#tired dad™️

[phantom-of-the-501st]

I remember an article months ago talking about how Grogu was going to get an IG mech suit and my initial thought was "ngl, that sounds kinda stupid"

And I don't think I was wrong

But it's also extremely fucking funny so I am totally down with it

#yes yes yes yes yes yes yes #star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #mando season 3 spoilers #mando spoilers #grogu #din djarin #tired dad™️

[justamesswasnotavailable]

Eddie: I think i'm bi

Buck: which one?

Eddie: what do you mean?

Buck: bisexual? Bilingual? Bipolar?

Chim: i know

Chim: a bitch

#911 #buddie #911 fox #buddie 911 #911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #howard chimney han #eddie is a bitch™️ #hen is in the background laughing #and bobby is in the kitchen; head in his hands: a very tired and exasperated dad #the new season already has a hold on me

[ghosts-n-bones]

Nightmare always struck me as the type of person to always have cold hands. Whether it be from the corruption on his body or the drafty castle, his hands always feel like ice.

And he would most definitely place those cold hands on your bare skin just to make you jump and then give you an obnoxiously smug look afterwards, only to shrug when you ask him why he did it.

Wear long sleeves around him… just a heads up.

#nightmare #nightmare!sans #dreamtale #Undertale #undertale au #nightmare sans x reader #undertale au x reader #he thinks he's funny #tired single dad™️ of three murder skeletons

[thisperfectmonsoon]

hahahaha hahaha haha ha 🥲

#today was BAD #my dad is going for another emergency surgery #and work is kicking my ass #my anxiety is raging and I havent slept well in days #so I’m a vulnerable anxious sad mess when I need to be a badass boss lady #I’m tired besties. I’m tired of all this weight #personal #daddy issues™️

[rotisseries]

hi guys I have to submit a yearbook quote tomorrow (tomorrow as in today because it is past midnight for me but whatever) and I am completely blanking on what to submit so here's a poll you guys pick

#posting this and then going to sleep #pros and cons of each one: #1. pros: funny objectively. never gonna get tired of references to the deaths of ancient grecians. my dad suggested it. cons: common joke #2. pros: my dad said it. and I like it. I hear this all the time which makes it better than picking some generic quote. #cons: I looked this up it was said by some baseball player. people will take it seriously and I'm not the kind of person #who unironically quotes baseball players about how getting close isn't acceptable you need to succeed or whatever #3. pros: funny cause the citation will say pitbull. mr worldwide himself. cons: unironically an Inspirational Quote™️ #may get rejected for references to “getting wasted” also #4. pros: what if the joker could beatbox. suggestion made my brother laugh hysterically. cons: somewhat obscure. nigh incomprehensible #5. pros: potentially this means strangers lyrics in the 2k23 yearbook. cons: potentially this means strangers lyrics in the 2k23 yearbook #alright thank you guys so much for your help also again feel free to suggest better options okay goodnight!!

[lavender-femme]

.

#don’t mind me I’m just having a night™️ #i hate living with my dad more often than not #the only consistent pro is not paying rent #which I only get because every time I ask him what he wants me to pay him he gets all kinds of passive aggressive #I got roped into being his caretaker post knee replacement just because I’m here #and he can’t be bothered to treat me with half as much respect as he does his numerous girlfriends who treat him like shit #I’m so so so tired of doing every fucking thing around here #i haven’t done laundry because I’ve been in too much pain #i haven’t done dishes because I’ve been in too much pain #so of course the sink is overflowing and his laundry just sits downstairs because he ‘doesn’t want to’ #the knee replacement hasn’t even happened yet #and I just know I’m going to end up doin every goddamn thing around this house even more #doesn’t matter that I am in a shit ton of pain and can’t even properly treat it #doesn’t matter that I might be having a difficult time with my mental health #doesn’t fucking matter !! he doesn’t want to do something now so I can end up doing it later #just thinking about how he and my uncle joked about ‘if you do it wrong enough times you stop getting asked to do it’ #about dishes and laundry and shit #and that is so fucking disgusting to laugh about #especially when you literally put everything off so your kid can do it despite you being perfectly capable #and then refusing help when you actually do something #I’m just so fucking annoyed #i am in so much pain and all I asked was for one thing #doesn’t matter that I’m using my limited gas to drive him to and from the hospital tomorrow #or that I’m the one who went out and found him crutches #or that I’m the one who told him to think of some meals for the week since he’ll be recovering and I’ll be cooking them and then he refused #Fuck #I’m just so exhausted #and i I have to wake up super fucking early #i wanna bury my face in a butches chest and never come out #it’s fine I’m fine everything is fine

[pkgamedev]

I love them, your honor

#three goobers and one tired™️ dad #fe cor #silly stuff

[fairymint]

He's been laying face-down on the couch for days, anyways, having decided not to come out until it's impossible for anything to come out of his mouth besides nice things.

#musings. #felix fae. #this one is not crack and was coming anyways- I've been tired and grumpy-ish internally and the muse does not deal with that well #he's got more responsibilities™️(self-perceived) so the bar is way too high in his mind #technically unrelated to the oly shit but the timing was hilarious #something somthing he's trying to settle down and be a dad Soon story wise and gotta be a good example- #yes even in non-ship verses. like. he'll be Lookin as soon as he figures out his employment situation. Dating. trying to find a baby-daddy- #latent shrooms and schooling are bringing it home- #drugs mention

[piratefishmama]

Corroded Coffin front man Eddie Munson and his massive lights and music displays for Halloween and Christmas where the lights flash along with Corroded Coffin music in a huge fantastical display

and Tired Single Dad™️ Steve Harrington glaring at it from his bedroom window because it plays at all hours and while his daughter loves it, Steve kinda wants to strangle his realtor because while getting a house in the 'rich people' neighbourhood was great for good schools, he got stuck living opposite a rockstar.

And he's so very tired.

Might have to go over there and yell at him.

#pre-steddie

[lundenloves]

bro ik simon buys his daughter some silly ass shit on missions😭 like he will buy her a mug ( a mug, FOR A BABY. ) titled: "worlds best daughter and dad duo" .. wont even let the reader hold their kid as long as hes some n shit.. just pls dad!simon hcs PLS

you ask and you shall receive anon. here are the current thoughts swooshing around in my messy brain right now. 🪄

dad!simon masterlist | hc 2

my god definitely tho.

He’s the definition of girldad. To a T. Like, when she’s younger and he’s still new to the whole thing it’s all scary but once he’s past that and realises it’s literally just a tiny person. It’s over for everyone around him.

That little girl is worth crushing skulls for fr.

Waking up in the middle of the night to baby cries was something he took in stride. The first few times definitely scared the shit out of him and he wanted to wake you up. But then again, realising that it was just a tiny person. He would get up and probably fall asleep on the sofa with her instead of taking her back to the cot.

Not that he would admit it but he felt way more relaxed with her sleeping on his chest.

Shirtless.

SKIN. TO. SKIN.

When she gets older, she starts asking questions about him and his job and all the ‘why’ follow ups. We’re talking ages 7-9 here.

“Why wear skull stuff if you’re called Ghost?”

“It’s a callsign.”

“What’s a callsign?”

“A nickname.”

“Why?”

Literally his mini-me though. She follows him everywhere. All around the house, upstairs downstairs, outside inside. EVERYWHERE. He never grows tired of it though. Always entertaining the questions.

“Do you have a name?”

“Yes. I have a name.”

Then telling her it and she goes onto call him Simon for three days straight before moving onto another source of entertainment.

She draws pictures of 141. Penning a little version of herself in the middle of the men, a big arrow pointing to each of them labelled by their names spelt wrong. Sop. Pris.

Soap draws pictures back stfu.

Definitely the type of relationship with his daughter where they’re close until she becomes interested in boys and her dad is suddenly embarrassing lmaoooo.

Johnny is actually the embarrassing uncle.

Her first boyfriend my days.

I know by this point, he has another daughter. No one can convince me otherwise. He has a minimum of two.

“She’s gonna see her boyfriend.” The younger one would sing and Simon is right onto that shit. Dad stance n’ all.

“What age is he?” First question.

“Dad.”

LeaveTheDoorOpen™️

His kids don’t actually know what he works as. It’s like, no one knows exactly what their dad does. SAS shit or smth.

For forms, he just waves a hand of dismissal and is like, “Just say i’m in the army.”

“Are you in the army?”

“No.” this mf

Having two daughters definitely be teaching him a lot. Like periods. He never took them seriously until he was being barked at for the seventeenth time in one day, deciding in that moment to understand.

Also the designated bag holder and credit card user on shopping trips.

Dilf.

this is short but i’m writing a huge smut for him rn don’t tell anyone. you. yes, you.

taglist? click this link to complete the form.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley #ghost x reader #ghost x female reader #ghost x f!reader #ghost mw2 #mw2 fanfic #mw2 x reader #call of duty mwii #cod mwii #cod mw2 x reader #cod mw fanfiction #cod mw2

[glassballdinosaurs]

My mom: I went into your room and was upset by what I saw

Me: I’m sorry

Me inwardly: Don’t go in my room and you won’t get upset

#this fucking bitch #I’m upset I had to take trash out of your room #I’m upset you don’t respect my privacy but I guess we’ll just both be unhappy huh? #personal #you know that stereotype of gays not getting along/having a positive relationship with their dads? #we need that but with moms #I’m so tired™️ of her autism manifesting specifically on me in certain ways #like it’s my room back tf off #go organize your own craft room which is just a different variation of a shot show #*shitshow #ARGHHHHHH #she talks about how she hates when her stuff gets touched then gets upset that she ‘has’ to touch mine #which is a falsehood but aight I guess

[abbysdruidess]

•._.••¯´´•.¸¸.•headcanons about married life with abby [w nsfw]•._.••¯´´•.¸¸.•

wc: 1.1k

tags: tooth rotting fluff, smut, dom!Abby, dom/sub dynamics mentioned

a/n: lmk what you guys think abt this one:)

this is kinda in the same universe along with the abby proposes to you and wedding hcs, so if you haven't you could check them out-though this one could also be read as a standalone<3

ꜱꜰᴡ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

❦ you guys put a lot of work into your little dreamhouse™️ and are extremely proud of it. As an out and about lesbian, Abby took up a woodworking project and built a library that fits right into the wall of your living room. Which you were extremely supporting of, because it gave you the lovely opportunity to ogle your wife in a tank top and work pants, huffing, red faced and wiping sweat from her forehead in your backyard. You set an alarm and every couple of hours you bring her some cool water or lemonade with fruit and brush some locks of hair out of her dewy face<3

❦ she's also one of these people that don't believe in bringing in a handyman to fix any faulty appliance in your household. She has a huge, neon yellow tool box stashed away somewhere(you still aren't sure exactly where) that magically reappears everytime your car won't start or the air-conditioner starts making a noise. And 90% of the time Abby gets the job done, running on pure willpower and spite alone. When she doesn't and you guys have to bring someone else to do it, she just goes "Pfft, I could have totally done that. I just didn't cause I thought I might break it.". "Of course honey", you reassure her with a kiss on the cheek. You don't have her saved in your phone with an image of Bob the Builder for nothing.

❦ you guys are over at her dad's place a lot. When you were looking for a house, you made sure to get a place near his so you could visit whenever. He has a photo of you two from the wedding in his mantlepiece making the goofiest faces imaginable and every single time you visit Abby pesters him to take it down while you shit yourself laughing in the background.

❦ also, when your step-siblings Yara and Lev join, it's absolute chaos. You guys probably end up having an impromptu food fight and flick celery sticks at each other.

❦ if you have any hobbies such as knitting/playing instruments/writing etc she's fullly behind them and will always ask you to show her your progress. She's pretty proud of it as well, and smiles a little excitedly like :D

❦ please sing to her. It doesn't matter if you haven't sang a day in your life and it sounds like tires screeching on asphalt, it calms her when her baby sings to her. Will think you have the voice of a choir of angels no matter what and it is the only thing that can effectively put her to sleep. Bonus points if you play the guitar as well.

❦ Abby is really into reading(probably why she got that library built in the first place) and has one permanently etched in her night stand. She strikes me as one of these people that is a fan of the classics and doesn't read anyone that came after Hemingway. Until for her 26th birthday someone gifts her books from like Stephen King or Alison Bechdel and initially she's hesitant but eventually they grow into her and are stationed into her Hall of Fame shelf.

❦ whenever either of you is sick, you insist to pamper and care for one another. During the winter months Abs has a cold or the flu every month or so, and you have to actually fight her to take the day off and rest.

-Baby, you burning up. If you go to work you'll just get worse.

-I'm *cough* fine. I honestly feels 10 years younger. I don't get what the big deal is.

❦ you two definitely exercise together. Either you always go to the gym together-although you're not there as often as she is. Abby exercises religiously 5 times a week and that exercise will take place with or without you, but she would be damned if she didn't love when you tagged along with her. Either you guys have set up a little home gym with some basic equipment like mats, a treadmill, these bouncy balls and a weight lifting bench. Of course, you spot her, because you will take up any offer to ogle at her putting those big, powerful guns she calls arms to work. She reciprocates by insisting to hold your thighs while you do sit ups. And she inevitably ends up squeezing them like balls of dough.

ɴꜱꜰᴡ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

❦ when you first met Abby in your early 20s, you though it was natural for a woman her age to have such a heightened libido. After all, she did get around a lot for someone that looked like her. And that instict to fuck you senseless never abandons her-Abby is in a constant state of Wanting to Fuck, and is game whenever you are.

❦ Your sexcapades have included(but are not limited to): empty libraries, locker room showers, back alleys of clubs and just about any sturdy furniture in your house.

❦ she is a total beast when it comes to lovemaking, and can go anywhere from 2 hours to all night long, although most sessions end when you tap out bc you know you'll be sore tomorrow.

❦ even though everyone knows you're Mrs and Mrs from the ring on your finger, Abby wants to reassure that, by marking you as hers. Hickies, bites, anything is game. And she loves the slight sting of the scratch marks you leave her when she hops in the shower the morning after. She calls them claw marks affectionately.

❦ Loooves strapping you to positions she can utilise her muscle strength, like flatiron or missionary with her arms propped up. When you're scissoring, she wants to be the one with her legs on top, grinding her pussy into yours like it's nothing.

❦ I think Abby has this very hard dom image, and while she wants to take over during sex and feel like the one in control, she also needs to be taken care of. She works hard from day to night, and her past partners haven't been exactly accommodating to her needs. So whenever she's particularly exhausted, crawl under the covers to give her some head. Or in the shower. Or in the couch. Or under the dining table. She definitely cums fast when you suck her clit, it gets extremely sensitive and swollen while you're in between her legs.

❦ Is an occasional squirter, and also loves to make you squirt. It happened once as you were riding her face, and she just. slurped it all up. You lowkey passed out on the spot as your knees almost gave up.

❦ cuddling with her afterwards. There's still some resounding bliss in the air, as you both treasure the moment, your limbs all tangled up. You leave small kisses all over her sternum as she tightens her grip around you. If you're too exhausted, you fall asleep immediately, if not you just glance at each other through heavy lids with lovestruck eyes. You sleep like a baby and wake up feeling as refreshed as ever.

send me an ask if you guys would like me to elaborate any of these<3

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x y/n #abby anderson x you #abby the last of us #abby tlou #abby x fem!reader #abby anderson x female reader

[superiorsturgeon]

Are You Sure About Her?

Pyrrha: *meeting Arc family for the first time, happily chatting away*

Mama Arc: Jaune, dear, can you come help me with something please?

Jaune: Hm? Sure, mom!

Jaune: *follows his mother to the kitchen* What do you need?

Mama Arc: …

Mama Arc: …Jaune, dear, are you really sure about this girl?

Jaune: …what? Of course I am! Pyrrha’s awesome! Why would you even ask?

Mama Arc: She seems nice, but…well…she’s a celebrity.

Jaune: Uh…yeah? Basically everyone but me already knew her when we started at school.

Mama Arc: *folds her arms* You don’t understand, sweetie. A few years back, a star athlete and a boy at her school hooked up, and because of her celebrity status they kept their relationship secret to protect him.

Mama Arc: Things went on like that until she unexpectedly got pregnant. They kept the child secret too, again, to protect them.

Mama Arc: But as time went on and the press celebrated her return to sports, she spent less and less time visiting that boy and her child. She was always out drinking, competing, and socializing, and eventually, things completely fell apart. That poor boy gave up his dreams for someone who left when she got tired of him.

Mama Arc: …And I don’t want to see that happen to my son!

Jaune: …

Jaune: …mom, I’m sorry you’re worried, but you’re wrong about Pyrrha.

Mama Arc: But how can you be sure? You’re both so young!

Jaune: Well…For one thing, everyone already knows that me and Pyrrha are dating! When she came to Beacon she told me she wanted to make real friends, and now we’ve both got lots of awesome people who know us both. We even go on double dates with our teammates!

Jaune: And…I guess the most important thing is that it’s Pyrrha, and I trust her.

Mama Arc: 🤨

Jaune: *quailing under the “Mom Stare.”* I-I mean it! When I first went to Beacon, nobody believed in me! Even you and dad talked like you expected me to fail and come back home any day and become a farmer!

Jaune: But not Pyrrha!

Jaune: *awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, trying to form the words* She…she came and pulled my sorry butt out of a tree during the initiation, when she could’ve left me behind and done the actual test! A-and then when trained fighters were teaming up all around us, she came and picked ME to be her partner!

Mama Arc: Well, that’s-

Jaune: *interrupting, Defend Partner™️ mode engaged* And after I made it through by the skin of my teeth and started acting like a cringy tough-guy jerk, she stuck by me! And once I realized what an idiot I was being, she offered to train me.

Jaune: Do you understand? Pyrrha Nikos, Mistral’s invincible gladiator, after everything I did wrong and how crappy I acted, believed I could be better! She believed in me when nobody else did!

Jaune: Pyrrha’s an absolute angel, mom. She’s the strongest and smartest person in the whole school! I watched her take on an entire team by herself and win without breaking a sweat!

Jaune: She could’ve done anything she wanted. She still CAN do anything she wants! And she-she believes in ME!

Jaune: And I believe in her! She’s the most caring, kind, and wonderful person I’ve ever met, mom. I know she would NEVER hurt me, and I trust her with my whole heart!

Mama Arc: …

Jaune: *leans against the counter, panting a bit*

Mama Arc: …it sounds like you really love this girl, Jaune.

Jaune: *drained from his passionate speech* I think so, mom. I know it sounds kinda dumb, but everything I do is more awesome when she’s around!

Mama Arc:

Mama Arc: *smiles and ruffles Jaune’s hair* My little boy has sure grown up a lot since he ran off to become a hero.

Jaune: *squirms* I guess, but it’s all because of the friends I made…but mostly Pyrrha!

Mama Arc: *smiles over Jaune’s shoulder*

Jaune: …what? *turns around*

Pyrrha: *standing in the doorway, sniffling and covering her mouth* 🥹

Arc Family: *crowded in behind Pyrrha* 😁

Jaune: …

Jaune: …how long-?

Youngest Arc Sister: Since the first word you big sappy dork!

#this is the closest you’ll ever get to real angsty writing from me #rwby #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #arkos #jaune x pyrrha #jaune arc x pyrrha nikos #mama arc #papa arc #arc sisters

[bookishfae]

andarna being a moody teenager and tairn being a tired girl dad™️ is everything to ive ever wanted

#andarna #tairn #violet sorrengail #iron flame #fourth wing #rebecca yarros

[lucky38s]

STEVE “he's a wife guy, he's a new dad, he's a loose cannon, he's your boss now, he's a fucking hillbilly, he's got the smoothest southern voice ever, he's Tired™️, he doesn't want your fuckin’ daiquiri, he's sitting like a whore, he's got the longest legs a bitch has ever seen” MURPHY (description via @bellamuertes) NARCOS (2015-2017)

#narcos #steve murphy #narcosedit #boyd holbrook #boydholbrookedit #netflixdaily #tvdaily #anyway it's our favorite white boy! #riotgifs #cyanide

[sweetandgentlecreature]

Hiiii since you’ve been killing the headcannon game, if you’re up to it,

Can we please give Walter Marshall a dog? That man needs a dog. I don’t care how busy he is, I’ll even walk it for him. He gives me “dad and the dog he didn’t want” vibes where they get bullied into it then wind up being a total pushover and spoiling the shit out of the dog 🥹 That man is secretly so soft I just fucking know it.

Hey, girl! So sorry for how late this is. It's a slow day for work, so I threw Nomis on in the background and got to it.

ABSOLUTELY! Walter oozes Daddy-Bear Energy™️ and I’m always here for it. Thanks for reaching out, babe! Hope you like it ❤️❤️

In the Dog House: Walter Marshall is a Pushover

Warnings: Bring a lint roller. There's plenty of fluff to go around.

"No. Absolutely not."

He'd cross his arms over his chest and scowl. Life was hard enough, between juggling her schedule and his own, the sleepless nights and open cases that pile up on his desk, he didn't need any more distractions. Faye pouted, bat those big brown eyes up at him and stuck out her bottom lip. What started out as a normal Saturday morning grocery run had taken a detour when she saw the wet little noses in the window of the animal shelter downtown. They'd only stopped to look.

"Come on, dad, please?! Look at him!"

The little ball of fluff gnawed at her fingers and looked up excitedly, cocking his head to the side as if to say "Yeah, dad! Bring me home!"

Who was Walter to say no to that?

His apartment quickly shifted from its cold, sad status of bachelor pad to...well, still a bachelor pad, just covered in puppy pads as well. Though the little bugger had been neutered, he wasn't potty trained just yet. Faye was getting good at taking the dog out before school, and spent most evenings playing with him until bedtime. When she was at her mother's house, Walter would care of him. He felt ridiculous, standing out in the cold, holding the leash while the pup sniffed around for somewhere to do his business.

"Come on, lad," he'd encourage gruffly. "Anywhere will do."

Back inside, they'd stare at one another. Walter, sat on the couch, would pick through his leftovers while the puppy, lovingly named Moose, sat on the floor, tearing his squeaky toy to shreds. Moose with yip and growl at it, a real predator, and shake out the stuffing to rain down around him in a cloud of fluff. Walter would sigh, crook an eyebrow at the beast, and shake his head in disapproval.

"No dogs on the bed," he'd declare. He wasn't concerned about fleas or ticks (the little menace loves a good soak in the tub), he didn't think Moose would have any accidents in the night; he just didn't want the connection. Walter wasn't good at making friends, dating was a joke at this point. Faye was really all he had...Faye, and Moose.

It was late when he made it home that night. Bleary eyed, he'd toed off his boots at the door, disassembled his weapon and stashed his badge on the table beside the entryway. The house was quiet, a little too quiet, and it made him suspicious. He checked around the living room, the kitchen, and hell, even the bathroom. Nothing was out of place.

In the bedroom, he found the culprit, snug as a bug all curled up in the middle of the bed.

"No," he growled. "Down."

Sleepily, the dog lifted his head at the sound of his owner's voice. Bright blue eyes grew wide and limp, floppy ears with plenty of room to grow flopped to one side of Moose's head. The black duvet cover, once pristine, was now covered in a thin film of white and gray fur.

Walter sighed. He was too tired for this shit. It wasn't worth the fight. He didn't even bother to undress. No use in getting too comfortable, when he'd be up in a couple of hours anyway. Pulling the blankets aside, he settled in against the pillows and let the heavy shrouds of sleep overtake him. His eyes fluttered closed and his breath began to deepen. Walter never dreamed, hadn't in years, yet just as he began to doze off, he could've sworn he felt something. Warm and fuzzy, Moose nuzzled up against Walter's leg and sighed contently. For a moment, in the quietness of an empty house, Walter smiled. It was starting to feel just a little more like home.

#sweetandgentlecreature's requests #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill one shot #henry cavill fluff #walter marshall fanfic #walter marshall #walter marshall fluff #walter marshall one shot #walter marshall x reader