#we definitely are learning a lot

[gargelyfloof118]

Snow is deeper. Air is colder. Animals still need fed. Hubs and I bundled up and headed out.

Pro tip: if you didn't know before, please be advised that cloth masks are fantastic for keeping warm, humid air around your nose and mouth. I did not do this yesterday and was in a coughing/vomiting fit by the time I made it to the horse barn. It is SIGNIFICANTLY colder today. I put a mask on. I made it to the horses, fed them, and made it back to the house with barely any discomfort. So yeah, use a mask in cold weather.

Horses were fed and warmer blankets put on. (We add some hot water to their feed to soak it and give them some warm liquid for their bellies. They love feeding time!)

Seamus would like seconds, please.

The chickens water was frozen. Thankfully, I brought some hot water for them as well. I moved the waterer under the heat lamp and poured the hot water in the base. Hopefully, that helps for now. I'm planning on bringing a dish and some warm water later. But would like to research what would be best first.

The birds are quite happy to stay inside for the time being.

#homestead #farm #chicken coop #chicks chicks chicks #horse #horse barn #snow #snow 2024 #farm chores #im really hoping all my animals stay warm #this is the first winter #we definitely are learning a lot #trial by fire or.. snow.. #of course it had to be a rough one

[marsbotz]

no matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing, and you don't stop smiling, and you give those people what they want.

#I DONT POST NINJAGO HERE ANYMORE FOLLOW @LEGOGENDER #ninjago #cole brookstone #cole ninjago #be nice im still learning to paint LOL #if even one perspn can understnad this ill be amazed #sorry today we are going for the cole art drenched in personal interpretation #um. well first off hes trans. and i will say i think his entire s1 arc w his father feels very trans. if you dont understnad dont worry #but uhhh. i think a lot about how cole canonically still struggles with living up to expectations #despite making up with lou. and tbh honestly in my mind that didnt even happen #ive said before maybe but i Personally think the stronger arc for cole would have been having to make the choice to stay a ninja despite #his fathers disapproval. that maybe even tho lou disowns him it doesnt matter. bc the ninja r his real family now #bc honestly lou is so absent in the series it might as well ahve never happened LOL #but yeah in s11 is the obvious one. w the travellers tea #and again in s13 not being able to do the burst #feels a Lot like how he reacted in the royal blacksmith ep #i think lous expectations of cole and harsh treatment definitely cld have been the source of his issues. #and especially considering he says he had to do all the chores after his mothers death... makes his anxiety around being leader #(in early seasons) #a lot more sad. i think this was in books confirmed #um. yeah. i think abt cole. hes rlly interesting hope u understand now kinda #so yeah. and i used the bojack quote cus i think its similar in that cole was only young when lou installed these fears in him #'a song you taught me when i was small' and all that #altho i think the gina version fits jay also LOL #artsbotz

[nikoisme]

first year of latin and my favorite word is dormimus (meaning "we sleep"). it feels so "snork mimimimimimi". it'll be hard to top this word.

#latin is really neat so far. my interest in classics definitely helps with my learning speed :0 fun #but i still need to study regularly because holy fuck there's a lot of stuff #and we have latin only one year which is kinda sad. but oh well #niko rambles

[lemongrass77777]

I will never be over the fact that Lily Potter was the one who defeated Voldemort in 1981 and she was never given proper credit for it in canon. We barely even know anything about her and she was the one who defeated the snake faced bitch the first time around. It drives me insane. Lily deserved so much better than what the books ever gave her.

#genuinely #like Harry got him the second time it doesn’t finish his heroism to give Lily proper credit for taking him down in round 1 #after I was done reading book 5(my favorite of the seven books) #I assumed that we would learn a lot more about lily in the next two books #because she’s definitively a good person and she was the one who defeated Voldemort with her love magic #but no! #we barely hear anything about her from slughorn #and Snape #both two men! #we never hear from her female friends or her male friends who weren’t creeps #petunia only says the “you lost a mother but I lost a sister’’ line in a deleted movie scene #Lily is objectively more important to the story than James and we still know so much more about him #I’m not even lilys biggest fan #I think getting with your former friends bully/the person who SA’d them #is a bad thing #even if that former friend was a bigoted dipshit #and even then I’m still furious for her #harry potter #Lily potter #lily evans #marauders era #post

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

To Shape A Dragon’s Breath

YA fantasy

a young Indigenous girl finds & bonds with a dragon hatchling - the first time in many generations for her people - and is required to go to the coloniser’s dragon academy in their mainland city, to learn how to raise her dragon and the science of its magic

historical inspired setting on the cusp of industrial revolution with steampunk vibes

bi polyamorous MC, Black lesbian SC, nonverbal autistic SC

#To Shape A Dragon’s Breath #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is really really good i loved it! #the chapter titles are all like snippets of a story. or like sentence fragments that match up. which is cool #it is definitely more about being indigenous in a coloniser institution than Dragon School - not Super dragon heavy if you want that #I suspect the subsequent books will get into that when she gets big enough to ride and stuff #t’s also def YA! i’ve seen a few ppl assume it’s adult and be like its very young :( but like. I mean its perfectly reasonable for a 15yo m #definitely a Lot of racism and colonialism which is not fun to read! though it's still through a YA lens. there was def a part of me that #was imagining consequences of the narrative as if it were an adult novel #on that line of thought - at the end a lot of it is kind of solved by them going to the king and he's is like. oh no racism is happening? #that's bad i'll deal with those people! which felt like. a little simplistic. but maybe the easiest way to end the narrative for book 1 - #I don't think the author ACTUALLY is going to portray the king as a Good Guy throughout the series - it just felt conveniently like - #a simple YA solution to some very big and complex elements? if that makes sense? (but again - it is YA so it's allowed I suppose!) #some of the worldbuilding (like all the science learning) is probably setup for next books - we don’t really see any practical application #the romances are also subtle and not Overbearing In Book One which i like - leave some space for the series! #also her getting fanmail from a 10yo mixed race girl who looks up to her 🥺 #anyway. i really loved it! #oh also it reminded me a little of leviathan. i guess just the steampunk/time period/european culture.... #To Shape A Dragon's Breath

[puppyeared]

Atla live action 😐

#thats my honest reaction 😐 #to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid #like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat #or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already #good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive #to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil #i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better #but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because #it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak #and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but #come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and #makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality #i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was #IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys' #and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall #AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think #plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS #a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason #im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your #audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small #thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small #its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers #i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang #anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and #rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz #netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub #no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same #ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me #i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing #yapping

[thefirstknife]

I’ve always been a little confused about subclass preferences for Guardians. Are they first rez’d under a specific subclass (excluding the Darkness based ones)?

Stuff like do they know how to wield all of them? Do they teach themselves other subclasses? Do they shift between all of them? Are there Guardians that can only use one?

I just have so many questions about it.

It's somewhat complicated because before subclasses, there's also classes, which are kinda arbitrary. They're more like learned and preferred combat styles and some Lightbearers don't even abide by the class differences (like Drifter), let alone subclass. They're definitely not rezed as any, other than just having the potential for it.

But when it comes to subclasses, there's a little bit of information, like for example about solar:

For many Guardians, Solar Light is the easiest to wield and comprehend. Everyone understands the rejuvenating power of a sunbeam or the sharp burn of a flame.

This tells us that some of it is intrinsic. When you're rezed, you're capable of using these powers (solar, arc, void) and some come easier and more naturally than others. But these quests from Ikora also tell us that at the end of the day, these subclasses have to be learned. Any Lightbearer can understand the basics of subclasses, but to truly understand how to wield them in the way we know them, they have to be learned. They also change and adapt over time so they require constant practice.

We also know that some subclasses have largely stopped being in use (like Sunsinger for Warlocks and Bladedancer for Hunters) and that's because they stopped being taught/practiced. These combat styles technically still exist and we even got a mention of a current time Sunsinger existing, back in Haunted. This tells us that subclasses are more like schools of thought, rather than something a Guardian is born into. They have to choose to practice it, basically.

Outside of that, it's very individual. Some Guardians prefer only one subclass, some prefer multiple. Some change over time, some can use all of them whenever, but still have a preference. Subclasses are also far less strict in lore and Guardians have been shown to be able to swap near instantly between them without any of the gaming limitations that we have. Probably the best example would be Osiris in Immolant. In a single fight, in close succession he: wielded Dawnblade with two swords, extinguished one blade and formed a Nova bomb in its stead, used the second blade to dive and create a Well of Radiance, manages to cast Chaos Reach after being pinned down by Xivu.

So far, I don't think we've seen a Guardian that can only use one. Mostly just that they have preferences or are shown only using one, but there's nothing saying that they physically can't use anything else.

#destiny 2 #guardians #subclasses #ask #there's a lot of little details here and there about this #especially also with guardians who make their own little additions to the subclasses #like shaw han being able to use golden gun to empower allies with it. like some sort of golden gun version of well #and various stuff about certain subclasses being invented or at least perfected by specific guardians #like shin and golden gun or tevis and nightstalker tether #these things definitely evolve over time and have to be learned to use them as we know them to today

[crescentfool]

beaming everyone on the dashh with good brain day vibes!!! i hope that you all can remember to extend self-compassion to yourself whenever you're feeling down about something 💙

#lizzy speaks #the human brain works in such profound ways i think #lately i've been thinking about that post that was like 'you will always be your oldest friend take care of yourself' #it's definitely a sentiment i agree with and i appreciate how it emphasizes the importance of extending compassion to yourself #you wouldn't say such hurtful things to your friends right? (or at least i'd hope so) #so why would you say it to yourself? #you are your own friend too. and i think everyone has a beautiful soul within themselves. nurture it! water it! feed it good thoughts. #basically i wish everyone a 'i hope that your brain is not your own enemy but rather a friend that you can find comfort in' #things will work themselves out with time. there's beauty in life and you will find small delights to cherish!! i am manifesting it for u!! #and for those who find it difficult to transition from a self-critical mindset to one that's more compassionate and nonjudgmental #i truly think that with time you will be able to rewire your brain to be kinder to yourself. i'm proud of you for taking any first steps :) #there are times in which it feels counterintuitive to go against habits that feel hard-wired... but brains are very malleable littel guys- #with such a wonderful capacity for changing and learning new things. so i hope everyone can learn to be their own best friend! #not to undermine the importance of a support network ofc. that's good too and im all for that!! but i hope everyone remembers to be kind- #not only to others but also to themselves!! you're going to do great out there!! i love you all!! #ive just been thinking about this a lot... i needed to get it out there. you all shine so brightly!!! we shall be fine!!! have a good week! #sorry if this is out of nowhere but if there's anything about me you should know it's that i'm the 'hey dont cry 8 billion people on earth- #ok?' post. idk i just find great joy in knowing others are out there thriving and finding a daily delight yknow i love humanity!!

[transingthoseformers]

Oh, and a contributing factor on why Optimus as well will become hyper protective of the sparkling?

Orion canonically spent some of his formative years in the wilds of Cybertron. Now, he's mostly calmed down from his legitimately feral tendencies, but. There's certain experiences you don't forget when knowing more about nature than the average mech or human. He's likely exactly seen how brutally uncaring nature has with Cybertronian wildlife (which I do assume exists and at least some of it can sexually reproduce). Animals don't have morals when it comes to survival, and I've mentioned the correlation between reproductive strategies and offspring mortality rates in nature.

And, i mean, think about what we've established in the TFP au. Transformer (i use this term specifically for members of Cybertronus cybertronii) appear to have practically minuscule gestational periods as compared to their way longer lifespans, and the sparklings are born rather small and squishy, only developing defining traits such as hardened armor pigments and more kibble later on. Small and squishy is cute, yes, but doesn't tend to fly in nature well.

#tfp au #transformers #maccadam #tfp optimus prime #tfp orion pax #cybertronian biology #also for the fact that Optimus is a mech that feels very keenly #this increase in protective behavior most probably will extend to the human kids lol. which... actually won't be kids much longer #at this point in the timeline Jack is probably an adult already #Miko is still probably as curious and bold as we know she is but she's definitely more mature now #Raph is quickly becoming more knowledgeable in what he's seen about Cybertronian culture and wants to learn more #we're watching the human kids grow up and witness an event that quite a lot of mecha don't see in their entire functioning #they're watching the most damn wholesome way a long war could've ended #you know what they say... it takes a village to raise a child. Miko_ Jack_ Raf_ Fowler_ and June have joined the metaphorical village.

[oldtestleper]

big spoilers for new info as of tonight's episode but eye am soooooooo curious about the extent to which galicaea is still opposed to cassandra in some way. obviously in her high elven form she was trying to get kristen as a follower rather than have her continue to investigate the nightmare king and find cassandra, like she was NOT trying to put her thumb on the scale in that way. and from the sound of it she and sol basically respectively absorbed/dissolved the domains that once belonged to cassandra and ankarna through numerous calculated efforts of their clerics and evangelists, with sol and helio acquiring exclusive association with the sun and summer, and galicaea acquiring exclusive worship of the wood elves and becoming a goddess defined by certainty and eternity, driving away doubt. so is galicaea still playing the game even after being "restored" by wolfsong, trying to keep rage and doubt out of the world that is so well set up for her. was she ever really restored or was it doomed to be a cosmetic overhaul after the high elves got behind it again. like how christian fundamentalists dress like hipsters and open really trendy and successful coffee shops

#crazy plot twist the big bad this season is NOT capitalism! it is imperialism and religious fundamentalism #.txt #d20 spoilers #d20 #also lets be clear i definitely don't think galicaea's being like played or piggybacked by sol i think they go hand in hand #like i think sol stood the most to gain directly by destroying ankarna as the only other major sun diety. we haven't heard of other dieties #of night/the moon so much. darkness yes mystery etc sure but not those specific domains. so sol surely had a lot to gain out of this. #but i think she elevates herself by elevating her husband & their union as sun and moon. when the sun shines brighter so too does the moon! #anyway i think perhaps what we learn from this episode (besides the obvious) #is that the 'corrupted' versions of the gods don't disappear so easily. obviously ankarna is still surviving in some form. #the nightmare king is still an aspect of cassandra. galicaea's wolf aspect is still tempered and her sylvan aspect is elevated over it #also interesting that the form of cassandra that was defined by betrayal from her sister is associated with mirrors lol. #presumably galicaea changed a lot after her marriage to sol. and then she had cassandra and her partner wiped from knowledge. so. #also crazy to think about how old the worship of these gods are and how recent the supremacy of sol/galicaea is. #when kristen died during the cataclysm that created the nightmare king her bones were 850 years old. #the menhir commemorating cassandra's marriage is 3000 years old. AND obviously that was a place that was sacred to the pantheon if they hel #a wedding there. AND galicaea drove the evidence of that literally into the ground and claimed it as a place of exclusive worship. #AND on a historical scale that happened like two weeks ago. #just saying im not surprised the nightmare king is back. and if i were galicaea i'd be terrified of rage and doubt as well. #dimension 20

[traitorsinsalem]

i sound like the youngest boomer on earth whenever i say this but it really was a mistake for baby gays to learn about the term fruit. idk what it is about the internet that makes kids see a derogatory term for a marginalized group they’re part of, or even just adjacent to, which they’ve never been targeted with and decide it’s just their new Special Inside Joke Swear Word. some 16 y/o online calling a picture of a celebrity wearing a gaudy sweater fruity or faggy isn’t “reclamation” it’s just parroting homophobia and not funny in the slightest.

speaking among onesself or close friends is one thing but when it gets to the point (and it has) where people are calling real life people they barely (or don’t) know homophobic terms, it doesn’t matter if the person saying it is gay or not.

#succ speaks #also i thought people were only like this online but being at a lac. people really just do this to people they know irl. #like they actually just say things. having to listen to a girl call ross gay 'fruity' in a poetry class and then like a week later... #...a guy who i was kinda friends with but also hung out with a total of like 5 times decided yeah sure i can call the group chat faggots #just......wow. people really live like this. and not even 8th grade gsa attendees who are still learning. young adults in the workforce. #i also think this sort of faux solidarity is why this same demographic desperately tries to express personal parallels to experiences... #...they have never gone through and/or cannot possibly go through. something about slowly losing the ability to listen and needing to talk. #<- also sorry to sound like a psych major but egocentric approaches to social media has done irreversible damage to so many young ppl... #...but at the same time we (young ppl on social media) are to blame because social media platforms are egocentric by design. #being invested in onesself isn't a cause of shitheadedry but a lot of people have really just gotten so dismissive of others it's insane. #also idk pretend i made a solid link between this and The Lost Art Of The Sincere Apology And Taking Accountability #this is just me parroting a convo i had w some friends at lunch 2day btw. posting it online bc someone probably needs to see this. #<- AS IN. ppl have definitely thought the same thing and need to see it articulated not that someone needs to feel called out by it #feeling called out by this would be like. a personal problem to sort out

[ct-hardcase]

because twitter's seen it already, I feel the need to share that keeve made a habit of resting her hand on terec's shoulder when either needed support

(IDs in alt)

#tagging #terekeeve #because I kind of want to get this ship tag rolling #also I want to disclaim that the art team does draw casual touch a lot but keeve does this specific mannerism a few times #and usually the touch is in distress or danger. in the first two keeve leaves her hand on their shoulder even after it's not immediate #there's other stuff like keeve and terec partnering up on later missions and them being the first of the twins she recognizes correctly #(and if I'm interpreting it right she could've joked that she learned to recognize them from behind but it could also be their voice/manner #(unclear due to Keeve getting cut off) #'we're enough. we were always enough' #anyway I don't think Cavan is making them canon but I definitely think he's setting up a close companionship between the two. #as good jedi and all #damn shame orla died though bc I would've paid to see keeve drop some innuendo about terec to her as revenge for the sskeer moment #star dorks #r: terekeeve

[zeussim]

Because of a depressive episode I've had for the past <6 months, I didn't write my bachelor project because I simply couldn't. Every day was just me staying alive. I've barely done anything but stay alive, trying to feed myself while having no energy or desire to do so. Less than a month ago, however, my brother contacted me and helped me write my supervisor, and now I've written the contract and am working on it in the 5th block (I have my semesters divided in half called blocks). The deadline is 11th of August. And it's going really well so far. My supervisor is the sweetest person and has helped me a lot with all the bureaucracy stuff and such! Only now do I realise how bad I've been feeling for these past months, and how I don't need to feel that way. Everything will work out.

#these posts always make me realise smth more about myself #this is why it's important to put feelings into text so i can come to new realisations about myself #btw im writing about communication of biodiversity in popular science #even tho im on a biology bachelor bc a) bachelor is only 15 ects b) i feel its important for scientists to learn how to communicate #their findings to the general public and this will make me better at communicating when i become a scientist #scientists within humaniora are waaay better at communicating to the public than natural scientists and I think thats a shamr #bc it leads to a lot of misunderstandings and simplifications of the issues we face #so i am analysing how popular science communictates compared to the SCIENTIFIC definition of biodiversity #also to understand how the communication of scientists lack #so i can become a scientist who communicates her findings instead of a journalist misunderstanding and framing it a particular way #nonsims #tw depression

[lecliss]

Sakura gets a second point for being the first to complete the tree climbing at being better at chakra control, but at the same time it just feels like she was made good at it so no extra training segment time would have to be put into her getting good at it and it can be all about Sauce and Nart. Idk that feels too pessimistic but also could totally be true.

#she takes on a very 'obsever' role. like kashi is the teacher watching over them. but sock is the watching and commenting from the same #perspective of nart and sauce and also the viewer unlike kashi. cuz he provides a lot of exposition and whatnot in his inner monolgues #and its like. of course the girl is just the observer who watches alongside us as the two main boys grow and develop #AND I DONT WANNA FUCKIN BE PESSIMISTIC ABOUT THIS BUT GOD ITS IMPOSSIBLE!!!! #but her whole character so far is 'i hate the class clown. im book smart. i diet and im in love' #and the way i see it is. 12yo girl TRYING to fit into the femininity she sees in the world around her so she forces herself to be like this #but she has inner sock who speaks what she really feels showing that she puts on quite a front and isnt really much like that at all #and you expect her to grow into wanting her to truly define herself. and she does with getting stronger and training under tsunade and #learning medical ninjutsu so she really finds a spot for herself. she does!!! but then she KEEPS hanging onto the love nonsense #and admittedly there are moments that push a very obvious trope of thinking she likes sauce cuz hes cool but finding out that the real 'gem' #is nart so i definitely understand where n@rus@kus are coming from #but then she just STICKS with sauce until its the worst ship possible and its an utter mess of 'ill never give up on him' #EVEB DESPITE HIM TRYING TO KILL HER!!! THEN THAT FUCKING WORKS OUT!?!?!? #AND TOO THIS DAY SAUCE STILL NEVER COMES OFF LIKE HE ACTUALLY LOVES HER #IM SORRY BUT ITS TRUE. SARD WE ARE GETTING YOU BETTER PARENTS. ON GOD!!!!! #so she just hangs on to this one little thing that she SHOULD have gotten development for to move on from BUT IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS #so its like half her development never fucking happens and thats why it #s such a fuckinf mess!!!!! #i fucking hate this show. i need to go back to watching mike's dino game vod. what am i doing here????? #i did this to myself btw. i didnt need to start yelling about that but thats just how it is with nart #start thinking about something good and then it reminds you of something related thats bad and now its like. yeah this shit sucks #remember when kishi said he regretted not making hina the heroine???? we could have lived in a better timeline. #but if i say that i will get assassinated #anyway. #sock count #personal

[disdaidal]

So, I met my nurse today and she said I'm finally getting scheduled for the ADHD testing on Dec 18th—after all these years. Albeit she said that it may not change a thing, but it's good to test it anyway.

I also had a discussion with my teacher today about my problems and we went through some stuff, and I might feel a little bit more enlightened about some things, which will hopefully help me.

Still. I'm having trouble with planning some stuff at my workplace because the staff there simply doesn't have time, and my instructor is also a very busy person (plus she's fussy and impatient and a little upset/disappointed with me which is not making it any easier for me), so that is still giving me a lot of stress right now.

So, I don't know. On the other hand, one teacher says I'm doing a good job and that I shouldn't quit. Then again, this particular school and their style of teaching simply might not be the thing for me and I expressed that concern today as well. I need help getting through with some stuff and nobody has time for me, so it's obviously not good.

I also need to find another place to train soon and that workplace would have to be something where I wouldn't have to manage 15 things at the same time and well. Finding that could be a challenge, too.

But. I suppose we're going somewhere.

#personal #last week i cried twice after a workday #and my nurse also mentioned today that i still have a learning disability which will definitely make things harder for me #but also that there's nothing that can be done about it so... great #so i mentioned this to my teacher and she wrote it down but #basically there are only two choices for me now #either i pass this training somehow and plan my displays at my current workplace so well that i never have to do this again #or i will only complete my training for this period and then find another workplace and do my displays there #i can't postpone them much later apparently or so i understood. so they are not giving a lot of choices there really #and we did talk about me considering another school as well #where i can spend more time in the classroom actually learning things and less time working and trying to study at the same time #because this clearly isn't working for me. i can't do two things at the same time. not well at least. and i want to do well #but i tried applying for that kind of school in this field last summer. i didn't get in & i was 8th in line #i would've gotten in working with kids instead. but that school was further away and i probably would've found it even more stressful #than what i'm doing now #so i don't know. this is so fucking stressful for me honestly #like i like what i'm doing but i also really hate what i'm doing because this also requires stuff from me that i am simply not good at #and i'd have to put extra energy into it but i don't have much energy in me right now tbh #ugh