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#which is soooo dumb and unhelpful
mrs-theirin · 3 months
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i am going. to throw up
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snail-is-wired · 4 years
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I think I figured out part of why retail makes me so anxious,
I have to have a certain personality for it, I have to have a strong filter.
I have to be friendly, but not say too much (but I don't know what 'too much' is), so I don't know what to say and everyone else seems to know.
I have to be serious but not too serious, because I also have to be friendly.
I have to follow the rules, but people expect me to bend them sometimes, even if im not supposed to, and coworkers bend them sometimes but I don't know when that's okay or if at all.
If a coworker starts chatting with me I'm supposed to multi-task, which seems easy enough for everyone else but I get caught between one and the other and end up in trouble for talking instead of working.
If something sudden comes up then I'm caught off guard and can't think suddenly, like when a phone rings or boss comes in randomly, or I'm needed when I was scheduled to be off. So then I look like I just don't want to when I am very anxious and it's hard to think.
And I work soooo slowly which makes coworkers angry and bosses angry and customers angry and I'm afraid of making people angry. So I go faster but make a LOT of mistakes and then people are angry that I keep making mistakes and I just can't win there.
And to top it all off, this stuff makes more enemies than friends so people in my personal life are angry that I'm not making friends, even at work, where it's supposedly the easiest place to make friends as an adult but I wouldn't know.
And I don't want to be unhelpful or rude, but I don't know the rules and don't have any good explanation for not knowing, so I just look dumb and lazy.
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unoutan · 7 years
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you still taking prompts? what about shindeku with some "i was randomly assigned a college roommate and he's actually super cute" AU 👀?
Also posted on my Ao3, so be sure to show me some love there there too! Enjoy reading and I hope you like this!
“Hitoshi-kun,” His mother’s voice raised to a higher tone from the phone squished against his ear with his raised shoulder. The damn key isn’t working for him, he’s struggling with trying to open it, and around both his shoulders and back are heavy bags. “Be sure to be wary of your surroundings at all times in the subway.”
That is an important tip.
“Yes mom,” The door opened and Shinsou held his phone again with his hand, rolling his eyes at the door and throwing his key on a bright orange chair next to a desk. Shinsou dropped his two hand carry bags, threw off his dark red backpack and wheeled his two huge suitcases into his empty room. His roommate didn’t arrive yet and that made him secretly happy since he could choose which bed and side of the room he wants first. “I will be wary at all times. I’ll even buy some mace.”
Even though his quirk will do just fine, but extra precautions are always great.
“And Hitoshi-kun, please don’t stay out too late or sleep too late or drink too much or something. Make sure to have a good nights sleep everyday.” The worry in his mother grew and he had to calm her down.
“Yes mom, please don’t worry too much. I’ll try to sleep well, not be out too late, and you know I don’t drink anyway…plus there is a strict age limit here and zero tolerance.” Also that the Asian blush is the bane of his existence since one drink for Shinsou Hitoshi and he’s a goddamn tomato three sips in.
“And eat well!” His mother scolded him and he could imagine her finger waving at him all the way back in Japan. “You’re tall and fit, but you still need to eat properly and not just one meal all the time like Katsudon! Oh! Find a good Japanese eatery there for a taste of home!”
“I love you, Mom and I will, but first I have to figure out how to use the subway! I’ll take this step-by-step. Talk to you later okay?” Shinsou tried to sound as cheerful as possible for his mother worrying for him on his phone, but his stomach was feeling funny. He’s nervous…or hungry and tired. It’s all three since he just arrived by taxi from the airport a few minutes ago.
“I love you too. Call me when you can! I miss you already! Be safe! Use a condo-”
“Mom!!!”
“You know I love you! Take it easy and be smart!”
“I will mom! I love you and I’ll visit during the end of this semester!” Shinsou hung up when his mother said her farewells again, dropped his phone on his desk and sighed the loudest sigh he has ever sighed. He was happy that his mother called him as soon as he managed to get a taxi, but he can feel it, he can feel his anxiousness rising.
He just arrived in a new country and he’s already having second thoughts on…everything. His mind is a building whirlwind of shit.
This was a spur of the moment for Shinsou Hitoshi: To go to college out of his home country. He didn’t expect to even get into the college since they didn’t seem too helpful with assisting him with transferring credits, despite being an international friendly University, and he almost missed the cut off point for applications, but in the end it worked out somehow. Dumb luck on his side. Now here he is…in a new country, a new city and in a new college working towards a degree in Psychology; The new country being America, the new city being New York City and the New College being the UA University, top University in Psych, The Arts and The Sciences.
How did he get here again? Shinsou Hitoshi is definitely having a mini-existential crisis right now as he’s laying down staring at the ceiling.
Shinsou is resting on his unmade plastic bed, the bottom of his legs dangling off the tall bed with drawers underneath. He’s staring up at the florescent dorm lights annoyingly flickering in his eyesight, blinding him and he wonders if this was a good choice to decide to study abroad like this. His high school had descent English classes so his English is fine, he’s not worried about that, but he is worried about…people.
And sure people are everywhere on this planet, but he cannot help his worries.
People have always been an issue with him due to his mind controlling quirk, so he has varied reactions from people. Their reactions consist of their nonchalant, insult disguised comments about his quirk being suited to be for a villain, fear for being in his vicinity or frustration with having someone like him exist. Other people do not click with him, but it’s not like he doesn’t want that. He tried before and no one has…as soon as they meet him they ask and…
He’s frowning harder now at the lights on his dorm cieling. So, he closed his eyes and lets out another big sigh to escape from his mouth, alongside all the feelings he has boiling inside him. Calm. He must calm down. He covered bother of his eyes and took another breath and counted to 10. He’ll be fine. He’ll be okay.
He transferred here to get away from people who see him as a villain to be and only that back home, but that is only one reason. He transferred here to meet new people, diverse people, people who…don’t know him from high school days and to excel in the selected field he has chosen.
And he will succeed in his field, he is determined with that. Howver, he also wants…a new beginning for himself. He didn’t like his origin story back home, so he has taken a chance, taken a risky step to create a new one.
It is then the door handle to his dorm room began to wriggle. It started off calmly wriggling and then more violently wriggling. Shinsou sat up on the bed he claimed on the far right corner of the room at the back, next to the window, and held his breath.
Oh no. He completely forgot about the random assigned roommate thing that every freshman is unable to opt out of no matter what. He just shrugged his shoulders at that before, but now he’ll be living with a freaking stranger. Only now did his brain register this, for even though he has people issues and people have issues with him, this was the least of his worries when applying.
The door handle rattled more, but he heard the muffled voice of a boy mutter, “Dang it, really? Of course, I get the room on the highest floor and a broken door.”
Shinsou’s mouth twitched with an aborted smile that disappeared immediately as he stood up quick and crossed the room to open the door for his new roommate. When he reached out to open the door, the door swung open and all he felt was pain.
He might have blacked out for a split second or more. He’s not sure what happened, but someone is gripping his shoulder tight, pinching his nose even tighter and all he can see is white clouds.
And blood. Ah, the door hit him and he has tissues shoved in his face.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m soooo sorry!” Shinsou felt the hand that was previously on his shoulder slide to cup his face near his jaw. The boy, his roommate that he didn’t even see yet, continued in a lightning quick jumble of words, breath brushed against his nose from their close proximity, “Oh my god, this is horrible, I’m the worst new roommate ever. Why did I open the door so quick? I-I-I am sooooo sorry, please tilt your head back ohh my god this must hurt so much!”
“…” Shinsou still has his eyes squeezed shut, blinking open occasionally to look at the ceiling obscured through tissues, trying to take this all in and he could not catch the rest of the guy mumbling panicked words. His nose hurts a lot.
There is a hint of an accent in his English and Shinsou recognized it to be Japanese. The world seems like a small one sometimes. What a coincidence.
“K-keep pinching your nose! And keep your head back! A-a-and I-I’ll go a-and find the RA! They might have more tissues! I saw a vending machine on this floor so hold on! Oh God, I’ll be quick!”
Shinsou Hitoshi managed to listen to the frantic voice of this boy, who apparently is his roommate, fuss over him since he slammed a door open on his face. He opened his mouth to say his delayed reaction, to try and calm the other person a little, to say that the door opening is also his fault since he was slow, but the other boy ran off.
Shinsou opened one eye to look, but only a blur of green is what he managed to catch running out the door and all he got out of his mouth to respond was an unhelpful, “Hahh?”
His foot touched an obnoxious looking All Might hero duffle bag when he moved to sit up on the chair he was pushed on. Head still tilted back and nose pinched with tissues, Shinsou swiveled slightly to see a big yellow backpack and a huge suitcase still by the door entrance keeping it propped it open.
“Ohhhh god! Ohhh god! Ohhh god!” The distant sounds of ‘Oh God’ grew louder to Shinsou Hitoshi’s ears and so he put his head down a little to see how his roommate looks.
And ‘oh god’ indeed.
Big emerald eyes wet with tears hovered over him, rushing close to him again, and Shinsou’s own eyes widened at the face so close to his own. Dark green, fluffy looking hair is a wild halo around his new roommates head and short bangs cradle his face. And the other boy has freckles. A sprinkle of freckles is all over his roommate’s cheeks, and his face is so round, soft looking, and Shinsou’s one eye twitched when he felt a hand touch him. A hand touched the back of his head, fingers confidently slipping through his blue hair, brushing against the back of his neck and he felt sweat fall down one side of his face.
The other boy is coaxing him to lean his head back more and so he does with the consequence of feeling his heart beat even harder in his chest. A cold can of some soda calmed a part of his face and he can picture steam flying from his face from the contrasting temperatures meeting each other.
A cute boy is holding him, touching and pressing themselves so close to him and Shinsou doesn’t know how words work. He forgot to breath, but luckily his mouth is wide open like a fish since his nose is KOed and bleeding. He blinked his eyes a few more times to see if the image would disappear and he’ll realize he’s just dreaming.
But no he’s not.
This cute boy is leaning over him, standing close to his body like an angel from all the best fantasies he’s ever had, and the bloody tissues he is holding in his free hand…oddly doesn’t diminish the overall image. The boy is still so cute, even though he managed to slam a door open so hard that it gave him a nosebleed.
Shinsou Hitoshi felt heat rush to his cheeks, the rise in his overall demeanor forced a bit more blood to drip down his face, but he stop it when another tissue was offered to him at just the perfect time. When the other boy asked him with a trembling pout, Shinsou clenched his fist and looked away from the boy’s face to stare down at his neck area instead, “A-Are you okay? I’m really sorry. This is a horrible first impression.”
And staring at his neck was a mistake because, the other boy is leaning over and his white shirt is a deep V-neck, so it’s showing his collarbones and a part of his chest. The cute boy looks pretty fit and…nope focus. Shinsou gulped. “N-No not horrible.”
“Huh?” The cute boy seemed confused now. And when this boy stood up straight from leaning over him, Shinsou noticed that he’s so short and that just adds too his cuteness! Oh god. His new roommate took a step away from him, to give him appropriate room to breathe, proper aquaintance distance, and Shinsou estimated that he looked about 5 feet 5 or 6 inches in height versus his 5 feet 11 inches height. Something like that…Shinsou has to get used to dealing with the different measurements in America from the rest of the world.
“I’m…alright.” Shinsou patted the tissues pressed on his face a few times more and saw that the bleeding is slowing down in his right nostril. “I-I’ve actually seen worse first impressions towards me.”
The boy wiped his tears away on his bright red hoodie sleeve and then looked at him with shock and disbelief, “R-really?! H-how? How can anything be worse than this?”
“Oh there are worse people out there.” Shinsou replied to the other boy who held out more tissues for him, which he politely declined since he seemed okay…
The corner of Shinsou’s lip twitched upward when the boy giggled slightly and then nodded saying, “I agree with you on that. I could have let you fall to the ground and left you to bleed out. I knew some people like that a while back in my childhood.”
“Well, good thing that’s past tense and you don’t know them anymore.” Shinsou smirked when he managed to lighten the mood and make the other boy laugh.
“I agree! Those people don’t need to be in my life anymore. S-So then…” The boy put a hand on the back of his head and rubbed his curly green hair nervously. “W-well, I guess introductions are in order, but first…are you Japanese? I don’t want to assume, but I had to ask since I’m Japanese too. Japanese American.”
Shinsou put down the bloody tissues from his face so that he could get a good look at his new roommate up and down slowly. He didn’t miss the other boy’s face slowly turning red, so he quickly answered him to cover his unintentional rudeness, “Yes I am. First time in America actually, I’m an international student.”
“Oh that’s so cool! I miss Japan. I haven’t been since my last year of middle school! I’ve been in America here in New York, for a while with my mommy and mom since then. Maybe you can meet them someday! Do you want to speak together in Japanese?” The boy’s smile is even cute and Shinsou prayed to the heavens that he won’t mess anything up. Though he won’t be surprised if the other boy is thinking the exact same thing by how he kept biting the bottom of his lip. He seems pretty nervous with him too…a natural response due to what just happened coupled with the fact that they shall be living together for year.
“Let’s continue speaking English.”
“Okay!” He took a mental note to buy himself a pair of sunglasses if this boy’s smiles were always going to be like this 24/7. He has a bad feeling that his roommate might be a morning person too, but that’s alright with him. Not everyone is perfect and if they were then they’d be the most suspicious, untrustworthy person in the world. “I’m fine with that! So…um…I have a personal question to ask you.”
Here it comes, the quirk question. “Sure and then I’ll ask you one too.”
The next question his new roommate he thought would make this conversation spiral downward, completely took him off guard, “So, um…where are you from in Japan?”
He obviously hesitated in his answer, but at least he answered as calmly as possible, “Saitama…prefecture.”
“My moms and I are from Shizuoka Prefecture.” Shinsou’s new roommate smiled a friendly smile at him when he exhaled the breath he was holding and he wondered if his nervousness was even more clear.
“My turn.”
“G-go for it!” The nervousness is still shared though and Shinsou feels a bit better at that.
“I assume you like All Might. Going by your merchandise bag there?” The All Might bag is on the floor and Izuku gasped to retrieve it away from the floor. He dusted his bag off. Shinsou immediately knew he has a fanboy as a roommate. He can live with that. It’s the morning person thing he is dreading to find out about in the future of their roommate daily lives together. Mornings suck and Shinsou’s semi-permanent eye bags agree.
“Yeah! He’s the ultimate best actor ever and his new superhero movie is amazing! He’s so handsome and his muscles are so defined in that outfit don’t you think? T-though Aizawa Shouta as his co-actor is amazing too and has that b-bad boy rugged look to him t-that I l-like a lot too. You like All Might films?”
His new roommate began to stutter again during the whole ‘bad boy’ declaration and he mentally pictured the clothes he is currently wearing: Fitted navy and white stripped shirt, grey salt and pepper hoodie, black skinny jeans ripped at both knees and leather ankle boots with pointed toe and studs. Shinsou felt his cheeks grew pink again and he willed the screaming in his head that he should not jump to conclusions!!! He’s not a bad boy!! HE-HE…okay he may have that image, but he’s far from a bad boy. He shouldn’t be thinking about irrelevant things like this.
Shinsou forced himself to focus, wipe as much dried blood off his face and answered, “I do like those two actors, but sadly I didn’t see his newest superhero movie yet.”
“Maybe we can watch it together! I don’t mind watching it again!” Those green eyes widened in excitement, but then he cleared his throat, took a deep breath and seriously addressed him, “Wait. Um, I’m getting ahead of myself. My name is Izuku Midoriya. I’m your new roommate and I’m an Illustration and Design major. It’s nice to meet you!”
Standing up from the chair he sat in so that he could greet the other guy properly, Shinsou threw his used tissues in the finished empty McDonalds paper bag he ate this morning and bowed. “Shinsou Hitoshi, Psychology major. And it is very nice to meet you too.”
“Nice to meet you too Hitoshi!” Shinsou’s face lit up like a traffic light again, his face is burning. He snapped his head up to look at this Midoriya Izuku with wide eyes.
“O-Oh I’m sorry! I mean, Shinsou-san? I’m sorry for just jumping ahead again a-a-and-” Midoriya Izuku’s face is red too and both of his hands gripped his hair as he apologized to him again, bowing quickly three times, “I’m so sorry! Again! Ahhh-”
“No no, please, it’s okay…” Shinsou’s eyes darted away from the short boy to look at the bare white walls of their dorm room. His roommate stopped bowing at him and froze low, head down practically 90 degrees at his waist. To break this awkward moment, Shinsou hesitantly said, “I-Izuku. I just…I’m just all-”
This Midoriya…well Izuku Midoriya, shot up straight with arms still stiff at his sides and stared at him with a determined expression on his face with his eyebrows furrowed and soft looking lips turned down into a firm pout.
Two hands then grabbed Shinsou Hitoshi’s hand, his hand not stained with dried blood, and that made him look back down at the boy that moved closer to him again. He’s on his tiptoes and Shinsou is screaming inside his head, pure blood curdling scream, and the other boy’s mannerisms are as cute as a kittens. He might die. He might actually die today and he just arrived in this damn country!
“It’s okay, don’t force yourself okay?” Izuku grinned up at him, his eyes closing from how happy an expression he has gracing his face. Shinsou wants to kiss freckled cheeks, so heavens do strike him down immediately. Shinsou internally said a prayer when the boy opened his eyes and tilted his head slightly, a smile still on his face and said, “You can call me whatever you want and I’ll call you the name you want to be addressed, it’s no problem. A-a-and since I hurt you before I even introduced myself, maybe I can treat you to an early dinner? There is this nice Japanese eatery and grocery called Sunrise Mart. It’s in Midtown and I go there all the time. They have good katsudon and ramen.”
Shinsou squeezed one of the hands that cradled his own and smiled at Midoriya, a calmness overflowing his mind and body by this warm welcome from this cute boy. He could get used to this. Tucking the soda Izuku Midoriya gave him to cool his previously bleeding nose, Shinsou welcomed the kind gesture given to him, “I’d like that.”
“That’s great!” Izuku then turned around and clumsily hauled his bags into the room and made sure he had his keys, school ID, phone and wallet, so Shinsou also did the same. In the back pocket of his black jeans, Shinsou double-checked that he had his ID there, keys and wallet too. He picked up his phone and shoved it in his hoodie pocket. Very important and would be so bad if they both forgot it on their first day in the dorms. “Let’s head out! B-But first…”
“Hmm?” Izuku pointed at his face and Shinsou raised his eyebrow at him confused at what he was insinuating, pausing while putting on his black jean jacket.
“L-let’s make sure your face doesn’t look like a crime scene or people will think I’m a bully on the first day.” Izuku chuckled, zipping up his red hoodie half way and then stuffing his hands in his light blue skinny jean pockets.
“You…” Shinsou looked Izuku up and down again, shrugging his jean jacket on, and held his hand an inch above the curly green hair that he really wanted to touch, but couldn’t. Not now. Maybe…later. He smirked when Midoriya Izuku’s face puffed up like an angry puffer fish, his face pouting up at him when he smacked his hand away. “You? Bully me?”
“You know size means nothing and I’m not that short!” Izuku turned his nose up at him, while locking their dorm door. But a smile is on his face for he accepted the teasing and Shinsou smiled as well, chucking under his breath at the other boy. “Okay, I deserve the teasing. I did slam the door on your face. I’m so sorry. I really am!”
“I know you are since you’re paying…” Shinsou and his new roommate, Izuku Midoriya, walked together to the common bathroom on their floor, so that he could wash his face.
“I am!” Izuku leaned against the bathroom entrance watching him wash his face, waiting for him. His voice echoed in the huge bathroom, “And it will be an ‘I’m sorry early dinner’! And-And I-I’ll buy you ice cream too! Next door is another Japanese place called Café Zaiya that has this popular Matcha and sesame ice cream!”
Drying his hands on a paper towel, Shinsou smirked at the boy treating him to dinner, “Lead the way then short boy.”
“I’m not short!” Izuku crossed his arms over his chest and stood up straighter, an attempt to seem taller in Shinsou’s opinion. “Did you know that men have two growth spurts in their lives? I still have time!”
“You do.” Shinsou held his hand out for the other boy to enter the elevator first and said with no emotion to his voice, revealing nothing, “Cute people first.”
“Don’t mind if I do!” Midoriya happily grinned at him and walked into the elevator, Shinsou following after. They both clicked the first floor button and shot away from each other when their fingers touched. “W-well, er, lets have you get a metrocard for your first venture out into the wonderful streets of New York, Hito…Shin…w-what would you like for me to call you?”
“…Hitoshi is fine.” Shinsou rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from the sweet looking smile directed at him again. “You can call me Hitoshi, Izuku.”
“O-o-okay, then H-H-Hitoshi.” Hitoshi felt something bubble in his stomach…he was probably hungry, but no, he knows he’s feeling things. Things he does not want to think about at the moment, but he can’t help it since people like Izuku Midoriya always make him like this. But…
They arrived at the first floor and Izuku stepped in front of him before the doors opened, preventing him from getting out first. When the elevator doors opened, Izuku stepped to the side and copied him, holding his hands out more dramatically than how he did it and bowing slightly, “Cute people first.”
Shinsou Hitoshi thinks he will be okay here…with this Midoriya Izuku as his roommate. He lightly knocked his arm against the other boy’s outstretched arm and the giggles that followed, walking next to him out of the building to the streets made Shinsou smile again. Yeah, he’ll be okay with Izuku here with him. He’ll be okay.
Thank you for reading! -Unoutan
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