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composeregg · 1 year

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disclaimer: I am a volunteer for the OTW. I am speaking for myself, not on behalf of the organization, anything expressed here is my own. I may be wrong about some things, I'm very much not involved in any of this as part of my work. Additionally, I haven't run this by anyone else in the org, so take that as you will. I'm just a person, hoping to reassure other people, fans like myself.

A few people have come to me asking questions about this, and asking clarification already, so I just.... Want to reassure everyone. A lot of people follow me and know I volunteer, even if I don't talk about it much.

No, Ao3/OTW is not endorsing AI. Scraping is not being allowed or encouraged (you can, in fact, see here in this link, the code of Ao3 disallowing scraping). There is only so much the organization can do to prevent this. If you set your works to logged-in users only, it does somewhat give more protections. Data miners are very proactive, and prevention measures can only do so much. After the data is harvested, with or without consent, it is that much harder to pry back and out of those hands.

Many, MANY people are panicking. They saw an excerpt of an interview in this week's OTW Signal news roundup. This interview was from someone on the legal team of the OTW. She was speaking not for the organization, but as someone with credentials in the fields being discussed. Much of this has been misinterpreted and relayed second-hand. It was a conversation primarily about trademarks and AI.

I don't know the course the OTW is going to take regarding AI with the law, myself. That's not my field whatsoever. I can say, how would we even have the TIME or ABILITY to "develop an AI to be integrated with AO3" as some people speculate? It took our volunteer coders years to work out a block/mute function and get it from idea through testing to implementation.

The OTW does not want to just feed everyone's fanfic into AI. The organization may end up taking a middle-ground stance on the legality of AI and AI-generated creations. I don't think that Disney would care much for the distinction between "This is an AI generated item infringing on our trademark, remove it" versus "This is a fan-made item infringing on our trademark, remove it." The legality of AI versus fan creations is a very tricky topic, and from my understanding, that was the focus of the interview and what was being discussed (along with some other ideas).

Protecting the right to fanfiction and fan creations existing is the primary goal, and navigating new, emerging technologies that could find similar arguments, whether or not people at the org agree with them, means they may end up protecting them somewhat. This is not a betrayal of fandom. Every volunteer is an individual, and opinions within the org are all over the place, but we are all fans as well, and we don't want random bots just lifting all our fics and creations without any say-so either.

The topic of AI is a landmine right now, and I do think it was insensitive and ignorant of the current fandom/political sphere to highlight something like that interview, especially in the way it was done. It immediately led to panic, distrust in the org, and people spinning off numerous infeasible ideas because they simply do not have information, and hear rumors or don't parse a conversation about legalese well (I know I had trouble with it! A lot of my understanding comes from reading discussion about it myself). Nuance is important, as is the fact that nothing is ever published or discussed in a vacuum.

I don't blame anyone for having misinformation, I get it. It can be hard to find correct info. Transparency is something the org is not always great at (it's being worked on! Everyone is aware it's an issue! We are just very,,,,, very slow at implementing changes, as a volunteer-run organization). Time is the OTW's most valuable resource, and we are constantly, constantly in demand and in need of more time and manpower. It can make communications difficult, and very stressing.

The OTW is a non-profit, it is not selling any data. It does not want to sell your data. The money it makes is solely from donations. There is not going to be any selling to AI, there is not going to be any attempt to implement AI for the OTW itself.

Honestly, beyond that, I'm super not qualified to talk about the legal aspects of everything in the article/interview. I don't know all the inner workings of the org, I don't know all the thoughts and opinions and legal stances. I don't even know all the nuances of AI legal issues myself. I just know that I don't think it can replace creativity, and that it could be a fascinating tool in a better world (but I do not trust how it could be used here and now).

I hope this helps anyone who sees it. I hope that this is a reassurance, and that maybe it will help people feel better. I know panic is a powerful force, and I know there is a great distrust in any organization even mentioning AI (usually for valid reasons!). I know information can be hard to find, and legal discussions hard to read, I've been there with the org myself.

But the OTW is a group of people trying their best to make sure that fandom has protections. There are like, a thousand of us or something. Not all of us are going to agree on everything, but we all agree fans deserve a space to create and have those creations protected. One of the inciting incidents of its founding was a hatred of the idea of some company trying to profit off of fanworks with complete disregard for the fans themselves.

The OTW was founded to prevent fans from being taken advantage of, and to protect fandom's right to exist. It is never going to betray that core tenet. Partially because we're all fans ourselves and have a vested interest in keeping it that way, but additionally: This organization is nothing without its volunteers, and if someone high up on the board or something genuinely tried, we would know and we would make ourselves known.

(Just look into the Board Election of 2015!)

#otw #organization for transformative works #ao3 #archive of our own #ao3 discourse #egg speaks #ao3 blogging #otw blogging #I will turn off reblogs if people try to start shit #also if staff tells me I fucked up then like. I will delete this tbc #I just. want to say something. I'm just some person #but I don't want other people to feel like they need to panic #or be afraid #or take down their works #also this feels repetitive but yolo

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suzukiblu · 9 months

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Hello all, I am honestly not even sure how long it's been since I've really talked to anyone online and I'm very sorry for just straight-up ghosting so many of you, but I'm trying to work on resuming my life and reconnecting with people a bit and especially trying to start picking up all of the commitments I've let myself drop in the past year or two.

Full disclosure, I've been having a bad time mentally for quite a while and just haven't been available to anyone in my life, online or off. I'm really sorry to have stressed people out with that because I know I did worry a few of you. I'm just not all here, to be honest, and I haven't handled it well. I'm having some personal struggles and just not doing my best taking care of the resulting issues--it's not anything trauma-based/triggered, it's more along the lines of problems with in-built psychological issues stemming from chemical imbalances that I just don't always manage as effectively as I could. But I'm not physically ill and haven't been in an accident or anything like that, and I'm trying to re-engage with life now. Catching up with people I owe communication/commissions/explanations to is on my list, but I just haven't managed to make it very far into said list yet. I am, however, physically healthy and in stable housing, and if anything emergency-adjacent happens I do have local friends and non-local family members I could get help from, so I'm not in an "immediate crisis" situation.

I'm just also unemployed, out of money, and scraping by on food stamps and state-issued healthcare that doesn't cover my previous psychiatrist, and I haven't been able to find a new one in-network who's taking patients and actually, like . . . calls me back when I leave a message or email them in interest of making an appointment. I'm signed up with a program that can help me get a job, hopefully, but the process is taking a little while and I'm not sure how long it'll take in the end, so the future is very nebulous at the moment.

And like . . . VERY full disclosure, I'm just very depressed and stuck being off my meds for the forseeable future. My room is a mess I can't bring myself to clean up, I feel like I can't engage meaningfully with a lot of things, I don't feel hopeful or optimistic at all, my emotional responses are all heavily muted, my coping mechanisms are avoiding breakdowns but are not long-term helpful or productive, and I'm neglecting a lot of people and things in my life and my own best interests because I just . . . don't care.

I know my situation and my feelings are largely just because I'm going through a major depressive phase unmedicated and with limited personal resources, it's not an end of the world scenario or anything. It's just been difficult and upsetting trying to find ways and motivation to fix my life and get out of that phase when I'm already feeling sunk in a quagmire and like I did all this to myself with my own mistakes, and I'm just trying to take things one step at a time and build back up from where I'm at.

So long story short: I'm not doing great right now but I'm stable, and I greatly appreciate the concern and grace I've been given while being just entirely off radar and am going to be doing my best to make right or make up for the neglect. If anyone wants or needs to check in on anything I owe them, please feel free to message me and ask; I'll be trying to contact everyone I owe anything to but given the brain-fog I've been dealing with I don't trust myself not to miss anybody in there, so believe me, if you feel the need I will in no way be offended and you'd probably be doing me a favor anyway.

Thank you all, you've all been so good to me over the years. I'll hopefully be in touch soon. ❤

#rintalk

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xelasrecords · 26 days

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Violent Need

Han Jumin x MC

NSFW

Attempting to kill herself to hurt Jumin has consequences. MC is about to find out what.

A/N: It occurred to me that I mostly write slow scenes. Time to remedy that!

CW: referenced suicide, hate sex (oral), getting off to violent imagery

Words: 1.8k

Masterlist Read on AO3

"Why is it always you?"

Jumin didn't budge from her balcony. His breath was still laboured, his black tie dangling loose from his collar. The wind roared against the bolted windows. She could barely make out the street far below, but she knew it was stranded. Nobody with good sense would take a stroll at this hour.

She pulled her night robe tighter around her. It was a comforting embrace that she would never get from him. "I'm sick of seeing you here."

His jaw hardened. "I am only here when my presence is needed. Had you not triggered the alarm, I wouldn't have come," he said. "Understand that I put your feelings into consideration. I'm not the heartless monster you make me out to be."

She cackled. "A monster with a heart is still a monster." The sound that escaped her throat was raw, dry sand scraping against inflamed flesh. "You don't put a fucking tracker on someone you love. You trust them."

Jumin snapped his head at her. His knuckles that gripped the railing were turning white. "Was I wrong in guessing that you were trying to kill yourself?"

She met his gaze steadily, those grey eyes so devoid of warmth that if she cleaved him open, it might as well reveal a hollow husk of a body. "No."

Jumin threw his hands up and walked away from the window. "Should I have sat around while your vitals deteriorated then? Your oxygen saturation was plummeting." He raised her chin and slid a trembling hand down the necklace of bruise around her neck. His touch was delicate. She was his fragile doll that he was determined to put together whenever she fell apart. There were too many cracks to be deemed lovable, but Jumin loved her still. "Under no circumstances can you die. You are needed in this association. I need you."

A pleasant sensation stung down her spine. She would not burn alone in the hell he put her in. He had to bleed as she bled. She threaded her fingers through his ink-black hair and jerked him close. "Whatever do you need me for?"

"You are the only one who understands me."

She nodded. "Why do you think I didn't strangle myself all the way through?" Her lips smoothed into a cold smile. "Ending my life permanently was never my goal. Chipping away yours is."

Jumin drew in a sharp breath. "I will still love you even with nothing left of me. You don't know what I've done to keep you safe. You have no clue of the things I'm capable of doing for you." He leaned his forehead against her as his voice dropped low. "You will stay alive and whole. That's an order."

She twisted her hold on his hair until he winced. "Any other rule I have to abide by?"

"You're moving in with me."

A weight dropped on her stomach.

She stumbled backwards into her bedroom. The temperature abruptly fell as the adrenaline of hurting him left her. She would be forcibly removed from the only place she felt safe in. "This is the only place that's mine. You are not taking this away from me."

Jumin stalked towards her with great caution as if she were a feral cat, and she felt like one. She hated that he always tried to appease her anger. It was her right to be furious. He had no right to take it away from her.

He took, and took, and took. All the material things he gave her were the pitiful apologies she had no use of.

"You are a danger to yourself," said Jumin. "You have proven that you are not to be trusted alone."

Her eyes darted around her room wildly, taking in the pieces of furniture that she had arranged to her comfort. The sharp-edged hand mirror that Jumin would wrench away from her the second he noticed the dried blood on it. She had forgotten to clean it before triggering the alarm. The blooming dahlia on her dressing table, the only living thing she cared to take care of.

How was it possible that she had no power over Jumin when he was blinded by his love for her? She wanted to be the poison to his existence. The person harbouring more feelings should be dependent on the receiver. Love made you weak, but Jumin used it to fortify his claim on her instead.

This was her present for nurturing the monster in him.

"What will I have left once you take away my home?"

"Calm down," said Jumin. It did nothing but to further incense her. "A relocation is not a complete removal. You will have freedom—within reason—in my penthouse. There's a new room already set up for you. We can decorate it to mimic this current interior. Everything will be tailored to your comfort."

"'We'?" she spat. "I will take no part in dolling up my prison."

"I'm not abandoning you. You will still have your home, with me." Jumin sighed. He stood a few steps away from her, oceans away from the person she once cared about. "I wish you would want me like I want you."

"How do you want me exactly?" Her voice shook with contempt. "Chained to your bed so I can't go anywhere without your permission? Kept on a leash so I have to trail after you like a dog? Sedated so I can be pliant and quiet?"

Jumin studied her, searching for a truth that did not exist. "Would you like that? Would you reciprocate my love if I indulged in your fantasies?"

Her skin crawled at his inference. There was no breakthrough. Every word she threw at him would simply be twisted to his convenience. "What you have for me is not love."

The cords in his neck went taut. "That is the one thing you fail to understand about me."

"You wouldn't have assumed my fantasies if you loved me. You would have asked. My thoughts would matter to you."

"I see." Jumin rubbed his lips with his forefinger. "My apologies. Tell me, what do you like to fantasise about?"

She snatched at his wrist and sank her fingers between his wrist bones, digging into the strains of muscle. She straightened her posture; she was a tall woman, but Jumin had the ability to make her feel smaller, lesser, as if everything that made her could be easily crushed. She supposed there was some truth in it.

"You, dying." She guided his hand to slip into her panties and rubbed at her clit while letting her robe fall around her shoulders. "I picture you dying."

A flash of hurt passed across Jumin's face, but he recovered in the next moment. He kissed her neck and curled two of his fingers into her entrance. She groaned, but they slipped in with some effort.

"I want to see blood around your lifeless body." She gasped when he hit the right spot and her breasts rose and fell at a quickening pace. Jumin's expression when he stared up at her was darkened with lust that he often tried to keep at bay. "Stabbed to utter deformity. Ripped apart until you couldn't haunt me anymore. I want to stain my hands with your blood. I would forever be marred by you."

Jumin pushed her against the wall, his hands never leaving her. "Do you really hate me that much?"

Her gaze flicked to him, desperate for another taste of his pain. But he wore his hunger for her as a shield. There were no chinks in his armour. "It would be proof that I had done something. That I could reduce you into nothing and emerge a victor. I would fucking wear you like a badge of honour."

Jumin slid to his knees and pulled down her panties. The sight of him lowering himself for her should have been glorious, but it filled her with derision. It was just a ruse. They both knew who really held the power in this relationship. "I am not terrified of you."

She sneered down at him. "Killing you would be the best thing I had ever achieved."

Jumin let out a long-suffering sigh and balled up her panties before stuffing them into her mouth. There was a warning in his eyes that made her heart falter, a reminder that this was the person who had destroyed her beyond redemption. "As much as I love your nightmare tongue, I need you to be quiet."

He perched her calf over his shoulder before she could knee him on his face. She had half a mind to do it. But his mouth latched onto her core, tongue swirling in her and sucking her and her thoughts shattered.

Jumin laved at her until her hips bucked. She pushed his head against her and he tightened his bruising hold on her thighs. It was almost comical, how he was allowed to hurt her, but not herself. Her body wasn't even hers, and it was made apparent by the pleasure that Jumin continued to rip out of her.

When Jumin added three fingers and stretched them out, her back arched off the wall. It burned at first, but it quickly dissolved into a pain that she longed for. She was getting close, and she bit on the cloth in her mouth to avoid screaming out Jumin's name. He would not get the satisfaction of winning over her body. This ecstasy was for her and her only.

Her keening grew more desperate and her movements more frantic, but Jumin suddenly stopped. He held her hips against the wall and slowly stood up.

She spitted out the soaked panties. "What—"

"We can finish this at my penthouse," Jumin stated calmly, slick glistening his chin. He glanced at her panties on the floor with disinterest. "There is no need to put on a new underwear when we leave. You won't meet anyone at this hour, and Driver Kim knows better than to comment on your indecent state." He combed through her rustled hair and trailed his fingers down the valley between her exposed breasts.

Her vision turned white. She yanked on his tie until blood rushed to his beautiful, detestable face, until he started choking and coughing. "You're not a good person. You think you're doing the right thing to save me, but you're just as demented for using my body against me. You made me like this. You planted this hatred in me. It's your fault I can't love you."

Jumin pried her fist open with great effort. After taking several moments to catch his breath, he secured her night robe back in place with robotic efficiency. "I'm doing this for your own good. You will understand in the future."

"You should be afraid of me," she gritted out, venom lacing every drop of her word. "I will ruin you. I will."

Jumin's lips curled into a bitter smile and he kissed her, forcing her to taste herself. "You already have."

Footnotes:

🤷🏻‍♀️

Buy me a glass of something that’s definitely not coffee because I can’t stand it but it is the website’s name if my story touches you in some way? No worries if you don’t. I’m still grateful you’ve read all the way through here.

#having more thoughts on jumin being controlling. the brain rot continues #xela writes #tw suicide #jumin han x mc #jumin han smut #jumin han angst #jumin han fic #mystic messenger fanfiction #mysme #jumin han

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seekingthestars · 5 months

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i've been fine.

i can talk about The Deer Incident™ and make jokes and laugh and breathe. the place on my knuckles that was scraped raw is almost healed. my brother has been very nice and let me borrow/drive his small truck that he doesn't really drive anymore so that i'd have a method of transportation in case i need it.

but i think today, 11 days after it happened, it's really settled in that my car was totaled, i don't have him, i can't ever drive him again, he's gone.

it really happened and he's really gone and i can't just magic a new car into existence. and it's gonna take longer than i want to get a new one bc the used car market is insane and i don't even know what i WANT and i don't have time to go a million places and test drive things and figure out what i do want, and i honestly need help and someone to go with me so then my available time to go look at things is even more limited bc it depends on when my brother's available and if he has the time to drive all the way here to help

and i don't want to drive my brother's truck. i am very appreciative that i have it, but i don't want to drive it. and both yesterday and today when i was driving it, it did this momentary thing where it wouldn't go over 25mph and would shake, which, even though i got it back to normal both times, is clearly not great and is going to start giving me anxiety every time i try to drive it now bc i don't actually know how to fix it, it's just hope. i don't know this vehicle. i don't know what all the noises mean, i don't know what's normal and what should be worrisome. i knew all of that about my car. i had driven that car for 13 years. i loved my car. i loved my car so much.

and i feel so stupid to be sitting here physically crying bc it's finally somehow hit me that my car is just gone. and i didn't get to say goodbye. it's an inanimate object, that shouldn't matter. but i wish i'd at least done that.

and i'm honestly so stressed and overwhelmed with everything else going on but i just do my best to keep going and hold it together bc of everything going on with my grandma and how my parents need my help taking care of things bc of that but i don't want to be strong anymore, i just want to breakdown for a minute, i'm so tired of trying to keep it together all the time

today hasn't been a particularly good brain day. i've just been sad most of it. had to force myself to run errands and i didn't even enjoy that, i just had things i'd promised my mom i'd do for her and things i needed to do before tomorrow and i knew i had to so i did, but it has not been a good brain day. and now i'm crying.

and dammit i just really miss my car

#personal

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sepalina · 5 months

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ty for the tag! @infinitelystrangemachinex

- three ships: I was honestly never a big shipper, so there are very few ships I give a damn about, and even fewer that I'll seek out content for, so I guess the ones that exist stand out?? I used to be pretty turned off by shipping culture because of the aggression and entitlement, and it's still not a big thing for me, but I did discover a community of Rational Adults who are cool about it and its a fun hobby. (I'm sure some would deny "being cool about it", but look... have YOU sent death threats about your ship over social media, or hatemail to the creators? No??? THEN YOU'RE COOL ABOUT IT.)

ObiYuki (Akagami no Shirayukihime) - Because DUH. When I finished the anime I contented myself with the knowledge that it wasn't endgame, THEN I READ THE MANGA. (Came to the server for the ship, stayed for the community.)

Celty / Shizuo Heiwajima (Durarara)- Listen, he's the Berserker and she's the Valkyrie. Shizuo is a good friend and a good man who didn't grow up performing surgery on Celty from a young age. They have chemistry. The official ship with the doctor makes me GAG.

Jason Todd / Stephanie Brown (Batman) - They're the working class Robins who died and are generally mistreated and judged harshly, and they've got some REAL GOOD FIC. Wayne Family Adventures knows what's up. THE CREATORS KNOW WHAT THEY DID. They don't count as Batcest to me. 🤣 In the comics they're supposedly good friends, but it sprang out of nowhere, so Rosenberg can bite me.

- first ship: Pfff.... ummmm. I'm honestly trying to reach back to any pairing I had vague feelings for. ...OH!! Duo Maxwell and Hilde from Gundam Wing, the series that occasionally teased romance and then did nothing with it, because the Pretty Boys aren't allowed to be in an official relationship.

It's an overdramatic show, but I remember watching it again back in college and going "Aww, the pilots DO have character arcs, and they're kind of touching."

- last song: Ummmm... something on youtube. I think the Cyberpunk 2077: Edgerunners soundtrack.

- last film: Godzilla (2014). This is such an awesome, grounded take with a lot of gravitas. The combination of visuals and music for the halo drop into the burning city still gives me chills. I don't know my art history well, but the scene of the city is definitely composed in reference to a specific era, romanticism maybe. So beautifully apocalyptic. The protag is hot and likable.

currently reading: Mediocre fanfiction. 💖 (Scraping the bottom of the Jason Todd/Batfam barrel because I am still DEEP IN THERE.) Some books I've been considering: Children of Time, We Are Legion (We Are Bob), a nonfiction book about American fruit/vedge history, some comic books.

currently consuming: Black coffee.

currently craving: Woods. Sweet Lord... I need to haul my ass out to a real park. I grew up spoiled with wooded common ground that doubled as a bird sanctuary. The massive, gorgeous oaks in my neighborhood are great and a testament to the arborists that care for them, but they are NOT ENOUGH.

#back when I played Valheim for the first time it gave me Feelings because of the woods #it feels like virtual forest bathing

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astarab1aze · 1 month

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"I find myself thinking about things I couldn't have the heart to tell you. I think about the end, about my own decline, about how frail I am now and how I will only be a burden to you as time goes on. I don't want to be so infirm that you have to do everything for me, for the rest of my life. I don't want that for you, and, damn it, I still have enough pride in me to refuse that for myself. But I know where I'm headed, and... Sometimes I think it's better for us both if I die before it gets any worse. I couldn't bear to see you wait on me hand and foot; and I couldn't bear to be waited on. The coward in me doesn't want to die at all, but perhaps dying earlier would be less arduous: I wouldn't have to put you through so much, watch you watch me waste away. But what can I do to avoid any of it? Even living, or dying, without you is something I know for a fact I could not handle. I am afraid. I'm terrified of the future, and it's coming closer all the time." (If you know who this is for, then you know who this is from.)

confess

Effort to appear unbothered was put forth, great care to maintain a lack of worry or concern, as he knew right and well who this was - whose words, whose cadence, whose desperate confession whispered in acheful tones. A love far greater than any he could've ever known, ever come to appreciate or reciprocate, share first, and so intense in spite of all. Everlasting, hopeless and tinged with all the grief and sorrow befitting a warlock with an anxious heart, pain and agony leaking into every word tumbling out of a man obscured from view. Convenient, that crystal blue should not meet peridots he wanted nothing more than to dive into, hands eager to gather slender figure into his arms as if the separation would eat him alive - what Hell it was to be unable to drag his fingers over hollow cheeks, paw at and tenderly kiss away the woes and worries of the only man who could give him the greatest gift of all. Redemption, atonement, the grace to afford him a chance, however reluctant in the beginning, however painfully unwanting. And yet now to have him admit his darkest sorrows which proved the opposite true, veiled in shades of gray too murky to peer through, Garrett was unsettled. Uncomfortable. Anxious, himself.

He said nothing in return for some time, the shadow over his eyes heavy and dark and wholly unreadable. Images of a shattered, ever-repeating mirror came to mind, a trap beset by Moloch in which they were each forced to watch each other suffer great torture and near-death, drawing comparisons here and now - perhaps flippantly, but it lingered and spread dread through his body as vilest poison, Hell's heat and apathy burning away at the calm he'd felt before. Yes, anxious - very anxious. There were too few things he could do to soothe worries of his own, and even less for V's, memories of the occasion he nearly lost him too soon, too early, too too too-- His palms felt a bit clammy, how unusual for him, teeth catching on his lower lip. Smoke began to steadily wisp free from the corners, then his nose, gaze flickering this way and that, mind racing, heart squeezing in his chest, flesh crackling and flaking away as if naught but ash, blackened fur peeking through like tufts of grass in pavement as the Cerberus in him revealed itself in full. Massive paws touting gnarled claws scraped into the cement beneath him, cratering under his impressive weight, fanged maw sparking, noxious fume and heat catching flame - evidence of his Hellborn blood. All this, a defense mechanism, a dogged uncertainty best left in the shade of animalistic crimson eyes and expressions that couldn't be made.

He hated talks like these in the first place, much happier to believe that V could live a life eternal alongside him, even if his devotion would see him through many more lifetimes for just a chance to see him again otherwise. It didn't matter if V died-- Oh, but of course it did. In every sense, in every version of every life in every timeline in every universe. It mattered exponentially more than anything else Garrett could possibly think of, claws flexing, grinding cement into dust. He shook himself, his hide, ash and ember falling away from him, and lowered himself to the ground, gnarled paws quick to cover his muzzle, tails tucked between his legs. Inching closer to the barrier between them, seeing all of V's emotions for what they were and being entirely powerless to fix it. Of course it mattered, but he didn't want it to. He wanted V to know that no matter the occasion, no matter the time, no matter the place, no matter his condition, his aches, Garrett would persist. He would love him as he always had, always and forever, and V need not worry for him. At the beginning and end of all things, he would wait, even if he should waste away in turn.

A whine bellowed from deep within him, and it was then he would choose to speak.

"Vitale," he chuffed, paw slipping from his maw, a deafening rumble to all but those attuned. "You're only thirty-something... and you're too stubborn to die. You're not going to die tomorrow." A light-hearted beginning, but it was acheful, crimson gaze glossy with emotion he couldn't bear to impart. "I found you in this life, I will find you in the next, and I will find you as assuredly in death. Weep not for me, nor for yourself, for the time we have is precious. Mecum eris semper, et ego tecum. There are no lifetimes, no worlds, no circumstances in which you will find yourself without - I promise you - and these pains and fears you feel will cease. To leave me... To have had you in the first place is already more than I deserve, with Lust and Wrath my cardinal sins and Hell burning like a furnace inside of me. How ever could I take you, so precious to me, and look upon you with only sorry and regret?" Wolfish nose to press against partitions, dry and caked with volcanic rock and the reek of sulphur. "I wish not for you to dwell like so, to crumble underneath your own mortality, and instead to dream and take heart in knowing the truth beyond this. In knowing you will have me, no matter the circumstances, no matter, no matter... Love is stronger than death, stronger than time, stronger than pain and woe, and you shall know it until the end of all, until the end of time as we know it. I'll make sure of it. I'll find a way. I won't have you wither, but you needn't worry if you shall. Please, stop this. Please, listen to me. Please, trust in me to ease your suffering. Love me as you are, as you will be, as I do, as I do. Vitale, V, my love, my greatest love... my only love."

@melancholymirth

#☿ || Asks.#♞ // Private: Love and Harmony.#melancholymirth #long /#/ uwu #/ presented without comment my beloved

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nixxsmokeweed · 8 months

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How accessible is 648 Kingsway??

King's way Is a small Venue that Not a lot of people seem to know about It a converted store front that open up around 7:30pm The main entrance is at the back. This is Where most people smoke And hangouts in between sets If you are in a wheelchair, there is a separate entrance.

The wheelchair actress is at the front of the building I find it is easier to message someone before hand that you r coming They put out a small Wooden ramp to make it easier to get in and out. Not as many people hang out by this entrance so if you are overwhelmed it's a great place to go but you can only use that door in between sets

The ramp itself is a little steep. And I find it hard to get up without assistance. Also, when getting down, it would scrape the bottom of my foot rest If I didn't adjust it to be higher.

Bathroom

Right Pas the entrance, find the bathroom It's small and you cannot fit a wheelchair For something like a Walker inside it I was able to Use it with my cane Put some people will need assistance. The toilet itself is quite low. For some people, this may work for some not. There is also no Grip bar so you will need to be careful When getting up

The bathroom does have a list of Local taxi services Please remember, do not drink or smoke and drive. It is not only a risk to you, but the people are around you.

Main stage And dance floor

There is no physical state The musicians play at The Far back (aka the front) the room by the front Entrance Do to this, you cannot leave the building if you are in a wheelchair. During Each set Personally, this was not an issue for me.

At the entrance, you will find a small bar (that I accidentally forgot to take pictures of)

There is a couple seats, but over all it is standing only. Unless you chill to sit on the floor. This did not stop people from dance I found myself having enough Room to do, wheeliese. And dancing Around I did remove my sides / Armrest To give me some more Room to get around

So how accessible it is??

Personally I find the community puts in a lot of Effort to make sure. I was able to enter and be a part of the show. Making sure to Let me know when I should come in so Before Each set started. Moving The stage stuff around so I could have access to the front door easily If you will don't have a lot of access to money, that isn't too much of an issue Either as it's a pay, what you can venue. I'm very grateful for all The effort people put in for me to have a good time at night. I had a lot of fun and I could see myself going again. But I'm sorry to say that it is not the most accessible venue. Overall I will be giving it 4.8/10

Final thoughts & Improvements

I had a really good time and The community made it much easier for me to get around I feel a lot of the problems aren't The fault of the. People who are hosting the show and more problems with the overall building. I think the main thing that could be improved on would be getting a grip bar in the bathroom and making the ramp a little less steep and more level 2 the Step If you are not able to leave your wheelchair. I would suggest bringing friend to help you with getting in to the venue itself. And for the bathroom. I don't think this would work if you have a large wheelchair. I do see a lot of other mobility Aids fitting in here without issues Such as Walkers,Crutches,Rotators If you have the capability I definitely recommend Checking out 648 Kingsway.

#disability #cripple punk #wheelchair #actually disabled #punk #physically disabled #punk show #vancouver punk

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vonlipvig · 2 months

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It’s been a few days, but I wanted to update you on my Trauma Center play through, cos a lot has happened since I last did!

1) Tyler is a very interesting character, with a grey morality that I had to spend a good day or so thinking about. I wasn’t expecting euthanasia to be brought up in the way that it was, especially with it being a topic that (in my opinion) has so many different variables to take in to consideration when debating the ethics of it. I felt like the game did a pretty decent job with it (so far at least), along with the fact that euthanasia is something that can very easily slip away from being ethical, particularly if you’re basing things (as Tyler was with Amy) off of your own emotions.

2) I met the bastard triangles, and I lost to the bastard triangles… and I lost to the bastard triangles again… and then I realised that if I froze time right at the start, I could yank all the thorns out at once and get all the bastard triangles off in one, with all the care and precision of someone scraping ice off their car. Mario was still way harder for me, but I have a nasty suspicion that I haven’t seen the last of those bastard triangles, and that my quick fix method might not work in the future.

3) I’m still only getting rank C in surgeries, including the one I did on a damn plane that was experiencing turbulence at the time! So what if the patient died seven times before I healed him, I did veRY WELL GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES! AND WHO’S GRADING ME ANYWAY??!! YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THIS JOB!!! WELL COME ON UP AND TAKE THIS SCAL- oh you did a better and faster job than me….

4) I have now not only met Victor, but worked under him in surgery! The whole experience was the closest I may ever come to working as the capering and cavorting minion of a much hotter and more competent supervillain. Victor had to watch me chase that blob around that man’s chest for an honest to god five minutes, unable to hit anything as I was. At one point the patients vitals started to dip, while Victor watched in disbelieving horror as I tried to dutifully inject liquid into the patient’s already overflowing lungs. Then he told me to get back on the laser and shoot the damn blob (I’m pretty sure it was laughing at me getting chewed out), and I saluted my DS, so into the character I become… and accidentally thwacked myself in the forehead…

That said, watching me Wile E. Coyote my way around a man’s lungs apparently prompted Victor to take pity on me and he turn the game into Professor Layton a couple of times. Thus allowing me to get the only two A ranks I will ever see!

Ignoring my pleas to be reassigned to a different, easier genre, I was put back in surgery under Victor again, where I am now stuck. But that’s ok because Victor is kind of hot.

that's wonderful, i expect a full report of every surgery happening in this hospital every 3-5 business days /j

GOD YEAH, TYLER.........i love that they did the whole dr. death thing with him, especially since you see him and he's so...sunny. but yeah, it's such a great mini plot point that they added, and it makes him suuuch a complex character, and i just love him.

TRITI, MY MORTAL ENEMY. yeah, no, i see you, the trick is definitely to get rid of ALL spikes before they start to grow again...i was just BADDD at it, my god. it's still a running joke with my best friend that i hate triangles, all because of dear ole triti ♡.

OH MY GOD I FORGOR ABOUT THE PLANE SURGERY. this game fucking rules. atlus, look at me. make another one. i'm not asking.

I LOVE VICTOR HE'S SO GOOD he's definitely one of my faves, i love that he's kind of cunty, but like, because he knows he's the shit. i swear to god this game has such fantastic characters, it's sooo overlooked.

KEEO GOING, YOU CAN DO IT! (you have to tell me when you get to, hmm...the Puzzle).

#TYLER AND VICTOR MY BELOVEDSSSS #wait you saw the euthanasia thing now i can show you The Stupidest Thing Ive Ever Drawn #juli answers #trauma center

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kailuva · 2 days

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Hello there, I've mostly been lurking on this tag for a while but finally worked up the courage to ask for something.

Since you wanted to have some prompts for "pathetic" Kai, may I request / give you an idea ? First of all, it's so sad how few gay readers there are for this man, so could it be an x male reader ? Gender neutral is fine too, I'm just sick of seeing 'she's everywhere lol.

So my idea was that the reader somehow gets a hold of post Tartarus breakout Kai and takes care of him. Some nice simple fluff like idk, cooking a meal, bathing him etc.

Totally fine if you don't want this prompt, have a great day either way :3

as a gay dude who’s obsessed w him i would be delighted to anon, thank you for the ask!!

it is mostly fluff however i did get a bit carried away ngl i just can’t help myself w him he’s very kissable ok

“chin up, please.”

kai’s golden eyes slowly roll to fix on yours and the long pause teases you with the possibility that he’s going to disobey before he does do as you’ve requested, tipping his head back and gazing dull at the mouldy ceiling. you sigh in relief that he’s not in one of his argumentative moods, something that’s becoming more and more regular these days, and despite your own feelings it is preferable to the zombie act. he’s becoming much livelier since you’d first taken him in which is a good thing. it’s been tough but you’ve always been patient and nothing if not persistent with those in need— and he needs you.

you dip the straight razor in the sink and flick a few water droplets off, taking gentle hold of his jaw and gliding the blade up his neck with practiced ease. it feels as erotic as you imagine it looks— two men in a cramped bathroom, half naked, touching. you really want to get off the edge of the bathtub and sit on him instead but there’s something stopping you. he’s unpredictable as he is alluring and you don’t want to ruin it. you can admit to yourself that you are enjoying this, that you’re enjoying his vulnerability and your role as his sole caretaker, glad that he relies on you for everything from changing clothes to feeding himself to something as simple as a shower and a shave. he’s not totally helpless but he’s definitely gotten used to being babied. it’s more than fine in your books, it feels good to protect and love him as he is. how terribly fond of him you’ve grown.

you’ve intentionally drawn out the last few scrapes and if he notices it he doesn’t mention it. underneath the overwhelming scent of shaving foam and cheap shampoo you can smell him. it’s barely there, naturally, for someone who demands a shower twice a day, but you can pick it up. it’s nothing but utterly pleasant and you want to bury your face into him and just inhale. for as many dirty fantasies as you’ve had about him, somehow that one feels peculiarly perverted. red faced, you pull back to inspect your work, tilting his head this way and that. his eyes don’t leave yours.

“you put any thought into a moustache yet?” you ask. the look he gives you speaks volumes of his thoughts on that. “just kidding.”

chisaki sighs deeply as you chuckle and grab a dry towel to dab his cheeks and neck with. you feel refreshed just touching his newly bare skin. inwardly you mourn the loss of his stubble but for the pleasure of shaving him alone you’ll let it go. he’s gorgeous either way and you let your admiration show. his nose scrunches up at the intense scrutiny and he shies away from you, as if you hadn’t just helped him wash himself.

“don’t do that,” you murmur, turning him back to face you. you doubt he’s ever put much thought into his looks but you are curious to know if he’s aware of how pretty he is. of all the words to describe a persons beauty you think that’s what suits him most. you’ve told him so, just to embarrass him.

affection was not something usually invited but you know his tells well enough by now to see that he’s wanting, another little thing that’s become more frequent the more comfortable he gets with you. you caress his cheek like he’s something precious and press your lips to his neck, open mouthed and slow and purely indulgent. you smile at the sigh this elicits and he all but melts into you, allowing you to run your hand through his auburn hair and wrap the other around him. he’s practically on top of you and still it’s not enough, you want him impossibly closer, so you take a risk at a potentially embarrassing fall or rejection and tug him onto your lap. it’s a pleasant surprise when he doesn’t disagree and gives you a smouldering kiss of your own, no stubble burn to accompany it. he tastes good and clean, so, so clean. you want to devour him.

after a minute of passion he rests his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes. flushed and breathing a little heavier, you rub your hand up and down the smooth expanse of his back, over rippling muscles that somehow survived his imprisonment. “okay?” you ask, breathless.

you feel him nod against you. “tired.” he mumbles. “we’d have to shower again.”

you laugh a little, squeezing him affectionately. “alright. c’mon then, we’ll dry your hair and go to bed. unless you’re hungry?”

“no.“

he makes no move to get off you.

“kai?”

he hesitates before he asks, so quiet you barely hear it. “… carry me?”

you wonder why now, after all you’ve done for him, he sounds so unsure. you give him a final kiss that you hope reassures and conveys your utter devotion to him. you haul yourself off the tub and carry him to bed, knowing that if he still had his arms, he’d be holding you just as tight.

#chisaki kai #overhaul #chisaki overhaul #bnha chisaki #overhaul x reader

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kimium · 11 months

Note

What are your favourite headcannons for Lilia from Twisted Wonderland?

Hello friend! Thanks so much for this ask! Lilia is one of my top five favourites in Twisted Wonderland, so this is a great ask!

Please note I know very, very little about Book 7 as I am keeping myself spoiler free.

Remember, all of this is subjective and just my opinion!

My Headcanons for Lilia

Lilia met Young Trein and the two were lovers: I love this headcanon because of how polar opposite the two are. Even when he was younger, I think Lilia has always been a little mischievous. Trein on the other hand has always been very strict, no-nonsense, history of magic lover. Combining Lilia's vast knowledge of the world and history (since he's lived it) and I imagine the two had heated debates that turned into other heated activities.

Lilia had a lot of lovers in his life time: Look, I think General Lilia Vanrouge swept everyone off their feet with ease. He can still pull it off and he's super smug about it.

Lilia is a mix of vampire and Fae: This one mostly comes from the bats Lilia has flying around him occasionally. Since Twisted Wonderland seems to have different kinds of Fae and not all are equal (as seen in the Fairy Tale Gala), I don't think it's a stretch to think Lilia has some other mythical creature mixed in with him.

Lilia lives in a cottage in the woods once he adopts Silver: I think this is a widespread idea because it's based on Sleeping Beauty canon. Still, I love the idea of Lilia tucked away in some sleepy cottage, raising Silver on his own.

Lilia panicked the first time Silver injured himself: To prepare for raising a human child I imagine Lilia read all sorts of parenting books (for humans). What those books failed to mention was how to deal with a three year old bawling their eyes out after scraping their knee. Lilia was probably about to nuke the rock that Silver scraped his knee against into oblivion before he remembered some basic First Aid (for humans).

Lilia cared and looked after Malleus when Malleus was growing up: It's clear based on Malleus and Lilia's in game conversations that Malleus views Lilia as a guiding figure in his life. Malleus looks to Lilia for wisdom and advice. In turn, Lilia is more than happy to guide his young prince.

Lilia tries to not get involved in "his kid's" fights: Not that Lilia would not absolutely curb stomp someone if they truly tried to go after Silver and Sebek, but Lilia also taught both of them how to fight. Lilia believes that if he gets involved too much his boys won't learn how to solve their problems on their own. (By solve Lilia means try to politely resolve a situation and if that doesn't work beat them up 😀)

I'm not including Malleus into this because there are few people who would think of going after Malleus and the one who does (Leona) Lilia canonically views it as "Aw, Malleus has made a new friend".

Lilia beat up some bullies when he overheard them saying nasty things about Kalim/Cater/Idia: In contrast to Silver and Sebek, Lilia holds no reservations protecting his Light Music Club members and his Gaming Buddy. People at NRC soon learn that running their mouths can cause a lot of pain. Double for Kalim because I believe Jamil "I don't want to care about Kalim but I do" Viper has a nasty, sadistic streak.

Lilia is a bit possessive: I think this ties into my prior point, but Lilia is a Fae and I firmly believe all Fae have possessiveness buried in their genes.

Lilia loves sweets and spicy food a lot: There is no in between with Lilia in my mind. He's either trying the sweetest dessert on the planet that only Kalim can keep up with or he's eating peppers that could kill an adult man if too many are consumed. This does not bode well for anyone in Diasomnia.

Honourable mention

Lilia had long hair: (This is one of the very few Book 7 spoilers I am aware of.) I know this one's been confirmed by canon, however before canon confirmed Lilia had long hair when he was younger this was my top favourite headcanon. I love characters with long hair, especially male characters and I think it suits him.

#personal #replies #asks #twisted wonderland #my headcanons

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decaydanceredacted · 10 months

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yo that's the video that my pink sunglasses gabe redacted was about! also kinda forever ago, ofc inspired by that video, I wrote this whole thing around the idea of him putting the sunglasses on my face and also eating me out? just gonna copy and paste some parts here for y'all to enjoy (pls be nice)

"C'mere," Gabe calls over the music, although it's not really necessary with how he reaches through the crowd with a stupid long arm and takes my hand, then pulls me into his space. It's a welcome reprieve and I feel my shoulders drop in relief as he angles his body between me and the bulk of the people. "That guy was getting too close."

"I'm not yours," is what comes out of my mouth unbidden, albeit with a teasing smile. "But thanks. Really. I didn't like it either."

He just sort of looks at me, appraising, then scoops the obnoxious magenta glasses off his face and pushes them onto mine. "There."

They feel a little low on my nose, so I nudge them up with my knuckles but don't take them off. The pink is distracting around the edges of my vision. "Okay. Thanks?"

He rolls his eyes like I'm missing the point. "Now everyone's gonna know you're with me. They won't mess with you."

"Oh," I laugh, leaning my forehead against his hoodied shoulder. The glasses feel even weirder now, but it's a good weird, I think, one that makes me feel sort of warm inside. No one's ever claimed me like this, slapped a bright neon sign across my face that screams 'hands off'. "So I am yours."

"For tonight." Gabe puts a hand on my hip and squeezes just a little. "Promise I'll take good care of you," he says with a wink and a little grin that shows a sliver of his teeth, and oh, alright, I'm down.

"Just make sure to return me on time," I toss back, nudging the glasses up again. "The late fees are unreal."

"Oh no, girlie, you're not getting away that easy. I haven't even made you cum yet." He pushes those stupid fucking glasses up his head again, flashes me the grin of someone having the absolute time of his life, and dives back in.

I want to shoot back with some witty retort, make it clear that I've got plans of my own here, but he licks up my pussy again—one long, slow slide with the flat of his tongue—and the wave of heat through my veins makes my head fall back against the pillow as a breathy whine comes out of me. I scrape my thoughts together enough to try to protest as he does that again but slower and harder and good, so fucking good. "Gabe, I can't—god, I don't even know if I can."

He cocks an eyebrow up at me and breathes out, warm on my honest-to-god tingling lips. "You're doubting me? That hurts my feelings, you know."

"I'm doubting myselfffuck—"

Rudely, he interrupts me with a firm roll of his tongue around my clit followed by taking a mouthful of sensitive everything and sucking on it with a vengeance.

I gasp for air and mercy, and my legs kick out of their own accord so of course he just grabs them and pins my knees down with each stupid big hand as he relaxes his mouth just enough to get his tongue back on my clit. And I'm moaning because how could I not be, high, stuttery sounds that sound too desperate, but I can't really be bothered to care, not when I've finally got free rein to make as much damn noise as I want. It feels great, and somewhere in between it all he goes "c'mon, grab my head, gotta make my hair look good," so I do, and it just makes him suck harder.

Then Gabe lets up, pulls back to that slow, gentle licking, enough to let me think again but not enough to let the pleasure fade. It's only when he does that I realize how hard I'm breathing, hell, how hard I'm holding the sheets. "Oh my god," I say between breaths that shake when his tongue hits my clit, staring up at the ceiling like it could save me. "Okay." I swallow. "Not doubting myself. Or you. I stand corrected, your honour."

He laughs, sudden and snorting, and it might be the first real laugh I've heard from him all evening. "You're the cutest fucking thing, you know that?" His tongue does hot and pressurey things around my clit and my legs shake under his hands. "Gonna make you cum so hard, you don't even fuckin' know."

#gs #extra long redacted #co signed because that was some real shit you just said

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digitalsatyr23 · 4 months

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My Writeblr 2023 in Retrospect

This year feels like a weird blur. Like a lot happened, but looking back, I keep feeling like there are these huge blank spots. The only way I can really chart my course is through my writing, as well as what I uploaded here. While I became more active again near the end of 2022, the vast majority of the stuff I've done for my blog took place during this year. Unfortunately, not all the writing I did this year could be uploaded (private comms, group projects, NSFW content), and there were many dry spells here (especially recently) because of this.

What I'm Proud Of: This was the first year that I seriously did things like writing commissions. Like sure, I had done one for a friend and that worked out okay, but doing that with a friend you're familiar with is waaaaay different than working with people you don't know, especially since you gotta come up with rules and a general framework. Had some highs, had some lows, but I still feel happy I was able to scrape by on my writing alone. Like it was still rough because as basically everyone who lived through the same year can attest, 2023 was like "what if everything was more expensive for no goddamn reason" and that mean anything that was already hard was like... Way harder. Many a nights I had to ration out my food and eat like once a day to ensure I had a meal awaiting me the next day. So being able to not go hungry due to being able to write was pretty great, all things considered. I also made a lot of good writeblr friends on here. There's a pretty chill community on this site, and I'm glad that I get to be a small part of it. Hopefully my stuff will continue to be well-received going forward!

What I Regret: I think my biggest regret - aside from the major dryspells in creativity and motivation - has to be the fanfiction. Like it's no secret to me that the OoT fanfic I was writing between projects was like way more popular than my originals. And hey, that's totally cool. But it's also because of that that when I had to switch back to other projects, or just focus on surviving, I kept thinking to myself "Damn, I really dropped the ball with that one. I had a good thing going and then I just sorta walked away." I feel bad about that. Believe it or not, I do plan to return to it, but there's also another project that's been waiting for me to return to, so now that I've just about finished with this really huge commission, I need to give that project some love first. So the tl;dr is that I do plan to finish the OoT fanfic eventually, it's just not something I can get back to this very moment. If I have any updates for it, I'll let you guys know!

Stories/Chapters I Wrote This Year: 25

My 2023 Word Count: 261,933

I'm specifically counting short stories, novelettes, novellas, or chapters that are part of a larger but incomplete project (any story with multiple chapters that is complete would just be 1 in this case). Like I wrote a crapload of lore for my Arachnia setting buuuut if I had to sift through all that and include it here, I'd be here a long time... In any case, I just wanted to reflect on this year, partly so I could try and remember things, and partly so I could come to terms with both my proud moments and regrets. I feel like 2024 is gonna be the "me picking up the pieces" year or something, but I feel that I owe it to myself to keep moving forward and make things that I love. With luck, hopefully you'll love what I make too. Take care, everyone, and happy New Year!!

#blogging #writeblr #year review #my 2023 wordcount

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skinsort · 5 months

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This will be of interest to only a few of you I'm sure, but I'm so used to the kanban style of doing things in code that I made my own system for skinning in Notion. Nitty gritty below the cut

The not started column is more or less in order of how I want to approach things- I find starting at the edges and working your way in is the best way to be able to get responsive coding right. My general process is first I get the view I want at a lager screen size- I have some intuition about how to structure things there so I'm not tearing my hair out later, I wish I knew how to articulate it better. I generally code things to be flexible from the start, so usually I need to start compensating when I've deliberately coded things to take up smaller than 100% widths of the view. At some point, having all the real estate in the screen will be critical- and that's usually where my breakpoint is. Secondly, I squish the screen in until things start to break. 600px seems to be my sweet spot for breakpoints. That's where 99% of my stuff was made responsive for Itero, and that's where my hero broke this time around too. I really try to keep to a single breakpoint- this often means simplifying structures as soon as a view gets that narrow, even if nothing has broken. Having things change across the site at different widths is a great way to get a headache.

When I finish an overall view (like the index, or a topic with all it's posts, etc) I'll do a sweep of all the common elements like colors and swap them to vars. I try to keep these segmented sensibly so that once I make a different mode, it's just a matter of swapping a few of those and not having to go bit by bit through the site making sure every swap looks good. I'm one of the few, the insane, the blue light lovers who really prefers a light skin, but I know I'm in the minority so I basically view a dark mode as obligatory.

Also for the curious, this is what my board looked like for my first skin.

I was interested in different things here. I wanted to guesstimate how long I thought things would take me, so I assigned a size to them, right at the beginning before I'd ever messed around in jcink. I was right about most of it, overestimated a few things, didn't underestimate at all, I think. I also was on a crunch towards the end as I was seized by the rabid desire to actually open a site, so I sorted my 'tickets' by tiers of necessity and put a lot of the most interesting problems on hold. Do people need a memberlist, or fun scroll animations for a site to be functional? As much as I hate it, the answer is the memberlist. No one is going to touch my css because I'm not selling itero, so I never went through and cleaned up after myself. As much as I really want to make a rule for topic descriptions so I can scrape all the threads on my board and generate a full timeline of everything that happens, that's an unreasonable ask for members. Some day I may go back and do some of this (especially the scrolling stuff), but like. Itero works. If I do more it'll probably be to beautify it, not any real structural or even functional change. Also, on the Modernity kanban board, I've got a field for tracking time which I'm going to try to be diligent about. While I've been able to pull a good deal of stuff to make jcink behave from my first skin (no one cares about you, news banner), I'm starting from scratch on the structure of the rest of it, so it should be representative of how much time a skin actually takes, from nothing, which I think should be interesting. Anyway, that's way too much writing about how I'm organizing my work as I approach a new skin. I hope this was useful, or at the very least interesting, and if not, thanks for reading to the end anyway, lol.

#meta

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mymainwastoocluttered · 2 years

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Oh, yeah

I have many OCs for Twisted Wonderland, most being MC OCs (Yuus, if you will), and I like giving them, like, some crazy backstories for funsies for the most part.

Anyway, here's the newest one. Please bear with me, y'all said it was ok to share. Ugh, I'm so nervous, but I wanna y'all to see the pretty sim I wasted time making.

Her name is Meena. She's 17.

Her family moved to Isle of Sages when she was young. Her family makes a living by selling very high quality jewelry. Their secret? Meena's unique magic: Meena can turn anything she touches into gold of impressive quality. A touch of "All That Glitters" is all that's needed.

But that's not the most peculiar thing about Meena. Meena actually... remembers her past life! Yep, she is an isekai protagonist, fucking bite me. She remembers playing Twisted Wonderland in her original world, and was the one who suggested they move to Isle of Sages when her parents worried about people trying to go after her for her powers. She's been waiting for Yuu to arrive for so long so she can watch the story unfold with her own eyes. She's also determined to help Yuu since Crowley ain't gonna do it.

If you think she looks like she could kill a man, it's because she can, and she'll look great doing it. Despite remembering her past life, she is not like her past self. Meena is domineering and mostly self-serving, in her words "if the world wasn't made for me, it wishes it was". If she's not interested, she will not lift a finger. Morals? In this world, there's only what she caresa about enough to protect and what she cares about enough to destroy. Whatever else is none of her concern.

That said, she is fiercely protective of what and who she considers hers, and will not rest until she knows they are safe and whatever upset them is buried in the deepest trenches. Deep down she has compassion and empathy, but only for her people. The rest can choke.

She's also a huge flirt and a bit of a sadist and tends to be shameless. Azul couldn't sleep for a whole week after she told him what she could do with him if he kept bothering her with his deals. Jade and Floyd had so much fun teasing him.

She enters NRC after Yuu does by simply turning every single thing in Crowley's office into gold when he argues that as someone capable of using magic and a girl, she should be in a school already. That does include the walls and floor. There's an ugly hole under his chair where he tried to scrape some of the gold off, and he refuses to fill it with cement because she refuses to turn the cement into gold so the hole won't be noticeable.

I tried to keep her theme focused on the idea of sun and gold, she even has golden tattoos on her body (that, uh, the sims do not have, but imagine intricate swirls and suns). The name is Meena because it sounds nice, but I think it means "precious stone"? I could be wrong. But it's befitting for a jewel to be surrounded by gold, if I do say so myself.

Vil's favorite jewelry were all made by her family, some of them she designed herself. They're good friends when they're not bickering over who's more dazzling.

#devaneios de bellee #golden sultan #delete later cuz I'm too shy to keep this up for long

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flydotnet · 6 months

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Intimacy Is Scary (It Doesn't Have to Be, But I'm Stubborn)

WHUMPTOBER 2023, DAY 27: “You drew stars around my scars; But now I’m bleeding.” Matches | Scars | “Let me see”

Man, that "Non-Sexual Intimacy" tag is starting to rank up uses within this series. This is, what, the third time I'm using it? Fourth maybe?

I'm a simple girl: I love the trope of a character asking another about their scars and I! will! not! feel! bad! about! it! It's just too good to pass up and this time it's Funky Soccer Manga Rarepair Edition. This manga is prone to this kind of shit despite Urabe and Katagiri being the only characters to canonically have scars I can quote on top of my head (seriously, isn't it weird that, officially, Misugi doesn't have one on his chest, at least?), so I took advantage of that.

Despite the fact I had my idea of combining those two prompts specifically as soon as I thought about Day 27, I found myself stumped until this morning, mostly because I didn't want to write JunYayo or MatsuYoshi yet again. So instead I went for my like third most written CT ship lmfao, okay Fly, such variety.

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Intimacy Is Scary (It Doesn't Have to Be, But I'm Stubborn)

Summary: A quick check-up for a wound leads to a much more intimate conversation.

Fandom: Captain Tsubasa

Word Count: 1K words

AO3 version available here.

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In spite of everything about him that always leads to that sort of situations – his reckless style of playing, his intense training regimens, his refusal to ever slow down for anything and paying the price for it all – there’s one thing that’s become clear to Shun: he’ll never get over himself.

It’s not for lack of trying: he just hates being taken care of, he’s pretty sure. He hates the pity in people’s eyes when they look over his wounds and the concern in their voices when he has a fever and they know it just as well as he does. It makes his skin crawl and gives him the overpowering urge to leave the fuck out, never to be seen again, or something along those lines.

This used to just be an annoyance, most of the time; but now, it’s an actual issue. He doesn’t actually want to be like that, so reluctant to let himself get vulnerable even around people he trusts with his whole heart for anything else under the sun.

It’s biting him right now, since he has Kumi looking him over, or rather, trying to. They’ve been at this for the past few minutes and, now that he has to take his shirt off so she can check out if he’s scraped his shoulder or not, it’s raging an awful storm inside his mind.

“Let me see, please,” she tells him with the kindest voice that’s ever addressed to him.

Despite that, and how much he dislikes going against her, Shun remains hesitant. It still crawls under his skin.

“Do we have to?”

She doesn’t bulge, not even an iota.

“I’d feel better if I knew what exactly needs patching up.”

She makes such a compelling case – and it’s her too. The one he can actually call his girlfriend and it wouldn’t be anything close to a lie. That sucks so hard.

“Okay, okay…”

At long last, and after gulping down his ever-fluctuating pride and finally admitting to himself he can’t say no to her anymore, Shun decides to take off the damn thing and let her in at last. The pain that briefly burns even hotter as he does helps him stay grounded and, dare he say it, it may’ve softened the embarrassment that should be flowing freely inside his veins right about now (or maybe he’s finally getting over himself).

Kumi doesn’t wait a second longer before she takes out the first-aid kit on her lap and cleans out the scrape. It stings and itches, but it’s stop annoying him as much long, long ago. You do get used to it, after a while. In mere minutes, she has bandaged it without a single default and sat back inside her chair, proud smile on her face.

“Here we go, all done!” She announces, as peppy as ever.

“Thanks, it’s great!”

Right as he’s about to put on his shirt again, her eyes grow wider, and he stops midway there.

“What’s this one?” She asks, apparently mesmerized by the thing, if her wide-open eyes and how they sparkle is any indication.

He follows the direction of her fingertip, which lands on an old scar he forgot he had. It’s long, almost circling his shoulder, and clearly looks stitches – at least, it’s obvious to him, most likely because he knows he was under the knife for that one. It’s had the time to blanch out and regain some of his usual skin colour, so it’s not as ugly as it used to be (even if he’s unable to wear it as a badge of pride, unlike Urabe).

“I, uhm… I don’t remember it well, but I broke my shoulder when I was little. They had to screw stuff in place, I think.”

“Oh, that must’ve been a bad fracture, then.”

“I was apparently super annoying about being unable to use my arm. Also, I used to beep when passing through metal detectors, I can remember that. That was kinda funny, though.”

“As in?”

“I’d whine to go to sports class, even if it’d have been useless since I couldn’t use my damn arm.”

Kumi giggles.

“Then you don’t seem to have grown up this much!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” he tries to sound offended, but all he does is chuckle.

“You know what I mean! You’d still try to play soccer even without a foot – in fact, you’ve already tried playing with a sprained ankle, I remember that!” She calms down and points to another, this time much lower. “Oh, and this one?”

Shun has trouble remembering how he ended up with this one. It’s a smaller one over his ribs, far from the much cleaner, clinical one on his shoulder. He’s gotten injured enough time that he’s starting to lose track of which scar was made by what incident or how recent it actually is.

This one should be familiar, no? It’s on top of his ribs. Did he break a rib? Most certainly, he’s for sure bruised some multiple times, because running fast and loose means tripping on your laces. It’s awkward, though, how his own body confuses him, and especially now that someone is asking about it.

“I don’t really know,” he ends up admitting, not without a layer of shame. “It’s been a long time and I don’t know how it came here. Probably got it while playing around or something.”

“Oh, I see.” She does sound let down, which sucks ass. “It’s fine! You’re already really kind of replying to my questions.”

His cheeks feel a lot hotter.

“It’s no big deal,” he spits out.

He puts his shirt back on without adding any other world.

A vigorous volley of knocks at the door of the clubroom prompts them to both turn their heads around.

“Nitta! Manager! What are you two still doing in there?!”

Goddammit, that’s Ichijo.

“Coming, coming!” He yells out. “We should get outta here before they suspect something.”

She nods and gets up, giving him her hand – which he gleefully takes.

#whumptober 2023 #no.27 #scars #“let me see”#captain tsubasa #fic

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