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chrollohearttags · 2 months

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Helloooo

I tripped and accidentally spread my legs to ur blog🙈 But I was wondering if you could be prompted to write about Baby fever Eren? Wants a pretty lil baby with his pretty lil princess? Thank you love 💕

hiiii 🩷🫶🏾🫶🏾 well welcome 😭 I swearrrr, y’all must’ve known I’ve been missing my man. I can absolutely make that happen!

BUN IN THE OVEN

feat. heavy breeding kink, our sweet EJ + influencer (y/n), spreader bar, porn with no plot, mating press, nipple play, lots of sweet talk, daddy’s used

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“Mmmmphm…can you take some out, pleaseee?..”

“Aww, but princess..you’re doing so good right now and you feel..so good. Please don’t make me stop..”

the consistent rutting and pounding ensued as you found yourself flat on your back..legs suspended midair and pulled apart with the assistance of a metal bar clasped around your ankles. Your wrists were also bound and dangling from the center. Quite an interesting and vulnerable situation you’d been put into. But you wouldn’t place this level of trust and submission into anyone other than your loving husband, EJ. Who had just returned from his tour..rather than lethargic from endless days of performing or suffering from treacherous jet lag, he was rather energetic. Mainly because the prospect of seeing you once he stepped foot from the plane was all the more worth it. But perhaps the most exciting part of coming back to you was getting to be one with his lady. In your absence, he missed you terribly. Your scent, your touch..your warmth. So much so, he wanted to always be a part of you, even when he couldn’t be around…which began his wheels to turning…

“ ‘Ren…baby..’m so close.”

“I know, baby. I know you are..and if you keep squeezing me like that, you’re gonna get all this nut. Just like you wanted, right? You do want another one, don’t you?”

see, Eren had been contemplating for a while on the subject of having children. It was something that the two of you had mulled over but ultimately decided it was for the best to wait. However, his mind had quickly changed when he saw you babysitting a friend’s toddler. He loved his natural and instinctively you cared for the child..how soft and nurturing you were. That’s when his mind and thoughts would wander farther onto the more salacious side!…imagine you with a cute baby bump. Full of his seed and carrying his baby..Eren often thought about how attractive you’d look with that swollen belly and of course, those already perky tits becoming plump because you’d be lactating. The thought often left him salivating and stroking himself in his hotel room whilst away from home. So now, he was atoning for lost time. Thrashing his cock into your tight little hole..the same one that clenched for him over the lens of a FaceTime call, begging for him to stuff it full when he got home..the one that squeezed your fingers tightly as you pumped them in and out, moaning his name. And now? It was the same one that’d give way to your aching womb; desperate to be bred. He’d feed you deep seeded strokes, glaring directly into your eyes with gentle coos ringing out in the form of sweet nothings. “Yes d-daddyyy..but I can’t—“ “..then let me handle it, princess..you gone look so fucking pretty with my baby inside of you..” the sheer thought causing his cock to twitch as it bottomed out inside of your womb. Consistently colliding with your thighs as that thick length sloshed around in that sloppy mixture; comprised of your juices and his previous loads. He had to ensure that you were good and full of his warm cum before he let up. You’d see the excited yet unrelenting glare on your man’s face and knew that you were in good hands. “You’re gonna look so beautiful—fuck..I can see it now..you gonna have my baby..let daddy get you all full? You want it?” Cooing to you with the single swipe across your lips and you had never felt more comfortable than you had in that moment. Despite the rough and rambunctious love making that you guys had just participated in, it was going to have the most delicate and precious result.

“Yes..I want it!..want to give you a baby.” That sweet answer was all he needed to persist and he wouldn’t leave until his goal was achieved and those lines popped positive.

“That’s all I wanted to hear, princess..all I needed. ‘M gonna get you pregnant. Even if it takes all night..”

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coloursofunison · 2 years

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Today, I'm welcoming The Ultimate Village Game to the blog for a release day post, author Q & A and a competition! #blogtour #mystery

Today, I'm welcoming The Ultimate Village Game to the blog for a release day post and review, author Q & A and a competition! #blogtour #mystery @rararesources @lizcity77 @bethmwriting

Here’s the blurb: Riddled with guilt and tormented by desire, Lucy Short keeps notes about newcomers to the village, but why? The misfit with the rescue dog has a mysterious past. She’s been biding her time, plotting and scheming, and now she’s determined to get what she deserves. It won’t be straight forward. Someone is sure to be watching her every move, and there seems to be something more…

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#Amazon #Beth Merwood #Blog Tour #book review #New Release #The Ultimate Village Game

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cowpokeomens · 4 months

Text

Dress

Pairing: Will Ramos x Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: 18+ this is straight up self-serving porn!!!!!!! Minors go away!!!! Anyways this has got everything: Biting, p-in-v, blowjobs, fingering (female receiving), breeding kink, big ole praise kink, me projecting how badly I want to swallow William's load, I think that's it but by all means DM me or reply if you think I should add something!

Literally no one hmu unless it's to talk about this photo. It has nothing to do with the story but I wanna fuck him so bad so I'm putting it here. It's my blog I do what I want.

Yes I was listening to Dress by Taylor Swift as I wrote this!!!! Yes it's one of the horniest songs in her discography!!!! Leave me alone!!!!

Anyways.

This is straight up porn, no plot in sight, no beta because I'm insane, no fucks given because I'm a whore! Enjoy.

____________________________________________

Will was about to vibrate out of his fucking skin.

He’s irritable, too- a far cry from his usual “Sunshine and Rainbows” disposition. People kept trying to make conversation, ask him about the tour, compliment the new album. It would end with a curt, “Yeah, it was a lot of fun,” as his eyes would be dragged from whoever he was talking to back to you.

The dress was unfair. It was diabolical, even. He searched his memory, trying to come up with a reason you’d put him under such physical and emotional duress. He did the dishes last night, made breakfast this morning- he even folded the laundry! In terms of “deserving of death by nefarious garments,” his conscience was clear.

Yet there you were, clad in the slinkiest little black dress that he never knew you owned. You had spent hours in front of the mirror, perfecting your makeup, carefully styling your hair. It had been fun for him to watch; Fun to listen to your “Ultimate Emo” playlist and jam out while you painstakingly applied a swipe of lipstick, a striking mark of eyeliner. It was fun.

He stopped having fun the moment you stepped out in the goddamned thing.

“Zip me up?” You had asked, batting mascara-ed lashes at him sweetly. His brain had short circuited for a second, rebooting completely when it started overheating. Zip you up? He wanted to eat you up, toss you over his shoulder like a caveman and keep you in bed for hours.

“Where are you going in that?” He asked incredulously. Your breasts were about to fall out, fabric clinging to the small of your waist. There were other details- lace and ribbons and shit he didn’t have the vocabulary for when his head was running on all cylinders, much less now. You turned around so he could reach the zipper better, and he genuinely wondered if the anime nosebleeds were onto something with how quickly the blood rushed to his cock at the sight of your ass stretching the fabric.

“Um, to the jamboree your label is hosting?” You retort with a giggle. “C’mon, we’re going to be late to this shindig if we don’t leave soon.”

He had complied, after some whining, zipping you up and kissing you softly on your shoulder, willing his cock to miraculously soften.

Then you had arrived, and he was swept away by record executives, you saw a group of gal-pals, and he had to keep his hands to himself.

For hours.

Will’s hands itched with the urge to reach out and touch you, twitching at his sides. Someone said something that must have been fucking hilarious, because you were laughing, head thrown back, chest heaving-

I can’t do this. He thinks to himself. This is a task for men stronger than me.

Quickly downing the last dregs of his cocktail, he impolitely excuses himself from the group he was speaking with, maneuvering through the mass of people to where you stood.

“Hi baby!” You call when he enters your line of sight, smiling brightly. You’re in a small group of people who also greet Will upon his arrival, immediately asking about the tour.

“It was a lot of fun, thanks for asking.” Will mumbles distractedly, eyes never leaving you. “You ready to blow this popsicle stand, love bug?”

Your eyes widen slightly in surprise. “Oh, sure.” You quickly excuse yourself from the group, leaving with warm goodbyes and tight hugs. Will thinks he’ll catch on fire before the two of you make it out of the building, but then you’re walking over to join him, the two of you quickly working through the crowd.

“Is everything okay, Will?” You ask when you’re both out of earshot. Concern is evident in your tone, and Will fights the urge to smooth the crease between your eyebrows with a kiss.

“Yeah, just itchy is all.” He murmurs to you, placing a kiss on the top of your head as you both exit the building. Itchy was a good word; He was practically crawling out of his skin with the urge to get you undressed, underneath him.

Guilt overtook your pretty features. “Oh baby, was the party too much? If you felt overstimulated, we could have left earlier-”

“No, I’m fine, pretty girl, really. It’s just-” He sighs, stopping in the parking lot to dig his keys out of his pocket.

“Did I do something?” You sound so sad, eyes widening. Will could practically see your mind sifting through the evening, trying to find some misstep.

“No, no baby- stop. I can see you overthinking, you didn’t do anything wrong, I just-” He sighs again, pausing by the car now. He glance around the two of you, making sure you were alone, before guiding your hand to his groin.

Your eyes went dark at what you found there. “Holy shit, you’re- how long?” You stammer, sounding hoarse.

“Ever since you put on that fucking dress.” He admits sheepishly.

“C’mon.” You nod towards the car, motioning for him to get inside.

You made quick work of shutting your door, Will about to start the car when you stop him.

“Leave it off.” You command, making his eyebrows shoot up in question. “Less conspicuous.”

“Less conspicuous for wha-” Will’s question was cut off as your lips locked with his in a searing kiss. You gripped his shirt in your hands, dragging him closer to you.

“All hard for me, huh?” You whisper against his lips.

He’s nodding before he realizes it. “So hard, baby, all fucking night, all for you.”

You’re nodding with him, already drunk off of the power you have over him. “Let’s get you taken care of then, yeah?”

You tear your lips away from his to better unbutton and unzip his pants, tugging the fabric down the best you could in the cramped space. He hisses as you pull his briefs down so that his cock can spring free.

“Holy shit.” You breathed, taking him in.

He’s always been big- you were familiar with that part- but you’d never seen him after being hard for hours. The veins on his cock were bulging angrily, the tip shiny with precum and deliciously red.

“Poor thing,” you say in a saccharine voice, leaning in to kiss the cherry-red tip.

He outright keens at that, hips barely jerking up, like it was taking everything to hold himself down. “Don’t be mean, pretty girl.”

You give him one last grin before you’re swallowing him down, stopping three-quarters of the way down to soothe your gag reflex.

“Fuck-“ Will gasps into the air, one hand coming up to tangle in your hair. His grip tightens, and you feel your control over the situation slipping away. “Fucking tease tonight, huh? Not enough to wear your slutty little dress, couldn’t wait to get my cock in your mouth either, could you?”

You whimper almost silently at his words, but he feels the vibrations of it on his cock. “Little slut likes that? Does she want me to use her pretty mouth?” He continues, pulling you up by your hair just enough for you to be able to speak.

You relinquish any semblance of control you had when you manage a small, “Please.”

He grins at you, so far from his regular, cheerful smile, and pulls you in for one last kiss. It’s sloppy and wet and wonderful, and you’re almost sad when he yanks you away by your hair again to guide you down to his cock.

“Open.” He commands, the gruffness of his voice making you quickly do as you were told. His cock is in your throat immediately, but before you can gag, he’s pulling you back up roughly. You manage half a gasp of air before you’re being shoved back down, swallowing him again. He continues fucking your face at a brutal pace; Soon spit is covering your chin, and you can feel you mascara running down your cheeks in the form of tears.

“So fucking good for me.” Will grunts, hips thrusting up to meet your face. “Such a good girl, taking what she’s given.”

The praise makes you moan- or at least, as much as you could with him fucking your mouth so thoroughly. You’re lost in the sensation of him so deep in your mouth, breathing deeply through your nose as he uses you. His thrusts start becoming irregular, a chant of your name and “fuck” falling from his lips as his movements grew shorter and shorter.

Oh, you think. He’s so close, you can see it in the tension of his body, in the drawn-up expression on his face. You want nothing more than for him to finish in your mouth, to make you swallow it down, but he pulls out abruptly, chest heaving with labored breaths.

“Is something wrong?” You’re pouting, you can feel yourself pouting.

He sees your face and huffs a laugh, still panting. “Pretty girl wants my cum that bad?”

His words- the vulgarity of them- color your cheeks pink. Although… Yeah. That was exactly what you wanted. You nod, the smallest movement.

You think you hear him stop breathing, but then he speaks again. “C’mere, honey, I’ll give you what you need.” He motions to his lap, where his cock is beckoning you like a siren at sea. You hastily go to unzip your dress, but he stops you. “Leave it on.” His gaze drags down your form, back up to your throat, where his eyes linger for a moment before he’s looking into your eyes again. “Leave all of it on.”

His words make you shiver, but you obey, crawling over to straddle his lap. He yanks your panties to the side in record time, immediately thrusting two fingers into you. You mewl at the sensation, eyes squeezing shut as your hand comes up to slap over your mouth to muffle the sound.

“Nuh uh, let me hear.” His voice is in your ear, nose rubbing against the lobe of it. “Let me hear your pretty sounds- God, you’re so fucking wet.”

You could hear him moving his fingers inside you, even over your own noises. You grind down into his hand without consciously realizing you’re doing so, chasing the pleasure his fingers brought you. You open your eyes blearily, wanting to see him, only to find that he’s studying that same spot again, right at the base of your neck. Jutting your chin up so that your throat is completely vulnerable, you give him a meaningful look.

He accepts the offer, teeth coming down to bite at your pulse point. The moan that escapes you is profane, dwindling to the pathetic whimper of an injured animal as he sucks at the skin where he bit, soothing it with his tongue. Your chest is next, ample cleavage on display for his lips to lock onto, sucking a hickey into the sensitive skin with ease. The hand that’s not fucking into you grips onto your waist to leave another bruise, pulling you impossibly closer.

You know what he’s doing- Marking what’s his, letting everyone know who you belong to. And you couldn’t care less about the perception of it, lost in the pleasure of his lips and the sensation of being owned. Arching into his mouth, your hands tangle in his hair as your legs start to quiver with unadulterated want.

“‘M close, Will I’m-” You pant, tugging at his hair desperately.

“I know, pretty girl, be good and come for me so I can fuck you properly.” He whispers into your neck, and that’s all it takes to hurtle you over the edge, shaking with your orgasm even as he replaces his fingers with his cock.

It’s so much more- more girth, more length. It stretches you, fills you up to the brim. You’re still in the aftershocks of coming as he starts fucking you in earnest, yanking you into his chest until you feel like you can’t get a breath in. You’re practically wailing, the sensitivity of getting fucked so quickly after orgasming overwhelming, but it’s perfect.

“You’re my girl, right?” He’s grunting, holding you stationary while his hips rock up into you at break-neck speed. “My pretty girl, all mine.”

You nod, incoherently babbling, “I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m yours-”

“Want my cum?” He pulls back just enough to look in your eyes. It’s all love there- an all-consuming love that illuminates his gaze like a flame. “Want me to fill you up? Put a baby in you- Keep a baby in you?”

You’re nodding again, unintelligible sounds falling from your lips in response. “Please.” You finally manage to stammer out.

He’s almost smiling, a joyous kind of pleasure overtaking his features as his thrusts grow erratic for the second time that evening. Your grip on him tightens as you feel yourself get closer and closer, tears springing in your eyes from the overstimulation.

It hits you like a fucking train, face curled into his neck in a silent scream, legs spasming in every direction. He fucks you through it, coming in hot spurts inside you, thrusts growing sloppier until he finally nestles himself deep within you, setting you down gently in his lap again.

You’re panting and trembling, completely collapsed against his chest. The both of you sit like that a few long minutes, his hand rubbing at the exposed part of your back soothingly. When you feel an iota of strength return to your body, you’re craning your neck up to kiss his cheek.

He’s grinning, turning to look down at you. “Well shucks, thanks for the kiss, honey.”

You’re giggling with him, pushing yourself up so that your back is straight. You hiss as the movement moves him inside your sore hole, a shudder passing through your body.

“You better cut that out, I’ll fuck you again if you’re not careful.” He warns teasingly, hands gripping your hips lightly.

You flash him a grin, and then ready yourself for the chore of him pulling out. You know it’s going to be tender, but you still yelp as he slips out of you. Flopping into your seat, you give yourself another minute to collect your breath. He tucks his cock away, zipping up his pants carefully and starting the car.

You zone out for a moment, only recognizing the long silence that has stretched between the two of you after a few minutes more have passed. You look over at him, a question on your lips, when the look on his face makes you pause.

He’s staring in between your legs, a small pout on his face. “It’s leaking out.”

You throw your head back, barking a laugh at his distress. “I have an IUD as well, my love, I don’t think it’ll work no matter how hard you try.”

His eyes go dark at your words. “Then I’ll just try harder next time.”

Before you can respond, the car is in drive, and you’re headed home. You quickly buckle your seat belt, pulling down the passenger mirror to clean yourself up, stopping when you catch the first glimpse of your reflection.

Your makeup has smeared everywhere. Black streaks run down your cheeks in rivulets, your lipstick smudged around your mouth. Your tits are littered with bruises, lovebites of various colors decorating your skin. You look like a slutty fucking mess, You think to yourself. You’re searching for a napkin to wipe your face when Will speaks up again.

“Leave it.” He flips on his turn signal, pulling onto your street. His jaw is tight, and you swear you can see a bulge in his trousers. He turns to look at you as he puts the car in park in front of your house, eyes already glossed over again. “Leave all of it.”

#will ramos x reader #will ramos smut #will ramos fanfiction #will ramos fanfic #cowpokeomens

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here2bbtstrash · 6 months

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as promised, here it is: The Big Life Update Post (aka m where the hell have u been and what the hell is going on with this blog)

TLDR: went thru it, came out better for it, i love y'all. and we're getting back into this writing thing as i have the time and capacity 🥳

2023 has been a bit of a whirlwind, to put it very mildly. while the first three months started off relatively smoothly, my saturn return began in the middle of march. only a few short weeks after that... well, i'd basically say everything went off the fucking rails.

content warning: drama talk incoming ft. extremely brief mentions of racism and racist hate mail (no specific details shared).

i haven't spoken on this yet since everything happened, and i want to be explicitly clear that i won't be speaking on it further after this post. but i just want you to understand where i've been at since april.

i will own it entirely and say: i fucked up. i put content in a story that i shouldn't have, that i had no business speaking on, and i think people were well within their right to call me out on it, one hundred percent. however, after i went offline at the end of april, my friends ended up learning that the person who initially stirred up all of the "tea", and submitted the first several anonymous posts about me to a hate blog, was actually someone i knew well and considered a friend.

this was someone whose stories i gladly beta'd, someone i consoled through multiple hard moments in their life, someone i actually even met in person. yep. this was also someone who had read the chapter of my story that featured the problematic content when it was released, and proceeded to send me paragraphs upon paragraphs of how much they enjoyed it, and the story as a whole. this is not to say that people can't change their minds on content after sitting with it, not at all. but to think that i had been through so much with this person, done so much to be there for them, and that they never once gave me any reason to think we were anything other than close friends. yet ultimately, they didn't feel they could come directly to me... or find quite literally any other way of dealing with the issue?

instead, they chose to send multiple messages about me to a hate blog, as well as hateful anons to several of my friends, thinking that we wouldn't know it was them (we did). not only that, but their actions encouraged an actual torrent of racist hate mail to be sent to all of my non-white friends who publicly chose to support me. ultimately, they ended up admitting all of this, and still, they never once apologized or showed even a single iota of remorsefulness or responsibility for the onslaught of vitriol they incited. (even though, you know, this whole thing was supposedly about how racism is bad.)

and this user is still on the platform, operating under a new blog name and pseudonym. so. that's fun. 💀

i don't say this to beat a dead horse, or to drum up sympathy, because i promise i don't want it. it's been long enough, i understand the mistakes i made, and i've done my part to take accountability for my actions. but i needed to start this post here to have you all understand where i was at the end of april - just in time for yoongi's tour 🤪 - in many ways, i felt like i had no friends, at least none that i could really trust. i felt unsure who might have been acting one way to my face, perhaps even praising me, but talking different about me behind my back. and it was beyond fucking nervewracking to think that i would be meeting so many friends IRL for the first time, quite literally days after what essentially felt like a public execution.

i wasn't doing well, to say the least.

and then... the funniest thing happened.

y'all showed the fuck up for me. in droves. in a way that i have quite literally never experienced in my lifetime and doubt i ever will again. even recounting it now is lowkey giving me chills. i received, literally, yes i counted, hundreds of DMs from the most incredibly kind people- on tumblr, on twitter, on discord, in AO3 comments. the vast majority of you wrote paragraphs: about what my stories have meant to you, about how you found my blog to be a safe space in the noise of the world, about how much you'd enjoyed our time together here. so many of you said something along the lines of "even if you never come back here again, please keep writing". honestly, for like a week straight all i could do was read my DMs and cry and cry and cry.

i didn't receive a single hateful DM. not one.

as if that alone isn't more blessings than i deserve in an entire lifetime, i also, you know. saw five shows of agust d on tour. (my credit card is still recovering.) spent two of the best nights of my life in pit getting a water bottle baptism and screaming myself hoarse. and met dozens of incredible moots, who held me when i cried, scream-laughed with me, and of course, drank plenty of booze with me.

at a time where i wondered to myself if i even had a single true friend in this fandom (or, like, in the world), you all showed me that i had so much more. that we had so much more-- we had a community. and i believe we still do. and i am more than ready to block out all the shit that doesn't matter and get back to having some fun around here.

in short: thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. if you sent me a sweet word, i promise you, i read it (and probably cried lmao). i wouldn't be doing any of this without you. i will never ever deserve all the love that you have shown me. but for as long as you'll have me, i'd love to have a fun stupid horny time in this little corner of the internet. as a part of our community. what a fucking gift it is. 🫶

phew. okay, so- that was april and may. it's november. what the fuck happened?

i knew i wanted to properly take time to get my head on straight before i found my way back to writing. what i wasn't expecting was to 1. fall in love, 2. get a new job, and 3. move myself and my cat approximately 800 miles across the country... but yeah, since the end of may, those 3 things are exactly what i've been doing!

i won't talk too much about my partner here, because our relationship is important enough to me that i want to keep it largely private, but my god. he is the most incredible human. i can't tell you how much of what i wrote out as silly little daydreams in my fanfiction has somehow manifested itself into this very real human being (like, it's kinda crazy lmao 🙈). i'm grateful for him every single day. and what makes it even more special is that we met for the first time in person while i was traveling for yoongi's tour - yep! he saw me going through so much upheaval, and fell for me all the same. just another thing i will never fully believe i deserve. but goddamn do i feel luckyyyyy 🥰

and in addition to my amazing partner (and in part because of him but honestly i had plans to move before i had even met this man it just happened to work out okay 🙄) i have also finally managed to do what i've been planning for the last year and a half, which is move my ass out of the southern suburbs where i'd been for nearly a decade, and to a ✨walkable city that actually has public transit✨ - what a fucking dream. i may have only been here 8 days, and i may not have much more to my name than my cat, my TV, and my mattress, but i swear to god, i've never been this happy in my entire life.

so yeah. exhale. like i said, it's been quite the year.

now i do want to end this with a small caveat, which is to say, i can't make a promise as to how much i can *be* here (particularly not compared to how terminally online i used to be lmao). i spent a lot of time online because i was unhappy and feeling very stuck with where i was in life, and i needed escapism, bad. now, i've finally gotten to a place where i'm excited to go out of my house and do things, but i still want to make intentional time for tumblr as a form of connection and community, and writing as a form of creative expression. these things are really important to me!!! i just ask that you give me some grace if i'm a little slow on the uptake. i promise i'm still here 🥰

and writing is gonna happen!!! i can't say much more than that, because tbh i haven't so much as opened a google doc since april, but i've been itching to get back to it. maybe.... we might start off....... with some........... drabble requests??? 👀 we'll see we'll see we'll see hehe.

in any case, i think that's more than enough for now 🤪 oh how i've missed babbling to you all, the gay people in my phone. i hope you're well, and if ya feel so inclined, i'd love it if you'd send me a comment or a DM on what you've been up to in the many months it's been since we've spoke! what's new in your life? what are we manifesting??

talk so so soon, eeeeee~ i'm so happy to be back~ love you babes!!! 🤍

#mposting #quite literally the longest mpost of all time #if you read the whole thing i LOVE YOU #if you don't i understand lmao i too have adhd

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yridenergyridenergy · 19 days

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Is there a way to know if members are healthy and feeling well? Shinya's last video, he looked really really thin, the voice note on his last blog update felt sick and tired. The tour was very compact, the bus looked uncomfortable (for musicians over 45 years old, I mean, c'mon). They must be resting now, but I feel that their company is exhausting them for the sake of saving/gaining more money. I don't know if it's just me, and I'm worrying for no reason. Does the company even do routine check-ups on their health? Is it reasonable for us as fans to ask this to their management?

Shinya always has a particular voice, but I haven't heard that voice note that you mention. It's no news that Shinya is incredibly skinny, as even h.Naoto's assistant commented that he was the only one that she could wrap the dark tunic on at the smallest holes/size and she seemed surprised.

Traveling and being on a plane in general tends to make people sick, so if he did hit a bad patch, hopefully he is getting better now that he is back in Japan.

For Shinya, I have my own opinion, but at the end of the day, I'll trust that he is a midlife adult who must have at least learned how to manage maintaining that size in a sustainable way.

Nobody on the band has been outspoken about the downsides of touring overseas this year except Kyo, and I'm always baffled by how much Kyo is allowed to complain so publicly about his own management hah. Good for him, and I mean, he's an artist and their primary one when you think about it, so you can't really restrain him much.

It's difficult for me to form an opinion on the management's frugal tendencies when I don't actually see numbers. All I know is that Kyo is able to afford Gucci, expensive toys, etc. and when that impersonator was arrested, from what I understood, he assured us that he wouldn't have ever needed to ask for loans like that. Whatever sacrifices the band is making to apparently make touring abroad profitable at least translates into them being well paid, even if that's just from performing in Japan.

Money also may play only a small role into the decision to have them sleep on a bus and only carry one luggage each. Extra luggage would have to be checked in and could get lost. Checking into hotels, where fans are also staying, presents its own series of issues.

Either way, Kyo had mentioned going to see a doctor in a monthly birthday video on kyo-online (I won't give more details but it was a super minor issue, don't worry) and I think even in another type of content where it sounded more like a regular checkup.

Ultimately, they are adults, they're the main moneymakers fo sun-krad and I'm sure that they would be able to push back against at least future decisions if their health could be jeopardized in the long term. Kyo had mentioned in 2012-2013 that he had warned his management time and time again that the grueling schedule of their tours and shows would grind down his throat, so it was no surprise to him when it became so bad that he needed surgery and the band had to go on a hiatus. I'm sure that everyone learned from that, and Kyo's singing has been spot-on every time I have seen him since 2015 or so.

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fortheloveofaussiegrit · 11 months

Text

@fortheloveofaussiegrit 's deep dive into Mark and his love of twinks...

Sebastian Vettel

Where does one even start when trying to explain this... that's his twink of the past, present, and future— his forever. [first: debatable but the beginning of martian at the Fuji GP 2007 when Seb crashed into the back of Mark ruining both of their races, they were running 2nd and third. second: the day i lost my sanity, Abu Dhabi 2022]

Oscar Piastri

His twink of the present [i don't think i need to say anything... but photos above are from Mark's website from his blog post about Oscar winning the F2 championship and how Mark stayed in Abu Dhabi with Oscar after the GP for the young driver f1 test...]

Mitch Evans

Without Mitch we wouldn’t have got Oscar/Mark... (this is what oscarmark could’ve been but not sure i would’ve been able to handle oscar posting mark the way mitch did) Started in 2010, Mark then went on to manage him and Mitch even moved into Mark’s home in England, down the drive but point still stands [first: Mark Webber takes protege on birthday tour, 2010 (speedcafe.com) second: Mark embracing Mitch after he took maiden victory in Formula E, 2019 (📷Sam Bloxham) bottom two: from Mitch’s IG circa 2014]

Daniel Ricciardo

i like that belt buckle mate [first/second: F1 Paddock 2013 (📷skysports.com) third: Mark & Daniel’s BBQ on the beach ahead of the Aus GP 2011 (📷flickr) fourth/fifth: Dutch GP 2022.]

Fernando Alonso

again do i need to say anything? i think this sums it up (thank you to @seafoampearlygirl for the screen shot and your help too, much appreciated!!

and this... [Jenson Button, Giancarlo Fisichella, Fernando Alonso & Mark Webber for Benetton Renault 2001 F1 launch]

Lewis Hamilton

If there's one thing about Mark that you need to know its his love of twinks with world championships... @mwebber has a post here on these two! Mark always loves talking about Lewis and the way they look at each other.. [first: Mark and Lewis during the post-qualy presser at the Spanish GP, 2010 (📷Sutton Images) second: during the pre-race presser at the Aus GP, 2013 (📷Hoch Zwei) third: Abu Dhabi GP, 2017 (📷James Moy)]

Nico Rosberg

from teammates at Williams to Mark snapping pics of the back of Nico in 2023… [first: Mark talking to test driver Nico Rosberg during the German GP, 2005 (📷Pakusch) second: Monaco ePrix 2023]

Max Verstappen

like i said... twinks with championships [first: ‘bumped into these two over easter and managed a few k on the trails’ Apr, 2018 (Mark’s FB) second: Hangar-7, 2019]

Felipe Massa

yeah... [first: Brazil 2012, i think (📷sky-sports.com) second: Brazil 2013 (📷xpb images)]

Brendon Hartley

he’s already featured a few times, but from rbr junior driver to teammate... yeah.. is there a pattern? [first: Spanish GP 2009 (📷DPPI Images) second: Brendon, Mark & Timo after winning the 6 hours of Bahrain and the WEC Drivers Championship 2015 (📷fiawec.com)]

Jenson Button

and finally we get to Jenson Button, who, yes, is younger than Mark so makes it onto the list... the ultimate twink on twink... you cannot tell me this wasnt a couples holidays covered up as ‘training’. you cannot tell me they were not fumbling around in their bedsheets at night. you cannot tell me— [redacted redacted redacted] — [pre-season training session in Lanzarote, Spain. 4 Jan 2001 📷Mark Thompson]

#i had this idea and had to run with it #this is just a bit of fun #please please take this with a side of delulu #if ive missed anyone let me know cos ive got another 4 ppl i wanted to add so i’ll do a part 2 #mark/brendon #mark/lewis #mark/nico #mark/mitch #mark/max #mark/jense #mark/dan #mark/nando #seb/mark #oscarmark

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dozing-marshmallow · 5 months

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Hello! I was reading your Nibling reader and chris stuff.

Thought maybe I could request one(if that's okay-)

How about one with Nibling on total drama world tour that's terrified/disturbed by Sierra? (like I am now-shes creepy) like, they will go to the other side of the plan just to get away from her. Even if it means avoiding people they like(even Chris at one point) but then it gets to the point that Reader legit begs Chris to kick her off.

Kinda dark, but now whenever I see how Sierra treats Cody, it upsets me-)

Hope you have a wonderful day/night!^^

I hope you’ve been having wonderful days yourself! I’m so sorry I took a long time with this one my dear, I really hope you enjoy it and that it was worth the wait😵❤️!!

CHRIS MCLEAN’S NIBLING! READER HEADCANONS (PART 8)

Chris didn’t think through Sierra’s position on the show.

“Hm, Gwen... There’s something I wanted to tell you since I first saw you.” you swift your curious words up to the goth girl.

“Oh? What’s that, (Y/N)?” what did you want to say to her that you couldn’t before?

“Your hair... It looks like Coraline’s, doesn’t it?” the cyan black brushes upon her shoulders,“The colour, the length...”

Her facial features shake in surprise,“No way! You know that film?”

Who doesn’t!?,“Of course I do!”

“Who was your favourite character?” she asked electrified.

“The actors, Miss Spink and Miss Forcible!” you declare,“That scene where they were doing acrobatics had to be one of my favourite moments in the film!” you didn’t need to watch said scene physically for your mind to fly in amazement.

Gwen agreed, smiling with you,“I second that! But Other Father’s song has to take the ultimate cake for me.”

“Fair!” now time for the real question,“Do you think Coraline ever escaped?”

Gwen gives a tiny squeal, the happiest you’ve seen her with you,“I have been waiting to talk about this with someone!” She’s excited to discuss it. So were you.

Until Sierra walks in.

“Gwen, is it fine if we talk down there?” like excitement, your voice lowered, with your hand tugging her sleeve.

“How come?”

“Be...Behind.”

Gwen only had taken half a glance to inhale through her teeth and comply. By nature, shifting down to the other end of the economy class guaranteed no invisibility as Sierra sprinted to you,“OMG! It’s cousin and bridesmaid! Everyone on my blog has been dying to get some more nibling and contestant interactions! And I get to witness it in person, face to face...!” her voice sharpened down to a whisper at the last part, before steaming back up,“What are we talking about??”

“Erm...we weren’t talking about anything.” you couldn’t hold strict concentration on her, you might turn into stone,“I remember Chris said he needed to talk to me about something. Maybe next time.” you whisper to Gwen,“Sorry. We can talk about it later.”

Gwen nods as you hurry to the front of the plane, leaving her with Sierra.

“Uh...” she wasn’t a fan of her company either,“I should probably go check up on Leshawna.”

“Leshawna?” Sierra’s shriek did nothing to stop the goth from walking out,“Wasn’t she eliminated?”

Fast forward to another conversation she ruined.

“Uncle, do you remember the first time you flew on a plane?” you asked him in the middle of the first class section.

“Oh ho ho...” he had himself sat down in one of the golden seats. You know it’s gonna be good,“How could I forget? It was chaos! For a start, your nana lost her purse during security check so we spent an hour helping her find it. We thought we were gonna miss our plane, until they announced it would be delayed for three boring hours. When we did get on, we were seven hours in the air before turning back, because the plane we boarded had a faulty air pressure and there was a hurricane.”

...Wow. You could count on his stories for being wild, but a hurricane on top of a faulty pressure? That sounds like too much stress for one childhood,“That sounds so scary!”

He laughed,“Sure was! Your mom was crying for hours. She thought we were gonna like die.”

Of course!,“Eh? Didn’t you?” If you had been there, you would have responded the same!

“I diiid, but death comes for us all eventually. I’ve had near-death experiences growing up, so the whole thing just felt like missing the school bus. What can I do? I’m walking proof that God has favourites!” your uncle was awesome, but he can be quite a stretch. Still, you get what he’s thinking.

“...Do you think we’ll get any hurricanes?” your naive conscience was now screaming with dystopias of the plane crashing.

“Maybe. If we do, it’ll be one heck of an episode!” if you didn’t know better, you would have thought he wanted it to happen.

From the corner of your eye, you see Sierra finishing with forcing affection around Cody’s cheeks. She was now by herself.

Don’t come here...

Chris noticed first that you were stepping away.

“Something wrong, (Y/N)? Is there a hurricane coming?” it was meant to be a joke, but somehow was applicable.

“Chris... Please.” you gestured him to move with you, to which he responded in facial confusion. Why. Why didn’t he see you wanted to get away from her? Why was he still sitting there?

If keeping distance from your uncle meant you could avoid awful Sierra, so be it!

Speak of the striking devil...

“Aww! Aren’t I soooo lucky to witness my very favourite family bond!” she gushes, hurling her camera out from nowhere,“Can I take a photo of this for the fans?”

“Erm sure...” though you weren’t exactly spending time with Chris anymore.

“Smiiiile!” you don’t. She puts her camera down and gives you a saddening look,“Why so down, cousin? Is it because you don’t have any siblings or other cousins to play with? Oh, cousin! Don’t worry, don’t worry! My mom’ll be sure to give you some!”

“Huh?” what did her mother have to do with it?

Chris knew, by immediately remembering the last time Sierra opened her mouth around you,“That’s enough, Sierra.”

“But it’s true, Chris! You know you wanna marry my mom! We’ll all be one happy family! We’ll never cut ties!” delusion drives her voice as she rubbed her thumb on your palm, staring right into your eyes,“Did he ever tell you how babies are made?”

Okay.

That was a question you frequently thought about.

But with Sierra looking at you with that devious grin...

You lost it.

You took your hand back,“Leave me alone! I don’t want to know! I don’t want you to tell me!” you start crying. Why couldn’t she leave anyone alone?!,“I don’t like you! I don’t like you! I don’t like you!”

For someone who wanted kids, she was terrible with them!,“Now you’ve done it, Sierra...” Chris groaned at the girl whose rare panic tore her face, his arm shielding you,“Couldn’t keep that mouth zipped for a minute, huh?”

You’re brought into Chris’ quarters where he silently grasped you in his arms. You felt like a burden to your uncle, but you knew he would tell you that if it were true.

“Chriiis, I don’t like Sierra...” you sniffle, mouth sandpaper dry,“She keeps thinking we’re cousins and she keeps getting close to me! She never listens to me! Can you kick her off? Please, uncle?”

“I know, (Y/N).” he spoke, unmoved,“But I can only influence how the game plays. I can’t directly do anything, especially when Sierra is a huge attraction for ratings. It’s Team Amazon that makes the call to let her go.”

So... All you need to do is convince the rest of her team to vote for her? That should be a piece of cake, the superfan was unpopular with everyone. You wouldn’t be surprised if they already were voting for her.

“I’ll promise you that the next time we have Team Amazon voting and majority of their votes are for Sierra, I won’t decide to make it a reward challenge last minute.”

“Are you sure, uncle?” he was infamous for breaking his word,“Your fingers aren’t crossed, are they?”

He takes his hands up above you. Not a finger crossed,“Promise.”

You felt a little relieved that Sierra’s fate was partially determined,“Mm... What should I do then?”

“Just wait a little longer... She’ll be gone soon.” his words were a succour, but the sound of his voice makes you think

Will it really be soon...?

#tdi #total drama #chris mclean #tdi x reader #td chris #request #chris mclean x reader #total drama island chris #total drama chris mclean #td chris mclean x reader #uncle chris mclean #chris nibling reader #nibling #nibling reader

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teenagedirt · 8 months

Note

hmmm could you do a johnnie guilbert x male reader where the reader plays in a band and finally gets off tour and they can spend time together irl after like, 6 months of touring n face timing? sorry if this is kinda long ;<; just found ur blog n I love it :3

Finally

Johnnie guilbert X masc reader.

Note: I've never written masc reader before, so if there is anyway I could improve plz tell me, always live constructive criticism! Really short (I'm having writers block, I'm so sorry)

Your pov:

I had told a lie. Not a big one of course. The good kind of lie. I told my boyfriend that me and the band wanted to spend sometime in the city of the last show; not true at all, as much as I liked seeing the fans, it was a shithole.

I made my way home, trying to be quick, I wanted to see him so badly. I pull inot the driveway, his car parked like usual. I smile to myself and get out of my car, leaving my stuff in the car.

I knock in the door, he never thinks to look who's standing there before answering, so I hope it's the ultimate surprise. "Hello- OH MY GOD? YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE HOME" he engulfs me in a tight hugs, just lie everytime I come home, I hug back of course.

"I wanted to surprise you babe" I say.

"Your the best boyfriend" that comment makes me smile, forgetting about my stuff in the car for now, we decided it would be best for us to spend quality time together. On he couch, with snack, watching a movie, with him laying on my chest.

He got the snacks, while I got the movie on, he lays down, head resting on my chest, my fingers gently running through his hair. His eyes fixated the screen, mine fixed on him. Eventually in true johnnie fashion he falls asleep, I don't don't bother moving him, he moves in his sleep, cuddling more into me, I see down at him. "Baby?" he says softly, i only hum in response, "why didn't you just wake me up or move me?"

"Because, I love the way you cuddled mire into me in your sleep, and I haven't been able to cuddle you in months, I'm getting all I can"

"Good" he says, putting his head back down, and going back to sleep, his hands gripping my shirt, and I smile at the sight.

👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻

Thank you for ur request, im so glad u love my blog! Crazy to think I just started writing April of this year!

Im very sorry this is so short!!!

Next fic: johnnie X fem reader smut (request)

If yall can't tell, I'm not very good at writing smut, so I only write if asked, cause either very awkward😭

#masc reader #fanfic #x reader #stories #fluff #fanfiction #emo #emo boy #johnnie guilbert

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imavoraciousreader · 2 years

Photo

MG | Fantasy

#The Write Reads #Ultimate Blog Tour #blog tour #book tour #book bloggers #fantasy #middle grade

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ohgaylor · 1 year

Text

IT MUST BE EXHAUSTING (AN ANALYSIS)

Hi. Taylor’s the problem. And she knows it. (affectionate)

All right friends. It’s time to dive into an analysis again. I’ve been reflecting on a lot of Midnights and Taylor’s ever-present self-deprecation this era and in my regular fashion, I had to make an extremely long-winded analysis post about a certain motif of hers that I’ve noticed has only grown more apparent this time around. and essentially that is her self-awareness toward her ever-ambiguous signaling in regard to her identity, and where she is positioned in the complicated and delicate journey of coming out, as well as the plethora of emotions that surround that for both herself and her fans and those of us who pick up on the queer coded subtext of her music and art.

to kick off this analysis, may I remind you of this beauty of a quote from Taylor’s 2018 reputation tour pride speech that prefaced Delicate?

I want to send my love and respect to everybody who in their journey and in their life hasn't yet felt comfortable enough to come out ... and may you do that on your own time and may we end up with a world where everyone can live and love equally and no one has to be afraid to say how they feel. When it comes to feelings and when it comes to love and searching for someone to spend your whole life with, it’s all just really really delicate.

That is quite possibly my favorite thing she’s ever said. and what inspired this tag.

Now I need to clarify up front — I am never insinuating a need or even desire for Taylor to come out. Because that’s not our place to say. If you’ve been around my blog long enough, I would hope that nuance would be apparent. I simply point out regular motifs and patterns within her art and how it correlates with queer-coded themes of closets, of almost coming out, of outright queer coding, of rainbows, of keeping a love secret and safe, and on and on and on. The signs are there if you know what to look for (re: “I gave so many signs”) and that’s what I explore on my blog. The point is, I will never demand she come out. But I will stand with her in this complex journey she appears to be on. It’s entirely her journey and however she wishes to navigate that is hers to decide.

but that doesn’t detract from the reality that for those of us who see this beautiful queer subtext of her art and music and visuals and work and self, the ambiguity and constant back-and-forth when it comes to her identity (and the idea of coming out) can in fact be a lot to try and process and understand and ultimately to reconcile as we root for her. Trying to understand where she stands is much like chasing a moving target. (not that she owes any explanation to us, because again, she doesn’t.) her art and creativity are her place of expression and catharsis. however, watching her navigate these complexities and trying to root for her in this sometimes messy space is also, dare I say, exhausting.

hence, the title and general theme of this analysis.

so let’s begin.

First, we have this verse in Anti-Hero which is the perfect setup to illustrate this specific motif,

I should not be left to my own devices They come with prices and vices I end up in crises Tale as old as time

This is essentially the thesis of Taylor’s message, the feeling that her own judgement and actions might be the very cause for certain crises she finds herself in, however enticing those vices and choices may be. In choosing to straddle a glass-closeted lifestyle as an artist at her status and level of fame, all the while heavily queer-coding to her (receptive) audiences, only to be seen by most others as the hallmark of straight women as per her highly publicized bearding, juggling this all can be overwhelming. But it’s also a space that she has essentially curated and perpetuated herself.

An anti-hero is a central character in a narrative who conspicuously lacks heroic, moral qualities:

Although antiheroes may sometimes perform actions that are morally correct, it is not always for the right reasons, often acting primarily out of self-interest or in ways that defy conventional ethical codes.

Identifying herself as the anti-hero in this sense comes as a candid confession, as though she is admitting that maybe she is driven by self-interest. (which again, she is entitled to as we all are in our own lives.) (re: the jokes weren’t funny, I took the money, my friends at home don’t know what to say) Alternatively, and perhaps additionally, acting out of self-interest in this context may mean concealment of parts of her identity for the sake of self-preservation. The nuances behind why she hasn’t chosen to come out are at play here and I doubt any of us can fully comprehend what that is exactly.

I never had the courage of my convictions, as long as danger is near

Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn’t pour the whiskey

Combat, I'm ready for combat. I say I don't want that, but what if I do? 'Cause cruelty wins in the movies. I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you … Dark side, I search for your dark side. But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?

You can easily grasp the intense oscillation as she goes back and forth between these decisions while juggling a myriad of reasons and factors, all of which are incredibly weighted. She knows it’s exhausting for us because it’s that much more exhausting for herself.

So, she elects to pursue a route all too familiar to closeted individuals in the public eye, one of bearding and concealing their identity.

I had some tricks up my sleeve … Perched in the dark, telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear, like it could be love, I could be the way forward, only if they pay for it … the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up

I took the money. My friends from home don't know what to say.

The cost at which this lifestyle comes is worthy of an analysis all on its own. But Taylor seems to be indicating that she has found safety and security in her self-made cages and closets of sorts.

I prefer hiding in plain sight

‘Cause shade never made anybody less gay

If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break

My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences*, pageant queens and big pretenders. But for some, it was paradise.

In the darkest little paradise

(also, note the *fences. I’ll come back to that later.)

She brings focus to the fact that her town was full of cages and fences, which initially may carry a negative connotation. But here’s where she turns it around and says that for some, it was place of paradise, that the self-made cages brought security and freedom. That the idea of “forever” is in fact the sweetest con. That the good life she was hustling for through the tricks she had up her sleeve is within grasp. That this could be the way forward. Tell me that doesn’t scream a queer-coded experience?

But knowing Taylor and the complicated nature of this deeply personal topic, there is also a level of remorse regarding the said-cages and choices that had put her in crisis.

I cut off my nose just to spite my face, then hate my reflection for years and years

I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you

I’d pay if you’d just know me

Now, despite the way she has managed to remain glass-closeted, a large subset of her fans and the general public completely miss what she is signaling in regard to her queerness. (re: “I gave so many signs / you didn’t even see the signs”) but it appears she is feeling some remorse for the devices she’s used and the way she’s navigated things because she knows that she’ll be the one paying for it.

So again, Taylor fully acknowledges she’s the problem. She endlessly dances around the topic, sometimes to an extreme (re: “bent the truth too far tonight,” Bettygate and specifying a male perspective despite widespread interpretation of the alternative; similar thing with Lavendergate, etc etc) She writes from “male perspectives” so as to have a way to write female pronouns. She uses pseudonyms for similar motives. She equates herself with gay pride and places herself adjacent to the community repeatedly, and dances in Gaylor Park and rainbow kaleidoscopes. She dresses in rainbow attire and gives speeches emphasizing the delicacy of coming out and on and on, all while also remaining straight-passing. It’s complicated and messy and indeed exhausting.

sending signals to be double-crossed

I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

no doubt these devices and choices have come at a cost. first, the personal cost of remaining closeted (or in the very least, glass closeted) by her own making. The nature by which she has driven her career, of “taking the money” and pursuing a career (and by extension, following heteronormative cultural standards of remaining closeted), all point to the self-made cages she twists in.

recall the Delicate pride speech…

I want to send my love and respect to everybody who in their journey and in their life hasn't yet felt comfortable enough to come out ... and may you do that on your own time

That is a major theme for her. The idea that through a closeted state, certain freedoms can coexist.

We know Taylor has made a point to emphasize the comfort she has found in keeping elements of her life to herself post her apocalyptic summer. And the way she has largely receded her personal life from the public eye is telling. In an effort to protect the “real stuff”, she is withholding from others and has found safety in that.

Privacy sign on the door and on my page and on the whole world, romance is not dead if you keep it just yours.

She knows it’s not always a world that some would choose to be a part of. She describes it as a wasteland, likely desolate, harkening back to cowboy like me. A place where hustling for the good life, perching in the dark as con artists (or pageant queens and big pretenders) and telling all the rich folks anything they want to hear like “it could be love” is all too familiar.

It’s a painful dichotomy she fully explores in The Archer, recognizing that maybe it’s her lot in life to straddle these lines of staying where she is, perched in the dark, while wanting to step into the daylight and let it go.

and that’s where the second cost comes in — in how those of us who see her for what she is signaling herself to be, are ultimately left to ourselves to make sense of it.

It’s the same kind of essence of this fantastic analysis regarding coney island and her apology of not making us certain subsets of her fans and communities her centerfold.

Being left to her own devices, she has ultimately crafted a duplicitous persona, of which she has spoken about specifically when discussing mirrorball…

Everybody else feels like they have to be on for certain people. You have to be different versions of yourself for different people. Different versions at work, different versions around friends, different versions of yourself around different friends. Different version of yourself around family. Everybody has to be duplicitous, or feels that they have to in some ways, be duplicitous. And that’s part of the human experience, but it’s also exhausting. You kind of learn that every one of us has the ability to become a shape-shifter. But what does that do to us?

Is it self-preservation? Or self-made self-destruction? (re: “they told me all of my cages were mental” “what a shame she’s fucked in the head” “lost in the labyrinth of my mind”)

Among the various anxieties that plague her in regard to this subject, Taylor makes one fear very clear. And that is for some inevitable day where we will leave her after we’ve had enough of “her scheming”.

'Cause they see right through me, they see right through me, they see right through. Can you see right through me?

I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'Cause you got tired of my scheming For the last time

These desperate prayers of a cursed man spilling out to you for free, but darling, darling, please, you wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking if you knew where I was walking

Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

She will get as close as she can to the topic, (“Gay pride… everything that makes me me!” to name just one) only to pull back or leave it ambiguous and devoid of clarity…

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face Then I hate my reflection for years and years

…only to feel guilt for skirting around the topic…

You said I was freeloading … I bent the truth too far tonight, I was dancing around, dancing around it … Your picket fence is sharp as knives, I was dancing around, dancing around it

This to me is the a significant price that comes from her being left to her own devices. Yes, there is freedom that comes from closeting/bearding. But glass closeting brings a more painful mess of emotions for both the closet-er and those seeing it for what it is. This is what she addresses in Anti-Hero with painful clarity.

And sometimes this can come at a painful cost. Take YNTCD for example. In this video, she positions herself within the queer community, dancing in Gaylor Park, and boldly declares herself an advocate for LGBTQIA rights.

But as we know, the video was met by many as out-of-touch (re: “freeloading”), performative and whatever else critics were spewing.

motion capture put me in a bad light. I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where I went wrong. writing letters addressed to the fire

Now for a detour.

I want to talk about the purple / blue / lavender glitter for a minute. Here, in the Directors on Directors interview, Taylor describes the glitter as being a metaphor for herself...

It’s supposed to be a metaphor for like, I bleed glitter, I’m not normal, there’s something wrong with me, I’m not a person, I don’t belong, I don’t fit in anywhere.

Recall how I said chasing a moving target?

Let’s talk about the significance of this scene and a handful of others in terms of the lavender glitter.

[For some queer context regarding glitter]

I’d first like to point out Hayley Kiyoko’s purple glitter jacket above, from the YNTCD video. This is Hayley Kiyoko we’re talking about. The proclaimed Lesbian Jesus. And in this moment, while she is wearing the purple glitter jacket, she is aiming an arrow at a target, signifying The Archer. This moment is key.

And then you have the Miss Americana documentary, wherein Taylor explicitly equates herself with gay pride, while talking about the Me! music video.

It’s a line of dialogue that screams at me with such intensity. Irrefutable. As a film editor, I know that every line in a film is deliberately placed and thought out and meticulously addressed. And therefore we can trust that Taylor intended for this line to make it into the film. I can tell that surrounding dialogue is seemingly trimmed and crafted in a delicate way. And part of that is the very direct statement that “Gay pride…everything that makes me, me!”

And it’s within this music video that we again witness a massive “ME!” literally jumping out at us on screen, in none other than purple glitter.

A handful of others could sense that the conclusion of Miss Americana felt as thought it was headed in a different direction than the one it ultimately took. And that for whatever reason, Taylor’s political advocacy took center stage while a deeper analysis regarding her LGBTQIA advocacy did not.

Cut back to the Anti-Hero music video where we get The Archer aiming right for Taylor, and striking her, causing her to bleed, yet again, purple glitter.

Pierced through the heart but never killed… did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism, like some kind of congressman

My covert (secret) narcissism (ME!) I disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman (the political turn and advocacy present in Miss Americana)

In other words, covering up who she is (“gay pride… everything that makes me me!”) under the guise of a film almost exclusively focused on her journey of discovering her political (“Vote for me for everything” pin) activist voice. And what scene depicts this with near precision???

this one.

motion capture put me in a bad light. I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where I went wrong. writing letters addressed to the fire

'cause cruelty wins in the movies, I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

The subsequent look on her face of absentminded agony says it all. She knows the confusion that comes from rooting for her as (especially if she is seen as an ally who maybe crosses one too many lines if presumably as straight.)

The inner-turmoil on display for us in The Archer has transformed into a tone all too exhausted in its own right within Anti-Hero. She knows we’re tired. She’s tired too. In a self-deprecating jab, she admits that she is the problem and she knows that everybody ultimately agrees with her on this. Shielded within a pop anthem, her vulnerability is on display. And so, in Dear Reader, with equal parts desperation as well as wit, she concludes…

You should find another guiding light, guiding light. But I shine so bright.

And so it is ultimately within this utterly messy, exhausting, complicated, ever-changing and nuanced journey that Taylor reaches out to those of us who do in fact see through her and who ultimately simply see her, that she asks us in all sincerity…

Who could stay? Who could stay? Who could stay? You could stay.

And I, for one, will stay.

[enjoy my other analyses here]

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harryandmeghansussex · 6 months

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@HarryAndMeghanSussex's Invictus Fashion Favourites ✨

Starting with two honourable mentions that I don't feel we saw enough of - closing ceremony as a girlfriend, and private family reception at this year's - to declare them Her Five Best Invictus Looks© but I love them nonetheless.

The colour on the left is just stunning on her and I always love a full on monochrome moment for Meghan, whether neutral or colour. And the fit and style on the left just feels so Meghan, chic and classic, but still fitting of the occasion, not over done or too casual, just perfect.

Starting us off strong in #5 is...

Meghan's first Invictus outing just had to be included right? That Husband shirt sales went sky rocketing, and that outfit straight away made it to fashion blogs, pinned on Pinterest boards and set the perfect introduction to new Meg fans about her style.

In at #4

Black and white, striking a perfect balance of casual enough, but formal enough, idk what it is about this outfit in particular but I remember that tour and this outfit in particular not for me being a stand out at the time until I did a fashion round up afterwards, and it just made sense to me. Chic as heck and it feels like an elevated outfit that seems both polished and like she could have just thrown it together.

Entering the top three, bronze medal position goes to...

I ADORE this and it's not just a favourite Invictus outfit, but a favourite overall. I generally can't even pinpoint why I love it so much, but she's just nailed it. I think the balance of being casual enough to be basically a spectator at a sporting event, while also formal enough for the significance of the role she plays, to have enough of a ~fashion moment~ because everyone's watching, while not going OTT, I don't know it's a tricky balance and this just hits it.

My top two very much could go back and forth and probably will switch but today silver goes to...

This is how you do neutral and it still be a moment. Classic and chic, modern and elegant, even in blurry audience shots of this look, I knew it was a winner.

And in the winning spot, my ultimate Meghan Invictus look is....

Meg in Valentino. Winning.

Iconic. Show stopping. A moment. All the descriptions, yet nothing will do it justice. Loved it then, love it now. Beautiful in photos, incredible in motion. No words. 🏆

So those are my thoughts, we'll see what future Invictus looks crack the best of the best - how much does your top five differ from mine? 😆🥰

#meghan fashion #people said they still wanted to see this post even though its a lot later than I'd planned #meghan markle #duchess of sussex

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franklyimissparis · 1 day

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out of mclennon and milex, which do u think is more likely to have actually happened? i swear ur blog is like my exact niche lmao

hi anon! glad to find a fellow fan of both :))

i think, in terms of the quality and depth of evidence, mclennon is probably more likely in my opinion. like i am 100% certain that john was queer and had feelings for paul but i change my mind about what actually happened between the two of them beyond that fact on basically a daily basis.

in my opinion (don’t kill me lol) the evidence for mclennon runs super deep whereas the evidence for milex is a little bit more surface level. obviously milex have been more outwardly affectionate (i.e. any performance during the eycte tour) but quite a bit of the evidence deffo borders on us standing around w our tinfoil hats on lmfao (but don’t get me wrong i love it!! and there definitely is still some great evidence/suspicious things and i do have my suspicions abt what happened between them)

like i wouldn’t be super shocked to find out that miles and alex are actually just besties but i would genuinely be very surprised if there wasn’t something queer going on with john and paul (even if it was never acted on.)

ultimately all of my speculating is just a bit of fun and though i do have my beliefs about both, i am completely comfortable with the fact that we will never know the full truth either way and honestly? i like it that way. the mystery is what makes it fun for me, as a history and literature enthusiast lmao, to piece things together and make my own interpretations and conclusions from lyrics, etc.

(that said if anything comes out abt any of them i will lose my mind and tell all of my friends and family i told you so but anyway 😭)

#would love to hear your thoughts tho anon hehe #mclennon #milex #beatles rpf #john lennon #paul mccartney #john and paul #miles kane #alex turner

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theharlotofferelden · 10 months

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In putting the full article under the readmore in case some folks have issues getting past the paywall. But the main things of note are:

They were warned 5 yrs ago (2018) that forgoing traditional assessment could lead to “catastrophic” problems with the Titanic mission.

A letter was issued to Stockton Rush (CEO of Oceangate) by 3 dozen people (that consisted of industry leaders, deep sea explorers, and oceanographers) warning the company of the dangers their experimental vessel posed.

Oceangate’s director of Marine Operations, David Lochridge, also raised concerns about the vessel’s safety, and was later sued by Stockton Rush for “sharing confidential information from the company”.

Lochridge also revealed that none of the passengers would be made aware of the dangers the vessel posed.

Specifically: the viewport that let’s passengers see outside the craft was only certified to work up to depths of 1,300 meters. Trips to the Titanic are 4,000 meters below the surface.

Lochridge also reported in court documents that he had urged the company to get an official assessment, but had been told by Oceangate they refused to pay for it.

Another warning came from 38 experts in the submersible craft industry, all of which were members of the Marine Technology society that promotes, studies and teaches the public about ocean technology.

Their letter said Oceangate’s marketing of Titan was misleading. Notably that they claimed the safety standards of Titan would “meet or exceed” the safety standards of a risk assessment company known as DNV, despite having no plans to get the submersible assessed by the DNV.

Oceangate wrote a blog post in 2019 claiming the vessel was so innovative, it could take years to get certified by assessment agencies.

“Bringing an outside entity up to speed on every innovation before it is put into real-world testing is anathema to rapid innovation.”

Stockton Rush also commented similarly: “There hasn’t been an injury in the commercial sub industry in over 35 years,” he told Smithsonian magazine in a profile published in 2019. “It’s obscenely safe because they have all these regulations. But it also hasn’t innovated or grown — because they have all these regulations.”

As such, this is why they use submersibles instead of submarines; they’re largely not regulated in international waters, which is how they circumvent US regulations and the National Guard.

Also it’s worth noting that the passengers on board were very likely aware of the dangers: Last year, a CBS reporter joined one of their expeditions and had to sign paperwork (before getting onboard) that warned the Titan was an “experimental vessel” that had not been “approved or certified by any regulatory body, and could result in physical injury, emotional trauma or death.”

Years before OceanGate’s submersible craft went missing in the Atlantic Ocean with five people onboard, the company faced several warnings as it prepared for its hallmark mission of taking wealthy passengers to tour the Titanic’s wreckage.

It was January 2018, and the company’s engineering team was about to hand over the craft — named Titan — to a new crew who would be responsible for ensuring the safety of its future passengers. But experts inside and outside the company were beginning to sound alarms.

OceanGate’s director of marine operations, David Lochridge, started working on a report around that time, according to court documents, ultimately producing a scathing document in which he said the craft needed more testing and stressed “the potential dangers to passengers of the Titan as the submersible reached extreme depths.”

Two months later, OceanGate faced similarly dire calls from more than three dozen people — industry leaders, deep-sea explorers and oceanographers — who warned in a letter to its chief executive, Stockton Rush, that the company’s “experimental” approach and its decision to forgo a traditional assessment could lead to potentially “catastrophic” problems with the Titanic mission.

Now, as the international search for the craft enters another day, more is coming to light about the warnings leveled at OceanGate as the company raced to provide extreme tourism for the wealthy.

A spokesman for OceanGate declined to comment on the five-year-old critiques from Mr. Lochridge and the industry leaders. Nor did Mr. Lochridge respond to a request for comment.

Mr. Rush, the company’s chief executive, is one of the passengers on the vessel and was serving as its pilot when it went missing on Sunday, the company said on Tuesday.

An aerospace engineer and pilot, he founded the company, based in Everett, Wash., in 2009. For the past three years, he has charged up to $250,000 per person for a chance to visit the wreckage of the Titanic, which sank in 1912 on its inaugural trip from England to New York.

The critiques from Mr. Lochridge and the experts who signed the 2018 letter to Mr. Rush were focused in part on what they characterized as Mr. Rush’s refusal to have the Titan inspected and certified by one of the leading agencies that do such work.

Mr. Lochridge reported in court records that he had urged the company to do so, but that he had been told that OceanGate was “unwilling to pay” for such an assessment. After getting Mr. Lochridge’s report, the company’s leaders held a tense meeting to discuss the situation, according to court documents filed by both sides. The documents came in a lawsuit that OceanGate filed against Mr. Lochridge in 2018, accusing him of sharing confidential information outside the company.

In the documents, Mr. Lochridge reported learning that the viewport that lets passengers see outside the craft was only certified to work in depths of up to 1,300 meters.

That is far less than would be necessary for trips to the Titanic, which is nearly 4,000 meters below the ocean’s surface.

“The paying passengers would not be aware, and would not be informed, of this experimental design,” lawyers for Mr. Lochridge wrote in a court filing.

The meeting led OceanGate to fire Mr. Lochridge, according to court documents filed by both sides. OceanGate has said in court records that he was not an engineer, that he refused to accept information from the company’s engineering team and that acoustic monitoring of the hull’s strength was better than the kind of testing that Mr. Lochridge felt was necessary.

The company said in its lawsuit that it appeared Mr. Lochridge was trying to be fired. Mr. Lochridge responded by alleging wrongful termination. The legal battle ended in a settlement later in 2018.

The separate warning that OceanGate received that same year came from 38 experts in the submersible craft industry; all of them were members of the Manned Underwater Vehicles committee of the Marine Technology Society, a 60-year-old industry group that promotes, studies and teaches the public about ocean technology. The experts wrote in their letter to Mr. Rush that they had “unanimous concern” about the way the Titan had been developed, and about the planned missions to the Titanic wreckage.

The letter said that OceanGate’s marketing of the Titan had been “at minimum, misleading” because it claimed that the submersible would meet or exceed the safety standards of a risk assessment company known as DNV, even though the company had no plans to have the craft formally certified by the agency.

“Their plan of not following classification guidelines was considered very risky,” Will Kohnen, the chairman of the committee, said in an interview on Tuesday.

The industry leaders said in their letter that OceanGate should, at minimum, test its prototypes under the watch of DNV or another leading certification company.

“While this may demand additional time and expense,” the signatories wrote, “it is our unanimous view that this validation process by a third-party is a critical component in the safeguards that protect all submersible occupants.”

Mr. Kohnen said that Mr. Rush called him after reading the letter and told him that industry standards were stifling innovation.

In an unsigned 2019 blog post titled “Why Isn’t Titan Classed?,” the company made similar arguments. OceanGate said in the post that because its Titan craft was so innovative, it could take years to get it certified by the usual assessment agencies. “Bringing an outside entity up to speed on every innovation before it is put into real-world testing is anathema to rapid innovation,” the company wrote.

Another signatory of the 2018 letter, Bart Kemper, said in an interview that OceanGate had avoided having to abide by certain U.S. regulations by deploying the vessel in international waters, where Coast Guard rules did not apply.

“This letter was basically asking them to please do what the other submarines do, especially the passenger ones,” said Mr. Kemper, a forensic engineer who works on submarine designs.

Submersibles, unlike boats and other vessels, are largely unregulated, particularly when they operate in international waters, said Salvatore Mercogliano, an associate professor of maritime history at Campbell University in North Carolina.

Because the Titan is loaded onto a Canadian ship and then dropped into the North Atlantic near the Titanic, he said, it does not need to register with a country, fly a flag or follow rules that apply to many other vessels.

“It’s kind of like a boat on the back of a trailer,” Mr. Mercogliano said. “The police will ensure the trailer meets the requirements to be on the road, but they really won’t do a boat inspection.”

The Passenger Vessel Safety Act of 1993, which regulates submersibles that carry passengers and requires that they be registered with the Coast Guard, does not apply to the Titan because it does not fly an American flag or operate in American waters, he said.

Mr. Rush has spoken publicly in the past about what he viewed as regulatory red tape in the industry.

“There hasn’t been an injury in the commercial sub industry in over 35 years,” he told Smithsonian magazine in a profile published in 2019. “It’s obscenely safe because they have all these regulations. But it also hasn’t innovated or grown — because they have all these regulations.”

In a CBS report last year, David Pogue, a former New York Times technology columnist, joined one of OceanGate’s Titanic expeditions and said the paperwork that he signed before getting onboard warned that the Titan was an “experimental vessel” that had not been “approved or certified by any regulatory body, and could result in physical injury, emotional trauma or death.”

OceanGate has made two previous expeditions to the Titanic site, in 2021 and 2022, and said in a May blog post that it “always expects new challenges” with each trip. “We’re starting our Titanic Expedition earlier than usual and have been tracking all the social media posts showing icebergs and sea ice in the area,” the post read.

The earlier trips, while largely successful, were not without problems.

In February, a couple in Florida sued Mr. Rush, saying that his company refused to refund them the $105,000 that they each paid to visit the Titanic on the Titan in 2018. The trip was postponed several times, according to the suit, in part because the company said it needed to run more tests on the Titan. The couple claimed that Mr. Rush reneged on his promise of giving them a refund and that the company instead demanded that they participate in a July 2021 voyage to the wreckage.

The lawsuit is pending and Mr. Rush has not responded to it. Court records do not list a lawyer representing him in that case.

In a court filing last year, OceanGate referenced some technical issues with the Titan during the 2021 trip.

“On the first dive to the Titanic, the submersible encountered a battery issue and had to be manually attached to its lifting platform,” the company’s legal and operational adviser, David Concannon, wrote in the document, which was filed in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia, which oversees matters having to do with the Titanic. The submersible sustained modest damage to its exterior, he wrote, leading OceanGate to cancel the mission so it could make repairs.

Still, Mr. Concannon wrote in the filing, 28 people were able to visit the Titanic wreckage on the Titan last year.

Mr. Concannon invited the federal judge who was hearing the case, Rebecca Beach Smith, to join the company for an expedition, according to a separate filing, something the judge seemed interested in doing.

“Perhaps, if another expedition occurs in the future, I will be able to do so,” the judge wrote in May, adding that after many years of hearing cases about the Titanic wreckage, “that opportunity would be quite informative and present a first ‘eyes on’ view of the wreck site by the court.”

#oceangate #titanic submarine #Titan submersible #current events #Stockton sounds like such an arrogant self absorbed asshole #eta - fixed typos

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