#today was a rocky day. I have not had the uncomfortable conversation with my boss yet and I am high-key dreading it

[yourfavewriteress]

rocky road | jonathan toews

Teaser: “We gotta figure this out because I don’t want to keep fighting you every single day.”

Jonathan and I were currently in the middle of a rough patch. The Blackhawks weren’t doing as well as expected this late in the season. The transition from winter to spring was having its effects on my mood and migraines. Work is killing me everyday to the point where I hardly do anything once I get home except shower and get in bed. To top it all off, Jon and I have barely talked in almost two weeks, aside from the frequent bickering.

We have never been the couple that fights excessively. Jon isn’t the type to go back and forth over something small and petty. He doesn’t like to argue, he likes to talk. Whenever we crossed the line from having a conversation to bickering, Jon always suggested a pause to refocus the conversation and come to an agreement. Yet, lately our fights have been getting less conversational, and more unproductive. 

The one thing that attracted me to Jon the most when we first met was how quiet and driven he was. He was a man in all aspects of the word and I loved that. While I dealt with the stresses of my job, Jon knew that I couldn’t be the trophy wife that many guys in the NHL desired. Although his job is a priority for him, my own job is a priority for me. I never felt like I was taking care of him, or him taking care of me. We were partners who have mastered scheduling their lives around each other, and the condo we had moved into seven months ago. 

When I brought up our current relationship situation with my friends, they assured me that we were simply going through a phase “and, yes, even perfect couples like you guys have them.” I wasn’t unhappy with Jon at the moment, but we have definitely been better. 

As I prepared myself for another day at work, I made my morning coffee and checked over the day’s schedule. While I would be gone until around 7 today, Jon had a busy day until 9:30. My coffee was barely finished before Jon appeared, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Hey,” He mumbled, walking towards the refrigerator.

“Morning,” I responded. As I waited, all that could be heard in the kitchen was the coffeemaker and Jon’s movements. I poured my finished drink just as he spoke again.

“Did you turn the thermostat down last night?”

“Is it too cold for you?” I watched as he looked over at me.

“I’m kind of used to it at this point,” He responded.

“I did turn it down before I got in bed, why are you asking?”

“Can we compromise and keep it above 60?” 

“You live here, too, so if that’s what you want,” I shrugged.

“You really don’t have to be like that,” He sighed. “I’m just asking.”

“I’m not being like anything, Jon. Maybe you’re reading into things a little too hard.”

“You hog the blankets, which I don’t mind because I know you don’t do it on purpose. But it felt like the North Pole last night and I don’t want to get sick.”

“Oh, trust me, I know. We cannot let the star captain get sick when he has hockey to play,” I mumbled.

“Y/N,” He ran his hands over his face. “We gotta figure this out because I don’t want to keep fighting you every single day.” I didn’t say anything and Jon closed the fridge and looked at me. “You have to realize we can’t even talk to each other without arguing, right?”

“Mhm.”

“And, you don’t see that as a problem?”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “Are you seriously asking me that? I asked you a week ago to talk yet here we are.”

“I had a game that day,” He defended. “I had to focus on that.”

“I’m happy that you so boldly point out that hockey comes before me, especially when we’re both going through a tough time. But, what about the next day? I’m pretty sure you had two days off and we still haven’t talked.”

He looked down at the counter, “Hockey doesn’t come before you, you know that.”

“Say that to me when it’s actually true. Other than that, don’t lie to my face,” I grabbed my cup, moving towards the hallway. “I have to get ready for work.”

I walked back to our bedroom, going straight to the bathroom and closing the door behind me. I turned the shower on, beginning to get undressed. I sipped my coffee slowly as I let the water heat up.

As mature as I was, I knew I had my moments where biting my tongue would have been the better option. I would absolutely be respecting Jon’s wishes about the temperature of our room, because it was our shared space. But, he didn’t have to know that yet. Especially when I have already told him he could change the thermostat whenever he was uncomfortable.

I showered and brushed my teeth quickly, wrapping my towel tightly around my body. I exited the bathroom to see Jon buttoning his shirt. He looked up when I entered the room.

I moved to my walk-in, grabbing my clothes for the day. Rushing myself to get dressed, I stumbled around the closet for a few minutes. When I walked out, Jon was fully dressed, reaching into his bag.

“I’m not gonna be back tonight til after 8,” He said.

“I know,” I responded, brushing through my hair.

“Make sure you actually eat today,” He said, followed by the zipping of his bag. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.” I did my best not to frown as Jon walked out of our bedroom. 

In the past two weeks, I could count on one hand the amount of affection that we’ve shown each other. We used to kiss or be touching each other in someway at all times. But now, the only time Jon was within three feet of me was when we were in bed. I guess that’s a plus, that we still sleep next to each other. I would be lying if I didn’t notice the deliberate space between us under the covers, though.

As the front door closed behind Jon, I continued getting ready for work. Until I had to stop. 

Washing my coffee cup in the sink, I felt the familiar sensation in my eye and head, signaling the migraine to come. I groaned to myself, pausing to down a full glass of water. 

At the on-site of migraines, I always had a decision to make. I could either one, power through it and continue on with my day or two, call it and get back in bed. The frequency of my migraines increased with stress so I wasn’t surprised as my left temple began to pulse. Looking at the time, I had over an hour before I had to be at my desk and thirty minutes to leave our condo. Already feeling nauseous, I decided that today would be the day that I called it. I would have all day to recover, with Jon being gone, and I could get a much needed break from work and the world. 

After calling my boss and explaining the situation to her, she agreed before I even finished. Annoyed at the fact that I was already dressed and basically ready to go, I changed back into sleep clothes. I didn’t realize until I walked past the mirror that my sleep clothes consisted of one of Jon’s shirts and a pair of his boxers as shorts. 

Forcing myself to eat, I made a small breakfast of eggs and toast before climbing back under the covers in our dark room. In the past, I made sure to tell Jon when I was experiencing a migraine so that he knew. I wasn’t sure if it was anger towards him or my sleepiness but as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out. No message to Jon. 

I spent the day in bed, slipping in and out of consciousness. Other than to use the bathroom, I stayed under the comforters as the sun set that afternoon.

I assume I slept through the entire day as I awoke to movement in Jon’s closet and the light on. I blinked a few times, trying to adjust my eyes after them being closed for basically over 12 hours. Jon walked out his closet and I watched as he looked around the room, his eyes landing on me.

“Hey,” He said, noticing that I was now awake. He moved closer to my side of the bed, crouched down so we were at eye-level. If my head hadn’t of been hurting, I would have noticed how close he was for the first time in awhile. He searched my face, “Are you okay?”

“I have a migraine,” I mumbled. 

“Did you eat?”

“A little,” I responded.

“You know you have to eat more than a little,” He said, standing up. “I’m gonna change and then I’ll make you something.”

“You don’t have to,” I sighed. “I’m sure you’d probably prefer to not be around me right now.”

“Not responding to that,” He called from his closet. “I always want to be around you, no matter what’s going on.”

I turned over in bed, pulling the covers back over me. “That sounded like a response, Jonny boy.”

The nickname slipped out before I could even think about it and when I looked back at him in his closet, he was smiling softly. I looked away just as I felt a smile creep onto my lips. It was the first time in a few days that our expressions towards each other were anything but annoyance or indifference.

“Can you see okay?” He asked after a few moments.

“Yeah, the aura went away a couple hours ago.”

“And, your head?”

“Pounding,” I said, simply. I heard Jon sigh before I felt his hand on my leg.

“Do you want to come downstairs to the couch?”

I nodded, moving to sit up. “How was practice?”

“Fine,” He shrugged. “Can we talk later though? I’ve been thinking a lot today.”

“I was being a bitch earlier, I’m sorry,” I admitted. “It was a simple request.”

“I’ve been an asshole for two weeks,” He responded. “This morning was nothing compared to that.”

He moved so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Hockey is tough right now, I get that. We’ve been through this before, Jon. Work is kicking my ass, too, and it’s overwhelming,” I said. “I don’t know why we’re clashing so much but we know how to communicate. I know how to talk to you and you know how to talk to me, but…”

“...But, we're still fighting,” He finished, nodding.

“I know I can be a lot, and you have to worry about not only me but your team, too. I can’t imagine how much stress you’re under right now but you have to let me know what you need or want from me. I can’t just keep walking on eggshells while I’m stressed myself. It’s not fair.”

“I know,” He sighed. “I didn’t realize how much I was pushing you away. I don’t ever want you to be walking on eggshells around me. You live here just as much as I do and I’m sorry for everything. I know I can forget to stop bringing hockey home with me every night and I’ve clearly been doing that. I’m not gonna make excuses for it because we already talked about this. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care if you bring hockey home. Obviously, I would like it if I didn’t have to sit through hours of guys slamming into each other on the ice, but I would do it if it’ll be helpful for you. I don’t mind watching hours of hockey. I know it’s a priority for you right now, and I don’t expect that to change. But, we’re a team. I want to help so you’re not beating yourself up every single day.”

He smiled, “I know.”

“It’s not just you, I know I can be better, too. When I’m stressed, I know I can be a handful and a half and you’re an angel for dealing with it. I’m not easy to talk to and you still take care of me. I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve the world,” He said. “But, I don’t care how much of a handful you think you are, I love you and that’s not gonna change.”

“I’m just sorry,” I mumbled, looking down.

Jon moved closer, pulling me into his chest. “I think you’re just being nice because your head hurts. I’m equally at fault for this, if not, more.”

I laughed against his chest, immediately regretting it as I was reminded of my migraine.

“I mean it,” I said once he pulled away.

“Okay, so we’re both sorry, and we’re both gonna do better, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” He kissed me and I sighed against him.

“I missed you,” I said. “Even though we’ve both been here.”

“I missed you,” He smiled, pecking my lips again. “But, your head still hurts so dinner first.”

He helped me out of the bed, wrapping his hand around mine as we walked downstairs. 

“I’ll get you some water and bring it over,” Jon said as I sat down on our couch, leaning against the arm. I watched as he dimmed the lights in our apartment, looking over at me to hold up his thumbs in question. “Is this good for you?”

“Yeah,” I laughed softly. “Did you know the lights did that before you showed me this place?”

He nodded, smiling. “Thoughtful, eh?”

“I guess you could say that,” I shrugged. He walked over to me, handing me a glass of water.

“You don’t think I’m thoughtful?” He raised his eyebrows in question.

“I think you’re a sap when you want to be,” I laughed, making my head throb. I flinched, leaning back slightly.

Jon leaned in, pressing his lips to my temple. “Stop laughing at me, you’re making your head worse.”

I puckered my lips to him in response. He smiled, shaking his head while standing up straight. “You’re trying to distract me. I have to get you something to eat and then I’ll kiss you.”

“That’s unfair,” I whined.

“Once you eat, I promise you’ll have my full attention, baby,” He laughed. “So needy.”

“Hurry up, Jonathan. We have a lot of making up to do.”

#jonathan toews #nhl #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl fanfic #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #jonathan toews imagine #jonathan toews imagines #jonathan toews blurb #jonathan toews fluff #jonathan toews fanfic #jonathan toews fic #nhl fluff #nhl blurb #nhl blurbs #chicago blackhawks #chicago blackhawks imagine #chicago blackhawks imagines #yourfavewriteress #nhl writing #hockey #Hockey Fanfiction #hockey fanfic #hockeyedit #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #patrick kane #duncan keith

[pocminiseries]

Lonely|3

The Meeting.

♣️

May 23, 2015. "Whatever you're thinking Mora, stop it," Natalie warned lowly, taking a sip of her wine. The raven-haired beauty sat quietly for 5 minutes observing her foreign friend sneak glances at the last person she should want any association with.

Samora focused her gaze on Natalie. "What are you talking about?" She questioned, her pretty face scrunching up in confusion.

"Your attention has been on that man ever since he first walked in and I'm telling you now to stay away from him." Natalie left no room for debate because she knew that he was bad news.

"Relax, I was only looking," She defended but Nat wasn't easily fooled.

She knew that look Samora was giving him. It was a look that so many girls before her had given him once before, even herself at one point in time. Since Mora was new to South Korea her knowledge of local gangs and violence was limited, so she knew little to nothing about what really goes on, especially here in Seoul. In a way, Natalie was hoping to never bring up the topic at all, considering it was once apart of a world that she was involved in a few years back.

"Right. Even if you were, just leave it at that ok?" The last thing she wanted was for someone as sweet as her to get entangled with a criminal like him. They always loved her type anyway. Easier to corrupt and manipulate.

Samora was a bit surprised by the tone of Natalie's voice. She wasn't kidding when she said that she was simply looking. She found the man to be ridiculously attractive to her, so in a way, she couldn't help but stare at him as he sat at a table not too far away from theirs with a group of men.

Her eyes seemed to follow his every movement, slowly becoming intrigued by him. "Who is he then?" She could tell that he had some type of wealth from the way he and the others around him dressed. Their all-black suits were an interesting pick, she thought to herself. Even their faces were perfect, not one flaw in sight or at least from where she sat she couldn't see anyone.

Sighing loudly, Natalie quickly downed the rest of her wine as Samora watched her amusingly. "His name is Bang Yongguk. He's the leader of a gang known as the Twin Dragons. They operate heavily here in Seoul and other local areas and cities." She explained, glancing at the group as they talked quietly amongst themselves, ignoring all of the lingering looks everyone was giving them.

They were used to them by now.

Samora nodded, taking notice of the soft look that crossed Nat's face. "You two had a thing huh?"

"With him, no, but I did with his twin brother." She revealed, giving her a small smile. "It's the reason why I hate seeing him around. It reminds me of a past I try so hard to forget even existed." She hated that they were identical, yet they had certain features that told them apart at times. Her heartstrings tugged every time he came to mind.

Bang Yongnam, it would be a name that she would sadly never be able to erase from her memories.

"I lost myself when I got involved with them. Did things I knew better of, all for the sake of love." She chuckled bitterly, wishing she had more wine to help her ease her sudden anger. "That's why I'm warning you now Samora, look but please don't touch. Yongguk is just like his brother, they take whatever they want with no regard for that person's feelings. Do your best to stay away from him and his goons."

Although hearing Natalie's words, Samora doubted that he would even give her the time of day, to begin with. Besides, she felt as though her friend should've known her better considering she knew where she was from and how she grew up. She was around men similar to Yongguk growing up, so she knew exactly how bad things could turn out from seeing it play it out with her own two eyes.

Plus she wasn't easily persuaded by sweet talk anyways.

"I will. You have my word." She reassured her.

Going to open her mouth to speak, Natalie's phone began to vibrate on the table, cutting off what she wanted to say. Quickly unlocking the phone, her eyes read over the text message from her boss asking her to come in to help the team finalize on a big deal they had been working on. She looked up to see Samora cutting into her steak that she only received a few moments ago.

"My boss needs me back at work..." She trailed off, hating to have to cut off their lunch date so shortly.

"It's alright, I'll be fine. You go handle your business." Samora said reassuringly, waving Natalie off casually.

"But how will you get back home? I drove us here."

Samora shot her a look. "Nat please, I'm sure my grown-ass can find a ride. I'll just get a taxi or take the subway back." She answered, playfully rolling her eyes at her friend's typical worry ways.

"Fine but text me when you make it home." She ordered, reaching into her wallet to pay for everything. It was the least she could do.

"No, I got this. You head back to work." Samora told her, holding her hand to stop Nat who hesitated but nodded in agreement, placing her wallet back inside her purse. The average height woman gathered her things causing a few heads to turn in her direction which she of course ignored. Her beauty was something that did not go unnoticed no matter where she went.

Bidding her friend goodbye, Natalie waltzed out, hoping that Samora would keep her word. It was the main reason why she didn't want to leave her alone. Not because she didn't trust her but she just didn't trust Yongguk, who she saw looking Samora's way whenever she wasn't paying attention.

Now left alone, Samora ate her food silently, enjoying the view of the city. Her thoughts wandered back to what Natalie told her about her past, her warning words didn't fall on death's ear. Matter of fact she doubted that after today, the chances of her crossing paths with Yongguk were slim. That, of course, didn't stop her from peeking at him a few more times before she was finished with her meal though.

Shaking her head, she thanked her waiter and paid for everything, making sure to leave a nice tip. The feeling of eyes on her as she walked through the restaurant and out the doors, she fought the urge to look back. She had been here long enough to get used to the stares yet it still made her a bit uncomfortable like she needed to be on point at all times just in case.

With her skin tone alone she stood out and her tattoos made it no better.

Stepping out into the busy walkway, she pulled out her phone to hail a taxi and waited patiently for it show up. The satin floral maxi dress she wore was just right for the warm weather, and Bang Yongguk appreciated seeing her in it.

The woman grabbed his attention only moments after he sat down. He was only here for business, so his focus was purely on the task at hand but soon he became distracted by the exotic beauty who sat at a table with a very familiar face. A face that he hadn't seen in a while. His curiosity peaked even more, wondering how the two women knew each other.

He had seen his share of foreigners in his country but she....she was far more different than the rest. While he listened to the conversation at his table, he looked her over from head to toe, taking in all of her. He noticed with her hair being pulled up into a bun, it made her pretty face stand out even more. His eyes lingered on her glossed lips longer than it should but he couldn't help it.

The ink on her skin surprised him because not too many here showed them off like she did, especially women but it added to the respect he already gained for her. Her staring at him when he wasn't looking didn't go unnoticed but he didn't have time to explore her more than this.

His plate was already so full and his relationship with women was rocky enough. Zhara was already too much on her own right now.

"We'll have everything ready by the docks at 11. If everything goes as planned, you'll own the shipments that come through the Han River." Park nodded, sliding Yongguk a black folder. He needed this to go by smoothly if he wanted to be apart of the crew. The man could no longer handle working with Vega, someone who didn't give a shit what happened to those that moved under him.

Yongguk's gaze pierced into the man's eyes, searching for any signs of lies. Park fidgeted a bit but held his ground firmly. He meant business. Nodding his head, he took that as a cue that this meeting was over. Bowing to the men at the table he made his exit with the rest not far behind him.

"You think he'll hold up his end of the deal?" Himchan asked, watching Park get into a car and pull off into the busy highway.

"If not, Youngjae and the others will be on standby." Yongguk stated, spotting the same woman from inside the restaurant standing near the road. "I'll be back." He threw over his shoulder, making his way towards her, throwing all caution to the wind.

Tucking his hands into his pockets, he silently stood beside the woman, waiting patiently until she noticed him. A whiff of her sweet perfume filled his nose as a light breeze blew past them. Samora could feel someone next to her suddenly and looked over to see him. Yongguk looked down at her with an unreadable expression, a bit intimidated at how so much more beautiful she looked up close.

His hand itched to touch her skin.

The two stood there staring at the other, forgetting the world around them momentarily. Neither knowing that this encountering was going to change their lives forever.

#khiphop #ambw #ambwkpop #bang yongguk #bangyongguk #bangyonggukfanfic #pocminiseries #pockpop #poc kpop #kpop #kpopfanfic #bapfanfic #yongguk smut #gangstaseries #kpop smut #kpopsmut #maturethemes #lonely #yamazakiyoungguk

[screamingatanemptyroom]

I Can’t Eat Love pt 9

Part 9 is here guys! I’ll do a master post after part ten so I only have to post a single link and you guys can find the chapters all in one place! 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 linked here. 

Hope you guys enjoy!

_____________________________

When I arrived at the next lesson with Jim in the Royal Treasury, he held up his hands in apology. “I know, I know, I’m sorry! I really couldn’t get away!”

I sat down in front of him, placing my finished books in front of him with unnecessary force and glaring silently.

“I sent you Nate, didn’t I?” He clasped his hands in front of him, getting on his knees and pretending to beg “Oh great future queen spare me!”  

I couldn’t help it. I laughed at that. “Fine. You are forgiven.”

“Whew!” He mimed wiping a nervous sweat from his forehead and got back to his desk. “Did you really fire every single corrupt official in the duchy?”

“First of all, I didn’t ‘fire’ anyone. They excepted an ‘early retirement’ as a reward for their hard work.” I shook my head as Jim rolled with laughter. “And no, I didn’t get rid of all of them, just the four with the most power.  Without their support, and newer, more honest management in place, the whole corrupt system will collapse on itself.”

“And hopefully not take the Duchy down with it?”

I shrugged. “Never said my work was over. All I’ve done so far was the easy part.” Looking around the room, trying to appear casual, I asked. “Is Nate not coming today?” 

Jim smiled. “Ah, she notices at last. Actually, that’s on purpose. I gave him a later time to show up.” Leaning forward, he looked surprisingly serious. “Tommy told me about the argument you two had after he saved you from getting punched in the face.”

“Hallers…” I sighed, unsurprised. 

“He worries about you to much, which is shocking really.” He chuckled. “I didn’t think Tommy knew how to care about anything besides perfection at work. He really isn’t one to make friends.”

I felt a worrying pain in my chest at those words. “We’re not friends. I provide an constantly improving and complex work environment. He supports that. That’s all. There’s nothing personal about it.”

Jim sighed. “Sure, just keep telling yourself that, kid.” 

Running a hand through his hair, he continued. “I know you had your plans, and they involved you putting yourself at risk… but I’m not going to lecture you about that.”

“Really?”

“You DO have an impossible task, and honestly there are going to be risks in any path you take if you genuinely want to save your home. I don’t know the best way to accomplish that, or if it even CAN be done. So how can I tell you not to go all out?”

I felt relieved, “Thank you.”

“That’s not what I wanted to talk about with you about.” He hesitated once more. “Nate… he cares deeply about the people around him. And he’s lost so much already… too much for someone who is the same age as you.”

I frowned. “So I should feel sorry for him? Let him boss me around?”

“You know that’s not what I’m saying.” He rolled his eyes. “Just know that you’re not the only messed up person out there, and try to understand. The world is a lot more complicated then you think. You putting yourself in danger may seem reasonable and simple to you, but to him… it reminds him of regrets and things he wishes he could forget.”

“…” I knew better than anyone the secrets people held. I shouldn’t be surprised that Nate carried some of his own. “I’ll think about it.”

“Thanks.” Jim looked relieved. “He’s a good kid, a little too quiet sometimes, but I don’t want you two falling out over something silly.”

“What’s silly?” Walking through the door, Nate entered, smiling.

Jim waved a hand. “Nothing. Let’s get started with the lesson.”

_____________________________

We began our discussion in earnest. I kept an eye on Nate, but he didn’t seem to give any indication that he was still upset after our last encounter. He met my gaze back openly, smiling with a wry expression while pushing me to defend my own viewpoints on tax rates.

It was a lively discussion, and as usual, Jim handed us both a hefty reading assignment after the end of it.

“I think you get some sort of sick enjoyment out of making us suffer.” I groaned, mentally trying to figure out how to schedule enough time free to manage the workload.

 “Don’t be ridiculous.” Jim laughed mischievously “I simply enjoy the chance to enrich young minds.”

Neither Nate or I looked convinced.

“Sure.”

 “Right.”

He laughed again. “Making you suffer is really just a side benefit.”

Shaking my head, I started to leave, only to be stopped by Nate.

“Do you have a moment to talk before you go?”

I thought it over briefly. He seemed sincere, and not as if he wanted to start another argument. “I can spare a few minutes.” 

We left together, an awkward silence hanging in the air between us.

_____________________________

 “I just wanted to apologize.” Nate started off right away, startling me. “ I only have a vague idea of your circumstances, and tried to judge you for not doing things the way I might have done them.” He headed over to one of the palace gardens, sitting on a bench. “You are honestly trying to protect your people, and I truly respect that.” 

I didn’t sit, standing in front of him, considering his words. “I forgive you.” After a brief hesitation, I added. “I apologize as well for involving you in a situation that made you uncomfortable, before you understood what you were getting into. I should have taken the time to explain what my plan was before starting the meeting, and gave you a choice as to whether or not you still wanted to be a part of it.”

Nate nodded. “If it makes you feel better, I probably would have still stayed and helped… but I would have still stopped the attack.”

“Yeah, I expect you would have.” I chuckled.  Relaxing slightly with the air cleared, I sat down on the bench next to him, although I left plenty of space between us.

 “… You remind me of my brother, you know.” He was smiling, but the expression was somehow deeply, incredibly sad.

“Your brother?” 

“George.  He was only older than me by a couple of years, but we were nothing alike.” He chuckled. “He was so passionate about everything. Our country, our people, how to make everyone’s lives better; He would find a project that would help someone and then he’d be off, not stopping for anything or anyone until he had finished it. He just cared… so much.”

The comparison made me slightly uncomfortable. “I don’t care about others.” Everything I had done was done with the singular purpose of saving myself. Even improving the duchy was just to prevent us from losing our home for when Ronan finally broke off the engagement.

Nate raised an eyebrow. “Really? Then why was your first concern when you talked about going a more official route to stopping corruption in the duchy about the families who would starve? And it mattered to you so much you were willing to put yourself in harms way? Is that really how someone who doesn’t care acts?”

“…” I shook my head silently. I couldn’t see myself as anyone’s savior.

“Anyways, I think that’s why I reacted so strongly that day.” He was trying to force a smile, but it crumbled as he continued talking. “George always said that the Cause he was working for justified the risks he was taking. He was my older brother… I believed him.”

He trailed off, staring off into the distance, and I couldn’t help but ask: “What happened?”

“ He died. “ Nate whispered the words, his eyes filled with pain. “And I couldn’t save him.”

Clearing his throat uncomfortably, he stood up, forcing a slightly crooked smile. “Sorry, maybe one day we’ll talk more about that… but I don’t think I can today.”

I followed his lead, standing up and pretending not to notice as he discretely wiped a few tears from his eyes.  “Well, I better go home…”

“Just one last thing!” Nate took a deep breath, seeming to steady himself. “Even with our disagreements on silly things like tax rates and extortion and blackmail as a governing technique,  I really would like to put that behind us and help each other out in the future.” He stuck out his hand. “How about it? Can we be friends?” 

I started to reach out to shake his hand, but hesitated.

_____________________________

I was being led out of the ballroom, someone’s arm was around my shoulder. My father? He was muttering about how terrible this all was, but I couldn’t understand him. My mind was filled with shock over Ronan’s betrayal.

How could he break things off the engagement now?  Who was the woman he truly loved?

I had always thought he loved me, and now felt very foolish for the assumption.

Just before we went through the exit however, my tear clouded eyes caught sight of someone familiar… and in that moment I felt the my entire body freeze with shock.

Edith, standing next to Prince Ronan, her hand on his arm.

“Isn’t that Edith, your friend?” I heard my father ask.

“Yes.” the words I spoke were barely audible over the ringing in my ears as the world closed in around me and I faded into darkness. “She’s my friend.”

_____________________________

I pulled back my hand.

“No. Not friends. Not again. “ I muttered, more to myself than Nate. “How about ‘pleasant acquaintances’ instead?”

He paused at that, his hand lowering for a moment. At first he seemed taken aback, even wounded by my words. But as he studied me, the hurt in his eyes slowly faded away and he started to nod his head. A type of understanding sadness took its place in his expression and he stuck out his hand once more, smiling.

“If that’s what you need. Pleasant acquaintances it is.”

_____________________________

As he walked me back to the carriage, our conversation turned to less rocky subjects.

“Have you contacted the weaver in Tilendra?” He asked, matching his much longer gait to my own as we walked.

“Yes!” I grinned at him. “Thanks to you I just have one last step before I can move on to the second phase of my plan.”

He looked worried at that. “I saw the first phase of your plan. It was terrifying. I shudder to think what the second phase will be.” 

“Nothing so dramatic.” I waved a hand. “Just ensuring that I become completely financially independent. “ 

“Just that, huh?” He laughed. “Why do I feel that you might take on the whole world next, and probably own it by the time you’re through?”

“Not the whole world.” I shrugged. “Just most of it.”

We arrived at my carriage. Nate waved my footman aside, reaching out to open the door for me himself.  

“I’m not sure whether to be excited for you, or scared for everyone else.”

I stepped inside, smiling at him through the window of the carriage as he closed the door behind me.

“Why not both?”

_____________________________

I sat at my desk several days later, waiting for a meeting with nervous anticipation.

What if she’s completely different then what I remember? I mean, Rig was the same but I doubt even a different lifetime could change that man! What if this doesn’t work?! What if Hallers can’t find her?

…

That last thought made me chuckle to myself. No, Hallers would never be so unprofessional as to not complete a task, even an impossible one. I wouldn’t put it past him if she didn’t exist in this lifetime to simply pull her out of another, just so the job would be done properly.

With a quiet knock, Hallers entered, introducing the woman who followed him with just the slightest hint of a satisfied smile. “Mrs. Maline has arrived.”

I nodded approval, and as she walked though the door, I grabbed the armrests of my chair tightly to hold myself back from jumping up to greet her.

She looked the same as when I met her.

_____________________________

I stood nervously in front of the older woman, my hands clenched tightly in front of me.  She seemed a gentle person, with grey hair and few wrinkles that were outshined by her kind eyes and smile, but it did little to put me at ease.

This was the last interview I had gotten, my last hope. I had learned from past experiences to keep my head down, speak only when spoke to, and NEVER mention my past as a nobleman’s daughter.

“You’re the duke’s daughter, huh?” She asked, startling me.

“How did you…” I trailed off, terrified of the implications. Would she kick me out? I needed this job desperately.

“I once made a dress for you when you were seventeen.” She nodded with a smile. “I remember, you designed the thing yourself, very impressive.”

“…” I didn’t answer, barely able to breathe as nervousness overcame me.

“Can you sew?”

“Yes, but it was mostly embroidery work.” I answered honestly. “But I’m willing to work as hard as it takes to do this job perfectly.”

She smiled at that. “I think you will. Even back then I thought you were a dedicated person. I’m willing to give you a chance.”

“…”

“So stop standing there as if you’ve seen a ghost and grab a needle. “She laughed at my shocked expression. “We have work to do.”

_____________________________

 I gently stood up, shaking her hand politely before motioning her to sit. “Mrs. Maline, I’m so glad to meet you, please, make yourself comfortable.”

She stared at me curiously as she sat, curiosity in her eyes, without a shred of recognition. I felt a stab of disappointment, and chided myself silently.

Don’t be silly, it’s not like she’s forgotten you! She just hasn’t met you yet in this lifetime!

“I assume you are wondering why I asked you here.” I started things off generally, trying to put her at ease.

Maline shrugged. “Begging your pardon, but I assumed you wanted a dress made? Why else would you ask a simple seamstress like me up here.” She grinned. “I doubt it’s simply for the pleasure of my company.” 

I waved at Hallers, who poured tea. “You are both right and wrong. I did not ask you here to simply make me a dress, but I also did not ask you here just for tea, as much as I would enjoy just sitting and talking for once.”

“Then why…?” She stopped, confused as I stood to take a formal dress out of the trunk in the corner and brought it over to her.

“What do you think of this?”

Taken aback, she quickly put on an expression I recognized as her professional face. I had Hallers bring a dress form for her to drape it over, allowing her to study it closely. She walked around it, getting a general feel for the design, stepping closer to check the seams and construction, nodding occasionally. It took quite a while but I watched her happily, thinking of the few happier memories I had from my previous life while working in a dress shop with her.

 “The design is unique,” She finally spoke up. “The cloth… it’s from Tilendra, correct?”

At my nod she whistled with appreciation “Well made, difficult to get on this side of the border. Simple, but elegant, some of the lines could be cleaned up a bit. The sewing was well done, the seams are all passable although not perfect.”

She stopped walking around the dress, stopping at the front with a final sigh. “I’d say it’s a wonderful dress, Milady. Well designed, well made.”

“Thank you.” I answered modestly.

“…” She stared at me in shock. I also felt the prickling gaze of Hallers at  my back as well before he quickly controlled his expression. “You designed this?” She finally asked.

“Designed and sewn.” I spread my hands, grinning.

Maline’s eyes widened as she looked over the dress carefully again. “I have to admit then... You are very talented, Milady!”

“I can’t take credit for that, I’m afraid. I simply learned from the best.”

 Maline laughed. “I hate to disagree with nobility, but that’s impossible.”

“And why is that?”

She pointed to herself. “Because I am the best.” 

We both laughed at that, although for different reasons.

“So why show me this?” She finally asked.

“You could make this design, yes? Perhaps even improve upon this?”

Maline nodded. “Yes, but I thought you didn’t want a dress?”

“I don’t want one dress.” I sat back down at my desk. “I want to open up a business, a clothing shop, and hire you as the head seamstress.”

“…” She sat down silently in her own chair, staring at me as if I had grown a second head. “I don’t want to be rude Milady…”

“You can call me Lenora.” I interrupted, ignoring Hallers disapproving sigh. “We’re going to be business partners after all.”

“That’s yet to be determined. You may have talent, but I doubt you understand the ruthlessness, the determination it would take for us to make it in the clothing industry.”

_____________________________

Maline, usually so calm and collected, sobbed in the corner of the sewing room.

I patted her shoulder,  unsure of how to comfort someone who was normally so confident. “I’m sure it was a mistake.”

“It’s no mistake.” She snapped bitterly, wiping her tears. “Mr Haggot stole my designs, my contacts, and gave them to another seamstress. I trusted him, thought he valued me as a business partner, but instead he cut me out!”

“Isn’t there anything you can do…?” I drifted into silence as she shook her head sadly.

“Nothing. He took everything. I have nothing.” She sniffed. “This is the world of business, girl. Backstabbing, betrayal…. If you ever want to go into it, although I  don’t recommend it… find someone you can trust.”

“Maline…”

“So you don’t end up like me.” She sighed, looking around the shop. “I guess, this is goodbye.”

_____________________________

I looked Maline in the eye, not hiding my determination. “I know exactly what the business world is like. That’s why I need someone who can help me. Someone just as talented as I am so we can make a good product, but mean enough so between the two of us we can beat out everyone else.”

“…” After a few beats of silence she burst into laughter. “Well, you got two things right.” She admitted. “I’m talented and I’m mean.”

“And you won’t stab me in the back.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“How do you know I won’t?”

“…” For a moment, I didn’t answer. 

She had never betrayed me in my last life, but if I had learned anything, it was that the ones you never suspect, the ones closest to you who could tear you down the fastest. 

It wasn’t… couldn’t be friendship. There was no true friends in this life, I learned that the hard way. But perhaps there was something else, a certain professional integrity. I trusted Maline for the same reason I trusted Rig to gather information, or for Hallers to do… anything. They built their lives around being the best in their work, and if I couldn’t trust that, what could I trust?

That was it… that was the reason. I let out a silent sigh of relief. Not emotions, not weakness, not friendship.

 Never again.

“You are a professional.” I finally answered.

 She looked at me with renewed respect. “I most definitely am. “ Taking a sip of her tea, she continued. “But even if your designs and my sewing can make the best dresses around, what advantage will we have to sell them?” 

“That’s the easy part.” I pointed at myself. 

“You’re going to sell them?” Her question was skeptical. 

“Without even trying. You see, what do you think happens when the daughter of a duke, the fiancé to the crown prince, shows up to a party wearing a completely different design of dress?”  I leaned back in my own chair, sipping my tea with a smile. 

Maline’s eyes lit up. “They’ll copy you?”

 “They will. And if I tell them that I got the dress from an exclusive shop?”

She nodded slowly. “I- That… that just might work.”

“Not might.” I grinned. “It will definitely work.”

I could speak with absolute confidence. After all, it had happened before. In my previous life, in the years leading up to my downfall, I had been desperate to impress my inattentive fiancé. I started personally designing my dresses and having them made. It had cost a fortune, and in the end ultimately failed to even win me an extra glance from my betrothed, but each new design had sparked multiple new trends  across the nobility. The young women would flock around me, asking where I got my dress, my jewelry. They showered me with compliments and called me their friend.

Of course, once the engagement was broken, each and every one of the women who had called themselves my friend were nowhere to be found. They had used me for their own gain, and I had been too naïve to realize it until it was too late. But that was fine. 

In this lifetime, it would be me using them instead.

“I’ve struck a deal with a weaver in Tilendra, we’ll have good access to high quality cloth. With that, your skills and my influence to sell them, we’ll soon be busier than we can handle.” I set down my tea, leaning forward.  There are of course much more details and paperwork to it then that, but that’s the offer.” 

I held out my hand.

“Partners?”

Maline groaned. “I hope I don’t regret this.” She shook my hand. “Partners.”

We began drafting the framework of a business. I named it “Prosperity” after everything I hoped to have, everything that this shop would bring me. The beautiful plan to escape my terrible fate.

 And so, in my small office in the heart of the Duchy of Armeny, began the start of the newest, most exclusive dress shop, rumored to sell the finest gowns in the country.

#writing #i can't eat love #part 9 #fantasy #second life #second chances #there's a time skip coming after this #her plan is in motion guys

[iamperfectlyimperfect]

My Sexy Fire Fighter As short lived as it was. This has probably been my most eye opening relationship and here is our story. September 17th, I was on Facebook. This same guy kept popping up in my suggested friends. I thought he was the cutest thing ever and I figure I would tell him that. I sent “I like your smile!” a very short response of “Thank You.” September 26th, I was on Facebook and he just kept showing up. I sent a message “Facebook sure thinks we should be friends.” and he sent a friend request. I was off to shoot a wedding. But after I was done we began to exchange in conversation. Learning about what he does for work. Where he lives.  how many kids we have etc.. Normal getting to know you conversation.   I realized I knew this guy! Dec 17, 2016 the Sick Puppies concert, I had dropped my press pass and this was the really cute guy that picked up my press pass and tapped me on the shoulder to let me know I dropped it. Shortly after we started flirting, he was let go from his main job as emergency roadside assistance. I know how badly those days suck. how dark and gloomy they can be and I didn’t want him to feel like he had to go at it alone. So we went for a walk, a walk turned into a movie. Within a few short days I had the worlds biggest crush on this guy, I loved how calm he was. How the safe I felt when I was around him. He has very simple lifestyle choices. He really wanted to ovoid any sort of drama, he made sure it was clear he didn’t want to date a girl who hung out/talked to with ex’s. He had a certain way of letting me know the things he didn’t like when I did them. He would send me a selfie and my whole world would light up. I could not think about anything other then him. Enough to the point my boss’s sat me down one day and told me to slow my roll! I couldn’t help it he was keeping my world bright. Sure he was struggling through losing a job and was really beating himself up. But in all relationships there are ups and downs and you stand by your man in good times and bad. I want to show him I thought he was worth it. Not very long after we started talking roughly one week to be exact. We were having a late night BBQ and I invited him. I wanted him to step into my world and see if it was to much for him. This night happened to be WAY more drama then I expected out of the crew. Lots of different things were being talked about one topic of discussion is someone we all know to be a whore and that everyone had had a turn. Then we went on to talk about breaks up and other things. When We got in the car to drive home that night he asked me if “I had slept with the person we were referring to.” 7 days into dating I felt very uncomfortable with the question. I felt very judged. I knew he was keeping score in his head at this point. and I could feel whatever I answered was a trick. I said “no”. As time went on I enjoyed getting to know him. Watching movies, Playing Pokémon Go, sitting next to him while I edited photos. I wanted to be there every day. With kids and working a full time job + my part time own photography company I was stretched very thin, But I would still go over almost every night. You see his second job was an on call fire fighter so he couldn’t be fair from his station in case he got paged. Me being 100% understanding knowing that was his only source of income I didn’t except him to come to me. When I was not with him I called him my boyfriend. Although it was never “official” I wanted it more then anything. Omg did I talk about him every chance I got to anyone that would listen. He was the background on my phone. I just liked looking at him. I couldn’t wait to tell them world about this amazing guy I met. Then It got rocky…. one night I had a girls night I was dressed as a sexy witch, of course. Once all the girls had left I quickly darted out the door to head to his house. Hoping he would rip my clothes off and love me the second I walked in the door. That’s not was happened. Actually it was the exact opposite. I felt unattractive and unwanted. I laid awake all night. hurting. The next morning he didn’t kiss me goodbye when he walked out the door for drill. I walked out to my car to find a ticket. I got home and My brother headed out the door to play frisbee golf and I crawled into bed. When he got back he has Sean with him. (an Ex boyfriend) I told Allan Sean was there but that was not enough. He really felt I was being disrespectful that he was there. I did talk to both Todd and Sean and explained that Sean couldn’t be there because I wanted to eliminate the drama out of my life and Ex’s just aren’t good company to keep. But that was not good enough Allan. Really laid into me for 3 days. 2 of which he wouldn’t even look at me. He was short. Would barley say Hi. Yet, Me being who I am still went over there. Was still looking for the love and affection because I was crashing mentally. I just wanted a HUG. I needed love and affirmations from someone anyone and at that point in time it was him. He was the only thing that could have gotten my brain to stop. ***looking back I put myself in to an abusive situation, For him to not say hello or knowledge me as a person. for him to sit in silence and know I was struggling as bad as I was.  I should have got up and walked the fuck out the door. But I didn’t**** THEN IT HAPPENED! Remember that night I felt uncomfortable to tell the truth. Yeah well, I decided to have the conversation with him knowing he would be upset but hoping he would be understanding.  That was not the case that was actually his deal breaker. One lie puts doubt in every truth. That was it. Like I never existed. Nothing I could say or do about it. He was gone like he was never there to begin with. He wouldn’t let me show him. He wouldn’t me prove that that was so far out of character.  Period even of conversation. I hurt. I deleted all of our conversations. I deleted all of his sexy adorable amazing photos that I had spent hours staring at. I tired to not talk to him but I would only make it a few hours. I needed to delete and block him on all social media! I needed him gone. I wanted to stop thinking about him. It’s been 21 days and it still hurts like it did the day he walked away Today is his birthday. I had planned today to be as special as he is. I was really excited to give him his birthday present. He would have loved it! I wanted to see his face light up. I think I hurt because 1. I have never been dumped before. 2. because what I did was so out of character. I don’t lie and everyone I know will tell you I am the most honest and trust worthy person there is. but some how I lost site of that and I ruined the one thing I never wanted to loose. As I said this was short lived but so many take aways! https://youtu.be/aM3yH37ehRI

https://youtu.be/FBd-_gMlXpg https://youtu.be/A4z-vgUjvKg https://youtu.be/WRVohS0JPk0 https://youtu.be/aT_htzkOzHE

[eadanga]

Just a Kiss Part 2

Summary: Chris is in a rocky marriage to Nicole. He finds himself unable to resist MC the new girl in town who turns out to be his new secretary

Paring: ChrisxMC

MC fidgets as Chris stares at her “Well this is awkward” She takes a deep breath “Well nice to meet you Mr. Powell”

“When we’re not working call me Chris”

“Sure”

Chris smiles “I’ll see you around” He walks away and sits in his office he smiles to himself Guess I’ll be seeing more of her He spent the next two hours getting his work done. He stood up and stretched I need a break He stood and walk out of his office and saw MC “Hey”

She looked up from what she was writing “Hi”

“I hope I didn’t give you too much to do on your first day”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle”

Chris chuckles “You look like the kind of girl that can handle anything”

MC giggles “Not everything but I mange”

“Hey I’m gonna run out and get some snacks and we’ll throw a little party here for you”

“You don’t have to do that Chris”

“But I want to it’s no big deal and hey you can use this to get to know people”

“Well…” MC smiles “Ok”

“Great I’ll be back”

Chris heads out to buy the snacks then returns and let’s all his coworkers in on his plan they agreed to have it tomorrow. They prepare all night Chris looks back at their work and smiles She’s gonna love this He looks at the time Oh geez didn’t notice how late it was getting He drives home and quickly heads inside and spots Nicole waiting for him crossing her arms “Hey Nicole”

“Don’t hey Nicole me! Where the hell were you?!”

“I was at the office”

“Oh really? Doing what?!”

“Putting together a party”

“Well while you were partying I was sitting here starving”

“Well why didn’t you order food instead of sitting on your ass complaining”

She stands “Maybe I didn’t have money for that! Maybe if you stop giving out money all the time I could have!”

Chris crosses his arms “You’re always blaming me for all the problems in this house!” He looks down sees an empty wine bottle “Have you been drinking?”

“I’m stressed you’re making me stressed” She turns and takes another sip Chris knocks the glass out her hand “The hell you do that for?!”

“I think you’ve had enough!”

“I’ve had enough of you!”

Chris throws his hands up in frustration “Fine sit here on your drunk ass!” He storms out the door and gets in his car. He drives out to a park and slumps on the bench. He lets out the breath he’s been holding and pulls out his phone then dials a number.

“Hi Chris how are you?”

“Fine mom”

“How’s Nicole?”

Chris clenches his jaw “Mom I don’t think it’s working out between us”

“What do you mean?”

He sighs “We’ve been fighting constantly I think we’re gonna divorce soon”

“Come on Chris don’t give up yet I’m sure you two will work things out give it some time”

“I don’t know”

“No one said marriage would be easy but it’ll all work out. Do you still love her?”

“Well yeah I mean she’s my wife”

“Then if you two still love each other then you’ll work things out and if it doesn’t I’ll still be here to support you”

“Alright I’ll give it some time”

“Good now the two of you make up”

“I’m not home at the moment I wanted to blow off some steam”

“I see well get home soon I hope you two work it out”

“Thanks mom”

“No problem talk to you later”

“Bye” Chris hangs up and after a few more moments he heads home and looks for Nicole. He finds her in the bedroom fast asleep he watches her for a moment then he sighs and slips into bed with her

****

Chris walks into the office the next day and he and his coworkers get together to welcome MC he smiles as he watches her chatting with everyone and his eyes wander down her body She looks amazing today. He excuses himself from the conversation and heads toward her “Hey MC”

“Hi Chris I’m grateful that you put this together”

“It was no big deal kind of a tradition to welcome people here”

She smiles “Well that’s a tradition I can get used to”

Chris chuckles then takes a sip of his drink “Well you haven’t told me much about yourself”

“Not much to tell small hometown girl only child who’s just working to make a living” She smirks “What about you?”

“Small hometown boy with a younger brother in college and younger sister in high school working to pay for his brother’s college education”

“That’s so noble of you to look after your siblings”

“Yeah my mom worked hard to support us I don’t her to add tuition to her stack of bills”

She smirks “You mommas boy”

He laughs “Ain’t no shame in that”

They both burst out laughing Chris smiles “This party has been fun but we should head back to work”

“Whatever you say boss”

Chris chuckles as they head back to work. Chris sits at his desk working for 2 hours. There’s a knock on his door “Come in” MC enters and he smiles “Hi MC what can I do for you?”

“Well I’m just here to show you some papers” She walks closer to his desk and places the stack of papers on the desk. Chris can’t help but stare at her she looked beautiful. He tugs her shirt pulling her closer. He leaned in and kisses her softly on the lips her eyes widen in surprise then she sinks into the kiss.

Chris pulls back his eyes wide “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that”

MC blushes furiously “It’s ok Chris”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable”

“You didn’t it’s fine”

“Can we brush that off? Forget it ever happened?”

“Sure” She smirks “But I don’t think I’m gonna forget a kiss like that”

Chris rolls his eyes as MC giggles “Have you always been a dork?”

“Me? You’re the dork”

“This handsome guy a dork?”

He gives her a cheeky grin and MC rolls her eyes “I’m gonna go cause your head is getting too big to fit the room”

Chris laughs as she turns to go he grabs her wrist and pulls her back “I was just saying what you were thinking”

“That you’re a dork? Yes”

“Who’s handsome”

“Oh boy goodbye Chris”

Chris chuckles as he watches her go then he sits and runs his fingers through his hair What the hell came over me? Why did I kiss her? I’m a married man that was not right but… He stands and stares at her I can’t take my eyes off her she’s so amazing. He sighs It was just a kiss no harm done and what Nicole doesn’t know won’t kill her.

Tags: @indiacater @cora-nova @hopefulmoonobject @annekebbphotography @jared2612 @mfackenthal @syltti78 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @the-soot-sprite

#The Freshman #The Sophmore #the junior #choices the senior #the senior #choices #chris fanfic #choices fan fiction #choices fanfiction #chris fanfiction #chris x mc #Chris Powell #choices tf/ts #Christopher Powell #tf/ts/tj/ts

[2edge4u]

I can't sleep so here

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My gf

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Very shy unless I'm comfortable around them

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My gf on Tuesday

4. Are you easy to get along with? I would like to think so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Mallory

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Mmmnm girls typically kind and sweet ones

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Most def

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Lmao no

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends on who I'm talking to

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My gf Mallory

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Good night babe 😙

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? If I can't have you, poetry by dead men, dura remix, bilingue, please me

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? God yes and my gf does it all the damn time

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Idk it would be nice but sometimes it just kinda feels like were all just going through the motions and stuff like that just eases the pain and hopelessness

15. What good thing happened this summer? I lost a shit ton of weight

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? A million times

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? It would be naive to believe that there isn't the universe is fucking huge

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Lmfaooo no

19. Do you like bubble baths? Yeah but I gotta shower first. The idea of sitting in body soup makes me queasy.

20. Do you like your neighbors? Fuck no they're horrible people but my rent is cheap 🤷‍♀️

21. What are you bad habits? Over thinking and second guessing are at the top of the list

22. Where would you like to travel? Sooooo many places Florida is the worst get me out

23. Do you have trust issues? Yeah I guess so but I will trust those who treat me right

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going the fuck to sleep

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My thighs

26. What do you do when you wake up? Say good morning to Mallory then go pee

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? This is a kinda fucked up question but I mean I guess I don't like being this pale but I also like being inside so

28. Who are you most comfortable around? My gf and my mom

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yes and I blocked that bitch 🤷‍♀️

30. Do you ever want to get married? Yep

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Lmao no I'm too butch to have long hair anymore but I'm still pretty soft

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? I tried a threesome once in college and it was not a good time so no thanks. One girl at a time for me.

33. Spell your name with your chin. U8u7fw nailed it

34. Do you play sports? What sports? I used to play basketball but I'm too lazy so

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Fuck off that's impossible I'm a millennial

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Oh definitely

37. What do you say during awkward silences? Depends on who it is

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? I'm lucky because I'm already dating her 😍 long hair, blue eyes, working her dream job and super passionate about it, the epitome of sweet and kind, very good kisser, great listener, my little spoon, so fucking smart, knows the difference between your and you're, holds me when I need it, fixes my headaches, and she loves me back.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Publix and target

40. What do you want to do after high school? Bitch I graduated in 2005 I've already changed careers once and I'm about to do it again

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yeah unless they diddle kids or hurt women

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I'm angy or sad

43. Do you smile at strangers? You know that white person passing you in the hallway smile

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Fuck the ocean honestly so many things can bite or sting me

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Making money and seeing my gf

46. What are you paranoid about? Hahahaha so much

47. Have you ever been high? Yeah long time ago

48. Have you ever been drunk? Mhm

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not really

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? I literally only wear black and grey everything

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Oh definitely

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? Smaller boobs

53. Favourite makeup brand? Lmao I haven't worn makeup since college

54. Favourite store? Bitch I already answered this

55. Favourite blog? Hmmmm I can't choose y'all bitches are funny

56. Favourite colour? Grey

57. Favourite food? Hmmm salad and mashed potatoes. I also love Mexican food.

58. Last thing you ate? Caprese salad

59. First thing you ate this morning? Pussy, next question

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Lmao a lot of music competitions and also water skiing

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Lmao no I'm too scared to get in trouble

62. Been arrested? For what? I've never even been pulled over so no

63. Ever been in love? Yep

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? It was behind the big tire on the playground so no one would see. Lasted .5 seconds and we never talked again.

65. Are you hungry right now? Nah

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Yeah

67. Facebook or Twitter? Neither

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? Always

70. Names of your bestfriends? Mallory, Chris and Kjersten

71. Craving something? What? Reeses with the pieces inside that shit slaps

72. What colour are your towels? Grey

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? One for my head and one for in between my legs

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nope

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? None

75. Favourite animal? Puppies and kitties

76. What colour is your underwear? Grey and blue

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate covered cherry

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? I'm not wearing a shirt

80. What colour pants? No pants either just boxers and a sports bra

81. Favourite tv show? Fuck you I can't choose

82. Favourite movie? Texas chainsaw

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Why would you even ask me this the original obviously

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Gretchen wieners

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory

87. First person you talked to today? Mallory

88. Last person you talked to today? Mallory

89. Name a person you hate? My boss and the majority of my colleagues

90. Name a person you love? My gf

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Nah I don't really like punching ppl

92. In a fight with someone? No

93. How many sweatpants do you have? I'm a lesbian so a lot

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Idk like 10ish?

95. Last movie you watched? Rocky horror

96. Favourite actress? So many

97. Favourite actor? Why tf do some people still separate this by gender

98. Do you tan a lot? Lmao no

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah I live in the south

99. Have any pets? Yep a dog and 2 cats

100. How are you feeling? Slept literally all day so I can't sleep but my headache is finally gone 🙌

101. Do you type fast? Yeah

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Mhm

103. Can you spell well? I would like to think so

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? My grandparents

#i should be sleeping #but i did this instead #get to know me yall #im an idiot #long post

[meddows-theblondebastard]

“Galileo” or Stop Laughing At Me While I’m Filming (Ben Hardy Imagine)

Also posted on d-double-trouble and AO3. 

Warnings: Should I say none or should I say that things will get serious by the end of this? 

                                                Imagines / Part 2

PLOT: Your friend, Ben is hilarious while filming for Bohemian Rhapsody movie and that makes both of you distracted. (+)

(Credits to Alena Abbazova for the picture on Pinterest.)

It was literally too hard to abstain your smile when you visited Ben on set. Everyone around was simply so nice to you, Ben’s new friends were hilarious and to have the chance to see him being completely transformed into the one and only Roger Taylor from Queen was beyond words as an experience and above all of that, the role fitted him so well. You would’ve skipped days at work for those kind of opportunities, which weren’t so common, but somehow, Ben had managed to invite you here to spend some time together. Bohemian Rhapsody was the best thing that has ever happened to him in a long time. I mean, yeah, he was an incredible actor and you knew it very well, but for him to be part of such an important project with such dedicated cast and crew meant very much. The world, actually. You could see the excitement in him from miles away and the way he talked about every detail, the way he would call you everytime to tell you about how his day went, recreate moments and jokes made by his mates and how he would ask you to come and see with your own eyes how amazing is to do that day by day … You were so glad for him. Glad that he was having a great time and for the fact that he was living his best dreams of all. You’ve been lucky enough to be among his old friends from home, he is a special person for you because it’s been a long time since you’ve known each other. Right before graduation, when he had just started to go to University, you were there even when he got the role of Peter Beale in Eastenders. He certainly worked hard to become what he is today, even though he thinks he still has a lot more things to learn in order to feel like a real actor. To be honest, he is sometimes too insecure to admit that he ended up where he is now because he liked acting and being involved with people on the stage. He just had this passion and went on with it until it became something to be proud about.

At least, you felt very proud of him.

„Galileo, Galileo … Galileo, Figaroo!” In an attempt to muffle your laughter when you watched Ben trying to imitate Roger’s falsettos while the scene where the boys were supposedly recording Bohemian Rhapsody was being filmed, you held your palm just over your mouth. You discovered that it is almost impossible to hold back some giggles when you see him acting in this part. The script is good, no doubt, it’s just the blond haired here, and his profound skills.

„Higher.” Gestured Joe who was playing John Deacon.

„Jesus, how many more Galileo’s do you want??” Ben bursted, deep into his role. Even so, you couldn’t stop laughing … Or half-choking-half-laughing. You knew he shouldn’t have seen you, but that was hard enough when you were behind the cameras at a decent distance from the director. Every person from the edge of the filming area was watching carefully and entertained except from you. And like it was written in the stars, Ben cought your action and the look on your face. Surely, your face was red with amusement and that was the thing that made him shot you a grin and then let out an innocent laugh. The next thing you knew was the director yelling a ‚cut’.

„Was that in the script?” The question followed. Immediately after that, you moved away from set, it was your fault for that  and you didn’t want to be observed. Walking quickly past some other people responsable with the costumes and sound you ended up at a table filled with snacks brought by everyone. You grabbed a salty biscuit and ate it nervously. Some moments went by and Ben didn’t seem to be around so you tried to turn around and go back to where you were standing. Insteand of doing that, you were taken aback by his own figure which was now right behind you. He smirked in your face. Okay, so you didn’t cause that much of a trouble.

„Y/N.” He said, with a voice which didn’t inspire threat at all. „Stop laughing at me while I’m filming.”

And because you have always tried to be a devoted friend of him, an innocent expression was all you could give back in response.

„You know I’m not complaining, but they might want to kill me otherwise.”

„I’m so sorry.” You started with a short giggle. „You all were so funny and so concentrated to get it right out there. Besides, it’s even funnier that you are supposed to reach some high notes of someone who is famous for them.”

„Oh, really? Well, just so you know, I handle it pretty damn well.” Said Ben while trying to dramatically push some stands of his blonde wig from near his right cheek away. Instead of doing that, he only managed to move the wig from its perfect place on his head.

„Now you should be careful with Roger Taylor’s hair.” You noted, stopping any of his movements. „Please.”

„Don’t you worry, darling.” He teased, slowly letting a grin take over his lips. Seconds later, someone called his name from somwhere back on set, maybe. „I gotta go, but let’s grab a coffee in the lunch break. I’ll have a whole hour.”

„Sure. Why not?”

„Stay away from the set, Y/N.” He smiled at you and stepped back. When he wasn’t in your sight anymore, you shook your head being amused and then tried to come up with something you could do to make time fly.

                                                             *

„I don’t really get why you prefer iced coffee over simple coffee. Coffee should be a hot beverage.” Sitting at a table at the cafe, you needed to answer to Ben’s foolsih question. And for the record, you weren’t planning on spending the hour he had with this kind of debate.

„Can you not?” You said, raising your eyebrows at him.

„I will never understand.” Ben continued. „So how comes that you were on set today? Was your boss in a good mood to give you a day off?”

„Well, he didn’t really give me a day off.” You trailed your own words. „I think I told him a little white lie.” You were working at a company in charge with planning different kind of events and most of your days at work were kind of full. It was either going from place to place, either making phone calls all day long. A little disturbing thing of yours was the fact that you were too dedicated in comparison with the rest of the employees and unfortunately for you, the boss had noticed. It became hard trying to find an excuse for a day off, even to explain why you were, for example, half an hour late. But you always work it out, one way or another.

„You lied to see me, as I hear.”

The guy in front of you surely knew how to turn things in his favor. Bad for him that you were already used to that, so you knew how to trick the rules.

„Yeah, I told him that a close friend of mine is in the hospital for a knee surgery.”  You answered.

„Knee surgery? What kind of reason did you give him for that?”

„He fell off the bike.”

„Lame.”

„You should be grateful that I didn’t told him I was going to visit Ben Hardy on the set of Bohemian Rhapsody, not that he would’ve known you.” You shot back, taking a sip from your iced coffee.

„We all are Queen fans, Y/N, it would’ve been a thing, trust me.” Of course he wasn’t going to drop it because he’s such a proud winner. At least he acts like one.

„Okay, okay. Let’s change the subject. How was your day before me coming in and ruining your opera moment?” He tasted his warm coffee as well while answering to your question.

„Awesome. We filmed some scenes in just one take, which was pretty intense. How’s Rockie?”

Rockie was your boyfriend since college and right now, Ben just wanted to keep the conversation going by asking about him. He’s never been his type of a person and Rockie glared at him whenever the three of you would hang out. Although he never said it, he is jealous of your friend. He thinks he spends too much time in your presence and doesn’t like when you two have inside jokes which seem too much for his understanding. This is the only thing that upsets you about Rockie. He can’t tell you with who you should hang out with and with who you shouldn’t. But being your boyfriend for almost four solid years was beautiful. When there’s just you and him, he’s gentle, reserved and loving. He looks after you and speaks very fondly of you to his relatives and friends. And maybe, maybe there is one more thing which keeps you settled.

„He’s fine, at work I suppose. For the record, he knows that I’m in my office right now and it should stay this way.” You looked right in Ben’s eyes after that sentence, but he seemed confused.

„Oh, so he’s still an asshole too.”

„Well, he tries not to.”

„He keeps on with being upset that we see each other from time to time and that makes him a big asshole in my eyes. We’re friends, Y/N. You should remind him that you’re pregnant with his baby, at least, if he magically forgot that.” Ben’s words were a bit harsh for your ears, but he didn’t totally mean it. You can see that in his eyes when he realizes how it sounded falling from his lips.

„No, no, I- … I didn’t want to say it that way.” The subject wasn’t that flexible and easy to reach, not that you wanted to reach it. Your pregnancy with Rockie happened, as uncomfortable as you were saying or even thinking about it, as an accident. And it did scare you at first, when you were panicking around about what were you supposed to do, but eventually, you calmed down. He was happy about it, your parents were kind of shocked when you told them, Ben was … Ben almost choked on his sandwich when you decided to tell him. He was the first one to find this out and you will never explain yourself to anyone who tries to rudely point this out. No one was really calm in the first place; you were undoubtedly frightened, you cried and cried and then ate a lot because of those cravings … It was crazy to accept this change in your life, but you had support. That was really important. Ben tried his best to keep you company when you were alone and comfort you about the insecurities you had and about that small bean inside of you. That’s how he called it. You are still young and things aren’t as perfect as they seem, but your final decision was to keep the baby. You couldn’t think of another option and your intention isn’t to hurt anyone. So you need to accept it and embrace it. You don’t know anything more yet, but you’ll do it. Because you know you’re not alone.

„Ben, it’s alright. You’re not rude to me.” Your voice wasn’t showing any hurt feelings or anything alike, so he shouldn’t be sorry. He’s just angry with Rockie being too possessive over you. And for the fact that he’s imagining things.

„It’s awful that you need to lie to him because he can’t simply understand.” Ben muttered, eyes glued on his coffee cup.

„I know. I guess he has to accept it, our friendship. I told him already that I’m not going to cut certain people out of my life for his love. I don’t want to fight with him. He has to be realistic.”

„Yes, exactly. Anyway, you can always count on me. Whenever you need it. For real, I’m here for you and I know that you’re going through a rough time …”

„Do not pity me, Ben, you know I hate it. I’m cool. I’ll be a cool mom.”

You should make that a badge, yeah, right.

„That’s for sure.” He smiled at you revealing his white teeth. „Hey, if you want, we are gathering at my place tonight. Rami, Joe, Gwilym, Lucy, they will be there. Would you want to come?”

„I’d like to, but I’m going out with Rockie. Sorry.”

„Don’t be sorry, it’s fine. Though we’ll be there if you change your mind. Or if he doesn’t see you sneak up.” You grinned when you heard his response. Continuing to drink your coffee, you though how much time did he have left.

„I have to be back in like, ten minutes. If you’re coming with me, promise me I will not see your face behind the cameras. I still have to pretend that I’m recording the most famous single of the 20th century. I won’t mess that up.” Nonsense, you knew he was actually begging you not to mock him or make fun of him. Hmm, you thought.

„Chill out, pretty face. You already rock.”

#ben hardy #bohemian rhapsody #ben #hardy #joe mazzello #gwilym lee #lucy boynton #rami malek #ben x reader imagines #bohemian rhapsody imagines #queen #queen imagines #roger taylor #meddows-theblondebastard imagines #ben hardy imagines #fanfiction writing

[im-writing-under-a-pen-name]

“Galileo” or Stop Laughing At Me While I’m Filming (Ben Hardy Imagine)

I’m doing this because I’m a multifandom trash.

Like, seriously.

Warnings: Should I say none or should I say that things will get serious by the end of this?

                        ��                                     Imagines / Part 2

PLOT: Your friend, Ben is hilarious while filming for Bohemian Rhapsody movie and that makes both of you distracted. (+) 

It was literally too hard to abstain your smile when you visited Ben on set. Everyone around was simply so nice to you, Ben’s new friends were hilarious and to have the chance to see him being completely transformed into the one and only Roger Taylor from Queen was beyond words as an experience and above all of that, the role fitted him so well. You would’ve skipped days at work for those kind of opportunities, which weren’t so common, but somehow, Ben had managed to invite you here to spend some time together. Bohemian Rhapsody was the best thing that has ever happened to him in a long time. I mean, yeah, he was an incredible actor and you knew it very well, but for him to be part of such an important project with such dedicated cast and crew meant very much. The world, actually. You could see the excitement in him from miles away and the way he talked about every detail, the way he would call you everytime to tell you about how his day went, recreate moments and jokes made by his mates and how he would ask you to come and see with your own eyes how amazing is to do that day by day … You were so glad for him. Glad that he was having a great time and for the fact that he was living his best dreams of all. You’ve been lucky enough to be among his old friends from home, he is a special person for you because it’s been a long time since you’ve known each other. Right before graduation, when he had just started to go to University, you were there even when he got the role of Peter Beale in Eastenders. He certainly worked hard to become what he is today, even though he thinks he still has a lot more things to learn in order to feel like a real actor. To be honest, he is sometimes too insecure to admit that he ended up where he is now because he liked acting and being involved with people on the stage. He just had this passion and went on with it until it became something to be proud about.

At least, you felt very proud of him.

„Galileo, Galileo … Galileo, Figaroo!” In an attempt to muffle your laughter when you watched Ben trying to imitate Roger’s falsettos while the scene where the boys were supposedly recording Bohemian Rhapsody was being filmed, you held your palm just over your mouth. You discovered that it is almost impossible to hold back some giggles when you see him acting in this part. The script is good, no doubt, it’s just the blond haired here, and his profound skills.

„Higher.” Gestured Joe who was playing John Deacon.

„Jesus, how many more Galileo’s do you want??” Ben bursted, deep into his role. Even so, you couldn’t stop laughing … Or half-choking-half-laughing. You knew he shouldn’t have seen you, but that was hard enough when you were behind the cameras at a decent distance from the director. Every person from the edge of the filming area was watching carefully and entertained except from you. And like it was written in the stars, Ben cought your action and the look on your face. Surely, your face was red with amusement and that was the thing that made him shot you a grin and then let out an innocent laugh. The next thing you knew was the director yelling a ‚cut’.

„Was that in the script?” The question followed. Immediately after that, you moved away from set, it was your fault for that  and you didn’t want to be observed. Walking quickly past some other people responsable with the costumes and sound you ended up at a table filled with snacks brought by everyone. You grabbed a salty biscuit and ate it nervously. Some moments went by and Ben didn’t seem to be around so you tried to turn around and go back to where you were standing. Insteand of doing that, you were taken aback by his own figure which was now right behind you. He smirked in your face. Okay, so you didn’t cause that much of a trouble.

„Y/N.” He said, with a voice which didn’t inspire threat at all. „Stop laughing at me while I’m filming.”

And because you have always tried to be a devoted friend of him, an innocent expression was all you could give back in response.

„You know I’m not complaining, but they might want to kill me otherwise.”

„I’m so sorry.” You started with a short giggle. „You all were so funny and so concentrated to get it right out there. Besides, it’s even funnier that you are supposed to reach some high notes of someone who is famous for them.”

„Oh, really? Well, just so you know, I handle it pretty damn well.” Said Ben while trying to dramatically push some stands of his blonde wig from near his right cheek away. Instead of doing that, he only managed to move the wig from its perfect place on his head.

„Now you should be careful with Roger Taylor’s hair.” You noted, stopping any of his movements. „Please.”

„Don’t you worry, darling.” He teased, slowly letting a grin take over his lips. Seconds later, someone called his name from somwhere back on set, maybe. „I gotta go, but let’s grab a coffee in the lunch break. I’ll have a whole hour.”

„Sure. Why not?”

„Stay away from the set, Y/N.” He smiled at you and stepped back. When he wasn’t in your sight anymore, you shook your head being amused and then tried to come up with something you could do to make time fly.

                                                              *

„I don’t really get why you prefer iced coffee over simple coffee. Coffee should be a hot beverage.” Sitting at a table at the cafe, you needed to answer to Ben’s foolsih question. And for the record, you weren’t planning on spending the hour he had with this kind of debate.

„Can you not?” You said, raising your eyebrows at him.

„I will never understand.” Ben continued. „So how comes that you were on set today? Was your boss in a good mood to give you a day off?”

„Well, he didn’t really give me a day off.” You trailed your own words. „I think I told him a little white lie.” You were working at a company in charge with planning different kind of events and most of your days at work were kind of full. It was either going from place to place, either making phone calls all day long. A little disturbing thing of yours was the fact that you were too dedicated in comparison with the rest of the employees and unfortunately for you, the boss had noticed. It became hard trying to find an excuse for a day off, even to explain why you were, for example, half an hour late. But you always work it out, one way or another.

„You lied to see me, as I hear.”

The guy in front of you surely knew how to turn things in his favor. Bad for him that you were already used to that, so you knew how to trick the rules.

„Yeah, I told him that a close friend of mine is in the hospital for a knee surgery.”  You answered.

„Knee surgery? What kind of reason did you give him for that?”

„He fell off the bike.”

„Lame.”

„You should be grateful that I didn’t told him I was going to visit Ben Hardy on the set of Bohemian Rhapsody, not that he would’ve known you.” You shot back, taking a sip from your iced coffee.

„We all are Queen fans, Y/N, it would’ve been a thing, trust me.” Of course he wasn’t going to drop it because he’s such a proud winner. At least he acts like one.

„Okay, okay. Let’s change the subject. How was your day before me coming in and ruining your opera moment?” He tasted his warm coffee as well while answering to your question.

„Awesome. We filmed some scenes in just one take, which was pretty intense. How’s Rockie?”

Rockie was your boyfriend since college and right now, Ben just wanted to keep the conversation going by asking about him. He’s never been his type of a person and Rockie glared at him whenever the three of you would hang out. Although he never said it, he is jealous of your friend. He thinks he spends too much time in your presence and doesn’t like when you two have inside jokes which seem too much for his understanding. This is the only thing that upsets you about Rockie. He can’t tell you with who you should hang out with and with who you shouldn’t. But being your boyfriend for almost four solid years was beautiful. When there’s just you and him, he’s gentle, reserved and loving. He looks after you and speaks very fondly of you to his relatives and friends. And maybe, maybe there is one more thing which keeps you settled.

„He’s fine, at work I suppose. For the record, he knows that I’m in my office right now and it should stay this way.” You looked right in Ben’s eyes after that sentence, but he seemed confused.

„Oh, so he’s still an asshole too.”

„Well, he tries not to.”

„He keeps on with being upset that we see each other from time to time and that makes him a big asshole in my eyes. We’re friends, Y/N. You should remind him that you’re pregnant with his baby, at least, if he magically forgot that.” Ben’s words were a bit harsh for your ears, but he didn’t totally mean it. You can see that in his eyes when he realizes how it sounded falling from his lips.

„No, no, I- … I didn’t want to say it that way.” The subject wasn’t that flexible and easy to reach, not that you wanted to reach it. Your pregnancy with Rockie happened, as uncomfortable as you were saying or even thinking about it, as an accident. And it did scare you at first, when you were panicking around about what were you supposed to do, but eventually, you calmed down. He was happy about it, your parents were kind of shocked when you told them, Ben was … Ben almost choked on his sandwich when you decided to tell him. He was the first one to find this out and you will never explain yourself to anyone who tries to rudely point this out. No one was really calm in the first place; you were undoubtedly frightened, you cried and cried and then ate a lot because of those cravings … It was crazy to accept this change in your life, but you had support. That was really important. Ben tried his best to keep you company when you were alone and comfort you about the insecurities you had and about that small bean inside of you. That’s how he called it. You are still young and things aren’t as perfect as they seem, but your final decision was to keep the baby. You couldn’t think of another option and your intention isn’t to hurt anyone. So you need to accept it and embrace it. You don’t know anything more yet, but you’ll do it. Because you know you’re not alone.

„Ben, it’s alright. You’re not rude to me.” Your voice wasn’t showing any hurt feelings or anything alike, so he shouldn’t be sorry. He’s just angry with Rockie being too possessive over you. And for the fact that he’s imagining things.

„It’s awful that you need to lie to him because he can’t simply understand.” Ben muttered, eyes glued on his coffee cup.

„I know. I guess he has to accept it, our friendship. I told him already that I’m not going to cut certain people out of my life for his love. I don’t want to fight with him. He has to be realistic.”

„Yes, exactly. Anyway, you can always count on me. Whenever you need it. For real, I’m here for you and I know that you’re going through a rough time …”

„Do not pity me, Ben, you know I hate it. I’m cool. I’ll be a cool mom.”

You should make that a badge, yeah, right.

„That’s for sure.” He smiled at you revealing his white teeth. „Hey, if you want, we are gathering at my place tonight. Rami, Joe, Gwilym, Lucy, they will be there. Would you want to come?”

„I’d like to, but I’m going out with Rockie. Sorry.”

„Don’t be sorry, it’s fine. Though we’ll be there if you change your mind. Or if he doesn’t see you sneak up.” You grinned when you heard his response. Continuing to drink your coffee, you though how much time did he have left.

„I have to be back in like, ten minutes. If you’re coming with me, promise me I will not see your face behind the cameras. I still have to pretend that I’m recording the most famous single of the 20th century. I won’t mess that up.” Nonsense, you knew he was actually begging you not to mock him or make fun of him. Hmm, you thought.

„Chill out, pretty face. You already rock.”

(It was based on that scene in the recording studio with Ben as Roger because that is my favorite scene in the movie.)

Hi everyone, I’m back again! (Hopefully, this time). It’s been a long time since I last updated this page of mine but well, I got distracted with school and other stuff and it was kinda hard for me to come back. But I’ve been around here, reblogging and hearting and all that. As you can see (and as you may be aware of), I’ve watched Bohemian Rhapsody, the Queen biopic and it was absolutely amazing! Then, I just noticed Ben Hardy playing Roger Taylor in the background and I guess you can understand the story from this point. I have to say that Queen fandom and you, Queenies (just correct me if I’m wrong) are absolutely beautiful people and you inspired me a lot on this. I want to find out more about you and keep discover you here on Tumblr. Thank you a lot for that, really. If you really wanted to read ‘till you got there, then you might wanna read until the end? Yeah, this is a Ben Hardy Imagine, I couldn’t stay still and not write one myself. And because I don’t mean to bore you more, I will say that I hope you enjoyed it. I’m looking forward for your opinions and thoughts about it because it’s not the only imagine of this kind. I’m really into Queen and Bohemian Rhapsody cast members right now and I’m excited to see how it will work for me. And for you, also, because you read it and your opinions are very important to me. 

How many times did you watched Bohemian Rhapsody in theaters? I’m just curious. I’ve watched it three times already. I can’t, it’s too good.

Okay, as you’ve seen in the beginning, I have a ‘Imagines’ section linked. You can take a look if you liked this one, I meant that multifandom part. *wink*

And in the eenndd, I would feel extremely flattered to receive requests from you if you’re willing to leave me one. Don’t hesitate, I consider it very cute! 

Part two of this? Almost definitely. 

Thank you guys so much for your attention. It means so much to me! I’m very, very excited to share stories and crazy stuff with you!!

xoxo, D.

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagines #ben x reader #ben x reader imagines #ben hardy x reader imagines #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohemian rhapsody #queen imagines #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fanfic #bohemian rhapsody movie fanfic #ben x reader imagine #ben #fanfiction writing #hardy #fanfiction #queen #bohemian #rhapsody #imagines #roger taylor #borhap #borhap imagine

[antariies]

Forgive Us

Summary: The Commander has another near-death experience and their team is not happy about it. (AKA: a long-overdue apology to a Commander who’s trying their best) 

Characters: Pact Commander, literally all of Dragon’s Watch sans Rytlock

Notes: Commander’s POV (2nd person); Set after PoF; 2400 words; this is the most self-indulgent thing i’ve written yet and i blame @saruhoh for it

—

You wake to blinding sunlight.

You groan softly, squeezing your eyes tighter and turning away in an attempt to block the light.

“Oh, you’re up!” an unfamiliar voice calls from your left. There’s a quiet rustling of fabric before the warmth mercifully disappears from your face. Safe from the light, you open your eyes and glance to the side. A tall Elonian woman you don’t recognize stands by the window, one hand holding the woven curtain.

“Sorry for waking you like that,” she apologizes, tying the curtain back with a length of cord, “How are you feeling?”

You open your mouth to reply, but your throat burns and you just end up coughing weakly instead. “Water,” you rasp, “please.”

It only takes a moment for her to fetch a pitcher of water and a cup. She helps you into a sitting position and props the pillows up behind you as you let the cool water soothe your throat. Every instinct in your body screams at you to just chug it, but you ignore them, forcing yourself to drink as slowly as possible instead. You lean back against the pillows when you’re finished and the woman takes the cup from your hands, setting it down next to the pitcher on the bedside table.

“Thank you,” you say sincerely.

She flashes you a quick smile. “Just doing my job. You’re lucky to be alive, Commander. If you hadn’t gotten medical attention in time, well…” She gestures at you.

Glancing at your arms, you finally notice the bandages covering them. You hook a finger in the collar of your loose cotton shirt and pull outward, looking down. Clean gauze crisscrosses your stomach and chest, wrapping all the way around one of your shoulders. Your legs are hidden under a thin blanket, but you assume they’re in the same state as your arms.

Despite the sheer amount of bandages, you only feel slightly sore. The nurse gives a quiet laugh when she catches your look of confusion.

“You should be able to take those off soon,” she says, “You were badly injured, but our healers worked their magic and now you’re good as—well, almost as good as new.”

You nod, making a mental note to go find and thank the healers later. “How long was I unconscious?” you ask politely.

“Two days, I believe. Your friends have been worried sick. Oh!” her eyes widen and she claps once. “Your friends! They’ll be thrilled to hear you’re awake. I’ll go let them know.”

As she hurries out of the room, you close your eyes and concentrate, trying to remember what happened over the past several days.

.

. 

.

You remember fire.

You remember fire and metal and way too many Forged to handle on your own. But why were you alone? Why wasn’t your team there? Why-

And then you remember that it was your choice. You had insisted that you could do this mission by yourself, despite your team’s objections.

In hindsight, that was a bad idea.

There’s a smoking crater where that Forged camp used to be, you made sure of that, but at the same time, you barely made it out alive yourself.

“If you hadn’t gotten medical attention in time, well…”

You sigh, already dreading the earful you’ll get from your team later.

Or, you think as you listen to a sudden commotion out in the hall, the one you’ll get from them now.

Glancing at the window, you entertain the idea of sneaking out for a second before shoving it away. Despite the fuss you know they’re going to make over you, you love your friends dearly and you’re genuinely excited to see them again.

Besides, it would only make things worse if they caught you trying to escape.

As the noise outside gets louder, you count backwards from three in your head. When you get to zero, the door bursts open with frantic shouts of “Commander!”

A tired grin stretches across your face as you watch your team spill into the room. Braham and Taimi are the first through the door and the first to make it to your bed. She clambers down from her spot on his shoulders and plops herself at your feet while the rest of Dragon’s Watch surrounds the bed. Canach arrives last, calmly walking into the room instead of rushing in like everyone else. There’s stiffness in his gait though, and you recognize it as restraint.

An awkward silence hangs in the air as your team glances around at you and each other, unsure of what to say.

You clear your throat, drawing the attention to yourself. “So, uh,” you start, “I’m alive.”

“Yes, we can see that,” Canach remarks dryly.

Kasmeer gives him a pointed look before turning to you, a small smile on her face. “How are you feeling, Commander?” she asks gently.

“Fine,” you reply, “A little sore, but I should be back to normal by the end of today. These bandages are mostly decorative at this point.”

Everyone relaxes at that. Another silence descends upon the room, somehow more uncomfortable than the first.

Thankfully, it doesn’t last long.

“What, pray tell, were you thinking, Commander?” Canach snaps.

“You nearly died in there, Boss,” Marjory cuts in before you can answer, crossing her arms, “You should’ve waited for reinforcements.”

“You shouldn’t have gone alone in the first place,” Rox says, narrowing her eyes. At her feet, Frostbite clicks in agreement. Everyone else nods seriously.

“Okay,” you concede, almost wincing under the force of six disapproving stares, “I agree that wasn’t... one of my better ideas.”

It’s unnerving how they all manage to raise their eyebrows in unison.

“It was a horrible idea,” you amend, “and I’m sorry for not listening. But hey, at least everything worked out in the end, right?”

“You almost died,” Taimi says quietly. There’s something in those big eyes of hers that makes your insides twist with guilt and you turn away, unable to look at her. You stare pointedly at your hands instead, fiddling with the bandages covering your wrists.

“Well, it wouldn’t have been the first time,” you joke, trying to lighten the mood. When no one says anything, you glance up. Your guilt doubles as you take in everyone’s pained expressions.

“Commander, that’s… that’s not funny,” Kas says softly, sharing a look with Taimi and Canach, “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

“What do you want me to say then?”

“What? No, this isn’t about what we want,” she says, “It’s about you almost dying!”

“Okay, what about it?” you ask.

Kas stares at you incredulously. “You- you almost died!” she repeats.

“Yeah, I know that,” you say, “So what’s the problem?”

“The problem,” Taimi snaps, “is that we nearly lost you! Again! And you don’t seem to care at all!” Her hands are balled into fists and her teeth are bared. You’ve never seen her get this angry before.

“Taimi, it’s… it’s fine,” you say gently, trying to reassure her, “I’m alive, I’m okay.”

”That’s not the point! Don’t you care that you almost died?!”

“Of course I do! It’s just… ” you trail off. Everyone stares at you expectantly, but there’s no end to that sentence that wouldn’t make them all feel worse, so you just leave it unfinished and continue with, “Look, does it really matter that much?”

“Yes!” nearly everyone shouts.

“Of course it matters, Boss,” Jory says, “We care about you.”

“Do you?”

You haven’t seen faces this shocked since you came back from the dead. You’re calm for a second, then the realization of what you just said hits you like a war hammer and you rush to apologize.

“I’m- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say tha-”

“Do you really think we don’t care about you?” Taimi asks quietly.

You open your mouth to reply, but then you falter and look away. Your silence is answer enough.

“Commander…” Kas starts sadly, but you stop her with a shake of your head.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Commander-” Rox tries.

“It’s fine,” you say more forcefully.

“It’s not fine and you need to stop saying it is!” Braham growls, glaring at you.

Your eyes widen in surprise. Things have been tense between you two ever since he and Rox arrived in Amnoon. There was some stilted conversation here and there, but your relationship is still rocky at best, and you’ve both been avoiding each other whenever you can. Absently, you wonder if this is going to end in another shouting match.

You take a deep breath and straighten your back. “Excuse me?” you ask, leveling an even stare at him.

Braham shuffles awkwardly as he looks away, but then his jaw tightens and he nods, turning back to face you. Determination burns bright in his eyes. “Commander, we owe you an apology.”

You... you weren’t expecting that.

“We haven’t been very good friends lately,” he starts, “We’ve all been too wrapped up in our own problems to think about you’ve been going through… some of us more than others,” he admits with a wry smile. You laugh weakly, but he’s not finished.

“I'm sorry, Commander.”

Your breath catches in your throat.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, “about what I said to you back in that cave. You didn't deserve that. You never did."

Your hands grip the blanket.

“It’s okay,” you say. Braham narrows his eyes and opens his mouth but you continue before he can speak. “Braham, it’s okay. You were angry and you lashed out because you were hurting. I understand.” You try to smile at him, but he just shakes his head, staring at you sadly.

"You were hurting too,” he says softly.

You can’t seem to look anyone in the eyes today.

The bed dips as Kas sits down next to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “He’s right, Commander,” she says. “I know none of us have ever really said it, but… we care about you. We always have. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Yeah!” Taimi chimes in, “You matter way more to us than some dumb mission!”

“You may be our boss, Boss, but you’re our friend above all,” Jory says.

“You don’t have to do everything by yourself,” Braham says, giving you another wry smile, “Trust me, I know.”

“We’re your team,” Rox says, “We’ll be here when you need us.” Frostbite clicks again and waves his tails around.

They’re all smiling at you, smiling and staring with something the hopeful part of you desperately wants to call love and it’s…

It’s all too much.

Something heavy in your chest is making it hard for you to breathe. A sort of itchy heat forms behinds your eyes as your vision blurs and you realize-

You’re about to cry.

No, you think with horror, ducking your head down and clutching at the blanket. You glare fiercely at the blurred shapes of your hands, trying to will the tears back. Please, please not now.

You will not let yourself fall apart in front of everyone. You refuse to.

“Commander,” Canach says, finally speaking up. You freeze, but keep your head down, praying he has something sarcastic to say so you can just laugh everything off like you always do.

Bottle up your emotions like you always do.

Never let anyone see how badly you’re fraying like you always do.

“Try to be more careful in the future,” he says quietly, “It was hard enough losing you the first time… I don’t think we could handle it again.”

You break.

A choked sob is the only sound you make before you grit your teeth and slap a hand over your mouth. Tears spill freely down your face as you squeeze your eyes shut and curl in on yourself, shoulders heaving as you gasp for air, struggling to breathe through your fingers. You hear Taimi shout, “Commander!” in a shaky voice before something—someone head-butts you in the chest and a pair of tiny arms attempts to wrap around your waist. Kas leans against your shoulder as she rubs soothing circles on your back and Jory slings an arm around your neck, leaning into your other side. The bed dips dangerously low as Braham and Rox both decide to crush you all between them in a hug.

Canach hesitates, but after some motivation from Taimi, (“C’mon, Canach, get in on this! Do it for the Commander!”) he finally relents, complaining about how cramped it’s going to be even as he climbs onto the bed. He almost gets away with just half-heartedly leaning into the hug before Braham grabs him by the arm and yanks him closer to you. Canach grumbles even louder, but reaches out to awkwardly pat you on the head several times, which is apparently the only way he knows how to show affection.

They hold you close as you cry and shake in their arms, cooing softly whenever you sob or hiccup. Eventually, your breathing evens out and you can sort of speak without choking on air.

"Thank you," you whisper hoarsely past the lump in your throat, "All of you."

Everyone squeezes just a little bit tighter. You haven’t felt this loved in so long and you think you never want this moment to end. And it doesn’t, until you all freeze when your stomach practically roars because you haven’t eaten in days.

It feels so good to laugh again.

Everyone is rubbing their eyes when they pull away and you’re glad to see you weren’t the only one crying. You all pretend not to notice as Canach turns away to swipe quickly at his eyes.

While the rest of the team argues over what to eat, Kas stays by your side and pulls you into another hug. You sit in comfortable silence with her until she leans over and murmurs a soft, “We love you, Commander,” in your ear.

Fresh tears well up in your eyes.

"I'm sorry!" she squeaks as everyone chides her for making you cry again. You're laughing though, laughing through the tears and smiling so, so wide.

You're going to be okay.

You're going to be okay.

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #gw2 fan submission #gw2 pof #pof spoilers #?? i mean sort of i guess #aka the commanders a HUGE CRYBABY pass it on #thaaaanks sarah for being my beta reader ur a real pal :0 #but srsly tho were both still mad about this #bc why the HECK did none of our friends seem to care when we died!! #the commanders been thru so much shit can someone give them a hug PLS #ANYWAY #if u liked reading this pls consider.... reblogging ;0 #likes are gr8 but reblogs are better!! #gotta get that exposure somehow :P #my writing