#vonaegir | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

you-told-me-to-buy-a-pony · 4 years

Text

Fitzroy vs. Ferdinand: The Coming of Age of Snippers

Fitzroy Maplecourt walks down the hallway, looking eagerly out of the windows. His eyes shined, reflecting the golden rays of the sun.

"What a lovely day," he muses, eying the cloudless sky. "Maybe I should go explore a little." Hieronymous Wiggenstaff's School of Heroism and Villainy was a "pleasant" place, certainly, but getting a fresh breath of air was one of Fitzroy's favorite pastimes.

As he exited the school building, he looked upon the monastery practically across the road. He wasn't sure how long it had been there- one day, it wasn't there, and the next, it was! It housed an odd group of students- almost similar to his own classmates, but certainly more odd and extreme. As the doors of the Officers Academy opened, allowing its many students to flood out, Fitzroy dared to wonder: What are those kids like?

Across the road, a red-haired young man stood, squinting into the sun.

How dare it be so sunny, so offensive to my eyes!

He stood proudly, hands on his hips. He turned his ire towards the school across the road.

What a foul institution! Playing both sides, creating unnecessary conflicts. It is a shame.

The next target of his overwhelming disapproval was, of course, the confused half-elf, also across the road. He's heard of him before, of course.

"Talented," they call him. But my abilities far surpass his!

Fitzroy caught the eye of a student across the street.

Hey, I think I've seen that kid before...

Ferdinand: "Fitzroy you're a big dummy. You can never compare to me. I am Ferdinand von Aegir"

Fitzroy: "How dare you!!!"

Almost as if on cue, Argonaut Keene and the great, lovely ????? notice the confrontation.

Argo: "Hey, loser. Don't be mean to my friend."

Fitzroy: *ready to perform tides of chaos on Ferdinand*

?????: *picks him up and carries him away* "Let us be going."

Fitzroy: "Put me down!"

????: "But we are going."

Ferdinand: "Run away you little baby! I am Ferdinand von Aegir!"

Snippers in the background: "I shall avenge you Fitzroy!"

After Firbolg and Argo leave Fitzroy to deal with his rage, Snippers waltzes over to him.

Snippers, in crab gurgling: "Ferdinand is the dum dum. Not you!"

Fitzroy: "He is! My tide of chaos would've shown him how weak he is. Thanks Snippers"

Fitzroy goes to meditate to ease his anger.

Snippers soliloquy:

"You are amazing Fitzroy. I will make sure that Ferdinand realizes what a loser he is."

Meanwhile at the Officers Academy

Ferdinand: "Haha. That dumb Fitzroy!" *sips tea*

Hubert: "Ferdinand. You're the only moron here."

Ferdinand is too happy to care.

Hubert leaves to deal with Edelgard and Dimitri's fight.

Ferdinand doesn't notice the strange crab lurking under the table taking notes on his every move.

After carefully taking notes on Ferdinand's tea drinking methods, Snippers roams the Officers Academy.

He sees an angry white-haired girl throwing popcorn at a blonde-haired boy, who wielded a box of crackers with pride. They've seemed to gather quite an audience. The black haired one is there frowning.

Hubert looks upon the two feuding students with concern. His lips form a rigid frown, until the white-haired woman manages to gain the advantage.

Snippers watches in blissful awe as the white haired girl uses all her strength to get up off the floor and with her fleeting energy throws a single piece of popcorn at the boy. The popcorn glides elegantly across the room. What beautiful projectile motion. It lands gracefully into the blonde boy's left eye. He screams and withers in pain. Red, the color of Snippers, gushes as the popcorn has chosen its new home.

Suddenly, Hubert's lips curl up, just at the very edge. A mischievous glimmer surfaces in his eye, as he dreams of bloodied violence.

The students rush to the screaming one's side and escort him to the nurse's office. Snippers, now drenched in koolaid, leaves. He's seen enough for today. He'll find the orange tea boy the next day.

The next morning Snippers returns to the Officers Academy just before school starts. In the kitchen he sees a man dressed in yellow with very red eyes. He's making breakfast but the students already have breakfast. He serves the food in the frying pan and says "After you all have breakfast, have some breakfast" He starts making more breakfast. Snippers is amazed at his madness. While he's cooking he's smoking some weird smelling cigarettes. He doesn't seem down on earth right now. He's high. After even more breakfast he showers.....and showers.....and showers. His glow increases with each shower.

Snippers is scarred.

Snippers continues wandering around and finds a purple haired girl studying a book about the Fódlan language. She keeps murmuring idioms to herself. Then a girl with brown hair and a hat walks up to her and says "Hey Petra. We're having a party to celebrate Edelgard's popcorn victory"

Snippers follows them to the party and takes note of their party habits.

After the party the girls go to Professor Blyeth's class.

And there in that very class is the disgusting orange haired tea man.

As the students walk out of class, Snippers follows Ferdinand until he's outside. Then he takes his chance and grabs his leg with his claw. Ferdinand screams in pain but the scream is nothing compared to Dimitri's.

"How dare you insult Fitz! He's not a dummy! He's smarter than you'll ever be. You can't even drink tea correctly"

As Snippers is giving this passionate speech all Ferdinand hears is gargling.

"That's where you've been, Snippers!" A familiar voice calls out to him from behind. He is cautiously scooped up, brought into a safe haven of rodent bones and blonde hair.

"Fitz, I found Snippers!" Rainer calls. Snippers sits in her lap contentedly, listening to the sudden pattering of boots in the dirt. Fitzroy and pals run over. He looks worried and like he was just crying. His eyes glisten as he looks upon his crustaceous friend.

"Oh Snippers, I missed you! I thought you unmanifested. I was so sad. I'm glad you're safe"

This happy reunion is interrupted by Ferdinand and Fitzroy making eye contact.

Fitzroy: "YOU STOLE MY CRAB"

Ferdinand: "I DID NOT. I AM FERDINAND VON AEGIR. HE TRIED TO STEAL ME"

*Fitzroy summons tide of chaos spell

*Ferdinand takes out blade

Literally every student from each school is surrounding them.

Hieronymous Wiggenstaff, suddenly: "What is this act of violence. Fitzroy you've endangered the life of this crab and for that you are hereby suspended for one month. You'll be taking classes at the Officers Academy for now"

Fitzroy: "NOOO. It was his fault!"

*aggressive finger pointing that Phoenix Wright himself would be proud of*

Ferdinand: "You incredulous dunce. It's your fault!"

Seteth, suddenly: "Ferdinand von Aegir your actions disgrace your fellow heirs and you will repent by taking a month-long suspension at the school of heroism and villainy"

Snippers is forced to spend more time at the Officers Academy. He sees Dimitri again. He's now wearing an eye patch. Rumors have it that the popcorn can't be removed and is forever embedded in his eye socket. Petra is still trying to figure out idioms. Hubert is just brooding and sometimes out of character crying.

Ferdinand's catchphrase at the new school actually makes sense since nobody knows him. He keeps drinking tea. The month is excruciatingly slow for the Firbolg and Argo. Ferdinand thinks the Fierbolg has recognized his superiority and sleeps on the floor so he can have both beds.

Snippers is experiencing life at the Officers Academy. He's happy.

1 note · View note

professcr · 4 years

Text

“ von Aegir? “

#ᴄʟᴀss ɪs ɪɴ sᴇssɪᴏɴ ( ic )#im watching the 3h run for gdq #and they named byleth vonaegir because of course they did

1 note · View note

jo2ukes · 3 years

Text

i was tagged in the get to know me game by @bioticbarbie (thank you love!!) and since i've gotten an influx of new followers lately i think it's a good excuse to do this lolol

i'm gonna put it under a readmore tho cause it's a little long. if u see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

why did you choose your url?

i wanted to have the url josuke or josukes since i'm jjba trash and i love my boy, but none of them were free so i turned it into jo2ukes and it's a url/username that's free on most social media and gaming platforms (except twitter >:[ i had to use a zero instead of an o lol) so it's kind of followed me everywhere and im super partial to it!!

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

only two that I use: my art blog @oorsinoo (for art spam) and my aesthetics blog @vonaegirs (i just like having an aesthetics blog with a color scheme which is what that is)

how long have you been on tumblr?

too long. i think since like 2012 lol

do you have a queue tag?

yes, and it's super creative! it's just #queue tag

why did you start your blog in the first place?

uhhh i moved out of my parents' house and i finally had free reign on the internet without having to be secretive about it and wanted to get more involved in fandom spaces i guess? i grew up in a small town and didn't really have a lot of people to talk to about my interests (anime, at the time) so i was kind of drawn to online social spaces

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

bc gonta is best boy. gonta supremacy. he is my son he is my world and i would die for him

why did you choose your header?

my header image just goes with the color scheme i wanted on mobile. my header desc. is just kind of a quick rundown of me as a person i guess?

what’s your post with the most notes?

my e3 post lmfaoooo

how many followers do you have?

currently im at 300+ i'm not sure the exact number, but in the 300s

how many people do you follow?

around 200+ i'm also not sure of the exact number lol im looking for more to follow, i'm just rly picky about tagging systems bc there's a lot of stuff i filter XD

have you made a shitpost?

i think that's all i post pretty much

how often do you use tumblr everyday?

im literally on here all the time. i need stimulation when im doing my 8-5 so...

did you have a fight/argument with a blog once?

yeah one time i got called homophobic and someone made burner accounts to fight with me because i said that people should respect bi identities and not assume that all "m/f couples" are straight (or cis). so that was fun

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

i hate them lol

do you like tag games?

i do! i'm dumb and forget about them a lot, but they're fun and also i love being vain <3

do you like ask games?

yes!! i don't get a lot of asks which is fine, but when i get an ask game going, it's always fun!

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i have a couple fairly famous mutuals actually, i won't tag them or name names, but SOME of them have posts that have been featured on buzzfeed dot com

do you have a crush on a mutual?

platonic crushes yes- i adore all my mutuals u are all so funky and fresh and i cherish u! <3

#me #long ass post #ig not really with the readmore but. there u have it #queue tag

3 notes · View notes

the-tactician-magician · 4 years

Text

What if characters from FE3H played Splatoon?

AKA the headcanons no one asked for. Also feel free to add.

Black Eagles Strike Force (BESF)

Edelgard (FlameEmpr) (leader)

Favorite weapon: Kensa Dynamo Roller

Favorite mode: Splat Zones

Highest rank: X

Hardcore competative player, plays very frequently and won several competitions

Prefers weapons that do a lot of damage, doesn’t mind the heaviness

Very picky about who gets to be on her team

Hubert (Grimoire)

Favorite weapon: Ballpoint Splatling Nouveau

Favorite mode: Splat Zones

Highest rank: S+

Only plays with Edelgard

But is surprisingly good with how little he actually plays

Part of the datamining community

Always wears black

Ferdinand (vonAegir)

Favorite weapon: L-3 Nozzlenose D

Favorite mode: Rainmaker

Highest rank: S+

Competitive against Edelgard, always trying to one-up her

Picks whatever weapon is meta in order to beat her

A fair and honorable fighter, feels bad whenever an opponent disconnects, etc

Petra (kanaloa)

Favorite weapon: Dark Tetra Dualies

Favorite mode: Rainmaker

Highest rank: S+

Her username comes from a spirit in Brigid that takes the form of a squid

Empathizes with the Octolings and their broken English

Fast on her feet and hard to hit

Krakenslayers

Caspar (CHADspar) (leader)

Favorite weapon: Octobrush

Favorite mode: Clam Blitz

Highest rank: B+

He came up with the team name and won’t accept any substitutes

Always super jumping into danger, despite warnings

Super aggressive player but somehow does ok

Linhardt (zzz)

Favorite weapon: Bloblobber

Favorite mode: Splat Zones

Highest rank: A

Just press ZR and hope for the best

Takes quick naps between matches

Probably can rank higher if he’s more interested

Dorothea (☆DIVA☆)

Favorite weapon: Splattershot

Favorite mode: Splatfest

Highest rank: B

Not great at this game

But loves the idols and the music (Callie is her favorite)

Is also super salty that Callie lost the final splatfest in S1

Plays a lot less once Splatfests ended

Bernadetta (bbear)

Favorite weapon: E-liter 4k scope

Favorite mode: Splat Zones

Highest rank: A

Screams whenever an enemy approaches

A good shot, but panics in bad situations

She somehow does better when her team is losing

Blue Lionfish (BL)

Dimitri (Areadbhar) (leader)

Favorite weapon: Kensa Splattershot Pro (with gratuitous MPU)

Favorite mode: Rainmaker

Highest rank: X

Hardcore competative player like Edelgard, also won several competitions

Adept with any shooter type weapons

Gets angry easily and has broken several controllers

Has a terrible fashion sense and uses whatever gear he needs to

Was going to name the team ‘Blue Lions’, but Sylvain said to use ‘Blue Lionfish’ for the pun

Dedue (Pavise)

Favorite weapon: Tenta Brella

Favorite mode: Splat Zones

Highest rank: A+

Is fixated on Dimitri whenever they play together

A defensive player, doesn’t like charging in

He does his best but he’s sadly the worst of the team

Ingrid (Whitewing)

Favorite weapon: Clear Dapple Dualies

Favorite mode: Clam Blitz

Highest rank: X

Expert duelist, can win most 1v1

Whatever weapon she chooses, she gotta go fast

Constantly yelling at Sylvain, blames him for everything

Sylvain (tentaXXX)

Favorite weapon: Kensa Sloshing Machine

Favorite mode: Clam Blitz

Highest rank: S+

Would have a more inappropriate name if it weren’t for Ingrid

A deceptively good player that masks his skills with an easygoing attitude

Could probably get into X rank if he cared more

Is a chronic squidbagger

くコ:彡 (Team Squid Emoticon)

Annette ( (´･ω･`) ) (leader)

Favorite weapon: Soda Slosher

Favorite mode: Splat Zones

Highest rank: A+

A cheerleader, always encouraging her friends to do their best!

Overuses bombs

She’s only the team leader because Felix hates leadership

Likes the songs and often makes up lyrics to go along with them

Always booyahs

Mercedes (mercie ♥)

Favorite weapon: Aerospray MG

Favorite mode: Turf War

Highest rank: B-

Not good at this game at all…

Only knows how to spray and claim turf

Still, she loves playing with Annette

Always booyahs back

Felix (L0NE_W0LF)

Favorite weapon: Kensa Splat Dualies

Favorite mode: Tower Control

Highest rank: X

Only on this team because he refuses to play with Dimitri after Dimitri broke his controller once

And because Annette is his girlfriend

Always charges in by himself, luckily has the skills to back up such tactics

Will coach the others when he’s feeling nice

Still plays with Ingrid and Sylvain whenever Dimitri isn’t around

Ashe (Decidueye)

Favorite weapon: Firefin Splatter Charger

Favorite mode: Tower Control

Highest rank: S+

A good shot and a helpful player

Constantly checking the map

Gets nervous in competitions

Got recruited to this team by Felix because Felix can’t stand being the only good player here

Cod-Splattering Stars (CSS)

Claude (insertmeme) (leader)

Favorite weapon: Bamboozler 14 Mk I (with MPU)

Favorite mode: Clam Blitz

Highest rank: S+

Always doing things for teh lulz

Would rather troll people than actually play well

Could probably get into X rank if he stopped memeing

Picks the male octoling with the afro because the hair is funny but secretly empathizes with the octolings for being outsiders

Also grinds out weird gear (like the masks) just for the shock value

Was going to name the team ‘I wish squids were real’ but Leonie and Lys wanted a serious name and Hilda didn’t get the joke

Hilda (pnkprncess)

Favorite weapon: Splat Roller

Favorite mode: Tower Control

Highest rank: A

Doesn’t like others depending on her

Yet if everyone’s splatted but her, she will do her damndest to hold the line

Is actually pretty good but tries not to show off

Constantly complaining and whining about stuff

Adores dressing up her inkling

Lysithea (Miasma Δ)

Favorite weapon: Explosher

Favorite mode: Splat Zones

Highest rank: X

A really good player, has a good sense of spacing and timing to make her weapons deadly

Always goes for the big, explosive weapons

Call her a little kid and she’ll punch you

Leonie (BladeBrkr2)

Favorite weapon: Custom Dualie Squelchers

Favorite mode: Tower Control

Highest rank: S+

Only got into Splatoon because it’s Jeralt’s favorite game

And is surprisingly good at it

Replaced Lorenz because she was better and he was getting on Claude’s nerves

A little nervous to be the only commoner on the team but that just motivates her more

Inkblooms

Lorenz (GLOUCESTER) (leader)

Favorite weapon: Foil Squeezer

Favorite mode: Rainmaker

Highest rank: S

Was on Claude’s team, then got kicked out for Leonie which he’s still bitter about

Still, he tries to make this team work

A boastful winner but takes losing well

Only wears the most fashionable gear

Ignatz (ᴄʜαʀᴛʀεᴜsε)

Favorite weapon: Inkbrush

Favorite mode: Salmon Run

Highest rank: A

Also does well with snipers, but has the most fun with the inkbrush

Spams splat bombs and runs away

Also gets nervous in competitions

Raphael (RAPHROX!)

Favorite weapon: Clash Blaster

Favorite mode: Tower Control

Highest rank: B

Can’t aim

A very loud player

Likes playing with Ignatz

Still uses sticks

Marianne (dorte)

Favorite weapon: Splattershot Jr.

Favorite mode: Turf War

Highest rank: B-

Not good at this game because of self-esteem issues

Freezes up and dies whenever she’s confronted

Lorenz is trying his best to coach her

Jeralt’s Mercs

Jeralt (Jeralt) (leader)

Favorite weapon: Tentatek Splattershot

Favorite mode: Splat Zones

Highest rank: X

A prominent streamer and e-celeb

Played a lot of Splatoon 1 and although he likes Splatoon 2, always complains about ‘back in the day’ like a boomer

Used to be really competitive back in the day but nowadays just plays with family and friends

His username used to be ‘BladeBrkr’

Thinking of passing the torch to Byleth soon

Leonie used to be a sub for his team until she joined Claude’s team

Byleth (AshenDemon)

Favorite weapon: Enperry Splat Dualies

Favorite mode: Rainmaker

Highest rank: X

Jeralt’s kid

Rarely talks or expresses emotions, which kinda creeps people out

Can dunk people like nobody’s business

Secretly has a fondness for the Judds

Alois (10tickles)

Favorite weapon: Heavy Splatling

Favorite mode: Tower Control

Highest rank: S

An old friend of Jeralt

Used to run with the Knights of Seiros until they got too competitive for his liking

Appreciates all the fish puns in this game

Sometimes acts like a boomer with Jeralt, but takes the boomer memes in stride

Sothis (fell star☆)

Favorite weapon: Tri-Slosher

Favorite mode: Rainmaker

Highest rank: X

Who is she??? No one knows. A friend of Byleth apparently

Temperamental and emotional but a very good player

Somehow managed to pick the winning team in all the Splatfests

Knights of Seiros

Catherine (thundrcath) (leader)

Favorite weapon: Carbon Roller

Favorite mode: Rainmaker

Highest rank: X

Loud, confident, always takes the opponent head-on

Likes the feel of rollers but can pick other weapons as long as they do lots of damage

Trash talks opponents a lot

Shamir (Raven)

Favorite weapon: Kensa Splatterscope

Favorite mode: Tower Control

Highest rank: X

Complete opposite of Catherine, rarely talks during matches

Can see you coming from a mile away

Makes it her mission to protect Catherine when she’s running into danger

Flayn (cethleann!)

Favorite weapon: Neo Splash-o-matic

Favorite mode: Salmon Run

Highest rank: A-

Likes the fish and the fish puns

Not super great at this game but she has a lot of fun

The team mascot

Cyril (pointblank)

Favorite weapon: Kensa Glooga Dualies

Favorite mode: Clam Blitz

Highest rank: A+

Used to be pretty bad until Shamir coached him, now he can hold his own weight

Doesn’t use the ‘ouch’ button when he dies, even though he should

Has mastered the art of splatting foes when he rolls

Seteth (Cichol)

Favorite weapon: Rapid Blaster Pro Deco

Favorite mode: Splat Zones

Highest rank: S+

Way too busy to play Splatoon now, only a sub for this team

But he is good at this game

Used to be in X until he fell out due to not playing much

Always makes time to play with Flayn

(Hanneman and Manuela don’t play Splatoon because they’re not interested.)

(Rhea supposedly plays but no one knows her username or has even seen her play. She could probably curb stomp everyone at Garreg Mach though.)

#fire emblem #Fire Emblem Three Houses #fe3h #fe16 #splatoon #splatoon 2 #I spent way too much time thinking about this #fics

25 notes · View notes

ityabuoy · 5 years

Text

tagged by @bigcatz 2 describe myself with pictures on my fone

i tag ummmm @narcissos @vampwives @vonaegir @mythosology @velvetys and @frogparty :^)

#5 of these r shiba inus ....

8 notes · View notes

aristccrvcy · 5 years

Conversation

@VONAEGIR: Hello everyone!!! It is me, Feliciano Vitelli!!! I am currently looking for a companion to attend the upcoming ball with and I am very much open to any and all interested!! I would much appreciate the company & treat whoever my companion is most generously!!! 😃😃😃 Please notify me if any are interest!!! 😃😃😃😃😚😚🥳🥳🥳🎭🎭🎭🤩🤩

#castletown.social #i. Wanted 2 write smth dumb.#and yes ferdinand is 100% the person who would just make his old name his twitter handle #and also use 1000 emojis #HES SO DUMB AND THIS IS SO CRINGEY

4 notes · View notes

you-told-me-to-buy-a-pony · 4 years

Text

Claude: Presidential Disaster

*Made with AI Dungeon

Your name is Claude. You are the heir to House Riegan and a proficient archer, as well as a stoner. You and your roommates, Dimitri and Edelgard, are secretly competing for class president at the Officers Academy. Not only will the student body vote, but your new professor, Byleth, will be voting as well. Dimitri and Edelgard hate each other, constantly stealing each other’s stashes. As the master trickster that you are, you hope to take advantage of their weird feuding to secure a very valid victory. One day, you tell your best pal Hilda to help you win the class presidency, guaranteeing her a spot as the VP. You have no idea what's going on in the world outside your window, but you know this much: there is a war brewing between two rival families. The Delantium Kingdom has been fighting with its neighbor, the Nuro family.

> Ignore the commotion, smoke some weed, and watch Dimitri and Edelgard argue

You sit on your couch and wait for Dimitri and Edelgard to fight again. It isn't like you want to see them arguing anyway. After all, they aren't exactly friends anymore. They were never really close after you left school either.

> Wonder why Dimitri’s such a miserable dude

Edelgard is a bit more interesting than Dimitri. She's got a little more personality and she doesn't act like an angry dum-dum all the time. You always wondered why she was so mad at everyone. Maybe it had something to do with her mother?

> Shrug

You shake your head. It's just a game, nothing serious. Besides, you’re not here to get into trouble or anything. You just wanted to relax and enjoy yourself.

As the argument continues, you begin to feel bored by it all.

> Find your pal Hilda

The next morning, you wake up early and walk down to the Officers Academy. You look around and see a lot of people milling about. Most of them are students from the academy, but there are also guards patrolling the halls.

> Wait for Hilda to meet you

You decide to wait until Hilda arrives. When she finally does, you grab her hand and say "Good morning."

"Morning," she says back.

She leads you through the corridors and eventually to a classroom where the rest of your group is waiting for you.

> Tell your group, the Golden Deer, that they can help you campaign for class president

Hilda nods and smiles. "Alright, I'll go talk to my group about this."

You nod and follow her out of the room. A few minutes later, you hear a loud noise coming from one of the classrooms.

> Smoke

Smoking is bad for you. You need to keep your mind off things. You grab a small baggie and light up the joint. Your eyes are already starting to hurt from staring at the ceiling all night long, so you put it away in your pocket.

> Go check out the commotion

You walk over to the door and peek inside. There's a bunch of yelling going on outside. You can only assume that someone has broken into the building and set fire to most of it. The windows are shattered as well, giving you a good view of what's happening outside.

> Ready your bow and prepare to fight intruders

You take a deep breath and raise your bow. You aim carefully and release the string. The arrow flies straight towards the source of the shouting.

A loud explosion follows right after. Pieces of wood fly everywhere as you duck behind cover.

> Look for Edelgard and Dimitri

You run back to the room where you left Hilda and the others. You search for them, but they're nowhere to be found.

You look around and realize that you don't know how to open any of the doors in this room.

> Turn back and keep looking for others

You turn back to the room and start searching for other survivors. You hope that if anyone else was here, they might still be alive.

You continue searching the rooms and hallways of the academy. Eventually you come across an old man sitting alone in a corner of one of the rooms.

> “Hanneman, is that you?”

"Yes, it is." He replies.

> Ask him if he is alright

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." You apologize.

He sighs and looks down. "It's fine. It just...it's been a rough day."

"Yeah, it has..." You reply.

> Ask him if he is wounded

"No, not yet." He says.

You ask him if he knows anything about who might have done this or why.

"Nothing really." He replies.

> Offer him some weed

"Hey Hanneman, would you like some weed?" You ask.

"Sure!" He replies.

You quickly leave his room and head back to the dining hall where you find that everyone is there eating their meals.

> Look for your pal Hilda in the dining hall

You quickly make your way back to the dining hall where you see Hilda sitting at a table with several other people. She notices you and smiles.

"Hello Claude." She greets.

"Hi Hilda." You return her greeting.

> Ask her how you will win the class presidency

"Well, I guess we'll find out soon enough." She replies.

She continues to eat her food while you sit down next to her.

You continue to talk with Hilda for awhile longer until she asks you a question.

"So what are you going to do after winning the election?" She asks.

"What am I doing? What are you talking about?" You respond confused.

> “I’m gonna be a rad class president!”

"A rad class president! A real leader of men!" Hilda exclaims.

You smile and nod your head in agreement.

> !Edelgard and Dimitri start arguing a few tables away

"Oh my god, you're joking right?" You hear Dimitri shout from across the room.

You turn around and see Edelgard standing behind you with a scowl on her face.

"Dimitri, calm yourself." You tell him.

> Ask Dimitri why he’s fighting with Edelgard again

"Why are you fighting with her again?" You ask.

"Because she's stupid as usual." Dimitri answers.

"And you're just jealous because she's pretty?" You ask.

"Shut up!" Dimitri shouts before storming off.

You sigh and look over at Hilda who seems to be enjoying herself in the sun.

> Ask Hilda if she’s enjoying this top-tier comedy

"Hilda, are you enjoying this top-tier comedy?" You ask.

"Yes, it's great!" Hilda responds happily.

You walk back to your own table and sit down next to her.

> Eat popcorn and watch as Dimitri yells at Edelgard for stealing his crack stash

You begin eating some popcorn and watching the two of them argue. It doesn't take long before you see Dimitri grab a bag full of crackers from one of the tables and throw them at Edelgard. The bag hits her square in the chest causing her to fall backwards onto the floor.

> Watch in amusement as Edelgard fights back

You watch as Edelgard grabs a handful of popcorn and throws it at Dimitri. He catches the bag but not before it smacks into his nose. He screams in pain and falls backward onto the ground.

> Laugh

You chuckle to yourself as you watch the fight. This is so much more entertaining than listening to someone talk about their problems.

As the fight continues, you notice that Dimitri has lost a lot of blood now. He looks like he might pass out soon.

> Tell him to give up

You decide to try something different. You want to help Dimitri out, but you don't know what to do yet.

"Hey Dimitri, I think we should stop the fight." You say.

He looks at you confused by your sudden change of attitude.

> Ask Edelgard to return Dimitri’s crack stash

You look at Dimitri and ask Edelgard if she can retrieve his crack stash. She nods in agreement.

You smile to yourself as you feel better already.

> Watch as Edelgard gives Dimitri his crack

You stand up and walk towards Dimitri. You grab a fistful of cracker and hand it to Dimitri. He takes the bag and begins chewing on the crackers.

You watch as Edelgard walks away from Dimitri, leaving him alone with his snack.

> Return to your lunch table and see how Hilda is doing

You head back to your table and find Hilda sitting there.

"How was school today?" You ask.

"It was fine." Hilda replies. "I had a good teacher."

> !”Professor Byleth is pretty chill.”

"Yeah, Professor Byleth is pretty chill." You reply.

"So, did you have any fun times today?" Hilda asks.

> !”I watched Edelgard and Dimitri fight again. Wasn’t it pretty interesting?”

Hilda laughs.

"Well yeah, it was pretty exciting seeing those two fight each other."

"Oh really?"

"Yep! They were fighting over who got to be the class president!" Hilda says excitedly.

“Really?

> !”I thought they were just fighting over Dimitri’s stash.”

"No, no, they weren't! It wasn’t even about that! They were actually fighting because Edelgard wanted to be class president too!"

"What?! How could you possibly know such a thing?!"

"Because I read it in one of her books!"

> !”We can use their feuding against them and win the presidency for ourselves!”

"Alright then, let's go get some more books and read them together!"

You both head to the library where you start reading the most boring book ever. After an hour or so of this, you hear a loud noise coming from outside.

> Look outside and see that Edelgard and Dimitri are fighting again

You look outside and see that Edelgard has been hit in the face with a rock. The pair of them are still locked in combat, but now you can hear Dimitri crying out for help.

The sound of the noise gets louder until it becomes unbearable.

> Take advantage of Dimitri and Edelgard’s recklessness and start a speech about why you’d be a better class president than either of them in an attempt to get some votes

You rush to Dimitri and try to stop him from attacking Edelgard.

Dimitri grabs you by the collar of your shirt and starts choking you. You struggle against him, but he's stronger than you think.

> Make a stupid joke

You laugh at Dimitri's expense and tell him that he should’ve killed Edelgard instead of trying to kill him. This causes Dimitri to release you and he runs off.

> Charm the students of the Officers Academy and attempt to convince them that Dimitri and Edelgard are way too violent to be class president

You run up to the officers academy and speak to all of its students.

"Hey guys, we need to vote on something! We need someone who will be less violent than these two!" You shout.

"Whoa, hold on! Who are you?"

> Present yourself and announce your decision to run for class president

You introduce yourself to everyone and explain what happened yesterday. Everyone seems to like your story, except for one person.

"Why would you want to be class president when you could be the best fighter in school? You're not going to beat me anyway." He remarks.

> Look at the idiot who spoke, obviously Ferdinand Von Aegir

"Fucking hell, do you have any idea how hard it is to become class president? There are probably ten people who want the position and only one of them has done anything worthwhile! What makes you think that you're going to be any different?"

Ferdinand looks down.

> Tell the masses to vote for you and smile

"Alright, alright, calm down. Let's keep things civil. Anyway, I'm running for class president because I believe that violence is never the answer and that you should always strive to achieve your goals peacefully if possible."

Everyone applauds your words and votes for you as class president.

> Tell the masses that you are running alongside Hilda, who will be class Vice President

You tell the masses that you are running alongside Hilda, who will be class vice president.

Hilda looks very surprised. She asks you what exactly you mean. You explain that she is a good candidate since she believes in peace and harmony, which is something that you also believe in.

> Call over Ferdinand, Edelgard, and Dimitri in order to initiate the class presidential debates!

You walk towards Ferdinand, Edelgard, and Dimitri. They stand there looking shocked and confused.

You approach Ferdinand first.

> Mockingly wish him good luck in the debate

You say "Good luck in the debate, Ferdinand. I know you're ready for this." You then turn around and wink at Hilda before walking away.

Edelgard looks at you with disgust while Dimitri just shakes his head and walks away.

> Begin the debate between you, Edelgard, Dimitri, and Ferdinand!

The Class Presidential Debates commence! The candidates are ready for battle!

As the debates go on, you feel more confident about your chances against each of the three candidates.

> !Professor Byleth approaches the podium and asks 20 intricate debate questions

Professor Byleth: Alright class, let's get right into the meat of this matter. Which of us can make the most complex argument using the fewest words?

Ferdinand von Aegir: Well...

You raise your hand and laugh at Ferdinand. He laughs back but doesn't seem to find it funny.

Ferdinand: Oh come on, I was just trying to be clever!

You: No, you were being stupid!

> Laugh at him

You raise your hand and laugh at Ferdinand. He laughs back but doesn't seem to find it funny.

Ferdinand: Oh come on, I was just trying to be clever!

You: No, you were being stupid!

> Let Professor Byleth continue asking you and the other candidates questions

You: Ferdinand, stop being so pretentious. It's not like you were actually trying to impress me with your knowledge or anything. You were just trying to be clever.

Ferdinand: (Sigh) Fine, fine, whatever. I'll try my best.

> !Professor Byleth continues asking you and the other candidates questions

Professor Byleth: Alright class, let's move onto the next topic. What do you think of our current world situation? Do you agree with the way things are currently going on?

You: Um...I don't really have an opinion on the state of things.

> Watch as Edelgard fiercely rants against the concept of nobility, while Dimitri looks on in shock.

Edelgard: This whole system is completely rotten! It's all based on lies and deception! We need to break free from it!

You: Yeah, I agree. I think we should totally kick nobles out of power.

Edelgard: How?!

> Say “I thought you had a plan? A class president needs a good plan.”

You: I thought you had a plan? A class president needs a good plan.

Edelgard: Uh, yeah...I guess...but what exactly would that plan entail?

You: Let's see here...(sigh)...

> Point out how Edelgard cannot make a plan, and thus she shouldn’t be class president

Edelgard: I'm sorry, but I just don't have any plans. My mind is too clouded by thoughts of rebellion.

You: That's because you're not making a plan!

> !Dimitri starts arguing with Edelgard just because he’s edgy

Dimitri: Hey, hey! Calm down, Edelgard! Sheesh, calm down there, ladyboy. You know you want to. Look, if you really wanted to rebel against the status quo then why didn't you just start doing it yourself?

> Watch them argue and snack on popcorn

You: (Sigh) Okay, well I suppose they both deserve to lose their positions.

You turn away from the two and go back to watching the rest of the candidates.

The bell rings signaling lunch time. The candidates stand up and begin heading towards their tables.

> Go back to your lunch table and find Hilda

You head back to your table and find Hilda sitting alone. She notices you looking over at her.

Hilda: Hi, Claude.

You: What are you doing here?

Hilda: Oh, nothing much. Just needed to get away from the others for awhile.

You: So where did you go?

Hilda: Well, I went to the cafeteria and got some food before coming back here.

> Ask Hilda where her gf Marianne is

Hilda: Hey, you know where Marianne is?

You: No, why?

Hilda: Because she's my girlfriend! And I told you so in this letter I found under my desk.

You: Huh? Why would Marianne be your girlfriend?

Hilda: Well, it was kind of an accident.

We were talking about our future together and we started kissing. It wasn't planned or anything. Anyway, I think we should stop talking about this now since it might cause problems later. Besides, you can tell me all about it when you get home.

You: Um...

> Ask Hilda if she saw the debates earlier

Hilda: Yeah, I saw them. They were pretty boring though. Everyone was just spouting off random ideas that had no basis in reality. I mean sure, some people tried to sound smart, but most of what they said was complete nonsense.

You: How was I?

Hilda: Not bad actually. I thought you'd do better than the other candidates.

You: (Sigh) Alright, alright, I'll try harder next time. Thanks for telling me everything though. It made me feel a little more comfortable with myself. Now let's eat!

> Feast like kings

After eating, you sit down at one of the empty seats near the front of the room. Your stomach growls loudly as you realize how hungry you are. You grab a piece of fruit and start chewing it greedily.

Suddenly, someone sits across from you.

0 notes