#why can't I just exist & function like a normal fucking person???

[byanyan]

anyway I'm still struggling, still mentally & emotionally exhausted, and still just haven't got the brainpower for writing 🙃

#it took me longer than I'm willing to admit to even put that tiny hc post into words #so uhm. yeah replies & asks are still just not on the table and I'm sorry about that #I'm so mad bc I was getting caught up & I was doing well and now......... back to this adhgjsg #I'm so fucking tired dude I'm so adjgksh #why can't I just exist & function like a normal fucking person??? #sorry for all my complaining on the dash I just. have nowhere else to put it #and even though I tell myself I shouldn't feel bad for being slow... I do. I feel a constant need to apologize & it's stupid #I think part of me is afraid that if I'm not active enough everyone will lose interest #which is ridiculous but after all the self reflection I've been doing this week it makes sense #anyway adjgksh sorry. ignore me ig I needed a teeny vent #here's hoping tomorrow is better #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me. #negative cw #personal cw #tbd.

[readymades2002]

this is really fucking me up actually. i have been trying just...so many little changes to how i communicate to try and be better and more honest because its killing me to live like this and every time i feel like it backfires. let me confide some of my most vulnerable feelings about growing up traumatized to you so you can immediately privately tell your friend that those feelings of fear are right and now i have to continue being around you nearly 24/7 pretending not to know you feel that about me. let me ask bluntly to be allowed to do something for myself to be interpreted the exact opposite way and iced out. let me tell you i'm gay and not to tell joe about it only for you to ignore that and tell him and everyone else. let me vent on my blog as a teenager only to find out you've been stalking it for months. let me tell you about the trauma of being hospitalized so you can immediately use it as a weapon against our mother the next time you get into a fight. let me tell you for the first time i want to kill myself only to be told that if i want to die so badly why don't i just do it. there is no one in my life i can confide in about anything there is no one i can trust with anything. my life doesn't belong to me. she keeps walking past me while she gets ready for work and i just freeze and stop being able to do anything i can't focus i can't concentrate i can barely hold it together long enough to not break down crying. i don't know what to do. i don't know what i'm supposed to do

#i dont use this word often because it feels like my experiences aren't severe enough to warrant it but this really is triggering me i think #its not like i didnt know but hearing her say it is like. hearing her say it in a way meant to be secret. #she's been lying this whole time. every time she says she loves me i dont know how im supposed to believe it #if she's doing this why wouldn't my sibling be doing it? why wouldn't everyone be doing it? #i'm fucking devastated. i feel like i'm drowning i don't know how i'm supposed to keep carrying on as normal #i dont fucking do anything i know but it takes so much for me to just. to get up and be alive. i dont know what to do about this #and on top of that i decided to restart the thing ive been working on and i havent been able to concentrate #at fucking all for obvious reasons and i have to submit it today and its just nothing. its so rough #im supposed to be halfway done with it! i mean ill be able to work on it now that its better and doesnt hurt me to look at #but im so fucking mad at myself for being so unable to function just existing around other people that i can't do this #the shame im feeling is immense like there is not a person in my life im not letting down right now.

[pluralcultureis]

Plural culture is just vibing and then seeing a singlet explain why you shouldnt self diagnose being a system and you just having. To sit there like. 'Bitch what I am I gonna do, pretend my alters dont exist? I tried that once and it was beyond detrimental to my mental health'

SINGLETS. PLEASE. GOOD GOD. Yes being professionally diagnosed is better than self dxing BUT 1. I HAVE MET SYSTEMS WHO HAVE TRIED TO BE DXED AND TURNED DOWN and 2. not being professionally dxed doesnt magically make your symptoms not impact your life until you are. Omfg.

A diagnosis is an *explanation* and something you can use to get accommodations, its not something that gives you the disorder fucking hell

Ppl in general just need to understand a diagnosis doesn't mean you start having something, it means you've had it the whole time.

And a lot of ppl DO notice their symptoms first. In fact, with ALL of our mental disorders (depression, anxiety, PTSD, paranoid personality disorder, ADHD, autism) we had ti self diagnosis first!!

We had to bring up that we thought we might have something, and want to figure out if we're right or not and then figure stuff out from there!

And ya know what, if you're wrong the worst that would happen is a therapist can help you figure out what it really is, and then you get help with that!

Also diagnosis can be expensive! Or unavailable! Or the only ppl you can afford/reach don't believe in your disorder, or aren't educated enough on it, or any other reason and then someone can't get a diagnosis!!

Self diagnosis means you recognize something isn't normal, and you can find ways to make you function in a way that benefits you.

#endos dni #osdd #pdid #did #did system #pdid system #osddid #actually did #traumagenic #actually dissociative #plural culture is

[vorpalfae]

Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

#kh

[saccharineomens]

A small Chainsaw Man Analysis

They're referencing this post:

(Sorry i can't respond to your ask directly, tumblr kept crashing)

LMAO ok Anon you win but I can’t promise this will be very articulate or coherent

Ok so when I first heard about Chainsaw Man I heard it was The Manga Of All Time and the anime has been Majorly Hyped and Everyone Loves It so I was curious. Then I went and watched the anime and I was like ‘huh ok I mean. It’s good but it’s not like mindblowing.’

Then I read the manga all the way to the end of part 1 and I understood.

So the world of Chainsaw Man is set in a Fucking Bleak reality. Like, overwhelmingly so. The fact that devils exist and can murder humans on a whim and it’s basically treated as an unavoidable inconvenience because how the hell can you stop them, really, when they’re functionally immortal? The best you can do is kill them, send them to Hell, and hope they don’t die there and revive back on Earth. The protagonist is a 16 year old orphan who sold parts of his body to pay off a “noodle incident” debt inherited from his father, and then the kid was murdered by the yakuza he owed money to because they decided they liked devils, actually, and didn’t want him around killing them. In CHAPTER ONE. Why would anyone enjoy reading about a story set in a world like this?

Because of Aki, and Power, and the family Denji created with them. It takes a while for the ball to get rolling in the story, because they’re strangers at the beginning, but any manga reader is gonna know what I mean when I talk about how they love each other. Denji comes across as a sex-obsessed, horny teen, but that’s just because he craves emotional intimacy and sex is the only way he thinks he could get it. The truth is that his shower/bath with Power was the exact kind of vulnerability and intimacy he was craving, and it WASN’T sexy. The narrative didn’t treat it as sexy. Denji even notes that it wasn’t sexy, to his surprise, but it was nice to be able to be vulnerable with another person. Then there’s Aki, who imprinted on Denji and Power so hard he straight-up was considering quitting being a devil hunter so he could just live a normal life with his new family. He was willing to abandon his obsession with the gun devil, something that he’d been driving his will to live for years, for them. It was Himeno’s death and the letter he read that made him realize that the life of a country mouse might not be so bad, if it’s with the people he loves. (I know that’s a loaded sentence out of context but manga readers know what I mean when I bring up the country mouse, right)

I bring all of this up to show how even in a grim, dark, depressing world like Chainsaw Man, there is hope; and that hope comes in the form of love. Love in a general, not romantic, sense. Love of having toast and jam for breakfast, love of a movie, love of a family.

Now, to Makima.

Makima is Really Fucking Goddamn Powerful. She is literally reality breaking, almost as much as Chainsawman. (For the purposes of this essay, I’m referring to Pochita/Chainsawman and Denji as separate entities.) Makima is able to control anyone so long as she feels she has power over them, and she has a contract with the fucking Prime Minister. That’s a terrifying power. She’s literally the manifestation of the fear of being controlled.

And that’s a lonely existence.

Pochita/Chainsawman says it himself. When you’re so powerful, you struggle to make connections with people. Either they worship you and put you on a pedestal, or they fear you. You can’t get close to anyone, no matter how hard you try. The only way Pochita was able to do so was because Denji had no idea who Chainsawman was.

Makima doesn’t show this emotional weakness of hers, because it directly opposes her powers. If people saw her as needing connections with other people, they wouldn’t respect/fear her, and she would literally become weaker as a result. (The same way that as Chainsawman becomes more beloved by the general populace as a Hero, he becomes weaker.) But there’s a point where we, the audience, get to see this side of her. In her date with Denji.

Quick recap (of one of the best chapters in the whole manga, thematically): Denji and Makima go on a date at a movie theater. They sit and watch like six movies in a row over the course of the day. The first five are packed with people and are funny/entertaining, but not very deep. Neither Denji nor Makima are very impressed with these. Then…I’ll just post the comic here.

The final movie they see is more of an indie arthouse film. Most importantly, it shares an intimate, vulnerable moment between two people who hug. Denji cries because he sees this thing he craves, as I’ve elaborated on. Then he looks over and sees that Makima is also crying. We already know why, as Pochita said: she is unable to get close to anyone, due to the nature of her powers and the nature of her being a devil. Because of this, Makima craves connections with other people.

Makima straight up tells the audience why she’s doing the things she’s doing. If she has control over Chainsawman, she can have him eat other devils and create a world where those fears never existed. She truly, honestly believes this would make a happier life for humans. But the problem with that mentality is that in a world without bad things, in a world without fear…there’s no good things, either. How do you tell how “good” a good thing is, if you have nothing to compare it against? How can you tell that one in five movies is “good”, if you don’t experience the other four?

Why would anyone enjoy reading about a story set in a world like this? Because despite all of the horrible things that happens, love exists. It shows up over and over and over again. Love exists. It was there. It mattered. It was worth fighting for.

That brings me to the conversation between Makima and Denji I love so much, and why the end of Part 1 works so well.

Makima thinks that a world without bad movies fear would be better. She thinks that in this world, she could be loved. She thinks that in this world, humans could be happy forever because they never suffer hardship.

And Denji knows for a fact that that's wrong, because without bad movies, the good movies don't stand out. You can't say that jam and toast is a great breakfast if all you've ever eaten is jam and toast for breakfast.

And that's why Makima is tragic (because she's never experienced the love that Denji has, and never experienced the hardships he has), and that's why Makima is wrong.

And all of this, the whole conflict of the story, is summed up in three lines between Denji and Makima in a graveyard. It's perfect.

#it's also why i love makima. she's such a great character #chainsaw man #chainsaw man spoilers #chainsaw man analysis #csm #csm spoilers #makima #denji #denji hayakawa #op #axbox #anon

[ftmtftm]

I’m sorry but until xenogenders and neopronouns can understand that I don’t want to “share my pronouns”, that I want to go through life as a normal, binary man, that I want assumptions to be made, that t isn’t some fun thing but a medical necessity for the rest of my life, that being trans isn’t a celebration but a condition for me and that I never want to be in a pride parade or even really open about it, until y’all can respect that, every single one of you, at least the fucking majority of you, then i can’t take anything seriously. I have been outed, assaulted, misgendered, and a whole bunch of other shit by “Tucutes” who walked all fucking over me as a binary trans person, I’ve been forced to be okay with they/them pronouns and been forced to be called the t-slur by a fake trans person because it was “affirming” for them to use on “other trans people”, I’ve been forced to wait years for t because the lines weee clogged up because people wanted to microdose it because they didn’t actually want the effects but they wanted to feel special, I’ve been outed as trans by fake trans people who want everyone to know what a cool catch I am, I’ve been told how gross t made me, I’ve been pushed out of every space that makes an effort to include as many people as possible because they start using rhetoric that sounds like the same rhetoric my transphobic father uses.

I cannot ever find joy in being trans, there is nothing to find joy in for me. Ever. I’m sick of people acting like it’s fun and silly and goofy. I’m sick of people appropriating a medical condition. I will always be sick of it. I am truly sorry that you had someone assault you and that they happened to be part of a community that I am also, but all transmeds want is some fucking respect for not doing this for whatever “euphoria” or political reason but because we fucking have to. All we want is respect and to not have our medical condition turned into playing make believe that you’re a “catgender” or an alien or whatever the fuck, do that on your own terms I don’t care, but the association with dysphoria and the fact that you will spit in the fucking faces of dysphoric binary trans people? That’s why transmeds exist

.

Bullet points because genuinely, my patience is beginning to run very thin for you anon. My ask box and the new post button have two separate functions and I think there is one you should be using instead of the other.

This is just attention seeking behavior at this point, and I'll give it to you and I'll be compassionate but I won't let your shit slide.

I'm sorry, but this is genuinely like looking in a mirror at my 15-20 year old self and it sucks and I honestly feel very sorry for you. Your pain and upset is very real. Your feelings do matter. And? You need to talk to a mental health professional. Serious advice. You need a therapist or some kind of support group if you do not have one already. That is a lot of baggage that deserves to be explored with someone who can genuinely help you in a controlled environment - not the askbox of random trans people you take issue with because they remind you of traumatic events in your life. Your triggers and people who remind you of people who have hurt you are your responsibility to deal with. It's not the business of people who are literally just living their lives in ways that make them happy. The world doesn't need to change around you for your own comfort, you need to change yourself to make yourself comfortable.

It's honestly okay if being trans makes you upset. It's okay to lament and even grieve a life you wish you had but can't have because you are not cis. Again though, that is not an issue that people who aren't like you are causing though. It's genuinely your business to deal with those emotions - not theirs.

You are not a doctor. You are not a medical professional. You are not the one giving care and other people's medical needs, decisions, and histories are none of your g'ddamn business. It is absolutely ridiculous that wait times are what they are and that access to care is not what it should be - but that is a failure of the system not the people. You legitimately sound like working class folks who complain about people on food stamps "taking up all the government resources" and people who complain that "immigrants are taking all our jobs" right now. You are putting the burden of the system onto the individual when it legitimately isn't their fault. Ultimately you are actively being failed by the medical system you are attempting to covet, not by your fellow trans people.

I've also been told I'm disgusting for being on T. I've also been told I'm disgusting for wanting facial and body hair, for feeling comfortable in my masculinity, for loving being a man in all of its complexities. Even by other trans people. You are not alone in that experience. The solution to working through those emotions isn't to throw conservative complaining about food stamps and immigrants level tantrums about it like you are doing now though.

Being trans can be fun. Being trans can be silly and goofy. Again, it might not be that way for you and it sounds like you've been in an environment where you're not allowed to love yourself for any reason, let alone for being trans, so it's probably very hard for you to conceptualize experiences outside of your own - but you sound... very young. I promise it gets better with time and distance. Please leave the environments you are in when you are able, they don't sound healthy for you.

Point of order: My ex was not a transmedicalist, by any means. I was assaulted by them and felt disgusting and dysphoric because of it and found transmedicalism on my own afterwards to try to validate my sense of self. I was hurt by someone else and then turned my hurt into a weapon. It sounds like you've been hurt and are also turning that hurt into a weapon. I hope some day you're able to put it down.

#asks #anon #long post / #assault / #anti transmedicalism #anti transmed

[tinyjellyfishy]

I know people are going "KISS HER!!! WHY DIDN'T THEY KISS!!!" about that imodna conversation, and I would have been extremely happy if they did! But I'm a little saddened because calling for that feels like it misses the explicit and incredibly queer message given by their relationship because it's looking for what's been defined in expectation to be love. It misses the power that exists in undefinition.

"It transcends words, our relationship."

"You are my strong foundation." "You're my tether."

"i love you so much." "i love you more than anything." They say this while they're hugging. They punctuate this incredibly heartfelt and world-defining love by holding onto each other tight like they'll never see each other again. Women who fight for the other and have saved each other again and again. This is love. This is a love confession.

It just doesn't end with a kiss.

There is an undeniable love and care. You cannot miss how devoted these women are to eachother. It’s simply a fact. But Laudna says it herself: their relationship is beyond definition. Beyond label. It is all encompassing, all surrounding, like being soulmates. And Laudna says it doesn't have a label, because their love just-- is. Not friendship, not dating, might not call it a QP, not a mere partnership, not anything but Laudna and Imogen. Just look at it. They don't NEED to kiss to tell you how much.

I will fully admit i'm greyroace with a tenuous understanding on love despite being in my own relationship: specifically the lines in the sand between platonic and romantic feelings and what either entail. There are SO many psychology theories on various typings that frankly the best conclusion you can come to is "love is love slashy-face :/" it's all a nebulous strange connection humans being make. Love is beyond definition because man fuck, what the hell are we talking about.

And yet, without understanding it, love is powerful. It's the connection that makes two people think about living away on a horse ranch together peacefully, the kind that makes them plunge into eachother's personal hells to lead them by the hand to sunlight. It's cuddling in the night while holding eachother's hands. And it's Laudna and Imogen's. They’ve said it outloud: they are the other's better half to a better whole, and more important than anything else. You can't deny that. And it’s so wonderful to see such an incredible relationship. It doesn’t NEED to have The Big Kiss as its overture.

A kiss is not the grand thing of a relationship; weirdly, a lot of writers tend to completely STOP the story at The Big Kiss and not be able to let the characters have a functional relationship. Laudna and Imogen are unbelievably intertwined, they LOVE EACHOTHER. There's no "will they won't they" tension or dancing around the idea of dating and being girlfrienda and the squee of hot goss (which i do still enjoy btw c2 was very fun for many reasons). They are so wholly comfortable in the other. Like the old type of love between long time married couples, the kind where it's so ingrained it's simply routine. Sometimes prone to insecurity and bumps (rocks.) but every relationship has that, and the great thing is that their other friendships are there to support them, just as important to rounding out their circles, unlike some stories that would sacrifice or flander them. for the sake of the love story. They're Imogen and Laudna, Laudna and Imogen, close with their friends but eachother most of all. Imodna IS canon. Its arc is just something that isn't about what we'd call the romance of it.

It feels like demanding they needed to kiss in order to officialize(?) their love enforces a strange binary that makes their relationship lesser and unrecognized as meaningful unless they engage in traditionally romantic gestures. It's the same societal allonormativity that places a false hierarchy on romantic versus platonic relationships, that dismisses "Do you really think we were meant for normal?" Laudna asks. Isn't that ambiguity and lack of definition what queerness is for?

If they kiss in the future I will be very very happy! If you make them fluster and awkward in ur funnie fictions go wild. But maybe I've just been recently fatigued with fan culture in general ignoring the beauty and complexity of various relationships and character stories because of this narrow idea often rooted in an overemphasis on shipping culture. Denying the value in the forest because it didn't have your specific tree.

#cr spoilers #critical role #imodna #laudna cr #imogen temult #meta #cr3 #jelly toasts #this isn't to say anyone's been majorly pissy shitty abt it but it IS a pattern i think is notable just because of the kneejerks i saw

[rayshippouuchiha]

yo i'm seeing a lot of dishing about the purity culture of fandom and i absolutely agree

but i'd like to ask

do 'incest fic' count, i mean specifically i'm in the batfam fandom and if you try and write pairing with batman's adopted kids /former robins together everyone and their mother starts screaming at you both online and on ao3, and if you point out the lack of blood relation all you get it 'it's still incest oh my god you're a horrible person who doesn't believe in adopted sibling relationships' and like... i just wanna smush the two pretty vigilante characters together, it's very exhausting, and it also applies to discord, the fandom is very hardcore about policing this and like I get it to an extent because I've seen a lot of posts about how 'seeing batcest on my dash turns my stomach' 'having to scroll past bastcest on ao3 to get anything good is disturbing and disgusting' and tagging, is not enough for these people, i've seen some poor fools pointing out instances of real life adopted siblings who've ended up together due to the adoption being their parents decision ect and the vitriol that's met with is very aggressive, they basically just don't want it to exist and don't want people who ship it to feel safe talking about it out in the open on tumblr because it's weird and something to feel ashamed of that you shouldn't force 'normal people' to see.

And it's like, why do I have to be treated like a fucking leper in online spaces over a ship? It's literally scarlet letter shit where if someone posts something with nightwing x red hood art even if it's cute and utterly harmless like one of them blushing over a hot chocolate people will literally go into their mutuals askbox and 'warn' them that that person you reblogged from likes batcest. Legitimately. It's so toxic.

See, if you're tagging your ship correctly, if you're rating it correctly, if you're posting it in the appropriate places, if you are making it clear what it is that you've created so that others who don't want to interact with it can keep scrolling without clicking or can use their blacklist functions, then you're not doing anything wrong and your responsibility is pretty much over.

And that goes for any ship, any trope, and any fic in any fandom.

It does not matter.

No singular person or group of people has the right to police an entire fandom just because there's content being created that they don't personally like or agree with.

As long as those creators are keeping their content to the appropriate places (i.e. not posting explicit material in a general audience server or purposefully putting ship content under the wrong tag to force others to see it) then it's everyone else's responsibility to curate their own fandom experiences by using blacklists, mute functions, exclude filters, the block button, or just not clicking on content they know they don't like or agree with.

There are ships and tropes that turn my stomach. I don't want to see them, consume them, or even think about them because they squick me out.

And that's on me.

So I block, I blacklist, I mute, and I don't click.

Because the burden of responsibility for what I consume in fandom is on me.

Fandoms are like villages. Yeah, we're all living in close proximity but that doesn't give anyone else the right to come into my house uninvited and tell me they don't like my decor or that I can't cook this particular meal in my kitchen because they are allergic to it even though I never invited them to dinner.

So ignore the people who try and do that.

Tend your roses, fill your shelves, make your meals, and enjoy yourself instead.

#Fandom #RayRambles

[viviennelamb]

People depend on their social relationships to do anything. Most people cannot function alone and will destroy their entire lives just because one social relationship didn't pan out the way they wanted. Having zero resiliency isn't something to give into, you need to continue your purpose despite what your current circumstances show you. That's the only way you will grow, growth doesn't come from emotionally retarded people who waste your time. If you live for the opinions of your friends and family, can you call that living? I really don't think people understand what codependency is... if somebody's attention or lackthereof stops you from doing what you want, you're codependent.

Fornicators will always turn against each other. They don't have loyalty, respect and they are incredibly jealous. Conflict and arguing is their way of "deepening" relationships as well and think harboring thinly veiled contempt is normal. They will push you to open up to them, but when you do they'll say there's something wrong with what feel. You can't ever be your true self around them, otherwise they will judge and ridicule you because that's what they do to themselves. All lustful people despise their inner-child and want to kill her, prioritizing the body as well as objectifying other people. They are totally incapable of seeing God in others which is why they can't love. They're all bullies who thrive on being mean pieces of shit and can't handle 5% of receiving what they dish out.

Everybody should always forgive them for their transgressions, but they will get on somebody else for the exact thing they wanted forgiveness for. That's why they can't get along for shit, but they can't stay away from each other because they need somebody to validate their existence, even if that person decreases the quality of their life. They're inherent liars who say they "only care about x group" because that's who they want to fuck. you're stupid if you think it's out of nobility.

Wanna know how I know? Because their tune changes once you're a real person whose resolutely pure and has higher expectations. What masturbators should say is that they only care about their fellow solo-fuckers. The way they regulate their emotions is fucking you until you become as mentally ill as them. To them, "kindness and solidarity" is fucking you to death like they've done to themselves. Expecting actual compassion from them is an impossibility because they don't know what that is and everything they think is warped. Once they stop using self-harm as a coping mechanism to dealing with the world, they will see the true nature of humanity, but until then, there's nothing on this page for them. But they can keep looking to entertain themselves, it's better for their health.

[ilikekidsshows]

The thing I don't like from the senti theory that been going around lately in the fandom is that some people like to simplified and reduce Adrien's reaction and act simply because Gabriel create him that way. Adrien having trouble to express his anger? Oh it's because he's created that way. Adrien is a people pleaser? Yeah that's because Gabriel create him that way. Adrien can't talk back to his father? Gabriel made him can't do it by twisting his ring! Gabriel commanded Adrien and he comply? That's because Gabriel has his amok! They agree that Adrien is abused but most of them also agree that Adrien's inability to fight back Gabriel command is solely because of the amok not a trauma respond or at least mostly the former.

I'm a firm believer that senti Adrien is a big bullshit because if Gabriel has that power to control Adrien 24/7 then he would do it without hesitation, he won't need to wait until Adrien show a sign of rebelling to use it. He would do it every fucking single time! This is Gabriel, the same person who mock Ladybug and Cat Noir for getting sentimental over a sentimonster after all.

If I have a power that could control my son-puppet emotion, feeling and action, I wouldn't bother to manipulate-gaslight him. It's a waste of time and energy. He doesn't like the pancake I made? Twist the amok and he would eat it without protest. No effort needed. Unless this is the whole Even Evil Has Standard but I doubt it is.

This is another case of the Senti Stans being completely unaware of the implications of the things they’re saying. Like, they do not mean to imply the things they imply, you’ll see this in how genuinely angry and defensive they get every time someone points out said implications. This doesn’t change the fact that almost every single time a new defense of SentiAdrien shows up, it does indeed imply some stuff that really grinds people’s gears.

Because, here’s the thing; chalking up Adrien’s trauma responses as being a result of him being a Sentimonster is literally saying that he acts the way he does because he is not human. This idea that his Sentimonster programming informs his behavior is the same thing as saying that these actions make more sense if he’s not human. Said actions being trauma responses creates the implication that people who act like they’ve been traumatized act in unreasonable, weird or inhuman ways. It’s literally othering trauma victims as something other than a “normal” human.

This is why people who are against the SentiAdrien concept say that the concept makes light of Adrien’s story being an abuse story. The Stans can claim until they’re blue in the face that they still view Adrien’s abuse as abuse, but everything else they say creates implications that ring as the opposite, especially when they say that him being a Sentimonster would “explain” his or Gabriel’s behavior, when nothing about their situation is different from a real life abusive relationship.

If something already happens in the real world, unless the fictional universe is changing its mechanics, it requires no fantastical explanation. In the world of Equestria, seasons don't pass naturally, so the ponies need to pull off a Winter Wrap-up to change winter to spring. The only reason Gabriel's abuse and Adrien's responses to it would need to be explained is if neither existed naturally in the world of Miraculous. And, since Miraculous seems to be functioning similarly to our world when it comes to family stuff, that would be like the show was denying the actual existence of abusive families, especially if all the rich/abused kids are Sentimonsters, which is the popular current take on the concept.

In a fandom where people still vilify Adrien for his trauma responses, let’s not give the hatedom even more reasons to demonize him by saying him being a Sentimonster explains jack shit. It just gives people who don’t sympathize or empathize with trauma victims a free pass.

Here’s the thing about Gabriel’s characterization in a SentiAdrien situation: it doesn’t work no matter how you spin it. No matter what he’ll come out of it with inconsistent characterization and his behavior not making sense.

Option one is that Gabriel doesn’t care about Adrien and doesn’t care about Sentimonsters. That means that he would be using the Amok constantly to get out of dealing with Adrien wanting different things than he does, but he doesn’t do that so it’s inconsistent.

Option two is that Gabriel loves Adrien and therefore doesn’t want to control him. Then why is he okay with other people keeping hold of his son’s essence when he couldn’t trust them to begin with (Félix) or is learning he can’t trust them anymore (Nathalie)? It still doesn't make sense.

Either way we spin Gabriel’s relationship to his remote-control robot son, it just doesn’t work. Even if we go back by about a year back to the third option of Gabriel not knowing Adrien is a Sentimonster, that would just make all the Sentimonster “foreshadowing” nonsense.

#ml fandom salt #sentitheory salt #adrien is not a sentimonster #I'm transferring over to the sentitheory salt tag because this theory has gotten so broad at this point

[chimericchaos]

Minor rant, yes I did just come from the Big Tugg video on how english is stupid and I entirely agree with him on that

What I do not at all agree with is the opening of the video entirely dedicated to hating children - he just goes out of his way to say "oh yeah before I start this video, I fucking hate kids" and then gives a list of things kids don't know, (because, they're kids) and dunk on them for not knowing stuff

And I find it kinda ironic the person who says that kids should not feel proud of learning- sorry, memorizing- the alphabet, also mispronounces the word Celtic not ten seconds later. Perhaps we all could learn a thing or two by expanding our general knowledge and studying cultures and languages outside our own?

Speaking of languages, side-tangent-within-a-side-tangent, removing s or k and compounding them both into c is a shit take that I'm seeing way too much, when the obvious answer is to get rid of c, it only functions as a replacement for s or k and in either function it creates unnecessary problems (it's really unnecessary for "unnecessary" to be spelt like that but different topic) and that's why a Bunch of fucking languages around the world do Not include a c, such as the language I was forced to learn since birth and Still cannot speak: Afrikaans. There is not a single c in that language and I have never had a spelling mistake from s or k ever. Other mistakes sure but not concerning those.

And you may be wondering "well why can't we just contract the sounds into less letters to save space in the alphabet?" Because while that would not necessarily be so bad, that shit gets real out of hand real fast the more you do it, and all I'm saying is don't come knocking when you can't spell doodle when your a's are also e's and your u's are also i's

Anyway back to the topic of hating kids

This may seem like a wildly specific rant about one youtuber mentioning it offhand once, but I assure you this is not the first time today I've heard this. I hear this multiple times a week. From different people

For some damn reason it's kinda always been a popular take to hate kids and openly talk about how much one would like to see them suffer, and I don't fucking understand it at all???

Like, ok, you find their constant questions and mumbles and movements and other weird sounds very annoying, cool, I find the several cats outside my window doing many unsavoury things to each other each and every night annoying but I still don't talk about it like it's ok to hurt them

And maybe we can take a moment to rationalize the fact that kids tend to ask a lot of dumb things and say a lot of dumb things, because they're dumb?? they have far less experience on this earth than anyone who knows the definition of "economy", and do not yet know how to do basic living shit like how to cook a whole ass chicken, and they don't need to just yet, that's the point

People who don't know shit are going to do and say things as a consequence of not knowing shit

And this is very much a long-winded vent about something that doesn't really effect me at all, but I do in fact see it as a personal problem because not too long ago I too was a kid that didn't know shit, and I was a piece of shit because of it, sure, but something I very much remember is having to deal with people who hated me simply for existing, and I no longer have to deal with people hating my existange as a child, yes, but I still have various other unchangable things about myself that people hate me for, so through that experience I don't think it's a good thing to hate kids just because they're kids, regardless of how annoying the youtube comments are, and at the very least if you're going to think the spawn of your fellow humans are actually the spawn of satan, please do not talk about like it's a normal ass thing

And hey, maybe there's also a part of my brain that has yet to even fucking register that I'm in my roaring 20's now, so that may be why when I come across people hating kids I feel personally attacked

So with that knowledge, if you say to me that you hate kids, for whatever reason, rest assured I already hate you

[versegm]

OH FUCK I meant to send you a Director's Commentary thing when you reblogged it BUT I FORGOT anyway how about the deets on "And the Audience Clapped"? (If you're still in the mood)

For you? Always <3

The actual fic has a trigger warning for uh. Everything? The base premise of the fic is "Guda has incredibly disturbing intrusive thoughts and does not react well to them" so even if I don't think I'll get into details in my play by play, tw for thoughts of sexual violence, onscreen self-harm and suicide attempts, and overall blorbo from my show spiralling bad.

My primarily goal when writing this was "I want to see how fucking worse I can make Guda." But I'm a weenie I actually like bad endings so my secondary goal was "but I want it to end well."

I have absolutely no idea if I succeeded. I feel like I chickened out too much tbh (<- squicked out by sexual violence) and as for the ending I'm often told that what I qualify as a "good/okay ending" is often "fucking horrifying" to other people. Still I like the final result so that's everyone else's problem. This was however a nightmare to tag which is why I just went the "choose not to use archive warnings/fuck around and find out" route, because if I tagged everything it would be WAY too long.

Anyways. "What if the player was an outer god." I post about it a lot in a comedic tone over here. I wrote it as self indulgent porn somewhere else. But I really wanted to take it in a more... realistic? Direction I guess? What if things weren't automatically fine and ok because the story demanded it. What if it was in fact an incredibly distressing situation to be in. I don't like writing monsters are villains (not my vibe) but that does not mean the monster loving you & having good intentions should always be an instant smooth sailing. Which really means that Guda will be stuck in intrusive thoughts central for nearly 6k.

Now for a more specific play by play of the fic:

The problem with writing the POV character being possessed is that it is incredibly hard to showcase when "this is something normal from the character" vs "this is someone else speaking through the character" (doubly so when the character themself does not realize the possession is happening) So I was at times less than subtle about it. In case it wasn't clear, this is the player being worried about Guda, and Guda misinterpreting the feeling because "this is someone else's thought" is not typically the first conclusion people would draw. Anytime in the fic where you see Guda having conflicting emotions, or being confused about their own feelings, that was a case of player feelings interfering with their owns.

Outer gods are basically eldritch gods in Fate lore. As such I don't think they really have like. A body the way humans consider it. That's why the fics have various instances of weird fascination towards flesh and how it functions. From the perspective of a god, it'd be like suddenly figuring out how an ancient watch works.

When you're being possessed by someone who is 1) incredibly not fucking normal about your bestie and 2) does not know the difference between intimacy love and violence. Bottom text.

Also a lot of people initially assumed that I picked Castoria in this specific scenario because I, too, am not normal about her. And I mean. That is partially true (tho not to that extent lmao) but also Castoria IS canonically one of the closest people to Guda (& the most likely to realize that something is wrong.) It's not just "I'm having horrible thoughts about some random aquaintances" it's "I love this person with all my heart and I want to give them the world, but I can't even give myself to them because my existence is poison." So double the agony.

This was inspired by one specific scene from Mairimashita!Iruma-Kun, available on mangadex and probably crunchyroll please for the love of god read that manga it fucks SO hard.

When you're an Outer God with only a very vague knowledge of humans and what they look like so instead of focusing on eye color or haircuts you're just fascinated by the fact that this lil one has thirty-two teeth. Bottom text.

This whole section is meant to be "all the times Guda died before the player rebooted the games," so I picked all the hardest boss fights I could think of. There's someone in the comments who asked me months ago if they should pick up a guide for the Cernunnos fight because I brought it up like five times in that paragraph alone. My guy if you are following my blog, yes, you should. You really fucking should.

Also I use second person a lot when writing Guda fic because it's easier (they/them can be confusing when you're writing multiple characters in one setting) but ofc for this fic this also gave me the opportunity to write some moments where the player is directly talking to Guda (or at Guda, rather.)

I wanted to show that while the player was at their most Not Normal about Castoria, they do love everyone in Chaldea, which is why Guda is being more affectionate than usual here.

I'm just really proud of "You imagine lapping at her open wounds, lapping at her wet cunt." Intimacy and violence but also holes and fluids you know how it is.

My bitch Guda who wouldn't wish to bother others & show any weakness if they had a gun to their head.

Christ I can't summarize MHXX's lore concisely, but she is repeatedly compared to a character from a sitcom, hence why her first comparison is to tv shows.

This is meant to be a call-back to that bit earlier where they wonder how hard they'd have to bite to make Castoria bleed.

To lb6 players out there: I was thinking of Gareth writing this line.

I don't remember if I told you, but Castoria has Fairy Eyes, ie is capable of perceiving lies (tho the exact mechanics are unclear.) That's why Guda is being extra stubborn. They can't deny that they're fine because she'll know it's false, so they're trying to dodge the entire conversation.

My bitch Guda who is taking the entire situation soooo well (casually deshumanize themself & considers being dead in the same sentence)

[Castoria voice] why don't you get into bdsm and then maybe you'll feel better.

Anyways, that was blorbo from my game having the worst life of their life! I think I could have done worse, and will endeavor to do so soon. Still damn proud of it tho!

#characteroulette #ask

[ashlingiswriting]

For the recent passage questions: “for me, it’s pineapple condoms or nothing.” All the way up to Richie saying “are you really gonna punish me for a joke”

Idk why but I love that little bit so much and would love to hear your thoughts on it!!

thank you so much! i'm excited to get into this chunk of writing.

warning: i really get into the analysis here, possible to an insufferable extent. can't help it! i just love them so much & i have so much to say about it!

for me, it’s pineapple condoms or nothing. you’re a real high-maintenance fuck. you laugh. michael used to like that about you, just how easy you were, or how easy you made yourself. buddy, you got no idea. 

on the surface, they're bantering. haha! we're not going to have sex, for a silly reason! because the idea of us having sex itself is a joke, and we're both in on the joke, right? right?

it's them reassuring each other that it's fine, even though for both of them, deep down, It's Not Exactly Fine.

also, a few lines ago, julie has literally realized that she loves him, specifically because he takes it easy on her, because he's figured out a way to be with her without making her feel like she needs to run, and without making her feel like she needs to act like someone else. he fucks up a lot, but he's trying, and does it all with his own humor and heart and she sees that and she loves him.

which is in strong contrast with mikey, cause she started off very much herself with mikey, but when they starting having sex she promptly fell into weird, somewhat unhealthy patterns of behavior where she was like 'it's casual! that means you can fuck me whenever, never text unless you feel like it, disappear for an entire week with no explanation, it's all fine. i pretend that watching you fall apart doesn't kill me, you pretend that neither of us have intense emotional involvement in this, and, you know, it's functional!' and then he dies.

it's so obviously fucked in retrospect, but she 100% did it to herself. mikey didn't even ask her to be like that. she just...wanted to be wanted and got scared about demanding anything more.

in many ways, do i know you? is a love triangle story where one corner of the love triangle is already dead. but mikey's ghost is often just around the corner.

so even though again it's all jokes on the surface, julie's memory of how she shrank herself down and didn't demand what she wanted/needed from mikey, the last man she loved, is obviously gonna have an impact on how she views her—very recent!—realization that she loves richie.

it’s been such a long day for both of you, apart and together. of course you’re getting messy, of course it’s time to go. you zip up your coat, run your hand through your hair. 

you can see her here already trying to diminish and dismiss and repress that realization. her feelings can be blamed on the long day she's had. and she doesn't even call them feelings, she calls them "getting messy". she zips up her coat, runs her hand through her hair; prepares to go outside and leave; tries to put herself together/look normal.

let me drive you, he says again. you wave him off. no, i need to walk. clear my head. it’s december in chicago, fuckin pitch black—  i’ll be fine. it’s christmas eve, are you really gonna punish me for a fucking joke?

the story's very much from julie's pov, and julie can be a pretty self-absorbed character. (honestly, when i was writing this, i didn't know if i'd get any readers making it several chapters in, because she's not always a particularly sympathetic, nice, good, or attractive character. so again, i'm THRILLED that literally anyone is reading!)

anyways yeah julie can be very self-absorbed. this is partly due to the hermitlike existence she's been leading—she hasn't had to engage with other people on a particularly complex, intense, or deep emotional level, and even her relationship with mikey was noticeably stunted in several ways—but it's also partly due to just being a personal flaw of hers. she's so self-absorbed, in fact, that she actually misses what's going on with richie because she's busy thinking about richie, paying more attention to the man in her head than the man standing right in front of her.

a parallel thing occurs in chapter three, when she's fantasizing about how she'd heat up leftovers for richie if she took him up to her apartment; how she'd take care of him, in another world where she was willing to be that vulnerable. but like, he's right there! she could take care of him by paying attention to him right then and there, especially because he's venting and literally all he needs in that moment is a listening ear.

do i know you? isn't just a line from chapter one or the title of the story, it's also me drawing little hearts around one of the main themes of the story. how do you truly know a person and how do you learn to love them right?

julie thinks she knows richie because she knows so much about him from mikey's stories, but in chapter three she's surprised to find out that richie deals cocaine. of course mikey wouldn't have told her that, since it was mikey's idea for richie to do that, and in the end this is all because the beef was failing financially. that wasn't something mikey was proud of, so he didn't tell her about it. (shame & its sources & how to deal with it is another huge theme in the fic!) so in that moment julie has a rare moment of clarity and tries to look at richie physically to really fix him in her mind, to observe him for herself. to be in that moment with him. which is a lesson that she...could perhaps have learned more quickly & thoroughly lmao. but isn't that life? it's rare that people learn important lessons once and follow them perfectly ever after.

ANYWAYS. in this passage, julie's just preoccupied with being as emotionally opaque as possible and getting the hell out of there, so she's focused on herself, not at all on richie.

richie, in the meantime, is picking up on her weird vibes & doesn't know what caused this. he knows that she let him drive her before and that was fine—delightful, even—so something has to have changed. he chalks it up to the sleepover + condoms jokes, the fact that he's brought up, even jokingly, the mere idea of them having sex. and he also wants to take care of her, he does actually want to drive her home, so her rejecting that doesn't feel great! just feels like her being stubborn (which she is). so that's why he's like, it’s christmas eve, are you really gonna punish me for a fucking joke? like, we had such an amazing night together, we're closer tonight than we've ever been before, i cooked for you, you came willingly to my apartment, we talked about our families, and now you're going to reject my care and leave in a weird tension filled way that i'm like 80% sure is happening just cause i made some off color jokes???

also, as one might expect from a guy whose father was never around, whose best friend committed suicide, and whose wife left him...richie's kind of sensitive about being left. see: season 2, when he explicitly says he fears that carmy & co are gonna "drop this ass" & leave him in the dust. so! yeah!

what i do love, though, is that they've learned from last time, in a way. in chapter 3, when there was that disconnect between them and he senses it and is offended by it, she responds angrily and defensively, says something hurtful, and basically the only reason they don't get into a much bigger fight is because he showed a bit of mercy (probably spurred by the fact that she didn't show up the night before and he was truly concerned about her absence).

THIS time, even though there's a disconnect between them, when he bursts out in frustration, she understands what's going on and de-escalates the situation, reassures him, tries to be gentle. and even though he's not completely satisfied with her walking home in the dark, he lets it go, recognizing that she has her own reasons but she's not angry with him and she doesn't mean it as a rejection of him.

they're learning!!! i love it when they learn! it took us 34,000+ words, but they're figuring it out!

...

the extent to which all this analysis is post facto? YOU'LL NEVER KNOW, I'LL NEVER TELL 😂😂😂

anyways! thank you so much again for the excuse to scream abuot them, i've been drafting chapters nine and ten, and this thought exercise was deeply satisfying.

feel free to send me another of these my askbox:

#diky #correspondence #ask games

[shaftking]

There's no reason why there can't be an "all-ages" event for kids/teens and an 18+ one where adults are free to act as kinky as they want but here everyone is mask off arguing that being lgbt actually isn't normal as being straight and it's inherently a sex thing, using "lgbt kids and teens are kinky and wanna fuck too!" as an argument for adults being allowed to get their rocks off around them. Kinky cishets don't get a pass to be sex offenders in front of kids and neither do the gays! 👏👏👏

Yes! And I am entirely in favor of that! Have 18+ events! Sounds fun actually! I don’t see a reason why there can’t be convention type set up of some kind or event nights at local venues for pride, where they check your age on an ID at the door like a bar or club does.

We know and acknowledge that LGBT kids exist and so do their families and they should be able to enjoy pride without all of this shit. There’s no actual reason why there must be kinksters in public pride events where families and children are expected to also be. Especially when pride parades and events are often now advertised as all ages/ family friendly.

People supporting kink at pride know how bad the optics this is for LGBT people and kinky people alike. It’s not an excuse that there’s shitty conservatives who think that all LGBT and kinky people are trying to expose themselves to kids and strangers to go around and expose yourself to kids and strangers. You ultimately just reinforce this belief and drive down acceptance rates, and we’ve seen this happening, with photos of kinksters in full gear at pride where kids can see or even some engaging directly with kids being used as reasoning as to why being LGBT is evil and predatory.

And I think it should be made abundantly clear that while a teen might be figuring out that they have kinks and kids are curious by nature, including about the functions and features of bodies, that is not and has never been a justifiable excuse for knowingly and willingly doing sexual things around an underage person.

#ask

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 3: Aladdin and Alibaba & Night 4: Dungeon Diving

He's so happy to have a frien.

This face cracks me up for some reason.

Also, shoutout to my boy Alibaba being like "this guy's gonna be useful to me, I'm going to make him believe I'm his friend" as if he wasn't about to get permanently attached in the next five seconds. You tried, gold star. But you're just not that kind of a person.

Alibaba stop being pretty challenge. Gdi these Anise genes.

Welcome back to me complaining abt the anime, but iirc in the anime Alibaba actually refers to Aladdin as his slave, which, weird choice. He might not be his true self here, but he has some standards.

"I'm not mad," he said, madly.

Friemds;;;

ELIZABETH!!! I can't explain how that happened, but at some point I really began looking forward to seeing her and other best courtesans, ngl.

They're so silly.

----Night 4----

I figured I might add two nights in case a chapter is shorter or something.

Well, well, well.

Look who's here.

And Alibaba is his usual Sinbad fanboy self. You shouldn't, tho, the guy is kinda a dick and he's going to break your heart a little. Still a better father figure than your actual dad, in lieu of acknowledging your existence more than, like, three times in your life. But the bar was underneath the floor. Fr, tho, I need more Sinbad faildad adventures.

True.

More appreciation of Alibaba, understandably, hesitating to do something insanely dangerous. He's, like, the most normal guy there. Next to Sphintus. Him and Sphintus should be friends, they'dd both just pat each others backs and nod in understanding - all their friends are crazy weirdos, but what can they do. Fr tho, respect for the most functional character in the show. Ironically.

Lol.

That's so damn wholesome.

Uh oh. Also, hello there.

The expressions are something else.

See, kids, this is why you're not supposed to play around with fucked up trident-esque weapons.

Oh, hi, Morgiana.

: (

That's still pretty cute.

#magi #saya's magi reread #aladdin #alibaba saluja #morgiana

[thepapergirlandthespiegelman]

ok not to sound like a little baby who can't deal with being on the Internet or whatever but like. Why is Tumblr allowed to show me just the wildest fucking shit without my consent? Specifically, the "Based on your likes" recommendations have been just completely nonsensical, frequently pretty graphic fetish/kink stuff that I'm not into, and sometimes kinda triggering. Like some days it's annoying but relatively harmless stuff like obscure Harry Potter fanfic-of-a-fanfic, but other days it's really specific fetish content that I find kind of disturbing. I'm not here to kinkshame anyone, I don't have an issue with the existence of these kinks and I'm absolutely NOT blaming the creators of this content—it is very clearly being written for people who have that particular interest/are involved in that kink community and I'm sure they like it just fine, but again that reinforces my question, why is Tumblr showing it to me? Honestly, if I was creating hyper-specific kink content for a particular community, I would be mortified to learn that it was being randomly recommended to people outside the community who might find it offensive or triggering.

I'm not going to name any of the specific fetishes/kinks because again I don't want to cast any negativity toward them. But I genuinely am baffled as to why Tumblr thinks I would like this content. I literally do not follow any sexual, fetish, or kink blogs whatsoever and never create or reblog that kind of content. The most that I've done is, like, mention BDSM as a general concept (nothing specific/graphic) a couple times; absolutely nothing that would lead a normal person to think "Oh yeah, this person is probably extremely into ________ super specific fetish."

Idk, I'm not the most sensitive person and I definitely can deal with seeing stuff that makes me uncomfortable, but I also...don't want to have to do that for no reason??? And it just kinda sucks because Tumblr used to be the one place on the Internet where I felt completely safe because I only ever saw content from blogs I follow (if I go in the search function/tags, I know I might be in for some surprises, and I was fine with that taking on that risk when doing those things), and now that's no longer true.

And I hope that Tumblr's response to this is not to just blanket ban any kind of fetish/kink content, because I don't think that that's particularly fair or a good solution. Honestly my preferred solution would be to just get rid of recommendations altogether, or at least allow users to turn them off. But at a bare minimum, fix your damn algorithm so that it's not showing people stuff that's completely off-base in its recommendations.

Of course, the most likely thing is that they'll do nothing at all (or somehow figure out how to make it function even worse).

#text #Tumblr #content #content recommendation #Based on your likes #trigger