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crystallizsch · 2 days

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thinking about jamil traveling alone for the first time but for some reason you’re still constantly on his mind

(i’ve been thinking about this and i just needed to get this out of my system and omg this was just supposed to be shorter but it ended up wayyy longer than intended)

(this is also an attempt at another x reader and it was proofread only by myself. some things might read awkward so go easy on me, i barely write 😔😔😔)

(kind of like a future au??? and can be read as romantic/(queer)platonic??)

Jamil had been planning this trip for months.

He had always wanted to travel to a new place by himself where he didn’t have to worry about anything or anyone else. Just himself and his own enjoyment.

Jamil planned on maximizing this whole trip. Reading everything about the place and making sure to see all the things that he would want to see while he was there.

However, you made sure to let him know that he should let himself loose and enjoy his trip naturally. It was supposed to be a fun, stress-free trip after all. Planning it out entirely defeats the purpose of that.

He needed to embrace a little bit of unexpectedness. You said it was “all part of the fun”. If he knew everything there was to expect, what would be the point in visiting?

Jamil saw what you were saying and admitted defeat. He gave you the benefit of the doubt and decided to have flexible and “loose” plans, as you suggested.

Meanwhile, Kalim had already thrown a whole “goodbye” party for him. Thank goodness that Kalim had gradually learned over the years to be more aware of Jamil’s wishes. They simply compromised on a small and humble party (even though Jamil would have preferred not to have one in the first place).

You came with Jamil to drop him off at the station where he was heading. You both exchanged your usual banter, and you wished him safe travels and for him to have fun especially.

You thought you imagined it, but before he was about to leave, he looked like he was about to say something else. And he definitely was about to. You'd never know what it was though.

Instead, Jamil simply bid you farewell.

As Jamil was walking away, you playfully shouted after him to not forget about you. It was only a joke (for the most part).

Jamil didn’t look back, but you know he rolled his eyes in exasperation. And he certainly did, which was followed by a soft smile on his face that you wouldn't get to see.

━━━━━━✦

Once he reached his destination, Jamil took in the new sights. He breathed in fresh air, his chest feeling lighter and more relaxed.

It felt wonderful that, in this place, he was just another face in the crowd. Nobody knows him. And he knows nobody. Everything was new and unfamiliar and he reveled in that feeling. You were right, it was better to experience these things firsthand as being there felt like a fresh start. Even though he knew that this anonymity would only be temporary.

One of the first things Jamil made sure was to keep his phone out of the equation. He needed to experience everything naturally without having the need to document what he saw as well as the stress of other people contacting him.

Jamil might have partially failed on the latter. He had to have his phone open for emergencies for certain people. Unfortunately, some worries and responsibilities can’t really fully leave him.

━━━━━━✦

Jamil first visited an antique clothing store. It was a charming and unique place filled with different kinds of wear, displays of jewelry and trinkets, and of course, the touristy souvenirs. Those were noticeably out of place, but it was to be expected.

Having experience and knowledge about his own job of being aware of what is around Scalding Sands, Jamil was delighted to know that the majority of the products in this store, at least, seemed to be of genuine quality.

Jamil may have to come back to this place. He thought you would really like that little trinket he saw through the window.

As Jamil strolled through, he was surrounded by a vibrant mix of sounds and colors adorning the streets. Individuals, families, tourists, and locals bustled about. There were even street entertainers as well as vendors who tried to sell him their wares, which was always amusing to say the least.

A catchy melody caught Jamil's attention, and he spotted a breakdancer performing on the street. He thought to himself that he might try out the routine for fun, and he'd ask what you would think. You'd enjoy the performance too, wouldn't you?

Jamil was exploring when he unexpectedly stumbled upon some festivities. It appeared to be the festival he had read about that he hadn't planned on participating in until later. Since he stumbled upon it now, he figured he might as well just check it out.

As Jamil looked around, he noticed a dance circle filled with people of all ages. Friends, families, and couples were all dancing together. He felt compelled to join in. It was as if the lively music and the enchanting atmosphere were inviting him personally, and he found himself dancing amongst the people.

The band played with much fervor, and the people were equally as energetic. Jamil was having fun. He caught himself laughing despite himself, his body swaying to the beat and in sync with the other dancers.

No one was here to judge him. No one to evaluate his front, or tell him to keep up an image. Jamil could easily just be himself. And after everything, he could easily choose to fade back into the background.

As soon as the energy died down for him, he looked back at the crowd. It still held the same energy when he went in, but he was personally spent.

Jamil wondered. If you were there, he might have enjoyed it more with you. That thought slipped through his mind, and immediately went away as it came.

The following days were a bit more mellow but still enriching. Jamil wanted to build up to an exciting finish but it seemed like the enjoyment peaked within the first few days.

The cuisine being served there was particularly fascinating. Jamil entered a restaurant, the aroma of delicious food enticing him in. He ordered dishes at a surprisingly decent price for the amazing quality they were being served. Seeing the way the dishes looked reminded him of how he had been getting better at making his own dishes more presentable. It still wasn't perfect; he could still learn more. He could actually take some inspiration from these dishes.

Jamil planned on researching more of the local cuisine once he returned. Then, he could try some rendition of his own and see what you think, as well as hoping that he could do these dishes justice.

━━━━━━✦

This isn't good.

Jamil felt... lonely?

He shouldn’t be feeling this way. What happened to enjoying this trip by himself?

Against everything Jamil told himself not to, he opened his phone and checked his messages, the majority of which were from people who inquired about his trip. This simply soured his mood. If Jamil had his phone ringing for them, he wouldn't have had a break. Why did he even open up his phone for this?

Oh, he knew why.

Your name specifically caught his eye with a preview of your message. He decided to open it up and he saw texts from you telling him to be safe and to have fun, which were basically the same things that you both exchanged when he left.

In the most recent text, you jokingly asked for him to send pictures, fully expecting that he wouldn’t. Admittedly, you were wondering what he was up to. You had really wanted to come with him but knew he really needed his trip for himself.

You felt a bit selfish sending that text because you knew Jamil shouldn't really be worrying about updating you or anyone else about what he was up to.

You didn't know that as soon as Jamil read that message, he briefly considered humoring you. He thought that perhaps he could take only a few photos here and there just to satisfy you. And then explain what else he had seen and experienced so far.

Jamil started to draft a message to send to you. He’s sure that you’d enjoy hearing all about it, plus it’ll be nice to have someone to share this experience with—

He paused at the thought. He saw that typed all he wanted to share at the moment, his finger hovering over the send button.

Wait a minute. No, no. What was he doing? Jamil quickly erased everything he typed out and shoved his phone back in his bag.

This experience was for him and himself only, at least for now. You’ll just have to wait once he returns from his trip.

━━━━━━✦

If Jamil was to be honest with himself, he had actually initially planned this whole trip with you in mind.

Throughout those months of planning, there was never a moment when he wasn't going back and forth with himself whether or not to include you in the trip.

You didn't know about this, of course. If he did manage to plan this whole trip with both of you, it would have been a surprise leading up to it.

But you yourself drilled into him how wonderful it was that he was finally able to go on a trip by himself. This was his very first opportunity to travel by himself and he doesn't know how long he will have that opportunity again. Perhaps it was your sentiments that finally convinced him that this trip was supposed to be for himself alone.

But deep in his heart, Jamil still felt something missing. He felt some kind of regret and longing that now he could not shake off.

As Jamil brooded to himself, he found himself standing in front of the antique store again. Once again, Jamil caught a glimpse of the trinket he had been eyeing the very first day he had been there.

━━━━━━✦

When you told him to not forget about you, you didn’t mean for him to take it so literally.

Jamil shrugged at the call-out, attempting to look unbothered. He had souvenirs for his family too, so it wasn’t like you were the only person he had on his mind.

But you just know he was embarrassed knowing that most of the souvenirs were meant for you. It was funny but really sweet. You assured him that you’d just return the favor next time.

Jamil really didn’t need you to, but perhaps it’ll also be payback enough for you occupying his mind while he was supposed to be away focusing on himself.

Maybe next time it'll be easier if Jamil would just bring you along.

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cpericardium · 1 day

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So! I've gotten a host of messages and asks regarding recent disk horse and I wanted to address them as a collective. I know I have anon asks off, I won't share your URLs, but I do want to thank you for asking and clarifying some of the frankly vile things people have been saying about me, my girlfriend, and friends. I value those of you who offered your words of support, and didn't jump to believe screenshots taken out of context and lies written with the utmost confidence and none of the facts. I am a little tired of having my morals questioned and my views conflated with every single person I associate with, but there it goes. Some questions and answers under the cut. Feel free to continue asking and I'll do my best to answer.

tumblr user cpericardium suspiciously silent on the subject of Gaza: does this mean you support ethnic cleansing???

My reticence when it comes to posting about topics like I/P is because:

-This is a fandom blog intended for lighter topics, except maybe the occasional vent about life stuff, which I usually hide under a cut. I don't have sideblogs. They seem tough to maintain and I don't post nearly enough to justify it. If I were to make one it would be for another fandom or maybe just the freakier bugs. I simply prefer my social media experience to be stress-free.

-Anti-slacktivism. It's a documented thing: posting about an issue makes you feel like you're doing something, you get that little shot of dopamine, so you don't actually go out and do something that effects meaningful change. I'm trying to do less of that. I'm good with the friends and people I follow who choose to post about it and this is a strictly personal belief, but when I engage in activism, it is offline or it is a donation. You're not going to hear about it. But don't you reblog lgbt and women's rights posts? Yeah, and that's usually when I want to save a post for one reason or another (e.g. to talk about with someone on discord later). The bottom line is that the main purpose of my blog is not to post political takes or to spread awareness of anything. It is just a collection of my interests (fan stuff, bugs) and hopefully a way to share those interests with like-minded people.

I will state my views clearly for the record: I support Palestine. The ongoing genocide is heartbreaking and so is the violence against protestors. Additionally, I am against antisemitism and the harassment of Jewish people in the name of supporting Palestine. This shouldn't even need to be said. Is your girlfriend a Zionist?

No.

Does she support Zionists?

No.

Wasn't she in the military?

Yes, years ago.

But the military is evil?

It is. She's extremely hardcore anti-war, does not believe the US should even have an army, and actively PMs strangers on reddit to try to convince them to not make the same mistake. If they're dead set anyway, she gives them detailed advice on how to survive. Because she actually cares about the human cost of war, not the social clout gained from shunning or sneering at people who make wrongheaded choices. I have seen her doing this, seen her seeking to understand their reasons for joining so she can systematically explain—from personal experience!—why they're not going to get any of that out of the army. It is a hell of a lot more effective than bitching them out or writing callout posts or starting whisper campaigns about them. She cannot delete those years of her life no matter how much she regrets them. There is only forward. I think we can all agree on that.

But what about all those things she said. "I regret nothing, I have no qualms, VA nipple money etc."

Well you have to understand that while of generally upright character, she is a bit of a scamp. She believes she fundamentally should not have to explain herself to randos who do not know her, who have never, not once, interacted with her, who are clearly digging for dirt and will twist anything she says no matter how banal. People see what they want to see and they look for evidence to reinforce their preconceptions; they'll go so far as to make alts to join servers, cherry-pick screencaps, crop them, and conveniently fill in the rest of the narrative for curious onlookers. So she decided to exaggerate and amplify and twirl her mustache like a supervillain. Give them a show, as it were.

To be clear, I'm not sold on this strat because it makes her look cartoonishly evil to people who can't understand sarcasm and hyperbole. But her friends and I are aware of her actual beliefs and also that she did not in fact do those things people imagine she did. And isn't that what matters? Real-life harm? Do you even care? Re: screenshots She addresses them here.

#politics #if you're not from wormblr #nothin to see here just scroll past

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readychilledwine · 1 day

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Do you think each court has their own winged fae? I read Home to Me and can't stop thinking of it.

Absolutely

The Winged Fae of Prythian Headcanons

Warnings - references to wing sensitivity in all ways, long post, sad back stories

A/n - poll at the end for giggles

Dawn - The Peregryn

Similar to the Illyrians, Peregryns are a warrior breed of winged fae

Liz personally pictured hawk to falcon like wings

Their wings allow them to be agile and very fast due to how narrow they are in comparison to Illyrian wings

Their wings are sensitive like Illyrians, but due to the protection the feathers provide, you have to be a little rougher for the same reactions.

Their wings are considered very sacred.

If you were to court a Peregryn male, if they intend to marry you, they will pluck one of their feathers, causing them pain, and offer it to you. Mainly, females will weave that feather in their hair, carrying a piece of their husband at all times.

Peregryn females offer similar tokens to their loves. Males will turn them to writing quills, signing important documents as if their wife is right beside them.

Day - The Celestine

The Celestine are a thought to be an extinct race. They were hunted down by Amarantha's forces.

She did not stop until every last one she knew of was wiped from the court, a cold and calculated move she knew hurt Helion and his father

The Celestine got their name from their wings. Feathers of pure white that glitter gold in the Day Court sunlight. They were thought to be celestial bodies until one of the former Lords of Day finally approached one and realized they were fae

They were a breed of scholars, specifically studying the pegasus. Before Amarantha's attack, you would commonly see them flying with the majestic horses and handling their care.

There are a handful left that warded themselves with the remaining pegasi. The race is slowly rebuilding, but like all fae, pregnancy is rare.

Helion has kept them secret, finding them much to valuable to his court to risk someone getting the same idea.

The Celestine do not have wing sensitivity the way Illyrians and Peregryn do. Their feathers are rather thick.

They do still use their wings as a courting symbol. They will turn a few feather into a clip for their partner's hair. The clips are traditional gold with gems.

Night - The Illyrians

Arguably the most powerful of the Winged fae, the Illyrians reside in the mountains of the Night Court

They are a race of warriors with strong bat like wings.

Due to their wings being so exposed, they are highly sensitive. You could gently run the back of your finger along the ridge and bring a grown male to his knees.

Wings are not used for courting purposes to illyrians, but they are seen as sacred. To touch an illyrian's wings is a great privilege.

Female wings are typically larger than male wings. Hince why they are clipped during a female's first cycle. It makes them non functional and stops them from overshadowing the males.

Autumn - The Leaf Folk

The Leaf Folk race is truly extinct. The Autumn Lords hunted them down like it was a sport for their unique wings.

Their wings were seen as treasures to the people of Autumn due to them being so similar to the leaves of the forest, thus making them a desired object for mating presents and a sign of wealth

They were peaceful fae. Their sole purpose was maintaining the apple trees, ensuring each and every single one was perfect and producing ripe fruits.

Their wings make crinkling noises like autumn leaves as well, giving them camouflage and protection.

Little is known regarding their courting traditions, but it is known they rarely bred or married outside of their own kind

Beron had met one. A female. It was during his youth, before he had been fully corrupted by his father. He learned firsthand how sensitive their wings were.

Just a breath could make this fae putty.

Since the last female was found, her wings now splayed in the Autumn Court throne room long after her death, there's rot settling into the court.

It started in the orchard furthest from the Forest House and has slowly spread.

The last female had whispered something in a tongue no one understood. Centuries later, Eris discovered it was a curse. One that would end when the love of the last female met his death.

Summer - The Stormmakers

The pride of the summer court.

Rich deep grey wings that spark with lightning, the Stormmakers can change the weather with just a breath of magic.

Their wings blend perfectly into storm clouds, their favorite place to play.

Touching their wings is dangerous. They carry lightning in every feather. It can make for an exciting experience if you are into that type of play, though.

They typically do not feel the touch on their wings due to the numbness the constant sparking caused

They are a thriving race, and most are found in their small community they have carved out in a cave.

Courting is not a thing amoung this race. They marry young based on deals made by their parents to ensure a strong bloodline

Spring - Flower Folk

The flower folk are treasures to the Spring Court.

Their wings come in a variety of colors, shapes, and styles, but they are all consistently irredescent and translucent.

They are very peaceful and almost always unseen. Their magic allows them to change their sizes, and most choose to live in fae gardens and houses set up by children in Spring.

They work with pollinators to keep the flowers and fruits growing and producing.

Their wings break very easily due to how thin they are. They do not partake in wing play with just anyone for that reason.

These fae learned to communicate with bees, so it is very common to see them dancing, little pieces of sparkling fae dust coming off them as they do

These are the fae humans warn their children most about, the playful pixies who will lead them into dangerous fae traps.

These fae offer each other butterflies as a courting gift. To exchange a butterfly with them is to accept their offer of marriage due to how sacred they see their winged friends.

Winter - Ice Spirits

Rarely seen and very deadly

These fae have been known to freeze others for discovering their hide outs.

They were once believed to be myth, a nightmare mother's warned their faelings about.

One was dragged to Kallias's father by her hair, and that bond snapping led to one of winter's most well-kept secrets.

They want to be left alone. Do you know how hard it is to maintain winter over four courts?

Their wings look soft, but they are actually made of snow and ice. You can't melt them, though, don't worry.

They hold a soft spot of their Lord and Lady, always willing to take a load off his shoulders and rebuild broken ice dams.

Rhys once approached them asking for more snow fall in Velaris. Mistake. Huge. Mistake.

These fae are well known for their ice sports, but be prepared to watch from a distance

They tried to teach Kal how to ice skate once, he is too muscular to be graceful on the ice and had to instead settle for what they call "hockey." The High Lord has received a few black eyes during his time playing.

These fae also tend to only marry within their own kind.

They purpose with a snowflake they hand crafted. The more intricate the pattern, the longer your love took to craft it for you.

Their wings are always numbed due to how cold they are, but they absolutely love temperature play. Warmth is such a rare thing for them to feel, and it makes their wings very sensitive.

#elizabeths.updates #send asks #send anons #acotar #acotar headcanons

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captainmvf · 5 months

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Posting this here too:

From my understanding, these seem to be the ‘White Whales’ of Fossil Fighters media to collect and document:

concept art (Dinurians are the most sought after)

physical copies of the mangas

store displays

*I am not interested in buying any of this.

**If anyone knows any other lost or rarely documented forms of media for the game series please feel free to list them here! I’d love to learn.

#mvf talks #originally posted onto twitter #fossil fighters #this is all just for documentation purposes #i have seen some pictures of store displays (mainly props) via here so thank you for sharing!!#and yeah i'm not interested in buying this stuff (though i really really really wanna)... i am not made of money 😭😔#BUT ALSO: anything new or unseen would be nice to see/hear! thank you!!

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pulsingvoid · 2 months

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weird gay existential heartfelt genderfucky double feature at my place tonight. everyone come over. i love you

#MOVIES THAT MAKE YOU LOVE THE WORLD AGAIN #swiss army man #biosphere #mel eslyn #daniels #mark duplass #sterling k brown #paul dano #daniel radcliffe #these tags arent even for documentation purposes im just enjoying putting their names together. they should all hang out

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f1-stuff · 1 year

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Australian GP '23 // P12 Finish

"No, sorry I- right now, I cannot talk. I'm too angry, too disappointed, too....ah, I just cannot say anything. I prefer to go to the stewards and get the penalty away because I don't think I deserve it..."

#he like could barely make eye contact #never seen him like that #sorry to dredge all this up for people who've moved on lol #just gotta gif this if for no other reason than documentation purposes #carlos sainz #Australian GP '23 #2023 #gifs #mine #formula one #f1 #ferrari

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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months

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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz #ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and #then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific #cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or #etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as #you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on #accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have #as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence #of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate #versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a #neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest #ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling #and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for #documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like #sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I #can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If #I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my #ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be #accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor #focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it #were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan #that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is #some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my #kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means #i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m #in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in #one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability #& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER

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dark-side-blog3 · 6 months

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mm sometimes i think my yanderes would take advantage of the fact that I cant do some of the things most people can do with ease like tying their shoes or telling the difference between left and right, or the way i absorb info just to force me into being a baby. Mommy kakyoin would coax me into his lap after heavily drugging me, so I just happily melt into his embrace as he asks me what sound a puppy makes only to be met with a soft whimper of me trying to speak.. or diavolo making me do kindergarten level math in the playpen he keeps in his office for me. -📱

I've been having some trouble with doing tasks most people can do, so it is fun to think about different yanderes making you do baby-level math worksheets, or French vocab sheets and crosswords meant for little kids. Or having those grid papers to write Cantonese and Mandarin, or in your case with mommy Kakyoin, katakana. Why bother teaching you kanji or hiragana? You'll only be confused. And hiragana is more commonly used-- he doesn't need you knowing what common signs and objects actually say. Then you won't feel as lost, should you manage to slip away from his hands for a moment.

Diavolo knows worksheets aren't any fun-- he'd give everything to not have to do them, and still know the people he cares about would be okay. So instead of a little duotang with worksheets for your math, linguistics, or animal noises, Diavolo tries to set up little activities for you to do every day. Little trays with a number of the day, clay in one dish so you can draw the number yourself, roll it on a die, and count it out of marbles. Calling an animal handler to show you the different birds and bugs of the devildom in the throne room (and saving trips to the royal zoo for weeks you've been extra good!).

#I'm wondering what would be more advantageous (by which I mean less helpful) to teach someone in japanese? Katakana? Hiragana? Kanji?#they're ALL used #but some are more grown up than a little kid that still needs Kakyoin for everything #Most old documents are written in katakana. You'd sound so old. Like a little kid that still says “gee willikers batman”#but granted you'd typically mix katakana and hiragana AND kanji in a sentence and coversation #so if he really wanted to nerf you he would only teach you how to spell one way #Kanji is hard to learn (in my opinion just reading this) but if you learn 1000 words you can just suss out what most things say #oh don't get me started on the SLANG #man what a high pressure environment to learn a language... Kak is also such a menace if you lash out or get frustrated #man DEF teaches you the wrong words for things on purpose.#cellphone anon #anon confession #yandere agere #yandere daddy diavolo #yandere mommy kakyoin

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possessable · 19 days

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i think i've been working on espial for so long that i've gotten Used To The Story and it doesn't feel like that ambitious of a project anymore so i'm just like "man this isn't even anything, i should make it more expansive and elaborate" DO NOT

#espialposting #3 years isn't really that long to work on a story actually but it is To Me [<- has never stuck with a project for any amount of time #longer than a month or two prior to making espial]#i have to go reread the entire story summary document so i can remember the cool things that happen. for Motivation purposes #i unlisted all of my YouTube vidfeos to see if having an empty channel would light a fire under my ass to actually do something #currently am trying to animate the season intros [they're just glorified tdh amvs]

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turtletoria · 3 months

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I was debating just ignoring this message because it's stupid and inconsiderate as hell but im just going to use this as an opportunity to talk to you all about this, especially if you also think this way since i dont think this is even an uncommon line of thought (as ghoulish as it sounds 5 months into this genocide. where have these people been???).

I believe that if you see injustice you should try to do something, anything, about it, especially something so harrowing and horrific as a genocide that is currently decimating said country a "world away." it is our responsibility as humans to care about other humans. and apparently millions and millions of other people agree, just from opening tumblr or instagram or twitter and seeing supportive posts and calls to action, or looking at the brave people going to rallies and protests and disrupting life as usual, seeing people come together to mass email and call representatives so that these government workers can get off their asses and do something. recently chicago has become the biggest city to call for a ceasefire. This is a really big deal.

and also if "your country" means the US, then I feel like this "territorial dispute" (what a crass and disgusting way to refer to an ethnic cleansing that goes way beyond just fighting over territory) is definitely relevant to USians, especially taxpayers. the US, the UK, Canada, the imperial powers of the West are aiding and abetting this genocide through their citizens' tax dollars. despite their frustrating and infuriating inaction, even an important institution as the ICJ has acknowledged that genocide committed by israel is plausible - its on the record now. how horrible then, that MY and millions of others' tax dollars are being taken and used against our will for something so depraved and evil as this - it's all the more reason that all these problems are connected and those in the West have a responsibility to redirect where their money goes - i and everyone else that lives and works and pays taxes in the West have a stake in this and an even bigger moral imperative to do something, anything. moreover these imperial powers, most notably the US, have a history of colonization and subjugation of the global south, often using military power not for the benefit of their citizens but more so for consolidating and maintaining global hegemony - just look at the korean war, the vietnam war, CIA involvement in cuba, etc. etc. etc.

and in this way the US' problems, like anon's mention of enslaved labor, are interconnected with Palestinian liberation -> Palestine is a country struggling for statehood against a colonial power. Land back for Palestinians translates to Land Back for Native Americans and indigenous peoples. A common slogan that I saw in posters was "Nobody is free until we are all free." And this is true! Also it's possible to care about multiple things at once, by the way! just a thought! you don't have to give up everything just because you can't solve or do everything! i get it, it can be overwhelming since it seems the world is ending everyday everywhere. but you have to take a breath and do what you think is right. and sometimes that means focusing your energy on things that are pressing and important, and would make the biggest impact (that one is able to make) for helping people in the here and now. its not "handwringing," it's a reminder of our responsibility to humanity.

#ask #anon #also to the other anon 1) im not doing that and 2) use your critical thinking skills i believe in you <3 sorry this isnt helpful but the-#thing you sent me asking me to review (??) just looks like typical internet bullshit just look up a news article from al-jazeera or -#research the history and purpose of unrwa yourself. learn to differentiate from stupid shit and stuff that is more worth your time-#instead of asking an artist (and also a non-palestinian for the record) for their useless opinion.#look into trusted sources like the news site al-jazeera or palestinians in gaza who are-#documenting and sharing for the world like @wizard_bisan1 (instagram) or motaz azaiza-#dont rely on youtubers who dont seem to be personally involved and also just looking into the comments seem to be islamophobic as all hell-#so uh. not a good look for the integrity of that video as a trustworthy source. use critical thinking ok

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natsmagi · 5 months

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Do you ever feel bad about your art? I've tried drawing before, but it never looked good so I just quit

OUGH SOMETIMES TBH....... though id kinda say thats part of the drawing process 💔💔

for me theres two types of "feeling bad" abt my art; the first being more imposter syndrome-y where i just kinda feel guilty over the amount of recognition i get when theres so many artists that i think are better and deserve it more than i do and other things along that line

the second one (and probably more universal) is, ofc, the feeling that ur art kinda sucks sometimes. honestly its very rare for a drawing to turn out the way i had originally envisioned because i simply do not have the skills to pull it off, which sucks!! and honestly, alot of the time i just try pushing through despite me hating the way the drawing looks. usually ill still post it even if i hate it, because in a way i think its kinda important to let myself be bad at art, and my blog was never meant to be used as a portfolio anyway, so why not post the things im less proud of aswell? especially since the communities im part of are rather niche, and i feel as though even if the quality is bad, someone might still be happy to see it!

so i let myself not be perfect with my art, as i feel being stuck on the same piece is only going to stagnate my growth and make me frustrated. not to mention the drawing usually only ends up looking Worse the more i try to fix it, and me posting a drawing is basically me putting a full stop to working on the drawing, forcing me to move on to something else and try again

art doesnt always look good!! and it most DEFINITELY is never perfect, but i also kinda find beauty in that yknow?? especially when uve been drawing for a while, its always fun to look back and see ur progress! its fun to see ur missteps and how u managed to improve! ive mentioned it before, but the sole reason i even created this account was so that i Would improve my art. i didnt really have much going on so i thought id genuinely try my hands at art again, which i had grown less passionate about the years prior. this blog is me sharing what ive created, no matter how amateurish it is, no matter my ups and downs, because i believe that will help me grow in the end! ive posted numerous attempts at various styles (moreso rendering styles) to see what i think suits me and what i find most pleasure in, aswell as my art style in general being rather stylized (the simplistic faces for example), figuring out what ways of drawing made me happy and what didnt through trial and error!

the first step is always the hardest, but its better than no step at all! so if you wanna draw, just go for it! its ok for it to look bad! keep trying various styles and methods until you find one that makes you happy!! its ok to be inconsistent!!

#having ur art journey documented online is all fun and games until u remember ur old ugly as fuck art is still available for everyone to see #But u dont have the heart to delete them because that would ruin the purpose of why i started doing this to begin with #so i just gotta SUCK IT UP.#ITS OK TO BE BAD!!!!! WE ALL SUCK SOMETIMES!!!!!!!!! ITS OK!!!!!!!!!!#ask #no matter the quality all art is valuable............. this is what i believe

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