#women are mostly the victims of this

[grotesquelly]

I think my biggest DC pet peeve is when fanartists make the characters either literal sticks or sticks with slightly buff arms. Like have you walked into a gym ever??? Most heroes are either like trained warriors or trained in someway they need to be consistently working out and packing in like 3000 calories a day there’s like no physically possible way they could be skinny 😭😭 unless it’s a character that relies mostly on magic like raven or lilith that makes no sense

#especially Atlanteans like they literally live in the ocean #dc #dc comics #batman #wonder women #women are mostly the victims of this #cassie sandsmark #donna troy #starfire #koriand'r #kara zor el #power girl #super girl #garth of shayeris #dolphin dc #aquaman

[gay-otlc]

Actually I think we should talk about how incredibly fucked up it is for sapphic women to say shit like "I'm no better than a straight man 😔" when attracted to a woman in a way that isn't 100% pure and wholesome, or act like men's attraction to women is inherently dirty, predatory, or objectifying.

#like i mostly get impacted from this as a straight trans man #and the way people- even my friends- have acted like my attraction to women is now morally worse since i came out as trans #but this also affects like. bi/mspec men? it's shitty to shame them for their attraction to women! #and even cishet men. acting like objectification or predatory behavior is just inherent to male attraction to women #let's shitty men off the hook because 'they can't help it' or whatever #or victim blames anyone abused by a cishet man because 'what did you expect from being in a relationship with him' #yeah so like. sapphics stop saying this challenge #transhet #anti-transmasculinity #again i'm tagging because that's my personal experience with that sentiment but it has a ton of other issues too #antimasculism

[anawkwardlady]

People be picking up the smallest details of a person being angry in a way thats not perfect to call them abusive and traumatizing. Like yeah, yelling at people, throwing stuff on the ground, belittling them is awful. But saying someone is "an abuser" because they broke a glass on the floor once at out frustration, yell time to time, or got upset in a way that doesn't fit the bounds of non violent communication rules seems extremely hard and controlling of other's people behavior. Intent matters, reparations too. That way of over controlling correct expression of anger weirdly only seems to only oppress people who are already punished to expressing those emotions. It's not okay, its complicated.

#its always the same people who make the extra effort to regulate and learn all the tools often leading to extreme feelings of guilt #and yes its often oppressed groups being policed in their expression of anger without anyone trying to understand the cause #it just feels extremely privileged to just expect people to never say anything upsetting to you and behave perfectly #also a lot of criticism was given to the whole Non Violent Communication thing. one of it was that the whole labor was mostly put on women #especially mothers. and that it was blaming victims for possibly reenact their abuse unconsciously #also a lot of their vision was 'if you say x you're going to break that person forever' #nana is posting #cupbreak #rant

[cruelsister-moved2]

been cosigned by the bi women in my life to say this but i think the whole ‘bi women are 100000x more likely to be victims of partner abuse’ thing gets...almost victim blamey if u think abt it too hard. do we believe that there are men who are totally fine to date as a straight woman but if you’re bi they become Abusers or are we just avoiding thinking too hard about the reality of dating a guy who would hypothetically be beating u if u were bi. are we saying the abuse happens because they’re bi? anyway the elephant in the room is that we’re talking about self-reported statistics here and bi women are more likely to be feminists and informed about consent and coercion and so on in order to RECOGNISE abuse. meanwhile a majority of straight women don’t even believe in marital rape and we know a lot about the lengths people can go to avoid labelling what they experienced/are experiencing as abuse. + DUH sexuality is self reported too so of course going through abuse at the hands of men can be a factor in a woman unpacking compulsory heterosexuality and realising she isn’t straight.

i think it’s important because in one narrative, victim-blaming myths about IPV are subtly reinforced in the name of advocating for bi women while the other recognises that abuse can happen to anyone but bi women are informed and autonomous and not just helpless victims with no choice but to play dating life russian roulette 

#abuse #rape #assault #for tw #they literally havent added any of the new updates on desktop btw #no polls no make unrebloggable no community labels #also when that survey came out n everyone was like OVER THE MOON GLEEFUL that lesbians can also be abusive or smth #even though it was. mostly that theyd been abused by men #and also again the same self reporting fallacies #but literally now i think abt it its like. people were motivated to try and prove lesbians r equally as likely as straight men to be abusie #as like a get out of jail free card from the victim blaming of this whole narrative #was reading 80s feminist historiography and its like all about how #u have to report on the ways women were made to suffer without ending up implying that women were just helpless victims

[hoths]

why are some people still pretending its just men exploiting womens insecurities through the beauty industry when its literally mostly other women. oh these poor insecure women they cope with their internalized misogyny by opening “skincare” clinics, pumping insecure girls full of filler, and conning their customers into hating themselves 💔

#beauty standards are a capitalism problem? always have been. #its also disingenuous to pretend a) it hasnt been affecting men because hello? hair transplants? b) its mostly men when anyone #can be complicit so long as theyre greedy and to me the greedy women are no longer victims #c) ‘well its men who are making women think they're only their looks/men who created these insecurities in the first place’ #are you actually that out of touch? women contribute if not generate a massive amount of self-hatred capital #d) women are one of the most populous oppressed groups of course theres also proportionally more of them oppressing each other #h.txt

[mixelation]

Not sure if that post is about hp but it does feel like it lol. I understand people wanting to offer alternatives and I myself have a complicated relationship with it, but I wouldn't expect people to necessarily fall in love with alternatives I give them the same way they fell in love with hp.

post in question

HP definitely get this a lot. GoT got this a lot too while it was airing. I've seen it to a lesser extent with same smaller fandoms-- Twilight, for example. All of these series have their problems, in terms of quality, writers/showrunners doing weird shit, and things that make you go hmm within the narrative. But they didn't get massively popular by accident, and whatever drew you in probably isn't something as shallow as "I like magic schools" or "I like vampire romances." So when people are like, "oh, but you can just read THIS instead," as opposed to just "here's some vampire romance novels you could also try," then it's sort of like.... no, not every vampire book is interchangeable? Why are you acting like it is, and like whatever people are getting out of X should automatically also exist in Y?

Also, while we're here, "you're a bad person if you engage with this fandom, and you should only engage with morally-approved media" is actually one of the worst takes this website has churned out. Let's take GoT as an example that's less likely to get me hatemail (although one of my favorite games is looking up the URLs of people who post about how even looking at a HP fic means you are directly donating to bigoted causes and then seeing how long I have to scroll before OP talks about a Disney-owned fandom). GoT has some excellent, complicated female characters. It also has a lot of hypersexualized nudity and gratuitous sexual assault. On lists of "alternative" shows, I would frequently see Netflix's The Witcher. If you haven't seen The Witcher, here's what happens in episode one: the MC meets a complicated female character who wants to kill her rapist. The MC refuses to "pick a side" between her and her rapist. He sleeps with her. Then the woman is killed by the MC. If you were trying to point someone at a high fantasy TV show with dark themes that "treats its women right", why the fuck did you pick The Witcher? Is it because you don't know how to analyze media and just look for a laundry list of Bad Things, like actual on-screen sexual assault? Do you not understand why people were mad about all the sexual assault on a thematic level? Like, okay! You found some obvious bad stuff in GoT, good job! Every other piece of media will have its own Bad Stuff, and it's up to individuals to decide what crosses their own personal lines (which YOU DO NOT GET TO DECIDE) when picking what content they consume.

#full disclaimer that i did enjoy netflix witcher #i just think that if your issue with GOT was who the women were treated.... well #yen's entire character is that she gave up her womb to be conventionally attractive and now desperately wants to have a baby #like i know this is because the show was working from deeply sexist source material but in attempting to make this part of her character #more ~feminist~ it's mostly just incomprehensible #but i like a woman who dresses in dope black dresses and does insane magic shit. so sue me #inb4 someone is like 'the situation with renfri was more complicated than that--' #the story was still explicitly set up so that the MC murders a rape victim trying to get revenge on her rapist and the rapist goes free #you could have picked ANY OTHER CONFLICT and probably gotten a more interesting story out of it to boot

[opens-up-4-nobody]

How controversial is it to not like shikamaru?

#bc i do not like shikamaru lol #i domt hate him or anything. i just find him mostly annoying when i think thats probably not the intention #also in boruto he feels weirdly conservative? in like upholding the shinobi way? #but idk i dont feel as guilty abt disliking him. i feel like its more controversial to dislike lee and gai. #and yet that doesn't stop me lol. but then again i dislike these characters more bc of how theyre written #so if they were written by someone who hated women less i feel like they wouldn't be so bad. i just dont like them enough to edit them in #my headcanons the way i do with other characters. bc they all are victims of bad writing #naruto ramblings #but then i also feel like ur not supposed to like madara as much as i do. like most of thr time im on madaras side lmao #so maybe my opinion doesnt mean much. i just like my uchihas and senju and uzumaki and also iruka and kakashi lol #unrelated #oh shit. except i dont like obito lmao #also in this house we respect tenten and rin forever

[ralsriel]

Started up P5R again and I forgot just how much I hate Anns phantom thief outfit. Hell, she literally hates it herself which is more than reasonable considering, you know, *points at the first palace*

Ann deserves so much better. She's an undertale character now, I actually do make the rules

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #sometimes this game has some really nice moments #and then they throw more sexualization of Ann in there. you know the 16 year old SA victim. for 'fanservice' reasons. #urgh #fighting the p5r writers actually #also everyone is queer now screw the devs #am I still bitter over the fact that you can't romance any of the guys but you can date 25+ year old women despite the protag being 16? #why yes I am #orz I really want to see the new royal content but man. sometimes I forget about the bad things and get slapped in the face by them #brought to you by 'went to mementos & Ann made a comment about feeling uncomfortable in her outfit #& the writers took the chance to be nasty about it because of course they do.' #oh yeah and also brought to you by 'holy shit why are all the adult women in this game so damn creepy about the protag. #I just want to level up the fortune teller & get better meds. Please never ask me if I'm into older women ever again the protag is 16 jfc' #rant #I guess #I'm at Shidos palace now and maybe that also soured my mood a bit. maybe an unpopular opinion but it's one of my least favorite palaces #mostly because of the swimsuit scene and the way they treat Ryuji in there but also gameplay wise #I'm looking forward to the mementos segment though! They improved mementos in general by a lot in royal it's nice #also the new endings and true end / third semester #I want to know more about Kasumi and Maruki seems like an intriguing character too #also I know there's more Akechi content in there which is great because the original suffered a lot by bringing in Akechi #as this guy you should care about / find intriguing without actually letting you interact with him at all outside of the main story #royal gave him A Lot of new scenes and actually encourages you to seek him out and hang out with him #so yeah. I know people really like the third semester and it's all new to me #and I sure do like new content! Although I have to admit that Royal actually did do a good job of adding enough new content #that a second playthrough feels well. actually new & fun! Also while it didn't fix everything at the very least I appreciate #some of the changes. Except for the Okumura palace lol somehow they made that one like 10 times worse lmaooo

[theriverdalereviewer]

incoming!!! another hot take!!! repackaging every harmful thing in our society as being feminist just because women do it is stupid and very dangerous

#ANYWAYS I don’t even know how this rant started being about this what I was talking about was FUCKING TRUE CRIME #the burning hatred I have for true crime if you sick mfs don’t put on GAME OF THRONES OR SOMETHING #just saw a terrible take on twitter that its wrong to criticize true crime because women mostly consume it #and we’re all just hating on it because we love to hate what women like and we think women can’t think for themselves #God help me there is no hope for women #like you bitches would defend snorting coke if it was predominantly consumed by women #its just so dumb like yes using the real abuse and murder of mostly women for your entertainment is weird and should be stopped #and if you don’t find it disturbing its because youre desensitized and in that case check into therapy #and yeah I don’t find it fascinating at all #these people are able to get away with these things because they are privileged and the police are incompetent there is no magic #this isn’t criminal minds with some intriguing motive and method these are stories about freaks who are remembered better than their victims #like for those of you who aren’t understanding its weird imagine listening to the recent tragedies in the news #and finding JOY and FUN in them???? #alright ive said what ive said true crime watchers please find a hobby outside of death and destruction

[illputdownmyrootswhenimdead]

transphobic gays when the conservatives they allied with to harm trans people move from transphobia to homophobia:

#transphobia // #homophobia // #misogyny // #incest // #rape // #warnings are mostly for the tags #alternative caption: transphobic cis women when the conservatives they allied with to harm trans people move from transphobia to misogyny: #‘surely these people with bioessentialist ideals about sex and gender and sexuality and what men and women are will treat me well #as a gay person/woman/both’ #or #‘​i never thought they would eat MY face’ sobs woman who voted for the leopards eating human faces party #anyway conversatives will not stop at just getting rid of trans people. they don’t want gay people either. they want women to basically be #property and objects for men again. #they aren’t going to see you as an exception. they are not your allies. #this is why i can’t stand terfs who agree with fuckers like matt walsh #he’s a huge fucking misogynist who is pro life and talks about how fertile teenage girls are and how child rape victims should have to give #birth to their rapists child because it’s ‘evidence’ of their assault #and he’s incredibly fucking homophobic too. he thinks gay people are groomers. #but he’s transphobic too so terfs just eat it all up and agree with him based on that. #‘he knows what a woman is uwu so he’s a feminist ally’ he doesn’t think that children should be taught about consent and that victims of #incest and rape should carry their rapists baby to term because it’s evidence and that teenage girls are more fertile and all kinds of #other disgusting shit #he is not your ally. if you align yourself with him you are not a feminist #you’re an idiot at best and just as much of a fascist predator as him at worst #i hope you drive your car off a bridge <3 #(drafted this back in january and its even more relevant now lmao)

[dendrochronologies]

.

god willing this will not be the start of me sincerely sharing Opinions on tumblr dot com but the thing about Kindness and Empathy being paraded as easy breezy & effortless by some is that those posts are often written by very young people who have age-limited experience with the diversity of thought & expression that exists. knowing "there are people out there who think radically differently from me" =/= collaborating with those people in total sincerity and with unwavering compassion.

empathy is a skill i always always have to practice not only because i've had to sit in front of people who genuinely, sincerely hate women as a class of people because of specific lived experiences, and i still had to (and had to want to!) give them therapy, and had to work to the best of my knowledge and creativity to help them break isolation and make friends and not kill themselves, because i don't get to decide, actually, whether or not they deserve to live in misery and die alone - and anyway, building relationships can dismantle prejudices for some people -

but also because the more conversations i have (the number only ever increasing, as you get older), the more likely i am to hear a completely batshit take like, "all victims of intimate partner violence have borderline personality disorders, otherwise they wouldn't stay with their abusers," which i heard this evening. and i would humbly posit that any decent person would need to have a really, really deep well of patience to not promptly smack the person saying that with some sort of rolled newspaper, or perhaps a door.

it is easy to say things or set intentions or wtv when you have little to no chance of encountering situations where those intentions will be challenged. don't expect sainthood from yourself or others. all of it's hard. just try your best!

#this is me formulating the affirmation that ive clearly dug that well of patience quite deeply !because i did explore this concept further #(because you know. approach everyone with unconditional positive regard) #(baseline being: what do You think these two things (bpd/ipv) are. what the connotations/implications carried when You say them) #and i have concluded that it is a stupid opinion based on stupid reasoning. but i have also been really fucking nice about it!!!!!!! #it's just like. e.g. m oliver is the patron saint of kind & soft living on this website but she did get fed up with humanity on occasion. #and as a student of her poetry & philosophy i can say that at least one of those times she did not express it well. bc she was imperfect #idk idk idk idk. just like. ok. be a woman while a man twice your size tells you all women are evil bitches & try to build rapport with him #it is a little difficult. it is a fucking life experience. you know???? #idk. the Me who helped deliver babies was very on board with the world being inherently spectacular!!!!!!!!! #the Me who counselled sv victims for a year and then mostly poor mostly suicidal ppl for six months was Not!!!!! #oh my god readmores on this website PLEASE WORK

[bigwraith]

i cant remember any tags you have blocked

#rambles #this will be full of actual rambling #tw for the stuff happening right now with Atrioc and co #Mostly about Ludwigs perspective #i wasnt fully expecting a mogul mail #was 5050 on him doing one or just making a twitter statement on it #but i also had no idea how he would go about handling a mogul mail #and honestly i dont think there is a better way he could have handled it than how he did #maybe adding something about As wife but at the same time #but she really isnt THE victim here #and people sending L hate? because he was being a good partner to QT? making sure she was okay before making any videos #its hard to even imagine what QT is going through right now #especially after everything she has done for A #just bs #and L #Not giving his Take as a male streamer #but more explaining so hopefully more of the men who do watch can understand more than before #and the difference between men being leaked and women being leaked #then the dehumanization of streamers #or any entertainers #just got a lot of feelings over this after hearing the takes from the esports type guys i hang around #just glad the one i care about has what i feel are the Correct takes

[rosykims]

the way the internet is going to be virtually unusuable for women for the next 2 months at best :)

#and tbqh by women i mean feminists with a bare minimum nuanced take on dv and what this means for victims going forward #doñt fucking rb i dont want freaks in my notes #sigh. i use twitter/r*ddit every day just to keep up w the outside world and ya ummmm holy shit #im blacklisting everything to do w the tri////////////al at this point bc its doompilling me sooo bad lol #im very grateful that tumblr is mostly sane on this topoc but my god..jesus. like no offence but is it ever going to get better. #like any of it. anything. is Anything ever going to be ok ever again lol bc it rly hasnt felt like it lately #/ negative

[b-rainlet]

The way I immediately like Girls who say they're into true crime but would definitely stop talking to a guy who says he's into true crime

#It's about how most of the times the women see themselves in the victims (since 90% of the victims are women) #And the guys mostly latch onto the perpetrators and how it loops back into men using violence to feel masculine and have control over women #Like no the way I consume true crime and the way a cis straight guy consumes true crime are VASTLY different from each other