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atths--twice · 1 year

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It takes some time to come back to yourself after you’ve been hurt. Dana is beginning her journey down that path and Fox is there to make sure it’s a safe one.

I know it’s been sooooo long since there was an update to this story. I’ve had other things asking to be written, quite persistently in some cases. But, my focus is back here and here is the next chapter in the story. The next chapter should be up soon as well.

Thank you to everyone who has shown an interest in this little AU. ❤️

Chapter Three

Fox was up very early the next morning, despite having slept very little, his thoughts on Dana and how she was really doing, knowing how men like Tom usually took rejection. He decided to go for a run, something he had not done in a while, thinking it would help to clear his head and create focus for the day.

The sun was just peeking through the sky when he stepped outside, stretching and warming up his muscles before he set off at a slow pace, gradually running faster.

He could hear nothing but the sound of his shoes as they created a steady beat along the pavement. Not many other people were out yet, and for that he was thankful. He liked being out before the city was awake, enjoying the quiet and lack of bodies filling the spaces.

He ran for what felt like miles. When he stopped and paced back and forth, breathing hard, his thoughts again turned to Dana and he shook his head.

She would have told him if Tom was threatening or scaring her, right? She would have said… something to him.

Right?

“Before,” he said, taking a deep breath. “She would have said something before.” Shaking his head again, he turned and began to run back home.

_________________

“I got you a coffee,” he said when he heard the door unlock and open, his back to it as he took some prop books down from the top shelf. “You’ll need to warm it up though I’m afraid. I’ve been here for a while.”

“We must have been thinking along the same lines then because I actually got you a coffee,” she said and he turned to look at her. She was holding a small brown bag over her wrist and a cup of coffee in each hand.

“Great minds, huh?” he teased, setting the books on his desk and walking towards her. “Thank you.”

“And thank you,” she said softly, handing him his coffee as she bit her lower lip. “I also got you a ham and cheese croissant. It might even still be warm.”

“Thank you again.”

“Did you already eat?” she asked, spying the paper plate by his computer.

“I did. But like I said, I’ve been here for a while so… a second breakfast is much appreciated.”

“Okay, Pippin,” she said, a smile beginning at her reference to Lord of the Rings, but then it stopped. “I’ll… set this down and then start readying the studio.”

“There’s no rush. We’ve got time. Eat your breakfast. Drink your coffee,” he said, watching her and trying to gauge how she was feeling.

“You already got the studio ready, didn’t you?” she asked, setting down her coffee and the bag of food on her desk.

“Yeeeah. And the items I’ll need for the next two sessions ready as well,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee and humming at the perfect taste.

“Two? Jesus, you have been here a long time.”

“One of the drawbacks of having occasional insomnia,” he said, smiling before taking another sip.

“I don’t really like the word insomnia. It sounds so menacing or something. I think describing sleepless nights as being a “tortured artist” sounds much better. As though sleep simply can’t happen when there’s beauty to be found. I just think there’s something romantic in those words.”

“I suppose unless you’re not an artist. Or if you’re Van Gogh and you end up actually torturing yourself.”

“Well, yeah. The line has to be drawn somewhere and I draw mine at self mutilation,” she quipped, taking off her hat and coat and rolling her eyes at him.

“It’s always good to know where the line is,” he said with a smile, watching her hang up her coat and run her fingers through her long hair.

She seemed more like herself today, sparring with him like she used to do. She looked like herself too, though she still wore the large black cardigan over her pleated, long sleeved, dark gray tunic dress, black leggings, and black fleece lined boots.

Twisting her hair expertly, she quickly had it up in a messy but somehow adorable bun, secured in place with a rubber band.

As she turned around, she caught him staring and they both froze. He was at a loss for words, not wanting to explain his thoughts to her, but she spoke first and he felt relieved.

“I… I can’t wear my hat with my hair in a bun,” she explained with a shrug. “I mean I can, it just looks and also feels funny. So…”

“Understandable,” he said, clearing his throat. “Sorry for… I didn’t mean to be staring… I was thinking about-”

“Your second breakfast?” she suggested as she pointed to the bag and he laughed, glad for the out she had given him.

“Yeah,” he said, stepping to the bag to take out his food. “Still warm.” He nodded and she nodded back.

As he stepped back from her desk and she stepped toward it, the scent of her perfume hit his nose and he quickly took in another breath.

Whimsy.

That was the name Dana had told a client weeks ago when she had asked after it, exclaiming over how delicious it smelled.

“Oh, yes,” the woman had said with a nod when Dana told her the name. “I always feel that a fragrance tends to suit the wearer and yours does to a T my dear.” Dana had laughed, shaking her head as her cheeks flushed.

But, as she had been walking around the studio barefoot- her new shoes hurting her feet- and wearing a flowy purple dress with her hair in loose braids, Fox had found he could not have agreed more.

In fact, he had taken a few quick pictures of her and shown her later that day, both of them laughing as she then pirouetted around the office.

She had stopped wearing it though, after Tom bought her a very expensive bottle of designer perfume. It smelled good, but it was not the scent Fox associated with her.

Hers was rich, reminding him of her dancing as she had laughed, but also of forests and nights under the stars. It made him think of fairies flitting through the trees, kissing the flowers to sleep, and waking the night animals from their day's slumber.

He loved her perfume and smelling it again made him smile as he took a bite of his second breakfast, hoping the one Tom bought had been chucked in the trash.

The first client arrived as he was halfway through his second breakfast. It was her first time in the studio and she was nervous. Arriving early, she had hoped to assuage her worries.

Dana took the garment bag of outfit changes from her and escorted her into the studio’s dressing room, putting her at ease as Fox double checked that everything was ready.

He smiled when he heard them laughing and he stopped for a second to listen more intently. Dana’s laugh was a bit quieter, but it was there and hearing it was enough for him.

The day passed by in a busy blur after that, lunch ordered and eaten when a moment allowed. By the end of the day, he was tired and feeling the effects from his lack of sleep the night before and the run that morning.

“Goodnight,” Dana said softly as she buttoned her coat, taking her hair down and putting on her hat.

“Goodnight,” Fox replied, smiling at her as she nodded, her own smile somewhat forced.

He sighed as he watched her walk out the door and to her car, leaving him with too many thoughts and worries running through his mind.

_____________

The next two days were very busy, leaving them with not much time to talk.

But he kept an eye on her.

He saw how she would seem to come back to herself, laughing and teasing him or the clients the way she used to, but then she would stop. Her smile would disappear and she would pull her large cardigan around her body, as though she wanted to disappear and hide.

He hated seeing her that way, knowing it had to be a memory of something Tom had said to her, leaving her feeling inadequate and insecure.

She was quiet at the end of the day, checking emails and adding clients to the schedule, as he edited some pictures, cutting his eyes over to her often.

Her phone beeped and she sighed as she looked at it, typing out a quick reply and setting it back onto the desk. Her chair squeaked as she stood up and came over to stand beside him.

“I need to ask you a question.”

“Go for it,” he said, smiling and giving her his full attention.

“Well…” She cleared her throat and pulled her cardigan around herself. “There is that wedding this weekend.”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re driving up tomorrow afternoon.”

“Yeah,” he said again.

“I mean, we’re going to the wedding. I’m not asking to not go. I’m…” She sighed and he smiled.

“What is it?” he asked softly.

“Is it okay if my sister comes with me?”

“Oh,” he said, raising his eyebrows in surprise, having not expected that to be the question.

“I know it’s a work weekend, but I…” she said hurriedly. “She won’t be there at the wedding, or the hotel. Well, except tomorrow night. She has friends who live by the venue. She and I were talking and I thought, if you didn’t mind, she and I would drive up together. She’d visit with them overnight Saturday and then pick me up on Sunday.”

“Okay. But, why do you feel you need to ask me if she can come with you?”

“Well… because you’re paying for my room,” she said quietly, licking her lips.

“Dana,” he said, standing up as he shook his head. “It’s… it’s your room.”

“But you’re paying for it,” she said again. “It’s for work. I don’t want you to think I’m not taking my job seriously. Because I-”

“I would never think that of you,” he cut across her, frowning slightly as he shook his head again.

“I just…” She drew in a deep breath and looked down before raising her eyes to his, biting her bottom lip as she exhaled through her nose.

“Your sister is more than welcome to join you. In fact, how about if you both join me for dinner tomorrow evening once we’re all there? Unless you would rather it be just the two of you?”

“Oh. I’d like that. I’d liked for her to meet you,” she said with a smile. “I’ve told her a lot about you. If you’re sure you don’t mind, that is.”

“Not at all. I’ll make a reservation at the hotel restaurant for say… seven thirty?”

“Yeah. That would be good.”

“Great,” he said, smiling at her. “And you know, why don’t you take tomorrow off? We don’t have any clients and I’ll just be here getting things ready, along with doing some editing. No reason for both of us to be here.”

“Are you sure? I can come and help you pack things up.”

“No, that’s okay. We’ll be quite busy this weekend. Best get some rest while you can.” He smiled again and she nodded slowly, still looking uncertain. “You could even leave now if you’d like to, get home a little early.”

“I… okay. I’ll let my sister know. About the dinner, I mean. Thank you, Fox.”

“You’re welcome, Dana.”

She stepped back to her desk, glancing over at him over her shoulder. Gathering her things, she took a moment on her phone, smiling when she read the message she then received.

“My sister says to thank you and she looks forward to meeting you.”

“Tell her the feeling is more than mutual,” he said with a smile and a nod.

“I will. Thank you again,” she said, biting her lip and then exhaling. “Thank you for everything.”

“Yeah,” he replied softly, nodding again.

“See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” he agreed as she gave him a small smile. Putting her phone in her coat pocket, she held his gaze for a second and then left without looking back.

“Tomorrow,” he whispered, letting out a deep breath.

#the xfiles #xf fanfic #alternate universe #photography #toxic relationship #leaving the bad behind #working through a bad relationship #friendship #care and understanding

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canisalbus · 5 months

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To me, Machete kind of has the energy of a secondary villain/coldhearted side character in someone else's story that a lot of fans latch onto, moreso than the protagonist. Question is, would he be the villain in anyone's story?

Why, thank you! I'm actually glad to hear he gives off that vibe. I don't think he set out to become a villain but a lot of people certainly view him as one.

#in the 16th century canon he starts out as an introverted but sincerely well meaning guy that never quite manages to find his social niche #he was a sensitive kid and when subjected to enough pressure #his insecurity fearfulness and powerlessness mutate into distrust resentment aggression suffocating repression and self-restraint #I don't think he's a bad person in fact he consistently tries very hard to do the right thing #do his job properly avoid letting people down and get through life with a sense of dignity #but he is supposed to come across kind of cold impersonable and difficult to be around if you don't know him personally (and very few do)#people can sense there's something wrong with him and are put off by it #Vatican is a nest of vipers and as the stakes rise he retreats deeper into his coldblooded untouchable work persona #he has no choice but to start lying scheming blackmailing and eliminating his enemies #in order to maintain his position keep Vasco safe their relationship under wraps and his own head above water #essentially playing by the same rules everyone else in the holy see has been playing with for centuries #eventually he loses his spot as the secretary of state and is manipulated/forced to take on a role in the roman inquisition #and if people were sort of iffy about him before being the authority overseeing trials torture excommunications and executions doesn't help #and since he has so few allies and such an infamous reputation he's an easy target for scapegoating whenever necessary #towards the end it dawns on him that he's become the kind of twisted cruel corrupt person he used to fear and despise #and the guilt moral injury and abject self-loathing had largely sapped him of his will to live by the time the final assassin gets him #answered #anonymous #Machete #Vaschete lore #he thought his dream of priesthood would make him a better person more worthy of admiration safety and love but he climbed too high #and got roped up in the dangerous games that take place under god's nose and slowly got strangled to death

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clownsuu · 10 months

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Ay. An offer; one doodle of lovelie for the price of answering my question 🦅

Eh? Eh?— Anyways my question is; what’s an art tip you can give that really helped you? Anything special when drawing or do you just have a hand of god?

(Btw your one of my favorite artists and I love seeing your work homie, number 1 inspo fr. Keep on cookin 🦅💞)

WAHHH THEY LOOK SO SCRUNGLYYYY (despite his many, m a n y crimes)

#Also art tips?#One of them is don't follow some of my footsteps they are unhealthy LMAOOOO #Like me pushing through despite my artblock? Very unhealthy it can lead to a unhealthy relationship with art #Ya deserve breaks when your mind and body tells you you need it! Art should be a comforting experience!#No matter how long it takes smhh #I remember my partner had a really bad art block for like a year but they are still going strong with their art! Never feel discouraged!#Also another one is sometimes a messier lighter sketch is better for more dynamic pieces #If ya work too hard on your base it can lead to your piece feeling flat and too stiff #Go crazy go stupid! You might be surprised with what you can accomplish!#Don't be afraid to go outta your comfort zone with art stuff! You might find details you quite enjoy! HUZZAH!#Also also I fuggin love the liddol beetle doodles on the side of her LMAO SO TEENSY TINY #I'M SO HAPPY YA GAMERS ENJOY MY DUM LIDDOL ARTS IM JUST A LIL GUY BDJDJDJDJD;;;;

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panncakes · 5 months

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stuck thinking about when day gets crowded and overwhelmed on his birthday he calls out to gee of all people there to remove him from the situation; and how when day tells her he wants to be alone she makes sure he knows she wants to understand him and he can talk to her (not to help him or to fix things for him; simply to understand him) and when day reaffirms a boundary she accepts this and doesn't press further. he's her friend and she cares for him but he's still an adult and she has no problem treating him as such and i think that at the moment she is the only one from day's past who is actively able to do so

#last twilight #gee best girl #i know disability is difficult on loved ones as well and it is very easy for those closest to you to fall into pitying and babying you #but gee has been working very hard to not let that happen to her friendship with day #she is immediately ready to keep teasing and playing with day whilst also quick to adjust to the new aspects of their relationship #she wants to learn how to guide day through the badminton court to take over from 'his mhok' and is more than willing to take day #to the bathroom in the bar but when day assures her he can handle it she doesn't infantalize him #she immediately invites day to the bar without any hesitation and then continues to invite him to her game because that's #an important aspect of their friendship #and when he shows up she isn't afraid to joke around and tease him #she's extremely good at not treating him like a broken piece of porcelain whilst also quickly taking cues in how to adjust where it is #necessary #im glad day gets someone from his past who doesnt need as much time as his family to readjust to his new normal #and it is also an incredibly good parallel to how bad augustus' assessment of the situation is #last twilight the series

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recitedemise · 6 months

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𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗵. That said, when speaking of his paramour with the mention of Mystra, it is not a slight. After all, Mystra, the goddess, wasn't just his lover; she, as she'll remain, controls the Weave.

As a scholar of magic for all his life, Gale is thoroughly enamored with it. He's always had the Weave, casting spells and enchantments for as far as his long memory goes, and there's no power on earth that can pale that devotion. When Gale says Mystra's name, in love, it is never with yearning. When he tells his lover that he forgets his goddess when he stands beside them, he means quite literally that he foregoes his faith. He doesn't mention her like a quality benchmark with which they've somehow surpassed, but to punctuate how wholly he has fallen for them. With a new, honest love, he is turned entirely from Mystra. In fact, so utterly bewitched, he's like a born again man. He isn't besotted by his goddess, held stalwart in her sway and seemingly, abundantly, and frustratingly stubborn. After that disastrous relationship, I promise you, Gale spares not a single thought toward her. She might have control of the Weave, and as such, stands still his only patron deity, but his new, doting lover? They become something of a new religion for him; he is most devoted, taken by, and so loyal to them.

He does not see Mystra. Do not assume he still feels for her.

He's a man of one love, and they will have all of him.

#HEADCANON.#Never go into the Gale tag because the fandom has such bad faith interpretations of Gale 24/7 #I say as another bad take makes me type this up.#Gale isn't still hung up on her GOD. Stop.#Stop saying 'Gale keeps mentioning Mystra when we're being romantic and it's so annoying.'#Dude. Mystra is his LITERAL god. He is saying YOU ARE HIS NEW FAITH.#Oh my god. Stop misinterpreting it. He isn't still ENAMORED with Mystra.#UGHHHHHHHH.#He got out of an abusive relationship and is finding out THIS is what love is #that this love IS something he can put his faith and heart in.#And you reduce him to... guy that can't get over ex tee hee?#Tell me why I shouldn't make your milk curdle.#Someone: the astral sex scene is just him reliving his moment with Mystra.#Or get this... he himself has basically largely only had sex and intimacy through that realm #and knows it to be pleasurable. He wants his partner to know pleasure beyond all imagination. THAT'S IT.#People make me [semi truck comically long honk].#This man makes it a POINT that his heart is made ONLY for one and you all just?!?!? Talk like this!?! You wound Dean. [third person talk]#Anyway (breathes). I'm normal now. I will be on later cuz big things cane up at work. peace.

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uncanny-tranny · 10 months

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I hate the idea that because people can change, that means that survivors of abuse must lower their guard or forgive the person/people as though their old self has died and thus is incapable of bringing others pain, or that somebody is foolish for being traumatized by abuse because "people can change!".

Yes, statistically-speaking, anybody can change. Yes, maybe even an abuser can change. More often, that's not reality. Oftentimes, their abuse might be rewarded in some way, further solidifying that behaviour and the thoughts that led up to them deciding that they had the right to treat another that way.

Maybe you're a survivor, and your abuser seems to have changed. You might feel guilty that you're "holding on too long" to a person who isn't there. That doesn't mean that you have to let your guard down around them or permit them to be in your life.

#recovery #abuse #abuse tw #and not going to lie i have been told one of my abusers has 'changed' but i do not buy it...#...and i don't think it's bad for me to recognize that and to affirm that i can not be around them under *any* circumstances #at a certain point i do think it's reasonable to observe that somebody is most likely never going to change...#...and that isn't being 'overly negative.' that's called self-preservation #i felt like an asshole when i observed that 1.) my abuser had no remorse 2.) goes BACK to the behaviours that were abusive...#...because it felt like i was being overly negative and didn't believe that 'people change!!'...#...but looking back i think i just wanted to avoid putting the responsibility on my abuser for the abuse they put me through...#...and i was defending them in my head and twisting it to be my fault once again...#...and that's not fair to me. like. again i was a child. like... what responsibilities did i have in that relationship beyond that?#yes people will change. but that doesn't happen without WORK #that doesn't happen magically

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yuckydraws · 4 months

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(Click for better quality)

Healing & Growth

(gif made by my friend @robanilla-arts is below - slight warning for flashing! Thanks again, Rob!)

#if you feel like reading it - I'm gonna ramble in the tags.#Don't really feel like having it attached to the post for forever... cause what if i just wanna reblog some fairysona art??#anyways #this year sucked a lot. in a lot of ways. but im grateful for it.#healing is stupidly hard and annoyingly enough? not linear in the slightest. Yet infuriatingly - it is worth it.#I am far from done with healing. I've barely scratched the surface.#but im learning and connecting with myself along the way.#The biggest step I've taken this year is working on my people pleasing ways. it's a bad habit birthed from a lot of different traumas.#but it no longer rules my life.#I am not passive anymore - and surprise! that doesn't make me a horrible or evil person.#my kindness is no longer a weakness. its still a part of me and always will be. i won't let go of it.#but it is no longer to a fault #there are people undeserving of my kindness... i realize that now. I know what i will and will not put up with in every kind of relationshi #im still learning and exploring - and i've said a lot of goodbyes this year. I'm sure i will say more.#but that's okay.#some relationships are forever - some serve you for a while and teach you a lesson when they end.#and some relationships stick around and don't *have* to have a deeper connection #and that's also okay.#I didn't think I'd make it through this year in all honesty. I was very close to ending it all on multiple occasions.#But. for what it's worth - as of now im glad im here.#i will continue to struggle and have my hard times. im not naive enough to think depression just goes away.#but im okay for now and im moving forward.#there will be pauses and abrupt stops and likely some good ol' rotting involved. but when i can - ill be moving forward.#i will not speak a word of 2024 because no matter what it will have it's ups and downs.#but i will continue to keep working on myself. and that's all anyone can do in this weird life.#if you made it through all of that... uhhhh wow you got a crush on me or smth? /j/j/j/j #but fr - if you read this far... thank you. i hope you're faring well and that you have a happy celebration tonight.#sleep well and dream well when it comes to you #yucky draws #my art

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wolfxe · 20 days

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idk what it is about the way dungeon meshi portrays relationships but it feels so unique to me

i like all of the ships and also want none of them to be canon. it's fun to imagine literally all of them, but it's just as fun to examine the platonic relationships and what they mean

it's so refreshing to see marcille & laios' friendship but i totally get why people ship them. marcille & falin's devotion to each other is amazing to explore in any context. chilchuck & laios, laios & kabru, senshi & chilchuck, even toshiro & falin. literally every character dynamic no matter the romance/lack of it is so interesting to me

it really felt like a breath of fresh air getting into something where the relationships between characters felt both real and substantial the way they are, but also capable of being expanded upon and played with without feeling like they're betraying the main themes/ideas. man i love dungeon meshi

#og #dungeon meshi #i need to make character tags for the meshi crew cause apparently this is gearing up to be a big one #im not really into anime usually #but i had heard a lot of good things about dungeon meshi from people i follow on here that i respect so i gave it a try #watched the anime and immediately started reading the manga #im hooked man this shit is so good #the THEMES man #THE THEMES #it's literally helping me work through some of my own issues i have with myself #especially through laios #god. laios #hes so me and somehow thats helping me examine a lot of stuff about myself and my worldview and repair it a little #im eating better cause i keep remembering senshi when i think about skipping a meal #save me dungeon meshi. save me #im realizing this post makes me seem kind of like i need to be into a ship to like a fandom or something #which isnt true #most fandoms im in dont actually have any ships that interest me #which is why this feels so important. cause its portrayed things so well that i can actually like the ships #its really nice being able to genuinely enjoy most of the stuff made by fans #cause if we're being honest here the majority of fandom content are of ships #which isnt a bad thing but it does mean that if you just like the overall story or individual characters or platonic relationships #then its a little harder to engage with the community #but now i can! very fun

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butchsophiewalten · 8 months

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Man this is so random but this theory is stuck in my head and I wanna see how other people feel about it because I don't see people talk about it a lot (I have no clue if the link will go through properly since I've never put a link in a ask box)

https://www.tumblr.com/art-w0rm/667910993425350656/theory-time

Oh god not this theory again. I really truly try not to be mean to people for no good reason on this blog, but this theory is literally one of the stupidest fucking things I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't talk about this theory because to me it's like the walten files theory equivalent of that tubby custard mechanically separated chicken post.

Most of the time I genuinely don't even consider it worthy of my time, because it's nonsense, but this is a very nicely worded ask, and I really don't mean to dedicate any of the vitriol I hold towards this theory to You, poor anonymous person, so I will deconstruct it. I will go through the theory point-by-point and deconstruct why I disagree with it.

First up, this:

Showbear is not a character in The Walten Files anymore. Showbear was fully retconned and is never going to appear in the series again. He was effectively just a cameo of ThunderingStatic's (one of Martin's friends) OC, but when The Walten Files blew up and people started assuming Showbear was Martin's character, Static decided to withdraw his character from the series and focus putting him in other projects.

Martin talked about this on Twitter forever ago, but I wouldn't be able to find that tweet now. But here's a bit from the interview he did with KnowYourMeme back in 2021 where he talks about it:

Now this:

This is just stupid to me? Like a complete logical incongruity? I barely even know how describe what is dumb about this because I can't even fathom how anyone draws this conclusion from this information. How is it strange for a man to say 'if my wife isn't home by the time she said she was going to be, let me know, in case something happened.'????? Why would Rosemary be out cheating on her husband with her fucking daughter with her??? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would her whole life collapse when he went missing? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would she show up at the restaurant every day after he disappeared asking if anyone had seen him and hoping to find him alive??? Why would she make paintings of herself and him together after he disappeared????? What the fuck are you talking about?

Ok now this:

Whatever. This is maybe the most coherent part of the theory, to me. I definitely agree that Sha evokes a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' sort of aesthetic, but I do remember Martin saying something in a Twitter Q&A at one point about how that wasn't actually intentional, and that Bon was the character he actually meant to seem unusually predatory. I looked for a while and couldn't find a screenshot of that, but I did find this one where he says the thing about Bon:

So whatever. take that with a grain of salt.

I don't even know what to say. here. Whatever. sure she was rolling in the hay

yeah Rosemary is asking if she's still beautiful because she cheated on her husband and not because she was chopped up and stuffed inside a big animatronic sheep. I think this is correct and is the True Deep Lore.of the walten files. I'm sure this doesn't have anything to do with the recurring motif of the double-meaning behind the word Beautiful either.

I don't know why it's weird that the lost lingering spirit of a mother would be calling out to her only living child. I Don't know why that needs additional explanation involving this batshit infidelity conspiracy theory.

Sha's chest is also ripped out

So is Banny's, honestly? Just a little less?

ok now this:

I guess I can't disprove this except that I think this is dumb. I think this is a really incredibly stupid logical leap to make. Y'know I really meant to go into this levelheadedly and very calmly go through every point and talk about why I think it's Decisively Disagreeable or whatever but I can't. I really can't. I just cannot keep my patience with this sort of thing.

You'd think if there was an infidelity aspect here it would've been lampshaded in some respect, at all, in the old /sophiewalten findjackwalten page text. Where it's literally Sophie talking to Jenny about what she remembers about her family.

Especially if the idea is that Sophie is meant to have been there. You'd think something like that would have come up here. Not 'she was nice and a good mom until my dad disappeared and her mental health started getting worse'

#ask #this theory always feels like someone's pulling a prank on me. like they're trying to see how much stupid bullshit they can say convincingl #before i notice and get mad #i'm sorry i couldn't keep it together for you anon I really dont mean to make anyone feel like an idiot #i just really don't have the patience for something like this today I think.#we haven't seen a lot of rosemary's characterization in the walten files yet #but everything we HAVE seen externally characterizes her as loving and compassionate but also sharply protective of the people she loves #and also so very deeply incredibly in love with her husband #and there's actually a decent bit of positioning her and jack as equals in their relationship which isn't exactly usual for the time #yknow. she has her own car and she has a job (even if its working for her husband's company.)#she's headstrong and ferociously talented and her husband is very supportive of her and of her artistic endeavors #yknow. the tragedy of jack and rose isn't that their relationship was bad #it's that their relationship was great and it was cut short over factors outside of their control #and now it lingers through the hallways of abandoned buildings as a broken facsimile of itself #there was a wonderful family full of people who loved each other intensely and had their whole lives still ahead of them #and it took one summer for all of it to be gone

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annamaryllis · 2 months

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I would like to know exactly how luke asking annabeth to run away with him went down.

#annabeth🥺#it's sad to think about how it'll be so much harder for annabeth to unpack and heal from that relationship bc he's dead #it's hard enough to come to terms with someone you love/held in high esteem hurting you so deeply #but she's also grieving him too so it's even harder to hold him accountable to herself and recognizing the good and the bad #she may struggle to not romanticize the memory of him #sorting through what about their relationship was pure and genuine and what was fueled by other stuff #both of their trauma really played into it in some of the worst ways...#but to even recognize how her trauma played into it she'd have to identify what her trauma even is and how it's affected her life #it's really complex and difficult work #and bc he's gone she'll never get to question him on stuff like what he was thinking at certain points and why #so certain things will never get the best closure #ugh it's all so fucked up #MAYBE SOMETHING WE COULD HAVE EXPLORED IN HOO RICHARD???? BUT NO #and it would have been perfect too bc she'd also be dealing with issues caused by both of her parents triggered by the MoA quest #like her mother's conditional love #and trauma from her mortal family #and her fear of spiders relates to both of these things bc it's a phobia that's passed down from her mom's actions #so she's being punished for something she's not responsible for and also being burdened with a quest simply for being her mother's daughter #and it also represents her mortal family's neglect bc they ignored her needs and all that...#AND THEN the only person she's received actually pure and good unconditional love from was snatched from her for 6 months #and the MoA quest could have been a way to confront some of these fears and wounds...so she's a little stronger by tartarus which #should bring out the best in her and the worst in percy #and then he can work through some stuff too down there #HoO could have been a journey for them where they're undone and then healed #bc at the end of everything they have the medicine to literally everything which is real love (which they have for each other intensely)#the rant I could go on about this...I have so many thoughts about what HoO should have been. maybe one day #annabeth chase #luke castellan #✏️

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quietwingsinthesky · 8 months

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Do you agree w/ the fandom interpretation that john was so homophobic he’d have beaten up and abandoned his sons for being gay? Cause sure, he grew up in the 60s as a mechanic and then later became a marine during the vietnam war, but i also don’t think homophobia would’ve necessarily been a priority for him? Like obviously he’s not gonna be the full on supportive and politically correct loving dad, but i think that the fandom’s general opinion on that is pretty warped by people’s relationships w/ their own fathers

I do think this is one place where people tend to project. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that; working out our issues through fiction is healthy and good! I don’t think there’s any canon proof of it beyond, as you said, him being a marine from the sixties who would probably not be super knowledgeable about being queer, maybe a little apprehensive about it from what he’s absorbed through the culture he grew up in. I think we’d be correct to point out that if Sam or Dean were queer, he might be uncomfortable about it, he might try to avoid the topic, which is in of itself hurtful.

The thing about me is: I fully disagree that John was ever physically abusive towards his kids. At most, I will bend this interpretation to say he was probably too harsh on them while teaching them to fight and that maybe he and Sam have traded blows before when arguments got too loud (by blows, I mean, probably shoving with the yelling, you know, assertion of physical space. It seems realistic to me that two people who have been using violence for a long time to protect themselves, and for John, his family, down to the hierarchal power he’s put in place of him -> Dean -> Sam, would resort to it when things got too heated.)

(I also think that sometimes fandom’s insistence that John had to be physically abusive can sometimes get a little insulting because it perpetuates the idea that emotional abuse does less harm and can be overlooked and for flattening out John’s character in a way the show very literally pointed to and said He Did Not Do That. This is the entire point of Max’s episode in s1, for the show to point out that their experiences of abuse were different. How well it was handled is arguable, but I take it as clear evidence that when we talk about John’s relationship with his sons, the focus should be on the emotional abuse, the codependency he developed with Dean from a very young age, his neglect of them both, his attempts to suppress Sam, etc. And I appreciate this about the show, because you can’t talk about any of those things without also talking about why they’re happening, why John thinks this is necessary, how he loves his sons and isolates them to protect them and ends up doing more and more damage that will never leave them through their entire lives.

I’m sure there’s depictions of John being physically abusive that handle it with the same amount of nuance that the show handles him being emotionally abusive in canon. I have not seen them, unfortunately. I’ve seen John being physically abusive 90% of the time just being used as shorthand for him being Bad and Evil and A Terrible Father. Which does not interest me. So I will remain here as a staunch defender of He Would Not Fucking Hit His Kids.)

Sorry, okay, we got off topic there this is about gay shit.

The point of All Of That was for me to be able to say, John’s not going to react to his sons being queer by beating them. He’s definitely not going to abandon them. Hello? John Winchester? Abandon his kids? John Winchester, the guy who has been keeping them in warded up motel rooms their whole lives and moving them across the country out of paranoia the demon who killed his wife could find them if they say anywhere too long? John Winchester who only trusted one or two people to ever look after his sons when he went on a hunting trip too long? We think that John would ditch his kid because they’re queer???

Like I said, I think the most realistic reaction for John, (if not just flat out him going ‘that’s fine, now load this gun while I time you because that’s more important for me to know that you can do’, because. He kind of has bigger priorities to worry about here. Like werewolves.) would be discomfort and pushing it out of his view, ignoring it. Which would still fucking hurt! And would have horrible effects on Sam and Dean both, would encourage Dean to repress it if he thinks his dad is ashamed of him, would push Sam away if he trusts John with this fact about himself and can’t be accepted easily.

I just think this is truer to John’s character.

Anyway. If nothing else here persuades anyone reading that John Would Not Fucking Do That, well. He thought his kid was demonspawn, remember? He thought Sam was corrupted and might not be able to be saved. I don’t think you can get more clear queercoding than that, and you know what John’s very telling response was to that information, to finding out something a thousand times more terrifying than Sam being gay ever could be? To refuse to look at it. To insist to himself that whatever Hell wanted with Sam, he wouldn’t let it happen. To tell Dean to take care of it, because even when John is certain that his son might literally become a demon, he could never bring himself to pull the trigger on him. Because he loves Sam.

So like. He literally would not do anything for the much smaller realization that Sam is gay. His son has demon blood that might turn him super evil, and John still wouldn’t hurt him.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is, I try to keep the fact that John loved his sons at the forefront of my mind when I’m writing stuff about him, because I think if you let that slide out of your head, you can very easily make him much worse, much more flat than he was in canon. The real picture of him is just an extremely flawed man in a terrible situation who fucks up his kids as much as he protects them.

And also he wouldn’t care about them being gay because JohnAzazel real and true and they fucked sloppy in that hospital basement-

#this was so many words holy shit I did not need to ramble that much #but I did <3 #this is what u get when u send me an ask I have too many thoughts #john winchester #ask #spn #again reiterating that like. it is not a bad thing to work out ur issues through fiction.#hell knows I do. and hell knows I used to be a lot less kind to John BECAUSE daddy issues. so I get it. it’s literally fine. it’s fandom.#u are free to do whatever so long as you aren’t a dick to other people about the character they like that you dont #(…I am going to side eye you if you feel the need to insist john had to be physically abusive because he was just That Bad to his kids.#but that’s more like. ‘I think you might have some unexamined biases about the nuances of abuse.’ more than anything.)#tw abuse #re: John abandoning his kids:#I know Bad Boys(?) has John leaving dean at the boy’s home. uh. personally?#I think that’s just bad writing. I think they misunderstood John’s particular brand of weird relationship to dean.#I don’t tend to count that instance as canon or at least not in the way the show presented it.#but ur mileage obv may vary. it’s just my opinion that that was a later seasons fumble.

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