#was the extent of it now maybe

[goldkirk]

.

#okay things have gone wrong at most turns today #and my sister shared a video on her story where the op is claiming to save children from #children and infants I mean #from organ harvesting AND ‘satanic witch doctor rituality’ AND pedophilia/etc. #over in west Africa and I’m like. there’s so much wrong with this I don’t know where to start #and it’s so conspiracy heavy and unsourced #and my sister shared this TODAY #and she had been quieter about conspiracies lately #but today she announced where the oldest two are going for school/brainwashing this year #and shared this #and I hoped that the conspiracy she told all of us when I was in town #about the potatoes and food #was the extent of it now maybe #but it isn’t #and I’m sad and miss my sister #I feel like I lost her in 2006 #she was like my second mom. she changed and she’s never been the same #anyway #our lease expires and I don’t have access to sign it bc it just isn’t showing up #and my car needs to be junked so I don’t pay the parking anymore #bc I can’t afford it and also the car won’t start #and I’m not getting a new battery or anything bc I don’t drive now I use transit #but they couldn’t come till two weeks from now #and so I went to a different service but I haven’t heard back from scheduling yet #and I just got a bug assigned to me at work #and my body has been panicking for a lot of yesterday and today #the lease and parking stuff won’t be addressed till Sunday #bc that’s when the office people told me to come back when xyz person is back in the office #it’s all going to be okay in the end but heavens. heavens #shh katie

[koipepo]

That omake of little Kabru not being able to show off his howetown sweets because of Misril gets to me a lot so...

Here's a happier Kabru (and Lairu)

#kabru #lairu #labru #laios #dungeon meshi #my art #my fanart #fanart #idk why i resort to fluffy fanart even tho i keep thinking and seeing gag/hornt lairu stuff #kabru is just so.. fascinating and actually endlessly tragic #i kinda like that ryoko kui doesnt try to over-explain or dramatize her characters that have tragic backstories. it makes her world that- #-much more believable and realistic. that being said i will devour more kabru stories from her #i kinda cant stop thinking abt kabru (and to an extent lairu) #ik in Lairu/Labru fanart Kabru is usually depicted as humorously in denial guy #but i see it everywhere and it made me think more of their more understanding phase in the epilogue #maybe laios is ooc here but i think he will also warm up to human connection now that he actually has people he cares abt around him #(and maybe because kabru is teaching him tips and trick to be a Normal Guy lmao) #im also not very good at humor so theres only so much i can do with gag lairu 😂

[superkitten-poison]

i love you characters that are only valued for their looks i love you characters that were made to believe they have nothing to offer but their body i love you characters who use beauty to survive i love you characters whose beauty brings them pain i love you characters who are seen as objects i love you characters who see themselves as objects i love you characters who can't stand to not be pretty i love you characters who can't stand to be pretty anymore

#sooooooo many thoughts rn #banana fish #ash lynx #beastars #haru beastars #jennifer's body #tshoeh #the seven husbands of evelyn hugo #also about banana fish: #yut lung lee #yeah i didn't forget abt you #quinn fabray #my oc rubi shoutout rubi #last night in soho #lnis #poison ivy def applies to some extent but depends a lot on characterization #now to fanon-y maybe controversial additions #whizzer brown #c!quackity #yeah. i said it

[zadig-fate]

Not trying to wade too deep into the ongoing Jance debate (I've already reblogged people who've made the same argument I would)

But for those who interpret Nace's line in the film as him being tired/annoyed with the shipping stuff, I will point out:

That moment was filmed pre-Stožice while they were setting up the stage.

They made that "there's an ongoing conspiracy theory and it's all true" video while backstage before the show... so probably a few days AFTER the exchange we saw in the film.

If they really were tired of the shipping at that point, I doubt they would have thrown fuel on the fire with that video. So, at least at that time, I think it's fair to assume they were more amused than annoyed by it.

How they feel about it NOW... that's a different question. But at least during that moment in the film, I really think they were joking.

#my personal view is that they were amused at first and maybe still are to some extent #but they seem to have toned down their stage interactions since stožice #maybe because they started to feel concerned that it was getting out of hand #but nace has also regularly reposted shipping art and i don't think he would do that if it really truly bothered him #i think they might be tired of it now just because it's become a bit much #but if they were really truly bothered by it i think they would tell us #and wouldn't be reposting ship art #but even if they seem chill with shipping that IS NOT AN EXCUSE to involve them in it and fans should not bring it up to them #thank you for reading my tag essay #joker out #nace jordan #jan peteh #jance

[hephaestuscrew]

I think one of the things that I find so compelling about Minkowski & Eiffel is that I believe that who they each are as people means they have the inherent potential to have immensely positive impacts on each other, but I do not believe they would have even been friends in most possible scenarios in which they could have met. I believe they are uniquely attuned to help each other grow and develop and become better versions of themselves, but for the first year and a half of them living and working together, the prevailing emotion between them was irritation. I believe that they are able to support each other through hardship in a way no one else could, but without the specific kind of hardship they went through, they might never have known this.

And even as I acknowledge that they might never have bonded without the trauma, it's important to me that it's not that they are bonded purely by trauma, in a way that might imply Minkowski or Eiffel could have built the same bond with anyone who'd been up there with them.

They are bonded by the ways in which they care for each other, by the ways in which their contrasting personalities make them uniquely well suited to support each other, by the way Eiffel makes Minkowski laugh when she really needs to, by the way Minkowski would do anything to keep Eiffel safe, by the way Eiffel reminds Minkowski of her moral compass in her darkest moments, by the way Minkowski helps Eiffel understand that some things are worth taking seriously.

But without what they went through together, they might never have seen beyond their surface-level understandings of each other in order to form this incredibly valuable friendship. It's not that their traumatic experiences are all that bond them. It's that the traumatic experiences forced them to break past the initial barriers that prevented them from connecting with each other properly and from trying to understand each other, in order to realise the potential for connection that had always been there.

#Wolf 359 #w359 #Doug Eiffel #Renée Minkowski #Renee Minkowski #This is true to a lesser extent of some other Wolf 359 dynamics #like Minkowski & Hera #and maybe Minkowski & Lovelace #whereas I kind of think that at least personality-wise Eiffel and Hera would vibe together in most potential circumstances #although obviously other circumstances in which Eiffel and Hera would be able to meet and get to know each other are potentially limited #and in other circumstances they might not understand each other as well as they do in canon #Back in the day I did read a fair few AU fics for Wolf #and they can be fun #but this is a plausibility issue with them for my understanding of the show now #like if Eiffel was Minkowski's college roommate #or her co-worker at a more normal job #it saddens me to say that I don't think they would be friends #and if they aren't friends what's even the point #the empty man posteth #I am still writing that DSSPPM essay btw. I'm just also always thinking about this #Some of this is frankensteined from a longer post I had in my drafts #that I started writing ages ago in response to people saying the Hephaestus crew aren't found family cos they are just trauma bonded #Explaining my argument in response to that is tricky #They wouldn't have formed those connections without the trauma #but the connections aren't *about* the trauma #They're about each other #Eiffel & Minkowski

[sysig]

Didn’t know you had it in you, did you (Patreon)

#Doodles #Adventure Time #Fionna and Cake #Simon Petrikov #Winter King #Winterkov #What? Me? Enjoying a self/ ship ft. two dorks wearing glasses? Haha couldn't be me that doesn't sound like me at all #Trading one Tom Kenny brainworms for another sheesh - Tom Kenny stop voicing queer scientists challenge (impossible) #I hadn't drawn Simon before but I have known he's a massive cute for a heck while now lol #And yeah confirmed - he's Really fun to draw especially this iteration #His crows feet and hair streak ugh <3 #Plus I've just missed this style of eye more than I realized haha #And Winter just flows off my pencil like water like woah #I blame Spamton at least partially for that lol although he's easier to draw than Spamton :0 #Spamton is very fun! Winter's just easier for some reason :0 #Maybe 'cause he's so soft-faced haha ♥ And I don't use my colours on him lol #Honestly I only count this as self-slash on a technicality - yes they're both Simon bodily but that's not really Simon in Winter anymore huh #Maybe to some extent - he's still a scientist and all but honestly there's a comment I can't stop thinking about since I saw it #About how really that's The Crown using Simon as a host just without the madness - and his skills aid in keeping him lucid #So it's like a ghost puppeting your clone's still-living corpse more so than kissing yourself :) In my opinion lol #And I don't say that to get away from self-shipping! I love that stuff!! That's just genuinely how I read Winter now haha #Not that he wouldn't play into it lol #I've seen a ''I am like this so you are also like this :) Right Simon? :) You're like this'' and I enjoy that very much #Manipulative so and so <3

[chirpsythismorning]

I See the Light (Mike’s Version)

#byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers #st4 dna board #visual parallel being the shot of ryder to the right while staring longingly at rapunzel as she talks looking off into the distance #then we have the very technical artificial lighting which is what I think drives this parallel home for me #in this scene in rapaunzel they’re singing about being in the dark for a long time and NOW ‘seeing the light’ #and so the choice to illuminate will with light in 87% of the shots from mike’s pov here… is quite the choice #you’ll notice mike is not lighten up at all to this extent from will’s pov #this is bc mike is not will’s light! he is his heart (duh he just gave a whole speech about it) #for mike tho. will is his light!! #and so the implications that come with this song and the lyrics you just heard from ryder’s pov specifically #the character mike is being paralleled to here #are quite staggering #bc this choice could have the potential to add even more layers to what we are seeing here #this scene started with mike looking pretty depressed and hopeless as he has been looking for most of the season #this scene then ends with mike looking mesmerized. in awe and maybe the happiest we’ve ever seen him after hearing will’s words #and so what does this all mean? #was mike in the dark but now he’s starting to see the light? #at the end when the light is shining on will in the cabin and mike ends the scene resting his hand on will’s shoulder #is that to signify that mike is now in the process of stepping into the light with him? #the duffers saying in their emmy consideration that the show will end with the characters coming out of the darkness and into the light… #was that just a coincidence? #not at all related whatsoever to the culmination of two main characters taking 5 seasons to confront their feelings for each other? #after a season that made a point of focusing on their dynamic with light… #or is it really just that simple bc tangled is written and crossed off the st4 dna board? #like this is literally just one of several scenes that connects byler to romantic pairings from movies on the st4 dna board #basically #byler endgame

[lovesickeros]

putting my thoughts under the cut in case people dont want to spoil themself on arle voicelines

currently obsessed with the view our current harbingers have of the Tsaritsa. both childe and arlecchino greatly respect her even if arlecchino is dubiously loyal to the Tsaritsa at best. they both talk about her as a figure who is gentle and compassionate, completely at odds with both the organization she allows to commit horrible acts (dottore. its a lot of dottore. he canonically took children from the hoth under the old knave if they were no longer considered "useful" and used as test subjects). shes described as someone with no love left for her people yet the harbingers we've heard talk about her never seem to describe her in such a manner. of course, childe mentions she had to harden herself to complete her goal, but he still notes that shes too gentle. the more we learn about her the more i want to meet her purely because she is contradictions all the way down and its great!!! taking whatever scraps i can get and its perfectly in line with my characterization too so i stay winning

#not a fic #shaking like a rabid dog TSARITSA LORE TSARITSA LORE TSARITSA LORE #lore that actually follows how i characterize her too!!!!!! #a woman who is the goddess of love yet so clearly incapable of it and still it peeks through anyway #a horrible contradiction of the goddess of love and the tsaritsa. the cryo archon. #a woman who is gentle and loving and adoring at her very core but she cannot love. she cannot allow herself to love #despite the fact it was the very thing she was known for. she was the goddess of love and now she must sever a part of her #the fatui as a whole is all about “the greater good. no matter the cost” and it shows through every member!! #also the themes of “love” are shown through her harbingers as well in interesting way that i adore #childe and arlecchino themselves especially. #childe is all about familial love. he adores his family and esp his younger siblings. he'll do anything to make them happy #contrasted by arlecchino's lack of emotion at all. she cares for the kids but does she love them? maybe. but she is not a good “father” #she is still a harbinger. still raising children to be soldiers in the name of the tsaritsa. #but also her + clervie as a theme of love (however you see them aside) #i wont go too in depth but scara and his is familial as well (ei. and later nahida) #and also signora (romantic. rostam) is the turning point in her story. it made her into the crimson witch of flames!!! #something something love is consuming. and it consumed her (also applicable to arle to an extent) #okay ill shut up now this has been ur daily tsaritsa yapping

[ghostyprince]

they're really showing us how important guillermo is to everyone in that house (Laszlo bonding with him first and now Nadja and we know how Nandor has been constantly showing that he's super pathetic for Guillermo) so it will hurt more when he leaves huh

#i couldn't see the episode yet but im a notorious spoiler reader #and i cannot wait for nadja-guillermo time!!!! #they're so special to me #but is it just me tho??? #it seems like they've been setting up this whole season how everyone cares for him actually #like all the other times when guillermo left it was because we've seen constantly how shit the vampires treat him #and they still do to an extent but idk this has to have some significance #maybe they see him as a stupid baby vampire now that they need to take care of #i just woke up idk ahfhsj #noe.txt #wwdits #wwdits spoilers

[todayisafridaynight]

everyday i constantly think of masato's wheelchair and if that's his only one/main one no wonder he's so pissed at everyone

#snap chats #someone pointed this out to me like last year so im stealing it sorry cause I Think Of It Constantly #the handling of masato's disability will forever annoy me esp with how vague it is but esp his chair #one day ill draw masato with an appropriate wheelchair. maybe then he'll be happy for once #in a way i guess it could tie into how restricted or trapped he felt since the type of chair he's shown is more like. a hospital one #and not one youd really use as a regular user- like in that vein it is a bit of storytelling in that he can ONLY go out with help #since hospital chairs are SO much different from home chairs ESPECIALLY in regards to mobility and independence the user has #AND NOT TO MENTION HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THOSE CHAIRS ARE get his ass a proper cushion P L E A S E #like it portrays the idea that its unfathomable for him to go anywhere on his own and so in that vein . Interesting Storytelling #theres a lot of implications going on here if im so honest and again it makes for Really Interesting Story Telling #however i refuse to give rgg credit like that when it comes to disabilities. ... they havent earned that from me yet #see this is why the vagueness of his condition annoys me because he's shown to be independent enough to roll himself to his elevator #and presumably get himself dressed but he cant have a proper chair ? #because ik there are people who have expressed they have conditions where even writing is tiring #so if his condition was in-line with that and it was hard for him to push himself in his chair then i could buy it #obviously the issue lies with his lungs but i just want to know the full extent yk... #to wrap this up tho ive been thinking of character design in rgg and how we dont give credit to it enough #sooooo if i make a second post ten minutes from now thats why cause i keep forgetting to spam my thoughts on here LMAO #ok bye

[coquelicoq]

the thing they don't tell you about reading the entire dictionary aloud is that spending that much time caressing words in your mouth may lead you to form sensual, perhaps romantic associations with the act of speech. the words become more fully themselves on my tongue. i use my body to bring them to life. this, too, is yuri

#giggling and twirling my hair at the dictionary: ....and then what #i think i already was like this before i read the dictionary but it's hard to say. i do definitely think of individual words as #my friends or enemies and that's always been true to some extent. but now some of them are also my lovers #new ask game give me a word and i'll tell you what kind of relationship we have #here's a freebie: freebie. kind of obnoxious but doesn't rise to enemy level. i'm just sort of like oh freebie is at this party? #okay i will stand on the other side of the room so that we only cross paths once or twice and maybe kind of #comically grimace at each other in mutual forbearance. no love lost but we do basically respect each other #<-this is not a metaphor for whether i use the word freebie or how i feel when someone says the word freebie btw #it's just like...synesthesia. but for vibes? #fun with words #lecture du dico #my posts

[cream-and-tea]

pallas in book one is definitely at it-cannot-possibly-get-worse-than-this ABSOLUTE rock bottom but god. there is such a specific flavour to their despair in book two that only happens because of the realization they have at the end of lay me down. like. how do you move on after admitting that everything you believed in was a lie. how do you live with what you’ve done (with what has been done to you). is it possible to pull yourself up out of the pit you’ve dug. what do you do if it isn’t. what do you do if it IS. and once you look at the damage how do you stop looking. past the first layer of hurt there’s just more and more hurt and you were used by the one person who was supposed to keep you safe to cause even MORE pain and no matter how deep you go none of it means anything! it never meant anything at all!! motherfucker your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#pallas’s whole arc in the first book is getting to the point where they go ‘maybe i? feel bad about all this?? actually???’ #i cannot overstate enough that it takes an entire book to get them to that point lmao #and then it’s like. newsflash buddy now you’ve gotta DEAL with that #it really is the mental equivalent of getting into a hot bath of after being out in the cold for a whole day #and the interesting thing about pallas in the first book and their status as a villian and like. their eventual ‘oh SHIT’ moment #is that pallas doesn’t need to realize that they’re a bad person doing bad things #pallas is VERY aware that they are a bad person doing bad things #it’s actually more about realizing the harm that’s been done to them? like as a human being?? #bc they very much have the attitude of ‘well of course i’m doing bad things i was born as an inherently evil person there’s nothing else #i’m capable of doing the most i can hope for is that someone points me in the right direction and i’ll be able to do the hard things #that other people cannot (and SHOULD NOT) do’ #so THATS the mindset that needs to be unlearned before they can start moving forward? if that makes sense? #less ‘shit are we the baddies?’ and more ‘shit have i been horrifically abused?’ #but then after that realization all the blood they’ve spilled is still there. and they should never have had to do that. no one should ever #have to do that. but they did and now they’re starting to see the full extent of what that means #and they have to find a way to live with it. #and it’s absolutely DEVASTATING. #wip: ghost story #pallas #i’ve been working on the book two outline. if you couldn’t tell. head in absolute hands rn.

[wereh0gz]

Random headcanon

Sonic as werehog suffers from back pain and is generally more comfortable moving on all fours instead of walking on two legs because the transformation is more suited for quadrupedal movement and not bipedal

That's why he looks like he's slouching all the time he physically cannot stand up fully straight without being constantly uncomfortable

#ramblings #this by extention means ruby has chronic back pain from forcing themself to stand up straight to look more normal #even though it's far more confortable to walk and run on all fours #puts a lot of pressure on their back #... i wonder if this could also apply to furry characters #especially those with digitigrade legs #hm #anyways back to sonic #everyone tells him his posture sucks but he can't help it #if anything it's better for his body to not stand up straight so he doesn't put as much strain on his spine #he could probably use a massage #or a back brace maybe? but those are designed for humans so that might not work well for him #maybe tails could design one specifically for him #knowing him he wouldn't wear it much tho #with his distaste for wearing clothes and all #well he mostly just doesn't like wearing pants so he might still wear it #hm now i'm thinking of maybe designing one for him #maybe i'll doodle him wearing one in between the other stuff i said i'd draw

[soldier-poet-king]

I'm experiencing existential shrimp emotions and yet still expected to play nice and go to work and it's just. Man. Man. I wanna sit around and think and feel until I reach some sort of tenable equilibrium. Not just crush the intensity under my heel into apathy, or at least the false facade of apathy. I care too deeply! Let me care about every little thing intensely and consumptively! I don't WANT to not be like this.

#work is good work can be good work is a worthy task #this isnt anti work #this is just anti work right now while im Experiencing Things #anyway sleep did NOT remedy yesterdays emotional time from finishing my durge run in bg3 #just. i cant think about it without going wild again #all new emotions unlocked #i cannot stop thinking abt astarion and durge and shared monstrosity and autonomy and freedom #and choosing to grow and be better and how awful and scary and terrible it is #when there is nothing left. you have nothing of yourself left #and you sitll have to go on and choose what you want to be #and that's so terrifying and so good #im kinda. like. the most insanely jealous ive ever been in my life #u know the sea longing? the soul deep ache for smthn you know you wont ever have? #because it's not for people like you. or that the acquisition would destroy you? or smthn else #but it's just. yeah. yeah. i am experiencing things #partially just maybe that dopamine crash. y'know the post concert blues #except not a concert. just a really good game. a really good story #i havent felt this intensely abt a game in awhile #or not for this long. it didn't linger to this extent. #alas. work to do.chores to do.etc etc etc #im so ready for vacation next week. im tired. #like on the one hand i need long term direction. i need a goal. a purpose. a duty #yes i risk the perception of the self as a non person and simply a tool with a use #but i already see myself as a thing with no value but use. at least with direction id have a purpose #on the other hand. i fear it. because i dont want to lose the intensity. i dont want to #i dont want to be even keeled and calm. i dont want to give up my anxiety and sadness if it means also losing the highs of joy and elation #is the dramatic swing of moods healthy? perhaps not. but how else am i to experience the breadth and depth of human emotion. of the soul? #i understand the poets. the romantics. i lack their skill. but i understand the heart of it. #the most important thing there is. maybe.

[camptw1nk]

i miss. the vibes of the rpc a few years back

#things just felt more. community based #people interacted more w each other on the dash and it felt like people were really there to interact and not just for a follower count #its probably rose colored glasses in a lot of ways bc thats when i was most active so thats when it was most enjoyable but #idk there was just something ab the days where u could have 50 followers and always be interacting w most of them #these days ill get 200 followers and the same 5 mutuals interacting all the time #and like. huge shoutout to them they know who they are but those people make this site worth being on #its just. idk its tiring when a lot of time is spent yelling into the void that is the dash and getting nothing back #and to some extent timezones r to blame and also my lack of writing but its. its not just a lately thing #its been getting worse for years and i think this is really the first time ive ever been like. not active on tumblr? #like im here but a couple of years ago the idea of me having a main blog and barely ever logging in or writing was absurd #i would be online and writing 24/7 if not here then on discord and wire #bc people were always around to interact with and now its just like. oh weve all grown up and become adults and no one has time #for each other anymore and its very. thats life thats how it is but it sucks idk #maybe this is 2 some extent projection also bc thats how things r irl rn but thats just. tahts not important

[muzzleroars]

Ferryman sways constantly in the apartment which worries Gabriel but it isn't from their wounds, it's their sea legs that haven't adapted to dry land yet.

But wow, that would be some intense trauma for the Ferryman to work through. outside the outright denial of heaven, basically all their hobbies and joys have been outright condemned as well. how would they be able to pick up a paintbrush or chisel without Micheal's words and actions coming to the forefront of their mind?

At least they have Gabe and V1 to lean on and the routine change should keep their mind from going to dark places.

Actually, if you combine this with Gabe learning to repair v1 (later reviving V2) then that would be a good way for them to bond again since the Ferryman could know mechanics from ship repairs and the hologram gabe shows that they do know a fair amount of robotics (depending on when they died they could already know alot about blood machines) plus their friendship with V1 would encourage them to collaborate and teach Gabe a thing or two. a cool new dynamic, teacher Ferryman and student Gabe.

(see this!)

YEA....it's a lot for the ferryman to process. it's one thing to feel unworthy in their own mind, to not truly believe beneath it all, despite gabriel's kindness, their holy cloth, and their sincere repentance, that salvation will come, because they know they've lost their chance. but to have those thoughts voiced by an archangel, to hear the prince of heaven lay out their ugliest thoughts is entirely something else. it's confirmation, no matter the faint hope they carried or the comfort gabriel gave them, it's all gone. michael has to be the final say, he is the one that visits souls at the hour of their death to offer one last chance, he is the one that binds all the evil of hell, he is the one that cast lucifer out of heaven. if he condemns them, they are truly lost and they can no longer even dream they may one day reach heaven even purely as fantasy.

i do really love that it gives them the opportunity to be with gabriel and v1 though,,,,they would initially feel so lost, not just in their thoughts but without any work to do. the apartment is of course nowhere near the size of their ship and they don't constantly have to be aware of their direction, yet like you mentioned, they can't find it in them to engage in their art which once brought them so much comfort. yet they can't feel like a burden either, no matter how much gabriel insists he wants them just to rest and v1 absolutely doesn't care about christian work ethic mentalities. but after a couple days of rest, they simply need to do something to help out...so i like the idea that they set to fixing up their apartment to a much higher standard than gabe or v1 could manage. they know how to repair just about anything, from structural issues to a squeaky door, so while gabriel continues to tell them it's not necessary, they set about to making the apartment like new (hell-wise). eventually gabe does relent, since the ferryman gently lets him know it helps them to have work...and soon he has to be actively involved, lest he want v1 making all the paint/wallpaper choices.

and i LOVE the idea of the ferryman helping gabe learn electronics/robotics aaaaaa ;o; the first time v1 goes out on its little exploration trips, they see gabriel pulling out his study materials and sheepishly explaining that well....he wants to be able to perform maintenance on v1 since he fears blood won't always be enough. the ferryman, not wishing to be presumptuous, tells him of their own modest experience and that he just needs to take it slowly, but gabriel immediately asks for assistance since it would be much easier to learn from someone else than pouring over terminal schematics and the scant literature he's gathered. and it could really bridge the gap that's grown between them, as well as the one that had always been present since the ferryman never felt worthy of his presence when he was an angel besides. they're starting to see gabriel now as full person, which can be difficult and even mindbending to accept in a divine being, but his kindness hasn't diminished in hell, his radiance shining through tarnished armor and still so warm in spite of a cold body. and they even find he can be a bit of a stubborn student, always wanting to do things how he thinks is best (and always slow to admit his mistakes) not humility an angel should have, but maybe he's always been imperfect. and maybe that's okay. they have lost their idol but perhaps, living as they all are now, it's more important to have a friend.

gabriel does notice the ferryman's lack of enthusiasm for their old hobbies though, even as v1 tries to encourage them by sculpting terrible little figures to show them. again the ferryman won't admit to anything, doesn't even want to articulate a single word michael said to them for all the pain it would cause them. because they are ashamed, ashamed of how they created and, at the same time, grieving how their comfort, their joy, has been stolen from them. they were proud in their works, they believed them to be the one good thing their hands could still produce, and now all they feel is utterly foolish for ever thinking so. when they continue to deny gabe and v1's attempts to get them to create again, gabriel finally decides to broach the topic himself. it's not hard to guess after all, not with the wounds the ferryman had come to their door with. it was michael. he asks about their art, their ship, and they say nothing. he knows that means it's gone - michael wouldn't let any of that survive, of course. gabriel's entire body tightens, knowing damn well what all of that meant to the ferryman and they have so little, the thought of it all burning into the sea sparks a fury in gabriel. yet he knows too his words, his comfort, mean very little next to michael's condemnations and his anger can offer nothing. so he apologizes to them, not just for what they lost but for having to endure the personal ugliness of heaven - michael is unwell, determined to cause unparalleled pain...but gabriel also can't lie. he can't tell them michael is twisting god's will - he's following it to the letter as he always has, and it's that will itself which is warped. but he can't say that all now. they're dealing with enough.

so gabriel instead tells them, for what it's worth, their art always brought him joy, and he knows v1 loves creating with them - in fact he knows they inspire it since it's created dozens of little clay renditions of each enemy its ever fought by now, as well as curious um....animals that it generates in its mind. and it never would have done so without learning from the ferryman. it doesn't mean they have to create again, it doesn't mean they need feel any pressure, but he just wants them to know their art was loved by someone, and gabriel is truly grieved it's gone. similarly, v1 starts sitting by their side while making its weird little clay creatures, always being sure it brings plenty of extra clay. just in case anyone ELSE wants to make something. and in spite of themselves, the ferryman feels an ounce of reprieve from their desolate thoughts, no longer feeling so isolated with gabriel's shared pain at their loss and charmed by v1's odd little homunculi. their art had touched others, even if it didn't touch god, and soon perhaps they take v1's quiet invitation to make something small again (gabriel knows immediately when it's happened too, since v1's strange tiny zoo seems to have a shepherd now)

#I AM MAYBE. FEELING A LOT. #now i really REALLY wanna draw v1 and the ferryman sculpting together #as well as their finished collab with v1's one dozen little freaks and the ferryman's perfect little shepherd #also hit hard by the ferryman's feelings bc i think every artist knows it to some extent #to have someone just really ruin your happiness in your work #but then when y o. whenr you frnends say they love ut thoguh UUDUGHGHHHH #anyways i went crazy writing this ok #cake answers #ferryman #fallen gabriel #v1