#this is private but considering no one can decipher what im saying even when i purposely try to talk in a way that appeals to others

[craycraybluejay]

I know I am a sick person all over because everything always hurts and somehow I'm in love with the horror of protecting you. And the eternal wish that there is something as wrong with you as there is with me. For you to hurt me for every time I failed to protect you. For you to enjoy my hurt as I would yours. To smile at me like I am the only person in the entire world even as I fade to nothing. To put small fingers inside my throat and scratch it like an illness. Like swallowing glass. And laugh the whole way through as I struggle through blood to laugh with you. The desire to burn my sickness into you if by some miracle you are different, if by some cruel blessing I am really the only one like me. To bury you alive inside my love so that no matter what it will remain past the death of the sun. It's quiet and then it's loud. Something wrong with me. No one at all knows. I make myself sicker with my fixations. I am not capable of making any of it stop. Only of tucking myself away in a small dark corner like a diseased secret. Maybe I put too much value to things, even those that are altogether inconsequential. Too much romance and sentimentality to things that simply Are. All of the cosmos is unfeeling chaos, all of the humans are feeling order, I inherit the worst of both. Everything feels like a strange, heavy nightmare. Time is fast and slow. The sensation is of a subconscious eternally screaming for me to WAKE UP, that my head is hot enough to explode and my body is wasting away-- except there is nothing else to wake up to. Life is story after story and moments of thrilling clarity. And you.

I crave so badly to earnestly write you as a freakshow. I want to grab you and run you-- all clinging to my back and bothering me with questions of what all this is-- right into my world. Hold you out above the mountain like the Lion King and thank the stars for your existence. Initiate you into a madness that is mine, and only mine. Watch you turn in my time into a being in my space. But I know in truth it's a game of burdensome waiting. That I have to play my role forever if I must and simply wait for you to wander here. That in order to hold and cherish you in both my world and this other one I must wait for you to slither up my brainstem yourself-- as a being and not a thought. To leap into my arms a billion times until the atoms do something truly bizarre. I don't allow my hands on your wheel, but I enjoy sitting there and watching as we crash into trees and fly headlong off cliffs. It is more fun than smooth sailing. More real. You manage to shock me when nothing truly phases me anymore. Reach me in a place where I am all alone. I can't push you I can't pull you I can't weave your stories together with mine alone but I will happily take your hand and lead you through the beautiful surrealities when you offer yours first.

#waxing poetic #journal #delete later #this is private but considering no one can decipher what im saying even when i purposely try to talk in a way that appeals to others #which im not doing here because this is for me and mine #im not particularly worried #even the people i love could not understand a word of this in its context the way it is meant to me #it is like i am in an infinite thick mud behind thicker glass and nothing can see me or touch me #my writing #an exercise in honesty #i will read these silly little notes to you if and when you are ready for them-- sing them even #and if not. well. i will stay loyal and content beside you until i die and after too #i want a will where you keep me on your skin. a necklace or a piercing or even under your skin #press me into something you'd like to keep and wear me until you too return to stardust #and promise me you'll never take me off. not when you shower or sleep or get married or die. #promise me i will remain with you until our remains end together. if not i'll haunt your stupid ass

[rumours-spiral]

for five more minutes

part 3- can barely stand on my feet

note: again, feedback is welcomed! i struggled with the pacing on this one (as i’m sure is obvious) but im still pretty new with writing so i tried my best. im pretty excited to write part 4, so expect it in a couple days. and please know that im not super happy with writing about lucy and toby like this, but there shouldnt be to much of them from now on <3

word count: around 1,700

 warnings: none (there is a very tiny hint to a panic attack however)

Apparently, coming back to life (although having been technically asleep for five-hundred years prior) tired one out. It was something that Toby and Lucy had relearned, having somehow forgotten it from the nightmare that was taking care of the ladies-in-waiting.

 Most of the time they were in the flat was spent with them in the rooms that their respective queens slept in (Katherine, Lucy, and Parr, Toby). They were always there when their queen woke up, ready to give food and water and to answer questions they deemed the queen was prepared enough to hear the answers to. They seemed to be having opposite problems in the question regard, actually- Catherine spent every waking moment asking frightening queries, and Katherine hardly spoke.

Lucy was alright with Howard not speaking. She and Toby had both done plenty of research on the wives anyway, and had done even more when it turned out that they would be caring for them. So she understood why Howard wasn’t leaping at the chance to speak, and, rather, why she didn’t particularly want any answers. She would talk softly to Katherine- only for a few moments a day, not wanting to overwhelm but not wanting her to feel lonely. Other than that, their time would be spent reading their respective media, Lucy pretending that she didn’t see the frightening band of scar tissue around the bed-ridden girl’s throat and Katherine pretending she didn’t wish she had never woken back up.

In fact, Katherine had perhaps uttered four sentences in all to Lucy. A question regarding the bathroom, a stuttered request for a book, and (most recently) a mumbled “thank you” for nothing in particular. Lucy knew what it meant, and she had replied with only a smile.

The fourth wasn’t really a sentence so much as it was an excited gasp when Lucy played music (ironically, Greensleeves) for her through her phone. It was the first and only time she had seen her smile. Katherine didn’t recognise the song and- if she did- didn’t comment on it, too excited to hear music again and to see how easily it could be listened to now.

And Toby found himself answering Catherine Parr’s question of “where is my daughter?” three days after it was first asked. He saw her growing more frustrated and upset with him for constantly dodging it as her fever subsided. He deemed her fully recovered on the day he gave her the answer.

He would never forget the way her face had contorted when he told her that Mary hadn’t been brought back to life. How her head slumped when he said they knew nothing of her daughter’s life, how they only knew the family who had looked after her. Shaking hands had covered her tears as she breathed a request for him to leave the room, and tears had welled in his own eyes at the sobs he could hear over the living room’s television.

It had been a week in all since the day their eyes had opened. Lucy and Toby had been keeping in close contact with the ladies in waiting. The woman’s head was bowed to read a message from Maria when Toby spoke from the other side of the couch.

“I think that they should meet each other.”

Lucy looked up, raising an eyebrow at him. He said nothing and raised his own eyebrow mockingly, making Lucy snort and return her eyes back to her phone. She typed out a quick reply to Maria and returned to Toby’s statement with a pensive look.

“Actually… yeah, I think they should,”

Both of his brows lifted halfway to his hairline, this time not a joke, as he checked his friend’s face for sincerity. He had expected some resistance.

“I’m not joking. Maria’s taking Aragon back to her flat; she said she’s ready to meet a few of them. Two other ladies say their queens are ready. Might as well introduce these two to each other, too.” She waved her phone at the mention of Maria.

Toby chewed on that for a minute.

“Is Howard able to walk?”

“Yeah. Her pain is pretty much gone, now. It’s just a matter of convincing her to leave the room.”

They ultimately decided on discussing this meeting with the two queens, texting each other the verdict and (if everyone agreed) bringing them to the kitchen table. They parted for their rooms.

Admittedly, Lucy felt nervous at speaking with Howard about this. She had mentioned briefly that Parr lived under the same roof, but Katherine never showed any particular emotion in response to this except for surprise. Not happiness, not relief- just surprise. She reflected on this as she approached the door, knocking before entering. She peeked her head inside to check Katherine was okay. She had walked in on the girl crying and shaking many times, and learned that it was best to just leave her alone.

But she was instead sitting up, a book in her lap with its place kept by a hand, reading forgone in favour of looking at Lucy. She entered the room and pulled an office chair to a few feet away from Katherine’s bed before sitting in it. Katherine didn’t flinch away when she sat this close anymore, and Lucy allowed herself a private smile at the progress.

Katherine looked at her, intrigued, clearly sensing the woman’s nerves.

“You know that Catherine Parr is in this flat as well as you, yes?”

A nod.

“Toby and I thought that you two should meet today. Would you be alright with that?”

A pause.

Katherine’s brow furrowed as she considered this. Parr had done her no harm. She had only met her on the few occasions she had visited her and Henry’s court, and seemed kind enough. She had had nothing to do with her downfall. Perhaps it would be nice to meet her again.

Katherine nodded, and Lucy let out a relieved breath.

“Good. Would you be alright with walking with me to the kitchen?”

Katherine’s eyes widened at the prospect of leaving the room. She had to remind herself that this wasn’t a palace or a manor house- the kitchens would be a very short distance from the sleeping apartments. Fear flared in her chest anyway, at something she couldn’t place, but she nodded, not wanting to displease Lucy. She was awarded with a big smile as the woman pulled out her phone.

Toby received Lucy’s text of confirmation just as he watched Catherine finish the last of the water he’d brought her.

“Are you up for meeting Katherine Howard?”

Parr choked on her drink at the bluntness of it, but got over her tiny coughing fit quickly. She gave Toby a sceptical look as she thought over everything she knew of Katherine, and when they had met. They probably spent a total of five minutes directly interacting (most of it just pleasantries), but they got along well enough. She shrugged, asking,

“When?”

“Now,” he said, looking back at the text. “Katherine’s okay with it. We were gonna take you two to the kitchen table and let you talk.”

Well- it wasn’t like she had anything else to do. Parr nodded, agreeing to all of it, and watched Toby type on his phone for a moment. She would have to ask to use one of them one day.

He helped her to stand as he talked, her muscles stiff and achy from little use.

“Don’t be loud, or try to touch her,” he recalled Lucy’s telling of how Katherine had trembled when their hands accidentally touched with a wince. Catherine gave an acknowledging hum.

“Don’t talk about Henry, or anything to do with her death. In fact, don’t talk about men.” Catherine gave another hum, this time sounding the tiniest bit amused.

“I understand that one.” She muttered as they walked out of the door, her hand holding onto Toby’s offered arm for support. She had been in the kitchen a couple times before. After learning of what became of her daughter, Toby had brought her to watch (and even help) make dinner and other meals as a distraction. Apparently, Katherine hadn’t, as she looked about the small room in awe.

Toby cleared his throat softly to signal their arrival and the light in Katherine’s face disappeared immediately as her head snapped to look at them. He pulled out a chair for Catherine and helped her sit, careful to stay away from Howard as he walked across the room. He and Lucy left, the latter giving Katherine a quiet goodbye. The door shut.

The two queens sat in silence for quite a while, just looking at each other. Parr wasn’t sure why she was so surprised to see how different the woman across from her looked- she knew they all came back in different bodies.

She supposed she was missing most the energy the queen used to exude. She had always been so happy at the balls, laughing and conversing with the guests easily. They never met outside of those lavish parties. Katherine was analysing her similarly, although she couldn’t decipher a single thought or emotion from the woman.

What also shocked her was the scar Katherine had. It made her chest ache for her, more than anything- she had been so young. It wrapped all the way around her neck, and looked fresh, a dark pink-purple that shined inappropriately under the kitchen lights. Parr found it strange that they had returned with remnants of their deaths (Katherine with her scar, Parr with her fever) despite their returns being in different bodies. That observation felt inappropriate, also.

“This is odd,” Parr said flatly. Katherine had flinched slightly at the sudden voice, but gave her her attention once she recovered. A questioning tilt of her head was her only response, so Parr continued, quick to clarify she wasn’t speaking of their deaths.

“To- to see you, like this, I mean. Without the jewels or dresses.”

“Odd, but comforting.” Katherine said softly. They both understood what she meant- after a week of confusion and newness, it was nice to talk to someone somewhat familiar. And it was especially nice to be without the weight of those jewels and dresses. Parr gave her an even softer smile, and that light flickered in Katherine’s eyes again.

“Yes,” she mused. “Odd, but comforting.”

#for five more minutes #six the musical fanfic #fanfic #katherine howard #catherine parr

[gg-astrology]

Im trying to figure out if I believe in astrology. So... ppl doing charts/readings of celebrities and ppl they don't know irl bring up sexuality a lot... How on earth can astrology tell you a persons sexuality? It's not like you can say all Scorpio Venus are gay or all Taurus moons are bi, so??? Not just orientation, but fetishes and preferences... Some1 told me caps are into bby girl/princess stuff and like roleplaying their first time and, as a cap, I was like no I don't??? It just seems dumb

hey there! 💓❤️💓 honestly ive no idea about the assuming sexuality (i.e. “scorpio venus are gay or taurus moons are bi”) – thing?? Thats wack as hell i’d probably be on the fence about astrology if i heard that too, ‘m sorry u got hit with that right off the bat?? ;; 💓❤️💓

The second part about fetish and preferences - the statement ‘caps are into bby girl/princess stuff’ is pretty generalized and I don’t agree with it personally On a technical level it’s very presumptuous and seems almost like a blanket-statement? If they’re going to say that, there should be placements and specificity involved. An expansive explanation helps when it’s not just ‘vibes’  bc there’s – uh, alot of things that people do pull out out of nowhere and claim that it’s true just because it seems the most fitting to their story/narrative/vibe impressions they got off of someone?  

So let me clarify? The whole point of this (astrology - to me) is that we’re trying to decipher and learn about expressions, which I understand can be taken to different context (i.e. sexual in nature, romantic in nature, friendship, family, work, life, “horoscopes”, the future) – it’s ‘divination’ by definition (if you look up the term ‘astrology’) - you don’t have to believe it, it’s just the want to know and the ability to give it a chance, that matters? 💓❤️💓 

If you look at it this way - learning the history of how it was practiced, why generations of civilization have used/done with it – (from different cultures no less! Something we all have in common is the sky above us!) – how and why the method is used, the theories behind it – is pretty interesting in itself. As a concept alone. Isn’t it curious? Maybe not about this topic, but another topic if it’s what you’re into. But I think that’s enough of a reason for people to study it if it does fit their boat/perk their fancy? 

To me personally it was never about ‘omg my luck next year is going to be the shit’ or ‘caps are all into role-playing’ but I get curious about why that was said, what basis, does it have any workings behind it? Most topic does! If you look deep enough, but it also depends on context and what you make of it as well. 

I think the main point is that its all just theories. Testing and running it over again and again is normally the way we go about marking down data if its successful or not. 

‘People doing chart readings of people they don’t even know’, ‘bringing up their sexuality’ and ‘fetishization and preference’ seems to be asking about the ethical and moral issues of astrology and to what extent astrologers should use it (note that its a choice, with the information you hold - how much should you do it and in what way. Consequences you’ve considered, and consequences you haven’t considered but will affect those who are influenced by it)

The disregard and/or breach of personal information of another person - perhaps a minor or someone who explicitly have said/would want to keep their information private (to not get exploited/ruined/made assumptions about or defamed unintentionally/intentionally by the mass/parasocial ideas from fans or “others”) – is definitely a topic we (in the community) should talk more in-depth about to get clarity/general consensus about (without witch-hunting or hurting anyone in this scene)

The need to have information accessible for individuals who might find it as a gate-way to the community, or a student who’s studying it to gain more information/resources to go from – versus the subject/context/person themselves should be a no-brainer that we pick the latter over the former. There are appropriate, clear, well-researched accessible information in whatever context people want to explore astrology techniques/topics out there. Its just a matter of ethics and morals - and consequences of ‘what happens when you expose someone to uncomfortable information/situation’ as well that should be considered?? Not just from a technical stand-point of ‘this is information and we should use it’ - but with more regards to the personal livelihood and respect for others as well.

This is a long answer - but to simplify - Some of the ethical/moral issues you brought up is important, I don’t shy away from discussing it openly on my blog anyways. 

To me astrology is a topic that is just that; a topic. It can help if you want it to help (intentionally, through astrologer’s discretion - but it can help those unintentionally as well!) – and it can hurt if you want it to hurt (intentionally or not - perhaps more so unintentionally or in worst cases, intentionally) 

It’s a tool, the astrologer is the one who wields the tool. How they choose to wield it matters. Astrology itself is just a topic - whether you chose to ‘believe’ in it or not doesn’t really matter? It’s a subject you can study, get better at it and gain from it. The idea that it could be learnt meant that the person doesn’t have to believe it or experience it personally to excel at it. Its just easier to fact-check against ourselves, our personal experience (but again, that comes with personal bias as well). Because again, it’s about data and studies - experiences tallies and % of success versus failure. Outliers, etc. Seeing how much this ‘checks out’ as a theory (a big pile of theories) came from the underlying curiosity of why this happens, how it could be used/applied for generations, what is it about. Again– that’s enough of a curiosity (if it fits your specific boat) to embark on the journey.

Last note, lack of discretion is bad in any context/situation, but I don’t and won’t shame people who know discretion and is using it to smartly address the topic of sex in a safe and healthy manner (to those around them and the subject they’re handling) – If they know what they’re doing, takes responsibility for themselves/their audience/the topic they’re handling– it’s not a subject I’m interested in talking about myself (im pretty much, kinda just an ‘oh cool’ about it), but I don’t see anything wrong with just the core-concept of just talking about sex as long as it’s done well - with conscious, and with respect to others? 

Astrology and sex have been (at least in mainstream) linked together and seems? almost exploited somewhat, most people who do talk about it (from what i’ve seen and I definitely haven’t seen everything) – just seems to be comfortable and confident in themselves, comfortable about the topic, and is just as much responsible and putting as much weight into consciously thinking about their audience/what they want to do as other – astrologers who talks about traditional astrology or light-hearted stuff sometimes. 

I definitely get that astrology has also been used (atleast from what i’ve seen?) – as a scrape goat for ‘no moral, unethical sexual stuff u might want to know about ur idols’ as well (im not making fun this is not my own words, i’ve legit seen someone wrote this word for word) – both by assumption that all astrology contents are the same, astrologers are the same, or by examples of people who became popular and gained notoriety for their content – or even examples of those who do just lack discretion and just Do Not Care. Idk? Either way, yeah it’s unfortunate if it’s the last example but I hope you find someone who fits your bill if you’re still looking into it! 

#astrology asks #long post #spicy take #this is my comeback gift #hope u like it #anon #asks

[chouetteffraie]

Lil Aku Headcanons because.......im dumb

I think about him a lot :/

General Relationship Headcanons - Akutagawa Ryunosuke

One thing that is generally agreed upon is that physical touch is super out of this boy’s comfort zone and something he’d have to get used to, which is true. It is also generally agreed upon that physical touch in public is a big no-no- also true, but let me elaborate on that.

 Obviously in public you won’t be touching much because 1.you don’t do it much in private (I’m talking sweet/intimate touches not nasty ones) and 2. it’d be easy to connect the dots and use you as a way to get to Akutagawa and there’s probably a few people who wouldn’t mind using that information to their advantage

But, especially if you’ve been together for a while, I’d imagine there’d be a little bit of something. Not hand holding though.

Instead, he’d probably just like,,,brush his hand against yours on purpose. It sounds pointless and weird but hear me out.

1. it could easily be written off as an accident should anybody be paying attention to the proximity of your hands 

2. It isn’t anything that would make him feel especially uncomfortable- I know sometimes I feel like if you’re holding hands with someone it’s such a commitment to never need to use that hand. This is probably really ridiculous but when he’s out in public with you he’s a little paranoid and would prefer to not be incapacitated by only having one hand available even though if something were to happen he could,,,,,take his hand back and use it? 

I feel like any touch in public isn’t necessarily meant to be affectionate though it certainly wouldn’t be devoid of affection and is used as more of a reassurance that you’re there

Remember how I said it could easily be written off as an accident to any passerby? Well if you’ve started to notice that he has bumped your hand a bunch and you ask him about it he can easily just scoff and say “You’re the one bumping against me I don’t know what you’re talking about”

100% he has accidentally bumped against you too hard one time and started to avoid your gaze for a few minutes because he made himself so obvious and was embarrassed

Have you ever been on an actual date out with him before? Yeah! I like the idea (which I think I read first here) that there are a few Mafia owned places that you’ll go to occasionally. While on one of these dates I still don’t think he’s very into hand-holding. But he’s super into you like holding onto his arm! Consider:

You get to stay close to him and be connected without movement being super limited (at least, not on his part)

 You’ll absentmindedly use your thumb to stroke his arm and he’ll never let you know how much he loves it

If you’re wrapping things up and the two of you are alone you’ll rest your head on his arm and he loves that too

However! If the two of you are at home, Akutagawa doesn’t mind holding your hand while you’re just sitting and enjoying each other’s company. He’s just picky about what he shows to the world.

I also love love LOVE the idea that he likes it when you play with his hair. Run your fingers through it, play with a specific piece, whatever. It relaxes him and is probably the closest the two of you get in terms of casual physical affection

If you’re really lucky and he’s in a good mood he’ll let you comb it when it needs it how do boys take care of their hair

Additionally: massages. Scalp massages and shoulder massages for sure but he’ll take anything. You’ll probably have to convince him a little in the beginning because he’s too proud for his own good but he’ll never put up too much of a fight if you’re offering.

Something I see a lot is that, as his s/o, you’ll have to learn how to pick up on the tiny, subtle cues he’ll give as to how he’s feeling, how comfortable he is and what he wants. But what are those hints you’ll have to decipher. Here’s a few ideas:

If he’s sitting or lying next to you and he wants some sort of physical affection he will not initiate it. Instead he will keep glancing your way and start pouting without realizing it and you’ll have to take the first step. HOWEVER you should only do something small like lean your head on his shoulder or give him a little smooch on the cheek because if you go in too quickly he’ll feel stupid for not making the first move and will continue to be pouty.

I don’t personally imagine him to be quiet all the time, but everything he says has meaning i.e. no chit-chat. maybe a little chit-chat if you’ve had an uneventful day he likes talking to you oKAY. 

Let’s say you’re reading a book and you’re one of those people who like to analyze it like you were an English teacher, or really if you’re ranting and raving about something else, he’ll listen and enjoy it but you’ll have to keep glancing at him to make sure he isn’t lost or getting annoyed.

Akutagawa will never ever ever admit to getting lost though. If he ever is, he’ll tilt his head ever so slightly and furrow his nonexistent eyebrows a teeny tiny bit. This is your cue to slow down, but don’t make an effort to ask him if he understands because he might feel stupid.

If he’s annoyed, it’s a little more obvious and that’s your cue to wrap it up and change the subject. It’s also a little more rare because he wuvs you uwu

He’s down for deep philosophical conversations because it interests him how you see the world and how it aligns with how you see him, especially if you’re one of those people who sees good in everything and have a rather optimistic perspective on things.

Don’t tell him that you think he’s good or there’s good in him. Akutagawa knows what he does and what he is and he won’t appreciate you trying to butter him up. Instead you can tell him he’s good to you and that you enjoy being around him / feel safe around him and ESPECIALLY that you aren’t afraid of him. You accepting and liking him the way he is and sees himself is way more important to him than you believing in something that might not even be there.

You should, however, convince him that he isn’t a monster or devoid of humanity. You don’t have to kiss up to him to let him know that he still exists as a person and ease his mind on that.

Don’t try to change his mind about anything too much. Discussing opposing viewpoints is way more fun than having someone try to tell him his entire outlook on life is wrong.

I can’t imagine he’d be particularly fond of deep questions like “what is life all about?” or “what happens after we die?” when he isn’t expecting them. Give him a warning if you’re having an existential crisis or else he’ll not only shut down, but he won’t be able to sleep that night and he needs his sleep!!!!

I don’t know where I was going to end this so here’s some sleep thoughts:

Only dreams like five times a year unless he’s having nightmares. Never remembers those dreams in great details but he knows enough about them to remember them for a while

Any dreams Akutagawa has aren’t exceptionally weird, nor do they reveal some kind of hidden desire he’s had. They’re just kind of there, like he’s watching himself go through a normal day. 

Nightmares are bad but he normally doesn’t flail around too much. He probably just makes some really intense facial expressions before eventually rolling over and calming down while still asleep. If he does wake up, his eyes fly open wide and he just kind of lies there trying to calm his breathing and listen to see if there are any intruders or something.

If sleeping with his s/o he won’t be a super cuddler but will end up with them in his arms in the morning. Sometimes this happens because you fell asleep first and he just,,,,wanted to, but most of the time it happens while you both are asleep. He will deny both, even if you both are awake and you are still in his arms as you accuse him.

Anyway please love Akutagawa please

#ch: akutagawa #akutagawa hcs #akutagawa fluff hcs #akutagawa gen hcs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #akutagawa #akutagawa ryunosuke #akutagawa x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs headcanons #akutagawa fluff

[charlicpace]

hello pace! we’re a newly revamped skeleton rp about a group of gifted vigilantes trying to protect their decaying city. could we please trouble you for an opinion? thank you so much!

hi there ! of course you can ! because this is the first opinion posted on this blog, i’m just gonna start with a little disclaimer both so you know, and for anybody who also might want an opinion in the future, but the rest is under the cut !

DISCLAIMER: my opinions/reviews are kind of a two in one, and always going to be worded as kindly as possible. everything i say is only said with the intention of helping to improve an rp so it can reach its full potential and thrive, both as somebody with a personal opinion on most things, someone who’s been an admin before, and someone who knows what the rpc is like and what they’re usually drawn to. i’m always going to be nice and try to focus on the positives before critiquing the negatives, and i fully understand and appreciate the hard work that goes into creating an rp; nothing sucks more than having your hard work ripped apart and i will never do that. everything will be split into sections that i think are important, just so i can keep track of what i have or haven’t said yet, and so it’s easier to read and doesn’t look like an intimidating chunk of Opinion ! and finally and most importantly, my opinion is just that ! an opinion ! in the grand scheme of things, the opinion of one person ( yours truly, in this case ! ) really doesn’t matter if i say something you disagree with and don’t wish to change, as you’re free to run your rp as you wish ! however, if at any point you wish for me to take this post down for any reason, please just ask and i’ll happily oblige. i’ll make the most private, but shoot you an im with the link to the private post so you can still refer back to it if you so wish !

spoiler: y’all are going in my rec tag !

FIRST IMPRESSION. immediately, i’m happy ! your theme is clean & tidy, and everything looks really neat and easy to navigate. all important information is easily accessible, and would definitely make me want to navigate around the main further even if i weren’t about to do so for opinion purposes ! your graphics are bloody lovely, and the first post i see when i load the main is a skeleton specifically for a non-binary character, and with a nb fc as one of the suggestions, so already i’m happy, and would be more inclined to consider applying if that was why i’m looking ! genuinely, i wouldn’t change a thing about the main’s appearance, i love it. 

CHARACTERS & FCs.i actually really love skeleton rps ! i could be wrong, but i feel like that’s actually an unpopular opinion these days ? but i love a good skeleton rp myself ! and i think you’ve found a really great balance between giving enough information to spark muse but leaving enough room for creative freedom, which can be hard ! it’s not often that i’m drawn to more than a couple of skeletons at most, but every single one i looked at is intriguing as heck. they’re such well-written characters that it’d be hard for anybody to create a muse that doesn’t end up being multidimensional and interesting —– at least i hope so. i love that there’s nb rep, skeletons specially made for characters of colour, and encouragement for ‘older’ characters. really, it’s great stuff. and writing the skeletons in second person ? genius !

PLOT.genuinely, i love the plot and the way it’s written. there’s enough information there to get a full grip on the rp and the plotline, but the way you’ve written it makes it easy to read, and you can get all the information required without being faced with a big block of text that a lot of people find intimidating. usually, i’d be put-off by the genre of superheros ( nothing to do with it as a genre, i’m sure it’s great, but it’s just not my thing, y’know ? ) but with the way the main is run and the plot in itself would really make that not matter to me ! i’m just a little bit in love with it. the world you’ve built is so intriguing ! 

GENERAL ADMINNING.again, this seems to be a very well run rp ! asks are answered with kindness and openness, and i’d personally have no problem sending an ask your way if i had any questions or approaching you via the ims if i needed to as a member. your dedication also shows in the fact that you guys have recently revamped, and whether it’s to give the rp a boost or to fine tune some things, it shows that you’re dedicated to your group and the members who’ll be joining, and would make me more inclined to apply, too — i love nothing more than dedicated admins. the only thing i’d say on a tad more negative note is that the gif icons you’re using might be a little small for my taste, but they’re nice and bright so don’t cause too much trouble when it comes to seeing them ! your activity limit being six days is very reasonable and considerate, and very much appreciated, and i also love that your rules state not to write godmoddy starters, as i feel like that’s often neglected when it comes to what people think gomodding is. the banning of any text smaller than , the inclusion of a mandatory triggers to tag list, the lack of specific age-bending rules, the opportunity to add any fcs that make you uncomfortable to the app, the fact that you state that anonymous can be turned off or not enabled in the first place, and the fact that properly using people’s pronouns is in your rules… all brilliant, brilliant things. the rp is obviously a safe, inclusive space, and you make that clear by showing and not telling, and it makes me more inclined to want to join and recommend to friends. i also think your starter rule is very fair, as i feel like a lot of rps take it too far as of recently, and make interactions quite limiting by forcing people to reply to starters that don’t fit their muse, or forcing them to take on more threads than they can handle. i think you’ve got the perfect balance, though, and encourage inclusivity and the lack of bubble rping without taking it too far. however, i’d perhaps say that if you’re allowing minors into the rp, the writing of smut at all might not be the best idea, even though the rules you have in place are appreciated, and to maybe add the banning of autoplay on character blogs.

EXTRAS.including questions about the muse in the app is such a brilliant idea ! both for your sake and helping to decipher who is the best applicant to fill the skeleton, but also for the folks applying, as it’ll lead to them to think about their muse a little deeper and think about things in the long-run. i really think it’ll help weed out the people who aren’t looking to stick around, even more than a full-app rp usually does !

ENDING NOTES.my friend, you’ve created something really special here. i genuinely, truly wish you the best of luck, and hope you thrive as it’s really well-deserved ! i know i tend to end up giving the lovechild of a standard review and your average opinion, but my opinion is that this rp is fucking glorious. i’m gonna finish each of these on this blog by asking myself would i consider joining this rp if i were looking for one, and the answer this time is a very firm and enthusiastic yes ! congratulations on your revamp, and for sticking to your rp and the ideas for nearly two years, and good luck !

#skeleton rp #new rp #rph #rpc #rpa #nightcallhq #opinions & reviews #rec

[yoongiiggles]

More Than This | Part 1

Type: Series 

Pair: Tony Stark x Plus-Size Reader

Summary: You were the secretary of Tony Stark and you have been in love with him after creating a strong friendship that was built on trust and years of working along side him. Although there is an obvious chemistry between you two, he has been loyal to his relationship with the woman he has loved, Pepper Potts, since before he was the hot shot Tony Stark the iron man.  But can a devastating breakup and a one night stand change the relationship between you two and end your unrequited love?

Word Count: 2k

A/N: This is my first time attempting in writing fanfic so bear with me 😅, and I apologize beforehand if there are any grammatical or spelling errors that you encounter as you are reading. As always, feedback is always welcome!!! 😝 And I apologize for the delays and how long it takes to write this series, I’ve been trying to balance my work with college so bare with me! Thank you!

Song: Say You Love Me - Jessie Ware

Part 1  ||  Part 2  ||  Part 3  ||  Part 4  ||  Part 5  ||  Part 6  ||  Part 7  ||  Part 8  ||  Part 9  ||  End

          It’s another sleepless night for you as you stare up at the ceiling in contemplative pain. It’s dark in your room and it’s deafly quiet that when a pin needle drops, you’d be able to hear it in your sleep. The combined darkness and silence in your room only encourages your mind to wander back to images and thoughts of the one man that you have fallen in love with, Tony Stark. Yet as fast as those thoughts come, they disappear with a feeling of guilt as the image of Pepper Potts comes to mind. You didn’t mean to fall in love with him, really you didn’t. But as the lingering touches increase more each day and the conversations turn into deep soul conversations, you can’t deny the rapid beating of your heart every time you are near him, which can ultimately put you at risk for a possible heart attack, considering that you are required to be with him at least 23 hours a day as his secretary and the one hour that he has to himself is spent strictly and only with Pepper Potts, which of course, adds more pain to your rapid beating heart. Especially knowing that the less hours you have that you are able to spend with a person, the more intimate the bonding will be, which increases the ache in your heart twice as much, knowing that you, no matter how much longer your hours are with Tony compared to the time he has with Pepper, you will never have the intimate bond that Tony and Pepper share together.

~Flashback~

        You were nothing special. Just a regular human being working in a library taking great care of books and guiding curious souls to immerse themselves into a new experience of another world. But today was an interesting day.There were no curious souls searching a new world to adventure into. The library was empty, save for you and a couple of work buddies that you converse with occasionally when gossip around the library spread like wild fire.

        But what was really interesting about today was the email that you received from Tony Stark himself, an email regarding a search for a secretary that will keep him in line and organize the mess that he often creates, along with an attachment of an application. It was surreal that THE Tony Stark would send an email like that to a person like you. Thinking nothing of it, you opened up the attached application and answered the questions like any other applications you had to fill for a job. If you only knew how much a small action can lead to such big consequences.

— End of Flashback —

        And you were right that day. Tony Stark had never intended to send you an email, let alone an application to be his secretary and still to this day, he will never admit that he mistyped a letter that led to your name instead, that prideful son of gosh darn man, yet you are forever grateful that his simple mistake eventually led to your friendship.

        Ever since that fateful day, you had grown to appreciate the man behind the mask of iron man. A compassionate, loving, carefree spirited man and not the Tony Stark, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist guy that society deemed him to be. But don’t get any ideas, the first couple of years of being the secretary of Tony Stark was tough. Your relationship as boss and employee was restrained. The only words he had ever spoke to you were a yes, no, okay, and bye. It was a bit disheartening at first that you began to consider quitting because the environment was too suffocating for you to endure but as soon as you saw his interaction with Pepper Potts, you thought, “i guess he’s not too bad”. Ever since then, you were determined to break the walls he built around himself and become more than a secretary, a friend.

        You started with Plan A, little notes of encouragement. In the morning, you’d slip a sticky note on his morning coffee that stated, “Life is like a mirror: It’ll smile at you if you smile at it”. Cheesy but you were desperate to give him hints of wanting him to be more at ease with you and be more expressive towards you. Though as soon as he saw the note, he threw it in the trash bin and told you to not waste any more sticky notes with irrelevant writings.

         On to Plan B, little gifts for each one of his birthdays. You started with something simple, a note card describing how grateful you were to be working for him and on to bigger gifts such as a new watch and a pillow comforter for his late nights at his labs. This was your greatest plan yet, thinking that it’ll show that he is worth the gifts that he receives and that an employee can see beyond a boss but a human being thinking of another human being. As great as a plan you thought it was, he would leave every gift you have given him in a corner of his lab, untouched. At this point you were frustrated. The least he could have done was say Thank You. But thinking nothing of it, you came up with another plan.

- Flashback -

         “Good Morning Sir, shall I review the plans for today?”

         “Yes”….

         Looking down at your notepad you read, “First you will be having a meeting with Pepper Potts in the Cafe Laguna at 8:30 am for breakfast. You both will then take a carriage ride to the carnival at 10:30 am and go for a walk to a street food festival for lunch. By the time this is all done you will have a brief meeting with the avengers at 2:00 pm and go straight to your room as Pepper will await for you arrival for a private moment between you two. And finally at 6:00 pm you will have a dinner picnic at Golden Creeks Beach Park and retire for the day in your quarters again with Pepper. Will there be anything else you would like to add sir?”. Looking up from your notepad, you looked at Tony’s widen eyes. You inwardly smirk at his bafflement.

          And for the first time working with him through the years, he says something more than a word, “You’re joking right? Potts is too busy for these silly plans.”

         Again, you inwardly smirk, “Pepper Potts is not busy today. I have explained the circumstances you are in and she has agreed and cleared her schedule to spend the whole day with you Sir”.

         “What circumstances are you going on about?”.

         Smiling at him, “I apologize Sir but it’s almost 8:30 and knowing how punctual you like being, especially for Pepper, I suggest you leave right now if you wanna arrive to at the Cafe for breakfast with Pepper in high spirits”.

         He stares at you for a moment with something in his eyes that you couldn’t quite decipher what it was but after a few moments he rushes out the room and you start jumping around excited for your success.

- End of Flashback -

          Ever since that careful day of planning and revealing it to Tony, the relationship of boss and secretary has blossomed into friendship. Tony would become more expressive in his feelings and thoughts, asked you advice for his relationship with Pepper, and confide in you with his internal struggles. And in return, you have become twice the friend you already were. 

          Its now a Saturday, evening on the clock, the day Tony would be spending his one hour time with Pepper. But his time with you has been pushed to 24 hours a day with Tony, as Pepper is scheduled to a convention in LA for the next 5 months. Since being with Tony 24 hours and living in his penthouse in the designated, “This is especially the designated room for my special secretary” as Tony would put it or in other words, “You will be living in this room for as long as you are my secretary as your job as my secretary requires your all your time”, as you would put it, you have listened to his complaints about Pepper abruptly leaving for a convention. 

          “I can’t believe this. Leaving me a note to TELL me that she’s going to be gone for the next 5 months for a stupid convention I have no idea about?!? Couldn’t she just have told me in my face? Does our relationship mean that little to her?”

          You sigh for the hundredth time, “Tony, Im sure she had good reason as to not tell you in person. Maybe this convention really is a big deal and this meeting really did come up out of nowhere? Besides, why not just call her?”. Again, no response from him. You internally curse as you know why he won’t just simply call her. Pride. Thinking carefully and looking over his schedule you say, 

          “Hey, uhm do you want to go this new ice cream shop that just opened couple blocks away? I hear they make the best ice cream smoothie shake these days” 

          “Ice cream smoothie shake? What does that even mean?”.

          Sighing again, you sit next to him on his couch, “Who cares about what it means! It’s the latest trend right now. Besides, you have nothing on your schedule at the moment. So what do you say?”. After a few minutes of contemplation from him, you finally leave his office to head down the ice cream shop.

          “Damn that was the best thing i’ve ever tasted in my life!”, you say as you walk side by side with Tony. Although the ice cream shop was packed and hours of waiting in line has made your feet sore, the ice cream smoothie shake was worth the wait.

         Chuckling at you, “Seriously? That was mediocre at its best. Trust me, I know an ice cream shop that can do better than that”. Rolling your eyes and chuckling, you say nothing as the sun starts to set. Compared to the amount of people in the ice cream shop, theres barely any people walking down the sidewalk and cars on the street. The walk with Tony is quiet as neither of you speak, too tired from waiting in line. So it comes to a surprise to you as tony halts your walking and bends down in front of you, his back facing you, “Hop on. I bet those heels are killing your feet right now”. Blushing furiously, you decline but on his insistence, you finally climb on his back, wrapping your legs around his hips.

          Mumbling softly you say, “I can still walk. Besides, I might break your back you know”. 

          Tony halts a little at your comment. But choosing to ignore your comment of indiscretion directed towards you he says, “You mean limping? Please. You’re better off with me carrying you. Besides, I wasn’t raised to allow a gorgeous woman suffer”. You suck in a breath and hold it in, did he just call you gorgeous? and is he actually flirting with you? No way right? Besides, he has a girlfriend, you remind yourself. One he is completely and utterly devoted to. 

          “You okay?”

          Coming out of your thoughts, you finally registered that he has said something to you. “huh?”.

         “Are you okay? Feet doesn’t hurt that much does it? You’ve been quiet a long minute”.

         Blushing you say, “I should be asking you that. Are you okay? Im not hurting your back am I? I can walk you know Im not that helpless. Besides, Im a big girl, I can take care of myself”. Grunting again at you, “Trust me, you’re perfect and Im fine”. With nothing else to say and with much consideration, you rest your head against his shoulder blades. Little did you know that day that your relationship has changed.

#Plus Size #plus size reader #tony stark x plus size reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark #fluff #angst #tony stark imagine #tony imagine #reader insert #reader imagine #plus-sized reader #plus-size reader #unrequited love

[rasharivas]

hey can i ask why people argue who is esme's fp? i thought it was both zig and miles? im asking since i saw you specifically chose miles in your gifset like is there a specific reason?

I mostly keep to myself outside of private chats, so I haven’t really seen the arguments you’re talking about. But I will tell you why I personally prefer Miles as the primary example of Esme’s FP. This will get super long so I’m putting it under the cut.

I’ll start by telling you what my experience with an FP has been as a borderline. It’s really hard to put into words how it feels to have an FP but I’m going to try. My FP is the first one I turn to when I wake up in the morning. Her opinion matters more to me than anything and I can’t fathom life without her. Often it feels like she can do no wrong, and I constantly want to make her happy, and intensely want her attention and love in return. A lot of the way I think about myself lies in how she thinks of me.    

Esme’s attraction/attachment to Miles was instant and intense. Starting with her cutting her hair, she was interested in keeping Miles pleased and happy. Some of you might think that her giving him drugs was just part of her being a bad influence, but from my point of view, a huge aspect of that was her actually trying to give him an escape. She recognized from his conversation that kept her from hearing about iambic pentameter, that dealing with his dad and getting through events like that made him miserable. She gave him an escape and fun (albeit dangerous fun). She connected to him and found in him someone that didn’t make her feel crazy (which I look at as a stabilization of her sense of self, especially in light of how we’ve seen in future seasons how often people call her crazy). He gave her some semblance of comfort. One scene that always stood out to me was the look on her face when he says he can’t see her anymore. She jumps in before he can finish, saying that he’ll probably call her an enabler, she knows the psychobabble. For me, her disappointment at him thinking of her in that way was palpable. I personally value what my FP thinks of me so much, and when she doesn’t think of me in the way I hope, I switch to angry first. And then often, I switch again and become desperate. Esme starts by telling him, “You have no friends and a crap family” and leaves, followed by a return to idealizing her connection to him and a desperate attempt to bring him back with a faked suicide attempt.

Now to Zig. The first thing I want to say is that although it is common, being a borderline’s significant other does not necessarily make you their FP, so if that is someone’s argument, I’d say they need to bolster their argument with some evidence. Esme’s connection to Zig was much more gradual in my opinion. To me, it was a more ordinary relationship progression beginning with her teaching him how to dance. The connection lacked the same intensity. Now, I will acknowledge that it is a possibility that Zig became her new favorite person. In the wake of losing one FP, in my personal experience, it is not uncommon to imprint on a replacement. She did start to enact some of those FP behaviors with Zig. Her desperation to keep him happy manifested as her willingness to bring Frankie into their relationship, her constant reliance on her sexuality to please him, etc. There have been some instances where we see how she values his opinion (e.g. season 3, when she asks him what if he hears people talk about darker stuff. In that scene she distinctly says, “I don’t care what other people say about me. Your opinion was the only one that mattered.” However, I think when everyone is calling you a slut, this particular instance is more of a circumstantial comment than a quintessential FP interaction.) But I’m not an expert. My viewpoint is distinctly tied to my experience. It’s hard for me to decipher how much of that is normal relationship stuff and what is FP stuff. I think for someone with borderline tendencies who has been in a relationship for a year (I’ll consider this long term), it would be extremely difficult to not reach a level of attachment that brings that fear of abandonment to the surface (even without the idealization that comes with an FP). And when your mental illness is untreated, it can start overflowing to the level of Esme’s breakdown this season. So I can see why you might see Zig as an FP but I definitely prefer Miles as my (and her) first choice example. 

So this was long-winded but to directly answer your question on why I chose Miles in my gifset, it is due to the speed and intensity of her imprinting on Miles. That is so much more familiar to me as it mirrors my experience with my FP.

#esme song #miles hollingsworth #zig novak #that bpd feel #lmao also my italics and bolds are with intention #FP #asks

[marishasscott-blog]

The beginning of the End "o"

This is my story.

August 2016, I had just launched my first business & secured a great career in banking. All was going well. I was working, parenting, working out, flourishing as a young woman making a world for herself and child.

Every week I was teaching twerkout classes alongside my former partner, going to workout boot camps, doing private events, using coconut oil, hair was long, I was skinny, booty was getting bigger, no man problems. I was healthy. I was young. I was growing and flourishing. So I thought. Every week I was also bleeding until no end. I’m thinking yea, here we go again, just my period. Until 14 days later and I’m still playing peek a boo. One week I had gotten really sick and just wasn’t feeling my best. My former partner, who wasn’t the most emotional being, was even concerned so I knew it had to be serious. I remember sitting down on the toilet, during a really heavy cycle of course and when I wiped myself after going to the restroom, I looked on the handful of toilet paper and it was the biggest clot of blood I’d ever ever seen in all my years of wiping myself during my cycle. I panicked. I texted my former partner and one of my best friends Brittany Hart (who by the way makes any type of cake you could imagine and they taste amazing considering cake is all I could just about eat at this point <—– shameless plug ) at the same time telling them about the clot. All three of us are freaking out like OMG! We all immediately get on google and the first thing that pops up is miscarriage **stale face**. I’d only been dating my then boyfriend for like a month BARELY and he was on his way out the door, I immediately apologized to God for not making the best life decisions in men and then realized at that point, I HAD to go to the doctor. I hate the doctor. They just get too personal — much like this tea I’m spilling.

I made the doctors appointment and I go. As the doctor is all up in my grill, by that I mean I’m sure his whole hand was in my vagina while pressing on my already enlarged uterus **face palm**. He lets out a small sigh, “My dear, I believe you are pregnant”. I looked in disbelief. There’s only one way this could have happened. The doctor wasn’t sure, but was sure. He gave me some prenatal vitamins (I kept in my trunk because I didn’t want my mom to know) and told me to come back next week to get the results of the blood work and to go next door and get an ultrasound. When I went next door, I was expecting to see a baby. Yep. Nope. So I got confused. With my son, they couldn’t find him either so I was like great. This is happening all over again. The tech took pictures of nothing (so I thought) because my uterus was seemingly empty and I went home. Brittany was on my tail like tell me tell me tell me. I regretfully told her what the doctor said and she was like, “what are you going to do with two babies? Are you ready for that!?”

A week goes by. Yes I had been sneaking and taking the prenatal vitamins just in case. I have my follow up appointment. Where I thought my life was about to change because of one reason, a totally different one ensued. The doctor explained to me that my left reproductive side was completely destroyed. It was full of clusters of ovarian cysts, infection, my Fallopian tube was so enlarged because of all the infection trapped around it and the only thing he could do was remove it. And soon. I asked how soon (by this time it was September) and he said as soon as he could find an open surgery day. His next date was September 21 ! It had to be like the 11th already. Two weeks!

I had never had any major surgery before. Especially not one where he had to open me up right below my abdomen from side to side, the scar I still have to prove I’m a ninja warrior ! I was nervous! I was also excited that my problem would be solved. Ha! Pinned ya again!

Sept. 21 came and before I knew it I was in the recovery room. I was cured!!!!!!! I was noooottttttttt *sad face*

My doctor told me while performing the surgery, where he had already removed half of my baby factory, he found ENDOMETRIOSIS. I already knew OF it because of a friend who “mentioned” having it (in college I wasn’t worried about someone cramping, doubled over in pain because of her period – I now know) and because a family member has it as well. My OBGYN told me, its bad. It’s nothing I can do besides put you on a treatment called Lupron. I had NO more choices. Even with the Oophorectomy (removing ½ of my baby factory not that I had anyone to reproduce with) he said it was NOTHING he could do.

I was off work about 8-11 weeks recovering and I progressively got worse. I remember crying to my mom, standing in the shower screaming, I JUST DON’T FEEL GOOD! I could see the discomfort in my moms eyes, for she too had dealt with this and knew this was something I’d have to figure out on my own. It wasn’t like she could open up my scar and climb in there and massage my insides or have an Indian styled come to Jesus meeting with my hormones to tell them to leave me alone! I felt like I had been chopped open for nothing. I was still sick !

During the recovery and “getting used to” period, I was still trying to work and parent and I transitioned to Nashville for a job in what I thought was my career. Banking. I kept getting sick. I kept bleeding. January rolls around and I know I was in bed the whole month. I found a new OBGYN and asked a second opinion about the Lupron. She then told me first, she wanted to do ANOTHER surgery. To actually remove as much Endo as she could. Here we go again. Through call outs, pain killers, doctors appts, I made it through to February (the next available) and went under the knife AGAIN! In all I have 5 scars and I still have the endometriosis. That recovery from the laparoscopic surgery was the WORST! And I STILL have the endometriosis.

After the recovery, the Lupron was ordered. I was told it can go two ways. Either it helps and no symptoms or it can help and make you feel the worst you’ve ever felt in your life. I guess you can decipher between the two and figure which side of the spectrum I’m on. Blah. I’ve been on treatment for 4 out of 6 months and it’s been the hardest of my life. I can’t work. I’m always sick. I’m always moody. I’m always crying. I’m always hungry but I’m limited to only eating air if I don’t want a flare up. I’m always dissatisfied with weight. I’m always tired. Im always hot and having a hot flash. Im always telling people I’ll call them back. I’m always taking medicine. Im always calling the doctor. I’m always always always! Lupron is a form of chemo. So only imagine how strong this medicine is. Everyone says “IDK why u out yourself through that”, “That’s why I can’t take medicine”, “I wouldn’t do that to myself”. Well, when it’s the only option besides ANOTHER surgery, I can only pray and take my chances. Endometriosis has stopped me from doing everything. I’m literally a living vegetable. Ironic ! It’s too late to turn back now and too early to tell if I’ll ever be normal (one of my daily prayers) again, so I’m stuck in the middle. Only way to know if it works is to keep following my journey with me as I keep torturing myself each month with treatment ! *fingers crossed* And before you say it, yes I’ve tried natural self care remedies.. natural isn’t always the answer. Especially at stage IV (4).

Endometriosis is more than a period. It’s a disability. You can’t look at someone and tell they have Endo, but you can have more compassion for them when they are “just cramping”. My journey is far from over, and it’s a struggle I deal with by the minute ! It will get better !

My name is Marisha, and I have Endometriosis.

#endometriosis endtheendo endometriosisawareness womenwithendometriosis ifightlikeagirl iamoneinten