#various ratings

[dapandapod]

Fake dating rec list pt 2

Ok so not all of these are technically dating, but accidental marriges or pretend marriges. And I adore them. It is pretend relationships, and that counts, damnit!!!

It’s about the *oh* and about the pining and the almost having, ok?

Part 1, for those who are interested. 

Also i might soon make an addition of my own <.< 

Please enjoy! <3 OH and if you have any recs for me, please send them my way!!! I would be absolutely delighted to make a part 3!! (but for now my stores are empty)

me lámh le do lámh - asweetepilogue - M - WC: 31502 Geralt realizes, quite suddenly, that Jaskier is aging. He desperately asks the mages for any possible solution, something that could make Jaskier not so terribly mortal, and he finds his answer in an old elven ritual. Geralt decides to use this on Jaskier and himself. He can share his slow aging with Jaskier, and he won’t have to lose the person who, aside from Ciri, might be most important to him.

He just has to make sure that Jaskier doesn’t figure out that they are, technically, getting married.

Ob(li)vious Truth - RavenZaiyo - T - WC: 10854 Jaskier tells many lies, but the only one who believes them is himself. He's sure he'll grow out of that, but in the meantime, it has made things very awkward. You see, he's managed to secure a gig-- a very lucrative one!-- but his reputation proceeds him. When asked if there was a single person he could manage to be satisfied with, he manages to tell the truth without realizing it at first.

Which is why he's now dragging Geralt to the event as his romantic date.

The Bet - ladyprydian - T - WC: 12952 “It was your idea Geralt!” Jaskier says. “ ‘Why don’t you cheat Jaskier’ you said-” “I did not say that!” Geralt growls. “ - so if I’m going to cheat you’re going to cheat with me!” “No Jaskier, absolutely not!” “Please Geralt. It’s just for December. Be my boyfriend for a month.”

In Want of a Wife - Swankyo0 - T - WC:  9255

“It’s what you haven’t done, son,” Alfred’s voice was brusque and short, but not unkind. Jaskier braced himself. “It’s time you settled down and found a wife.”

The room went silent. Every eye in the room bounced between the two men, no one daring to speak. Every eye except one- Geralt, who sedately finished chewing his breakfast, seeming to completely ignore the pleading glances Jaskier was shooting him. After a long pause, the witcher looked up and glanced around the table, meeting Jaskier’s eye briefly, before stating, calmly, “Can’t. He’s already married.”

“Right, yes, of course,” Jaskier nodded his agreement before actually hearing Geralt’s words. “I’m- wait, uh-"

Say You Love Me - JaskiersWolf - T - WC: 1311 Jaskier accidentally let slipped to his fans that he had a boyfriend (he does not) and that he was bringing a date to the next awards show. Luckily Geralt agrees to be his date for night.

A Grain of Truth in Every Tale - thewightknight - G - WC: 2229 It's that time of year again, when Jaskier's parents make their annual visit. It'll be a week of disapproval and barbed comments, but he'll survive. He always does.

Except this year, it'll be different, because the bouncer at the club where he performs has offered to pretend to be his boyfriend. Now he just has to get through the week without anything going wrong.

Every Second into More -Morcalivan - E - WC: 17 095 As much as he hated to admit it, Jaskier was one of those who had peaked in high school. Back then he had been universally adored and had people left and right begging for his attention. The years since then? No so much any of that. When he received the invitation to his high school reunion, it could not have come at a worst time; not only could he barely book enough jobs to stay alive, but he was woefully single. What he did have was the old standby: lying through his teeth. All he needed was one hot distraction in the form of the one person he could never get to look at him twice: Geralt.

You, Forever -inanoldhouseinparis - G - WC: 16 476 "Julian," his mother interrupted before Jaskier could reply, "if he wasn't trying to assassinate you, why would he be climbing in your bedroom window?" “Well, you see,” Jaskier was flustered.”Geralt is… Geralt and I, we, uh… That is to say…” "We're engaged," Geralt interrupted at the same time Jaskier stammered out. “We’re lovers.” “Engaged!” His mother sounded delighted. “Oh, Julian! Why didn’t you tell me?” Jaskier was giving a look somewhere in between incredulous and thinly veiled anger - a look that Geralt had never seen end well for the recipient - before he smoothed his face and looked at his mother. “You see, Mother, we had just gotten engaged right before I heard the news about Father. So we decided to wait the appropriate year of mourning before we announced it. We didn’t want to be disrespectful.” 

“You could have at least told me, though, Julian,” chided his mother. “You’ve been here for months.” “Yes, well, I uh, I was waiting until Geralt got here so we could tell you together. Mother, may I introduce you to my fiance, the White Wolf, Geralt of Rivia.”

i wish that we could be real too - mrobrotzly - E - WC: 10 465 [...] it's a tradition, someone had told them earlier, foreign couples had to stand under the arch of red tulips and share a kiss, something about good luck and renewal of the vows and union. It's a stupid idea, but pretending to be married to Jaskier was also a stupid idea and they still followed through it, so whatever.

He pulled the bard under the arch, ignoring the little sound of protest he received for the sudden act.

The men were approaching, but hesitated curiously when they saw where the "couple" was.

"What are you do-" Jaskier didn't have time to finish, Geralt wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling his body close and bringing his lips to the bard's. [...]

I Will Try to Harmonize - moonflowers - T - WC: 22454 When lady luck spits in Jaskier’s face and leads him back to the family home he once fled from, things take a turn he absolutely did not see coming.

(with one of my favorite lines: “You marvellous, sneaky little witcher.” Because that is such a Jaskier think to say, to call Geralt a sneaky lil’ witcher)

What is Mine - wherethewordsare - M - WC: 2785 Jaskier gets unwanted attention at a tavern and goes to Geralt for a bit of help. Then Jaskier gets some very wanted attention and woops this wasn't supposed to go like this.

You Brought Me To This Party (Don't Leave Me Here Behind) -mintedwitcher - E - WC: 3797 Geralt doesn't like parties. There's always bad tempers and backstabbing and so much peacocking it might as well be a sport. And there's always someone with a grudge against his bard. Geralt, ever the long-suffering friend, always has to step in. Sometimes, without entirely thinking it through.

AKA: yet another "fake a relationship to get Jaskier out of trouble at parties" fic. Because why not?

Face the Music- chillestavenger - E - WC: 9177 When Jaskier pretends that he and Geralt are a couple to get out of a sticky situation at court, he assumes it will be a one time thing. He assumes wrong.

A fake dating fic featuring a lot of pining and not much actual Witchering.

lay me in the palm of your hand, I'll give you my permission - charleybradburies - M - WC: 1520 There is the point when they start to speak in white lies, lies intended to protect that do that and then some, growing into something larger, getting absorbed into the mythos they've become - the witcher and his pet bard (or was it the other way round?) Geraskier Week: Day Three (Protection) Title from "No Shame" by 5 Seconds of Summer.

A little Favour - Serazimei - G - WC: 22377 Jaskiers father is turning sixty and wants to throw a big party. Of course he won’t take no for an answer when his only son tells him he can’t come. So Jaskier decides to retaliate by causing the hugest scandal he can think of, hopefully giving him a free pass to never visit the Lettenhove estate again. Now didn’t Geralt still owe him after the stunt after the dragon hunt?

Let's Pretend Our Dreams Come True As Years Pass By - whisperedstory - E - WC: 5855 Five times Geralt and Jaskier pretended to be in a relationship and one time they didn't have to..

Yuletide Festivities - valdomarx - T - WC: 1961 Jaskier needs someone to pretend to be his fiancé when he goes home to Lettenhove for the holidays. Of course Geralt gets roped into the job…

No Chance, No Way - faghalforc - E - WC: 43276

A year has passed since the mountain. Since he last saw Geralt of Rivia. He's been... coping, how he can. Then, he helps Yennefer, and gets locked up because of it. Now, all Jaskier wants is out of this god damned cell. He gets out. Just... not how he planned.

Oh, but he's my husband - TheCrownprincessBride - T - WC: 4298 “Now, give us the bard so he gets what he deserves,” the ochre-tunic guy growls. “I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Geralt begins, and just as the brothers open their mouths to shout or possibly attack, he adds, “Because my husband spent last night in bed with me.” Something burns right through Jaskier, catching his breath in his throat for a moment. “Exactly. What he said. My, uh…,” Jaskier stammers. “Husband,” the Witcher supplies helpfully, pressing a kiss to the top of Jaskier’s head.

*

Five times Geralt and Jaskier pretend to be married... until they're no longer pretending.

#geraskier #fake dating #fake marrige #accidental marrige #fic rec #fic rec list #the witcher #geralt x jaskier #modern au #canon #various ratings #many many favorites of mine #possibly more to come

[cajunandfire]

Hurt/Comfort Exchange fic reveals are finally here!

I received these two beautiful fics, thank you so much to the authors! These were such wonderful reads. You’ve got to check them out:

Your beloved Moon

Untouchable

Please also check out the other two fics that were posted in the collection! Great reads all around!

Lacrymosa

Forgiveness

#various ratings #Hitman Fanfiction #diana/47 #hitman #hitman fandom #agent 47 #diana burnwood #hitman woa #47 #fanfiction #ao3 #Hurt/Comfort Exchange

[smartbrained]

Some Dracula art in honor of today’s iconic scene! 🧛🏻‍♂️🦇🦎

(art by Alan Lee)

(cover of the first paperback abridged 1901 edition)

(front cover of the 1919 edition)

(art by Fritz Schwimbeck, 1917)

(from Legendary Comics, art by El Garing)

(from Roy Thomas and Dick Giordano’s adaptation starting in 1974)

(colorized closeup from Thomas/Giordano’s Marvel Classics comic book)

(art by Greg & Tim Hildebrandt, 1985)

#dracula daily #dracula #dracula art #jonathan harker #count dracula #classic literature #this was really fun to look up #makes me want to rate various dracula book covers! #and also read the various graphic adaptations! #mypost #100 #500 #1k

[hellenhighwater]

i'm sure you've probably been asked this before but i'm new here and very curious: how did you come into ownership of your house and how are you paying for it? i recently moved in with my boyfriend and the housing situation is... dismal. and we're eventually moving into another house with a friend but we barely make enough money combined to support ourselves. i'm just curious as to what it takes to be content because you are living in such a dream house to me and i would love to achieve that one day. ty and have a great day!

I'm not going to pretend that my homeownership is some kind of one-man bootstraps success story; it's not. I got lucky in a lot of ways. It's a combination of stuff.

I haven't owned my house for long--it'll be two years this August. When I started saving for a house, I was lucky enough to be able to live with family and basically eliminate the majority of my living expenses, which allowed me to save a much higher percentage of my salary than I would otherwise have been able to save. I was driving an hour and a half for my daily commute, but it was worth it to not be paying rent. Having a bunch of roommates prior to that also helped. I have almost no debt--I did law school on 100% scholarship, and picked a cheap undergrad university. (This actually backfired--my credit score simply did not exist until waaaay later in my life than is recommended if you want a mortgage. I struggled to find a lender that would work with me even though I was stably employed and had a cash down payment ready.)

I also bought a home in a non-urban area; I live in a fairly small town. My house is also not very expensive; it was between $150-$200K when I bought it. That's due, in part, to the location (small town), the tiny lot (less than a quarter acre), the age (120+ years), and the need for a lot of superficial updates and repairs. It's structurally sound for the most part, but it's dated.

I'm a lawyer. It's easy to miss, since I post like an idiot, but I am regularly reminded that sometimes even morons pass the Bar. I don't make the kind of crazy money most people assume lawyers make, but for a single-person household I'm okay. I was able to make a fairly sizeable down payment--more than was strictly necessary, actually--so my monthly mortgage is actually less than $1k, which is still mindboggling to me. It's good, because this house DOES need work.

But with all that said, it still wasn't easy. I got my first job when I was a freshman in high school and I have been continuously employed since then. Between the ages of 18-28 there was never a time that I held less than two jobs; most of the time I had three, and it...sucked. It was fun, a lot of the time, but mostly that kind of unpredictable schedule is just exhausting at a subconscious level. I remember the week before the Bar, still working two jobs, being in the library at 3 am, my brain melting out my ears, and cruising Zillow listings for bombed-out houses in Detroit being sold for pennies on the dollar, thinking that if nothing else, I could buy one of those and make it work one repair at a time. I went to law school because I wanted to be able to buy my own house. I moved out of the city so I could buy my own house. I shaped a lot of my life around the need and want to have my own space. I have spent years sitting up late at night and looking at real estate listings I couldn't dream of affording.

I don't know if that helps. I guess the only advice I could give is that if homeownership is a big priority for you, maybe look for areas where real estate is affordable(ish; I know what it's like these days) and see what it would take for you to be able to live there. A lot of the time, if there's good bones to work with, the rest is just what you make of it.

#i often tell people i'm live in ______ #and it is not unusual for them to bring up various concerns about crime rates in areas like mine #and my fine friends: believe me i am aware of the crimes #its fine #what are they gonna do murder me??? only if i dont get em first #but the unfortunate reality is that for a lot of people under 35 its simply not possible to live in a major city without renting #which is insane #the system is broken but we still have to live in it.

[folkdevilism]

Sometimes I still think about the violence that went in to Jessamine's death animation. Even the moments directly before and after the actual stabbing contain a lot of brutality despite how rapidly the whole scene plays out.

For instance, seconds prior to the killing blow, Daud strikes Jessamine across the face so hard her feet nearly leave the ground, and then he immediately begins to strangle her before she even has a chance to regain herself.

And even after the the impalement, the violence comes to an end only after Daud forcefully throws her to the ground like a ragdoll.

#dishonored #jessamine kaldwin #daud #the knife of dunwall #at the end of the day it's an M-rated game with various violent death animations for different characters #so it's not like the animation itself is unique in that regard #but it's mainly that he manages to hit + choke + stab + throw her in less than a minute after you've barely met her (as the player) #it's the detail that does it for me #he doesn't even just let her fall on her own after he takes the blade out #he slams her to her knees and her head actually bounces slightly as it hits the pavillion tiles

[irate-iguana]

Scenario: You read a 2700-year-old text passed down orally for centuries prior. It preserves a civilization’s culture, history, and values. Influences their entire body of literature, and ours too. “Eh, kinda repetitive,” you think. “Bit long winded.” You give it 2 stars on Goodreads.

#gonna go drunk with power on goodreads #i simply do not feel like i have the authority to rate homer #the iliad #the odyssey #and various other foundational texts. imagine being asked to rate the epic of gilgamesh #tagamemnon #homer #original post #classics

[tearlessrain]

seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing

#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident #I straight up forgot #and just didn't show up to the session #my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked #I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up #my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january #I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted #like mentally and spiritually #all the time #my memory and sense of time are both shit #my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason?? #I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me #I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir #and yet #idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason #fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly #due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me #aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory #it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever #like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype #but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here #doing whatever this is #maybe I should drive out to the coast #maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long #I mean it can't make me worse #I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark #everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone

[screamingfromuz]

so in the past month I was involved in a traffic collision (not an accident, the idiot that hit me was an idiot and is to blame), and landed in the ER (second time in 6 months, what is my luck). and you know what? The bureaucracy around it suck almost as much as being in a traffic collision itself

ps

I am physically as good as can be, I got out extremely lucky, no massive long term injuries (at least nothing popped up by now), but it still suck.

#uz talks #bureaucracy #the amount of paperwork #and the confusion #no one prepares you to this #I need to find a lawyer #and I will spend the next at least year dealing with various lawsuits #get a car with a good safety rating #it can save your life #better a broken car then being dead

[pommunist]

Hey, I'm not sure if this was said before but reading the QSMP dev's Notion I just thought about something.

What if the reason they didn't have a lot of French admins was because of currency exchange?

In it they mention that they at first received 22 dollars per hour. With that pay, while an European might just receive 20 euros, a Brazilian will get 109, which is a lot to make hourly by our standards.

Tbh I'm a minor and have never worked so I'm not very good at this, but it seems plausible to me at least.

This is a great point anon ! I actually thought about it before but I don’t really know if this came into play when they recruited admins because as we know admins weren’t getting paid regardless of their nationality or where they reside.

However this may be an important factor in the future if Qstudios keep admins but this time while giving them a salary of some other form of monetary compensation.

I’ll admit that I’m not too aware of how wide exactly the medium pay gap is between the main countries represented in QSMP. But your point about french admins would also probably apply to german admins too (I believe Chayanne and Empanada both are from Germany but not 100% sure).

So yeah I don’t know if pay would be the same for everyone regardless of what is considered a « normal » hourly amount in their respective countries or if it would be adjusted to their individual situations.

#qadmins situation #i’m not too knowledgeable on other countries economics or on the various currencies rates tbh

[late-night-vocaloid]

mascotless vocals lose something on an individual level but I think with a bunch of new mascots releasing soon(?) we'll be getting something back we were desperately missing when the majority of new vocals had no designs

#I was so focused on the reception of individual vocals that I wasn't even thinking about how having so many of them be designless #impacted the community and the scale of how people interact with the characters #no character puts a damper on hype for a vocal but it also changes community hype overall #maghni ai Feels like old vocaloid #disclaimer idk if it was actually the majority but it feels that way right. at least half? with all the dt and v6 vocals #in recent times eclipsed sounds was the best (new) thing to happen to vocal synth imo. and obviously like. rikka and co. + maki + anri/jun #that's pretty close to it though (for new characters (except maki)) #maghni ai bringing ten from various parties (2/2/3/3) to the table feels really good when non-dt/yamaha companies #very much seem to be focusing on one at a time while dt pumps them out and yamaha came out announcing 16(?) #idk how fast they'll be done or the rate they'll come out at or anything but just knowing we'll have at least ten it nice #also I hope the test vocals have cute little designs too (I think they will). I never wanna see another non-teaser silhouette again lol /j #thoughts

[raiiny-bay]

there is something so fun about just putting my boys in Situations

#basically i started what i’m calling an AUofAUs (unofficial title) #in which i write the boys meeting in various life stages/situations/circumstances/etc. #& it has been very fun #it’s also like. a nice no-pressure form of writing. bc when i’m writing for the actual story #there’s this self-imposed expectation that it has to be good which makes me not want to write #but these lil one offs can be as shitty as i want #i also really enjoy writing them as adults/meeting as adults bc we get to skip the teenage drama of it all #after like. a decade of writing them as teenagers it does get a bit tiring #but that is my fault for never finishing the story & constantly changing the plot lol #at this rate i will never catch up to their actual ages. forever stuck in 2012. #n e way. that’s all. #rainyrambles

[bexfangirlforlife]

Every week when I go to rate the new episode, it annoys me to see the 4.7 general rating. Seeing it split like this ⬇️ is not a surprise, but still...

Nobody who has actually watched the show will give it a 1. I don't say everyone will like it (even though I don't understand what's not to like), but if one has really watched the show one might give it a low rating, but it's not gonna be a 1. Which is why the rating for the eps themselves are a lot better than the general rating.

#i mean i knew that the gen rating is so low because probably a lot of people just hate rated for various reasons #but still it annoys me so much #if it's bot for you or if you don't wanna watch it for whatever reason. then just don't watch it #gotham knights #imdb #sorry for this rant

[lunapwrites]

Have just sat through a labor and delivery class, and friends: nothing made me realize that my high school's sex ed was sub par faster than my partner turning to me and going "ok so when do we get past stuff we covered in fifth grade."

Meanwhile, I'm over here taking notes like I'm cramming for finals. 😭

#for reference my school focused on abstinence #and we had a lady from the local church talk to us about why the safest sex is the sex you don't have #briefly covered the horrors of STDS #which you could avoid by not having sex #and discussed types of contraception but not how to use them #so no we did not practice putting condoms on various phallic fruit and veg #and we never watched any of the childbirth videos #it was bare bones info at best. #i will also say that partner and i attended school in the same state #but i lived in a far more conservative area than he did #so. yeah. #just goes to show those school board elections matter #bean posting #us education #glad at least one of us knows things at any rate #cuz I'm flying freaking BLIND

[jheselbraum]

One thing that I don't think we talk about enough is the fact that Link is visibly not into the Great Fairies hitting on him in botwtotk. And like, I think instinctively we all know that if he was chill about it then the games would've received a very different rating, and I think that fucking sucks. Like, why is it that it's okay to show kids someone receiving unwanted sexual advances, but if they're into it suddenly it's not age appropriate?

#tloz #like god what does that say about our various media rating systems

[bitegore]

The biggest differences between me and Mr scratch is that a) I am no fucking servant and you would not get me to be. Scratch, loser that he is, is begging for his power from some entity of the dark place, and I don't fucking do that. My version of the same, which I'm not getting into, is way more even and we fuck with each other on purpose all the time and if we didn't it wouldn't work. And b) I promise I don't kill people

#red rambles #its. the fucking. the video where he's talking about the weapons. thats the one that really got to me because #i have very nearly the exact same video in my hard drive from like 4 years ago. that I sent to my then-girlfriend when I was trying to ex #explain/show off the various things I had my house that I used for various purposes #and what I thought they could also be used for. I think mine was actually a bit more Korean explicit? but that's to be expected #*GORY AND. im using voice to text and im tired #anyway if I remember right the rating on this game is that it's not like. mature or anything so naturally my version is going to be worse

[emdotcom]

This is what my bg image is.

#gale chatter #a lot of these are images i have collected over time #some are just things i found as i went abt being online #a decent few are my own screenshots #some (such as the windows crash pic & Night 4: the numbers) i made even if the context is lost #the picture of the mc character riddled with arrows is my own skin i made & i had no idea i looked like that until a friend mentioned #the spore creature is of my making. their name is handsoem #the tattletail with a gun is a doodle i hammered out due to soundboard shenanigans #the bridge is a screenshot i took from google street view of goatman's bridge #freddy goddam fazbear is from my small stint in tomadachi life where i made. u guessed it #freddy goddam fazbear. #2 of these are from my fnaf world playthrough #one is a shrunken down graphic for minecraft ore spawn rates at various levels #one is a gmod model of toilet bonnie #several are from minecraft mods #one is from myhouse.wad