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rin-eko · 2 years

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Chapter Twenty-Nine - A child born on a stormy night will surely live an unfortunate life

Chapter Warnings/Tags: the usual blood and death, mentions of r*pe

masterpost

The dark, thundering clouds always brought misfortune. It was obvious as the child of beauty who should have been born into the palace had been born into poverty instead. On the night she was born, great, black clouds of thunder rolled through the sky followed by thrashes of lightning and a downpour that spilled over Lake Basai.

From the moment she entered the world, a curse bore down on her. Forced to live in the muddy outskirts of Capital Senin, the only occasion she ever saw light was the day she had given a most precious bundle away, her clothes still torn and bloodied as she staggered down an alley to where the golden sun shone in gaps through the darkness.

Two beautiful young women glided down the street, parasols held over their heads by peaceful maids. A large crowd of people and armored guards followed as the women chatted happily amongst themselves, bracelets and earrings glinting in the light as they gestured.

The girl had never seen noblewomen before, but when the royal family travelled from the palace to visit the might markets, she could hear the cheering and buzzing of the people as they celebrated, music thrumming to life.

What there was to celebrate, she was oblivious to. What was so mesmerizing about the rulers of the land if she had to return home everyday to a small, crowded world filled with rough hands and drunken touches.

As her hand braced to the wall at the entrance of the alley, and she squinted into the sunlight, the crowd parted further. Voices hushed as every citizen folded to genuflect before two tall young men, one with dark hair and the other with hair so stunning it could have been spun from threads of gold.

She leaned forward with wide eyes, having never seen such a person. Never a person so elegant and dignified, with straight, proud shoulders and startling blue eyes that didn’t spare a glance to the common folk. He was made up only of fine things. Draping garments of exquisite material she wanted to touch and feel, a golden earring with glinting ruby stones that reflected in her dark eyes.

But he, too, was flawed. Scars littered the sides of his mouth. She stepped forward, standing amongst the bowing people, but he did not notice her. Even then, her chest moved in a way she had never experienced before. In recognition, because he had the same eyes as her. Empty, and yet also deeply sad.

She followed them, ducking between side streets and shops as they moved through the town. It wasn’t until they were mounting into a carriage that she had to let them go. However, she watched until the royal carriage was but a glint on the hills toward the grand imperial palace, so far from her home it appeared to float in the sky.

She wanted to see more of him, ask him to take her with to see the world she had never been welcomed in, but large hands wound around her, covering her mouth and restricting her breath.

She let herself be dragged back to her small, violent world without a fight, but even as darkness closed around her, she thought of the person that held the same eyes as her, the image of that person imprinted in her mind.

…

Even in death, she was beautiful. Her blue lips and pale skin did not take away from her beauty, but rather cast her in an ethereal light. The crescent moon shone through the high window of the dungeons, casting a glimmering beam of soft light upon her still body.

She lay on her back, arms relaxed by her side. Long black eyelashes closed against her cheeks, where just the remnants of tears were visible.

The emperor stared down at her, hearing someone on the other side of the dungeons crying her name.

“Aika,” Haruchiyo whispered. Rindou was behind him, and watched quietly as his friend knelt beside the woman to touch her cheek lightly.

Her food had been poisoned with Death Hook. There was no question of who did it, as the guards outside the dungeons had let the empress dowager in during the evening, thinking nothing of it. She had left just before Aika collapsed, but Ran had gone to find Sara and detain her.

Haruchiyo wasn’t sad. He had been preparing to execute Aika himself, but he remembered a conversation the two of them had years before in the most lavish room of the capital’s finest inn.

Haruchiyo was sitting up and smoking as he watched the sky turn darker outside. Aika was lazing on her stomach beside him, the creased white sheets covering both their middles. Haruchiyo’s mind was nice and quiet, relaxed.

She suddenly said, “I want you to be the last one I see before I close my eyes for the final time.”

He stayed silent, tapping out the ash from the pipe. He thought that was fine. It didn’t particularly matter what a person saw before their death, it was likely they wouldn’t even be present enough to register something like that.

He hummed agreeably.

“I won’t die until you’re in front of me. Then, I will let go readily.”

He looked to her, finding her black eyes already watching him with affection.

“I’m not sure death is patient like that.”

She smiled lazily. “This is me we are talking about, after all. I can fight death as long as it takes for you to come be by my side.”

Haruchiyo puffed a laugh. He wouldn’t put it past her. Just that afternoon she had gotten into a fight with an elderly shopkeeper. She was always ready to defend herself, even against those who held no harm towards her.

She turned serious, sitting up to cup his impassive face.

“I’m serious, Haru. If I can’t have you by my side when I pass, then this life will not have been worth living.”

So Aika’s wish had not been fulfilled. Most likely the last person she saw or spoke to was Chikao Riz, who was helpless to do anything as the woman he cared greatly for slowly had her lifeblood drained.

Haruchiyo knew how Aika had felt back then. He wasn’t able to resonate with her determined words on that night long ago, but he had come to understand it so clearly.

Because it was how he felt about you. To see your face and hear your voice one last time. The feel of your skin against his own, your hearts beating together, perhaps then he would be able to peacefully pass onto the next life.

“To forgive you is not possible, but I must thank you for the reprieve you gave me,” he murmured. His fingers left her cheek and he stood, casting a glance down her stomach. It didn’t need to be said, the baby she was carrying would not make it.

He turned to Rindou, and caught sight of Chikao’s devastated face as he desperately clutched the bars separating him from Aika.

He didn’t think before he spoke. “Release him.”

Rindou, “Haru?”

“Let him see her before her body is taken away.”

The guard stationed went to obey his command, and as soon as the rusted metal was unlocked, Chikao flung it open, almost stumbling to the floor before righting himself and running straight to Aika. Haruchiyo only looked once at Chikao’s sobbing form as he held Aika’s lifeless body to his chest before turning and leaving.

Ran met them at the entrance of the prison. It was still dark out, but Haruchiyo could see the heir to Toku clearly.

“Sara is being held in her old court. Are you seeing her now?”

He was tired, but he still nodded. “Yes, let’s go.”

He hadn’t stepped foot in his mother’s old court since he was a child. It looked like no one had, because the flowerbeds were dry and filled with weeds, and there was a certain stagnant way about the air that was stifling.

Two guards stood straight outside the dark purple wood doors leading insider Sara’s private room, but they immediately moved to the side as soon as they caught sight of their emperor approaching, bowing their heads once.

Haruchiyo’s eyes swept over the room, halting on Sara who sat on the floor, hunched over the bed at the right of the room.

The air inside was motionless, the drapes over the wooden bedframe looking as if they hadn’t been changed since Sara moved out. In the spaces where the flooring had been ripped away, tiny green plants grew, even some fungi sprouting through the damp wood.

Sara’s face immediately lifted from the bed when Haruchiyo took a step inside, her entire expression lighting up as clambered to a stand.

“Haruchiyo,” she smiled. “Why have I been brought here?”

He was quiet for a while before speaking. “Tofee is leaving for Kalla tomorrow. You will go with her. You will not return to the imperial capital until Tofee thinks you are sound enough to do so.”

A small furrow formed between her brows. “What? I don’t understand.”

Haruchiyo remained impassive, calmly watching as Sara stumbled closer. Her beige and green robes were a mess, creased and falling from her shoulder. Her hair, too, was dishevelled, amber eyes flitting from Haruchiyo around the room and back to him.

His voice was even as he spoke. “I have known for a while you orchestrated the poison on the day of prayer.” Her face paled, the hands wringing in front of her suddenly stopping.

He spoke again. “There is no need to deny it. We also have a confession from Yuuto Kamimura. Your mother and the empress think that you need to heal away from the imperial palace, and only for that reason am I letting you live. Aside from attempting to harm the empress, you have also murdered Aika, who carried a child.”

Sara’s eyes widened. “Yes, I will gladly admit to that but you can’t possibly punish me. You can’t, Haruchiyo! She is a common woman. I was trying to protect your future. No one will think anything of it.”

He shut his eyes, turning his head to the side. “You will leave the palace. You should be grateful that the empress even convinced me to allow you to live.”

“What empress?” Haruchiyo’s gaze snapped back to her when she laughed lightly. “The empress will not wake up, Haruchiyo. She has been asleep for too long to wake up now, don’t you understand? It is fine, though,” she quietened. “I will gladly help you rule.”

“The empress is awake. She has been awake for days,” Haruchiyo gnashed. “I have kept her from you in case you tried to harm her again but now that you have been contained you may as well know that whatever harm you wished upon her will not be true. She is awake and will take her place by my side as soon as she has recovered.”

He had never seen somebody who wasn’t dead go pale so quickly. Sara looked ghoulish, her eyes wide and deeply empty, her limp arms hanging by her side. She swayed lightly, shiny strands of black hair falling over her face before her gaze fixed on Haruchiyo.

“What… what did you say?”

He didn’t speak as she came closer. Close enough to touch him. He towered over her, looking incredibly regal in the face of the small, unkempt woman.

“How can she be awake? It is not meant to be this way. I am meant to be by your side, Haruchiyo,” she reached out and really did touch him then. He went utterly still as she stroked over the scars by his mouth, smoothly caressing the healed skin.

“I even marked you as mine,” she murmured so quietly he barely caught it. She straightened and met his eyes, this time reaching to feel his hair.

“I never wanted you to look like Kin. I had hoped you would be like Takeomi and take after me since babies favour dark hair, but it was not so.”

She stepped back determinedly. “I will not go to Kalla, Haruchiyo. I am meant to be here for whenever my children need me. I will be by your side to watch you be emperor.”

He turned away. “You do not have a choice. I do not care if you have to be dragged out, you will not exist in the same place as the empress.”

He paused, looking over his shoulder as a faint smile traced his lips. “Did you know… I was really going to allow you into my life again. That day… I wanted your advice. I felt sad that we had separated so far.”

“I know!” she burst, coming forward again. “I knew you were ready. That is why I did what I did. I have waited for so long for you to let me be your mother again. I knew it would be time when your anger abated and you spoke to me civilly. Only then, could I make it so no one interfered and we could all live peacefully together. I was so happy,” she touched her cheek, eyes falling shut.

“You clearly don’t understand,” Haruchiyo snapped. “The only reason I was ready to forgive you was because of Y/n. Had she not pleaded your case, I would spend the rest of my days hating you. And yet, you decided to hurt her because of your unhealthy attachments. I can’t stand to even look at you.” Maybe one day there would be a time where he could be in the same room as her and not feel the urge to scratch the scars on his face until they were bloodied once more- if he looked deeply into himself he could admit he wanted that- but for now his hands twitched by his sides as anger simmered in him like a pot ready to boil over.

“Haruchiyo, you can still forgive me. I would do anything for you,” she pleaded, quickly taking his hand. He stared down at her.

“You were always going to kill Kin. That is why you didn’t care about the accident at the banquet. It was merely the wrong victim. Were the tears you shed for him also fake?”

Sara’s gaze surprisingly softened. “No, of course not. You are right, I was always going to have Kin die, but I loved him in a way- we were married for a long time, after all- it’s just my hatred for him went far deeper. I don’t expect a man to understand a woman’s thoughts.”

“And yet after murdering the emperor, you still expect to not be punished?” Haruchiyo gripped her hand, firmly moving away. “I’ve heard enough. Do not bother anyone until you leave tomorrow. That is all.”

…

“Saeya, Saeya Saeya,” you called, watching her hop from one steppingstone to another, the stream occasionally lapping onto the rock and splashing cool water on her feet. “Don’t slip. Come here.”

The whimsical girl had fully recovered, her cheeks with a healthy flush as she energetically played in the gardens. You sat under a pavilion, closing your eyes against the breeze as you enjoyed fresh air for the first time in what felt like forever.

You quietly thought about everything Haruchiyo had told you when he returned to your room in the early hours of the morning. Everything Sara had said.

On that day of prayers, Sara had really meant to kill you with the intention of killing Kin at a later time. She felt that this way she could leave peacefully with her children in a way she had never been able to before. It would have been easy for her to claim someone had assassinated the emperor while they were asleep. No one would have though the seemingly in love couple actually had cracks in their relationship.

You took an energy pill Tofee had given you out from your sleeve, chewing it in thought. You didn’t think Sara had an evil plan or an elaborate plot. You didn’t think she enjoyed harming others, but she was in pain. Her mind had become clouded with the need to have her estranged children close to her after having them taken away when they were so little.

“Are you unwell?” You focused to find Saeya’s adorable head tilted with concern in front of you.

You smiled, patting her crown. “No, I was just thinking.”

“Look!” she opened her cupped palms, giving way for a bright blue butterfly to fly out. It landed on the shoulder of your pale-yellow robe before flitting away until you couldn’t see it anymore.

“Sit here. Let me talk to you,” you took Saeya’s hand, holding it tightly as she sat beside you. She smiled at you happily, which you were grateful for because your heart was twisting anxiously in your chest.

“Saeya, are you happy here? Living here with me? I know it is big and difficult to get used to, but I hope you are not too sad without seeing mother and father everyday.”

She tilted her head, curiously asking. “Why is sister suddenly asking me this? Should you not have asked me before we left Baye?”

You shut your eyes, a pinch of shame in your gut.

“Yes, I know. That is why I am concerned. I don’t seem to remember asking you whether you were okay with suddenly moving. This older sister of yours may not be so smart.”

It wasn’t often you saw your sister sad, but just then her shoulder slumped as she looked forward in thought.

You sighed. “Even- Even if you wish to go see mother, I will never stop you, Saeya. I will even go with you. I could not stand to see you hurt anymore, so I just took you away without considering your feelings. I am truly sorry.”

“I do miss her,” Saeya said quietly. “It wasn’t often, but sometimes she would brush my hair or go on a picnic with me.”

You nodded, pressing your lips together. Your hand tightened in Saeya’s grasp.

“But,” she added. “When I was with mother and sister was living here, I missed you even more. It was very lonely, and it made me think that you have been my sister and my mother in a lot of ways. More of a mother than she ever has been. That is why I want to live here. I get to see you every day.” She grinned. “It makes me so happy.”

The knot in your stomach immediately released as you let out a sigh of relief. You hugged her to you, stroking her hair, your eyes suspiciously wet.

“Are you sure?”

You felt her hands on your back. “Yes!”

You held her tighter, eyes catching on a figure approaching over her shoulder. You frowned at the unfamiliar man, pulling away from Saeya to observe him. He was at a certain distance, so his face was indistinguishable, but as he approached you realised that half his face was horribly scarred, the skin fleshy and raw, creating a strange pattern all the way down his neck.

“Saeya, will you go fetch Kia?” you faced her, smiling.

“Sure.” You watched her go, disappearing through one of the circular entrances to the garden before standing to face the man.

You tilted your head. He was familiar and yet… not. However, as he came closer and closer you finally realised where you knew him from.

“You… were there on the day of prayer. We met outside the orphanage.”

He stopped across from you, smiling gently. He bowed. “Empress, forgive me for not introducing myself sooner. I am Chikao Riz.”

You inhaled sharply, suddenly remembering where you had seen him before. He had been with Aika that first time you met her in the orphanage, just standing behind her quietly.

Haruchiyo had filled you in on who Chikao Riz was, but never had you thought it would be the young, handsome man selling candies with a warm smile. For some reason, you had thought he would match Aika’s biting personality.

Your eyes ran over the half of his face that was flayed, frowning deeply over what your husband had done to the innocent man. You were at a loss as to what to say. Finally, what blurted out was,

“I’m sorry!”

He paused, eyes finding yours. The kind smile never left his lips. “For what, empress? You have done nothing wrong. In fact, I have come to find you before I leave so I can apologise. I have put you through much.”

“I… huh?”

“Should we sit?”

“Yes,” you nodded. He sat across from you, placing his palms on the stone tabletop. His eyes lowered.

“Aika… has passed.”

“Yes, I know. I’m sorry. I hear you cared greatly for her.”

“Yes,” he smiled weakly. “I have loved her since we were children.”

“I’m very sorry.”

“It is not your fault, empress. I think it may have always been destined to end this way. But, I am not here to talk about that, bur rather the child she carried.”

Your head tilted.

He breathed out. “That child… I am not sure whose it was. The truth is it could have been Emperor Haruchiyo’s or mine.”

You leaned back a touch, frowning. “What do you mean?”

“Aika began panicking when she saw the emperor was falling in love with you. He refused to touch her. At that time, she was still taking a contraceptive tonic. They are not always reliable, which is why I say the baby could have been the emperors. However, it is likely that it was mine. She stopped taking the medicine and we went to bed together. She got pregnant and later claimed the baby was Emperor Haruchiyo’s child. The instances were close enough it could have been passed off as his.”

“What?” you breathed, feeling light-headed. “Did you know she could be lying?”

He looked down, ashamed. “Yes, I knew. But I… I felt so lucky that first time she kissed me. It was everything I had wanted for so long. Even if she called another man’s name when we made love, it was fine. I would have done anything for her so long as she was happy. And the emperor truly made her happy. So, when she told me she planned to pass the baby off as his, I thought it was fine. Even if she wasn’t mine, she’s lived such a hard life I just wanted to see her happy. I have never wished any harm upon you, empress. It’s just, how do I say it… as much as love is a thing of beauty, it is just as much a disease.”

You could scarcely breathe, the knot untied by your conversation with Saeya suddenly constricting once more.

“O-oh,” was what you managed to get out.

His face tightened. “I am truly sorry, empress, for the suffering I have caused you by my own selfish wants. I am willing to receive any punishment.”

You peered at his face. It seemed he had been punished enough, especially considering he had been tortured over something that was not his fault in the end.

“I am staying in the palace for a little while longer to organise Aika’s belonging and collect my own, so if you need any more answers, you can call for me.”

You stayed silent, and after a long moment, he slowly got up and left. You stayed sitting down for a few more minutes, tracing the cracks in the stone table over and over until you got dizzy and averted your gaze to the quiet gardens. There wasn’t another soul present, only two big blue butterflies flapping about between the water plants.

You stood, walking on the soft grass instead of the stone pavement. You were going to move back to your marriage room. Now that Sara was leaving the palace, it was time to leave the room where you had rested while you were injured.

You wondered whether you should visit Sara one last time before she left. Though you doubted she would want to see you, you could not deny there had been many times she had helped you and made you comfortable while Haruchiyo had humiliated and hurt you. You would miss her.

As if it would make your thoughts clearer, you rubbed the middle of your forehead, slowly opening the door to your room with the other hand.

You came to a stop. Your hand dropped.

The older woman turned away from the window, fixing a stare on you. There was no animosity, she rather looked like she was contemplating with her arms folded, one hand touching her chin in thought.

“The empress is finally here.”

“Sara… do you need something?” you stayed by the doorway, working your throat to speak calmly.

She looked to the side at the bed she had last seen you laid in.

“I thought perhaps Haruchiyo was lying when he said you had awoken.”

“Aren’t you meant to be confined until you leave for Kalla. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you. I look at you and think perhaps if I kill you, Haruchiyo will allow me to stay next to him, even if it is not as empress.”

You shook your head. “We both know that will not work well for you. If you harm me, Haruchiyo will hate you even more than he does now.”

“I am his mother. He would forgive me.” She did not sound certain or uncertain, but rather as if just saying the words may make them appear true.

“Even time will not have him forgive you.” You wondered if she realised you were the only reason Haruchiyo was letting her live in the first place. You didn’t say that, as to not antagonise her further, but still a malicious frown formed at the bridge of her nose.

She looked startingly like Haruchiyo, then. It was the first time you thought them similar, but the expression she wore was so similar to your husband’s aggrieved look all you could so was stare blankly.

“You have harmed others,” you said softly. “Your husband and my sister.”

The wrinkle across her nose became more prominent, sharp brows furrowed. Her pupils contracted.

“So what?” she burst, furious. “So what if I harmed my husband? Why am I expected to love him unconditionally? Why must I forgive him? Tell me, empress, why must I forgive the man who raped me? The same man who refused to defy his father and let me have my children…”

Your lips parted, though you had no answer for her.

You had been witness to Sara’s pain many times. Her life with Emperor Kin hadn’t been easy. To be forced to go to bed with a man and bear his children, only to have them ripped from your arms by noblemen when they deemed the child grown enough to learn the ways of men was a miserable, cruel fate.

And yet, so it had been since the rise of the Akashi dynasty. Even when women slit their wrists and wailed for their lost children, they were not given back. Not until they were fully grown men and the relationship had long fractured. Sara couldn’t have been the first woman to break.

“I don’t know,” you whispered.

A tear slid down her cheek. “I have been stripped and humiliated. I have been used every day. All I could do was find ways to survive in this place. Why do I have to live this way? I just want to be their mother. But now we are going to be separated again.”

How trapped had she felt? That she thought this was the only thing she could do…

“You will be able to see Haruchiyo and your other children again. This goodbye is not forever,” you said softly, padding closer to her. “It’s just for a little while.”

She was staring down. You could see her tears pitting to the floor. “Did you know…” she started. “I begged him to forbid Takeomi from fighting in the war. I couldn’t stand the thought of it. But men are not born with empathy like women. It is not engraved into them everyday. So,” she sobbed, a palm going to cover her mouth as her eyes trembled. “…that boy died thinking his mother didn’t care for him.”

“Forgive me, empress,” she looked up at you and your entire soul trembled for the emotion in her deep, drowning eyes. “I thought I had the right to hate my husband. If not for that, then for allowing other lords to touch me. The same lords I had to sit and eat across from. And if not for that, then for raping me countless times when we married. When I sleep, I can still feel a dozen hands pulling me apart. I wish…” she was crying so loudly you could barely hear her words and it took you a moment to realise you were also crying. Your eyes were wide with horror, overfilling with tears.

“…that I could separate my mind and my body. Then, I would be able to just give them what they want and I could live peacefully without my sanity being compromised.”

Before you knew it, you were reaching for her. Holding her face into your shoulder, holding her trembling body in your arms. But her knees had given out, and she was too heavy for you to hold up with your injuries, so you both collapsed to the floor in a heap and she continued to scream painfully into your shoulder.

She stuttered. “…And if I can’t hate him for that, then I will hate him for impregnating me over and over only to have my sons taken away over and over. I just want my children back. After a while I even forgot what some of them looked like, but I wanted to watch them grow up more than anything. A-And Haruchiyo…” she sobbed. Her tears dripped onto your collarbones while yours dripped onto her hair.

“Haruchiyo is not a child anymore,” you stroked her hair. “He has already grown up. I’m sorry those days will never be recovered, but I don’t think it’s too late. Once you have both healed apart, you will be able to see each other again. I promise, Sara. I know he wants to repair your relationship.”

“I want to be with all of them,” she shook, clutching the front of your robes as she implored with you desperately. “Every single one that was taken away, but some don’t even recognise me as their mother.”

“I’m sorry.” It seemed to be all you could say. No words could possibly fix everything she had been through.

Right then, the door slammed open, rattling against its frame to reveal a panting Haruchiyo, blue eyes darkened with terror.

He breathed heavily, taking in the sight before him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he roared. Before you could utter a word he stomped over and grabbed the back of Sara’s clothes, casting her aside. She coughed, weak arms slowly pushing herself up. Her lip was bleeding, but before you could go to her Haruchiyo’s face was in front of yours, his hands running down your sides to check for injuries.

“Are you okay? Where are you hurt? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. The guards did not notice she snuck out. I’ll behead them all.”

“Haruchiyo, stop, I’m fine,” you pushed his hands away.

“You’re crying. What did she do?” he sent a venomous glare to his mother. “I didn’t think it needed to be said that you were on your last chance. You deserve to die. Nobu!”

Sara’s hand had initially been reaching out, as if to touch her son’s back, but upon receiving such a hateful glare, she shrunk back, holding her hand to your chest.

You crawled toward her while Haruchiyo was distracted receiving his sword from Nobu.

“What are you doing? Move,” Haruchiyo ordered. You knelt in front of Sara protectively, your arms spread wide to shield her.

“Haruchiyo, wait,” you pleaded. “You must listen to her.”

He loomed above both of you, the silver sword glinting in his firm grip. His jaw tightened, threads of blonde hair falling over his face amidst the panic.

“I’ve heard all she has to say. I’m sick of looking at her. Move. Now.”

“No!” you cried. “She was not going to hurt me!”

“What do you know?” he screamed. Then quieter, with a deadly lilt, “hold her back.” You thought for a moment he meant Sara, but realised you were wrong as soon as two guards took hold of your arms, easily carrying you away even while you kicked and scratched at their arms.

“Stop!” you screamed as you watched your husband step closer to the trembling woman on the ground. He stared down at her blankly, as if she were a mere bug that needed to be crushed as opposed to the woman who gave him life.

“Haruchiyo, stop! Please. Please, please, stop,” your voice went hoarse, a steady flow of tears running down your face.

He raised his arm, and Sara did not try to defend herself. She knelt still, her head lowered as she awaited her death.

In a moment of weakness, you were able to free yourself of one guard, quickly using the other’s surprise to kick away just as the blade swung down. You scrambled forward with the hope he would halt when he saw you, but it was too late.

Everything slowed before your eyes. You could see the blade glinting with light as it came down. Haruchiyo’s eyes widening as they met yours.

The slow tear of the fabric across your torso. The sword was so sharp you could barely feel it when the tip sliced through your skin, blossoms of blood blooming over your chest.

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#sanzu x reader #haruchiyo sanzu x reader #haruchiyo akashi x reader #tokyo revengers series #bonten x reader #haruchiyo sanzu series #haruchiyo akashi series #sanzu series #rins.works

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fubukinorris · 1 year

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✎ summary: In an era where it's uncommon for women to wear pants, how will small-town seamstress (l/n) (y/n) realize her dream of designing pants for women?

✎ genre: fluff, angst, small comedy, slightly suggestive

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🕊❥ Episode Airing

🕊◛ Season 1

Season 1, Episode 1: Gifted Hands

Season 1, Episode 2: The Visionary

Season 1, Episode 3: The Encounter

Season 1, Episode 4: The Other Me

Season 1, Episode 5: Final Promise

Season 1, Episode 6: Farewell Yesterday

Season 1, Episode 7: Mismatched Life

Season 1, Episode 8: The Real Akane

Season 1, Episode 9: Piercing Light

Season 1, Episode 10: When the Wind Rises

Season 1, Episode 11: Prideful Heart

Season 1, Episode 12: A Beautiful Day

Season 1, Episode 13: A Warm Day

Season 1, Episode 14: Romantic Valentine

🕊◛ Season 2

Season 2, Episode 15: Identity Crisis

Season 2, Episode 16: Crisis Returns

Season 2, Episode 17: Unchanging Heart

Season 2, Episode 18: Nothing to Fear

Season 2, Episode 19: A New Beginning

Season 2, Episode 20: Always Together

Season 2, Episode 21: Who is Mr. H?

Season 2, Episode 22: Sisters

Season 2, Episode 23: Trendy Times

Season 2, Episode 24: Brave the Storm

Season 2, Episode 25: Where the Heart Lies

Season 2, Episode 26: Match Made in Heaven

Season 2, Episode 27: La Dame aux Camelias

Season 2, Episode 28: Wheel of Fortune

Season 2, Episode 29: Bright Future

Season 2, Episode 30: I Still Believe

Season 2, Episode 31: A Day to Remember

Season 2, Episode 32: Before the Storm

Season 2, Episode 33: The Storm

Season 2: Episode 34: Truth Unraveled

Season 2, Episode 35: Next Stop

author’s note: this was inspired by @rintarhue's work, "Tales of Love"! this is also taken from the game Time Princess, which has a lot of stories and clothes you can discover!

taglist is open! just reblog if you want to join!

#norrisworks #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev x you #tokyo revengers series #alternate universe #mitsuya takashi #mitsuya x reader #kokonoi hajime #kokonoi x reader #sano emma #emma x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers angst #fluff #angst

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firstdivisiongirl · 1 month

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Love Story Poll

#first division girl #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers poll #tokyo revengers love story #Tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers series #division meeting #tokyo manji revengers #hinata tachibana #tachibana hinata #takemitchy #kokonoi hajime #takemitchi Hanagaki #hajime kokonoi #akane inui #inui akane #peh #peh yan

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matsur1 · 2 years

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#SanzuWeek2022 on twt!!

[Day 1] Chapter 1: New Friends

[Day 2] Chapter 2: Life Choices

[Day 3] Chapter 3: Little Haru

[Day 4] Chapter 4: No Fashion Sense?

[Day 5] Chapter 5: Eavesdropping

[Day 6] Chapter 6: You spin my head right round right round~

[Day 7] Chapter 7: Birthday Gift

Fin.

#sanzu haruchiyo #akashi haruchiyo #haruchiyo akashi #haruchiyo sanzu #sanzu #bonten sanzu #toman sanzu #tenjiku sanzu #kmg sanzu #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers series

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shinigamiplayroom · 2 years

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18 + / MDNI | tokyorev x oc/reader

summary: after losing the man you loved to a gunshot you find yourself pulling away from everyone. Mitsuya, the one friend you thought would be there for you like he was when you were growing up together, hasn’t been seen or heard from since his best friend’s funeral. But through your attempts to reconnect with him, Hanma (someone you’ve seen as an enemy in the past and possibly still do) has been willing to serve as a distraction from the grief and loneliness you’ve allowed to consume you.

a/n: I started this after reading ch. 224 of tr. if you’re not caught up to that point there is a major character death and this story is centered around it. 😔 I wrote this with an OC (Saori) but it’s mostly written in x reader format. Not all chapters are nsfw but they’re definitely in there 😮‍💨. I don’t have a schedule for posting chapters but I will be posting them semi regularly. 💜

🌕 ~ sfw 🌖~ angst 🌘 ~ nsfw

Ch 1: Grief 🌕🌖

Ch 2: Unlikely Bonds 🌕🌖

Ch 3: The Devil You Know 🌕

Ch 4: Corrupt Distractions 🌘

#mdni #wfr series #tokyo revengers fic #tokyo revengers fanfiction #tokyo revengers angst #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers series #hanma shuji fic #hanma shuji x reader #mitsuya takashi angst #mitsuya takashi x reader #tokyo revengers x oc #tokyometronetwork #.downtown roponggi #Mitsuya takashi fic #tokyorev series

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usagiiboo · 2 years

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I WANNA DO A SERIES BUT IDK WHAT YET

Yandere! X Mitsuya (smau)

Slasher x reader x various (smau + murder mystery)

ORRR

Lawyer x father!Ran (smau)

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #tokyorev headcanons #tokyo revengers series #if you don't help #youre racist #💕💕

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friedbroth · 2 years

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SOMEONE

HELP

I FORGOT THE NAME OF THAT ONE AU IN WHICH IT TOOK PLACE BACK IN THE MIDDLE AGES, THE READER IS A PRINCESS AND HER OLDER SIBLINGS, THE PRINCE MANJIRO OR SHINICHIRO (LMAO I FORGOR MAYBE ITS THE BOTH OF THEM) ORDERED FOR SANZU TO BECOME THE PRINCESS'S BODYGUARD.

BEEN SCROLLING THROUGH MY LIKES THE PAST HOUR MY SANITY IS GOING LOW

If anyone knows pray tell, i beg of you.

#Tokyo revengers series #tokyo revengers #HELP

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haitaniapologist · 2 years

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KEEPING UP WITH THE AKASHIS.

SYNOPSIS — your life through the years as akashi takeomi’s girlfriend and the older sister figure of his siblings, senju and haruchiyo.

PAIRINGS — akashi takeomi x female!reader.

GENRE — slice of life au, canon divergent but with canon events, overall fluff

CONTENT — everyday life, spoilers of the tokyo revengers manga, fluff, angst (each episode will have its own warning), the episodes won't be in chronological order (besides the first one lmao)

the series will be published twice a month, on the first and third week, on fridays, at 5pm gmt-3, starting in july !!!

— JOIN THE TAGLIST.

a kiss to @1900-aria ilysm !!!

episode one: the meeting.

episode two: the pancake incident.

episode three: the first night staying in.

episode four: the soap incident.

episode five: the first fight.

episode six: the boyfriend.

episode seven: the first nightmare.

more to come !!!! currently accepting ideas/requests for stories.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #akashi takeomi #akashi takeomi x reader #sanzu haruchiyo #akashi haruchiyo #akashi senju #kawaragi senju #tokrev x reader #tokyo revengers series #also reblogs are appreciated to spread the word !!!

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rin-eko · 2 years

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Epilogue

masterpost

The soft spring breeze blew through the windows of the orphanage, carrying the scent of jasmine and hot foods from the marketplace.

The whole city was bustling. You had never seen it so crowded when it wasn’t festival time, but with the first day of spring came a new wave of merchants, drawing hordes of people to the square. Mei had gone out with some of the children for lunch, leaving the shelter quiet. Perfect for the resting baby in your arms.

You tucked her closer as the breeze blew stronger and her little nose twitched before familiar blue eyes blinked open tiredly.

“Hello darling,” you cooed. “Did you sleep well?” You wiped where a bit of drool had slipped from her mouth. She gave you a toothless smile in return, fisting the hair that had fallen around your face.

You looked up when footsteps came rushing in, Tik coming to a stop in front of where you knelt. He had grown taller again and refused to cut the hair that fell into his eyes.

“Where are you rushing off to?” you asked, automatically lulling the baby in your arms. She took your finger in both tiny hands, chewing on it.

You couldn’t tell whether the flush on the young boy’s cheeks was from running in the sun or something else.

“I’ve been pulling the weeds out of the garden of the old lady’s shop next door for some change and I finally saved up enough,” he grinned proudly.

Your curiosity was peaked at seeing him hide something behind his back. “Let’s see. What did you buy?”

“Okay, but you can tell me if you don’t like it. My feelings won’t be hurt and I can get you something else once I save more,” he ranted.

“It’s for me?” you questioned, surprised. “I’m sure I’ll love it, then.”

He blushed harder, quickly pulling out a thin bracelet with small pink beads on it.

“D-Do you like it?”

“Yes. Will you put it on for me?” you held your wrist out and he nodded quickly, kneeling to clasp it around your wrist.

Though clearly made of cheap wire already beginning to discolour, it was small and dainty and he obviously went to much effort to save enough loose change for it.

“Thank you. It’s lovely.”

“When I grow up I’ll get you something even better. I was thinking…” he shuffled his feet nervously. “Maybe if you wanna we can get married when I’m older? I’ll be a way better husband than the emperor! I know it!”

You muffled your giggles behind the back of your hand. Tik and Haruchiyo seemed to have some longstanding conflict you weren’t sure where stemmed from.

“Hey! Get off me!”

You opened your eyes to see Tik protesting as your husband gripped the collar of his shirt and dragged him back.

“Why is it whenever I see you you’re trying to steal my wife?”

Tik flailed in the older man’s grip. “Let go! Miss YN and I are gonna get married and she’s gonna forget all about you!” He stuck his tongue out.

Haruchiyo raised an unimpressed brow. “Is that so?”

“Yes!”

“Hmm, well if you were a proper man, you would challenge me with your blade and the winner will be granted the lady’s hand. Nobu, bring my sword.”

The man appeared a second later, kneeling with his arms raised, Haruchiyo’s elegant sword in his hands.

Haruchiyo took it and unsheathed it, swinging it once before looking to the young boy.

“Well? Where is yours?”

Tik’s shoulder slumped. “But I don’t have a proper sword yet. Only a wooden one.”

“How can a man already ask for a wife when he has not yet mastered the sword? How will you be worthy of her? How will you protect her?”

Clearly disheartened, you were about to reassure Tik when he suddenly perked up.

“Just you wait! I’m gonna practice so hard and beat you one day so I can marry Miss YN! You’ll see!” he yelled, pointing at Haruchiyo before sprinting off, probably to find his wooden sword to practice with.

You looked to your husband, unimpressed. “Was that necessary?”

“Of course, he needs to know his place.” He gave the sword back to Nobu and you watched the man disappear once more.

“I don’t recall you ever winning any swordsmanship competitions for me,” you teased.

“Of course not. You were given to me because I don’t need to prove my worth. Everyone already knows I am the most divine being in all the land.”

“Modest, too.”

He waved you off, taking a seat behind you. He held your shoulders, gently pulling you back against his front before brushing a hand over the baby’s soft forehead.

“And this one? Is she behaving?”

“She hasn’t cried at all. Emma,” you cooed. “You are so well behaved. You can cry if you want to.”

She just made some unintelligible happy noises in response. You shifted her from your arms to sit on your lap, holding her hands for balance. She reached up to play with the gold clasp attached to the shell of your ear as you turned to speak to Haruchiyo.

“How was the council meeting?”

He gave you a look that said it went about as well as he thought it would. “Of course the old lords protested on having new members join the council, but what can they do? There is a new emperor. Their generation is getting old and so are their beliefs.”

He said it with such confidence, but you worried over the change. At best the lords would retaliate pettily, but even you knew that men who had been born into their position could think themselves invincible and ignite a civil war.

“When do I meet the new members of council? What are their names?” You had yet to attend a meeting with everything that happened, but you and Rindou had been casually speaking of new aid initiatives to be implemented on the outskirts of the capital.

“Along with Ran and Rindou, there is war veteran Kanji Mochizuki and General Kakuchou Hitto, as well as Hajime Kokonoi.”

“Hajime Kokonoi? He is the first son of a noble family, isn’t he?”

“Yes. Though his father is not a High Lord, they are one of the richest families in Senin through trade and various other businesses.”

You observed your husband’s face. He had slipped so seamlessly into his new position as if he had been preparing for it his whole life.

“Has there been any news from Senju?” you questioned. You had written to her regarding the situation with her mother and she and Manjiro had travelled to Senin, placing little Emma in your care before moving on to Kalla to visit Sara.

The former empress had been placed in Tofee’s carriage as she slept deeply. Her brows were twitching and frowning as she slept, but when her head rested upon Tofee’s lap and the older woman began pouring soothing energy into her temples, she quickly quietened. Asami and Bashira wanted to be with their mother, and they were familiar with Kalla Mist Mountains, so Tofee gave in to their pleading and allowed them to also go on the journey. You thought it was a good thing, as Sara would certainly miss them terribly when she awoke.

He stroked the top of your head. “No, but they’ll be coming back to the capital anyw-” he paused, staring blankly over the top of your head. Frowning, you turned to the doorway to see someone unexpected.

“Master Chikao,” you handed the baby to Haruchiyo before standing. He smiled warmly, bowing.

“Empress, your majesty. This humble servant of Senin greets you.” He stared around the orphanage. “This place has certainly begun to thrive under your care. Do you know where Miss Mei is?”

Your frown deepened. You felt Haruchiyo at your side, his arms occupied by Emma, who seemed transfixed by his hair as she played with the pearls sewn through it.

“She is out with some of the children, but I can help you.” Just as you finished speaking, a familiar head of dark brown hair came rushing past you, the little girl’s feet tapping along the wooden floor before coming to a stop right in front of Chikao.

“Mister, you’re back! Do you have candy again?”

He crouched in front of her, opening his palms to reveal little candies wrapped in paper. “Here you go.”

Cherry squealed, going to take them before noticing his face.

“Oh no! You’re hurt! Mister, what happened to your face? It is not handsome anymore.”

Chikao’s eyes flickered to Haruchiyo, even though the emperor clearly didn’t care.

“Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt. Why don’t you go share these with your friends? After that, I have something very important to talk about with you.”

She grinned as he patted her head. “Okay!”

You watched her run off and then looked back to Chikao, stepping closer. “I didn’t know you have visited before.”

He nodded, still smiling. “Many times over the years. In fact, I was the one who delivered Cherry here five years ago when she was born.”

You didn’t expect that at all, and were even more shocked when he said,

“She is Aika’s child.”

You gaped.

Chikao sighed. “Aika wanted to get rid of the pregnancy as soon as she found out, but knowing there is such a huge risk to a woman’s life during the abortion process, I convinced her not to. When she gave birth she didn’t look at the baby, just handed her to me and told me to take her somewhere else. Aika told me many times not to visit the child, but I couldn’t help myself. I visit Cherry occasionally and am always surprised by how much she has changed to look like her mother.”

Your head swung to Haruchiyo, who was finally paying attention to the conversation. He shook his head as if to answer your thoughts. He didn’t know.

Your head swivelled back to Chikao, hesitantly asking,

“Is… she your child?”

He looked sad hearing that question. “No. Aika did not live a happy life. As a child, she spoke of wanting greater things, but she was always surrounded by terrible people- the type of people young girls should never have to live with.”

You knew what he was saying without him having to say it. You had thought about Aika many times since her death. Mostly about her child, truthfully. How even though it was most likely Chikao’s, you’d never truly know if it wasn’t Haruchiyo’s.

But you hadn’t thought deeply about the life she had lived. You would also never be able to truly know everything she had been through.

“I want to adopt Cherry.”

You looked up.

“Because even if she is not mine, I want to show her the love of parents she has never had. I will admit that part of the reason is because I am so selfishly happy that there is still a part of Aika in the world. But, truly, I want to raise her so she is happy and has everything her mother never did.”

“I have not seen you since that time in the palace gardens,” you said softly. “We will have to talk to Cherry and see what she wants, but if you are going to adopt a child, I think the crown should at least compensate you for what you have been through, so you at least have extra money to raise her.”

You had tried talking to Haruchiyo about compensating Chikao for his undue injuries, but your husband had simply said that even if he was tortured for something he didn’t do, Chikao had still been dishonest and deceitful, and so you should simply leave it at that.

Chikao waved his hands in rejection. “Thank you, empress, but even though I grew up in poverty and my family runs a simple candy shop, I do not lack for money as a doctor, especially in the area I grew up where people often get sick.”

You smiled. “Okay, then. If you are sure, we will make plans.”

…

It rained that night. Haruchiyo knew you liked to watch it, so he left the curtains and window open for you to view the light sprinkling. Drops tapped onto your balcony from the awning, your skin immune to the chilly wind as your husband slung an arm around your waist. He was bare-chested, though he still adorned comfortable white pants.

He lay next to you, and every time he shifted more silky blonde tresses spilled off the side of the bed.

You lay against his chest, taking a strand in your fingers.

“I barely notice since I see you every day, but your hair grows very quickly.”

He hummed.

“How often do you cut it?”

“I have not had it cut since Takeomi died.”

You were curious. “Why?”

“I’m not sure, but it can be bothersome. Should I cut it?”

“No!” you blurted.

He grinned. “I was just teasing, I know how much you love it.”

You examined a strand. “It’s very healthy, but I think I would be okay with just a few inches off the bottom.”

He kissed your forehead. “Okay.”

You wanted that warmth forever. To be perpetually basking in the gift of love. You felt everything you had only ever been too scared to wish for. There was no empty space within you. Every day, you felt so full. So completely grateful to be alive at the same time as him.

You could press your ear to his chest and hear his heart swimming. A steady, alive thump thump thump as you lay between his legs. His knee propped up, elbow resting on it as one hand held a document he was reading and the other gently stroked the back of your head. It was bliss. Resting on him, feeling him breathe beneath you.

You could feel it, as if it were a tangible thing in the air. Breathless as you watched him take command over the council, blushing when he met your eyes as he spoke, tilting his head at you in amusement because he knew you were feeling shy. How could you not when he took charge of so many powerful men so fully? His word was absolute. They obeyed him as their true ruler, and every night you were the one who shared a bed with him.

It slid from his fingers, sinking into your skin. Reaching every part of you when you made love and he murmured, You’re so beautiful. Look at you. I want to stay like this forever. With the rain pattering on the palace roof.

When you saw his vulnerabilities and exhaustion. He would naturally lay his head to your lap after a sleepless night of work for Senin. Your fingers would find his hair, and you’d hum softly as he finally found rest.

Even in his gaze, when you knew he was staring at you when you were in the same room. You could feel it. In distance, sadness, loss and happiness, there wasn’t a moment you doubted it.

His beauty. His childishness and responsibility. His practiced cruelty and fumbling kindness. You loved every part of the son of heaven. With a fierce passion, and a calm, quiet adoration.

…

He loved looking at you like this. Moments where you weren’t aware of his gaze. You stood atop the tallest balcony of the palace, looking out at Senin as the wind blew through your hair.

He had been in a bad mood- who was allowed to blame him as he had not seen his wife for almost a week- but it faded as you turned and spotted him. “You’re back.” You smiled like a blossom opening.

“Yes.”

“How was your trip?”

He went to you. He wanted to touch you before talking, and you happily let him take you in his arms. Bury his head in your neck. When he pulled away you reached up to kiss the base of his throat before taking a step back.

“It was fine, but this emperor is getting old.”

“It’s okay, your hair is so light you can barely notice the grey strands,” you teased.

He cupped the side of your face, leaning down to kiss the small crow’s feet by your eye. He was feeling sentimental, he couldn’t help himself and he really didn’t want to. The years had just proved to show how quickly time went by, and how there was never enough of it.

You sighed happily, facing Senin once more as he stood by your side and held your hand.

“I missed you,” he murmured, raising your linked hands to kiss the back of it. “Even now, I miss you.”

He looked at you as you looked at Senin. People from all over the continent were drawn by the country’s beauty and divinity.

And yet he had never seen anything so beautiful or divine as you.

You felt so at peace. “I love you,” is all you said.

Senin had changed, and yet it hadn’t. When you looked past the city to the rolling green hills, the golden sun was still there setting on the horizon. It would rise and fall endlessly, and while the footprints you had taken would eventually disappear, you believed the love you shared with him was much like the constant sun. True, pure, and everlasting.

Taglist:

#sanzu x reader #haruchiyo sanzu x reader #haruchiyo akashi x reader #tokyo revengers series #haruchiyo akashi series #haruchiyo sanzu series #rins.works

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prncessrindou · 1 month

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SWV, ran haitani x fem!reader // fic series

I LOVE IT RAINING ON ME

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU’RE TOUCHING ON ME

IT’S LIKE WATER . . . OH NO, DON’T DROWN

♱ SYNOPSIS . . your innocence is what drives him to you and he is determined to make you his, but are you willing to sacrifice your morals for one of Japan’s most dangerous executive?

♱ CONTENT WARNING . . bonten timeline, female reader, virgin!reader, age gap ( reader is in their 20s and ran is in his early 30s ) criminal/gang activity, nsfw/smut ( lots of it ), drug use, violence, jealousy, sexual harassment, guns, alcohol usage, car sex, oral ( f & m rec ), pet names and etc.

♱ INSPIRATION . . summer walker ft. no1 noah

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

MORE TBA . . .

comment if you’d like to be tagged in this!!!

#tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers x reader #ran haitani #tokrev ran #ran haitani x reader #ran haitani smut #tokrev smut #rindou haitani #bonten #bonten ran #haitani ran x reader #ran x reader #fic series #tr smut #ran haitani x you

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kisakis-boyfriend · 3 months

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The Idol's Lovers — Bathroom

Pairings: Izana x reader

Warnings: Dom male!reader, bodyguard!reader, sub Idol!Izana, semi-public sexual acts, masturbation, brief oral + cum swallowing, smut within smut

Summary: An hour before one of his performances, Izana scrolls on social media out of boredom. Amongst the fan art, fancams, memes, and gif sets; a few particular posts catch the white-haired idol's attention. He is unable to stop his growing arousal and ducks away into a staff bathroom to take care of his 'problem'.

“Ah-! Mmph-! ” Muffled moans echo inside of the cheaply lit room, accompanying slick sounds as the idol's hand vigorously pumps his dick.

"Izana's back arched while the tall man behind him pounded his virgin hole, slamming his cheek against the wall hard enough to bruise. — The larger man forced his fat cock inside Izana's tight ass. The bratty idol came immediately; his cock dripped with milky cum, making a mess on the dressing room floor. — The two bodyguards stuffed his holes, stretching him to his limit. Their cocks unloaded inside of his warm throat and tight ass simultaneously; rendering the spoiled idol useless as he became addicted to their rough treatment and endless loads of cum."

These were the stories that coaxed the young man into jacking off in the dingy bathroom. With his shirt rolled up and clamped between his teeth, soaking the fabric in drool, and his back pressed into the wall — Izana held his phone with one hand; scrolling back to the parts of the fanfiction that caused his dick to twitch and ooze more precum. His other hand never left his hard cock as he fucked into his fist with urgency.

The burn from staring at his phone screen became more obvious, bringing tears to the corners of his eyes. He was glued to the screen — addicted to the filthy prose that his fans wrote about him.

“Where the hell did he go now...” You muttered to yourself. Receiving concerned glances from the other staff members as your heavy, rushed footsteps passed by. His input is required for these last few details of the lighting and he's nowhere to be found, once again...

Pulling your phone from your back pocket with a huff, you checked the app that showed you Izana's location — it was your idea for him to install it. Only you, Izana, and his other most trusted bodyguard, Kakucho, were privy to using this app amongst each other. No one else was allowed to keep tabs on the idol the same way that his personal guards were allowed.

“Found you, ya little shit.” You whispered, annoyed at spending precious time on a wild goose chase.

A picture perfect image of desperation — Izana's head tipped back, pressing into the tile wall almost uncomfortably, while his wrist twisted with every stroke. He wasn't even trying to be quiet anymore; loud, yet still muffled by his shirt, moans filled the room. Sweaty, nearly crying, and out of breath, the beloved idol was seconds away from an orgasm–

The loud bang from the door hitting the wall startled Izana; hips stuttering intensely while his pretty eyes widened.

“...Really?” Was the only word you were able to muster right now. Just, really? His fans were out there screaming and cheering for him and he's jerking off in a gross toilet?

A pathetic whimper pulled your full attention towards Izana, who hadn't slowed down his movements, mind you. His big, teary eyes wordlessly begged for anything to push him over the edge; to give him the release that he so desperately needed right now...

Without thinking, you marched over. Crouching down in front of Izana's trembling form, “Mr. Kurokawa,” you said sternly, and with a twinge of annoyance laced into your tone, “if you stay in here any longer you will be late.”

Using one strong hand to hold the idol's wrist away from his leaking cock, and the other to grip his exposed waist, you took all of Izana into your mouth at once. The taste of his precum hit you immediately, it's flavour rather strong seeing as there was so much of it used to lube up his cock. This doesn't deter you, however. You bob your head along the idol's length with the help of his wetness, expertly wringing an overwhelming orgasm out of him.

Izana cries, bucking his hips roughly against your face, forcing his dick further into your mouth and kissing the back of your throat with his tip — cumming inside with a groan.

Some of his cum lingers in your mouth even after he pulls out; it tastes stronger than his precum. It clings to the insides of your cheeks and coats your tongue in a thin film.

“Hah...now then, y-you need to get your ass back out there and talk to the lighting crew.” You said in between breaths. Izana was slightly dazed from the intense pleasure, needing to be dragged out of the room by his arm. “Honestly Mr. Kurokawa...like a horny teenager sometimes...”

#my writing #izana kurokawa #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo rev smut #tokyo revengers x reader #izana x reader #izana x male reader #izana smut #idol au #male reader #dom reader #tokyo rev x reader #series #oneshot #the idol's lovers #izana x you #tokyo rev x male reader #tokyo rev x you

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zeltqz · 10 months

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𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐃] ONE

| coming back after leaving the country for eight years, you reunite with old friends, family, and ex boyfriends.

pairing. ex!ran x fem!reader

word count. 7.9k (long sorry not sorry)

series synopsis. bonten is forming and in the midst of it all, you find yourself caught in the sticky webs of your ex boyfriend and current bonten executive, haitani ran.

content. angst, first meetings, mentions of alcoholic mother in rehab, drinking mentions, bonten timeline, smoking mentions from Ran in flashback

a/n: nothing too bad this chapter but there's smut next chapter, promise 💯😎

November 2005

“Shion,” you groaned and rubbed your head, massaging your scalp to try and tame your roaring headache. “Is your room available? I drank too much.”

“HUH?!” he yelled in your ear, unable to hear him over the music. Given your location, you didn’t get mad at him for screaming at you considering the fact you’re at a party with loud music. But still, it was probably the worst thing he could’ve done.

“I said—” You raised your voice slightly, moving to speak in his ear. “Can I go to your room?”

He took another chug of his drink and nodded, pointing up the stairs. “First room on the left.” You planted a kiss on his cheek and thanked him before stumbling up from the couch. Following his instructions, you were on your way upstairs but the amount of moving bodies as they danced took up space, making you confused so you opened the first door you saw and locked it behind you.

You wasted no time before flopping onto his bed, fisting his sheets as you groaned when your headache thumped again. The sheets were so comfortable and warm you almost fell asleep. The door opened again suddenly and you fought back another groan when the booming music from downstairs passed through and blasted your ears.

“Shion, close the damn door,” you said tiredly, uncaring about the aggression in your voice.

“Hot girl in my bed, that’s new,” the voice said suddenly and you stilled. Using all your strength, you blinked up at the man in the doorway. He was tall, holding onto a lighter in one hand, braids slipping past his shoulders.

“This isn’t your bed…it’s Shion’s,” you groaned, explaining slowly. The headache makes your tone sound more annoyed than you’d planned on using, especially with meeting a hot stranger. “Now shut the door.”

He snorted. “Shion’s is next door. This is my room.”

Your head pulsed sharply when you sat up instantly, spitting out rapid fire apologies as you knelt on his bed and redressed the sheets you crumpled from its neat position from lying down starfish on his bed. “I’m so so so sorry.”

"'S cool." His eyes were only focused on one thing, the sight of your dress riding up your thigh as you reached forwards, sliding your hands across the sheets to smooth them down and fluff up his pillows. The sight of your bare thigh was sensual, making him wish for nothing more than to reach out and run his fingers along it. He bet your skin was soft, inviting even, and his hands itched to sink his fingers into its warmth. The hunger stirred within his body as he watched you push the dress back down, covering your thigh once again as you slid off his bed, locking eyes with him. His eyes travelled up your body quickly until they stopped at your face, the intensity caused you to look away, flustered.

"So..." you started, swinging your awkwardly stiff arms by your side. "I'm gonna go..." you said, unable to handle the awkward situation.

"There's no point. There's a couple in there, you know how parties get."

"Oh," you breathed out, an expression that can be interpreted as sadness or defeat crossing your features.

"You can stay here though. As long as you don't mind smoking," he gestured to the lighter in his hands, and the unrolled joint tucked between his two fingers.

"I don't mind."

"Cool." He kicked the door shut behind him and moved to sit on his bed and pat the spot next to him. You were a little hesitant before stepping over to the bed, shifting backwards until your back pressed against his cold wall and crossed your legs.

"Why're you so far back? Come closer," he said, reaching out a hand, motioning with his free hand for you to come forward. You shook your head meekly, lightly scratching your nails down your arm. "C'monnn," he insisted, reaching out a hand and gently pulling you towards him.

Your protests were ignored before you sighed and allowed him to pull you forward. You sat next to him, intimidated by the proximity of your skin to his. His scent washed over you, causing goose bumps to rise on your skin as you plucked at the loose thread on his blanket.

He put the joint in his mouth, and nudged at your knee to grab your attention. "Do me a favour. Grab that candle in my drawer for me."

You obediently got up and crawled to the end of the bed, idly pulling down your dress when it rode up too far and opened his drawer. You were oblivious to his gaze down your legs, his strong eyes now turning red as he took a hit, blowing smoke through his nostrils.

"Is this the candle?" you asked, bringing out a lavender scented candle and waved it around.

He squinted his eyes to get a better look at it. "Yeah," he muttered, shifting onto his back, kicking a leg up and lacing his hand behind his head.

"Why do you have so many candles? Do you smoke a lot?" you asked, handing it to him and fitting yourself back next to him.

He was still relaxed, inhaling the smoke deeply and shook his head. "Only when I'm stressed," he exhaled, lifting his head back and blowing the smoke out into the air. You shifted on the bed, nervousness clawing at your insides as you found your eyes drawn to his lips wrapped around the joint. He was quite skilled, keeping his lips taut while smoke puffed out and his jaw clenched. Your heart rate picked up, beating heavily against your chest as you stared at his lips with longing.

As if sensing your unease, his eyes locked with yours, staring at you intensely for several seconds before he cleared his throat and removed the joint from his mouth.

"Why are you so nervous around me?" he asked, noticing the change in your behaviour.

You glanced up at him, surprised at his question. "Um, I'm not."

His eyebrows rose up to his forehead. "Sure you aren't. You're practically running away whenever we make eye contact." He reached out to poke your knee, laughing when you jumped slightly. "See? You're so jumpy, relax." His laughter calmed you down somewhat, allowing you to meet his gaze for longer than five seconds. He offered you the joint and you shook your head.

"You nervous? Never smoked before or something?" he asked, tilting his head to the side as he spoke.

You looked down at your lap, shaking your head. "Yeah, never. I can't handle the smell."

"No one likes the smell. It's about how it makes you feel," he responded, the words coming out slow as the joint began to take its course inside his body. He rolled his neck, working out any tension he felt and ran the tip of his tongue along his bottom lip.

You snorted, hiding a giggle between your palm. He looked over at you, raising an eyebrow at you but smiled and asked, "What's so funny?"

"You sound like a hippie," you giggled again, recounting his words and lowering your voice to match his pitch. "It's about how it makes you feel," you said between laughs.

He was too high to really understand what you were saying, but found himself laughing anyway. Eventually the laughing slowed down and the both of you sat silently. You were watching intently as he took another hit before offering it to you again.

Feeling more comfortable, you accepted and shifted closer to him as he sat up, leaning his body weight onto one elbow. Ran held it up to your lips and your eyes met as he instructed you on what to do.

"Inhale," he said, pausing briefly to watch your lips purse around the joint before continuing. "Slowly...hold it...now exhale," he finished, smiling encouragingly when you sucked in deeply. The smoke filled your lungs and you panicked, pulling away before exhaling and coughing harshly as your lungs protested the smoke.

Ran burst into laughter and shoved the joint back into his mouth, taking an easy hit as you doubled over, fighting to catch your breath as you tried to breathe properly. A heatwave flushed over your body when you looked back up and heard him laughing at you.

"Stop laughing! It's not funny," you protested, opting between smacking him or suffocating him when he didn't stop laughing. A pillow was right there and nobody would know it was you...but you shook the thought away and grabbed the pillow instead, throwing it at him.

He swatted it away, breathing heavily from laughing. "Alright, I'll stop, I'll stop." He shifted so he was sitting upright against the headboard. "Wanna give it another try?"

"Fuck no," you hissed, shaking your head and pointing and the tiny joint. "That's a whole murder weapon. I don't know how you do it."

"Your lungs are just weak, sweetheart."

"Sweetheart?" you blinked, caught off guard for a moment and flustered from his teasing.

"Well, I don't know your name so," he shrugged, taking another hit, blowing the smoke in your face and laughing when another round of coughs erupted from your lungs.

"You never asked for my name," you retorted, placing your chin on your knees. "Do you wanna know?"

"Is it necessary?" he questioned, lazily playing with the thin strands of hair sticking to his forehead. "How badly do you wanna tell me?"

"Not that badly. I don't really care," you shrugged.

"You just want me to keep calling you sweetheart. I can see right through you," he grinned widely, flashing his teeth at you. You pursed your lips, trying to keep them in a straight line before failing, breaking into a wide grin of your own.

"Maybe I do... so what?" you lowered your voice suggestively, feeling the failed attempt at hitting a joint float through your system, your body and mind feeling lighter by the second. "Besides, you never told me your name."

His tongue traced the edge of his lips, distracted by the way your eyes were staring at him, full of lust. You took the opportunity to lower your gaze to his mouth, wondering if it tasted as good as it looked. You saw his eyes follow your path and wonder crept in when he stared intently at you.

"C'mere," he whispered, beckoning you over. . When you leaned in close enough, your nose brushed his, sending sparks through your entire body. You instinctively pulled away when he whispered his name into your ear.

"Nice name," you responded, searching his eyes and staring deep into them. He was leaning in slowly, his lips touching yours before stopping just short, creating a confusing mix of emotions within your body.

A fire burnt somewhere in the pit of your stomach as all you could think was his lips against yours. You gripped his shirt tightly in your fists and closed the gap between you, pressing your lips firmly against his. When he felt your lips part, his tongue swept in, running along the edges of your mouth.

Your fingers dug into the sheets when his arm traced down your side, resting against your hip. A low moan rumbled from your chest as you tilted your head to the side, accepting the gracious slide of his lips against yours.

He pulled away after a moment, resting his forehead against yours. He stroked his thumb across your cheek before dragging it down to your lips, wiping the wetness away before leaving his hand splayed on your cheek, forcing you to lift your head up and meet his gaze.

"You gonna tell me your name now?" he demanded, staring directly into your eyes.

You parted your lips to speak before the door burst open and a very worried Shion stumbled through. "What the hell?! Why didn't you tell me you were in here! I thought you died or something!" His words were slurred, the alcohol he'd been drinking kicking into full gear as he did a dramatic double take at the sight of you and Ran on his bed. You were sitting next to him, your dress ridden up your thigh so high you might as well be naked. His eyes travelled up to your face, glaring at the grip Ran had on your cheek. "What the fuck are you doing?"

You pushed yourself away from Ran and fixed up your dress, clearing your throat. "Nothing."

His eyes narrowed and he stepped towards you, gripping your face until you looked up at him. Your eyes were slightly red and he frowned. "...you're high."

"Nah," you scoffed, swatting his hand away. "I'm not."

Shion ignored you and directed his glare over at Ran who was watching the situation with an amused smirk on his face. Shion grabbed onto your arm and helped you slide off the bed and fix your clothes. "Come on I'll get Mira to drive you home."

"Okay," you hummed, turning around to wave at Ran before waiting outside the door.

Shion turned to look at his friend and scowled. "There's hundreds of girls in this house. Sleep with any of them. I don't care, just not her. That’s my fucking friend, okay?"

Before Ran could respond, Shion already turned around and slammed the door behind him.

PRESENT DAY—2015

The entire drive from the airport to your brother’s house was filled with anticipation and silence. Your leg bounced restlessly, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you looked out the window. A familiar feeling of nostalgia washed over your body and reminded you of the last eight years you spent away from this place. Studying abroad was not easy, but definitely worth it. Without the distractions, family drama, (ex) boyfriend drama, you were able to focus on yourself for once, and put your own needs and interests first. You were able to meet new people every day, able to properly form new relationships in university without the fear of people judging you for the mistakes you made in high school. One thing about the neighbourhood you grew up in was that it was a tight-knit community. Everybody was well acquainted with everyone, meaning any gossip or secrets spread around like wildfire. One small mistake and everybody knew within a week.

Pushing the unpleasant memories aside, it was still good to be back home.

“We’re here,” the driver announced, parking his car outside your brother’s house. His voice snapped you out of your haze, blinking yourself back to reality. The driver was looking back at you, smiling.

“Oh! Thank you so much,” you said heartily, digging in your pockets for your change. You handed it to him and thanked him once more before sliding out of the car.

Grabbing your suitcase, you took in a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for the butload of questions your brother will ask you for disappearing randomly for eight years. Your fist hesitates before knocking on the door, biting your lip when you hear the tv inside pause, then a flurry of footsteps.

The door opened and for a moment, the two of you just stared at each other. He’s blinking rapidly, probably busy trying to distinguish the difference between reality and delusion.

“Hi Hiro,” you decided to speak first, worrying your lip between your teeth as you waited for him to say something.

“No,” he shook his head, backing away from the door. “No this isn’t real.”

“It’s real, I’m back.” You smiled, letting go of your suitcase to hold your arms open. Your heart warmed when he pulled you in for a hug, gently swaying you side to side as he took a moment to drink this information in. You don’t blame him for being this tongue-tied, if anything it’s a positive reaction when you were prepared for yelling and arguments.

“Holy shit, I missed you so much,” he spoke into your shoulder, fighting back from lifting you off the floor. He pulled away and looked at your face again, squishing his hands against your cheeks just to make sure once again he wasn’t hallucinating. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?! I was so worried!”

He finally let you go and stepped aside as you wheeled your suitcase in.

“I was nervous. I thought everybody hated me for leaving,” you admitted, looking guiltily down at the ground.

“Yeah, that was so uncool,” he responded and you felt a wave of remorse flush through your body. “I just woke up one night to a million calls from Mom telling me you left the country. I didn’t even get to say goodbye, man.”

“I know, Hiro. It was a stupid mistake. I just…” you paused, melancholy flickering on your face, then looked up at him staring you down with a soft look on his face. He knew you were going through a lot back then, but due to your obsession of keeping your personal life a little too personal, he was unable to know anything about you until it was too late and you were already gone.

You took a moment to take a deep breath, voice shaky as you continued, “I got into an argument with someone, then I fell out with Mira not even an hour later and I just lost it that night. So I checked my emails and saw that University abroad, the one I applied to as a joke, actually accepted me. So I just said fuck it and left. Obviously I regretted it but it was too late for me to go back with the limited money I had, so…yeah.”

“Who did you argue with…?” he asked, fiddling with his hands anxiously. “Who was it?”

You wiped a stray tear that slipped from your eyes and faked a smile, speaking through a watery laugh. “I’d rather not discuss this right now. How have you been?”

Hiro frowned, disappointed you still didn’t trust anybody enough to talk to them about stuff that’s clearly bothering you, but sighed all the same. “It’s good, man. I got into university too. In my second year right now.”

“Oh my god, which school?” you asked, stepping aside as he carried your suitcase further into the house. “Wait, no. What do you study?”

“I study Computer Science, obviously.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot you were a nerd,” you fake grimaced, laughing when he muttered for you to shut up. “Are you at the top of your class? You always liked computers and…hacking and stuff.”

“Should’ve hacked into that airplane and turned it back around.”

“Yeah, wish you would’ve too,” you sighed, flopping down on the couch. The leather sunk in when you sat, and you inhaled sharply, closing your eyes and taking in the familiar scent of your childhood home.

Looking around now, the house was fairly empty and dull. It was like the aura had changed, now eerily and dreary. “Hey, Hiro,” you called out to your brother in the kitchen, the sounds of plates being brought out of cabinets comforting you. “Where’s ma? I tried to reach her when I landed but her phone went straight to voicemail.”

“Oh about that…” He stilled for a moment, and you froze, unlike the sound of his tone.

“...Hiro..?”

There was a sound of footsteps as he walked back into the living room, leaning against the door and folded his arms over his chest. “She’s back in rehab.” A scowl crossed his face and he cursed under his breath. “She’s been in and out for the last eight years but I haven’t been speaking to her like that.”

“Are you kidding me?” You sat upright, frowning. “When? Why? How?”

He waved his hand flippantly. “I don’t know. Don’t care either. She can rot inside that damn building for all I care. Anyway, you hungry?”

“Yeah. Plane food sucks ass.” The two of you grinned at each other as he ran upstairs to grab a Chinese food pamphlet. The doorbell rang and you sat up to open the door, thanking the delivery man for handing you a letter. When Hiro came back down, you handed him the letter, urging him to open it.

“You’re so nosy,” he complained, tossing the pamphlet at you along with his phone. “Oh shit.”

“What?” you responded, scrolling through the menu.

“My friend’s getting married in two weeks. They’re inviting to come.”

“Ooh, what friend?” you ask, curiously, mentally deciding between the spring rolls and the chow mein. “Are they nice?”

“Yeah, her name is Hinata Tachibana. She’s really nice.”

“You both in the same class?”

“Nah,” he shook his head. “I’m friends with her boyfriend’s friend. So when we hang out, I see her sometimes. I’m not really close with her though, so I’m confused why I’m invited.” He slumped against the couch, deep in thought.

“Don’t think about it too much. Just go, eat loads of cake and have fun. You deserve it.”

“Thanks,” he smiled, picking at his nails before sliding his eyes in your direction. “Do you wanna come? It’s been a while since you’ve been back so I assume you have no friends.”

“Damn. Straight in the heart, huh?”

He grinned and looked down at the couch. “I didn’t mean it like that…”

“I know what you meant, don’t worry. But you’re right though.” Your shoulders slumped down as you pinched your lips together. “I’m too scared to contact any of my friends right now.”

“Understandable. So, you wanna come?”

You thought about it for a moment before agreeing. It wouldn’t be that bad. You spent the last year perfecting and moulding yourself into a more social being, no longer that super awkward antsy pushover teenage girl that went along with anything anyone said because you were too scared that they’d dislike you.

The food came twenty minutes later and you spent the next hour or two eating and laughing with your brother whilst watching shitty movies on Netflix. Words couldn’t explain how much you missed him, how much you missed your old home, your old life. Though your phone was dry, no new notifications, nobody to text or call, just being at home with your brother was enough for you.

The next day on your way down to the kitchen to grab some water, the doorbell rang. On the list of people you were initially hoping you’d run into eventually, versus the list of people you planned to avoid like the plague, Shion happened to fit in the middle of both of them.

You stared dumbfounded at him, watching his eyes widen as he mumbled, “You’re actually back…”

You swallowed a lump in your throat, your question along the lines of, “How’d you know,” being interrupted as he stepped forward, sweeping you in his arms. Your body felt like it was suffocating, your poor bottle of water twisting and spilling onto the floor as your fist enclosed it.

He fought back on the urge to pick you off the floor, wanting to keep things as friendly as possible, for now… before stepping away, planting his hands by his side. He blinked at you again, you blinked back, the both of you just waiting to say something other than hey…

Your brother came down the stairs just in time and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. “Dude. When I said she was back I didn’t expect you to come over right away,” he grinned at Shion, thus momentarily snapping him out from his daze.

He was hesitant to look away from the face he’s missed for over eight years and it took him a second before gathering his wits, his mind slowly coming back from its spiralling haze to respond. “I had to see it for myself. I still don’t believe this.”

You swatted his hand away when he reached out to poke your cheek. “I’m not a ghost.”

“I know. I know. It’s just—wow. You look good.” He forced an awkward smile at you. His words, to those that don’t know the context of your relationship, seemed innocent enough; your brother seemed to be pleased with the compliment, happy that he wasn’t here to lash out at you for leaving. But to you, your heart skipped a beat in your chest as you remembered the last incident between you two before you left.

For a split second, you swore you could feel his hands again as they ran down your sides, could feel how strong his shoulders were as you gripped onto them with everything you had.

Shion could tell you were thinking of the same memory and gave you a crooked smirk as you were unable to retreat your eyes from his face.

“Why is it so awkward…?” Hiro broke the awkward silence and you cleared your throat.

“Nothing. Shion come in.” You stepped out of the way to let him inside.

“Nah, nah I can’t. I just came by to see if it was true. I gotta go to work.” Your face fell at the news and a flash of guilt crossed him momentarily. “But I’ll come see you later tonight. I promise.”

“Okay,” you whispered back, giving him a long searching look in his eyes. His breath stuttered for a short moment, his hand just aching to reach out and touch your cheek but the presence of your brother held him back.

Shion left with a wave not long later and you shut the door, pressing a hand over your heart and fighting the urge to bang your head against the door.

“Did you both hook up or what?” Hiro asked as he opened the fridge door.

“Sorry, what?”

“You’re both awkward as shit and you look embarrassed right now.” He reached for the milk at the back of the fridge door and stepped over to the cabinet to grab a bowl.

“I’m embarrassed because I don’t want to talk about the topic of sex right now with my younger brother.”

“It’s not a big deal. I slept with your friend once,” he said casually, pouring his milk into the bowl, and you cringed when you saw him pour the cereal last.

His words took a minute to sink in. “Excuse me, WHAT?!”

He took a spoonful of cereal and shrugged. “What’s the big deal?”

“Which friend? Hello?! When was this?! Why—oh my god ew.”

He frowned at you. “I’m not repulsive. Chill out.” He took another spoonful and wiped some milk spilling past his lips. “It was Dona.”

“Dona—” you paused for a moment. “When was this?”

“I dunno…like two years ago? Or like three? To be frank, I lost track of time years ago. Could’ve been last week for all I know.”

You shuddered at the thought of your old friend with your brother, but pushed that sick image away from your mind. “Have you spoken to her recently?”

“Yeah. We talk from time to time. Why? Don’t want me to tell her you’re back?”

“I’d appreciate that. Thank you, Hiro.” He nodded in your direction then refocused his gaze back onto his cereal. “Now if you excuse me, I’m going to wash away that mental image from my head.”

“Oh whatever.”

~*~

Weddings in all honesty weren’t something you truly cared about. It was bizarre, growing up and seeing all this talk about getting married to the ‘one’ and spending the rest of your life with them. Sure, for some couples it was a main goal they wanted to achieve, but with you, it wasn’t something you truly cared about. Women would freak out that their time was soon coming to an end because they weren’t married and still didn’t find the right man. But truthfully, how did someone know who was the right man? Is there some sort of criteria box to tick off? Nobody actually knows someone from the get go, and you can hide your true self for years so it truly doesn’t matter how well you think you know someone, you will never know if they were the right one.

That all changed when you met Haitani Ran though. He was the right one for you. If someone asked you how you knew, you’d have to tell them you don’t know. It was more of a gut feeling. That lonesome feeling you got in your gut whenever you were away from him. That feeling could just be anxiety, scared he might not come back home alive doing what he does. But he reassured you time and time again that he would be okay. That he’s fine and doesn’t need you worrying. It was a natural instinct to worry. Especially with the countless times you had to help clean his cuts, bruises, and scratches on his pretty face.

That feeling you got was indescribable. Being with and around him changed you for better and for worse. He made you truly understand what it was like to love someone no matter how toxic it may have been. But he also managed to bring out your worst, the side that you wanted to shove down and stomp on before you left the country.

Being back now, you feel that side of you inside just chilling down there, as if waiting for the right moment to come out. It’d been successfully tamed for eight years, so the shackles were tight and it was properly chained up, and you hoped that you wouldn’t love someone else like him, hoped that nobody else managed to bring out that side of you again.

Standing here in this chapel right now as you watched Hiro congratulate his friend Hina and her now husband Takemichi on their new marriage, you couldn’t help but wonder just how perfect their relationship was. If they had brought out any bad sides in the other and had to take month long breaks in order to piece themselves back together.

The wedding photos make them seem happy enough, and you even shed a tear despite not knowing who any of these people are. They just seemed so…perfect. The perfect bride and groom. The perfect couple.

It was…revolting. Seeing them so happy and smiling constantly made you sick to your stomach. It wasn’t fucking fair that they managed to find each other, find the ‘one’ on their first try without any hardships to come between them. Guaranteed you were purely projecting, and you were aware of that, but still. It was better to assume given all the pictures you saw in the photo album of them still dating when they were 14 years old.

You couldn’t properly enjoy the wedding without tearing up slightly, wondering just what went wrong in your life that made you such a bitter human being. These people were happy to enjoy a new stage in their life and you were just being a sulking mess in the corner of the room, wishing bad on everybody as they smiled.

Seeing everyone happy with their friends, dancing, smiling, drinking, it made you jealous. The only friends you have in your life right now are your brother (if that can even count) and Shion. The loneliness never sunk in more at this point. Seeing the crowds of people in this wedding having fun…you never felt more alone in that moment.

Your mind travelled back to when you had friends, were stable in your life, had a boyfriend, and most importantly you were happy. Before you fucked it all up when you struggled on balancing all four.

JANUARY 2006

You grabbed your lunch tray and practically bounced over to your friends table, blinded by delight to notice the way Mira and Dona were shifting in their seats, uncomfortable with your presence.

“Hey guys!” You sat down on the bench in front of them, a wide smile on your face.

Mira mirrored your smile, mumbling a hey back as she poked her food with her fork. Dona didn’t bother to cast you a smile, instead choosing to frown and roll her eyes.

Sensing some sort of tension, you swallowed awkwardly. “What’s up? How’ve you guys been?”

“Fine,” Dona responded sharply.

You deflated slightly, mood turning damp. “Why’re you acting so weird?”

Mira peeked over at Dona with a worried expression. Dona was never good at hiding her emotions, always being an open book unlike Mira who mastered the art of acting happy even when she wasn’t. In that moment though, you could tell that you were clearly missing out on something because the distance between your trio had never been further.

“We didn’t hear from you for the whole holiday. We just missed you, that’s all,” Mira spoke carefully, watching your expression attentively.

Oh. So that’s what this is about. You scratched your neck, lightly dragging your nails along the skin. “Yeah…about that. I’m sorry, I was busy. You see Ran took me—”

“Of course he did,” Dona interrupted, practically spitting the words out.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Dona?”

“Nothing.” She put her fork down on her tray and looked at you for the first time today. Her eyes were sharp, the irritation practically radiating off her as she continued speaking. “It’s just that he’s literally all you fucking talk about now and frankly it’s getting annoying.”

“I’m sorry,” you blinked, getting yourself ready for defence mode. “Weren’t you the one who was pressuring me to pursue him? I was the one hesitant to talk to him but YOU wanted me to start dating him.”

“Yeah but it doesn’t mean you should be acting like this! Abandoning your friends for WEEKS without a single word!” Dona’s voice was getting higher to the point that it started to gather people’s attention from other tables. Mira wanted to sink into a puddle on the floor when people started staring, praying silently that you both would keep the volume down, but then Dona continued, eyes practically flashing red. “You didn’t even go home! The entire holiday! Your mother was worried sick!”

You scoffed. “Who gives a fuck what she thinks.”

Dona paused, her mouth open and her eyes wide. “What the hell happened to you?” The two of you stared at each other for a moment and you both couldn’t recognise each other. Mira desperately wanted to intervene, ask you both to keep your voices down and stop attracting attention but whenever she opened her mouth, Dona continued. “You know she started drinking again right?”

You stiffened and Mira noticed.

“Dona, stop,” Mira whispered, looking over to her friend desperately. “Now’s not the time.”

“Nah,” Dona shook her head. “I’m tired of her shit. She needs to hear this.” Her volume started to rise again. “You hear that, (Name). Your mother started drinking again. Because of you.”

“How do you know?”

“My mother goes to the same AA meeting as her. She was there. She heard all the stories your mother said during those meetings and told me.”

There was a moment where a look of shock flashed over your face, but Dona wasn’t having it. “Oh, don’t look surprised. I don’t know what was going through your head to think stumbling in the house drunk at 3AM was a good idea. You thought she wouldn’t notice? Or what about that tattoo you got on your stomach that you also thought she wouldn’t notice? You think this is the kind of stuff your mother wants to see from her daughter? Not even a year ago you were acting normal, going to school ON TIME, getting perfect grades. What the fuck happened to you?”

You stood up abruptly, slamming your hands down onto the table with a loud slam that definitely caught the attention of everyone in the room this time. Mira wanted to explode.

“I’m not gonna sit here and let you talk about my mother like she was a saint. In those dumbass AA meetings, did she ever discuss the ugly parts of herself or only sit there and bad mouth me? Hm?”

Dona swallowed harshly, arms crossed over her chest. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh so I’m guessing she didn’t. Let me update you then.” You brought your finger out and started counting. “Let’s discuss the fact she thought it would be a great idea to bring over different guys at the SAME TIME and sleep with them on the goddamn couch when I was trying to sleep upstairs. Did you think my thirteen year old self wanted to see that? Or my brother? Or, oh yeah this is a good one,” you brought your second finger up, “the time I had to drag her unconscious body up the stairs and help her bathe because she decided to drink herself half to death that night? Or the fact she passed out on the sofa, blacked out for DAYS and I had to sit there and cry next to her because I thought she died? My whole goddamn life was dedicated to taking care of HER. Now I finally want my own fun and go off the rails one time, that’s enough to send her spiralling and crying to her alcoholic friends? How the fuck do you think I feel?!”

You finished ranting and clenched your jaw as you waited for Dona to continue talking. She had so much to say about a situation she knew nothing about. Now everybody knew your dirty business because she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Embarrassed, you dropped back down to the bench and began stabbing at your food with your fork, pretending the chicken was Dona’s fucking head.

Mira cleared her throat, the sound echoing in the silence of the cafeteria. “I’m sorry that happened to you. I really didn’t know.”

“Yeah well there’s a lot of shit you don’t know,” you responded harshly.

Dona swallowed heavily and fiddled with her fingers under the table. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your fucking pity.” You stood up abruptly, grabbing your tray. “And maybe shut your fucking mouth and stop speaking on shit that doesn’t concern you.”

“But Dona was just looking out for you,” Mira started.

“Looking out for me, how?! By bringing up my mother in an attempt to catch me off guard and make me feel guilty? Or basically call me a bitch and a useless friend.”

Dona stood up also, pointing her finger in your face. “Maybe stop acting like both and you won’t get called that.”

“You know what. Fuck you both. I’m done. Consider me gone.”

“Yeah, it’s not like we aren’t used to you being gone anyway,” Dona muttered under her breath.

You shook your head, glaring at the both of them once more before dumping your food in the bin and storming out the room. The doors slammed loudly and everyone’s eyes were back on that table. Mira felt like there had been a spotlight shining on them the entire time.

Dona slumped back down to the bench and stabbed viciously at her food. “Fuck her. She’s so fucking damaged, I can’t deal with that right now.”

Mira frowned. “Don’t talk about her like that. She’s clearly going through stuff. You’re just saying this to cope with the fact she chose a boy over us.”

“I’m not coping with anything. She can go fuck off with Ran, I don’t care.”

Mira touched her friend's arm gently, trying to soothe down her anger. “She will be back. The second things turns out rough with Ran. I promise you that.”

PRESENT DAY

“(Name), is that you?” A soft voice called out from behind you. You froze, wondering who on earth at this wedding might possibly know you.

Turning around, you met the familiar eyes of Mira who looked at you confused for a moment, then widening her eyes before dragging you in for a hug. “Oh my god. I missed you so much.”

You raised your hand awkwardly, unsure what to say, what to do to her. You haven’t spoken to her since that fight in the cafeteria and that was months before you left the country. “...Hi…” you settled on that, mentally slapping yourself for not showing more emotion.

She pulled away and dried her eyes, wiping them with her sleeve. “I honestly didn’t expect to see you…ever again. This is…woah.”

“Yeah,” you cleared your throat, shifting awkwardly on your feet. “Neither did I. Also, what are you doing here…?” While she was wiping her face, you caught a glimpse of the ring on her finger and grabbed her hand. “No way.”

“Yes way. I’m engaged!”

“What the hell?! I’m so happy for you, Mira,” you said with a smile on her face, watching her go red at the mention of her fiance. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

“He’s on the police force. His name is Naoto. He’s actually related to the bride, Hina. You know her?”

You shook your head. “No. I’m here because Hiro wanted to get me out of the house but I’ve been out of place since I arrived.”

“I don’t blame you. I also feel a bit out of place, being here as a plus one too.”

“Oh, that sucks…” you said softly, chewing the inside of your cheek thinking what to say next. A comfortable silence fell over the both of you, which was expected. Eight years of no contact, this was sure to happen. “So…how’s Dona?”

“She’s…er…to be honest, I don’t know. We stopped speaking shortly after you left the country.”

“Oh,” you deflated. “Why? I wasn’t holding you guys back anymore.”

“It’s a long story.” A man approached Mira from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her backwards for a hug to whisper in her ear. Must be the fiance. “Really?” she mumbled to him, craning her neck in order to hear him a little better. “Are you sure he’s going to be there?” Naoto nodded.

As the two of them spoke, you couldn’t help but feel a little jealous at how secure they seemed to be in their relationship. They were cute, and looked good together.

She turned around and grabbed his hand. “Can I bring my friend? I want to catch up with her.”

At that moment, Naoto seemed to just notice your presence. His black eyes met yours and you felt a tremor race through your body for some reason. He nodded at you and you bowed slightly, fiddling with your fingers as the two of them continued to whisper to each other.

“Okay, baby.” Mira planted a kiss to his cheek and he smiled, returning the kiss to her lips before walking away. Mira approached you slowly. “Want to come to this party with us? Naoto has business there and is meeting someone so I’m coming with him.” When you looked hesitant, she pleaded. “Please? I really miss you and I want to talk to you more.”

A voice in your head was telling you to just suck it up and go. You’re not in a position to lose any friends right now. “Okay, fine. I’ll go.”

At the after party, you ended up spending majority of the night with Mira and with the influence of alcohol, the conversations flew smoother, the both of you slowly getting back in touch with each other. She told you about how law school almost ate and swallowed her whole, and you told her all about living abroad in a dorm campus and how homesick you felt sometimes. Eventually during the night, Naoto joined the conversation and you found out more about him and his job at the police force. With the help of Mira’s big drunken mouth, she accidentally mentioned a special super top secret case his division was working on called Bonten and how one of the executives is apparently going to be here tonight, and he quickly slapped a hand over her mouth, laughing awkwardly and her eyes widened when she realised.

“Oh my god Naoto I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that,” she was almost crying out of frustration and Naoto spared a pity glance in your direction.

“Sorry about her, she gets very emotional when she's drunk.”

You nodded, muttering it’s okay and watched him whisk her away from the table. You were unsure why he reacted that way. It wasn’t like you knew anything about Bonten or whatever that’s supposed to mean. Without the presence of Mira, you began to feel overwhelmed in this big room with nobody to talk to, the alcohol in your system making your brain go fuzzy.

The room started to get too hot and you were beginning to feel beads of sweat begin forming on your forehead. Standing up, you grabbed your bag and went out through the back, grabbing a metal doorstop and placing it on the door. You sat on the staircase outside, taking in the night time view outside, the beautiful way the street lights lit up the streets and the sounds of cars passing by did wonders to your hazy mind.

“Ain’tcha cold?”

It took you a moment, too preoccupied with breathing in the fresh air outside that you failed to notice the presence of a man behind you. You turned around and looked up at a tall man, a black shadow casting over his face and body making it hard to see him clearly. He leaned against the wall, holding the metal door open with his foot, arms crossed over his chest and curled an eyebrow up at you, waiting for you to answer.

“I mean, kinda? But I don’t care,” you turned back to face the front and fiddled with your phone on your lap. “I’ve experienced worse.”

“Hm,” he hummed and lifted himself from the wall, taking a couple steps forward. He sat down next to you on the stairs and you got a whiff of his expensive cologne from the action. His body next to yours was overwhelming, and your shoulders nearly touched. “Do you remember me?” he asked a couple seconds later.

You turned to look at him for a split second then shook your head. He let out a short chuckle. “C’mon try harder. Dig deeper.”

With a word heavy sigh, you turned to look at him again. The first thing you noticed was he was attractive. His sharp jawline caught your attention first, his tattoo next. Then you met his eyes. Those goddamn eyes that no amount of alcohol could make you forget. You blinked for a couple moments, the movement slow as you tried to regain control over your muscles. “No way.”

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