Antennae, check. Nectar pack, check. Wings, check. Stinger, check. Barry: Scared out of my shorts, check. Lou Lo Duva: OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) Barry: Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) Barry: Wow! Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) Pollen Jock: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! Pollen Jock #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) Barry: That is one nectar collector! Pollen Jock #1: Ever see pollination up close? Barry: No, sir. (Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) Pollen Jock #1: I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. Barry: That's amazing. Why do we do that? Pollen Jock #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Barry: Cool. Pollen Jock #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? Pollen Jock #2: Copy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Pollen Jock #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Pollen Jock #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) Ken: (In the distance) That was on the line! Pollen Jock #1: This is the coolest. What is it? Pollen Jock #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Pollen Jock #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) Pollen Jock #3: Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) Pollen Jock #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) Pollen Jock #2: My sweet lord of bees! Pollen Jock #3: Candy-brain, get off there! Pollen Jock #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) Barry: Guys! Pollen Jock #2: This could be bad. Pollen Jock #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it) Barry: Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) Pollen Jock #1: You are way out of position, rookie! Ken: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) Barry: (In slow motion) Help me! Pollen Jock #2: I don't think these are flowers. Pollen Jock #3: Should we tell him? Pollen Jock #1: I think he knows. Barry: What is this?! Ken: Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen

jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) Barry: Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) Barry: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) Girl in the car: There's a bee in the car! Do something! Dad driving the car: I'm driving! Baby Girl: (Waving at Barry) Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) Guy in the back of the car: He's back here! He's going to sting me! Girl in the car: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) Grandma in the car: He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) Girl in the car: Spray him, Granny! Dad driving the car: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above the ground, safe.) Barry: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) Barry: I gotta get home. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Pollen Jock #1: You are way out of position, rookie! Ken: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) Barry: (In slow motion) Help me! Pollen Jock #2: I don't think these are flowers. Pollen Jock #3: Should we tell him? Pollen Jock #1: I think he knows. Barry: What is this?! Ken: Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) Barry: Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) Barry: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) Girl in the car: There's a bee in the car! Do something! Dad driving the car: I'm driving! Baby Girl: (Waving at Barry) Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) Guy in the back of the car: He's back here! He's going to sting me! Girl in the car: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) Grandma in the car: He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) Girl in the car: Spray him, Granny! Dad driving the car: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above the ground, safe.) Barry: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) Barry: I gotta get home. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain.(a raindrop hits him, but before he can recover, another hits him) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (Barry sees a window ledge and barely makes it there, then crawls through the open window.) Vanessa: Ken, could you close the window please? Ken: Huh? Oh.. Hey, Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Barry: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (tries to fly out the window but bounces off of it) Oof! Ow! What was that? (tries again) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This, this, this, this... Drapes. (taps the glass) That is diabolical. Ken: (showing off his resume:) It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. Andy: What's your number one? Star Wars? Ken: Nah, I don't go for that... (mimics lasers firing) ...kind of stuff. Barry: No wonder we’re not supposed to talk to them. They're out of their minds. Ken: When I walk out of a job interview, they're flabbergasted. They can't believe the things I say. Barry: There's the sun. Maybe

that's a way out. (flies towards the light near the ceiling) I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (bounces off it and starts falling, landing in a bowl of chip dip) Ken: I gotta tell ya, I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy scoops up some of the dip with a tortilla chip, including Barry, and brings it towards his mouth) Ken: Wait! Stop! Bee! Anna: Kill it! Kill it! Ken: (grabs something to kill it) Stand back. These are winter boots. Vanessa: Wait! Don't kill him! Ken: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Vanessa: Well, why does his life have any less value than yours? (Vanessa places a lass over Barry) Ken: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? Vanessa: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa rips Ken's resume in half and slides it under the glass) Ken: My brochure. Vanessa: (carries the glass with Barry inside over to the window and release him) There you go, little guy. Ken: I'm not scared of him. But yeah, it's an allergic thing. Andy: Hey, why don't you put that on your resume-brochure? Ken: It's not funny. My whole face could puff up. Andy: Hmm, make it one of your "special skills". Ken: You know, knocking someone out is also a special skill. (later, as the rain stops and the sun comes back out) Anna: Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. Ken: Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? Vanessa: Ah, yeah, sure, Ken. You know, whatever. Ken: You could put carob chips on there. Vanessa: Bye. Ken: Supposed to be less calories or somethin'. Vanessa: Bye. (the last of her guests have left. She shuts the door and begins cleanup.) Barry: (sighs) I gotta say something. She saved my life. I've got to say something. All right, here it goes. (Barry flies back into her house through the almost-closed window and stops in front of a can of Bumble Bee Chunk Light Tuna as Vanessa walks by, stopping right in line with the mascot. He starts to walk away and looks back. Says, "Huh" and turns back around to look at the mascot, then says "Nah" as he dismisses the picture and continues walking.) (Barry resumes flying and lands on a postcard from Coney Island taped to the refrigerator, again in a position where Vanessa doesn't notice him.) Barry: What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. (begins debating with himself) I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Come on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "Ya like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Barry: (to Vanessa:) Um, hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes) Barry: I'm sorry. Vanessa: Hah, you're talking. Barry: Yes, I know, I know. I'm so– Vanessa: You're talking. Barry: I know. I'm– I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Vanessa: No, it's okay. It's fine. It's just... I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Barry: Well, you know, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.... Vanessa: Yeah! I mean, this is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! Barry: Yeah. Vanessa: Yeah. Barry: Yeah, I am a bee. And, uh, you know I'm not supposed to be doing this, but... (Vanessa makes a small "Oh" and "uh-huh" noises while Barry's talking) Barry: ...they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I mean, I had to thank you. It's, it's just the way I was raised. (Vanessa grabs a fork and stabs herself in the hand, then cries out) Barry: Oh! That was a little weird. Vanessa: I'm talking to a bee. Barry: Yeah. Vanessa: I'm talking to a bee. Barry: Anyway... Vanessa: And the bee is talking to me! Barry: Um, I just want to say I'm grateful, and I'm going to leave now. Vanessa: Wait, wait, wait, wait! How did you learn to do that? Barry: What? Vanessa: That- that- that- that... The talking thing. Barry: Oh, same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. Vanessa: (laughs unconvincingly) That's very funny. Barry: Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal

with. Anyway... Vanessa: Can I uh... get you something? Barry: Like what? Vanessa: I don't know. I mean.. I don't know. Coffee? Barry: Well, uh, I don't want to put you out, unless you're making it anyway. Vanessa: Oh, it's no trouble. Oh, it takes two minutes. Barry: Really? Vanessa: It's just coffee. Barry: I hate to impose. Vanessa: Don't be ridiculous! Barry: Actually, I would love a cup. Vanessa: Hey, you want a little rum cake? Barry: I really shouldn't. Vanessa: Have a little rum cake. Barry: No, no, no, I can't. Vanessa: Oh, come on! Barry: You know, I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms here. Vanessa: Where? Barry: Well... these stripes don't help. Vanessa: You look great! Barry: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. (Vanessa walks away and begins pouring coffee onto the floor, a coffee cup in her other hand) Barry: Are you all right? Vanessa: No. (fade to Vanessa and Barry on her roof terrace, talking and having coffee) Barry: He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. So he finally gets there. Vanessa: Uh huh. Barry: He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on... Vanessa: Yeah? Barry: ...and he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan." Vanessa: Uh huh? Barry: Why would I marry a watermelon? (Barry laughs) (Vanessa's more confused than amused. Barry gestures, indicating his joke is done.) Vanessa: Oh, Is that a... a bee joke? Barry: Yeah, that's the kind of stuff that we do. Vanessa: Yeah, different. So, anyway, what are you gonna do, Barry? Barry: About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I, I can't do it the way they want. Vanessa: I know how you feel. Barry: You do? Vanessa: Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. Barry: Really? Vanessa: My only interest is flowers. Barry: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Vanessa: Oh, huh. Barry: Anyway, you see if you look... There. There's my hive right there. You can see it. Vanessa: Oh, you're in Sheep Meadow! Barry: Yes! You know the turtle pond? Vanessa: Yes? Barry: I'm right off of that. Vanessa: Oh, no way! I know that area. Do you know I lost a toe ring there once. (behind them, a janitor comes onto the roof and begins working on replacing a light bulb) Barry: Really? Vanessa: Yes. Barry: Why do girls put rings on their toes? Vanessa: Well, why not? Barry: I don't know. It's like putting a hat on your knee. Vanessa: Maybe I'll try that. Janitor: You all right, ma'am? Vanessa: (realizing how it must look, talking to herself:) Oh, yeah, fine. Just having two cups of coffee. (she laughs) (Vanessa and Barry share a little quiet time) Barry: Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Vanessa: Oh, yeah, it's no trouble. Barry: Sorry I couldn't finis it. If I did, I'd be up for the rest of my life. Are you... Umm. Can I take a piece of this with me? Vanessa: Sure! Here, have a crumb. (She passes one to Barry on her fingertip) Barry: Oh, thanks. Vanessa: Yeah. Barry: All right, well, then... I guess I'll see you around, or not, or... Vanessa: Okay, Barry. Barry: And thank you so much again... for before. Vanessa: Oh, that? That was nothing. Barry: Well, not nothing, but... anyway... (Barry extends his hand. Vanessa touches it with her finger and they gingerly shake. The janitor looks over and continues tightening the bulb in the socket. It shorts, causing him to lose his balance and fall backwards.) (The next day at the Honex building, hurricane survival testing is in progress. A bee wearing a parachute is in a wind tunnel.) Testing bee 1: This can't possibly work. Testing bee 2: Well, he's all set to go. We may as well try it. (via intercom:) Okay, Dave. pull the chute. (Dave pulls the cord and is immediately blown backwards. He slides down the wall and shakily gives a thumbs up signal. Barry and Adam walk by the outside of the testing chamber.) Adam: Sounds amazing. Barry: Oh, it was amazing. It- it was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Adam: Humans! Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant scary

humans! What were they like? Barry: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy, they eat crazy giant things. They drive around real crazy. Adam: And do they try and kill you like on TV? Barry: Some of them. But some of them don't. Adam: How'd you get back? Barry: Poodle. Adam: Look, you did it. And I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see out there, You had your "experience", and now you're back, you can pick out your job and everything can be normal. Barry: Well... Adam: Well? Well? Barry: Well, I met someone. Adam: You met someone? Was she Bee-ish? Barry: Mmm. Adam: Not a wasp? Your parents will kill you. Barry: No, no, no, not a wasp. Adam: Spider? Barry: You know, I'm not attracted to the spiders. I know to everyone else it's like the hottest thing with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. (Barry grimaces and makes a noise.) Adam: So, uh, who is she? Barry: She's... uh... a human. Adam: Oh no, no, no, no. That didn't happen. You didn't do that. That is a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. Barry: Her name's Vanessa. Adam: Oh, oh boy! Barry: She's so-o nice. And she's a florist! Adam: Oh, no. No, no, no! You're dating a human florist? Barry: W-w-well, we're not dating. Adam: You're flying outside the hive. You're talking to human beings that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s. That's one-eighth of a stick of dynamite. Barry: She saved my life. And she understands me. Adam: This is over. Barry: (pulls out the rum cake crumb) Eat this. (pushes it into Adam's face.) Adam: This is not over. What was that? Barry: They call it a crumb. Adam: That was so stingin' stripey! Barry: And that's not even what they eat. That just falls off what they eat. Do you know what a Cinnabon is? Adam: No. Barry: It's bread... Adam: Come in here! (opens the door to the office where he works and guides Barry inside) Barry: ...and cinnamon, Adam: Be quiet! Barry: ...and frosting. They heat it up– Adam: Sit down! Barry: Really hot! Adam: Listen to me! We are not them. We're us. There's us and there's them. Barry: Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning... Adam: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. (another bee joins in:) Thinking bee. (and another joins in:) Thinking bee. (all bees in the office begin chanting:) Thinking bee. Thinking bee. Thinking bee. (Outside his house, Barry sits on a raft in his family's hexagon-shaped honey pool, legs dangling into the honey. Mom and dad approach, wearing cabana-type outfits, sun shining behind them.) Mom: There he is. He's in the pool. Dad: You know what your problem is, Barry? Barry: I've got to start thinking bee? Dad: Barry, how much longer is this going to go on? It's been three days. I don't understand why you're not working. Barry: Well, I've got a lot of big life decisions I'm thinking about Dad: What life? You have no life! You have no job! You're barly a bee! Barry: Augh. Mom: Would it kill you to just make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the pool.) Mom: Barry, come out from under there. Your rather's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Dad: Barry, I'm talking to you. (Barry keeps swimming downward through the honey, which clears and leads him to a park where Vanessa is waiting for him, reclining on a picnic blanket. "Sugar Sugar" by The Archies is playing in the background. She swats a mosquito that lands on her leg, then looks at Barry for his reaction. Both are surprised, but then laugh about it.) Vanessa: You coming? (said in a sultry way) Barry: Got everything? Vanessa: All set. (She gets into a one-man ultralight plane with a black-and-yellow paint job and puts on her helmet. She and the plane are now Barry's size.) Barry: You go ahead. I'll catch up. Vanessa: Don't be too long. (The plane takes off. Barry soon catches up and they fly together.) Vanessa: Watch this! (The plane does a loop, trailing red smoke that forms a heart, then crashes into the side of a rock pile, bursting into flames.) Barry: (yelling in anguish:) Vanessa! (his cry changes to bubbles escaping

his mouth) (Barry breaks the surface of the pool, gasping for air.) Dad: We're still here, Barry. Mom: I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond when you yell at him. Dad: Then why are you yelling at me? Mom: Because you don't listen. Dad: Ah, I'm not listing to this. Barry: (dries himself and puts on his sweater) Sorry Mom, I've got to go. Mom: Where are you going? Barry: Nowhere. I'm meeting a friend. Mom: (calling after him:) A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Barry: Bye! Mom: I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Vanessa exits her florist shop, flipping the sign over and locking the door.) Barry: (he see the Tournament of Roses Parade poster) So they have a huge parade of just flowers every year in Pasadena? Vanessa: Oh, to be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream. Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. Barry: Wow, a tournament. Do the roses actually complete in athletic events? Vanessa: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? Barry: It's exhausting. Vanessa: Hmmm. Barry: Why don't you run everywhere? Isn't that faster? Vanessa: Yeah, okay. I see, I see. All right, your turn. Barry: Ah! Tivo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane. Vanessa: What, you don't have anything like that? Barry: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Vanessa: Oh my. (They turn a corner onto a busier street. People start swatting at Barry.) Man: Dumb bees! Vanessa: You must just want to sting all those jerks. Barry: We really try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. Vanessa: So you really have to watch your temper? (they enter a supermarket) Barry: Oh yeah, very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. You work though it like any emotion– anger, jealousy, (under his breath) lust. (Barry lands on cardboard boxes in the aisle. A stock boy hits him with a rolled-up advertisement.) Vanessa: (to Barry:) Oh my goodness. Are you okay? Barry: Yeah. Whew! Vanessa: (to Hector, the stockboy:) What is wrong with you?! Hector: It's a bug. Vanessa: Well, he's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep. (She slaps him with the advertisement and he leaves, muttering.) Barry: (shakes off the hit) What was that, a Pick and Save circular? Vanessa: Yeah, it was. How did you know? Barry: It felt like about ten pages. Seventy-five's pretty much our limit. Vanessa: Boy, you've really got that down to a science. Barry: Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. Vanessa: I'll bet. Barry: (he stops when he sees the rows of honey jars) What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Cute Bee? Golden Blossom? Ray Liotta Private Select. Vanessa: Is he that actor? Barry: I never heard of him. Why is this here? Vanessa: For people. We eat it. Barry: Why? (he gestures around the market) You don't have enough food of your own? Vanessa: Well yes, we– Barry: How do you even get it? Vanessa: Well, bees make it... Barry: I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating and cooling, and stirring... you need a whole Krelman thing. Vanessa: It's organic. Barry: It's our-ganic! Vanessa: It's just honey, Barry. Barry: Just... what?! Bees don't know about this. This is stealing. A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, our schools, our hospitals. This is all we have. And it's on sale? I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I'm going to get to the bottom of all of this! (Barry rips off the label from a jar of Ray Liotta Private Select Honey) (Later, Barry's infiltrating the supermarket loading dock by covering up his yellow stripes with a Magic Marker and putting on war paint. Hector's opening more boxes of honey jars.) Man: Hey, Hector. You almost done? Hector: Almost. (Barry steps in some honey. Hector stops and turns.) Hector: He is here. I sense it. (he grabs his box cutter as Barry hides) (Barry hides behind a box again) Hector: (talking loud to the open room as he opens a jar of honey from a box:) Well, I guess I'll go home now, and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.

(pretends to walk away) Barry: (he steps out into the light) You're busted, box boy! Hector: Ah ha! I knew I heard something. So, you can talk. (Barry flies at him, stinger first, backing him against the wall. Hector drops the knife.) Barry: Oh, I can talk. And now you're going to start talking. Where are you getting all the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?! Hector: I don't know what you're talking about. I though we were all friends. The last thing we want to do is upset any of you... bees! (Hector grabs a push pin. Barry begins fencing with his stinger..) Hector: Ha! You're too late. It's ours now! Barry: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword. Hector: You, sir, are about to be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (The fight continues. They cross swords and get nose-to-nose.) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? (Barry knocks the push pin away and put his stinger up to Hector's nose.) Tell me where! Hector: (points to a truck) Honey Farms. It comes from Honey Farms. (Barry flies after the departing truck, dodging a bus, taxis and a messenger on a bicycle. One driver yells at messenger, "Crazy person!") (Barry continues his pursuit, using the elastic strap on a bicycle messenger's helmet to launch himself towards the truck. He lands on the windshield, pressed against it by the wind. He sees himself surrounded by dead bugs, then works his way around them.) Barry: Oh my. What horrible thing has happened here? Look at these faces. They never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere. (a mosquito opens his eyes) Pssst! Just keep still. Barry: What? You're not dead? Mooseblood: Do I look dead? Hey man, they will wipe anything that moves. Now, where you headed? Barry: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. Mooseblood: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood. Crazy stuff. Blows your head off. Ladybug: I'm going to Tacoma. Barry: (to a fly:) What about you? Mooseblood: He really is dead. Barry: All right. (the driver's hand moves to the windshield wiper lever) Mooseblood: Uh oh. Barry: What is that? Mooseblood: Oh no! It's a wiper, triple blade! Barry: Triple blade? Mooseblood: Jump on. It's your only chance, bee. (They hang onto the wiper as it moves back and forth. Mooseblood yells at the driver through the glass) Mooseblood: Why does everything have to be so dog-gone clean?! How much do you people need to see? Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! (inside the cab, the radio's playing) Announcer: For NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. Mooseblood: But don't kill no more bugs! (he is flung off the wiper as the washer fluid sprays onto the windshield) Beeeeeeeee! Barry: Moose blood guy! (Barry gets flung off, grabs ahold of the radio antenna. A cricket flying by grabs ahold of the antenna. Both scream are screaming.) Driver: You hear something? Passenger: Like what? Driver: Like tiny screaming. Passenger: Turn off the radio. (The driver turns off the radio and the antenna retracts. As it lowers, the cricket and Barry work their way to its top. Barry wins and the cricket has to let go, but then so does Barry, and he's sucked into the air horn on the top of the truck.) Mooseblood: Hey, what's up, bee boy? Barry: Hey, Blood! (inside the truck horn, later during the drive) Barry: ...and it was just an endless row of honey jars as far as the eye could see. Mooseblood: Wow. Barry: So I'm just assuming wherever this honey truck goes, that's where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours! Mooseblood: Bees hang tight. Barry: Well, we're all jammed in there. It's a close community. Mooseblood: Not us, man. We're on our own. Every- every mosquito is on his own. Barry: But what if you get in trouble? Mooseblood: Trouble? You're a mosquito. You're in trouble! Nobody likes us. They're just all smackin'. People see a mosquito, smack, smack! Barry: At least you're out in the world. You must meet a lot of girls. Mooseblood: Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly.... Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. (A bloodmobile passes them.) Mooseblood: Whoa, you have got to be kidding me.

Mooseblood's about to leave the building. So long bee. (he leaves and jumps onto the other vehicle, saying to the bugs on its windshield:) Hey guys. I knew I'd catch you all down here. Did you bring your crazy straws? (At Honey Farms, the truck stops. Barry flies out of the horn and lands on the nose of the truck. Two beekeepers walk around the back side of the gift shop. Barry follows, landing in a tree.) Freddy: ...then we throw it in some jars, slap a label on it. It's pretty much pure profit. Barry: What is this place? Elmo: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. Freddy: They are pinheads. (both laugh and Elmo says, "Pinhead". Freddy opens a smoker box after they arrive) Freddy: Hey, check out the new smoker. Elmo: Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. Freddy: The Thomas 3000. Barry: Smoker? Freddy: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. (both laugh again) Freddy: Couple of breaths of this, knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. (Barry flies onto Freddy's hat and onto the brim.) Elmo: "They make the honey, and we make the money." (Freddy and Elmo walk onward. Freddy opens an apiary box and sprays it with smoke. Inside, the bees start moaning and gasping.) Barry: Oh my. (Barry flies into the open box as Freddy leaves and makes his way into an apartment. Two bees are just waking up.) Barry: What's going on? Are you okay? Howard: Yeah, it doesn't last too long. Barry: How did you two get here? Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Howard: (points to a picture) Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. Barry: (looks at the picture) This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes. That's a drag-queen! (The walls separating the apartments are removed, revealing hundreds of them.) Barry: What is this? (Flies through the apartments and out into the open air. He hovers high above a tree, where he sees even more apiary boxes on the farm. He begins taking pictures) Oh no. There's hundreds of them. Bee honey, our honey, is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale. (Back at home, Barry's talking with his parents, Adam and Uncle Carl.) Barry: This is worse than anything the bears have done to us. And I intend to do something about it. Mom: Oh Barry, stop. Dad: Who told you that humans are taking our honey? That's just a rumor. Barry: Do these look like rumors? (Barry throws his pictures on the table) Uncle Carl: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. Barry: Ugh. Mom: Barry, how did you get mixed up in all this? Adam: 'Cause he's been talking to humans! Mom: Whaaat? Dad: Talking to humans?! Adam: He has a human girlfriend... Dad: Oh Barry. Adam: ...and they make out! Mom: Make out? Barry? Barry: We do not. Adam: You wish you could. Barry: Who's side are you on? Adam: The bees! Uncle Carl: I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Man, those crazy legs kept me up all night. Hotcheewah! Mom: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?: Barry: This is what I want to do for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees. Dad, I remember you coming home some nights so overworked, you- your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop them. Dad: Ehhh... Mom: (to her husband:) I remember that. Barry: What right do they have to our hard-earned honey? We're living on two cups a year. They're puttin' it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever. Dad: Even if it's true, Barry, what could one bee do? Barry: I'm going to sting them where it really hurts. Dad: In the face! Barry: No. Dad: In the eye! That would really hurt. Barry: No. Dad: Up the nose. That's a killer, heh heh. Barry: No. There's only one place you can sting the humans. One place where it really matters. (The scene cuts to the title sequence of the "Hive at Five" program. The title sequence shows news events covered in the past: a Pollen Jock coming in for a crash landing with a stinger that's on fire, a protest about bee beards, and a bear destroying a hive. Next are the newscasters.) voice over: Hive at Five, the hive's only full hour action news source. With Bob Bumble

at the anchor desk, weather with Storm Stinger, sports with Buzz Larvi, and Jeanette Chung. Bob: Good evening, I'm Bob Bumble. Jeanette: And I'm Jeanette Chung. Bob: Our top story, a tri-county bee, Barry Benson is saying he intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it, and profiting from it illegally. (Broadcast shifts again to another studio in the building for "Bee Larry King Live".) Bee Larry King: Don't forget, tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we're gonna have three former Queens, all right here in our studio, discussing their new book, Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. (to Barry:) Tonight, we're talking with Barry Benson. Did ya ever think, I'm just a kid from the hive. I can't do this? Barry: Larry, bees have never been afraid to change the world. I mean, what about Bee-Columbus? Bee-Ghandi? Be-geesus? Bee Larry King: Well, where I'm from, you wouldn't think of suing humans. We were thinking more like stick ball, uh, candy stores. Barry: How old are you? Bee Larry King: Well, I want you to know that they entire bee community is supporting you in this case, which is certain to be the trial of the bee century. Barry: Thank you, Larry. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world, too. Bee Larry King: It's a common name. Next week on Bee Larry King... Barry: No, I mean he looks like you. And he has a show with suspenders and different colored dots behind him. Bee Larry King: Next week on Bee Larry King... Barry: Old guy glasses, and there's quotes along the bottom from the guest you're watching even though you just heard them... Bee Larry King: Bear next week! They're scary, they're hairy, and they're here live. (he exits) Barry: Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes.... Very Jewish. (Nighttime at Vanessa's Flower Shop. Law books and legal forms are piled up.) Ken: Look, in- in tennis, you attack at the point of weakness. Vanessa: But it was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Ken: Huh, honey, her backhand's a joke. I'm not going to take advantage of that? Barry: Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. Ken: Is that that same bee? Barry: Yes it is. Vanessa: I'm helping him sue the human race. Ken: Wha? Barry: (enters room, sees Ken) Oh, hello. Ken: Hello, bee. Vanessa: This is Ken. Barry: Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Ken: Why does he talk again, hun? Vanessa: Listen, you better go because we're really busy working. Ken: But it's our yogurt night. Vanessa: (she pushes him out the door) Oh... bye bye. Ken: (from outside the now-closed door) Why is yogurt night so difficult? Vanessa: Oh you poor thing, you two have been at this for hours. Barry: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. (Adam is asleep inside an empty Cinnabon box, covered in frosting and muttering in his sleep about it.) Vanessa: (referring to the coffee:) How many sugars? Barry: Just one. I try not to use the competition. Ooh! So, why are you helping me, anyway? Vanessa: Bees have good qualities. Barry: Si, Certo. Vanessa: And it feels good to take my mind off the shop. I don't know why, instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Barry: Yeah, those are great... if you're three. Vanessa: And artificial flowers. Barry: Oh, those just get my psychotic! Vanessa: Yeah, me too. Barry: The bent stingers, the pointless pollination. Vanessa: Bees must hate those fake plastic things. Barry: There's nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Vanessa: Well, maybe this could make up for it a little bit. (they exit the flower shop and go to the mailbox) Vanessa: You know, Barry, this lawsuit is a pretty big deal. Barry: I guess. Vanessa: Are you sure that you want to go through with it? Barry: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty. (Outside the courthouse, a reporter begins her segment, talking to the camera.) Reporter: Sarah, it's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan where all eyes and ears of the world are anxiously waiting, because for the first time in

history, we're going to hear for ourselves if a honey bee can actually speak. (Inside, Barry, Vanessa and Adam sit at a table.) Vanessa: What have we gotten into here, Barry? Barry: I don't know, but it's pretty big, isn't it? Adam: I can't believe how many humans don't have to be at work during the day. Barry: Hey, you think these billion dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? (Back outside the courthouse, a policeman announces though a megaphone, "Folks, everybody needs to stay behind the barricade." A very expensive car drives up with a license plate saying "ALIBUY" and the initials LTM on the hood ornament. The lawyer gets out, sees a bug and steps on it. Inside, Barry shudders.) Vanessa: What's the matter? Barry: I don't know. I just got a chill. Layton T. Montgomery: Well, if it isn't the B-Team.. (waves a honey packet he picked up from the saucer holding his drink) Any of you boys work on this? (he chuckles) Bailiff: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. Judge Bumbleton: All right... Case number 4475, Superior Court of New York. Barry Bee Benson vs. the honey industry, is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five major food companies, collectively. Layton: A privilege. Judge: Ah, Mr. Benson. You are representing all bees of the world? (Inside and outside the courtroom, everyone is waiting to hear what he will say.) Barry: Bzzz bzzz bzzz...Ahh, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Yes, your honor. We are ready to proceed. Judge: And Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Layton: (clears throat and speaks in a very heavy and exaggerated Southern drawl) Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. My grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we were to live in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, j-j-just think of what it would mean. Maybe I would have to negotiate with the silk worm for the elastic in my britches. Talking bee. How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion picture capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams, robotics, ventriloquism, cloning...for all we know, he could be on steroids! Judge: Mr. Benson? Barry: Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. And as a bee, honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it, we make it, and we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take whatever they want from us 'cause we're the little guys. And what I'm hoping is that after this is all over, you'll see how by taking our honey, you're not only taking away everything we have, but everything we are. (Vanessa smiles and silently claps and the bees in the courtroom are moved by his words. Back at their house, Barry's parents are watching on TV.) Mom: Oh, I wish he would dress like that all the time. So nice... Judge: Call your first witness. Barry: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms. Pretty big company you have there? Vanderhayden: I suppose so. Barry: And I see you also own Honey-Burton, and Honron! Vanderhayden: Yes. They provide beekeepers for our farms. Barry: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term, I have to say. I don't imagine you employ any bee free-ers, do you? Vanderhayden: Uh, n-no. Barry: I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you. Vanderhayden: (louder) No. Barry: No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. And not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey? Vanderhayden: W-well, they're very lovable creatures. Uh, Yogi Bear, Fozzy Bear. Oh! Build-a-Bear? Barry: Yeah, you mean like this?! (Vanessa and a man enter, guiding a giant grizzly bear restrained by a collar with chains atttached to both sides. They bring him in front of Vanderhayden. The bear lunges at him and roars.) Barry: Bears kill bees! How would you like his big hairy head crashing through your living room? Biting into your couch, spitting out your throw-pillows...rowr, rowr! Bear:

Rowr!! Barry: Okay, that's enough. Take him away. (Vincent stops roaring. He and the man depart without incident, leaving Vanderhayden trembling with the Judge glaring at him and Layton angrily growling himself.) (Later, Barry questions another witness.) Barry: So, Mr. Sting. Thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me, I have to say. Where have I heard it before? Sting: I was with a band called "The Police". Barry: But you've never been a police officer of any kind, have you? Sting: Uh, no, I haven't. Barry: No, you haven't. And so, here we have yet another example of bee culture being casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Sting: Oh, please. Barry: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say, Mr. Gordon M. Sumner? The jury gasps Layton: (to his assistants:) That's not his real name? You idiots! (later on, Barry's questioning another witness) Barry: (reading from the base of the statue the witness is holding) Mr. Liotta, first may I offer my belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on E.R. in 2005. Ray Liotta: Thank you. Thank you. (he laughs maniacally) Barry: I also see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome, but with a churning inner turmoil that's always ready to blow. Ray: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Barry: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you, Mr. Liotta? Exploiting tiny helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part, and learn your lines, sir? Ray: Watch it, Benson, I could blow right now! Barry: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Ray: (suddenly upset, he tries to smash Barry with his Emmy statue) Why doesn't someone just step on this little creep and we can all go home? You're all thinking it. Say it! Judge: Order! Order in this courtroom! Order, I say! Mr. Liotta, please sit down! (The reaction from the press is harsh. The headline of the New York Telegram has "Sue Bee", the New York Post reads "Bees to Humans: Buzz Off", and the Daily Variety reports "Studio Dumps Liotta Project. Slams Door on Unlawful Entry 2.") (That evening, in Vanessa's apartment.) Barry: Well, I just think that was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. Vanessa: I'm telling you, I think the jury's on our side. Barry: Are we doing everything right, you know, legally? Vanessa: I'm a florist. Barry: Right, right. (he raises his glass) Well, here's to a great team. Vanessa: To a great team. (both toast and Ken enters the apartment) Ken: Well, hello. Vanessa: Oh... Ken. Barry: Hello. Vanessa: Ah, I didn't think you were coming. Ken: No, I was just late. I tried to call. But, the battery... Vanessa: I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily he was free. Barry: Yeah. Ken: Oh, that was lucky. Vanessa: Well, there's still a little left. I could heat it up. Ken: Yeah, heat it up. Sure, whatever. Barry: So, I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. I find the ball a little grabby. Ken: That's where I usually sit. Right there. Vanessa: (from kitchen) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that "eating with chopsticks" isn't really a special skill. Ken: (to Barry:) You think I don’t see what you’re doin'? Barry: Hey look, I know how hard it is trying to find the right job. We certainly have that in common. Ken: Do we? Barry: Well, bees have 100% employment, of course. But we do jobs like taking the crud out. Ken: That’s just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a knife but pushes it off the table. He bends down to pick it up.) Vanessa: (from kitchen) Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken hits his head on the table as he straightens back up, then presses the apple cider bottle against his temple to soothe it) Barry: I’m going to go drain the ol' stinger. Ken: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies a couple of loops in front of Ken as he heads to the bathroom, causing Ken to shake the bottle and get cider in his eyes. Barry grabs a small section of Variety

Magazine as he goes.) Barry: Huh, look at that. (tears off a small corner off Variety Magazine as he goes in.) (as Barry finishes up and washes his hands, Ken enters carrying a large magazine) Ken: Y-yo, you known, I've just about had it with your little mind games. Barry: What's that? Ken: Italian Vogue. (he curls the magazine tight) Barry: Mamma Mia, that's a lot of pages. Ken: It's a lot of ads. Barry: Remember what Van said. Why is your life any more valuable than mine? Ken: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (He whacks Barry with the magazine. He misses and knocks everything off the vanity. He grabs a can of air freshener.) Ken: I think something stinks in here! (He sprays at Barry) Barry: I love the smell of flowers. Ken: Yeah, How do you like the smell of flames?! (He lights the stream) Barry: Not as much. (Barry screams) Barry flies in a circle. Ken, trying to stay with him, spins in place. There are flames outside the bathroom door. Ken slips on the Italian Vogue, falls backward into the shower, pulling down the shower curtain. The can hits him in the head, followed by the shower curtain rod, and the rubber duck. Ken reaches back, grabs the handheld shower head. He whips around, looking for Barry. There's a water bug near the drain. Water bug: Water bug! Not taking sides! Barry is on the toilet tank. He comes out from behind a shampoo bottle, wearing a chapstick cap as a helmet. Barry: Ken, look at me! I'm wearing a chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken is turning the hand shower nozzle from "GENTLE", to "TURBO", to "LETHAL".) Ken: I've got issues! (Ken fires the water at Barry, knocking him into the toilet. The items from the vanity (emory board, lipstick, eye curler, etc.) are on the toilet seat. Ken looks down at Barry.) Ken: Well, well, well, a royal flush! Barry: You're bluffing. Ken: Am I? Barry: Surf's up, dude! Ken: Poo water! Barry: That bowl is gnarly. Ken: Except for those dirty yellow rings! Vanessa: Kenneth! What are you doing?! Ken: You know what, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! Vanessa: We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Ken: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? Vanessa: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Ken: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Vanessa: Goodbye, Ken. Ken: Augh! Vanessa: Whew. (Ken exits, then re-enters frame) Ken: And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! Vanessa: I'm sorry about all that. Ken: (re-enters again) Ken: I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! Barry: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Vanessa: Are you going to be okay for the trial tomorrow? Barry: Oh, I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. Layton: We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Adam: Now that's a good idea. You can really see why he's considered one of the very best lawyers... Barry: Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Layton: Oh don't worry Mr. Gammil. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Layton: Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? Barry: We're friends. Layton: Good friends? Barry: Yes. Layton: How good? Barry: What. Layton: Do you live together? Barry: Wait a minute this isn’t about... Layton: Are you her little...bedbug? Barry: Hey, that’s not the kind of? I've seen a bee documentary or two. Now from what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children in the hive? Barry: Yeah, but... Layton: So those aren't even your real parents! Dad: Oh, Barry... Barry: Yes, they are! Adam: Hold me back! Layton: You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson?

Adam: He's denouncing bees! Layton: And don't y'all date your cousins? Vanessa: Objection! Adam: I'm going to pincushion this guy! Barry: Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Layton: Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Judge: Order! Order! Please! Layton: The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! Judge: Mr. Montgomery! Layton: I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! Barry: Adam, stay with me. Adam: I can't feel my legs. Bailiff Take it easy. Layton: Oh! What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? Judge: Please I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn - against the bees yesterday when one of their - Thank you! legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. Now here’s Don with the 5-day. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. The important thing is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria they got it from downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was that like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think that was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What do you think the humans will do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Say, could you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. Adam that's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Barry: No, Get up, Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. You get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. You know Bees are trained to fly kind of haphazardly, and as a result, quite often we don't make very good time. I actually once heard a pretty funny story about a bee... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer are we going allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who have all run perfectly legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Barry: Members of the jury, look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to these smoke machines in man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we going to do? - He's playing the species card. Barry: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Barry: Vanessa, we won! Vanessa: Yay! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. Barry: I'm OK! Vanessa, do you know what this means? All the honey is finally going to belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey do you think is out there? All right. All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing?

My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What are you demand as a settlement? First, we're going to demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop.We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, big-headed bad-breath stink machine. I believe We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Can't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting down honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on around here? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - No, they’re just home. They don't know what to do. They're laying out, they're sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Yeah, but sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... And now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. We have so much now. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. Barry:What happened here? Vanessa:That is not the half of it. Barry:Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And who's fault do you think that is? You know, I'm going to guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I guess I didn't think that bees not needing to make honey would affect all these others things. And it's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. Well, that's our whole SAT test right there. So you take away the produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? And I know this is also partly my fault. Barry: How about a suicide pact? Vanessa: How would we do it? Barry: I'll sting you, you step on me. Vanessa: That just kills you twice. Barry: Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I got to get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it up to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just want to say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, and it's all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. and I wanted to help you with your flower shop. Intead, I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. Nonetheless I have another idea, and it's greater than all my previous great ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, here’s what I’m thinking they have

the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we got do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. Vanessa: Bees. Barry: Park. Vanessa: Pollen! Barry: Flowers. Vanessa: Repollination! Barry: Across the nation! Barry: Alright Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. That a's nice brooch by the way. Thank you. It was a gift. Then once we're inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? Yeah! I could be the princess, and ...yes, I think You could be I’ve- The pea! Yes, I got it. - Sorry I'm late Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It’s supposed to be under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m going to go talk to the marshall. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby will do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. And once we’re at the airport there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - Did you and your insect pack your own float? - Yes. Has this float been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes and everything in your pockets?? - Can you remove your stinger. Sir? - That's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is going to work Vanessa. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. I'm afraid we have a bit of bad weather in the New York area. And looks like we're going to be experience a couple of hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I've got to get up there and talk to these guys. Be careful. Hey, can I get some help with this Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Excuse me, Captain, I'm in a real situation here. - What did you say, Hal? - I didn’t say anything Bee! No, no! Don't freak out! There's a chance my entire species... What are you doing? Stop! - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain speaking. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? I tried to talk to them, but then there was a Dustbuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Is there anyone onboard who has flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait a minute, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a very suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh off his stunning legal victory... That's Barry! ...is now attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! Well, we have an electrical storm in the area, and two individuals at the controls of a jumbo jet with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute Mr Ditchwater. There's a honey bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson's work and his no-account compadres. Haven't they done enough damage already. But isn't he your only hope right now? Come on, technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. The wings are too small their bodies are too big... Hey, hold on a second.

Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass doesn't make sense." - Get this on the air! - You got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. Mr Ditchwater, the way we work may be a mystery to you. Because making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you something about a small job. If you do it really well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to doing what we do best working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow.Black and yellow! - All:Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. You know what, This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait a minute, I think we were on autopilot that whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! Well, then it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I would do, and you copy me with the wings of the plane! You don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We happen to be in a lot of trouble here. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I don’t think I can do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. Listen to me You have got to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! You snap - Hold it! - Why? Come on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Hey Benson, have you got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. Alright you two, what do you say we drop this tin can on the blacktop? What blacktop? Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Adam: Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. But it's strong, and it's pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose of the plane down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready boys? Give me full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other flower! - Which flower? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant black and yellow flower pulsating made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Bring your tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This is the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid of it. Smell it. Full reverse! Easy just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Come on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius man! Genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Barry: Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're going to survive as a species, this is our moment! So, what do you say? Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? Bees: We're bees! Male bee: Keychain! Barry: Then everyone, follow me! Except Keychain. Pollen Jock: Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. (places a pollen jock jacket on Barry and the 3 pollen jocks cheer while Vanessa gives him a thumbs up) Vanessa: Yay! Barry: I'm a

Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I got to do are the sleeves. (The pollen jocks toss Barry a nectar pack) Barry: Oh, yeah. Mom: (proudly) That's our Barry! (Martin nods proudly in agreement) Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Yes, can I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate here will be able to help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order for a wedding, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. Vanessa:You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? Who's next? Barry: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Vanessa: Thank you, Barry! Ken: (Sees a sign that says "Vanessa and Barry: Flowers, Honey, Legal Advice" and becomes disgusted) Ken: Ugh! That bee is living my life! Andy: (guiding Ken protectively) Let it go, Kenny. Ken: When will this nightmare end?! Andy: Let it all go. Barry: Beautiful day to fly. Pollen Jock: Sure is. Barry: Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. Adam: You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! Barry: Me? Adam: Thinking bee, thinking bee! Get smart and start thinking bee! Barry: Gee! Adam: Flying here and buzzin' there. Barry: I'm lovin' the views. Adam: Listen to me cousin, every buzzer must use to be a bee! Barry: Or not to be. Adam: Start thinking bee! Adam: Barry, you got no occupation. Barry: What, you mean like pollination? Adam: Hey now! That's thinking bee! Barry: Start thinking bee! Adam: Listen to me fella, ain't you been on a tour? Can't cha' stripes of Black and yella. Barry: I just want to be sure! Adam: To be a bee! Barry: Start thinking bee! Can't I wait and see? Adam: No, Barry that's not to be! Be a busy little bee not a tizzy little bee! Barry: Alright, hold it, hold it, hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. (Adam: What it's like to be a thinking!) Barry: I'm sorry. Adam: What? Barry: I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? Adam: Oh, Barry. Barry: I'm not making a major life decision in the middle of a huge musical production number! Adam: Alright, alright. Barry: Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

Omg

[dangan-happy]

[HARK! That sounds like an ask that has just come in!] To anyone (except Tenko, sorry).

I started working recently, and it's been... Harsh. I spent almost all of my childhood wishing I was an adult so I could finally take control of my life, but now that I'm 18 going on 19, I've realized that being older didn't make anything any better. Actually, all I can think as of lately is that I'm tired of everything- tired of college (I didn't want to enroll, my parents forced me), tired of work (because my back hurts and my head feels numb after hours of doing the same thing), tired of living.

I don't want to die, not really, I just... Wish I could have some hope for the future. Hope that things will get better and that some day I'll finally, finally feel like all this pain was worth it, but I don't think that time is ever going to come. Not even having a salary makes me happy, because I'm so unmotivated I can't even think of anything to spend it on. I feel nothing but despair, and I've felt this way for years. Maybe I'm just too far gone at this point... Sorry for venting.

Don’t be sorry for venting, anon! Venting is always good for you, especially since it’s way better than bottling it all up. I’m so glad you felt safe and comfortable enough coming here and venting about all of this. Hearing about all of this breaks my magical miracle girl heart, and that’s not sarcasm at all! And hearing that... w-wait a minute, y-you said that feel nothing but despair? A-And that you’ve felt this despair for years now?! Waahhhhh, oh nooooo, this is not good; not good at all! Call me a drama rabbit, but hearing this truly makes tears form in my beady, black eyes; this has got to be one of the biggest no-nos I’ve ever witnessed in all my years of teaching!

M-My wonderful, hardworking student, please take a seat. This calls for a moment of Magical Miracle Girl ★ Monomi’s Comforting Support & Advice 101. Tee-hee, I named that all by myself. Pretty neat title, huh? Anyway, enough about that, for I’m here to help you with this despair. Having taught tons of high school students, as well as encountering a bunch of adults and even some recent high school graduates, I can understand where you’re coming from. Just entering adulthood is sadly no triple chocolate cakewalk, whether you once wanted to become an adult at first or not. It’s quite unfair that your parents forced you to enroll into college, as that’s something you should decide on! I don’t know what you specifically do for work, but it really does sound exhausting and maybe even a bit repetitive, too. A-As for being tired of living... I-I can understand that. I can understand the despairful wonders on if all of this hard work will even be worth it at all; if it’ll even be worth it at all; what the point even is for and to do certain things, such as education and work. All of that just piles on and on, and that weight begins to really weigh you down. Sniff, I-I’m sorry. Just seeing you struggle with this much despair really is making me tear up here; I just can’t stand to see one of my wonderful students go through such terrible despair. I-I’m such an emotional teacher, I know...

Ah, but I must wipe these tears away for the meantime, and show you the truth. To quote a few of my students: “I’ll cut through your words!” Right now, it may be hard to see the light at the end of this dark tunnel full of despair; it may be hard to see if any of this will even be worth it in the end or at all. I can understand why you feel that way, but I must stress for you to not give up, no matter what! It may not seem or feel like it now, but this is simply a rough patch in your life, and like other previous rough patches you’ve most likely experienced and gone through, you will get through this! All of this hard work; all of the hard work you do in college and at work; all of it will prove to be useful and will prove to be one-thousand percent worth it in the end. And you are not ‘too far gone at this point’. To once again quote those same few students: “No, that’s wrong!” You are never ‘far too gone’; you’re just experiencing a whole lot of stress and emotional distress at this time, that’s all. I have full hope that you will get through this; that you will be able to power through and fight back against this despair; that you will be able to see the light at the end of this tunnel and keeping using hope as a motivator. I promise you and my entire magical carrot garden, all of this will be worth it! Sadly, while I may be a magical girl, I can’t give you any specifics on when things will start to improve. I do have a student who’s really good with predictions and even has his own crystal ball though! If you want, I could ask him to help you out. Ah, but right now, he’s busy finishing up that late homework assignment of his, so for now, I’ll use my magic stick to shine some shining hope onto you! And I’ll add onto that hope by giving you the hope from my heart!

To be honest, I would suggest looking into seeing a counselor or overall professional to talk to about all of this. Look around in your area, and find one that fits your wants and needs, and in your case, works with your schedule. In fact, you might be able to get some help finding one through your school! It doesn’t hurt to try. Of course, just the thought of counseling or therapy can be scary, so if you’re not exactly ready for that, then don’t worry, I understand. But I would still highly suggest finding a proper, healthy way to vent. Try venting to someone you trust, like a significant other, a best friend, a parent or legal guardian, a family member, or even a school counselor, if your school has one! And if you’re just not ready to talk to someone at all just yet, then try journaling! Get yourself a cute or cool-looking notebook, pick your choice of pen or pencil, and write down your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, anything and everything you want to get out and jot down. And the best part is: Only you will look at it, write in it, and have access to it! You can even decorate it with stickers and washi tape, if you want to, tee-hee. Suggestions to venting and getting some of that despair out aside, as your teacher, I am assigning you a homework assignment. Don’t worry, there’s no deadline, and you won’t fail my class or receive a grade or anything like that, I promise! With that being said, your homework assignment is... to treat yourself. Now now, I read the part where you said that you’re so unmotivated that you just don’t know what to buy and everything, but with all of this despair you’re fighting against, and with all of the hard work you’re doing, I think-- no, I know that you deserve a reward. Buy yourself a few of your favorite snacks or drinks; buy yourself a new comic book or novel; buy yourself a adorable Squishmallow and name it Sir Fluffypants! They always come with names on their tags, but it’s funnier and better to name stuffed animals yourself, don’t you think? But seriously, for your sake and your sake alone, pat yourself on the back and reward yourself for being so strong and hardworking, okay?

This officially concludes a moment of Magical Miracle Girl ★ Monomi’s Comforting Support & Advice 101. I sincerely hope that some of this reassures you and helps you out in some way or another. Before you go, let me give you a gold star sticker and a nice, warm, super duper soft hug. You’re going through a lot right now, and you’re not only working hard, but fighting hard; you’re fighting against despair, after all. So please, feel free to hug out some of that stress and pent-up despair. Now, keep doing your very best! Don’t lose to yourself! And don’t forget to save frequently!

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #monomi #mod hajime

[fnafslinky]

Fazbear Frights 1-9 review.

Into The Pit:

Slow and meandering during the first half but picks up speed after Spring Bonnie shows up. Good message and good idea, but the execution could be better. 6/10

To Be Beautiful:

This story is so full of fluff, you can cut out like 60% of it and lose nothing. I know it's going for a fairy tale thing with the repetition and all, but fairy tales do that because it's made for children. Repetition is to train a child's brain to remember better. These books are aimed at teenagers, so this narrative device is not needed. On top of that, it has unfortunate implications of "Not like other girls" memes that we don't need to revisit. Only saved by its creepy af ending. 3/10

Count The Ways:

Legitimately my favorite story out of FNAF and one of my favorites of all time. It fixed the previous story's Not Like Other Girls problems by having the goth main character hate the pretty blonde and being called out for not even knowing her and being shallow. It is actually surprising to have these two stories be back to back.

The narrative device of switching back and forth between the MC facing her death and how she got up to that point means it keeps your interest throughout that the previous two stories had problems with. It makes for great drama and tension.

The main reason I love this story in particular is because of this exchange near the end:

“Silly Millie, for someone who doesn’t want to die you sure spent a lot of time talking about it,” the voice surrounding her said. “But that’s the way of things, isn’t it? Talk is always easier than action.”

“I think,” Millie said, sniffling, “that when I said I wanted to die, what I really wanted was to escape. I didn’t want death. I just wanted my life to be different.”

“Oh, but that really takes action, doesn’t it?”

And, if I can be real for a minute: I feel like that kinda changed my life. Or very least, my point of view.

As someone who has made attempts on his life before and frequently battles depression- It made my problems so much less overwhelming. Of course I didn't want to die. I wanted my life my life to improve. And now whenever the thought of suicide passes through my head, I just remember this phrase and it helps me keep it together and calm down.

And also F.Freddy's follow up with having to work for happiness is spot on too. Misery is comfortable, that's why so many people prefer it. Happiness takes effort. 10/10

Fetch:

I'm in the minority for not caring for this one. I felt like there wasn't any direction or character arc, I didn't find Fetch particularly scary or interesting, and the MC makes a lot of dumb decisions in it.

That being said, I love how it jumps right into the action instead of taking awhile to get to it like the other stories did. The stories tend to play out like a different book and then FNAF characters are slapped in at the end. This one gets right to it and makes it integral to its plot. 6/10

Lonely Freddy:

Another one I really love. The Frights series has a good traction with its tragedies and this one is no exception. I really connected with the feeling of being pitted against your siblings, usually by accident and circumstance with your parents. Particularly this line:

“Maybe you’ve made them what they are,” Aunt Gigi said, pausing for a moment before adding: “Hazel’s the easy one. Alec is the hard one. It’s like you put them on their own little islands.”

I wasn't Alec, but Hazel in this situation. And it made me realize what my sibling went through because of it.

And this is another story where Freddy's is more integral to the plot too, and one of the few times it's not already abandoned.

I really like how well done Alec's back and forth he had with himself whether to befriend his sister or not. It's a believable character arc when he realizes his mistake at the end unlike another story that we'll get to.

And the fact they made a God damn teddy bear legitimately creepy is a mastery of horror writing that I can only ever hope to strive for. Definitely the scariest in Frights 2. 9/10

Out Of Stock:

I agree with Dawko that this one feels best to make a 30 minute special out of. It feels like a Halloween special or creepypasta you would watch/read as a preteen. Old enough to want to explore more mature stuff, but young enough to still have more cartoony stuff be familiar. And I mean that as 100% a positive.

I also like how this one is a bit more comedy based. Like the scene where the MC gets thrown across the room after electrocuting himself and his friends dont even notice. I can picture that bit so clearly.

The climax is the best part of having a dire game of Red Light, Green Light with the Plushtrap Chaser. It's very energized and exciting that the other stories don't have as often because the subject matter doesn't lend itself to it.

The trend in these stories of kids learning to appreciate their parents, and they're parents realizing they have to sacrifice some stuff to make their child happy is very sweet. And it's no different here. 8/10

1:35 AM

What I like about this series is that you never know where its gonna go from story to story. I though for certain this story was about how the doll was gonna have an evil spirit possessing it.

But no, what actually happened is that it's never made clear if the MC is losing her mind, being haunted, or just seeing stuff because she's sleep deprived. That ambiguity makes the book a lot creepier and sadder because you don't know how this poor woman should be helped. And it ends without any clarification. That's great and a perfect idea for horror story.

That being said, Scott's writing quirks (and it's definitely Scott doing it, I can tell) of front loading info, constantly stopping the flow to have backstory and over explaining things that don't need makes it frustrating to read after several books of it. And we're not done with that either. 9/10

Room For One More:

I skipped over all the dream sequences because it adds nothing to the story. Its great you remember Sister Location, but it feels like you don't trust your audience to read a FNAF story if there isn't animatronics every couple pages. And honestly? Understandable.

I do know based on my own FNAF comic, pages featuring humans is a lot less popular than the ones featuring animatronics. And I get it, you're a bunch of furries it's more interesting to visualize. And you can go in the opposite direction and have very little FNAF stuff when they're needs to be more. The New Kid doesn't even bring it up til the last third.

But I digress. The strongest qualities in Room For One More is three points.

The location is very vividly described. The underground security office with steel walls, the radiation disposals, the musky scent. It paints a clear and unique picture.

The main character's fallen arc of self care and distrust of others is a well done cautionary tale. It goes hand in hand with the speech before of having to work for happiness, and the difficulties there are from even trying. But you still need to do it.

The body horror is not as visually disgusting as it could've been, and more conceptually horrifying. But if you have a fear of bugs in your skin or crawling in your mouth, prepare for something so much worse! And no, that's not a spoiler, it's pretty obvious where its going from the beginning. 7/10

The New Kid:

This one was disappointing. This is not the way to do a tragedy, because I don't care about the MC.

Throughout the entire story, the main character has literal sociopath tendencies. He is controlling of other people, he doesn't have any empathy, he sees other people as tools to use, he kills a bird and doesn't care- So at the end when he accidentally kills someone, I don't believe him feeling bad about it. And I sure as shit don't care about his death after him leaving his victim to die, while he was still breathing, and not coming back for a week.

Also the twist at the end makes no God damn sense and I'm not even gonna dignify it.

A better tragedy would've been his friend, Mick, getting into trouble for the murder after refusing to ever stand up to the MC. Or even the MC being betrayed by him last minute for him to learn how his shit behavior really screwed him over. But the end result ended up being an unsatisfying mess. 2/10

I'll review the 4th's books with 5 and 6, since I'm sticking with a three at a time theme and because I haven't read 4 yet.

#fnaf #fazbear frights #fnaf books

[gildedmuse]

And now, the even cuter sequel to...

Top Ten Cutest Kids In One Piece

Part II | Part I

7. Nami

Nami has a bit of an unfair advantage in that we see her through our her cute growth. I mean look at this. She a cute baby:

[Before you can fully laugh in the face of death you must first learn to smile at it. Smile and lure death in by pretending to be it's friend.]

She a cute kiddie:

[Pictured: Nami, right before her One Piece required tragic backstory kicks in.]

She even somehow a cute kid as a fully grown adult:

I mean, look at her pigtails! That's right, sweetie, one day you'll grow up to be a big, strong navigator!

Although, I have to say that part of what makes actual kid Nami so adorable is her precious little smile. For some unknowable reason (Arlong, having her mother killed in front of her, carrying the stress of her entire town's welfare on her shoulders before the age of ten, growing up way too soon, finding herself stranded in a rowboat with a smile ball of sunshine idiot and a frowny faced SWORD idiot) Nami doesn't seem to smile so much anymore (being one of the only rational people on a ship full of suicidal stupid children or perverts, constantly being placed in peril by said children, being one of the few people on the ship with an actual responsible that if she s fails at means they could easily all wind up dead... Really, it's a complete mystery). Certainly,it doesn't have that same quality of innocence and unrestrained joy.

Basically, Nami has a Luffy smile as a kid and she totally rocks it.

6. Baby 5 & Derringer

This is a baby Baby 5 babying a baby Derringer.

I mean, honestly? What else do you need?

5. Killer "Murder Machine" Killer

[I just want to say how hard it is finding pictures of Killer as a kid. We hat do you search? "Killer Child"? "Kid Killer"? "One Piece Killer Kid"? Also, sadly, "One Piece Killer as Kid" does not return a bunch of pictures of Killer and Kid clothing swaps. You disappoint me, internet.]

Okay, so I only learned about this cutie after I decided to make this list and let me say - HOW FUCKING CUTE IS THIS MURDER CRAZED LITTLE PIRATE ANGEL!? He is SO cute. Look at his fluffy blonde hair! Ah, I'll bet he was such a sensative little gentlemen, too, you know? Everything about him says, "I will call you ma'am, share all my toys, and def cry every time Bambi's mother dies even though I've seen it like THIS many times."

I'll bet Kid (who gets second place shouts outs for also being a adorable little tyke but has slightly less pinchable cheeks than my boy here) got him in sooo much trouble. Can't you just imagine baby Killer following Kid around on the playground.

"But Kid, we're not suppose to... The adults said so."

"Come on, Killer, it'll be so much fun."

"Mmm.. I don't know... it sounds dangerous (and scary)."

"Killer, don't you want to be my first mate when I become pirate king?"

"Of course, Kid! More than anything!"

"Well, pirates don't go around listening to adults or not doing something just because it's scary, do they?"

".... No, I guess not. No, they won't be very good pirates if they did."

"And you and me, we're going to be the best pirates EVER, aren't we?"

*Nods Eagerly*

"Well then....?"

"... Okay, but just this ONE time, okay Kid? Than can we please go make sand castles like I wanted to?"

"Yep! Right after, we'll make awesome pirate sandcastles! I promise!"

And that is how so many fires got started.

[I have no reason for posting this except I just love it so much.]

Worst generation? More like cutest generation amiright?

4. Donquixote Rosinante (Corazon)

Maybe I should have combined this one with Killer. They have a lot of the same things going for them. They're rocking the same fluffy blonde hair, they both have cheeks you want to kiss and pinch at the same time, and, yeah, of course Rosinante cried whenever Bambi's mother died. Though, to be fair, that wasn't just when he was a kid.

He definitely had to leave the room during that part when Law, Baby 5 an Derringer were watching it (for the record: Baby 5 would bite her lip and tried to act unaffected, Derringer would laugh and then start pouting about the lack of blood, while Law... Law would just stared down the TV while thinking on the inevitability of death and how it eventually comes for all living things.)

Also like Killer, the soft and adorable Corazon has a much more badass (but in a cute way) bestie/brother who should have maybe made the list of they didn't insist on standing so close to someone else who is just So. Fucking. Cute.

[Though Doffy tots rocks those sweetass sunglasses.]

The one thing really seperating them, besides the incredibly different circumstances of their births placing them in opposite economic and social spheres entirely at random is this Straight Outta Mariejois top hair curl.

Ack, this kid is just too fucking cute.

And yet still not top three level of cuteness.

So who do you think the final cute? Who are the top three cutest little babies in the world of One Piece? Stick around for that, runners up, and.... I don't wanna say a Loser List but, yeah, that.

#one piece #top ten #cutest one piece babies #cute smile #one piece killer #nami #luffy smile #corazon #donquixote rocinante #donquixote brothers #donquixote doflamingo #donquixote corazon #eustass kid #the worst generation #worst generation #more like cutest generation #baby 5 #baby baby 5 #one piece Derringer #cutie pies

[oh-roman]

It's You

 read part five

part VI.

"I hate you," Bill's wife cries, trying to escape Bill’s tickling fingers.

"Mmhm, sure you do," Bill beckoned, watching a smile pull at her lips, before leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. "Atta' girl," He huffs. "Give daddy some sugar," Except she only playfully rolls her eyes and sits up on the bed to pull her laptop onto her thighs.

Bill and Jade were high school sweethearts --and to their knowledge, they'd followed the perfect life plan.

Try not to get teary-eyed; their story's so cute it might make you sad how it ends.

So, it was all so unintentional how they fell in love, because well, Jade was never the type of girl Bill was interesting in, in high school.

He was quite picky about his girls (and still is).

Bill liked them confident, but not too cocky. He had a thing for plaid mini skirts and thigh highs, a fetish for lip gloss and those fishnet stockings the girls wore. Open toed shoes were cute, but only the kind that had a heel and straps. And God, did he love girls with brown eyes - - - the big doe eyes that made your heart swell.

Except Jade wasn't that profile at all. And for some odd reason, it attracted him to her even more. So, one day, mid-sophomore year in History, Bill sits down next to this girl--dressed like someone’s mom--and says. . .well he doesn't say anything. He just stares at her until she waves her hand in front of his face. She made him unbearably nervous and that's the moment, he knew he'd have to stick with her. Thank God for his persistent personality too, because he popped the question just a few questions after they’d graduated high school.

It was quite beautiful actually. They were young and crazy about one another, but young love only does so much. It’s an innocent flame and well, it only flickers for so long. It’s naive and overpoweringly emotional, so when Bill began to fall out of love with her, he didn’t say anything, in hopes of that burning fire coming back.

Although, it never really did and falling for Y/N wasn't much help.

The last thing he wanted to do was hurt his wife, although he couldn't stand the thought of breaking Y/N’s heart either. The more he loved, the more it hurt.

“Baby I've been meaning to ask you," Jade asks.

"Hm," he hums, running a hand through his hair. "What's that,"

"How's it been going with that girl Y/N," And he pauses. Speak of the fucking devil. He swallows thickly and tries to find some sort of composure. He sits up a bit and thumbs over his own bottom lip; a bad habit he has when he's uncomfortable. "Oh, y'know--it's been great--she's. . .smart," Nodding along with him, Jade raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t think much of it.

“That’s good,” She says, moving her laptop out of the way and lying her head on Bill’s bare chest. “Now, c'mere," Resting a hand on his thigh, she taps her fingers a little, gesturing for him to cuddle her.

Bill huffs a little and kisses her forehead. Jade smiles at the feeling. And you can't blame her. The feeling is indescribable--her head against his chest, feeling the steady vibration of his heartbeat, moving in-beat with his fingertips lazily running up her arm. With the dim light peeking through the window drapes, it's wonderful. So good, sometimes she can't see herself ever lying on these sheets without her. "Love you," she exhales, lazily closing her eyes.

He just wishes he felt the same way.

And Jade, she wishes he felt that way too.

He hasn't kissed her lips (and I mean really kissed her) in weeks now, unless the neighbors are watching.

And she just stays quiet, like she always is. She's a romantic and well, it comes with its own heartache, because she sees when he's smiling at phone, or blushing when he's getting all ready for work in the morning and she can't help but wonder why he's wearing his good cuff links (the Gucci ones he wore to his wedding) to go teach a bunch of college students about business management. Or, why he's all of a sudden taken such keen interest in the random girl next door. Or, last week when Jade was taking the trash out, she watched the same girl in his car, leaning awfully close to him.

No.

Jade's cried enough about it. Plus, Bill's a messy eater. Y/N was probably just picking a piece of lettuce of of his shirt (or chin?). Surely that's why. Well, it's the only logical explanation she thinks.

"Not with the girl next door. . .If he ever were to. . .she'd be older," Jade thinks. "Right?"

It's all a pressing matter and Jade has to push those thoughts out if her brain, for the sake of her marriage--or whatever remains from it.

Pressing a longing kiss right under eye, Bill closes his eyes too. He's never been big on religion, but he's praying now. For some sort of revelation; some sort of direction on what he should do.

And he lies there for what feels like forever, contemplating everything. Just as a Jade is, before drifting off to sleep.

Then, Bill understands.

It's scary almost how fast he's realized it and for a moment he snaps his eyes open and blinks a few times. Jade's snoring a little on his chest, arm draped around his stomach.

She's the one. She has to be.

He's careful when he moves her arm out of the way, quietly stepping off toward their bathroom. He's watching Jade from the doorway, slightly moving around a little, probably wondering where his body's gone. It's precious actually. That's why he has to do this--and fast. So, he doesn't hurt anyone too badly.

The light from a Bill's phone lights up a little and he's typing away--deleting and rephrasing almost everything, afraid of what she'll think. Y/N always has him feeling like a teenager. Adrenaline pumping and hand sweating. He's staring at the words on the screen, thinking of everything she could possibly think before finally fuck it pressing send.

He stuffs his phone in the pockets of sweatpants and runs both hands down his face in a tired way, before gripping the bathroom counter and starring himself in the mirror. "Christ," he thinks. "She's gonna kill me,"

"Billy," Jade cries out and his head whips toward their bedroom. Her arm's falling off the mattress. "Come back to bed baby," And he takes one last look at himself before sighing and flicking the light switch off. "I'm comin' sweetheart,"

The story never ends though. Unfortunately, some things just don't work out. Divorce is tricky. Bill's parents are still married. Fifty years going strong and well, a broken family was never what he sought out for himself. So, he makes sure to hold Jade extra close now, breathing in the scent of her vanilla soap on her skin. "Bunny," he whispers.

Her eyes flutter open and she looks up at him with a hint of desperation. "I'm sorry," is all he says and she immediately understands what he's referring to. "I love you too,"

Running his tongue across his bottom lip, Bill, holds her chin, moving it up a little, before caressing her lips with his. "Now," he says, swiping his thumb across the smile on her lips. "Get some sleep,"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Monday blues are a myth, Y/N thinks.

Because she feels absolutely great.

Class isn't until 11:30am, but she's applying a face masque at 8am, just cause. Some song by LANY is playing through her speaker and she's swaying her hips a little. Craziest thing is, she didn't even wake up this early with an alarm. Her phone died some time before she went to bed, so now she's just waiting for it charge some.

Her body just decided to wake up at the crack of dawn she guesses. Although, her dream was pretty eventful to say the least.

She remembers being in a car. A really old fashion 50's model (maybe a Cadillac) and in the dream she's wearing cat-eye glasses and a silk Chanel scarf around her neck, the tail blowing the wind. And she's in the passenger seat because, Bill's doing all the driving and he's dressed like a proper James Bond.

You know when the dream was so good, your brain won't let you forget it? Well, he kisses her right before she wakes up and somehow, she still feels his lips on her's.

Her thoughts are interrupted by her phone vibrating and she nearly leaps up and down like a child when she sees a message from Bill.

Except. . .

Wha-

Oh my god.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tagged

@the-lonelyon3 @tinygayfungi @loveforbillskasgard @glxtter-dew @bringmebandimagines @shipping-not-sailing @lmayre17 @bill-istvan @skaryboybill @deathbyarabbit @pennywise-trashcan @guess-what-i-dont-know @skarswhat @hrhduchessofclarence

#bill skarsgard smut #bill skarsgard #comment! #AHHHHH #its you

[childofsolace-write-ups]

Arc 01: REUNION

::CODY::

I place an arrow to my bowstring and send it flying. I got the animal right on its head. I beam in pride. With Meeko hunting everything in sight, I was happy to take one down on my own. Even if I was just on a blind waiting for game to pass by. I climbed down the tree I was perched on and picked up the dead, fallen raccoon. I went over to the red head sitting on a tree stump.

"Lori, Lori! I got a raccoon!"

Lori smiles at me in a way that seems like I got something better. He's always encouraging like that. "Good job, Code." he ruffles my hair. "and you got it at the head, that's a good shot." He takes it from me and put it and places it inside a burlap sack along with a few of Meeko's other kills.

Lori scrunches up his nose though when he did that. The smile earlier was just for me. He eats meat like the rest of us but he never really liked killing the creatures himself, and mentioned something about how he used to be something called a 'Vegan' or something. I didn't understand it before, but he told me it was something like empathy... I don't really know what that means either, Lori only told me it was like knowing how the animals feel. He said it was the same way we didn't like it when we were attack by Rabids and how these animals must have not wanted to be attacked by us. It was confusing because while we all know Rabids are bad, Lori tells me that it didn't mean we were bad for needing to eat them to survive and something about survival of the fittest, uh, that meant the instinct that drives us to eat any animals we could. It's confusing. But I get it a little bit and also try to kill them instantly so they wouldn't fill pain before they died. Lori understood that it couldn't be helped, we needed meat for food. While we never ran out of food because Kytes did have gardens, it wouldn't be filling. And I don't like veggies much either. So if I only had to eat that forever, I'd go rabid.

I watch Lori take his knife and pull out an apple. He starts to cut it in half so we can share. I stare at his face and start playing this mind game I think to myself, pretending Lorri was his brother and giving him stuff he might say instead. Right now, Lori might say Here, let's share it. While Meeko might say Hehe, wanna see who eats his share the fastest? And he'd give me the slightly bigger share. He would pretend its so he can win, but he would really want me to accept the bigger half without me feeling guilty. I pretend I don't know that because I really like apples. I stop feeling guilty when Corrin explain to me that it's a way of showing how you care.

Whenever I play this game, it makes me realize how identical Lori and Meeko actually are. It was hard to remember that, since whenever you hear them and see how they act, the differences were more obvious that people easily forget the similarities, like the same red hair and the same yellow eyes. Though their hair styles were giveaways too, since Meeko's was usually tousled and sticking out while Lori was much more clean looking, the ends near his neck curving slightly, though their attitudes were more of stand outs so them looking alike wasn't really obvious.

"Here, let's share it Code." Lori gives me my half. "this one's yours."

Nailed it, I smile proudly to myself. "Thanks, Lori!"

"Anytime," Lori chuckles, ruffling my hair.

I liked that feeling a lot, it really helps me relax. Still, no matter how relax we might feel at the moment, our instincts were always sharp, Lori's more so than mine since he's older. He was the one who carried me and got us out of the way just in time as Meeko bursts through some bushes, riding on top of a Rabid Sheep.

An actual sheep is actually not so scary, they're real fluffy and cute, sometimes a little stupid. I was watching over our flocks, the ones we take care of for clothes, with Jonah when a rabid wolf tried to eat one lamb. While Jonah fought back as I watched the flock, I can say I was more rattled than they were. They kept eating grass the entire time!

As for any animal's brain internally affected by radiation, they go Rabid. Unlike people, they don't die instantly though. Well, most don't anyway. Any Rabid creature is potentially bad, even a Rabid Squirrel or Mouse since they usually attack in numbers. On the safe side, we don't eat them. It's easy to tell the difference of a Normal and a Rabid. The Normal types are... Well, normal. While the Rabids are colossal, scary, sometimes deformed and really smart.

But leave it to Meeko to make it look fun to take them on.

"Woo-hoo! I got you now you giant cream puff!" Meeko laugh. "Loreal, Coco Bean, clear the way!"

Meeko duplicates himself. The clone went in front of the sheep. It's kinda funny that was his power when he already has an official look alike, except his actual clone acts way different than he does. The sheep got confused long enough for Meeko to jump down, landing on his feet safely. Then, he took out his double-edged saber, pulling it back like one would with a baseball bat and—

Well, Lori closes my eyes before I can see more. Meeko is pretty brutal when he hunts, and he's got a lot of bravery. I hope I can be as courageous someday like these two, and that's one of their common traits. I really look up to them a lot and I really like them, but I guess that doesn't really say a lot since I like everyone. Trey used to tell me that I would only hate an enemy. So far, I never had a chance to see if that were true.

"Okay, you can look now." Lori pulls his hand back.

I run towards Meeko, "That was awesome! Well... I didn't see all of it, but I bet it was awesome!"

"You know it, Coco Bean!" He ruffles my hair. Lori approaches us and I tell Meeko about my own raccoon. He congratulates me, saying if I keep that up, I could hunt just as hardcore as him.

"Woah, now let me stop you right there." The other Meeko interrupted—and I mean Lori, not a clone. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves or even hope that. I think one hardcore hunter is enough, and sometimes one too many... And I mean that almost literally." He smirks. He crossed his arms and look down at the dead sheep with a grimace. "now that you had your fun, please tell me you at least remembered to hunt actual game we can take home and eat. I'll admit, that sheep is larger than three of us put together even if it were a Normal."

I kick it a bit. "If there were Normals that size. I don't think we can even get a thing that big through the hotel doors."

I guess I should explain the hotel bit.

That's our home base right now. It's not a permanent settlement, though. We have a whole bunch of base because we can't stay in them for more than four months and a half. Actually, the a half part is the longest we can last in any base. Things change around an awful lot where we live. I don't know if it's the same with the rest of the world because we can't travel all over it, and Rhys only has guess that it might not be as bad as ours. And he knows most things. Rhys called our part of the surface, our division, Surface R. In other words, SURFACE RADIOACTIVE. He told me about the radiation triggered something in the atmosphere, something called Mana, in a time before I was even born. He said when something from outer space came crashing down and changed everything, it landed in our division, back then called a country, so the Mutated Mana altered people like us; have spread most around here to the point that it gave us unique abilities. I don't know why it's called unique when everyone up here pretty much has it, but Rhys said it wasn't normal to have these abilities in the time before I was born.

I don't get much with the rest of his explanation, but I do understand that the past must be really different from now. I also know that we are in a location where things always change. It can be perfectly safe one minute then suddenly everything's chaotic a second later. Also, the other things that got loose Mana energy doesn't like us much. So when one area gets too dangerous, we move to another. They never stay dangerous forever, so we can come back later. That's what scouts are for, they visit the bases ahead of time and check which is the safest to move into. Right now, the hotel is perfectly safe. But since things always change... Well, you'll never know when danger will strike. I don't remember if there was a time that we were without risk of being in danger. Because even at night, while we're sleeping, if the sentries sound the alarm, we have to prepare for action. That's why we've gotten used to trusting and relying on each other.

It keeps us all alive.

Meeko waves off Lori's words. "Yeah, did that first." he gives me another burlap sack, and I tip over because of the weight. "Easy kills."

"What do you have in here?" Lori picks up my arrows and places them back inside the quiver before helping me with the sack.

Meeko shrugs. "The usual. Three foxes, five rabbits, some squirrels. A turkey and half a boar for bacon." We stare at him for a full second. "I had to give up the other half so it could fit the bag since this big guy suddenly attacked."

"Wow," Lori whistles, impressed but not all that surprise. This was his brother after all. "that's a new record. Good hunting."

Meeko scowls. "Good? That's excellent hunting!"

"Except you only got a half animal for bacon. Plus, your ego needs deflating." Lori laughs. "Well, it's a Rabid, but since it's a sheep, we can't let the wool go to waste. It's sturdier than a Normal's wool, after all." He takes his knife and approaches the lifeless sheep, getting to work.

We help him out so we can finish faster and head back. Halfway through, though, I hear leaves rustling, feeling a chill down my spine, and then the thumping vibration from the ground.

Lori must've felt it too. "Cody, Meeko, take a flank!"

I take up Lori's left side, notching an arrow and Meeko takes his right, raising his sword. Then other three rabid sheep come bursting into the glade. I send the arrow flying but it didn't get the eye. Not that it'd be an instant kill, but I could've at least partially blind it. Rabids aren't easily taken down like regulars. What Meeko did earlier might've been an extreme. They weren't as big and colossal as the one he took down but still, about seven feet tall and who-knows-wide doesn't fall under small either.

"Uh oh. I think the one I killed was a mommy..."

I look at him. "Oh. But Meeko, I don't think she could tell her kids not to eat us. She'd probably help them."

Meeko gives me a weird look. "Er, that really wasn't my point..." he says.

A sheep charges towards us. We spread out. But I stumble on my feet.

"Cody! Look out!"

I look up, barely able to shoot my arrow right on the sheep's eye. Thankfully, my arrow had already been placed and it was close enough for me to get a good, clear shot. But I'm unable to get a next arrow ready when the sheep jumps over head.

"Cody!" Meeko swoops by and carries me out of the way.

I hug him around the neck. "Thank you, Meeko! That was scary!"

"Meeko," Lori comes over. "three on three isn't a fair fight if it's against Rabids. That's your cue!"

Meeko looks a little embarrassed. "Ehe, about that..." he holds up his watch. "I might've overdone it a bit earlier during the hunt and my POWER GAUGE is on full bars..." suddenly, his watch sparks and the green-lit screen turned black. "...aaand now the battery's dead..."

"Are you serious now?!" Lori looks amazed... but not the good kind.

"Don't be mad!"

"Well, I can't be happy!"

I didn't have time to pay attention to this argument because I realize I was missing something. The lace that kept my pacifier around my neck was gone! I know I'm ten years old and a little sucker is not something I need, but it was the last and only thing I ever got from my parents. I was a baby when I was still with them. I don't know who they were and what parents even were until Corrin explained it to me. I may not have known them, but I do know that if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be alive and that they must've loved me because that's what they do. So even if a baby item is all I have left as proof that they existed, then I can't lose it!

I scan the area and found it a few meters far and raced to retrieve it.

"You know, you can be so... Wait, what is... CODY?! No, wait!"

"Huh?!"

I pick it up. "Got it!" In the next instant, I'm shoved away and I see Lori being body slammed by one of the sheep. I gasp. "NOO!"

"LORI! No, no, no!" Meeko screams after me, rushing over. But then he is held back to fight off the other two. "GET LOST, DAMN IT!"

I look at the sheep on top of Lori and wait. He doesn't use his powers. He doesn't go through it even as the sheep is tired and doesn't move. It only means he's hurt.

"Lori!"

Then it happened. I felt goosebumps and the sheep floated to the air. But it's hard to keep it there. Meeko got to escape the other two sheep, carrying Lori who looked injured with some scratch marks. But he was still conscious. They were out of the way and I mentally dropped the sheep. My knees buckles up and I collapse. The two sheep went for me. I didn't have the strength to move.

"CODY!"

Then there's fire and I felt the heat. When my vision clears, the animals were burnt and I see our leader stepping into the glade.

"TREY!" I bound up towards him, limping a bit. I wrap my arms around his lower torso. "Lori's hurt!"

Trey pat my head. "I know, I see his wounds. But let's not panic, kiddo." We walk towards the twins. Trey helps Meeko support Lori. Then, he instructs me. "Take the sacks you can carry and get them back to the base. Alert Rhys, Code 4 for A1."

"What's Code 4 and A1 again?" I've just taken up lessons and still get terms mixed up.

"Rabid Animals. A1 is Area 1."

"Got it!"

I take a burlap sack, Meeko's, and run as fast as I can despite the extra weight. The last words I hear behind me are from Lori. I didn't know what it mean so it probably didn't matter.

"Don't tell him anything."

#ChildOfSolace Original

[the-desolated-quill]

The Angels Take Manhattan - Doctor Who blog (The Statue Of Liberty is a WHAT?!?!)

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Remember when the Weeping Angels used to be scary? Good times, right?

Blink was one of the few Moffat stories that I genuinely liked. It was a simple story with a simple gimmick. Statues that could only move when you weren’t looking at them. It was ostensibly a most lethal version of Grandmother’s Footsteps, and it was bloody terrifying. There was however one problem with the Angels. A problem that soon became apparent the more the Weeping Angels reappeared in the show. They’re really just one trick ponies. Once you’ve seen Blink, you’ve literally seen everything they have to offer. From that moment on, the Angels suffered from the law of diminishing returns. They just weren't scary anymore, and I believe even Moffat was semi-aware of this, hence why his timey wimey crap became more ridiculous and why he kept changing the established rules of the Angels in an effort to keep them fresh. Of course it didn’t work. All it did was mangle the Angels beyond repair and now they’re a shadow of their once scarier selves.

Which brings us to The Angels Take Manhattan. The complete polar opposite of Blink. Whereas Blink was simple, clever and scary, The Angels Take Manhattan is convoluted, stupid and about as scary as a basket full of kittens. As far as I’m concerned, The Angels Take Manhattan serves as a very harsh lesson on learning when enough is enough. Some monsters just don’t work as recurring villains, and the Weeping Angels are most definitely one of them. If Moffat had learnt to keep his massive ego under control, he wouldn’t have turned his greatest creations into the limp, nonsensical and utterly pathetic non-threats they are now.

Let’s stick with the Angels for a bit. Aside from their lack of scariness due to us knowing their MO off by heart now, Moffat also can’t help but change the rules again. Remember in Blink it was established they would turn to stone if anyone looked at them, including each other? Well we’re supposed to forget about that clearly as there are loads of moments where Angels are clearly looking at each other, but can still move. There’s also a really odd moment where a Cherub manages to blow Rory’s match out, but... the Cherub is frozen as a statue. How the fuck was it able to do that? Odder still, Amy and Rory get zapped by the Angels at the end, but on those occasions people were still looking at the Angel, so how did it manage to do it?

And then there’s by far the weirdest part:

The Statue Of Liberty is a Weeping Angel?!

This raises so many puzzling questions. Isn’t the Statue Of Liberty made of copper, not stone? How the fuck did it get from Liberty Island to Winter Quay without anyone noticing? And what is even the fucking point of that?! It’s not as if it actually does anything. It doesn’t even look like an angel. Nor do the statues of the woman and the boy who come chasing the guy who had the Angel chained up (and what was the deal with the guy who had the Angel chained up? We never find out what that was all about).

And we’ve only just scratched the surface here. There are loads of things that don’t make sense here. Take this ‘farm’ the Angels have made. So they send people back to a hotel in 1938 and send them back in time repeatedly to feed off of the time energy. But... why hang onto their victims afterward. Once they’re done feeding, they keep the victim locked in a room until they die of old age. What for? What’s the point? Why not just feed on them and let them go like they usually do?

Rory ends up becoming the latest victim and vows to escape, creating a paradox that will kill the Angels. But for some reason the Doctor doesn’t want to do that and I honestly don’t understand why. He says Rory’s death has been predetermined now, but that’s never stopped the Doctor before. It certainly didn't stop him in the previous series when he himself was destined to die. So why is saving Rory suddenly impossible? And I definitely don’t buy all that bullshit about how once you’ve read something, it’s destined to happen no matter what. That’s just bollocks and the show has contradicted that loads of times in the past. Moffat is once again just making shit up as he goes along and it’s not even consistent. Just look at the whole wrist breaking scene. The Doctor says River needs to break her wrist in order to escape (I don’t even understand that. The Angel has its hand wrapped around her wrist. The only way she could possibly escape is if she were to crush her entire hand down to a circumference smaller than her wrist) because the book says so. Except the book doesn’t say so at all. It just says the Doctor breaks something. Her wrist is never even mentioned and the Doctor doesn’t even break it in the end. (Also why would River lie about her wrist later on? I understand the metaphorical significance of hiding the damage, but it’s just plain daft).

Since I’ve brought up River Song, let’s talk about her. She reappears in this episode wearing a really stupid hat that’s pulled down over her eyes presumably in an attempt to make her look cool and mysterious, but in reality just makes her look like a tit. You’d think considering this is post Wedding Of River Song and we now know everything about her, she might behave a little bit more like an actual human being, but nope. She’s still just as smug and unlikeable as she was before. Actually The Angels Take Manhattan really highlights all the problems with her character, especially her relationship, or lack thereof, with the other characters. They keep insisting she, Amy and Rory are really close now, but I can’t see any evidence for that. It still feels just as strained and awkward as ever to me. As does her relationship with the Doctor. I just don’t buy the supposed ‘romance’ between the two whatsoever as their dialogue only seems to consist of bad sexual innuendo. There’s no genuine emotion or chemistry whatsoever.

Early on it soon becomes apparent how Moffat actually sees her:

Amy: “She’s got ice in her heart and a kiss on her lips and a vulnerable side she keeps well hidden.”

Yeah, turns out Moffat views her as being a noir dame. That’s something that never occurred to me, and that’s because ever since her first appearance in 2008, she had absolutely nothing in common with a noir dame. I mean come on! Ice in her heart? Since when? The Silence In The Library two parter alone contradicts that completely. It’s about as accurate a description as calling her a psychopath, which Moffat does again here by the way. He also describes her in the Melody Malone book as ‘packing cleavage that could fell an ox at 20 feet’. Okay, two things Moffat. One, no woman would EVER write something like that, and two, stop perving over Alex Kingston’s boobs, you colossal fucking creep.

But of course the big thing about The Angels Take Manhattan is that it’s Amy and Rory’s last ever episode. Is it a good farewell?

Credit where it’s due though, the scene on the roof was extremely good. It’s both tragic and emotional in equal measure, and both Karen Gillan and Arthur Darvill really go for it, giving truly incredible performances. It’s hard not to be moved by Amy’s decision to jump off the building with Rory and if Moffat and everyone had just left it at that, it would have been an extremely powerful ending. Instead they seem to go out of their way to ruin it. For one thing, rather than just have Amy and Rory jump off the building and have the performances of the actors be what drives the shock and tragedy of it all, they decide to over-egg the pudding by having Amy and Rory fall in slow motion whilst Murray Gold’s stupid choir performs a slushy melody, which just made the whole thing feel mawkish.

Also it’s hard to be emotionally invested in their sacrifice when it makes no sodding sense. I can understand the paradox killing the Angels, but un-making the hotel? How does that work? What’s Rory got to do with the construction of the hotel? How would his death affect it? And if the hotel never existed, it would mean Rory could never jump off the roof of it to create the paradox in the first place, so wouldn’t we just end up right back to where we started?

Then it just gets worse when we’re suddenly pinged back to the present day and a lone Angel zaps Amy and Rory. Hold on a fucking minute! I thought the paradox killed the Angels! Where the fuck did this one come from?!

The biggest problem with this is that it doesn’t have nearly the same impact the roof scene had because we’ve already done all this a few minutes ago. So why are we doing it again? As far as I’m concerned, it would have worked so much better if Amy and Rory had just plunged to their deaths and that was the end. This just doesn’t make sense. The Doctor says he can’t visit 1938 New York again or it’ll destroy the planet or some such bollocks, but then River says she has to visit Amy in order to write and publish the Melody Malone book. Why not just use her Vortex Manipulator to get them out? Or get them to drive to New Jersey or somewhere and the Doctor can pick them up. It doesn’t make any sense.

And then, as the final turd in the water pipe, we see on the gravestone that Amy has changed her last name to Williams, showing that at last she’s fully committed to her marriage in a way no woman who kept her own name could ever be.

The Angels Take Manhattan is fucking awful. The story makes no sense, the Weeping Angels have been completely and utterly defanged by this point and what could have been a really emotional farewell for Amy and Rory is utterly botched thanks to Moffat putting more emphasis on outsmarting the audience rather than writing a satisfying goodbye.

So let’s end with my final thoughts on Amy and Rory. I’m not going to lie. i wasn’t very impressed. Rory faired slightly better I feel. While his character arc is pretty much the same as Mickey Smith’s from the RTD era, at least Rory actually got to grow and evolve during his time in the TARDIS and Arthur Darvill did a good job overall. Amy on the other hand is definitely one of the weakest companions I’ve ever seen, not just in New Who, but in general. I’ve made it no secret over the course of these reviews how much I dislike her. She’s selfish and obnoxious, and she exhibits a lot of the problems present in all of Moffat’s female characters, namely her lack of agency and proper characterisation. Over two and a half series, she hasn’t actually grown or evolved in any meaningful way and we’ve learnt basically nothing about her outside of her relationship with the Doctor. This was most apparent in Series 6 where she gives birth to and loses her child and at no point does Moffat ever address how she feels about that, and the reason for that is because he doesn’t view her as a character. He views her as a plot device in a mini-skirt whose sole contribution to the story is her legs, her sass and her womb. That’s not to say I don’t like Karen Gillan. I think she’s a great actor and episodes like Amy’s Choice and The Girl Who Waited have demonstrated that when you actually give her some good material to work with, she can give a truly amazing performance. It’s just such a shame that Moffat never fully utilised her.

So goodbye Amy and Rory. You could have been so much more, but at the end of the day... you just weren’t.

#the angels take manhattan #steven moffat #doctor who #eleventh doctor #matt smith #amy pond #karen gillan #rory williams #arthur darvill #river song #alex kingston #weeping angels #bbc #review #spoilers