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max-vandenburg-is-life · 3 years

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Long Loki rant incoming

Ok first things first I've always liked Loki a lot as a character but I don't consider myself a really really big fan mainly because I haven't read the comics. So all this rant is gonna be only about mcu loki and loki in the mcu has been written differently depending on the movie so yeah. And on that note let's go!!!!

So today I'm gonna talk about what I liked and what I didn't like about the Loki show. This is obviously just my opinion, you can disagree with me! I'd love to hear your opinions!

First I wanna talk about is the writing of Loki's character. So previously it has been established in the mcu that Loki doesn't do bad things just because he's a bad guy or because he wants power above everything else, but because after all the manipulation and lying he went through as a child, the abuse, always been seen as less than those around him and being taught to hate himself for who he was (a Jotun). He wants validation and being treated the same as the others, he doesn't really care about ruling or being king. His actions are a result of his trauma. So the show painting him as "He's a bad guy!! He's evil he can't help it it's in his nature!! He just wants to be king!!!" felt off to me since it completely goes against all the previous canon. Apart from that, I feel the show also erased other aspects of him that had always been essential to his character, such as him being very smart and always having a plan, and his powers (he BARELY used his powers throughout the season and he's supposed to be the best sorcerer in the nine realms. Please). So yeah there's that. I didn't absolutely despise his character in the show or anything like that, he generally seemed more happy and chill and that was good, I just felt some aspects of the character seemed inconsistent.

Apart from Loki, something I loved about the show were all the new characters that we were introduced to. Sylvie was absolutely fantastic, she had a well written tragic backstory, she had a goal and she had layers. She was a really well written character. Also she was just really cool overall, she had a cool personality and seeing her use her powers was very fun. (Sylvie your hand in marriage) (I guess I can talk about the "betrayal" now. So yeah not gonna lie I don't think it was that bad. She had a goal she had been pursuing her whole life and she obviously prioritized that before a guy who she met a few days ago. She did hurt him of course but still it's easy to understand her decision.) Mobius was also really cool, in the first episode I didn't like him much but I started liking him a lot later on. He's just a good guy, he wants to help people. (HE ONLY WANTED A JETSKI MARVEL). And I liked his story a lot, he was forced into working for the tva because his memories were erased and he was told what he was doing the right thing when killing all those people, but once he finds out all of it was false he immediately starts going against it and trying to help as many people as he can. Ravonna was also a good character (I keep saying all of them are good characters lol they're well written ok). Like okay she was a little bit evil but I liked her. I really liked her ambition and her confidence. I would have loved to know more about her life at the tva, because it seemed like because of her position she knew some things that most didn't. Hunter B15 was also really good, loved her character development. Casey only appeared in the first two eps but for some reason I liked him a lot idk why. Casey my beloved. Kang was mind-blowing good, he absolutely carried the episode. He was so fun to watch and a very interesting character. This is how you do villains Marvel. And then all the Loki variants were amazing. Classic Loki was great, he was more mature and wiser than the Loki we're used to watching and I felt really sad about his whole situation (aka trying and failing to find his brother because he missed him, getting pruned and then dying). Kid loki was a BLAST, I really liked the little funky dude and I would love to know more about his life. Boastful Loki didn't appear for long but I liked him a lot, he looked like a really funny guy I wish he had had more screen time. And then there was the Lokigator which was also great. President Loki was also cool (meaning he had the coolest outfit), but we didn't see much of him. I think that's a big problem with the show, because they made it seem like it was gonna be more about the other Loki variants and their timelines (that's what it seemed to me from the trailers) but then we barely got that. Sad shit.

Now let's talk about the writing of the show in general. The writers definitely went off with the philosophical conversations, I enjoyed them greatly (Loki's and Mobius' talk in the second ep and Loki's and Sylvie's talk in the third ep were amazing). Something I didn't like at all about the show (this is probably my biggest complaint) is that the writing of the show throughout the episodes didn't seem consistent, like each episode seemed to be a different genre, and that made the whole story feel weird. What I'm trying to say is: the first episode was about Loki learning more about his life and reflecting on why he does the things he does. There was more to the episode but it was mainly that. It was a very emotional episode. The second episode looked like a cop show, they investigated a crime scene in the beginning, they did some detectiving, they had a great breakthrough and found out were the villain was hiding in the end. The third episode was an action episode. It gave me the vibes of mid season episode that isn't too relevant to the plot in which the characters go on some short mission. The fourth episode I can't exactly categorize it I think it was kinda like episode 1 but with some more action. The fifth episode was also a mix, they had a lot of reflecting on Loki's character like in the first episode and then also some action. And the last episode was mostly just exposition and a tiny bit of action at the end, very philosophical and stuff. It also felt like in the first two episodes they were indicating that the show was gonna be about free will and good and evil but that kind of disappeared for a big part of the show. I'm trying so hard to explain myself well, I hope what I say makes sense. Now my opinion on the episodes, my favourites were definitely ep 1, 3 and 5 (haha odd numbers go brrrr). The pilot was absolutely amazing, and I loved the direction the show seemed to be taking (YES MARVEL explore his trauma mmmm that's some good shit right there). It was really emotional but like in a good way. The third episode was great. I think it balanced really well the action and the dialogue, seeing Loki and Sylvie going on their shenanigans, using their powers and fighting was really fun, and then the train talk scene was absolutely amazing (bi loki yay! Gonna talk about this later). The fifth episode was great mostly because seeing all the other Loki variants and how they contrasted between each other was fantastic and I loved it. I really hope we see more of the variants in the next season. The other eps, the second and fourth were okay, the one I think was the worst one was the last one. Damn that episode. It was a very slow episode. Thank god the guy who plays Kang was really good because otherwise the episode would have been impossible to watch. There was so much exposure but it felt like we already knew most of it? They talked about how multiple timelines existing was bad because chaos and stuff, and they talked about the war in which the different timelines battled each other. Ok we already knew this. I feel like the only important thing to take from that whole talk was that Kang's variants are very powerful and dangerous and they were introducing the villain to the mcu. The whole episode felt like instead of giving closure to the characters or ending some storylines, the main thing it was doing was introducing the concept of the multiverse for the next marvel movies.

Something that surprised me a lot about the show is how important it is for the mcu storyline. Like in the first episode they talked about how the tva (and of course Kang) was much more powerful than the Infinity Stones, when basically all previous marvel movies were about them and about their power. And then Kang was revealed to have created a sacred timeline, he controls absolutely everything that happens. All of this is so important and for some reason I didn't think the show was gonna be like this. Not that I'm complaining, this is great. And I feel like a lot of people are not realising how big it is? Like I don't see much talking about how this is literally the greatest power in the universe.

Damn this is getting long sorry.

I suppose I'll have to talk about it because it has been this big thing. I'm talking about the loki x sylvie pairing. I didn't like it too much, it felt a lot like the writers went "he's a guy she's a girl so they have to fall in love", like I felt they had a very different dynamic and when they said that I was mostly surprised and confused. Because they were variants of each other their romance felt weird to me, and the fact that they made a character genderfluid and then made a woman and a man version fall in love also rubbed me the wrong way (I'll talk about the genderfluidity later). I did like the mobius x loki pairing more, but still I don't think they should have got any romance this season, I feel like there has to be a lot more progress in that relationship before any romance. I generally feel like Loki should first start getting some friends and then later on we can start with romance. But yeah this is just my opinion. And all the drama and discourse there has been over this???? Some of you guys look ridiculous not gonna lie.

Ok now let's talk about representation. I'm not poc myself so I don't feel like I'm in the position to say if something was good or bad, so I'm not gonna talk about poc rep. The show did a good job with female characters, many of the main characters were women and they were very well-written, not sexualized and cast appropriately for their age (I can't believe I'm praising this, this should be the bare minimum. Why is media in general so bad. Like please just.) About the bi rep now. I'm sure that the writers or directors of the show had to fight really hard with marvel so that they could make loki canon bi, so yeah cheers to that guys good job. Obviously it's not enough, and I really hope his bisexuality is explored more later. But yeah we finally have a queer character in the mcu this is big. Now about the genderfluid rep. OOF. I have a lot to say about this. It was bad. Really bad. I don't know if they just don't know what genderfluid means but that's what it looks like after watching the show. Not only were all of the variants cis, but they also went on to say that Loki as a woman was a weird and uncommon thing. Oh my god. And what angers me the most is the fact that Marvel used the so called genderfluid confirmation to their benefit. They exploited so much that little piece of paper that said his sex (not even gender) was fluid. I saw SO MANY articles praising marvel for making him canon genderfluid, and then it was absolutely shit. Absolutely shit. Out of everything in the show this is definitely what I hate the most.

Gotta calm down now. The soundtrack of the show was amazing, the actual songs they used were perfect and then the music they composed for the show was just *chef's kiss* (i have no idea how they're called but the song that plays during the title sequence WHAT A BANGER and the one that plays when loki and mobius are looking at the whole tva from the balcony in the first ep WHAT A BANGER). The aesthetic of the show was also great, the colours were really pretty (Lamentis bi colours my beloved) and I think it had some really cool shots. The acting was great, I'm gonna highlight Kang because I thought he was amazing. The costumes and that stuff were also really cool, I really liked seeing all the different versions of outfits they gave to the Loki variants (if anyone is interested I made another post reviewing all the variants' outfits) and Kang's funky costume was great too. The design of the places and that stuff (I have no idea how to call these lol I'm trying so hard but I don't know any of the technical words) was great: Lamentis was really beautiful, the void was also very cool and the tva was really well designed.

Ok y'all I think this is it. I'm so sorry this is much longer than I expected and if anyone actually reads all of it i love you and PLEASE tell me your thoughts (if anyone wanna chat about the show with me privately send me a message!!! I love talking with y'all). A little final note, English is not my first language, nor my second, so yeah sorry if I can't explain myself well. Bye!!!!

#i feel like this is super long and boring so if anyone actually reads all of it thanks #these are basically all my thoughts i really had to let them out #overall I'll say it was a pretty good show if we forget Loki's weird characterisation and the terrible genderfluid rep #i realized a few days ago that i can actually say whatever i want #like i can say my opinion i can say what i think and then people can disagree with me! and it's no big deal #I'm allowed to have opinions on things as well as everyone else #I'm working on some stuff #anyways that's all #please tell me what y'all think #I'd love to talk about the show!#loki spoilers #loki show #loki series #sylvie #mobius #kang the conqueror #he who remains #classic loki #kid loki #lokigator #gator loki #boastful loki #bisexual representation #genderfluid representation #ravonna renslayer #hunter b 15 #marvel #marvel show #loki #an original post no way

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bereft-of-frogs · 5 years

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I absolutely love MCU Hela and am looking forward to that WIP you mentioned where Hela wasn't beaten so easily. Do you have any headcanons for an AU where Hela wasn't originally banished?

Sadly (for me), that one is my big bang, so I won’t be posting it for a while, which makes the part of my brain that craves instant gratification real sad. Though that’s also giving me enough time to make some progress on the other two works in the series so there isn’t too much of a gap between posting. (And I guess it’s more...she doesn’t initially win so easily? It takes her a bit longer to actually conquer Asgard, so there’s time for some shenanigans ha.) (I have not been summarizing this fic well, even the summary I turned in was like...’come on, we all know I’m basing this off of a cool tagline and quotes from a poem about death, do I really have to explain the plot of this thing?’)

Anyways. Hela not originally being banished:

- Her and Frigga would make for the best magical rivals. I am not normally one for pitting women against each other, but in this case I will allow it because they could have just the most intense, personal, vicious rivalry and I think that would be really fun. Like, there’s court drama, each vying for power and alliances and setting various plots in motion, they once ‘accidentally’ destroyed a wing of the library, they each have at least three mysterious disappearances under their belts, casualties of their conflict.

- And the whole time Odin is completely ignoring it, just like ‘oh my wife and daughter are so powerful, how excellent, oh no, this is a perfectly healthy competition, they’re fine’. Frigga chills out a bit over time, but Hela Does Not. Frigga chills out, her resentment doesn’t burn quite as hot as Hela’s, and then gets super distracted by having kids. Cuz you know, when you have really little kids some things you used to enjoy doing just have to take a backseat for a while and that includes bitter, intense rivalries with your adult stepdaughter.

- Hela’s initial impression of Thor is ‘yes, somehow I can use this in our game.’ Her second impression is ‘why does it cry so much?’ Her first impression of Loki is...somewhat more violent and murder-y. Her second impression is ‘wait, what do you mean you’re taking it back to Asgard. just because it’s kind of small and does a cute little shapeshifting thing does not mean, hey old man why are you walking away from me, listen-”

- So Hela just kind of fucks off for their early childhoods because babies cry a lot, and she finds that kind of annoying. So Thor and Loki grow up with the vague understanding that they have an older sister who occasionally pops in to be like ‘are these things useful yet?’ but shows very little interest in them as actual people. Which Hela should have known would only lead to them being a thing apart from her and Frigga’s rivalry and not actually that useful to her. (Because, true to canon, they are deeply attached to Frigga, deeply emotionally codependent, and have their Own Thing Going On.)

- But Hela rolls back in (ushered by the frightened whisperings of servants and courtiers who had been around during the days of Hela and Frigga’s first rivalry) during their awkward/tumultuous teenage years and yeah, kind of looks like the Cool Older Sister who teaches Loki the dark magic Frigga has told him he’s too young for, and talks to Thor about power. (She keeps the Jotun thing in reserve, in case she ever needs it.)

- Her aim is to use them against Frigga but quickly realizes it would be more efficient to use them as proxies for her and Frigga. (Come on, they even look the parts.) And for a while it works - she feeds their rivalry and watches as they fight and plot against each other and is gleefully thrilled at how well this scheme is working, they are just like her and Frigga back in the day. But the problem is: Hela and Frigga never loved each other. Thor and Loki’s rivalry stems entirely from how much they love each other, how they feel forced to compete in spite of that, and where in canon that simmers for centuries into the bitter resentment we see at the start of the narrative, with Hela pushing them it boils over much, much sooner. And they can’t take it anymore. So, furious competition set aside, they take another leaf out of Hela’s book and just fuck off (because it’s not like either of them are heirs to the throne, they’re both just spares, they can leave), and Hela is like ‘...wait.’

- Thus, Frigga is like ‘see? see what you did?’ and Odin finally turns his attention to this intense magical rivalry that has been happening for literal centuries and is like ‘you did this, you can very well fix it’ so Hela finds herself setting off to find the two little brats to do some sibling bonding (shudder) and bring them home.

Thank you for asking! Sorry it took so long to get to this!

[If you are like ‘what is this’ before I went on vacation, I rebagled an ask meme that was like ‘ask me for an AU and I’ll give you 5+ headcanons’. It has been very fun! I have a couple more to answer in the askbox right now and if you’d like to read the others, I collected them under the tag ‘purveyor of AUs’. (Apologies for the font color of my theme, it’s...complicated. I can’t fix it. I know it’s kind of hard to read. Sorry!)]

My ask box is always open! : D

#Anonymous #purveyor of AUs #ask me anything!#MCU #hela

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alkja · 5 years

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Well, here we come: Endgame review (spoilers galore)

Endgame is essentially two different movies for me: the one up until the last three minutes and the one that includes those last three minutes.

The first is a decent movie – riddled with stupid crap, plot holes and the occasional nonsense, but on the whole acceptable.

The second is a waterfall of crap that makes me seethe in anger.

If you liked that ending, I seriously discourage you from keeping on reading. Otherwise, let us discuss the good, the bad, the wtf and the “How dare you?”

THE “DID YOU EVEN TRY THINKING ABOUT THIS” DIVISION

Let’s start with the inevitable: time shenanigans equal inevitable fuckery. That is known.

The most egregious example being: Nebula kills her younger self and is apparently fine and dandy. What the shit? I don’t care if you killed her in 2023 (or whenever Endgame happens, I’m going with Infinity War happening in 2018 as released), if Nebula 2014 dies there is no Nebula 2015 and so on to eventually become Nebula 2023. Ergo, she should absolutely have died. Same with Thanos & Co. No matter where you do it, if you kill a past version of someone, there is no one to do the things they would have done in the future. Thanos 2014 dies, so there cannot be a Thanos from after that to do the Snap.

Which is not bad, go ahead and kill past versions of evil shits, but doing so changes the timeline. Period. Rodhey even proposed that and they had a long nerd out about why that would not be possible... and then they went and did that and pretended it didn’t count. That is so goddamn stupid.

Same with all the time travel.

I don’t care if you go and put the Infinity Stones back, because those stupid McGuffins are not the only thing that can mess the timeline. First of all, there is no one to use them anyway since Thanos died before he did the Snap, but we’re supposed to ignore that.

More to the point, in order to put the timeline to right, you have to put the Stones back after the future Avengers have stolen them. Fine, that puts them back in the timeline. However, that doesn’t erase the actions your slightly-past selves have taken trying to grab them. Which means, for example, that Loki fucking escaped with the Tesseract after Avengers 1, which is a MAJOR change.

Or, it should be. But apparently we’re supposed to ignore that because in the Dark World time Loki is in his cell, and wow. NO. If he escapes in Avengers 1 (with the Tesseract to boot), that leads to massive changes in Dark World and Ragnarok. For one thing, without the Tesseract, the Bifrost cannot be repaired. More essential to those plots, Loki should plainly not be there.

Putting the sceptre back also doesn’t erase the fact that Captain America said “Heil Hydra” to a Hydra agent (oh oh oh, such canny comic references!), who apparently never mentioned it again to anyone ever? Not even to his goddamn boss? So, did Sitwell legitimately think Steve was Hydra up until Winter Soldier? And yet come Winter Soldier he never thought to ask Steve “Wait, even if you’re not actually Hydra, you clearly knew about us for years, so why are you now so outraged like this is brand new information for you? Why did it take you this long to move against us and why are you doing it without much in the way of planning or allies? The hell did you do these past years?”

Hell, why did Sitwell – a prominent Hydra agent in SHIELD who would not raise any flags doing so – never approach Steve, Hydra agent to Hydra agent? No, he discovers that Captain America is apparently Hydra and just rolls with it. No “What the hell, sir?” call to Pierce, no secret handshake to Steve. For years. I can handwave him not saying anything to Rumlow and the rest of Strike, because if Steve is Hydra maintaining his deep cover with everyone is more important than anything (even if they were right there when he gave him the scepter, so what did he say to them?), but not mentioning it to Pierce? Cannot buy that. And not having any mention of that in Winter Soldier is pretty damn unbelievable.

The timeline was also changed by having future!Steve fight past!Steve. And no, it doesn’t matter that past!Steve thought it was Loki. It was still a change.

Not to mention, Loki could not have had a Peggy compass or known shit about Bucky, so it stands to reason it’s not Loki. So, what gives? What did past!Steve think it happened? Hell, come Winter Soldier what did he think about that time some guy who looked and fought like himself told him that Bucky was alive and lo and behold, here comes Buckaroo?

In essence, the Avengers fucked the timeline without lube but we’re supposed to pretend they didn’t.

To me, that is shit.

Mess with time all you like, but acknowledge you’re doing so. Either your plan goes off without a hitch (as if!), or the moment where everything goes inevitably to hell and there are changes - and here we are talking about major changes - you say fuck it, pull out all the stops and change away.

[Ok, I admit it, by that I mostly mean: pull out all the stops, take 5 minutes to explain to your past self you come from the future and tell him to get his ass in gear because Hydra is literally running the government and SHIELD and most importantly Bucky has been frozen, tortured and brainwashed for about 70 years, so get to it, save Bucky Bear save the world, and smash Nazis like the fucking Hulk. May the fic gods, as ever, be kinder to me than the canon ones.]

This “pretend nothing has changed even while we change important stuff that should logically have repercussions” approach only works if you think your audience has the reasoning capabilities of concussed goldfishes. Tony’s last bout of genius solving time travel on the fly deserved better than this.

(Also, good luck trying to sell me on any future conflict stakes when our heroes now have the capabilities of fucking going back in time and change things, even if you don’t want to admit it.)

In the “this is so dumb and nonsensical and wow look at those strings” camp, we also have the two Nebulas being connected. That is so stupid and clearly only there for the sake of plot you can literally see the writers going “Uhm... how can we make it so past!Thanos knows what the heroes are doing? What if we make it so past!Nebula gets the memories of future!Nebula from a galaxy away? How? Why? Because!”

Riveting.

About as riveting as the Thor stuff. Here you can see the writers desperately wracking their brain wondering “But how are we gonna have dumb jokes in a serious movies? Where will we go for cheap, juvenile humor? I know! Let’s make Thor a drunk idiot with a beer belly! Oh oh oh, what could be more funny than a parade of fat jokes, we’re comedic geniuses!”

Yawn. Also, offensive much? But really, everything about Thor spits in the face of his three movies long character arc (which was all about responsibility): dudes, do you even know the characters you’re writing about?

Speaking of desperation: no Steve and Bucky reunion post UnSnapping? Seriously? We have Tony and Peter - who have known each other for 5 minutes - tearfully embrace but no scene between two characters who have known each other all their lives and have been through massive shit in those lives? Marvel execs, we know that every time Steve and Bucky shared a scene The Dreadful Spectre of The GAY appeared and made your blood pressure rise but this is ridiculous.

Which is also why you get no cookie for The First Gay Character in the franchise: an unnamed character in a single blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene, truly stellar representation. What made you believe this was a smart move?

That said, there are some good things in this movie.

THE “I DIDN’T NECESSARILY WANT THIS BUT I CAN ACCEPT YOU DID IT. ALSO, OUCH: MY HEART” DIVISION

First of all, Tony Stark.

Never thought I’d say that, because I’m the furthest thing from a Tony fan and spent all of Ultron and Civil War wanting to punch him. And Infinity War being indifferent to him.

But goddamn if I didn’t feel how goddamn much he adored Pepper and their daughter. Goddamn if I didn’t tear up at his heroic sacrifice, going out with the line that started it all (“I am Iron Man”- my heart), goddamn if I didn’t tear up at his goodbye with Pepper and then at his funeral.

For all his many, many faults – which I’m not gonna forget for a second – Tony went out exactly as he should be: a goddamn hero. With a heart big enough, strong enough to give himself up for everyone else even at the moment where he had everything he ever wished to have.

My hat’s off to him.

Never thought I’d ever say this, but I will miss him.

Other MVPs of Endgame: Clint Motherfucking Barton and Natasha “Love is NOT for Children” Romanoff. I know: Natasha, sure, but who would ever have guessed that about Clint? Prior to Endgame, he was just sort of there, not helped by Ultron and his sudden family in a farm.

Endgame managed to make me care about the family I loathed. How? I don’t know, but I am totally down for a Clint + Kate Bishop + Lila show, where everyone is a badass archer and they are all codenamed Hawkeye just because! I am also totally down for Clint’s badass reinvention (after, I’m guessing, mainlining all 7 seasons of Arrow), no matter how heartbreaking the reason or questionable the style choices.

And that Clintasha scene was pretty much worth the whole movie to me.

Because, first of all, that’s how you solve a problem like the Soul Stone: a willing sacrifice. (Which, btw, makes even more disgusting the fact that we are supposed to see this as equally worthy to Thanos murdering his daughter).

Second, because I am a total sucker for characters fighting about who gets to sacrifice themselves. Clint and Natasha beating the crap out of each other just like in Avengers 1 (just one of many delightful callbacks that pepper the movie), this time because they love each other too much to let the other be the one to die is everything.

Third, because it’s just a really good scene, based on one of the better relationships in the MCU. Even those not shipping Clintasha have no doubt that those two are extremely important to one another, and Renner and Johannson acted the hell out of it - just as they did every scene together, from their reunion post-yakuza slaughter, to the giddiness of flying a spaceship. I teared up like a baby at Nat’s sacrifice and I was right there with Clint hoping for a loophole that made it so we could get Nat back and was heartbroken anew when that did not come to pass.

But, again, the Black Widow went out just like she should have: a true hero, loving, strong and unafraid. The red in her ledger was wiped out once and for all.

The “Feels” subdivision

Scott Lang was an integral part of the solution. I mean, never before have we heard about time passing differently in the quantum realm – and in fact Janet Van Dyne aged the 30 years she spent in it, so more plot service crap – but who cares! Still, his desperate checking to see if his daughter was among the Snapped only to find his own name and running like hell to get to Cassie only to be suddenly confronted with a teenager and realizing he missed those 5 years with her and not caring because she was still there was absolutely perfect.

Speaking of families: I have already said it but Tony and Pepper and little Morgan were amazing.

Also, Thor and Frigga! Frigga was an egregious fridging to start with, so it was lovely seeing her again, but especially giving her a wonderful scene with her son that shows her intelligence and strength and exactly why she was Queen of Asgard. Not to mention being the one to restore Thor’s confidence and absolving him of his failures. Sometimes you just really, really need your mom. (Too bad about that stupid salad joke.)

Natasha and Steve. Just... Natasha and Steve being badly messed up by those 5 years post-Snap and yet being so supportive and understanding of each other. Really, after Winter Soldier, this was the best Natasha movie. And rightly so.

In general, the Avengers being not just a team but also friends, fucking finally. Sure, there is the whole “found family-baited” post going around, but memes aside, it is true that we never got to see those people acting like friends and not merely co-workers. Was that so difficult to do before the very last moment?

THE “IN HERE FOR THE HOLY SHIT QUOTIENT” DIVISION

A small but admirable moment for a villain that was otherwise pretty underwhelming no matter how much they tried passing him off as deep: Thanos having the smarts and the metaphorical stones to goddamn destroy the Infinity Stones. Better to accept never using them himself again than run the risk of someone stealing them and undo his work. He may be evil and incapable of properly understanding the concept of proportions (that whole: if you destroy half of the resources along with half of the people using said resources, you are just as screwed as before), but the guy is smart.

Carol was as amazing as she could be in a movie that by design could not be about her kicking Thanos’s ass up and down the whole galaxy but was necessarily the Last Hooray of the Old Guard. Her face seeing Fury among the Snapped, her entrance and towing a fucking spaceship, her pointing out that while the Avengers have been watching (with mixed results) over a single planet she was watching over a lot of them (likely with better results), her second entrance, her goddamn everything. Not as good as her solo movie but what could ever be?

Speaking of ladies, Valkyrie becoming a Literal Queen warms my heart. I have some doubts about Thor just up and leaving what remains of his people, even after everything (read: I don’t buy it, just like I don’t buy anything about Thor in this movie), but considering Heimdall is not around anymore, we can all agree he left them in excellent, badass hands. I want more.

Switching to metaphorical Valkyries... It was a fanservice-y, mostly unearned scene in a series that has historically been pretty low in female friendships or relationships, but goddamn if the optics of all the badass ladies of the MCU banding together weren’t made of FUCKYEAH! Give us a ladies-led movie, Marvel, you fucking cowards: DC is giving us the Birds of Prey (and Harley Quinn), what’s your excuse?

In that vein: Pepper donning an Iron Man armor! Basically everything I ever hoped for, so much so that for a moment I legitimately thought I had imagined it. Now that Tony is gone, let Pepper step up as Rescue or Iron Maiden or whatever, get her to mentor a bright intern named Riri Williams and we’re set to go for maximum awesomeness.

Still, when talking about maximum awesomeness: CAP. WIELDING. MJOLNIR. We Italians don’t have the habit of reacting to movies out loud at the theatre, but you could hear the current of FUCKYEAH!!! coming from all the nerds in the room, and rightly so. Cap fighting with the shield in one hand and Mjolnir in the other was everything every superhero fan could ever have wished for in a movie distilled into the Crowning Moment of Awesome to top all CMOAs. (Too bad this gets incredibly undermined by that ending beacuse I refuse to believe that that guy could be worthy of a fucking shoehorn, much less Mjolnir.)

Thor dual-wielding Mjolnir and Stormbreaker deserves a mention too.

(This as long as we forget Mjolnir being taken away to the future at the start of Dark World makes gaping holes in Ultron e Ragnarok, because past!Thor wouldn’t have it anymore, but whatever LALALALALA what time logic?)

But the moment that threatened to bring down the house in cheers was the sight of all the Unsnapped returning followed by - finally - the call: AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! Every single person visibly restrained themselves from punching the air and shouting along. I think we all regret not doing so, dignity be damned.

So, leaving aside the truck-sized plot holes that are practically a given once you decide to muck around with time travel and the occasional plot-over-character-or-sense stupidity, all in all we have a rather solid movie full of badass moments and with occasionally meaningful emotional beats.

Not my favorite by a long shot, but a mostly fitting end to an insane project no one ever thought could possibly be achieved that ended up sweeping the world and fandom.

Too bad those last five minutes arrive to shit all over that, and incidentally all over a beloved character.

THE “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU GODDAMNED HACKS” DIVISION

Steve – I must suppose SERIOUSLY concussed during the battle to the point of brain damage beyond the repairing capabilities of the superserum – returns the Infinity Stones to the past and, while he’s at it, decides to abscond in the same past to live his life with Peggy, only returning as an old man to pass the shield to Sam.

Awwwwwwwwww... Steve and Peggy living their life together, so heartwarming...

Yeah, except once you think about it, then you want to use that shield to fucking brain the skrull that must be impersonating Steve Rogers.

Because, in order to buy this story, we have to believe that Steve “I don’t like bullies” Rogers, Steve “If I see a situation pointed south, I can't ignore it” Rogers, Steve “On va voir” Rogers, Steve “I can do this all day” Rogers deliberately chose to spend the rest of his fucking life doing exactly nothing, otherwise the timeline would have been SERIOUSLY rebooted.

A life of inaction, hiding the fact of his existence.

Sure, that totally sounds like the Steve Rogers we have been watching up until this point.

Instead of an ending about moving forward no matter what life throws at you, we got one about happiness being literally going backwards.

Because that’s a totally healthy message.

Hell, you decide to go the retirement route, I don’t even necessarily disagree with it. If, after all the trauma of Infinity War + the five years interlude + the shitstorm of Endgame, Steve decided to lay aside the shield for a while and try to make an actual, functional life for himself I would have been all for it. If nothing else, the guy could make do with a lot of therapy. Most crucially, not being Captain America would not mean quitting the fight: he could do just as much good as an artist, a politician, an opinion leader, an activist or what have you. All that is not gonna be possible in the past, because to mantain the timeline he cannot become anyone relevant in any way. Especially since he knows Hydra is still around and attracting notice would mean risking some of that attention coming from them. So no, absconding to the past means by necessity a life not fighting in any way, not doing anything of any particular importance whatsoever.

This is completely antithetical to everything that Steve Rogers, as he was shown up until now, stands for.

And we have yet to touch the morality of it all, or the lack thereof.

Lest I get accused of being a bitter Stucky shipper whose slash goggles cannot make her appreciate a Steggy ending, let me point out that I ship Steggy as much as Stucky and if anything I am a bitter Peggy Carter fangirl: Our Kick-Ass Lady of the No Holds Barred Beatdown unquestionably deserves better than this crap.

By which, I’m not even talking about how this ending shits all over the closure we got before and the entirety of the Agent Carter run, which both show that while Peggy unquestionably loved Steve, she mourned him for a while and then, as healthy people do, moved on to have a perfectly fulfilling life with a rewarding job and eventually a new love and family. I’m not even talking about how this takes her back the “Steve Rogers’ Love Interest” route, Betty Carver-style, instead of letting her be her own woman with her own story that may have started alongside Steve Rogers but then developed on her own terms. I’m not talking about how she was rewinded from a character in her own right to a “hero’s” prize.

I’m talking about how this supposed happy ending to slow dancing and snuggling is based on either Peggy being apparently also brain damaged to the point that, upon hearing that the organization she’s busting her ass to run is a Nazi cesspool, just rolls with it - which, I think we can all agree, is definitely not something our Agent Carter would ever in a million years do - or Steve merrily electing to spend something like 50 years lying like a motherfucker to the supposed love of his life about how the organization she’s busting her ass to run is a Nazi cesspool. True love, everyone!

Fuck you: Peggy Carter fucking deserved better than this.

This also leaving aside the fact that, in this happy ending, Steve knows that while he’s squirreled away in the woods dancing and doing decoupage, his supposed best friend is getting tortured to the point of complete dehumanization. But whatever, he’ll eventually be fine, no use doing anything about it. Oh, JFK got murdered? Nice shot, Buck! Oh, there goes Howard, a smooth operation, buddy: hope the brain-frying won’t be too bad, just hang on until 2014.

End of the line my goddamn ass.

Oh, and since no-one’s memories are rewritten, Bucky also conceivably knows all this. He knows that his supposed best friend voluntarily spent his life doing squat to save him.

Fuck you: Bucky Barnes fucking deserved better than this.

SO, TO RECAP: Steve Rogers is a selfish ass who chose a life of inaction, Peggy Carter is either his accomplice or a dupe and Bucky Barnes lost his best friend all over again. Coherent characterization got sacrificed for a theoretical feel-good moment that doesn’t stand up to the most cursory examination before being revealed as sheer horrifying fuckery.

Sure, Sam gets to be the new Captain America (which, don’t get me wrong: he totally deserves it and at this point he’s more worthy of it than the original), but that’s literally the only good thing in a mountain of shit dumped over characters that deserved much better.

I get that Evans wanted out, but there are ways to do it and then there are ways. Tony went out like a goddamn hero. So did Natasha.

Steve went out quitting - aka the one and only thing Steve Rogers would never ever do - and in addition what can only be called a bastard who shrugged off his best friend’s decades-long torture and quite likely spent his life lying to the woman he loves.

Fuck you: Steve Rogers fucking deserved better than this.

If there could be a worse impression to leave bowing out than this one, I’m honestly unable to imagine it (Well, beside making Steve Hydra for real: but considering that he spent his live blithely pretending they were not still around murdering, torturing and so on, that makes him a collaborationist at best and WOW, at this point it’s kinda splitting hairs, isn’t it?).

Coming into Endgame, I knew this was gonna be Cap’s last waltz and after spending years as a Steve Rogers fan I was dreading watching him die. Now, I wish he could have gone out with the heroism and dignity of Tony or Natasha instead of... whatever this was. I could have mourned him while celebrating him, instead of mourning what he used to be while despising what he was made to become.

This Steve Rogers fan, who spent years loving him while being annoyed and occasionally enraged by Tony Stark, left the theatre feeling deeply moved by Tony and quite honestly hating the guts of whatever was left of Steve. If someone told me this would happen I wouldn’t have believed them and yet here we are.

Personally, in order to actually enjoy the movie and especially to be able to retain any fondness whatsoever for one of my most beloved characters, those last five minutes are gonna join the entirety of Age of Ultron in the realm of “I recognise Marvel Studios have made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it”.

As far as I’m concerned, Endgame ended with Tony Stark’s funeral. A fitting tribute to the fallen hero who started it all, to the road that took us to this moment and all those characters who travelled it with us.

To the end of an era and hope for the next one.

#MCU #avengers endgame #not my steve rogers #endgame spoilers #steve rogers #tony stark #natasha romanoff #clint barton #review #rant #endgame wtf #epic fail

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pass-the-bechdel · 4 years

Text

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Four (23.52% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Loads of fun, though tonally dissonant; works best on first viewing. Easily the superior film of the Thor franchise, though that’s not a huge achievement considering its predecessors.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Sigh.

Female characters:

Hela.

Scrapper 142 (I know, she is credited as Valkyrie, but since the name is never used to address her in the film it doesn’t count by the rules of this blog; if she didn’t happen to be referred to by her scrapper number a few times, she wouldn’t count as a named character at all).

Topaz.

Natasha Romanoff.

Male characters:

Thor.

Surtur.

Skurge.

Loki.

Stephen Strange.

Odin.

Volstagg.

Hogun.

The Grandmaster.

Carlo.

Korg.

Bruce Banner.

Heimdall.

OTHER NOTES:

The use of Immigrant Song is my favourite thing about this movie, to be honest. I don’t mean that as an insult, it’s just such a good choice.

The inclusion of Doctor Strange in this film feels like a pointless misstep, a distraction at what is really a vital early point in establishing tone, especially considering this useless scene is what leads us in to...

...the literal death of Odin and introduction of Big Bad Hela, all of which should be emotional and intense and is instead flat and dissonant in the extreme. Watching this for the first time, I was very concerned that the whole film was just gonna end up gimmicky and soulless. While it does pick up, I was also not wrong about that early assessment.

Not that I was attached to Thor’s friends from the previous films, but they sure do just kill them off without fanfare, except for Sif who just doesn’t appear at all (logically, we should assume she dies off-screen, otherwise there’s no reason for her not to be up-front with Thor at the end of the movie). Fandral doesn’t even get a line in before he croaks, that’s how irrelevant these franchise-veteran characters are. Emotional engagement in plot and character is for chumps, anyway.

*whispers* Jeff Goldblum is here.

“Piss off, ghost!”

Hulk reveal is pretty solid, if you manage not to have been spoiled (a tall order, since it was in the promos).

Heimdall is still the MVP of the Thor franchise.

Can’t believe it took this long for any movie to squeeze some real fun and heart out of the Hulk character. This is way better than embarrassingly forcing a love match on him.

The valkyrie-battle memory is soooo good-looking.

This movie is too recent to be using the word ‘gypsy’...

Thor’s story about Loki pretending to be a snake when they were kids is the good shit.

But, Immigrant Song is still the most inspired choice of the film. Not sorry.

So, this is one of those movies which I felt was pretty over-hyped, to be honest. It is great fun, don’t get me wrong, it’s fresh and hilarious and subversive and way the Hell better than the previous Thor films, plus it has a great cast and strong visuals and they used Immigrant Song really effectively...but the tone of the film is an absolute fucking mess, the plotting is a shambles, and there’s nowhere near as much heart and weight underpinning it all as what there should be for a movie involving the near-total destruction of an entire civilisation. The majority of the movie is handed over to a shenanigan-heavy side-plot of no consequence to the central conflict, while the central conflict - LITERAL RAGNAROK - is relegated to a handful of scenes sprinkled across the film, obliterating any chance of it seeming meaningful or even particularly serious. The strongest point of the story is the final act, once Thor and company finally get to Asgard to confront Hela, but the narrative doesn’t earn that strong finish; it just goes to show how much more engaging the rest of the film could have been if they had stayed on track.

This is a big part of why this movie - while a delightful surprise on first viewing - doesn’t age particularly well on repeat; this was my fourth time through, and by the third quarter, as Sakaar draaaagged through its roster of jokes and pratfalls, my attention span was waning fast. Even if the entire garbage-planet sidebar was not distracting from what should have been a very serious main plot, I’m not sure it would remain engaging long-term, since it is rather spare and low on emotional/character investment; it’s not a pitfall of comedy that has to exist (heavily-emotional and/or dark comedies are definitely a real thing), but unfortunately, this is not a movie that is very interested in what has come before it, and it expresses that disinterest by neglecting any element of the established Thor mythology which might have brought this plot a sense of meaning. As such, rather than feeling like ‘the Thor movie that finally got it right’, it’s more like a reboot, with old characters unceremoniously ditched and any sense of purpose or import in old story threads or histories gone right alongside Asgard itself.

I’ve seen people praise this film for its ‘anti-Imperialism, anti-colonialism’ message, but I feel it’s a point weakly made onscreen; any depth to that argument would require a more sincere effort from the script in addressing those scant Asgard scenes, and as such, I feel that this element - though it isn’t completely wishful thinking - is much more in the eye of the beholder than it is a function of the narrative itself. The attempt to engage with any thoughtful discussion on Asgard’s legacy is a swift casualty of the film’s overall superficiality, just the same as the devastation of Asgard and the decimation of its population is blithely underplayed because, hey, Thor vs Hulk is worth way more attention than genocide, right? It’s that tonal dissonance in the two pieces of the plot which keeps me from really relaxing and enjoying the lightness, because that lightness is both excessive and out-of-place; I feel uncomfortable being asked to just shrug and go with it, I want to be emotionally involved and moved by the plight of the Asgardians, and instead I’m stuck watching Thor get a haircut and an eyeful of Hulk dick. Under almost any other circumstances, I would be all about a hard-comedy version of Thor, especially after the generic drudgery of the earlier installments in the franchise, but at the same time as Ragnarok? Not so much.

That said? This film is definitely not without quality. Comedic quality, for sure (anything with Taika Waititi’s name attached is worth a look), and there really are some great casting flourishes (though I maintain disappointment that the Asgard plot is so undersold, because it means Karl Urban and especially Cate Blanchett are under-utilised); for the interests of this blog, it’s that Scrapper 142 aka Valkyrie who forms the highlight (and she’s a worthy highlight without the context of this blog, too). Valkyrie’s drunk, angry sauntering and her snappy disregard for Thor’s righteous pontificating positions her within an archetype normally restricted to male characters only, too loose and unseemly for a female character, who might be found dislikeable and (horror of horrors) too sloppy to be sexy, whereas a man in the same archetype is funny, a ‘lovable asshole’, and the perception of his appearance is not tied up in his behaviour the same way nor is he under the same pressure to prioritise his appeal for the audience in the first place. Angry male drunkards who begrudgingly tag along with the protagonist in the end because they’re surly but not bad, those are a dime a dozen, but a woman in the same position? A rare gem indeed. And Valkyrie is more than just a fresh twist on an old cliche; her personality is grounded, it has a relatable simplicity (disillusionment with a side-order of survivor’s guilt), and there’s a confidence about the way she and the unspoken parts of her life are presented, without need to force a connection with Thor and his personal plight in order to justify Valkyrie’s actions or relevance to the plot. She’s an entirely self-contained character who could just as easily have the story to herself with no further mention of Thor et al., and that’s the hallmark of any well-constructed character: the ability to stand alone.

As a whole, this movie is far from bad - when I call it overrated, I am very much talking about the fact that it’s mostly a string of shenanigans with minimal narrative underpinning, and while that’s not a terrible thing in itself, I do think the hype around this movie implied that it had something more to offer than just laughs and a retro look. For me personally, the lack of emotional engagement and character stakes is close to a fatal flaw, and so while I enjoy this movie on a superficial level, it gives me nothing I need in order to really dig it (for others, obviously, this is not a problem). It always rubs me the wrong way to see something completely disavow previous chapters in the same story - there’s a big difference between developing an idea in a new direction, and simply ditching whatever you didn’t like about what came before - and I would have preferred to see this film make its changes with at least a modicum of respect for the foundations it is building upon (basic as the previous Thor films were, they weren’t catastrophic embarrassments). And yes, ultimately, the burying of the Ragnarok plot under a pile of Planet Garbage (feat. Jeff Goldblum) is just a little unforgivable in my mind, and it’s the first thing I think of whenever this film pops up; I really, really wish that Ragnarok were not part of this plot at all, that the Sakaar part of the story (i.e. the part that The Powers That Be were actually invested in, clearly) formed the bulk of the second film in the Thor franchise instead, since that movie basically sucked and took itself too seriously, and then the Thor film which took itself seriously could have been actually about Ragnarok. Basically, I wish that Marvel had gotten their shit together sooner rather than later with this part of the franchise, because while this worked out fine for them monetarily, narratively it’s just not a step I can get behind.

#Thor: Ragnarok #Marvel Cinematic Universe #MCU #Bechdel Test #female representation

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ughvaldez · 7 years

Text

my rambling thoughts about thor: ragnarok + thoughts for iw

!!!!spoilers!!!!

- the opening scene of thor vs surtur is brilliant

- odin!loki is one of the best thing in this movie. from the way he sits, eat his grapes, and saying “oh shit” when thor came... it was priceless. props to anthony hopkins for portraying it perfectly

- the cameo is also very hilarious

- brodinsons finding their father is also a good moment. i love how odin acknowledges loki and even said he was proud of him, while telling them both to work together.

- we’ll talk about hela later, along with my comment to other characters

- sakaar is really fun, all those colors and the ~theme music~ is just really cool

- i’d love to see more grandmaesters shenanigans

- korg is so precious bless him

- the final fight is also pretty spectacular since the people were literally trapped if loki the little shit didn’t come to help, and no one literally know how to defeat hela

- HELA. okay she’s cool and extremely powerful. she showed that she can single handedly killed the whole asgardian army and pin thor down and continuously producing weapons but i really wish we saw her make more destruction. i feel like from the trailer, they give us “shit is coming” however, when she’s on asgard, she literally made no destruction other than killing the army. i really wish we could see more of her powers.

- THOR. THIS IS THE THOR WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. he’s funny, he’s carefree, but he’s also wise. he’s like the bratty thor from thor 1, but less angsty than the other thor we’ve seen so far. this is the balanced thor. idk how to explain it but I LOVE IT. i love to see his new ability too, mainly his ability to communicate with heimdall.

- VALKYRIE. i really hope we see more of her in mcu- to see more of her in action and her conquest as a valkyrie. also, does she has a name? since valkyrie is name of the elite army, not the person.

- BRUCE. damn bby so precious and need to be protected at all cost. i mean, he turned back into hulk to save asgardians from fenrir, even though he knew he might not come back?????? *sobs*

- LOKI. okay tbh i didn’t really like him here. sure he’s hot as usual, and like i said that battle sequence is g l o r i o u s, i can’t wait to see them gifs on my dashboard, but loki seems very tame in this movie. in thor 1, his jealousy fuel him. in avengers, it’s his madness (?)- or possibly mind control, depends on which side you see him. in thor 2, it’s his grief and revenge. in this movie... he seems tame because he has nothing to drive him. i miss that drive in loki. we only saw it in the third act when he needed to protect the asgardians.

on the other hand, maybe it’s also because he has nothing to be angry for? i mean he got a taste of being king. he lost his parents already and thor is all he has left... and he’s obviously fond of thor as we can see in this movie. i think this is how loki was and should be, someone who just wanted to be by thor’s side. it seems very abrupt tbh, but in that universe it’s been 4 years since the dark world, so who knows, maybe loki already has time to reflect and be nice.

also i feel like they really downplay loki’s ability in this movie. yes, his fighting is amazing as we see in the final act, but he was beaten by valkyrie beforehand. and then for someone who’s supposed to be the best sorcerer in the nine realms, he was easily dodged by dr. strange. like???? he managed to spell odin, which even odin himself admit was hard to break. so theoritically, he could put a spell on someone to do what he said, and he could definitely use that in their escape effort but nooo they have to reduce him.

we saw his other new ability though, like it’s great to see how he could see someone’s memory and that his illusion is not easily dissolved as we believed it to be.

i can’t wait to see this calm loki meeting the avengers. they’ll flip. i can’t wait to see their reactions.

- I LOVE THE BRODINSON MOMENT. either the acting is just amazing, or their chemistry just works. by seeing at their gestures and facial expression you could see a strong brotherly bond. loki being scared of mjolnir and thor threatening loki with it. loki understood thor’s grief and try to cautiously calm him down, and didn’t try to fight when thor blamed him. thor rely on loki to attack hela in bifrost. loki begging/asking/bugging thor to speak in the freaky circle (i swear he looks and feel like a little brother begging his older brother to talk at that moment). loki being obviously sad when thor agreed with him that they path are not together anymore. thor already anticipated loki’s tricks by throwing stuff and electrocute him. loki smirking when thor recount the snake incident. LOKI SMIRKING WHEN THOR’S WENT FULL LIGHTNING LIKE HE WAS SO PROUD AND KNEW IT ALL ALONG THE EXTENT OF THOR’S FULL POWER like “finally this oaf got to used them”.

- and my favorite: “if you’re here i’d give you a hug” *throws shit* “i’m here”

*cue me screeching internally*

- i love how none of the asgardians are surprised loki come back to protect them, and neither did thor. they just strategize together immediately. like everyone knew they could depend on loki when shit gets real. *proudly sobbing*

- i have the feeling that the huge ass ship in the mid credit scene is thanos coming to grab the infinity stone, which i’m 10000000% sure loki took. i mean the next avengers movie is titled “infinity war” there’s no way in hell one infinity war got destroyed before the movie even started.

- i’m pretty sure stephen strange won’t be happy seeing the asgardians relocate to norway (”remember this place” it just so foreshadowing don’t you think?) i mean he let the brothers go in exchange for going back to asgard but they actually destroy asgard AND NOW RELOCATING TO EARTH

- no he won’t be happy

- come to think again, i don’t think any of the avengers would be happy

- now here’s the thing that confuse me for iw: it was obvious from the preview that loki was in ruins giving the tesseract to someone unknown.

whether suicide or not, loki deliberately let go and fall in thor 1. when he first came to earth in avengers, he didn’t look healthy either. and there’s no way in hell the director and make up artist set it to look like that without any meaning. however, in the dark world it went unmentioned and it seems like too many time has passed for it to be brought up again. and then this whole debacle about loki’s eyes.

we never knew what happened when he fell or why he looked unhealthy etc, so either it will be addressed in iw or it will went unmentioned and just become a plot hole. which means a) the brothers will reach earth and things will work out with loki in earth and asgardians and avengers b) the brothers will reach earth, but shit happens because hello, loki in ruins c) none of the brothers and asgardian reach earth, possibly the huge ass ship attack asgard’s ship, killing everyone and leaving thor stranded to guardians’ ship in the movie d) option c but only thor and loki survived e) something else entirely.

another thing is the last infinity stone is still m.i.a from mcu, and the final movie before iw is black panther, which is pretty unlikely to have the soul gem. so either it will appear in iw directly, or mcu will surprise us and showed it in black panther.

i feel like i’m squeezed dry already so bring it on 2018!

#thor ragnarok #infinity war #text

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what-even-is-thiss · 7 years

Note

I love learning new mythology stuff if you want to go in depth about your ideas! Admittedly I know the most about Greek mythology, so you might have to give more details on any other myths you use.

I know the most about Greek/Roman and Norse mythology and a bit from my ancient Egyptian obsession I had back in sixth grade, but I’ve dabbled just a little in Polynesian, Japanese, and Celtic mythology, as well as several folktales from around Europe and one or two Aztec myths, and I’ve been meaning to do some research on the Orisha from eastern Africa I think it is, but haven’t gotten around to it.

Anyways, I’ve been developing a bit of a complicated mythology themed universe in my head and it only gets more confusing as I add more pantheons to the list, so for right now for this explaination I’ll stick with the Greek, Norse, and Egyptian ones, and maybe touch a bit on the Hawaiian stuff, but I’m not as comfortable putting that out there because I’m not overly well read on that yet.

I’m putting a cut here for anybody that doesn’t want to read this, because it gets long and complicated, and I’m not even close to being done with it, and I’m giving you all the simplified version.

So, the beginnings of my idea started when I was reading that wonderful wonderful author Rick Riordin. Specifically a short story crossover between his Egyptian and Greek series. This got me wondering if I could possibly make any of these pantheons coexist long term.

So, I began with what I call cross-pantheon deities. These are children of gods/goddesses from different pantheons. But then I had to figure out a way that these gods could meet each other.

So, the gods of old in this universe are a magical species I call manas deva from the Sanskrit words for “invented” and “god”. They are beings that came to exist because of human belief, and are a bit more contained and limited than the traditional idea of gods, but still the most powerful beings in this universe. And now that they exist, they can go do things like screw a few mortals and dink around with the weather just for the hell of it.

So once in a while you’ll get someone, (probably Zeus if we’re being honest) hanging around a mortal pub or something disguised as a mortal, and another disguised god or goddess disguised as a mortal, and since the pantheons shouldn’t interact with each other they don’t know what to look out for and therefore don’t know they’ve made a huge mistake until the morning after when they both decide to mention oh yeah you just did the thing with a god bye.

And that’s where the cross-pantheon characters come from.

I’m still working on characters and plot, but my main characters are this guy Deon, who is a cross-pantheon son of Zeus Greek god of lightning and being a terrible womanizer, and Freja, Norse goddess of beauty, war, and uh, fertility. The other main character is his twin sister Talin, which is also his half sister. (And yeah, fraternal twins can have different biological dads, it happens look it up) Her dad is Ra, god of the sun and everybody worshiped him in ancient Egypt it was just the cool thing to do.

Our buddy Deon doesn’t like either side of his family, but he kind of depends on them because his immortality is all wonky. Norse deities stay young by eating special golden apples distributed by the goddess of youth and can be killed, whereas Greek gods are just eternally young and can’t die. Deon got an awkward combination of these traits and can’t be killed but still ages, so he has to keep both sides of his family okay with him and not run off to join the mortals or something, because he can’t die and there are complications like lost limbs that can come from that, and he keeps aging, so he needs those sweet sweet golden apples to keep looking like a fresh twenty something, because who wants to spend all of eternity with joint pain? One of his best friends, Asger, son of Aphrodite, son of Odin, has the opposite problem. He’s eternally young but can be killed.

Talin hates her dad and would like to just stay in Vanaheim with her brother and favorite cousins all the time(also she might have a girlfriend there but I haven’t invented her yet), but keeps going back to the sun and puts up with her dad because there are several people there in the realm of gods and spirits that depend on her. I’m still thinking through her motivations and backstory, but she’s shaping up to be quite dangerous. She’s loud and slightly violent and is confrontational in a good way. She believes she knows what is right and will fight for it. She and Deon make nice foils for each other because he is much quieter and shy and prefers a more sneaky or indirect approach to conflict and doesn’t see morals as something set in stone. He has charming abilities and will use his magic to get what he wants, all the while making the other person believe it was their idea. So, she’s the huntress, he’s the trickster. Neither of them are overly gorgeous by society’s standards but have the ability to trick people into thinking that they are because their mom is a love goddess. Does that make sense?

I’ve got all kinds of other side characters I’m working on. None of them are overly developed at this point, but here’s some of my more well thought out ones.

I’m calling this one Jessie for now. She/her Greek/Hawaiian. Dad is Kanaloa, Hawaiian god of the underworld and magic, mom is Kymopoleia, Greek Goddess of sea storms. You’d expect somebody with that parentage to be pretty volatile, and you’d be right. Pansexual Demigirl that’s best friends with Deon and Asger and Deon is a trans guy as of right now, but I might change that later, but anyways, Jessie and Deon first got to know each other as of right now because they both wanted a trans friend and she got to know Asger through Deon. But like I said, I’m thinking about changing a few things we’ll see how it goes.

Apollo. Yes, that Apollo. He looked away from the mirror just long enough to be one of Deon’s mentors and teach him how to shoot. This is a modern day story, so that includes guns as well as bows and arrows. Don’t get the impression he’s a good person here. He’s not. He just chooses to care about his siblings sometimes.

Asger. he/him My one straight cis character. I needed one in there. He’s the son of Aphrodite Greek goddess of love and Odin, leader of the Norse aesir gods. He became friends with Deon after finding out he also had a love goddess mom and they bonded over how their moms are both just the worst. He’s incredibly strong and people often call him if they need a giant or dragon disposed of and Thor isn’t avalible. He’s also good friends with Talin and they bond over being kind of violent. They both like weapons and fighting and whatnot. The Norse gods find them to be fun at parties.

Eric, Dalia, and Astrid. Not much of a backstory for these three yet, but they are former demigods that were made gods after the Norse deities found them useful. They deliver messages, because I noticed the Norse pantheon has a god of messengers, but they don’t have a god whose job it is to deliver messages, so I invented the story of the four messengers. One for each season. Eric son of Loki in the winter, Astrid daughter of Thor in the spring, Dalia daughter of Tyr in the fall, and Deon is the summer messenger. This is an interesting device, because all four of these characters are very powerful and useful, but one of them is missing at any given time, because during the season they work they are busy almost all of the time and the only way to get a hold of them is to deliver a message. I’ve got a whole complicated story planned out how they were all added one at a time over the course of a few centuries, but this post is getting too long anyways.

Freja. Goddess of beauty and war. She runs a house of fallen warriors that are training for ragnarok, same as Valhalla. She seems ditzy and is basically the world’s worst beauty pageant mom, but if you piss her off you will suffer a fate worse than any of the underworld gods/goddesses could imagine for you. Do not cross her. She can run in heels.

Zeus. I don’t need to talk about this guy, do I? He sucks. He just really sucks. Get him out of my face. He’s a horribly abusive parent.

Ra. Good king, bad dad. Argues with other sun gods/goddesses. Sol never has any time to talk to him because she’s being chased by a wolf. For crying out loud, Ra. Stay in your lane. Focus on your own thing. This is why you have like three cross-pantheon kids.

Yeah, those are the more developed ones. I have tons more, but I don’t think I have time to get into those.

As for what kind of plot I’d have in this context? That’s a little fuzzy. I’m thinking something like demigods and minor deities are going missing, and since the gods can’t exactly throw demigods or mortal heroes at the problem, because the problem is that they’re disappearing they send some cross pantheon gods because they’re pretty much on the lowest rung right above mortals in these godly societies and their parents don’t really care for them that much. So, it would probably follow several characters on their quest to find out what the freak is going on and why all these spirits and demigods and favored mortals are disappearing across so many pantheons.

That probably leads to all kinds of shenanigans, including various figures from these mythologies that aren’t supposed to meet crossing paths. I like to imagine a scene ending with Asger smashing in some Greek monster’s head with Mjolnir or a similar Norse weapon. Probably Typhon. Can we have Typhon, a giant monster with insane features and probably bigger than mount everest get defeated by a tap from Thor’s hammer? Please and thank you?

Anyways, it’ll probably be a very long time before I get all of my thoughts together enough to actually get a screenplay together because this is taking a lot of sorting out and it would probably be several movies long, but there’s the bare bones of my mythology themed universe for you. It all takes place in modern day, so imagining Apollo sitting on the couch eating cereal and watching the golden girls on Netflix is totally something you can do, and something I have done, obviously.

Thanks for reading all of that. It’s kind of a lot.

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jackstamper · 5 years

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Avengers Endgame-Spoilers after the Cut!

So, I saw Avengers Endgame yesterday, and found it amazing. But, while seeing it so early means Freedom from Spoilers...it also means having no one to talk about it.

So I’m doing the next best thing. Writing about my thoughts here on Tumblr and hoping, someone finds it and argues with me.

So, last warning, behind this here cut are two Top 5 rankings with PLENTY of Spoilers. If you have seen the movies, please read and tell me your thoughts! If you haven’t and want to be spoiled: Be my guest, and I gladly answer any question you may have about it. But if you want to stay unspoiled before going into the movie: Just don’t click on read more.

...all okay? Good. LEt’s start with some criticism

Top 5 underdevelopped plotlines in Endgame

5. The Aftermath of the Resnap

So yes, first big Spoiler: The dusted people ALL come back. To be fully precise: Five years elapse from Thanos Snap to the main action of Endgame. The world lived on, which, for the heroes, is most prominent in Tony Stark fathering a child. This makes a Reset-Button very tricky to use...Stark made it clear from the beginning, that his daughter is a priority, she should not vanish. So? They make the next logical wish on the Gauntlet.

Bring everyone back. Into the now. Everyone that snaps comes back into existence, but in this very minute.

The movie then STARTS to look into it, as Hawkeyes formally dusted wife calls him, and Cap notices a few more birds than normal in the trees. But before we can look into this some more...Thanos attacks and almost kills them all again. I mean...I expected at least Hawkeye to die from being bombed by an intergalactic spaceship, but seems his Ronin-Armor is tougher than I thought.

Anyway, this tragically cuts this plotpoint back a lot. Think about it: Everyone is back in the now. Families, that moved on, suddenly have their members appear among them. If they are lucky: Dozens of buildings are abandoned, and now suddenly people appear in them, confused, as to what happened. And remember that Post-Credits scene with Fury? People dusted while driving cars or Helicopters...do they materialize on the streets? In the air? What about aliens in space, who flew in Spaceships? Is it dependent, on where their dust lies? How will they react? Chances are, this results in a major panic. So many questions are unanswered, but...well, the movie didn’t seem to have quite the time for that.

4. Captain Marvel...who?

Here’s a thing about the whole movie: It gets a hundred times better, if you say the other 20+ movies before it. Heck, they basically visit several of the old movies. But Captain Marvel, in particular, is important...or, rather: The Post-Credits Scene. Because without it, you’d be completely confused, who this glowing woman at the start was.

Captain Marvel was...an oddity in this movie. From what we can tell, she’s clearly the strongest fighter of the group (Yes, even more so than Thor and Hulk), yet she basically disappears early in the movie, and only reappears halfway through the climax. Maybe they wanted her strength to not intervene with the plot? Her in-universe explanation of needing to help all the other planets after the Snap certainly wouldn’t have prevented her from going to the past with them and...saving all those other people from the snap.

But what might be the biggest dropped ball about her is her introduction. In that: She has none. Her intro was that Post-Credits scene from her movie. The Avengers are trying to keep the Pager alive, and she’s suddenly among them, asking for Fury. First thing we see here is her dragging Iron Man and Nebula back to earth and then hang around, as if she always was a part of the group. I’m not even sure they say her name once...and I think it would have been real easy to at least have Tony ask about her or something.

3. Rescue

Many people, even before the movie came out, started talking about Rescue and her being in the movie, and...that might cause some confusion for others. Rescue was not mentioned in the movie, and she comes out of nowhere...some foreshadowing notwithstanding.

To clear the confusion up: Rescue is Pepper Potts in her own set of armor. Early in the movie, Tony makes an armor (well, we only see the helmet) for her for their anniversary, but he says, she never wears something he made. And...that’s it. That’s all we get, until the final battle scene, where Pepper suddenly appears, wearing the armor. Not much is said about this, because basically everyone else appears as well, which...further undercuts the impact this has.

She has a few scenes in the movie, a corrdinated battle with Tony, rescuing Peter Parker and the Gauntlet, supporting Captain Marvel, and of course, telling Tony he can rest after the Final Snap. But as to why she donned the armor so quickly, how Dr. Strange knew he could throw her in, how SHE knew, she can fight here...no clue, no idea. Certainly could have benefitted a bit of an explanation...how about right after the Resnap, when Tony, after starting to think, everything worked, calls Pepper and tries to say, what’s up...only for everything to explode. This would give Pepper the immediate motivation to suit up herself...and heck, who cares about magic to bring her there, she just flew, and happened to arrive at the same time. But...yeah, the movie was already mroe than 3 hours, so...

2. Loki...kinda lives?

So, Loki gets his own Netflix-Series, which kinda means, he has to survive, right? Eh...well, Vision and Black Widow both get further content as well, and...they are kinda dead, or still dead at the end of the movie. Loki as well, but...wait, is he? No, he didn’t trick his death again...during time travel shenanigans, Tony accidentally gets knocked aside by Past Hulk, and looses the Tessarect, which lands to Past-Lokis feet. Loki, confused, but quick on his feet, grabs it and escapes. In the movie, the main setback was loosing the Space Stone and needing another timeline to get it. But...that kinda glances over a lot, doesn’t it?

First of all, the obvious: Loki is freed in a timeline, and has the Space Stone to go where he wants. Which...could be the perfect segway to his show, but said show is meant to be him reacting to different time periods...does he get the Time Stone as well? No? So...does Loki exist in the main timeline now? Or only this other time line?

For a moment I also thought, him disappearing with the stone means, now one of the Infinity Stones is actually gone from the Timeline, and the Ancient One has every reason to be upset with Bruce for lying, but...I guess he stayed in the same timeline, so, at least that is clear. But what exactly happened to Loki, and what it means to our timeline has not been answered at all.

1. Professor Hulk

This...is the big one for me. And it might not be, if there wouldn’t have been so much setup, and if it wasn’t such a big plotpoint in Infinity War.

So...the Hulk and Bruce Banner...kinda merged. In what is known as Professor Hulk. When we first see Bruce Banner, he is in Hulk-Form, but...retains his full intellect. And he explains, he basically made peace with the Hulk and merged Brains and Brawn.

And...it stays like that until the end.

There is one interesting insight, when the Ancient One seperates his consciousnes from his body, because suddenly, it’s the human body of Bruce Banner floating around, arguing with her...not the merged form. This might be a clue, that the persona of the Hulk is actually really gone...though personally, I hoped, that this was setting up a big reveal: At some point, I hoped, Bruce would give up arguing, and just say: “Get her”. And the Hulk suddenly tackles her. She kicked Bruce Banners Persona out, but the Hulks was still in the body, waiting for his partner to give the signal.

Sadly, this didn’t happen. Instead, the conclusion of the big “Why doesn’t the Hulk want to fight”-plot of the last movie is...completely off-screen. And all the conflict of the Hulk is gone. He even works as an actual professor...wait what? I...guess he’s not a wanted man anymore, but...that /is/ a big step. Would have been nice to see more development there, or a less wholesome state.

These things bothered me in the movie, because there were interesting points present...but they apprarently didn’t have the time to develop them properly. Which isn’t surprising, when the rest of the movie already takes 3 hours. Do they ruin the movie for me? Heck no, I love that movie! And it did take a surprising number of things and gave it the proper development and conclusion it deserved. I love this movie, and I will probably make more lists or talk more like this, and hope some people interact with me about this!

Bonus Point, that bothered me: Limited Pym Particle-Plotpoint. According to Ant-Man, they only have enough Pym Particles for each of them to take two Time Trips, after all the testing is done. One trip to the past, and one trip back. First obvious point: Get the Timestone, and you have all the Time Travel options in the world. Have Tony and Bruce take a look at the particles, get Pyms Formulas and try to synthesize more, just in case. But no, the main Problem I have with that, is: Pym Particles were not the stuff that made them time travel, it only made them shrink enough TO time travel. So...everyone can only shrink and regrow twice...really? Someone better tell Scott Lang this, since he shrinks during the Caper, and changed his size multiple times.

#MCU Endgame Avengers AvengersEndgame

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