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#basically there are only two choices for me now
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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 重啟之極海聽雷/Reunion: The Sound of the Providence/The Lost Tomb Reboot/this thing has too many names
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Reunion (I'm just going to call it that) is a 2020 action drama about the most specialest little babygirl in the tomb-raiding world, his two husbands, and the cadre of assorted weirdos they pick up as they try to follow a set of directions left by a dead (?) man in the thunder.
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Imagine if someone showed you the Mandalorian, and you were like, gee, that was a neat little sci-fi one-shot! because you'd never heard of Star Wars. That was basically my experience watching this show, having no idea that the Lost Tomb franchise (DMBJ) was even a thing. Turns out that not only is there a whole big continuity out there with these characters, but that Reunion takes place a few years after the main story's resolution. Don't worry, though -- Reunion doesn't spoil you for that resolution. It doesn't spoil you for much, period. Look, DMBJ has a weird relationship to endings, okay?
I have written a more thorough where-to-start guide for DMBJ as a whole, so if you want to consider other entry points, well, that information is there for your consideration. Yet it is my opinion that this is the best entry into the overall franchise, and a fun thing to watch just in general, and I'm here to make my case for both of those.
The rest of this rec will assume that you have no familiarity with the DMBJ series. That's okay; you don't need any. All you need is to trust my five reasons you should watch this.
1. Old Man Yaoi
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As you begin this show, you are introduced to the Iron Triangle. That's them in the picture up there. Left to right, you have: Xiao Ge, magically tattooed immortal hottie who just got back from ten years in [scene missing]; Wu Xie, our protagonist, who's just a little guy and it's his birthday; and Wang Pangzi, the literal best.
(And yes, Wu Xie is in his 30s and Pangzi is in his 40s, which is not technically old man anything, but ... look, if you watch, you'll see why I think I'm justified in calling it that.)
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They are extremely married. They are a disaster trio of disasters so disastrous that no one else should ever be subjected to their chaos. They're going to make sure lots of people are, though, don't you worry about it. Sometimes those people even deserve it.
However, because the show (tragically!!) decides that Xiao Ge has somewhere else to be like 95% of the runtime, most of the relationship you get to see is between Wu Xie and Pangzi.
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I'm saying this now as an old gay nerd who just this year celebrated her 15th wedding anniversary: I have never, never felt so represented in media as I have watching Wu Xie and Pangzi interact. There's a little wake-up song they sing together near the end of the show, and it just ... it packs so much character development into thirty seconds. These boys have been living adjacent lives for so long that they've made up their own little shared songs about the mundanities of daily living. That is just what happens when you marry your best friend and then decide to get old and weird together. Ask me how I know.
Look, if you want to know whether this show is for you or not, watch to the end of the first episode, to the part where Pangzi flips over the table. If your heart is filled with joy (as it should be), keep going.
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Love makes a tomb-raiding syndicate family.
2. A fun-filled action-packed romp of nonsense!
If you're familiar with Hellblazer canon, this will make sense to you: Reunion is Dangerous Habits. If you're not familiar with Hellblazer canon, try it like this: Reunion is a terrible place to start because it plays on your extant affection for a character who gains a terrible status effect almost immediately. It's a also great place to start because it throws you right in the action with measurably high stakes and gives you a reason to build that affection very quickly.
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I'm also going to warn you right off the bat: The plot of this show got cut to ribbons by censors.
See, the DMBJ books, being books, are allowed to get away with supernatural shit! So you've got zombies and ghosts and curses and monsters and immortality and all your other standard ooky spooky semi-urban fantasy trappings. But the DMBJ adaptations, being live-action, are heavily regulated in their content. This is why, in the early Reunion episodes, our heroes are menaced by human-looking creatures that are actually ancient mannequins made of leather that are piloted, mecha-style, by evil clams. Because evil clams are more scientific than zombies. I guess.
So yeah, the plot of this book already had to get mangled into a more "science"-compliant shape even before it made it to filming. The real problem is that a whole lot more of it got cut after it was all filmed and put together. I have read an explanation of what the actual storyline was supposed to be, and yeah, if you know what you’re looking at, you can see (and hear) the scars where major elements got hacked out with a weed whacker.
Therefore: You cannot expect this plot to make sense.
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But that's okay! You're not here for the plot to make sense! You're here to watch some characters you love run around through ridiculous and sometimes beautiful labyrinths, trying to solve puzzles you're never given enough information to understand, all in search of the resolution to a mystery that had half its guts torn out before you got to see it -- and you are here to love it. If you have ever laughed and cheered your way through a Mission: Impossible film without pausing to care too much about the plot holes it’s dodging left and right, you are in the correct frame of mind to appreciate this. Just believe that whatever engaging nonsense the show tells you is correct for the time being and go with it.
You cannot watch DMBJ and care about the laws of physics. You simply cannot.
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Do not, however, let me give you the impression that the shoddy plotting is accompanied by equally shoddy performances. A major part of this show’s incredible watchability comes from how the cast is shockingly good. There are some serious heavy hitters among the actors. A major part of why this Wu Xie and Pangzi are my favorite together is the incredible chops both Zhu Yilong and Chen Minghao have, to say nothing of their real-life affection for one another. (See that scar on Wu Xie's neck? That scar is there because Zhu Yilong commits to the bit.) Effortlessly charming Mao Xiaotong turns potentially irritating wunderkind Bai Haotian into a perfect precious weirdo baby. Wu Erbai's entire second-season character arc could have been unintentionally comedic, but veteran of queer cinema Hu Jun sells even the undignified moments as relentlessly tragic. And of course Baron Chen absolutely kills it with...
3. This giant fucking loser
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This is Hei Xiazi. That's not his name, but it's close enough. Allow me to do a dramatic reenactment of my watching his first scene:
[camera pans over to him]
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me: Ugh, I recognize this kind of wannabe badass character design. I hate his type. He's self-important, hyper-masculine, and just a big jerk, and the show thinks he's soooo cool. Barf.
[thirty seconds later]
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me: Oh no. I was so wrong. I love him forever now.
This is because he is (as indicated above) a giant fucking loser. Yes, he's a good fighter who knows lots of things. He's also a wet potato chip of a man. Sure, he can get you into a headlock, but he can also annoy you into submission, and that's honestly more fun for him. My wife has used the phrase “Vash the Stampede-coded” to describe him. My wife is not wrong.
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And the kind of ridiculous thing is, being such a loser is what wraps back around to making him cool again. He's a loser because he just doesn't fucking care. His masculinity is the opposite of fragile. You tell him to wear a dress and makeup, he'll do it -- and sure, he'll complain, but only because he enjoys complaining. He has no dignity. He’s tits-out. He's gender. He's the worst and also the best.
Hei Xiazi is a major character in the other installations, to the point where he and his boyfriend (more on him later) even have their own movie. But of course, I did not know this on my first watch, so I kept expecting the show to explain his whole deal. It does not, but you don't really need it to. He sees better in the dark. He doesn't age. He's a thug for hire. There, that's all the bio you need.
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One of the things that makes him great is that he is the least sexually threatening person ever. Across all the properties he's in, he spends a fair amount of time with women -- sometimes in very close quarters -- and they are perfectly safe around him. I actually wrote a whole post about it once upon a time (warning for tiny spoilers for a series that isn't this one) wherein I claim that not only Xiazi but Reunion in general is the television equivalent of the shirt that says I RESPECT WOMEN SO MUCH I DON'T HAVE SEX WITH THEM.
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That said, this loser does get a sort-of romance plot here -- and honestly, I find it very cute! It's not even the only instance in this series of a bisexual guy in a long-term same-sex relationship getting a girlfriend, and I like that other one too! Look, the handle of my DMBJ sideblog is @katamaricule because I joked that Wu Xie treats polyamory like a katamari, and if you don't move fast enough, you're going to be rolled right up into his gay little cuddle puddle.
This is not a show for exclusive ships; this is a show for inclusive ships. The Jiumen Association is a polycule. You don't even have to know what the Jiumen Association is to know it's true.
4. The power of friendship
This show has a lot of characters.
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I'd say the supporting cast is divided into three categories: characters who have been in previous installments, characters who have not been in previous installments, and characters who probably should have been in previous installments (or at least mentioned) but who were only created for Reunion so we have to pretend like we've known about them all along.
There is no way to tell which is which -- which is part of my argument that this series makes a good entry point to the franchise.
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Take Huo Daofu. Huo Daofu is a brilliant doctor masquerading as a donut stand operator who treats Wu Xie with all the cold disdain of a man confronting the person who left him at the altar years ago. On the one hand, yes! We do know Huo Daofu from a previous series, and we've known he's both a doctor and a bitch. On the other hand, oh, we have no idea why he's like this about Wu Xie, and we probably never will. The show just treats it like it's for an excellent reason, and you know what, from what you know about Wu Xie, it probably is.
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Consider also Jiang Zisuan. One of the show's principal antagonists, Jiang Zisuan turns out to be the brother of ... well, let's just say it's someone whose having a brother really should have come up before this. It has not come up. (And that's even before we get into the issue of his surname.) His stated identity as that person's brother is so bizarre that my favorite interpretation is that he isn't actually that person's brother -- all the flashbacks we see are just his delusions about a relationship he's completely invented. But there's no way you'd know how fucking weird this is on your first run.
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Then there's our friendly little support himbo, Kanjian, who shows up to all occasions with two tickets to the gun show and not a thought in that beautiful head. (His name just means "vest," which is par for the course when it comes to the author's naming conventions.) He was a lot more menacing in the last series (where they kept putting sleeves on him, geez), where most of what we learned about him is that you can loan him out to other tomb-raiding families. Now he's a golden retriever with great aim and a slingshot. It's an upgrade.
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The trick is, you cannot be surprised when someone shows up and the show treats them like you should know who they are, even when there's no possible way you could know who they are. I mean, for heaven's sake, Liu Sang arrives in the middle of an obvious beef with Pangzi, the origins of which are never satisfactorily explained, while also having a giant do-I-want-to-fuck-him-or-do-I-want-to-be-him crush on Xiao Ge, which is also never satisfactorily explained. Whatever, you just roll with it. He's got good hearing, a bad attitude, and questionable taste in idols. Now you're good to go.
(I should throw in a special note here that Liu Sang is many, many people's little meow meow, and not undeservedly. For a fuller explanation of why that is, please consult this other post I made.)
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Part of the fun of this big cast is the adorable interactions you get. All the characters have appropriately big personalities, and the show loves letting people you wouldn’t expect bounce off one another. It’s not your typical action-hero show where nothing happens without the protagonist in the room. There are lots of exciting combinations and tons of charming dynamics! Unlikely friendships form all over the place! Enemies become allies! Allies become friends! Friends become friends with other friends! Some friends become enemies again! You'll need a scoreboard to keep up!
This is not to say the show treats all its characters perfectly or equally -- one of the precious few main female characters doesn't even get a real name, for heaven's sake, and the less said about the brownface racism, the better. It is, at its heart, a dude show for dudes made in China, with all the troubling decision-making that implies. Where it does deserve credit, though, is in understanding that its supporting characters are actual people with personalities apart from their function in Wu Xie's narrative. Sometimes the show just asks "what if [random character A] and [random character B] had to interact?" and has fun considering the answer! Which is almost always a delight to watch, and sometimes even breaks your heart.
5. Amazing rewatch value!
And by this I mean the experience of watching this show is remarkably different once you have any understanding of the rest of the DMBJ universe.
For instance, there's a point where two characters are scuba-diving past some submerged coffins, and one character tells the other whose coffins they are. Working only on information Reunion has given you, you're like, oh, that's where they buried the guy who built this creepy place, that's a little weird. Once you recognize that name from other series, though, your reaction is far more, excuse me, they did WHAT to WHOSE corpses?
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Or another point where a character you've already met is on a train, and there's a handsome gentleman who just happens to be riding with her. He hands her his business card! Aw, that's sweet, he seems like a nice guy! Well, no, Xie Yuchen is not nice, but he is one of our allies, and he's Hei Xiazi's boyfriend, and a lot of what he's doing hits real different when you have a fuller grasp on why he's doing it and for whom. (Honestly, a major reason to watch Reunion first is so you're not fully and appropriately upset by how your black/pink gays merely have one teeny tiny scene together.)
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From the way the series treats the persistent absence of Wu Sanxing, Wu Xie's third uncle, I absolutely, 100% assumed that he was a completely new character to this installment of the series, an extremely long-lost relative that we've somehow conveniently managed to never talk about before now. So imagine my gobsmacked surprise when I went to watch a different series, set much earlier in the timeline, where the opening scene prominently features Wu Sanxing as an actual character in the present-day narrative! ...Well, sorta. Look, there's a lot of fuckery with his identity in earlier parts of the story, and fortunately you need to know none of it to understand Reunion. But when you do, it suddenly makes a lot more sense why Wu Xie talks about someone who was a major part of Wu Xie's adult life like he died when Wu Xie was nine.
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AND THE FLASHBACK SCENE WHERE A-NING GETS KILLED BY THE SNAKE, AND YOU'RE LIKE, OKAY, AND THEN YOU WATCH ULTIMATE NOTE AND IT WASN'T LIKE THAT AT ALL look, I know there are kinda reasons for this, different production companies and all, but seriously, what the fuck
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All of which to say is that the experience of watching Reunion the first time is, hey, this self-contained romp is a lot of fun! The experience of rewatching it after watching any of the other DMBJ installments is a transcendently wonderful head-clutching avalanche of one moment of recognition right after another.
And here's the thing: You will watch more. Reunion is a gateway drug. If you are interested enough to make it through all 62 episodes, you're going to be interested in watching more. Which is great. The English-speaking fandom needs more people. Come down into the tombs. It's great down here. We've got snakes and arguably unintentional homoeroticism. Join us. Join usssssssss
Are you ready for an aventure?
There are a couple different ways to watch the first half, but there's (weirdly) only one way to watch the second, so for both of them, I'm going to send you straight to iQiyi: Season 1 (32 episodes) and Season 2 (30 episodes).
And just so you’re ready when Reunion is done, here’s how you find the rest of the DMBJ series, in the absolutely non-chronological order in which I, personally, think you should watch them:
The Lost Tomb 2 (AsianCrush, YouTube)
Ultimate Note (iQiyi)
The Mystic Nine (iQiyi, Viki)
Sand Sea/Tomb of the Sea (Viki, WeTV, YouTube, also YouTube)
Also, there's a lot of movies and side series and other pieces that are worth seeing, and even a couple of full series I've left off the list, and you can just slot them in wherever. And maybe we'll get Tibetan Sea Flower someday? Look, hope springs eternal.
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They're so perfect. Perfect triangle. Perfect boys.
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greenconvor · 1 day
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So it’s really been bothering me that Hunter’s reaction to Omega turning herself over to the Empire was almost nonexistent. Like, sure I get it could have just been writer’s choice to focus on the overall plot, but the same writers have gone out of their way to show how passionate Hunter is about keeping Omega safe and how much it effected him when she was captured at the end of season two. SO, I got an idea:
What if Omega surrendering during the invasion was always the plan?
Okay, hear me out. Omega has been very vocal about her desire to go back to Tantiss even before they’d actually escaped. Leaving the other prisoners behind never even crossed her mind. On the other hand, Crosshair has done everything he can to ignore anything remotely related to Tantiss except Omega. Hence why he won’t address the real reason behind his hand tremor.
Now consider: Omega is wracked with guilt/determination, finding it more difficult each day (especially as she sees the extent of Crosshair’s trauma) to sit back and do nothing while there are still so many clones stuck in that awful prison undergoing who knows what torture. So she goes to Hunter, resolved to do Something. Except, there’s nothing they can do until they get the base’s coordinates. Which Hunter and Wrecker already know is nearly impossible since they’ve been trying since Omega was kidnapped in s2.
THEN it becomes apparent that Crosshair isn’t telling them everything. They try to talk to him repeatedly, but nothing is working. He’s locked up tight. So someone (probably Omega) comes up with a plan.
If Omega, the only person Crosshair feels has never abandoned him as well as the one he’s the most protective of now, is taken back to Tantiss then Crosshair will have to reveal what he knows in order to rescue her.
It’s kinda mean and manipulative and very dangerous, but it’s the only feasible plan they’ve got. And as Omega says to Crosshair before she turns herself over: they need to focus on the bigger mission and they, as individuals, are only a small part of it. Omega clearly knows this and as bad as she may feel for forcing Crosshair to return, she knows they HAVE to save the imprisoned clones. It’s a matter of life and death.
And because Omega is Hunter’s weak spot (he will literally do anything for her since she’s basically his child— which makes his sudden lack of reaction even weirder) he agrees.
So Hunter approaches Cid, convincing her to tip off her Imperial informant either out of guilt or monetary incentive. Cid’s info leads CX-2 to Phee who leads him to Pabu. Then all they have to do is get Omega in a position where she seems to have no choice but surrender. It’s not hard to predict, the Empire’s done all this before.
THIS is why neither Hunter or Wrecker are losing it like everyone thought they would. It’s why they’re not blaming Crosshair or running themselves ragged or burning down the galaxy to find her. It’s why Omega is so calm even though she’s back to square one in Hemlock’s ‘care’. It’s why Crosshair seems to be the one most effected by her loss. The others knew what was going to happen; they were prepared. They trust Omega implicitly, knowing that she can keep herself safe until Crosshair leads them to Tantiss. In return, Omega trusts that they will find her. She trusts that Crosshair won’t leave her behind.
I know this is highly unlikely to become canon, but I think it would make all their seemingly uncharacteristic behavior actually very in character without the vague explanation: Writer’s Choice. Either way, that’s my headcanon and I’m sticking to it!
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disdaidal · 5 months
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So, I met my nurse today and she said I'm finally getting scheduled for the ADHD testing on Dec 18th—after all these years. Albeit she said that it may not change a thing, but it's good to test it anyway.
I also had a discussion with my teacher today about my problems and we went through some stuff, and I might feel a little bit more enlightened about some things, which will hopefully help me.
Still. I'm having trouble with planning some stuff at my workplace because the staff there simply doesn't have time, and my instructor is also a very busy person (plus she's fussy and impatient and a little upset/disappointed with me which is not making it any easier for me), so that is still giving me a lot of stress right now.
So, I don't know. On the other hand, one teacher says I'm doing a good job and that I shouldn't quit. Then again, this particular school and their style of teaching simply might not be the thing for me and I expressed that concern today as well. I need help getting through with some stuff and nobody has time for me, so it's obviously not good.
I also need to find another place to train soon and that workplace would have to be something where I wouldn't have to manage 15 things at the same time and well. Finding that could be a challenge, too.
But. I suppose we're going somewhere.
#personal#last week i cried twice after a workday#and my nurse also mentioned today that i still have a learning disability which will definitely make things harder for me#but also that there's nothing that can be done about it so... great#so i mentioned this to my teacher and she wrote it down but#basically there are only two choices for me now#either i pass this training somehow and plan my displays at my current workplace so well that i never have to do this again#or i will only complete my training for this period and then find another workplace and do my displays there#i can't postpone them much later apparently or so i understood. so they are not giving a lot of choices there really#and we did talk about me considering another school as well#where i can spend more time in the classroom actually learning things and less time working and trying to study at the same time#because this clearly isn't working for me. i can't do two things at the same time. not well at least. and i want to do well#but i tried applying for that kind of school in this field last summer. i didn't get in & i was 8th in line#i would've gotten in working with kids instead. but that school was further away and i probably would've found it even more stressful#than what i'm doing now#so i don't know. this is so fucking stressful for me honestly#like i like what i'm doing but i also really hate what i'm doing because this also requires stuff from me that i am simply not good at#and i'd have to put extra energy into it but i don't have much energy in me right now tbh#ugh
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moeblob · 2 months
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Karen: LMAO every guy I meet reminds me of my big brothers that's so funny except if Paul is already my brother and you're also a brother that's a bit awkward, huh Hot bartender: THATS MOVING REALLY FAST AND I LIKE YOU AS A PERSON BUT - Karen: having my brothers date would be SO WEIRD Hot bartender: Well on the bright side I literally cannot speak more than five words to him so we aren't dating because he's so cute
(Everyone else: that is somehow the most depressing bright side we never want to hear)
#my characters#oops i fell in love#I just think its really funny how i view so many of the cast as either the only child or#somehow still the only child but with twin cousins that he grew up with somewhat like siblings but is older than them#and then THESE TWO LOSERS (beloveds) are definitely younger siblings#there is no way Karen developed her personality without the help of older brothers#there is also a very funny and agonizing thing where she is super single cause she can't view a guy as more than a brother#she meets an asshole and is like wow just getting huge brother vibes from him wtf#and meets the nicest man possible and is like HOW IS HE ALSO LIKE A BROTHER I WILL NEVER LOVE ROMANTICALLY#and she has all of the guy friends and its very clear if they were interested she has long since friendzoned them#but its fine because they all are also convinced that shes exactly what it would be like to have a brother#so its fine its all good no one really agonizes over not romancing her and she just as a found family in everyone#hi my name is salmon and you may recall my feheroes experience where i want to give a certain male all of the siblings#the sibling adopter extraordinaire ? yeah thats basically karen now that i think about it#you know one time at work at my first job there was a girl who had a crush on a guy and we all worked the same shift a lot#and one day she was whining because he was so friendly to me and he looks at the girl straight faced and says#ITS BROS BEFORE HOES aint that right and im like uh huh sure thats exactly right#and later i told him i really wanted to know where she went wrong because i had a crush on him in school until he opened his mouth#and hes like yeah sucks to wanna date me you made the right choice#and i just ..... will never forget that weird guy#he saw me in a hoodie once and goes NO WAY I HAVE THE SAME ONE and then makes sure he brings it in next time we work together to prove it#he was like an annoying younger brother to me and i thought it was very funny that apparently i too am a sibling to him#i might be adopted and i might be biased but i think everyone could use an adopted sibling that they dont live with#thats a special bond ok im just sayin#also sorry its so late tonight i had some uhhhhhh problems haha
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thinking just a bit too hard about how the added depth given to tifa and aerith's friendship only increases the weight threatening to crush tifa after the forgotten capital, she already had so much to carry on her weary shoulders, she's going to have to carry even more when mideel happens, and it doesn't even stop after meteorfall, ohg od oh i love her so much i
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#(sobbing and crying and snotting everywhere) AERITH GAVE HER SOMEONE TO CONFIDE IN ON SUCH A TUMULTUOUS JOURNEY#SOMEONE SHE COULD BE AS CLOSE TO FULLY RELAXED AS POSSIBLE#SOMEONE TO GOSSIP WITH OR SHARE HER CONCERNS OR JUST. BE A NORMAL GIRL WITH#YUFFIE'S THERE BUT SHE'S JUST A KID AND TIFA WOULD NEVER WANT TO HARM THE AIR OF CAREFREE CHILDISHNESS SHE MANAGES TO MAINTAIN EVEN IF#ITS BECAUSE YUFFIE IS HIDING THINGS THAT ARE CRUSHING HER#but poor tifa . gentle tifa. is now left to regret. to blame herself.#she has barret who acts like a father figure to her sure - but despite how much she cares about him and values her frienship with him#he's not aerith. he's not someone she can just gossip about first loves with. not someone she can fully Relate to. if you get what i mean#she is left to trace back the thread of how poor aerith got caught in this mess#she was the one to ask aerith to save marlene. but how did they get there? aerith refused to let cloud be a bystander in wall market#how did that happen? she made a risky choice that put her in a position where their paths crossed. why? because cloud was briefly lost#during the bombing mission. why did the bombing mission happen? she couldn't stop it. ETC ETC#NONE OF IT WAS HER FAULT... BUT SHE NEVER WANTED TO DRAG INNOCENT PEOPLE INTO THIS AT ANY SINGLE POINT#AND NOW SOMEONE WHO QUICKLY BECAME A CLOSE FRIEND IS GONE oh lord my heart#all of this added onto the things like how alone she was in nibelheim... it was just her and her dad for some years after the boys all left#and then the Incident happens and she loses that last person she had... and to an extent another she didn't even know was right there(cloud#god i could talk about her and how she has suffered more than jesus for ages (happy easter. lmao)#FF7 Rebirth spoilers#just in case?? for anyone who's only playing the remakes i guess. since this was basically already there the remakes just elaborate on it#i think about 'we found you!' 'i guess you did!' SO OFTEN#these two girls mean the world to me and i will not let you reduce them to love interest rivals#when tifa ran over to aerith's body i think everyone in the world heard my heart shattering into dust#these thoughts are a bit disjointed and don't articulate well what i mean but god. god. i am thinking about her today
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hella1975 · 2 years
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id like it to be known that i wholeheartedly support abortion. i support abortion for the person whose pregnancy has become too dangerous to come to term. i support abortion for the victim of rape. i support abortion for those who don't have the financial means to have a child. i support abortion for those underage. i support abortion for someone middle-aged with a stable family and finances and loving partner who quite simply does not want a child. i support abortion for people who sleep around. i support abortion for someone who thought they wanted a child but changed their mind. i support abortion in all its infinitely different situations. if it comes to me picking between a bunch of cells that look like fish eggs and an actual living breathing person with a name and future then babe we're having caviar
#fun fact! 9/10 abortions happen before 12 weeks#and over half happen in the first 8 weeks#at 12 weeks your fetus (bc it's not even a baby yet if u want to be technical) is the size of a lime. a fucking lime#i wasnt going to make a post about this bc i dont like bringing politics onto tumblr#bc after how jaded i got with covid and now Everythign Else i wanted a site that could be safe from real world shit#and also it's very tiring that an American Issue suddenly becomes Everyone's Issue and it can be quite frustrating#when that energy isn't met for literally any other country. and i didnt want to contribute to the en masse posting about roe v wade atm#for those two reasons (at least on tumblr. im not actually spiteful about this and obviously really care about the topic. it's just tiring)#but it's come to my attention that somehow i have pro-lifers in these parts#and i want to make it very fucking clear that i dont want them here#me and this blog are completely wholeheartedly pro-choice in any form it may show itself as#because i have enough critical thinking skills to know two basic facts#1) that people have ALWAYS had abortions. the only thing that's changed is the safety in which they're carried out#you will NEVER get rid of them you will only ever endanger the people and women you're trying so hard to 'protect'#and 2) i have never heard of a single person that was happy to get an abortion. not one. it's not a fun experience#it's incredibly hard and traumatic but oftentimes necessary for whatever personal reason specific to that person#stop fucking making laws about other people's bodies#it really shouldn't be difficult
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yuridovewing · 11 months
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“oh ha ha the theory where ashfur is dovewing and ivypools father is so cringe”
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#but…. my melodrama….#real talk i like the theory but dislike whiteash. im not a believer bc i ship them im a believer bc its interesting to me#i see it as like. ashfur had a bruised ego and whitewing had had a crush on him since she was young#and he basically just. used her to restore his ego. bc hes a creep. he went to her not out of love not even as a second choice#but to go ‘’see? SOMEONE loves me so why cant that bitch love me? shes missing out on me#but he ofc wants squilf as a mate. so hes not official with whitewing he wont let her tell anyone#bc he wants her to come back to him and she cant do that if hes not available#so yeah means to an end situation. and when whitewing gets pregnant ashfur ditches her bc he wants REAL kits with squirrelflight#and whitewing is pretty sick of him but she still doesnt want to say who the dad is bc shes grossed out by him now#bc cant imagine he was exactly nice to her#and birchfall decides to be their adoptive dad bc he and whitewing are besties#and hes also in love w one of the shadowclan cats he traveled with so like lol works for him#and its not bc i want to put whitewing through that or something its bc i think the repercussions would be interesting#lionblaze and jayfeather try to be kind to dovepaw. but they look at her and see their murderer in their sisters place#dove and ivy being abandoned by their dad and only existing out of spite really. how that connects to the prophecy#and when it comes out that ashfur was an attempted murderer and they suspect hes their dad it just gets worse#and then in tbc two of the protags would be ashfurs grandchildren… they exist bc of him#and he uses both of them for his plans. may as well use his bastards for something in his eye#‘’oh but whitewing is cloudtails daughter and hes ashfurs foster brother-‘’ ashfur is already a creep lol#hes closer in age to squilf’s dad than he is to her so would u really put it past him#like the point isnt ‘’awww this ship would be cute’’ its ‘’ashfur is a sleazy asshole lets play with that’’
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chelblue · 2 years
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i am so absolutely insane about simon was by the blasting company to the point where i am so close to making ocs based on it and I NEVER make ocs. because it’s just like. WHAT is going on in the song. i want to explore whatever weird relationship the leads have.
like it starts so normal. simon has mommy issues so he runs away with the narrator to explore the world but then it just gets weird!!
why does the narrator clarify that “at least for us, life was changed”. why does the narrator leave simon. what does “this life perfect, but it isn’t real” MEAN. why is the main refrain of the song “but no one is gone”. like what!!!! what is going on with them!!!! i want to know more!!!!
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palukoo · 1 year
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okay I am interrupting my gonch posting to say. wtf dead to me that was the worst possible ending like. I quite literally could not have come up with an ending that bad what the hell
#my post#look. I am about to get into spoilers here bc I need to express my rage. so just#this is the warning. :/#the fucking nuclear family ending??? with Ben????#the way that the only way they built up Jen/Ben was through DIRECT parallels to Judy/Jen while refusing to acknowledge Judy/jen??#like the fucking. number of scenes they basically copy pasted and then made straight ughhh#I KNEW Judy/jen wasn’t gonna happen I’m not stupid I just thought theyd still be together not Judy being fucking dead jesus fucking Christ#also a baby?? fr?? the only way you can justify jen having a baby to me is if it’s with/for Judy. not. to have a nuclear family with Ben#also just SUCH a disservice to Judy you literally let her resolve nothing just get cancer and die#like I will say it was kind of nice to have her like admit to Jen she had cancer and slowly get a little more comfortable with asking for#help and all that but like. you can and should do that without killing her!#they took my toxic codependent besties and did this?? like I always am like screaming about the ep 9s of s1 and 2 and how good they are and#I don’t even know this ep 9 I mean it’s fine yeah i think it was a good ep I guess with another little confession moment. but that finale!#literally what the fuck was the point of the first two seasons and the show if that’s the end#like it’s about them and their friendship and family not. Ben. oh and retconning him into the back of the car was stupid as hell#I’m sorry like the thing is I’m generally fine if :/ when shows end like. in a way I don’t want them too and I knew that I probs wouldn’t#like. love however it ended I guess? but this was so bad#it literally didn’t serve a single character (like. I’m sorry I’m supposed to believe Jen is just a happy satisfied gf and mother now?)#and it didn’t serve the plot or any themes or anything. I just don’t get how those were the choices they made. and it sucks bc like.#I like the show and the characters this was just really bad. like I could elaborate more but it’s just bad and upsetting#tagged
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gailynovelry · 1 year
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Ember Warrior is now 55,500 words long!
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taintedcigs · 6 months
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˚     . ✧ 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐄
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vol 1; made to break your heart — king!steve harrington x fgirl!reader
summary: in which you see your ex making out with someone else leaving you with no choice but to fall right into the lap of his enemy, steve harrington. (wc: 5.2k+)
warnings: smut smut smut, minors DNI, or*l sx (receiving and giving oop), some good ol’ bj, drinking, drgs, weed basically, no use of ‘y/n’, degrading, praises, LOTS OF PRAISES, they are both switches but idk if that counts??, nicknames! reader is kinda heartless basically a maneater, steve is an arrogant bastard, and hes got a big BIG di–heart. some lil’ eddie mention that u might miss if u blink!
authors note: i am kinda thinking a pt.2 of this IM open to all ideas, but i kinda am thinking of making it like a mini-series? and maybe introduce eddie in the second part, and then make part 3 steddie? mmmhmm? what do we think? my asks r open for all and any ideass anyways not proofread bc of my lazy ass. ignore any mistakes.
please like + reblog + interact to support me ! thank u ily
read vol 2 here
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Booming music filled your ears, sweaty bodies swaying away from you but you couldn't care less.
Whispers from your back, collected gasps, and all you could do was watch. 
Fingertips clutched on your dress in fury, gaze unable to tear away from the scene playing out right in front of your eyes. 
Tina’s lips were locked onto Billy’s, you thought it was pretty soon to be swapping salivas considering it had been barely two days since he broke up with you. 
The red cup in your hand was almost smushed from the hardened impact of your fists, with a quick go, you downed it, ignoring Tommy and Carol’s cackles as they watched you. 
With a roll of your eyes, you were quick to turn away from them, ignoring your friends calling out for your name—you didn’t need this, you didn’t need to be pampered. You just needed a generous amount of drinks, and maybe someone to keep yourself busy with. 
Tina and her lame-ass party could go fuck themselves.
Billy was an asshole, no real surprise there. And you didn’t care, because the relationship had run its course, again. Tough shit. You were used to it. Another break up with him. 
You didn’t care about it, the only thing you cared about was him crossing the line, making out with another girl in front of everyone. 
Each break, the two of you fucked whoever you wanted to fuck, just to end up together again, drunkenly. But this time he made it everyone’s problem, and you couldn’t let him get away with that. 
The whispers, and the collective giggles every time you passed by were making your blood boil.
You couldn’t let that dipshit ruin your reputation, you weren’t going to pathetically pine over someone who could barely make you cum. And you weren’t going to let any of those gossiping assholes think otherwise. 
You stumble onto the porch with a string of curses leaving your pouty lips, quick to fish out a joint courtesy to that Munson kid, always providing you with the best weed, either free or cheap, depending on how much you adjusted your skirt or batted your lashes at him. 
Maybe, you should pay him a visit. For fucks sake, you’ve seen him play, and he could roll a joint blindfolded, he knew how to put those fingers to use.
You could just imagine the scorching look on Billy’s face, his velvety lips scrunched together, a sickening feeling sinking into his stomach, knowing that you fucked Eddie Munson, the guy he always went to get his weed from.
The idea of it brings a delicious smirk to your lips. But it wouldn’t be enough, no. You needed something more, something bigger. 
“Need a lighter, honey?” A coarse, smooth tone has your head cocking, the joint sitting on your lips rising with the impact. 
Steve fucking Harrington.
Falling right into your lap.
Billy would’ve flipped the fuck out if he knew. He always warned you about him, telling you that Harrington was off limits, no matter what. Well, until now. 
Your gaze locks with his, dangerous, filthy, and exactly where you want him. Before you can drag out the joint to answer him, he acts quicker, brushing his fingertips on your chin, almost tugging you closer to him, he licks his lips, wetting them with a chuckle.
With a gentle flicker of his lighter, the tip of the joint smolders, casting a warm glow to your face that accentuates the smirk curved on your lips. 
Your dress rides up your thighs when you straighten up, taking an inhale from the joint, you blow the smoke in his face without a care. He eyes each of your movements, the stupid grin sitting on his lips growing wider the more his eyes move up and down your body. You almost want to chuckle at how easy this is. 
But you also know Steve’s type, you have to make them chase you a little bit, give them a little thrill, before you finally give in. And you had already been doing that, for the longest time.
Always teasing him, but never giving in. Your hands always brushed past his bicep just enough to let him know you were interested, eyelashes always fluttered at him, teeth biting on your bottom lip as you checked him out. 
The little game had been fun, but you never plucked up the courage to fully give in to him, Billy would’ve lost his shit. Besides, you knew his type, and you didn’t want to be one of his other trophies. And you didn’t have to be, you just had to use him to get yourself off, and piss Billy off. The second you walked into a room with him, you knew the party would be buzzing with the gossip.
You had the perfect excuse, the perfect excuse to finally divulge your fantasies, all the cheerleaders always blabbered about him, calling him an ass, but an ass who knew how to properly use his fingers and that dangerous mouth.
Exactly what you fucking need.
You had been pent up enough for the months you were with Billy.
This would be a little reward. 
“All alone?” He was smug, he absolutely knew about the break-up and possibly saw Tina and Billy’s show, so he knew this was the perfect opportunity to have you in his palm. In a fucked up way, that made you want him more, the unspoken game grew more intense with that gaze of his, he had the same idea you did. The fucker was smooth. 
You nod curtly, not wanting to just fall into his lap. No matter how good he looked in those Levi’s jeans that cupped his ass perfectly. Why was he so fucking interesting to you? Arms all toned, face adorned with tiny moles, he almost seemed mystical. 
And oh god, his hair. That soft, perfectly layered chestnut brown locks, so effortlessly cool that you just wanted to run your hair through it, tugging at it the more his lips sucked on your clit.
God, the thought had your thighs pressing together uncomfortably. 
“A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be all alone at a party,” he pouted mockingly. “Where’s that boy toy of yours?” He tutted, hand dangerously planted on your back, ghosting over your hips. 
That elicited a giggle out of you, “Didn’t you hear all the rumors, pretty boy?” You leaned further, hand extending to offer him a huff. His attention was somewhere else though, eyes widening the more he admired you in that dress, showing off your curves in all the right way, tits almost busting out of your chest.
God, he had been waiting for this moment, an opportunity to have you, the second he fucking met you. But Billy got to you first.  
“We broke up.” That brought his attention back to you, a smirk played on his lips when he leaned into your hand, lips wrapping around the tip of the joint, he sucked on it but his dark amber eyes remained on you. 
With an inhale, “Good.” He mumbled, “knew that dipshit couldn’t handle someone like you.” 
“You need someone better take care of you…” he hummed, nose dipping closer to your features, “someone who knows how to handle all of this.” His hands were placed on your waist, traveling all over your body. 
Your breath was quick to get caught in your throat, a whine leaving your lips with how forward he was being.
And shit, you understood the appeal, you always did, but this time, you were sure your hunger for him grew faster than you intended to. You were in his palm, and you were more than okay with it. 
“Yeah?” You teased with a giggle, head falling on his shoulder, brain getting fuzzier. 
“I can make you forget him.” He’s bold, and it has your thighs rubbing together.
“By the time I’m done with you, you won’t even remember his name, or how to walk.” He’s so close to your ear, breath fanning against your breath as you almost shudder, but you play it off.
“You’re all talk, Harrington.” You licked your glossy lips, head slightly tilted to the side, teasing him just enough. 
“Oh, sweetheart, I know you’ve heard the rumors, and I know you want this as much as you do.” The cocky bastard licks his lips, and you want nothing more than to bite them.
“Oh, yeah?”
“The way you press your thighs together, that little whine you just did when I barely touched you… Tells me all I need to fuckin’ know.” He whispers, and you almost whine out when a sloppy kiss is planted on your neck, harsh and needy. 
“You’ll be screamin’ and beggin’ for me, angel.”
Your brows raise in interest. “That a promise?”
“Uh-huh.” He gives you a boyish grin.
“You’re on, King Steve.” 
It didn’t take the two of you long enough to find an empty bedroom, lips, and teeth clashing as soon as the door closed.
The wandering eyes of the party had followed you up until that point, so you knew as soon as the two of you left the room with your sexed-up looks, everyone would know.
And you would finally have a sweet release after months of Billy’s selfishness.
A win-win. 
You let his curious hands wander around your body, quick to almost rip off your dress, he wants to savor this moment, wants the image of your body engraved in his mind, stuck into the back of it just so he can fish it out whenever he can.
But he’s impatient, he’s waited for this. Wanted you longer than ever, and finally, you’re putty at his hands, ready to take whatever he’s going to give—or at least that’s what he thinks— And he’s feeling greedy. His mouth is pressed onto yours, sucking on your tongue before he lowers you down on the bed, you giggle softly when you sink into it, and Steve has never felt like this before, the hunger in his eyes ignites a spark of pleasure within you, quick to dampen your thighs with need. 
A shocked gasp escapes your lips once he unhooks your bra with his left hand. Oh, he’s good. “Pretty baby,” he murmurs before his mouth is latched onto your nipples. “Perfect fuckin’ tits,” He groans into your chest, hand toying with your lace panties, shaky breaths escape his lips as he earns more whines from you. 
You look ethereal, with your mouth hung open, teeth biting on your glossed-up lips, head thrown back. Just like he knew you’d be. 
The more he circles around your panties the more you feel that pent-up desire burning inside of you, all those orgasmless months with Billy, and Steve was going to elicit more with just a flick of his fingers than you ever had through the entire relationship. 
Maybe that’s why he always called you a bitch. 
“Steve,” your whines come out pathetically as he looks up at you, layered hair already disheveled and that goddamn smirk sitting on his pretty lips. 
“Already beggin’, honey?” He mocks with a grin, tugging on your nipple, all teeth and no mercy. His tongue is making its way further down, soft, wet strokes tickle your body. 
“Fuck off,” You spit at him, barely, words dying down your throat when he’s quick to rip away your lacy panties. His light honey eyes are so much darker now, head thrown back when he visually drinks in your glistening pussy.  
You look so fucking perfect, thighs spread apart, him between them, mouth hung open and ready to take all of him. He makes a mental image of it, burning it to the back of his mind. 
“C’mon sweetheart, let King Steve know what you want, what you really need.” His voice is smooth and coarse, fingertips circling around your clit harder the more you whine for him.
“Do you need my fingers, baby? My mouth?” You moan at that, audibly. It has him chuckling darkly once he realizes how depraved you really are, one touch from him and you’re already soaking his fingers, whining like a pretty little slut. 
If he knew how much you’d be such a good girl for him, he would’ve done this much sooner. Would’ve ruined your pretty little pussy for anyone else, Billy would’ve had no chance over him. 
“Has that asshole not been makin’ you cum?” It was more of a rhetorical question, but the way you shook your head with a pout, had him melting. He really had you and didn’t know how to take good care of you? What a fucking loser.
“Holy fuckin’ shit… not even with his mouth?” His eyes widened, he really didn’t think Billy would be that bad, everything was working to his advantage. 
“He- uh- he never…” You stammered, getting uncharacteristically embarrassed because it was, truly embarrassing. All those months with him, and half the time you faked it. Selfish prick.
“Never? Oh, baby…” He coos with a dangerous smirk, lip all pouty and mocking, “No wonder you were so desperate for me. You really needed this, huh?” He almost gave a chuckle, caressing your pussy with his middle finger, getting you all ready. 
“Jerk-” You want to curse out his cockiness, tell him you don’t need him. Keep him grounded, but the whines he’s pulling out of you are enough to make him grin like a Cheshire cat. 
Your breath gets shakier when his finger easies into your walls. “Sshh, relax, baby.” He coos. 
“I’ll make you feel so fuckin’ good, doll.” His fingers are slickly working their way in and out of you, filthy sounds mingling with your moans as his nose brushes over your clit, causing your hips to start rocking up to him. 
“Had this pretty little thing, and didn’t even know how to take care of it, hmm? What a waste,” He hummed sweetly, index finger thrusting in and out of your sloppy walls.
“If I had known you’d be this fuckin’ soaked, I would’ve done this much sooner,” he taunts, fingers curling inside of you, enjoying the way you gasp out and buck your hips for more. 
He dives in, pressing the flat of his tongue against your swollen lips, enjoying, fully tasting you. With a satisfied hum, he brings his eyes to meet yours, all fucked out, “Jesus fuckin’ Christ, had this sweet pussy but never even tasted it… What a fuckin’ dumbass… I’ll give you what you deserve, baby…” 
He’s going to explode soon, if he doesn’t make you cum and then fuck you senseless. He can feel his balls draw up more and more, each time you whine, each time you plead for his name as a whisper. 
He flicks the tip meticulously, giving you attention everywhere and anywhere, just like he knew you’d like it. “You know, I usually would never do this on a first date,” He mocks, grinning all mouthy and you attempt to dive his mouth further into you, to shut his arrogant ass up, and that fucker resists, “But god, you’re an exception… just begging to be fucked, you deserve this honey, can’t be selfish with you.”
His licks are heavenly, sucking on your clit like a man possessed, and his name falls from your lips in such a filthy way that you don’t even care how pathetic you look anymore. You accept it, you let him take full control, trashing beneath him. 
“You like that, angel?” His words are muffled into your cunt, the pad of his thumb still circling around your entrance while he sucks on your clit. Your head sinks further into the softness of the bed, eyes squeezed shut, breaking apart with just his tongue. He moans into your soppy walls, sending a shock wave of pleasure to ripple through you. 
He doesn’t even need your words, the visual of you squirming underneath him is enough to have him all bricked up, you taste like the sweetest sin. Velvety walls so tight that it has him bucking his hips into the bed, desperate for some friction, he needs you. And he’s sure he never wanted someone this badly before. 
“So fuckin’ special, aren’t you? Such a desperate baby…” You can feel his bulge against your thigh, sitting prettily and throbbing against his boxers. You always heard how big he was, but fuck, you finally get to feel it, and it’s glorious. 
And he twitched in his boxers just from eating you out? God, he was fucking perfect.  
He dips his head just enough to muffle out a few more words, “I wanna taste you fully, angel. Want you to soak my tongue.” He dives in before you can reply, eliciting dirtier moans from you, alternating between his fingers and his tongue. 
He doesn’t care about anything else but you, he wants you panting for him, cumming all over his tongue while you scream his name. 
Your thighs start to shake once he pushes two fingers inside of you, gentle but rough enough to have you squirming and bucking your hips more into him, you’re at his mercy, and he loves how tight you are. Just the thought of your tight cunt milking his cock dry has his eyes rolling. 
“S-steve,” you breathe out roughly, enjoying how his tongue is licking up that sweet spot. “I know baby,” he taunts all cockily, admiring the way your thighs shake with need. You’re going to cum soon and that prick can feel it. 
“N-need to cum, please,” your pleading is unintentional, you just need a desperate release, and he’s so fucking good. 
“Cum for me, angel, be a good girl for me, yeah?” Your eyes squeeze shut at the praise, and he takes note of that, admiring the way you tighten around his tongue and fingers at the praise. 
His fingers are quick, making you scream out his name louder and louder. “That’s it pretty girl… cum for me.” Arrogant fuck, you wish to say, but the way he laps up your juices has you whining like a little slut. And his smirk grows wider, a wet patch forming on his boxers with how hard he’s straining them, pathetically needing to be inside of you. 
You tremble, trash, squirm beneath him, his touches and stripes of licks finally enough to have your stomach twisting, with final screams of “Steve!” and “F-fuck!” the coil inside of you snaps, orgasm overtaking you with such force that your eyes are glued shut.
A gush of sweetness trickles along Steve’s tastebuds, you taste so fucking good that it drives him even crazier, lapping up at your juices and not stopping until he’s sure you’ve collapsed under him. 
He’s grinning like crazy, lips all glossy with your juices, and he looks so fucking pretty like this. It makes you want to return the favor. 
So badly. And the need to know if the title Big Daddy Steve really suits him or not stirs your stomach, your core pooling with need. If it’s true, your mouth waters with the desire to have him, he looks delicious, and you know he’ll look much more yummy while he’s fucking your mouth, pretty praises leaving his pale rosy lips. 
The avoidant part of you screams at you to not do this, but your core is begging for more. 
Maybe, just maybe, you could return the favor but still toy with him, take control, and mess with his mind. 
Enough to have him begging, pleading for more from you. 
As if he can hear your dilemma, he drags you back in, wrapping his fist around your hair as he pulls you toward him and draws your bottom lip into his mouth, all teeth, sucking with an exaggerated hum, “Do you like the way you taste on my tongue?” He mutters against your ear, licking a stripe of your neck. 
Jesus, fuck. Now, you had to return the favor. 
“Tastes so sweet,” you giggle, you are going to suck him off, but you are going to lead the way now. A smirk gleams on your lips. Teasingly, your hands trace the edge of his boxers, enough to earn a rude whine from him as you squeeze him through the harsh fabric. 
You’re quick to yank his shirt off of him without a warning, and he’s quick to flaunt his well-muscled, heaving chest. 
Asshole. 
With a strong flip, you manage to straddle him, taking him by surprise while you grin at him, and to say Steve is intrigued would be an understatement, his cock twitches at your brow raise. “What are you doing, baby?” He still manages to be so cool that your thighs ache. 
“Returning the favor,” you shrug with a smirk, eliciting low grumbles from him when you lower yourself on his chest, leaving sloppy kisses, mouth tracing a trail that leads to his delicious v-line. 
You lift the elastic away from his waist, freeing his throbbing tip, the red tip slaps against his abdomen, and your brows pinch together in astonishment admiring it. 
Jesus fucking Christ, he was not all talk. 
King Steve, indeed.
You had to hand it down to those gossipy cheerleaders, they had described him to a t, perfect girth, slightly bent to the left, and big, really fucking big, you probably needed to use your hands along with your glossed lips to take all of him in. 
He chuckled at your expression, basking in the glory of your widened eyes, “Like what you see, angel?” Another taunt, but you ignore it with a smirk this time. Pooling saliva in your mouth, you spit on the angry tip, Steve hisses at the impact and watches with a low grumble once you wrap your palm around his shaft. 
He reveled in how perfectly your soft manicured fingers looked around his delicate bubblegum pink tip, attending to his every need.
Your warm fingers are working their way around his cock, coating his length with your spit as you tugged at it gently, causing his eyes to nearly roll back in his head.
He tries his best to swallow his groans, but his hips desperately jerk up at your hand, desperately fucking it, rendering you speechless.
“You like that, baby?” Your tone was teasing, and if he didn’t feel like he was about to explode he would’ve gripped your hair and fucked your mouth with such roughness that all that you would be thinking about would be his huge cock, punishing you for being such a tease, but he was the one wrapped around your finger now, literally.  
“S’big, Stevie,” you coyly batted your lashes at him, and a shuddered breath left your parted lips as you looked up at him between his thighs. 
He almost wept at the sight, shit shit shit, you were all of his dreams wrapped into one, and he could barely speak. Your palm easily glided down his length, saliva working as a lubricant as you teased him further. 
Your other palm was quick to cup his balls, massaging them and giving them a gentle tug, while your other hand still glided down his length, enjoying the way he struggled not to let out loud groans in your hold.
Without any other word, your head tilted down, quick to mouth the tip of his intense tip, it was almost hot to touch, waiting to be attended to, so needy. Just like him.
You swipe his tip, collecting his pearl of pre-cum gently. “Jesus f-fuck!” Pathetic coarse whines leave his parted lips, he lets you take control, eyes clenched tightly. 
You give his tip more kitten licks, trying to get your throat ready for his lengthy cock. “Just like that, honey,” He praises with his head thrown back, he avoids looking into your eyes, knowing that the fucked out look on your face as your pouty lips wrapped around his cock would be enough to have him spill down your throat in seconds.
And it would be a bit embarrassing for Steve, to lose his reputation to you in a matter of seconds.
“More…” He demands, but you ignore it while you continue your teasing sweet flicks on his tip, feeling him twitch around your tongue.  “Pretty girl,” He whines and jolts his pelvis for more, desperate and needy. Just where you want him.
“Mhmm?” You whine with your mouth full, it sends a rush of pleasure through him, “Suck it, baby,” he whines again, this time pained with need. Your greedy eyes smile up at him and he’s sure you have done something to him.
Because he never wanted to cum this bad before. He wants to wipe that smirk off your face while you gag on his cum, struggling to swallow all of it as it spills down your cheeks, glistening your breasts, ruining that gloss forever, and instead, you walk around with his semen all over your face and lips.
It pulls a twisted groan out of him, you make him feel so perverted and he can’t fucking help himself. You finally accept his pleas, and with one glorious tug, you finally wrap your lips around his cock, fully, getting teary-eyed each time you try to take more of his flesh.
Steve can’t help himself, his head is dipped down, and he immediately feels his balls ache at the visual of you, crystal tears staining your cheeks, and even then, that lewd look did not leave your eyes.
“F-fucking slut, just like that,” His groans are uncontrollable, hips bucking further into your mouth. You don’t let him yank you by your hair, just yet. You let your mouth adjust to him, sucking him deep and tight. 
“Such a good girl, suckin’ my cock with all she has, mmpf.” His praise has your core clenching, damn him. 
He admires your pouty lips fully wrapped around his flesh, sucking and hollowing your cheeks as you wail for him, “Shit, shit, baby, l-look so pretty with my cock down your throat, mmhmm…” He coos, words incoherent.
“Will look even prettier with my cum shooting down that throat, isn’t that right, angel?” You hummed in agreement, looking up at him with your dark, hooded gaze, an unintentional grin playing on your lips.
He mumbled a string of curses, praising you, worshipping you. You continued your stroke on his base harshly, working the head with your tongue, a new angle that had him go absolutely insane. 
“Mmmhmm, need your cum, Stevie.” You mumbled, momentarily letting your hand do all the work before you dove back in, taking his stiff cock deep in your throat, he had been struggling before, but your words were his last straw.
Because it was exactly what he fucking wanted, owning your mouth, and fucking it with ease. 
His palm turned into a fist the second he held your hair, yanking it down as he pushed you further down on his cock, enjoying the way it hit the back of your throat, you gagged around it, all teary and Steve’s head fell back in pure ecstasy. “Y-yes, yes, fuck!” 
“Gonna cum, baby, mmmpf, god-” He panted, his cock twitching more and more you sucked on him.
“Gonna fuckin’ s-shit-” He shuddered, thighs shaking while your throat continued to squeeze the tip of his cock, and once you gave his balls some more attention, he knew he was a goner. 
“Fuckin’ give i-it to you,” He barely let out when his eyes glued shut together, almost rolling to the back of his head when you gagged around his cock, with a glorious groan of “Fuuuuuck!” Steve came in your mouth, hips still bucking into your throat as a spurt of his warm load spilled down your throat, coating it nicely. 
You only let go of his softened cock with a ‘pop!’ sound once you made sure you sucked him dry, swallowing all of it while Steve watched you with such a dazzled look that it almost made you want to do more with him. But, no. This had been enough.
You enjoyed his salty taste in your mouth and the way his fingers and mouth worked inside of you. And that was enough for you. For now.
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” He grumbled a chuckle that had you grinning and winking at him. God, men really were easy. One blowjob and Steve was already looking at you like you were the most precious thing in his life. 
You had to go easy on him, tell him that you weren’t going to let him fuck you.
Because you got what you wanted, an orgasm, and the reputation of fucking “King Steve”, everyone would be gossiping about the two of you by now, it was a matter of time before that douchebag found out.
He tried to pull you in for a kiss, but you were quick to dodge it, getting up from the softness of the bed with a groan while Steve curiously eyed you. 
His brows were quick to pinch together, watching the way you easily slipped your tight dress on your body while you admired yourself in the mirror. Rubbing your lips together to fix your gloss, fingertips cleaning over the smeared mascara running down your cheeks.
“W-what are you doing?” He inquired, his face quick to fall down. 
You shrugged nonchalantly, “I want to go dance,” brows then raised in excitement “Ooohh! Maybe I could get some more weed, have you seen Munson around?” You questioned, that lustful look still dancing in your eyes.
“Uhhh…” he stammered, still confused on what the fuck just happened. “Y-yeah I think-”
“Thank fuckin’ god!” You hummed with a giggle, rushing over to his side, sloppily planting a kiss on his cheek, all shiny and smeared with his juices.
You were halfway through the door when Steve’s protests stopped you. “Wait, wait, wait!” He straightened up, softened cock and all, his glistening chest was begging to be touched, but as you decided, not today.
“What the fuck? I thought-”
“What?” You asked cluelessly, brows raised. 
“We were just getting started, angel,” He tried, but his voice wasn’t as arrogant or confident as it was before, and it took you so much to not let your lips twitch into a smirk. 
One orgasm and he was already broken? Steve was fun to play with it.  
Your giggle at him would’ve felt mocking if you didn’t do it so prettily, Steve just watched in awe. 
The poor boy. 
“You didn’t think it would be that easy, would you?” You tilted your head with a pout. Oh, you were good, he had to give you that.
Because once he literally got a taste of you, he wasn’t going to stop. 
His lips kissed his teeth, it was surely hypocritical of him to think this was unfair since that’s what he always did to other girls. 
“But–”
“See you around, pretty boy,” you cooed, throwing a wink toward his way, and shutting the door with that. Leaving Steve all alone. 
He had never felt this way before. The way his cock twitched just the thought of you again had his mind flooding, you used him, gave him the best fucking head of his life, and then left. 
Maybe this game would’ve pissed him off if someone else did it to him, if it was any other girl he would’ve lost interest, thinking she was trying too fucking hard, but it was you.
And all it did was drive Steve crazier, and make the chase all the more fun, and Steve was nothing, if not persuasive. 
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burntoutdaydreamer · 6 months
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Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write
I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)
I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.
1) My first draft stays between me and God
I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.
I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.
Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?
Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.
Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.
If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.
2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen
I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.
Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.
If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.
3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word
My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.
I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.
If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.
Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.
4) Write Out of Order
This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.
Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.
I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?
When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.
Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.
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selfishdoll · 7 months
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NOW PLAYING…. TOUCH
Just back into it, and let it touch
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JJK MEN & THEIR REACTIONS TO YOU USING THEIR CROTCH TO SHOW OFF YOUR NAILS
ft. kashimo hajime, gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, & takuma ino.
cw: modern au (?), suggestive content (ofc) ooc characters(?), reader being a little shit, etc.
i’ve always found this tiktok trend adorable, and thought it would be nice to write hcs on with them. these are unedited so excuse typos and other mistakes. i might do more later.
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KASHIMO HAJIME.
the nail designs you chose were cute, but a little cheesy. a simple cyan base with purple lighting bolts on each ring finger.
you came back from the shop to spot kashimo resting on your couch, clearly tired from either fighting a curse or general working out. you tapped him, showcasing your nails the moment you got his attention. hajime would only give you a small smirk, leaning his head back again to rest.
the idea would then pop into your head, softly declaring you needed to take a picture to show your friend. he didn’t care enough to respond.
but, that quickly changed when you sat beside him, resting your hand right on his crotch.
what are you doing?
you shushed him a bit, declaring his white pants were a perfect background. a plausible excuse, one that he believed less and less when he realized you were massaging him through his pants.
he allowed it to go on for a moment before he snatched your wrist, pulling you closer to him.
don’t start something you can’t finish, [y/n].
and well, you spent the rest of that evening facing the consequences of your actions. you never did send that picture.
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GOJO SATORU.
probably asked you to get his tip color. you refused, much to his dismay.
you settled on a pretty blue and white design, curtesy of his eyes and hair. you sent a picture of it to him while in the shop; your lover hearting the image instantly.
on the way home, you were scrolling through your tiktok feed and came across the trend. a cheshire like grin covered your features soon after.
making it home, gojo wasn’t busy with anything, simply sitting on the couch and watching some random show. he greeted you and attempted to get touchy, only for you to declare you had to take a picture of your nails first.
just use the one you sent me?
no, baby, i wanna use a different one.
although confused, the man shrugged a bit, focus turning back to the tv. you sat on the couch beside him, humming as your phone hovered above your hand that rested on your thigh. taking a quick glance to assure he wasn’t looking, you reached over, placing your hand right on his crotch.
gojo noticed you instantly, eyes falling from the tv screen and over to your hand, eyebrows pinched close. he said nothing however, simply watching you closely. the moment you began to rub him, however, he was adjusting his hips eyes lifting to yours, adoring an are you serious? expression.
what’s wrong? you tried to play dumb, all while your hand still moved, not so secretly anymore. gojo would only grin at you, pretty dimples exposed, turning back to the tv.
nothing.
in that moment his hand reached over to your bare thigh, gently tapping it; fingers stroking the inside of them.
this had now became a game of who would crack first.
and much to your dismay, you always did.
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GETO SUGURU.
your choice of design was a black base with his initials on each ring finger. when sending a picture to the man he complimented them, and was clearly happy his name was on your fingers.
you had been planning to do the trend on him the moment you saw it, booking an appointment the next day. you just wanted to see his reaction, to see if your normally calm and collected boyfriend would react differently.
you were basically rushing into the house the moment you locked your car, entering to spot him on the couch reading a book. you two greeted each other with a soft kiss the moment you walked over.
you really like my nails, suguru?
mhm.
lemme show gojo. you hummed, pulling your phone from your pocket. you bit the inside of your cheek, reaching over and planting your hand right on his crotch. you felt his eyes on you for a moment before they drifted back to his book. which, frustrated you.
and so, you adjusted your hand, a false mumble of needing a better angle exiting you. except the adjusting didn’t stop, seeing as you began to gradually rub your palm up and down his crotch.
you jumped a bit as he shut his book closed, grabbing your wrist and pushing it against his hardening length even more.
now, you deal with it? understand?
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NANAMI KENTO.
much to nanami’s embarrassment, you used his tip color. he tried to talk you out of it, but it happened. how they color matched it was above him. and why you did such a thing was above him as well. but, he did have to admit the nails were still pretty.
when you got home the man was busy with some paperwork at his desk, grumbling to himself every once in a while. you walked over with a gentle smile, watching his tense shoulders fall the moment you made your presence known.
you then showed off your nails, nanami simply shaking his head with a smile.
you got a bit needy the moment his eyes turned back to his desk however, biting the inside of your cheek before a brilliant idea popped into your mind. you find a chair beside his desk, scooting a bit close to his own. which wasn’t suspicious, you did that often.
what was suspicious was you reaching over, placing your hand onto his crotch.
[y/n]…
just trynna get a good picture. your pants are the perfect color. the excuse left you quickly, hearing the man sigh softly to himself but allowing your hand to remain there.
that was until, you began to carefully slide your hand up and down his crotch— back and forth. nanami didn’t left it go on for long before he was grabbing you by the forearm, pulling you up from your chair and over to his lap.
oh, ken, your paperwork..
that can wait. can’t ignore you when you’re being so damn needy..
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TAKUMA INO.
to ino’s surprise, you somehow got your nail lady to carefully draw his masked face on your ring finger. the moment you sent the picture he was amazed and very happy. something you found adorable.
so of course you decided to toy with him.
coming home you spotted the man not really doing anything, simply resting on the couch. he smiled up at you, eyes following you as you walked over to sit beside him. his arm came to wrap around you, the two of you sitting in silence for a moment; simply watching tv.
until you swore softly, pulling your phone from your pocket. gotta take a picture for a friend.. you would mumble, something ino barely acknowledged.
the moment your hand was on his crotch, however, his eyes fell from the tv quickly, staring down at your hand.
uh, y/n…
sorry baby, just gotta use your pants. you claimed, the man muttering nervous ok, going completely still— clearly not wanting to mess up your photo. you smiled at this, nearly feeling bad for what you were about to do to him.
slowly you carried your palm up and down his crotch, feeling the hand on your hip twitch. continuing the facade, you tilted your phone every so often, attempting to find the correct position; all while poor ino attempted to calm his rising hard on. he tried so hard too.
just as you felt his hard length through his sweats, you snapped a photo, rising from the couch— placing a chaste kiss to his cheek on the way.
thanks baby, imma take a quick shower.
needless to say, ino was a bit confused and disappointed, only able to give you a small nod— watching you walk away. ignorant to the fact you were holding in your laughter.
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inkskinned · 2 years
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but they don't care about the burnout. everyone is burnt out, they tell me. who isn't burnt out!
the good news is they don't say depression is a choice as much anymore, but the symptoms for burn out and depression are so hand-in-hand that they are mirror images of each other. but depression is serious. you're not depressed, you're just whiny. they barely change the script - don't be lazy! burn out is for people with real problems. burn out can be resolved with some fun candles and a day off work. burn out only happens in adults - no kid can be burnt out, after all; they've barely even had a life to live!
do you have a roof over your head and a steady job? you're not burnt out. so what if every night you wake up with a panic attack frothing inside your chest. you're lucky your problems are small. get back into plants or into yoga. shut up about it.
rich people get burnt out and go to fancy places. they get burnt out in their fancy offices with their real-people problems. they get burnt out and hire an assistant to help them never burn out again. you don't have the money to burn out. you don't have the two weeks to recover in a local spa. the job you come back to will still be stressful and hard.
you find yourself often wondering - does nobody remember about the pandemic? it seems almost like a joke or a punchline. being burnt-out was okay "during" the pandemic. now that people are back to ignoring covid, burnout is just-an-excuse again.
you google how to know if it's seasonal affective disorder or burnout. you google how to know if it's anxiety or it's burnout from working. you google how to know if my depression is back or i'm burning out badly.
coming back from burnout just leaves you covered in ashes, not new growth. you struggle to get back basics, and then - you're just supposed to get back up and keep going. every day the amount of tasks you are able to do seems to dwindle even further - where does the time go? why is everything moving so-fast-and-yet-so-slow?
my therapist and i were talking about how many people had latent mental illnesses that were triggered by the pandemic. how depression can be environmental and situational. i am annoyingly logic-driven about my own recovery - i like to be sure i'm working on the "right" thing. i tell her i feel like i'm lying. that it just might be burnout, and i need to stop complaining. she asks me what words come to mind when i think of burning.
oh, i guess i see.
we casually ignore the violence of being left empty.
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issa-pheonyx · 3 months
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Yandere-sub!Stalker X GN!Reader🔪🌶️
𝗚𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗴𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱. 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀. 𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲, 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗢𝗖 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘁𝗼: @lovisyandereblog
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▌│█║▌║▌║ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ ║▌║▌║█│▌
I have been stuck with this...puppy yapping, lovesick, twisted, perverted, and annoying man thing. I lost track of my days being stuck in this hellhole. As much as I hate to admit some part of me takes a liking of him until I am reminded that I can never go outside nor a blink of an eye of how the outside world looks like now. Furthermore, I have been finding ways I can be able to crack him to get me to at least smell the air of the world. Still nothing. I am so stuck and helpless...
I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling feeling numb and drained how day by day remains the same. I wake up, he walks in greeting so cheerfully, we eat, he talks to me as if he never gets tired of doing that, throws a fucking fit when I don't pay attention to him thinking I hate him, we have a fight, he cries like a cowering dog, I apologize and he immediately forgives me acting lovey-dovey like nothing happened, and go back to sleep to the next day. Basically, I am losing my fucking mind!!! I can't stand it, but I also...do?
It is not hard to explain, yet I feel shameful to explain it, because it is like an addiction. I want to leave, but at the same time I do not want to. This desire I have blossomed for him is something I never had in my life that I don't want it to stop. I already knew it is going to happen again. It can be at a random timing. Hell maybe it will start again when we have an argument. "Oh my love! Are you awake?" Dammit, he is home. He opens the door and I immediately turn to my side and close my eyes to pretend to be asleep
I gulped and try to stay calm hoping he would just go away. I only heard two footsteps behind me then the door closing. I sigh in relief thinking he left as I turn to my other side only to be greeted by Noah smiling, creepily, crouched down by the bed. Our faces inches away from each other,"Are you trying to make yourself go back to sleep again?~" I gasp shoving myself away bonking my head against the wall. I hiss and rubbed the back of my head,"Oh god! Are you okay!?" He forcefully grabs me and holds me into a tight embrace. He peppers kisses on my head where I accidentally hit myself, however I push him back,"Knock it off! I'm fine, Noah."
He gives me the sad puppy eyes,"B-But, you got hurt. I just wanted the pain to go away..." I rolled my eyes at him and got off the bed,"Noah, I am not dying. Now what do you want?" I crossed my arms as he smiles brightly (more like obsessively) and comes up to me,"Weeell, we gotta eat breakfast, of course. And then we can-" I cover his mouth,"Yeah yeah yeah. Talk and talk and talk. Same thing everyday. Not surprised..." Just great.
He also has to feed me (not by my choice) every time, but thankfully he respects my halts when I am full. After that he dragged took me back to the bedroom again as I sat down and he happily sat down next to me. He clings onto my arm, nuzzling against my shoulders, humming in glee, and I just let it go. "So, what do you want to do now?" Noah asks as I knew my answer would not be fulfilled. "There is no point of me telling you, Noah." He lets out a whine,"No! Besides going outside!! I told you it's too dangerous even if I were to be outside with you. You can just tell me what you crave or whatever activities that I can be able to bring here I will do it."
I face palm and shake my head,"Forget it, Noah. That is the only thing I want to do. So stop asking me stupid questions." He looks at me as I glance at him,"I am not! I just want to make you happy!!" Here we go. A new fight is happening. "Happy!? HAPPY!? Is this? ALL of this is suppose to make me happy!?" I stand up and he did too,"Yes, it should be, (Y/N)!! I did everything in my power to keep you safe, protected, and happy." I gave a chuckle out of disbelief. "Noah...I fucking hate you."
...oh shit
"What did you say?" Noah asks, heartbroken. I felt a twinge of nervousness and regret. Not regret for saying that, but letting my emotions to get the best of me. "...get out, Noah." "No, what did you say-" "I SAID GET OUT!!! GET OUT, NOAH!!" Surprisingly, he did and I quickly shut the door. There is no point in locking it since the lock is on the other side, but still grateful I got some privacy this time. I don't have to be stuck with him talking my ears off. I drag my back down on the door and sat on the floor. On the other side from a distance I can hear Noah crying. Sobbing himself out. I felt bad, but I got so tired of his shit I had to say it
Some hours have passed. I think I might have knocked out against the door. I stand up groaning feeling discomfort from my neck from how my position was formed from napping. I wanted to open the door, but thought he might have locked it. But, I gave it a shot. It opened. 'Is this my chance?' I thought as I open the door wide and hear some sniffling from the kitchen. I tip toe down the hallway and hear Noah still crying. I peek over and see him eating some vanilla ice cream. What sucks is that the door was right down the hall. If I try to run to it he will catch me. 'There is no use of escaping...' A sick reminder, but what can I do?
I rub my eyes and adjust my clothes from the wrinkles. I walk into the kitchen and gave a good distance from him. I don't want to comfort him (willingly) and make him uncomfortable after making him cry. "Hey uh...Noah." He looks up at me with his red, puffy, and wet from crying. "I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry for saying it was just not a good time for me so-" He reaches my hand and pulls me closer to him. He hugs around my hips as he was sitting down on the chair and I was standing still. Stiff as a board from his sudden demand of affection
I just put my hand on his hand and the other rubbing his head. He was whispering something like: "...miss you." "so, hic, warm." "I love you...". But, could be wrong since he was sniffling and hiccuping from crying. Noah looks up at me,"You don't hate me right? Not anymore, not ever, right??" He asked desperately. I sigh and replied,"No...I don't." He nuzzles his cheek against my stomach and I pat his head. It seems like he has forgiven me from that response of affection. "You've been eating ice cream?" He hums in response and he looks up at me again,"Want some?" He asked with a little bit of hearty-shaky tone
"Oh no. It's alright unless..." He lets go of me as I hold his jaw in place. His expression went from sad and broken to curiosity and excitement. I swear there could be a glint of hearts in his eyes. I felt his throat gulp from how my hand lowered down to his throat, pressing firmly on the sides. "(Y/N)~" I notice a bit of ice cream stains on the corners of his mouth,"Don't. Move. Understand?" He nods immediately as his breathing was starting to hitch. The same hand wrapped around his throat went up to his mouth as I use my fingers on his lips,"Open your mouth, Noah."
He obeys and does so. I lean closer to his face with my tongue out. Noah grabs my wrist that was firmly opening the corners of his lips,"W-Wai I go'-MMGH!!~" I push my tongue inside his mouth making him moan and whimper, loudly. I can still taste some vanilla as I continue to taste his tongue. The sounds of wetness and slimy texture with a mix of his slutty moans filled the kitchen. Noah tried to move his face around to stop, but I grabbed his jaw to hold him in place. "Mmmgh!!~" He tried to talk, but distinctly couldn't as I was devouring his mouth. His hand that was on my wrist was defeated as he lets me have my way with him. Our tongue swirling around now. The taste of vanilla is gone as Noah continues to moan like the stupid slut he is. I pulled away as he were out of breathe. I wipe my lips from all the drool and saliva that connected from our mouths. "I prefer to taste it this way." I teased and Noah whimpers in response as he looks down.
This is what I meant when I feel shameful about half the reason why I do not want to escape...
He definitely has a boner. A tent in his pants and swear the tip of penis was sticking out a little, but his belt is in the way. He looks back at me with a needy expression. "Aww, is this little puppy hard?" He nods,"Yes...please~" I raise a brow and cross my arms,"Please what?" Noah struggles on restraining himself to touch himself as he just rubs the outer sides of his thighs to calm down. "I wanna play, please?" I pointed the floor as he gets on the floor on his knees. "Good boy." I praised making him let out a whine,"Pleeeassee. I wanna play. It hurts. Please!" I start thinking on what to do with him, but decide to give him the privileges on making the decision. "How would you like to be used, Noah?"
He bit his lip and answers,"Anything. I have two holes and a dildo for you to use~" I was a little surprised by his answer,"Dildo?" He nods and leans back referring to his boner. "Ah...that. Well, then-" He was still leaning back demonstrating his hard-on as I put my boot on it and start to firmly step on it. He yelps in pain, but starts to enjoy it as I rub on his crotch. "Look at you...being used like a damn whore. You like this shit, don't you?" Noah nods biting his sleeve,"Mmm, ah. M-More mmnh~" The tip of my boot teasingly moves in circles down under his balls and ordered him to grinding against my foot. He gladly does so out of desperation like he is trying to make himself cum quickly
He starts to pant like a dog,"Hah, ah, y-yes like that. Ah, gonna, mmnh, so c-close-" Before he has the chance to cum I stopped pulling my foot away. "N-No!! No, please I was so close!!" He cried out as his eyes start to tear up. I grab his hair and make him look up at me,"You are going to cum for me the right way, got it?" I said in a strict tone as he gasps from the action, but listened. "Take off your pants, Noah." He quickly removes them almost like he was going to rip them off. His cock now out in the open. It was leaking so much precum and the veins sticking out more. He was not lying for being close. "Alright, into position. There you go."
He began rubbing his bare cock with my boot again as he grinds against it, moaning once more. "Mmmgh, fuck. F-Feels so good~" I stopped moving my boot as he was doing the rest of the work now. His hips grind more and more intensely as his legs would flinch, but he would force himself to continue humping against my boot. I chuckle in amusement how feral he was acting. Noah looks up at me trying to speak up,"Ahh, (Y/N) gon' ma'hah c-cuum~" His eyes roll back and his head jolts finally releasing from the edging. "Ahhh, ahh!!~"
Strings of his cum lands some on his belly and my shoe as I move it away. "You did a good job, Noah. Here..." I stomp my foot and point my finger towards it. "Lick off the mess you made. You'll get your reward for cleaning up." He nods as he whimpers still feeling his cock pulsing. It was still not enough. But, a reward? He will make sure that boot is clean and not a single strand of his cum in sight. His sloppy licking was distinct from how eager he is willing to get the job done. Afterwards he sits right back up and I look down to see it was all nice and clean,"Such a good doggy~" I cooed
Noah smiles happily and gets close to my leg and wraps around it, nuzzling his head against my thigh. "I love you, (Y/N). Thank you, thank you..." He mumbles and stares up at me with such heartful-obsessed eyes.
Do I really want to turn back after moments like this? How pity~
▌│█║▌║▌║ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ ║▌║▌║█│▌
𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴! 𝗜 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁. 𝗠𝘆 𝘂𝗽𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗦𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹~🖤🫣
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highseas-swede · 7 months
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Becoming Real
Recently Good Omens Prime Twitter account posted a BTS photo of Aziraphale and Furfur and it started the gears in my head turning, trying to parse it. It's only just now that it finally coalesced into a proper thought.
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I kept thinking Aziraphale reminded me of something, especially when compared to the other angels. Look at him next to pre-Jim Gabriel, Uriel, Michael... heck, even Furfur, who he's standing next to right now.
Furfur is a demon, but his outfit is impeccable, it's sleek and stylish. The angel's suits in heaven are all pressed and flawless and New.
But not Aziraphale. He's dressed in old human clothes, his waistcoat is worn and tattered and long-loved. Aziraphale is, as Michael put it, like an old sofa. Worn and comfortable. He could choose to look basically however he wants, but instead he chooses to clothe himself in actual human clothes, to eat human food, to enjoy human entertainment - books, music, plays, etc. He does this despite the fact that it actively makes the other angels dislike him and find him unpalatable.
And that's what stuck out to me. Because unlike those other angels and demons, Aziraphale doesn't feel distant from humanity. He might be odd or eccentric to humans, but they don't question his humanity. He doesn't stand out to them in the way that the other angels do when they show up.
It occurred to me that this is because unlike the other angels... Aziraphale is Real.
Have you ever read The Velveteen Rabbit? There's a scene in it where they talk about what it means to be Real:
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This made me think of Aziraphale. About how the other angels are these pristine things, kept aloof from the world, and then there's Aziraphale, who is worn and shabby, who's lived on earth for millennia among the humans. He's loved and learned and experienced what being human is like and because of that he's Real in a way that the other angels aren't. Humans have personhood, a sense of agency, a sense of self. Angels and demons have only the divine plan, as Beelzebub and Gabriel noted, that's all they live for "if you can call it living".
But what strikes me the most is how potentially devastating Aziraphale's Realness will be to Heaven. They only succeed at keeping angels in line because they're undistracted from the Great Plan. We see how Gabriel - as Jim - takes to cocoa after trying it. We see how quickly Muriel becomes fascinated with books.
Now consider that this is the angel they're putting in charge of Heaven. This worn, shabby, old sofa of an angel who has an endless well of love, for Crowley, for the world and the humans in it. He doesn't seem dangerous in the slightest. He seems Fragile.
But he is dangerous. So very dangerous.
But it's not because he's a guardian, not because he's a warrior, not because he's the Angel of the Eastern Gate who leads a battalion and was issued a flaming sword. He gave all of that away and it's worth noting that this is the first actual choice we see him make in the show, the thing that sets him apart in Crowley's eyes, and it wasn't even Crowley's doing! Aziraphale made a choice to give the mortals his sword out of compassion and it is a sense of compassion we don't see from the other angels.
His deviations all stem from that initial act. It takes him from being this two-dimensional cardboard entity existing only as part of the Divine Plan and set him on the path to actual Personhood.
It doesn't happen right away, of course, because as the Skin Horse says:
"It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But those things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
And doesn't that sum up Aziraphale? He's shabby and worn and he's beautiful to the people who understand and appreciate that being Real means being imperfect, and that every imperfection is still beautiful.
No wonder the angels mock his corporation, his flaws, all the things he enjoys that make him less than what they think he should be. We see evidence over and over that Aziraphale is essentially "ugly" to them. But that's because they don't understand.
Aziraphale's Realness, his personhood, what Crowley has helped nurture from the Wall of Eden all the way to that last desperate kiss, is what really matters. Good Omens has always been about People being fundamentally People. It's the underlying current that ties everything together, for good or for ill. People have agency. People have self-actualization. People have the ability to make their own choices, for good or for evil.
And now Aziraphale has that too.
That's the very real danger he presents to heaven.
Because we've already seen that any angel, given sufficient time and interaction with humans could be like Aziraphale. All it takes is one small opening, one bite from the apple. Whether deliberately or not, Crowley tempted Aziraphale into every step, the way he tempted Eve in the garden. He gave Aziraphale the knowledge of Right and Wrong, presented him with the option, the way he did with humanity. Were they even really human before Crowley? Did he give them free will? His actions cast them out of paradise, but did it ultimately set them free? Has he struggled for millennia to do the same for the angel he's loved so well and for so long?
Does Crowley know how horribly, wonderfully well he succeeded?
Bringing Aziraphale back to Heaven, putting him in charge, was the absolute worst thing the Metatron could have done for keeping the status quo and it's not because of Aziraphale's fighting prowess. It's because of the small Human acts of kindness and pettiness that Aziraphale is capable of. That's not going to go away when he's in Heaven. It's going to spread. He's going to infect Heaven with Humanity. It's going to be so slow and gradual that they won't see it coming until it's far too late.
It's not going to be the way that Aziraphale intends to change Heaven and yet, it will surely ultimately be what really makes a difference.
I wonder too, if maybe that's some subconscious part of it. After seeing Gabriel change, seeing Muriel change, I wonder if there's not some part of Aziraphale that realizes that Heaven is a miserable place that makes miserable people. He'll extend compassion to them that they don't deserve and don't know they're missing and he'll surely go on with whatever his own Plan - with a capital P, of course - is and he won't even realize what he's actually done.
And then, like the ending of S1, like the ending of S2, the ultimate deciding factor will not be who is the best warrior, who is the strongest. It will be about the Human element.
Metatron thought he could control Aziraphale, bring him in line by bringing him back to Heaven. He wants to take away the human element of Aziraphale and shove him back into that Obedient Little Angel shaped mold and he doesn't realize it's not possible anymore. Aziraphale's grown. He'll never fit, he'll never be that again. There is no going back anymore.
As the Skin Horse says: "Once you are Real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
And Real things, things with depth and purpose and will, are impossible to ever truly control.
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