#we're cool tho we just talk every once in a while

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

STOP IM LITERALLY FEASTING ON ALL UR LEO FICS LIKE I REREAD THAT BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND ONE LIKE THREE TIMES I PRACTICALLY FROTH AT THE MOUTH EVERY TIME U POST A FIC

AND ALSO (not a request tho teehee) best friends to lovers with leo js sounds sooo??? like childhood best friends to lovers? omg like what if he's had a forever crush on reader in the back of his mind but he doesnt realize it and instead rants abt every hot girl he sees and reader's just like ugh this again 🙄 until reader is lowkey crushing on this other guy and hes like what??? that shouldve been meeee

and like him and reader basically doing couple shit but "as friends" and everyone thinks they're dating but they're not?? UGHH

⋆⭒˚.⋆ leo valdez x childhood friend! reader hcs

content: leo valdez x childhood friend! reader hcs warning: slight angst but enough fluff to make it okay author's note: DID YOU HONESTLY THINK YOU WERE GONNA DROP THIS THOUGHT INTO MY ASKS AND NOT EXPECT ME DO HCS TO IT??? GIRL BFFR LOOK AT HIM IM WEAK FOR THIS MAN IN WAYS THAT EVEN GOD DOESN'T UNDERSTAND- also, we lost the plot a bit. i'd love to do the whole jealous thing as a blurb later bc im just so happy with how angsty these hcs turned out and i don't wanna add that and change the vibe. sooooo just keep an eye for that tiny blurb in a bit!!

yet another foster family had decided they didn't want leo, sending him straight back to the nun-run orphanage

he wasn't even sure what he did this time, but he just went without a fight, knowing it wasn't worth it

this wasn't the first family to kick him out...and he had a sinking feeling it wouldn't be the last.

that's when he met you, completely down on his luck and glum as could be

you had been getting a bar of soap shoved down your throat when he was brought to the orphanage, the nun with him explaining that you had been caught talking nonsense, which was not tolerated there

leo's eyes stayed on you as they led him down another hallway, watching as you spit the bar up and followed him with your eyes too

"what'd you do?" leo asked, later, once you were shoved back into the rooms, with the rest of the orphans.

"i...i said i saw a dragon made out of metal. they said im lucky they're not throwing him into a psych ward," you whispered back to him and leo offered you a tooth grin.

"a metal dragon? that sounds pretty cool."

"the coolest."

you two managed to bounce from a few orphanages together, being close in age and personalities and whatnot.

though, following a rough falling out with a family, leo was rapidly packing up his few belongings in the middle of the night.

he silently walked over to your bed, doing his best to step over the orphan's that littered the floor and gently woke up, his hand grasping your shoulder while the other pushed your hair out of your face

"lee? what's going on? what's wrong?"

"i'm getting out of here, y/n. we're getting out. come on," he whispered back, tucking his hand into hers and tugging.

you allowed him to pull you out of bed before digging your feet into the ground and halting the both of you

"leo...we can't- i-"

"y/n, it's just going to be an endless cycle of people saying they want us and then kicking us to the curb the moment we're too much trouble or work. at least, on the run, we can live how we want. do what we want."

"...leo, i...i can't," you whisper, tears filling your eyes before dripping down your face.

you two stood staring at each other, unable to leave the other, but both knowing you had to

"i don't know if i'll find you again," whispered leo after a few seconds, swallowing down his own sobs.

"you will. if i know you, leo valdez, you'll find me again. take care of yourself out there, i expect to see you again and in one piece, mister," you choke out, smiling through your tears, hoping to provide him with some comfort.

"i'm gonna find you again, y/n l/n, i swear."

"atta boy," you mutter before pulling him into a bone crushing hug, crying into his shoulder and gripping at his shirt like you didn't want him to leave

leo squeezed back just as tight, his eyes firmly shut in fear you'd see the tears in them

after an eternity in each other's arms, leo reconsidered his decision, wanting to stay in your arms forever

but that was when there was a creak downstairs, surely one of the nuns on her way to check on the kids.

you quickly let go of leo and shooed him towards the window, helping him escape

you grasped his hand as you was on the other side of the window, his eyes instantly darting to you, pausing even though he knew he didn't have much time.

"i- i- you...you're the closest thing to home i've ever felt, leo. stay safe, please. i lo... yeah, stay safe," you gasp out, the words too heavy to state before leaning forwards and pressing your lips to leo's cheek

"im going to find you again simply because i can't see my life without you in it, y/n. i'll stay safe to see you again," leo replied without a ounce of hesitation but he was grateful for the dark night sky, as it very easily hid his blush.

you gave him one last dazzling smile before the creaking got closer, you quickly abandoning the window and rushing to your bed, hoping you could at least pretend to be asleep before she came in.

leo dropped from the window and quickly scrambled away, though not without risking a glance over his shoulders, his chest heaving as he left you alone in that building.

he tried not to think about the fact that he probably got you in trouble, more suds being shoved against your tongue.

leo never forgot you. ever.

you were his girl, even if it wasn't official and you were children when you first met and he hasn't seen you in nearly six years

he tried not to think about how large that number was

he tried not to think about you forgetting him

he tried not to think about you, still in the orphanage, waiting and waiting for him

he tried, he truly did

but something about riding in a chariot with his newly amnestic best friend, his other best friend that fell into the grand canyon only to fly back up with the aforementioned friend, a buff guy with a rainbow tattoo, and a blonde girl who was gravely disappointed by them just being them brought out these thoughts.

and leo wasn't even sure why he was thinking of you as he plummeted down into a lake

well, he wasn't sure until annabeth was giving them a tour, stopping at some training arena

jason, piper, and himself were taking in the place, leo's hands rapidly fiddling with whatever was in his hands as his eyes skittered over the place

"hey, not fair!" a familiar voice called with a laugh, leo's whole body jolting as the air left his lungs and his eyes frantically scanned for you.

"leo? you okay?" piper asked with a furrowed brow

"it's her," he whispered and piper's eyes widened, obviously aware of the girl that owned her best friends heart.

"are you sur-"

"do you think i would joke about this, of all things?" leo hissed, more than desperate, not even sparring her a glance before he spun to annabeth, who was clearly trying to figure the whole story out herself

"is there a girl here? y/n l/n? from texas?" he asked, rapidly.

annabeth just nodded her head, raising her hand and pointing over into the training arena, where you were sitting.

you're legs were crossed under you, a pair of shorts that would leave all the nuns with heart attacks and a smile so wide leo thought he'd just fall into it

his feet were moving before he could think about it, shoving and wiggling around other demigods to get to you

you, you, you

you, who he promised to find

you, who he found

"i told you i would find you," he whispered as he stood before you, suddenly self conscious but you didn't give him time to think like that as your eyes darted to him instantly

less than a second later, you were crying in leo's arms, which were tightly tied around you

leo squeezed you to him, worried you'd disappear, that this would all be some twisted dream and he'd wake up back at the retched wilderness school and you'd be nothing more than a figment of his imagination

but as he felt you pull back just the slightest bit before smashing your lips against his own, leo knew this wasn't just some dream

no dream could ever feel as good as this, that's for damn sure

#postcards from covey ౨ৎ #pjo #pjo fandom #heroes of olympus x reader #hoo #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez

[coffeelovesdramasalatte]

LITA Ep 2 rewatch thoughts

This is such a long post bc I included screenshots oops

I forgot to mention it last time but the opening is so catchy!! I also didn't know BossNoeul sang it until I'd already seen the whole show but that knowledge makes it even better :)

Since we're at the second episode, ofc they start us off with a lil recap. I'm happy to see P'Aon again, yay! Also I like the fun background music. Rain is giving inquisitive puppy vibes in this scene and I'm here for it <3 And then P'Aon mentions Phayu and he instantly turns into disgruntled kitten AHHH what a cutie

VERSUS

Also "how do I know your boss didn't do anything weird to my car" oh sweetheart, he already DID something weird to your car, it's all good now

Once again we get puppy!Rain vs. meow!Rain in the next scene (I'm serious, how tf does Noeul fit all this cuteness inside?)

VERSUS

P'Aon looking at Rain's number like it's the Holy Grail PLSSSS

Yassss Rain call your man out!! What have we got so far? Asshole, bastard, unprofessional, pervert - our boy sure has a range of vocab

Loving that weatherperson foreshadowing that Rain's future is about to have some storm-wrought turbulence - I think it's so funny when a character is like "I never wanna hear/see/think/experience X person again" and then one narrative later they take back those words real quick

I'm also a huge fan of the brothers' dynamic! P'Saifah is always down to call his brother a massive simp to his face, but can you blame him when Phayu literally has this besotted look on?

Ok but what happens next is really short but I think quite interesting. Saifah asks Phayu how long he's been single, and there's a long pause where the camera cuts to this look (see below) on Phayu's face. It kind of looks like he's been single for a while, and not exactly by choice - I get the impression he's been hurt in the past or he hasn't found what he's looking for. BUT then it's immediately followed up with Saifah checking in and Phayu saying "I'll tell you when something happens" with a rather gleeful look. He's already expecting Rain to meet his standards and not run away from him!!! I love how happy Saifah looks for his bro too

And then we get Rain channeling some meerkat energy (I know I've said this a thousand times but URGH WHAT A CUTIE). Also Sky's BS-meter firing so high and Rain's voice jumping like 5 octaves has me cackling every time

Actually, this whole section is quite funny - Rain skipping into the middle of the crowd and then immediately getting ready to run when he sees Phayu, and also there's something yellow+blue color-related going on here but idk what it is (it's cool tho!)

Here are the live reactions to Rain grabbing Phayu's arm to drag him away:

Phayu: mission accomplished 😎

Sky: prayin for ya bff 😇

Ple: I want that to be me 😒

Me + the rest of the students: hmmmm 🌈???????

Ok Rain really has a colorful vocabulary and Phayu is apparently is NOT here for it. Also are Phayu's lips magnets to you Rain? You did not have to stick your lips out like that when you're just tryna have a conversation about manners

I also find it very interesting that Rain is the one to pull Phayu along, first into the bathroom and then into the actual stall. On one hand I know he just doesn't want to be found out by other people but I do think it's rather telling that Phayu who is clearly much larger than Rain allows himself to be manhandled so easily.

First lip touch alert!!!

I'm talking about things I only know marginally about here but idk what else to call it so... I've never heard of a person dropping into subspace so friggin fast I mean all Phayu did was breathe on his neck for 0.2 seconds and Rain's goneeee. I was absolutely unprepared the first time I watched this, and even now on my nth rewatch I'm still feeling some type of way

I didn't notice this until someone pointed it out but Phayu does take a second to pull back and check in (peep the surprised eyebrow raise - clearly he didn't expect Rain to be so into it after like 2 seconds, but he's certainly not complaining)

I also didn't notice this before but Rain actually moans here. Very understandable. Also Phayu telling Rain he did a good job? Praise kink activated (Phayu really just awakened things in Rain one after another lmao)

Another entry into the Rain death-grips Phayu library

I'm actually a bit surprised Rain got yanked out of his headspace so fast - no wonder he collapses by the sink. It's good that Phayu verbally communicates with him right after instead of just leaving. Also interesting choice of words here... there def is something hard involved

I am a SUCKER for headpats. Give them all to meeeee

I can't tell if it's just a translation thing, but when Rain curses Phayu when Phayu is leaving, he doesn't immediately use any cuss words. Look at Rain being a good boy even when he's angry <3 Phayu looks SO satisfied lmao

WAIT SOMEHOW THIS FLEW RIGHT BY MY RADAR UNTIL NOW

Fruity siblings alert! Also Sky coming in clutch here. I don't really get why Ple is so insulted tho, she met Phayu for all of one min (tbf I'd probs react that way if I got to experience Phayu's presence irl though)

Cut to Red Blue boys racing heck yeahhhhhh let's go!!!

It's criminal we didn't get to see Rain fawn over Phayu in this racing outfit. He'd come undone like the rest of us

Also Prapai has a really nice smile! another cutie!!

Ok who is doing perimeter security for these races? Two boys with two shared braincells practically wandered right into the crowd with no trouble - I think if Rain hadn't looked so clueless he could've blended right in

I think the camerawork in these street racing scenes is interesting - I can't quite put my finger on it but it feels like there's something different about the technique or lens bc it looks different than other scenes

I feel like this is a good time to tell y'all I love the Fast and the Furious franchise so I'm right at home here

How strong is Phayu? Rain was actually going pretty fast but Phayu didn't even flinch when he barreled into Phayu's chest. Brick wall I tell you

They did the yellow blue thing again!

This must have been HILARIOUS to film like imagine going into work one day and your boss is like ok now spank your coworker and we're gonna record you

So the first couple of times I watched this I thought that Phayu was being unnecessarily harsh to Rain, but I think now I understand that it was to impart the gravity of the situation. Phayu really just wanted Rain to be safe and also his "grow up" comment comes into play later during the convo after Rain misses a deadline

Rain's death-grip on Phayu Counter: 3

I cannot believe this boy just BIT him so hard Phayu's lips bled. Phayu was so into it though lmao - did y'all hear his voice become so soft after the third kiss?

The line above is so funny to me like sir, the only kind of man you are is a capital F Fool-In-Love

Some more yellow-blue for us

Also he calls him P'Phayu here... what a good boy!

We love chef!Phayu in this house!

I love that Phayu has such confidence in Rain's abilities right from the start - this kind of encouragement is so healthy (in the screenshot below, Rain has just said that he wants to create designs like Phayu)

ALL MEN DO IS LIE (exhibit A see below)

PLSSS HE WAS ALMOST SELF-AWARE my dumb lil son

YASSSS YOU GOT YOUR PRIORITIES IN ORDER PHAYU

And that brings us to the end of episode 2! I'm having so much fun with this <3 Hope anyone reading this has a lovely day or night!!

#love in the air #lita the series #phayurain #bossnoeul #boss chaikamon #noeul lee

[solitarelee]

I actually have a unique reason why I can't use tampons and use pads instead!

Tampons make me pass out. Immediately.

Let me explain my tmi story.

Initially, I thought it was just a panic attack because I was freaked out about putting a tampon in. It happened twice, a couple years apart, so I just didn't use tampons. But, somewhere in my early twenties, I was like, I've had sex now and am comfortable with my body and tampons are no longer scary and I'm sick of pads. It was July 4th and I was wearing a cute dress and wedge heels. My sister and mom re-explained how to use them to me and I went and bought some. We went to my dad's house to pick something up and I decided to just do it there.

Now, my family is very open about bodies and sex and things like that, but I didn't mention to my dad that I was trying tampons again because it just didn't occur to me to do so.

I go upstairs, insert the tampon, pull my underwear (with a pad in it just in case) back up, and stand up to look myself in the mirror over the sink.

Immediately, I feel like I'm going to pass out. I've passed out many times in my life and know what it feels like. The color drains from my face, my ears start ringing, I break into a cold sweat, the works. I stumble over to the bathroom room, leaning heavily on the handle, and call for my sister.

Me: "[Sister]!"

Sister: *annoyed* "What?"

Me: *trying not to pass out* "[Sister]!!"

Sister: *more annoyed* "What?!"

Me: *losing steam* "[Sister]...!"

Sister: "Fine! I'm coming."

She takes one look at me and goes, "oh my god."

Thankfully, my sister was a certified nursing assistant and much stronger than me, so she has no trouble moving me back over to the toilet. I'm mumbling that I'm gonna pass out and she's trying to talk to me but I'm having trouble communicating at that point.

Then my head hits the back of the toilet and apparently I twitched weirdly.

My sister screams, "DAD, GET UP HERE!!!"

He comes up the stairs and, remember, he has no idea what's going on. Usually he's very confident in situations like this, but I think because my sister already had a hold of me and he had nothing to do, he just stood there in shock.

A few seconds later, I'm conscious again, but not fully lucid. My sister asks, dead serious, "Do you want me to remove the tampon?" And I say yes.

Hilariously, she tells my dad to turn around, even tho I would not have cared if he saw.

My sister, absolute hero, removes my tampon for me, tosses it, pulls my underwear back up, takes off my heels, and helps me into my bedroom next to the bathroom to lay down in bed.

Eventually my mom comes over to check on me as well while I have water and the a/c going to cool me off. We're all discussing it, trying to figure out what happened.

Panic attack? No, I wasn't nervous at all.

Incorrectly inserted? No, my sister confirmed it looked correct, since she got a look at it.

Toxic shock?? That shouldn't happen immediately tho...

Allergic??? Would I be allergic to cotton only vaginally??????

Unable to figure it out that day, once I was more recovered, we moved on to celebrate the fourth of July.

It was another year or two later, when I had to get my first pap smear as an adult, that I discovered that speculums ALSO make me pass out. They couldn't complete my pap smear because of it.

Was I allergic to cotton and surgical steel only vaginally?????? That made even less sense.

It was when I was seeing a different doctor the next year, this time at Planned Parenthood, for a pap smear that we discovered a probable explanation.

It's probably pressure on a vasovagal nerve, the rectal one specifically.

There's a rectal nerve that they have to be careful about with enemas and colonoscopies because it will sometimes make people pass out, according to this doctor.

But every body is shaped differently and the nerve must be just close enough to the vaginal canal that pressure will activate it. It doesn't help, I later discovered, that my uterus tilts fairly far forward (more than most people's but not outside the norm), so to get to the cervix, a doctor has to use the lip of the speculum to dip under my cervix and tilt it upwards in order to get the pap smear. So they're directly putting pressure downwards, toward that nerve when doing so. It likely doesn't happen during sex or masturbation because the area engorges with blood during arousal and the vaginal canal actually extends, so the pressure downward doesn't penetrate. Plus, during sex, pressure typically doesn't direct downwards anyways.

And that's why I can't use tampons!

I've considered the cups, but those seal with pressure and I worry that would press on the nerve as well. I have since been able to successfully complete a pap smear a couple times with caution, using a smaller speculum, and warning the doctor beforehand, altho I alway feel bad afterwards cuz I get close to passing out and feel nauseous for a while.

it's her.................... it's the vagina that makes you swoon dramatically

btw I also have a VERY VERY VERY tilted uterus (mine's to the point where it causes issues) and I have the same problem re: pap smears. my bro my guy my sis my fam they hurt so fucking bad when ur tilted and i don't think that's very known. my gyno is very apologetic about it but i get horrible cramps for weeks after due to the maneuvering they have to do to get in there.

#hysteria located #solitaretalk #JOKING JOKING I AM JOKING IM SORRY #it's just so funny to me #RIP ur vasovagal nerves they are a DRAMATIC QUEEN and we stan #I think you guys can probably see why i was hesitant to publish LMAO

[browniefox]

Alright, more Crisis Core, let's go! This one ended up being REALLY long (we got through two chapters), so I'm putting a read more some ways down so it doesn't kill people's dashes.

The boy said the line!

Yay, Cloud is finally here! He still clearly has the basic infantry model other than the head, but it does mean he stands in the casual almost sassy way they all do haha. In general, it's so weird but cute to see him smiling and laughing. Aw, he's not traumatized yet!

I knew what was coming, but my friend I'm playing with didn't, so it was fun to see her reaction (tho i totally still got so excited anyway haha).

This is just here bc I love them so <3 And then Tseng is also here being a third wheel. The sneaking portion that is right after this I sucked ass at. I couldn't make it five feet without being seen and tossed out, and I just had to wait until the game took pity on me and took the guards away.

Genesis, please I'm begging you just kill Hollander. I do love seeing his hair, once so bright red, getting grayer and darker, how his nice leather jacket is getting all broken, giving a sense that he's not taking care of himself and his things as much as he should be.

My sister has tried to stay more-or-less blind to what happens in Crisis Core (she knows some stuff, I know a little more) but all fics tend to use the same Loveless lines (which makes sense, of course) but I did end up reciting this quote with him bc it's one of my favorites, much to the shock of my sister.

I can't believe Zack really thinks Genesis died tho. Like, the guy has a wing, he can fly, falling is not gonna kill him. I'm still not totally clear what Genesis is trying to achieve, but I've been watching some of ButterBuns CCR videos and she's kind of given me a better sense of Genesis. He's just flailing around, trying to get something, anything, to work. He's a dying man who is desperate and doesn't even know himself exactly what he wants.

HELL YEAH! If the creators weren't cowards they would have let your models touch. Our new thing while playing is being proud of Zack for having two boyfriends and one girlfriend. The boy can get it.

As per usual, my biggest problem with this game is the writing - especially with Angeal, tbh. I guess Angeal is just like Genesis in that he's desperately trying to figure out who he is, monster or man. But every time he talks about being a monster I kind of roll my eyes. He's like an emo teenager. Last chapter I felt like it was getting a better grip and liking for him, but I'm kind of back to just being like 'what's your deal man'.

That being said, I kind of dig his weird monster form! It's a mishmash but super cool, and I love how his arms are folded in front of him. My friend and sister I don't think liked it as much and mostly made fun of it which, fair.

Mostly unrelated, but i really got myself into a big of predicament in that I'm super overpowered, which means I get through battles so quick, which also means I don't get to show off all the limit breaks and summons and such when we're playing ;-; but then I turn it to hard mode and die instantly.

I'm always a sucker for sad sunsets. I might not get Angeal or his deal, but I do at least buy that Zack cares about Angeal. It's kind of like Angeal was too set in his ways of monster vs heroes, and that a monster needs to be killed by a hero. That Zack is the only hero left to kill a monster like him, or that by doing so Zack proves he's a hero. But really all it's done is given Zack trauma and made him more uncertain than ever who he is and what he stands for.

(It kind of reminds me of near the end of Homestuck, when Dave and Dirk are talking, and Dave admits it's possible that Bro was trying to train him, but all it did was make him scared.)

I wish we got to spend more time in the game with Aerith, but at least you get the sense that they do spend more time with each other, especially with Aerith being there for Zack after this.

MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BOY! I wish your limit break looked cooler tho :P

Wait, so are Angeal and Genesis brothers then?? I knew they were connected through Gillian, but I guess how connected never hit me. I mean, Angeal defo has her hair while Genesis has her face, but also I've been imagining and seeing them as boyfriends this whole time???

So many mixed feelings about Zack right now. The first thing is yay, new hair cut! My sister absolutely hated his bangs, so big win for her. I do like that you get to see that, as one of the last remaining Firsts, Zack has started to take on more of a leadership and mentor role for the other SOLDIERs. However, him telling them to protect their SOLDIER honor is weird when Zack doesn't know what that is either. I've felt it, but I am glad Zack himself has acknowledged that he doesn't know what that honor is or what it means. I hope we get to see Zack figure it out. I also like that Zack is kind of unmoored and uncertain now. Puts him in an interesting place for whatever's next.

Beach episode! It is FUCKING INSANE to me that Cissnei just... tells Zack that Aerith is an Ancient. Why? What was the point of that? Cissnei, you can't just say that! I guess it could be seen as her trusting Zack and demonstrating she wants to help him, but it's still so weird. It's nice Zack has been said to be hanging with the turks more, but I wish we could have gotten more of that in game. I don't think he even knows Reno and Rude's names.

BOOO TSENG SHOULD BE IN A SWIMSUIT TOO BOO!

So I know Genesis is still alive, but interesting that this is beign considered since it's Sephiroth's whole deal. Tbh, tho, I'm not sure how I feel about Tseng openly acknowledging that Mako is life. How much is that recognized in general, actually? I mean, people do fade into mako when they die... hm, much to think about.

The chase through the city was so dumb, I've had it with Hollander, how hard can it be to catch and/or kill one guy for real. That being said, I do like how cool the buster sword is, and at the end is Sephiroth :D I'm glad that Zack seems a little bitter towards Sephiroth; they're both mourning in different ways, and it's driven a rift between both of them. But at the same time, they're the closest thing they both have to someone who can understand what they're going through.

Shoutout to Zack's little fidgets :D He's still a restless little puppy, despite it all. Sephiroth and Zack's relationship is just so good and interesting, I need them to hang out more so I can see more of it.

God Genesis is so pretty. Both him and Angeal have fucked up looking wings - which adds to what they're going through - but I actually love it for Genesis. Again, what is this dude's goal? He'll probably tell you once he figured it out himself. I love the reveal that he was also at Junon this whole time. Interesting parallel to how the Firsts fought 'at Junon' altogether and now they can't be further apart.

I need to pet that dog! Is Angeal still alive?? I totally thought he died, he has to be dead, right? Just living on in his copies? Anyway, the dog should be a character who manages to live forever because I love him. Also, laughed so hard when the little Shinra robots came into the church oh my god, it's not supposed to be funny I think but it's hilarious how non-threatening they look.

Wow Kunsel, jealous much?? Also, a little creepy? Is my boyfriend stalking me? If I trusted Kunsel, at this point I'd think he was going to betray me at some point, but I trust him too much for that. It seems more like Kunsel just doesn't know how to say 'I'm worried about you and you should talk to me about what you're going through'. I love Kunsel <3

As usual, this game feels like it goes too fucking fast. It's always one thing after another, nobody's talking or explaining things. Maybe it's because you're expected to do side missions every so often? That would probably break things up a bit more. God, there's such an interesting story here! I just wish it was told better.

Also I've been playing so much of this game and only just learned you can sprint :P

#browniefox speaks #ffvii #ff7 #crisis core #ffviicc #brownie plays ccr

[sarcasticscribbles]

Artschool Dropout

I made a thread about how and why I became an artschool dropout, and want to share it here too. Storytime! It's mainly a highlight of parts I despite in the art worlds; capitalism and superiority. My experience was affected by the environment, and hell was a bad environment

Back in the distance year of 2019 I went to an(community) art college in like the *fancy* part of my area. I lived across the lake on the countryside, so I was not prepared for this environment. Rich people cosplaying poor is the best description. Fancy clothing made to look dirty and no-one wore shoes. It was very networking-vibe, with "omg we HAVE to talk more later" but never doing so. Like nurses energy. To be fair I became more and more non-approachable as time went on.

A good note is that Swedish education is normally free, even uni degrees, but this one cost money. It was that was never addressed or mentioned when I applied; that's on me maybe, but the few friends I had didn't know either. A lot was beaten around the bush when it came to expenses. A big draw for the school was a trip they made to Berlin during a film festival. Once the time came around they mentioned the cost for the trip (which was not mentioned before, I thought it was included) and kinda of shamed people if they wouldn't pay and go. Saying how its a highlight of the education and the few staying behind just watch movies for a week. In addition, the film festival wasn't included in the price, and we would have to pay extra to go. It was supposed to be a week, but two days was for travelling by train.

The price was something I would rather use for a private Berlin trip. It wasn't a lot, but I refused to do it, mainly for how indirect they were with everything. A friend and I said we wouldn't go and a staff complained how they would have to keep the school open just for us.

My classmates weren't an issue, it was the teachers and system, which all just felt like a money laundering scheme. One day we travelled to Stockholm, and we were tasked to go four hours alone, sit and stare at an object and think what it made is feel. Those were the instructions.

Four hours. Alone. Then home.

I and one other instead went to grab a coffee and trash talk. Once the time was up, I just made up on the spot "what it made me feel" and he gave me a job well done. I understand the assignment, but the execution from the teacher was all wrong.

It wasn't my crowd tho, I came from a gaming development High school while these people were like, social studies. I'm used to a nerdy crowd, is what I'm trying to say.

I have two funny examples:

I was talking to some guy during a break the ice get together with the whole school (very small school) and I explained I studied video game development before, and he said "omg that's so cool!!" And I answered, "yeah! Do you play?" And he said "yes, the piano :)"

And other time we were talking about painters, and when they asked me who my favourite was, I thought I would joke and said "oh, donatello :) because I love purple" and NO ONE got my tmnt ref and instead thought some Italian Renaissance was my favourite artist.

But back to the main issue, it was the school: First day our teacher handed us supplies from a closet and I was like "wow! Thank you! When these run out (BECAUSE WE'RE FKN ARTISTS) can we grab new ones in the closet?" And she said "no :) this is for the two years you are here" Like eight different hardness pens and a block of paper.

My worse experience was that every Tuesday was lecture day (although we didn't have grades nor exams) and all students gathered in a dark room to look at a PowerPoint about culture and people.

Fun in theory, but again executed so badly. My last lecture one teacher said "oh, and we gotten complaint not everyone can take notes during the presentation, so we thought one from each class could take notes and share with everyone else later :)! Any volunteer?"

Like ??? What? I raised my hand and said "you have a PowerPoint there? Why can't just share the presentation with everyone if they want to go back later?" AND SHE ANSWERED "that is a great idea, but unfortunately that would take weeks. So this is a better alternative:)"

TO THIS DAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE MEANT BY THAT

Smaller details ; expensive lunch, creepy teacher keeping images of women's privates on screen (and I'm an artist I don't mind nudity) pointless activities and little progression. I can't give it a fair judgement, I only lasted three weeks but jumped in the opportunity to leave.

Cherry on top was I had communicated in private with my mentor about quitting and the day it was decided I had to go back to get my stuff and have one last day and the teacher (not my mentor) exclaimed in the shadiest way "Sophie? I thought you quit" I hadn't told my friends yet.

Last day I replaced all my supplies with new from the fancy closet, and me and my friends stole coffee from the cafeteria during lunch (it was only included if you bought food) to celebrate my time. We all hated the system of the school, but all of us loved art.

My experience is mainly the environment the school was located in; upper-class pretending not to be. The people were alright and i got a few friends before quitting. It was also traditional, general art when I prefer digital art. The school, system, and teacher were hell, which is a shame because it took something I loved and turned it into all the things I hate. i don't regret going and I don't regret quitting when I did. Best thing to come out of it was my literal label Artschool Dropout

#artschool dropout

[drawingducktalesducks]

Can you tell a little more about the future AU May and June and their adoptive parents?

feverish and not even sure where that doodle came from. here's some odds and ends tho

people assume the fashion designer would like everything Just So, all neat and tidy, and the long haul fisherwoman who's off sailing for moths would be fine with controlled chaos

dead wrong

the INSTANT May docks in Duckburg her anxiety spikes because she can just FEEEEEL June's messy work space

May dropping off a bucket of sea serpent scales, filling the bucket with soapy water, whipping out a mop and dust pan, and attacking her little sister's room with all the wild, furious intensity of someone trying to bail out a sinking ship

Donald likes helping but usually gets tangled up in the vacuum cord at some point

June hides booby traps for May to find in her messes. Just to have a little fun

You know how much she's been missing her sister by how many and how complex the traps are

While May is busy cleaning (and clearing) her room, June has a tradition of going on May's ship and hiding nice little nick-knacks all over it- a cool rock, a candy bar, a cursed knife Webby brought home from her last adventure... just fun surprises to break up May's extremely regulated life at sea

Daisy knits May a new wool sweater every year, and May always tears up when she get it

Donald not only has a dozen pictures of all his kids in his wallet, he also has pictures of May's first catches and allllll the clothes June has ever designed.

He talks to May about sailing to make sure she's being safe and doing okay- He listens to June talk about clothes design and construction afterwards, to calm down and distract himself from thoughts of May fighting sea monsters.

June understands that fashion trends are a thing but since they're a thing that doesn't often align with her interests she chooses to ignore them and just make what she likes

She never gets super well known as a result and doesn't mind at all

Miss Glamour admires her confidence and ends up hiring her as an assistant after Daisy starts up her own business- which nobody understands, since June doesn't cater to Glamour at ALL and the vibe is more "doting grandmother happily has tea with her headstrong and irreverent grandchild"

Daisy and June do mother-daughter martial arts exercises every morning and evening, before and after work, to stave off the carpel tunnel, and Daisy still has no idea how she survived so long without it

May tries keeping a logbook while out sailing but usually ends up writing another paperback spy novel instead (penname: Gray Gullson) 

Beakly is a BIG fan

Beakly has no idea why May keeps wanting to have teatime chats with her about the old spy days but enjoys them quite a bit in any case

June kindly pretends not to understand why her sister needs to know if you could sew secrets or poisons into dress

and she puts May’s latest novel draft back into its hiding place when she accidentally finds it

...

she also edits the draft for spelling mistakes and leaves suggestions in the margins, in May's own handwriting, knowing it'll freak her sister out when SHE finds it

they make an effort to be together for the anniversary of Black Heron's "disappearance" (June paradropped onto May's ship from the Sunchaser once) but still aren't sure how they're supposed to spend it

they always call or visit with Daisy and Donald the day afterwards though

"...you ever think about what we would do, if she came back?"

"Disappoint her, probably. We're not exactly super villains."

"Yeah...."

"..."

"I hope we'd fight her."

"I think we would. I mean, if she tried to hurt mom or dad..."

"Or Webby or the Sabrewings."

"The boys too."

"Ducks and McDucks. Beakly."

"Launchpad."

"Gyro?"

"I guess pretty much anyone, really."

"We do have a lot of people to fight for these days."

"Maybe she'd be proud of us for that?"

"..."

"..."

"Probably not."

"Well I'm proud of us."

"Yeah. Me too."

"And I wouldn't trade Donald or Daisy for anything."

"Never."

"Ever."

"..."

"...I miss them."

"Same. Let's go home."

#ducktales (2017) #may duck #june duck #daisy duck #donald duck #future au ideas #h

[weirdcat1213]

volume 9 you say....hmm

i fear for my life to be completely honest

anyway HERE WE GO HERE ARE THE THOUGHTS

chap 1:

-geesus no pls no i dont wanna read anymore

-FLASHBACK TIME :D WIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

-3 days of crying is nothing when youre a trigun fan, am i right people :'D

-no im not fucking suffering cuz while all of that is happening the only thing on his mind is young livio NO IM FINE I SWEAR-

-lmao yeah wolfwood call him out >:D

-"you cant understand how i feel" my brother in christ YOURE SURROUNDED BY ORPHANS

-hmmmmmmmmm i mean im not sure if that applies here but who am i to tell him how he feels, sure buddy. happy for you

-geesus man not the dog, like....WHY THE DOG (i think ik why but still)

-tbh i would also go and ask for an explanation

-nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :c

-ah shit so we're here now oh fuck oh shit okokok cool

-ah yes, sweet bait actually, makes me cry every time

-"once this ark scare is over we'll be living the high life" yeaaaahhhh....about that.....

-YO LEAVE THE ORPHAN ALONE DAMN

-thanks livio :3

chap 2:

-about his age i think hes on his 20s mentally but he looks like hes on his 30s, so hes still an adult but yknow...younger

-oh his eye :0 i love that tiny window between his glasses and his face where you can see his eyes, makes me sad every time

-the coolest mf

-"worse" you say...i wonder who did that to him...

-fuck off, take those fucking tears somewhere else old man

-OOOOOOHHHHH THAT PANEL!!! SO GOOD SO GOOD

-THANKS AGAIN LIVIO (livio's good actions counter: 2 so far) BUT FUCK THAT OLD MAN

chap 3:

-:c

-HES THERE AND HES COMING I PROMISE

-STFU I SWEAR SHUT UP WOLFWOOD PLS JUST ENJOY YOUR STUPID CIGARRETE

-oh ok yeah here we go

-GEESUS MAN, i hope someone kick you ass later

-aw livio noooooo :c

-NAH NO PLS NO BROTHER FIGHT NO NO

-damn

chap 4:

-no that fucking title while theyre bleeding holy crap no stop it nightow stop it

-leave my man alone plsssssssssssssssss

-OH I FUCKING FELT THAT. WOLFWOOD REACHING FOR ANOTHER MAGAZINE AND LIVIO SHOOTING AT THE SAME MOMENT. I FELT THAT

-oh thats...thats kinda hot actually (i say while wolfwood fights for his little life)

-i love nightow taking his fucking time. yes sir i will enjoy a page of the vial dropping from his mouth without any dialogue, thank you sir

-PAIN :D

-SHUT UP OLD MAN

-"please survive"................................im gonna need a million years

chap 5:

-VASH BABY WHERE ARE YOU I NEED YOU

-demon....while hes killing his bro.....i have a limit thats all im saying

-ITS CALLED LOVE BITCH

-HE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE HONOR HE JUST WANTED TO PROTECT HIS HOME WTF

-STOP TALKING AND KILL HIM MAN CMONNNN

-oh....he looks so pretty tho. likes he came back to life and is surrounded by his servants....damn that goes hard...

-oh yeah, that arm that had no explanation whatsoever. its ok tho, nightow gets a pass

-ah fuck.....hes here...

-yeap, you could say thats a demon ig

chap 6:

-AH YES SAD FLASHBACK IN MENTAL PALACE MAKES ME GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER IM TELLING YA :D

-im sorry

-im jumping through the window idc anymore. poor livio man

-"fortitude".........yeah.....

-yeap that is scary as hell RUN WOLFWOOD GET TF OUTTA THERE

-DONT SMILE LIKE THAT YOU FREAK

-NONONONONONON SHUT UP WOLFWOOD SHUT UP

-STOPPPPPPPPPPPP

-STOPL PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE

-DIOS IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH

-orange if you animate this i will punch you but also kiss you in the lips

-i wonder what he means with that bell thats supposed to be tolling. hmmm. maybe its like a "hey come back to reality" kind of alarm thats not sounding

nightow you amazing bastard

#trigun #trimax #trigunbookclub #i cant #fuck #fuckkk #FUCK #el woowoo :c

[therhythmafterthesummer]

hellooo miss rhythmafterthesummer

I read the wereroomies chapter where chris and mum have an argument I'm slowly catching up

and I wonder if the other couples have arguments sometimes too? And how they solve them?

I love the series is very good im a little slow reading but I love it so much

hello hello

glad you're enjoying the series so far! it warms my heart💜💜💜💜💜

now, i feel like every couple has arguments every once in a while, and the wereroomies couples aren't any different.

here's what i think:

we saw minho and kitten argue in Dog Unleashed... kitten is one to jump to conclusions and minho one to avoid topics that make him uncomfortable altogether. so i feel like it's very common for one of them to walk out of the situation completely and make up after they cool off and have a civil conversation. unlike chris and pretty (who would give each other space and wait for the other to reach out to handle the situation), the opposite party will seek out the other after a while.

then we've got binnie and autumn... i feel like they argue more than the rest due to their clashing personalities (both are extremely competitive and want to win no matter what). i can see them enter these endless loops of arguments over stupid little things, but at some point one of them would realise they're arguing over something so small and request a truce/time out (kinda like how marshall and lily pause their arguments in how i met your mother? yeah, like that). they'll eventually find a common ground and talk things through and look on what to improve and how (these are both IT people, they'll build a whole-ass Service Improvement Plan in their heads lol).

hyunjin and felix don't argue much, but they are both sooooo petty when they do it. we're talking no speaking, cold shoulder treatment until they're both over it and make up. adding moss to the mix is interesting because i feel like she just... isn't mad for long. like, if they ever argue with hyunjin or felix, i'm sure they'd quickly try to discuss the situation and fix whatever wasn't working. most of the time moss will end-up being the middle person in a hyunlix argument tho, that's for sure.

#anon #ask #wereroomies ask #wereroomies headcanons

[disneyanddisneyships]

@gyubby99 here's my trauma recap

May be triggering so.....

Once upon a time~

My parents divorced when I was 3.

So I ssit h houses a lot which is really taxing because you have two homes but your parents wants you to consider their house your real home.

Anyways, along the time in there my aunt stays with me, my mom, and my sister for a bit. She's off her mess so she trips, falls and cracks her head open in the bathroom while 3 year old me is staring at the blood. (I don't remember this tho. Hence the thing I said abt forgetting trauma because it was too traumatic)

Don't remember anything until I'm in elementary school.

So at 8 years old I got made fun of and bullied a lot.

It's when my depression kicked in.

Got made fun of for my eyebrows, my curly hair, my laugh, and my weight.

Then my older sister moves out and never really talks to me again.

At the elementary school I'm at, my then best friend starts to constantly Dutch and abandon abandon for this other girl.

I begged my mom to move schools.

Then I finally moved elementary schools.

Everything was so great at the new one..... I made friends.... one by the name of Christian.....

I had two best friends, and a crush on this guy who was also a teachers kid like me.

One day, my two best friends don't wanna play what I want, but I already had social anxiety at the age of 9 so I didn't wanna fo anything new. They were fine with that so I turned around to get the stuff we usually do, I turn back and they ditched me... instant flashbacks to the other school.

We're friends again yadda yadda.

Elementary school ends.... I go to middle school....

One of the best friends in as talking about has a twin sister...

Her twin sister hated me for some unknown reason.... all she did was be mean to me.... my teachers were awful (except for my art teacher)... then my best friend and her sister moved to a different school....

I made new friends.. and oh hey, my old friend Chris is there. He does the weird "Yes, No, maybe" thing to qn eraser and asks it if we'd ever be in a relationship. Lmao. It said yes.

The year passes. Chris moved schools.

I had friends that were bad for my mental health. I started self harming.

But it's okay because I had 4 amazing best friends and a few other good friends.

This is when I get my first boyfriend.

He was okay.... I guess... I had art class with him and at the 8th grade dance he said he liked me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes.

But over the summer he ghosted me and my mom had to tell me to give up....

Freshman year of high school.

My dad gets a girlfriend and we all go up to see my grandparents in which my grandma and my dad's girlfriend were teasing me for having a fictional crush. It made me angry

I text the group chat with 3 of my best friends because I need a stress reliever.

My best friend just says "no" to the meme. Doesn't read it, doesn't care.

I blow up because I'm sick of disrespect. "I look at every single meme you guys send. I'm sick of you," is what I said.

My best friend blocks me.

I text my other friends trying to get her to unblock me so I can apologize. She unblocks me, I apologize. She doesn't accept it, calls me selfish and says "and you've lost 2 friends because this person doesn't like you either". I confront the other friend and she calls me manipulative, so I block her.

Me and the other friend didn't stay good friends for long (but they're cool now. We're in the same chour class. They have a Tumblr that I follow)

Um.... then I get closer with other people. Specifically my now former friends.... and.... my other friends ex....

I got so desperate to be loved that me and him started dating.

It was a secret and I didn't tell my mom....

Until she found out by looking at the bill of my phone....

Then she found out I had been self harming.... that was.. traumatic all on its own.

Anyways. Covid hit, and.. he moved schools for sophomore year..... over text we sexted a lot.... I was... desperate for some form of love....

But when I tried with boundaries... it.... I felt bad because when I said I didn't want to, I thought he'd hate me.. I thought hed leave me.....

I didn't even know what was happening was considered assault at the time...

The thing that really stuck with me was when he took his (small) dick out and brought my hand to it. I pulled away but he just grabbed my hand again and made me touch him....

Anyways um....

Later on he starts ghosting me.... a lot..... then one day after not hearing from him for 2 weeks he questions our relationship...

We breakup after 2 years... and we break up right before i go to Disneyland with my family.

He wanted to still be friends but I said i needed time.

I have a breakdown in the hotel at Disney.

And after about a week he texts me and asks if we can still be friends, I say no.

He starts trying to manipulate me. Calls me a bitch. I block him.

I get back from the vacation and I have two friends supporting me. Christian and my other unnamed friend.

I find out Chris likes me and had a crush on me in middle school...... he asks me out but I say no because I just got out of a negative relationship.. so I gave myself the entire summer to lull that over..

Then he asks me out again when senior year starts and I say yes.

He helps me realize that my ex assaulted me.... he also told the counselor by "accident" and I had to tell my parents....

Things go fine... but....

8 months later Chris starts to get flaky. He ghosts me for a while at a time (nowhere near the other guy though)

Until I find out that he told the counselor i was suicidal, and then he broke up with me.

And here we are.

[winderlylandchime]

The Man, the Myth, the Legend is tired and in pain but that’s his own fault and you will see why: ‘OH HOT GUY ALERT! Emmett..baby..he is wearing denim on denim with a leather jacket, if that doesn’t scream gay, idk what does. GAY! WHAT DID I SAY!’ He just paused the episode and walked to the tv to look at Justins art ‘THATS bc you accepted a boy who wasn’t beaten yet. So of course his work was different, sherlock! Now stop being a prick and let my boy draw on his computer! We expect our students to what now? What did he just say about excelling at everything? Just bc he’s disabled doesn’t mean he won’t be amazing?! Oh just say you don’t accept disabled people you old fart! Fuck you and your tradition! I hate this clown..oh i guess the clown has some brain after all!..BRIAN! Dont put any ideas in his head.. oh he wants him to succeed and be the best and do good and this is a lot to handle on so many pain meds’ ‘why is linds being a bitch? Since when is she so uptight? Oh, the silence is LOUD…BRIAN WILL YOU GRAB THAT AND THEN HE JUST DOES? OH HE IS GONE. THAT MAN IS IN LOVE! HE IS SO IN LOVE AND NOBODY EXCEPT ME FOR SOME REASON SEES THIS *looks at me like he just realized im there too* can you see it?!’ ‘Okay dudes, that was not chill! You don’t do that to your friends. It’s fun to be jokey but that was not cool, yall are better than that…are you tho? MICHAEL BET 5 WEEKS?! i guess people do change. Tell them debbie! At least she gets it, even if she only gets it once every 17 episodes’…‘Ben better be better than David. Oh is he gonna be the one..i mean he’s asking him to talk about comics..david hid them. I hated that. Okay Benny boy, you can stick around, I’ll allow it but you get 3 strikes!’ ‘Okay goatee dude, chill the fuck out. People are allowed to have relationships and still be the hottest thing around. Don’t make him self conscious, i have worked overtime to try and get him to admit to being in love! DONT RUIN THIS FOR ME!….NOOOO HE RUINED IT FOR ME!…MICHAEL! WHAT THE FUCK MICHAEL WHO JUST SAYS THAT TO A PERSON? Just when i was about to be in your corner, someone please hit him! You cant just say fucked up shit and then say sorry! Thats not how that works!’ Then he felt bad for Mikey bc of the school thing and then he hated that he felt bad bc hes mad at him ‘Oh we are getting hot and HEAVY! Bri Bri, i am impressed! You knew he was upset and why! Oh so that guy was nothing but Justin is something? MY DUDES WE SERIOUSLY NEED TO LEARN HOW TO TALK. Aww he doesn’t want Brian to change. Now that’s love! Oh COME ON, I CANT FUCKING WIN EVEN FOR A MINUTE! Im a good person, i deserve good stuff, throw me a bone ffs’ ‘aw Benny boy is listening! Oh he is way better than david! If youre the one, you can stay! Just do me a favor and make mike more tolerable, i am begging for the sake of my well being..that was sweet mike, now give me brian and justin again!’ He had to go and take his last dose of pills for today and he just looked at the ceiling and flapped his arms around while making no noise at all, so id say he’s handling it well. ‘Listen, i am 100% straight. But THIS *points to a paused screen of Brian in the green light in the beginning of the non confession scene* is one beautiful man! I AM INTRIGUED And I would not mind him hitting on me.’ I made a comment that he is now 54 years old to which he puts his hand up in my face and goes ‘I’ll get back to you on that’ and just continued to watch. 1/2 of 2x06

Dear sweet anon - I am SCREAMING over him asking if you see that Brian is in love too. Yes, Brother Anon, that's why we're all here 20 years later. Still sobbing over them.

And yes, Gale Harold is the most beautiful man to ever man. I have a straight crush on him and even at 54 he could get it. The green light scene is one of my favorite. UGH that profile.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

[mikoriin]

100 OC questions: for Heather, 1 5 7 22 27 33 38 44 52 67 74 89 90 99

WOW a lot!! im glad u wanna know so much about heather!!

1. What common traits do you share with your oc? What about them is the least like you?

we're both kind, queer, and we both admire our mothers. however heather is very close to her religion because she admires her parents so much who are devout. she's a little more modern with her beliefs tho. but even still, im definitely not religious at all so i cant rly relate to her in that sense haha

5. What is your oc’s patience like? When waiting for something, are they able to sit still or do they fidget? How do they fidget?

she's sooo patient. she's actually a pacifist so its hard for her to get into the "fighting" scene when she becomes apart of the group magically, but once she realizes she's mainly there for defense and assist she warms up to the battles. she doesnt fidget very much, if she's waiting for an appointment or on someone, she'll simply pull out a book from her bag and start reading. if she doesnt have a book she'll start thinking of her schedule for the next week and planning everything in her planner, or maybe even just reading wiki articles on her phone or playing bejeweled on her phone lol

7. Does your oc collect anything? What about of knowledge or facts? How big is their collection?

ive never really thought about this before, but i can see her collecting plants. she's one of those people that cherishes them and names them, talks to them, takes amazing care of them and can bring a dead plant back to life. it brings her peace knowing she's surrounded by breathing life and it makes her feel a little less lonely. she'd definitely know a lot about lots of different species of flora and various plant life out there. her room is definitely filled to the brim with greenery haha

22. How easily does your oc fare in the sun? Do they tan or burn easily? Are they completely unaffected?

if its super bad out i can see her tanning a bit, but she never burns. mostly she's unaffected. her hijab rly helps keep her face cool haha

27. What is your oc’s sleep schedule like? Are they a night owl, an early morning riser, or do they get any sleep at all?

early morning riser definitely! she wakes up at a whapping 7 am every day even the weekends and then anything past 10 pm is way past her bedtime haha

33. What five objects or things could be expected to be found on your oc’s person at any time? Why?

planner & pen, because she likes to keep a schedule

candy, because elise gets the munchies for something sweet

pepper spray because she knows no woman should be without one

wallet because i feel its obvious

a spare book to read in her spare time

phone and charger

house keys

travel sized Quran

i absolutely listed everything she normally carries in her bag on a day to day

38. What does your oc do to relax? Any specific activities? Why?

she loves to spend time in her garden! she's got a little section for her garden in her back yard where she grows fresh veggies and herbs. sometimes she'll talk to all her crop because she feels itll help them grow healthy and delicious if the plant feels loved. she also likes to read and sew!

44. How violent is your oc? Or are they more a pacifist? To what lengths will they go to start/avoid a conflict?

heather is 100% a pacifist as ive said previously, so she's generally the one always trying to keep the peace. she and csilla would be the ones avoiding personal conflict the most, but in battle csilla is more aggressive while heather is more docile and not willing to harm anyone because of her personal values and morals. she's a healer and the team shield, she's here to protect her friends and comrades. However, if it was for someone like elise, sinie, or daren, then heather would be more willing to face conflict head on. and honestly, the fact that she's a pacifist magical girl is such a fun concept to play with when you think about it because at some point, she's going to have to fight in some way. so finding the way she would "fight" is gonna be fun

52. In what ways does your oc cope with anger? How easily angered are they? Do they lash out?

heather is very docile and doesnt get angry often, however when she is she doesnt even need to tell you because all she needs to do is give you That Look. which is rly just a look of sadness and disappointment and u dont want that from heather. like personally, if heather ever told me she was disappointed in me i'd cry lmao

67. How many people does your oc prefer to be around? A crowd, a few friends, or all on their own?

heather is good in a crowd, but she does prefer to be around her own personal circle. her circle is definitely going to grow when csilla, agitha, urania, and eventually everett are added to the mix, which is something she's going to have to come to terms with that her personal circle is kind of a crowd. but she'll be content because its a crowd of people she cares about and fights for/with.

74. How would your oc act when drunk? What about when really, really tired?

oh man she'd be sooo lovey dovey with elise. texting elise like "where'd you go my love?" and elise is like babe im right next to you. heather has had way too much to drink but is always in when its time to take another shot. take a shot, choose ur chaser, kiss ur girlfriend. that is what heather would be like drunk haha

if she was very tired she would simply sleep. she does not fight sleep when she is tired, she feels zzzs and she is Out

89. What does your oc’s laugh sound like? How often do they laugh? Are they easily amused?

heather's laugh in my head sounds like a little melodic giggle. like...a soft hum or something. heather's voice is very soft and a little higher pitched, but her words are carried with grace and when she laughs its like a river. she laughs often too so its like music when she's around.

90. Does your oc have any objects they could never give up? Why is it so important to them? Do they have any family heirlooms?

idk if this counts, but her hijab maybe? like its soo important to her by this point in her life, but its not rly so much of an object...so im rly not sure haha but i cant rly think of any family heirlooms at the moment!

99. What is your oc’s morning routine usually like? What do they eat for breakfast (if they have breakfast)? What time do they usually get up in the morning?

she wakes up at 7 sharp every morning, washes her face, and makes breakfast. she usually eats veggies, a bit of eggs, and tea for breakfast on the weekdays, but on the weekends she spices it up with some adasi!

100 oc questions

#ocs #heather #affinity

[neuroticboyfriend]

I dunno if asks like this are okay, but is there any chance you'd wanna try and be friends? I know that's not an immediate process, just if you have interest in chatting or w/e, we're also the type of system that's like "if you message us once every three years we'll be like oh hey nice to see you again how are things going" with no pressure (and are guilty of sometimes doing the same ourselves oop).

Anyway if the answer is no, no worries, we always appreciate people setting boundaries, but if yes you are welcome to message us ^^

being friends would be cool! altho i am very shy and dk how to like. talk to ppl idk well. but ive seen u around in my notes and u seem cool c: ty for asking, i feel happy for it.

also i saw ur rb of the severe autism post and while i did not read all, i do agree with some of the criticism u made. i felt similar when reading it but rb it because i felt like id be doing something wrong if i didnt rb. i still do think the way high support needs people are being treated, sometimes even within the community, is wrong tho.

#asks #yaybox #moots #we are moots now !

[fangbeach]

I don't know how to explain this. Whatever happens to your brainwave state when it alters and shifts as you drift into sleep... I was drifting and Death Note style voice (keep in mind, I don't really watch this show often) popped into my head and showed me a moment from when I was 16 and my youth pastor came to see me in the hospital after trying to take every pill in my house to try to unalive myself. The voice is saying, "I'm a demon. I've known you since this point. He knew too, he just didn't want to say anything. We're here to have fun forever." This wasn't my voice. This wasn't my subconscious. This sounds pretty corny and cringe like disgruntled teenager's reddit post, but I'm just trying to recall this montage as sequentially as it happened. It sounds like the gritty backstory for a really shitty marvel movie.

This youth pastor told me that I was saying NO in an otherworldly voice getting my stomach pumped at the time. This is a real life thing that happened. Did I come into the world this way? How does this work karmically? I could've picked up a dark passenger. Maybe it can only talk to me in that natural altered brain wave state. It sounded calm like Death Note. It was alarming and calming. The fact that it was calming is what freaked me out. Dude, I don't know where I came from - none of us do really. But I had some milestones of existentialism at early ages and when I was a teenager I was really pissed off that I was incarnated. Really pissed off that I had to be here. Like I was here to crash a party.

Is this news to me as a possibility? Or motivation to make things as good as I can possibly make them. Demons torment. This one sounded comforting. There's not exactly a guidebook to consult for something like this. Especially not in the south.

What would Jung say? Even he supposedly had his fair share of occult-like experiences - being inhabited from forces of another plane ✨ (you're going to be all like, 'stoppp trying to normalize daemons and make them sound cool like you do with beer when you lie to yourself fammmm). I've seen some crazy stuff in your eyes too - so you were probably waiting for me to come to this realization too. The demon is probably pleased that I have enough willpower to take care of myself rn). I'm going to get some ultimate perspective with the lifestyle discipline.

"You're not going through it, it's going through you

And once it's all gone, in will come the new you

With a different perspective, from the same point of view

Fully unaffected by the old truth you once knew

Connected at the roots to the trunk to the branches

To the leaves and the way they fly away in wind dances

A frantic seesaw; free-fall in midair that represents

The floating folly of us all being here

We are complicated creatures, huh?"

Anything or anyone that tries to take the wheel from you in your life is not your friend tho. Demons are deceptive. They might be here to have fun and have a good time, but they're here to use your temple for their bidding while you sit idle in the passenger seat and peace TF out. I'm the perfect host. Mental illness and wrecked with insecurities to feed on.

I'm going to question everything for a little while.

#dreams #dream journal #analysis #sleep paralysis #subconscious #transformation #trauma #carl jung #shadow work #sleep alterations #death note #existentialism #KarmicJourney #DemonEncounter #spiritual journey #tumblr thoughts #PhilosophicalReflections #mental health awareness #deep thoughts #existential crisis #self discovery #inner journey #thought provoking #metaphysical #experience #darkpassenger #jungian psychology #theta waves #Youtube

[diah-the-demon]

yeah this really feels like we're somewhere on stage talking into a microphone as people pass by and can listen, but yeah agreed, it feels weird when it's not tumblr skljdlsk

ooh I hope you can go there then!! I've had one in my area for a few years that was star wars, star trek and doctor who focused and it was so much fun,, unfortunately with covid coming around it has ended </3 missing it greatly

and oh no D: yeah unfortunately the kids toys break so easily which surprises me ngl,,, you'd expect kids toys to be a bit more sturdy given that kids will play around with it wildly and ksljdslk omg that sounds adorable ngl!! I think I know which masks you mean, I still see kids wearing them every now and then around halloween or carnival

yeah,,, I've gottten a tiny bit better by now (and by that I mean: I will get it but feel bad about it instead of not getting it and feeling sad about that klsjdlsk) I hope you'll eventually get better with it as well! it's so sad how much stuff like this can linger on your brain TT-TT

yeah I think it said 7 more days, so I hope I'll have enough time bcs her shedule changed and now she's at work so I can't ask her TT-TT hopefully it'll last til the weekend when we could order it (if she says yes skldjslk I doubt she wouldn't but still skjdlsk)

okay, yeah, your bookshelf is definitely already cool! But yeah the helmets are going to make it even better, no matter where exactly they will be placed klsdjl

yeah you coudl probably figure it out on your own once you get the basics, even if it is for another set of armor at first! With the basic understanding that should definitely be doable!!

and hmm, I've not build armor yet myself (will have to do so eventually tho,,, I wanna cosplay one of HI3 Himekos battlesuits after all ksjdsl) but it does already sound like a solid idea!! but yeah until you know if it works or not you have an idea at least so that's a good start!

yeah im still not used to it but i think its quite nice to have smth like a constant conversation like this thats lasted almost a full day now jdsljkds, i think its a nice change of pace jdsklkjds

hopefully i can get there when its being held! im not sure when it happens each year but il look that up later and see if i can find dates (hopefully im not gonna be busy when it happens dsjlkkdsj) and awww that sucks, i hope they come back eventually it would suck if it died off forever </3

yeah idk why they were so fragile, they weren't big so i think they were probably childrens sized ones that we had, it doesnt make much sense to expect kids to not hit 2 lightsabers together in a duel like come on

IT WAS! i dont think i have any pictures of it sadly </3 i wouldnt have even had a phone yet probably i think so pictures would probably be on my mums phone

the mask was so cool, it even had a voice changer in it! it was fucking awesome, when you breathed it would replace it with the darth vader breathing sound AND it would even make you sound like vader when you spoke!! idk how something from when i was a kid was able to do something like that but it was awesome. sadly the voice changer in it died a while ago, it still slightly worked but not consistently last time i put it on D:

yeah hopefully we both fully get over it eventually, i probably start to until either her or i move out, but yeah its so weird how it stick in your head so long, i need to refresh my brain so i can get it out lkdsjdjsl

dont want to make you feel like you need to do it sooner but it said 7 days yesterday and also today.. i didnt check how long it was when i bought my stuff (i bought the stuff on the 5th) but it might've been 7 days still.. altho i guess by the weekend it would still be 7 days after that.. hopefully it is still on by the time you talk to her!! (just checked and it might be going on until they completely sell out?? its a clearance sale so maybe? idk id probably do it sooner rather than later just incase tho)

Oh btw when you do place your order they will email you to verify the card (send a picture of the last 4 digits to confirm. It is a little bit sus but ive seen no one say this one is a scam so i dont think it is, plus they cant rlly do much with only the last 4 digits)

thank you!! it will def look so much cooler when i get the helmets in! still need to figure out where i can put the 2 extras apart from ontop of the bookshelf cause too many on there doesnt seem too good idk

yeah that sounds like the plan il do for this, try the basics, might try doing clone trooper armour to begin with if its not harder than mandalorian cause il have captain rex's helmet! imagine a female clone trooper tho that'd be so cool (totally not so i can check out her tits shush jdskls, i mean there was a female clone of jango but she isnt a trooper, and is a child since i dont think she had the accelerated growth the others did? idk not that caught up in that bit of lore)

i think its probably what they are going to say to do, i doubt they would stitch/pin it right to the bodysuit cause that would be a pain to take off (imagine having to go to the toilet after putting it on that would be so annoying to take off skdjdslkj) if it all goes well il share the progress so you can take some tips on building the armour for himeko jlsdkdjs!!

#lexy!

[shoyoist]

NOOO THE YELLINGGG i bet hanma doesn't even think he's being harsh cuz he's just havng fun with you guys AHHAHA it would be all

k : "can you stop that?!?"

h : "stop what"

k : "acting like that"

h: "how do i act??"

k: "like an asshole"

but the jiu jitsu thing is so true tho since in film (at least to me ASDFSD) a lot of small sorry dean assassin archetype characters use a lot of jiu jitsu and even in tr rindou uses jiu jitsu!

sidenote tho: is dean an assassin?? i kinda get that vibe from them in this selfship and its really cool like people honestly don't expound on themselves too much in their selfships likee :( tell me about youu yk??

and who knows! maybe hanma thinks its cute when you're squaring up to him like that HAHAH

- 🦆 (OH NOO this was a really long one i'm so sorry)

shuji doesn't think he's doing anything wrong but actually he's scaring the three of us to BITS 😭

and yes! one of dean's roles (along with shuji, because we're in kisaki's team remember!) is to play the part of tenjiku's personal assassin. instead of hiring independent hitmen and subjecting our organization to that risk, dean and shuji clean up after traitors— dean takes care of things as quietly and carefully as she can, but shuji likes making a mess 💀 and they also do the stalking/tailing whenever we suspect a mole or if we think we've got an enemy on our trail.

+ they do special recruitments! like me for instance. when izana asked kisaki for a solution to their lack of reliable medical assistance, kisaki did some digging and discovered me, and dean and shuji did a background check on me personally to make sure i was clean before kisaki, kakucho & izana met with me to talk me into joining.

i dont do much work out on the field. my primary role is to deal with any injuries that the executives (and the whole upper echelon in general) come to me with. apart from that, i help the other execs with paperwork, and i continue my personal work in the medical field now within tenjiku, but when they bring someone in to be questioned? i do that<3

i play good cop and shuji usually plays bad cop, except it's me calmly asking a question and then gesturing to shuji and telling whoever it is that "if you dont give me the answers i want, you'll be dealt with. accordingly." and shuji grins down at them from where he's standing behind me, holding an axe over his shoulder<33

he got the axe specially for times like this (he's only actually used it once or twice, it's too messy to actually fight someone with that thing) and he just waves it around, circles our captive while holding the axe blade so close to their throat, just bringing in the element of fear!

other times, it's dean that plays bad cop. dean is a lot more violent than shuji is (we dont allow shuji to be violent towards the people we're questioning. he goes overboard 🙄).

i tell dean beforehand exactly where to use their knives to cut the captive open where it'll bleed enough to scare but not to actually become fatal, and if they act up while i'm questioning them, dean follows my instructions and uses their knives to make thin, precise cuts that bleed seemingly "too much."

then i tell the captive that dean stabbed them specifically in a place that will make them bleed out and die (the scary amount of blood coming out is a convincing factor for this lie) and that i'll save them only if they hurry up and answer my questions.

it works every single time! kisaki loves me for it because it's such a good plan<3 all of tenjiku just comes to me every time they have a difficult time cracking a captive, and it only brings my name higher on the bar. it's like "rekha ramirez from yokohama tenjiku?? people say she has a way of forcing open anyone's mouth."

so the moment i step into the room, it instills fear into them. they're so afraid of what's happening, and when i get dean to cut them open and lie to their faces about how they're going to bleed out and die within a few minutes, they believe me! in their desperation to be saved and their terrible fear of being on the brink of death, they honestly tell me everything they know.

and i tell dean to patch them up (or i call shuji in for the kill, depending on what the captive has done or confessed) and go write up my lil report and hand it to kisaki, who gives me a kiss for the good work<33

++ hehe dw about making your asks long! my answers are always super long anyway 😭 i hope you're enjoying this HAHA<3

#‶｡ଘ.*+ — [ loveletter ]. #‶｡ଘ.*+ — from : [ 🦆 anon! ].

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

#27

I took.. a lot. the night before all this went down i had already taken 700 but i topped that off with a 600 yesterday morning. I think I woke up at like 4 am-ish something annnd took pills at about 5ish. Tho yesterday I ALSO did 1.6k at 2. So i think for the day I took 2.2k. unless we're also counting the late night one from the day before. Though this'll probably be first and last I take a lot at once like that. I'm still feeling it 20 hours later

(wrote this late august 27th but didn't wanna proofread til now so keep that in mind when I mention days)

AFTERMATH

The first two doses were casualish to me. I used to go 600 at max but nowadays it ain't uncommon for me to do 850-1k. I was mostly the same so no one noticed. They never do tbh. 1.6 is the highest I've ever gone and I was still able to play it off.

As far as symptoms. I've kinda lost my appetite. I'm sure it'll be all back once my body's had the chance to get all the dph out my system but for now I don't really eat. Tho I'm blubbery soo it works out ig. That plus I get random sharp pains in my heart + in my stomach every once in a while. Those I already know why ofc but I also get a milder version in my arms and legs too. I think I've been pretty okay for me to have taken what.. 10 times the normal dose. lemme check

..

it was 32 doses worth

goddamn.. it's starting to freak me out nowadays. That'd be like me getting a perscription but guzzling all the pills for the month in one sitting. (tmi in advance sorry sorry) With me taking THAT much at once you think if somehow someway someone gets my blood they would get high off it? or at the very least treat their allergies. That'd be kinda cool tbh

Ah there was one more thing I noticed. My perception of time ain't the greatest when I'm high anyway. I'm sure it's cause how hyperfocused I am on staying awake plus dph making it hard to remember shit anyway. But on the 1.6.. shit went to the extreme. It was honestly like when I was taking that benadryl-tylenol mix. I'm sure it's mostly due to how much had to be floating around that but man..

When I first started feeling it feeling it I would just be losing my train of thought a lot which led to me forgetting what I was talking about mid sentence a good 70% of the time. Then shit progressed to where I was blacking out randomly. I don't know what exactly happens when I black out. I'm assuming I just continue doing what I was doing and it's really just me forgetting what I just did. But another part of me wonders if I taking mini naps or something. I didn't really get much sleep so maybe my body was forcing me to rest for a bit? I'd black out for anywhere from 30 mins to an hour and a half at a time. I even started hallucinating again which was weirdd.

They were all tame luckily. The most problematic one was me thinking R texted me. I coulda sworn I saw her say I love you on disc. I have a different color for her notifs so I was damn near CERTAIN since it got the color right as well. I still held off on talking to her just incase she tried to talk talk and put the pieces together once she saw how off I was being. I felt like an ass at the time but when I checked the next day I saw that my most recent convo was still the old friend I was otp with. Even if she had deleted it she would've been at the top regardless.

The only other notable hallucinations was the occasional phantom bug. 9 times out of 10 it was just a weird looking shadow but there was a few times where I thought I saw spider legs too. Tho that honestly wasn't toooo. I'd rather have that than texting R about some shit she never did lmao

NOTES/EMOTIONS

I will be mentioning self unaliving a lot in this section so don't upset yourself tryna read, alr?

Ah.. I kinda did say I'd explain my flakiness annnd the shit I'm upset about now semi relates so here we are.

It's hard to explain. You always hear people be yourself no matter. Not to say anything is wrong with that. I just.. I don't know how to interpret that if that makes any sense. I feel like atp I'm only still here to spare my family's feelings (with that including R of course) so it throws me in a thought loop

On one hand, I'm only alive to spare their feelings. I have no real goals, dreams, or plans as far as what I want to do next. So it really wouldn't matter if I just went with whatever they want me to do even if I hate it. Not like I have any better ideas. It makes me feel like I should take all the judgment I'm flung and change accordingly. If I'm alive for them, wouldn't that make the most sense? I'm gonna come back to rock bottom no matter what i do. I might as well just do it for appearance's sake

Tho on the other, if they want me to really do whatever I and only I wanted, would they be angry if I left? Would they understand the struggle and misery I've gone through trying to keep it together for them? It feels stupid to let myself be tethered to this place for people that don't even know me really. I'm sure they'll be hurt for a time sure but.. is that a good enough reason to still be here? I can only leech for so long. I have no plans to go back to college as I am. scared. going from effortless 3.75 to a barely gotten, struggle filled 1.7 killed that for me. I can't afford to keep trying and trying until I hit this magical brain switch that suddenly makes all that easy. Im already nearly 20k in debt from that single semester alone.

And what's so frustrating about this circle thinking is that i KNEW it'd go down like this. I've been wanting to kill myself since 3rd grade. Even with my reasoning being vastly different throughout all this time, at the end of the day, I've been treating my suicide as an inevitability. I get so worked up over any and everything, I have to push and fight myself every fucking day to do the bare minimum, and I never wanted to be in a position where I'm stuck doing something I hate just to get by every month. It's just too much.

I've set various age goals throughout the years to keep me from doing anything too stupid. Originally it was 14 so I could get a job and get better supplies for that sort of thing. Then it was 16 cause by then I was supposed to have a car and I would be allowed to date at that age. Then the latest one was 18 and 6mo. 6mo probably sees random but it made sense to me anyway. Seniors get out of school bout 2 week- a month earlier than everyone else. So I damn near had the house to myself for a little while. Then even once they went on summer break, I still was chilling since I didn't move into my dorm til early october. So I had damn near 5mo to do whatever I wanted with hella open house money to fund it. I figure, since I had all that money and have months and months to do whatever AND im finna be living by myself, if I still wanted to do it, it is what it is

But now look at me. 19 annd nearly 3 months and I'm worse than ever before. It makes my stress tolerance so much lower. Anytime I get upset I turn it back onto myself. If I had just got it over with back then, people wouldn'tve had to see me degrade into the person I am today. If I would have done it back then, I wouldn't need to stress about college, work, money, love, or whatever else. I never wanted any of this. I just wanted to do what was expected of me to keep the peace. But now even when I'm trying to do that, it's not working. It was bound to happen someday tbh. I wasn't gonna be able to half ass my way through life forever. Still.. it crashed and burned quicker than I thought

I feel so trapped. I don't know what to do anymore. Everyone is gonna see it all. My stepmom actually did just called me out for sitting around for this long lmao. I guess it has been a while. I came back for winter break in late December and here I am still. No money and no school. I keep replaying her words over and over again. It slightly pissed me off initially. I've withdrew so much within these last few months to the point where it's rare for either of them to see me more than maybe.. once a day. Plus I've TOLD her I've been struggling for years now and nothing has changed.

Told her I might be struggling with some form of adhd after seeing how hard my workflow was thrown off since quarantine started. Then like 2-3 mo later after radio silence on that stuff she asked me a few questions about therapy preferences then when I told her she told me to book it myself when I'm 18.. Then another time when I was arguing with my dad over something and she started screaming in my face which drove me to a panic attack that she ignored and continued to yell at me until my sisters butted in. She tried to yell at them to but I think I freaked them out with my crying so they didn't budge. Oh yeah. And that middle school thing where I ratted myself out anonymously for being suicidal and actively writing out drafts for it. I didn't like the therapist I had so I stopped going and it was never mentioned again.

Tangent. Sorry. I bring all this up to say it irritated me since I've been asking for help on and off for years now and no one listened. I'm always written off as overdramatic or whiney, or hormonal or whatever th and now I can see she just thinks I'm just a lazy fucking bum. It doesn't even make sense. I've said this was an issue of mine but since I wasn't failing in high school and I don't boohoo in front of them, it was never addressed so why is anyone shocked that this is how I turned out? Why am I now the failure of the family

Whatever anyway. i thought on it longer and I can't put the blame on them entirely. At the end of the day, I should've fought more to get the help I needed before shit hit the fan. I dunno. I've always been like this.

Ig it doesn't really matter now does it?

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I'm getting backed further and further into this corner and it's going to blow up soon. I know it. I don't want to be around for that. Too much to uncover. I've fucked myself so may times thinking it wouldn't matter because of xyz thing but all of its coming back. It makes me want to go even further tbh. It feels like my only choice. No one will take it seriously until then. Even then, I'd probably go for round 2 just to do it. I am genuinely.. tired.

#dph #benadryl #diphenhydramine #dph addiction #vent #trip reports #excessively long