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myheartrevealedocs · 3 years

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Untouchable Ch 21: Elephant’s Memory (S3E16)

Warnings: murder, mentions of terrorism, mentions of drugs and addiction

Ch 20 | Ch 22

~ ~ ~

“I’m proud of you,” Spencer said, speaking up for the first time on their drive.

“You’re proud of me?” she asked, startled.

“Yes,” he argued. “Look at you! You’ve got a car now. Twenty-four years old, teaching two college classes and working for the FBI.”

“I’m more proud of you!” she shot back. “A full year sober! I can’t imagine how difficult it has been for you.”

“Thank you for coming with me.” Spencer sunk slightly in the passenger seat.

After the death of Ryan Phillips in front of the two of them, Spencer had been struggling with his cravings again. He hadn’t relapsed, of course, but he was plagued by nightmares and a lack of motivation. When he admitted this to Lydia, she’d suggested he look up some support meetings nearby. Tonight was going to be his first time attending the Beltway Clean Cops group.

“I’m more than happy to come along!”

The two of them sat in the back of the room, listening calmly to different people talk about their situations. Spencer had just gotten the courage to take the stage when Lydia got a text from Hotch.

Briefing in 30. Can’t get ahold of Reid. Please tell him.

Lydia dropped her head into her hands. Could it not wait just a few more moments? He had barely started speaking aloud and Lydia could see him trying to ignore the buzzing phone in his pocket.

“Hi. Uh… My name’s, uh, Spencer, and I’m uh… I don’t really know what I am.”

“Hello Spencer,” the crowd greeted.

“This is my- This is my first meeting,” he sputtered, his eyes locking with Lydia’s every few seconds. “I guess I, uh… I know I had a… a problem with Dilaudid, but… I stopped. My girlfriend helped me to stop about a year ago. I thought it was over, but recently I’ve really been… your literature uses the term ‘craving’. It started about a month ago. A- A suspect was murdered in front of me. A kid. And I thought that I could save that kid, but I couldn’t, and… Sorry.” He pulled out his phone, rejecting another call from their boss. “I’ve seen a lot of that stuff before, but for some reason that kid’s face is really, uh… stuck in my brain. You know? It’s really- I can’t… And I want to forget… about him. And I just want to escape.”

Once again, he pulled his phone from his pocket and stepped away from the microphone, mumbling his apologies. Lydia got up and ran around to the side door to follow him out.

“I’m sorry,” she said as they met up and started walking to the car. “I didn’t want to interrupt you-”

“It’s fine,” he breezed. “Let’s just… get this over with.”

~ ~ ~

“Sorry we’re late,” Spencer announced as he and Lydia jogged into the conference room..

“Do I want to know what you two were up to?” Morgan teased.

Lydia was quick to cover Spencer’s secret for him. “You sound as if going to the movies is scandalous.”

“Movies, hm?” Rossi joined. “Tell us what the movie was about.”

“Wouldn’t know. We didn’t get to finish it.”

Both boys gave the couple a look. Spencer started to shrink in his seat, but Lydia kept up her stance, not wanting them to push for anymore answers.

“I know it’s late,” Hotch interrupted. “I know we’re tired, but we’ve got two dead cops.”

“Alright.” JJ opened up the file in front of her and continued briefing the team, pointing to what looked to be a massive house fire displayed on the scene. “The resident, Rod Norris, was DOA. They’re still trying to ID the remains of the second victim, whom they believe is his 16-year-old daughter Jordan. From the condition of the remains, she would have had to have been inside the house, close to the source of the blast.”

“Clearly they used the bombing to set the officers up for an ambush,” Emily noted.

Spencer nodded. “It’s a well-established terrorist tactic. The first wave takes out civilians, the second wave takes out first responders.”

“The locals are thinking terrorism?” Morgan asked. “In West Bune, Texas?”

JJ nodded. “Not exactly a tier-one target, but DHS did issue a terror alert for the border states yesterday, just due to the timing and nature of the attacks.”

As the team argued about the chances of this being an actual terrorist attack, Lydia looked over her file. An explosive went off in Rod Norris’s house, and when two cops arrived on the scene, they were shot. Hotch probably wanted her working on identifying the explosive and seeing if there is any evidence to recover from the house.

Simple enough.

~ ~ ~

“The blast was localized here,” Lydia announced as she walked onto the scene. “The room was sealed off. There’s plastic and duct tape on the doors and windows.”

“Cordite,” Rossi added as he smelled something on the ground. “Gunpowder.”

Reid was looking through his file. “Yeah. They found a dozen canisters, it says.”

Rossi and Prentiss put their heads together, determining where Jordan and Rod were standing when the explosion happened. Lydia ran her fingers over the door frames. Whoever set this up wouldn’t need to clean up their evidence. There was no way she could recover anything out of the pile of ashes that used to be the Norris house.

“They didn’t care about the rest of the house,” Spencer said, more to Lydia than the others. “The whole thing’s designed to focus the blast on whoever came through that door.”

“If that’s true, something had to trigger the blast,” she reasoned.

Emily held up a charred box of cigarettes. “Rod Norris was a smoker.”

Lydia glanced at the floor where all the gunpowder had been set. Drop a hot cigarette on that? Kaboom.

“I’ve been working with you profilers long enough to know that no terrorist is going to watch Rod Norris long enough to know that he was going to enter through this door and be smoking a cigarette at a specific time,” Lydia replied. “This is too personal.”

~ ~ ~

The more they learned, the more the case reeked of personal problems.

Their unsub was a boy named Owen Savage. His father was one of the responding officers on the Norris scene. He’d staged the explosion to kill Jordan Norris’s dad and look like Jordan had died too. Then, when his father showed up, he shot him and his partner. They were pretty sure that Jordan wasn’t a part of the murders and was either a hostage or was completely unaware of the situation. She had been dating Owen for a long time, so it was likely she had agreed to leave with him, without checking in with her father.

Lydia had been talking with Garcia about the teens’ families when she saw Spencer storm away out of the corner of her eye. He had just… left.

Finishing up her conversation, she ran over to Hotch.

“Did you send Spencer away?”

“Have you seen how he’s been acting?” Hotch snapped.

She wasn’t surprised to hear that Spencer was moody. Leaving that meeting so suddenly was hard for him and he was still dealing with Ryan Phillips’s death. Working on another teen-involved case was probably not helping.

“Lydia, you two promised-”

“This isn’t a relationship thing!” she defended before he could say anything else. “He’s dealing with something else. The only reason I’m involved is because he told me about it. Please just…”

“Talk to him,” Hotch ordered. “His passive aggressive attitude is going to get him into trouble. The town’s already pissed we’re here.”

Lydia nodded, switching topics. “I heard that Officer Lett’s wife freaked out on you guys earlier. I’m sorry.”

“The police are under a lot of pressure to find who did this. They don’t need some angsty teen from the FBI telling them they’re stupid as well.”

She blinked. “He called someone stupid?”

“Talk to him,” Hotch repeated, ignoring her question.

“Yes, sir.”

~ ~ ~

“Has she calmed yet?” Lydia asked Emily.

They had been able to get in contact with Jordan Norris and tell her about what Owen had done, convincing her to run away from him and join them in the station, but she still didn’t fully trust them. It’d taken much persuasion and a lot of promises not to hurt Owen for her to give up where he was hiding. And now she was sobbing, half in fear, half in shame, in one of the private rooms in the station.

“No,” Emily replied, bluntly, on her way to get the girl another cup of water. “Did you hear from Hotch?”

Lydia nodded. “Owen wasn’t at the ranch. He left a note, I guess, about returning his mother’s necklace.”

Emily simply shrugged. “He can’t have gotten far. I’m sure the rest of the team will find him.”

She walked back to the grieving girl, who JJ was currently comforting, leaving Lydia alone in the bullpen of the station. That is, until Spencer came rushing in, brushing past her to get to their evidence boards.

“Spencer?” she called, already on his heels. “Why are you back?”

“They think he’s going to his mother’s grave,” he breathed, yanking a photo from the board and then looking around for Jordan.

“Isn’t he?” she demanded, seeing that the picture he had grabbed was the photo of Owen’s mother that he kept on his laptop. She was smiling, pointing to her necklace, which said ‘Hope’.

Hotch had assumed by Owen’s note that Owen was taking that necklace to his mother’s grave, as a way of ‘giving it back’ to her. But when Spencer interrupted Jordan and JJ’s conversation, throwing the photo in the young girl’s face, Lydia understood what he was thinking.

“He was gone when we got to the ranch. I want to save his life, but I need to ask you a question. This necklace-- he gave it to you?”

He spoke so fast, it was hard to differentiate between sentences, but Jordan took a second to process what he had said, then nodded. “I left it at the ranch.”

“He’s coming here,” Spencer said, already on his way out of the station.

Lydia jumped in front of him, already holding up a hand to stop him. “He’s going to do everything he can to get to Jordan.”

“I can’t let him do this, Lydia,” he hissed, trying to push past her. “It’s a suicide mission. I won’t let him die.”

“I know this is hard for you,” she told him, still maintaining eye contact to keep him in place. “But I can’t let you do this alone. Tell me the plan, and we walk out together.”

He glanced at the door, clearly anxious to leave before Owen got there. But his eyes were somewhat relieved to tell her what he was going to do. “Leave your gun. He wants to go down shooting. If we don’t have weapons, he has no reason to kill us. The only thing he wants more than death, is to apologize to Jordan so… I have to make it clear that that’s still an option.”

Lydia was already pulling her gun from its holster, setting it down on the desk beside her. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

He nodded, sternly, and unarmed, the two of them walked out of the station, side by side.

The sun was unbearable outside. The two of them could barely see Owen’s dark figure approaching down the block, but the shotgun across his chest was hard to miss. Lydia’s hands were already up, her palms facing outwards. Spencer followed suit as the boy saw them approaching and aimed his weapon in their direction.

“Reid!” Prentiss screamed, leaving the station just in time to watch them walk into danger. “Ambers!”

The two of them ignored her, Spencer stepping forward to speak. “Owen, we don’t have guns on us. My name is Spencer, this is Lydia, we’re with the FBI, and we’re here to help you.”

“Yeah?” he cried. “I need you to stay back.”

There were tires squealing behind them and Lydia finally glanced behind her to see a black SUV with Rossi, Morgan, and Hotch inside pull up behind them. As Spencer continued, they threw open the doors and positioned themselves behind them, guns at the ready.

“I know the only reason you joined the wrestling team was for your father. I know that he blamed you for what happened-”

“Stay back! Right where you are!”

“-I also know the only reason you killed Rod Norris and Kyle Borden was to protect Jordan. I know the harder you tried, the worse it got, and it felt like everyone just stood there watching you suffer, and not a single person even tried to help.”

“They didn’t,” Owen sobbed. “They didn’t.”

“I know you want to escape… and forget. Believe me when I say I know… I know exactly how that feels.”

Lydia, listened to him speak. This case with Owen was really hard for him. She knew that he was dealing with cravings, but the way he spoke to Owen made her think it was something more. She’d never imagined that highschool was easy for Spencer. He was only 12 at the time. But there was clearly something specific on his mind.

Lydia kept glancing back so that she could position herself between Owen and the rest of the team. Hotch was going to kill her later. She was certain of it. But she was convinced that they were more likely to shoot Owen than Owen was likely to shoot her or Spencer. And for Spencer’s sake, she’d do anything to keep Owen from dying.

“Owen, there’s so much more for you out there,” Lydia finally spoke up.

“No. No, I’m already dead.”

“You aren’t dead,” she promised. “If you die, you’re going to leave Jordan. And right now, she’s in the station begging us not to hurt you.”

“You don’t want to leave her like your mother left you,” Spencer agreed.

“Ok.” Owen’s head shook wildly, trying to keep the upper hand on the situation. “Bring her to me. Bring her outside.”

“I can’t bring her outside,” Spencer quickly told him. “But, if you put the gun down, I swear to god, I’ll take you to her. I promise, nobody will hurt you. You’ll say goodbye to her, and you’ll give her the necklace. Alright? So what do you say? Let’s put the gun down. Let’s go inside.”

Lydia could see the battle in Owen’s mind, so she added, “Owen, Jordan loves you so much. If not for your sake, come in peacefully for hers. She’s been through so much, don’t let her live with this on her conscience as well.”

Finally, he nodded, reaching underneath his overcoat and taking the strap of the shotgun off his shoulder. Pointing it away, he stepped forward and put the weapon softly on the ground.

Now that he was unarmed, Lydia stepped to the side and let the team see Owen, his arms already above his head.

“They have to cuff you now, Owen,” Lydia told him calmly, trying to maintain eye contact with him so he didn’t see all the FBI agents running towards him and freak out. Spencer moved the gun aside and stepped up next to her. “You did so good, Owen. I know this is scary, but just stay calm. I promise we’re taking you to Jordan right now.”

“You two okay?” Morgan asked as he grabbed Owen's arms and locked them behind his back.

Spencer nodded, patting the boy down and pulling a knife from his belt as well as his mother’s necklace. “We’re fine.”

Lydia turned and finally made eye contact with Hotch. A very, very pissed off Hotch.

~ ~ ~

The night had hit fast and the whole plane was quiet. Lydia leaned into Spencer’s shoulder, her mind drifting with everything that had happened on the case. As much as she had to be worried about, her mind kept coming back to the same point: despite how stressed he was, Spencer told her the plan. He let her come with him. And that said volumes about the trust between the two of them. She knew that. She could see it so clearly now.

The strong connection she felt to him in the moment, couldn’t even be broken when Hotch sat down across from the two of them, his face a state of unwavering seriousness.

“You two knowingly jeopardize your lives and the lives of others. I should fire you both.”

Reid bit down on his lip nervously. “You have to understand that this was entirely my idea, sir.”

“Ambers?” Hotch addressed. “Do you believe Reid deserves the blame for this?”

“No, sir.”

Despite his clear anger, Lydia knew that Hotch wasn’t going to fire them. In fact, she doubted they’d get much punishment at all. He was good at understanding the intentions of his team.

He looked at Spencer again. “You’re the smartest kid in the room, but you’re not the only one in that room. You pull something like this again, don’t expect lenience from me. The same goes for you, Lydia. Am I clear?”

Spencer nodded immediately, “Yes, sir,” with Lydia following suit.

“It won’t happen again.”

“Thank you,” Spencer added.

“What were you thinking?”

Lydia dropped her hand over her boyfriend’s and waited patiently for him to answer. She may have followed him into the line of fire, but in the end, it was his decision, which would have happened with or without her.

“I was thinking that that would have been the second time a kid died in front of me.”

“You’re keeping score.” Hotch shook his head in warning. “Just like Owen.”

“It was my turn to save one,” Spencer joked, without much of the humor.

“It doesn’t work like that.”

“It should.”

Lydia listened intently to their conversation. This was obviously a talk the Spence needed to have with his boss on his own. They both needed to address the death of Ryan Phillips.

“I know it’s painful when the person you identify with is the bad guy,” Hotch told him and Spencer’s eyes fell to his intertwined fingers with Lydia.

“What does that make me?”

“Good at the job.” For the first time that night, there seemed to be a hint of a smile on his face.

Lydia leaned back onto her boyfriend’s shoulder as the unit chief stood up, but he continued to speak to them as he stepped into the walkway of the jet.

“I know it’s none of my business, but when we land, I think you should go and catch the rest of that movie.”

Lydia almost stupidly asked him what he was referring to, forgetting all about the cover she had set up for them at the beginning of the case to excuse their tardiness.

“He has to know that was a lie,” Spencer mumbled into her hair.

“No doubt,” she agreed. “But I think he knows that whatever it was was important to the two of us. That’s all that really matters, right?”

“Right,” he whispered, tiredly drifting off against her side.

Tags: @kris-stuff, @wooya1224, @arthurmorrgans, @anotherr-fine-mess, @eddysocs

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just-like-playing-tag · 4 years

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A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!

#This was supposed to be posted on July 13th as one year and one month since I made the blog #but Tumblr decided to be a jerk and deleted all of it 😊#So here we are #tpn #tpn manga spoilers #long post #Again this is just a personal report don't stress over reading all of it #But it was fun to make!#To the people I tagged: sorry for tagging you in this long post but also it would have felt weird not to do so? I hope you don't mind #It felt like... Giving credits foe something you've done y'know

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literaphobe · 4 years

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tell us the midsummer night’s dream story!!!

oh boy!! ok so some backstory, midsummer night’s dream production happened when i was 14, it was my second year in secondary school (think of it as high school but ages 13-16 instead of 14/15-17/18) AND it was for like... a national competition (where u could be awarded gold, silver or bronze)

the competition was a biannual thing, and in my school, there used to be a rule where year 1 students weren’t allowed to act. it was a very stupid rule. i hated that rule. anyway, since the competition was every two years, when it wasn’t competition year we would do a normal school production. lucky for me, competition year took place in my second and fourth year (so i got two chances to do it. which is SO funny because i ended up quitting the production in my fourth year. i will tell that story if prompted)

so why am i telling u this? it’s because of the year 3 students (who were like my seniors who only got one chance to act in the competition so this was a big deal to them), and how they.... uh.... reacted. honestly it was quite a number of my seniors in the drama club in general who were pieces of fucking shit. anyway let me explain

we did a modern adaptation of a midsummer night’s dream. i auditioned for the role of hermia (the girl who was loved by two men) and so did several of my seniors. and you know! after the auditions we were chatting and i specifically remember asking a senior “hey what role did you audition for? :D” “hermia!” “oh i hope you get the role!!!!”

i got the role of hermia :) i mean... it did not come as a shock to me. every single role i ever played up to this point was a main character role. and the way our director wrote the script hermia was DEF a main character because of the sheer number of scenes she was in (idk the REAL a midsummer night’s dream ok i wouldn’t go fucking read the OG play or anything),,,,,, and many people were pissed about it

the reason was mostly simple...... jealousy. and like i was the only year 2 student getting cast in such a big role. the other 3 out of the 4 lovers were all year 3 students. and my seniors were pissed and they complained behind my back about how i shouldn’t be allowed to have such a big role because i was only a year 2 student. well, if they were so pissed, hm, maybe they shouldn’t have been so, y’know, untalented? :/ like damn i’m sorry my meat is so huge

and it’s not like i got the role because i was hot or anything. oh no! i was fat and not conventionally attractive in any way, and people brought THAT up to shame me..... including the guy who was supposed to play lysander (YOU KNOW THE GUY WHOS SUPPOSED TO ACT IN LOVE WITH MY CHARACTER)..... he was “having trouble acting” and he was blaming it on ME being “not attractive enough” and i think he might have said something about how i should wear eyeliner or something??? he eventually warmed up to me and said YO ACTING W U IS ACTUALLY REAL FUN but in hindsight??? the fact that he would say shit like that in the first place??? FUCK THAT GUY

anyway, the complaints got so bad that i got KICKED OUT OF MY ROLE AS HERMIA,,,, like bitch that shit BROKE me and my director was like yeah i’m sorry.... but also u still get a role don’t worry!! and she gave me this comic relief role (which wasn’t as big a role but i still got quite a lot of lines!! i felt so bad tho because the girl who had the comic relief role lost it because the director couldn’t stand not having me in the play saying shit) WHICH ACTUALLY ENDED UP BEING SO FUN TO PLAY.... AWAKENED MY LOVE FOR COMIC ACTING PERHAPS.... and like. some skinny conventionally attractive year 4 student became the new hermia :/

BUT BUT BUT GUESS WHAT.... BITCH FUCKING SUCKED.... UNTALENTED AS SHIT..... MY DIRECTOR COULDN’T STAND IT.... and by then people didn’t give a shit anymore about who was playing what.... the disappointment of not being special faded for them i guess? :/ and our director was like ok fuck this shit Michelle will be playing hermia again. and the comic relief role went back to the girl who was playing it before! <3 (i did a better job at it but still <3 it’s ok i liked her she was nice so she deserved the role back <3) and my temporary hermia replacement.... idk she either became part of the ensemble or like backstage crew?

oh the thing that was SO cool and fun about our midsummer night’s dream production was that our principal LOVED theatre so she gave us a SHIT ton of money. our props and set were huge as FUCK and so SO pretty. it all looked real we had an actual staircase and a SWING SET (that we couldn’t swing on for real but it still slapped)

i don’t remember any more drama like i mean i had already proved myself to be most suited for the role? by being the fucking best? anyway on the day of the competition a few things went wrong during other people’s scenes. many of the props were knocked over by some careless actors and parts of the set were messed up too (including the swing set!!!! it got SUPER tangled) so my teacher was freaking out and whispering to me seconds before i ran out on stage (oh yeah it was a competition so our performance was 15 minutes and it had to be TIGHT as hell and there was so little space backstage it was a nightmare) “MICHELLE WHEN YOU GO OUT THERE’S GOING TO BE A LOT OF STUFF MESSED UP IF YOU CAN COULD YOU HELP FIX SOME OF THEM”

and boy oh BOY was the place a mess when i walked on stage to do my scene. fucking don’t know what my idiot cast mates did but it was a MESS mess. but like. whatever, y’know? i just decided that the scene being a mess was how the character stumbled upon it, and i fixed the swing set by pretending my character wanted to play with it. i fixed everything in character. and the last thing i did was put back this huge block that toppled over DURING the blackout it was incredible i fixed EVERYTHING all by MYSELF in record timing even tho the IDIOT SENIOR GUY WHO WAS IN THE SCENE WITH ME TOO DID NOTHING (but like in his ‘defense’ the teacher didn’t ask him to do anything)

my teacher literally cried after the performance and hugged me saying i saved the show and that i did amazingly blah blah blah.... like i guess she didn’t expect me to fix Everything in One Scene while keeping completely in character and not messing up any of my lines or any important blocking etc etc..... i really fixed everyone’s mistakes and made it easier on everyone huh :/

anyway! we got the highest rank which was like gold/distinction! i remember everyone in the drama club running around in school telling each other WE GOT IT WE GOT THE DISTINCTION (something our school had never done before,,,, you know until i came along JFKSKDKD i mean group effort and we got a lot of money that year so,, but still) and i was so cocky i was like “yeah duh of course we got it there’s no way we weren’t getting that” (i mean the competition people posted a picture of our school’s performance on their Twitter!!! they didn’t do that for any other school)

LASTLY the judges sent back their remarks on our performance and they said the girl who was playing hermia was incredible!!! no mention of the other three main characters playing the lovers tho :) oh no :) boo hoo :)

#ask #this is so long sorry

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 4 years

Text

Episode 12: Internal Affairs

Not going to lie. I know some people hate this episode but it’s one of my favourites.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

0:14 - Sure. Let’s start this episode off by shoving a knife through my heart. Look at Malcolm’s broken little face. :( He knows Gil didn’t deserve that outburst. Gil knows it too - but it still to hear. This episode aired months ago and I think my heart is still trying to heal.

0:20 - Look at Dani’s inner conflict here. She loves both of these doofuses and she can’t decide who to go and comfort.

0:30 - Dani just figured out that Malcolm is hallucinating. She knows what he looks like when he hallucinates from 1x5. Now she’s scared. So is Malcolm. Look at their eyes. Mmmmhmmm. This is good whump.

1:30 - This is Gil being a total dad to Malcolm. He’s already forgiven the idiot for being a jerk last night. Now he’s helping Malcolm put on his tie like Malcolm is 12 years old. You can see that Gil is still a little annoyed with Malcolm but I think it’s probably based out of concern. Gil’s scared because he knows Malcolm isn’t sleeping and he knows Malcolm’s mental health has been spiralling lately. He’s terrified because he knows that Malcolm (unintentionally...sort of) tried to kill himself last night. Gil’s scared that Malcolm is entering active suicidal territory as opposed to his usual passive suicidal territory. Maybe Malcolm’s behaviour is also reminding Gil of a time when Malcolm was suicidal as a teenager? Gil’s probably worried about the investigation too and how Malcolm’s mental state will affect it.

2:21 - Malcolm walks into that interview room and just starts exuding manic energy. Yikes. This boy looks tired, scared, manic, and determined. He needs a nap and a hug. This will not go well.

2:54 - “I’m not sure I have a safe space.” There’s a couple of these types of lines that Malcolm lets slip during this interview. Every one of them scares me because they’re completely true statements that Malcolm would never normally share out loud. Especially since he knows the room is wired and the team is listening. He doesn’t want them to think he’s weak. He doesn’t want Gil to make him stop working. It sheds a light on just how fragile his mental state is and that is just heartbreaking.

3:10 - So everyone knows that Malcolm uses humour as a coping mechanism for his trauma and pain. Good to know. Check out Malcolm’s face right after he says, “What else did they warn you about?”. He looks scared and a little confused. Almost as though he wasn’t entirely aware that he used humour as a coping mechanism and he’s afraid of what else the team might’ve picked up on regarding his mental state. He’s scared that if the team knows too much about what’s going on with him, he won’t be allowed to work anymore.

3:25 - Total side note here. Every time I watch this episode I have to do a double take because for a moment I think Dr. Coppenwrath is played by Marc Evan Jackson (Kevin in Brooklyn-99, Shawn in The Good Place). It’s not, but try telling that to my sleep deprived brain.

3:36 - Soooo was the room wired for everyone’s interview of just Malcolm’s? Because JT just verbally admitted that he’s friends with Malcolm. Does this mean the Malcolm has access to recorded evidence that JT is his friend? This is character development I can get behind. Look how far their relationship has come since the pilot. I’m so proud and so happy.

3:45 - Malcolm was in the hospital for “weeks”. I really want to know exactly how much time has passed since the end of 1x11. Also. How the hell did someone keep him in the hospital that long? The boy seems to like signing himself out of hospitals AMA. AND WHAT HAPPENED TO WATKINS?!?!? and why is no one giving me a scene of the team visiting Malcolm in the hospital?! This is the scene that my heart wants.

4:04 - It physically hurts me to watch Gil say “Watkins tortured you”. Kudos to Lou Diamond Phillips. Gil looks wrecked - almost like he’s trying not to cry. He probably blames himself for the extent of Malcolm’s injuries because he didn’t find Malcolm sooner. He’s probably remembering just how scared he was when he showed up at the Whitly house to find his kid bleeding out from a stab wound (in my headcanon Gil is the first responder on the scene and he finds all three Whitlys upstairs).

4:09 - hahaha that look. Gil is like “you can’t lie to me you little idiot” and Malcolm immediately back peddles. hahaha this is a true father/son moment. I love it.

4:25 - One of the reasons that I love this episode so much is because it makes me feel an array of emotions. I go from worrying about Malcolm’s mental health to laughing at some stupid comment one of the characters makes. I mean seriously : “If Bright was an actual state he’d be Florida.” hahahaha that is iconic.

4:42 - Yep. Malcolm has reached peak mania. He’s ranting about jello with a very manic expression on his face. Which is kind of adorable but also very concerning.

4:47 - OMG. This whole Elsa/Jessica/Dani/Malcolm scene is amazing. Jessica is so extra here and Malcolm is done with it. Really makes me wonder what Jess was like when he was in the hospital. AND look at Malcolm’s broken little face when Jessica mentions his “more unruly nightmares” he’s so embarrassed and ashamed. :( AND DANI. OMG. Every time the camera pans to her she just has this perfect expression on her face like “This whole family is whack. I feel like I’m intruding but also I kind of want to be here because I sort of care about this loser?”

6:44 - I love how the whole team is showing their own personal brand of concern for Malcolm when he shows up at the scene. Malcolm reacts so perfectly to it. He looks a little overwhelmed that they’re all concerned. Like he was only expecting Gil to care.

7:00 - I’ll say it again. Someone needs to show my dude Gil some love. This man needs a break. Look how utterly exhausted he looks when he says “100%”. Ugh. This man worries way too much about his kids.

7:14 - hahaha the look that Gil gives Edrisa here. hahaha he’s so shocked and annoyed that she knows the details of Bright’s injuries because she pulled his medical records. I love it.

7:31 - The way Gil sort of directs Malcolm to the crime scene with his arm concerns me. By the look on JT’s face - it concerns JT too. That arm is a signal of defeat. Gil is resigned to the fact that Malcolm just won’t take care of himself. Gil is too tired to send Malcolm home again especially since he knows that Malcolm won’t rest. So, Gil is giving in because at least this way he can keep an eye on Malcolm. BUT the fact that Gil gives into this is not a good sign for Gil’s mental health. THIS BOY NEEDS A NAP.

7:53 - Check out the way Malcolm’s eyes narrow when Coppenwrath insinuates that Malcolm’s “patients” help him understand himself because he too is a killer. This is a bad therapist move right here.

8:19 - I love that JT teases Malcolm when he’s concerned about him. It’s really sweet. SIDE NOTE - Malcolms shoes are nice. Dang.

8:46 - Check this out. Is Gil even listening to the profile? He’s staring at Malcolm with so much concern that I’m not even sure. While they are at the graveyard Gil does not look at Malcolm with anything but concern. Gil knows that there’s something more than Watkins going on with Malcolm right now.

9:30 - That is a haunting look. Malcolm looks numb. Dissociated.

10:14 - Malcolm almost looks like he’s having fun here? He’s lying through his teeth, living in a manic state but he seems to be enjoying the conversation. So that’s good, I guess?

10:32 - The look Malcolm just gave Coppenwrath is awesome. It’s a look that suggests that Malcolm is profiling the hell out of Coppenwrath right now and what he’s learning is really interesting to him.

10:38 - Is Coppenwrath allowed to know this much about the investigation? I mean, I thought he was evaluating Malcolm’s mental health - not the current case? He doesn’t really need that many details about the case.

10:57 - Awww. Gil going to bat for Malcolm is so sweet. <3 My heart is full.

12:02 - ....why does Gil know so much about the Vosler institute? Previous case? Advertisements? #justcurious

12:20 - Is Malcolm talking about himself here? He’s definitely guilty of a low self-worth and some schizotypal thinking. Has he been tempted by a cult?

13:54 - Is Dani checking Vosler out? I can’t tell if she’s amused that he’s such a bad liar or if she thinks he’s hot.

14:15 - Was Malcolm at the institute at the same time as the rest of the team? Wouldn’t they have seen him?

14:51 - Myers-Briggs is a personality test. How the hell would that identify how much trauma you have? ...but I’m not a doctor so what do I know?

15:30 - I feel like Gil is in an actual therapy session ranting about his dysfunctional, passively suicidal son. Gil looks almost comforted as he vents about how Malcolm can’t sleep. He still looks concerned for Malcolm but he looks less scared and more calm. I feel like this was a good experience for Gil. It’s allowing him to process just how bad Malcolm’s mental state is getting. Maybe we should get Gil a therapist.

15:37 - Things are getting too real again; so Malcolm is deflecting with humour.

15:43 - Again. If Coppenwrath was actually evaluating Malcolm’s mental state he wouldn’t care about Vosler. He wouldn’t keep asking Malcolm to tell him about the case and specifically about Vosler. Coppenwrath is so obviously hiding something. Ugh. It drives me crazy.

16:03 - That was honest. “I want it to go away.” Malcolm looks sincere, a little scared, and a little desperate. It breaks my heart.

16:53 - The fact that Malcolm let Vosler shock him is so upsetting. I know Malcolm is desperate to solve the case like usual. However, this time he’s disregarding his own health just a little too obviously for comfort.

17:15 - Look at how terrified Malcolm is as he gets shocked. Look at how much pain he’s in. Yet, he still finds it in him to glare at Vosler. I’m kind of proud of him?

17:41 - Malcolm is being sincere here. He really, truly doesn’t think he’s vulnerable to Vosler. Malcolm doesn’t seem to have self-awareness to his own low sense of self-worth. He’s so depressed that he doesn’t recognize how bad he’s getting. He’s just desperately trying to get answers and make trauma go away without addressing the side-effects of his trauma. My. Heart. Is. Shattering.

17:52 - This scene is another one of those moments when Malcolm unwittingly reveals a little too much about his mental state. He’s being honest with Coppenwrath when discussing his motivations to solve cases. It’s problematic because he accidentally admits that he values the lives of complete strangers over his own health and well-being. Someone please give Malcolm a hug.

18:43 - Another instance where Malcolm is acting like an amazing, kind, empathetic human. Look at how much compassion he has in his eyes for Andi. He so desperately wants to help Andi and it’s beautiful. Malcolm Bright (a man who is currently suffering in a self-destructive, manic, pain-ridden state) has transformed into a calm, sympathetic, comforting, level-headed guy. It’s amazing. He’s somehow able to shed all of his trauma and poor mental state and become 100% pure, untraumatized Malcolm Whitly. Gorgeous. A++.

21:35 - This. Ugh. Just. Just. It’s freaking perfect. “But I didn’t want to lose him.” Gil you are straight up breaking my heart. Look at how sincere Gil is right now. You can see just how much he adores Malcolm and how desperately Gil wants Malcolm to be happy, healthy, and safe. Ugh. I’m in love with this moment.

22:03 - I love how JT holds Malcolm back in this scene. As soon as Malcolm starts running out to Vosler both Dani and JT look concerned. JT grabs Malcolm but the way he holds Malcolm back is also sort of a hug. It’s not the way JT would hold back a stranger or a suspect. That’s the way you hold back a little brother. <3

22:10 - “She was taken by them”. Malcolm looks terrified here. He looks haunted, suspicious, and confused. It’s heartbreaking. Gil and JT look a little alarmed and concerned too.

22:12 - Gil is looking at Malcolm with pure dad!panic here. He’s watching Malcolm unravel and he looks scared, concerned, and a little angry. I’m mildly shocked that Gil didn’t call Jessica to come and take Malcolm home.

22:34 - “Okay. I wasn’t fine. I’m a mess.” This one hurts. I mean, I’m proud of Malcolm for being at least a little self-aware. This just sucks though. You can see the pain in Malcolm’s eyes when he admits it out loud. Followed by the stubborn look he gives Coppenwrath - the one that’s inviting him to ensue that Malcolm can’t do his job. It’s just heartbreaking to watch. All I can think about is the team’s faces as they listen to Malcolm’s outburst.

22:50 - Coppenwrath gives Malcolm a look here that says, “Damn, you are messed up.”

23:50 - The second someone reveals a personal trauma and/or personal problem Malcolm instantly becomes the most understanding, loving, compassionate human being on the planet. It’s beautiful.

24:28 - Malcolm looks so sad here. My heart is shattering.

24:38 - Wow. Malcolm’s voice is deep here. He sounds really upset. He’s angry and scared. I love it.

24:54 - Gil has soccer trophies in his office. In other scenes we’ve also been able to see that Gil has some signed baseballs in glass cases and some model cars in his office. Gil doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to keep his own sports trophies in his office. Maybe he plays casually in an NYPD league and those are the 16th precinct soccer trophies? BUT here is my true headcanon: Ainsley and/or Malcolm (but I’m feeling that this was more Ainsley’s thing) was really into soccer as a kid. Maybe Gil coached her team? Or he and Jackie took her to all of the games/practices because Jessica had to deal with Martin’s trials? Maybe she gave all of Gil her trophies at some point because she thinks that he deserves them too and he proudly displays them all. The baseballs and cars? Christmas/birthday gifts from Malcolm, Ainsley and/or Jackie over the years. I will die with this theory because it makes me happy.

25:50 - More hints from the writers that there’s something romantic brewing between Jessica and Gil.

26:40 - This whole scene with the deprogrammers is strange. It’s weird that Malcolm is standing next to the couch like some kind of butler. BUT DAMN it is funny when Jessica starts making some not-so-subtle hints about wanting Malcolm to accept his trust fund, settle down, and give her grandchildren. I especially like this because it suggests that Malcolm doesn’t have access to the family money. I assume he pays for things with his salary except for when Jessica buys him things that she insists that he needs (like clothes? food? fancy headboards for his bed?).

27:40 - I love this whole JT, Gil, and Malcolm are tag teaming the interrogation thing. I love that JT and Gil are visibly pissed (because this dude killed someone) and they’re flanking him. I find it interesting that Malcolm is standing so far away - watching, until it’s time to start rambling about his observations. It’s a really great dynamic (I miss Dani though).

28:31 - Look at Malcolm’s face when Coppenwrath mentions the “incident”. He looks sad and guilty. He clearly feels bad for losing it on Gil. Look at the true fear on Dani’s face - she’s terrified at Bright’s mental state. AND GIL. Trying to take some of the responsibility for the incident because he looks sad, and scared for Malcolm too. My heart is so full with all of this whump.

28:48 - Another instance where Malcolm has his own desk. I seriously want to know what the deal is with the desk. Is it his? Does he share it? I want to know. So. Bad.

29:01 - Malcolm’s eyes remind me of the Pepe Sylvia scene in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. He looks like a manic dude riding on the wave of a crazy conspiracy theory. It’s not good. Gil looks like he’s walking on egg shells because he doesn’t know what to say to help Malcolm. That’s almost worse.

30:38 - Edrisa’s little moments in this episode are cute and funny. BUT WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO HER ABOUT THE CASE IF SHE DOESN’T HAVE ALL THE DETAILS? Aren’t you supposed to be talking to her about Malcolm’s mental state?!? Ugh.

31:00 - This exchange between Coppenwrath and Malcolm is great. Malcolm looks sooo upset. The way he bites his lip and stares at the ground to avoid eye contact. The way Coppenwrath lowers himself to enter Malcolm’s line of sight. Malcolm looks on the verge of tears. He’s openly admitting his current biggest problem: what Watkins told him and the hallucinations. Not just to Coppenwrath but to Gil, Dani, and JT too. He just wants a dad who loves him and my heart is shattered. He looks so so wrecked. Somebody hug him. Please.

33:30 - Malcolm isn’t talking about how he’s going to miss his work friends because he thinks going to get fired. He’s talking from the fear that his friends will abandon him when they find out that he’s hallucinating. He’s afraid that they’ll abandon him because they think he’s crazy. He looks so truly sad here. Ugh.

34:33 - Watching Malcolm expose Coppenwrath is upsetting. Usually, Malcolm has a look of determination, desperation, and mild sympathy in his eyes when he talks to a killer. This time - Malcolm just looks vacant, then self-satisfied, then annoyed. It’s different than usual, which is unsettling.

35:50 - Now Coppenwrath looks scared.

36:39 - I’ve never been so proud as the moment that the team steps out from the shadows to support Bright. Right as Coppenwrath is trying to convince Malcolm that the team thinks he’s crazy. My heart is full. Kill me now - I’ll die happy.

36:54 - I love this angle here. It’s not JT or Dani that we can see pulling out their guns. It’s papa Gil. The man who will undoubtedly shoot Coppenwrath if anything happens to Malcolm.

37:00 - Another issue I have. Malcolm doesn’t look scared when there is a gun pointed at his head. He looks alarmed but not scared. More proof of his suicidality. I am not okay.

37:05 - I love the scene where we see JT, Dani, and Gil all pointing guns into the room - desperate to help Malcolm. Look at the panic in Gil’s eyes as he orders a hostage negotiator.

37:37 - Only Malcolm could possibly feel bad for the man with a gun pointing a gun at his head.

38:45 - I do not like how visibly upset Malcolm is in this scene. I mean my whump heart adores it but I also hate it because you know - whump is complicated.

39:23 - That hug was as much for Malcolm as it was for Andi.

39:40 - This is one of my favourite Gil/Malcolm scenes. It’s just wonderful. Gil looks so worried about Malcolm and Malcolm looks a combination of scared and resigned to what Gil is going to ask him. There is something about the way Gil asks “Are you okay?” that just feels like a knife in my heart. Then Malcolm answers truthfully, and I’m pretty sure my heart stopped altogether.

40:00 - Gil looks even sadder (if that’s possible) when Malcolm responds truthfully but he also looks resigned. He’s not surprised by Malcolm’s answer just of how easily he got the truth out of Malcolm.

40:24 - Gil has the absolute perfect response. “Okay.” Because Gil’s done too. Gil is almost as tired as Malcolm and for now Gil’s comforted by the fact that Malcolm is self-aware and being honest with him. For now - that’s enough.

40:44 - GIL YOU NEED A VACATION TOO.....omg. Can we get a Gil+Malcolm joint vacation. Please?!? That would be amazing. Someone write the fic!! Please!!

41:22 - Malcolm can see that Gil is upset. He knows he’s worrying Gil and he still feels guilty about the incident. Malcolm may be a little cracked right now but our boy is a mature adult. Watching Malcolm sincerely apologize to Gil feels like a warm hug. Gil’s little smile is everything. I want to cry happy tears.

42:30 - “I’m a civilian now Sunshine.”....does this imply that sometime between 1x6 (when Gil refers to Malcolm as a civilian on the police radio) and now Malcolm has become an official member of the NYPD?

I. Love. This. Episode. It’s not perfect but the insight to Malcolm is amazing. Thanks for hanging out my dudes.

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kuvvydraws · 4 years

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I'm not sure if you've answered this question already, but I'm honestly very curious- why do you write fanfiction? I certainly enjoy it as much as you and have written a few things of my own, but I know it can be quite a personal topic for many writers. If it's too personal for you, don't feel any pressure to answer, but it's always interesting to see the writer's perspective outside of the story they've written :). I hope you understand what I'm trying to say-

Hey!

I actually enjoy the words and the rush your brain gets when they join without effort to create a reality.

Now, let me break that down XD

I've always had a book in my hands as far as my memory goes. My dad used to read to me when I was very little and from the second I could do it on my own, that was the best thing ever (yes, that means when I was punished for doing some shit, my books were taken away and I had to sneak them into my schoolbag and read in class like a heathen).

Not only I enjoyed books but I always found myself wanting to partake in the stories, and my brain was always running with the words and the scenes. (I discovered during my teenage years that brains have different ways to process thoughts and mine did it in words, so writing just sort of came naturally to me at that point in my life).

I discovered ffnet when I was 12, I think, but I had tried my hand at original works (that is, about five or six starts of different novels that never saw the light) and some "fanfiction" (about Nightmare Before Christmas because I had a big ass crush on Jack and I unassumingly created my first xReader ever) without knowing what the hell I was doing.

I just knew I wanted to write stuff and I did as much.

The thing is, I introduced one of my friends, who also loved to read and write, to ffnet, and we started writing together. The first thing we wrote was a Sesshomaru x OC fic, the second one was a Sasori x OC fic, and we dipped out toes into some Kuroshitsuji x OC...... all of them handwritten stories we promised we would type in a computer eventually (we didn't, they were horrible [I still have the notebooks we used for each of them and they are cringey as fuck]).

But we wrote for ourselves and we were happy like that.

So we were rampant and wild and having the best time. Back then I still wrote in Spanish (because I hardly knew any English and I didn't care for it), and I remember mixing Spain's Spanish with the ones from South America because obviously the percentage of writers in ffnet who used a different "dialect" Spanish was huge if you compare a single, tiny country with a whole continent.

At the same time I wrote with my friend, I wrote for myself. Naruto, Kuroshitsuji, Bleach, Hetalia.... And I met so many people, nice people, who loved my works (they were random fics, all of them x OC because I didn't know x Reader ones were a thing -they weren't at that time, and x Reader are harder to write in Spanish because all the words and pronouns are gendered one way or another-) and I got so much enjoyment from sharing them.

The thing about books I love the most is the fact that you can convey so many emotions with a few symbols, and you can create worlds out of ink and you can change views and inspire others. So, if none of my dumbass teenage novels were to roam the word, I still could share, in a free, open and fast way, my words with others.

Again, I was going to write them with or without posting them because I found -and still find- great pleasure when a scene creates itself in your brain and all you have to do to make it real is to write it down. (Sometimes my brain still does this and even when I'm daydreaming, my imagination is "written, described and dialogued" as if someone was reading a novel out loud. It makes writing so much easier).

And then I got hate.

I somehow had managed to miss all of the fandom drama that's so toxic in the internet because I didn't bother to interact with anyone in the fandoms beyond the reviews they left in my fics, and ffnet has a -sort of- specific search engine to help you find whatever you want, so I could never willingly find the "problematic stuff" because I was literally not trying to find it.

The hate comment I got was anonymous and very specific about everything that was wrong in a particular fic I had just updated -from plot and characterization to grammar and continuity-, and later on I discovered it came from a couple of authors who shared an account and who I admired greatly for their works. Turns out they were out for blood and hating on every fic that had updated that week and that had any members of their OTP shipped with some other character. (It was a Hetalia fanfic, I was writing SpUK and they were pro FrUk, if anyone is interested).

I was contacted by some other authors asking about this because they had gone through the very same thing -same specific hate, same hate comment- and I remember not giving a fuck.

I was 16 when I got the hate, writing for fun and trying to find a way to go through my shitty highschool days without falling into the black out of depression that haunted me. I remember not wanting to write anything anymore, leaving a fic I was very invested in writing to gather dust and rot in the forgotten folders of my computer because every time I tried to get on with it and progress, it felt wrong.

That thing I said about words just happening? It stopped. My brain was silent as a grave and trying to get my words out became painful. I remember struggling to even write regular project for my school.

I kept reading, of course -it was my only comfort and I really, really didn't want to give up on it-, but I abandoned the fandoms I enjoyed so much before. My new focus became the sci-fi, and I remember being hooked on Predator. Imagine my joy when I discovered there were thousands of works from that fandom! I was extasic.

Problem? They were written in English.

I didn't know shit about English besides being a language I was supposed to handle in school, memorize the unreasonably spelt words that were pronounced illogically regarding the fucking spelling and the stupid ass irregular verbs.

But I learnt English because I wanted a hot piece of alien ass XD

Back to the topic of fanfics, I still roamed ffnet, keeping 15 tabs open and reading until 5 am... But now there was a world of possiblities in front of me because of course everyone on this goddamn Earth writes in English.

So, for the next years I did that, and my words didn't come. It was fine, tho, because I had so many new things to read.

It wasn't until fall of 2018 that I dabbed into the idea of maybe considering to perhaps give writing a try again????? I was neck deep into Undertale -still am, I'm a shameless skeleton fucker and there's no cure for that shit- and its many AU's and somehow I had managed to avoid fandom wars again, so my brain started toying with words... The same way it worked with novels: I got myself into the fics other people wrote (this is so much easier to do with x Reader fics, and I'm so happy about that and the massive boom they had just when Undertale came out, you can't even understand it).

So I kept doing my shit and daydreaming about skeletons and ribs and ecto-stuff for a very long time. It was kinda reassuring and nice to see other writers projecting on their x Readers so much because that's what I had done before.

And then Good Omens happened.

As I've said before, I actually discovered Gomens back in 2012 and it is, to the date, the worst translation to Spanish I've seen in my entire life to this date. And, despite it, I fell in love with it.

Now, barely in 2019, my dad gets Amazon Prime and the first thing he fucking sees is the font of Gomens on the screen. I had fangirled hard about Gomens in book version, so much and so annoyingly that I wouldn't leave my dad alone until he gave it a chance. It's the only book my father hasn't finished because the translation is that bad. He hates it.

Yet.

The particular font they use for the show is the same from the book's title. My dad of course recognized it immediately and knew I would want in on the news.

I confess I watched Gomens the show at least seven times before giving it a break because I liked it so much and the novel was so fucking good and it's honest to God the best adaptation I've ever seen to the screen. It's so good I'm fucking sure I was crying actual tears after watching it for the first time because my dreams and all the feelings that book had given me over the years and the many re-reads were "true" and so well done and it reached deep into my heart.

And then, for the first time in six years, my words came back.

Another thing Good Omens has given me, I have to say.

I don't know if I can stress this enough, but just imagine spending six years of radio silence, sending longing stares to the void and hoping to see something yours returning back, something you've lost and you're not sure you're getting back, something you think you don't need or want but that would be nice to have again. If only. You can live without that something, and no one but you cares about it, and it's not that big of a deal and-

Then you see a spark in the dark.

My words came back.

They weren't in Spanish, and it was hard to manage them at first, only being able to listen to them in short bursts over long periods of time.

But they were my words and they were back.

Writing is still hard, and I have a lot of work to do to improve my skills, to get them not only back but to refine them because I'm not writing in my native language and all I know is what I've learnt from other authors and their knowledge. I project a lot on my projects -I don't intend to stop because it's such a relief, the biggest scape from reality I get by doing so; it helps me deal with my problems, it gives me a break and a way to take a breath when I can't keep going...

Fanfics are where I can say what I want to say to the world in the most honest way, and that allows me to be me, and to express myself and indulge in the fantasies I dream about without having to force myself to think of them over and over and over. I can just sit back and enjoy content I know I like without being judged for it.

I can fucking make that content, too.

Writing feels like home, even if sometimes I still struggle, if I can't find my words or the expression is not quite like that in English, or if I can't find the words or if I'm suffering a block... because there's nothing scarier and more free than a blank page ready to be written.

#this is long as fuck #sorry for the trip because damn that's some heavy backstory i just puked #i still have my ffnet account but its been years since I've used it #only for predator and hp content i have to say #i have over 600 bookmarks there but who cares #kuvvytalks about some personal crap

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crqstalite · 4 years

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video game questionnaire :)

tagged by @greencrusader13 ! might be a little disappointed because anything i’ve posted recently (ME, DA + SWTOR) are the only games I’ve ever played. i know, i’m a gaming baby but i’m getting there lol.

Rules: Fill in your answers below and tag some buddies!

Games

First game you ever played: I want to say World of Warcraft. I was born a few months after it was released [it’ll be 16 before I am :( ] and my parents absolutely loved it throughout my childhood. They stopped playing retail a while back, but they got me into it back during Mists of Pandaria. I don’t play it anymore (no real reason other than that except for one time, I’ve been locked to free to play since I picked it up)

Favorite game: If you mean game I go back to just for the hell of it when I’m sad or bored, SWTOR.

Game you’ve played through multiple times: ...SWTOR. I have quite a few toons that are honestly just copies of each other. It isn’t perfect, but besides WOW it’s a game from my childhood. Been playing since beta (okay ‘playing’ is a rather complex word for wandering around and not knowing what the hell to do at eight years old)

Game you hated at first but now love: I’m usually willing to give most games a chance, even if I don’t like it. See: MEA. Can’t say I love it, but some of the characters I like.

Game you used to love but now hate: Overwatch. I used to be really into the competitive scene but the highest rank I ever managed was bottom of the barrel silver. They make it rather difficult to rise in rank, and I gave up a few years ago. Still play when I need a little bit of chaos in my life but it’s not on my list of games to love anymore.

Your favorite game atmosphere/setting(s): Mass Effect 1. Now saying I’ve been through the whole trilogy and then some, I like the setting of the calm before the storm. Shepard + co. know something’s up, but without real proof they can’t really do anything. It’s a little unnerving, really.

Game with the best group/companion(s): Mass Effect 2. With the largest crew in the trilogy, it’s impossible not to get attached to them. Except for Jacob. I will never be attached to Jacob.

A game with your favorite ending: I might be too hard on games, but I legitimately can not think of an ending where I went ‘wow! I worked really hard for this and my characters prospered because of it!’. Except for ME2, where I was flying by the seat of my pants at first, entirely unaware of how the ending system worked and honestly, probably only managed the best ending because of mutuals (you know who you are ;). Made it all the more satisfying seeing all of my squadmates at the end.

A game with the WORST ending: MEA. I didn’t like the entire game to begin with, and the Meridian stuff honestly flew over my head like a damn jet. I always liked the Tempest’s theme, and that gave me chills over the ending, but it was rather anticlimatic. Unlike the two games before it, there’s really no risk factor in the ending. And Ryder 1 was a poor excuse for a culmination of your work. I did not spend a majority of those 65 hours on that game to not get another cutscene or epilogue with my 100% viability.

Best character customization?: I’ve been told DAI has one of the best. However, I personally like MEA’s, the realism is nice but a little jarring when it’s animated in-game.

Hero and Companions

Your favorite playable character: The Inquisitor and Trooper from SWTOR are my favorite classes to play. Shepard is pretty great too.

The funniest playable character: Currently, the Smuggler from SWTOR.

Your favorite companion(s): Elara Dorne, Andronikos Revel, Doc, Theron Shan, Lana Beniko + Gault (SWTOR), Alistair and Morrigan (DAO; I know, it’s early but they’re fun!), Garrus Vakarian, Kaidan Alenko, Tali’zorah nar Rayya vas Normandy + EDI (ME OT), Vetra, Drack, Jaal + Kallo (MEA)

Companions you could live without: Skadge, Jacob + PeeBee. I would’ve said James, but he grew on me during ME3′s campaign. Liam and Gil are sort of climbing up there, but I can see where MEA tried to grow their characters so I’m giving them a pass for now.

Relationships

Favorite game friendship(s): Shepard + Garrus. Sorry these two snip at each other so much of you let them, and that line ‘There is no Shepard without Vakarian’ kills me every single time. None of my Shepards have actually romanced him but it’s cool to see a female/male friendship that isn’t dependent on a relationship to back it. On that note, Joker + Shepard as well. He doesn’t have that big of place in the game, but he obviously really cares about them. He’s omnipresent in the series too, and one of the few characters that can’t die in the game. Hell, Anderson even asked him to watch over their stress levels, and he was obviously serious about it too. And Tali + Shepard. While that can also be a romance (apparently was even a bi one before it was cut entirely, thank you modders for restoring it), the friendship you can have with her is undeniably sweet. She feels like a completely capable younger sister that you watch grow up through the games, from a young Quarian on her pilgrimage to an Admiral who was ready to do what was right for her people.

Favorite game relationship(s): ...Shepard/Kaidan (ME3, specifically. I mean you guys you’ve seen my blog), Shepard/Garrus, Ryder/Jaal, Ryder/Reyes, F!SW/Theron, F!Consular/Felix, F!Trooper/Aric

Favorite companion banter: ...you guys play games with banter between companions? I kid, but I like the banter between Ashley and Kaidan in ME1. And Morrigan and Alistair’s in DAO.

A relationship you loved but went bad: Malavai Quinn and a female Sith Warrior. I loved the way it was going during the vanilla story, but then the betrayal hit and he disappeared for six years and two expansions. A double whammy if you ask me. This kind of goes for all the vanilla romances, especially Vector for me.

A relationship you weren’t sure of but loved: Jaal and Ryder, and then Thane and Shepard. I did Jaal’s with Fia, and have yet to do Thane’s with Shepard. Jaal was unbelievably sweet if you did romance him, and he has a living family you visit in game. Thane’s is sweet, but also heart wrenchingly sad because you knew he was going to die in the next game but you’re still entirely willing to go after him.

A character you wish you COULD romance: Joker. Sorry, I am not sorry. I mean apparently there’s even a line where he alludes to if there was an alternate universe, he’d quote on quote “Rock your world”. Bioware, lock away the good romances why don’t you. I can just imagine how quickly the conversations in the cockpit would turn on their heads...and Zenith. Zenith I wanted as an option. I feel like the Consular would’ve worked rather well with him.

A minor character you wish could be a companion: Nihlus. I know next to nothing about him, but the fact he was killed off so fast is annoying to say the least. Skavak from SWTOR as well, I know he was an antagonist for a whole chapter, but I mean, we chased Jaesa down for a whole Act, so Skavak should’ve been fair game too.

Fun

Shoutout to a random NPC: Green took mine, but yes, that officer from the Citadel in ME2, “Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space!”

A game you love watching playthroughs for and want to play: Left 4 Dead. I know, it’s an old game but I love zombies. I would probably have nightmares for a while but the universe fascinates me at least.

Love watching playthroughs but won’t ever play: Walking Dead (Telltale; not even for the zombies but because the story telling is not as great as it could’ve been), Dead by Daylight (yet again, the universe is cool, I just don’t like other people)

Online gaming or solo?: Solo. Up until recently I’d only ever played with PUGs during FPs and that was rather frustrating. It got so bad that I ended up just running them to level and do the story quests at higher levels, especially for classes like the Inquisitor that I’d run plenty of times before. Still, some new Discord mutuals fixed that for me, it’s actually fun to do FPs now.

Why do you play video games?: For someone who grew up rather sheltered (and is still sheltered, shhhh), video games were my escape from kids who liked the sun and animals a little too much. So I played video games. It distracted me from my other problems in real life and gave me something else to focus on, like saving the galaxy a few times over.

tagging: @sheyshen , @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond , @roguescarlett

#questionnaire :p #friend memes #long post

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crowdvscritic · 4 years

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round up // OCTOBER 20

Hubie Happy Halloween, friends! I’m not sure what October’s been like for you, but here’s a quick summary of my month:

Re-acquainting myself with my collection of (mostly gray and navy blue) sweaters

Ordering an embarrassing—like, I lost count kind of embarassing—number of lattés

Alternating between enjoying the ombré of the fall trees and cozying up with the first logs in the fireplace

Revisiting all-time favorite stories like The Scarlet Pimpernel by the Baroness Orczy, the extended Lord of the Rings movie trilogy, all three seasons of Stranger Things, the 1995 Pride and Prejudice miniseries, and several Harry Potter movies

In short, this month has been all about finding joy in the little things, which is the essence of our search for coziness in autumn. Since these monthly Round Ups only focus on pop culture that’s new to me, that means this month’s list is shorter than usual, but many of the movies and shows feel like warm blankets I’ll return to again. Though, as you’ll see, a few are not…

October Crowd-Pleasers

Enola Holmes (2020)

A movie so charming, I’m on the verge of rewatching even though it’s only been a few weeks. (It’s a rare occurrence for me to return to something so quickly.) It lets a stacked cast of performers known for dramatic roles flex their comedic muscles, including Henry Cavill, Sam Claflin, and—most spectacularly—Millie Bobby Brown. You can read my full review of the new Netflix movie at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Murder, She Wrote (1984-96)

This entry comes with a bit of an asterisk* because Kyla and I watched this murder mystery procedural in 2018 for our podcast, SO IT’S A SHOW? At the time, I was open to watching more episodes, but it was never so easy as with the launch of the Peacock streaming service. All 12 seasons are available in the free tier, and I never thought a show about murder—and in the procedural format, which I don’t typically love—could be so enjoyable. Angela Lansbury’s mystery writer/amateur detective Jessica Fletcher has become a non-ironic role model for me—I aspire to be as gracious, intelligent, humble, uncynical, and assertive. Also, who says I’m not aspiring to spending my 60s writing, traveling, and solving crimes while wearing a fabulous collection of cardigans?

youtube

The Return of SNL

When Saturday Night Live returns in the fall, I always squeak out during the premiere’s opening credits, “My friends are back!” It’s a silly thing to say about an ever-rotating group of people I’ll never meet, but when you’ve been watching Kenan Thompson do his thing for close to two decades, you can only be delighted to see him after months of absence. While the “At Home” episodes this spring were a treat I didn’t think possible, it’s even better to have my friends back at it in their usual environment with the high production value of Studio 8H. These were the skits that made me laugh the most month:

“VP Fly Debate Cold Open,” mostly for the Jeff Goldblum tribute (4602 with Bill Burr)

“New Normal” (4602)

“Dr. Wenowdis on Weekend Update” (4602)

“Enough Is Enough,” a bit which explains my feelings about almost all celebrity political takes (4602)

“Canadian News Show” (4603 with Issa Rae)

“Election Ad” (4604 with Adele)

“The Bachelor” (4604)

For more on how this season has come together back in the studio, you can read the Vulture interview with Lorne Michaels about it.

Coach Carter (2005)

A based-on-a-true-story movie about an unconventional basketball coach (Samuel L. Jackson) who wants his players (including a baby Channing Tatum) to succeed on more than just the court. It’s a straight-down-the-middle story that shares DNA with many of the inspiring sports movies that came out in the wake of Remember the Titans, but it’ll scratch that itch if that’s what you’re looking for. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

Double Feature — Early ’90s Halloween Classics: Edward Scissorhands (1990) + The Addams Family (1991)

Both of these movies start at Christmastime, but both are spooOOooky movies in their bones. Not all Halloween movies are Tim Burton movies, but all Tim Burton movies are Halloween movies, including Edward Scissorhands (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10). Tim Burton is hit-or-miss for me, but I was pleasantly surprised at how moving this idiosyncratic fairy tale was. Johnny Depp is at his most tortured as a Frankstein’s monster whose inventor (Vincent Price) gave him scissors for hands, Dianne Wiest finds the heart and comedy in your local Avon representative, and Winona Ryder is a queen. The Addams Family (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) might be even more idiosyncratic. I’ve never watched the TV series, so it took me a minute to warm up to its twisted sense of humor (“Are they made from real Girl Scouts?”), but once I did, I started laughing as often as my nostalgic parents.

The Magic iPod

A nostalgia kick you didn’t know you wanted. I have no idea why or how this site exists, only that it brings me joy. Try mashing up “Ms. New Booty” with “A Thousand Miles,” “Get Low” with “Float On,” “Tipsy” with Bring Me to Life,” “99 Problems” with “All Star,” “Country Grammar” with “Complicated,” or any other combo that brings your favorite songs from your first iPod together.

Hubie Halloween (2020)

You know those dumb movies that just hit you in the right spot? Adam Sandler has a knack for those kind of movies, and Hubie Halloween fills the void of Halloween fun you’re probably missing this year. Sandler plays Hubie, a not-very-bright do-gooder with a very big heart whose self-proclaimed purpose is to keep everyone safe in his hometown of Salem. But there are spooOOooky threats on Halloween night this year, and only Hubie and his thermos (which rivals a Swiss army knife in all its functions) will be able to save it. Don’t miss it you’re like me and love a good celebrity cameo and a Hollywood-designed Halloween costumes. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6/10

Double Feature — Are We Sure These ‘80s Movies Are for Kids? Gremlins (1984) + Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

After seeing Gremlins (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10), I know why parents were clamoring for the PG-13 rating—this movie may be short on the scares for adults, but I have no idea what I’d do for a tyke not expecting the cuddly Gizmo to spawn homicidal ghouls. In what may be the most ‘80s movie I’ve watched yet, we get a legit bonkers story, both in premise and execution—and it might also be a brilliant and scathing satire of consumerism? Perhaps another spoof of consumerism: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), which creates an impressively specific world that’s part animation, part live action. It’s a parody of classic film noir with no shortage of innuendo or just plain weirdness—its artistic achievement makes it worth watching, but since when have kids cared much about any of those things?

Double Feature — So-Bad-They’re-Good Action Flicks: Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) + Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

If Gremlins is one of the most ‘80s movies, then Gone in Sixty Seconds (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5.5/10) is one of the most Nicolas Cage movies. He’s a good guy caught on the wrong side of the law in a ridiculous plot engine where he has to steal 50 cars in less than a week. His pent-up frustration lives just below the surface, and his performance is so committed, you’re not sure if he’s knows the dialogue and plot twists are zany—in fact, you’re not even sure he’s acting at all. Also committed to whatever the heck it’s doing is a movie that’s exactly what it sounds like, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6/10). An over-qualified cast (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Anthony Mackie, Rufus Sewell, and more) just goes for it in a story with the premise that Abe Lincoln fought oppression caused by slavery and by immortal blood-suckers. I think my favorite part is when a vampire throws a pony at our 16th president—I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

October Critic Picks

Triple Feature — ‘60s Horror Classics: Village of the Damned (1960), The Haunting (1963), Night of the Living Dead (1968)

In Village of the Damned (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10), everyone in a British village passes out at the same time for hours, and weird events continue for years, centering around a mysterious group of children. In The Haunting (above, Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10), a group is studying events at a haunted house, but it may be the house that’s in control. And in Night of the Living Dead (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10), the zombie genre dawns with a group huddled away from the undead in a farmhouse. All of these are thoughtful, well-made films, but I recommend them with asterisks* because I’ll never watch any of these groups again. The Haunting made me scared of bumps in the night as I was falling asleep, and Night of the Living Dead gave me zombie-filled nightmares. If you’re looking for a dose of heebie jeebies, these are the movies you’ll be needing!

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

I’m not sure I understood any of it, but I think I liked it? If you don’t mind a film that feels more like poetry than a plot, this visual stunner is worth the long runtime and straight-up weird sequence of scenes. Fortunately, I was prepped for my viewing with the help of Turner Classic Movies host Ben Mankiewicz and writer/director Brad Bird, who selected as part of this season’s Essentials lineup. While Bird loves the film, Mankiewicz admitted it’s not one of his favorites because it’s such an obtuse head-scratcher. Both acknowledged it’s an important one to cinema, so unless The Tree of Life is still making your brain hurt almost a decade later, it’s worth trying to parse through a story that covers the dawn of man, man’s fight against machine, and, um, a lot of other things I couldn’t explain if I tried. Crowd: 5/10 // Critic: 10/10

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020)

If you’re a fan of Aaron Sorkin’s idealist monologues and ideological pitter-patter, then pause your latest binge of The West Wing to watch his latest writing/directing outing, now streaming on Netflix. Based on the true story of protesters who clashed with the police outside the Democratic National Convention in Chicago in 1968—which, yes, doesn’t seem to difficult to imagine these days—it captures the spirit of a wild trial about political activism, healthy debate, fairness in government, and even the importance of grammar. If you watch it and think there’s no way this really happened, be sure to read up on the real trial to see how the film toned down the judicial circus. While this Oscars season will be unusual, we can predict this film will be in the awards conversation. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10

Also in October…

My fellow ZekeFilm writers and I collected our favorite Halloween movies and TV specials for your enjoyment. Not-a-spoiler-alert: My pick is not very scary. In fact, it’s a zom-rom-com I’ve only come to love more since reviewing it upon its release.

Though Kyla and I always talk about Gilmore Girls on our podcast, we don’t just talk about the murder mystery TV shows it references like Murder, She Wrote. This month we talked about an ‘80s prime time soap full of shoulder pads and catfights as well as a ‘70s movie starring Rocky and the Fonz. Then we decided there were so many confusing pop culture references in an episode we couldn’t pick just one, so we researched a mish mash of topics like Punk Planet magazine, workout guru Jack LaLanne, singer Blossom Dearie, Manson cult member Leslie Van Houten, and a whole lotta board games.

540 movies and counting! You can follow real-time updates in what I’m watching in quarantine on Letterboxd.

#Round Up #Enola Holmes #Murder She Wrote #SNL #Saturday Night Live #Coach Carter #Edward Scissorhands #The Haunting #Village of the Damned #Night of the Living Dead #Hubie Halloween #2001: A Space Odyssey #The Trial of the Chicago 7 #The Addams Family #Gremlins #Who Framed Roger Rabbit #Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter #Gone in Sixty Seconds

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peanutdracolich · 7 years

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Peanut Dracolich Watches Horror: The Final Reckoning

So over the course of this month I’ve watched a lot of horror. 15 days ago I ranked those I’d watched then, and now I’ve watched a fair bit more. Now some aren’t making it onto the list, and some have had their ordering changed, but I will discuss that later.

Again I am judging these as Horror Movies. If the movie’s value is not as horror primarily it suffers. I really enjoyed Alien Covenant and either it or Dracula Has Risen was my most enjoyed movie of the month, but Alien Covenant is good because it is sci-fi and horror in a 55/45 mix I’d say, and Dracula Has Risen is more about Christopher Lee vampire than horror, I mean yeah vampires are a type of horror but it’s not the same. When I want a horror movie I want... well actually it’s a large genre and I want different things from it at different times. Sometimes I want a Horror Film, a film to cause a visceral fear reaction. Sometimes I want a slasher, which is a type of horror film but with a specific narrative (I rarely want slashers). Sometimes I want a Horror Story and while horror films in theory have horror stories I mean something different with it, something that’s actually more about creep and tone, more about the gothic fantasy elements, or the eldritch terror, and less about the visceral reaction. Sometimes I want a monster movie, or a vampire flick. So I tried to balance it based upon the things I want in a horror movie. And so... the list is below the cut, but before it is those that weren’t included.

Non-included Entries: Chronos (I intend to talk about it), Young Frankenstein, and Captain Kronos all are not included on the list because of them only Chronos really fits Horror Movie and even then only sort of kind of. They were all good movies, but to judge them for horror movie would be misleading. Chronos was more dark supernatural tragedy with elements of horror (in fact the supernatural elements were horror and not fantasy) but still the enjoyment is as a tragedy more than anything I’d think of with Horror. Young Frankenstein is a fairly famous horror parody, a better film than many on the list, but impossible to properly judge as horror. Captain Kronos is the same way, one of the most fun films I watched this month, but although it has vampires it was a heroic adventure film.

Also absent from the list are Alien, The Horror of Dracula, and Evil Dead because they’re all rewatches and Alien/ED not particularly close ones (I’m watching Evil Dead while typing). It would go Evil Dead, Alien, and then the list if I included those anyway as they’re my 1 and 2 of Horror (Dracula would get tied with Has Risen beating it out slightly).

1) Ju-On the Grudge (02)

2) The Descent (05)

3) The Vampyr (32)

4) Dracula Has Risen from His Grave (68)

5) Mouth of Madness (93)

6) Prince of Darkness (87)

7) The Whisperer in the Darkness (12)

8) Call of Cthulhu (05)

9) Dr Terror’s House of Horrors (65)

10) Alien Covenant (17)

11) The Omen (76)

12) The Vampire Lovers (70)

13) IT (90)

14) The Mummy - Hammer Horror (59)

15) The Mummy - Universal (32)

16) The Oblong Box

17) The Exorcist (73)

18) Poltergeist (82)

19) The Kiss of the Vampire

20) Friday the 13th Part 2 (81)

21) Frankenstein (31)

22) The 7 Golden Vampires (74)

23) The Return of the Living Dead (85)

24) Child’s Play (88)

25) Saw (04)

26) Alien 3 (92)

27) Uzumaki (00)

So like last time some thoughts:

Ju-On: A legitimately good film, even though I have no desire or intent to rewatch it. It is a good horror film, though. While something does bother me about it which kept me from wanting to see more of the universe, it still manages to do what a horror film is supposed to do best of the ones I watched this month.

The Descent: This film moved up! Because I refigured how much emphasis ‘egads this film is actual art’ should be given. Also watching Evil Dead scenes with them driving and then their cabin remind me even more of Evil Dead scenes (the near crash, the stuff coming in through the window, the approach to the cabin). Evil Dead did a better building creep/horror with them, but The Descent was repurposing them and did that well, while taking advantage of the subconscious connections. Well done film.

The Vampyre: While I may have liked this film better than Ju-On or The Descent that’s for the artistry and probably in part because I was dehydrated. Still it’s a good film and it does have its spell. It doesn’t have the terror that really spells horror film for me, but it has the spell of nightmare like a true horror story.

Dracula Has Risen from His Grave: And here we have the best of the vampire films of the year (including Chronos) and possibly the best film of the year for pure enjoyment (though Captain Kronos and Alien Covenant might rival or beat it). But wait didn’t The Vampyre get higher. Yes, because it is better horror, but I don’t want vampire stories primarily for horror and this gave me what I wanted from a vampire story. It’s a good film and quite enjoyable.

Mouth of Madness: This meta-Lovecraftian film was while not my personal favorite of the John Cameron apocalypse films I watched, the better story and probably the better film, the other merely hit my buttons better. The concept alone makes it so much fun, and I do almost want to rewatch it now... except I know it will be better to do so in several years where I still vaguely remember the twists but don’t remember the film.

Prince of Darkness: As you can see I do still include ‘I personally really liked this one’ rather highly. It actually does the early horror set up better than most of the rest, it’s just that the cheese is too high and not stylistic but earnest enough to feel detrimental because the film is good enough that the joy is not in the cheese.

The Whisperer in the Darkness: A fun film, a good film. This film’s cheese is stylistic and adds to it plain out. It does a good job of the Cold War Alien Film take on the story, and in general is just a good film that I enjoyed.

Call of Cthulhu: This film was hard to place. It’s artistic. It feels it. If it didn’t have some ‘this stylistic suck went to far compared to what it was imitating’ it’d probably be higher because it very much has the spell, but in the end it’s not as fun as Whisperer, not got the spell of The Vampyre, and ends up feeling like it belongs here.

Dr Terror’s House of Horrors: Nothing new to say really.

Alien Covenant: I really liked it, but as sci-fi first and horror 2nd. I mean it was fully functional horror despite that, but it was not how I enjoyed it.

The Omen: This is still my B- film of the year. This and above are good films, below it are lukewarm or something else more than horror. It’s also where ‘listening to Evil Dead while not looking at the screen’ gets ‘better horror’ (note Evil Dead’s visuals are creepy and good horror that enriches it).

The Vampire Lovers: This might should switch with IT, in fact they’ve switched already once. It was not like IT ever considered for the B- film role because it’s close enough to erotica to be hard to place, but it definitely was pretty good and better at being a horror story than part 2 of IT and more enjoyable than IT for its length. So it squeezes past.

IT: If I was judging just part 1 this would be the B- film. Judging both parts, Part 2 is definitely lukewarm. Overall it’s a C+. Good enough, but 3 hours and Evil Dead is scarier just by listening to it.

The Mummy (Hammer): Probably better than Part 2 of IT, worse than Part 1 and closer to the latter in quality. It’s a functional monster movie, but nothing to really write home about. Alright if you want a monster movie, but I won’t be rewatching it any time soon.

The Mummy (Universal): And here we get to the Frankenstein issue where I’m scared I’m inflating it for the sake of ‘historical place’. Still Boris Karloff was interesting, the story left less of a hollow feeling in my mouth and it was almost good and all the films below here are at best almost good. I think it deserves this place.

The Oblong Box: Is another hard placement. While Vincent Price and second tier relatively non-villain Christopher Lee were fun the film was not great. It might swing up to beat The Mummy (both versions) but I was too tired of the type of horror at the time to really say. On the same note it might swing down to below Poltergeist. It is however in the Lukewarm area.

The Exorcist: Is not my type of movie. I mean I can see its influence; girls crabwalking down stairs, demons talking about your mother being lewd in Hell. It has some very memorable bits... It’s just not a scary movie, not that enjoyable movie, and with the exception of a few very memorable bits sort of forgettable. It was too long, and too slow in that I sort of started getting bored of it faster than I did the Universal Studio’s Mummy which I could understand my nephew leaving after 20-30 minutes because it was sort of boring. Where The Mummy picked up afterwards, The Exorcist waits another hour to pick up. That said the drama to someone who is watching for a drama has its value and art and I have to respect it. I’m probably rating it higher than I would otherwise due to sacred cow status, but at the same time it has some very good elements it just mixes them with stuff that leaves it lukewarm. The music does it too. Never got to me and... Well Evil Dead just went quiet and it got me spooked. The Exorcist goes quiet and I don’t notice because quiet felt like the default. The sound was bad is what I’m saying. Still it does have those classic moments that are better horror if you just watch them alone than some of the films lower down.

Poltergeist: This film was lukewarm. I probably enjoyed it better than the Exorcist, but I’m guessing the last 40 minutes of the Exorcist is a better movie than Poltergeist.

The Kiss of the Vampire: It’s really hard to place this. I was sick of Hammer Horror by the time (though watched the Mummy the next day). It was definitely worse than the Oblong Box, though, and the Mummy, and I enjoyed Poltergeist more and Poltergeist was more horror. So yeah I’m going here. It’s above the ‘must find alternative enjoyment’ line but it’s probably the worst of those that are.

Friday the 13th Part 2: This marks the line of ‘I don��t actually enjoy this as horror if I enjoy it at all. The film was so bad it was good. I will probably watch 3 or 4 at some point (whichever the internet tells me is good).

Frankenstein: More and more I thought where I put it before was really just Sacred Cow. It fails to hit any of my horror buttons, it fails to be a good Frankenstein story. It’s worth watching for its historical place and because it has one or two good scenes, plus is short increasing the relative impact of those. But still I have to work to find some other means of enjoyment from the film.

7 Golden Vampires: This film is not good. It is enjoyable. But it is not good. Still I enjoy Peter Cushing and the bad horror bad kung fu was nice even if there are better films later that mix bad horror with good kung fu and comedy (Mr. Vampire) or good ghost story with good kung fu (Chinese Ghost Story) which are legit pretty good films (watch those over this one, though).

The Return of the Living Dead: First and foremost I didn’t watch it too closely. It’s horror comedy, but it is horror comedy and not just comedy about horror. The comedy, though, was less funny than Friday part 2 and the horror wasn’t that scary. I’d rather watch Peter Cushing fight kung fu vampires (which have trouble with limping old men). Candidate for so bad it’s good I guess.

Child’s Play: Nothing has changed here. If The Omen is my B- this is my D-. It passes... barely and it’s not getting real credit. Still I can see so bad it’s good vibes... still would watch Fright Night instead.

Saw: Nothing has changed. Still contemplate whether this should be below Alien 3. This is still in the ‘I sort of regret watching this.’

Alien 3: This film is worth watching if you like the franchise and want to see it all. This film does not stand on its own, though. Too long. Too confused. Not good enough. Still in fairness it might be up to Ft13-2 level, but I can’t judge it fairly so I’m going with here because trying to judge it from ‘not in love with the Alien franchise’ (I sort of love the franchise) I don’t think I could see a reason to watch it.

Uzumaki: I want the time I spent watching this film back.

Random Observations:

Best and worse films are Japanese horror and the only Japanese horror on the list (I intended to watch more J-horror but).

4 Out of 6 Cosmic Horror films were in a row (5-8).

Only 4 vampire movies got on the list despite watching 7.

#peanutdracolich watches horror #Ranking of things

7 notes · View notes

packernet · 4 years

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New Post has been published on https://www.packernet.com/blog/2020/01/16/packernet-podcast-keep-the-hate-coming-were-loving-it/

Packernet Podcast: Keep the Hate Coming - We're Loving It

Transcript:

8s – 1m 8s

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome, once again to the back of that podcast. I am your host and residence analyst that’s always Ryan slip check it out online packernet.com. Find me on Twitter Pack underscore that is so today. I’ve got quite a bit of things that I want to touch on some news and notes some rumors. Probably going to get a little bit Ranchi. There’s a couple different things to different people at you know, I was just talking yesterday about how you know, if I’m being honest I liked the days when the media was gushing over the Packers a lot more than I like today. I really did like that. It kind of it was it was somewhat undeserved kind of like what the Chiefs get with Mahomes and now Lamar, you know that the Golden Boy treatment that Aaron Rodgers somehow had for felt like basically his entire career up until what 2015 maybe even late cuz I think I think even as you started to decline the video

1m 8s – 1m 45s

Because you know, that’s just how they work. Nobody wants to be the first to say it and then as soon as somebody says it is like this just Avalanche. I don’t like them either. It’s just you know who can dislike him the most so, you know, that’s that’s how you get to be edgy you without actually being edgy because you didn’t want to say it for 5-10 years. Anyways, I don’t like this so much. However, I got to admit there’s something kind of nice and extra motivating about these games. You’ve already got the aspect if I really really really really really want to win and see this team in the Super Bowl is sort of like

1m 46s – 2m 46s

It hasn’t even sunk in that it’s a possibility and it’s not because I’m sure I believe thoroughly that we’re going to lose. It’s just it’s just like that that just doesn’t happen Packers don’t go to the Superbowl this certainly don’t win the Superbowl and it’s super rare and probably nod and I forget who it was and I apologize but somebody gave the visual in the Facebook group. Make sure you join the Facebook group that he could Envision Aaron Rodgers and Aries and Aries next to each other hosting the trophy and it was like one of those things that visual just made it very real and it’s like, oh my goodness this could really happen. I mean this could really actually happen but then you take the excitement of winning and the desire to win and add to it how much distain I’m developing for everybody because everybody dislikes the Packers and some of it is fine, right? You got the sports books and everything else. They’re saying the Packers have the lowest chance depending on where you look of winning a Super Bowl get it. You’ve got some stew.

2m 46s – 3m 46s

Mystic people just kind of laying out some facts, but for the most part you have very biased people that have never liked the Packers and love the fact that Aaron Rodgers is not the favorite anymore and take every opportunity. They can to remind everybody which largely is wrongly but because this is what the statistic Community now believes remind everybody that Aaron Rodgers is no longer the goat. He’s no longer even any good. He’s averaged this team is a fraud. They just can’t stop and every opportunity they get to say it they say it so that’s starting to make me angry to the point that I want them to be wrong almost as bad as I just want the Packers to win because the level of distain I have for them. Although I get it because that’s what being a fan of a different team is about. It’s still a little bit annoying. So I want to address some of that and again just some other little bit of this little bit of that. But anyways I said,

3m 46s – 4m 46s

Make sure you jump in the pack and a podcast Facebook group. That’s where the party’s at all day everyday we party and we talked about the Packers. That’s just what we do also apparently get into very serious discussions about needles in San Francisco, you know, some people tend to rant kind of like I tend to reims I can’t hate him for it. It’s it’s my life to also make sure you jump in the back of my podcast Facebook page. Thank you to all of you have sent messages. Obviously. You’ve not been getting hardly any responses. I have to go in and start working on all those responses and develop or develope responses to all the stuff you been saying to build the ultimate supercomputer. I don’t think that’s possible but it’s you know, I got all year figure this thing out. I don’t care. What else do I have to do? I pick one thing that I want to really work on this year on top of all the stuff that I’m doing and that’s one of the things I want to build. So leave me alone. What’s your New Year’s resolution push-ups get on my face. I’m building a supercomputer man Skynet Sun before the T-1000 was

4m 46s – 5m 46s

Schwarzenegger guy before the Schwarzenegger guy was the Packer. Chad Bock. You didn’t catch that and Terminator. Did you wait till Terminator 8, they’ll tell you how it all begins. If you would like to support the fact that podcast I would strongly encourage you to check out patreon.com pack underscore daddy. There is a link in the description somewhere in the link of links. You can support the show for as little as a dollar a month. It means a lot more to me than it does to you is in terms of you know, it’s more positive for me than its negative for you. I understand podcast for free, but I’m hoping that you like the value that I bring enough that you think it would be worth it to you to offer up at least a buck a month. Please consider it. I’ve had a very very good response up over $50. Which is awesome. As long as you don’t consider the fact that there are literally thousands of people that listen every day that it’s slightly less. Awesome. But still it’s good. It’s a good start and don’t forget there will be a giveaway ever.

5m 46s – 6m 29s

Single month, all you have to do is make a small donation. $1 is one entry 5 dollars is 5 entries etcetera etcetera. If you just want to win the thing straight out Super Bowl tickets are to do it. I think that’ll increase your odds substantially. So there you go something about otherwise a five-star iTunes review Stitcher review and make sure you are listening to the Packers iPod cat because the podcast broadcast on another podcast that has not called the Packers at podcast. If you don’t want to switch over that’s fine. I still get all the accounts for it. I just would like iTunes in the rest to realize that people actually do listen to my podcast. So if you wouldn’t mind subscribing to mine as well that be greatly appreciated, why don’t we take a break cuz I got a lot to talk about not a lot of time to talk about it.

6m 30s – 7m 30s

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7m 30s – 7m 53s

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7m 54s – 8m 53s

And once you’re feeling better, you don’t want to just feel better sitting on the couch. You especially don’t want to just feel better out shoveling your driveway making the pain come right on back. How about instead? We spend our February and March following our favorite baseball teams to Arizona for the Cactus League spring training. I can’t imagine a better way to spend February then out in 75 degree weather watching some baseball eating a couple hot dog hanging out with your significant other your body’s your kids and after the game getting some autographs and then buzzing over to one of the great craft breweries some great outdoor scenery and Adventures like hiking biking Jeep tours hot air balloon skydiving jet ski horseback riding and then after you’re completely famished go out and get some great Arizona cuisine cuisine as Gordon Ramsay kind of says, you know the British don’t speak too good scene. They try, you know,

8m 54s – 9m 54s

Make sure you plan your spring training get away at visit arizona.com spring training. Alright so much to do so little time. What are we talkin about? How about the fact that Luke Kuechly just retired yesterday. Can you imagine being a Carolina Panthers fan? You had a good team then it all kind of went sideways. We know what that’s like, it happened last couple years, right? Suddenly things just aren’t good anymore. We were Super Bowl Contender and then we were trash quarterbacks banged up but we’re starting over now. We get this guy rule in and it’s like he’s going to take over and he’s going to transform everything and then you find out the LSU who just won the National Championship the passing game coordinator. The guy that’s worked with Joe burrow land in the rest of that LSU crew to help them to win. The national championship is going to join Rule and help us rule the NFC South took me a second there and it you just feeling good and you know it you’re probably going to get a new quarterback. Maybe you like it. Maybe you don’t but

9m 54s – 10m 54s

It’s just it’s a new era, right? Cuz it this is a good team. We just got some work to do. We got to fix up this defense a little bit. But may we got the best running back in football? We’re going to get an electrifying quarterback in here. Take a guy like Herbert would be great somebody that doesn’t really need to be benched. But as long as he has a good Supporting Cast which which the Panthers kind of do right, they’ve got wide receivers kind of for the first time that got a great running back decent enough offensive line, like you can plug him in and just make some stuff happen and it will just focus on the defense and just hammer away at it. We’re going to be good man. We got Kuechly hang a hammer in this thing ain’t turn it down in the day that you get the news. You got a new offensive coordinator. The guy that has been like the guy on your team. One of the better linebackers of all time decides that at 28 years old with two years left on his contract. He’s going to hang it up. That’s wild by the way. This is not insignificant news to the Green Bay Packers because the Green Bay Packers are playing the Carolina Panthers at home in 2020 the Panthers

10m 54s – 11m 54s

Who had a abysmally horrible defense this past year are now without Luke Kuechly now. Who knows what’s going to happen to you know, after Gronk left, obviously, there was a total speculation that he’s going to come back. Maybe this is just stay a moment, you know as far as lacking Clarity, maybe it’s it’s injury-related and he’s he’s just really worried who knows but things change Stihl 28. He still healthy maybe is not the same Luke Kuechly was last year. He said in his goodbye message. He’s just not that same guy and he doesn’t want to play if you can’t play up to that level anymore, but maybe I mean Jared Veldheer retired now, he’s back helping us win a Superbowl but as it stands the Packers now are planning to go up against the Carolina Panthers at home without Luke Kuechly. I think the sooner we get that team the bed because the new coach and all that stuff that’s going to take some time to kind of develop that team build that locker room build up the new scheme in the new system. And I you you get those teams early enough before they really

11m 54s – 12m 54s

Get into the groove if they ever do but you catch them before they get into a Groove and that’s that’s going to work to our benefit. I also wanted to comment on something in just a little bit old news, but it’s interesting apparently and this is reported via Tony Pauline. I actually was I found this while I was doing some draft homework trying to get caught up on all the latest news and rumors and things for the draft and came across some news that apparently prior to the Vikings beat in the New Orleans Saints and then understand Tony Pauline is legit. He called stefanski to the Browns like in the same article prior to in Minnesota and the Saints game. She called it but decided the Browns number one candidate was stefanski. Anyways, he had said based on an inside source. The Minnesota Vikings are kind of tired of of Zimmer now, I’m shocked by this because the outside perspective by everybody not in Minnesota is that Zimmer’s a phenomenal code? He’s done a great job obviously is Zimmer defense is a very tough defense in the defense is what makes that team great, obviously.

12m 54s – 13m 54s

Cousins did a good job and all this other stuff, but the Zimmer defense is what makes the Minnesota Vikings in Minnesota Vikings, but in Pauline’s words Zimmer has worn out his welcome in Minnesota. Here’s the interesting thing. The report was if they lose to the New Orleans Saints Zimmer’s done and stefanski will get hired as the head coach so bad because I believe the source I do think that the ownership wants to move on from Zimmer. However, they did beat New Orleans. I can’t imagine one game like that is really going to make that big of a difference. Although I mean, of course it’s a big win but to be that good of a team to get in the playoffs and to still say if you lose to a basically the number one team arguably in the NFL then you’re no good. And it’s that’s kind of a ridiculous statement. It sounds to me like something you’d say when you kind of just want him to go but the other kind of unfortunate thing is for the Vikings. Anyway, you also lost your intended replace.

13m 54s – 14m 54s

So now what are you do you you not only beat the Saints but the guy that you were going to replace dimmer with supposedly is gone. So you don’t have a replacement. No, forget that forget. The fact that I think this whole thing is a ridiculous conversation. I don’t know what’s going on inside the organization. Maybe Zimmer has become an insufferable jerk. He feels like he runs things, you know, whatever. I don’t know. I’m just telling you what the standpoint of ownership is and in for the Vikings fans listening. I want to clarify something. I understand that. The owner has said we 100% are bringing back our GM and our head coach. We have no intention of moving up. Please understand the eagle said the same thing about two of their coaches and fired them both the same day within 24 hours. I think it was like the quarterback coach something else. I don’t know but there was a question. Are you bringing it back? You should absolutely they’re coming back within 24 hours. They were both fired. So when you get put on the spot, you know, you don’t waver on a Zimmer coming back of course is come.

14m 54s – 15m 47s

Oh, yes, definitely. You tell the media. Yes, and then you go do your job or you try to throw out some it mean that there’s really just two ways to handle it. You don’t care what the media thinks and you just say yes because it’s better for your your franchise because you don’t want to waiver on it and then keep Zimmer was Zimmer, you know in the back of his mind taking these guys are trying to get rid of me. So you just say, of course, that’s our guy or the other way to handle it is just kind of, you know, not answer the question in which case everybody fully understands. You are answering the question. So you think you’re being cute but you’re answering the question and say yes, we’re trying to get rid of them by wavering on it don’t hurt her. I should have asked you to come Sizzla Floor coming back next year. What do you think the answer you think is going to be? Well, you know we go to the media asks you I think the right thing to do is say yes, of course dumb question and then if you want to fire me fire if the media wants to call you on it just to cares.

15m 47s – 16m 47s

He made you look dumb not the other way around cuz guess what you’re going to keep asking me questions as though I’m an authority and I want to keep telling me the answers that I want to give you whether they’re true or not. Cuz I could not care any less about you and your little articles. I’ve got a team to run a multi-billion-dollar franchise to run in a little Minnesota blog doesn’t mean anything to me and I’m not going to hurt my franchise answering your ridiculously dumb questions. I don’t care about you. So again, this is just to say I fully understand he said they’re they’re intending to keep them at this point. That might be their only option i d d, you know, I don’t know maybe they like some of the other candidates that are out there be enemy McDaniels. The Ravens offensive coordinator is getting a ton of love and could be a very good option. You also have to figure that. You might be looking to get a new quarterback in the near future. So maybe you want to get it off. I think that I think this is all ridiculous. I I think this is a defensive team of talk about identity in the past and the weird thing but certain teams

16m 47s – 17m 47s

This is just have identities that last through the decades the Vikings trying to go off at doesn’t work. They win when there are defensive team same is true for the Chicago Bears. They have tried over and over and over and over with guys like Trestman and everything else trying to get an elite offense and it just never works in. The one time that they’re legitimate team is when despite the fact that they’re still trying to go off ends Vic fangio building Elite defense and there you have it this Minnesota Vikings team lives and dies with their defense the purple people eaters on through the line This is a defensive franchise. They are a smash you in the mouth kind of a team and I just I don’t I don’t know. I don’t know why they would do it, but I wanted to bring it up because it is interesting and it definitely feels like this team has kind of been flogged. It’s kind of like Luke Kuechly Jumping Ship when everything’s kind of influx. Anyway, I’ve been kind of on the fence. Anyways, you’re going to fire my code. You’re getting rid of my quarterback. Probably maybe you’re bringing in all these new people. I just you know,

17m 47s – 18m 47s

The franchise is kind of in the in the in the train in the dirt. Whatever I can think of a word out of here and you know, the Vikings are kind of going through that’s enough that they’re a bad team. But you lose your offense of coordinator your defensive coordinator your assistant GM you might look at him know, you know what since we’re getting poached and we’re losing everything. I’ve been kind of want to make some changes. Anyways, let’s just kind of make some changes until I all I’m saying is if I had to guess the dimmers going to stay if for no other reason than he met that one qualification in that they beat the Saints and the replacement is currently coaching the Browns. However, keep that in the back your mind if the Vikings don’t have a good year next year. He’s 100% gone and it’s also possible that if they could find a good enough candidate they may move on. Anyways, I mean maybe before they go out and find it offensive coordinator. Maybe they go out and find somebody and offensive coordinator to coach the team and you know, there’s a lot of good defensive coordinators floating out there. They don’t get as many looks as had head coaching jobs as offensive coordinators do so. There’s some really quality guys that are just floating. So anyways something to keep an eye on.

18m 47s – 19m 47s

Something else that was brought up kind of a long that same vein Max in the Facebook group said he is a Packer fan from Minnesota and that there is growing speculation that Stefon Diggs is permanently unhappy on an overall average Vikings roster. Now though the point of his question was as a possible we end up getting them in the in the main response at he got was that there’s no way the Vikings are going to allow him to go to the Packers. That’s probably true. However, let’s also keep in mind. He doesn’t have to come to Green Bay in order for him to benefit us if the Vikings really do it again, they’re kind of in this middle grow their kind of in a spot where if they wanted to kind of tear things down they could or they can just try to hang on just replace the vacancies go into the draft get some more quality guys and come back and Hammer it again next year. I mean there there’s still a pretty good team. Although there is that question of the ticking Time Bomb might these guys are getting a year older and a year older and all our guys that are older or under these really long contract. I don’t know maybe we do need to start doing something a little bit more dramatic a little bit more.

19m 47s – 20m 47s

Secure Kendricks the odds of him playing at this level again or basically zero, he’s never play that at that high of a level ever in his career. He’s arguably the top linebacker in all football and I’ve been dogging the guy for 4 since forever saying he’s overrated Kendrick sandbach. You certainly was November 8th of this year and you know Everson Griffen and daneel Hunter very very good. But, you know the age catches up with everybody. These guys are both in or push in 32. Neil’s obviously a lot younger. He’s got a lot of tread left but Everson Griffen. I know you got them locked up long-term, but that doesn’t mean you got a quality player locked up long-term. He’s 32 just cuz you sign them through 35 doesn’t mean you’re freezing his age. So I don’t know. I mean if it’s true that they are considering moving on from their head coach. It’s certainly true that they could be willing to move on from there. They’re wide receiver, especially if he is kind of a head case and you feel as though he’s a negative in the locker room. I don’t know that he is I mean sometimes loud guys like that are positive other teammates really like him and I think her cousin says very much cuz he’s always screaming at cousin but so is

20m 47s – 21m 47s

The receiver feelings constantly getting into space 2 so you have to cut him if that’s if you’re just worried about him his Kirk Cousins feelings and Kirk Cousins is probably gonna be gone pretty soon. Anyway, so what are you worried about that for? Anyways, that’s enough about the Vikings. But I guess here’s to hoping you know, if the offseason has been really crazy since what like 2017 when it just really went nuts and we’ve seen teams do things that you know people that have been watching football for a long time. You just think that would never happen. That’s to correct. Those things have been happening the last few years, but some of the biggest stars just randomly end up on different teams. So it’ll be interesting to watch the Vikings in the kind of gauge and see what their strategy is which for a long time has been. Let’s just retain everybody at some point. You got to assume that they’re going to try to blow it up a little bit. We’ll see what happens little bit of minor Packers news parent leave the Packers had to work out with CFL running back to Shawn Amos. No clue. If there’s any relation to Adrian Amos. However, he is a r was a Calgary stampeder and a teammate of Reggie begelton another guy that we had.

21m 47s – 22m 47s

I believe sign to a reserve Futures deal. So we’ll see what happens when it comes to a PC still doing a lot of work and it clearly they’ve been doing some work in the CFL as well. And you know, I’m not going to not get a job goop the man knows what he’s doing. So we’ll see how the last thing I want to bring up before we take a break and get into some other more. I don’t know what college visit philosophical type thing. There was a point brought up by no other than OJ Simpson that Aaron Rodgers probably still has a chip on his shoulder against the 49ers leaving aside the part where that was a very long time ago because you probably still have some kind of a chip something that OJ seems to be forgetting is that he probably has a chip had a ship on the shoulder on November 24th, when we lost 30728 probably had a chip on his shoulder when we lost of the 49ers 23 to 20 back in 2014 as well as losing twice to the 49ers the year before

22m 47s – 23m 47s

So I’m not so sure that that really holds a lot of water I bring it up just because it’s entirely possible that there’s some pack offense of her then go. Oh, yeah, he was snubbed therefore. He’s angry therefore he wants revenge do this is the third time we face it for San Francisco in the playoffs with Aaron Rodger We Roll for 2. So yeah, maybe but I’m not putting a lot on that. However, he was the one thing I will say to try to get a little bit to that bigger than Aaron Rodgers is the general theme that although the Packers haven’t been perfect. They win when it matters, I would focus little bit more on that to be honest the fact that yes, we did lose to them earlier in the regular season, but when it really matters do we have the guys on this team come up and play a good football game and again to win when it matters that’s been there Mo all year. So be very Packers ask of them to have an ugly series with the 49ers but ultimately win when it matters and to once again prove everybody wrong something they’ve been doing literally all

23m 47s – 24m 47s

Let’s take a break and then I want to get in to see how much of this other stuff we can get at. I want to start with the the first thing first. That is this Eric eager guy who is a vitriolic anti Packers Vikings fan who is trying to put on his analytics hat as he tries to dismantle the Green Bay Packers and the shocking thing is that although other people are doing a fairly good job of it. Just just laying out historical fact and letting it lie there and letting Packer fans. Overreacting look like The Crazy Ones this Eric dude is just out of his mind. So I want to kind of walk through this a little bit to matter simply means that the offense is what is most predictive and actually this game was a perfect example of that. So it’s pretty clear. He’s trying to defend something right? He’s he’s he’s not walking something back but he got called out for something dumb and he’s trying to defend it. First of all, what in the world are you talking about? Trying to defend apparently some comment he made about defense.

24m 47s – 25m 47s

Doesn’t matter which is dumb as the guy that has in a self-proclaimed way written the book on it. That’s just not true offense is more predictive of success. That’s not true. Remember what my little project was quarterback versus defense, which really is how they started off. That’s what I call it ends up being sort of what the predictive odds of winning based on your statistical points where you rank in terms of points and yards on offense and a defendant in a mathematical sense looking at every single Super Bowl winner throughout all of Super Bowl history. I looked at what the percentage odds are based on all these things and end points against which is defensive points allowed is by far the most predictive in terms of actually winning a Super Bowl 30% 30% of all Super Bowl winners have the number one overall defense. That’s just number one.

25m 47s – 26m 46s

I’ve been through all this stuff before he’s just wrong about this defense is more predictive of success know if you’re talking about maybe some other things. I I don’t know what is initial claim was but he’s absolutely wrong having a great offense is going to help you win the Superbowl but having a better defense is much more predictive and then for him to go on and say end this game was a great example of that. Excuse me, the Packers won because of their offense against the Seattle defense. Is that the claim that you’re making that’s absurd It song about the Packers five sacks Russell Wilson had a better day than Aaron Rodgers did statistically it was Aaron who it was Russell Wilson versus the Packers defense. That was the story of this game. This was not an example of that. If you go back over history the last time they played in the playoffs the Seahawks want and it was Seattle’s defense against the Packers offense. This was Seattle’s offense against the Packers defense in both cases defense came out on top two hilarious thing though. Is that his co-host

26m 47s – 27m 47s

Yeah, that’s right. And then goes on to explain how the Packers defense was really good and that the Seattle offense was really good what this game was? Absolutely. I mean we were we were told the entire in a sort of going into the game that Green Bay was more Stout up front in Seattle and they were I mean, they think pressured Wilson more than 50% of his dropbacks. But ultimately Russell Wilson and the Seahawks have gained the Packers. They made a lot of plays Wilson at 106 passer rating when pressured their yards per play We’re actually higher than their historical, you know average for the season. I think they were saying that offense is more important than defense and this game shows in the co-host goes. Yeah, that’s true. Seattle’s offense was incredible. And in fact, they played better on offense then they have all year, but the Packers defense was better. Maybe they just think Seattle one. I don’t know.

27m 47s – 28m 13s

I’m a little confused because the initial statement for mr. Eric was defense doesn’t matter the whole Cohoes comes out and says, yes, he knows offense was great Packers defense was great Packers won and to look at his face as he just sits there and watch it happen to him is hilarious Cindy goes down and tries to do damage control and explain how Green Bay’s defense actually isn’t that good? And that in fact, I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know listen to what this guy is trying to do here.

28m 14s – 28m 48s

Upoint were talking before this which is like Willie Turner Turner drops a stone cold light up in past. That’s not an example of Green Bay’s defense being great, right? It’s an example of offense dictating what happens in this game great offense is going to win out right? That’s just what happened and that offense is also going to make your defense look good, right? So Russell Wilson in this game his fatal flaw was that he held onto the ball a long time and he did not feel the pressure and Aaron Rodgers. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop stop.

28m 49s – 29m 49s

Wow, this is this is how I knew he was a Vikings fan. This is how I absolutely knew because this makes no sense Point number one offense dictates to defense. So the point you’re making is basically the the way that I’m going to be right about this is that I’m going to say offense is more important the defense and if you point out to me a good defense I’m going to say that it wasn’t actually good defense was just bad offense, which you can do in every case, except your one example is ridiculous. You gave one example of a guy dropping a pass how many other dropped passes were there? And and what are the five sacks come into play and how about the dropped interception? Can we just hand him? Can we hand Kevin King the ball since we’re just going to make stuff up. Let me ask you another question explain to me how the Tennessee Titans beat the number one ranked offense in football. How did that happen? It don’t even give me this garbage about Lamar didn’t play. Well, he threw some of the most pinpoint perfect passes I’ve ever seen in my life. He was running for his life. That is a very good offense that try to dictate a with but loss.

29m 49s – 30m 35s

To a better defense because the old adage that defense wins championships has kind of been true for a while. If you don’t have a good defense, you don’t have yourself a Super Bowl the last time a team won. The didn’t have a top-10 defense was the 2013 Ravens and I tell you right now with 100% certainty that was a top-10 defense by the time they hit the playoffs and Ray Lewis said guys. I just need one more the last time a team won Super Bowl without a top-10 defense or offense. 2016 Bronco that offense was not good at all. The quarterback was ranked 39th about the number 4 ranked scoring defense in the number one defense in terms of yarded and know their quarterback didn’t get better in the postseason. He was the same guy that couldn’t hardly do any of it. At least physically this it this is such.

30m 36s – 31m 36s

Ridiculous nonsense trying to say that despite the fact that it was actually the Packers defense that one and then the Seahawks offense that lost another what’s a good offense force a good defense and the defense with the way you twist. This is by actually saying the the Seahawks offense wasn’t good. The guy just laid out the statistics. It was a very good offensive performance and Russell Wilson played out of his mind and a know he held on the ball too long. I wonder why genius you think maybe it’s cuz nobody was open because you know defense, what are you talkin about? Why are you doing this the reputation of Pro Football Focus is going in the tank. Every time you open your mouth PFF is all about Advanced analytics. It’s about statistics is supposed to be about facts right that the even her grading scale is based on a very strict criteria of factual information and you got this guy flapping his gums sing the dumbest crap I’ve ever heard of my life offense dictates to defense a good defense.

31m 36s – 32m 36s

Is nothing more than a bad offense. What are you talkin about? This these words have never been spoken in the history of the universe ever accept by this Vikings fan who forgets that he’s on on an actual broadcast and his hatred of the Packers has so consumed him that he can’t even form a coherent thought he is. So Lowe’s to give the Packers any credit that he’s essentially saying that the Seahawks just their offense just fell apart. The five sacks just kind of happened Russell Wilson held onto the ball because he just felt like it not because nobody was open but because he felt like it despite the fact we saw the replays in the coverage and nobody was open and there was nowhere to go with the ball for not going to give Packers any credit this this this is exactly the problem and I don’t I don’t think we’re going to have time to get to my other thing. Maybe we’ll talk about it tomorrow. I don’t have a problem with the analytics Community. But but this is no different than than the end in the political realm there statistics and there is evidence for just about anything that you want to prove and when you get people with enough

32m 36s – 33m 36s

They’ll try to use all this stuff to basically paint the picture that just isn’t so and this is not even a coherent looking picture. This isn’t even using statistics or anyting. This is just a guy that’s lost his mind either. He’s lost his mind. He’s never had one. I don’t know. I don’t know who this guy is. I’ve never heard him speak before but this is dumb and it’s not just cuz he’s talking about the pack of this is the end of this is a stance that he’s taking that offense is more important the defense an example of a defense beating out the offense. It’s because the offense didn’t do what it’s supposed to do that’s called circular logic my friend. That’s not how this works. That’s not how anything works. If you’re listening to this and you want I can let you borrow my thirteen-year-old daughters introduction to logic book. It’ll maybe help you work through this a little bit. She’s done with that when she’s moved on to intermediate logic so you can borrow the the intro to logic book if you if you want it seems like you you might need it but the but the but that’s what that’s what gets me so frustrated about this because there are people that are just being honest.

33m 36s – 34m 36s

I don’t have any problem with Vegas giving better odds the 49ers again. I trust Vegas because Vegas is just all they care about is money. I trust a greedy capitalist because they just care about money there a biased they’re not willing to to to lose money to get their way of Vikings fan working at a casino setting a betting line is not going to move the line to sort of hurt the Packers fans feeling because they just care about money and so I can trust them doesn’t mean they’re right but they’re going to take all the available information which is the other thing I wanted to talk about but we don’t have time is in a how much how much of the stuff that we can see accounts for the whole picture. That’s sort of a another question that will try to talk about tomorrow because some of the analytics people seem to think that all the information we have is all the information we need and my ability to take the information and paint the correct picture is is 100% accurate. So I am all-knowing and that’s that’s when you get to be obnoxious. I love analytics. I love none.

34m 36s – 35m 36s

The love playing with stuff because it provides a little bit of context. It paints a picture but the actual Beauty and football I’ll give you the end of the story tomorrow. I’ll just ruin it is the fact that we don’t know anyting the fact that there isn’t a supercomputer that’s going to tell us who wins the Super Bowl because there will never be a super computer that can tell us that because there is an unknown quantity to the human element of football that will always remain unknown that at that can’t ever be no that is the part about football that makes football special statistics will never be able to touch that part of football ever until some of these people are just wildly speaking out of turn and I’m to the point now that anytime I see it. I’m just going to try to come swing it if you want to say you think the 49ers and I went I don’t care that’s fine. You should think that if I wasn’t a pack of Five Nights at 49ers going to win and I don’t need the other game. I don’t know. How do I run things Chiefs? I’m kind of leaning Titans a little bit same way. I was leaning Titans against the Raven cuz you have these wildly good offense is going up against a team that has a rat that is just a solidly, you know steady team.

35m 36s – 36m 36s

You don’t like I go for the study Team every time it was steady Patriots looking team versus team that let a team score 24 points in a quarter and then came back and scored like 30 or three touchdowns in 3 minutes. That is the epitome of volatility. Anyways, that’s neither here nor there point is I have no problem with Packer fans saying I think we’re going to lose that I’ve gotten so many messages saying I’m not feeling good about this. I don’t think we’re going to win that doesn’t bother me letters are a good team. Even if they weren’t there’s no guarantees in football, which is another thing that the analytics Community doesn’t want to look at. They look at the fact that the Packers almost lost the Lions save their for their garbage. Why because your supercomputer said if they were good, they would have blown him out of the water. Your supercomputer is stupid and I hate the fact that I am at war with the analytics Community because I feel like these are my people. I’m the one that’s been taking the the arrows for PFF for 2 year haven’t talked about how we can go back up in this and this guy is not the embodiment of what PFF is. I don’t know who he is. I don’t know why he’s there. I don’t know who liked who gave him a microphone.

36m 36s – 37m 36s

Speaking anything factual or even using what is going on with Twitter do this is ridiculous the stuff that’s trending is just get out of here. I got to get off here stuff popping up like why is what anyways, so there’s a lot more I want to talk about but, you know time constraints and whatnot. I know. It’s only 36 minutes in but I got to go to work speaking of a couple things everyone. Don’t forget patreon if everybody listening decides to give me a dollar a month. I can start working on my sales pitch to my wife to quit my job. It won’t work, but I’ll start I’ll try secondly on a slightly more serious note, although I would seriously appreciate that regardless of what happens with the Green Bay Packers in a few weeks. The season is over. Let me encourage you because there’s a lot more listeners now than there have been over the past year because of how much popularity with the Packers and their the playoffs and all that. Let me encourage you to please stick around after the season is over if you need a couple days to recoup after a loss if there is a loss, that’s fine. But but please come back.

37m 36s – 38m 36s

Because I’ll tell you what the offseason is when things get fun with the draft coming up with free agency coming up. This this is one of my favorite times of the year. In fact that the Packers won in the playoffs. This would already be my favorite time of the year. It’s the time when we get to dream as Packer fans about what can be what might be to look at the prospects to look at the free agents. And then once we get them to talk about what they might be able to do for the offseason is the time to dream about what could be it’s also that the best time to go back and really digging deep into what the Packers were. Not just what they can be but what they really were in to theorize and that’s what I love the most the regular season is not my favorite time to podcast it’s easy because everything is laid out for you, but it almost kind of gets monotonous is the same thing at the same schedule as it’s just but you got to hit on these points so I can’t get away from it. Even on a daily podcast you get your routines in your ritual. I like the offseason the offseason is when the fun happen, so, please let me encourage you to at least stick around for

38m 36s – 39m 12s

Weaker for 2 weeks just to see if if I’m lying to you and if you don’t love it, and if you’re not getting some inside, so you never thought you would and if you’re not enjoying the offseason by all means going to the football hibernation, and we’ll we’ll see you again in August, but I promise you this offseason going to be a lot of fun. I’m still planning on doing daily. I did it daily last year didn’t think I could but I made it and I fully intend to do it again. So that’s my pan. I’d love to see the numbers increase in the offseason instead of decrease. Anyways, you folks have ourselves a fantastic day. It’s us against the world, and that’s exactly how it needs to be. I will talk to you tomorrow. Have a good one. Bye. Bye.

0 notes

wamiandayne · 4 years

Note

fuvk- 1? 2? 3? 4? 5? 6? 7? 8? 9? 10? 11? 12? 13? 14? 15? 16? 17? 18? 19? 20? 21? 22? 23? 24? 25? 26? 27? 28? 29? 30? 31? 32? 33? yes i did just send all of them :) let out All the emotions. xoxo -bossip birl

thank you bossip birl

1 -

jesus christ superstar. that stupid fucking show means so much to me. fond, fond, memories of watching it endlessly with my dad (who doesnt believe in god)

2 -

i domt really like six so i domt gave a favorite

3 -

anti cats. anti andrew llyod weber. he has 1 good musical . fuxk cats

4 -

you WOUND ME. obc means the world to me and i would give anything to see dwsa. i think.... OBC wins on this. even if i watch the dwsa bootleg more.

5 -

easily the regrette's cover of helpless. maybe first burn but... no.

6 -

no! god! that book does NOT FUCK. it completely ignored like, the whole fucking point. i have OPINIONS abt deh in the first place but no. fuck that book

7 is ANSWERED

8 -

off broadway will always be my favorite. next question

9 -

its STARSHIP and theres NOTHING that ANY of you could do to CHANGE IT

10 -

everyone gets to make fun of me for this but not once have i seen or listened to any version of bare astro im so sorry

11 -

hugh jackman as jenna.

(wont say if its a dream or nightmare)

12 -

kermit but specifically kermit in that video where hes like "i dropped the gun. let me in"

13 -

oklahoma 2019, baby

14 is ANSWERED

15 -

yes. its weird. but im not gonna stop them

16 -

last five years next question

17 -

phantom of the opera but thats just because i hate phantom of the opera

18 -

okay this is controversial but falsettos 2016 was so disappointing it had so much potential but it just kinda eh

19 -

dwsa or obc spring awakening that shit went HARD

20 -

you didnt GIVE ME A SHOW bossip birl but hey wouldnt a damon and eva hadestown fuck

21 is answered

22 -

worst love duet is uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhz

i cant think of any i xant think of a love duet that i havent enjoyed. i mean. rewrite the stars from greatest showman isnt that good but it still FUCKS

23 -

36 questions the podcast musical

24 -

uhhh lets go with spring awakening. i remove any insinuation of predatory hanschen and rewrite every single one of melchiors monologues. and redo the scene where melchior beats wendla bc... fuck s*ter i cannot stand him

25 -

theres one its uhh KEVIN

26 is ANSWERED

27 is ANSWERED

28 -

fight club.

but also..... dead poets society.

ive talked a lot this abt i dont know why im blanking so HARD

29 -

i domt know that manynplays im so so sorry

30 is answered

31 -

umbrella academy. how to get away with murder. season 5 of greys anatomy.

32 -

a david bowie musical would fuck

33 -

spring awakening.

i have discussed a spring awakening movie in great detail. you have no idea.

#thank you this was exhausting #vins variety hour #asks #bossip birl anon

0 notes

jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 4 years

Text

Episode 3: Fear Response

You know the drill. Thoughts with time stamps coming your way.

SPOILERS AHEAD

0:55 - Is Martin really that delusional? He killed people and he thinks his wife isn’t going to divorce him?!?

1:23 - “A woman overlooks things.” No. I’m sorry. But Jessica’s mother sounds kind of awful. No one should have to overlook “things” in a marriage. Communicate people. Don’t settle. Compromise. Love. Forgive. Don’t overlook red flags.

1:47 - Lay down the law Jessica. That’s my girl. This is the moment I fell in love with Jessica.

3:19 - Malcolm leaves his phone in another room when he sleeps? Good for him. My technology addicted ass could never do that. Plus it’s my alarm clock so you know - there’s that.

3:30 - Jessica owns the building Malcolm lives in. This raises a lot of questions for me about Malcolm’s finances. He was clearly getting paid by the FBI. I assume the NYPD is also paying him. Does he have access to the family money? Is he paying rent for his loft? Or does he live rent free because it’s the “family building”?!? The finances of people who grew up rich is such a mystery to me. How does it work when your rich parents are still alive?

3:49 - He flung himself out a window. He was having a nightmare and it caused him to fling himself out a window while he was still asleep. This. Boy. Needs. A. Hug. Also real sleep. And peace.

4:48 - “I just watched you throw yourself out a window.” Did you see Malcolm’s facial expression after she said that. It was a look that says “I know I’m broken. I don’t like it. I’m sorry. I’m doing my best. I’m ashamed.”

5:10 - He knows. He knows his mental health is a mess but he lies to his mother anyways. He wants to be brave for her. He doesn’t want her to worry about him. She’s suffered enough. She’s worried enough. He doesn’t want to be a burden. My heart breaks for Malcolm in this scene.

5:35 - Look I have personal issues with shrinks but I’m really happy Malcolm has someone to talk to. Also she’s such a cool therapist. She’s kind and respectful without being demeaning and coddling.

7:00 - I LOVE that Malcolm is sitting with his legs folded. It’s super cute. Also it reinforces the idea that he’s in a vulnerable state.

7:22 - Does Malcolm have social anxiety? The way he approaches this crime scene it almost looks like he’s rehearsing what he’s going to do/say when he arrives. It’s a very common social anxiety habit.

7:38 - He took enough lollipops to share. That might be the sweetest thing in the world. Gil looks so happy. Dani and JT look so confused. I wonder if Malcolm is sharing lollipops to subtly tell Gil that he’s seeing his therapist and he’s getting help.

8:11 - Another awkward Edrisa and Bright interaction. I’m cringing.

8:50 - Do you ever wonder what Mr.David’s job description is? I do. I mean does he just stand there watching Martin all day. Is he supposed to talk to Martin? Is he supposed to prevent Martin from hurting himself? I mean I love Mr.David but if Martin is alone in his room why does Mr.David need to be there? Martin is chained to the wall.

10:10 - Oh hell no. That’s nasty. Also Malcolm looks way too excited about the brain removal.

10:34 - Ok. So I don’t ship Maldrisa. BUT that little smile that Malcolm just gave Edrisa is warming my cold, dead heart.

11:05 - The victim was scared to death. Malcolm is currently suffering from increased mental distress caused by his father and extreme night terrors. And now the victim has been scared to death. Irony? Foreshadowing?

12:03 - hahaha Gil’s face. He’s like “I can’t explain that boy’s behaviour.”.

12:07 - STOP. Right now. Does Malcolm really have his own desk?!? So he’s like officially employed right? This isn’t some irregular consultation gig that Gil has arranged. Our boy has a desk. Our boy is permanent. I am so happy.

12:30 - Mr.David doesn’t deserve to have to bend to Martin’s will. “Could you mute that please”. That man better be getting a pretty penny from this job.

12:40 - How does Martin get this case info?!? I don’t see the newspapers/newscasts mentioning the incision on the side of the victim’s skull.

13:30 - Oh and whose fault is that Martin? Ugh. I wish Martin just wouldn’t talk to Malcolm anymore. He really aggravates Malcolm’s anxiety.

14:33 - I am both touched and slightly creeped out that Gil has been staring at Malcolm through a window while he was on the phone.

15:07 - Fanboy alert. It’s honestly so freaking sweet to see Malcolm this excited....but it’s really not the time.

16:10 - What exactly does Jessica do all day? Does she just watch the news and keep tabs on her children? That’s kind of sad. For Jessica. I wish she were able to have more of a social life despite what Martin did.

17:12 - Ainsley, sweetheart, I love you. I see where you’re coming from. But your Mother did the right thing for you. You shouldn’t have to remember a monster.

18:40 - Dang. Dani looks beautiful in that shade of blue.

19:30 - Do you ever wonder why Malcolm doesn’t carry a gun with the NYPD? He’s qualified to carry a gun since he used to work for the FBI. Do you think he’s not allowed to carry one since he’s technically not a police officer with the NYPD? I prefer to believe that he refuses to carry a gun with the NYPD because he’s terrified of what he might do with a gun. To a suspect. To himself (presuming he stores it at home when he’s not working).

20:12 - Again. Malcolm is not a killer. Look at his concern for Dr. Brown in this scene.

21:21 - JT’s writing the report. Do they all have to make a report for every case or do they take turns writing a single report (like a group project) for every case? I’m very curious.

21:23 - oooooohhhh Dad is angry. And concerned.

21:50 - Do you ever wonder what classes Bright took in university? I do. He has a degree in psychology but he seems to know a lot about specific medications, medical conditions, and medicine in general. Is that because of Martin? Maybe? But a lot of his knowledge seems way beyond what a 10 year old could understand and retain.

24:10 - I love this scene. It suggests that there was a point in time when Gil and Jessica talked frequently. Maybe they were even friends. It suggests that they bonded over how much they love Malcolm. Makes me wonder what kind of a relationship Gil has/had with Ainsley.

27:48 - This. This is how much Jessica loves Malcolm. Yes she oversteps boundaries and she can come across as cold and distant. BUT she is willing to see a man that terrifies her. Who caused her so much pain. A man that she hates. Simply because she wants to keep her son healthy and safe. That right there is a good mother.

28:28 - This is my favourite running gag of the series. I genuinely want to know what JT stands for. If it’s not something ridiculous like “James Tiberius” or “Justin Timberlake” because JT’s parents were big nerds I will be so disappointed.

29:00 - This conversation about trust and respect between JT and Malcolm is everything. It really solidifies their friendship. You can tell that from this point onward JT is much warmer toward Malcolm. I love this. So much.

29:15 - What branch of the military was JT a part of? Marine? Air Force? Army? Navy?

30:08 - Malcolm’s list of diagnoses. Yikes. :( My heart is shattered.

30:21 - The look in Malcolm’s eyes here. Just. No. Ouch. That hurts. This boy needs a hug.

32:30 - I kind of don’t feel bad for this woman. She kind of sucks.

32:50 - I like to believe that JT is texting his wife in this scene. I like to believe he’s telling her about how he got stuck babysitting the weirdo who keeps guessing what his name stands for.

32:52 - I’m sorry. What? What did JT see that caused him to get out of the car. Malcolm hasn’t called him yet and that house looks normal on the outside.

34:14 - The fact that Malcolm can empathize with killers is beautiful and terrible. It’s a wonderful quality but it’s probably not great for his mental health.

34:55 - That’s a concussion.

36:15 - I get the feeling that half the time when Malcolm’s talking down a killer he’s really talking to himself. That breaks my heart.

36:38 - Malcolm’s manic guesses of JT name is very concerning. I’m worried for this boy. I really hope someone got him checked out for a concussion.

37:12 - Ugh. Don’t look at her like she’s a piece of meat.

37:33 - The way Jessica and Martin interact really makes me question what their married relationship was like. Did they argue a lot? Did they show a lot of PDA? I have questions.

38:30 - The way Jessica insults Martin is my favourite thing. It’s freaking hilarious.

39:10 - If Martin is a psychopath he legitimately can’t feel pride for his children. Right? So he’s lying here?

40:40 - What was the whole story? What did Jessica do? Was it the alcoholism? Is that what he’s referring to?

42:00 - DUDE. Please don’t drug yourself. You are so desperate for answers that you’ve become self-destructive. I want you to be safe.

I love this show. Ugh. If you read through any of this - thanks for hanging out. I hope to post my thoughts on the next episode soon.

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dontshootmespence · 7 years

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Coercion - 17

@coveofmemories @reiding-and-writing @myxomatosis-s @skeletoresinthebasement @passionate-hedgehog @camigt1999 @eideticenticement @ultrarebelheart @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @mishamgos @matthewgublers @tinyplanet-explorers

You are just about to start your new job at the BAU after years of working to get there, when a man you don’t know approaches you with an evil plan and knowledge of every sordid detail of your past. What will you do? Will you give into the man’s demands? Or will you be able to find another way out?

----

It wasn’t going to be a long ride to Decatur, but as they plane ascended, you wondered when this would all end. Unlike your last ride on jet, a ride into your past that was, Spencer sat next to you and held your hand. He could feel the twitching and sweat indicative of an overabundance of nerves. All you wanted to do was make peace with past and find out who you were now, but whenever you started making progress, something came up and pulled you back, dirtying your improvements, like a brother grabbing his sister’s dress and pulling her backward – the dress got dirty, it could be wiped off. But it was a never-ending cycle, and you were so very tired. Now wasn’t the time for that, you needed to focus, because if this was Rocco, and you were still pretty convinced it was, you required every ounce of energy you possessed to take the bastard done.

Just as you were about to get lost in your daydream, or nightmare really, Garcia popped up onto the TV screen. Normally, right as she clicked in, she’d greet you all with some perky, peppy monologue about how she was the one and only, which was true of course, but she’d hesitated. “They found another body,” you said immediately, eliciting a small nod from the team’s guardian angel. “Can I see her picture?” The second she popped up, you remembered her. “When I knew her, she was Amber.”

“And who she is now is no mystery to me,” Garcia said, trying her best to pep herself up. “Her real name is Trina Masters and I think she may give you a run for the most fucked up past award.” Somehow, you weren’t quite sure, but you gave Garcia a smirk. “At the age of 6, her mother ran with her after finding that her father had been molesting her. He went to jail and subsequently died in a prison riot. For the next ten years, there really isn’t a blip in the radar until she turned 16 when her mother died of cancer. With no one else to turn to, she went from homeless shelter to homeless shelter for a few months and was then picked up by Rocco. At least I can assume so, because her first arrest was for prostitution and Rocco Mitchell bailed her out. Over the next three years, she was arrested for prostitution, possession with intent to distribute, assault, and a variety of small offenses. They stopped at 20, which is in line with what Y/N said about Rocco replacing these women with younger ones once they reached adulthood.” She shivered at the thought, hating the fact that the words had even come out of her mouth. And when you thought about it, Trina might just have had a worse past than you.

With a click, the crime scene photos popped up on the screen. “This one was angrier,” Spencer said, staring at the small purple and red dots around her eyes. “Mary and Clara didn’t have petechial hemorrhage, but she does.” He’d used more force with her.

“And it’s only been a day and a half and three women have been found already,” Emily said, looking at her watch. “Maybe there was more force because whoever this happens to be is truly desperate to meet some kind of timeline.”

Garcia shivered again, about to deliver more disgusting news that would undoubtedly scar her perfect, beautiful brain. “She was also sexually assaulted. While we don’t have her results, the results from Mary and Clara came up inconclusive. Whoever this was didn’t leave anything behind in that department. However-“ Her eyes lit up. Maybe he’d fucked up? “He did leave something behind. Under Trina’s fingernails, the ME found small bits of latex gloves and a small amount of blood. She managed to nick him. Good for her.”

Well that was a nail in the unsub’s coffin. Hard evidence. “She left behind a boyfriend, Dwayne, and an infant daughter, Amanda.” Another child losing their parent too soon. When would it end?

Hotch rubbed his temple. After so many years in this role, one might assume that people like Hotch and Rossi, who between them had more than 50 years of experience, would have gotten used to the horrors they’d seen. But the strained look on theirs faces and the way they were sighing and rubbing their eyes told even the newest of profilers that they’d never gotten used to the depravity they came across. When your glance met Rossi’s, you could see the question in his eyes. Was this all worth it? At the beginning of his career, he would’ve immediately said yes, but with each passing year he found it harder and harder to answer that question. “Okay, when we get there we are going to split up so we can cover the most ground, with the exception of Y/N, you’ll be with me, and Emily, you’ll go with JJ.” When you were about to ask why, he continued. “If this is Rocco Mitchell, then you are a target, and I don’t want you going anywhere alone.” You wanted to protest, but you swallowed your pride instead.

“Morgan, when we touch down, I want you to go interview Trina’s boyfriend. Reid, you have Clara’s family. Dave, you’ll take Mary’s family. Emily, I want you and JJ to head to the most recent crime scene and then the ME, and Y/N, you and I will go to the first two crime scenes.” With your orders given out, everyone settled back into their seats.

“You okay?” Spencer whispered, giving your hand another squeeze.

Shaking your head, you turned to him. Tears had become normal – a day without them was considered weird. “It’s just…I worked toward this for nearly 20 years, and now I’m wondering if I’m cut out for this…in the long haul. I’m just so tired, Spence. It feels like no matter what I do, I can’t move beyond my past.” When a tear fell down your cheek, Spencer wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “After all you’ve been through, I think you’re quite possibly the strongest woman I’ve ever known, but…no matter what decision you make about your future I’ll understand, as long as I can be in it.”

A small smile spread across your face despite the tears. “Thank you, Spence,” you said softly. “I have a lot of thinking to do. But for now, let’s focus on getting whoever this happens to be.”

“You still think it’s Rocco, don’t you?”

“Yes,” you said with undeniable certainty. “If the third victim had been someone I didn’t know, I’d have said I was jumping to conclusions, but considering I also knew Trina…”

He swallowed hard. The more you found out, the more everyone seemed to take your side. This looked like Rocco’s doing.

---

The minute you touched down in Decatur everyone shot out in his or her respective directions. There was no time to waste if you wanted to catch whoever this was before they killed again. You and Hotch made a quick pit-stop to check in with the local authorities – like you, they assumed this was Rocco Mitchell. Although he’d moved his ring of prostitution from Decatur to Atlanta in recent years, they assumed he was returning for revenge of some kind.

In your opinion, it wasn’t revenge, but it was definitely connected to Rocco��s past and by extension his future. As you hopped into the car with Hotch and an officer from the Decatur PD, you sighed. “You okay?” Hotch asked.

“I’ll be fine, Hotch, it’s just…” You hesitated, wondering if it was best to revel to the local officer that you had a past with Rocco Mitchell. “It’s just, I’m pretty sure we’re going to find at least one more body before we catch him.”

Hotch was also hesitant to reveal anything about you if it wasn’t what you wanted, but he was also big on transparency with whoever you happened to be working with. “Is that all?” he asked. “You seem to have something else on your mind.”

The other thing that was on your mind was what you’d spoken with Spencer about earlier. Were you really cut out for this? “After everything that’s happened, I’m just not sure of where I stand,” you admitted. “Not with the Bureau, I appreciate everyone having my back, more than any of you will ever know, but in my own mind.”

“That’s understandable,” he said, reaching over and placing his hand on top of yours.

The officer, who’d introduced himself as Officer Riley Johnson, piped up from the back seat. “What would they need to have your back for?”

There really was no need in hiding it, but you still hesitated. “My name now is Agent Y/N Y/L/N, but about 20 years ago, my name was Sierra Cheverie, and I was one of Rocco Mitchell’s girls.” His eyes widened in amazement.

“You afraid you might be a target if this is him?” he asked, thankfully glossing over the fact that you were a former working girl.

If this was Rocco, you were 100 percent a target. “Yes, the three women that have been murdered so far are girls that I worked the streets with back then, so I have no doubt that whoever this is, is attacking that specific group of working girls.” By the time you finished informing Officer Johnson of your checkered past, you’d arrived at the first crime scene.

A gnawing started in your stomach and the bile rose in your throat. “Y/N?” Hotch placed his hand on your shoulder.

“I’ve been in this alley before, Hotch.” You looked down, unable to meet his gaze. He didn’t need to ask why you’d been in this alley. Before looking around, you took a few minutes to compose yourself. This particular area, where Mary’s body had been found, was a particular hot spot for clients because it was well-hidden. If you had been taken advantage of in this alleyway before, it was more than likely the other women had as well. “Hotch…this is Rocco.”

He nodded. If it wasn’t obvious before, it was now. “C-Can you tell us about this alleyway?” He hated having to ask you; you could see it in his face. But you really needed to get inside Rocco’s head if you had a chance of catching him.

“I obviously can’t vouch for the other girls, but I was taken here by many clients,” you started. “It’s off the beaten path, so people can hide here easily. Because of that, Rocco would take some of us here as well. I’ve been up against the dumpster before…” Your brought your hands up to cover your nose and mouth in an attempt to stop the tears, but it did little good. “He thinks of his girls like dirt - nothing more than a set of holes to be used to make him money. If you outlive your usefulness, you’re disposable.”

Hotch placed his hand on your back and ushered you out of the alleyway with Officer Johnson close behind. You got back into the car to make your way to Clara’s crime scene, but unfortunately, you were fairly confident that you were going to find the same exact thing – an unceremonious burial place where no one deserved to take their final breaths.

---

After returning from Clara’s crime scene, which was, as you’d expected, the same as Mary’s, you returned with the local officer to the local police department. When you arrived, Spencer and Rossi had already returned from their interviews with the first two victims’ families. “What did you find out?” Hotch asked.

Spencer wrapped his arms around, seeing how badly this was affecting you. “Clara’s husband was aware of her past. He actually helped her out of it. She had the one relapse, which is actually how she met her husband. He was interning at a substance abuse clinic when they met.” You took a deep breath and grabbed onto Spencer’s coat. He placed his hand on your back and began moving up and down; it normally helped to center you. “When I asked if he knew of anyone who might want to hurt his wife, his immediate answer was Rocco Mitchell. Her husband said she worked very hard to get where she was and the two of them and their family was in a good place. The only thing she had against her was her past.”

“Same with Mary,” Rossi said remorsefully. After composing yourself again, you looked over at him. “She and her husband crossed paths randomly on the street. After dating for about a year, she revealed her past to him. They had a bit of a hard time working through it, but they did, and she was happy. I asked the same thing, and he also said Rocco Mitchell. Mary’s husband said, and I quote, ‘Mary was convinced that even though she was happy that her past was going to somehow come back and bite her in the ass.’”

Emily and JJ were still traveling to and from the ME’s office and the latest crime scene. “What do you have over there?” Hotch asked, picking up the phone to dial them.

Apparently, not much else you didn’t already know. Trina’s crime scene read exactly like the other two, and the ME was still waiting on the DNA from under Trina’s fingernails. “Alright, we’ll start on the profile when you, JJ and Morgan get back.”

Morgan should’ve checked in already, you thought to yourself. Something was wrong.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #dontshootmespence #coercion

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brenli · 7 years

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[[length warninnnngu]]

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 whoever the fuck you want

Tagged by: @goddamnitkastle (Thank youuuuu~)

Tagging: @annabelle-poe @halorecoil @chocostains @direngreyofmyheart @malevolentqueenofspiders @claudia86c @laura--howlett @lemonedscream @aflawedfashion @kareink @catchild @candybunnieholic @thisisntmyrealhair @ominous-communication @borgiabastard @evilwriter37 @lesbomancy @myguiltyghost @rococo-royalty @celestialcollectionaus

The Last:

1. drink: Blue Moon, Honey Wheat.

2. phone call: The Honey’s youngest brother, asking to get picked up at the driving school (he just passed his written test today~)

3. text message: Roommate P, ranting about the road block on I-90 around Vantage due to the brush fire.

4. song you listened to: The last SONG song was “Mama I’m Coming Home” Ozzy, but the last music overall that I listened to was the BGM for The Keepers.

5. time you cried: Prolly a few months back during one of the times I got a little TOO frustrated about how like, a large percentage of my life is boxed up.

6. dated someone twice: I dunno I guess my last date was when I went to see Baby Driver and basically any date with the Honey is an additional date so???

7. kissed someone and regretted it: If I have any regretful kisses they happened literally over 15 years ago. I dunno. Maybe the guy that bit my thighass area without my consent; I did kiss him prior to the biting incident. (It’s okay I hit him across the face and that was the end of that dumbness so.)

8. been cheated on: No.

9. lost someone special: When Uncle Pete passed on, which was Christmastime 2009. Christmastime used to be a little hard because of it; now the joy comes back in remembering his big Texan self.

10. been depressed: There is a part of me that feels like this is a weird question to ask someone who has depression always kind of humming in the background, but I guess the last time I let it CONSUME me was, again, a few months back when I was a little TOO frustrated about being so boxed up. While I like the work I’m doing up here more than what I was doing down there, the fact remains that this was not what I was led to believe I would be coming into. I don’t want to spend the time ranting poetic about it; it would take too long. The short of it is I’m unhappy with what feels like being misled, and even more unhappy with knowing I can’t really leave it right away. It’s been a little too easy to get eaten up, because of it. I don’t talk about it when it happens, because people always want to come at it with solutions, and there isn’t one. That’s not how this situation works. And for that matter, that’s not how depression as a mental illness works; sometimes you’re sad because you’re sad and you just have to kind of. Work through it. Process it.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Uhhhhhh, probably C’s bachelorette party, which was back in 2012.

Favorite Colors:

12. I refuse to answer this in the traditional manner screw this I hate fave color questions. XD I adore, stark black and white, sometimes with a splash of red.

13. Anything from burnished bronze and coppers to brilliant, pure golds to warm, old ivories.

14. I used to really not feel the classic Snow White primary colors kind of palette, but it’s grown on me over time - blues and reds and yellows.

In The Last Year Have You:

15. made new friend: Yes~

16. fallen out of love: No.

17. laughed until you cried: Yesterday.

18. found out someone was talking about you: Also yesterday.

19. met someone who changed you: I guess I kinda feel like everyone a person meets changes said person on some kinda level, even if only minutely. The last person to change me immensely was, I guess Dr. Lund.

20. found out who your friends are: I feel like I’m always finding out who my friends are. XD

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: Well the Honey is on my FB list so.

General

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: Pretty sure all of them, excluding public figure pages. Seeing as my FB is locked down from ever-watching eyes. (Sometimes I wonder what people think of my life what with me periodically mentioning being watched and my boxed up life and all sorts of weird stuff. XD)

23. do you have any pets: I have a Chocobean! There are also two other cats in the house and two dogs, who are technically claimed by others, but you know how it is when you’re sharing a space with multiple people who all have pets. It just becomes like, the pet COMMUNITY and we’re all taking care of the pet COMMUNITY basically.

24. do you want to change your name: In my youth I wanted to, very badly. Around mid-to-late highschool days I ultimately embraced my name, enough to make it the root for my online handles.

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I enjoyed the Anaguran sky and also went to watch Star Trek Beyond at the Chinese Theater in Hollywood. Got the metal popcorn tin and everything.

26. what time did you wake up: Around 8:45AM.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Philip Defranco.

28. name something you can’t wait for: The Punisher for sure for sure for sure!!! Also, P securing a freaking house with freaking space so I can finally fully unbox my life, and for the conclusion of my AS series notes that I’ve been doing as a book club type situation with @halorecoil, which will help me a lot for CotF going forward. Or P securing a house with space so I can unbox my life and finally fine my note sheet. Whichever. XD

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: December 2016.

31. what are you listening to right now: The AC, a place going by (again), Frankie hissing at my Chocobean and Chocobean not giving a single fuzzy fuck about it. XD

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yeah. He was obsessed with some box. (Not really; we were performing a scene together and his CHARACTER was obsessed with some box. XD)

33. something that is getting on your nerves: SO I’VE BEEN GETTING ACTIVELY CONSUMED BY MOSQUITOS THE PAST 4 DAYS AND YOU THINK I’M KIDDING BUT I’M AT ALMOST 40 BITES NOW AND I’M GETTING UPSET ABOUT IT BECAUSE ALL THE BITES ARE SWOLLEN AND ITCHY AND RED I LOOK FUCKING TERRIBLE AND WANT TO PEEL MY SKIN OFF. 8)

34. most visited website: Tumblr. Youtube. Pinterest. Instagram.

35. hair color: Dark brown (with some natural red/auburn highlight situation going on if it’s under direct light).

36. long or short hair: Long on me, long on my Honey.

37. do you have a crush on someone: Flaming hot. On my Honey

38. what do you like about yourself: My hair, my hips.

39. piercings: Just the one hole in each earlobe. I had a navel ring but had to take it out when it started showing signs of rejection. T.T I want it back, very badly. As well as a septum ring.

40. blood type: O positive. HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW THAT MOSQUITOS PREFER TYPE O BLOOD. DID YOU. DID YOU KNOW. BECAUSE I KNOW. I KNOW FROM FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE.

41. nickname: Bren.

42. relationship status: Married.

43. zodiac: Leo.

44. pronouns: She/her

45. favorite tv show: Man this is really a mood thing, but I guess my earliest favorite is Star Trek TOS. I’m a sucker for way back when’s like The Tudors, The Borgias, Marco Polo. House of Cards is divine, and Daredevil.

46. tattoos: Inkless, though I like to think of ideas.

47. right or left handed: Leftie~

48. surgery: The only one I’ve ever had was to get all four wisdom teeth taken out.

49. piercing: Repeat questions are for chumps.

50. sport: I’m not a sporty type, but I enjoy volleyball? If dance can be considered a sport I done BEEN interested but haven’t learned anything.

51. vacation: Boracayyyyyyyy~! Also, the Normandy region of France.

52. pair of trainers: I dunno Mama gave me a pair of black and hot pink running shoes?

More General

53. eating: Air.

54. drinking: Air.

55. i’m about to: Rest.

56. waiting for: Space.

57. want: Getaway.

58. get married: Already.

59. career: Storytelling.

60. hugs or kisses: Both.

61. lips or eyes: Both.

62. shorter or taller: Just right.

63. older or younger: Either make me 4, 19, or 75. XD

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Arms.

65. hook up or relationship: Relationship.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: A Hesitant Troublemaker.

67. kissed a stranger: Then he bit my thighass and that ended that.

68. drank hard liquor: July 4th.

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I’ve actually never lost either.

70. turned someone down: April 2016.

71. sex on the first date: Depends on what I’m trying to get out of said date prolly.

72. broken someone’s heart: The Honey’s, once.

73. had your heart broken: By the Honey, once.

74. been arrested: No.

75. cried when someone died: Yes.

76. fallen for a friend: The Honey is a friend so.

Do You Believe In:

77. yourself: Yes?

78. miracles: Yes, but not always what we’re specifically hoping for, and thus not always acknowledged.

79. love at first sight: Like at first sight.

80. santa claus: Saint Nick, yeah.

81. kiss on the first date: Gotta give ‘em something to remember you know.

82. angels: Yes.

Other

83. current best friend’s name: Lorie, Jael Face

84. eye color: Brown.

85. favorite movie: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), which is a great way to end this because I don’t know how expected that was. XD

#questionaire #wooooo this was a long one!

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