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#yeah might as well start tagging that way
steves-sub · 16 hours
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Time for Action
Dark!Team Cap (Steve, Bucky, Sam, Natasha, Wanda) x innocent!female reader
Summary: The team's plan is finally going into action.
warning: Non-con drugging, hypnosis, deceiving people
A/N: I couldn't leave you hanging, so I'm back to finish the series. A lot has changed for me since I started this journey. I'm in a much better place now – happier, healthier, and pursuing my passion for special education. I also found love, which has greatly impacted my life. I may not be writing again anytime soon, but I'll always be grateful for the support of this community. These stories kept me going when things were tough, and I hope they bring you as much joy as you've brought me.
tags: @rihannabale @sideeve @apollosouls-blog @luvfromdixiedoll @chemtrails-club
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The long-awaited day had finally come. After carefully applying your makeup and smoothing out your dress, you couldn't contain your excitement about spending time with Steve and his friends. To mark the occasion, you even wore a new dress - a lovely white sundress adorned with sunflowers, a charming nod to Steve's nickname.
As I heard a "ding" from my cell phone, I walked over to check it. To my surprise, it was a message from Steve saying, "Be there in 5 minutes." Despite my insistence on biking, Steve was determined to drive me. "You are a princess; you should be treated like one," he said with a smile. This level of care and consideration from a friend was something I had never experienced before.
As the sound of the car pulling up reached your ears, you gracefully descended the stairs, your luscious curls bouncing with each step. The scent of Steve's potent cologne wafted through the air as you closed the door behind you. Glancing back, you caught sight of him emerging from his car, clad in a crisp white button-down and navy pants. It seemed impossible, but your attraction to him intensified in that moment. As Steve made his way towards you, you could have sworn you heard a low growl escape him. "Wow, y/n, you truly are a sunflower. You look absolutely stunning, my darling," his words caused a rush of warmth to flood your cheeks."
“Thank you, Steve! I chose this dress specifically for this occasion. I hoped to leave a lasting impression on your friends." Steve enveloped you in a warm embrace, and as he did, you thought you felt his hand subtly moving towards your lower back, but before you could dwell on it, he gently pulled away. "Don't worry too much; I'm sure they will adore you, just like I do," he assured you with a playful touch on your nose, causing you to let out a spontaneous giggle. Steve gracefully circled around you and gallantly opened the door of his sleek black car, a vehicle worth more than your annual salary. "Step in, my princess. Your carriage awaits," he declared as he entered the vehicle himself and closed the door behind you.
As he settled into the driver's seat, he reached behind him and retrieved a water bottle. "The drive might take a while, so I brought you a water bottle," he said with a warm smile. You accepted the bottle, returning his smile, and twisted off the cap. The water had an unusual taste, but you didn't want to cause any inconvenience. Keeping your thoughts to yourself, you continued on your journey.
After half an hour of casual conversation with Steve, he steered onto a narrow dirt road. "It's just a short drive down this road, and then we'll be there," he reassured, gently taking your hand. "Don't worry, sunflower. I promise they will adore you," he repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time. Throughout the journey, Steve did his best to ease your nerves, chatting with you and offering you sips of that peculiar water. While you did start to feel more at ease, the anticipation still made you jittery. Finally, he pulled up to an exquisite house. "Wow," you marveled as you gazed out the window, "you guys live here?" You had little knowledge about Steve and never would have guessed that he was well-off. "Yeah," he chuckled, "my friends and I have been renovating this house for a while. It's our retirement plan." 
I turned to look at Steve, my face twisted in confusion. "Retirement plan? You're not even 40!" Steve chuckled once again at my comment. "Well, we all needed a break, so we decided to come up here for a bit," he spoke as he expertly parked the car in the circle driveway. "Are you ready?" he asked, extending his hand towards me. I took his hand in mine and squeezed it, replying, "Ready." He smiled back at me as he exited the car to open the door for me.
As the two of you approached the door, Steve reached out and turned the handle, allowing the door to swing open. "Hey guys, we're here!" he called out, his voice echoing through the seemingly empty house. Suddenly, the distinct sound of clicking heels filled the air, and a young redhead in a vibrant red coat appeared before you. "Oh my gosh, you're here!" she exclaimed, enveloping you in a warm, enthusiastic hug. "Steve has not stopped talking about you. You’re Y/n, right? I'm Wanda," she said with a smile. "It's so nice to meet you too! I wish I could say the same about you," you teased, playfully nudging Steve's arm. "Oh, that's just Steve. He's a pretty reserved person. Come in, come in, everyone’s in the kitchen," Wanda said, taking the lead as she ushered you inside. Following her lead, you kicked off your sandals and made your way into the inviting warmth of the kitchen. "See, not so bad," Steve remarked quietly. "Yeah, Wanda seems super nice," you agreed. "And we're only just getting started," Steve added, gently holding your hand as you both stepped into the bustling kitchen. 
The two of us walked into the kitchen and spotted the rest of the group. A striking redhead in a sleek black dress perched on the counter, enjoying a glass of wine. A confident black man was busy setting up the table, while another man with a metallic arm was hard at work in the kitchen. Wanda caught their attention and introduced me with a warm smile, prompting the others to follow suit. The redhead, Natasha, strolled over to me and greeted me affectionately. "I'm Natasha. Your dress is stunning; I can see why Steve calls you sunflower," she remarked with a smirk, casting a glance at Steve as she embraced me. "Thank you, yours is gorgeous as well," I replied.
The man who was setting the table made his way over to us. "So, this is the famous Y/N Steve can't stop talking about? I can see why," he said with a warm smile as he confidently walked over. "Sam Wilson, nice to meet you," he said as he extended his hand. I couldn't help but giggle as I looked at his hand. "Thank you; you are all super kind to me," I replied with a smile. "Well, Steve said you were a special friend, so you deserve to feel special," the last man said as he extended his hand for a handshake. "Bucky Barnes, we are so happy you are here," he said warmly. I couldn't help but feel grateful for the kindness of these people and how lucky Steve must be to have such thoughtful friends. "Told you they would love you, sunflower," Steve said as he brought me in for a side hug.
As I made my way towards the counter where Natasha was, Bucky informed me that dinner would be ready in a few minutes. He listed the menu as salad, pasta, chicken, brussels sprouts, and homemade mini cakes courtesy of Wanda. Natasha then offered me a glass of wine. I accepted and requested a Pinot Grigio, and as she went to the fridge, she discreetly took a small vial of clear liquid from the refrigerator before leaving the kitchen with Steve following her.
Once they reached the wine cellar, Natasha's eyes sparkled with excitement as she deftly grabbed the bottle she sought. "Everything ready?" Steve inquired, wrapping his arms around her waist. Their relationship had evolved into one of friends with benefits since they had been on the run, but now they no longer needed to rely on such arrangements. "As long as she drank the water you gave her, then we will be set," Natasha confirmed, setting the wine glass on the counter and retrieving the vial. "She doesn't feel anything right now; she's just relaxed. This, however, will make her more open to our suggestions and make her easier to seduce. We will have her in our hands in no time." Natasha finished pouring the wine and closed the bottle with a sense of determination. "I wanted to have her right then and there when I saw her in that sundress. She has no idea what she is doing to me," Steve confessed. "Soon, Steve, soon," Natasha called out to Steve as she returned to the party, him following closely behind.
Natasha and Steve glided into the room, Natasha holding a delicate glass of wine. "Here you go, angel," Natasha said as she gracefully handed the glass to the recipient. "Perfect timing, the food is ready," Bucky exclaimed. "Do you need help with anything?" you kindly asked the cooks. "Nonsense, you are our guest. Go have a seat; we will be over shortly," Wanda said as she expertly opened the oven. The rest of the group approached the table, which Sam meticulously set. You found yourself seated between Steve and Natasha, with Sam, Bucky, and Wanda on the other side.
Steve rose from his chair with a beer in hand as the delicious food was placed on the table, and everyone took their seats. "I would like to propose a toast to Y/N," he announced, causing a flutter in your stomach as everyone smiled at you. "Thank you for gracing us with your presence tonight. I feel that this evening will be etched in our memories forever. Cheers!" he exclaimed, raising his glass as everyone followed suit. It was clear that tonight was going to be truly extraordinary.  
After an hour had passed, not a morsel of food remained, and the plates sparkled clean. It had been quite some time since you felt so carefree and relaxed, and the feeling was beautiful. As Wanda and Bucky shared a hilarious story, you found yourself laughing along with them while the others tidied up after dinner. Natasha approached you with another glass of wine, but you declined, explaining to her with a tinge of sadness that you and Steve would have to leave soon. The evening had been so enjoyable that you wished it wouldn't end. "Don't worry, sweetie. You're more than welcome to spend the night if you'd like," Steve called out from the kitchen. "But I don't have anything with me for an overnight stay," you quickly pointed out.
"We have a spare bedroom, and you can borrow some sweats. Seriously, don't sweat about it," Wanda said with a warm smile. "Are you sure about that?" you questioned Wanda, feeling grateful for her hospitality. "We are positive," Natasha responded reassuringly as she once again handed the glass to you, her eyes reflecting genuine concern. "Okay, okay. But this is the last glass; I'm starting to feel the effects of drinking," you commented, letting out a light-hearted laugh. Unbeknownst to you, the group exchanged knowing glances, anticipation for their plan evident in their eyes. 
As Steve suggested heading to the living room to wrap up the evening, he approached you and gently massaged your shoulders. You yawned, feeling the wine's effects, and quickly apologized for your drowsiness. "Sorry, I just got sleepy. This wine might be stronger than I thought," you chuckled. As you stood up and headed to the living room, you noticed your vision becoming blurry, causing you to lose your balance.
"Are you feeling okay, honey?" Bucky asked, his concerned gaze fixed on you. "I just feel a bit dizzy. Do you mind if I go to bed early?" you inquired, steadying yourself against the back of the couch. "Why don't you lie down next to me? It might help," suggested Steve as he came over to you. You hoped that his suggestion would bring some relief as Steve gently guided you to the plush couch. He positioned you in the center, and everyone respectfully kept their distance, allowing you some space.
You heard a gentle buzzing sound beginning and looked around to locate its source. "What's that noise?" you asked as you attempted to sit up, but the throbbing in your head persisted. "Oh, it's just some soft music. It's meant to help you relax," Wanda reassured you as you felt Steve gently guide your head back onto his shoulder where it had been resting. In front of you, the TV displayed a captivating screen saver. It consisted of black and white squares merging into each other. Strangely, it was pretty soothing and difficult to look away from.
As you commented on the intriguing screen, you noticed your speech slowing down unintentionally. In response, Sam softly remarked, "Yeah, I know. It came with the TV. We tried to change it but couldn't figure it out." Unbeknownst to you, Wanda had silently approached from behind. Her hand emitted a crimson magical energy that flowed into your head, inducing a sudden and profound relaxation.
"It's not too bad; it can be quite relaxing to look at. Don't you think it's relaxing?" Wanda asked, her words echoing in your mind whenever she mentioned "relaxing." "Relaxing?" you mumbled sleepily. "Yes, darling, relaxing," Steve whispered into your ear as he gently brushed some hair away from your face, ensuring your gaze remained fixed on the screen before you. Despite your efforts to look away, it was difficult to resist.
As your eyelids grew heavier, it became increasingly difficult to keep them open. "Are you getting sleepy over there, my lovely sunflower?" Steve softly chuckled. You attempted to shake your head, but the effort was futile. "It's okay to relax and sleep, darling. Just close your eyes and let go," Bucky's voice whispered. "I don't want to," you replied in the faintest of whispers.
Natasha's soothing voice filled the room as she said, "Why not? It's okay to relax and sleep. To close those heavy eyes and sleep." Her gentle hand massaged my shoulders, lulling me into an even deeper state of relaxation. "Sleep?" I questioned. Steve let out a chuckle and reassured me, "That's right, honey, just sleep for me. I'll keep you safe. Just close those heavy, heavy eyes and sleep for me." Each word from Steve felt like a gentle command, and I found myself unable to resist as I followed his instructions, succumbing to the irresistible urge to close my heavy eyelids.
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nerdyloverparadise · 2 days
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IM DONE STARVING YOU GUYS!!
Pt.3 of Chuuya Fanfiction/Headcanons.
2.2k Words
Disclaimer: This is basically like a fanfiction to the Headcanons. Explaining the course of which the reader and Chuuya "nurtured" their relationship. This is only the first part of the story because I didn't want to continue starving the people for so long so please enjoy it. This scene was recommended by someone also to include so I did my best. It contains the following things: groping, harassment (not from Chuuya!), choking, cursing, unspoken tension. ENJOY!!
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Months went by of working in the Port Mafia together and upon analyzing how well Chuuya mentored you, Mori decided to partner you both often on missions. Oftentimes it was you, Chuuya, and one other person who was a strategist. The partner hated tagging along due to you and Chuuyas banter but it's just a regular occurrence at this point.
JEALOUSY
Now that we’ve set the groundwork… How did you two end up falling for each other? It all started when Mori assigned you both to a mission—one that would reveal just how jealous Chuuya could be when someone else laid hands on you.
The mission involved seducing a big-shot gambler to draw him away from his table long enough for Chuuya to search his belongings and determine if he needed to be eliminated. The man might be innocent, but Mori’s philosophy was always better safe than sorry.
Mori: I have a task for both of you.
Chuuya and You: What is it?
Mori: This man might be in cahoots with a well-known gang around Yokohama. I need you to locate him and search him for any leads.
-
Chuuya: I could handle this by myself.
“As if, you always need me.” You nudge Chuuya’s shoulder, and he immediately wants to toss you out the window.
Chuuya: I do not NEED you!
You: Yeah, right. You need me like you need your next breath.
For some reason, this line struck a nerve with Chuuya. Not because it angered him, but because it sparked a twinge of desire. He enjoyed bantering with you, realizing that his days without you were a blur compared to the ones you spent together on missions. He grits his teeth and clenches his fists, his cheeks growing red as his breathing becomes shallow and jagged. Mori, of course, notices Chuuya's sudden silence, his hand raking through his hair to appear casual while his face flushes crimson.
Mori: I have an idea, Y/N. You’ll play an imperative role in this mission. I need you to seduce the gambler. It's a quick and easy way to ensure our success.
You: Alright, that's fine. Nothing difficult.
Chuuya’s eyes widen as he processes what Mori just said. Seduce? Seduce??
Mori: Unless… our fiery friend here has a problem with that. Huh, Chuuya?
Chuuya: Problem? No, there's no problem. Why would I have a problem, Boss?
Mori: Judging by the redness of your face, the sudden lack of aggression, and the sweaty palms… I just wanted to ensure you’d be okay with her seducing another man.
Chuuya didn’t quite know what he was feeling, so he vehemently rejected the suggestion.
Chuuya: What the… groans Let’s just find the guy, Y/N.
He's dragging you by the arm out of Mori’s office, his hat over his face to hide his flushed expression. He doesn't speak for a while, walking straight out of the PM with you stumbling behind, struggling to match his long strides. He must be really bugged by something; you didn’t know he could walk that fast.
Later, you both enter the casino, greeted by flashing lights and bustling aisles. Addicts play their hearts out, sending their money spiraling down the drain. You walk in front of Chuuya, your hips swaying fluidly with each step. Something clicks in Chuuya's head—his eyes are glued to the sleek motion of your backside instead of his surroundings. Shit… Why the hell am I so entranced by this? They've always worn this, what’s different today?
You’ve put on something more form-fitting for the mission, a little more business casual but not completely safe for work. Your curves are hugged in all the right places, and he can’t tear his eyes away. How your legs are so nice, toned, and thick, just like…
You continue to scan the area, and Chuuya makes his way to your side. “See anything, brat?”
“No, not yet, Chuus.”
“Chuus? Seriously, you're such a loser.”
“It’s just a nickname, don’t be a dick about it.”
As you both move through the casino, you spot a big, burly man at a table with a group of alcohol-reeking guys. He’s holding a deck of playing cards, spinning one on his fingertips. His chest hair peeks out over his half-buttoned shirt. Not only does he look like a big-shot gambler, but he also has a suspicious duffle bag under his chair.
Chuuya, that’s definitely our guy.” Before Chuuya can react, you’re already walking over and asking to sit on the man's lap. All part of the mission. Chuuya lingers in the distance, but his eyes are locked on you both. Watching as your hands grace the man's chest, seducing him into letting you sit in his lap. Your fingers trail down his neck, and you whisper compliments into his ear with your lips brushing the lobe as you speak. The man looks at you like you’re the hottest thing on earth, cards damn near spilling out of his hands as his friends watch in awe, and Chuuya is clenching his fist, trying to ignore the heat rising in his cheeks.
“I fuckin’ hate that brat. No way.”
The man's rough hands wrap around your arm and pull you onto his lap. He adjusts in his chair a little before continuing his game. Throughout the entirety of it, you can feel his pants tightening underneath you, the groin area of it pushing against the swell of your ass. You use it to your advantage and grind down into him causing his breath to hitch.
“Ya like that?” You whisper into his ear, catching a glimpse of Chuuya out of the corner of your eye. He looks fine.
“Don't start sumthin ya can't finish, sweetheart…” He responds, his voice husky and smooth, like how a villain would sound. A large hand comes down to rest on your thigh, pulsing between light squeezes and ones with more pressure.
Chuuya’s eyes are piercing your skin like bullets now. It feels like his clothing is tightening on his body, leaching to his flesh as it collects sweat. His eyes are glued to the hand on your thigh, his mind wandering as he watches it ripple with each touch. Anyone who was watching him right now would see him unballing his fist and latching his hand onto his own thigh, squeezing it tightly in his hand in tandem with what he was seeing. Suddenly the burly man stands up with you still in his arms, his big thighs scooting the chair back for him. You look no less than cocky with a big grin on your face. The man has you in his arms bridally, your upper body reclining against the crook of his arm, head suspended in the air, and hair cascading downward under the pull of gravity.
“Got sumn to take care of now, boys. I’ll catch ya later.” He steps out from between the chair and the poker table, leaving the duffle bag under his chair as planned. This was supposed to be Chuuya’s cue to collect it, to search the contents for anything suspicious, but his feet felt cemented in place by the weight of his envy. Why? They were always at each other's throats, so why the sudden concern? Not even he could answer that, but the pool of warmth forming in his pelvis could. He eventually snaps out of it when he sees your arm waving frantically, echoing the look on your face as you mouth, “Chuuya, grab the bag!” The man rounds the corner, disappearing along with his muscular frame and you in his arms.
You barely had half a second to scrutinize Chuuya's face, and all you could see was pure aggravation. That's the only detail you could fixate on as you were whisked away to the casino's backrooms. Then, Mori’s words echoed in your ears, emphasizing the flush on Chuuya's face when you mentioned how indispensable you were to him—like his next breath. Were you truly that indispensable? It was meant to be a joke, but Chuuya's intense scrutiny of the man's hands as they cradled your thigh with a fervor that mirrored his gaze during heated confrontations left you questioning. That same blazing passion, usually only unmasked when you were at intense odds, was being applied to this situation too. The realization dawned on you with startling clarity---was he starting to feel something for you?
Chuuya darts over to the table, his mouth deduced to a thin line, masking any trace of emotion. The men at the table didn't pay too much mind to the bag being stolen so it was simple enough. He tucks himself away into a corner and starts to search the bag. There was money, obviously stolen, artifacts, and documents of certain government information which was supposed to stay under lock and key. “Yeah… we definitely got our guy. Great for me, I'm itching ta-” His remarks were cut short by a throaty scream. “Get the hell off of me!”
Chuuya knew that yell like the back of his hand, he'd encountered it time and time again back at headquarters when he was screwing around. He dropped the items that were inside of the duffle and looked up, his eyes skimming to the side slightly as if the sound were right next to him. “Whattt? Thought ya liked me, sweetheart?” He was damn near ready to hurl at the commotion. He knew exactly what was going on but his body was frozen momentarily, his mouth slightly ajar as he crushed the handle of the bag in his hands. “Pretty collar ya got there. Let me show you a good time, little doll.” A smug grin plastered on his face from ear to ear. “Come on, you were damn near riding my thigh earlier, I know you're just ready for me down there, yeah?” His lips were grazing your ear as he spoke, his breath hot and rank with liquor. Your little frame was smashed into the wall by his hunky one and he wasn't relenting, not even when you started to sweat and squirm, a look of terror in your eyes that didn't betray the fear shooting through your body.
It was almost as if Chuuya could hear the leather of the choker burning into your skin as that man's hand came down on it tightly. The slight squeak and scrunch it made against your flesh as your chin flew up into the air, throat straining for oxygen it wasn't receiving. His rough hands were unyielding, merciless, as they pushed your back flush against the wall. Your head was thumping now, blood running through it like a riptide as it bumped the wall several times, but you couldn't blow your cover, not even when his hands started to wiggle their way down in between your bodies, trailing down your stomach like eerily soft trickles of rain.
“Nngh.. Ah-hach! CHUUYA--Goddamit! TODAY PLEASE!” The voices were very faint but Chuuya could hear them perfectly clear. His knees steadied as he got up from his squat quickly, using his gravity manipulation to make himself a bit lighter as he darted to the corner he'd seetn you get whirled around earlier. His body seemed to take initiative before his brain did. What was happening to you hadn't even had time to register properly before he was already halfway to where you resided chaotically.
You were starting to gasp for air as the man's hand tightened around your neck firmly. Coughs littering the air around you.
“Who’s Chuuya, hm? Some twink, sweetheart? Doesn't matter, no one's saving ya.”
“He'll kick your-!”
“Ah… watch your mouth, doll. You put yourself in this situation and now… I'm gonna get my fix outta you.”
His hands seemed to pulse, allowing you enough air to keep your vision from going out. It felt like he was about to break the choker you received from Chuuya and that made a wave of anxiety shoot through you. A pit of uneasiness settling right above your pelvis. Your feet were starting to lift from the floor slightly, onto the tips of your toes. Your teeth clenched together in a desperate attempt to wiggle free ever so slightly.
“How would your mother feel if she knew this was how you handled women?” A familiar raspy voice echoes from around the corner, followed by a blaze of orange and red light. His glare was deadly, barely any time had passed before he had the man crushed up against the wall, feet off the ground with drool dribbling down his chin. 'And just so were clear, I aint a twink.’
You’re watching the whole display from the ground, having fallen to the ground when the man released you, hacking and coughing for air while Chuuya handled the rest. When he’d apprehended the guy and freed you, he scowled at you with an intensity that rivaled a full on reprimand. His eyes were darkened and narrow, his lips stretched in a straight line. It’s like you could hear his thoughts, even in this half of a second. It wasn’t a normal seething rage, it was fueled by something deeper. Something so strong that his eyes seemed to talk on their own, like an “ill handle you later” type of glare.
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Smoke session (modern!Criston Cole x Reader)
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synopsis: When Criston arrives at your place for a smoke session the two of you don´t know what is about to happen, but one thing is for sure, Neither of you is going to complain about it.
warnings: drug use (smoking weed), smut, pwp basically, mutual masturbation, 69, oral sex (m and f receiving), p in v, afab reader
word count: 2.1k
taglist: @hopelesswritergall @urmomsgirlfriend1 @bucknastysbabe
(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
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“My knight in shining armour!” You greet Criston the moment he steps out of his car to walk up the driveway.
On bare feet you tap over the warm stones to wrap your arms around him for a moment before taking the plastic back out of his large hands. Then you pull him into a quick hug, earning a chuckle as he hugs you back.
“Have I ever told you that you are the best?” You giggle as the two of you go back inside.
“You might have mentioned something like that once or twice.” He chuckles, letting his dark eyes rest on you.
“Well, it can't hurt to be told again. Can it? Now come on in. I got everything ready. The only things missing are you and the snacks.” You urge him forward, settling on the couch and spreading out the bags and tubs next to drinks and spoons. Meanwhile Criston lights up the pre rolled goods and starts up the movie. Smoking and watching the TV is interrupted with little bouts of comfortable chatter here and there. While fleeting eyes caught as many glimpses as they could.
The way his lips looked wrapped so securely around the tip and how they formed around the smoke looks too tempting.
When the bud becomes too warm for you, you turn to him.
“You wanna shotgun the rest?” You hold up the bud that has two drags left.
“Sure.” Comes Criston's answer and to your surprise he plugs it from your fingers.
You shift so you can face him on the sofa and watch Criston's chest expand as he takes a deep drag from the joint. Shivering under his touch pulling you closer. Until your lips sealed for you to suck the smoke out of his lungs.
The action makes your face burn just as much as the harsh cough from the burning smoke of the weed in your lungs.
“Shit.” You curse out loud in a hoarse voice, bowing forward and away from him.
The warm palm of a hand rubs soothing circles into your back all the while. Gratefully you accept the bottle of water that you are being handed.
“Are you good?” The dark-haired man asks with a lingering smile.
“Yeah. Yeah, I´m fine. Just burns a bit.” You rasp through the unpleasant sensation in your throat.
You are still coughing lightly when you take the next drag from the joint. The two of you had been so close and the feeling of his lips on yours was out of this world. Yet your friendship had never alluded to ever potentially going in that direction. Ever.
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You try to concentrate on the movie, but the little plot in it makes it all the harder.
Taking a deep breath, you let your hands slide off your body, to allow them to rest against your sides comfortably, unknowingly touching his thighs as well. Your attention is dead set on the movie that is playing on the tv and Criston´s even breathing beside you. Though it is hard to hear and understand what was going on in the movie. The two of you are quietly enjoying the buzz and the total relaxation it brought along. The silence between you is only broken when your fingers twitch instinctively. As a reaction to the movement against his thigh, Criston lets out a breathy whimper.
For the first time today, you allow yourself to really look at him, committing every last inch of him to your memory. The way the pristine white tank top puts his dark chest hair on display, the way his head is laid back to rest on the sofa as a new joint hangs from his lips. The picture your influenced mind paints is a very different one however. One that has you rubbing your thighs together in search for stimulation unconsciously.
Behind your eyelids there is a picture of Criston in the same position, but his eyes flutter and his whole body trembles. Chest heaving from overwhelming stimulation. Unbeknownst to you his thoughts drift off in a similar direction. The shorts he wears are growing tighter by the minute as his hardening cock twitches in its confines. Even more so when One of your tentative hands creeps up to lay high on his thigh, your thumb rubbing circles into it. One look towards you and he sees you sitting beside him still, eyes on the TV in a blissed-out gaze. Another shuddering breath as your thumb subconsciously pressed down a little. Instead of saying something though, one of his hands reciprocates your touch in kind. Running the length of your thigh and letting the tips of his fingers brush against where you wanted him most at the moment. There is no need for any words, you move your hips closer to his every touch and soon his hand finds its way to the zipper of your shorts, dipping below them into your lace panties easily. Slipping a finger into your wet hole.
You sigh and arch your back as he almost immediately adds a second finger and curls them inside the fluttering cunt. The sensation has his cock stirring in his pants once more, this time against your palm which had found its way up to his crotch. Freeing the hardness from the pants just enough to tease Criston back.
Swiftly you lick your palm and run it along his length. Tugging at it and teasing the sensitive tip with your thumb, earning a deep groan. Criston´s thumb toys with your delicate pearl and you completely let go.
“Oh fuck. Feels so good.” You rasp as your thighs around his hand.
It leaves more space for his thick digits to slip in deeper, reaching deeper. A pleasurable hum is the answer.
“Don't stop.” He groans. “Just like that.”
Criston passes the joint to you and steps up the pace at which he pumps his fingers into you. Just as you tug on his length faster. Neither of you can hold back the heavy breathing and escaping whines and whimpers. This had never happened before, yet there was not a single piece of mind going to that fact.
“I'm close, please…” You whimper.
The joint long forgotten in an ashtray to the side and both of your bodies trembling under the other's hand. Only for it all to suddenly stop and Criston's hand to remove itself from your core.
“I want to taste you first. Please.” Is the needy reaction you get.
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Clothes carelessly fly everywhere and before you can even think of getting in any position, Criston lays down on the couch and gently pulls you by the hips until you hover over his face. Hands propped up on his bare thighs, gasping for air as his tongue takes the first taste and his beard tickles your inner thighs for the first time. He laps at your cunt like a starved man, little whines and moans sending small shocks up your spine whenever his lips connect to your dripping centre. A particularly angled swipe of his tongue has you falling to your elbows with a squeak at the intensity of it. So, to ground yourself you begin to place kitten licks to the tip of his weeping cock. Watching it twitch at receiving your attention. Licking your lips, to take it as deep into your throat as possible.
Your throat contracts around the girthy length, struggling to adjust to it. When you get accustomed to the feeling, you begin to bob your head in a pace that loosely matches the pattern of his treatment of your core, using hand to tug at the skin left untouched by your lips and hollowing your cheeks every so often.
“You taste so sweet...” Criston whimpers.
The words make your heart beat faster and your inner walls clench around his tongue as you moan around his thick length. You hollow your cheeks once more and then let him go with a wet pop.
“I need to feel you inside of me. Want you to fill me up.” You finally give in to your desires, letting them lead you.
Your legs tremble and close around his body from the overwhelming pleasure. In the blink of a moment, after you get off Criston and immediately his strong hands grab your hips to lay you on your side in front of him, his chest pressed to your back and one arm sneaking between your legs to hold them open. His heavy cock teases your folds once, twice, thrice before slowly burying himself deep inside your velvety walls. You look over your shoulder and the sight of Criston biting his lip is heavenly, but when the moan he tries to hold back comes out as a deep, animalistic groan you are ready to come then and there. One of your arms comes up for you to tangle your fingers in his dark hair. When Criston pulls out to thrust back into your wetness, it clamps around him, pulling a whine from his lungs as his head comes to lay against your shoulder blades. Open mouthed, wet kisses and hot, heavy breaths hit the skin there, leaving behind goosebumps. Every thrust is angled perfectly to hit all the right spots as Criston ruts into you. Your free hand claws at the cushions and anywhere else on the sofa to process the pleasure that burns through your bodies incredibly high, the flames stoked by the weed you had previously consumed. Now you are consumed by every nerve ending burning, craving his touch, always craving more.
“You feel so good.” Criston groans behind you. “So perfect for me.”
The sounds from him grow louder and more desperate over time and the harmony they make with your own moans drives you closer to the edge.
“Fuck me harder. Please, I want more.” The words fall from your lips without thinking about it.
Your mind is too busy to grab a coherent thought even if you tried anyway. It´s entirely occupied by Criston and the way he makes you feel so incredibly good. It’s something you had dreamed about for a long time and even if neither of you admitted to it, so did he.
Immediately Criston complies with your plea and thrusts into you not only harder but also faster, however when the hand that holds you at the hollow of your knee to keep your legs apart comes down to play with your clit, your back arches away from his chest until it can´t go further. If your legs wouldn´t have still be held open by Criston´s arm, they would surely fall close from how heavily they were trembling. Your orgasm is fast approaching, and he is right behind you, nibbling on the skin right underneath your ear. Giving you barely enough time to breathe between the whimpers he pulls from you. The mindless pleas and praises from Criston have long stopped to register in your brain. Only his voice still goes through, and you want it to never stop. The sweet, lust broken tones of the usually smooth timbre are overwhelming.
His thrusts begin to falter as your walls flutter around him the closer you come to the edge of pleasure; the circles he rubs into your aching clit tighter than before with more pressure. You can´t even warn him of how close you are before you feel yourself begin to fall.
Your body shakes and your cunt contracts around Criston´s cock to pull the most desperate whine from his lungs yet as his thrusts grow even sloppier. His teeth sink ever so slightly into your shoulder and with your hand pulling on his hair, he buries himself into you one last time, filling you up until his cum flows back out of your centre.
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“I can´t believe this hasn´t happened earlier.” You giggle when you find your words again. “You are so good.”
“You wanted to do this before?” Criston asks with a raspy voice.
There is no surprise in his question. It is more of a recognition of his own similar desires.
“Hm, I did. Watching you smoke just kind of does it for me I guess.” It was an inexplicable attraction that had pulled you to him during your recent smoke sessions, but for sure one that you are more than just happy to have explored.
His hand rests on your cheek when he turns your face towards him. Inside of you his dick stirs, twitching and rising to life again.
“So, does that mean you are ready for another round?” He asks with a mischievous smirk, already beginning to ease his sensitive cock in and out of you.
“Oh, fuck. Yes.”
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afterdarkprincess · 2 days
Text
I love you (it’s ruining my life)
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Pairing: Sami/Jey Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4,372 Summary: Sami and Jey realize they're in the same hotel and meet up.
Third and final part to the i love you (it's ruining my life) series!
fic inspo started with @motherknuckers forever grateful for this idea 🥰
tag squad: @feelschicken @harmshake @elementaldoughnut12 @southerngirl41 @imabillyami and @jeysbvck
AO3 Link
Part One - am i allowed to cry?
Part Two- fuck it if i can't have him
---
Sami feels himself go still in the bed.
It’s gotta be Jey texting him. The Jey who he just used in his dirty fantasies to get off in a fit of desperation.
Dare he look?
He didn’t respond to Jey’s first text, as touched as he’d been by the gesture he really didn’t know what to say. He’d resigned himself to maybe just giving the message a like in the morning, but now…
He really should flip the phone over, close his eyes and go to sleep. His alarm will go off sooner rather than later, and Kevin is unbearable whenever he tries to sleep in. He’s already pushing it with the late hour.
But his curious hopeful heart can’t resist.
Juicy Uce 3:04am- “You still up? Can’t sleep.”
Sami rubs a hand over his eyes. He’s gotta be seeing things, there’s just no way- except somehow when he opens his eyes the message is still there.
His heart feels like it’s beating out of his chest. This makes no sense,
His feet hit the floor, fingers tightly clenched around his phone as he makes his way back to the bathroom, shutting the door to block out the mocking noise of Kevin’s snores.
He takes a moment to splash some water on his face, trying to calm his heart rate.
Sami taps his fingers against the countertops anxiously, staring at Jey’s contact open on his screen. How on earth is he supposed to respond to that? What does he say? “Yeah I’m up plagued by thoughts of you?”
He sighs out a heavy breath, scratching the back oh his neck. If he’s gonna risk talking to Jey like this he might as well break all the floodgates.
He presses the call button with his thumb.
——
Jey tilts his phone to see the screen, and he’s surprised to see an incoming call rather than a text reply.
His palms start to sweat. He’s alone in the room, he has no real reason not to answer the call.
Fuck it, why not?
He accepts the call and hits the speaker button, letting the phone rest against his chest, cool glass against warm skin.
The call connects, and for a moment there’s just silence. Jey begins to suspect that maybe Sami dialed him by accident. Maybe he rolled over onto his phone or something, this was such a bad idea…
But then.
“Jey? Um, you there?”
Sami sounds unsure and nervous, but just hearing his voice puts Jey’s mind at ease.
“Yeah!” He catches himself, too eager, too energetic for the late hour. He clears his throat. “Yeah, M’here.”
Sami sighs on the other end of the line and he tries not to read into that too much. “Good, good.” He pauses again. “So…what’s up?” His tone sounds cheerful but Jey’s not buying it.
“Dunno, Sami. You called me.” He can’t help but smirk at the ceiling when Sami makes a noise in protest.
“Yeah but- you texted me!! You said you couldn’t sleep!”
Jey laughs, probably louder than he should in the quiet of the room. “M’just fuckin’ wit you, Uce. Chill out.”
“Oh,” Sami giggles, and the sound warms Jey’s heart. “Oh okay. So… can’t sleep huh?”
“Yeah- I don’t know, tried to work out to get tired but no dice.”
There’s another pause before Sami finally responds. “Jey- hm. I mean, you know I’m always here for you but uh… why did you text me tonight? I sorta thought that you hated me now.”
He flinches, his chest aching at Sami’s words. It’s his own fault, he’s given Sami no indication to think anything else of him as of late.
“Just been thinkin’ bout you a lot tonight. I-“ He swallows thickly. “I’m sorry for how things went down between us. How things gotta be now.”
Sami’s gut reaction is to protest, to argue that Jey does have a choice, that their path is not set in stone.
But it feels like a moot point now. He’s said it before, and surely he’ll say it again. And really is that what he wants right now? To fight? It’s not what Jey needs to hear either.
“I’m sorry too. I know… I know this isn’t easy for you.” He bites at his lip. “Been thinking ‘bout you too.” It comes out rushed and half mumbled. Might be a blessing, maybe Jey didn’t hear him.
“What was that last part, Sami?”
Of course he won’t let him off the hook that easy.
“I uh- you’ve been on my mind tonight, that’s all.” He can feel the blush blooming across his face. Jey certainly doesn’t need to know exactly what he was thinking about.
There’s a tiny noise on the other end of the line that was so quiet he almost thinks he imagined it. Then Jey coughs.
“So uh- listen, this might sound crazy, but we both up right? What hotel you in, uce? Maybe we can get some waffles or sumthin?”
Sami’s heart feels like it can’t possibly beat any faster. “Drury Inn, off the highway.” He responds in one breath.
“Shut up,” He hears a smile in Jey’s voice, familiar and dear. “Me too- you alone?”
He shakes his head as if Jey can see him. “Nah, surprised you can’t hear Kev’s snores honestly.”
Jey laughs, “Wanna get outta there? We can talk in my room.”
“Gimme the room number- I’ll be right there.”
__
Jey paces the floor in his room after the line goes dead. He’d given Sami his room number. Sami was coming to his hotel room. Alone. In the middle of the night. This was such a bad idea.
The late hour was making him think stupid thoughts, that had to be it. Because the way Sami had sounded when he said he’d been thinking about Jey- well he dared to hope for a moment.
Two soft knocks come from the door, and Jey pauses, pinches his nose and takes one big breath to steady himself.
He crosses the room in a few strides, opening the door. He’s here. he’s here.
Solid and real in front of him stands Sami Zayn. He’s swimming in a hoodie, and Jey prays that it’s not Kevin’s.
His face is an unreadable mystery, his smile not quite reaching his eyes in the carefree manner he’s used to seeing, but it’s better than the pained looks of anguish that Jey’s become unfortunately accustomed to over the last month.
He’ll take what he can get.
“Ey man, c’mon in.”
Sami nods and enters the room. The door shuts behind them and the sound causes Jey to wince.
It’s a double room, Sami sits on the undisturbed bed precariously and Jey mirrors the action.
They don’t say anything for a moment, but Jey can’t take his eyes off him and Sami’s eyes stare back just as intensely.
“Fuck this,” Jey stands suddenly and gets into Sami’s space.
Sami stands, and he can’t stand the face he’s making, like he’s prepared for a fight.
“Jey-“
He doesn’t get out another word, Jey’s hands are on either side of his face, careful, so careful not to hurt, just to hold.
Jey doesn’t think, doesn’t allow the doubts and the everything to cloud what he’s feeling right now. And all he wants to do is kiss this silly man in front of him.
So he does.
-
The short walk from Sami and Kevin’s room to Jey’s gave Sami just enough to begin panicking.
There was a sick feeling, guilt from earlier bubbling up in his stomach and washing over him like waves.
He stared at the door for longer than he should have. He tries to find his bravery again. Jey wouldn’t have invited him over if he didn’t want to see him. Though Jey also didn’t know all the dirty things that Sami things about, maybe he would reconsider if-
Sami banishes the thought with a quick slap to his forehead, girds his loins and knocks on the door.
A moment goes by, then he hears Jey’s footfalls from within before the door swings open.
Hearing Jey over the phone had been one thing- now being in his presence, seeing him like this in the flesh? Sami fights to smile, keeping his mouth shut for fear of what might come tumbling out of his mouth if he actually starts talking.
The light is low in the room, he shuffles to the free bed opposite the one where Jey had clearly been trying to sleep- this was such a bad idea. This was such a bad idea.
Jey sits across from him, and just looks. Just looks at Sami, staring with those beautiful doe eyes that have plagued Sami’s dreams and waking thoughts for months. He can’t fathom what is face is doing, he fights for neutrality but, but then Jey is standing- god his lovesick guilt is all over his face, isn’t it? Jey’s disgusted with him, ready to throw him right back out into the hallway with a new set of bruises for his troubles. Sami stands, breathing Jey’s name, a half-hearted plea for what he doesn’t even know.
But Jey does something he would have never expected.
His hands find both sides of Sami’s face, softly cradling him in their warmth. He’s so close suddenly, face only inches away from Sami’s own, and he can smell the sweet coconut scent of Jey’s body oil.
And then…
Jey is kissing him.
All of the noise in Sami’s head goes completely silent. He can’t think, can’t move, can’t breathe because Jey is kissing him and it’s everything he’s imagined but better because he’s real and solid and here.
By the time Sami processes what has just happened, Jey is backing away with panic in his eyes- why is he moving away?
“Jey, wait- please!” He’s across the room, as far as he can physically get, pacing and avoiding Sami’s eyes.
But Sami won’t let it end like this, no when he’s so close to getting what he wants. He’s become an expert at understanding the enigma that is Jey Uso over the last few years, knows how to read his body language that is just as complex as any of the other languages Sami knows.
And he can speak it back.
Sami launches himself across the room, catching Jey off guard, crowding into his space, pushing him against the wall.
“Please don’t run from me again,” he barely gets out before smashing their lips together.
Jey melts underneath him, all the tension bleeding out of his body before he starts kissing back ferociously.
They kiss like they fight, a messy violent dance, semi-choreographed with some slight improvisation along the way. Their noses knock together, their teeth clash. It’s visceral and it’s perfect.
“I’m sorry-“ He gasps for breath between bouts. “I’m sorry I didn’t respond at first- it was like I was dreaming all over again.”
Jey laughs hot breath into Sami’s mouth. “Oh so you been dreamin’ ‘bout me huh?”
Sami laughs a little maniacally, grabbing Jey’s curls and biting at Jey’s lower lip. “Oh you have no idea.”
Jey’s hips jump against his- too much, not enough. “You know this- uh, ah- this ain’t what I had in mind, invitin’ you over.” He kisses Sami again anyway. “Wanted to talk-“
Sami wraps his arms around Jey’s waist, pulling him back towards the bed keeping him close, afraid to let more than a few inches come between them now.
He turns them around before they reach the bed, letting Jey fall back into the rumpled blankets before climbing over him, breathing hard as he catches his breath.
He sees the evidence that Jey is just as affected by their actions as he is, his dick throbbing painfully in his briefs.
“Okay- we could uh- talk now, or uh-“
Jey cuts him off with a kiss before grinning. “Later, Sami. Tryin’ to kill me here?”
Relief floods through him and he drops his weight to cover Jey completely with his body and connect their lips once more.
-
Jey’s mind can’t quite keep up with everything that’s happened, but he’s certainly not going to question anything.
Sami had led him to the bed, now held himself up overtop of Jey, bracketing him on all sides, and Jey can barely think beyond the throb of his dick in his sweats.
Sami looks nervous again- the way he did when Jey let him into his room, that faraway haunted look that he hates to see mar Sami’s features. He promises that they’ll take later, and that’s enough for Sami to smile again
Jey kisses him, with more depth and fervor than before, his lips parting to let his tongue dart out to taste Sami’s lips.
He runs his tongue over the bitten rough texture like a balm, like maybe he could cure Sami of the habit with his touch alone. A foolish thought. Sami lets him in, breath mixing between their mouths until they breathe and move as one.
His dick becomes impossible to ignore, spurred on just by the friction against Sami’s thigh.
Jey comes up for air with a plea, “Clothes- Sami, please.” In any other context he would be embarrassed by the tone in his voice, but he doesn’t have a spare fuck to give right now.
Sami moves, pulling him up by the arm. Jey yanks his own shirt over his head and yeets it in the general direction of his bag. He smiles like a shark and grabs Sami’s shirt by the collar and tears it from his body.
“Hooollly shit,” Sami says, but Jey’s eyes are glued to the rise and fall of his chest and the blush that covers his exposed chest. He’s seen Sami shirtless a million times, but never like this, never where he could touch. He puts his hand on Sami’s pec, letting his fingers brush through the soft hair before his thumb brushes against a puffy pink nipple. He rubs a slow circle and listens in fascination as Sami’s breathy moans get higher in pitch.
Jey thinks he could stay just like this for hours, but his dick throbs for attention and there are so many other things he wants to learn.
He lets up on his assault to Sami’s left nipple, and shoves his shorts down to free his erection at last, and Sami’s eyes go wide.
“Jey- are you, we don’t have to do anything like that tonight- I want you to be sure…”
He fights the desire to rolls his eyes. “I look unsure to you, Sami?”
Sami laughs, full and warm, letting his forehead fall to rest against Jey’s. “Guess you got a point there- I’m just, I’m so happy.”
The smile on his face is irresistible, and Jey has no choice but to kiss him again, running a thumb over Sami’s cheek.
When he has the ginger good and distracted, Jey darts his hand down to divest Sami of his shorts too.
“We even now,” Jey grins.
Sami giggles- somehow now being here with Jey, naked as the day they were born, he feels light and free. Like all his worries are miles away where they cannot touch him.
“Jey, kiss me please.” He breathes, and his request is fulfilled when he gets an armful of Samoan lips-first invading his space.
They fall backwards, tumbling into the sheets. Jey’s lips brush against his, sweet, addictive, each kiss leaving him craving another, wanting more.
He licks into Jey’s mouth, savoring the taste of him.
Sami does his best to catalogue each sensation, committing all of this to memory. Each sensation, the way Jey smells and tastes, the soft feel of his skin.
He detaches from Jey’s mouth with some difficulties and moves to kiss him anywhere he can reach, licking under the line of Jey’s beard before moving to his neck. He nips lightly at Jey’s earlobe, just next to the gold hoop he wears.
Jey lets out a broken moan and it’s music to his ears. “Let me hear you make that sound again.” He sucks the earring and the sensitive lobe into his mouth, feasting on the noises it brings out of his lover.
Their dicks slide together, slick with precum, and Sami can’t help but lean into the sensation. He holds onto Jey, tightly gripping a thigh and shoulder as he rocks their erections together, starting a steady pace that feels like heaven.
“Jey- fuck, feels so good, you feel so good-“
Sami’s silenced by Jey’s mouth on his, delving in as they grind against each other.
One of Jey’s hands snakes down to wrap around both of their lengths, holding them together in his wide grip and adding to the friction.
“Gettin’ close, Sami.” Jey breathes into the small space between their lips.
Sami fights for each delicious breath. “Ah, me too. Wanna feel you.” He joins his hand with Jey’s, spurring them both towards the edge.
He can feel Jey’s muscles tighten, feels how he’s effecting this man that he’s longed for, ached for for so long. It’s enough to swell the hot pit of desire and send him shattering in release.
Jey groans beautifully and his cum joins the mess on their hands.
Before he can really think about it, Sami pulls their hands to his mouth, letting his mouth wrap around Jey’s fingers, lapping up their combined release.
Jey’s lips part, staring at him in wonder. “Fuckin’ hell, Sami- you tryin’ to kill me?”
Sami licks at his lips after he deems their hands clean, and can’t help but giggle, sending Jey into a fit of laughter with him.
They collapse into the bed, Jey’s arms wrapping around Sami as he takes the position of little spoon.
Jey buries his nose into Sami’s disheveled curls and lets out a long sigh.
Sami threads their fingers together and kisses the back of Jey’s palm.
“I can’t stay here tonight.”
Jey sighs again. “I know.”
“And I can’t just abandon course now, as much as I want to. Can’t exactly come back to the Bloodline- and Kevin…”
Behind him, he can feel Jey tense up. “What’s that fool got to do wit’ it?
Sami turns over to look him in the face. “Jey- you know it’s not like that with him. But he is my friend and I’m sure he won’t be thrilled, but that’s beside the point. Jey- we’ll have to fight each other. And I don’t know how often we’ll even get to see each other.”
“So?”
“So I’m saying this will be difficult as long as you remain with the Bloodline. Jey, you know how I feel about it-“
Jey lays his hand gently against Sami’s face. “i know, Sami. I know.” He shakes his head as he speaks. “It ain’t easy to leave your own family neither, but-“
“But?”
“I’m willin’ to try. You been right, ‘bout a lot of things. Can’t stand the way Big Uce been acting lately. And Solo been damn near brainwashed, does whatever Roman says.” Those big eyes stare into Sami with full force as Jey takes Sami’s hand again, returning the gesture by kissing their combined palms. “N’ I wanna try this with you.”
Sami’s chest feels ready to burst. “Really? It’ll be really hard, we’ll have to keep things secret for now, until you’re ready to leave- are you sure?”
Jey nods, “It’ll be worth it. We gon’ figure it out.”
He feels his eyes getting heavy, it has to be close to morning at this point, and he really needs to get back to his room before Kevin wakes from his beauty sleep.
“We will,” He murmurs, letting his forehead rest against Jey’s again. “I should go.”
Jey steals a quick kiss.
“Jey,”
Then another.
Sami giggles. “Jey!”
Another.
“C’mon, not fair.”
“Wut?” Jey’s grinning like a mad man between pecks.
“You’re killing me here, Uce.” Sami pushes at his shoulder playfully.
Jey ducks in for one more but he makes a face. “Ugh no, you can’t call me Uce no more bruh.”
Sami can’t stop laughing. “No Uce, but bruh is okay?”
“Yeah bruh,” Jey’s smile is just infectious, but Sami rolls his eyes dramatically.
“I’ve changed my mind- you’re weird actually.” Sami pulls a frowning face, but he can barely keep the act together.
“Really?” Jey’s head tilts and he looks like a puppy and Sami can’t handle it.
“No,” He can’t help but kiss him again, and Jey wraps his arms around his neck, pulling him in again. for a longer kiss. “No, Jey! I have to go, for real.”
Sami breaks them apart, soft smile never leaving his face as he extricates himself from the bed. He looks around for his shirt as Jey just watches him from the bed. He’d burn the whole world down to keep this expression on Jey’s face, but.
“Are you sure?” He pauses with his shirt in hand. “Are you sure about this? I mean you know I want you to get away from Roman, but you don’t- I mean am I worth all this?” Sami worries at the skin of his thumb.
Jey frowns, sitting up to take Sami’s hand in his again. “Yeah, Sami. You are, for real.”
Sami feels the tension bleed out of his shoulders. He has no other option than to trust Jey, and for better or worse, he trusts Jey implicitly.
The expression on Jey’s face changes, and he looks down at their connected hands.
“I’m in this Sami- I’m tired of lyin’ to myself all the time, pretendin’ none of this matters. I been thinkin’ bout it a lot actually- and I’m serious about this, ‘bout me and you.” He still doesn’t look back at Sami’s eyes. “Are you?”
Sami takes Jey’s chin in his hand, tilts his face so Jey has no choice but to meet his gaze. “I am, Jey. It scares me how much sometimes.” He drops a kiss to the worry lines on Jey’s forehead.
Jey nods, “Okay- yeah, good. You still got my number right?”
Sami tugging his shirt on and shoving his feet into his shoes, nods. “Yeah, I’ll get in touch whenever I can get away from Kevin. Maybe I can talk it out with him in time, get him to understand. He can be a pain in the ass, but he means well.”
“Whatever you say,” Jey makes a face. “But Jim just as bad, and Solo been watchin’ me like a hawk since I been back.”
He nods, and shoves his hands into his pockets. “We’ll figure it out- we will.” He takes another step toward the door, and Jey gets up suddenly.
“Wait, Sami-“
“Jey-“ His hands are on Sami’s face again, and he crushes their lips together.
“I love you,” Jey’s eyes are wide, staring at Sami as he tries to process the words that he said. “Not like my brothers, not anymore, hell maybe even not back then. You ain’t gotta say it back, I just…”
It feels unreal, like the mirages that plagued him earlier, but Jey is real, solid beside him. Being vulnerable in ways Sami couldn’t have imagined.
He rubs his thumb against the soft skin of Jey’s cheek, uses the momentum to card his fingers through Jey’s hair soothingly.
“Jey, I’ve loved you for… I don’t even know how long at this point. I couldn’t stay in the Bloodline, I wasn’t strong enough to endure what Roman put us through, not like you. But you were the reason I stayed as long as I did. It broke me to leave you there alone, if my hand hadn’t been forced…”
Jey brushes their lips again. “No use thinkin’ bout it now.”
Sami nods. “But if you’re worried I’m not in this as much as you, you couldn’t be further from the truth. I love you Jey, so much that it’s kind of ruining my life.” He laughs in spite of himself.
“Well at least we on the same page with that,” Jey smiles and Sami can’t help but feel hope. That maybe somehow all of this will end up okay.
He kisses Jey one more time. “I really do need to go,” He checks his phone in his pocket, it’s nearly 4:30 in the morning. “I’m gonna hate myself in a few hours.”
“Me too,” Sami sighs. “Plus I gotta go deal with Kevin’s snoring.”
Jey raises one eyebrow. “You sure you ain’t wanna stay here?”
“I don’t know what would be worse, the snores or an interrogation if I’m not in bed when he gets up.”
“Fair- he can be uhh… loud.”
Can’t argue with that. He nods, “Yeah, that he can. Okay,” Just one more kiss can’t hurt. “I’m gonna go now.” One more brush of lips.
Jey steps forward toward the door, giving Sami no choice but to walk backward as they exchange short pecks. “Gotta get my hit here, Sami.”
Sami grabs the handle of the door, and gives Jey his best “serious” face. “Goodnight, love.”
Jey smiles a big cheesy grin. “Night, Sami.”
The door shuts, leaving him with the image of Jey’s toothy grin to warm him all the way back to his room.
Jey stares at the closed door for a long moment after it closes behind Sami. He sighs, just trying to process everything.
It’s late, and he really will hate himself when he has to get back up in less than 2 hours. He heads back towards the bed, turning out the lights before crashing back onto the bed.
He catches a faint whiff of Sami’s scent still on the sheets and fights a wave of sadness that threatens to wash over him. Sami loves him, they’re going to make this work. He has to be okay with missing him.
Jey checks his instagram reflexively, swiping through stories then his feed. The clock mocks him and his barely open eyes, and he’s just about ready to put his phone down and go to bed.
h. uce 4:35am- ily, go to bed lol
He tap backs the heart emoji, and puts his phone on the bedside, and lets himself drift off to sleep.
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Hope you enjoyed!!! I really enjoyed writing this series 🥰
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toastermelody · 11 months
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hm.
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royalarchivist · 2 months
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
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[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months
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Collection of edits from this comic with Disco Elysium dialogue.
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lecliss · 2 months
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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melverie · 20 days
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Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again
#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but#i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries#and it just made me miss it so much#+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore#like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that#but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too#so i'm kind of at a loss here#tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up#i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know?#like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right#i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries#that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way#aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea......#i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3)#but yeah..there's that#also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while#like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that#but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut#ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there#do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer?#yeah...#that's essentially how it feels like to me#and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha.....#but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here#that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this#longing feeling to start again lol#hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up?#would you also *show* that you care?#i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol)#anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows
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batsplat · 20 days
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another bit of context that I think is key to understanding assen 2015 is that like. okay a last corner is a last corner; it's not like valentino has ownership over it or whatever. but there is also something in-your-face bold about thinking you can beat valentino rossi at that chicane. sure we don't quite associate the gt chicane with one specific iconic rossi overtake the same way we do last corner jerez or the corkscrew, but thinking you can steal the win from valentino at the chicane is kind of in the same spirit. that's valentino's chicane. he has made countless overtakes there over the years. he loves that chicane he really does
take 2013, where assen was the first race vale won after his ducati dry spell. his overtake on marc in that race isn't at the chicane, but it's in turn one - right after marc had made a small mistake on the chicane and gets poor drive down the straight. which could be completely innocuous, but is also the kind of thing that happens when you're defending against somebody you know is very good at one specific bit of the track. which marc knew. of course he did. after the start, valentino made two other overtakes in that race: on bradl and dani (the latter of which marc had an excellent view for). guess where they both happen. guess where marc overtakes dani
and marc straight up said in the assen 2015 post-race presser that his move there was premeditated, that he'd repeatedly tested out and planned that move during practise. marc, who obviously knows valentino's record at that track, who has studied him so so closely. who knew full well that the fight for the victory was most likely going to come down to the two of them, and knew it could come down to the very last chicane. his plan to win that race was to barge valentino aside, ideally on the final lap, at quite possibly valentino's best series of corners on the entire calendar. no wonder marc was pissed when it didn't work
#valentino's like?? bitch?? you thought??#the race winning overtake in assen 2007 obviously also happened at that chicane. obviously!! it's what valentino does at assen!!#in 2018 he does. like. i'm not kidding he does ten overtakes at that chicane. somebody counted it for all the riders in the lead group#his role in that race was being a timmer chicane merchant he just copy pastes that shit#'well maybe that's just a good overtaking spot!!' you might say#you want to know how often the other EIGHT riders involved in that fight *combined* overtook at that chicane? twice. TWICE#i know 2018 does in fact come after 2015 but it's just as blatant an illustration as you can get of how he had that chicane locked down#and on the 2013 thing again - this isn't a chicane marc NATURALLY loves. in 2018 0/12 of his overtakes happen there#that being said in 2013 cal also overtakes dani at that bloody chicane so maybe dani just had a terrible day there lol#it IS a classic assen thing but it's also very much a classic valentino thing. started making a note of it rewatching races and. yeah#the hubris of it all!! unbelievable!! that marc overtake attempt was 1000% based off him studying footage of valentino over the years#and doing it at that stage of that season!! marc you little fucker. maaaaaaaaarc#hm this isn't really well thought out enough to go in the main tag lol#//#brr brr#I suppose you could say marc DID end up providing valentino with the opportunity to do an iconic move at that chicane#very nice of him#the beauty of that last chicane contact is that marc tries to win in the most valentino way imaginable at valentino's beloved chicane#and at the very latest headed to that chicane (if not already far earlier in the weekend) valentino knows exactly what marc's planning#it's not just payback for laguna because it's a controversial move that goes in vale's favour#it's payback for laguna because marc tried to pull a valentino on valentino AGAIN and vale got the better of him
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iceeericeee · 6 months
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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fakemagicjaye · 6 months
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I HAVE FIVE PAGES. LEFT. TO DRAW.
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zoppzoop · 4 days
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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illusion. the art of mimicking real life.
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BATIM is officially 6 years old..oh jeez. A little hard to believe it's been this long. Six long years since the little devil that invaded my life was created. Where did the time go? Still,it's cool to see how far it's come. The journey so far has definitely been a rollercoaster of emotions,with ups and downs,but even so,I'm still glad I discovered this little guy. He definitely brought me a lot of good moments in recent times.
I didn't have anything really new or done specifically with the anniversary in mind,but I had this drawing I was trying to finish a while ago that I thought would be nice to post on the day. As we can see,this successively failed.I had the idea for this drawing since 2021, and I tried to execute it at the time, but I never made it past the sketches. Then last year I tried to redo it from scratch and since then I've been trying to finish it and post it on specific dates and failing successively.
But eventually, I manage to find the strength to finally end this piece altogether and put it behind me. The main drawings had been finished for a while,it was just a matter of doing...well,whatever the final result became. I confess that I didn't really know how to do the "broken mirror" idea at the beginning. And that wasn't even the original idea that I have in mind back in 2021.
I'll admit the first time I stopped and looked at the glass cracks I was unsure if I was liking how it was turning out. But it's better than nothing. And at the moment I'm just thinking "Bro, stop. You've done everything you could do in this drawing. It's over. Just let it go". So I'm going to do it.
Oh and Joey is here too,I forgot to mention that. Technically it was also his birthday too. So happy day of birth,pencil man. He's definitely going through something in this drawing. This was mainly made with one of my AUs in mind and the events that happen in it,but I think if you look at it as something more “canon related” (close to canon?),it might work well too. I think at least.
Better finish this desc before it gets too long. As a bonus,here are the two main drawings I did for this piece,unedited (because I'm not going to show the edited versions,I assume they're kinda ugly separately) :
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Call me "Bendy and the Ink Machine Remix and Lyric Video" because I was AHHH AHHH AHHH trying to finish this drawing.
#The phrase at the beginning of the text is not actually a definition of Illusion it's just a phrase I quoted from TIOL#or at least it's not a real definition i found#I just thought that in the context of the image itself the phrase made sense#batim#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#i guess#joey drew#idk if I should tag Memory Joey on this because considering this drawing is more geared towards the events of my AU than those of canon#+ the fact that I started this drawing before the release of BATDR#the Ink/Cycle Joey here is less ''a memory/copy of the original''#and more like the real deal you know#but at the same time I say this I decided to change the design of the Ink Joey that I was using at the time#to something similar to the one of M!Joey#making it now much more similar to canon even though in the context of the image Ink Joey here is not a memory/copy and#yeah maybe i should have used the old design#now I'm bothered lol;but fuck it#as I had said#if you look at this drawing as something made with canon in mind and not an AU; it might work well too#i.e. interpret it however you want;it's still connected to an AU at the end of the day but that doesn't mean it can't be seen in other ways#what other ways?#I don't know; you tell me. if you want#but hey; at least i wont have to change my AU for the thousandth time because of new canon info haha#damn; only now I find out that there is a tag limit;if anyone has read this far;hi;hope you had a nice week;okay I'll shut up now#crookedsmileart#batdr
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lightbulb-warning · 10 months
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*yearning* id be so powerful if i knew what the fuck i was doing. at all. at any time.
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burinazar · 9 months
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It's funny stepping back into fandom spaces where most people are within my general age range or older after making so many younger friends in MiAbyss fandom* so when i go back to my old stomping grounds of LOGH or T&B or Star Trek or Vorkosiverse or the BJD hobby or just the whole entire SFF/genre fiction reader+writer sphere and it's like oh ok yeah. i'm not really thaaaaaaattttt humongously old i guess. because to be honest with you sometimes in other contexts i feel like the club penguin 18+ elderly penguin
*not to erase those of you in there who are older! it's just that something with MiA that was a brand new experience for me over the last year is that I sure did accumulate some treasured fandom friends a decade-ish younger than me and i feel somewhat protective of them slash occasionally ashamed of not being a more impressive role model or something but okay look you guys don't want a mentor you want a draw-er of shitposts and a writer-er of decentish fanfics and That I Can Do
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