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#this took me months to compile lol

vargaslovinghours · 2 months

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EleVeN!11!!1! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 10½)

Fuzzy Edgar forever. I don’t remember the context now, maybe there wasn’t any to begin with haha, he’s just so cute with slightly longer hair! And upset :)

Some Diaryfic snuggles ♥ Scriabin can be so sweet to him at the worst time ah, I love Edgar’s hard on his arm and Scriabin’s pulling his hair out of his injured eye 💕

While I was very inspired by the Red Flags meme going around (we’ll get there), I was just as inspired by Mixed Messages - this exchange is so silly and them to me. He’s just trying to flirt back, you don’t have to make it harder! That’s just what Scriabin does haha

🥐 🖕 D:’

What else did you expect Scriabin to do with texting capabilities?? I’m still very enamoured with the thought of Scriabin using emojis and Edgar using emoticons - they are sort of different generations!

Here’s the Red Flags! So gd catchy, damn lol. I was specifically inspired by the X is on a date with themself edits, it was so tempting to consider a Ladyverse version as well haha. Edgar’s uncomfortable smiles were so incredibly fun hehe ♪

Y’see because with that many eyes- you get it

Edgar’s little “Or do I??” makes me laugh haha, anything to get out of this situation!

Waiter Jake ❤️💕💖💞💗 Rescue him!

Very inspired by this one specifically, he’s totally innocent! Not offputting at all! ♥

Alright well good luck with that bye. I love Edgar being menaced into continuing this date hehe ♫

Scriabin just keeping on the pressure for this date to keep going! Slight neg in “Couldn’t you have dressed up a little nicer though? ✨” pft

Brief aside with Scriabin!Edgar out drinking with my OC Mint who has very openly had a crush on the Vargases for a while now, thanks Mint

Honestly it was all just an excuse to turn him down and have Scriabin call Edgar his “landlord” haha; I was feeling nostalgic and went back to reread some old YuGiOh fics and had been so long away that I forgot that was a term used in the fandom to refer to the bodies of people the various Yamis would take over hehe ♪ It felt very fitting!

I can call him that but don’t you call him that >:(

Angy Scriabin!Edgar, the usual

Handplates re/reading doodles!! Hghgh!!! The theses of these stories of codependent relationships cut me to my very core I’ll have you know 💕 I managed to avoid falling down the rabbit hole of Handplates!Vargas but I was this close, lemme tell you. The subtle shift in phrasing changes so much ;; I love them dearly

A kind-of leftover WOY style Scriabin, since I made his hair all pointy in my first doodles - the WOY style is quite soft and round! He looks very silly hehe

Another song that is, yes, unironically in my Vargas playlist. This is a Nny song to me and you can pry it from my cold dead correct hands. That beautiful facial hair ♪

More Handplates/Vargas, this time obviously inspired by my holiday request 💕💖💞 I honestly rather like how calm Gaster seems whenever he’s in Edgar’s vicinity, he is a fairly unassuming human haha. Is it because he doesn’t laugh very often? Oh no that’s sad actually haha

I’m not done with Blank Slate Ch. 4 just yet - hopefully soon! - but this lineup stands out to me especially since I made it while rereading Handplates. Specifically after Gaster is pulled out of the Void - Gaster having to face the people he loves who have no memory of him really spoke to me in a Blank Slate way - the scenario of being able to completely start over and have never done anything to hurt your loved ones, at the expense of never having done anything to them, as far as they’re concerned, ah! It hurts so beautifully!! That’s one of the central themes I’m chasing so it was so cool to see in that context! Very inspiring ♥

So remember how in my Sims post, one Vargas family ended up with two Todds? Well what if that but actually

Twin Todd AU, just try and stop me

The saddest little twins y’ever did see ahh 💔 Having to share Shmee because there’s just the one of him! Who has a greater need :’0

I actually went and skimmed the SQUEE! comics to get a better grasp on the Casils, I’d forgotten basically everything haha. It seemed in keeping that if they could barely keep track of the one Todd, they wouldn’t bother even differentiating between two :’) Taking Todd shifts to better share the load

At least they have each other! More helpful than a stuffed bear who eats trauma? On par at least?

I also happened to catch this screenshot of the Todds gossiping about their shadow-dad, though I’m not sure who had seen him :0 By now I have found an adoption memory-loss prevention mod - thank goodness :D - but it wasn’t installed at the time! :0 Blue Todd is the Todd who’d already been the Vargases’ kid, Red Todd is newly-adopted Todd :)

Greetings in order! One of the Todds came by to scout out this strange new person

It’s a name to go by, if nothing else

Reporting back from the field, he has served his big narrative influence hehe ♥

Uh, yeah, about that- While I don’t doubt you were seeing double at times, uhm-

Surprise! Double the sons!

Only so much space in this apartment! They’re probably used to sharing a space to sleep weh, the implications of this AU are sad! I have no one to blame but myself haha

I have never been able to give up this twisted love I have for Edgar getting flustered about incredibly silly things and Scriabin chiding him with just his name haha ♥ Real twins do not delegitimize whatever the hell you two are to each other 💕

Who me? An affinity for how names shape identity and what it means to be a whole separate person? In love with this story in particular? You must be mistaken. But really, what would their name(s) be? I also love the subtle differences even just here - one Todd speaks up for the other! Dynamics ✨

1994, 2004, basically the same year innit. Scriabin is so much more on the up-and-up about the latest technology than Edgar, that old man

In which the offscreen is me lol, I was so blown away by how much more advanced the Sims 2 was from the Sims 1 ♥ Scriabin doesn’t need a box with a program in it, he has the absolute funnest toy in the world already!

And isn’t that the most important part ♪

Scriabin immediately makes himself and hooks up with every Sim he can, Edgar uncomfortable and totally not watching a~ny of the animations hehe ♪ Honestly though, the thought of Scriabin being genuinely excited to virtually get it on with any-and-every delights me haha

Look. Look, okay, look- If I could choose what to be inspired by, I would but sometimes

Obviously Scriabin would be a long Furby lol, this exchange can be summarized to “Scriabin no D:” “Scriabin yes >:D”

He’s complaining that Edgar ignoring him sleeping is boring haha

I did briefly lose my mind over how the Furbish word for “I/me/my/mine” is all the same - linguistically it makes sense, self-possessive, but in this, in their context ♥

Based on that one Wojak format - looks into the camera like “Yes. I am in your head. Insanity tracks” pfft

And it’s @jaspravex with the steel chair!! I hadn’t drawn any of them in like a month and then all of a sudden- I was 1000% not expecting to be hit with such a huge wave of inspiration but gosh and dang did this line of thought light me up. The implication! The jealousy! Wow that’s a lot all at once I wasn’t expecting ♥ Somehow these two never ended up on my shipping chart, dynamics I swear haha ✨

There’s September through February for the fourth go ‘round! Wild when I put it like that :0 Like clockwork, these lads ♪

#💟#Doodles #Art #Sketchdump #Edgar #Scriabin #Jake #Todd #Shmee #Nny #There's a few errant things in here as well - The Sims 2 - Handplates #......Furbies #Look it's fine don't worry about it lol #Oh this one was so nice to edit <3 I've made it once <3 <3 When was the last time I could say that about one of these ♥#And you know what that means right? Other than the fact that I've gotten a bit better at making these without breaking them lol #It means my art production is finally actually properly for realsies slowing down! Not as many to compile over a three month period!#That last one really did surprise me that inspiration hit me upside the head after quite literally a month of nothing #Even my scratch pages hadn't taken precedent for a bit! And yeah this technically still isn't all of what I've made in the meanwhile lol #Once I finish Ch. 4 of Blank Slate there might be another :) Or I might let it go for another chapter or so ♪#Either way! Only took - when did I first go on hiatus lol #July of '22 so a year and a half-ish lol #To finally start to taper off - this is tapering off this is my airtight example of tapering off lol #Handplates and the Sims 2 were my big driving forces this time around hehe <3 Who knows what will catch my attention towards them next!#Lots of Todd AUs around here when I look huh :0 He is best boy he deserves the attention ♪#As always I'll be back in April as well for my personal Vargasversary and to be a sap hehe ♥#Never empty of thoughts or love! Just progressively quieter - for now ♪

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moondove330 · 4 months

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me: hmm when these dc cartoons get watered down and more Kiddy and less cinematic I’m gonna miss the darker storytelling…

Justice League circa early 2000s: hey so if the League ever takes over the planet Superman is gonna lobotomize all the extra evil villains and the earth will be under a dictatorship where it’s ok everyone is safe now (but not really) ya know that Classic Cliche plot for 10 year olds

me:

JL: also there’s this guy who can psychologically torture them in their dreams. Also there’s this caveman guy who can live forever but instead of improving humanity or something he just straight up becomes a Nazi. it ends with Superbat. (the part when superman hugs batman) Also

#xD #it's been MONTHS. i am still Agog at that episode jesus christ #i WANT to talk about these. my fave ep is the dreams one.#SUPERMAN HAS A DREAM WHERE HE KILLS LOIS AND JIMMY AND LIKE EVERYONE I GUESS AND THEN HE HIDES IN HIS SPACESHIP AT MA AND PAS #there are things to be said about that. and everyone else!! but i caaaaant find the woooords they escape me i hate writing #i Still havent finished it. the first one yeah but not Unlimited when the billion other superheroes join. i took a break xD #i can't move on and watch the rest until i say Something about it on this hellsite. or post a clips compilation. lol idk #justice league #justice league animated #ramble

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 2 years

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Hello, as we head in an unprecedented third Tory leadership crisis in the UK (lol), could you pretty please do a round-up of likely candidates? Oooh or even a round-up of candidates if it goes to general election - I know it's so unlikely but a gals gotta dream!

I've started compiling sources for a Rishi Sunak masterpost, because it's definitely going to be him (assuming I get round to it - you're all at the whims of my ADHD-riddled hyperfixating bowl of sweets that I call a brain, soz about that.) But, what's happening this week (I am writing this on Monday the 24th October) is basically Tory Leadership: Speedrun Edition.

Last time it took several months after it was narrowed to the top two. This time, they'll have it done by Friday and then maybe we'll know if fracking is back on the table or not lol.

So it's Rishi Sunak vs Penny Mordaunt. To spare me wasting too many more of my worthless man-hours, I will super-briefly summarise them:

Rishi Sunak

It's going to be him. He was Big Dog's Chancellor and conspicuously absent from Partygate photos, except for Boris' surprise birthday party; almost like, if one were of a suspicious mindset, he had a long term plan to keep his nose clean.

He is, and I want you to think about all the competition he has for this accolade and then really think about what it means, possibly the single most financially corrupt Tory in the party's history.

The amount of money he openly and blatantly stole and gave to his family and friends during the pandemic is well into the billions. The billions. He is part of the reason the UK was hit so very badly by covid - between him, Boris, Dominic Cummings and Matt Hancock, we had no chance. Rishi took BILLIONS of pounds for covid and gave the contracts to the companies of family and friends, who pocketed the vast majority and then utterly failed to deliver any covid relief resources back. He is literally a billionaire, to my knowledge. He also paid to bail out his wife after she broke some law or other and bankrupted a company (I cannot remember the details of that one offhand mind, so don't quote me there - it'll be in the full post if I write it.)

This man is a hateful gargoyle.

Penny Mordaunt

Possibly the best option, although admittedly that's like saying "Out of all the turds in the turd collection this one is the least offensive in smell."

She's hyper nationalistic to a horrifying and gross degree. However, she isn't a transphobe (or at the very least she is openly Fine With Trans People, which is what we ask for.) This actually makes her enormously unusual for a Tory. In the last leadership round, the main talking points every candidate had to address were

Did they support Boris Johnson

What will they do about the economy

What will they do about the energy crisis

How much do they hate trans people

It's probably the thing that cost her the vote last time, in fact.

She won't get it.

However, if she somehow does, that gives the Tories a very small chance of subsequently winning another GE. Rishi, on the other hand, is a hated man, by both the party and the public. The chance of him reforming them enough to win a GE against Starmer is slim to none (if he even stays in post that long). So, ultimately, if Penny gets it it's better in the short term; if Rishi gets it, it's better in the medium to long term, depending on when the next GE comes.

#asks #politik #the second clownfall of 2022

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weedsmokingbf · 7 months

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I need some help with necessities and doctor bills 😖

[ pls don't tag this post in a way that tumblr will nuke me for lol ]

Hey. I really hate to make this post where I feel like I'm writing a sob story but it's gotten to a point where people around are telling me I need to ask for help bc I'm struggling so much. Anyways, financially my family and I are not doing well... For context: I've been out of work for 2 months due to a workplace injury + workers comp will only pay for appointments regarding my right knee, where the place of injury took place. Therein lies the problem now, though... After getting my X-rays and MRI results my knee was fine, other than fluid in the spot of injury, yet I was still having leg numbness and symptoms for a bit (tmi but it's also become hard to tell when I need to go to the bathroom now too). My doctor told me my issue lies in my spine and the impact could've also affected that... I already have indications of osteoarthritis, bone spurs, as well as constant back pain I struggle with daily. My knee doesn't hurt like it was, but the bigger issue is my back now and worker's comp won't pay for that. I'm in physical therapy for my knee but not my back right now (paid for by wc). Currently, I am living with my mom after a nasty divorce where she had to pay out a shit ton of money (we've had to cut off my dad bc he's abusive and we are both mentally recovering from it. I deal w a lot of PTSD flashbacks and dissociative issues because of all this.) and she's struggling as well as I and we want to move when feasibly possible. I've been relying on her and my girlfriend if I need money for food and "mary wanna" to curb the pain I've been. My girlfriend also lives at home in an abusive situation that she's trying to move out of and is also struggling. I cannot keep relying on these people comfortably yet I'm in an extreme amount of pain where I cannot return to my cashier job where my shifts are usually 7-8 hours long. I'm going to try and open commissions soon after finishing more examples and compiling a good way to show off my different art styles. I plan on doing "Name Your Price" comms with a $5 minimum since my situation is starting to get dire. I'll add that onto the post and make another one soon but for now I'm gonna drop my accounts if you're comfortably able to help me out. My funds are gonna go towards necessities and any doctors appointments my mom's insurance won't cover. I still need to make an appointment for my spine and plan on it soon but financially I am afraid to. Thank you for reading if you've gotten this far! Hope you have a good rest of your day! ❤️

cã$hãpp: $solarsys

v3nm0: @/putridpeaches

p@yp@l: @/putridpeaches

ignore my birth name idk her 😁

#speaks #idk what 2 tag this as #im gonna close the app after i post this bc im anxious tbh but if ur interested in comms dm me

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okanra · 1 year

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It’s been quite sometime since the last time I post something here, quite eventful as well, the event kinda slapped me awake lol, but continuing the previous topic with all the “fun research” is gonna take more time to clean up the drafts (I already wrote the outline since January and the updated version in March 1st) so I’ll post it some time this month. But before that, read the next chapter in my current webseries project! It has more than 30 pages, started out in August 2022 and has finished in March this year. During the production stage of this series a lot had happened so it took 7 months for it to actually be completed 💩

That being said I also opened a Patreon in last year’s August/September! 🎉 The Patreon mostly will be used to support me during the production stage of this weberies because right now I can only spend some hours of my sleeping time to draw it. I work a lot in real life, but every single second that I’m free I currently spend it all on this personal project. And it uh, requires more brain power than I originally thought (sometimes, I can’t help thinking that I should have drawn pure fanarts and nsfw stuff and call it a day instead lol). So if you’re interest in this project and want to support me so I can pump it out faster, consider looking at http://www.patreon.com/kahnguyen (for some reasons the links don’t work in this post so I gotta type it out manually)

And now, without further ado, let’s jump into

“The Iron Woman”

Oh yeah I almost forgot! If you’re new here and are interested in getting to know more about it, links to the webseries is pinned on my page along with the previous comics📌 This webseries is a compilation of many short stories that fit into one world, one alternate (and subverted) universe and timeline, and focuses on one plot. Below is some of the preparations I made when this chapter was properly written in August 2022.

Finish the reading the brief introduction? Let’s dive back into the comic. If anyone saw some errors, no, no you didn’t see anything 😌

NEXT UPDATE

#goten #chichi #trunks #dragon ball #truten in high school au #my comic #dragon ball z #dbz

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jakeyt · 1 year

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Covet: Chapter 2

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great.

Was.

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home.

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in.

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: descriptions of past toxic relationship/cheating; consumption of alcohol; anxiety; mentions of sex/sexual situations; Jake being an asshole; Reader takes an extra Melatonin (doctor's advice)

Chapter Word Count: 8.1k

Covet Masterlist

a/n: wooohooo! we have come to chapter 2!

please forgive me for how long this took to be posted. i am a school teacher, and the end of year is the most hectic. 🫠 so, busyness combined with my need to make sure i personally feel good enough with a chapter to post it. . . it’s not a good combo. lmao although, summer is right around the corner! and i promise when it comes, covet will get much more of my attention!!

reminder that this is a ~slow burn~ in its truest form.

i <3 and appreciate you all!! i truly can’t say thank you enough for the support and kind words (it means so much, esp w/ this being my first gvf fic). i love hearing feedback from each and every one of you!!

alright, i will be done w/ my rambling. i apologize on behalf of myself. lol

hope you enjoy, my loves.

Disclaimer: this is absolutely, undoubtedly 110% a work of fiction. i do not claim to know greta van fleet. i do not claim that any of this actually occurred. again, this is a complete work of fiction. And, please, DO NOT steal this work, as it is 110% mine. plagiarism isillegal. and, as our friend google puts it, plagiarism is “illegal if it infringes an author's intellectual property rights.” and, being these words/ideas are my intellectual property rights. . .don’t take them. legal action will be taken if you take credit for any of my work.

🌼🌼🌼

Chapter 2

The first month of living with Jake went about as smoothly as one would expect.

His first full day in the apartment, you’d woken up, ready to be nice. Really. You’d tried your hardest to forget about how he’d acted when he had made his grand entrance.

But he wasn’t giving up on his act.

When you’d been standing at the coffee maker in the kitchen that first morning, loading your K-Cup, he’d stopped at the counter. You didn’t know what for, but when you noticed him there, you had tried to start a conversation. Some meaningless small talk to try and break the ice he’d created.

And his only response? A barely audible hum.

You did give him credit for glancing up to at least acknowledge your presence. Although, that’s the bare minimum of basic human decency. So, you didn’t give him much credit.

But, that had been it. And then, he’d left for the day.

It had instantly caused you to be pissed at everything. Including the coffee maker’s little unnecessary spurts as it poured coffee into your mug.

Every day since then had gone about the same, sometimes with even less interaction than that. And to you, the lack of desire to even try to associate with you was offensive.

After all, you were the person who had literally given him a place to live.

To make things worse, he was that kind of asshole that you couldn’t seem to get out of your head. It really just confirmed how truly repulsive he was.

You had gotten an idea midway through that first month to begin compiling a list of apartment rules.

Initially, it had seemed pointless. Then, you reminded yourself that you were worth better treatment. You knew you deserved for Jake to show at least a sliver of respect towards you in your home.

🌼🌼🌼

You decided to tell Josh of the rules you’d crafted.

“I will be very honest, I really don’t know how well those will go over, Y/N.”

He was giving you a look that instantly made you go into defense mode.

“Joshua. It’s been a month,” you matched his look with one of your own. You wanted your point to be known. You were going to make damn sure that Josh understood why you wanted to do this. “Josh, he still barely even looks at me. I think rules would give us some sort of common ground. And it would force him to show the place—and me—some respect.”

“Jake has never been one to want to follow the rules — do what he’s told,” he scratched the buzzed side of his head, right above his ear.

You stood with a hand on your waist, right under your thrifted crop top. You eyed him, making sure he knew he needed to elaborate.

You didn’t know much at all about your roommate.

You’d been waiting for Josh to share more, but he didn’t share much. He claimed that it wasn’t his place. You were desperate though. All you knew about Jake was that he was your best friend’s twin, what his record choices were, that he had been in an apparently crappy relationship, and the fact that he was an ungrateful asshole.

Josh relented slightly. “I’ll tell you this story because it involves me as well. And we were so young,” he leaned with his back against the checkout counter, facing away from customers. “When we were in our freshman year of high school, he played soccer while I participated in theatre. He enjoyed it and he was actually quite good at it, you know,” Josh smiled, obviously replaying memories. “But, high school classes grew increasingly harder. We both struggled, honestly. We love to learn more. . . I mean, you know this about me. He’s the same way. But we really only enjoy doing it most when it concerns the subjects for which we’re passionate.

So, high school work being less than interesting to us both, our grades dropped. Big time,” his eyes widened, once again reliving it all. At this point, he was staring into space to tell the story. “Our parents and teachers came down on us hard. They told us we would be kicked out of our extracurricular activities if we didn’t raise our grades.”

You shook your head, looking around the store. A couple of regulars were perusing. You knew them well enough to know it would be awhile until they were done. “I know exactly where this is going.”

You both made eye contact then, and as he looked your way, he gave a little closed-mouth grin that made his eyes crinkle. “Yeah? Guess.”

You smirked at your friend. “You, being you, were determined to show that you had what it took to make the grade. You cared enough about theatre to continue it,” he nodded at your words. “And, in the time I’ve known you, you’ve never been one to say no to a challenge. It’s why we are friends. I love a good challenge.”

He made a noise of agreeance. Then, his eyebrows raised and his lips turned down. The look he gave you told you he was impressed. “You know me well,” he continued. “Now, how well do you know your roommate?”

You scoffed. “As you know, not fucking well. But I know he couldn’t give two shits about what others think of him,” you pointed to yourself. “I’m a shining example. So, —.”

“Essentially, he said ‘fuck it’ and just decided to continue on with what he had been doing in his classes, which was jack shit,” Josh had finished for you, wanting to complete the story he’d begun.

“How did he even pass high school?”

He gave you a deadpan stare and raised his eyebrows. You rolled your eyes. At the same time, you both said:

“Girls.”

You rolled your eyes even harder this time. “Good God.”

Josh nodded, lips turned down, his eyes still held a little glint. “Yup. Get my point now?”

“Yeah, but like I just said, I’m not one to turn down a challenge. Just like you, Josh,” you smiled at a customer who was finally walking up to the counter, a few records in hand. “And your brother. . .I’ve learned he is nothing if not a challenge.”

He nodded, he knew you were right. And he’d known you long enough to know that you did indeed enjoy overcoming any problem life may hand you.

In this instance, you hoped he understood your current challenge/problem was Jake.

And you needed to know how to fix it. Josh was your only source. You just had to get him to break for more information.

Again, you really liked a good challenge.

🌼🌼🌼

The shift rolled on. The two of you had been working the closing shift that day.

So, as the day shifted to evening, and with about an hour before the store closed up, you started nightly duties. Josh went about straightening vinyls, fixed the ‘Featured’ wall (his favorite), and re-folded the shirts the store carried with the Black and Gold’s logo.

Meanwhile, you swept and dusted the store.

You hated to admit it. You really did. But you couldn’t help how the conversation from earlier had piqued your interest even more than before.

You were now hooked. You wanted to learn more about your mysterious roommate.

You debated how you were going to ask Josh for more information. What was a way you could ask that would convince him to tell you more about his twin?

Ever since Jake had moved in, you’d tried so desperately to get information out of Josh.

And he just refused to budge.

You were putting the broom away when you’d settled on how to ask him.

You were going to be a jackass and use manipulation.

You sucked, you knew this. You were just dying to know more about this person with whom you shared your home. And, to reiterate, it had been a damn month of knowing next to nothing about him.

So, when you joined Josh behind the counter as he balanced the register, you were ready to play your hand.

“Alright, so, Elsie still isn’t sure if she wants to be in your movie.” There it was. A complete lie using your sister— the one he was completely smitten with. In truth, Elsie had agreed on the spot.

But, again, desperation had led you to this.

You didn’t look up from your task of watering the plants that sat at the window. Just keep talking. “I have a proposition for you. You tell me more about Jake and I will convince her with everything I have to star in your film.”

You still didn’t look over to him. You were afraid of rejection. Then, you heard what seemed to be a sigh of defeat out of your best friend. You looked up to him, his eyes still reading uncertainty.

“Y/N,” he sighed. You knew he was about to say the same thing he had said for the past month.

“I know, Josh. It’s not your story,” you moved forward to be standing right next to him. You balanced your elbow on the counter, you needed to say your piece—needed him to understand. You locked eyes with him, pleading. “Come on, Josh. I am desperate. He won’t offer anything up. He is silent. It’s been a month. He refuses to acknowledge my presence, hence me forcing him to notice me with the rules,” you paused, suddenly looking to the ground. You needed Josh to bend to your vulnerability. “But, I just need something else. You told me that one story earlier,” you urged. “Just something else small that might help me know him a bit better than I do now.”

You looked up. You were anticipating another rejection from him after you’d finished babbling. Though, his eyes seemed to open more at your apparent state of helplessness.

He knew that it wasn’t fair what Jake was putting you through. He had to acknowledge that. You knew he felt most things with you. And you knew he was someone who had enough integrity to want to help you out. He knew this situation had been less than ideal.

He just had to loosen up on his stance of not wanting to tell his brother’s stories.

He released one more sigh. “Fine,” he looked you in the eyes. “And please try your hardest to get your sister convinced to star in my film. The role was created for her.”

You nodded. You looked to the ground once more at that last part. You felt guilty for using that little white lie. “You’ve got it.”

“Y/N.”

You looked up to him after he’d spoken your name in a tone that was much more serious than his usual.

His brown irises were intent as he spoke. “You have to know I’m breaking a big rule of mine,” he continued. “I don’t like speaking to stories that belong to other people. Our experiences are unique to us. They deserve to be told by those to whom they happened.”

You nodded. You understood his point. You totally knew why he felt the way he did.

“Josh, you can just tell me childhood stories that involve both of you,” you grabbed his arm. You needed him to know you were being genuine. “I don’t want to make you betray your principles.”

He patted the hand you’d placed on his arm. “I appreciate that, Y/N,” he cleared his throat. “I just think you need to know some of the—,” he spread his hands out to emphasize, then clapped them back together. “The bigger pieces of him. At the moment, he won’t let himself show you who he is. He really isn’t a bad person. He’s just been through a hell of a lot recently.”

All you could do was nod your head once. There wasn’t much left for you to say. You would let the curly headed man begin when he was ready.

He eyed the clock. You looked with him. Only thirty minutes to eight o’clock.

You looked down to your palms, wiping them on your jeans. They were suddenly getting clammy at the prospect of what information could be hitting you within the next 30 minutes.

“I’m going to begin by saying that as his five-minutes-older brother, I’m glad that Jake gets to finally live life for himself without having to worry about being hung up on a girl,” he looks to the two folded chairs that always sit behind the counter. “Let’s sit.”

You follow him to the chairs. And as he sits in the right chair, you sit in the left. He looks into space, contemplating what to say next.

“Jake is seriously going through something he has never experienced before. I mean, your significant other being unfaithful to you sucks anyhow. But she’s been all he’s known for so long. . . This is a complete life upheaval for him, of sorts,” he pauses. “He and this girl — they truly were together for a long time. What are he and I . . . 24 now?”

You nod.

“Well, they got together when we were juniors in high school. That would make this relationship about seven years old,” he sighs. “Long time to be together—and it began when they were really only kids.”

You nod again, coaxing him on.

“So, since they were together that long. . . there was a lot that happened between them in high school alone, but then you have post-high school when he set his life plan on the back burner for her. We had these plans — big ones. A dream we’d shared. All of us. Sammy and Danny included.”

You were wondering what the dream could have been. “What was the dream?”

Josh shook his head. “It was Jake’s first. We all followed along behind him,” he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. “It wouldn’t be right for me to share.”

You were left wondering at that, but you did understand why Josh didn’t want to share. There was honor in that. And he wouldn’t be Josh if he didn’t show his honor, especially by showing loyalty to those he loved.

“So, his dream. . .,” you exaggerated the word by using your hands as jazz hands. “It went down the tubes?”

Josh gave you a look. It was a look that told you to take a step back and try to understand.

You relented.

You knew it was only right to put your grumpiness with Jake aside for this story. Josh was showing vulnerability on his brother’s behalf. Plus, you’d been the one to force Josh out of his moral values to divulge Jake things. It wasn’t right to act anything but respectful to these tellings of Jake. For Josh’s sake alone.

And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t dying to hear more. Learning of Jake’s past was like satisfying this raging itch.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was quiet.

The edges of Josh’s eyes wrinkled as he gave you a reassuring grin. “It’s okay,” he patted your knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I know why you’re blunt about him. I know the man’s entire range of emotions. He acts like a child when he— when his emotions are so big and bad.”

“And right now,” you started. Your heart was growing slightly soft. “He is feeling the most emotions.”

Josh shook his head to agree. “Though, this girl was always a pill,” he rolled his eyes. “I liked her a lot at first, truly. But she started flirting with me an awful lot to be dating my brother,” his body shook as if to shake the memory. “It’s honestly not a shock to me that their relationship ended the way it did.”

Though, as soon as the last words had left his mouth, he looked down to consider them. He was weighed down by an emotion he didn’t need to speak out loud for you to know. Guilt.

It was your turn to reach a hand over to touch his knee. You just sat your hand there and told him. “You cannot blame yourself for any of this.”

He continued looking down. “I should have talked to him about how she would make advances. . . To warn him. Maybe he would have never gone and he could have—.”

He placed a palm to his forehead, eyes closing. He was going to get lost in this thought if you didn’t stop him.

“Josh, she was a terrible person all along,” you placed a hand on his back, rubbing his right shoulder blade. “Jake isn’t a stupid person. He can’t be. You aren’t. And he’s your twin brother. He could have noticed the signs if he wanted to. It was his responsibility to drop her when he had the chance,” you gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Before any of this happened. Apparently he just loved her too much to fully acknowledge what he needed to do.”

You gave him a couple of minutes to really think about that. Then, finally, he lifted his head. “He wouldn’t have listened to me anyways,” He had a gleam in his eye. “My brother is a stubborn asshole,” he chuckled a little. “If you haven’t noticed.”

You gave him a look that said ‘No? Really?’ That turned a few more giggles loose from his chest.

He continued, letting his tone become serious again. “So, our senior year, Jake really started getting serious about his dream. We all made these real plans, but they were ruined,” he paused, his mouth becoming a straight line. He was remembering a moment that caused a particular annoyance. “That was until she brought up how she wanted him to move with her if she got accepted to this prestigious school in Illinois,” he cleared his throat. “It makes me angry that she asked, but I also get wanting to ask your serious significant other to move with you. It was different—more than that, though.

Her selfishness was so prominent so often; I think that’s why her asking rubbed me so wrong then, and still does now. She knew if she asked, he’d go. He’d leave his own aspirations in the dust for her. She knew what he wanted—what he’d always wanted. But still, she deemed her choices, her career, more important.”

You nodded, completely seeing eye-to-eye with your best friend. “I think there’s this sense of justice in you for your brother that he hasn’t always seemed to have for himself.”

“Yes!” Josh’s expression was one of relief that you understood. “And the thing with Jake is

. . . He’s always—girls have—,” he paused, gathering his thoughts. “As soon as his hormones kicked in when we were younger, he started noticing girls. He indulged himself in all of that,” Josh lifted his eyebrows. “He really has a strong appreciation for women, I’ll say that.”

You rolled your eyes, nodding and then crossing your arms, sitting back. Your stomach leaped in a way you chose to ignore at the mention of his appreciation for women. To you, it was ludicrous that he couldn’t appreciate you in some capacity. If he needed sex in order to appreciate a woman, you were not the one.

“A big piece of him changed when girls started becoming involved. He lost a piece of himself. It’s almost as though he didn’t see himself as worthy without one. And now—.”

“And that’s why it’s so hard for him right now,” you finished the statement, bringing yourself back. “He’s lost a sense of his identity. . .

having to find out who he is without a woman.”

Josh clicked his tongue, a smirk showing with a dimple in his cheek. “Precisely. It’s been a while for him,” a little spark caught in his eye. “On the drive moving him here, I told him that he needs to take a fucking break from women until he starts understanding what it means to think of what he wants first,” he rubbed at his forehead. “I know it seems like a terrible thing for me to say, but I think it’s important for him to put himself first for once in his goddamned life. He deserves to know who he is without a woman claiming him as her own.”

“Because he is worth knowing himself for who he is,” you concluded.

“Aw, Y/N. . . You growing a soft spot for Jakey?” Josh smiled smugly at you.

You held eye contact with him for a few seconds and then laughed outright at his statement. “You’re funny,” you looked to the clock, realizing you were only a couple of minutes from closing. You got up from the foldable chair and went to grab your purse from a hook behind the desk.

Josh followed your lead, but stopped to look for his phone. He tapped at all of his pockets. Then, coming up short, he looked around the register and the checkout counter.

You helped him look. But, the sound of Gloria Gaynor belting that “she will survive” helped you locate it easier. You saw it light up, sitting atop a box of new records at the back of the shop.

You groaned, already walking to get it for him.

“Josh, you have got to be better about keeping track of your phone.”

Josh tsked at you, “And you have got to be better about not bossing me around,” he turned off the lights around the register. “I refuse to be a slave to such a tiny device that doesn’t serve any purpose to my spiritual healing.”

You rolled your eyes at him, though you knew he was right. As you approached his phone, you got one final glimpse at the caller ID picture. It had been a picture of Jake.

Even though you had just taken a deep dive into Jake’s past and grown a tiny fraction of sympathy and understanding for him. . .his picture still made you want to punch things.

As much as his recent past had sucked, he treated you with such blatant disrespect for someone who had offered their home to him.

When you traipsed back over to Josh, he was waiting for you at the door, hand already on the doorknob to leave. “Jake called you.”

Josh turned around. His back was facing you and a thumb pointed behind him. “Pocket,” he said.

You snickered a little bit and did as he told you. Josh was choosing you over his prick of a brother and, quite frankly, you were bursting at the seams.

🌼🌼🌼

You were not ready to go home to more awkwardness and Josh could tell as much, so he invited you to get a quick drink after work with him.

He filled you in on everything else he deemed necessary as you drank a couple of margaritas on the rocks, him settling on just one Salty Dog.

Josh told a few finishing details about how much it had sucked to be separated from his womb mate for so many years.

“It honestly felt like I was cut off from him.”

Your heart hurt for him. “I’m glad he is nearer to you now,” you paused, curious. “Did he miss you that much too?”

Josh set a look on you, “Who was the first person he called after it happened? He was ready to be with me again,” he put a hand over his heart. “Came back to his understanding, sensitive twin . . . every moon needs its sun.”

You gave a conceding nod and shrug. “Fair,” you smiled. “You're obviously the sun.”

“Obviously,” he flashed a smile your way. “He might not admit it right now, but he was not at his happiest with her,” he stated. “As ironic or untrue it may seem with his moodiness, I think if he isn’t already, Jake is on his way to feeling the most free he has in a long time. I’m glad to have him back with me. Being away from each other wasn’t good for either of us.”

Your heart swelled for the tenderhearted man next to you. You watched as he looked off into space with what could only be described as a soft sort of pensiveness. You were happy for your friend, despite how Jake was acting or made you feel.

You felt your head get slightly light from the alcohol on an almost empty stomach from being at work nearly all day. You were still so curious, you wanted to know more.

“So, how did it happen?”

“Well, all I know is she was getting quite distant for a while, but Jacob thought she was only distracted by her job. Gave her the benefit of the doubt, let her do her thing and just followed along,” he gave you a look. “He did that much too often. My brother isn’t a puppy dog, but he followed her around like one,” Josh’s jaw clenched and he scratched at his bare chin. “One would say that he loved her. But as his twin, if my telepathic brain is worth anything, I believe that more than love, Jake shared so much with her when they were young that he felt obligated to follow her lead. . .no matter what.”

“And that makes you angry.”

“Oh, quite,” he continued, eyebrows bunched together. “The way he put it when he told me of the situation was that it was as though she was,” he held up air quotes. “‘Shooting the shit.’”

“Just told him like it was no big deal?” You shook your head. “That’s harsh.”

“More than that, told him in a way that made it seem like she was already done. Essentially, his reaction meant nothing to her. She just needed to tell him in order to end things,” he continued. “She told him it had been going on for quite some time and that she didn’t think they could make it work after it all.”

“What did she do after she told him? What happened after?”

Alcohol was interacting with your senses. Otherwise, you wouldn’t show open curiosity like this. You were sure of it.

“Well, she left,” He chewed his lip lightly. “Left Jake to deal with the aftermath — the knowledge of it all — by himself. She went to stay with a friend and he had exactly a week to get his shit together and move out. So, being the decent and thoughtful person he is,” you made a sound. Josh gave you a look. “He respected her wishes and got the hell out.”

You really had no words for the situation. It was horrid for Jake, you had to admit. You felt bad for him. You really did. Even though he pissed you off beyond belief, you still knew he was deserving of better than any of what she had put him through.

You just wished he wouldn’t react in a way that made him become an utter jerk. Due to his attitude, you couldn’t claim that you knew the person who seemed so selfless and loving in Josh’s stories.

The person you knew was the opposite of the one told in Josh’s tales.

You only knew a self-centered jerk who held absolutely no respect for you in any way.

You hated to admit to yourself just how much you wished to know the person Josh had told you about this evening.

🌼🌼🌼

As Josh dropped you off at the stoop to your apartment that night, he shared with you an idea that had come to him.

“This weekend. We need to do something this weekend.”

You quickly agreed, “Yes! I’d love to have a weekend that’s just us. . .like old times.”

“Actually,” he scuffed the bottom of his white sneaker against the stair step he stood on. He eyed you. “How about we involve Sammy and Danny?”

You could be okay with that. Then suddenly, your stomach flipped. “What about Jake?”

He met your eyes. “He would join. All of us. Game night.”

“Josh,” his name came out like a child’s whine. “Why?”

He put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “It will be good for both of you. He’ll get to be around you with others and you’ll get to be around him while he’s with people he already knows and feels most comfortable with,” he squeezed lightly at your shoulder. “It will be great. He’ll come out of his shell, and surely he’ll act a little more like himself if he’s around myself and the other two.”

Your stomach rolled at the idea of actually spending any sort of time with Jake.

Establishing rules? Sure, you could do that. It might take 10 minutes max. But an extended amount of time actually hanging out?

You agreed to it before Josh left you that night, even though you had your hesitations.

You wanted to bring some joy to the man that had been there for you through so much. You were also desperate to look like the bigger person in this situation. And, surely agreeing to this would make Josh see that you were trying when Jake wasn’t.

You needed Josh to see the trueness of your heart in all of this, no matter how much bitterness his brother had caused you.

When you’d entered your home that evening, the lights had all been off. Jake’s door was closed. He was asleep. Thank God.

As you stood at the bathroom mirror taking off your makeup, you convinced yourself it would be fine. You could find positives. You’d hung out with the other three before. You all got along very well in a group setting and honestly always had a great time. That part would be all right.

You just had to convince yourself that Jake wouldn’t ruin it by simply being there with his persistent little dark cloud of distemper.

By the time you tucked yourself under your covers, you decided no matter what, you would have a fun time. If only for the benefit of the other boys and yourself.

You were also determined to show the best parts of yourself to Jake. A darker part of you wanted him to feel slightly (very) guilty for how he’d been treating his simply incredible roommate.

But before game night, you had to talk to him about your rules. You weren’t looking forward to him blowing you off. You had a terrible idea that would be the response you’d get to you speaking to him.

But you still had to try.

🌼🌼🌼

You thought through the best time to go over the rules with him, and decided the day before your night with the guys was the best option.

Your mind had settled on Jake taking two possible routes with the conversation. You figured going over them on that Friday before would work for both of these possibilities.

One possibility was that he would sulk and pout and react like an asshole, and doing it on Friday would give him an entire day to do so. The second option was that he could very possibly just straight up ignore you like he usually did. And, you thought it best to do it a day before he would be forced to associate with you.

It also seemed fitting to do so on the day that marked almost an entire month of him living with you. You were only one day away from it having been a whole month of him sharing your home. What a perfect time to actually acknowledge and officially, really talk to you.

Time for him to realize all you were was a super kind person. A person who offered him shelter when there was virtually nowhere else for him to go.

He needed to respect you and your hospitality.

You had gotten used to him usually arriving home by six every night. So, you loomed in the living room until he got home around six that evening.

And almost right at 6 o’clock, you heard his keys jingle in the lock.

As soon as he walked in and saw you leaning against the couch, he stopped to stare at you. It was an awkward-ass stare that made you want to slap him right across the smooth skin of his tanned cheek.

He was just infuriating.

“Hey,” you started, trying to sound easygoing. You didn’t know why you were nervous, but you were.

“Hi,” his response was spoken as a question.

You knew that you standing there probably seemed extremely odd to the man.

You didn’t care if it made him feel uncomfortable. He deserved it after making you feel edgy for the last month in your own home.

He started to move on from you, already deciding to disregard you.

“So,” you started, sticking to the assignment. And, surprisingly when you spoke, he stopped in his tracks. “I think I’ve decided it might be a good idea to make some apartment rules.”

With his back facing you, you saw him shake his head. His wavy locks caught the streams of the evening sun’s yellow glow, making the head shake that much more offensive.

When he still didn’t turn around, you continued. “You can go change your clothes if you want,” you folded your arms tighter to your chest. “I’ll wait out here.”

He then turned, crossed back to the kitchen counter and dropped his keys in the key bowl you’d had since Elsie lived at the apartment. Then finally, he faced you.

Your stomach did a little flip. Why were you nervous to establish these rules for your apartment? You just needed to get it over with.

He raised his eyebrows and gave you a look that said ‘so?’

His face showed that he was already irritated. It was like the mere act of standing across from you was too much. Being forced to interact with you was a hassle.

And instantly, you were irked. Could he be any more ridiculous?

Admittedly, you were also already done with this talk. Screw him. You heatedly whipped your phone out of the back pocket of your jean shorts. You clicked through to your notes, where you’d started the rule list.

You started with the most agreeable rules.

“The first rule: don’t go in each other’s rooms. I think that’s common sense, but just in case it needs to be stated,” you moved on. “Number two: if we buy food or drinks, they belong to us and only us. I was thinking we could even make two separate sides of the fridge. One side for yours and one for mine.”

You looked up when you heard him take a breath. You looked at him just in time to see him breathe out a tight-lipped sigh, a mocking smirk on his face as he bugged his eyes.

You chose to ignore him, blatantly rolling your eyes and looked back to your phone.

“Rule number three: do your own dishes and do your best to keep the sink empty. Rule number four: keep our common spaces clean. You know, kitchen, dining room, living room, bathroom. . .clean up after yourself,” you glanced at him, seeing that he was looking into space, eyes still huge. His arms were crossed across his chest as yours had been. “Rule five: do your own laundry. And I think switching off every other day for whose laundry day it is would be a good idea. I get Monday, you get Tuesday, I get Wednesday. . .and so on.”

You paused, giving him room for notes if he had any. His face held a look you couldn’t quite read.

“Any thoughts?” You questioned.

He gave a little chuckle that seemed to mock the same air you’d just spoken the rules to. It was insulting. Still, you wanted to hear from him. So you waited.

And after a solid two minutes of just standing there, he loudly exhaled. His hand combed through the front of his hair, pushing it back. His eyes blinked a couple of times afterwards. “You seem to have it all nailed down, roomie.”

“Well, thanks,” you hesitantly responded. You were pleased that he was okay with what you’d shared so far. But his mention of the nickname seemed more snarky than anything.

“No, I mean,” he cleared his throat, rubbing at his chin. “You’ve got it nailed down. Like, you left no room for any ‘notes.’”

You scoffed at the air quotes he gave the word. “I’ve hardly ‘nailed it down’,” you gave your own air quotes for his words. “These are just an outline of ideas I have.”

“Just keep going,” he sighed as though he was completely exasperated and tucked both hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I have a date in like an hour.”

“A date?”

“And it’s your business how?”

“You just told me,” you argued. “That’s how.”

“Didn’t mean you could ask questions about it,” he bit back. “I was just telling you so you would know I don’t have time to just stand here and listen to you drag on about these ‘rules’.”

You shook your head, shocked at how rude a person could be. Completely in awe of the man, you decided you would continue. You were ready to be rid of him.

“Fine,” you angrily pressed your phone back on. “Speaking of dates. . .Rule six: when you have a date over, please keep them out of the common areas and remember the walls are thin. . . In general, no especially loud music, no loud. . .,” you cleared your throat and your skin prickled with embarrassment. “. . . anything else.”

“Oh,” he seemed interested. Figured. If it had to do with a woman, his interest was suddenly piqued. “That also applies to you and Josh, I assume?”

“What?!” You were suddenly very disturbed at that statement. “Josh and me? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

He tilted his head down, his eyes sticking onto yours, hair falling to swing next to his face. “Seriously? You apparently know the walls are thin as shit. And our rooms are right next door, so I can hear the two of you stay up all hours of the night talking,” he looked to the side, his eyebrows raising. “Who knows what the hell else you both do after I fall asleep. You are both touchy as fuck with one another, so I’ll just let my mind wander with what happens behind closed doors.”

You started laughing hysterically at the whole statement Jake had just made. You couldn’t even gather your thoughts. Shocked was an understatement for how Jake’s assumptions left you feeling.

“Are you kidding me?” You stepped towards him, pointing a finger in his direction. “Of course you would assume a friendship is more than what it actually is. Hopeless fuckin’ roma—.”

You stopped yourself. You had almost called him a hopeless romantic. How would you even begin to explain that you knew enough about him to call him that?

He took a step forward, his jaw clenched. He crossed his arms across his chest again. His chest seemed to continue to rise with his irritation. His fingers were digging into his biceps, clad in his light blue button-up.

“No, finish. Please.”

Your blood pressure was rising, you felt your skin prickling with embarrassment and guilt. Your heart was racing. You shouldn’t have exploded and almost exposed what Josh had told you. You couldn’t betray Josh’s trust like that. You were being errant. You knew an anxiety attack was on the horizon if you didn’t stop soon. Betraying someone you love was known to bring you to tears quicker than almost anything else.

You also couldn’t deny how bad you felt for referring to something that was probably still a sensitive topic to your roommate. As much as you despised him, you didn’t have to be so overtly uncool towards him in a hard time.

“Let’s just keep on with the rules,” you tried to calm yourself down. You didn’t need to have an anxiety attack in front of him. That was the last thing you needed. “Please?”

He seemed to catch on to your nerves. And luck seemed to be on your side with how he relented so quickly. He still seemed a little irked, but his eyes were softer than they were before.

“Go on.”

You breathed in and out once, then situated your nerves the best you could to finish.

“I, um, I thought it would be cool to add a little something that would help keep us accountable for getting to know each other,” you didn’t want to meet his eyes, so you kept yours glued to the screen of your phone. “We both love music, so I was thinking. . .Rule seven: we switch off every other night and play a record on the record player. One of our own choosing. It would give us a good idea of who we’re living with.”

“Because the music we love really says so much about who we are,” he agreed honestly.

You looked up after he’d spoken, and the look on his face as he looked down said he hadn’t meant to speak it out loud. His eyebrows knitted together like he had conflict within himself. He didn’t want you to know he thought similarly to you, you were sure of it. He’d let his precious little guard down the slightest, smallest bit.

You couldn’t help it when a teeny-tiny grin landed on your lips. You shook it away before he could possibly see.

“Yep. Totally,” you said very quietly in response. But you knew he heard you when he blinked a couple times and then ran a hand through his hair, bringing his head back up in the process.

He was making you feel very antsy, and his date would be here soon. So, you tried to finish quickly.

“And finally, rule eight: we keep a work schedule posted to the fridge so we’re aware of when the other one will be at home. It will be helpful to know if the other one is at work; just in case of an emergency or anything, I thought it’d be helpful.”

You looked up as you finished, he was now leaning back against the kitchen counter. His amber-brown eyes stayed locked on yours earnestly for a bit. You felt your cheeks heat. Then he asked, “And you’re sure there’s not anything else?”

You shook your head ‘no’.

His previously haughty tone was coming back when he spoke next. “How do you expect me to remember all of these things? And we'll post our schedules on the fridge?”

You couldn’t help it as your heart leapt the slightest bit. He still wasn’t completely rejecting any of the rules. In fact, unless he was somehow being sarcastic, he even wanted a way to remember them.

“I—I’ll print it all out at work and put everything on the fridge,” you shoved your phone into your back pocket. “I’ll even include a place for our phone numbers, just in case we ever need those.” You added, "And we can just post our schedules when we get them every week."

He nodded once. He looked up at the ceiling then, obviously done with the conversation. You didn’t blame him. You really were too.

You were suddenly longing for him to ignore you again. His presence was making you tense. You didn’t know how to act around him. You hadn’t had that problem with anyone for a long time.

The last time was probably middle school when no one knew how to act around each other.

But now as an adult woman? You hated that someone made you feel like this.

And in your own home, no less.

He pushed off the counter and started to his room. Then, only steps from his room, he turned on his boot to face you, he held a look of blatant vexation.

Ugh, what now? You thought.

“Do we really have to have our own sections for our food and drinks in the fridge? Why don’t we just put our initials on things that belong to us?” He reasoned. “I’ll even buy the damned Sharpie.”

You couldn’t find a way to dispute his suggestion in the moment. You could agree with that. “Yeah, sounds good. Good idea.”

He gave an almost-smile (couldn’t show too much cordiality), “I have a few of those every once in a while.”

He then got a smug grin on his face, “Oh, and you might want to get some earplugs for tonight. . .paper thin walls and all that.”

“Jake,” you were stunned at the audacity. Your shoulders tightened up. “Seriously?”

He set his head back, raising his eyebrows up. A smirk raised his lips, “Nowhere on that rules list did you say I’m not allowed to bring women over. And I really can’t control whether or not I make them scream,” he set you with a stare, raising a brow. “And I’ve gotta say, that’s always been a pretty normal occurrence,” he paused. “And I most likely wouldn’t have been too keen on following a ‘no women’ rule anyway, so.”

“Asshole,” You scoffed, your thighs quivered. The disdain he caused you floated through your whole body. “A little full of yourself?”

“Alright then, don’t plug your ears,” his smirk only grew. “You’ll hear for yourself tonight. Post-breakup recovery fuck, y’know? Gotta get some of this lingering tension out of my system,” he shook his shoulders and arms out to emphasize his words.

Your skin grew angry goosebumps at the thought of everything he’d just said to you. You were amazed by him. Truly.

Not in a good way. Not amazed in the sense he’d wanted you to be.

He turned on his heel to continue the walk to his room, and you just stood in your spot. Your bare toes dug into the carpet, waiting to hear his door click.

Once finally alone, you let out a breath you’d apparently been holding. You shook your head at his repulsive words. You were utterly shocked that he would say any of that to you. What the heck?

This interaction had shown you that it was obviously too much for him to be a pleasant human for an extended period of time.

And he had no issue making you feel completely on edge.

Distasteful son of a bitch.

You wanted to go hide in your bedroom for the night. You didn’t want to chance running into him again.

You stomped to your room. You had had enough of Jake Kiszka for one night.

🌼🌼🌼

You downed the recommended 2-pill dose of melatonin that evening, but snuck in one extra with a giant swig of water.

Jake had left about an hour prior and you’d be damned if he woke you up with any sex-related noises.

You were ready to get some sleep anyway, completely tired after the stress you’d dealt with. Your doctor had suggested melatonin to induce necessary rest after any anxious episodes.

You knew you were to blame for a part of the stress, sticking your foot in your mouth the way you had. But Jake was the main culprit of the stress.

And you were done with him ruling your emotions for the evening.

🌼🌼🌼

And of course, the next morning, Jake was stuck in your head.

You hated it. It wasn’t because you wanted him there. It was thanks to a ridiculous dream that had plagued you during the night.

Your sleep had graced you with a reminder of the moment you’d almost outed your knowledge of his past. But in the vision, you weren’t feeling the onslaught of nerves you’d originally felt in the moment anymore.

No, in this version of it, all you could focus on was the vision of his chest, how it had been heaving in the midst of his irritation.

And it wasn’t even a covered chest that haunted your dream. No, it was his chest that seemed to be persistently bare. The bronzed, silky-smooth chest you’d seen one too many times in the month he’d lived with you.

You couldn’t understand how he was 24 years old and still didn’t know how to button his shirts past two buttons. It maddened you that he didn’t know how to button his entire shirt. His toned light brown, sun-kissed chest was distracting in a way you wished it wasn’t.

All you wanted was to escape your roommate. And now he was literally haunting your dreams.

You had chosen to deny how you’d woken up with sweat on your forehead, hair stuck to your equally sweaty face. You weren’t going to let him have that control over you. Not even in your dreams.

And now, you were completely dreading spending the evening with him in any capacity.

You just hoped Josh came armed with damn good booze for game night. You desperately needed to get out of your head.

🌼🌼🌼

a/n: next chapter is game night! we’ll finally get introduced to sammy and danny <3

there is sooo much to come. i can’t wait to share more with you all. like i’ve previously mentioned, their story is quite the rollercoaster. our beloved roomies are both very stubborn . . . it’ll make for a grand ‘ol time! lmao

i hope you enjoyed!! plz message me & let me know what you thought! hearing from you guys is just so wonderful! let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future chapters!! <3

taglist:

@joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @jaketlover, @writingcold, @jessicafg03, @gretavangroove, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @reesetrippingthelight, @lallisonl, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @Fretaganvleet, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @whollyfreeamongstthestars, @llightmyllovee, @sacredjake (even if it seemed to refuse to tag, i still tried - ugh! i apologize for any weirdness of the tagging. if i missed you, please let me know! i think i included everyone, but it's def possible i accidentally left someone out.)

#jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #greta van fleet fic #josh kiszka fic #sam kiszka #danny wagner #greta van fleet #jake kiszka smut #eventually #jake fic #covet #my fics

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fayrinferno · 5 months

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The (printed) collection

From time to time I get a question like, "do you have this or that book?" So, a few weeks back, I finally took them all out of their hiding place and grabbed some photos. Wish I had used my camera instead of phone, I had to stand on a chair to get it all and yeah, the picture is not the sharpest.

Anyway, I have some other stuff, figures and such, although I admittedly DO focus more on books as an artist/writer/translator. These books are the ones I translate from so I wasn't going for mint conditions, although a few of them are. You can see some of them still packed in the store bags. I included the CDs cause... well, they were next to the books and they do have some printed material as well.

The Shiren Suiki book gets a separate photo cause after taking the photos at home I realized I had left it at work when I scanned it... practically crying as I did cause it was barely opened when I bought it and it's a beautiful book. My Anvils are also very fragile.

I may do a complete list one day but for now, here are the quick descriptions.

ARTBOOKS & FANBOOKS I have pretty much all of the major official books I think, missing maybe 1-2 pieces. The one that may look less familiar is Hiroshi Osaka's personal artbook. I also have four of the relevant Nobuteru Yuuki artbooks. The bottom right one with the orange title is the issue of Newtype Magazine with a feature about Esca.

SMALLER BOOKS (let's pretend that's a category) Here I got all the novels (they are out of their sleeves cause I was working on them), all the filmbooks, Secrets of Escaflowne, Escaflowne Bible, and the Energist Memories manga/doujin collection.

DOUJINSHI I was mostly going for stuff I haven't seen online so I only got a handful. Besides the Shiren Suiki book, there are three Minato Tajima doujins (one of them is racy heh but I'm not hiding that I have it). One of the other doujins may look unfamiliar; it's a compilation book that includes other series (the character on the cover is from DN Angel). People who talk to me on Discord probably recognize the Nanoka doujinshi cover.

CDs AND THE LIKE I don't have all the soundtracks for some reason, probably cause I thought the missing ones wouldn't be hard to get. The PSX game is the special edition with the tarot cards. The LDs that I literally bought just for the covers and inlays. I also have all the audio dramas, some CDs with extras... and a phone card that was for some reason packed in a CD case lol (kidding, it's precious that they would give it that kind of protection). Oh, and there are two movie posters which I guess don't fall under either category.

I have some other stuff that is kinda related to Esca "by association" such as by artist or things that "looked similar" but I didn't include them. Also the figures. I may update this post with those but this is the brunt of it. I will be posting some goodies from these soon!

Same goes for the ongoing translations that I've been doing updates on in this post. Life is too short to delay them for months and years because of perfectionism, or rather, being self conscious about one's imperfect language skills. I am thankful to everyone who has helped me so far, proofreading my translations (coverteyes, pikafwance, sevenstars, and radical-rad1986)... I'm not tagging you guys but know that I'm VERY grateful, also to the other people who are helping me with other projects). I always had fun working together with you but it's no longer sustainable and I likely bit off more than I can chew. So I will get myself out of the way. There are two books that are almost complete as of today so I will just probably go chapter by chapter. I hope to be done with this asap but also December is a busy month for me so I'm not sure how smoothly it will go. Let's hope it does.

#escaflowne #anime merchandise #artbook #fanbook #doujinshi

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always-is-always · 3 months

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Watching original content...

Some of the bloggers that I follow here talk about how important it is to watch original content. It seems to be an obvious thing to do, yet many never go quite that far. Especially some of the fringe people who are hyper-focused upon a single member or a particular relationship within Bangtan.

All I can say is that it does matter, whether one sees original content, or not. When a person relies only on compilations, videos that are created with a particular "focus" (relationship or idol), analysis videos, and content that has incorrect translations or interpretations, then the person is going to have a very distorted view of things.

I know as I've been there..... not realizing what I was viewing as a pre-baby ARMY. (I didn't even know what it meant to be "ARMY".) That YouTube algorythym that can take a person down rabbit holes that have never been explored, you know. Yeah. So I watched a ton of videos on all sorts of things related to BTS, before I was on this platform, and before I really had a grasp on what any of it meant.

Thankfully, one of those YT channels recommended Dalloga's blog here on Tumblr, as she is known for her translations and clarifications on Korean language and culture. I managed to find her blog, not having any clue what Tumblr was. lol It took me over a year get the nerve to create my account, and then another year before I started to follow people and post.

So yeah....As an English-speaking woman living in the States, I had a HUGE learning curve to navigate, and much of it had to do with understanding the culture around BTS. I had to learn what a "bias" was, what "shipping" meant, what the heck those combined names meant 😆 (Jikook, Taekook, Jinkook, etc., etc.), and none of it really made sense to me. Here in the US, we don't have anything quite like the culture around K-Pop. Even now, I don't get the total attachment to labels in the fandom.

So what is the point to these words?

I am finally making my way through some original content that I have never watched before. Yay for me! 🎉

Having watched BV season 1 last week, I just finished season 2 of Bon Voyage last night, and OMG. To watch from beginning to end, to see everthing as it was and not chopped up and edited to fit a storyline someone has created, has been so awesome. It's been even more eye-opening given where we currently are in the BTS timeline (everyone in the military).

And, I see dynamics and moments in their original context which helps to clarify my understanding of things. Yeah. Clarity and understanding... always a good thing.

I understand how some have mis-interpreted certain things.

I'm going to navigate away from making big statements here, that would lead down some rabbit holes that I'd rather not explore. There are plenty here on this platform who have done it already, and it's not my forte. I'll just say that it is always a good choice to look at original content, and just let it be what it is. The reminder here is that they never show everything. What we see is but a glimpse....

These months that we have on-hand are a prime time to take the deep dive into original content. Perhaps it is a re-visit for some folks.

I'm going to do my homework, and learn what I can, via tons of episodes of BV, RUN BTS, and anything else I can put my hands on. It's going to be a fun journey! 💜💜💜

#bts #bangtan #bts bon voyage #bts original content #watch original content #love them #miss them as 7 #waiting for 2025 #aloha

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cookkoo · 5 months

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I DID IT!!! agsdhjkaa

Drawtober 2023: [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24][25][26][27][28][29][30][31]

Or go to this [link] as it's easier to scroll

Ok I haven't done this since 2018 it feels weird asdfjka. But since I finally able to complete the challenge I feel like it's ok to talk about it

First of, thank you for all the hearts and the reblogs— the tags are great as usual lol. could never stressed this enough but these interactions really fire me up. So thank you!!

Now for the reflection part

tbh I was not really sure what I was trying to achieve when I started drawing this year challenge, but one thing is I draw way too little and there's not enough shumako content in my own sketchbook

Long story short, this challenge has been a great journey, I did surprised myself a lot of times, especially day12, hotdamn I never knew I could draw a back this hot asdfhgja. But also, for someone who have been holding the ideas of 'drawing is suffering, and it will always kills your ego because you will never be good enough' mentality, doing this challenge kinda fix that in a good way. Sure, my back still ache and I pulled way too many all nighters for my own good, but I really really enjoy almost every moment of these past two months.

(Let's not talk about the fact that it took me 2 months to finish O}-{)

I think I should add that working traditionally (altho it kinda turn into more of a mix media at some point) really was refreshing. Inking is a bit unforgiving in a way, but it does give my brain good exercise, looking for solutions when making a mistake. It also kinda forced me to stop overwork on some parts, forgive myself (since there's not much I could do with those thick paint) and move on.

Also, this challenge finally give me the opportunity to express my love to P5S asdfjagd. Srsly tho, it came out when I stuck in a very bad slump. So I'm very happy I got to draw the PT hanging out and enjoying their summer together

Anyhow! Since I'm actually completed it, I'm thinking of compiling them and turn them into a zine. So, one more time, I hope I'm not jinxing myself, but I might comeback with a few more drawtober posts just because I wanna show how the zine gonna turn out asdfagj

If you read it this far then, uh, that's a lot of reading. Thank you once again for letting me cover your tl with my ted talk! lmao Hope you will stick around because I'm not done expressing my love to my OTP. Until then~!

#drawtober2023 #drawtober #inktober2023 #inktober #afterthought #I know I talked a lot in tags #on the art themselves #but yo I really hope you read them #because I couldn't do it on twitter #and I have so much thoughts when I work on sth #I just like it more than the short captions or quotes #asdfgjh

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magenta-embers · 6 months

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Hi! Nice to read you.

I've been in Tumblr for years, and this is the first time I send a message. I mostly use this app to read, and I'm usually just a ghost because I don't comment or anything else besides read, lol.

Well, the reason I felt like I needed to send you a message is because this channel of yours is new and I have read all your posts so far and I am absolutely intrigued to read more from you in the future because you already made me laugh a few times plus you have a psychology degree and although I don't have one because funny enough, I hated reading so much when I took psychology classes that I couldn't fathom getting that degree.

I do have a way with humans that is not common with the bast majority. I'm very intuitive and empathic as well, which makes my interactions with people deeper than I sometimes would like it to be. But that's a different story... I digress...

I found BTS this year because of K-Dramas. All of a sudden, I don't know how my Instagram went from KDramas to BTS. They are all over my explore feed, lol.

(Well it's not that difficult for IG to full my feed with them since once you like KDrama stuff, the whole South Korea country shows up in the algorithm lol, I just find it funny, sorry again I digress...)

The way I got to "meet" BTS was with the Run Episodes mini Reels in IG. Again, they are all over my feed. So eventually I found out they sing, and found a song I liked, searched it up, found out it was from them, got obsessed with the song, and now I have a few more that I like a lot so far.

I do not consider myself an Army, and I don't think I ever will. I do think BTS is absolutely talented and great performers and I may like more songs in the future if I go over all the albums because so far their songs find me in reels and that's how I have come to like the ones I do. But I do think the fandom is very toxic in my opinion, I'm not saying that all the people in there are, but overall from all the experience I have so far from them, that's the feeling I get as of now from most of the fandom. so I don't see myself connecting that far.

I like all the members. They each have something that I like about them, but what I have come to find out is that Jimin is out of this word. I don't know what that man has, but for God's sake, he can get people obsessed if they are not careful.

Do I consider myself a PJM? No.

However, the man can convert me at any minute to be honest, and I won't notice.

Well, my main reason to write to you is because although I've known about them in more detail the past few months, I'm really new to them. The past month, I got to know what shipping means, and like you, the first thing I saw on Instagram was the JK and TH one. I did not understand what was the romantic side of the videos I was being shown because I couldn't see anything beyond a great friendship. Then, I don't know how, but a video of JM and JK showed up. It was a compilation of them staring at each other and another one of JK walking to any direction JM was going to, and let me tell you...

I felt like I was spying on a couple that were in their private room and I just happened to be in the closet looking through a small hole because I got trapped there before they showed up and shut the door and I could get out. I FELT SO INTRUSIVE THAT IT MADE ME TURN MY HEAD SIDEWAYS MORE THAN ONCE, like I shouldn't be watching such a intimacy without consent. JESUS!!!

The feelings were deep. Let me tell you that much.

So, I, as a romantic person that loves LOVE and anything related to that, such as movies, and again K-Drama, well... I came to Tumblr to investigate this situation, hahahaha... and let's just say that in the past 2 weeks, I have consumed an insane amount of BTS shipping posts than what I would be proud to admit. It's very bad, I need a break. But I'm a binge watcher, and the content seems infinite (WOW), I'm the type of person that watches a K-dramma in one sitting because I can't do it anyway else.

Well, I have told you too much irrelevant sh*t sorry lol

My reason for the message was because I would like to read more posts of JM and JK from the perspective of people that that have follow them for a while and watch original content and express their thoughts on what they see and why they think of them as they do because of what they see.

I am interested in reading how people evaluate what they see without my personal thoughts about what I see as bias. I have been finding the posts I have read like that entertaining. But unfortunately the past weeks as well most of the things I see is people asking bogglers why they think JM and JK are still together and a constant fighting about recent things like video leaks, JK meeting too much with his friends but no with JM, this or that, and it's getting boring seeing these bloggers intelligence wasted on those questions.

My opinion is this: I won't assume they are a couple unless they say so (highly unlikely) or when definite proof gets leaked or posted by Dispatch or something like that. (Which I really hope it never happens, they don't deserve an outing like that if they are not ready) but I find it very concerning that these so called fans, and shippers just want proof that they are together so bad, that they don't care how that proof gets to them, which may hurt their so called bias. That's honestly SICK behavior! And then they wonder why people joke that BTS fandom is full of 12 years old. Again, I digress...

So, as I was saying, I won't assume they are a couple because I respect people, and I don't want to assume their sexuality or relationship. But I don't judge those who assume in a respectful way, I just personally don't want to cross that line.

In my personal opinion, they make me feel like they have feelings for each other and that they are aware of them. Have they crossed the sex line yet? Maybe.

The vibe I get is that they are aware of their feelings towards each other and might be scared to cross that line for the sake of their friendship or the group. Though, that doesn't stop them from being as physical as they show to be on screen.

They're like, "we know we have feelings for each other, we won't cross the sex line, but we will play with fire." And one thing is for sure in this life, intimacy goes beyond the sex act.

They are probably more intimate than what sex could make them be. I don't even know how to explain it in a coherent way to those who just see sex as the way of being fully intimate.

Also, I don't know why people have to assume that they are gay if they are proven to be with each other. I can never get disappointed enough of humans and their limited intelligence, like sometimes two people have a connection so strong that even if they have been only in a heterosexual relationship their whole lives, and there was this one instace where they were in a homosexual one, it automatically doesn't mean the person is part of the LGBTQ+ community, it's just means that there was a person, possibly what they would consider their "soul mate" that happen to be their same sex. But otherwise they have only been attracted to the opposite sex and will find themselves only attracted to the opposite sex if that person no longer exist in the picture, because they will never feel somethig like that again.

I've seen it, that's why I get mad when people don't see that, in this world there's so much that can be possible without putting a pre-existing LGBTQ+ label on it, that's why there's a + in it I guess. But AGAIN, I digress...

Now, even if JM and JK come out saying that they never have had anything going on, that they are with other people in a relationship or whatever else. I won't ever doubt that they had feelings for each other up to 2023. That much I am sure of, no matter the outcome of their relationship. These two had a mini encounter on a live a few days ago, and they both malfunctioned at one point lol they don't know how to control themselves.

But I just wanted to say that I hope you share more of your thoughts of what you see and saw on content where they are part of, like the youtube video you shared, (which I will watch once I have almost 3 hours to spare because once I start that, I won't stop until it's done lol) so I hope to read your opinions on those contents, your thought process as you watch those things. That would be entertaining for me as a new person viewing this shipping world, and those new like me that want to read stuff like that as entertainment or to learn more about them.

People here write as if all the readers are old in the BTS world or, more specifically, the Jikook world and not all of us are. I caught you doing some comments like that too so far, like "if you know you know," or like "you know what I am talking about," and I'm like... "But I don't know, I want to know but don't know lol" so I'm left clueless lol

Please, I hope that if you are here for a long run, remember that people like me will always exist and we may find your blog in our way to discovery and won't know sh*t lol. Also, I hope you tag more words so your posts are easier to find for people like me. Like when a post is about Jikook, you can also tag JM and JK tags since it is about them anyway. I was just following the Jimin tag, and now I will follow the Jikook one because some posts don't make it to the Jimin tag even tho the post includes him. But you may have your reasons, so it's totally fine if you don't.

Sorry for the long message. It's my first one ever, and I took it seriously, apparently lol.

I'm a millennial, I use lol a lot...

Att: The LOL Millennial

P.S. Any possible grammar/spelling mistakes are expected for my old age lol, thank you :)

God, I love a good, long message. Hi! Hope you don't mind me sharing your story and thoughts. It was a good read! I've also been a lurker until recently.

I'll try to respond in order.

"But I do think the fandom is very toxic in my opinion, I'm not saying that all the people in there are, but overall from all the experience I have so far from them, that's the feeling I get as of now from most of the fandom. so I don't see myself connecting that far."

It is absolutely okay to be a casual fan. It's healthier even. About the fandom, it's big enough to be a country, and as we know, a country holds many perspectives, personalities, religions, opinions, factions, moral/political alignments, criminals, and creeps, but also mostly just regular folk trying to make it through the day. That's how I see ARMY. It's simply too massive for everyone to get along. I think the toxicity has gotten much worse since the solo era started and the fandom is more divided than ever.

However, I believe that once BTS returns as a group, all of the garbage that's happened or been said this year will be forgotten. Solo projects have rotted the fandom's brains and yet were absolutely vital to the artistic growth of each member. It's a necessary evil, and BTS will be way, way stronger for it. We, the regular folk here, just keep our heads down and weather the storm. Amazing things are coming.

"But unfortunately the past weeks as well most of the things I see is people asking bogglers why they think JM and JK are still together and a constant fighting about recent things like video leaks, JK meeting too much with his friends but no with JM, this or that, and it's getting boring seeing these bloggers intelligence wasted on those questions."

We're getting a lot more fan interaction from the members during this hiatus than I thought we would. So it was surprising to me to see people whining about Jimin and Jungkook not posting about each other enough. Some people seem to think those two need to communicate solely via public social media otherwise they hate each other. Some people have entire narratives on how/when/why jikook broke up based on the stupidest shit you can imagine. As I said, solo era has been painful. My brain cells are dropping like flies.

"but I find it very concerning that these so called fans, and shippers just want proof that they are together so bad, that they don't care how that proof gets to them, which may hurt their so called bias."

Because to them Jungkook and Jimin are dolls to smash together while making kissy sounds. They just want to "win" their little ship war. As far as I'm concerned, there is no war because jikook is an actual possibility and the others are not. End of story. Any explicit "proof" getting out would be disastrous for them at this point in time.

"In my personal opinion, they make me feel like they have feelings for each other and that they are aware of them. Have they crossed the sex line yet? Maybe.

I think this was pretty much my opinion too until I started my deep dive and observing the timeline. The "state" of them of being aware of their feelings for each other but hesitant was late 2015/first half of 2016, in my personal timeline, it's one of the big shifts I saw. Their relationship has several developments after that too. So if they're currently in a romantic/sexual relationship, they have been for years. If they're not, then it's not likely to happen.

"in this world there's so much that can be possible without putting a pre-existing LGBTQ+ label on it"

Sexuality is a spectrum and people shouldn't have to define themselves if there is no label that quite fits. The more labels and distinctions we make, the more we box people in and become less inclusive. Jimin could be bi, Jungkook could be gay, but we don't know. We can't know. What I do know is that they really find each other really, really attractive.

"But I just wanted to say that I hope you share more of your thoughts of what you see and saw on content where they are part of, like the youtube video you shared"

Thank you for your support! That's the plan! It was painful to be so undetailed in the intro post.

"People here write as if all the readers are old in the BTS world or, more specifically, the Jikook world and not all of us are. I caught you doing some comments like that too so far, like "if you know you know," or like "you know what I am talking about," and I'm like... "But I don't know, I want to know but don't know lol" so I'm left clueless lol"

I know that's annoying, it was for me as well when I was starting my journey. But the "if you know you know" stuff I'm referring to is pics/info that leaked and we weren't supposed to see. More "evidence' I suppose. Nothing that would ruin their lives, obviously, but far far more telling than any dumbass clip/pic we've gotten for their other dating "rumors." Maybe you've already seen them. I'm not going to gatekeep these things, since they're out there anyway and you can find them, but you can reach out to me if you'd like and I can tell you in private.

"Also, I hope you tag more words so your posts are easier to find for people like me. Like when a post is about Jikook, you can also tag JM and JK tags since it is about them anyway."

The reason I didn't tag them individually is because solos, akgaes, and taekookers (jk tag) lurk in those tags and they're eye-twitchingly annoying. Especially right now.

Nonny, thank you so much for listening to my story and sharing yours. It was lovely to wake up to. I appreciate the interest a lot. I hope to hear from you in the future!

#jikook

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dimonds456 · 8 months

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Undertale is 8 years old today, and Papyrus is still one of my favorite fictional characters of all time, and definitely the one that's still the most important to me. Thank you, Toby Fox, for everything.

Time to get sentimental.

I was in middle school when Undertale came out. I wasn't there for the release, but I was there before the new year, around November.

At the time, I was in the worst mental state I have ever been in. I was deep, deep in the depths of depression, and no one in my family believed me when I told them that, since I had always been the "dramatic child". Attention-seeking. My brother was still very young at the time, too, so y'know.

To put it bluntly, my life was in danger from my own mind. Without saying the word, you can probably guess what I mean. I was alone, when I tried to reach out for help I was either denied or made fun of, and I was getting increasingly worse.

Then Undertale came into my life.

I loved it instantly, watching Jack play through the game and then quickly convincing my parents to buy it for me once I got to the end of his pacifist route. And playing it myself took weeks, since I wasn't good at games and the bullet hell format was torture, but finally making it to the end and getting to hug Asriel for myself marked a change in my life's trajectory.

See, I did not have the courage to play through the genocide route on my own, instead watching Lets Plays and YouTubers React compilations. I remember latching onto Flowey and Chara immediately (and I was in the camp of thinking Chara was good until the fandom made me second-guess myself, unfortunately). I remember getting upset at Undyne's death and feeling awful at Sans'. And I knew what the game was trying to tell me, I picked up on the themes of love and mercy.

But that's not the part that stood out the most to me. That, instead, goes to Papyrus' death in the genocide route.

"W-WELL, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING. ST... STILL, I BELIEVE YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER, EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK SO. I... I PROMISE."

This single quote saved my life. I say that without exaggeration.

Whenever I was struggling in school, I'd ask myself what Papyrus would tell me if he were there. And then he'd comfort me. Lift me up. Encourage me. Told me I wasn't the terrible person I thought I was, and even if I was that person, I had the potential and capability of change. I could do better. BE better. Help others do better.

So I did. I used that energy to pull myself out of my depression (by myself, btw. no one came to help me except one (1) teacher, who finally convinced my parents something was wrong with me, and even then they didn't really do much to help so). I put forth a persona of kindness, one that I embodied more and more as the months and eventually years went on.

To this day, I still try to be like Papyrus.

He's not perfect, far from it, but he also acknowledges his flaws while lifting himself and others up despite them. He loves himself, and uses that self-love to help other people, which is something I still desperately want to embody.

Papyrus' encouragement was the one thing I had to cling to when I was deep underwater, and he brought me up high enough that I could start swimming on my own again.

Was it silly? Yeah. Was it cringy? Maybe at the time. Do I regret it? Hell no.

When I fell, Paps was there to catch me, even if it was just from my own imagination. But if he could help me out that much simply by existing and leading by example, then goddamnit, there's hope. Hope I cling to every day.

Thank you, Papyrus. I owe you my life.

Thank you, Toby Fox, for creating Undertale in general. The whole game helped me out to many, many extensions (like telling me lesbians and trans people exist lol), but I can't emphesize enough just how much it's helped others, too. Just how sincere the game is. Hopeful. I look at Undertale today and I see a better future. Thank you.

And thanks for reading. Surely this isn't the first story you've heard like this, as Undertale is just one of those games that touched a lot of people, so I appreciate you giving it the read. Undertale means a lot to me, and it always will.

We can all do a little better, even if we don't think so. I promise.

#papyrus #undertale #undertale papyrus #papyrus undertale #undertale 8th anniversary #happy birthday undertale #dimond speaks #dimonds456 art

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tsubasaclones · 1 year

Photo

a 34-page compilation of my last few months of brainrot. done partially because i wanted to get better at making drawings with the polyline/polygonal lasso tool and partially because i wanted to see if i could concentrate my brainrot hard enough to get a finished product (turns out i can???)

i didn’t intend for this to be a christmas gift, or, well, christmas eve because i’m impatient (considering i started this in the beginning of october, it just took me forever) but i finished it finally so please take it lol

there’s too many images to just shove into a tumblr post, and i know people use itch.io to host zines but i don’t want to figure all of that out so i put it on google drive. the link should work though and it should also be viewable in the browser without downloading

download/view it here

content warning for blood in a few images, but nothing unusual for TRC

(also i didn’t look at a whole lot of references so if i got a design wrong no i didn’t)

#syaosaku #tsubasa reservoir chronicle #tsubasa chronicle #clone sakura #clone syaoran #the others make very brief appearances but this isnt about them #tsubasa #trc #cloneposting #<-the ultimate clone posting post #my art #digital art

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aerodaltonimperial · 1 year

Text

Katy's masterpost of "what the hell is hookhausen and why are you so obsessed with it?????" aka the hookhausen video primer!!!!

It took me awhile and a LOT of help (thank you so much friends!!!!) to get all of these videos compiled and in the right order, and I added a few extra that aren't technically "canon" (after shows, vloghausens) but as far as I am concerned, if it happens in kayfabe, it's canon. If you think you might enjoy insanity and a fucking amazing enemies-to-besties plot line, this might be something you enjoy. I'm still missing a few here and there, but I think this is pretty solid!!!

THE ORIGINAL RUN (Feb-August 2022): the courtship

Hook's interview on Hey! (EW), most for shits and giggles because it never fails to make me laugh, but also is a great introduction to him.

The slow-burn enemies-to-partners video. HUGE thanks to OP for this, because I literally consider this video God's gift to us.

The training montage. I laugh every time.

The May 13, 2022 after-show. Skip to 5:30. They are a package deal at this point as far as everyone in the arena is concerned LOL (another view here, starts at 5:40. 2 days into their partnership and Danhausen is like, "CM Punk owes me money." Hook: "let's go.")

Vloghausen chip tasting. Starts at 2:35. The fact that they had to do this multiple times because all those chip bags are already open tickles me.

Road to Double or Nothing. RJ City is a gift lol

Tag team match!!! Skip to 48:55. It's the little finger wiggles before tags that always gets me. Love is real.

Post tag match interview. Starts at 4:00. They could have refilmed this when Hook lost it and didn't, so that smile at Danhausen is canon now, I don't make the rules.

Literally just ten seconds of them driving the Gator. Starts at :30. SMILEHAUSEN.

Danhausen loves Hook. 1:42:50. Interview show, Danhausen talks about Hook glowingly for 10 seconds.

Hookhausen buys “PT Cruisers.” We are still trying to figure out if Hook actually has a driver’s license.

Why must you hurt me in this way. Starts at 4:30. The "break-up"???? I don't like this video.

Hook and Danhausen sell chips for monies. Another vloghausen gift. They still love each other. TWO fist bumps!!! BLESSED.

Hookhausen hawks their GIANT ASS POSTER. If video does not load on AEW Twitter, plz see back-up link here.

After-show fist bump w/FTW Belt. Starts at 10:47.

The Dark Months (Sept-Dec 2022): nothing sob sob

A NEW ERA???: we have found new wills to live

Hook is click-bait in a vloghausen. First onscreen appearance since August 2022 by the trollhausen of the universe. WE BACK, BABIES.

Danhausen’s good friend Hook! Danhausen says Hook’s name on air!! And there was much rejoicing!

#Hookhausen #Here is your video primer!!!!#I LOVE YOU ALL

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majaloveschris · 9 months

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Ok, so while you’re on the talk of staged photos - I found it kinda hilarious that there’s a pic of them with the original photo of the pumpkins propped up next to uncarved pumpkins and then them taking a selfie sitting 3 feet apart.

Like - alluding to the pic he previously posted of the post carved pumpkins. (Yes, those pumpkins were made by us together!)

Just like the photo of him driving while his dog has his chin on his shoulder - added later on to the vday dump to indicate she was the one who took it. (Yea, she was the one who took that photo!)

Over a year…narrative (scare videos - with a “looking back at the past year” caption)

Vday compilation - continued “looking back at the past year. So many pics - eight of which were just them separately (lol) and only ONE pic of them kissing. In a car. Someone else took the photo and his body is turned away from her while her neck is craned upwards like a giraffe.

Im sorry - anyone can feel free to disagree but these two instances alone were too obvious of a blatant strategy for me to buy into anything else.

Let’s be real here. How many straight men in the world - would organically post generic pics on their IG grid, and months later - add “follow up” photos with more specific details as part of a “reveal”?

IMO, That’s why the rollout of the whole relationship was questioned by many ppl, maybe including outlets like buzz feed and Perez Hilton.

It’s just a little too staged - each time, to make it truly believable.

You know how sometimes you’ll hear a story, or even get an anon posting a question - and they go on for a bit and there’s just one little detail that pushes the story over the top so that it’s not believable. It’s like, “if you hadn’t amped up that last 2% I would have believed you!”

That’s the entire vibe I get from this whole thing. Again, feel free to disagree.

This whole relationship seems forced and unnatural. This whole posting thing is so out of character for him; when people said that “this and that” was so weird, they did something to prove it otherwise (for example, the whole Lisa thing, and then she started following her and even liked one of her pictures). They don't look in love, happy, content, or like a real couple.

Obviously, there are people who think they are so happy together and will marry and live happily ever after. I can't and would never be able to support this relationship. Obviously, I'm nobody to them, so they don't need my support or blessing, but I still feel this way. I don't think she or the people around her are good people; her and their behavior and words are something I could never support or pass by.

And it's not that I don't want him happy or that I want him to end with me; I just don't think she is a good person, and I don’t want somebody I like to end up with somebody I don't consider a good person. She and her friends did and said questionable things. They were racist, fatphobic, and Nazi supporters. And these don't scream good people to me.

#majaloveschris #chris and alba pr #cevans-love

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