#top surgery results | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

just-an-english-guy · 1 year

Text

Top Surgery/ Recovery Experience

I’m currently 3 days post-op from having peri with Mr Kneeshaw and his team in Hull so I thought I would write about my experience. This is everything that happened across the last 4 days from travelling up to Hull to surgery and my stay in the hospital to the journey back home. Apologies for weird layout, I’m on mobile.

I was scheduled for surgery on the 8th of March at 7:30am so my partner and I travelled up the day before by train and stayed in the Ibis near the station. We arrived at about 9:30pm as we left Cardiff at about 4pm due to me only being able to get a partial day of work. The train journey up wasn’t too bad, we had reserved seats that were close to each other (not always next to each other due to how busy it was but that was ok). We made sure to pack everything into one suitcase, one backpack and one small gym bag that was used as my overnight bag while in the hospital so that my partner could carry everything back on his own after surgery. As I wasn’t allowed to eat anything past midnight we stayed up pretty late to eat before going to bed. I was also rather anxious too so I wouldn’t have been able to sleep right away. Ive never had any kind of surgery before so I was worrying about what could happen and what it would feel like for a few days before which lead to several nights of not sleeping well.

On Wednesday we woke up at 6am, I had my final shower for a few weeks which I did take my time with and savour. It's only been 3 days so far and I already feel disgusting even though my partner has been helping me wash with baby wipes every morning since getting out of the hospital. Since my overnight bag had already been packed I didn’t need to do much in the morning except make sure my phone charger was added to it. In the end, I only ended up taking my dressing gown, slippers, a pair of joggers and a button shirt to wear as pyjamas and my phone charger. We left the hotel a little later than we had planned so we had to run to the bus station so that we would get the bus in time.

Hull does have a lot of buses that go to the hospital which is very good. We got on the 105 at 6:40 and we ended up getting to Entrance 2 of the hospital at about 7:10. We had to ask where ward 16 was at the main reception as the signs didn’t really make it clear but it wasn’t far and we arrived at the ward at about 7:20am.

Once we arrived they showed us to my room. They are all privet rooms with their own bathrooms which is very nice. While we waited for Mr Kneeshaw and his people to come to see us several nurses came around with things for me. They gave me a gown and a pair of compression stockings, and then someone came over with the evening meal menu for me to select what I wanted to eat in the evening. The food options were more extensive than I was expecting which was nice. Mr Kneeshaw came round shortly after to talk me through the procedure and to draw on me. We agreed on my nipples being in a slightly lower position than the average cis guy's nipples as my nipples sat kinda low anyway. I knew this would be happening when we discussed it in my initial consult back in August 2021 and I'm happy with it since it's not a big deal for them to be slightly lower than average to me. I then got changed into the gown and stockings and a nurse collected me from my room at 9am. They let me keep my own underwear on with the gown which I was thankful for. My partner left the hospital when I was taken down to the theatre as he wasn’t allowed to stay while I was in surgery. He got the bus from the hospital back to the hotel and waited for me to let him know I was awake.

When they took me down I had to sit in a little waiting area for a few minutes while they got my paperwork. After confirming my name, date of birth and allergies for the 10th time that morning they took me into the operating room. It was very cold there. I was in a thick fluffy dressing gown and I was still starting to shiver. They got me to lie on the table and gave me a warm blanket so that I wasn’t as cold. The people were all lovely and chatted with me as they got me prepped for surgery. They put a sticker on my glasses so that they knew they were mine before taking them off me. The anesthesiologist put the cannula into my hand which didn’t hurt that much but still wasn’t pleasant and then they gave me the oxygen mask and told me to take some deep breaths. Apparently, the anaesthetic was a multiple-part thing but I only saw the first part get put in as I was unconscious before the guy could even finish his sentence about what he was doing.

I woke up in recovery at 12:30 roughly, there was a clock on the wall in front of me so that was the first thing I saw. People are right when they say it doesn’t feel like any time had passed. It felt like I had blinked and, at that moment, had gone from the operating table to a bed in recovery. It was a little disorientating but since it had already been explained to me that’s what it would be like it didn’t take long for my brain to catch up. When I woke up I wasn’t in pain at all and I didn’t feel sick either, something they told me would likely be a possibility. I just felt a little sleepy. They took me back up to my room not long after I woke up and gave me my phone as I had left it on the bedside table. I text my partner to tell him I was awake and that he could come and see me now. Because of how far away we were staying and the bus times (it takes 40 minutes roughly for the bus to get from the bus/train station to the hospital) it took him about an hour and 15 minutes to actually arrive but that was ok because I knew he would be on his way so wasn’t worried. After texting him I called the nurse to help me get up to use the bathroom. As it was my first time standing after surgery she helped me get up off the bed and into the bathroom. I felt a little weird about having her there while I used the bathroom so I told her I would be fine on my own and she agreed to wait outside to help me back into bed after. It was difficult at first trying to sit down on the toilet since my legs felt really weak and I couldn’t put any pressure on my arms either to help lower myself. I got there eventually though and it was easier to get up after than it was to sit down. The nurse helped me back into bed and I slept for the remainder of the time before my partner arrived. About 5 minutes before he turned up a nurse came in to check my blood pressure, temperature and pulse rate so I was awake when he got there. Oh, I should mention that when I got up to use the bathroom they gave me two fabric bags to put the drains in and hang around my neck. These make walking around a lot easier.

Mr Kneeshaw and his team came to see me at about 4pm. He very briefly undid the post-op binder to check my chest was ok and he even quickly took a picture for me. I asked since I couldn’t get the angle myself to do it. After that, he put the binder back on tight and told me I couldn’t take it off at all now until my drains came out the next Friday. He said that everything went well with the surgery and looks good so left me to rest for the evening. Roughly every 2-3 hours someone would come in to check my blood pressure, pulse rate and temperature, this continued all the way through the night altho I didn’t mind too much as they were always polite about needing to wake me up.

After Kneeshaw had left, now that the binder was on slightly tighter than it previously had been I felt a little bit of pain down the centre of my chest. The nurses gave me paracetamol but told me I could have tramadol too if the pain got any worse. Luckily it didn’t and the paracetamol was all I needed. My partner stayed until about 6pm and then left so that we could both get some sleep. I spent the rest of the night in and out of sleep with the nurses coming in every few hours. At one point in the night, at about 1am I thought I could feel liquid dripping down both my sides so I called for someone to check I hadn’t dislodged a drain. I couldn’t feel any pain though but at the time I thought that was because whatever pain medication they gave me in the operating room was still in my system. Two nurses came to check on my dressing and it turned out it was just sweat I could feel and my drains were perfectly fine. The room was incredibly hot in the hospital and the blankets they use are extremely good at keeping you warm. No matter what I did in the room I was still too hot so in the end, I had someone turn the fan on and then I used the blanket to cover me from the waist down only so that I could sleep without melting.

I was woken up again at 6am by someone who emptied my drains for me. He did show me how to do it but because I was still half asleep I wasn’t really paying attention. At roughly the same time another person wanted to check my blood pressure again and after they had both left I went back to sleep. I was woken up again at 7:30 by someone letting me know breakfast was on its way and asking what I wanted. I ended up having a bowl of Weetabix at about 8am with a glass of milk. After I had finished my breakfast I went back to sleep but that didn’t last long as at 8:45 roughly I was woken up again by another nurse wanting to change my bedsheets and give me a fresh gown. I got the option to stay in the bed while they changed sheets or sit in the chair, I opted for the chair as I could walk around a little anyway and staying in the bed just seemed like it would be weird and uncomfortable. The nurse helped me get my slippers on and get into the chair before she changed all the sheets for me. She also helped me into a clean gown which I am thankful for as moving my arms wasn’t very easy at the time. I slept again until Ralph, one of Mr Kneeshaw's team came in to check on me and see if I could be discharged. He said that everything looked good and I could go back to the hotel when I was ready.

Because of the way the hotel bookings worked we had to change hotels on Thursday as the Ibis didn’t have any space for us for Thursday night. The split booking was the cheapest way to do things and since travelling alone was costing a fortune we decided this was the best way to do things. Due to the difference in check out/ check in times my partner was set to come to the hospital with all our bags at about 12 and then we would be able to check in to the new hotel at 3pm. When I explained this to Ralph and the nurses they said It was perfectly fine to wait until the afternoon before leaving and I couldn’t leave without my partner coming to get me anyway.

My partner arrived shortly after 12. He helped me eat some lunch as I was still having trouble lifting my arms enough to reach my mouth with a fork and then he helped me wash with baby wipes and get changed into the joggers and shirt I had bought with me as pyjamas since I never ended up using them as such and just stayed in the gown while in the hospital. I asked for someone to come and show us how to empty & reseal the drains again as I was half asleep when they did it in the morning and my partner needed to know anyway. After we were shown that they handed me my discharge papers, an information leaflet about the drains, a sick note to give to my work and a feedback survey to fill out. I completed the survey while my partner made sure everything was packed up and then we left. We got a taxi down to the hotel as we both thought getting on the bus might have been too bumpy for me to handle at the time which im grateful for.

We checked into the Gilson Hotel, close to the train station when we got back to the city. I hadn’t really looked up the hotel before booking it as my only priority at the time was making sure It was close to the station and cheap. It had stairs leading from the entrance door to the reception, with no lift. While not ideal this wasn’t too much of a problem as I could walk up the stairs, I just had to do it slowly and one step at a time with a little pause in between each one. There was a lift from the reception to the other floors though which was good. We were on the 2nd floor but since there was a lift it wasn’t an issue. I didn’t know the layout or design of the hotel before I booked it and it turned out that there were two steps in order to get up to the hotel door from the hallway. Again not ideal but not a massive problem for me. This hotel definetly isn’t accessible though.

Sleeping in the hotel was a little difficult, the bed was low down which was great for getting up and down for me since I am rather short but it also had really thin pillows which made it difficult to prop myself up. We ended up using 3 pillows to create a slightly slanted back rest against the headboard, rolled up my jacket and put it under my left elbow to keep my arm propped up since that was the only comfortable position for it that didn’t hurt and I used only my dressing gown to cover me up since the hotel room was even hotter than the hospital room was.

After a somewhat uncomfortable night where I only slept for about 4-5 hours I woke up and my partner helped me empty my drains at roughly 8am. We were told to do them once every morning at roughly the same time and keep track of what comes out so we measure the ml of each one with a little jug and keep a note of it. We had breakfast and then discovered that the snow had caused mayhem with our travel plans.

We needed to be back in Cardiff by 5pm as we had a house viewing scheduled (I know, it’s a really awkward time to be doing this but our Landlord gave us notice to leave on the 28th Feb so time isn’t really something we have on our side for this situation. We did try arranging the viewing for before we left but unfortunately that just wasn’t possible). Anyway because of the time restraints and our tickets being valid only on off-peak trains we had planned to get the 10:23am train which would have gotten us back in Cardiff at 3pm. Unfortunately, this train was cancelled and the train before it wasn’t considered off-peak so we couldn’t get on that one. This meant that we had to get on the 11:26am train from Hull and that we had lost our reserved seats. This wasn’t ideal but it would still get us back just before the viewing so that’s what we did.

Since it was such a long trip the journey was split into three trains; Hull to Sheffield, Sheffield to Bristol Parkway and then finally Bristol to Cardiff Central. Hull to Sheffield was fine, we sat in priority seating since I struggled to walk long distances still at this point and definitely couldn’t stand up for long periods of time. The plan was to do this all the way back to Cardiff however unknown to us at the time a lot more trains had been cancelled which caused issues later down the line. Sheffield to Bristol was packed. I mean truly rammed. When we got on people were already standing in the walkways because there were no seats. Since I needed to sit down my partner had me get on the train first and basically b line for a carriage to find a seat. When I got on there were no seats at all. I tried asking several people who were sitting in the priority seats if they would mind giving up their seats for me and explained my condition and that my original train had been cancelled so I no longer had reserved seating. No one would allow me to sit. My partner was still out in the walkway by the doors with the bags since he couldn’t get through, not that there would be much point anyway. After asking a few more people if I could have their seat and being told no the train started to move so I gave up trying to find a seat and shuffled back to my partner. He wedged our suitcase between the wall and one of the internal carriage doors and had me sit/lean on that while keeping his arms around me to stop anyone from knocking into me while the train was moving. After about an hour a lady who was also in the doorway section with us spotted someone getting up from their seat in the other carriage to get off at the approaching stop and told us so that I could go and sit down. By the time I had gotten there though someone else had sat down in that seat and put headphones in. Luckily another lady offered me her seat when I explained that I had just had surgery and needed to sit down. I was very thankful to her and we chatted for a bit. The seat turned out not to be her reserved seat either so she warned me that someone might try to claim the seat later. When the train got to Birmingham a lot of people got off and I saw the display screens say there were two available (not reserved seats) opposite the aisle where I was so I decided to move into one of them so that there wouldn’t be a problem if the person who’s seat I was in did actually come to claim it. Since so many people got off my partner was able to make his way into the carriage now and I text him to let him know the seat next to me was available and asked him to bring some painkillers as I was in quite a lot of pain at this point. He came and sat down and gave me the tablets and then a lady came by claiming I was in her seat and that I had to move. I was a little out of it because of the pain I was in so all I managed to say was that I couldn’t move as I had surgery. The lady wasn’t happy with this and insisted it was her seat, even though there were many other empty seats in the carriage. My partner looked at the display unit and pointed out that it was still showing as not reserved and then when that didn’t seem to change the situation he lifted one of my drains out of the cloth bags the hospital had given me and showed it to the lady saying again that I had just had surgery and there was no way he was moving me now. She went to sit in one of the other vacant seats after that. It was a pretty easy journey from then on. I was in a lot of pain though from when I had been standing up so I had more painkillers and then ended up sleeping for a good chunk of the journey. My partner woke me up a little before our stop in Bristol and then helped me off the train. Bristol to Cardiff was pretty uneventful, we sat in priority seats again and it only took about half an hour to get to Cardiff. We got an uber home from the station since we were both very tired after the day of travelling.

I have to keep the drains in until Friday next week when I go back to hull to have them taken out. The post op binder has to stay on for 6 weeks however after the drains come out I will be able to remove it for a few minuets every couple of days to wash, whereas right not I’m not allowed to remove it at all. I was told I could return to work after two weeks and could drive again after the 2-3 week mark if I felt like I could handle the seatbelt against my chest. I can also start exercising again lightly after 6 weeks.

Recovering is going to be a long process but I’m so glad this finally happened. I’ve been waiting over 4 years since I was first referred for top surgery and honestly it was worth it. I feel so happy that it’s finally here.

#ftm #transgender #transman #transguy #personal #top surgery #mr kneeshaw #top surgery results #top surgery recovery #my experiences #trans #trans man #gay ftm #ftm transgender #transmale #gender affirming surgery #chest surgery

29 notes · View notes

transmascissues · 3 months

Text

12 weeks post-top surgery thoughts

most importantly, i’m absolutely fucking in love with how things look! it’s still not set in stone yet, my surgeon said i won’t really see the final result until up to a year after, but I’m so happy with it already.

my surgeon’s default timeline would’ve had me starting scar tape at 4 weeks, but i still haven’t started yet because some little scabs are still hanging around even though most of my scars are completely healed. my surgeon didn’t seem concerned about it taking longer than expected, she just said everyone’s body is different. given that i have a connective tissue disorder and skin that just hates being messed with at all, i’m not surprised that it’s been slow going and i’m just happy that the rest is healing so well. i just had another post-op today and was cleared to start using scar tape because the scabbing is so minimal at this point, so i can finally move on to the next stage of healing.

i can (mostly) lift my arms now! they still can’t quite go all the way up, but i have enough of my mobility back that the only things i really struggle with are super high shelves like the ones above my fridge, and things like the washer and dryer that i have to reach really far to get into. technically, i was supposed to wait six months before raising them because that’s what my surgeon usually recommends for aesthetic purposes, but i have to be able to raise them to do my job anyway so i’m not limiting myself beyond the natural limits of discomfort at this point.

my chest muscles are mostly back to normal too, but they’re still very sensitive. when i flex them, it doesn’t hurt or feel uncomfortable but i am a lot more aware of the feeling than i was before. they also still tire out more easily than they used to — i’m back at work now, and i’ve learned the hard way that i tend to favor one arm over the other for certain tasks because when i do any of them for too long, i start to feel it in that side of my chest. it’s not anything too bad, but i’m still making sure my shifts are spread out because i don’t want to risk overdoing it.

i’m getting used to touching my own chest, but being touched by other people still feels super weird and honestly uncomfortable at times, particularly when it’s my bare chest and not over my shirt. i’ve been touching it a lot to try to desensitize it since around week 3 or 4, and it seems to be working as far as my own touch, but other people is a whole other story — when my boyfriend is touching my bare chest and their hand touches the scars, it doesn’t actually hurt but i react to it like it does. i suspect it’s more of a mental thing than anything, that since i’m still instinctively protective of it and not quite used to how it feels, touches that i’m not in control of just automatically set off alarm bells. it’s also just a generally foreign feeling even without the weirdness of healing because my boyfriend never really touched my chest before surgery since i was dysphoric about it, so it seems to require desensitization on multiple levels. i’ve given them permission to keep touching it even when i flinch (unless i explicitly ask them to stop) because i want to make sure i start getting used to the feeling.

i’m also still very sensitive to pressure against my chest, especially the front of it. it’s getting easier to lie down on my side now but i’m still using my body pillow to take some pressure off of the scars under my armpits, because if i don’t i usually can only stay in that position for a little while. my boyfriend can mostly lay their head on my chest for short periods of time now, but the position matters because if the weight isn’t distributed evenly enough or if it’s on the wrong part of my chest, it hurts. that being said, less intense pressure on the front like a hug or holding something to my chest is pretty much fine, i’m just still more sensitive to it (as with everything). i’ve been able to lay face down on top of my boyfriend a couple times without discomfort too, but i’m still erring on the side of caution and not laying on my chest too much yet.

when i was around a month in and thought i would be starting scar care soon, i was really nervous about it — particularly about the scar massage — because of the state my chest was in. i still didn’t feel like i could press on it or move the skin around or pick it up with my fingers at all, and the scar tissue underneath was still really thick and firm. i assumed that all of that would stay the same until i did the massages to break down the scar tissue and loosen things up, but i can now confirm after another month and a half of doing nothing while things healed, my skin is naturally a lot more mobile and a lot of that really thick scar tissue has already broken down. obviously i’m still going to start massaging now because i want to give myself the best possible chance of healing well, but i wish i had known how much my chest would be able to bounce back on its own. in hindsight, i’m glad i ended up having to wait to start the massage instead of doing it back when my chest was much less healed, because i’m much more comfortable manipulating it now.

every once in a while, i’ll get sharp pains in my chest. they aren’t horribly painful, mostly just unpleasant. they feel a lot like the nerve zaps i was getting earlier in recovery so it might be another round of nerves reconnecting, but it also happens more often when i’m working so it’s hard to say if it’s nerves or over-exertion. either way, i always make sure to take it easy when i start to feel that, just in case it is a sign of me doing too much.

i typically almost never eat meat, but i chose to reintroduce it into my diet after surgery to get more protein, because i wanted to make sure my body had everything it needs to heal and protein is a huge part of that. now that i’m pretty much all healed skin-wise and just waiting for everything to settle, i’ve decided it’s time to go back to my usual diet of not-fully-vegetarian-but-pretty-damn-close. i’m sure the diet change wasn’t strictly necessary but i don’t regret doing it, though i am glad to be switching back now.

putting on shirts still hasn’t gotten old. seeing how they look over a flat chest honestly feels surreal, but in the best way. hugging people and being able to press all the way into it js also still such a great feeling. i’m far enough in now that i can do all of that stuff without worrying about it, but still early enough that it all feels really new and special, and i’ve been thoroughly enjoying that.

wearing a more genderfucky outfit out in public for the first time post-op was a fucking blast. my boyfriend and i went to a new year’s eve party, and getting to show off my chest through a sheer lace top and my facial hair alongside makeup was so much fun. it was the first time i’ve been able to go all out without the lingering feeling in the back of my mind that dressing up means inevitably being seen as a woman. i definitely didn’t look like a cis man to any of the people who saw me, but they could clearly tell i wasn’t a cis woman at the very least, and knowing that made me so much more confident.

i’m far enough away now from being in the trenches of early recovery that the reality of the fact that i got such a big surgery has started to fade. when i really think about the fact that my body went through all of that and about how hard early recovery was, it doesn’t quite feel real anymore. i’m starting to reach the point one of my friends told me about, where my chest being like this feels so normal that it’s just like “yeah, of course, it’s always been like this, right?” it’s wild, really, the difference a couple months can make — it wasn’t that long ago that i was exhausted and arguably depressed from the early recovery process, and now it all feels so normal that i have to remind myself it took all of that to get here. i never really doubted that it would be worth it in the end, but i’m still more sure of that now than i ever have been.

the last couple months have been a long road, but somehow they’ve also flown by. it’s given me so much appreciation for my body — its potential to transform and what it’s been able to withstand. i wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.

#top surgery adventures #top surgery results #top surgery recovery #top surgery #double incision #trans man #transmasc

454 notes · View notes