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monstersinthecosmos · 8 months

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Hi! I have a bit of an odd question. Do you think it’s possible to read your VC fics having zero familiarity with the source material? More accurately, how can I get acquainted enough with what’s canonically relevant in order to be able to read them? I am a long time fan of alllll your Sheith fics and have read them all so many times I can’t even count anymore. I saw you mention some similarities between Keith and Armand (?) in a comment and Immediately tried reading your latest VC fic but it went right over my head 😭. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate your writing - and how read to filth *I* feel when reading your stuff LOL - so I won’t try, but I hope you can tell it’s a lot. My latest rereading binge was set off when I saw you post about the new chapter of ttsr! on twitter and I lostttt it, I literally think about that fic every day (if you can give me any teasers at all about the next chapter, I will die and hopefully resuscitate when it’s posted). In any case, in the meantime, I’d love to read your other works. Any tips would be much appreciated. Either way, thank you so much for all you’ve already put out there. <3

dfasdhkgj oh my gosh WHAT A QUESTION AND IT'S SOMETHING IVE THOUGHT ABOUT SO MANY FUCKIN TIMES !! You're not even the first to ask! And I've answered in both directions because I've had VC people read my Sheith fics!!! OH LORD OKAY LISTEN LET'S HAVE A SEAT FOR A MINUTE. (Also thank you so much omg 🥹🥹🥹)

Okay to break this down!!! My main two ships I’ve posted about are either Armand/Daniel or Marius/Armand and they can BOTH be Sheith analogs imo, especially because I think Sheith fandom is SO fic heavy and we have so many sort of like established tropes and fanon for the way people approach Shiro!

But starting with Armand on his own, here’s what you need to know: He’s 500 years old but he was turned when he was 17! He’s always going to look like he did when he was 17 in 1497!!!!! He’s from the RENAISSANCE BAYBEE!!! But he grew up spending a lot of time in a monastery and he was ABDUCTED when he was like 14ish and SEX TRAFFICKED! And then he’s found & rescued by a vampire named Marius, who’s like 1500 years old and very lonely and looking for a companion! Marius is convinced that it will backfire if he tries to turn any old rando into a vampire and what he really needs is like a BLANK SLATE that he can groom for vampirism. When he finds Armand, Armand is so fucking traumatized that he doesn’t remember how to talk, doesn’t remember where he’s from, has no memory of being trafficked, etc. Marius is also feeling traumatized so he feels a connection to this person and decides THIS IS THE ONE and he takes care of him for a few years and winds up turning him. (They have a lot of sex and stuff it’s wild.) I actually wrote an AU based on it for Sheith one time on Twitter so this might also explain it!!!

((I'M EXTREMELY SILLY BC I ALSO SHARED THE ART BUT WITH RED HAIR TO BE ARMAND HAHAH))

Then blah blah a lot of traumatic shit happens, they get separated, they don’t see each other until the 1980s lol. Armand also spends like 300 years in a cult. And in the 1970s he meets DANIEL! And if you are aware the first book of this series is called INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE, Daniel is the interviewer! He’s the one who interviewed the vampire!!!! And Armand STALKS HIM LMFAO and threatens him and they play a cat and mouse game. But then they start getting used to each other and kinda enjoy seeing each other and they wind up being lovers. This goes on for like TWELVE YEARS during which time Daniel is like slowly killing himself with alcohol because he wants to be a vampire so bad and Armand refuses to turn him. Eventually Daniel is like dying of liver failure or whatever and Armand turns him because he can’t handle the thought of losing him.

What I think Armand has REALLY IN COMMON with Keith and why they’re fun to write about is that like

- They’re both orphans and their experiences being orphaned and losing people at young ages really dictates a lot of their behavior and how they treat others. I think a ton of Keith’s characterization comes down to his abandonment issues and for Armand it’s the same. There’s some added drama with Armand because he’s a vampire so like, he’s so convinced that vampires can’t have meaningful relationships with their makers (because of his own maker) that he can’t bear to turn Daniel. It’s a lot like how Keith, in his human version, can’t get close to people and doesn’t even try to. Even looking like the entire time he’s with Voltron he really never bonds with anybody, even way later in canon when he admits he doesn’t think any of them are friends. AND HOW HE FUCKIN HAS NO ISSUE LEAVING THE TEAM TO JOIN THE BLADES BECAUSE HE’S NEVER FELT SUPPORTED BY ANYBODY EXCEPT SHIRO?

- I think also that Keith deliberately makes himself unpleasant to people (ie: immediately stealing Shiro’s car) so that he can have some control over people coming in and out of his life. Like, if he pushes them away first they can’t leave him. And like with Armand, his cult years remind me of this too. Like in VC there’s a LOT of Catholicism in the themes of the writing and Armand was very religious when he was alive, and then he winds up indoctrinated by this cult. He spends 300 years living in filth, in rags, under a cemetery, not allowing himself any type of creature comforts because the cult believes that vampires are a tool of the Devil. In VC there’s a lot of themes of like, abstinence/absolution/penance and so I think there’s some thematic resonance here when it comes to like, forcing yourself to be uncomfortable because you think you deserve to be. And also just like, after a life of abandonment and trauma picking SOMETHING to have control over, even if it's not healthy.

- A huge theme in VC is also the concept of the vampire as the outsider, which is how the author intended it. So like all the ways vampires are on the outside of society or humanity is always kind of infused to the stories and I think same can be said for Keith being Galra!!!!! And in VC there’s always this thing about how like, the vampires all do terrible things and the stories still ask us to love them, and I think the vampires always eventually are just asking to be loved! They’re all just looking for love !!! And I MEAN. I MEAN???? KEITH?????

- On a shallow note, smol angry bby lol

- This is completely headcanon territory but I think they each have the same AUTISM CODING; both fandoms notice this lol. Just that they’re like, KINDA WEIRD AND PRICKLY? Don’t always understand social customs, often deadpan! <3 Armand has a lot of sensory stuff in canon and I think we see this a TON in Sheith fic even though it’s never said specifically on the show that Keith probably gets sensory overload from his Galra traits.

So when it comes to fics, what I love about this is that like I’m sure you’ve noticed like there’s such a WIDE SPECTRUM of Sheith fic because they are so wholesome and support each other so much and are just such a beautiful ship? But then they also fit all the like smut tropes LMFAO like the size difference, the mentor/mentee, Shiro being daddy af, etc. So I think like if you were to read either of these VC ships you could sort of imagine a Sheith analog to make it make sense, whether you want it to be loving or if you just want NASTY DISRESPECTFUL SEX.

Marius/Armand is a bit like canon Sheith in that there’s the age difference, the size difference, and it’s teacher/student. As an AU you can say: Shiro is an ancient lonely vampire who purchases a trafficked boy to be his apprentice.

The catch here is like! Marius is a really polarizing character in VC fandom because he can be kind of an arrogant prick sometimes LOL. And he’s very obsessed with like, being patient and wise, and he tries REALLY HARD to be patient and wise but he’s actually kind of petty and has a temper. In a lot of ways, Shiro reminds me of like everything Marius WISHES he was. And like both characters are so obsessed with the concept of PATIENCE, even though Shiro is a bit better at it.

And Marius was ALSO abducted by DRUIDS 😭😩😩😩! Weird coincidence! But Marius was turned because he was taken hostage by some druids and forced into like a Wicker Man religious ritual where he was sacrificed to a vampire and turned against his will and he's real salty about it. IT JUST FEELS A LOT LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO SHIRO, RIGHT? Except Shiro is like a modern person who knows how to do therapy or something.

So I think Marius/Armand fics could also fit the kinda Dark!Shiro trope that a lot of Sheith fics have. Like if you picture how Rifa or Aphor have written dark!Shiro LOL or even like how people characterize Kuron sometimes. Like, still Shiro, but, kind of a dark undercurrent happening.

The other catch is that Armand and Marius get separated because they get their house raided by the cult (the one that eventually indoctrinates Armand) and they burnt the house down and it’s traumatic for everybody; Marius is severely injured and has to go into hiding for like 100 years to recover, and by the time he finds Armand again he just sees that he’s fully engaged with this cult and he decides to leave him alone and doesn’t risk trying to rescue him because he thinks Armand has like, found his place with them and he can't risk betrayal/rejection.

And like, this is never exactly in canon, but I just think it has so much to do with Why Armand is Like That, and why he has all these Daddy/Maker Issues, and 500 years later it’s why he’s so squeamish about turning Daniel and just cannot do it.

SO I WOULD POSIT THAT THIS IS LIKE, THE DARK ALTERNATE UNIVERSE OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SHIRO ACTUALLY GAVE UP ON KEITH?????? Like Keith would be fucking crushed, he’d never be okay again !!! 😭😭😭

But having said that, depending what era a fic is set in, Marius/Armand PRE-DISASTER is very much Sheith when it comes to like Daddy & Mentor stuff and that type of vibe. ALSO, IN CANON, A LARGE CHUNK OF THEIR TIME TOGETHER IN THE BOOK IS THEM HAVING BDSM LOL. So there’s that.

Now! Armand/Daniel, on the other hand!!! imo fits really nicely into like Sheith fic tropes/fanon like FERAL KEITH and DISASTER GAY SHIRO. So the AU would be this: Shiro is a nerdy journalist trying to publish a book about vampires, and Keith is a weird creepy vampire who stalks and fucks with him for years until they start liking each other, Keith becomes his sugar daddy, Keith likes to watch him fuck people and they cry a lot because Keith doesn’t think they can be together and he loves Shiro so much he refuses to CURSE him with vampirism because he thinks of it as a CURSE! They do a lot of kinky stuff and need each other but also sort of resent each other.

And in this situation! The thing about it is that in VC canon, Daniel is the person who HEALS Armand the most!! He learns how to be a person again because he has Daniel!!!! AND SO I JUST THINK THIS TOO IS LIKE, SHIRO IS THE ONLY PERSON KEITH CAN BE HIMSELF AROUND, THE ONLY PERSON HE CAN BE VULNERABLE WITH, THE PERSON WHO GIVES HIM STRENGTH AND HELPS HIM BECOME A BETTER MAN!!!! And in some ways I think Daniel is that to Armand, as well, even if it’s in a real fucked up toxic kinda way because of all the stalking and alcohol abuse and whatnot LOL but I think imagining Disaster Gay Shiro can sorta give you a primer! It kinda reminds of that Sochi fic where Keith is a vampire ??? The “You need to eat something” and he hands Shiro a fucking TOMATO?? That fic LOL.

Another way I would TLDR this is like, with the dynamic you want, do you want Vampire!Keith with Human!Shiro (Armand/Daniel) or Vampire!Shiro with Human!Keith (Marius/Armand) ? It changes the power dynamic significantly. I think again within the spectrum of Sheith fanon and the huge culture of fanfics we’ve written that there’s so much space for both to fit as Sheith, like if you want feisty feral Keith or if you want like vulnerable uwu bby Keith. LOL.

One last thing that I think is important to mention LOL is that in the VC lore, the vampires are asexual! Once they become vampires, drinking blood is like THEIR WORLD and it’s so much better than sexual gratification that they lose interest in sex. A lot of VC fic doesn’t honor this but I fucking adore it as an asexual, so if you do decide to check any of my fics out they're gonna be fooling around and not often penetrative sex, because that’s how it is in canon! The vampires will still play with their food and sorta get their pets off but they don’t actually stick it in LOL.

So I talked a lot, I’m not really sure if this answers your question LMAOOOO. If you did try to read any of my VC fics I think this kinda gives you a primer for the relationship dynamics even if misc canon events get dropped or hinted at that might be out of context. I’m always very happy to answer questions if something doesn’t make sense!

Regarding my most recent fic, what I think you’d need to know if you want to take a shot:

It takes place around part of the book where Marius and Armand have a huge fight that ends in a BDSM scene of Marius whipping him and Armand crying and stuff and then getting off lol and then they go out to a banquet and Marius kills a bunch of dudes in front of him, and all the dudes are saying lewd shit to Armand about what they want to do with him and how they want to fuck him and etc.

For Armand & Daniel’s canon, one of the things that happens is that Armand makes Daniel fuck people while he watches, so I decided to ask like, what if this habit is something he LEARNED from Marius, and so I decided to write a fic about Marius watching people fuck Armand after the banquet incident.

Marius has sort of a group home for boys he rescues (but Armand is his fav that he’s grooming lol) so there’s a few mentions of that, and one of the boys is called Riccardo and he’s Armand’s best friend! You’ll also see a namedrop of someone called Bianca who’s this local woman that Marius is in love with lol.

In the fic there’s also some fuckery like name drops of Andrei (Armand’s given name that he doesn’t even remember) and Ivan (his father that he also doesn’t remember) and there’s a scene with “THE PARENTS” aka Akasha and Enkil. And blah blah LONG STORY LMAO but Marius takes care of The Parents, and they’re like the first ever vampires who are so old as fuck and bored that they’re just catatonic in a shrine where he keeps them safe. And he goes to check on them and stuff and he wants Akasha’s approval so bad and wants her to give him a sign that he should turn Armand and she just is hardcore ignoring him and he’s upset lol.

Also if this helps to know, Armand’s name is Amadeo if you see that in fics. Same guy! He changes his name to Armand later when he’s a vampire.

If you check out any Armand/Daniel fics they’re a lot more straightforward, I mostly just write porn about them LOL!!!!!! The book kinda glosses over the twelve years that Armand stalked & then bedded Daniel so my fics are just like trying to think about more details about what went on or think about individual incidents that might have happened.

So yeah!

THIS POST IS A MESS, I HOPE IT MAKES SENSE LOLLLLLLLLLL

I got into VC when I was like 12 years old so it was such a blueprint for me for stuff I like and Marius has always been my favorite character so I think it’s got a lot to do with why I like Shiro so much. And Sheith fandom is such a strong community of writers and I feel like I’ve really thrived there as a fic writer, but I still make time to write about VC because it’s like my main home that I’ll never be able to get over. And I could talk about this all fucking day, I am a disaster!!!

Anyway thank you so much, this was such a nice thing to say. :D Please talk to me about Sheith and vampires any time and if you do decide to read any vampire fics you can always ask if the details are confusing! But no pressure at all man sometimes like I just do NOT get other ships LOL. Like there are authors I love to death and it’s like I’m reading another language if I try to check out their other fics.

And finally, re: teasers…………. flattery will get you everywhere, my friend:

“Oh,” Keith says. His temple grinds against the wall as he turns, trying to roll the stiffness out of his shoulders. And if Shiro is going to pretend to be collected, Keith can do that, too. He can be embarrassed that Kolivan walked in on him getting his ass beat later, but he can play it cool. “Hey.”

Shiro’s eyebrow quirks and he motions towards his upper lip, some attempt to be subtle and polite, but Kolivan speaks over it.

“You’re bleeding,” he says. His arms are folded behind his back and he stands straight up, yellow eyes taking stock of him, of the bots, of the mess in the room.

Keith sniffles. He tastes the blood in the back of his throat. The tip of his nose tingles again and he tugs at the bottom hem of his t-shirt to wipe his face. Cold air hits his exposed belly, and Shiro’s smell gets stronger as he wipes his nose. Less diluted by metalic hint of his own blood. When he looks back up at them, the reality settles in. And Shiro looks small next to Kolivan, but the two of them together make Keith feel like a complete child.

Shiro’s fingers fidget against his helmet some more, and he glances up at Kolivan, watching him for a moment even as he speaks to Keith.

“We just wanted to... check on you,” he says. Keith wonders what Shiro would’ve said if they were alone. And wonder if the adrenaline slowly creeping out of his body would leave him feeling this vulnerable all of a sudden. He turns away from them, finds his discarded baton on the floor and puts it away as an excuse to busy himself.

“I’m gonna go to the med bay,” he says, to spare Shiro the awkwardness of having to tell him to. He wipes his nose on the back of his hand and peeks at the red smear left behind. He tries to blow his nose on the hem of his shirt, not caring that he’s being disgusting. When he looks back up, Shiro’s face is that same diplomatic-neutral, doing his best not to respond.

Being around Kolivan isn’t like being around the Paladins, though. Not like Shiro has to pretend Keith isn’t his favorite. Kolivan had called Shiro his mate last night.

Keith hadn’t told Shiro that, though. Hasn’t seen him alone since. He wonders what Shiro and Kolivan have been talking about. What went on when they watched Keith get brutalized for hours.

He’s still trying to be professional, though. Maybe he’s being submissive to Koilvan. Trying to show they’re not too horny to function in a fucking war.

Your mate. Hah. Keith had been too tired to worry about it at the time. Now, he looks back and forth between them, rolling the word over and over in his head. What a strange thing to say.

The silence is awkward, and he wipes his hands on the tops of his thighs. His pajama bottoms still, and he realizes he’s not wearing shoes. He should leave, and has the excuse to, but the two of them are shoulder to shoulder in front of the door.

“AI is never going to teach you,” Kolivan says. It’s simple, the way he speaks. The pitch of his voice crawls across Keith’s skin. “This program is not smart enough.”

Heat rises in his face. He rubs at his nose again, fidgeting, tasting the blood as it drips down the back of his throat.

Before he can think of anything to say, Shiro is smiling, gesturing. “It’s good for keeping everyone in shape. The weapons programs help teach them proper form.”

“The whole team does this?” Kolivan asks.

Shiro looks from Kolivan to Keith, then back. Keith sniffles again and pinches at his nostrils.

“We have team exercises,” Shiro says. “Keith puts in some extra time on his own.”

Kolivan’s eyes sweep over the room. It twinges in Keith’s stomach, wondering if Shiro can tell where Kolivan is looking. He has to ask later, when they’re alone. But there’s that eerie feeling that Keith gets, in his spine, that he can read Kolivan’s eyes, even without pupils. It makes him wonder what Kolivan even sees. How he sees.

And the idea of it dawns on him, the possibility peeling back and back that maybe one day he’ll be able to ask Kolivan about it. When they’re alone.

For a moment his mouth feels dry. He looks between the two of them again and it sets in that… he’s different now.

Not just literally, like he’s an alien. Besides, he was an alien the whole fucking time and just didn’t know it. No, it’s the knowledge of it. Today is the first day he knows it. And it’s never going to be the same after this. Not really.

Being out here is fucked up. Getting involved was an accident. But. He’s here now. And here’s Kolivan, and Keith can ask him questions, and get to know the others.

Shiro sneaks him a look, while Kolivan is inspecting the weapons rack. It’s an Are you okay? kind of look.

Keith chuckles. He grabs a water as he starts heading towards the door. Claps Shiro on the arm as he passes by.

Who the fuck knows anymore.

🫡

#if you’re a multishipper i can also suggest a hardmode shklance situation #like marius is shiro but daniel is LANCE !! LMAO!!!#yikes =P #ALL MY BLORBEN IN ONE PLACE????? HELLO???#this was my dream ask #i am in a frenzy i am feral #i didnt say this in the text bc i was ranting too long already but theyr'e also neither EXACTLY ORPHANS #like keith's mom is alive!#Armand's mortal family is alive #but he was taken from them!#so they both feel abandoned all the same!

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emmabirb8 · 2 days

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I've been an Invader Zim fan since 2011.

I was 15-16 at that time, and though I did thoroughly enjoy the show, I was not mature enough to really get it. Sure, it was funny, but I didn't pick up on the subtleties and style of humor beyond the surface level. I liked the wackiness and the characters, but I SURELY wasn't at a point of being able to deconstruct themes or analyze character motivations and narratives (like I very much enjoy doing now). I remember discovering an artist on DeviantArt who drew cute ZaGr stuff, so that was the pairing I liked too. I didn't think too deeply about much, and honestly, I don't think the majority of fans (if they were my age or younger, that is) did either. Everything was taken as dumb and silly for the most part, and that IS truthfully a major component of the show itself.

Getting back into Invader Zim within this past year though, I'm looking at it through a WILDLY different lens. I like Invader Zim for what it is and how it's intended to be perceived. I like that the show is meant to be dark, satirical, and tragic at the same time that it's silly, chaotic, and nonsensical. Almost everything that happens onscreen is written in to be funny above all else. (I've mentioned before that I've been watching Jhonen's Twitch streams for a while now, and I have a MUCH better understanding of his sense of humor bc of that. IZ makes way more sense if you can sorta see things from JV's perspective, lol.)

But at the same time, I also like Invader Zim for what it offers in terms of interpretation and what it can imply (intentionally or not). There is genuinely SO MUCH DEPTH to this dorky lil cartoon that a casual viewer wouldn't immediately pick up on. And a lot of that depth, I think, was not woven in purposely. The show itself was never meant to be taken so seriously. Nevertheless, I'm constantly fascinated by what IZ implies about good and evil, the nature of general society, and especially how it goes about demonstrating the devastating effects of social isolation and bullying. Meta for this series is always pretty damn *chef's kiss.* And what's even more interesting is how viewers manipulate canon to expand upon this world and these characters.

Given that I've come to understand Invader Zim better, I've also grown very fond of ZaDr. Now, while I wouldn't want to see this pairing happen in canon material, I love the potential it possesses in transformative contexts.

In reality, I get that these characters were intended to have a deep hatred for one another and a never-ending rivalry for the sake of comedy and not much else. It's an extraterrestrial perpetually throwing hands with a 12 year old because he's incompetent and his plans often fail. And that's funny. That's the point. But beyond that, canonically, these are two characters who are mirrors of each other; they're both treated like garbage by their respective peers, and they both crave acknowledgment, validation, and a sense of purpose. Throughout their story, they find they're only able to obtain these things from each other, so as a consequence of their similar personalities, they become utterly, unhingedly obsessed with each other (to a sometimes unhealthy degree). They are undeniably forever intertwined by design of how the show is set up.

And because of that, shipping of these characters was, frankly, inevitable in fandom spaces. I myself fell victim to their appeal too. (Sorry, Jhonen. 😅)

I'm not gonna go into any discourse surrounding this pairing because there's already PLENTY of that to go around online. Everyone has their own opinion on the subject, and that's fine. I respect that. Point is, even though I understand and appreciate what Zim and Dib are supposed to be in the context of the show, I also enjoy the idea of them as friends and romantic partners outside of and beyond the confines of canon.

And that's something that I think many fans who are biased toward ZaDr would also agree with! Actually, I'd say the majority of people who ship characters in ANY media would concur. We like the idea of seeing how specific relationships could develop over time and/or within different settings and circumstances. It's NOT always about wanting to see a relationship unfold on screen or in fan works strictly adhering to canon. It's about stretching canon, or in some cases, scratching canon entirely however you see fit! Who cares! It's fiction!

For me personally, I enjoy ZaDr because its attributes fall into so many trope categories that I've come to adore over the years (ones that I either wasn't aware of when I was younger, or that I didn't enjoy in the same intensity as I do now). Zim and Dib are, or could be, depending on context:

Codependent toxic soulmates

Human/non-human

Shared history

Classic enemies to lovers (or, as I often prefer it, enemies to friends to lovers)

Bicker couple

Battle couple, when put in the right setting for it

Violence as a love language

Smol and tol

The wild card paired with the rational one, the best part about this being that sometimes the more rational one is Dib, and sometimes it's Zim bc they're both a special flavor of insane

Make each other worse/stupider when together, tho oddly, they also kinda bring out the best in each other too

And, my personal favorites, the potential for hurt/comfort and angst with a happy ending, with the comfort and happiness aspects ultimately coming from each other

I like what these characters could be, to and for each other, apart from their roles in the show.

I would never want to explore a dynamic between Zim and Dib that goes beyond "frenemies" territory in canon (because that doesn't fit what the show is, and I do appreciate the integrity of Jhonen's vision). The subtle foundation for them is there, it's just that it can't really work unless a few key details are changed or manipulated, and, well...

I sure as hell like exploring every bit of that expanded potential in fan works because it's fun to imagine the various directions things could go if they were different!

This isn't me, like... trying to defend my (or anyone else's) enjoyment of this particular ship or trying to convince people to like it. Or the show for that matter! To each their own, truly. And I'm obv aware of the controversy ZaDr often incites and why. Everyone has valid reasons for liking OR not liking it, and I accept differing viewpoints on it. It's a touchy, nuanced subject to be sure. But this isn't about that.

I don't really know what this is, actually, aside from a very long very weird essay, lol. I just wanted to process why and how all of this works for me with my changed perspective from when I was first introduced to Invader Zim in my teens up until now.

It's strange, looking back. I didn't get ZaDr years ago. But I do now, and so much of it, at least from my perspective, has to do with taking the crumbs present in canon (that are undeniably there, whether you choose to acknowledge them or not, and whether they're intentional or not) and absolutely running with them to the ends of your own wild imagination.

#invader zim #invader zim meta #zadr #iz zadr #zim #dib membrane #my posts #this is... A LOT but i just needed to work thru it for my own sanity lol #said it before and i'll say it again: pls utilize the tag blocking function however you need to bc i KNOW this can be very Yikes for some #but at the same time this is my blog and i'm gonna do what i want :P

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