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#this was so self indulgent i am so sorry for my sins
whatyadrawin · 5 months
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The Fruit After The Flesh -MASTERLIST!-
Thomas Hewitt x AFAB reader
18+ Only, Minors DNI
See reference images for layout here
Summary: You are a 33 year old seamstress living in Rivers, Manitoba struggling to make ends meet and in threat of losing everything until you get a call from a lawyer who informs you of a distant relatives will. Now you own an orchard and have money in the bank on one condition, keep the orchard feeding the people in Fuller, Texas. You meet the Hewitt's and finally feel a sense of belonging in this cruel world, the family is special but one person in particular is stealing your heart... Thomas. Follow the story as you experience everything the farm life has to offer, the romance, the hardships, and the sins.
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
Chapter 13 -in progress- (I'm so sorry for the delays, I have not been doing well lately. I will be returning to finish writing the chapter and start the art soon-
Thank you all for reading my silly little self indulgent fic, many of you are likely big fans of Thomas and his family, I hope you all get that same feeling of family and loyalty when reading this. I appreciate the patience you all have in waiting for chapters to come out, they may take me a while due to the art but I am happy to have a very fulfilling hobby as I continue through my journey of education in pursuit of my career. Don't be scared to drop a message and let me know what you think!
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sinner-sunflower · 5 days
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P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 13/?
STORY 1, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 14, PART 14.5, PART 15
Luci is the older sib among the Sins but he's the youngest among the Archangels.
I guess technically, he's the suffering middle child.
If y'all see a mention baby bro or little brother in the Prequel, pretend like you didn't see it ;laksldakl;
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Perhaps Lucifer should've requested a 1 visitor per visit rule just like he should've expected that he's going to get tackled and suffocated in physical affection by the Sins and Charlie as soon as Belphegor opened the door.
Not that he doesn't like the hugs but he's just one tiny guy and he's pretty sure he's about to be buried alive under these giants.
Thank fuck for Belphegor for prying them off of him before he actually suffocated.
Belphegor: What did I say?! What did I just say?! What are you all? Children?!
A gasp and a coughing fit later, he finally calmed down enough to get his breathing steady. He thanks Alastor for the water, taking huge sips to fix his throat.
'Not to self: don't get buried alive. It's not a fun experience.'
He looks over at the now kneeling Charlie and Sins, head bowed as the Sin of Sloth relentlessly scolds them.
Belphegor: -powers in Hell and you can't follow one simple rule? May I remind you all what happens if I'm disobeyed while I'm treating someone?
All: Visiting rights will be stripped off.
Belphegor: That's right. And I am not above putting a ward on any of you to make it stay that way.
Never mess with Dr. Belphegor. As much as Lucifer is amused, he takes pity on his kids (his kids!) and speaks up to save them from the doctor's wrath.
Lucifer: I think they get it, Bel.
The kneeling demons cower as Belphegor sends them one last glare before huffing and went to typing something in her tablet again.
Beelzebub: Sorry for getting carried away, babe. We just got scared.
Asmodeus: Charlie's call really scared us. Did something happen in Heaven?
Satan: Tell me if that bastard Michael did this, I'll go to Heaven myself and beat his ass! In fact, I'm going over there right now. Open a portal.
Leviathan: Christ, Satan. Can you do one minute without thinking of doing something impulsive?
Satan: Don't say that name here! And fuck you! You're one to talk. Which one of us almost obliterated their ring in anger earlier, huh??
Lucifer: Wha- Levi??
Leviathan: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Mammon: Wait, is that why the elevator took so fuckin long to work? I thought I was gonna be stuck there foreva!
Charlie: At least you're all here now!
Charlie's wholesome sentiment made her aunts and uncles coo, wholeheartedly agreeing with her.
Lucifer: My duckie is right. Even though I said I was fine, you all still came for me. I'm starting to feel bad about making you all rush here every time I get hurt.
Satan: Don't you dare. No one is forcing us to be here.
Beelzebub: Right! Plus you always did the same for us.
He remembers those moments. When the rings formed and the Sins grew enough to move and handle them on their own, he was pretty lonely. Sure, he had Lilith, but children brought a different kind of joy with their company.
Plus, he loved indulging in others and all the children wanted was his attention, which he was always so happy to give.
The last person he would've thought to call him for help first was, believe it or not, Leviathan.
Levi had always presented himself as independent, acting like he's not as young as he was. Lucifer saw the aquatic demon's admiration for him, often mimicking how he talks, walks, and even dresses.
Lilith says it's envy (Because what else could it be, Luci? Isn't he the Sin of Envy?) but Lucifer knows better. He knows that Leviathan only looks at him in admiration. He looks at him like he hung the stars. Like Lucifer means something. Like he deserves to be looked at that way.
He doesn't but he's not going to tell young Leviathan that.
Anyway, Levi couldn't get the raging storms of Envy under control despite trying so hard. He was crying, begging Lucifer to believe that he did everything he could but nothing was working.
So he did what every good sibling/pseudo-father wouldo.
He drops everything and headed straight to Envy. In fact, he ran so fast he forgot to tell Lilith he was leaving.
Instead of fixing the situation himself, Lucifer chose that moment to teach Leviathan. He stayed in Envy until the other got it and not once did he berate Levi for not knowing something that wasn't even taught. It was his fault after all that Levi couldn't control it as he should've known that it doesn't come to everyone that easily.
The little scolding he got from Lilith when he came home super late was worth seeing a proud face on little Levi.
Lucifer: And I always will.
When it doesn't look like they're leaving him anytime soon, he figures he could just tell them now. He sat up a little straighter and internally braces himself for the expected uproar.
Lucifer: Heaven is on the verge of a civil war.
He winces. 'Way to rip off the bandaid, Lucifer.'
The room halted. They stared at him as they try to comprehend what he said just said. Then all at once, everyone bursts into screaming and panic, asking questions at him, at each other, at no one, at everyone. It was chaos and Lucifer can feel something rumble inside him. He figures Roo is enjoying all this unfold.
To be fair, he should've thought better than to say something like that out of the blue.
Lucifer: Sorry from dropping a bomb like that suddenly.
Satan: A bomb???
Mammon: Mate, that's a fuckin' nuclear one if I know one! The fuck you mean a war??
Lucifer: A civil war.
Charlie: What? How are we roped in it?? It's not because of the last extermination right?
Belphegor: You couldn't have told us this the moment you arrived?
Satan: Are we involved? Is that why Michael shot a freakin' laser through the sky??
Lucifer: No but-
Beelzebub: Oh god.
Lucifer: Guys, if you just-
Leviathan: Ozzie, how is our forces? Do you think we have enough manpower?
Lucifer: Guys-
Asmodeus: If it's only our fighting forces, then no. I'm sure a lot of demons would be willing to fight. Plus we have the firepower.
Lucifer: I-
Belphegor: Do we even know if angelic weapons would harm a higher ranked angel?
Oh for fucks-
Lucifer: Ê̵̡̟͔͉̱͓͓̪̝̫͙͇̞͛̓͐͒͒̎͒̋͘Ǹ̶̛͙̲̮͓͈̳̗̟̣̊̍͋́̇̀̋̐́̚̕͜O̷͇͔̒̇͋́͋́̓́͂́͆͋̅͘U̴̡̙̫͕̞̩͎̭̤̤͙̠̓̐̊̚͜G̵͖͇̘̘̩̟̗̠̬̐̈́͛́̾̈́̾̍́̈́̏͠͝H̶̢̬͉̯̞͇̯͈͙̜̬͚̟͙̊̈́͋͂̂̾̒̅̈́̆͊͗͂̚͝.̷̧͇͔͖̜̳̲̪̤͇̇͊͑̋͛̾̓͜͜
.
.
.
The room rattles from his voice. He stop his horns and halo from coming out. Lucifer can't see it but everyone else is staring at him in abject horror as his skin turned into a dark, glitchy mess.
He calms himself by taking in deep breathes until the fire in his mouth extinguishes.
Lucifer: Can I speak now?
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dirty-bosmer · 9 months
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Snippet Someday
So I've been revisiting the earlier chapters of my fic and am stuck in a bout of editing paralysis where everything sounds blegh, but ahhhh so is life. I thought, what the heck— let me put a positive spin on all these writing woes and make a game out of it. Plus I've been meeting a lot of new writers this summer, and I figured this would be a fun way to get to know your stories and characters as I make my way through my bookmark list. Take this chance to showcase your fic. We've all been working hard. Let's be proud of how far we've come :)
Tagging: @atypicalacademic @skyrim-forever @justafoxhound @elavoria @gilgamish @thana-topsy @thequeenofthewinter @paraparadigm @chennnington @expended-sleeper @snowberry-crostata @sylvienerevarine @dumpsterhipster @nuwanders @daedrabait @wispstalk @rainpebble3 @nine-blessed-hero @mareenavee @miraakulous-cloud-district @ladytanithia Sorry for blowing up your notifications. If you're not tagged, please feel free to jump in and tag me if you see this and want to join! I'm not always sure who is writing fic and who isn't. No pressure as always :D
Rules: Revisit an old fic (or earlier chapters of your current WIP) and share a snip from:
Your first chapter
Your favorite chapter
Your most challenging chapter
Alternatively, if you don't write longfic, feel free to share your one-shots. Provide as much or as little commentary as you want.
From The Illusionist: Passion, Purpose, and Penance:
First Chapter: Skirting The Black Road (commence the moral decayyy 😈)
Admittedly disappointed by this virtuous facade, he saw the crack, only needed to slip his blade into it and twist. This, he could work with, for she was a murderer in the eyes of the Night Mother whether she accepted it or not, and he had no doubt that if pressed, she too would heed Sithis' call. They all did. New murderers were pliant, he found, like old snags of dead wood. One gentle push and the roots released their grip.
Favorite Chapter: 61— Us and Them (self indulgent disaster-ship is self indulgent 🤷‍♀️)
And when he looked at her, he felt dissolved, knew not where the salt of her tears became the salt of his blood, and if he could strip her from her skin just to drink the liquid dark behind her eyes, he would.
Most Challenging Chapter: 67 — A Small Death (Newly mantled Sheogorath is not a headspace I know how to work with 😅)
“Again, Nimileth?”
There was disapproval in his voice, faint, but not faint enough to suggest he'd been trying to hide it. Nim fought back the urge to growl.
“I had a bit too much to drink, that’s all,” she mumbled. Too much last night and the night before. Too much. Too much again.
“Don’t you think you should know your limits by now?”
'Don’t you think you should know your limits by now,’ she wished to spit back at him, make herself an even greater pest if only to feel more like the lowly, burrowing insect she had become. Or better yet, something limbless, blind. A worm. But Nim didn't have the strength to finish. She didn’t even have the strength to start.
Instead, she bunched the sheets in her fists and yanked them over her head so that she lay completely covered. What am I doing, she thought. The throbbing waves of her headache crested and crashed, grinding her skull down to coarse, ivory sands. What am I doing?
Lucien didn’t linger after that. He flung open the curtains, and when he left, the sun crept across her back. Shielded as she was beneath her sheets and behind her eyelids, she could still feel its glaring, angry flare.
“I see you, Nimileth,” it said, stretching its fingers across the room. Pointing, taunting fingers that seared and scraped at the raw wounds of last night's sins. “I see you. I will set and I will rise and I will see you again tomorrow. I will see you then. I will see you again.”
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✨Cult of the lamb incorrect quotes✨ (bishops edition) (and lambert is there too)
Leshy: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.
❤️-----------------------------------------------------------------
*While the Squad is in a battle* Shamura, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left! Leshy: Take it back now y'all!
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Heket: What did you get on your shirt? Lambert: Rust. Heket: From what? Lambert: Weapons. Kallamar: Time for more adult supervision.
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Lambert: Man, I’m gonna get fat if you keep feeding me all these chips and junk! Narinder: I’M NOT! I was eating them and you took them. Lambert: You said I should try some! Narinder: I said they were good. Lambert: That’s not how I heard it.
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Heket: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Kallamar: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back... Lambert: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Leshy: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Shamura: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Narinder: Mental stability, my old friend! Heket: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?
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Leshy: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium* Kallamar: Leshy, what did you think a tiger shark was?
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Leshy: Do you ever feel like exploding? Have you experienced the urge to enter the process of combustion? Has your mind created a logical idea, known as thought, to disperse your body into thousands of particles suddenly? Heket: It’s 3 am, please go back to sleep.
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Lambert, handing a balloon to Narinder: I have no soul. Have a good day! Narinder, walking off: I don't have one either.
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Leshy: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? Shamura: ICARUS?
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Narinder: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Heket: Narinder: Vroom vroom, come out already.
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Heket: How are you gonna carve a gigantic pumpkin? Narinder: The same way I make onion rings! Narinder: *grabs a chainsaw*
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Leshy: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Heket: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. Leshy: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. Heket: But I heard a siren. Narinder: That was Kallamar. Kallamar: Sorry, I got nervous.
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Heket: So uh, for this party and everything, do you, uh... Kallamar, sighing: You don't know how to dress for this, do you? Heket, panicked: WHAT IS CLOTHES???
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Narinder: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes. Kallamar: Wow, I've gotta hear this. Narinder: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share. Kallamar: You forgot pride. Narinder: No, I'm pretty proud of this.
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Shamura: Show me Pennsylvania. Leshy: I don’t know Canadian geography.
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Shamura: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Lambert, Narinder, & Leshy: Okay. Shamura: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Lambert: Bold of you to assume I have money. Kallamar: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Narinder: Bold of you to assume I can die.
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Narinder: I’m afraid of clowns. There, I said it. Shamura: Narinder, if you don't like clowns, why are you hanging with Lambert?
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Lambert: Narinder- Narinder: *sighs* Shamura used to call me Narinder... Lambert: ...Because it's your fucking name.
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Narinder, holding out a cookie for Lambert: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you! Lambert: *Ugly crying* Narinder, holding out another cookie for Leshy: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! Leshy, throwing their hands in the air: What does that mean?!
🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤
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sdfgderp · 4 months
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a/n: need me a simeon in these hard and trying times… i am frothing at the mouth, convulsing, GIVE ME A SIMEON!!! here i am with my delulus na kasama ko si simeon nung naging lector ako sa school AHHHH 😓 pasilyo as inspo 🫶
simeon x gn!reader (self-indulgent because in these hard and trying times why not)
cw: religious themes, pre-established relationship, they’re high school students in a catholic school here (simeon is a teen, matching the reader (he’s not older than reader)), you and simeon are altar servers, insecure reader (projecting), the term “bride” is used but only for figurative language (not indicative of the reader’s gender), kind of Filipino AU? just written in english
synopsis: simeon is so damn pretty and nice, you think you fall short. luckily for you, he thinks otherwise, and really wants to marry you when the time comes for the both of you.
fic is under the cut!
Father as Our Witness
“prayers again?”
you look up to meet smiling azure eyes, the black cassock reflecting in his irises. simeon was carrying togas and a coin box, and after some insistence, you took the togas from him to lighten his load. setting down the clipboard of prayers down a table, you stand up and walk with him towards the back of the chapel.
“as usual, the top of the batch got first reading. quite fitting for him, no?” you remarked bitterly.
simeon chuckles and replies, “is that jealousy i hear?”
you stay silent, shifting your attention to the people going in the chapel already. simeon gives you a gentle nudge, as if to remind you of your conversation. you sigh in defeat, swallowing your pride.
“you’re hard to be around when i feel like hating someone for having better things happen to them. in fact, i feel like i’ve done such a big sin.”
“please don’t feel bad, we all want the best for ourselves. you’re not a bad person to feel this way,” the angel reassures. “why, what’s making it hard for you to be around me when you’re feeling… that way?”
you choose your words carefully despite talking through a tough confrontation. “you don’t feel these, simeon. you’re… different. i’m petty, i’m envious of an impossible person, i’m impatient to change. simeon, i’m not the best person, and the fact that we’re together doesn’t even seem real to me.”
he doesn’t respond. you gulp down the sob building up your throat, worried about his response. the two of you reach the back of the chapel, setting down the things you two brought in its right places. your throat ached setting out those words for him. communicating was not your best suit, especially if it was about your feelings.
“i take it back, forget it, it’s wrong, i shouldn’t have thought that,” you sighed. as you smooth out the togas held by hangers, a hum of the psalms tickled your ear. simeon stands beside you, facing the altar. he pauses his song to look at you.
“love, you’re not a bad person. you’re human and i don’t judge you for that. just because i’m closer in creation to father doesn’t mean i have the right to judge you.”
you purse your lips and face nowhere, looking anywhere but the angel’s eyes. a sinner you were, and a sinner you will be. that was the truth for those around you, but why not for him? your doubt-filled heart found it hard to take that, thus you resorted to forcing out the reassuring words he gave you from yourself. an unhealthy habit you wish to unlearn for him.
“right, i’m sorry.” you pause, struggling to take the words out of your mouth. the angel smiles at you, sighing.
“nevermind that. me being an angel is quite the hindrance between us. but, even with that,” simeon continues, taking your hand in his discreetly. “prayers sound beautiful when they come out of your lips, no matter what kind. if you were a bit nicer, you’d fit right in.”
a smile formed on your lips as you shook your head. “you really have to stop being this smooth. keep being nice to me and i fear i’m going to be the red flag in our relationship, simeon.”
“and you are. do i mind? not really.”
“tch, what does that mean!”
you scoff at him and take a toga, putting it over your head. simeon pulls down the toga while you slip your arms into its sleeves. he pats down the toga along with you, straightening it out. you tie a knot to its string, and notice your undone hair in the mirror in front of you.
“ah, i’ll fix this, be right back,” you say, striding to the comfort room. simeon hums in response and goes back to the table for the offerings.
twisting the ends of your hair as you went out, you saw simeon mingling with other altar servers about the procession. some boys helped one another put on their cassocks, while some of them joked around with some religious apparatus. simeon held a strained smile, most likely uncomfortable by their horseplay. he caught your eye and signalled the two of you to talk somewhere else. you follow him to the back of the altar to carry out the remaining things needed for the mass at the back of the chapel.
you took a cup from the cabinet and broke the silence. “hehe, i could see you wanted to tell the younger ones from playing with those. would you be annoyed if i told you i’ve done worse with them as a kid?”
“you were a kid, what did you know? but that surprises me, you didn’t strike me as a wild child. i didn’t think you even went through a childhood,” simeon replies.
“simeon, if i wasn’t smitten with you and your stupid face, i would have punched you.”
he snickered at your retort, moving you to retaliate. as he moved to nudge you, you panicked and swiped your finger in the incense, smearing a mark on his cheek. simeon scoffs and follows suit, attempting to do the same to you. you flaunt your white toga, exclaiming, “no, no! don’t do that, i have white clothes. if you smear me, i’ll blame you!”
“that’s not fair. alright,” simeon retreats, “but you owe me food later.”
you both stop your shenanigans, resuming what you two were supposed to be doing. you take out the incense and wipe the dust off its container. simeon was folding cloth needed for the mass. a few minutes later, you two head back to the back of the chapel, carrying the items you needed.
simeon walked down the aisle and you followed him.
the two of you walked in slow strides. you both had numerous religious apparatus in hand, and you did not need a lecture from your handler. at some point the aisle looked longer than usual, prompting you to look at simeon.
his hair fell down perfectly, curling slightly at the tips. his blue eyes reflected the gold of the cups he was holding and the black of his cassock. the sun seeped through the chapel’s stained windows, the light shining upon the angel, forming a halo decorated with color. you stare at him in awe, mind lost. lord, give me strength. if repenting for jealousy was something you should do to keep this angel by your side, you would do it ten times over.
unbeknownst to you, simeon has been staring at you in his peripheral vision. the white toga that cascaded over your uniform resembled you as his partner to be wed. your walk mirrored how a bride walked through the aisle in a traditional wedding. simeon had half a mind to take off the black cassock and leave his white toga on to delude himself in a picture of your wedding day. bells clamored at the back of the chapel, sun rays peeked through the stained glass, and the devotees brought flowers. his resolve met defeat, giving in to the temptation to look at you. simeon thought your envy was for naught; there was nothing more he could want from you.
“mc,” simeon murmured. “you look nice in white.” you were confused at his compliment. “thank you? haha, love what was that for?”
“i really… want to see you in this. in front of my father, our father, bearing witness to our vows. if he approves, i will flaunt you. if he does not, i will still do the same. i want to see you again in this, but in different white clothes, walking down the aisle of the church.”
simeon catches himself saying this, looking away from your gaze. “if you want to, that is. we’re still young, we don’t know the future-“
“i don’t mind, especially if it’s you.” your stomach lurched in cringe when you realized you basically said yes to his indirect proposal, but your heart fluttered at the way the angel’s expression lit up in excitement. once you both reached the back of the chapel, you set down the religious apparatus. as soon as your hands were free, simeon flung his arms around you and let out a soft laugh. the other altar boys snicker at the sight, but you couldn’t care less.
“is this your way of dealing with my insecurities?” you chuckle, pulling away to save face. “you’re overdoing it. i’m done sulking.”
simeon gives you a smile pretty enough to send you to heaven, “did it work? if you want a stronger guilt trip, you can turn to raphael. although, that would make me the jealous one.” you nudge his shoulder.
“and i’ll be the reassuring one? ah, how cute, i can imagine coaxing you to be happy again when you’re all and pouty that i’m not giving you a time of my day,” you chided.
you forget your self-deprecating episode from earlier, and go on with simeon in preparing for the mass.
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thatinwardhell · 2 years
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Can I request something smutty about being on holiday with Sidney Crosby, him enjoying you in all the tiny bikinis you’ve packed. Totally self indulgent lmao!!
urgghhhh your mind!!!!!! this can be read as a little tiny follow-up to oh say can you see or as a standalone. my requests/thirsts are always open!!!! sorry this took so long school has been kicking my ass lmao.
Sidney thought that Saint-Tropez would be a good idea. And, in it of itself, it was good - soft, sandy beaches, warmed by the kind face of the riviera sun, an escape from places where Sidney would be recognized, from the ghosts of a devastating second-round loss that sent the Pens home that you could tell still haunted him.
There was nothing wrong with the house, or the beaches, or the activities. No, because, as horrible as it sounded, the problem was you.
Or, more specifically, the obscenely tiny bikinis you donned, each and every day, as if on a fucking schedule.
Your collection never seemed to dry - tiny, sweet gingham numbers, white eyelet triangle bikinis, a little baby-blue tie-string thing that Sidney could almost perfectly picture himself pulling the strings off of.
For the first five days, you'd worn your tiny, tiny bikinis out to the beach, whether it be to sunbathe or rub sunscreen into tempting little circles on the broad expanse of Sidney's back or lay out flat on a beach towel and let him imagine all the things he'd do to you once you got inside.
And for the first five days, Sidney held back. Despite the small, hoarse pleas that slipped from your watermelon chap-stick flavored lips about how no one will see us here, and c'mon, Sid, don't be such an old man, Sidney retained the strong, somewhat unreasonable wish to only have sex inside the beach house.
But on the sixth day of your two-week trip, your (admittedly, very thin) resolve snapped. If there was one thing, one fucking thing you wanted to do on that goddamned trip, it was to have sex on the beach.
It was cliché. It was stupid, even, because God knew that Sid could and had fucked you good inside the spacious beach house, and that the sex might not even be better outside on the beach.
But it seemed wrong not to take advantage of the secluded, small nature of the beach immediately outside the house.
So, on the sixth day, you did what you did best - tested Sidney's patience.
From the shallow water, you watched intently as Sidney basked on the towel you'd set out, glowing in the midday sun as you hatched your plan, wading in the gentle, warm water.
God, did he look good. Laid out and shirtless, letting his skin turn warm with the sun's rays, eyes fluttered closed and brown hair smattered with sand.
Eyes trained on him, you waded out of the water, water dripping off the tiny bikini and rolling down your tanned skin in little droplets. He had opened his eyes then, squinting at the blueness of the sky and taking a good, long look at you and that sinful fucking bikini. Sidney smiled then, ever so slightly, sat up, eyes still heavy-lidded and so slightly sleepy, arms outstretched to welcome you to them.
You giggled and thought your plan was working because, maybe, it was. Despite being older, and wiser, and more mature, Sidney tended to be oblivious to your little plots to seduce him - maybe because he really just didn't know, or perhaps because he wanted to play along because he knew it'd get him what he wanted either way.
Either way, you settled in his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck and strategically placing your ass against the growing tent in his still-dry trunks, and pecked him on the cheek.
"You enjoying yourself?" Sidney asked, almost knowingly, letting his eyes wander all over your scantily-clad figure.
"Hm," You hummed, pressing your face into his neck, smiling as you felt him shiver at the wet kisses you left there. "'Course I am."
Sidney contemplated, for a moment. He knew for a fact he was already half-hard (though he closed his eyes when you looked over, he had been watching you skip about in the water, despite being "asleep.) He knew how much you wanted to fuck on the beach. He knew how bad he wanted you and how much he didn't want to go in and dry off and shower the sand and salt off yourselves and then finally fuck. He knew that the paparazzi-
You were kissing down his sternum then, leaving a messy trail of saliva on your way down as you sunk lower and lower in his lap, letting his hands come to toy with the little knots on either side of your bikini bottoms.
"C'mon, Sid, please," You whined, kissing his collarbone as you let your hand slip down to the edge of his swim trunks. "Please, daddy, come on,"
You smiled when you felt his hand tug at the strings of your tiny bikini bottoms. You didn't pull the daddy card often - only when you really wanted to rile him up - and it worked flawlessly every time. Somehow, some way, the tiny, little word always seemed to snap Sidney's resolve like a twig.
Sidney flipped the two of you then - smelling of some cologne you couldn't place and the sticky scent of arousal and saltwater, holding himself above you by his forearms as he gazed down at you, brown eyes laden with some unplaceable emotion.
"Is this all you wanted, baby?" He murmured, licking his lips predatorily, as if about to devour you as you laid, helpless, desperate, smelling of sweet stickiness, beneath him. "For me to fuck you on the beach?"
"Yeah," You whispered, shrinking under Sidney bashfully as you felt him untie the other fastener of your bottoms, and pull them down, just enough to expose your pussy to him as he smirked knowingly at you.
"Just real quick, m'kay?" He spoke against your skin, pulling his own shorts down just enough to pull his cock out, pink, maybe red, in the midday light, dripping with precum as you stared, heat rising to your cheeks as you wrapped yourself around Sidney and braced yourself.
He pushed into you, slowly, tenderly, as if afraid to hurt you (though he'd gone rough before, in your young relationship, and though you preferred it rough,) sighing a soft string of curses against the whisper of your supple cheek, eyes closed in bliss.
"Always feel so good for me, baby," Sidney murmured, now fully seated inside of you as you gasped softly at the feeling of fullness. He chuckled, then, smiling a soft smile and you knew that the soft act was falling away. "This was all you wanted, huh, you little slut?"
He was moving, then, pulling out and pushing back in with increasing animosity, as up building up to something. The snap of Sidney's hips against your echoed through the flatness of the secluded beach, furthering the fluttering feeling inside that you could be caught at any minute, that someone could-
"It turns you on to know someone could see us like this," Sidney almost growled against your neck, the tip of his cock brushing against a soft, squishy part inside that made you squeal. "Doesn't it, baby? Huh? You want someone to walk over here and see you acting like such a little whore?"
You whined and nodded pathetically, tearing up as he snapped his hips against that spongey spot over and over, leaving you fucking speechless.
"Say it, sweet baby," Sidney groaned, eyes glazed over as he lifted himself up again to see your splotchy face, wet with something like tears or spit, moaning and gurgling helplessly. "I wanna hear you say it."
"I'mm," You trailed off, convulsing as you felt yourself teeter, becoming desperate.
"You can't cum 'til you say it, angel, just say it," Sidney spoke softly, smiling down at you as you struggled to put together the words. "You wanna cum so bad, huh, doll?"
You nodded, teary-eyed and open-mouthed, so, so close, so close to finding your words and finally tumbling over the edge.
"I want someone to, unghh," You groaned, as Sidney snapped his hips harder, faster, almost egging you on as he felt himself getting close. "S-see me acting like such a little whore! I wanna cum, Sid, please, please let me cum."
"Go ahead, baby, you've been a good girl," He felt you shake apart against him almost immediately, wailing and leaving red lines in wake of your nails down his back, desperately trying to find purchase against the waves of bliss that just kept knocking you down.
A particularly hard kick of your pussy pulled Sidney down with you, spilling inside as he panted on top of you, murmuring praises into your hair as you both came down, basking in the sun and the afterglow.
Sidney slowly pulled out of you, leaving you whining at the feeling of emptiness inside, pulling his trunks back up and standing on shaky legs, snatching your discarded bikini bottoms as he did.
"C'mon, let's go back inside baby, get you cleaned up," You stared affectionately up at him as he wrapped you up in the towel you'd been laying on, guiding you inside with the sand burning your feet.
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gayuu-the-necromancer · 11 months
Text
William Rex Chapter 15
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It felt like an eternity, but it had only been just a few minutes.
Following the sound of the room door opening, a single footstep slowly approaches.
(It's not William....)
(.......Where did I hear these footsteps?)
My body could move freely now, but I didn't want to hide my crying face.
William is no longer here to entangle my hand and expose my heart.
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When I slowly raised my body, I found Victor standing there with a somewhat sad smile on his face.
(I think I've seen this expression before, staring back at me)
----FLASHBACK-----
Victor: "Are you ready to stand by his beautiful solitude....his fate?"
(I thought about it over and over until the door opened)
...........
Kate: "Indeed, it may not be possible right now...to accept your destiny without grieving."
-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----
(If I had been prepared to say. 'I'll accept your destiny' something would have been different....)
(But.......no matter how much I think about it, I don't think I'm ready for that)
To think that William could be killed tomorrow,
I feel like I'm going crazy because I'm in so much pain.
Deeply caring for someone and fearing the loss of that person are two sides of the same coin.
Kate: "Did William leave the castle.....?"
William: "......Yeah. Just now."
(I can't believe you suddenly put an end to it like this and want me to remember you)
(You don't want me to, so don't love me....)
Kate: "William is......selfish......!"
A hoarse voice flowed out from a new wound in my heart.
Victor: "Yes. That's the nature of his curse, that's his predestined nature....and the way his heart chose to live."
Victor: "I want everyone in the Crown to be free, and I don't want to get in the way of William's life either.....sorry."
Victor: "But of course, I won't stand in your way either. You are free to hate him or not as you wish."
Kate: "....William refused me, even to the point of using his abilities on me and depriving me of my freedom, his most prized thing."
Kate: " 'It will make me unhappy'', he says. That's a selfish reason."
Victor: "...........Did he? Did he give you a reason?"
Victor: "..... Well, I'm not going to change the fact that it's self-indulgent even if I explain it to you."
Victor: "That's why you're so terribly angry."
Kate: "Yes. ....That's why."
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Kate: "I'm not going to give up on him, hating him as evil as he wants me to...."
Victor: ".........."
Kate: "There is no reason why I should kill my feelings for him just because William doesn't want me."
(If you kill your heart and stand still, you will only have bitter regrets)
(It was my days at the Crown......and William himself that taught me that)
(If William doesn't want me around, he is free to do so)
(But I also don't think I could stand by and watch him get hurt)
(You should be free to seek vindication for William's unforgivable sins)
Kate: "Victor, I know that this is a departure from my duties as a 'fairy tale master' but I have a favor to ask you."
Victor: "......What is that?"
 。⋆。˚🦋˚。⋆。
Kate: "I would like to correct that newspaper article. Could you please give me a moment to speak with the members of the Crown?"
Victor: "............"
Victor's had a momentary, horrifying smile on his face.
Victor: ".....I'm calling everyone in the common room so we can discuss the future."
Victor: "If you wish, I would be happy to have you present."
.........
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Liam: "Kate.....!"
When I stepped into the common room, Liam was the first to run up to me.
Liam: "Will told me not to open the room until he left the castle. I was worried but I couldn't go....Sorry."
Kate: "I'm fine, thanks Liam. But you don't have to apologize because its not your fault."
Liam: "....Mm."
Liam: "Haha, Kate is more determined than I am."
Liam: "I guess that's why, he refused when you asked to follow him."
Kate: "Liam..."
Harrison: "......Nothing is going to change no matter how determined you are."
Harrison lightly poked Liam's forehead, whose eyes looked cloudy.
Harrison: "Of course, he left to keep the Crown out of the fire."
Liam: "Yeah that's right. ....Sorry, I became moody again. Forget it!"
Victor: "Well, thank you for your patience, gentlemen. Let's talk about the future."
The voice called out in a light tone and the eyes of the Crown members were drawn to Victor.
(I, must listen carefully too)
Victor: "First of all, we must act with the utmost care to protect William's Crown."
Victor: "We're not allowed to act in any way that would benefit the Privy Council or have any contact with William."
Victor held up his finger as if he were a teacher.
Jude: "Tsk....He's the one who started it."
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Jude: "I'm wondering why he didn't notice the presence of the outsider in the first place."
Victor: "William was aware that there was an uninvited guest at the scene of the assassination of the Marquis of Avalus."
(! That reminds me....)
-----FLASHBACK-----
William: "Don't worry, they will be fine."
William: "It's....better for them, if they aren't on the field."
------FLASHBACK ENDS------
(When you said it was better to stay away from the scene of the crime, was it because you were aware.....of the third-party intervention?)
Jude: "If he had known, he should have killed him right then and there."
Victor: "It didn't look 'evil' to him. Besides..."
Victor: "He might have even guessed that the third party was a newspaper reporter while he was there."
Victor: "I'm sure he thought it would be a great help getting the rest of the 'golden butterflies' to publicize his decapitation."
Jude: ".....Haa. As crazy as always."
Jude: "William has known for 13 years how the Privy Council operates and 'Butterfly'."
Victor: "The Privy Council would be happy to have the Marquis of Avalus, their pawn, as the Crown fodder."
Victor: "They will not interfere with what the Marquis is doing, nor would they get their own hands dirty and judge them."
Victor: "Despite the 'butterfly' as a stain on his reputation, he kept silent, preferring to maintain order for the sake of appearance...."
Victor: ".....Just like 13 years ago."
Victor: "If we had overlooked the Marquis that night, he would have created the next victim by now."
Victor: "That's why he had to settle it right there."
Ellis: ".......So you're saying it's best not to do anything now?"
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Victor: "I told you what I said before. Any action that might benefit the Privy Council and no contact with William."
(.....This is their policy as the Crown. We have to take it seriously)
I was just listening to Victor's words with my breath held in my throat, when suddenly, his eyes caught mine.
Victor: "If it is feasible, even with the condition of protecting them...Miss Kate, can you give us a suggestion?"
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Kate: "I want...to correct the article and expose who was behind the writing of it."
(I can't believe that William has to bear the guilt of the 'Golden Butterfly' that made him decide to live as evil....)
------Options-------
(It's too unreasonable)
(I'm not convinced)
(I can't allow)
-----------
(I, for one, will not tolerate it)
(Even if William himself accepted it and even wanted it)
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Elbert: "................."
Alphonse: "Interesting....pardon me, but is that even possible?"
Kate: "I know the reporter who wrote that article, Mr. Brian. I have a way to contact him."
Kate: "If he was there at the time of assassination....I'm sure he must have also seen me collapse."
Kate: "If I tell him that I need to talk to him about something, I'm sure he will guess that it's about William."
Alphonse: "Fufu. That makes sense."
Kate: "If I can convince him, I may be able to get him to write a correction article!"
Kate: "That would at least shake the grounds for public judgement of William on the part of the Privy Council."
(It should also be more difficult to move the police in a big way)
Harrison: "If you want to ask him about the identity of the mastermind behind all of this, then I don't think you are capable of such a high level of persuasion and interrogation."
Kate: "That is certainly where my concern lies. It is true that William killed the Marquis and that in itself is a juicy sin."
Kate: "I can't even talk about the Crown. I don't know if he will believe that William had nothing to do with the evil of the Butterflies...."
Kate: "Frankly, I'm not sure how much Mr. Brian has seen of William."
Kate: "But....I'm not going to give up before I've even tried."
Harrison: "......."
(If only he knew that William's heart was always inclined to love someone other than himself...)
(I am sure my voice will be heard, I think so., though I may just be imposing my ideal image on Mr. Brian)
------FLASHBACK------
William: "I too, find him attractive because of his strong sense of justice and his strength to take action."
-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----
William's smile at that moment was the backdrop to my heart.
Kate: "However, I am still under a one-month surveillance period. I know I am not allowed to have secret meetings with newspaper reporters..."
Kate: "But I want to help William...and this is the only way I can think of to help him..."
Kate: "So, I'd like your permission to meet up with Mr. Brian."
Victor: "....Contacting them under you name might indeed be a good way to get in touch."
Victor: "But isn't it a little too risky to go see him in person?"
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Jude: "I and Ellis will go in place of this normie."
(Eh....?)
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Roger: "Hey hey, what's with the sudden wind-up?"
Jude: "I don't care if you wanna correct William's article or not, but the revenue from the Crown is an important source of funding. I don't want to see it slip."
Jude: "If you want to shackle him and get that guy to spill out who's behind it, then I'm good at that."
Kate: "Can you at least take me with you? I want to persuade him with as little force as possible....!"
Jude: "Are you an idiot? Why should I give priority to taking time to understand his feelings? It's a waste of time, anyways."
Kate: "That's right but....I want to believe that he will understand if I talk to him. Please."
Jude: ".....How disgusting."
Kate: "If we use force from the beginning and no information comes out, then there is no hope for further dialogue.
Kate: "Wouldn't it be more rational to talk to him first and then use force?"
Jude: "..........Tch."
Jude: "I'll give you 3 minutes to talk. After that, you won't say a word."
Jude: "I don't like an amateur yapping away at me while I'm torturing someone."
(If don't convince him in 3 minutes....he will be tortured)
Kate: "Okay, I understand.....Victor, is it okay?"
Victor: "Hmmm, it's true that it would be less dangerous if Jude and Ellis are with you..."
Victor: "If things get rough, Jude can make an excuse by telling that he's there for his usual collection."
Jude: "Why would you think that I'd use something as boring as that as an excuse?"
Victor: "Okay. You do whatever you feel like is convenient."
Kate: "Thank you very much!"
Ellis: "Are you going to take me with you? That's unusual."
Jude: "I don't like having long conversations with people that have such thick skulls."
After being brushed off by Mr. Jude, Ellis whispered to me.
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Ellis: "If push comes to shove, I'll tie up Jude. So don't worry, okay?"
Kate: ".....Are you sure?"
Jude: "I'll beat you down before that."
I wrote a letter to Mr. Brian in haste that day and it was secretly delivered by Victor.
In a few days, he replied back.
'Tomorrow, I'll be at your post office, in the evening. Let's meet there."
..................
The day finally came to meet him. The air was thick and was a perfect atmosphere for a secret meeting.
Kate: ".......Okay, I'll go first."
In the back alley of the post office, I managed to soothe my raging heartbeat that was about to burst from nervousness, and looked at the two men in front of me.
Ellis: "Be careful. If anything happens, call for us."
Jude: "............"
Mr. Jude doesn't reply, but was checking his pocket watch.
(I only have 3 minutes...)
(Let's not waste any more time)
...........
Stepping into the quiet post office, I saw a red-haired man standing in the shadows of the blue night.
Kate: "Mr. Brian....?"
Brian: "Oh, it's you!"
When I called out to him, Mr. Brian came rushing toward me with a pale and worried expression.
Brian: "I've been wondering if you were all right....you asked me to meet you here, so I'm assuming you want to talk to me about Sir Rex?"
Kate: "I'll get to the point right away. I am here today to persuade you."
Brian: "Persuade? What are you---?"
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Kate: "I want you to correct the article about William being involved in human and drug trafficking."
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Mr. Brian stared at me as if he was looking at something shocking.
Brian: "I.....I don't understand. Why are asking me something like that?"
Mr. Brian grabs both of my hands as if he had just noticed something.
Brian: "Is he threatening you? You saw with your own eyes the barbaric acts he has done to the Marquis of Avalus."
Brian: "You also fell unconscious after that! If he's forcing you then...!"
Kate: "Please listen, I'm begging you."
Kate: "The crime I just asked you to retrace was actually committed by the Marquis of Avalus himself."
Kate: "William was there, trying to stop him-----"
Brian: "Sir Rex is a monster! He used his strange powers to manipulate people and kill them atrociously, even if they are one of his own!"
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Kate: "....He's not a monster! He's a human! And he is not associated with the Marquis of Avalus."
(Stay calm....stay calm...!)
Kate: "He was always on the side of those who wanted freedom,, right?"
Kate: "You also said that he is a person who likes to push people and give generous support."
Kate: "Do you really think someone like that would get involved in human and drug trafficking that take away people's dignity.....?"
Brian: "That's...That's all an act of self-preservation to discredit us and deceive the public."
(Self-preservation...?)
For William, that word doesn't suit him at all.
Kate: "Is the person who made you write that article....so trustworthy that you would be forced to accept such words?"
My heart aches violently in my chest, whether from sadness or frustration.
Kate: "Who in the world led you to the house of the Marquis?"
Brian: "That....I can't tell you that."
Brian: "But why are you so devoted to William Rex? Who put you up for this?"
Kate: ".......Nn."
(I can't talk about the Crown)
(I don't know. We're running parallel)
In my impatience, I heard sadistic laughter from the darkness behind me.
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Jude: "Hah, I knew this would happen anyways."
Brian: "Who are you guys...!"
Jude: "Why do you care? ....Ellis, do your job."
A black shadow moved as if swimming in the small room, and Ellis's large palm touched Mr. Brian's head.
Brian: "Nn!?"
Immediately, Mr. Brian's wrists were bound together, as if by some kind of fetters and he was unable to move them.
(Is that Ellis's ability....!?)
William: "W-What is this...Oof!?"
Mr. Jude kicked Mr. Brian towards the floor as hard as he could.
Unable to passively roll over, Mr. Brian groaned in pain.
Jude: "Now start talking. Who told you to do that?"
Kate: "Mr. Jude, wai---"
Jude: "Didn't I tell you to keep your mouth shut after your time's up?!"
Kate: "Mm...!"
The voice that was directed at me made my body jerk.
As if pleased with my reaction, Mr. Jude laughs.
Jude: "....Don't forget the promise you made to me."
Kate: "I'll pay the price of breaking my promise with you. Please...!"
Brian: "You're guys, comrades of Sir Rex, as well....!?"
Jude: "Comrades? What a disgusting word."
I jumped in front of Mr. Jude, who was about to stomp on Mr. Brian's face and seize him.
Kate: "Mr. Brian....I know you are not the kind of person who writes lies and put people down."
Kate: "It's true that William killed someone that night, but...."
Kate: "I can't just turn a blind eye to that article, just like that....."
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Brian: "Are you out of your mind? You know he's a murderer, and you want me to retract the article.....!"
Mr. Brian then gave one sharp whistle.
The door to the director's office opened and men who looked like policemen appeared without a sound.
Policeman: "Miss Kate...right? You seem to be very close with Sir Rex."
Policeman: "Tell us what you know about him. We will protect you.. We are not going to do anything bad, just come with us."
Chapter 16
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highoncatfood · 21 days
Note
im going to dump my thoughts on u here cuz i can anyway have u heard of the song Bed of Roses by Mindless Self Indulgence ive been listening to it on loop and i am going to share with u my interpretation of the lyrics cuz it seems im an outlier amongst what people (or atleast whats on the genius page) think it means but my take is so real and true to me
basically Bed of Roses is thought to be a song about being passive in life and letting things pass you by and happen as they do, not caring about making the perfect life, but for me personally it always came off as being about suicidal thoughts and that interpretation not only makes more sense to me but also is far more interesting
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'hey its alright my life has never been a bed of roses' is the singer talking about their life, saying how its unlike a bed of roses which are seen as beautiful and also a symbol of love (also searching it up it seems bed of roses is an expression for a carefree easy life) in short theyre saying their life sucks, but thinking of it in the context of it being suicidal its interesting because the 'hey its alright' then sounds like a rationalization, the following line 'this ways better for me' only helps with painting this image. its a person rationalizing their thoughts by going 'hey my life has always sucked, death would just be better for me'
and the line 'i dont care to live the life ive chosen' further adds to this, its explicitly saying they dont care to live their life
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then theres the next part, which is pretty similiar to the last but then there is the line 'dont feel sorry for me', they're asking an outside party to not feel bad for their planned demise, and its repetition makes it seem like begging almost. tying this into the earlier verses which can be read as rationalization makes it seem like the singer is a person trying to comfort and placate a close one, by rationalizing that their suicide will be better for them and begging them to not feel sorry
also 'feeling sorrys been my lifes devotion' is a banger line . i have thoughts on what it could be interpreted as but i feel like the connections arent strong enough and the line like speaks for itself i think
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i think this part could be about being resistance to change or healing, it could be a negative reaction to this outside party trying to talk them out of it or reason with them, but in the end they still say 'my friend' showing they care and love them. the 'screw you' could perhaps also be read as someone trying to distance themselves from their loved ones in hopes that their death wont be as painful then
i think its interesting how after that the song ends with just a reptition of 'my lifes never been a bed of roses', perhaps im looking too far into it but it could be seen as the 'last stage', of fixating on the worst parts of life as you spiral annnd .
anyway i like this song and i kinda associate this song with seth but 4 different reasons (flower imagery, lifes sucked, not wanting pity, 'feeling sorrys been my life devotion' -> religion with its emphasis on remorse for sins and devotion. etc.)
was not expecting this at all and i dont know this song but! i like this interpretation thank u for sharing honestly i always love to read too much into lyrics and i tend to come up with diff interpretations than wht was most likely the artists intention
for example recently ive been thinking of reuse the cels by car seat headrest as a song abt gender dysphoria and the transition process (when in.reality its abt like. getting back into a relationship with someone which havent worked out in the past or whetevr)
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i like to think the narrator is actually talking abt themself 'i should be glad to have you back' the 'you' being their own sense of identity
'i know every frame so many times that ive seen' refering to their own body, reminiscent of how a lot of trans folks experiencing dysphoria who tend to worry abt their self image and the ways their body looks, r constantly thinking abt it and spotting every detail, being forced to look at it everyday, wishing it was something esle/wanting to change it
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this chorus and lines to me r abt hrt and like. thinking of times before realizing they were trans, times when maybe they were oblivious and not yet so worried abt their body and/or identity and wanting to not have to worry again and be happy with themself, hoping tht hrt will help with that. but at the same time the fear and anxiety that comes with not knowing if medically transitioning will guarantee being freed from all the insecurity and pain caused by the dysphoric feelings. asking urself what if it doesnt satisfy. wht if going through all that trouble, all those changes, spending all that time and money doesnt even bring the result ur hoping for. is it worth it? u dont have to do all of that. wht if all it does is drain u of energy and hope and actually make u into something further from wht ur goal was (symbolized by fading colors on reused animation cels [idk much abt that but also u could interpret it as like real body cells i guess] like.... the repeating process of replacing hormones, going through constant physical changes and stuff) so generally like. indecision and thinking too far ahead/overthinking i guess. does any of that make sense im jst saying whtever comes to mind at this point i gave up on trying to keep this cohesive
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'doesnt it seem an awful waste' and 'will i lose you again' can be the narrator again referring to themself, thinking that the person they were pre-transition will fade away. that they couldve lived a completely different life, that all they do is bring 'that girl or boy they couldve been' to an end. replacing them with the desired version of themself, but not sure if thats still even the same person they used to be
and. i think it should be obvious but this is all based on how i myself deal with and think of my identity as a trans person. i feel like i should clarify that this isnt me saying that this is the experience of every trans person, each of us is different etc etc
um anyway yeah thanks for the ask wiki i might listen to the song u talked abt at some point <3
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dykejaskier · 1 month
Note
Ik you said this ages ago and in the tags of a post, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on Rüdeger and his mental health
anon i'm down on one knee proposing rn thank you for sending this in
stray thoughts and ramblings (sorry if this is messy, it's getting to 6 am and i have Not slept):
i'm really curious as to how his identity interacts with his faith. from my understanding, monasteries were intended to be safe havens away from the secular world (my notes from a course on early mediaeval monasticism call them "a place where a life similar to that of the angels takes place, a harbour of calm that resists the storms of the world of outside") - and so he's in this space that's meant to be separated from "sin" but at the same time, he's living in it through his identity* and relationship (at least according to the institution he's a part of). i'd love to know how he views himself, the church, the concept of sin in the first place - like obviously he's terrified of anyone finding out about them, but from memory it's expressed more so as worry over mathieu? which in turn makes me wonder if that's because he's at peace with his own fate due to self-deprecating reasons and so doesn't bother worrying about himself (i'm sinful and will go to hell regardless but mathieu deserves better) or if he thinks there's nothing sinful about their relationship in the first place (and so persecuting mathieu, the man he loves, over it, is unfathomable and unfair) [*i'm aware that the concept of queerness as an identity is more contemporary, but i couldn't think of a better word]
also curious as to how he ended up at kiersau. we don't know his backstory - how'd he end up becoming a monk? did something happen to drive him towards it? is there a precedent for him running away from things (if andreas blackmails him and mathieu, he leaves, i think to protect mathieu)? inquiring minds would like to know
hc time: i think that the town turning on them in act II feels that much more terrifying because while they're not persecuting him because of his queerness, it's entirely likely that they/others would, if their relationship was revealed. so the whole thing is like a manifestation of his worst fears. no wonder he's upstairs having a panic attack
SPEAKING OF. anxiety girlie who gets panic attacks and self-soothes by singing. and i'm sure mathieu's presence calms him (doubly so because mathieu's probably the only person in his life who gets it. who understands him. who sees him without that act of perceiving being judgemental)
another question: what does rüdeger himself think of his mental health issues? we have the language to describe it now, with modern terms, but - and not to paint with a broad stroke - a 16th century monk probably wouldn't necessarily internalise something like a panic attack as being a health issue, but rather a spiritual affliction. which brings me back to wondering how he thinks of himself, and of god, and if it's possible he views his issues as a divine punishment (like how some fundies describe depression as like. being something given to them by the devil? that they can pray away?)
in my self-indulgent hc, he feels better after leaving kiersau. mathieu getting a big promotion probably brings new anxieties but at the same time, makes them just a bit more untouchable. also, if andreas was not an asshole about discovering them in the library, i feel that'd give him an opportunity to see that people can be good and understanding about him/them (though i also have a feeling that rüdeger is the type of person to believe the best about people, at least when's he's not actively spiralling. mathieu does describe him as "a gentle soul" and "a kind and thoughtful man")
that's all i have for now. i love him and mathieu so much, they deserve everything <3
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...
:)
Otis Driftwood
"Hold still, will 'ya?" The mean bastard said- or rather ordered- as he roughly pinned your hips down and still, pushing his cock further inside you. As far as he could go at least; he was already so deep inside you, "The point 'a this is that you don't get to move 'til I'm done. Got it?"
~
Jim Bickerman
His beard scratched at the skin of your cheek, though you could also feel that amused smirk on his face even while he pressed kisses to your cheek. His calloused hands traveled down to your currently bare hips and thighs, letting out a chuckle when you tried to subtly roll your hips on his dick, "Ah, c'mon sugar, just a little longer? I think you need this as much as I do anyway~"
~
Jafar
You let out a content moan as you leaned back against the vizier's chest. It had been such a long and unforgiving day, and now, you two were relaxing with each other; his cock buried balls deep inside your warm cunt, and you were all too happy to enjoy this perfectly full feeling. The sinful purr Jafar let out was enough to make you clench more around him, but then he spoke, "When I am sultan, my first order will be to set aside more time to enjoy my servant more often~"
~
Greasy Weasel
"Mi vida~" His husky voice was laced with lust- more so than usual, he loved it when you were in this state- as he took a break from sucking on your neck to breath in your ear. Not once did he stop rubbing your clit or loosen his grip on the leg he was propping up for you. You could tell with the occasional rocking of his hips that he desperately wanted to start thrusting and chase his own pleasure. But he wouldn't. He knew you needed this right now, "Relax, mi amor~ Just let me take care of you tonight~"
(You probably already know who this is, but I felt like going on anon tonight XD I hope you enjoyed these! ^^)
I... THANK YOU! These hit the exact spot I needed!! I see that cheeky little smile but these genuinely helped so much!! Omg, I was just sitting there reading them and rereading them for like 20 minutes, I swear XD
I had to write more for them!! &lt;;3<3<3<3 I hope that’s okay !
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Warnings for, obviously, cockwarming and smutty themes- and also, periods. Also because this is very self-indulgent the reader is an afab female.
Otis B Driftwood:
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"Hold still, will 'ya?" The mean bastard said- or rather ordered- as he roughly pinned your hips down and still, pushing his cock further inside you. As far as he could go at least; he was already so deep inside you, "The point 'a this is that you don't get to move 'til I'm done. Got it?"
~
Feeling sleepy, warm and fulfilled, you stretch your arms up and arch your back like a cat before sighing, dropping your arms onto Otis’ shoulders, and nodding. “Yeah,” You yawn, shifting only enough to press your pelvis against his. “I got it… “
“Hmm, lookit that… “He grins cruelly. Being too tired to be scared of him right now, and feeling too lovely and full because the bastard actually has the perfect cock for you besides, you just blink at him; a hazy look on your face.
“Hm?”
“You couldn’t even last 2 seconds keeping fucken still. You’re that dumb.”
Rolling your eyes gently and sighing quickly, you give a sad little pout. “Sorry, Otis… I just… wanted to be closer to you… “
Looking at you like this, so weak and dumb in his lap painting his hard dick red with your cunt-blood, Otis - for once, - gives you a pass. You’re just too fucking cute like this, and feeling so good and hot around him, that he cant bring himself to push you off even for a goddamn second. No. He wouldn’t even let you go if someone walked in and shot at him. You’re gonna sit and squeeze his cock until you’re crying and begging for him to move, and then… well, he probably still won’t. Ha. Sucks to be her.
“… Okay, baby doll,” He smirks, leaning back slowly until he’s lying down, and gestures for you to follow and lay on his chest- which you’re all-too-happy to do, snuggling into him like a hot water bottle. His beard tickles your nose but that just make you smile into his neck, nuzzling into him more and giving him a little kiss. “Stay still okay? Gonna take a nap. Don’t fucken wake me.”
“Okay Otis… love you… “
Jim Bickerman:
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His beard scratched at the skin of your cheek, though you could also feel that amused smirk on his face even while he pressed kisses to your cheek. His calloused hands traveled down to your currently bare hips and thighs, letting out a chuckle when you tried to subtly roll your hips on his dick, "Ah, c'mon sugar, just a little longer? I think you need this as much as I do anyway~"
~
Giving a heavy groan, full of exhaustion and frustration, you settle more closely into Jim’s lap with your legs draped around his hips, and wrap your arms around his neck; Hugging him close and burying your head in his shoulder. You nod. “You’re right about that… “
“Relax, honey, I’ll take care a’ you.” Not that its going to be easy at all, he thinks, shifting uncomfortably at the feeling of your sweet little cunt bleeding and throbbin’ round him. He’s gonna try, though. For you. You just looked so damn worn out when you came home, complaining about the people you work with and your cramps, and the smile you gave him was so tired- he just wanted to cheer you up.
You laughed at his jokes when he tried to do it that way, but you were still so exhausted and droopy- so, plan B.
He loved plan B, but goddamn was it torture.
“… knew I kept you around for a reason… “You mumble, grinning into his flannel.
“Yeah, happy to remind you.” That rouses a chuckle out of you, before you take in a sharp, deep breath, and sit up straight again. Jim’s eyebrows furrow, and he’s about to reach out for you again to relax- but you’re just reaching back to unclip your bra and slip it out of the bottom of your shirt. You chuck it off to the corner of the room, flashing him a side eye afterwards.
“… don’t get any ideas.” You joke, your grin already becoming lighter and less frustrated.
Giving a shrug back and a wide-eyed ‘innocent’ look, Jim shakes his head. “Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart.”
You lean forward and rest yourself against him again, curling into him and burying your nose in his shoulder once more; Closing your eyes and giving a pleased sigh when he slips his hands under the back of your shirt.
Jafar:
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You let out a content moan as you leaned back against the vizier's chest. It had been such a long and unforgiving day, and now, you two were relaxing with each other; his cock buried balls deep inside your warm cunt, and you were all too happy to enjoy this perfectly full feeling. The sinful purr Jafar let out was enough to make you clench more around him, but then he spoke, "When I am sultan, my first order will be to set aside more time to enjoy my servant more often~"
~
“Perhaps we’ll stow away every month for an entire week… “He goes on, smirking hotly against the side of your head. “… I do love it when you bleed… “
“Yeah, fucking really helps with cramps… I feel so much better already… “Turning your head, you give Jafar a little kiss on the corner of his mouth; Twisting his beard around your fingers.
At this, Jafar pauses. “… well, that’s obviously a bonus.”
“Ha.” You say, rolling your eyes and letting go of his beard, resting back against his chest again; His body heat amazing against your lower back. Your eyes slowly fall closed, your head resting back against one of his broad shoulders. It feels so good…
With your knees bent and pointed towards the ceiling, your pussy - stretched around Jafar’s cock, coating it in slick and heavy flow, - is bare and Jafar takes this as an opportunity to reach around and use two fingers to stroke your sensitive lips around his length- just as a ‘bonus’.
Immediately your lips fall open and breathy moans start to slip from you while he grins and watches you writhe. You are beautiful, especially in this state - a mess from such a long, terrible day and all his, -, in your rightful place spread across his regal lap. Keeping him hot and wet, filling his ears with your sweet sounds… completely exposed and practically belonging to him.
… You were born a lowly servant… but it’s obvious you were meant to be his Sultana. And he will get you there.
Greasy Weasel:
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"Mi vida~" His husky voice was laced with lust- more so than usual, he loved it when you were in this state- as he took a break from sucking on your neck to breath in your ear. Not once did he stop rubbing your clit or loosen his grip on the leg he was propping up for you. You could tell with the occasional rocking of his hips that he desperately wanted to start thrusting and chase his own pleasure. But he wouldn't. He knew you needed this right now, "Relax, mi amor~ Just let me take care of you tonight~"
~
“Greas-yyy… “
“I know, I know… “Tilting his head and focusing in on your pretty little cunt, all pink and spread around him, his thumb skilfully keeping you at just the right place without making you cum. He may not have as much experience with the ladies that he would like, but he does know you and your body… He could play you like a fiddle if he wished to. And usually, he does. “I’ve got you, mi amore… “
But tonight is about you. You’ve had such a long couple of days, Smartass has pushed you too hard in his opinion, especially in your current state~… you just need a little bedroom time with him, though, and you’ll feel so much better. He’s sure.
“I-… I love you… This feels so good… “Your fingers curl into the fabric of his suit jacket, pulling him adorably closer- god, mierda… you really are irresistible in this state~ So needy, and whiny… It’s taking all he has to not ravage you. Screw you, until you’re a shaking mess and the other boys can all hear you shamelessly begging for him~... “Thank… you… “
“Of course, Y/N… “Greasy looks up, then, at your beautiful face, and can’t help leaning in to give you a kiss on the corner of your mouth. You just look so sweet, and pliant… God, he loves you. He has it so bad. Do you even know what you’ve done to him?? “Any time.”
You pull him back, then, to kiss you properly and fuck- mierda- damnit- you kiss him right now just as needily as you sound; Your lips warm and perfect, sucking against his as your tongue licks greedily along his. He allows himself to kiss you back as nastily as he wants to fuck you, swallowing your cute moans and feeling his cock twitch inside you.
Oh no no no! Immediately Greasy rips his mouth away from you, pressing his forehead against yours, breathing heavily and focusing for a moment on just bringing himself back from the brink; Getting a hold of himself. No, no. No cumming yet.
Not until you do.
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eternal-echoes · 5 months
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Hey!! I’m a catholic too, I never skip a sunday mass and I pray daily. I had a question about your views on abortion, gender and sexuality.
For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged:
and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
Matthew 7:2
I do view abortion as homicide and I personally would never do it but I do not feel in any way in the position to judge a woman for wanting to do an abortion just like I wouldn’t judge somebody killing in case of self defense. I am not God and the most valuable thing He gave us was choice and free will and as a catholic I feel obliged to respect that in my neighbor. Same goes for LGBTQ+ people. Jesus never even mentioned the theme of sexuality or gender identity and always put love in front of the abrahamic law during the entirety of the gospel. What right do I have to judge others? What right do I have to think I’m right and they are wrong? I am cis and heterosexual, I would never abort in any scenario but in no way I can afford to be judged with the same measure I would judge others by telling them I was right and they were wrong for coming out as transgender or gay. I am sinful and ignorant, I’m not God, thus I have no right to judge.
In this very same way I’m not judging you, God has laid a path for us all and I’m sure you are doing a great job walking on yours, carrying your own cross. I’m sure you had a kind of upbringing that brought you here and made you who you are but you remind me a lot of who I used to be and I just felt the need to tell you I changed on the very moment I realized being religious wasn’t enough to be saved.
May God bless you! I will pray for you and I’m sorry if I crossed some boundaries writing this to you (also because as I said I’m ignorant and I might totally be wrong… if you think I am please pray for me so that God might lead me closer and closer to the Truth).
I wish you’ll spend a Merry Christmas!
Hello, Anon, thank you for your polite question. I will answer as best as I can.
As Jesus said,
“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." - John 14: 15.
We can't just say we love God but break His laws He has explicitly stated in the Bible. Loving God is in His terms, not ours.
The thing about morality is that objective. It's not just an opinion, what will be wrong for me will also be wrong for another. It's not a matter of preferring vanilla ice cream over chocolate, if me and another person do it with full knowledge that it's wrong, then we've both committed a mortal sin.
Since you already believe that abortion is homicide, then you must believe it's also homicide when other people do it. Yes, we're called to love and respect our neighbor, but that does not mean we're called to approve of their sinful actions. All of us are still children of God when we commit sin, our actions doesn't negate our dignity. But being children of God doesn't negate the intrinsic evil of the sinful actions that people may decide to take. While there are different circumstances that may have driven a woman to abortion (i.e. poverty or desire to indulge in promiscuous lifestyle without consequences), and we as Christians can never assume that she's beyond forgiveness, we can never just declare that abortion isn't morally wrong or intrinsically sinful. It would not be loving to support someone commit something that would lead them to Hell. For a Christian to truly love someone is to will the other person's good. And that means saying no to what will lead them to Hell and guiding them to what will lead them to Heaven. In other words, we Christians have a duty to forbid promiscuity and promote chastity.
As for homosexuality and transgenderism,
it's important to remember what constitutes as sinful acts and what does not. Neither homosexuality or transgenderism are considered sins because those are not actions, especially since those do not fall under one's agency. What the Catholic Church teaches about people with same-sex attractions is written in the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
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The Bible has been clear is condemning homosexual acts.
“‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable." - Leviticus 18: 22
"Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." - 1 Corinthians 9-10
"for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine." - 1 Timothy 1: 10
As a Catholic, we use the Bible as our guide along with the traditions of the Church in leading holy lives.
If you know any one who has same-sex attractions, I encourage you to share with them couragerc.net. It's a Catholic ministry that helps Christians with same-sex attractions lead chaste and holy lives.
In the case of transgenderism, the Catholic Church does not consider it sinful. The Catholic Church simply affirm the truth,
"God created man in his own image . . . male and female he created them" - Genesis 1: 27
No one is born in the wrong body because God doesn't make mistakes. People are fine just the way they are even though they do not adhere to the world's standards of beauty or socially constructed gender stereotypes. The body and soul are not separates; together they make up one substance.
We humans are integrated beings. That means our souls don’t reside in a round glowing ball in the middle of our chest. Our bodies aren’t something to detest, something that holds our soul for now but isn’t important. We are one being. So just as much as your soul is you, so is your body you. What we do with our bodies matters. You don’t just hurt my nose if you punch my face, you hurt me. If someone uses my body sexually for their own gratification, it’s not just my body that is affected, I am affected – my whole personhood has been hurt by being objectified.
Emphasis are mine. Read the full article here.
Transgenderism, or gender dysmorphia, is a mental health issue. It's in DSM-5. The correct treatment for mental health issues is therapy. We don't give liposuctions to anorexic girls who think they're fat because they're not in fact fat, so we shouldn't cut off perfectly healthy breasts on girls who think they're boys trapped in the wrong body, because they're not in fact boys. Being a girl means having XX chromosomes and being a boy means having XY-chromosomes.
It's true that Jesus has never specifically mentioned homosexuality and transgenderism but Jesus has never explicitly said not beating your spouse either but that doesn't mean He approves of it. When Jesus said, "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5: 28), He was already speaking out against all sins against marriage here.
All of us fall short in following God's standard of morality, but that doesn't negate our intrinsic worth of being made in the image of likeness of God. We're judged by the same measure but we're also loved by the same God who wants us to keep striving to live a holy life even if the road is lonely and full of hardships. We can never judge someone as being unworthy of repentance and Heaven because only God knows that. But God did give us a moral code found in the Bible and expounded by the Catholic Church to tell us how to live a holy life according to His plan.
Anon, if you have anymore questions, please don't hesitate to ask.
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seabirdtxt · 1 year
Text
Hi, I’m Bird. welcome to my sideblog! i hope you have a good time :) thanks for reading! 🩵
Ask box is: On hold
WIP tracker
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Rules & TOS:
- I am using this blog as a place to put my self-indulgent fandom fics. i don't proofread or beta my stuff so if i make typos no i didn't 🫡
- blank blogs please do not +follow! i will assume you are a bot and block/softblock you. You can remain empty/anon as long as you have some profile customization and maybe a post/reblog or two
- you can send asks/requests and i'll tackle 'em asap but please don't expect too much of the social aspect from me, i struggle with socialization like a feral cat
- i write reader fics. this means: gender neutral, no physical description/indicators, no gender-biased nicknames clothes or scenarios, you/yours and they/them pronouns only.
- do not call my Reader she/her, or any fem-aligned nicknames. im dead serious, this is a ‘block on sight’ thing, it kicks up my dysphoria and it's the same reason i won't read fem!reader fics. i won't block for the first time, but if you commented on something or sent an ask/request and I deleted/didn't respond, this is probably why. I'm giving y'all the benefit of the doubt that maybe you didn't check my page first though! but continued behavior will earn a block .
- i’m not holding a taglist atm, you either perceive me or don't. (if i ever write smth longer that warrants a taglist i’ll be sure to mention it!)
- no bigotry or discrimination allowed, please use your good judgement when consuming media, etc. there will be no bitchin in my kitchen!
- no reposting, copying, or heavily referencing! plaigarism is the 8th cardinal sin 😊 yes this includes feeding my writing to AI. don't do it.
- re: above ^ making stuff inspired by/expanding on concepts is totally fine though! i'm inviting everyone to come play in my sandbox :3c if you do, please tag me! i'd love to see and rb from you 🥰 (AI is still 100% off the table though)
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Request Rules:
currently in genshin/sagau fandom so mostly stick to those themes please! (and do let me know if you want canon or other AU settings! otherwise i'll assume sagau)
i won't do crossovers sorry! i'm not too knowledgeable on many other media or fandoms and i'd rather not butcher something im not familiar with!
willing to write both platonic and romantic! (specific character romance with the male characters only, sorry, but platonic is free game!)
i write kinda slow tbh, so please don't send me anything that is time sensitive or has a deadline bc i probably won't make it in time :')
----- ⚘ -----
General Tags:
Writing -> #seabird.txt
Doodles -> #seabird.png
Asks/replies -> #seabird.inbox
Personal -> #seabird.exe
Reblogs -> #seabird.rb
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Masterlist below the cut:
Glitch in Irminsul AU
SAGAU setting, where the Irminsul tree behaves like a GIT repository, and the Creator's arrival accidentally merged old branches into the current data.
Blog Tag - [p1] [p2] [p3] [p4] [p5]
[hc1]
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Bloodletting AU
SAGAU cult au, the Creator descends to Teyvat with no obvious godly powers and is rejected by the acolytes, until it's discovered that their golden blood has strength-enhancing properties.
Blog Tag - [p1] [p2]
[rb1] [rb2]
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Voice of God AU
SAGAU cult au, set pre-isekai. The Shouki no Kami is powered up and connected to Scaramouche, who then experiences a sudden jarring connection to the Creator.
Blog Tag - [p1] [p2] [p3]
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Wish Upon series
Stardust AU, canon setting. Wanderer tries to catch a fallen star to get a blessing from Celestia and obtain a heart. Instead, he gets you.
Blog tag - [p1]
Misc. fics
Not aligned to any specific AU or series!
[200 Follower Event tag]
[Creator!Reader and Cyno's bad jokes] [dollmaker!Reader and the scara gang]
🔞 [18+ tag] 🔞
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lincolndjarin · 7 months
Text
Shibari
main masterlist ✧ kinktober masterlist ✦
kinktober : day six - a poem
prompt : shibari [ 18+ mdni ]
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word count : 0.2k
summary : it's 1 am so this is getting posted since it's technically the sixth lol. anyhow, i'm changing the kinktober schedule so i only post monday-friday, bc i need time to work on other stuff so i'll update the list tomorrow !! this is a poem very loosely about shibari and also just me feeling bad about myself
warnings, etc. : this was originally written with frankie in mind but honestly it's just sort of ambiguous at this point, umm cringe warning i guess lmao, bondage, general themes of self hatred, cum, the word cock is used once, this is bad just don't perceive it i've been sad
a/n : sorry all this is uhhh bad and also just self indulgent, i wanted to try writing a poem because i've never done it before and with all the october prompts i decided to write a few so expect like two more shitty poems this month, apologies in advance.
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I will not ask him to love me. 
I am unclean, unfit,
and dirty. 
If I was clean he already would. 
Instead he will be alone,
beside me. 
I will tell him what 
I need and he will
understand. 
Because he knows that I don’t want to be held. 
I just want to be still. 
So he’ll do this for me. 
He will twist me into knots
only to unravel them later. 
And in return he himself will be unraveled. 
He will bind my chest in stars and moons
and webs. And my breast will jut out
from the pressure. 
He will bind my hands behind me
in a cruel fashion because he
knows if I touch him he will be filthy. 
For if my hands were free I might just take
his face in them and rub small circles into the
apples of his cheeks. 
I know that he would love nothing more than
such a thing because he forgets
I am unclean.
He will force legs in strict and unforgiving ways
lest I try to run and forget
what I am. 
If I am free to walk about I may
track mud into 
his house. 
He will wrap me in intricate and lovely patterns
he will make me almost
easy on the eyes. 
His touch will linger and he will forget
more and more that I am unclean, unfit,
and dirty. 
He wraps me in rope,
and I wrap him
in me. 
Now both 
of us are 
still.
He will grit his teeth and rub his cock
onto my lips, and coat my face
with his own discarded sin. 
And I will look as filthy as I am. 
And he will be 
reminded that 
I
am
unclean.
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a/n : literally if you read this that's crazy cause i wrote it and i don't even like reading it
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im-tempted · 6 months
Note
The Black Parade is a rock opera concept album written by American rock band My Chemical Romance. It follows the story of a young, ex military, terminal cancer patient  as he reckons with his life, death, and the impact his life really had. Many people like to rearrange the song order of the album to tell the story, however I think the order of all of the tracks in Black Parade are where they’re meant to be. MyChem’s other albums tell a cohesive story within their designated track orders and never need to be swapped around so I personally follow that rule as well when it comes to Black Parade.
Of course we start with The End narrating, rather sarcastically, the current situation of our protagonist. The End and Dead! are two tracks in this album that are the definition of DO NOT SEPARATE.
Generally I see The End and Dead! as the big opener,This Is How I Disappear as anger The Sharpest Lives as reckless self indulgence/destruction, Welcome to the Black Parade as a reflection in a moment of clarity almost like a broken promise the patient never wanted to break, I Don’t Love You is the patient speaking to his partner possibly trying to convince them to give up loving him because he's a dead man already.
House of Wolves is the religious guilt/anger of realizing that all the actions he took serving his country and how he lived his life were damning and not saving, while Welcome to the Black Parade is a hopeful look on the afterlife, House of Wolves is a negative. “Heaven” vs “Hell” maybe.
Cancer is pretty self explanatory, patient speaking to his loved ones nearing his end. Mama is A Lot. It’s a confession of sin from the war (this and blood and dead are where the military context comes from as well as the social political climate of when the album was released) it's a confession of sin in the personal life as well. “You should have raised a baby girl I could have been a better son” can take on a few meanings all of which are up for interpretation. Sleep is a sobering realization. It’s devoid of anger or passion or anything, like a quiet defeat.The opening tape recording is of Gerard describing to their therapist the nightmares they had while staying in a haunted house to write this album with his bandmates.
Teenagers I have not enough to say regarding the overall story but a banger. Disenchanted is in the title, it's the final result and reflection of the patient’s life. No matter what he did it was always going to end up this way. Nothing he could have done would have changed it.
 Famous Last Words is an interesting one. Gerard originally wrote it for their brother Mikey, who was taking a short break from the band during the writing process to deal with various mental health going ons at the moment. When he returned and heard the song he asked for it (AND DISENCHANTED!) to be on the album. It fits thematically, and adds a hopeful note to the end of a tragedy.
THESE ARE MY INTERPRETATIONS I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR OWN IF YOU'VE GOT ANY. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING ALBUM
this became so much longer than i thought it would i am so sorry
ok finally have the time to sit down and respond to this idk how long this will get i have thoughts(tm) if theirs one thing I'm always thinking about it's death and SPECIFICALLY terminal illness which as someone who's actually had that will probably wildly influence my reading of the album (I know shock to everyone I've never been to war) as well as my big feelings about medical things in general (this album was made in a lab about me actually)
overarching it's always interesting to see stories where death is not only expected but something actively being waited for I feel like everyone and their mother knows they're going to die to the point it's joked about but I don't think many people actually understand that as someone who had to metaphorically stare down the barrel of a gun from birth it's always interesting to see others express that feeling of not quite apathy that I've always felt but the moment you stop trying to claw your way away from death and when you start just living with it always over you shoulder
anyways back to the actual album
there's something so visceral about giving your body to your country and having it not be able to save you back of sacrificing your safety for you to come back home just to die of something no one can save you from there is no atonement in death of chance you went somewhere and you hurt a lot of people and you come back and don't even have the chance to die of it you die of chance like all the others like people who weren't broken for a cause who didn't shape themselves into a weapon to serve
they say that they don't feel bad for the blood on their hands and should they? for getting sucked into the largest propaganda campaign for trying their best for being in the wrong place at the wrong time a dying man can feel no guilt at some point it's just to late there is no point in feeling bad for what brought you somewhere when you simply don't have time
I think this album is also particularly interesting when the singer is explicitly talking to others (like in mama) 'cuz even though the POV person seems to have come to terms with what they've done it's interesting to one of the hardest parts of dying is trying to explain to anyone else you are because no one will actually believe you I don't have to many thoughts on that right now but I just think that's a part of dying people don't talk about is when you've come to terms with it and no one else has
OVERALL I will be thinking about this album probably for a while and this isn't even close to all of my thoughts but I have so many posts I can make in the future so there's always that This one got a tad away from me I can talk about each song on it's own later if you want but for right now I think all the time about what it's like for someone to come to terms with the fact they are dying and what they had to make themselves to get there (< is so normal about this and hasn't based their whole life around it for almost two decades)
GREAT SONGS
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anon-drabble · 2 years
Text
musical mysme
so because musical theater has always been my one, true love, of course i associate many songs with fandoms.
so these are the lyrics from musicals that just remind me so strongly of the mysme characters. obviously this is all in fun and i do this out of love of all the guys, lol. and some of these are not from muscial theater but musical episodes or movies.
also... i definitely didn't intend for half of these to be from the same musical but it's mostly because i wanted to do saeran/unknown/ray and well the same character works for all three of them lol.
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Zen:
Some over muscled, chauvinistic, self-indulgent, egotistic, stingy, prissy, narcississy jackass in a can! Oh, my god. That's me!
Yoosung:
Game with me, it's the ultimate spice! I promise you, it won't ever be dull. In our world, you're all powerful. I'll buff you, don’t be afraid. It's Tuesday night, let's do this raid!
Jaehee:
I spend my life accounting with figures and such. (Unhappy) To what is my life amounting? It figures, not much. (Unhappy)
Jumin: 
I was alone. I was a frozen lake. But then you melted me awake. See? Now I'm crying, too. 
Seven: 
You are young and beautiful, sweet as the breath of May. Earnestly I speak to you—weigh every word I say: If you want to have a rosy future and be happy as a honey bee, with a husband who will always love you, baby, don’t marry me!
V:
I float in a boat, on a raging black ocean, low in the water with nowhere to go. The tiniest lifeboat, full of people I know. Cold, clammy, and crowded; the people smell desperate. We’ll sink any minute. …Everyone’s pushing, everyone’s fighting. Storms are approaching, there’s nowhere to hide. …I’m hugging my knees and the captain is pointing - well, who made her captain?! Still, the weakest must go…
Ray:
I worship you. I'd trade my life for yours. We’ll make them disappear, we'll plant our garden here.
Unkown:
{MC} I wish your dad was good, I wish grownups understood! I wish we'd met before they convinced you life is war! I wish you'd come with me… 
{Unknown} I wish I had more TNT!
Saeran:
I am damaged. But you’re…different. You’re the one we ought to spare. … Please stand back, now… LIttle further… Don’t know what this thing will do. Hope you miss me. Wish you’d kiss me. Then you’d know I worship you. I’ll trade my life for yours and once I disappear, clean up the mess down here.
Rika:
I'm the prettiest poison you've ever seen
Blame your childhood ... Blame the life you never had. But hurting people? That’s your choice, my friend. (honorable mention, i couldn’t decide between these two)
Vanderwood:
Hey, could you hold my hand? And could you carry me through no man's land? It's fine if you don't agree but I would fight for you if you would fight for me. Let them drive us underground; I don't care how far. You can set my broken bones and I know CPR
So tell me 'bout your sins and shock me with their luridness. Let me be your pupil; let me choke on your cocksuredness. (another honorable mention, i couldn’t not include it lol)
also honorable mentions for jumin and v: songs that don’t have any lyrics that outwardly fit them but just the ~vibes~ of the song always makes me think of them!
jumin: sorry/grateful
v: there won’t be trumpets
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