#transphobia rampant on that sub

[ttearsofthekingdom]

getting banned from r/adventuretime speedrun

#transphobia rampant on that sub #mods boohooing like 'we're trying our best' no you arent you arent even doing anything at all #fuck yourselves

[frankingsteinery]

been sitting on this for awhile because its a bit controversial, but its one of the main reasons i was pushed into the frankenstein fandom space so i figured it was high time to talk about it

ive noticed that theres this general opinion, both among scholars and present in more fandom-y spaces, that victor is somehow effeminate for what are ultimately symptoms of disability (fainting spells, being bedridden, hysteria, etc) as if being physically or mentally ill is something that is inherently feminine. i have read articles published by academics that victor’s sickness is proof of his “femininity,” which is why he wants to take on the traditional part of a woman, that is, childbirth (via creature)

even in general, and not on an academic level, it emerges in jokes or memes all over the place — people poking at victor for being weak, or sick, or a gay little UWU bean sub, because aw hes fainting all the time XD and he’s sooo dramatic! as if these things were somehow both his choice, and somehow innately feminine

so, not only is there this weird link people are attempting to draw between disability and femininity, but also queerness (particularly, ive noticed, being a “bottom” or “sub” — but thats a whole separate can of worms) and femininity. as if being either of these things is inherently girly or cutesy and thus worthy of being made fun of

there comes a point (particularly when these interpretations leak into broader understandings of something via pop culture), where, for lack of a better word, it comes off as fetishizing or romanticizing queerness and/or queer relationships

and while this may seem relatively harmless on the surface and comes off as just thoughtless jokes made in bad taste, it IS serious. not just within the context of frankenstein, but the general premise of the severity that even subconscious reinforcement of detrimental and stereotypical ideas should be treated with. its a slippery slope from jokes to notions that affect you and how you see the world

this is obviously part of a broader problem with the way disability, gender, identity and etc is thought about and taught, which results in people harboring all sorts of these types of underlying prejudices. its just that victor happens to be a particularly good example, wherein he is a feminized man that is ascribed as “weak,” and the attribute “weak” is ascribed to someone who has been historically analyzed as both disabled and queer. this has been reinforced for decades, and i feel like this treatment of his character in this way is so blatantly obvious and runs rampant while it goes nearly entirely unchecked — and also in the case of frankenstein discourse, its often a quadruple whammy (ableism, misogyny, transphobia, homophobia)

and the worst part is that it is so often completely unintentional, and the bulk of this sort of content are well-meaning jokes. i genuinely don’t think people do this in bad faith or out of malice, but spreading these concepts even in formats that appear to be harmless (jokes, memes) just contribute to and continue to spread these ideas and stereotypes. its frustrating because its hard to point out and bring attention to without coming off as nitpicky or overly sensitive because this sort of thing is just so SUBTLE, and these beliefs are so gradually learned and then reinforced on a subconscious level

i could go on but for risk of sounding redundant ill digress, however to be clear this is not me saying you cant view victor as transfem, or disabled, or queer (i do!), or to view him as feminine, or etc, but that you should look at the reasons for WHY you think so, and how you or others treat the subject when talking about it.

#rob.txt #frankenstein #frankenstein the modern prometheus #victor frankenstein #gothic lit #if this warrants any tws let me know #analysis #ish

[sevenofreds]

r/RWBY is overrun by people from r/rwbycritics, the hatedom's subreddit that is rampant with misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia. The r/RWBY mods once tried to ban everyone from the hatedom's sub, but the hatedom whined to crwby, misrepresenting their behavior and their group's very nature, and the r/rwby mods caved.

r/RWBY has been a bit of a shitshow ever since, as the most hateful people are organized and those who actually enjoy the show are not.

Ew

I'd say I'm disappointed but not surprised, but I'm not even disappointed. That would imply I expected better from these jackasses to begin with.

#rwby #anti rwde

[dysfunctionalgayman]

Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self as a Gay Man Into Kink

1. The Internet isn’t real life

The stories you read about on Tumblr or scenes you watch in porn aren’t an authentic representation of kink and fetish. Distinguish fantasy from reality. Even amongst platforms like OnlyFans with “real” kinky influencers they are presenting a highly curated version of a fetish scene.

2. Relationships in the kink community look different than outside of it (sort of)

It’s wonderful that you’re into the idea of monogamous romance and you shouldn’t compromise who you are to fit in. But know that for many in the kink community, monogamy isn’t the default standard and for a lot of guys it’s even a deal breaker. There are all kinds of relationships that don’t match the vanilla world- polyamorous relationships, leather families, pup families, inter-generational relationships.

At the end of the day we’re all still people trying to make a human connection.

Understand and explore the possibility of the these scenarios with an open mind in a way that makes you feel comfortable. And if at the end of day you still decide you want a monogamous relationship, you may need to look a little farther than Recon or leather events.

3. Cast a wider net

Telling yourself that you want a monogamous relationship with a gay man the same age as you who is 100% dominant and has the exact same fetishes is going to extremely limit your dating pool.

It’s okay if your dating partners don’t have the exact same fetish interests. Relationships offer a give and take. Maybe you find a vanilla guy who meets your emotional and romantic needs and is willing to open the relationship for your kinks? This type of scenario is pretty common in the fetish community.

Or maybe you find someone that has different kinks but you indulge in each other’s fetishes to please the other? Sex and kink should be a factor in what you look for in a partner but it can’t be the only one.

4. Most guys are not complete subs or Doms

Abandon this idea of subs being weak, passive cum sluts and Doms being hypermasculine Alphas. It’s hot in fanfic but, again, this is real life. Most people into BDSM have both dominant and submissive qualities.

A guy being, say, 20% sub does not make him less dominant. Ultimately what it’s all about is creating “scenes” where the fantasy of being the Dom and being the sub become real in that moment. You don’t have to be some 24/7 caricature to make that happen and make it feel hot.

5. A Dom guy will not “fix” you

Being a sub does not mean that a Dom can come in and discipline away your problems. You need to get your act together on your own and become a person who can stand on his own two feet.

By becoming your own unique individual with his own set of accomplishments, talents, opinions, skills, interests, and sense of well-being you can offer something spectacular not just to yourself but to a Dom as well.

6. The leather/kink scene has all the same issues as the vanilla bar scene

The overall aesthetic may be a little more masculine and hairy, but these queens are just as petty. Body shaming is still a thing.

You may see some larger men at the forefront of the leather world but if you don’t fit neatly into a physical category like “Daddy” or “otter” it can be tough to find your place.

There’s also rampant, explicit transphobia in the leather community. I was shocked to discover a leather organization in Texas limited it’s membership to “biologically-born males.”

7. Your butt does not define you

You don’t have to be a power bottom to be a sub and you don’t have to be a top who’s hung like a horse to be a Dom.

These roles come down to your unique personality and interests. Your biggest sexual organ is your mind. Being a Dom or a sub is all mental, being a top or a bottom (or neither!) is physical.

8. Set boundaries and be safe

Know your limits and stick with them. If a guy does not respect your limits then GTFO. In the kink world you are going to have to casually decline things being offered to you that you never imagined you would, like fisting and crystal meth. You are in the driver’s seat and can always say no.

Also trust your gut! If you’re talking with someone online and they say something that’s a “red flag,” nip that convo in the bud.

Get to know some kinky friends that can help vouch for the reputation of people you meet online (“do you know this guy?”). Use your instincts and don’t rush into unsafe situations.

9. Leather is just a material

Don’t take things too seriously. There’s still an artificiality to much of the kink community and guys are chasing after superficial forms of validation.

For guys into gear fetishes like leather, it becomes cliquey based on who can afford the nicest gear. It’s okay if your gear is cheap stuff from eBay. It’s silly that grown-ass men are basically treating Langlitz or Mr. S the way teens in the 2000s treated Abercrombie & Fitch.

You do you. Stick to your budget.

10. Prioritize making friends

Above dating, above hookups, find some connections that can be the people you go to bars with, hang out with, swap stories with.

Don’t limit your social network to specific genders or sexualities. Find friends that can be your people and tribe.

[lilyeon]

50+ Light Novels Celebration: An Overview Of The Shite I've Read Thus Far

I've read a few novels in the past few weeks. 53, to be precise, including the ones I picked up before I started really devouring them in July. With my 50th entry in My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer, I figured I could make a list of everything thus far, grouped into a few general categories. This is that list! I might turn this into a full page on this blog at some point, but for now it's a post.

Let's dive in!

Recommendation Tier [12]

These are novels I'd actively recommend people read. This category is further split up into different sub-categories for the lols, but it's the only one like that. These are all pretty good! Probably the thing to note is that these are according to my tastes, which are pretty niche compared to the average LN enjoyer, I'd bet.

Recommendation Tier: Must-Read [1]

Goodbye Otherworld, See You Tomorrow

Recommendation Tier: Absolutely Batshit (/positive)

A Wild Last Boss Appeared!

Recommendation Tier: Fantasies About Being a Competent Adult Doing Honest, Meaningful Work (And Finding Romance)

Housekeeping Mage in Another World

Dahlia in Bloom: Crafting a Fresh Start with Magical Tools

The Saint's Magic Power is Omnipotent

Recommendation Tier: Competent Protagonists Facing Challenges and Adventures

My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer

Accomplishments of the Duke's Daughter

Secrets of the Silent Witch

Recommendation Tier: Overpowered Teens From Another World Are Kind To Others and Make Family

Making Magic: The Sweet Life of a Witch Who Knows an Infinite MP Loophole

Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear

Recommendation Tier: Enemies To Lovers

The Apothecary Witch Turned Divorce Agent

The Disowned Queen’s Consulting Detective Agency

Pretty Good, But Not Like The Above (Or There's Some Asterisks) Tier [11]

I like to think I have category names that describe their contents. These novels were all pretty good or outstanding, but there's something about them that makes me hesitate to recommend them (i.e, rampant transphobia or a romance that fails to stick the landing the way I want, or some other hesitation). These are all just ordered alphabetically from now on, by the way. Too lazy to actually come up with a coherent quality ordering.

7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy?

A Lily Blooms in Another World

Banished From the Hero's Party, I Decided to Live a Quiet Life in the Countryside

Did I Seriously Just Get Reincarnated as My Gag Character!?

Hello, I Am a Witch and my Crush Wants Me to Make a Love Potion

ROLL OVER AND DIE: I Will Fight for an Ordinary Life with My Love and Cursed Sword!

Sexiled: My Sexist Party Leader Kicked Me Out, So I Teamed Up With a Mythical Sorceress!

She Professed Herself Pupil of the Wise Man

The Sorcerer's Receptionist

The Weakest Tamer Began a Journey to Pick Up Trash

The White Cat's Revenge as Plotted From the Dragon King's Lap

Anime Nonsense Tier [13]

These are alright. I didn't hate them, but they sure were books I read. Some of these are better than others -- Bofuri is a standout -- but I can't justify putting them in the same tier as ROLL OVER AND DIE so they go here. Honestly Bofuri's mainly here because the MMO world makes me mad every time I think about it.

A Royal Rebound: Forget My Ex-Fiancé, I'm Being Pampered by the Prince!

Bofuri: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense

Didn't I Say to Make My Abilities Average in the Next Life!?

The Dragon's Soulmate is a Mushroom Princess

The Drab Princess, the Black Cat, and the Satisfying Break-Up

Forget Being the Villainess, I Want to Be An Adventurer!

Hazure Skill: The Guild Member with a Worthless Skill Is Actually a Legendary Assassin

In the Land of Leadale

Loner Life in Another World

A Tale of the Secret Saint

The Emperor’s Lady-in-Waiting Is Wanted as a Bride

The Invisible Wallflower Marries an Upstart Aristocrat After Getting Dumped for Her Sister!

Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss but I'm Not the Demon Lord

This Shit Sucked Tier [12]

This shit sucked -- for one reason or another, I either didn't like it when I finished it, or I dropped it outright. I don't drop stuff easily, but some of this stuff just had me so fed up with everything that I can't muster the energy to go back to them.

As a Reincarnated Aristocrat, I'll Use My Appraisal Skill to Rise in the World

Cross-Dressing Villainess Cecilia Sylvie

Can Someone Please Explain What's Going On?!

The Eccentric Master and the Fake Lover

I Refuse to Be Your Enemy!

I Surrendered My Sword for a New Life as a Mage

I Shall Survive Using Potions

Prison Life is Easy for a Villainess

Saving 80,000 Gold in Another World for my Retirement

Saint? No! I'm Just a Passing Beast Tamer

The Reincarnated Villainess Won't Seek Revenge

The Strongest Knight is Actually a Cross-Dressing Noblewoman!?

Oh Dear Lord, What The Fuck Tier [5]

This is the category for the novels worse than those in the This Shit Sucked tier. There's only 5, but each of these had some nonsense in it where I probably yelled in my GC and/or tweeted about it and/or wrote scathing reviews of it in my reviews post. I don't often drop a series in the middle of a book, but these are the exceptions.

The 100th Time's the Charm: She Was Executed 99 Times, so How Did She Unlock "Super Love" Mode?!

The Abandoned Heiress Gets Rich with Alchemy and Scores an Enemy General

The Alchemist who Survived Now Dreams of a Quiet City Life

The Do-Over Damsel Conquers the Dragon Emperor

The Werewolf Count and the Trickster Tailor

#light novels

[vampish-glamour]

Loki anon! They copyrighted everything to do with illegal Disney merch and shit that was getting posted on places like Etsy. As long as my Loki character is provably the Loki from the myths, and not the Loki from Disney MCU, my writing is safe. All mythology is in the public domain!... until Disney figures out how to change public domain laws again haaaaaa

And gender fandom/fandom mess... well, I dont want to say what media it was exactly, the main character was a short high-school boy who let himself get bullied because he thought that would make him a stronger man. Part of his character arc was realizing that he could be strong in his own way, without being rough like other guys. Now, I don't have an issue with trans headcanons in general. However, it gets annoying when every. other. person. headcanons that this soft spoken male is AFAB. Biological men can't naturally be gentle, loving characters, apparently - except when they needed him to have a dick for gay fanfiction. There were a few, vocal people in particular who headcannoned him as afab non binary with he/him pronouns (completely ignoring how he wants to be seen as more manly, not less) After I saw them I lost interest, the sexist undertones and rampant fetishization of gay men came to be obnoxious.

I'm just going to leave it all behind, distance myself completely from my Ao3 name, and start turning my fandom blog into a discourse/LGBT blog while I work on writing evil and morally grey characters. With original fic, I don't have to worry about character-defenders accusing me of character bashing lmao, so I can go wild.

Oh, I see. I guess that makes sense. Would suck for artists doing commissions and such though!

I’ve noticed that the majority of trans headcanons are entirely based off sexism. Like you described; you’ll have a soft male character and people will assume he must be female. Or he must be nonbinary. Same with having a character who might be a more feminine man or a more masculine woman… people will do their best to make them Not A Man and Not A Woman. And fandom has some really weird ideas of what makes somebody feminine or masculine in the first place. I have seen tight jeans being a qualifier for feminine and “gender? Who’s she?” Jokes.

And then sometimes trans headcanons will be used for fetish reasons, which means making a character trans so you can write PIV sex and still call it gay. From what I’ve heard people tend to treat the trans man character like the “woman” of the two… it always rubs me the wrong way from both the transphobia angle and the sexism angle. Because they’re fetishizing and arguably dehumanizing trans people… and they’re also contributing to the idea that female = submissive, male = dominant. It’s like they feel the need to add that in order to establish a dom/sub dynamic. There’s also the homophobia of the attitude I see a lot towards gay sex, often implying that straight sex is cleaner and more natural—therefore the better option. (Can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this with the GO fandom. *puts a dollar in the “mentioning go” jar* People will just straight up be like “well they can shapeshift so of course they’d choose to have straight sex over gay sex, it’s cleaner!! Gay sex is gross why do it if you don’t have to”)

So it’s interesting that it goes the other way, too—headcanoning a character as trans until you want to write the gay smut. In that case it makes trans people less of a fetish and more of a placeholder if that makes sense? Both are pretty transphobic.

Lol that’s a good idea, good luck!! I still kinda lurk around fandom because it’s not like I have anywhere else to indulge in my interests, but I’ve learned how to avoid things I don’t want to see to the best of my ability. Which really just means staying out of tags and abusing the hell out of ao3’s filter system.

And the evil/morally grey characters?? Hell yes. Those are the best kind and I want all the evil and/or morally grey characters I can get!!

#a friend tells me I should be concerned that most of my faves are downright killers #I think I just have good taste 🤷‍♀️ #the best thing is when I actually like a ‘good guy’ character and then they just do a 180 #and I’m like ‘I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LIKED YOU’ #asks #anon

[gayagendaofficial]

Wait, what’s gay lingo? Like, what does twink, bear, etc. mean?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!

Before I get into actually defining these terms, I’d like to write about a few things:

So this is probably in reference to this post I made. Not to explain the joke to death, but that’s exactly what I’m about to do. I wanted to make fun of how people who aren’t mlm think they know what mlm terms like “twink” and “bear” mean and how they blatantly use them incorrectly everywhere, because they think they’re funny (bc gay men are a joke, right? //sarcasm), or because it makes them look “woke”. It’s an idea I had for the longest time when I saw something a str8 woman wrote about Zac Efron being a twink, in the present. Like yes, Zac Efron was a twink, past tense, but he is absolutely not a twink anymore (if you can even call a str8 man a twink). And she also implied that being a twink is something you can’t outgrow, which is laughable, because it’s kind of a meme among gay men that being a twink is something you grow out of whether you like it or not.

This mostly seems to be a problem among cishet women, since cishet men tend to be too concerned with their “masculinity” to touch gay culture. But since this is tumblr and virtually none of you are cishet, a lot of the times I’ve seen people misuse these terms on this site were LGBT+ people who weren’t themselves mlm. In those cases, the reasons seem more that these people are just misinformed, and they use these terms because mlm use these terms, and we share a community. Part of it comes from the fact that wlw might see the terms “twink” and “bear” as analogous to “femme” and “butch” respectively, which is not true in the slightest (Butch and femme are their own complex thing. What they actually have in common with twink and bear is that few outside their communities actually know what they mean lol).  Another reason might be that other LGBT people see mlm using these terms sarcastically and think they’re being used in earnest; if an actual gay man calls a bodybuilder a twink, he’s probably being sarcastic, and also probably trying to insult him (which is a whole can of worms I’ll open up in a bit).

I’m gonna try to define what “twink”, “bear”, and a couple of other terms actually mean, as well as give a little bit of context to how they’re used and controversy surrounding these identities within gay spaces, partially based on my experience as a gay man and partially based on casual research. I’m just one gay man, and I’m not an expert in queer studies or anything, so take from that what you will. I hope this will be useful to mlm who are just discovering their identities and exploring their sexuality/gender, who are new to the community, and I also hope to inform our siblings elsewhere in the LGBT community. This info could also be useful to cishet allies, although please be mindful of your intentions in using these terms.

Anywho, lets get to the definitions:

A twink is a young, smooth, slim mlm. The definition here is generally seen as being pretty strict on those 3 criteria, although “twink” is sometimes used for older mlm who are skinny and don’t have much body hair. Those last two criteria are the most important, because there are other categories for mlm that fit one of the criteria; an otter is essentially twink + bodyhair, and there’s a whole host of other words for other body types.

The definition of “bear” is a little more flexible than “twink”, although it generally comes down to the inverses of those same 3 criteria. The most important of these is the bodyhair requirement; any definition you find of bear includes something about being hairy. Almost as important as bodyhair is body type, although “bear” covers a slightly larger range than twink in that regard. Usually, “bear” indicates that someone is large or plus-sized, although it can also sometimes be used to describe someone who is muscular in the sense that they are beefy (if you can see a 6 pack, he’s probably not a bear). It’s also sometimes associated with being slightly older, but that’s not nearly as important, and “bear” can refer to any age. The term “cub” refers to mlm with the same body type as a bear, but who are smooth and young.

Now, let’s get into some misconceptions/controversies surrounding these terms. The first of these is that twink and bear are the only two options, and that all mlm fall into one of these two categories, or that other terms are simply variations on those two main terms. This misconception is really only one held by people who aren’t mlm themselves (or are, but are only just learning the terminology). These terms are extremely specific, and the fact of the matter is that the vast majority of mlm don’t fit into either of these categories. And that’s ok! There are a ton of other words mlm use to describe themselves. I’ve already mentioned “otter” and “cub”; there’s also “jock”, which refers to muscular mlm; “wolf”, which also refers to muscular mlm, but specifically hairy ones (with a bit of overlap with the “beefier bears” I mentioned earlier); the relatively new term “twunk” which you may know from this video as “a combination twink and hunk”; and many many more. In addition, all of these categories are really just physical descriptions of your body, and don’t have any bearing on anything else. You don’t need to fit into any of them.

That being said, there are a number of stereotypes associated with these terms, and it is important to address them.

Our next misconception is one that’s as common among mlm as as it is among everyone else: that twinks are by definition fem, and bears are by definition masc. “Masc” and “fem”, short for masculine and feminine respectively, come with their own host of problems, and that is a can of worms that I am not going to open up right now. This post is long enough as it is. If you want the sparknotes version of the controversy surrounding the masc-fem dichotomy, it basically boils down to misogyny, transphobia, and internalized homophobia. But back to twinks and bears: I would like to assume that it’s obvious that your body type or bodyhair has absolutely no impact  on your personal presentation of gender. There are plenty of fem bears and masc twinks. But unfortunately, most people don’t seem to get this. And this super important, because the gendered way we think of these terms affects everything else I’ll be talking about in the remainder of this post.

My next point, which is really and observation based on my experience in the gay community, is that bear as a term seems to be much less… loaded. However, being a twink myself, there might be a gap in my personal experience, so any bears feel free to correct me. However, from what I’ve seen, “bear” isn’t really used as an insult in the way “twink” is. Which is a bit of a miracle, considering how prevalent fat-shaming is in the gay community. From what I’ve seen, bear isn’t a term that’s forced on you, it’s a term that bears choose for themselves, almost always in a positive way. It’s a term associated with body positivity, and bear communities seem to be much less toxic than the gay community as a whole. Even when it’s used to describe someone else, it’s always a neutral statement of fact. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it used as an insult, or even sarcastically. The worst I’ve seen of it is that it’s used as a porn category, which contributes to the fetishization of fat people; but then again, twink and jock are also porn categories, so it would be weird for bear not to be. This isn’t to suggest that bears are treated better than anyone else in the gay community, if anything they’re treated worse; just that the word “bear” itself has neutral to positive connotations. (Again, any bears correct me on this if you’ve seen it used negatively!)

Twink, on the other hand, is absolutely used as an insult, and frequently. And while this may sometimes be harmless, more often than not it’s really problematic. If you’re plus-sized and you use twink as an insult in the same vein that Nicki Minaj said “fuck the skinny bitches”, that’s completely fine. Twinks are seen as being desirable (if they behave a certain way; more on that later), so effectively it’s punching up instead of punching down. However, a good 95% of the time that “twink” is used as an insult, it really comes from one of the many stereotypes that all essentially boil down to the idea that twinks are fem. And the idea that being fem is inherently bad and insult worthy is, once again, rooted in misogyny, transphobia, and internalized homophobia. 

This association between twinks and femininity also has a lot of scary implications on the beauty standards twinks are held to. I’ve noticed that twinks fill a niche in the gay community that is similar to the role cis women are supposed to fill in western culture as large, and that we’re only seen as sexually valuable if we perform the same behaviors and meet the same beauty standards that are typically reserved for women. We’re bottoms by default, submissive both in and out of the bedroom (yes I actually am a sub bottom, but that’s beside the point). We’re supposed to maintain a completely smooth, hairless appearance; a shaved ass is the bare minimum of hygiene. I once met a guy on grindr who demanded that I be completely hairless everywhere beneath my eyelashes, and while that’s a bit extreme, he was by no means an outlier. Just today I talked to a guy who wanted me hairless between my neck and knees. We’re often seen as vapid and stupid, and infantilization of twinks is rampant (some guys put way too much emphasis on the young part of the definition). And, to cap it all off, there’s the racism! Who’d’a thunk that all forms of oppression are connected? (sarcasm). Twinks can of course be any race, but the ones you’ll see men on grindr going after the most are white or light-skinned Asian twinks. Combine that with stereotypes of Black, Latino, and Middle Eastern men as dominant and aggressive, and you have a whole slew of white supremacist ideas painted over with a thin coat of gay porn.  (mlm of color who’d like to add or correct me on anything, please do so!)

I’ll end this already long post with a comparatively brief discussion on who these terms apply to. Basically, if you’re an mlm and you fit the definition of “twink” or “bear”, congratulations! You’re a twink/bear! “Can bi men use these terms?” Of course! “What about trans men?” Are you attracted to men and male-aligned people? Then of course! That last one might be controversial to some cis gays, and to that I say fuck right off. However, it does get a bit muddier with trans women and transfem nonbinary people and the word twink. Trans women are absolutely not mlm, but many of them have been a part of mlm communities for a long time, often before they even realized they were trans, and some may be reluctant to give up the word twink (I haven’t seen this for bear, although again, lmk if you’ve seen evidence to the contrary). And on top of that, a lot of cis men looking to have sex with trans women conflate trans women and cis twinks. Because remember what I said about twinks filling the niche of women? It’s often a niche they share with trans women, except trans women have it even worse, because they are actually women. My two cents is, if a trans woman wants to refer to herself as a twink, she’s more than welcome to. Just don’t go around calling trans women “twinks” unless they specifically say you can; it’s a gendered term, you are misgendering them, and, once again, you can fuck right off. (trans women also please comment if you want!)

Well, anon, I bet you weren’t expecting a post this long. At least I hope y’all learned something! Be gay do crimes!

#mlm #twink #bear #gay #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbt+ #lgbtq+ #gay culture #ask #anon #sfw #long post #transphobia // #misogyny // #racism // #fatphobia //

[algernoninwonderland]

Why the Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics is a rubbish idea, and how to do better

I’ve been reading fanfictions for almost a decade now, younger me really liked Johnlock and Stony and things like that. I’ve read some godawful things and some genuinely great stuff. But if there’s one thing I’ve always felt quite iffy about, it’s the a/b/o dynamics and the omegaverse things.

I genuinely believe that the entire premise of the omegaverse is rubbish and really easy to use to portray harmful ideas, relationships and power structures as something hot and sexy and whatnot when it’s clearly terrible.

Let’s:

1. Take a look at what the a/b/o premise is 2. See what is utter rubbish about it 3. Propose a few ideas to avoid writing an omegaverse fic (if you still wish to write one) which present these ideas at face value

But before we begin, a few things:

First, the themes of rape, sexual violence and abusive relationships will be discussed during this, so there’s a tw tag for these things.

Secondly, I do not believe that depicting terrible things in art means you automatically condone them. Take the way Toni Morrison deals with that scene between Pecola and her father in The Bluest Eye, for instance (that’s the one example that comes to my mind but there are countless others). But I also believe that you have to be responsible when you depict terrible things, and that you should try to make sure what you produce cannot be interpreted as an endorsement of these things.

I’m not here to tell you you are a bad person if you enjoy omegaverse fics, I don’t know you and I’m not here to judge you as people, I wish to engage with ideas and the way they may impact people.

At last, I am not here to tell you what to think or what to write. These are just my thoughts and suggestions, nothing more. I have no authority over you, I can’t tell you what to do.

Are we good?

Alright, then, let’s get started!

1. What are these Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics all about?

There are posts all over the internet for that’ll explain you that in more detail than this post, a Fanlore wiki page here if you want to read that, it does a great job at tracking down the history of a/b/o, but I’ll sum it up here with a few extra things I think are relevant.

So, in the omegaverse, the society is split between two, or three categories. Characters are either alphas, betas or omegas, well-established roles, socially and genetically: Alphas are in a position of power, the sexually ‘dominant’ ones, whereas the Omega is the opposite of this and the one to carry the Alpha’s seed and whatnot (there are no other ways to put it); the beta is sort of a middle ground between the two.

This introduction of these concepts and that distinction between so-called Alphas, Betas and Omegas comes from a 1970 bestseller, “The Wolf: The Ecology and Behaviour of an Endangered Species” by zoologist L. D. Mech, and we’ll talk a little more about that thesis later.

So it is not surprising that the omegaverse tropes are really common in werewolf fiction and werewolf AUs. Teen Wolf and Supernatural have thousands of these fics on ao3 alone, and there’s more on many other websites.

The classic narrative scheme is the following: the strong and domineering Alpha is in heat and mates with a submissive Omega, bonding with them in the process. The great majority of these fics are M/M fics.

What we have here is the superposition of a social role and of biological functions: the Alpha is in a position of absolute power from a social, and material standpoint, and is the one who gets to impregnate their partner/partners, they have the most sexual power. To put things crudely, they are the ones to make use of their penises whereas the beta/omega does not have this sexual intensity and plays a more passive role.

In the omegaverse, you need Alpha blood and an Alpha’s social status to have sex the way an Alpha has sex, you need to have Alpha blood to live like one. These two things cannot be dissociated. And sex… There’s a lot of it in the omegaverse, I mean it’s basically the offshoot of other kink fics and is pretty much a kink itself.

2. So, OK, the hierarchical aspect of the relationship is a bit weird, and maybe Mpreg is as well, but that’s it, right?

Well not only. Remember that thing about the 1970 bestseller? Its own author acknowledges that it is biologically incorrect and does not apply to wolves at all. There are no such things as Alphas, Betas and Omegas in wolf packs.

But did that keep people from using these notions even though they have been proven to be rubbish?

I mean, the alt right seems to love them and uses them unironically so, I don’t know… And so do some fics. Does that mean that all a/b/o fics are inherently fascist? For the most part, I don’t think so. But they don’t always try to detach themselves from that either.

What about the sex? Yes, let’s talk about sex. That’s the main reason why 14yo me once clicked on one of these fics, out of curiosity and because I was 14 and didn’t know better. I regret so many things.

Sex in the a/b/o fics is very explicit, very anatomically inaccurate (though it’s not why we click on these in the first place, or smut in general, but none of the gay/bi/pan men I personally know enjoy a/b/o), and quite often, it’s very fucked up sex. Dubious consent, underage sex, outright rape, you name it, that’s what tags are for.

Sex in the omegaverse is a traumatic experience with that strong sense of hierarchy, a possessive alpha and their possession, an omega. It often comes with knotting, too. And if you don’t know what that is, you’re really lucky, don’t google that, ever. Just know that, at least in the beginning, sex doesn’t feel good for the beta/omega, and when it does, it still comes with quite some pain.

I’d argue that sex in a/b/o fics is not too far off from the uke/seme dynamics in yaoi, the two even overlap: there’s an “attacker” and a “receiver”. This is not just dom/subs, which can still be healthy, it’s almost spelled out “the way these have men have sex is downright abusive”. I won’t discuss the rape tropes in yaoi here, many have done so before and better than I could ever do it, but they’re here.

The Alpha is the attacker, depicted with hyper (and obviously toxic) masculine traits and quite the emphasis on his… Membrum virile. He is not the one who has to carry the child in the case of a Mpreg fic. He can’t act any other way, it’s in his blood, it’s his nature, his instincts, he can’t help it if he’s in heat and wants to fuck. Oh, I sure wonder what that sort of justifications makes me think of. I’m sure you’ll find it.

The Omega, on the other hand, is in a position of inferiority because of his role during sex and due to his social status: he is submissive, abused, soft-spoken and physically weaker than the Alpha. He is belittled because he is the one who can give birth to a child, yet a prized possession — not a being, a possession—  because of that. Change the pronouns from “he” to “she” and there you'll have a nice surprise. (It’s really not surprising at all).

I’d like to quote a prompt also featured in the Fanlore wiki page for a/b/o, and think about it for a little while.

“There are three types of men, alpha males, beta males, and omega males. Alpha males are like any ordinary guy with the exception of their cocks, they work just like canines (the knot, tons of cum, strong breeders, etc) The beta male, is an ordinary guy without the special cock. Omega males are capable of child bearing and often called bitch males”

The use of “bitch” here is extremely revealing, don’t you think? We’ve got both the animalistic aspect and the misogynistic undertones that come with it. And we, readers, are supposed to find that sexy.

So, what we have is M/M fics dripping with rape culture, misogyny, homophobic clichés (the rampant homosexual and his uncontrollable and violent sexual urges). And don’t get me started on the transphobia and transmisogyny, and racism (when there are POC in at all, which is to say rarely).

Does this mean all writers who write a/b/o fics are rampant misogynistic, homophobic people who endorse rape culture?

The answer is complicated. But, as a former member of the “not like the other girls” group, I’d say that internalised misogyny is very, very pernicious. Rape narratives are ubiquitous in modern “Western” culture. And a/b/o often perpetuates homophobic clichés.

3. What do we do now?

With such a terrible premise, it would be wise to not write anything a/b/o at all.

But perhaps with a self-aware approach, perhaps by subverting these tropes, by dissociating this “biological” aspect from the societal one or by throwing them out the window completely, writing something a little more interesting is possible.

Showing that these categories are rubbish and an artificial construction, for instance. Have the rape victim get away from his rapist, or even better, no rape at all. Have the couple adopt children.

But, personally, I believe writing something else than a/b/o is still the better option.

Fan fiction, fan content can be so much more than these terrible shitty things if we try our best to know where ideas come from, what they imply and how to execute on them.

#fanfiction #omegaverse #discourse #tw: rape #tw: homophobia #a feminist and queer approach to fiction #alpha #beta #omega #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o verse